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Weird Things I Wasn’t Allowed to Do as a Homeschooler | #46

August 07, 2025 / 02:23:10

This anniversary episode of the Exhomeschoolers Club features hosts Jacob Gooden and Carrie France discussing their experiences growing up as homeschoolers. They cover topics such as media restrictions, dating, and the influence of purity culture on their upbringing.

Jacob and Carrie reflect on the media they were not allowed to consume, including popular franchises like Harry Potter, and how they felt left out compared to their peers. They discuss the differences in how their parents viewed certain media, particularly fantasy elements in stories.

The conversation shifts to dating, where they share their awkward experiences and the challenges of navigating relationships as homeschoolers. They touch on the pressure of purity culture and how it shaped their understanding of dating and relationships.

Throughout the episode, Jacob and Carrie emphasize the importance of open communication about relationships and the impact of societal expectations on their experiences. They also express a desire to connect with listeners who may have had similar experiences.

As they celebrate the podcast's anniversary, they invite listeners to share their own stories and reflections on growing up in similar environments.

TLDR

Jacob and Carrie celebrate the podcast's anniversary by discussing their homeschool experiences, media restrictions, and the challenges of dating under purity culture.

Episode

2:23:10
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Hey, hey, hey. What is good my exhies? It is your boy Jacob Gooden, and we are back for a special anniversary episode.
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A happy oneyear birthday to the Exhomeschoolers club. I can't believe it's been a year already. Uh it's
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actually technically been a few weeks, over a year, but I missed it. But it's
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okay. We're we're celebrating today. Today is the birthday party uh of the
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podcast. I can't believe it's been a year. It's been an insane year. I've
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done way more with this show. Uh all thanks to you guys. Um, so round of applause for you. Uh, but I'm I'm so
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stoked for this special episode. Uh, I brought back the OG, the the first interview of this podcast. Uh, my good
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friend, arguably my bestest homeschool friend, uh, Carrie France is back for a special episode. We're going to be
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chatting about all the things we didn't get to do as homeschoolers. Okay? All
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the things we missed out on from media, right? books and movies and uh music and
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all all kinds of pop culture stuff that we missed out on to we even chat a little bit about like dating and
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relationships uh just the things that we missed out on as homeschoolers and we kind of got to experience a little bit
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later in life. But it's so much fun. Carrie and I always have a good time. I
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hope that translates well for you guys. Before I turn it over to the past versions of ourselves, I have a favor to
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ask. And that is whatever you're listening to this on, whatever you're watching this, consuming this on, do me
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a favor. Go down in the comments, go down in the review section, leave a little happy birthday message and tell
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me not only happy birthday, but also tell me about your favorite moment of the Exometers Club. If you've been us
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with us from the day one, whether you joined along the way, whatever it's been, hit me with what has been one of
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your favorite moments of of the show, of the episodes, what a topic, a person, an
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event, anything that's been super impactful for you. I would love to hear it. Um, and I'd love to know, you know,
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what what can I bring you more of uh to to keep this thing going. So, with that,
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I'm going to turn it over to the past version of myself, to the past version
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of Carrie, and uh yeah, let's have a good time. [Music] For those of you who don't know you, I
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mean, Carrie France is one of my best homeschool friends from back in the day. She's gone on vacation with my family.
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We've spent a bunch of time at each other's houses. We went to prom together. All that stuff we talked about
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in our last episode, which was like I think the second episode of this podcast. So, if you haven't listened to
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that, go back and listen to that episode cuz it was a lot of fun. That's not what
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we're going to talk about today. So, I'm not even going to ask you like your
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homeschool journey or anything like that. We're going to just talk on like stuff we weren't allowed to do as goody
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shoe Christian homeschool kids. And uh I think it's going to be a lot of fun.
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>> Yeah, I think so, too. I'm excited to share and see if anybody else relates to
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the same sort of upbringing that we had about stuff we were allowed to do and then the stuff we weren't allowed to do.
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>> Where do we where do we even start? I feel like I mean we could go down the
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books rabbit hole or the movies rabbit hole but like I don't know I mean was
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there is there anything that comes to mind like top of mind for you when you go okay like I wasn't allowed to do that
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and then when I became an adult like I realized like why wasn't I allowed to do
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that or >> yeah I mean just I guess starting with media is one of the first topics there
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was a lot of media books TV movies that were not allowed in our house I think A big one that a lot of other
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homeschoolers can probably relate to is Harry Potter. Uh we were not allowed to watch or read Harry Potter. I did have
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some friends who were fortunate enough to be allowed to read uh the books and watch the movies and I was always
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slightly envious that they were, you know, ahead of ahead of uh am I trying to say that they were super immersed in
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the popular culture and uh but yeah, we weren't allowed to watch or read it. I
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was told that it had a lot of witchcraft and um that it just it wasn't it wasn't
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good uh things to consume. >> Same same reasoning like too much witchcraft, too much wizardry. I think
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what my parents really struggled with was that >> because like I was allowed to read Lord
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of the Rings, Chronicles of Narnia was okay. Like and that also has wizards, witches, like that has magical elements
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to it, magical beasts, things that do not exist, like very fantasy. I think the difference was that Harry Potter, it
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was like much more like on a day-by-day basis that they used it and like they use it for like
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very like little things like I'm trying to even think like like they have Well,
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I'm I'm watching the movies currently. Yeah. But like little spells like like
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they like they would do the one to like figure out like >> like to pull something to like if
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they're at the library and they're like looking for a specific book, they would
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like have a spell and they'd do it and it would come to them. as opposed to >> Right. Exactly. It was like cheat codes
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to life as opposed to like Lord of the Rings like magic does get used but it tends to be in like this much bigger
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grander scheme and same with like Chronicles of Narnia. Like it's very like it's kind of this like big grand
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scheme picture of magic. And I So I think that might have something to do with >> maybe why our parents were not okay with
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it. >> It it could be. I know. I know. For me personally, my my parents early on
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realized that I would get nightmares a lot if we watched something that had any sort of element of scary to it. Um,
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which again wasn't much. I'm trying to think of like this will out me really
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hard, but there is this they noticed that I got pretty severe nightmares when I watched this certain Sesame Street
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episode, which uh yeah, Sesame Street. You hear that and you think nightmares? How? But
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it was uh about the boy who cried wolf and whoever created the wolf puppet just it still terrifies me to this day.
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Anyways, I would get nightmares whenever we would watch that specific episode. I
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think Dennis Quaid is in it. It uh this just unlocked like a whole memory. But uh yeah, Dennis Quaid is in it and the
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wolf puppet was just very scary. Big wide eyes like and I would leave the room every time we would watch that. Um,
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and I started getting nightmares. And so I think my parents started realizing like, oh, um, nightmares,
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she'll get nightmares if we show her anything scary. Not that they had plans
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to show us scary movies ever because they don't like scary movies themselves,
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but uh, I think that they were just very careful about all the content that we watched. And the thing with Harry
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Potter, what I the sense that I got from them was that yes, it's good versus
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evil, but there's a lot of evil in those books and movies. And there's a lot of
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magic, like you said. Um, the kids are very pnicity and will use their spells to do things that I'm sure they didn't
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want us to feel inspired to do. Uh, you know, sneak around and and use the cheat
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codes essentially. I mean, unfortunately, we don't have spells, which would be awesome, but uh in real
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life, you know, applying that to our real lives, but Chronicles of Narnia, I'm I'm not I I hate to say this in
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front of all the homeschoolers watching, but I'm not as familiar with Lord of the
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Rings as I think a lot of other people are. >> We didn't watch the movies growing up.
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We read the books. My mom would read the books out loud to us, and I enjoyed them, but we were really big Chronicles
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of Narnia fans. Um, my parents are huge fans of CS Lewis. And when I compare Chronicles of Narnia and Harry Potter to
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me now, they're not they're not super different. There's a lot of magic.
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There's a lot of good versus evil. Uh, but there's there's a ton of magic and
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bad guys and like you said, witches and wizards and Chronicles of Narnia. I just
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think that because Chronicles of Narnia was based on a biblical story that there
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was more incentive for us to enjoy that versus Harry Potter. >> Yeah. I mean, you're talking about like
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Lord of the Rings, obviously very like lot of biblical references in there. Same with Chronicles of Narnia. I mean,
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CS Lewis, Gerald Tolken, historically big Christians. >> Yeah. >> Wrote stuff. Had a lot to say about
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Christianity. Like, so yeah. I mean, I get it. I get it from that perspective. I'm with you that like now like I read
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the books or I watch the movies of like Chronicles of Narnia versus Harry Potter
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and I'm like these are kind of the same thing. Like they're it's you know it's a
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little different. I think for me now having asked my parents about Harry Potter,
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their response to me has more now to do with they're like, "Well, so and so told
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us this and we trusted them and so we didn't do it. they didn't let you watch
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that or consume that. >> And what's funny is now both of them have read the books or some of the books
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and they've watched the movies and they're like, "This is one of the
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greatest stories ever." Like, it's they're like, "We love it. It's
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fantastic. It's so much fun." So, have you have you gotten your parents to
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dabble in Harry Potter? >> That's a good question. And I don't think so. I don't think they've read it.
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I don't even know if they've watched it. And this might have to be uh a part
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three episode where my parents uh give me their honest review of Harry Potter. But um no, I to be honest with you, I I
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don't think they have. Um I have, you know, as an adult read the books. I just
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recently, I think last Christmas, did a whole binge of all the movies. Um it was
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a lot. It was a long long binge, but um they're fun books. They're great. It's a
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great story. Um, there's action, there's adventure, there's romance, there's, you
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know, good versus evil. It it's it's great. And, you know, I am sad that I
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missed, you know, in its prime when Harry Potter was coming out and everybody was stoked to read the books.
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Um, because it's just it's a really magical story and I I loved it. Um, and
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so I I think my parents would like it, too. I mean, they really enjoy obviously they my dad's a huge fan of CS Lewis.
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Um, I have read some of CS Lewis's books and they are really good. He's a
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fantastic author and um, I I still love Chronicles of Narnia. I still wish they would make more
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movies. Uh, >> still hoping for, you know, >> the uh, Silver, my personal favorite
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book. And yeah, it's a great story. I think they could Hollywood could do some
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really fun things with Yeah. >> with that story. So >> I think too um
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you CS Lewis one of because a lot of people if you read the books now like we're adults we're like almost in our
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30s at this point like we like those books are they're very kitty books and like they as opposed to if you read
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Harry Potter through it's interesting because they kind of age up as you >> they do
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>> grow up with it right like you read the first book and you're like okay this is
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a kids book by the time you get to the end you're like okay this is pretty >> it's heavy it's It's written a lot
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different. It's darker. All that kind of thing. >> CS Lewis has another book series called
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It's I think it's just referred to as the Space Trilogy, and I'm blanking on
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the names of it right now, but it is it's sci-fi related. >> It Yes, we read those. God, of course,
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I'm blanking on the name as well. >> Um, it's all sci-fi in in space, I
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think. Right. >> Yeah. But it's like the story. What's interesting is the parallel in that one
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is a lot more like Garden of Eden early >> early Bible kind of a thing. But they're
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really cool stories. So even if you're not religious, like super interesting
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stories, very sci-fi, like I love sci-fi is my thing. Planet of the Apes, Star Wars, all Star Trek, like all that
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stuff. I love that stuff. So >> I'm still holding out hope that someday
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those get made into a movie. Um cuz I just think they would be really cool. And the stories are a lot more I think
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they're more mature than Chronicles of Narnia. >> Yeah. >> Again, still love that. I was also gonna
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bring up Did you ever read the Percy Jackson books? >> I didn't, but my little sister Ellia did
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>> and she was the biggest fan of those books. That and The Maze Runner. Um, I
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was more into the dystopian. Not that Percy Jackson. Well, no, Percy Jackson isn't dystopian at all. I was
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more into the like Hunger Games, Divergent. >> Um, those when those were coming out, I
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was a big fan. But Percy Jackson was my little sister's thing. She wore the what
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was it the what's the camp called that they go to? She would wear the camp shirts to like homechool classes,
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>> half blood camp or something like that. >> Yes. Half Blood. She was always making
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references to them. She I think she still has a special place in her heart for that that series because I I I never
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read it and I I' I've heard they're good. I should add that to my reading
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list. >> They're they're fantastic. If you like Greek mythology, like I loved Greek
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mythology and I think it's hilarious that my mom even really kind of let me read Greek mythology. Um I think she
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just kind of was under the impression she's like, "Well, Jacob knows this
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isn't like like a religion kind of a thing." Um, and then as I got older, I
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was like, "Oh, people like actually worshiped these gods and stuff." So
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anyway, but I loved Percy Jackson because I loved Greek mythology. I had a whole like
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>> encyclopedia set basically of Greek mythology stories. Um, and then uh yeah,
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and then Percy Jackson just like expanded on that and I was like, "Oh yeah, this is like fantastic." It's like
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what if the kids of all of these gods like had superpowers in the real world? Like it's a fantastic story.
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>> It's a great idea. It reminds me of like how kids are now feeling about
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Descendants. I don't know if you've heard of that, but like they're the kids
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of the Disney villains, I believe. >> Oh, and a lot of younger kids that I've
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um that I know or like my boyfriend's uh sisters, what are they called? My boyfriend's
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nieces and nephews. Um really like it uh descendants. And so I that kind of reminded me of what you said about Percy
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Jackson. It's just just a creative story and a cool way to educate you about
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Greek mythology, but also in a way that is fun and adventurous and that kids will understand. I think the other
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element that maybe our parents missed out on too, like this was something that when I got older, my dad did better at
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was like if there were books that he that my parents were like h kind of on the fence about like letting us read or
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movies even sometimes like he would watch or listen or read the book before me and then or with me and then we could
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talk about it >> and um yeah, like that's how that's why I read the Da Vinci Code and when I had
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him on the show we talked about that. But it was cool because that book was very controversial when we were kids cuz
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people thought it was against the Bible when in reality it's just like a fiction
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book. Really cool. Very um uh National Treasureesque to it. So, you know, if you like National Treasure,
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>> I love National Treasure. Those movies, I don't care what anyone says. Uh those
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movies are top tier and I still like will watch them to this day. Uh, but what you said about Da Vinci Code, like
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not that my parents necessarily told me this, I just kind of gathered this information on my own based on going to
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church and hearing what other people said about the Da Vinci Code. It in my brain still that's a no no book that or
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no movie or or you know, and it's so funny that you said that because I still
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have that notion of like nope, you're not allowed to read that book. You're
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not allowed to watch that movie. And I don't know anything about what it's
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about. what you just described sounds like something I would probably really enjoy, but just growing up hearing that
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that, you know, this is this is not an accurate depiction of what we believe or this is going against the Bible like you
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said. And so in my head it's like, all right, we're not even going to touch it.
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Or now as an adult, I'm like, "Oh, >> I could if it's National Treasureesque,
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I'd be down to read that." You know, >> that whole series, he has a whole
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series. I mean, there's Angels and Demons, there's uh Da Vinci Code, there's um The Lost Symbol, Inferno,
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and they're all very they I read The Lost Symbol first. That's the third book in the series. And
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um >> that one is very National Treasure coded. Like it is, but like I mean
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you're reading about the Freemasons and you're reading about all of this history
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about like US and and obviously it's fiction so some of it is a little blown
00:16:30
out of proportion but like it's very you're like I'm I'm reading Nick Cage
00:16:35
like go and steal the Declaration of Independence basically. And uh and so I read that book first and I was like I'm
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hooked. And then I realized oh the Da Vinci Code is the same character but just totally different circumstances.
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And it's I would argue it's just as good. I didn't know that about that
00:16:50
book. Again, like I hear the title and my brain just goes off as like, nope. So,
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>> I still have that, too. There's other books that I'm like, you know, be at a
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bookstore or whatever and I'm like, oh yeah, no, I know that that author's bad.
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Move on next one, you know, kind of a thing. And I'm like, it it's been interesting kind of like
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>> break out of that now and be like, no, I should just like read this. You know,
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>> what's it going to who's it going to hurt? >> It's so true. It's like you you may read
00:17:17
it and it may be, you know, depending on the genre of the book. Like I know if I
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read a super scary book, I will still as an adult get nightmares. So, I'm just
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not going to, you know, that part of me is still the same regardless. My parents
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were very right in noticing that early on is that, you know, nightmares were a big thing uh for me. I I remember us one
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time when we were kids going over to our neighbor's house and they were watching
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Jumanji the movie uh which was a movie we were not allowed to watch and I didn't know anything about it and so I
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was like all right I'll watch it like whatever. Um, and that movie, I mean, for a kid is pretty scary. And we came
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back home and my mom was very disappointed in us. And we were we were in trouble for watching that movie. And
00:18:00
I I didn't understand why cuz I I was just like, it was fine. Like I I liked
00:18:05
it. Well, that night I had pretty bad nightmares that I think were involving turning into a monkey and giant
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alligators, you know, everything that happens in that movie. And you know, I I just remember thinking kind of like, oh,
00:18:19
>> there is she does have a reason for some things or some rules that she sets.
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>> She knew that that movie was going to give me nightmares. I don't know if
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she's ever seen Jamanji herself, but she knew that that, you know, she probably
00:18:31
read reviews on that movie and realized that it was a little bit too intense for
00:18:36
someone of my age. And and that's just my experience. You know, I I had friends
00:18:40
growing up who were allowed to watch every scary movie and every R-rated movie because that's what their parents
00:18:46
watched. And that's I mean, my boyfriend, that's what he grew up in. He was seeing, you know, really scary um
00:18:54
sci-fi, every genre of movie when he was very young. >> And that's just what he knew, what he
00:19:00
grew up with. I was very different. I I do another memory that I wanted to share
00:19:05
that I thought was funny was, you know, our our parents did their best in homeschooling. I can't imagine that it
00:19:12
was easy at any point. Uh and so they were just taking it day by day, but I remember my mom bringing home a movie
00:19:20
from the library and we were learning about um World War II at the time. We were learning about the Holocaust and
00:19:26
she brought home a movie from the library. I can't remember what it was called now, but I remember as a kid just
00:19:33
having this gut feeling that I shouldn't watch it. And I remember telling her and
00:19:36
being like, "No, that I just don't think we should watch this." And she was like,
00:19:41
"Well, it's a I think it was a fiction movie. Like it obviously about the
00:19:46
Holocaust, but not about actual an actual person during the Holocaust." And
00:19:51
so we watched it and that movie gave me the most intense nightmares because of one specific scene in the movie, you
00:20:00
know, depicting someone committing suicide, you know, in order to not go to the camps. And I just remember her
00:20:08
having this realization and us talking about the movie after where she was like, "Okay, I didn't think, you know, I
00:20:14
thought this was an educational movie. I didn't think that that was going to be
00:20:18
giving you nightmares, but I should have listened to >> that intuition where I knew I knew in my
00:20:24
head. I knew in, you know, my soul, whatever. Like, >> that's not let's not watch that. And I
00:20:29
still to this day can picture that vivid image from the movie. And I have not watched that movie again. Um because
00:20:36
that one scene just gave me nightmares for a long time. And so, >> yeah, >> that helps me respect my parents and
00:20:45
their choices where, you know, now as an adult, sure, there's a lot of things
00:20:49
that I'm making up seeing like, you know, all the movies that my friends watched growing up, I've never seen. So,
00:20:56
I'm I'm watching Twilight. I'm watching Harry Potter now. You know, I'm watching
00:21:00
all the movies that we weren't allowed to. Um, but it just it helps me respect my
00:21:05
parents in that sense that, you know, they were doing the best they could. they tried to have some sort of, you
00:21:13
know, impact or or influence on the media we were consuming. And I just remember my mom
00:21:20
saying one time like, you know, you can always close your eyes because once you see something that kind of lives in your
00:21:26
brain and I never used to really believe that. And there are now I'm still seeing
00:21:30
I still see that scene and it still frightens me. I still that Sesame Street episode. I'll watch it. I I won't watch
00:21:37
it now. That's just weird. But like if it were to come up, I would probably not
00:21:41
want to watch the scene with the wolf because as a kid that traumatized me. So I do respect my parents in that sense of
00:21:48
I see the reasons why we were sheltered. I don't really understand why Harry
00:21:53
Potter was forbidden, but at the end of the day, they had their reasons. I mean,
00:21:57
my parents, same kind of deal. They made they made choices based off of the information they had, and they, you
00:22:02
know, were like, "This is a yes, no for my kid." I think what's interesting when
00:22:07
you talked about kind of being like I don't want to watch this movie and kind
00:22:10
of I'm not going to say your mom forced you to watch it but like kind of pushed
00:22:14
to watch it a little bit more >> like this will be fine I don't see your
00:22:17
problem. >> Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. Having somebody Yeah. kind of be like it's okay like
00:22:21
don't worry like it's not going to be that bad. Um, I think that that's kind
00:22:25
of an interesting thing because I've realized this is my own therapy coming out, but
00:22:31
like I there was a lot of times where maybe I wanted to put a boundary in place to be like I don't want to do this
00:22:37
thing or I don't want to be around this person or whatever and and that kind of
00:22:41
getting pushed to the side. And so I think that's something that's I'm I'm
00:22:45
learning now where it's like now I am able to make those decisions for myself
00:22:50
where I'm like I don't want to watch this or I don't want to read that book
00:22:53
or whatever. And like that's okay. Like >> even if everyone else is like this is a
00:22:57
fantastic thing. You should really enjoy it. You're going to enjoy it. Like it's
00:23:00
going to be so much fun. I don't want to. And my my my inner gut is telling me
00:23:05
no for a reason. Like I'm just going to listen and like actually just like you
00:23:09
know if I miss out on something great. Okay whatever. or like I missed out on something great, but I don't know. I
00:23:14
would rather listen to my my body telling me no than be traumatized, right? Um >> I feel that way about the most a movie
00:23:23
that just recent not just recently, within the last several years came out. I can't remember the name off the top of
00:23:28
my head, but it was very very popular for being quite uh over-the-top, scandalous. Certain scenes in that movie
00:23:36
you never see in movies before. Of course, I'm going to blank. Um, it has the the one of the leads is Barry
00:23:44
Kyogan. Sabrina Carpenters. >> Oh, are you thinking of um >> what's it called?
00:23:48
>> Oh, shoot. Um, >> but there's some pretty uh gross >> salt burn.
00:23:53
>> Salt Burn. Thank you. Yeah, I have not seen Saltburn and I know I'm not going
00:23:57
to watch it because that's some scenes that I don't have any interest in
00:24:01
seeing. Not that anyone watches it with an interest, but uh yeah, I just know that that's not
00:24:08
not going to need to live in my brain. I don't need to see it. >> And hey, that's a good I mean, that's a
00:24:13
good intuition to have. I watched it probably against my own intuition, and >> there's definitely some things in that
00:24:20
movie that I'm like, okay, that was that was a lot. But >> yeah, >> you also talked about um the the
00:24:26
nightmares and I and I it made me think of um I used to so Dary Brooks and I and and my good friend
00:24:37
Ben, we used to we do would sleepovers at Derry's house and we would stay up
00:24:41
all night watching movies. And he had there's two elements to the story. So,
00:24:45
so he had uh a DVD player that was like a Christian DVD player and you could download movies.
00:24:53
>> Yes. >> Or I'm sorry, you could download these like files from the internet and then
00:24:57
when you would watch a movie, it would skip certain scenes. >> Yeah. It was pretty amazing technology
00:25:03
at the time. You could put a DVD in and it knew what to cut out. It was It was pretty
00:25:08
amazing. I remember those. >> Yeah. So, it was cool because I got to watch a bunch of like R-rated movies and
00:25:12
we just take out like the sex scene, especially when we were in high school. Our parents were like, "You guys like
00:25:16
war stuff. We don't really care if you want to watch a bunch of war stuff. We
00:25:19
just don't want the cuss scene and we don't want uh any sex scenes. So, we
00:25:22
just take all that stuff out." >> But uh but one of the nights we spent
00:25:26
over, I watched Jurassic Park for the first time. And it was another movie that I had not been shown by my parents
00:25:34
because either because they were lazy or because they maybe they didn't like it as much
00:25:41
or I don't really think it had like I know some people don't watch it because
00:25:45
like oh well it had evolution and and you know also there's a bunch of Christians who don't believe dinosaurs
00:25:50
ever existed to begin with that kind of a thing. Anyway, so we watched it and then spent the night and I had
00:25:56
nightmares all night about dinosaurs and I could not sleep. >> I was a scary movie.
00:26:02
>> I was 15 years old having nightmares about dinosaurs. Like that's embarrassing.
00:26:07
>> No, it's not. I would have done the same thing. If I watched that movie at that
00:26:10
age, I absolutely would have had nightmares. Like I watch it now and I still jump at, you know, that movie
00:26:17
still holds up to this day. Like >> Yeah, >> it's scary. >> It is. Yeah. Um, I was gonna ask you
00:26:24
because so my parents used Focus on the Family had this thing called Plugged In back in the day. I think it still exists
00:26:30
today. >> Plugged in online. I think it still exists. I'm Yeah, I think it it does.
00:26:36
>> I did your parents use that or did you use that? they used it and then um
00:26:42
actually after they probably don't even know this but when I would I I still I
00:26:49
mean I think anybody feels uncomfortable watching a movie with sex scenes with anybody else that's not you know even
00:26:56
with your significant other I I suppose it's just kind of awkward you know >> and uh and so after like once I started
00:27:04
getting older and hanging out with friends and you know if I would go see a movie with a friend of mine in the
00:27:10
theater. I think this is also just me liking to know what I'm about to get myself into. If it was going to be a
00:27:16
movie that's going to be rated R, I was going to look it up and plugged in just
00:27:20
to see like, okay, what parts am I going to have to like see or what am I going to have to see and is it it is it going
00:27:28
to be tolerable or is this going to make me super uncomfortable and I'm not going
00:27:31
to want to watch it? Like I I did that when I would go um like on dates with people. Uh, I would just make sure that
00:27:39
we're not about to just on a first date watch a movie with, you know, a 3 minute
00:27:43
long sex scene that was just going to make us both want to die inside, you know. So, I I've definitely used it. I
00:27:50
know my parents for sure used it as well. Um, I would love to to see it as an adult at the age that I am now to see
00:27:59
because I'm sure these reviews I I'm not even I'm sure the these reviews were
00:28:04
Christianbased and so they were written from a Christian perspective. Um, so they weren't just going to tell you, you
00:28:11
know, what sex things you're going to see, what violence things you're going
00:28:14
to see, what words you're going to hear. They're going to give it to you from a
00:28:17
Christian perspective as well. Um, so yeah, my parents definitely, we didn't
00:28:22
have the DVD player that cut things out, but we they definitely utilize plugged in online. That was a we, I mean, we
00:28:27
loved Focus on the Family just as a company growing up. We listen to Adventures and Odyssey and everything.
00:28:33
So, it was it was a cool resource at the time. I'm sure it's probably helpful now
00:28:36
as well if it's you still utilized, you know, for young kids. >> No, I used to So, if people don't know
00:28:43
what it is, basically, it's online movie review. They would do a synopsis of the
00:28:47
movie and then they would list out all of the different kind of elements. So like curse words, it would tell you if
00:28:54
there was f-words in it, how many uh if there was sex scenes in it, if there was
00:28:58
violence in it. And they did this for I believe movies and video games was kind of the big ones. And maybe they got into
00:29:03
TV later. But I remember as a kid, well, and I remember as a kid even like if I wanted to go see a movie, a lot of times
00:29:10
I would look it up on Plugged In, read it, and so I even knew, is it worth me asking my parents if I can go see this
00:29:17
movie because I knew the automatic this is going to be a no. >> And so then I would just kind of know.
00:29:22
And um I'm thankful I had parents who they always let me blame them for stuff.
00:29:27
So, like I So, like if my friends were like, "Oh, we're going to go see like I
00:29:30
wasn't allowed to see Pirates of the Caribbean, >> but they would let me be like, um, oh
00:29:36
yeah, my my parents aren't going to let me see that or whatever." And even if my
00:29:38
friends were like, "Well, why aren't your parents going to you should like
00:29:40
beg them?" And I'd be like, "Oh, no. They like I could just always put it on
00:29:44
them." And even if it was stuff I just didn't want to go do, you know, they let
00:29:48
me kind of put it on them and be like, "Oh, no, like my parents said I can't or
00:29:52
you know, whatever." Yeah. Um, but yeah, Plugged In was Plugged In was cool. I
00:29:57
think it would be cool even today because yeah, sometimes you go to the movies and you're you to your point, I
00:30:02
kind of want to know what I'm getting into before getting into it. >> To me, it's the same thing as a
00:30:07
restaurant. If I'm going to a new restaurant I've never seen, I'm absolutely looking at the menu ahead of
00:30:12
time and I know what I'm going to get myself into and I know immediately if I'm going to like this restaurant or not
00:30:16
based on what they have. It's the same thing with movies. I'm not going to read
00:30:19
spoilers, obviously, but I I mean, when you're sitting in a movie theater with a
00:30:24
bunch of people, I'm I'm sorry. I don't feel like watching a super long sex
00:30:29
scene or, you know, a bunch of crazy violence that, you know, I don't know, it's just awkward. Like, we're in
00:30:35
public. We can watch this at home if we really want to watch it. And I mean, it is sad with movie theaters now nowadays
00:30:41
in modern times clearly uh um on their way out. Hopefully not, but it seems to be going that way. But, uh, yeah. Yeah.
00:30:50
I I just the idea of watching on a big screen a bunch of just uncomfortable things that I would absolutely look at
00:30:57
Plugged In and be like, "All right, what am I getting myself into?" >> You brought up uh being like a fan of
00:31:02
like The Hunger Games and Divergent and stuff. And I I was thinking about I went
00:31:07
and saw the second Hunger Games movie in the theater with youth leaders. And that
00:31:13
in that movie there is a scene where one of the um tributes like gets undressed in the elevator
00:31:20
>> and you don't see anything um but it's very heavily implied that like you know
00:31:25
what's going on kind of a thing >> and um I remember sitting there with
00:31:30
these youth leaders and being like I don't know what to do. Like I was like I
00:31:34
don't know if I should look away. I don't know if I should like look down
00:31:38
like look at them. Like are they watching me? Like that's how I felt too. I was like, "Are they staring at me?"
00:31:43
Because they're like, "Oh, like is Jacob consuming this content?" >> Um, and then also I'm like sitting there
00:31:48
going like, "Would my parents be okay with me watching this?" Like, >> yeah, just freaking out. Like, yeah, cuz
00:31:54
I mean, yeah, Hunger Games, I think that that and like >> I know in the Hunger Games, the second
00:32:00
one, there's a scene, at least in the book, where Finnick, one of the tributes, he's very flirtatious, and I'm
00:32:06
pretty sure he's like supposed to be naked or really close to naked. and that
00:32:10
reading that I remember being like, "Oh my god, am I going to have to see this
00:32:14
like in a theater because I really want to watch this movie, but I don't want to
00:32:17
watch that, you know, and I but I don't remember if that ended up translating in
00:32:21
the movie or not." But I do remember that scene in the elevator where she just that's just her character. just
00:32:27
strips down and you're like >> as a kid watching that um you know so >> I wanted to ask you too because you also
00:32:36
brought up now kind of going back and re-watching stuff or watching things you weren't allowed to watch and you said
00:32:42
Twilight and I'm married to a huge Twilight nerd and I'm not going to say
00:32:48
she's a she's not a nerd she's a fan she's a big Twilight fan but what I've
00:32:53
learned about those books that I think is so funny is Like I do do you remember everyone kind of being like they're
00:33:00
super like horny, scandalous, like love story type thing? Like do you remember that kind of being the narrative around
00:33:08
those? >> Yeah, they have a very scandalous tone to them. But uh I remember growing up,
00:33:15
my best friend growing up, she had uh Twilight Calendar because she was a huge fan of Twilight. And I think one time
00:33:24
someone in our mine group, which everyone knows we were in mine, that's that's we'll just leave it at that. Uh
00:33:30
but uh someone came over and noticed that she had that calendar and called her out on it and was like, "You have a
00:33:36
Twilight calendar? That's like really bad." And so every time she would have
00:33:40
events at her house, she she would take it down and hide it because she loved Twilight. She was allowed to watch it.
00:33:47
But that was the consensus from the whole homeschool community is that it was very scandalous. It was not okay. It
00:33:53
was it was just a bad series. And >> what I think is hilarious too is that
00:33:58
the author is Mormon and it has very Mormon undertones and Mormonism is very purity culture.
00:34:07
Save yourself to marriage. >> Like that's a big part of their religion
00:34:11
as well. And so like that comes across in the movies and in the books honestly to some degree like and I always just
00:34:20
thought that was really interesting that like >> we were so against this thing or being
00:34:25
told we were like so against this thing that kind of was okay in some regards like I don't know
00:34:33
like >> it did it was also fantasy which some people just in general didn't love but I
00:34:39
don't know it's just funny to me that I'm like now I watch And I'm like, this
00:34:42
is so tame. >> It's really tame and it's very cringe. It It's really funny to watch it now
00:34:50
because and that's the that's the unfortunate thing about not seeing these
00:34:53
movies when you're young. When you're young and obviously, you know, as years
00:34:57
progress, cinema progresses, CGI progresses. Obviously, comparing movies now to, you
00:35:04
know, when you were a kid is it's crazy how much they've moved forward just with
00:35:09
everything. But yeah, watching the Twilight movies now is like it's hard to get through if I'm being honest. like
00:35:15
and I I was never like I I kind of avoided the whole the timing when it was a huge thing like everyone was team
00:35:22
Jacob or team um Edward and I was like I don't know vampires are scary you know
00:35:28
and so now watching it it's like yeah okay >> I have no you know but that's just cuz I
00:35:34
didn't grow up with it so >> so okay so we talked a little bit about >> I mean we talked a lot I guess about
00:35:41
like the stuff we kind of weren't allowed to watch but like what were we allowed to watch. Obviously, Chronicles
00:35:46
of Narnia was like a big one. You mentioned Focus on the Family, Adventures and Odyssey was like huge at
00:35:51
my house as well. Like we listen every week on the radio. >> We did. >> We have a bunch of the CDs and
00:35:56
cassettes. Like that was >> I would I would argue that's like peak Christian media.
00:36:03
>> 100%. Oh my gosh. Like I bet if I listen to those cassettes now, I don't know how
00:36:09
I would do that, but if I if I had an opportunity to listen to those cassette cassettes, I would remember the audio
00:36:14
bits, I would remember my favorite episodes. Like those were so fun because it was like a book on tape, but they had
00:36:22
such talented voice actors and stories that it was like watching a movie, but you're not. You're just sitting there
00:36:31
listening to your boom box. It was so cool. like you could vividly I vividly imagined, you know, all of these stories
00:36:38
and all of these things taking place and it was it was just so fun. >> Yeah. You could like see who these
00:36:43
characters were, which was really cool. I mean, I think that's also what kind of
00:36:46
made us into like theater and stuff too was just the fact that like I mean that's what
00:36:53
that was. It's just radio theater and um yeah, I got to go I'm so fortunate. So,
00:36:59
Focus on the Family, their headquarters is in Colorado and Okay. They have at their headquarters, they built uh a Wits
00:37:06
End from Really from Adventures in Odyssey. Yeah. So, you can go get a milkshake and like hang out. Um and it
00:37:13
was cool. I remember it being like it's been a long time. I'm I >> I don't know what it looks like now, but
00:37:18
they have this gigantic It's not even giant. It's just a section of the the
00:37:23
place and then they have like a gigantic slide kind of like in the show and it it's just cool. It was a fun It's a fun
00:37:29
memory. >> Well, and I I always thought it was funny because I would imagine what these
00:37:33
characters looks like and I remember cuz we only I think we listened to it on the
00:37:37
radio and had the cassettes. We didn't once they started getting bigger, they
00:37:41
started providing like artwork of what the characters actually looked like. >> And I remember being like, "That's not
00:37:47
my wit. That's not Connie. I don't know who that is." But it was totally
00:37:51
different. Connie, I think her name was. It was totally different how I imagined
00:37:54
they looked. And then when they released drawings of them, I remember being like,
00:37:57
"No, that when I hear it, they they look completely different." >> Yeah. No, 100%. No. I'm like, "Uh, this
00:38:05
is not Yeah. I think that's true for like a lot of things, though. Like, you
00:38:09
read a book and then you see it like It's very rare, I feel like, that you find something where you're just like,
00:38:15
"Oh, they nailed whoever like your version of what that person looks like."
00:38:20
Um, >> yeah. I um you've had so many cool like experience like the fact that you got to
00:38:27
go to Wits End. Also, another thing I remember you did that I was super jealous of is my favorite band growing
00:38:32
up was Pure Energy and I don't know the real like homeschooled Christians would
00:38:36
probably know who they are. They do not exist anymore. They haven't existed for
00:38:40
a long time, but they were a really cool band. Christian pop like EDM. I don't
00:38:46
know if I classified it as EDM, but it was these three kids, two girls and a guy, and they just they made such cool
00:38:53
music. And you got to see them in concert. And I remember just being like incredibly jealous.
00:38:59
>> Oh, yeah. No, that was it was interesting cuz I feel like I saw them. >> I was maybe a little too old to see
00:39:06
them. I was kind of out of that era of of myself, but it was it was cool. And they were very much like um Jump Five is
00:39:15
another band that a lot of they were Jump Five was their mentors and so they were a little bit Jump Five was more
00:39:21
mainstream than I think Pure Energy was. But Pure Energy and it's not energy the
00:39:26
word. It's NRG. >> Yeah. >> And um they were cool. I mean back flips
00:39:34
on stage. They were doing back flips before Benson Boon was doing back flips, you know, like they
00:39:39
>> It's so true. It's so true. They worked their asses off. Like they they were not only
00:39:46
talented singers, they were triple threats. Like they the back flips. They're they had the Britney like
00:39:52
microphones. They were they were cool. I wanted to meet them so bad. >> You know what's so funny too is like so
00:39:58
the reason I saw them was because the church I went to my my grandparents VBS at their church, their vacation bible
00:40:05
school during the summer. And I was I'm the reason I I say I was probably too
00:40:10
old was because I was too old to go to vacation bible school. So I must have been like high school maybe like a
00:40:16
freshman or something. Um and so I was so I worked at the vacation bible school and then but this church was insane. It
00:40:25
was like one of those mega churches. So they built an entire their their theme was
00:40:30
>> um what was the theme? It was I think it was fairy tales. And so they built a
00:40:36
giant castle and they put in the zipline. Yeah. It was like the Tik Tok churches where you're like insane. They
00:40:43
put a zipline from the back of the church to the stage and they had different days. So they had Tinker Bell
00:40:48
come in one day and they had Aladdin come in on a magic carpet and they had somebody else do something. It was
00:40:53
insane. Like and they had princess princes and princesses walking around at all times like full glam, full just like
00:41:01
insanity. Um, and yeah, and then they did like a Shrek thing at the end and they it was crazy and that but yeah,
00:41:10
Pure Energy was like the the like the big Friday thing. So they like had all the parents
00:41:17
come >> and do like the kids did their, you know, vacation Bible school like dances
00:41:23
that they learn or whatever and then they had Pure Energy come out and like actually do performance. It was crazy.
00:41:29
But yeah, to your point, very Britney Spears. They all had like the the headpiece mic that came around and
00:41:34
>> the choreography was elite. Oh god, >> it was something. Yeah, >> I I was just Yeah, I I wanted to be
00:41:42
them. They were so cool. Like every time we would record with my dad in his recording studio, I I tried to get it to
00:41:49
sound like they did. Um we we have so many audio files of me and my sisters covering their songs. We would sing them
00:41:58
at our Thanksgiving in the park events. Like we were obsessed. They were >> they were the best.
00:42:05
>> We haven't even touched on like music that we were and weren't allowed to
00:42:09
listen to because I'm sure that was kind of a reality as well. Like for a long
00:42:15
time I wasn't allowed to listen to really like rock and roll or like '8s
00:42:18
pop music or anything. Like it really wasn't until >> I started taking lessons at your dad's
00:42:23
studio and your dad was like, >> "You got to let Jacob listen to anything
00:42:27
and everything cuz like he needs to know like you got to let him listen to Santana and Eric Clapton and like all
00:42:33
this stuff cuz like that's the music he likes to play." >> Um, so I don't know. Was that was music
00:42:38
a thing in your house where there was like limits to it or or was your dad pretty like kind of whatever?
00:42:44
>> Well, we listened to a lot of music period. We were always listening to
00:42:48
something at the house and if we weren't listening to it, someone was singing
00:42:51
something. I mean, I come from a very musical family, so there was a lot of worship music mainly. Um, a lot of there
00:43:00
was a lot of classical music as well. Um, my mom really liked the classical radio station and I I still enjoy it
00:43:05
even, you know, now. Um, but there was definitely always songs playing. Um, I didn't really get uh into
00:43:14
much music on my own until a little bit later, but I remember getting a serial box and inside the serial box was a
00:43:23
Backstreet Boys CD because, you know, what better way to market your music than serial boxes.
00:43:31
>> And I just remember hearing larger than life uh for the first time and I loved
00:43:36
it and I was like, this song I didn't even know what they looked like. This was before I could look it up on the
00:43:41
internet. Like we we had a computer but it had AOL dialup and I just didn't know
00:43:48
how to Google something. I don't even know if that was a thing. But I just remember loving the Backstreet Boys and
00:43:55
I used to say then because I started hearing fellow as I got older I started hearing fellow friends of mine say you
00:44:02
know InSync or Backstreet Boys and I just would always say Backstreet Boys even though I knew one song and I only
00:44:09
liked one song. I'd never heard any of their other music but I was like Backstreet Boys all the way when I feel
00:44:16
like I would have been in sync if I had heard all their music. But I digress. Um, so we I didn't really get the sense
00:44:25
that there was inappropriate music until a little bit later, but we would be I remember we would be in the car
00:44:32
listening to Kihei um, country music and Josh Turner had a song that I'm sure
00:44:40
everybody knows, but it talks it's basically talking about how he is going to have a night having sex with his
00:44:46
lover, whatever, you know, and it's a for for our family hearing it. I didn't
00:44:51
really understand what the lyrics meant. I just I was like, "Wow, that guy has a
00:44:56
really deep voice." And every time that song would come on the radio, my mom
00:45:00
would say, "Okay, we're going to switch it. We're not going to listen to this
00:45:03
song." And or or she would make some sort of comment where I was like, "Oh, I
00:45:07
guess there must be something bad in this music." But I >> I didn't really understand what sex was
00:45:13
even at that time. So, >> I was like I But I knew that that was a naughty song or a bad song. um as a kid
00:45:21
and then yeah, you know, as as I grew up, I I got exposed to a lot more music and um
00:45:29
but there wasn't anything specifically that I remember being told you can't
00:45:34
listen to. Um my mom kind of rolled her eyes at the Backstreet Boys CD, but I was still allowed to listen to it. I had
00:45:41
a similar CD. So like when I was a kid, I remember getting a pair of sneakers at
00:45:46
Famous Footwear and for whatever reason they gave us a CD with it and it was all
00:45:52
songs that had to do with like shoes or like walking. So it was like Blue Suede Shoes by Elvis Presley.
00:45:58
>> Yeah. >> And um and but there was like walking on sunshine and there were all these I mean
00:46:04
a lot of them are older but there was a few newer ones. And then I was a big fan. I wasn't allowed to watch a lot of
00:46:11
Nickelodeon as a kid, but I but Jimmy Neutron was allowed in my house. And so I had the Jimmy Neutron movie CD and
00:46:18
that was all pop songs. So there was Insync, Britney Spears. >> Okay. >> Uh I I'm trying to even remember who
00:46:25
else, but I do. So for a long time, I would say my favorite was Britney Spears. I was like Britney Spears, my
00:46:31
girl. Like let's go. Um, yeah. >> I think we we knew like we knew who the
00:46:38
popular people were, but I would just say it just to sound cool. I didn't actually listen to their music because
00:46:44
>> music unless you had it on CD. Uh, you couldn't really get it digitally or at
00:46:50
least I didn't know a way how. Um, >> no. until, you know, we would always go
00:46:54
to Barnes & Noble and when they had like a CD and a DVD selection, you could go
00:46:59
up and you could put your headphones on, you could scan the CD and listen to it in store. So, we would do family trips
00:47:06
uh to Barnes & Noble to do that for hours and just listen to whatever CDs we
00:47:11
found. Um, but yeah, I I really stuck to what I liked, which was pure energy. Um,
00:47:18
there was this band called The Rubies, which was these three girls, and they made sort of the similar pop sound, also
00:47:24
Christian. Um, a lot of there was a lot of Christian music and and just worship music that I liked and I was just
00:47:32
surrounded by. So, I didn't really know any different. A lot of musicals, too.
00:47:35
Um, we listen to a lot of, you know, old-timey musicals and a lot of, you know, Frank Sinatra and all the oldies.
00:47:44
But, >> yeah. Um, I think I didn't really realize that, you know, music could have
00:47:50
bad lyrics. Like, it didn't really translate to me. I think I I'm so thankful I had somebody at my church
00:47:58
turned me on to Eric Clapton used to do or I think he still does, but he did a uh music festival every couple of years
00:48:06
called the Crossroads Music Festival and he would have all some of like some of the best like blues and jazz guitar
00:48:12
players, rock guitar like gods basically come and play at this thing >> and he that so shout out to Tom Ramette
00:48:22
cuz he put me onto this thing And um the first one I ever watched he uh he had John Mayer come on and I was like who is
00:48:31
this guy because he was amazing. And um and so then yeah and he was super cool. And so so I got I got gifted one of his
00:48:38
albums and then um I found one of them at like the thrift store or whatever. And your body is a Wonderland was like
00:48:45
the first song that I remember being like this seems like I shouldn't be listening to it. Um,
00:48:53
>> but it was such a beautiful song that you could now >> amazing song.
00:48:56
>> It's gorgeous. I love it. >> It's It's a great song. Um, and uh,
00:49:02
yeah. So, shout out to my parents for letting me listen to that >> over and over and over. Um, yeah. Um, it
00:49:10
wasn't my favorite song on the album, though. I'm trying to remember what my
00:49:12
favorite song was off that album. But um but that led to I mean John Mayer is my
00:49:17
favorite to this day and I I know he's a jerk but I've seen him in concert. He's
00:49:22
amazing. He's so talented. Like um anyway, but uh yeah. Well, and then when we were in high school, I feel like you
00:49:30
and I both got kind of obsessed with like the cover bands. It was like it was the era of YouTube where like cover
00:49:35
songs were like the thing. Like >> Yes. I forgot about this. Wow. >> Like Charlie Puth was a cover artist
00:49:42
before he was the Charlie P. we know him as today. >> When you think about it, we liked
00:49:47
Charlie Puth before he was cool. I mean, I was such a huge fan. I still have his
00:49:52
like first albums downloaded on like my old uh Apple devices like and I I'm never getting rid of that because you
00:49:59
can't find it anywhere now. But yeah, we liked Charlie Puth before. He was cool.
00:50:03
I remember we liked Alex Goot and um Kurt Schneider, I think it was. I can't
00:50:08
believe I remember all these names, but the YouTube cover era, that was big. And
00:50:12
I I remember I would I would also sing my own covers. That was just what you did. And Christina Grimmie, rest in
00:50:18
peace. She was amazing. I loved her. Um, yeah, there were so many. And we did during group solutions. I remember we
00:50:25
really bonded over over that. Well, I mean, I think that was also like kind of our exp for me that was a lot of my
00:50:31
exposure to a lot of pop music, too, because like my parents weren't going to
00:50:36
let me listen to Pitbull, but they would let me listen to a Pitbull melody that was like more instrumental, like more
00:50:43
like an acoustic version. >> Yeah. >> And um and so like that's how I learned
00:50:47
a bunch of like Kesha songs and yeah, Pitbull and just all these songs that I would have never known otherwise. Um,
00:50:55
and then as I got older and when I wanted to go into the music industry, >> it was that was I was like, "Oh, I know
00:51:01
this song already. I just don't know this version of that song." Um, >> I know. You almost miss the like cover
00:51:08
version cuz that's the original that you knew you liked it. >> Like, >> right. Exactly. Like Kurt Schneider
00:51:13
playing some pop song on like Coke bottles or something, you know? Like it was just like weird.
00:51:18
>> Way better. >> Any Yeah. Way better than than the original. I don't know. It's funny, too,
00:51:24
cuz like that's I don't know. My my like I said, my parents were like okay with
00:51:28
that, but then like and I I won't even say they weren't okay with pop music. I
00:51:34
think they were just kind of like, >> yeah, but you like all these other artists more,
00:51:39
>> so to speak. Like it was kind of like, oh, but you really like the news boys,
00:51:43
so like listen to the news boys, you know? Um it's like a redirect in a lot of ways.
00:51:48
>> Yeah. like, okay, well, you want to listen to this pop artist, but this
00:51:52
Christian pop artist does kind of the same thing. Why don't you listen to them? Yeah. Right. And that
00:51:57
>> Yeah, that that's definitely we were surrounded by a lot of that. And um just
00:52:03
Yeah. going to VBS and then Group Solutions and everything. It was just Yeah, we were very I was very surrounded
00:52:09
by Christian music. I almost didn't really know much about pop music until much later in life, I feel like. Then I
00:52:16
discovered everything and figured out who I like. And turns out I really love Pitbull.
00:52:22
>> I'm still so jealous that you like got tickets to go see him and went and saw
00:52:25
him. And >> that was so funny. >> Terry called me and I had just gotten to
00:52:29
college and was like, hey, do you want to go see Pitbull? And I was like I just got off a [ __ ] plane. Like I was
00:52:34
like, I'm not in California anymore. I was so mad. >> So it was so random. I won them on the
00:52:40
radio and I knew I liked Pitull, but I think that cover that that concert opened my eyes because I
00:52:48
I and this was before like I knew how to do makeup. I didn't really care about
00:52:52
dressing well at all. And so I was like, I want to be comfortable. I'm going to
00:52:57
go to the Staple Center in my, you know, my hoodie and my sweatpants and no makeup and I had bright pink hair. So I
00:53:02
looked really out of place for someone at a pit bull concert. and I knew all of the words and I was rapping everything
00:53:08
and I had such a blast and I would I still want to go see him in concert again cuz I just I'm such a fan of of
00:53:16
him and his music and it's Yeah, that was that's right though. I forgot I
00:53:20
asked you and you were at college. >> Yeah. Yeah. No, I was like sitting in my
00:53:25
dorm room. I was just sad all by myself. But it's okay. It's okay. It'll happen
00:53:30
someday. Someday we'll we'll make it happen. But >> no, that's
00:53:36
I just Yeah, it's you know what's funny too is like I have now gotten my parents
00:53:42
into more op music I guess but like I don't feel like it's like a it was like that hard
00:53:49
because like when I talk to them I'm like my dad really liked you too when he
00:53:53
was in college which like even though they kind of border on a Christian band they're they're a rock band you know
00:53:59
like my mom was like Madonna and like >> they they liked '8s music. They liked
00:54:03
the pop culture '8s music. And so it's funny cuz now I can show them pop music
00:54:08
of today. And there's a good amount that they're like, "This is really fun. This
00:54:11
is a great, you know, a great song." And they're like, "Yeah." And then and then
00:54:15
I find out like they're actually like listening to it or they bought it like,
00:54:19
>> you know, >> like, "Oh, so you are hearing what I suggest." Well, yeah.
00:54:22
>> And I noticed too a lot of songs like if I happen to show my parents or or some I
00:54:28
mean that's one thing I love about my dad. He's always open to new music. And
00:54:31
so sometimes when we go to the studio, even now, he'll say, "Oh, just just play
00:54:35
for me what you've been listening to lately." And so I'll be like, "Okay, you
00:54:38
sure you're going to like it?" And >> he still listens to it and we can chat
00:54:42
about it and discuss it and >> and but it's so cool to see how they so
00:54:47
many songs are covered now, but also so many melodies or bits from songs are taken from older songs and they'll be
00:54:56
able to catch it. They'll be like, "Oh, that's not the original." and they know
00:54:59
the original from like forever ago. And so that's kind of fun, too, is you know,
00:55:03
you'd be like, "Oh, this pop song's really great." And then you hear, "Oh,
00:55:06
wait, that's not the original song." Most likely not. >> Yeah. No, I was I was super happy for a
00:55:13
while. My dad and I would do this thing where we would send each other uh an album and be like, "Hey, listen to this
00:55:18
and then let's like talk about it." And so I had sent him >> I made him listen to Chance the Rapper,
00:55:23
which I thought was pretty big, but also like >> not that hard. I mean, Chance is
00:55:28
>> Yeah. >> Christian guy. So, I was like, "Okay, you'll like this." And then
00:55:32
>> it was at the time when before before we knew that I mean, we knew that Kanye was
00:55:36
crazy, but it was before Kanye really went off the deep end. And I sent him a Kanye album and had him listen to that.
00:55:41
And it was cool. We got to like have a great conversation about it and like what did you like? What did you not
00:55:45
like? And like my dad's biggest thing is always like I don't the speed of rap is
00:55:50
too much for him. He's like, I can't get there with it. Which is understandable
00:55:55
um >> for a lot of people, but it's I mean, but it's fun because then like he would
00:56:00
send me an album and I'd be like, okay, well, I like these things about it, but
00:56:03
I don't, you know, but this sounds like everything else, you know? So, it's it
00:56:07
was cool. It's just fun to like have that conversation with somebody. I'm
00:56:10
like, >> what? Like, like you're saying, like with your dad, like show them like this
00:56:14
is what I'm listening to. What are you listening to? What are you into? You know, it's fun. It's fun to have those
00:56:19
combos. It's really cool. I One thing I know like my dad showed me this band
00:56:25
called Dirty Loops. I don't know. You must have heard of them. Maybe not. >> I love Dirty Loops. Yeah,
00:56:30
>> they're so great. They're And my dad would always make kind of make fun of
00:56:34
them because their thing is like jazz fusion. And he's like, "Okay, that's
00:56:38
that's not a new thing by any means." But it was one thing we do just together
00:56:44
is we go to the N show in in, you know, in January every year. And one year after he had showed me Dirty Loops and I
00:56:51
started really liking their music, they happened to be playing. Um, we unfortunately didn't get to catch a
00:56:56
concert, but they were doing an autograph signing and he was like, "Do you want to just meet them real quick?"
00:57:00
And I was like, "Yeah, absolutely." And so we go through the line and my dad
00:57:05
just wanted to stop and talk to them and held up the line and we just chatted with them and it was it just was a cool
00:57:12
experience cuz you know sometimes there are generational differences naturally with what your parents like and what you
00:57:19
like. But it's really cool to have that where I know he loves them and then I'll
00:57:23
be like, "Hey, did you know there's a new Dirty Loop song?" And it's really
00:57:26
cool to kind of dissect and talk about them together. So, >> it's cool too because like I mean I
00:57:32
think this whole I mean our conversation has been really centered on like media so far, but like it was it's cool now
00:57:38
that like like we were saying like there's a lot of things that maybe we weren't allowed to listen to or watch or
00:57:43
read as kids that like now as adults we kind of can kind of put like we can show
00:57:49
it to our parents and they're like, "Oh, this is actually like pretty cool." You
00:57:52
know, or I don't know. I think there's less of a um our parents were so concerned with
00:57:59
protecting us as kids and then like now we're adults. We're obviously we've been
00:58:04
adults for a while at this point. Um and so I think some of those walls of the needing to protect us from everything
00:58:11
bad have come down a little bit. And so we're able to like hopefully expose them
00:58:16
to some things that were like, "Hey, this is actually really cool and I think
00:58:18
you would like this." Um and it's not something they traditionally would have
00:58:22
gone for, you know? >> Right. Yeah. No, that's really it's it's
00:58:25
awesome to to be able to see that and, you know, like to open their eyes to some stuff that maybe, you know, at one
00:58:33
time they thought they wouldn't have allowed us to watch or read, but oh, it's actually kind of cool. Like I said,
00:58:41
I really hope to I I really will have to ask my parents to see if they have even
00:58:46
watched Harry Potter or read it. But uh that'll be fun to in my opinion the books are a lot better. So I think it
00:58:52
would be fun to get them to read it. >> Well, and your mom always surprised me
00:58:55
because I remember cuz like I said earlier like I was really into sci-fi and I remember watching Tron for the
00:59:01
first time and your mom was like I worked on that movie and I was like what? And then her and I having this
00:59:06
whole conversation about like our love for sci-fi >> and um and she was like yeah I worked on
00:59:11
this movie and like we helped with this and I remember going to the theater to watch this movie and I was like what the
00:59:16
hell? I was like, Barb France is [ __ ] awesome. Like >> she really does throw out those random
00:59:22
facts be like, "Oh yeah, you know, I casually like met Hugh Jackman before he
00:59:27
was famous." Or like, you know, she has all these great stories, but yeah, she
00:59:31
she was in film production. So the fact that she worked on like the original Tron is just awesome.
00:59:38
>> Yeah, exactly. So yeah, as a huge Tron fan. Yeah, that was like one of the
00:59:44
coolest things ever. Okay, I do I want to pivot the conversation just a little bit back to stuff that's maybe not
00:59:50
media, but like >> other things we weren't allowed to do as homeschoolers.
00:59:55
>> And I know for me, it's not so much that I wasn't 100% allowed to do this, but it
01:00:03
was highly discouraged. And I feel like in general, our friend group was highly discouraged was dating. Yeah,
01:00:09
>> that was interesting because when I got to college and I started to realize that
01:00:14
everyone else there had been like in relationships before, had kissed people, had like all these
01:00:22
things. I was like, "Wait, these people are not like your siblings?" Like, I
01:00:27
don't know. I don't know. Like, does that make sense? Like, >> no, it absolutely does. I
01:00:34
I I was thinking because you're homeschooled for one, so you're at home all the time and people assume that you
01:00:41
don't have friends. That's absolutely not true. But to go off of that, the
01:00:48
group that we were homeschooled in, you're right. A lot of thing we acted like siblings, you know, they were your
01:00:55
brother or your sister in Christ. they there was no um encouragement or really any push to date. Um you know I I
01:01:05
remember kind of asking my mom at a young age like about dating but I don't think I even knew what dating was myself
01:01:13
at that point. I to me it was just well you know I guess eventually during puberty like I started realizing you
01:01:23
know oh you just find someone and you get married there there was there was no like
01:01:31
there was really no explanation or or talk about what dating was or that it would be okay to you know have a few
01:01:39
boyfriends or or partners before you find the one in my mind. It was always like, well, you know, I'll I'll get a
01:01:47
purity ring and stay celibate until I get married and and whoever my boyfriend is will probably be my husband. Like,
01:01:54
there was no um real talk about like casual dating. Uh and and like you said, a lot of I didn't really like a lot of,
01:02:04
you know, romantically, I didn't really like a lot of the people I hung out with
01:02:07
in our homeschool group. They were always just good friends. I was really good friends with, you know, you and and
01:02:13
other guys, but it was never any sort of like, oh, I could see myself, you know,
01:02:20
marrying this person someday. And it was like, no, that was kind of like, ew, that'll happen to me later, you know, in
01:02:30
um, sure, I had crushes, but deep down I knew that was never going to turn into anything. It was way too high to would
01:02:39
to obtain it for me. I could just have the crush and that was going to be kind of where it lived and died, you know,
01:02:45
and was never going to have the confidence to ask a guy for his number or I didn't even know how to do any of
01:02:52
that. It was really hard to just talk to guys in general. >> Yeah, exactly. I mean, I think it was
01:02:57
like weird, too, because we had these like like I said, like we said, there was like we were very much like, oh, it's
01:03:05
like your siblings, right? Like, you know, like it's like like car's your
01:03:09
sister kind of a thing. So, it's like it would be weird to like look at you in
01:03:13
any other light besides that and like other people kind of same deal. Like >> I'm like, oh yeah, it'd be very weird to
01:03:20
like date this person even though maybe I like find them attractive or whatever,
01:03:24
but like I also like you, I also had that kind of that mindset of like, well, I'm going to date
01:03:29
somebody and then that's like I better be pretty sure because that's the
01:03:32
forever partner kind of a thing. >> I also had my parents kind of knew that
01:03:37
I probably was going to go away to college and so my dad had asked me like to not really date in high school and I
01:03:44
think his logic behind that was less on a like purity culture level. I don't
01:03:50
know. Maybe I guess I'll have to ask him about this, but he had a high school
01:03:54
girlfriend and he still was with her when he went to college and that was like I think kind of an issue for him
01:04:00
and it was difficult to do long distance and and all those types of things. So I
01:04:04
think he to in his own sense he was trying to like protect me from like I just don't want you to like have that
01:04:10
same issue because like going to college is already it's hard enough to make
01:04:14
friends in college but then you're also you don't want to be that person who's
01:04:17
like oh I got to call my girlfriend every night and like it takes you away from the opportunity to go hang out with
01:04:23
people >> and so I think he had this kind of like protection of like just wait like you'll
01:04:28
maybe meet somebody in college or like after college or whatever but it made dating really weird because like you, I
01:04:34
had no clue what the hell I was doing. I was like, I know I'm supposed to maybe
01:04:38
ask somebody out, but like >> how do I do that? And then also, how do I do that in a way that's like I'm not
01:04:44
asking them out as like friends, like cuz that was I mean >> I hung out with so many of you guys like
01:04:50
in high school and stuff and it was always just like, "Oh, let's go get
01:04:53
coffee or whatever." And I I didn't ever think of it as like weird. It was very
01:04:56
much just like two friends getting coffee. >> It was never weird. Like there were
01:05:01
people that I had at different levels that I was like, "Oh, that's crush status." So if they
01:05:07
were ask that was going to be different than, >> you know, like you said, let's just go
01:05:16
to the movies like all together. Let's just, you know, go on vacation. Let's
01:05:19
just like whatever we would do. We were always so close with each other that it felt very I was like, "Oh, they're
01:05:26
they're just my brothers." Like except those two guys, right? Though guy those
01:05:30
guys are on, you know, higher pedestal. If they were to ask me out, totally different. Wouldn't have known what to
01:05:36
do. Yeah. But and in fact, they did not out. But >> like I don't know. We were still fig
01:05:43
figuring out myself like let alone >> Yeah. >> dating another person like I didn't know
01:05:48
myself at all. I was very awkward and didn't know how to function and and didn't know what was happening with my
01:05:55
body and the changes and why am I feeling these feelings and you know struggles with like you know porn and
01:06:02
everything like that. Like I was dealing with all of that on my own. Like it wasn't I I knew I wanted to date and I
01:06:09
knew I wanted to be married but that always just felt like it was you know way farther away.
01:06:16
>> Oh yeah. No, I I feel that because I think to your point like I think we were
01:06:20
left a lot with this kind of like unknown when it comes to like we weren't t sex wasn't talked about,
01:06:29
relationships weren't talked about a whole lot like and that kind of a thing.
01:06:32
So I think it was just also this like unknown of like what does what does any of that even look like in
01:06:42
>> a good way so to speak because like >> and like how do you >> I think for me I think the biggest thing
01:06:50
was I was like I don't know how to like appropriately take it to a level that's
01:06:55
not friendship and like >> I was like is it like when does it become that because I was like I don't
01:07:02
necessarily It wasn't I didn't think it was like kissing. Like I mean obviously
01:07:05
that's a part of dating typically in a romantic relationship but like I was like I don't think you just immediately
01:07:11
go there. Like I was like I think there's like this friendship plus level of like hanging out with somebody. And I
01:07:18
was like I don't know how to clarify that that's where I wanted to be with
01:07:23
people. And so like I was even thinking about the fact that like cuz we went to prom together. I remember you calling me
01:07:28
and being like hey you want to go to prom? And then this like disclaimer of like but like we're just friends because
01:07:35
it's like there's this there's this thing that's like well okay you're
01:07:38
asking me to prom like what does that is there subtext to that right is there something additional and it's like
01:07:44
>> you know I didn't know you and I did the same thing the next year clarify
01:07:48
>> yeah exactly well and I did I did the same thing the next year when I asked
01:07:52
Julia to go to prom. It was like, "Do you want to go to prom?" But like also this like additional like,
01:07:58
"But we're just friends. Like I just like want to go with somebody."
01:08:02
Um, >> and I think that was like >> it's weird because I don't like I talk
01:08:08
to other people about their prom experience and they're like they there wasn't a disclaimer on it and even if
01:08:12
they were just friends like >> and I'm like that's such an interesting
01:08:16
thing that like we kind of had to add this little extra hint of something on there to be like
01:08:23
>> yeah but >> it's not like the movies. It's not like >> we had to have the disclaimer because we
01:08:30
were at least I was like watched like I it was I mean not that anything was going to happen by any means but it was
01:08:37
like I didn't want anyone to think friends, family, other chaperons or adults. I didn't want them to think that
01:08:44
it was anything more than just friends. And for right obviously for homeschooling for our group to have a
01:08:50
prom where it was okay to invite and go with you know guy girl instead of just everyone showing up like the normal
01:08:58
dances. I think that put a lot of pressure especially on me being like okay well you're my good friend. you you
01:09:06
would be the best person to do this with, but I'm not asking you out to say,
01:09:13
you know, maybe we can be in a relationship, like anything like that. It was just like, "By the way, we're
01:09:18
just friends." So, we get it out, you know, all clear from the get-go because
01:09:23
there's going to be a lot of people there, and I don't want people to assume
01:09:26
that we're >> all of a sudden because people will talk and and I was very concerned that, you
01:09:31
know, what if my parents find out and think that it was something other than just friendship, you know, and I was
01:09:37
just very concerned with because the parents watched and they watched at the dances. they, you know, had an eye on
01:09:46
everything and and >> the the dances like no one showed up together, >> but if you showed up with someone else
01:09:53
who was not your family, people saw and people commented on it. And so I felt like I was just very careful because I
01:10:00
didn't want any rumors to get out. Not that that rumor would be bad by any means, but I was still just like so
01:10:09
worried about getting in trouble. I feel like it was like having parents but like having like a billion parents
01:10:18
watching you and that's an exaggeration obviously but like everybody's parents
01:10:22
are kind of like watching. So like I remember um I used to hang out east and Aventura a lot and I would hang out with
01:10:30
with some girls and we would go get coffee, go get ice cream, whatever. >> We just hang out. No big deal. Whatever.
01:10:38
So we but we would always end up at this one Starbucks and one of the homeschool
01:10:43
moms just so happened ran into me multiple times with different girls and then made it a thing of like going and
01:10:50
telling somebody and being like is it basically is Jacob like getting around kind of a thing like
01:10:56
>> and I was just like I'm hanging out with friends like and I'm also allowed to
01:11:00
hang out with friends of the opposite sex and my parents trust me that nothing's happening kind of a deal and
01:11:07
their parents trust them that nothing's happening. I will never forget uh the f
01:11:13
the first time I got like left alone with a girl that was uh I'm trying to remember. I'm trying to remember exactly
01:11:19
what happened, but like uh I spent a lot of time at the Bozart's house. Love that
01:11:24
family to death, but like I remember getting left alone at their house with one of their girls and like and being
01:11:30
like, "Whoa, this is weird." Like how? And it the reality is it wasn't weird.
01:11:37
It was the fact that it felt weird because it was like, well, what if someone finds out that we were like
01:11:43
alone together? And it's like, yeah, >> then nothing. It's a nothing burger.
01:11:47
Like, we're just friends. But like >> I there's this weird kind of level of
01:11:53
like because we didn't talk about it in in our groups of like it's okay to do these
01:11:59
things in the purity culture play in there of like you know there there's this kind of uncomfortable sense that
01:12:07
like you're doing something wrong even though you're not doing anything wrong.
01:12:11
>> Well, I always Yeah, exactly. I always found myself wondering, but like I'm not
01:12:17
thinking this about this person, but what if they're having thoughts about me
01:12:20
that I don't know? Like we've never talked about this. >> And it's like, okay, then they're
01:12:24
sinning, but am I sinning as well? Because I'm in the room alone. What if? What could happen? And then my mind
01:12:30
would just spiral. And it was like, you know, obviously first worry was that people would find out, but like second
01:12:36
worry was like, what if they like me? What if they, you know, they want to try something? What if I'm not ready for it?
01:12:42
what if I want to try something like and I didn't know it was such a cluster of
01:12:47
thoughts that I just it was I didn't know like I just didn't know what to do
01:12:54
in that situation and yeah that absolutely I mean it's frightening es then and when you
01:13:01
don't talk about it ahead of time like you're going to start to feel these
01:13:04
feelings for people or you know your your mind's going to go weird places it's and that's normal. Um, yeah, would
01:13:12
have been nice to kind of know that. >> Yeah, I agree with you. I think that
01:13:16
kind of if maybe our parents had given us that context of like, hey, it's gonna
01:13:21
like you're going to feel this way. It's going to it's normal. It's okay. Like,
01:13:25
and talked about the difference between like like a crush and infatuation as compared to like, okay, here's like
01:13:32
actually what maybe more of a relationship would look like and those types of things. Because like
01:13:38
>> even today, I still like I mean, we're over a decade out of this thing at this point, and I still look
01:13:44
back and I'm like, there are times when I look at it and I go, "What? Well, how
01:13:48
did this person feel about the situation?" Cuz like, >> yeah. Oh, yeah.
01:13:52
>> Would things be different? And I mean, that's a big like would and like I'm not
01:13:55
trying to like look back and be like regretful of any of it, but it's like it's just one of those things where I'm
01:13:59
like it's such an interesting I don't know, maybe I think way too much about it and it's like too much
01:14:05
experience. >> I I absolutely do. I mean uh there were I was trying to think of how to say that
01:14:13
without dropping anyone's names. It's not going to be able I was going to talk
01:14:16
about importance of being earnest and there's >> that was a time that's for sure.
01:14:22
>> No. Yeah, that was a time. I'll just leave it at that. Um but I mean yeah
01:14:27
that was a good example but >> I mean I think theater in general it was like kind of weird because we started to
01:14:34
there was like this there was definitely a shift there became a shift I think in
01:14:39
the theater where it was like as we got older we wanted to start doing less >> plays and more like adult
01:14:49
>> themes and things like that which involve romance and kissing on stage.
01:14:53
Well, how do you do that in a way that's like whatever and you know protective of
01:14:59
people and all those things? And so we all learned like stage kissing and like all these types of things.
01:15:04
>> And it's like well that's really weird when you also don't have like
01:15:10
any type of sexual outlet so to speak. Like I think that's the thing that I think that's the the part that made it
01:15:17
weird. >> It was kind of a like you're we're in puberty. we're in like sexual peakness,
01:15:23
so to speak. Like it's just rampant at that point. Hormones are crazy. But like, so you're dealing with that and
01:15:29
then you're put in this in a lot of scenarios where like it's basically like
01:15:34
parents making you feel like like this is not like not sexual, like you shouldn't be feeling sexual,
01:15:42
but then you're putting these scenarios like theater where it's like, okay, but
01:15:45
you have to like fake kiss someone or you have to hold hands with people or you have to do anything. And so even if
01:15:49
you're not necessarily like even if you just have a crush on that person, you're
01:15:53
like >> I'm freaking out inside. >> Yeah. Yeah. I remember feeling the exact
01:15:59
same way. I was in a show. I will not disclose what show, but I was in a show uh where I had to be in love with
01:16:06
someone. And the person who was playing opposite of me, I didn't think any feelings for at all before that. like
01:16:17
not a thought, was a cool person, but that was about it. By the end of that show, I had such a raging crush on this
01:16:24
person because you have to be put in these situations that I had never been put in before
01:16:32
>> and like I have to hold hands with this person. I have to touch this person's
01:16:36
chest. I was like really weird about that because I I didn't grow up with brothers. I I don't know how to put
01:16:43
that. And but like the male species was just so foreign to me. I didn't know
01:16:49
anything about them. And now I have to be super close with one and act like I'm
01:16:56
in love with them and sing a song where I'm in love with them and you know the
01:17:00
fake kiss and you have to hold their hand. It was just it was so funny how convinced I was that oh this is reality.
01:17:09
This is how you fall in love is I have a crush on this person now. And then the show ends and you go about your life and
01:17:17
you never see that person like >> right >> aside from random times and I just
01:17:21
remember being so confused because I was like wait this this felt like what love
01:17:28
was like this this felt so fun and so good and I didn't even like this person
01:17:33
but now I do but it's because of you know in theater you have to act and I couldn't dist like I couldn't separate
01:17:41
that from reality to me it felt reality >> and like you said, you know, the fake
01:17:46
kissing, you have to be married to this person. I mean, and some of the the shows that we were in had some very
01:17:53
adult themes and they would either just let's brush past it or let's change the
01:17:58
words or, you know, but the reality was still the same. We were all very curious
01:18:02
and we were all I feel like we just didn't know anything like we were I was just so
01:18:10
clueless and >> Yeah. Yeah, I just I remember that the second you said theater was like, oh
01:18:16
yeah, it was a fun situation and then all of a sudden you have to, oh, I'm acting like I'm in love with this
01:18:23
person. Maybe I am in love with them, you know? >> Yeah. Experienced it before and and I
01:18:29
wanted that feeling again, but I I didn't know how to go about getting that,
01:18:33
>> right? >> Because I Yeah. No experience. >> I think it was weird. Like I'm even
01:18:37
trying to think of like did we know anybody who dated? I'm trying to even remember. Like I just don't it just
01:18:43
really was like nothing. >> Everybody had crushes on people and everybody oh it was all about who likes
01:18:51
likes someone. You know you can like them but if you like them like like them like them. It was a big deal.
01:18:58
>> But no one did anything about it. I I you know I just had crushes and I would
01:19:03
try to talk to that person would fail miserably. I'd write journal entries about that person. I would write little
01:19:09
fake letters to that person. Like everyone in their mother knew I liked that person but didn't do anything past
01:19:16
that. And I don't know anyone who succeeded at doing that. And I don't know anybody who really
01:19:24
talked about like, hey, it's okay to ask someone out or it's okay to, you know,
01:19:30
go on a date with this person. Like I don't feel like anyone really did that.
01:19:33
And I didn't didn't know anyone >> who had girlfriends really or boyfriend. Like nobody I knew
01:19:42
dated anyone. It was all just like fiery crushes that no one said anything about.
01:19:48
I think that's also what made it even more awkward in in the long run was the
01:19:52
fact that then like >> you don't want to be the first person to like break ground on that, you know, cuz
01:20:01
then like you're going to just be bombarded with people always asking questions and like I don't know about
01:20:08
you, but like also like I know that like there was kind of also this push for like an additional like the purity
01:20:18
culture stuff, this like courtship thing and like you know having parents be very
01:20:23
involved and other people be very involved in your relationship and like very much giving it to God and like it's
01:20:30
very it's like a community activity so to speak and then like >> so weird to think about it now like
01:20:40
yeah because in the Bible and and the books that I read it was always about courtship and like you
01:20:47
having family involved and there was no sense of privacy if you went that route. And I remember being
01:20:54
conflicted because it was like, >> but this this is my thing. Like I remember when my mom found out who my
01:21:01
big crush was >> and I got punished because not for having a crush, but because I was so
01:21:07
intense with it. I was making other people uncomfortable because I just didn't know what to do or how to handle
01:21:11
the crush. And I remember feeling awful because I was punished for having a crush, which was a natural feeling. But
01:21:17
I wasn't coached on how to deal with those feelings or encourage like if you
01:21:23
really like this person, there's ways to tell that person between you and that
01:21:29
person. You know, you don't have to have your family involved. And and it's such
01:21:33
a weird thing to think about now, the idea of courtship and having people involved because it's
01:21:39
>> there was no sense of privacy and it was Yeah, that was just normal. And when you
01:21:45
get out of that, it's like whoa. Like, like you said, it was a community event
01:21:50
if someone had a boyfriend or a girlfriend, which is feels very uh old timey. >> When I got to college, it was very
01:22:00
interesting because like I I knew that I was like available to date at that point, but I I didn't know what to do.
01:22:10
So, I was very like I took way too long to get to the point of like asking someone out because I was
01:22:16
just like I didn't know what to do. Like and I don't know how I didn't feel like
01:22:20
I knew how to maybe like I said go from like friend to like friend plus where it's like I want this to be a little bit
01:22:26
more serious but like I'm not like let's go make out kind of a thing. Like I just
01:22:30
kind of want it to be like >> like a little bit more intention where I'm like I I like you like you. Um, and
01:22:36
you know, so maybe can we spend more like alone time together and get to know each other better? And so it was really
01:22:43
weird because like my first kind of like dating so to speak, like was a semi-lind
01:22:50
state where like she asked her friend to like set up a date with me and I didn't
01:22:55
know this girl at all. So like basically like showed up, we did the thing and I was like but I kind of go into it with
01:23:01
this understanding that like she obviously finds me attractive. she wants to hang out with me
01:23:06
>> in a romantic sense. Okay. So, that took that out of my mind. So, I was kind of
01:23:11
like fortunate because I was like, "Okay, I already have the answer to the question of like, do you like me?" Like,
01:23:18
and and it was fun. We had a great time and then like we would spend time with friends and like do some alone stuff and
01:23:24
we had a good group of friends and like it was very >> normal. But because I didn't have any
01:23:31
training, I fell really hard for this person. And then they didn't feel the same way and I was like,
01:23:37
>> "Okay, what do I like with all of that?" And it like kind of destroyed me and it
01:23:41
was >> yeah, it was like very weird and put me in a really big funk. But like
01:23:48
like looking back on it, I'm like I don't know that I would change anything
01:23:50
about it aside from I now know that I'm like okay like I committed really hard
01:23:57
to this thing that was it was it should have just been very casual and just like
01:24:02
we're getting to know each other on like that friend plus level >> kind of a thing. So when I ended up
01:24:08
dating my wife, it was interesting because like we were friends first. Well, we were enemies first. enemies to
01:24:15
friends to lovers. Um, >> but when we we were friends and so a lot we spent a lot of time with other people
01:24:22
and then and then it started being like just the two of us and then it was like oh okay and I took forever to get to the
01:24:31
point where I was like oh I think I like like you like you kind of a thing >> and
01:24:37
>> that was I mean when I asked her out I'm sure it came off sounding so awkward
01:24:42
because I was like I want to like take you out as Like, >> yeah, >> more than friends. Like, I think I did
01:24:48
the opposite of like the prom thing where we're like, "But we're just
01:24:50
friends." Like, I think I did the opposite where I was like, "I want to go
01:24:52
do this thing." And she's like, "Yeah, let's go do it." I'm like, "Okay, but
01:24:55
like just to clarify, like more than friends, like like um crash and burn. How do I say
01:25:04
this? I'm just gonna go for it." >> Yeah. Exactly. So, I think I like went
01:25:07
the opposite way with it where I was just like, "Okay, now instead of clarifying,
01:25:12
you know, we're just friends. I need to clarify like no, like >> I want to pay I want this to be
01:25:18
romantic." Um, >> yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. Which I mean, hey, it worked out.
01:25:22
So, you know, it's okay. But >> yeah, I was going to say you're good.
01:25:27
But >> yeah, but it was like a very weird because she doesn't have the I think the
01:25:33
dating hang-ups that like I had where I was just kind of like I because even in our relationship it's like I didn't know
01:25:39
how to progress through the different like levels of a relationship to get to marriage even. And like I think that was
01:25:49
just a very >> I had competing things in my brain where I was like >> am I in it fully with this person of
01:25:57
like >> like I feel romantic towards them but like I was not sure if they were like
01:26:02
the one >> you know and so like I think there's it it was weird. It was very strange cuz
01:26:07
like like we mentioned earlier there was kind of this like once you start dating
01:26:11
somebody >> that should be the person like you made you made your choice. >> Yeah.
01:26:16
>> Yeah. There was no there was no gray area for anything. And it was, you know,
01:26:22
once we started getting older, we saw people get together and get married very fast. And I knew I didn't want that, but
01:26:30
I also knew, well, but I have to pick the right one because that's going to be
01:26:34
my husband. Like, I can't, you know, there's no other option. And when I started going to college and
01:26:43
started seeing the rest of the world didn't do things that way, it was very scary and it made me like not want to
01:26:51
take part in that. Um, and then, you know, I I got my first boyfriend at 23 and um, still had no idea what I was
01:27:02
doing. Um, that was a whole roller coaster of a relationship that I don't have to get into, but essentially
01:27:09
I knew pretty fairly pretty early on that he wasn't going to be my future husband. But I didn't know
01:27:17
how to break it off or I didn't know how to just be casual and and I didn't feel
01:27:24
okay with just casual dating because >> you you can't just casually date someone
01:27:29
and then you know go along and then eventually break up like no it has to be forever. And so that caused me to spiral
01:27:37
severely when I we ended that relationship. And then I I dove deep into a lot of unhealthy relationships
01:27:45
and expected, like how you said, I fell really hard for those people really fast. And my brain didn't know
01:27:56
that that that I was falling so hard for these people and that I was so upset when they
01:28:02
would ghost me or cut me off because it was like, wait, that's not what's
01:28:07
supposed to happen. And then it was just this repetitive cycle of like it kept happening and then it was like this is
01:28:15
not what I thought was going to happen with my life. I was supposed to find the one. I was supposed to find the one. I
01:28:20
put it all on myself and then it was it's hard when you fall so hard for someone because and I didn't know
01:28:27
better. I was like, well, this is the person fall hard, get broken up with. Oh, wait. I guess that wasn't the
01:28:32
person. Do it again. You know, instead of just >> stepping back and allowing myself to
01:28:38
just be friends with people and realizing that it it does kind of just happen when you're not looking for it.
01:28:45
Like I tried so hard to find the one and when I did it happened when I was least
01:28:51
expecting it which I think is hilarious and >> we were just friends >> and I didn't know how to you know I had
01:28:58
learned from other relationships that you know >> I had decided that guys wanted sex and
01:29:03
if they wanted that that's what was going to happen and and so that just I did that pattern repeatedly and when I
01:29:12
met my now boyfriend I was like okay That's that's probably all you want,
01:29:17
right? And then it was like, wait, you're a genuine person. Wait, we're really good friends. Wait, we just spent
01:29:23
a week talking every single day. Like, and there was we couldn't even think about hugging each other because it was
01:29:32
awkward. Like, it just was different. And And that's really just I feel like
01:29:36
that's how it happens. It happens when you're least expecting it. And growing
01:29:40
up so unaware of what happened during dating caused me to kind of I don't know
01:29:49
just have these expectations for each person that I dated that they were going to be
01:29:55
my future husband. And when they didn't meet those expectations it was just that
01:29:59
repetitive cycle which sucked and was really you know hard because then you meet that non-toxic relationship and you
01:30:06
almost sabotage it yourself because You're used to toxicity. >> Well, and the the thing about like
01:30:13
building a relationship, I mean, Maddie and I were together. We got together I was 19. We got married when I was 22.
01:30:19
So, we were together for 3 years. 20 about to be 29. So, I mean, there we go. Another seven years. But like, we went
01:30:27
through so many things as a couple before we were ever even like broaching the topic of marriage of like the her
01:30:35
taking care of me. I had surgery. she took care of me. Um, my grandma died. She was there. She was part of that. She
01:30:42
was like supportive. And so, like all of these things that I think I was under the impression that
01:30:50
they were like these were things that, yeah, happened with a significant other, but like more in the context of like
01:30:56
marriage where they would support you for that kind of thing. And and so when I started to see that
01:31:01
like, okay, somebody could be those things for me or just be there to support me in times like that, I was
01:31:08
like, okay, like this feels a lot more solid. Like it felt it was different. It really solidified to me that like our
01:31:17
relationship was more than friendship, but it was Yeah. And it was on the way to to marriage. And so I think one of
01:31:27
the things that you brought up that I think was really interesting is like your mindset of like guys are just in it
01:31:32
for sex. And and I would agree that a lot of guys I think are >> kind of that's what we're told all like
01:31:40
growing up is like guys that's all we can think about every however many seconds or whatever you know we think
01:31:47
about sex. And I think that it's kind of it's been so baked into society
01:31:55
that that's the reality for men when the reality is like we also want a lot of
01:32:01
other things. Like sex is a component of a romantic relationship that we of course I think everybody should want
01:32:07
that. It's very normal. That's human. That's human. >> Um but like there's a lot more to it.
01:32:14
And I think I think a lot of guys get robbed of that because they're not told
01:32:19
like what else they should be like looking for like the emotional component of a
01:32:26
relationship. And so you end up with like guys that are really crummy because they don't like
01:32:32
>> they don't know how to give a partner like the the emotional side of
01:32:37
themselves because they're just it's all physical. Um or what they've been told
01:32:40
is just like it's physicality. And so, >> yeah, >> hopefully we can get to a point where
01:32:46
it's like we can kind of start to balance the two a little bit more where it's like, you know, everyone has this
01:32:52
ability to tap into like the the the feminine and the masculine energy for lack of better terms, but like
01:32:58
>> like we have the ability to tap into both sides of those for for ourselves
01:33:03
and and that's okay. Like emotional dudes, like that's okay. And like I've
01:33:09
met your boyfriend. He's super cool and very open and like the way he talks about life. I'm like this
01:33:15
>> he seems like a much more well-rounded person than like a lot of dudes.
01:33:20
>> And yeah, and that's that's what caught my attention is that he wasn't like
01:33:24
other dudes or at least dudes that I had, you know, guys that I had been with in the past. And it was like and he said
01:33:30
early on it was like you know he he like you said the he did have that mindset of
01:33:37
like sure sex is a part of a relationship whether you have that before after marriage depends on the
01:33:43
person but like the biggest thing for him was personality and he really fell in love with my personality and who I
01:33:50
was and I was able to do that as well and like you said go through all of I mean we're not married yet and we plan
01:33:57
on it but we're we're not married yet and we've gone through so much together
01:34:01
as a couple and you have to in my opinion in order to build that relationship and like you said you
01:34:08
realize that oh like we went through like hell and back and we did it together like if you're in it for that
01:34:16
>> yeah exactly I think that there's kind of this I mean we know a lot of pe I
01:34:21
mean I would even argue I got married really young 22 is very young to get married but
01:34:26
>> um But like we know a lot of people who got married pretty young, sometimes
01:34:31
teenagers. Um, and like it's interesting because like sometimes there's not that
01:34:39
there's not that built out like relationship aspect of like >> Yeah. >> I don't know. Like it could still
01:34:45
happen. Like that's not to say it can't happen, but I I'm trying to think of how
01:34:49
what I'm trying to say here, but like >> I know for me, I needed the 3 years that
01:34:54
it took to figure out that like, oh, this is more this is what I'm looking for, so to speak. Like I just needed the
01:35:02
time to do that and >> like so just everyone works on their own schedule and that's okay. And like, you
01:35:08
know, >> yeah, if you know, you know, and if you want to, you know, if you want to get
01:35:12
married, that's right away. That's that's your call. I I think just you and
01:35:16
I are very similar in the fact that like I need to know that like that's the
01:35:21
person and I mean I've known for a while but also yeah there's just I think society puts a
01:35:28
lot of timelines on things like oh well you're not married by two years in dating
01:35:33
>> he's he's just dragging his feet or he just doesn't actually want to marry you
01:35:37
this that and the other >> sure for some cases that could be just not in the case for me I know that you
01:35:43
know if I asked him to he proposed, you know, on the minute, but uh we we've established that we have
01:35:50
that soulmate connection. So, it's almost like I know that's going to happen, but I'm
01:35:57
in no rush. I have friends who have been together 10 plus years and they've, you
01:36:00
know, they're basically married, but they haven't actually gotten that step.
01:36:05
And that's okay, too. Like, there's a different timeline for different people.
01:36:08
And it's it's hard when people in society just assume that, you know, well, yeah, what are you doing if you're
01:36:15
not married by x amount of years? Like, >> I've reframed it a lot. I've had to
01:36:19
reframe it. And obviously, if for people who listen and you know this, Carrie, like I I deconstructed religion, not a
01:36:25
Christian anymore. Like I don't subscribe to a lot of biblical anything. Like I just don't like I'm like I you
01:36:32
don't need marriage to be in a happy relationship. You don't like that's not
01:36:35
the end all beall. you don't live in sin if you're not married kind of a thing.
01:36:38
Like that's my stance on a lot of stuff. But also what I realized even before I
01:36:43
left religion was that like my biblical understanding of what marriage was has nothing to do with our societal
01:36:52
understanding of what marriage was. It was a commitment that like Maddie and I had decided we were like we are each
01:36:58
other's person and we're going to we're we're in it for the long haul. And that
01:37:03
was something we shared that was our connection, our emotional, spiritual, >> physical connection. And so like that
01:37:10
was enough commitment where I was like, I'm good. Like I don't need >> I don't need a paper that says that I'm
01:37:16
legally married. I don't need >> a blessing from anybody else's parents.
01:37:20
I just that was enough of a connection for us. And so like >> that that was good enough. Now like I
01:37:29
also wanted to do we wanted to do the the full commitment of like also >> to say full commitment but like we also
01:37:35
wanted to do the like the license and the marriage all that stuff like okay cool
01:37:39
>> the le yeah the legal aspect of it but like >> you know but if we had decided not to do
01:37:44
that it's like >> I I think I'd be okay with that too. >> Yeah. The theme I keep seeing come up in
01:37:52
your podcast and just in conversations with people is the theme about purity culture and dating and what dating was
01:37:58
like or the concept of dating I should say, not even dating and how it had effects on us as adults. And I think
01:38:05
that's important to talk about and and bring to light because again I'm not
01:38:11
going to blame anything on the fact that I was homeschooled. It I am my own person whether I was homeschooled or
01:38:17
whether I've been to public school. I'll never know how different I would have
01:38:21
been had I gone to public school. But um I know that a lot of the morals and things that were taught to me uh
01:38:30
influenced me and some were for good and some caused quite a uh quite a rabbit hole of all sorts of fun stuff.
01:38:41
>> Yeah. >> That even means >> stuff we got to Yeah. We're still
01:38:45
working through people. We're still >> still working through it. >> And that's life. for you know on our
01:38:49
journeys which is like I think is is good. I think the thing that I have come to realize the most and why like I talk
01:38:58
about purity culture so much on this podcast. One because like I'm dealing with my own [ __ ] from that. But two,
01:39:05
because like I also still see it even though a lot of people have recognized the negative effects of it
01:39:11
and have spoken up about it and even people within like churches that I went to who are still part of those churches
01:39:17
speaking up and being against it, I still see a lot of the effects of that in place for a lot of people. And
01:39:25
>> and so that's why like I constantly am talking about just like talk about these
01:39:30
things and like I even see older generations of people who like I think the reason that a like our parents
01:39:36
didn't talk to us maybe so much about sex or relationships or anything like that was sometimes because like I don't
01:39:42
even know that they knew what like what that looked like. And so even though they were in committed marriages, like
01:39:51
they struggled, I think, with understanding maybe how to communicate what that looked like.
01:39:59
>> And >> I'm sure that was hard. I couldn't imagine having to do that. Like,
01:40:04
>> and you and you probably worry about too like you don't want to give your kid
01:40:08
like the green light to just like do whatever you want. Like it doesn't matter, you know? Like, but there's
01:40:15
there's I was I was talking to um I mean, I've had them on the show, Stephanie Boy and
01:40:23
and Dr. Chz Levby. They've been on the show before, but like one of the things
01:40:27
that I I talked to them a lot about was the fact that they're like >> um
01:40:34
when we weren't given the tools that we needed, we sought them out other places.
01:40:39
So, like for instance, if my parents have talked to me about sex, what what am I going to what am I going to get on
01:40:45
Google and search? I'm going to want to know what this is, right? I've heard
01:40:48
this term before. I kind of get it. What am I going to look up? And even if I'm
01:40:52
looking up something that should be wholesome, I'm probably going to end up on a porn website and that's going to
01:40:57
skew my version of sex. It's going to it's it has this impact of like setting
01:41:03
my pallet for like what is normal sexual relations and in the same way with like
01:41:10
just even the romantic relationship of understanding what dating looks like and the expectations to have on a partner
01:41:15
and all those things. If if my parents aren't talking to me about those things
01:41:18
and giving me an understanding, I'm going to go to media. I'm going to go to
01:41:22
other places to look for those. Well, is that a healthy place to go for those? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. And so it
01:41:30
creates these skewed versions in our brain of like what is >> real and what is fantasy and that takes
01:41:37
a long time to un unc un kind of uh program those things out of our brain. >> Absolutely. I I share such similar
01:41:47
experiences with that of having to unlearn what I think is real or what I think >> right
01:41:54
>> is is you know I don't I don't know how else to put it but it's when you're not
01:42:03
talking about it and sharing about it or or sharing you know experiences or or you know just being open about these
01:42:13
things. You're you're going to get curious as a teenager and you're going
01:42:17
to look other places. And you know, granted, when I was younger, we didn't have as much access to the internet, but
01:42:23
there are ways. And now I I get super nervous for teenagers in this day and age because technology is everywhere and
01:42:30
porn is everywhere and and it's so easily accessible. It's in the movies.
01:42:35
It's in TV shows. And you know, it's it's not doing a good job of showing you
01:42:41
what reality is. And and I'm not saying, you know, that my parents could have
01:42:47
gone into a deep dive about what exactly sex is and this, that, and the other, cuz that obviously at the time would
01:42:53
have been a mortifying conversation to have with them. But the fact that I just didn't know how anything worked and it
01:43:00
was this taboo surrounding our our community. um I saw it other places, right? >> And and my brain thought that that's
01:43:13
what reality was. And then I learned real quick that that's not reality. And
01:43:16
that, you know, and like you said, then the deconstructing and the unlearning began. But the the overall theme that I
01:43:24
see from a lot of your episodes is is just talk about things. Be open or or or give your kids an open, safe place to
01:43:37
talk about their feelings and and these things and and anticipate that that's
01:43:43
going to come up. And I I know it's not easy. I I can't imagine being a parent
01:43:46
myself and having to figure out that conversation. And it can't have been hard for my parents because, you know,
01:43:53
back in their day, you just didn't talk about those things either. You didn't
01:43:56
talk about emotions and and and mental health just wasn't as much of a thing. I
01:44:01
mean, it was a thing, but it wasn't talked about then. And so, the way I I think about it is like if I wanted to
01:44:07
learn to cook, like either my mom was going to teach me how to learn to cook or I was going to watch the Food
01:44:12
Network, right? And like now the Food Network is a great example of the fact that like I can actually learn a
01:44:18
valuable skill, you know, watching Rachel Ray or Pauline or whoever else uh is on there now. But like
01:44:25
>> so but my mom also wasn't it it was something that like if I wanted to learn
01:44:29
how to cook whatever and my mom didn't know how to cook that, she could be like, "Oh, go turn on Food Network and
01:44:35
you'll figure it out. Go search it up on the internet and you can find it."
01:44:38
>> Yeah. >> And like there are lots of tools. So, even for people who don't know how to
01:44:43
talk about relationships, sex, like any of that kind of stuff, mental health, that's another great example too of like
01:44:49
if you don't know how to talk about that as a parent or just even like someone
01:44:52
our age, it's like >> go seek out resources that are actually helpful because they exist and like I
01:44:59
have learned so much from actually like seeking out worthwhile resources >> and
01:45:06
the like and there are plenty of things out there that also will help you then know how to communicate that to somebody
01:45:12
else, right? And so I think that's been like a huge and therapy can be huge for
01:45:17
people too, like learning the skills to communicate, but like >> that I don't know like that's the way
01:45:22
I've kind of reframed it in my brain is I'm like if I wanted to learn to cook, I
01:45:26
would go like seek out the knowledge to learn how to cook, right? And so if I want to know about sex or I want to know
01:45:30
about relationships, I should do the same. The difference is that like well this is true with kid cooking too.
01:45:36
There's a lot of bad advice out there. You got to like figure out what the good
01:45:39
stuff is. And so for someone who's like coming up and and a kid specifically,
01:45:44
like being able to point them in a direction that's like, hey, here's actually like really good advice as
01:45:50
opposed to as opposed to bad advice, you know, and and so >> anyway, no, this has been this has been
01:45:57
good. Yeah, we kind of went all over the place like you said. >> Um, >> it just happens. I mean, it it really
01:46:04
you make it so easy to just talk freely and that's what makes you such a good
01:46:09
podcast. episodes and we can cover a lot of topics. We have learned that we can go and it can go anywhere and it it's
01:46:15
great >> wherever it went and you know if you're listening and you can resonate with any
01:46:19
of this obviously please share because we really hope we're not alone and I know we're not alone. This podcast can
01:46:26
tell you that you're not alone. >> We're Yeah, Carrie, we are not alone. Um
01:46:31
and we are not alone. We are not the alone generation either. That's the thing. like they haven't now had
01:46:36
conversations with people who you know were homeschooled kids the 70s ' 80s and
01:46:39
'9s like holy [ __ ] like we are we are not alone in a lot of this thinking and
01:46:44
even now having conversations with homeschool kids that graduated in like 2020 like
01:46:50
>> and they're still going through the same thing. It's like that's that's wild to
01:46:53
me. So you know we're very much not alone um in a lot of this. So, I mean, for anybody who's listening or watching,
01:47:00
whatever, is there stuff you weren't allowed to do? Like, stuff you weren't
01:47:04
allowed to watch, listen to, read, dating. Was there other stuff you weren't allowed to do? Like, I want to
01:47:09
know. Drop it in the comments. Drop it, you know, shoot me an email, exhib. Uh, but yeah, I mean, Carrie, if there's
01:47:22
nothing else, I mean, this has been fantastic. I knew part two would be wonderful with you anyways, but
01:47:28
>> Oh, thank you. Yeah. No, I I just I just hope that I can share openly and
01:47:33
honestly my experience and if it helps even just one person not feel alone or resonate with any of this, that makes my
01:47:40
day. And you know, um, just I thank you for creating a safe platform to talk about it and to bring to light a lot of
01:47:50
things that Sorry, my cat. Bring to light a lot of things that um, you know, we went
01:47:56
through growing up homeschooled. >> Well, you made me not feel alone. So that you know, there you go. You're one
01:48:03
person. >> Yeah. >> But I'm sure there will be more. So like I said, thank you again. Thank you for
01:48:10
coming on the show and coming back. Coming back for part two. I'm sure there
01:48:14
will be a part three somewhere in the future. So, and probably not a year from now.
01:48:20
>> Yeah. Yeah. We'll make sure. >> We'll make sure. Yeah. So, anyway, thank
01:48:25
you once again and to all the wonderful listeners, watchers, consumers of this podcast, thank you for sticking around.
01:48:32
Hopefully, you stuck around this long. I mean, we're almost at two hours at this
01:48:34
point, and I know it's it's going to be trimmed down just a little bit, but you
01:48:37
get the real raw conversation. So, uh, hopefully you enjoyed it as well. And if you did, do all of the internet things
01:48:43
that you know how to do. Like, subscribe, share it with a friend, leave a comment, all all of this stuff. You
01:48:47
know what to do, okay? We are 2025. We have had the internet for long enough at this point. You know what to do. So,
01:48:53
please just do it. Um, and uh, yeah, until I see you next. All right. Peace. [Music]
01:49:11
[Music]

Episode Highlights

  • Engaging the Audience
    Jacob invites listeners to share their favorite moments from the podcast.
    “I would love to hear what has been one of your favorite moments of the show.”
    @ 01m 42s
    August 07, 2025
  • Nightmares from Movies
    A childhood experience of nightmares stemming from watching a movie.
    “I had pretty bad nightmares that I think were involving turning into a monkey and giant alligators.”
    @ 18m 05s
    August 07, 2025
  • Respecting Parents' Choices
    Understanding the reasons behind parental restrictions on movie watching.
    “It helps me respect my parents and their choices.”
    @ 20m 41s
    August 07, 2025
  • Plugged In Resource
    Discussing a resource for understanding movie content before watching.
    “Plugged In was cool. I think it would be cool even today.”
    @ 29m 57s
    August 07, 2025
  • Pure Energy Concert Memories
    A nostalgic recount of seeing the band Pure Energy in concert, highlighting their impressive performances.
    “I wanted to meet them so bad!”
    @ 39m 54s
    August 07, 2025
  • Connecting Through Music
    A heartfelt discussion about sharing music with parents and discovering new favorites together.
    “It’s fun to have those combos.”
    @ 56m 19s
    August 07, 2025
  • Navigating Dating as Homeschoolers
    A candid conversation about the challenges of dating and relationships in a homeschool environment.
    “I was like, "Wait, these people are not like your siblings?"”
    @ 01h 00m 24s
    August 07, 2025
  • Navigating Crushes and Confusion
    The conversation dives into the complexities of teenage crushes and the societal pressures surrounding them.
    “It's a nothing burger. We're just friends.”
    @ 01h 11m 45s
    August 07, 2025
  • Theater and Awkward Romance
    Participants reflect on how theater experiences shaped their understanding of romance and relationships.
    “I remember feeling the exact same way.”
    @ 01h 15m 56s
    August 07, 2025
  • The Cycle of Expectations
    Dating can create unrealistic expectations for future relationships, leading to disappointment.
    “It was just that repetitive cycle which sucked and was really hard.”
    @ 01h 29m 59s
    August 07, 2025
  • Reframing Marriage
    Marriage is not the only validation of a relationship; commitment can exist without it.
    “I don’t need a paper that says that I’m legally married.”
    @ 01h 37m 16s
    August 07, 2025
  • Seeking Knowledge
    Learning about relationships and sex should be proactive, just like any other skill.
    “If I wanted to know about sex or I want to know about relationships, I should do the same.”
    @ 01h 45m 29s
    August 07, 2025

Episode Quotes

  • I’m still holding out hope that someday those get made into a movie.
    Weird Things I Wasn’t Allowed to Do as a Homeschooler | #46
  • I could just always put it on them.
    Weird Things I Wasn’t Allowed to Do as a Homeschooler | #46
  • I wanted to meet them so bad!
    Weird Things I Wasn’t Allowed to Do as a Homeschooler | #46
  • I was very awkward and didn’t know how to function.
    Weird Things I Wasn’t Allowed to Do as a Homeschooler | #46
  • I remember being so confused because I was like wait, this felt like love.
    Weird Things I Wasn’t Allowed to Do as a Homeschooler | #46
  • I don’t need a paper that says that I’m legally married.
    Weird Things I Wasn’t Allowed to Do as a Homeschooler | #46

Key Moments

  • Childhood Nightmares18:05
  • Music Connections54:47
  • Unexpected Love1:29:40
  • Supportive Relationships1:30:42
  • Reframing Commitment1:37:16
  • Purity Culture Discussion1:38:00
  • Learning About Relationships1:45:20
  • Sign-off1:48:56

Tension Over Time

Words per Minute Over Time

Vibes Breakdown