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I was homeschooled for 10 years and
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while most of it I view very positively,
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there's three main things that I wish
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could have been done maybe a little bit
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differently. Hey, my name is Jacob
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Gooden and uh if you're new here, this
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is the Exhomeschoolers club, the best
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exhomeschooler podcast this side of the
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internet. Normally I've got guests on.
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We chat about the good, the bad, and the
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ugly of growing up a homeschool kid. So
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if that's you, you're in the right
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place. Okay. And for anyone who's
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returning, hey, how's it going? Welcome
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back. You heard me right. I'm going to
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talk about three things that I would do
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differently in my homeschool experience.
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I want to preface with this. I was
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homeschooled for 10 years from second
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grade all the way through high school. I
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think my parents did a decent job. I
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think it turned out okay. I'm not the
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dumbest guy in the room. Also, maybe not
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the smartest guy in the room, but I made
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it. I'm an adult. I'm surviving. We're
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okay. That being said, I think that
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there's three things that if I could go
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back in time and tell my my parents at a
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younger age be like, "Hey, I think maybe
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do these." These are them. So, number
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one, I think just a better understanding
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of how our country works. And I'm
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speaking from a United States of America
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perspective here, but how does our
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country work? I sometimes question that
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dayto-day. And you know, I have a decent
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understanding of history, right? I
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understand how this country came to be.
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I understand the founding documents. I
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understand. I've read all that stuff. I
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understand there's three branches of
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government. Like, I get it. I think what
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was missing was maybe not so much of the
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class aspect of like here's how
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government works. What I think was
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missing was seeing how it plays out and
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affects our day-to-day lives. So for me,
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I look at that and I go, I think the
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missed opportunity was an involvement in
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local and state
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politics. Now, that doesn't mean like I
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wanted to be governor of California or,
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you know, even serve in local
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government, but I think it would have
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been really cool to do field trips to
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state capital. I think it would have
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been really fun to meet elected
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officials, be able to ask them about
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their job and what they do and how they
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vote and how they listen to their
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constituents. Going to town hall
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meetings and like learning about what
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that looks like and how do we stand up
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and you know these are our elected
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officials. We put them in office to
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enact the will of the people and we are
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the people. So, how do we communicate
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that best to them? And I think it would
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have just been really cool to have a lot
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of those real hands-on experiences,
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right? And homeschooling is a hands-on
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experience. A lot of people cite that as
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being one of the main reasons they want
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to homeschool, right? Is that ability to
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give their kids like unique experiences.
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What better way than like teach them how
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the the world works. So I think that now
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as an adult and getting much more
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heavily involved in politics and an
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understanding of how this country works,
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I look at it and I go this would have
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been so easy to accomplish. It's
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timeconuming obviously but it would have
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been the the information is there so to
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speak. It's just a matter of actually
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like going and doing it. So that's
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number one. Number two is
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that I would push back on my parents a
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little bit of involving religion in
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every curriculum that we had. Now, I
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think religion is can be important and
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for a lot of homeschool families,
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religion is like a key proponent of why
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you homeschool your kids. For the person
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I am today, that's not a good enough
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reason to homeschool your kids is
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religion solely. But I do understand it,
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right? I understand wanting to have a
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little bit more control over the things
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that your child is learning. When you
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limit everything that you're being
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taught into a bubble, and religion to
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some degree is a bubble, you block out
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voices that could have compelling
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arguments. And
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so for me, I think being able to as as
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I've gotten older and being able to
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explore a more diverse look at the world
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and ask questions of other religions and
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other belief systems and and things like
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that, it's been very eye opening to kind
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of just
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like feel it out, right, and figure out
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what I believe on my own. So, let me
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give you kind of an example, right?
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because I can talk hypotheticals all
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day, but let me give you an example.
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Science for a lot of Christian
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homeschoolers is very Bible- based,
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right? And so you have this historical
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part and this faith-based part, right?
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And they work together to to reconcile
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it, right? So we believe in like young
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earth. We believe in, you know, literal
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7-day creation as a Christian. I'm
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speaking as a Christian at this at this
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point. We believe in things like Noah's
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ark, right? and Noah's ark being a key
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catalyst in the laying down of a ton of
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fossils that we find today, right? And
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so I grew up believing all of this and
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yeah, there was maybe a little bit of an
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emphasis on like evolution, but it was
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always from a standpoint of yeah, but
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evolution has already been debunked. We
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know that that's not
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true, so kind of don't worry about
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it. Which creates in itself its own
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problems of like
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evolution is not debunked first and
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foremost. Um, some people would argue it
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is, but but I don't think it is. It's
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it's a commonly held belief by many
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people that that's what happened, right?
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And so rather than just kind of like
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pushing it off to the side and saying,
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"Oh, that's an already debunked theory.
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We don't really need to focus too much
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on it. Here's like an overview of of
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understanding it." I think that being
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able to look at Let's talk about
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creation. I think being able to look at
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an account of here's what we here's how
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we think the world started, right? from
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a from a biblical perspective of God
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spoke it into existence and it was a
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literal seven days and he built all of
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these things in in those days to looking
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at like an evolutionary perspective and
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understanding okay so the big bang like
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let's talk about that and let's look at
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the the intricacies of of what would
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need to happen to to do that right can
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we replicate that is that being
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replicated in other galaxies those types
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of questions and then you talk about the
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evolution of like where do trees come
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come from? Where does where does human
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come from? Where does human come from?
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Where do humans come from? Another
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really interesting one, and I learned
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more about this when I got to college
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because I took geology when I was in
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college. It was a rocky time, uh, if you
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will. Um, but I thought one of the most
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interesting parts about that class was
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we were discussing how rock layers were
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were laid down over time and how to
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assess the amount of time between rock
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layers. And
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so I grew up believing again the Bible
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and believing in Noah's arc and the
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worldwide flood, right? And also
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believing that that was a massive
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catalyst in the world that killed
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thousands, millions, I don't know, lots
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of living beings and they were, you
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know, buried underwater and under soil
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and and things like that, right? And so
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when we are looking at like the fossils
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and we're looking for fossils, we can
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find stuff from that time. And then I
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took this geology class and like I said
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it was it was interesting to talk about
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the length of time and understanding how
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if you've ever looked at a rock
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structure. Let's talk about the Grand
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Canyon. Like if you've ever been to the
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Grand Canyon, you look at the Grand
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Canyon, it's like all these lines up the
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Grand Canyon. And it's really
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fascinating how it's time, right? It's a
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symbol of time that's going up. And so
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to look at the opposition of
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Christianity, which you know is that
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these layers get laid down over
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thousands, hundreds, thousands, millions
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of years, things get trapped inside of
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them. And what that means, right? And
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how do things get trapped inside of
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them? Sometimes it's quickly by rushing
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water. Sometimes it's slow by dying out
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in the wilderness and rotting away. And
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then, you know, over time just dust
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blows and, you know, maybe some waters
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come through and whatever else. But that
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diversity of like thinking I thought was
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really interesting. And again, I went to
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a Christian college, so a lot of this
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still steeped in religion when it comes
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to the
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sciences, but starting to ask those
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questions of like, well, what if, you
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know, and some people would argue those
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are really dangerous. Is it really
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dangerous to ask questions? I don't
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think so. I think it's I personally
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think it's really fun because it pushes
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you to find answers, right? And the
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strongest argument I always hear for
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faith is that
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well at some point you just got to
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believe, right? You just got to take a
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leap of
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faith, so to speak. And this episode is
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not meant to be, you know, sway you on
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religion or anything like that, but I
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just I always find it interesting
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because uh in conversations I have with
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friends who are still believers and
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still believe in like literal 7-day
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creationism and young earth theory and
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things like that. It's always
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interesting because they get we get to a
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point in the conversation where
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sometimes they just go, "Well, okay, but
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at some point you just got to like have
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faith that this is what it is." And
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ultimately, yeah, I understand. like I
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also have to have faith that in whatever
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I believe of like how did the world
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really start? So anyway, the reason I
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bring this up as a point that I would
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change in my curriculum is not so much
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of being like, oh well now I'm not a
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Christian and I wish that my parents had
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given me the knowledge beforehand. No, I
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I bring it up because initially when I
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was presented with these
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ideas, they became really good talking
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points for me to like discuss and ask
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questions about. And I think that that
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was so much lacking in my my curriculum
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growing up of everything was faith-based
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from science to English to math to just
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everything was just had this layer of
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Christianity in it. Once I stepped
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outside of that and I started to be able
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to ask questions about other religions.
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I loved Greek mythology growing up. But
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it was just that. It was mythology. It
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was a storytelling mechanism, right? And
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it was an explanation as to why the
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world was the way it was. Why did it
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thunder? Oh, well, it must have been
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Zeus, right? And what happens when you
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die? Well, you go to the underworld and
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there's u Hades, right? And I loved
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Greek mythology because I looked at it
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as this kind
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of an explainer of the world before we
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had modern day science. As humans, we
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put these characters, so to speak, and
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on these pedestals to look at. But I was
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never I never really
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understood why we didn't actually look
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at it from the perspective of there were
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people who fully believed this who were
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dedicated to this type of
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religion. Why was that? What led them to
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that? And so I think just the diversity
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aspect of it would have been really cool
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to
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understand argue modern day religion.
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Why do Buddhists believe what they
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believe? Why do Mormons believe what
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they believe? How is it really all that
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different? And less so from a combative
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spo space. Um because I think maybe
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that's more what I have the the issue
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with is the
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combative place of religion in our
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curriculums where it was always
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Christianity is right 100% of the time.
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All other religions are fake. And so you
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go into it with a jaded knowledge that
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all other religions are already fake.
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So, I don't really h they hold no
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authority over me. And I I don't know. I
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just think it's an interesting thing if
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you
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can teach somebody to maybe put that
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opposite thinking on temporarily to be
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like, "Okay, what would it take for me
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to actually believe this other thing?"
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Maybe that's more what I'm getting at.
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So, you could disagree with me. That's
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fine. I'm totally down for that. And
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this again is some dude on the internet
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just sharing his thoughts of what he
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would change about his homeschool
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experience. The la the last point I
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wanted to talk about was less from an
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education perspective in the traditional
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sense of like a curriculum and more from
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like an emotions and psychological
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perspective and that was I think that my
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parents could have done a better job of
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teaching me boundaries.
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My homeschooling experience
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was I'm not going to say unique. I think
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everybody's is unique. There was four of
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us that lived in that house and two of
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us were homeschooled and two of us were
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the adults. None of us I think were
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super emotionally healthy people. And so
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I don't hold anything against my
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parents. I think they did the best they
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could with what they were given. And
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what's cool is now as we've gotten older
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and we've become much more emotionally
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healthy, I think we are just in better
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places with each other to some degree or
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we understand ourselves better, maybe
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know how to communicate it better. So I
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want to kind of preface with that. But
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boundaries for me is something that is
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one of my big focuses for 2025.
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And as I've been working on it and
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learning the power of no and and things
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like that, I keep getting reminded of
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experiences from when I was a kid. And
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when I was in high school and junior
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high, one of my friends dads was just
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like a very hugging person. He was very
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like he just liked hugs. And that
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doesn't necessarily sound really bad on
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the surface, but I remember feeling
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uncomfortable hugging him. And I never
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for a long time I don't think I really
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understood why that was. And now that
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I'm maybe a little bit more emotionally
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healthy and I can kind of look back on
00:14:02
the time I realized that it was more
00:14:04
than just like hugs. He would just he
00:14:06
would hug for too long. He would always
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make comments to me and the other guys
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about like you know how strong we were
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and how he wanted to wrestle us. Maybe
00:14:15
it was a sexual thing now that I'm
00:14:16
saying this out loud. I don't really
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know. But it made me uncomfortable.
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Let's just say that. And I think I never
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I would remove myself from situations
00:14:24
sometimes to try to get away from it.
00:14:26
Didn't always escape. But I think
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looking back on it, I go, man, I wish I
00:14:31
would have just had the power to say no.
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I don't do that. I don't hug adults. You
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know, I don't feel comfortable with
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this. You know, I don't feel comfortable
00:14:38
going to this person's house. I don't
00:14:39
feel comfortable being around their dad.
00:14:41
Whatever might have been, right? But
00:14:43
there was a lack of skills and language
00:14:45
with the ability to set that boundary to
00:14:48
say, "No, this is my personal space.
00:14:49
You're invading my personal space." And
00:14:51
I feel
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uncomfortable.
00:14:55
And I think I would have probably
00:14:57
benefited from some therapy as a kid.
00:15:00
Like I said, my family was not the most
00:15:02
emotionally healthy family. I think any
00:15:04
of us would be pretty quick to tell you
00:15:06
that.
00:15:08
But as I look back and I go, man, those
00:15:12
boundaries would have been nice to have.
00:15:14
I also look back and I go, for the
00:15:16
closeness that my family has now and the
00:15:18
ability to to converse about things, my
00:15:21
my dad and I in particular, my mom and
00:15:23
I, they've been on this podcast. We've
00:15:24
talked about this before. If you're
00:15:26
interested in that, go check out those
00:15:28
interviews with them. I think they're
00:15:29
really good. But our ability to
00:15:31
communicate now, the three of us, and
00:15:34
talk about the things that were hard and
00:15:36
painful that we disliked, we have that
00:15:40
now. And I look at it and I go, man,
00:15:44
could we have done this when I was 12?
00:15:47
Uh, and so I say that not so much from a
00:15:50
place of
00:15:51
like longing to go back. It's but from a
00:15:54
place of like for those of you who are
00:15:56
where you are now and you feel that way.
00:16:00
Go do it. Go get the help because man,
00:16:04
the ability to
00:16:06
have conversations with difficult people
00:16:10
sometimes. And mom, dad, I'm not saying
00:16:12
you're difficult,
00:16:13
but the ability to to know the skills
00:16:16
that you have, to have those
00:16:17
conversations, to put words to the
00:16:19
emotions that you feel is absolutely
00:16:22
incredible and has been, I think, one of
00:16:24
the biggest game changers in my life and
00:16:25
is still growing. It's still I'm not
00:16:27
perfect at it. We're getting there. So
00:16:30
yeah, I think encouraging emotional
00:16:33
health in school would have been a
00:16:37
gamecher. I think those are the main
00:16:39
three things. One, a better
00:16:41
understanding of how our country works,
00:16:43
the government played out by actual like
00:16:46
experience going to those places, asking
00:16:48
questions of elected officials, getting
00:16:50
involved in, I don't know, town halls,
00:16:53
protests, understanding how our voting
00:16:55
system works. Number two, I think it
00:16:57
would been really cool to have
00:17:00
curriculum that expanded
00:17:03
upon the religious beliefs of others and
00:17:06
from a neutral point, not a jaded
00:17:09
one-sidedness of Christianity is always
00:17:12
right and these rest are already
00:17:14
debunked beliefs.
00:17:16
I think having that expansion of being
00:17:18
able to look at them and put those shoes
00:17:21
on, those hats on, whatever you want to
00:17:23
call it, to look through the eyes of
00:17:24
someone who believes something a little
00:17:25
bit different would have been really
00:17:26
cool. And also access to people to ask
00:17:30
questions. You know, most people are
00:17:32
very friendly. Most people want to share
00:17:33
what they believe with you. And if you
00:17:35
do it right, you can do it in a
00:17:36
non-hostile type of way and still walk
00:17:39
away being friends. And then the third
00:17:41
thing, setting boundaries for myself.
00:17:44
more than just saying no. But, you know,
00:17:46
I look at my life even today and and
00:17:48
recognize that like I struggle with the
00:17:51
clients I work with sometimes telling
00:17:52
them no and ending up working extra
00:17:55
hours for things that I don't get paid
00:17:57
enough to do, you know, and so looking
00:18:00
at that and going, man, is this a skill
00:18:03
that I could have learned back at a
00:18:06
younger age? And so emotional health and
00:18:08
learning how that plays a role in your
00:18:11
education and being the healthiest
00:18:13
version of yourself. And so yeah, those
00:18:16
are really the main three things. I know
00:18:18
it's hopefully it's not anything too
00:18:20
shocking. Thank you for listening. Thank
00:18:21
you
00:18:22
for supporting. And uh yeah, I don't
00:18:26
know. I got anything else? I don't think
00:18:27
so. Uh tune in next week. We'll have
00:18:29
another great episode. And if you stayed
00:18:31
this long, maybe think about joining my
00:18:33
newsletter. All right. Uh until next
00:18:35
time. All right. Peace.
00:18:42
[Music]
00:18:49
[Music]
