00:00:00
you two are bad friends who are these
00:00:02
two idiots
00:00:03
white dude i'm an asian dude you two
00:00:07
are disgusting oh you two or something
00:00:10
we're bad
00:00:11
friends hey who went to joshua tree
00:00:15
did you have a fun time oh my god you
00:00:17
know it's like in the movies
00:00:19
you know there's uh a bunch of [ __ ]
00:00:21
cars ramming into each other in the
00:00:23
desert
00:00:24
white dude bald white dudes with [ __ ]
00:00:26
chrome
00:00:28
oh yeah yeah yeah joshua
00:00:31
tree man oh no it's out there you do
00:00:33
some mushrooms man yeah yeah
00:00:34
and then there's um a lot of dirty
00:00:37
whites out there a lot of dirty whites
00:00:39
yeah that's what goes to the desert
00:00:40
dirty whites i love it i like the desert
00:00:41
man it's
00:00:42
it's uh there's nothing to do that's
00:00:45
number one
00:00:45
no there's so much to do well there you
00:00:48
could look at rock formations
00:00:49
you could go you could go hiking rock
00:00:51
formations you could go swimming i can
00:00:52
go hiking here
00:00:53
where in uh like the hollywood
00:00:57
the hollywood hills yeah but you won't i
00:01:00
would i've never
00:01:00
i know that's my point yeah i have never
00:01:03
at least if you didn't i didn't go
00:01:04
hiking
00:01:04
there as well i know but what i do love
00:01:07
about it it's
00:01:08
alone time with me and my family so it's
00:01:10
not alone at all
00:01:12
it's completely alone it's like the most
00:01:14
alone i've ever felt
00:01:15
and you're with six other people well i
00:01:18
have to i'm there with the old man raj
00:01:20
you were there with all then raj
00:01:22
kalila's mama and papa
00:01:26
i went with uh do they like you it's
00:01:29
like is not the word
00:01:30
i would use it's um they tolerate
00:01:33
love they love you you are loved because
00:01:36
i'm
00:01:37
i'm a special one yeah you're a special
00:01:40
i'm a giver oh really you're shaking
00:01:41
your head i'm not
00:01:43
who won chiki-cha what's chiki chow is
00:01:46
that like a filipino carnage asian
00:01:48
who won chika-cha i took second and one
00:01:50
tournament roger
00:01:52
i took second in that tournament and
00:01:54
then who who won the four man
00:01:55
chikicha you yeah do you know why what's
00:01:58
the song
00:02:02
and chicago for the mind my friend i'm
00:02:06
gonna win the battle of the brain
00:02:11
a cheeky job yeah pick up your card
00:02:14
check it out
00:02:14
yeah yeah so we did that what else did
00:02:17
we do i saw
00:02:18
the family went hiking and you didn't go
00:02:20
i heard and you brought your hiking
00:02:21
boots
00:02:22
well no i bro somebody bought me brand
00:02:25
new hiking boots
00:02:26
that have never been worn who bought
00:02:27
them kala yeah why you say somebody
00:02:30
[Laughter]
00:02:32
like it's a mystery who else would get
00:02:34
you hiking boots sometimes i get hiking
00:02:36
boots underneath my pillow from the
00:02:38
magical ferry
00:02:39
so they all went hiking you did not
00:02:41
would you did you sleep when they were
00:02:42
hiking
00:02:46
for the brain yeah in the mind of the
00:02:49
brain
00:02:49
the first the first iteration is mine
00:02:52
yeah
00:02:52
um did you enjoy the nature did you soak
00:02:54
it up bob i've been there before
00:02:56
what we also did was um we have some
00:02:58
hippie friends out there
00:03:00
shane d yeah yeah yeah
00:03:05
burning woman burning woman and uh she
00:03:08
has a
00:03:09
boyfriend his name is
00:03:16
linus
00:03:23
[Laughter]
00:03:26
if i've never met a guy named linus is
00:03:27
linus the stinky one
00:03:29
yes the one that has
00:03:34
and linus owns a coffee shop
00:03:37
slash pizza place slash cbd
00:03:40
emporium yeah so we opened it up
00:03:42
necklace maker slash
00:03:45
311 uh international disc burner
00:03:48
yeah yeah i know this guy i know linus
00:03:50
yeah
00:03:51
and linus opened up his coffee shop
00:03:54
pizza he made pizza for us it was fun
00:03:56
that's awesome did you make pizza no oh
00:03:59
would he let you make hand make pizza or
00:04:01
no oh no no i don't know how what's his
00:04:03
shop called should we shout it out i
00:04:05
don't know linus
00:04:06
i'll go to linus's pizza and coffee
00:04:08
coffee yeah linus pizza coffee
00:04:11
yeah there was a you know there's a show
00:04:13
called i like it's called
00:04:14
body bazaar no i don't know it
00:04:18
body bazaar is a very interesting show
00:04:20
it has every episode has
00:04:22
three very unique physical conditions or
00:04:25
abnormalities or deformities this is
00:04:28
where the the thing came from that you
00:04:29
taught me about
00:04:30
what this is where that crazy deformed
00:04:32
disease person came from
00:04:33
a different one
00:04:37
not progeria the other one that you
00:04:38
showed me uh
00:04:41
the one where it's like pre-pose that's
00:04:44
it
00:04:47
which one you you you showed me a
00:04:49
picture of someone on the internet do
00:04:50
you remember yeah that one that's
00:04:52
called uh harlequin harlow harley quinn
00:04:54
harlequin ichi
00:04:57
there is somebody with harlequin in it
00:04:59
but there's other diff
00:05:00
crazy ones where um they have ones where
00:05:05
they have a skin disorder
00:05:08
they do they have a skin disorder where
00:05:10
um
00:05:11
you know they they're born with um no
00:05:14
skin
00:05:15
what do you oh i've seen that yeah it's
00:05:17
it's almost like you can see their veins
00:05:19
and you can see the inner workings
00:05:20
yeah they're translucent yeah i saw this
00:05:22
one where um
00:05:24
the mother in the mornings have to wrap
00:05:27
you know his son
00:05:28
like as like a mummy before he goes out
00:05:30
before he goes to school
00:05:32
like a mummy and then at night he has to
00:05:35
take a
00:05:36
three-hour bath to take the bandages off
00:05:40
and every layer it takes off and he
00:05:43
screams because it fuses to his skin
00:05:44
yeah and he has to live like that
00:05:47
every [ __ ] day don't you feel lucky
00:05:51
yeah i want it you want it yeah i do
00:05:54
want it
00:05:54
do you see my freckly freckly i got more
00:05:56
sun yesterday and you know what my
00:05:58
babysitter used to do
00:05:59
my mexican babysitter she used to take
00:06:02
me on the roof when she was
00:06:03
tanning what was her name lisa
00:06:07
mexican alvarez oh there we go she'd
00:06:10
take me on the roof
00:06:11
and um she hated my freckles and she
00:06:14
would make fun of me
00:06:15
and she says freckles are ugly and i and
00:06:18
i got self-conscious you know what she
00:06:19
used to do
00:06:20
she just put lemon juice on my freckles
00:06:22
to see if they'd go away yeah
00:06:24
she tried to burn them off my body yeah
00:06:26
freckles are
00:06:27
are ugly why why not
00:06:31
what's ugly about it it it gives me a
00:06:33
little bit of style it just for me
00:06:35
um i just don't i used to date a girl
00:06:39
with freckles
00:06:40
yeah yeah and i used to like when she
00:06:42
was sleeping at night
00:06:44
i'd connect the dots yeah
00:06:55
yeah it's just a freaky little thing
00:06:58
that
00:06:58
humans have it gives me texture you can
00:07:01
call that
00:07:02
in the same way in the same way that
00:07:04
your skin tone is
00:07:06
is yellow it has a yellow undertone
00:07:07
there's no yellow it's so funny
00:07:09
you know what you do have yellow i'm i
00:07:11
have a red red or orange i'm red and
00:07:13
orange undertone you have yellow
00:07:15
underneath
00:07:15
if this was let me ask you something if
00:07:18
you pulled out a crayon
00:07:19
with my skin this it wouldn't say yellow
00:07:22
yeah
00:07:23
it wouldn't say yellow on the thing
00:07:25
you'd be closer to yellow than you would
00:07:27
any other color in the
00:07:28
brown no you're not brown oh my god
00:07:30
you're [ __ ] ridiculous
00:07:32
you have an undertone of yellow skins
00:07:34
have have undertones
00:07:36
look it up i have an undertone of
00:07:38
reddish and orange
00:07:39
so what does julia rudy bad rudy what
00:07:42
does she have
00:07:42
understood undertone um uh
00:07:46
taupe it's a taupe color it's like a
00:07:48
it's like a yeah
00:07:50
poop yeah yeah
00:07:53
so i have undertale well does my you met
00:07:55
my brother he has it too
00:07:57
he's a deeper he's his yellow is deeper
00:07:59
than yours deeper yellow
00:08:01
it's almost burnt yellow burnt yellow
00:08:04
isn't that a yellow
00:08:05
yeah sun crisp sun crisp yeah yeah
00:08:09
he uh it's uh he's he's like a heat
00:08:11
miser yellow like it's
00:08:12
it's really intense but it's it's the
00:08:14
depth of you know how the middle of a
00:08:16
fire the hottest part of a fire
00:08:18
you know what i mean it's like d it's
00:08:19
like guttural and deep yeah it's deep
00:08:22
your red is um very deep as well i know
00:08:26
this well it's more orange i think i'm
00:08:28
more orange beyond my hair
00:08:30
yeah it's like um my tone is orange
00:08:33
it's like the color of you know how a
00:08:36
dog's dick comes out
00:08:38
the lipstick yeah the lipstick part yeah
00:08:40
yeah like this
00:08:41
you take that yeah and you you chop that
00:08:44
part out
00:08:45
if i was gonna make your collar i would
00:08:47
chop that part out
00:08:49
yeah and then i would probably take a
00:08:51
really
00:08:52
strawberry starburst yeah yeah smash
00:08:55
that
00:08:56
right grind it together yeah and then i
00:08:58
would take um
00:09:01
just a big steamy pile of [ __ ]
00:09:04
you know and that's the my color yeah
00:09:06
yeah here's what you are yeah what
00:09:08
you're a uh i'll take a couple of glass
00:09:11
noodles
00:09:12
yeah and i mesh the glass noodles
00:09:14
together with your urine but urine
00:09:16
dehydrated urine
00:09:17
hot bright yellow dehydrated i didn't
00:09:19
drink water for a week urine yeah okay
00:09:22
then i mix that around for a while then
00:09:24
i take fingernail clippings
00:09:25
okay fingernail clippings mash that
00:09:28
together inside of there
00:09:29
a couple of a couple of the butts of
00:09:31
cigarettes a couple of cigarette butts
00:09:33
for texture and and and uh absorbency
00:09:36
yeah smash that together yeah and that's
00:09:39
you
00:09:40
ah you know what i would do for you
00:09:41
you're a noodle cigarette butt toenail
00:09:43
yeah that's your
00:09:44
if that would that would be your scent
00:09:46
that would be your scent if someone said
00:09:47
what does bobby smell like i go
00:09:49
noodle cigarette butt toenail what is
00:09:52
mine
00:09:53
dog you sink you think i'm a dog dick no
00:09:56
yours is um if you took like
00:10:00
a fat karen okay you know in the park
00:10:03
a meredith any yeah no a karen's
00:10:05
complaining but a meredith is the fat
00:10:07
cat yeah yeah yeah i'm meredith
00:10:08
yes and she's complaining right but she
00:10:11
happens to have a yeast infection
00:10:13
right and i tackle that little meredith
00:10:15
down right
00:10:16
and i you know put a hazmat suit on
00:10:18
whatever because i don't like meredith
00:10:20
meredith the smell down there right and
00:10:23
i would shave off
00:10:24
you know what i mean bits of that yeast
00:10:26
yeah stick it in one of those like
00:10:28
those little you know in asia we would
00:10:31
we crunch like nuts and stuff in a
00:10:33
little medicine bowl that's right yeah
00:10:35
i'll stick that in there right
00:10:37
and i was sneaking in the white house
00:10:38
right what are you doing in the white
00:10:40
house
00:10:41
to get trump i need trump [ __ ]
00:10:44
okay yeah and i would take i had lunch
00:10:47
with him yesterday no you didn't
00:10:49
and that would take the tears the taint
00:10:51
hairs of trump
00:10:52
yeah because it's redder than most yeah
00:10:55
and it's also
00:10:55
mixed in with like lies yeah and deceit
00:10:59
yeah yeah i'll clip that out yeah stick
00:11:01
it in with the meredith ease
00:11:03
right and then i would take that um
00:11:06
what's that animal in chicago the
00:11:09
grizzly animal
00:11:11
in chicago your mom
00:11:19
it's funny that grizzly animal it's
00:11:24
don't don't talk about my mother well
00:11:26
it's just a joke
00:11:28
relax yeah my mother's very pretty she's
00:11:30
a beautiful woman unlike your cross-eyed
00:11:32
mother
00:11:33
don't you you don't have to [ __ ] get
00:11:36
i'm not bobby mudder
00:11:37
i'm i'm bobby mom you're so [ __ ] mean
00:11:41
dude
00:11:43
that's your skin color anyway um your
00:11:44
mom you know what your mom looks like
00:11:46
what your mom looks like you know when
00:11:47
kids dress up as old people
00:11:49
yeah and they're that's what your mom
00:11:51
looks like a kid
00:11:52
that's wearing a mask you know kids are
00:11:55
dressing up like old people to buy booze
00:11:56
with
00:11:57
uh during covid this is a real thing
00:12:00
young teenagers
00:12:01
will put on a ton of like makeup in like
00:12:04
a bonnet
00:12:04
and they wear the mask because it covers
00:12:06
up the majority of their face and their
00:12:07
hair yeah and they wear old people
00:12:08
clothes they're going to thrift stores
00:12:10
and they're getting canes and they're
00:12:11
walking in they're buying booze they're
00:12:13
[ __ ] geniuses
00:12:14
they caught a bunch of teenagers doing
00:12:15
it just the other day wow how smart
00:12:19
when you because i haven't been to a
00:12:21
store since the pandemic i know
00:12:23
do you have to like how do you if i give
00:12:26
them a credit card and they go
00:12:28
um id please nobody asks for id they
00:12:30
don't i swear to god i have mine
00:12:32
but i don't get asked for id when i buy
00:12:33
booze or anything anyway anymore but
00:12:35
i've i've never seen them
00:12:37
but now everyone does apple pay you know
00:12:39
you have this really
00:12:41
weird like um because you know sometimes
00:12:43
when i look at you
00:12:44
i think to myself here's a really good
00:12:47
bro
00:12:48
a guy that i could be ch
00:12:52
pals with come around you know i mean
00:12:54
it's almost as if
00:12:55
you and i are two children that really
00:12:57
didn't grow up with each other but we've
00:12:59
it's almost as if a couple neighborhoods
00:13:01
away i've no i've known you for all my
00:13:03
life
00:13:04
yeah and that we we've been doing this
00:13:07
from the dawn of time yeah being
00:13:08
reincarnated and doing it again and
00:13:11
again
00:13:11
right but then sometimes i feel like i
00:13:14
don't know you at all
00:13:15
and that you are an evil piece of
00:13:17
garbage human
00:13:19
and i just don't want to be there with
00:13:22
you
00:13:23
where i want to be is with the chummy
00:13:26
you know
00:13:26
whimsical when we're having fun having
00:13:29
fun but that's only like that's only
00:13:30
when you want to have it the parental
00:13:32
you know oh you don't like to be told
00:13:33
what to do you're disappointed
00:13:36
you got mad at me because i didn't
00:13:37
[ __ ] play video games because i just
00:13:39
couldn't admit
00:13:40
the truth yeah which is i [ __ ] don't
00:13:42
want to play video games with a group of
00:13:43
people
00:13:44
i don't i don't it's fine i don't want
00:13:47
to play with a bunch of strangers
00:13:48
if you said let's sit in a room and play
00:13:50
super nintendo together i'd probably be
00:13:51
here for 10 hours
00:13:52
but instead i don't want to be online
00:13:55
you don't have
00:13:56
number one we we don't have to stream it
00:13:59
it's on the internet
00:13:59
i've seen it all i've no know i know you
00:14:02
my brother doesn't like when people
00:14:04
stream you guys stream every week i know
00:14:06
but there are people that
00:14:07
he'll go on and say he'll go i don't
00:14:09
want to stream and they'll turn it off
00:14:10
my point is is this
00:14:11
how do you know they turn it off how do
00:14:13
i destroy them what do you mean can't
00:14:15
they just record it without you knowing
00:14:17
what they're gonna listen i play with a
00:14:20
kid
00:14:20
named raymond i know raymond i've said
00:14:22
i've heard about that or this kid right
00:14:24
yeah if he put on if he streamed
00:14:28
because sometimes i'll go my manager
00:14:30
will call
00:14:31
and i'll go put everyone pause the
00:14:33
stream they all pause it
00:14:35
because i want to talk to them my
00:14:36
manager about things you're just
00:14:38
trusting all these random strangers from
00:14:39
the internet
00:14:40
no they're friends now you don't even
00:14:42
know them i do know them i know them as
00:14:43
much as i know anybody else
00:14:46
all you know about them is that you
00:14:47
enjoy playing video games together
00:14:50
when you're playing listen it's not as
00:14:52
if you're when you're playing you're
00:14:53
gonna give me some philosophical depth
00:14:55
about you playing a video game makes you
00:14:56
like best friends with somebody no
00:14:57
no but i'm just saying that what you
00:14:59
think to yourself is is that
00:15:00
when i'm playing it's not as if we're
00:15:04
constantly strategizing what are you
00:15:06
talking about we talk about how was your
00:15:08
day at work
00:15:09
you know this happened but you don't
00:15:10
remember what does remy do for work he
00:15:12
used to work at a car dealership but
00:15:14
then he got fired now he works at a
00:15:15
four-star hotel as a receptionist
00:15:17
because he's moving here in september
00:15:18
he's trying to save his money
00:15:19
why is he coming to l.a because he wants
00:15:21
to do he always he used to work for like
00:15:23
a
00:15:24
um a sports local sports show in his
00:15:27
um hometown of georgia and um
00:15:30
he he was doing their social media
00:15:33
and and he also was producing some
00:15:34
segments he's always wanted to live in
00:15:36
that world
00:15:37
he's a huge fan of yours he huge fan of
00:15:39
mine he's a huge
00:15:40
podcast fan he knows all of them so he's
00:15:42
become a real friend he's
00:15:44
i'm friends with all of them but the
00:15:46
other people you don't know as well
00:15:47
yeah i only play with people that i know
00:15:50
in the beginning yes
00:15:51
i'll be at yes but the ones that i'm
00:15:52
playing with now so you're developing a
00:15:54
relationship with these
00:15:55
they're my friends you're falling in
00:15:56
love with these people on the internet
00:15:58
yeah
00:15:58
that's not f it's not people from the
00:16:00
internet they're just kids
00:16:02
that are always on how old are they
00:16:04
ramy's
00:16:05
20. how old are the rest of them i play
00:16:07
with this kid named um
00:16:08
josh price nice kid from denver 14
00:16:12
15. no he has like a little deficiency
00:16:14
oh he's disabled
00:16:16
just inside his mind and yeah and then i
00:16:19
play with a guy named
00:16:20
matt who lives in wales and he's a um
00:16:22
he's a taekwondo
00:16:24
instructor but he's missing an arm
00:16:26
that's got to be tough
00:16:28
yeah if you look at his instagram he's
00:16:29
just going ha ha
00:16:31
the whole time with just one arm and he
00:16:32
uses his legs
00:16:34
and then this one it's like ah only is
00:16:36
right he can only do it it's a knob
00:16:37
it's a nub yeah he's like get over here
00:16:40
yeah but he doesn't wear those
00:16:41
prosthetic things
00:16:42
yeah he just uses you know he's a the
00:16:44
nut freaks people out with a knob
00:16:46
well then you know you know what nubs to
00:16:48
me need to be
00:16:50
perfected do you do you pilot do you
00:16:52
polish a knob or do you color it i would
00:16:54
you know like you know a pool cue i
00:16:56
would use that
00:16:57
yeah we use that blue stuff yeah yeah
00:16:59
for my nub because you want more
00:17:00
attention on the nub i feel like most
00:17:02
people don't want any attention on the
00:17:03
knob yeah or you know when um gymnasts
00:17:04
they use that powder
00:17:06
uh chocolate chocolate yeah i'll put
00:17:08
that that and
00:17:10
then well it dries it out but now i'm
00:17:12
not done
00:17:13
and then i would scrape it with [ __ ]
00:17:14
sandpaper i would go to home depot get
00:17:16
just a sheet of sandpaper just scrape it
00:17:18
so it just evens out you know smooth
00:17:20
smooth it out
00:17:21
yeah you know what i would do i would
00:17:22
get a prosthetic yeah with with skin on
00:17:24
the outside you know that it looks like
00:17:26
an arm
00:17:26
but i want it twice as long as my other
00:17:28
one so i just want one arm like this and
00:17:30
one arm like this at all times just
00:17:32
yeah just a huge left arm yeah and the
00:17:34
other one's like this i just have a
00:17:36
string where you just kind of
00:17:37
yeah yeah control it or you could
00:17:40
probably get a
00:17:41
you know a tattoo well i know a friend
00:17:43
who has a who has
00:17:44
and has a missing limb and he has
00:17:47
tattoos all over it
00:17:48
like the first joke he got was you
00:17:49
should see the other guy on his nub
00:17:52
and then underneath he wrote um uh don't
00:17:55
play with knives
00:17:56
and then he's got all these he's got
00:17:57
tons of tattoos joking about the nub
00:17:59
and then just to like give shape and art
00:18:01
to it yeah it's an art nub
00:18:03
his name is make it so it looks like you
00:18:06
know
00:18:07
it's infected you know i mean
00:18:10
yeah like it's almost like you know like
00:18:12
people are like that just happened
00:18:14
and you're like oh yeah you could go in
00:18:17
and do that
00:18:18
pretend every time yeah we just walk
00:18:20
into a bank
00:18:24
you know people go i would constantly
00:18:25
you know how they can have those those
00:18:26
fire suits you know how they can they
00:18:28
can put enough of that stuff
00:18:29
on to i would constantly light it on
00:18:31
fire and just wave around that's
00:18:32
that's how you could get free [ __ ] walk
00:18:34
in somewhere go call the police they
00:18:36
would run out
00:18:37
take [ __ ] blow it off and then go out
00:18:39
the back
00:18:41
if if you could lose one of your limbs
00:18:43
what would you lose
00:18:45
if i could if you had to if you had to
00:18:47
choose
00:18:49
both or you got to choose a limit like
00:18:52
these are the kind of games
00:18:53
these are the kind of questions that you
00:18:55
play when you're i remember in high
00:18:57
school you'd go camping for the first
00:18:59
time
00:18:59
with your buddies and you would uh
00:19:03
you know there's nothing to do there's
00:19:05
nothing to do you set the fire
00:19:06
there's nothing to do so you just kind
00:19:08
of you guys want to play a game
00:19:10
mm-hmm and then be like yeah it's like
00:19:13
all right so
00:19:16
who would you [ __ ] bobby me or randy
00:19:19
well i know where that's going yeah
00:19:21
you're because you're like both
00:19:22
i'd [ __ ] both of them no this ends up
00:19:24
being an orgy this is what you're trying
00:19:25
to say you're trying to do one of these
00:19:26
trick things on trying to get me
00:19:28
involved in something that you did
00:19:29
i didn't have sex with my friends like
00:19:30
you did you weirdo i didn't have sex
00:19:32
with you
00:19:32
you know when you go out to camp and
00:19:34
your buddy's like show us your penis we
00:19:36
should kiss him no no
00:19:38
you did do a lot of weird stuff like
00:19:39
that when you were a kid you had weird
00:19:40
moments of doing weird i guarantee you
00:19:42
you had a moment in the woods with a
00:19:43
friend
00:19:44
who made you do something uncomfortable
00:19:45
didn't didn't they
00:19:47
maybe yeah yeah you're trying to make it
00:19:50
seem like
00:19:51
everyone had that experience the
00:19:52
weirdest thing we ever did was
00:19:54
a leg yeah a leg you'd lose a leg yeah
00:19:57
right or left my left leg why
00:20:01
it's the weakest out of all my limbs you
00:20:03
do have a bad left leg yeah
00:20:05
the knee is not good um you're just
00:20:07
talking about arms and legs correct
00:20:09
yeah but you can't get a prosthetic what
00:20:12
no left arm then left arm
00:20:16
yeah because you use your right arm too
00:20:18
jack off mm-hmm
00:20:20
i use oh also the guy the guy matt who i
00:20:23
played with from wales
00:20:24
lemmy i don't know is his name matt
00:20:27
limby
00:20:27
no matt nubbin nothing yeah he has one
00:20:30
arm matt nubbin yeah he
00:20:31
i don't know how he plays but he plays
00:20:34
with the nub
00:20:36
is that on is the nub on the joystick
00:20:38
and then the buttons are his right hand
00:20:39
i think he uses his knob i don't know
00:20:41
what nub and then he plays
00:20:43
but he is very good on a computer
00:20:44
desktop or this is on ps4 well you know
00:20:46
with warzone you can put people
00:20:48
most people play a lot of people play it
00:20:50
on computer how many is it ps5 now
00:20:53
it's all cross platforms what do you
00:20:55
have a ps4
00:20:56
is five out coming out when does it come
00:20:58
out soon
00:20:59
are you excited not really well i get it
00:21:03
do you get i don't get excited about any
00:21:05
technology i do oh my god the new
00:21:07
iphone comes out i was like i'm not like
00:21:08
oh what can well you play video games so
00:21:10
much wouldn't that be
00:21:11
it's like saying a new piece of golf
00:21:12
equipment comes out i do get excited
00:21:14
because i'm like that would be cool to
00:21:15
use
00:21:16
yeah but when a new console comes out
00:21:18
the games aren't really necessarily the
00:21:20
first generation of that console games
00:21:22
are always necessarily that great
00:21:24
because they're beta
00:21:26
yeah um but yeah i i'm not that excited
00:21:29
you know
00:21:30
but in terms of war zone let's go back
00:21:31
to that um i've only asked you to play
00:21:34
because
00:21:36
it's just pure joy and fun
00:21:39
i want i want to have fun with you my
00:21:41
problem with video games is
00:21:43
yeah when i play them it's a personality
00:21:46
trait
00:21:47
i feel like i should have been doing
00:21:48
something else my brain goes
00:21:50
you should be writing you should be
00:21:51
working out you should be um
00:21:54
cooking you should be talking to someone
00:21:56
you should be
00:21:57
but in my mind it feels like i'm just
00:21:59
killing a clock
00:22:00
to me it's not that i fight i feel the
00:22:03
enemy
00:22:04
are you i feel the opposite i feel like
00:22:07
i'm really accomplishing something but
00:22:08
you're not
00:22:10
he looks asleep you guys um andrew and i
00:22:12
got
00:22:13
um a couple of months ago helix sleep in
00:22:15
our mattresses yeah mattresses
00:22:17
and we opened it up and we used them and
00:22:19
um i'm telling you right now
00:22:22
wow wow we've had sleepovers with them
00:22:24
which is kind of nice bob will come over
00:22:25
sleep on mine i'll go sleep on his
00:22:27
because
00:22:27
we have different helix sleep numbers
00:22:29
you get online and you take this little
00:22:30
quiz and they tell you your body type
00:22:32
mine was obviously
00:22:33
athletic firm tight and and uh you know
00:22:37
young and vibrant bob's was large um
00:22:40
uh lopey and yeah what is it lopey
00:22:44
lopey mumpy mumpy and bumpy yeah but
00:22:45
it's still good yeah
00:22:47
uh you know what sleeping to me is you
00:22:49
know
00:22:50
your whole life it's your whole life and
00:22:51
if without good sleep it could just
00:22:53
dictate
00:22:54
the direction of your life that's
00:22:56
exactly right helix is going to take
00:22:57
care of that get online take the quiz
00:22:58
they can ship you exactly the mattress
00:23:00
that you want it comes in a box to your
00:23:02
front door
00:23:02
you don't have to go anywhere and go get
00:23:04
it it's like a personalized bed guys
00:23:06
it is it's literally personalized make
00:23:07
it the way you want yeah it's awesome uh
00:23:09
don't take our word for it they're rated
00:23:11
number one overall mattress pick
00:23:12
2020 gq and wired magazine it is pretty
00:23:15
incredible
00:23:16
the way it comes to your front door
00:23:17
sleek and cool they keep you so nice at
00:23:20
night
00:23:21
and comfy i love it very much go to
00:23:23
helixsleep.com
00:23:24
bad friends take their two minute quiz
00:23:26
and they'll match you with a customized
00:23:27
mattress of your choice the best sleep
00:23:29
of your life it's a 10 year warranty 10
00:23:31
years yeah
00:23:32
it's coming uh we're offering up 200 off
00:23:34
all mattress orders and two free pillows
00:23:37
listen seriously you get two bucks three
00:23:38
pillows two yep you want one for your
00:23:40
neck and one for your legs
00:23:42
uh our listeners at helix sleep dot com
00:23:43
slash that friend go to helix leap dot
00:23:45
com slash
00:23:47
policy genius there's never a bad time
00:23:50
to save money guys
00:23:51
yeah that's right but not more than ever
00:23:53
finding smart ways to put some cash back
00:23:55
in your pocket
00:23:56
can make a big difference yeah that's
00:23:57
right you can simply save on things you
00:23:59
already pay for
00:24:00
like home insurance okay if you own a
00:24:02
home or you're shopping for a home
00:24:03
policy genius could save you
00:24:05
at an amani good chunk of change yeah go
00:24:08
to policygenius.com answer some
00:24:09
questions about yourself and your
00:24:10
property
00:24:11
then they're going to compare against
00:24:12
other options to make sure you get in
00:24:14
the best
00:24:15
possible rate first head to
00:24:17
policygenius.com that's right it answers
00:24:19
a few questions
00:24:20
about yourself and your property then
00:24:21
policy genius will compare your policy
00:24:23
against
00:24:24
options from top insurers to make sure
00:24:26
you're getting the right home insurance
00:24:28
covering at the best possible price and
00:24:30
check it out not everyone has a home but
00:24:31
everyone does have a car i'm well for
00:24:33
the most part
00:24:33
you can compare your home and auto
00:24:34
policies across different insurers which
00:24:36
they do for you it's simple
00:24:37
they can show you can save money and the
00:24:39
average human being saves 1100
00:24:41
a year that's good cash so if you're
00:24:45
like me put a little cash in your pocket
00:24:47
right now
00:24:48
see how you can save by reshopping your
00:24:50
home insurance rates
00:24:51
at policygenius.com your hand-eye
00:24:54
coordination for a video game doesn't
00:24:55
improve
00:24:56
any more than you already have and um
00:24:59
it's also
00:25:00
um it's like watching a movie like you
00:25:02
know kalila will
00:25:04
watch a korean soap opera from season
00:25:08
to the beginning all seasons in a row
00:25:11
right i don't do that either i know but
00:25:12
she does that and i don't really play
00:25:15
like this
00:25:16
during if it wasn't a pandemic but it's
00:25:19
like i don't know how long this is going
00:25:20
to last but when the pandy wasn't
00:25:21
happening you were playing
00:25:22
all night long instead it wasn't you
00:25:25
weren't playing in the middle of the
00:25:26
night
00:25:26
there would be months where i wouldn't
00:25:28
play at all because you were working
00:25:30
no it depends on what game it is like if
00:25:33
there's a game out
00:25:34
it's not like if i like movies i'm gonna
00:25:36
watch every movie
00:25:37
ever made why not you know
00:25:40
but like i will watch i've like seen
00:25:43
every christopher nolan movie
00:25:45
mm-hmm have you i guess i think i have
00:25:48
i've seen probably almost all the things
00:25:49
that he's made i'll yeah i've seen
00:25:51
every west ham tarantino yeah
00:25:55
but there are some people that i have
00:25:57
like like most movies that come out
00:25:59
i don't watch and that's like like that
00:26:02
in video games you're saying when you
00:26:03
get hooked on a game you're hooked for a
00:26:05
while
00:26:05
like there's a company called bethesda
00:26:08
they make my favorite games they make
00:26:10
fallout and they make um elder scrolls
00:26:12
skyrim you know
00:26:14
and every time a fallout or a sky or an
00:26:17
elder scrolls comes out i will play it
00:26:18
from beginning to end
00:26:20
because they're the type of games that i
00:26:22
like right
00:26:23
what i'm saying is grand theft auto if a
00:26:25
grand theft a rock star if
00:26:26
grand theft auto came out the new one
00:26:28
obviously i've only only played them
00:26:30
through one time
00:26:31
but i will play it through one time
00:26:33
because it's cultural
00:26:35
people make references to it and it's
00:26:37
important
00:26:39
it's important to you yeah to everyone
00:26:41
no to you
00:26:42
no you think i can get by without
00:26:43
knowing anything about about
00:26:45
skyrim yeah listen i'll be fine you and
00:26:49
i
00:26:49
just because you can do duos in in in
00:26:52
war zone
00:26:53
just two people okay so you and i
00:26:56
parachuting down parachuting down right
00:27:00
do you know how much fun
00:27:03
we would have where are you going oh my
00:27:07
god
00:27:07
you're right that would be it the whole
00:27:09
time and no why are you doing that
00:27:11
no but it'd be one of those things where
00:27:13
it's like also
00:27:15
i believe that you're going to be so
00:27:17
good at it
00:27:18
that you're going to be an asset to my
00:27:20
stats
00:27:21
oh i improve your stats you might
00:27:25
and um if i come over to the house can i
00:27:27
do it with you there or no i have to
00:27:28
have my own [ __ ]
00:27:29
you have to have your own [ __ ] but um
00:27:31
i'm telling you
00:27:32
right now that you're going to be like
00:27:35
we have we play with the same guy named
00:27:36
kung fu nick
00:27:38
and kung fu nick he's a black guy no
00:27:39
he's asian huh kung fu nick
00:27:41
you know he when his wife is sleeping
00:27:44
you can hear him going all right she's
00:27:45
asleep guys i can play a little bit
00:27:47
he only plays for like 45 minutes and he
00:27:49
goes back to sleep
00:27:51
you know that bothers me so why it's
00:27:54
just the idea that a guy is like
00:27:55
sneaking away to play video games is
00:27:57
like why can't
00:27:58
you aren't you an adult is kung fu nick
00:28:00
a grown-up yeah he owns it he has his
00:28:02
own dojo
00:28:03
oh he owns things he owns his own so who
00:28:05
the [ __ ] is telling him he can't play
00:28:06
video games
00:28:07
his wife that's the craziest [ __ ] i've
00:28:09
ever heard
00:28:10
if my wife ever said i don't want you
00:28:13
playing video i don't play video and my
00:28:15
wife said i don't want you playing golf
00:28:16
i'd be like bye
00:28:18
yeah i you can't tell me that what's the
00:28:20
point of golf it's the same
00:28:21
thing no there's no point to it the
00:28:24
difference is i
00:28:25
like physical activity and getting up
00:28:27
and getting out i don't like being at
00:28:28
home
00:28:29
at it i know but it's still pointless no
00:28:32
i ca no it's no no it's not possible
00:28:34
first of all putting a little ball into
00:28:36
a hole is pointless you're a nihilist
00:28:38
now now anything's pointless
00:28:39
that's what i how i feel about video
00:28:41
games it's like i'm not saying video
00:28:43
games same exact thing
00:28:44
right out of playing video games as you
00:28:46
do with
00:28:47
golf yeah no don't diminish it it's a
00:28:50
great sport
00:28:51
it's good warzone it's a great video i'm
00:28:53
not i just don't find that it's ever
00:28:55
gonna help me
00:28:56
it will no because my anxiety is so high
00:28:58
i haven't tried it
00:28:59
i can't finish a movie try it i can't
00:29:02
finish it free
00:29:03
what i'm saying to you it's free yeah
00:29:06
don't you
00:29:06
don't you have to pay to play no it's
00:29:08
completely free so i buy the game
00:29:11
you don't buy it they give it to me for
00:29:13
free yes
00:29:14
why would they do that because they make
00:29:17
money
00:29:17
off of like when you play warzone and
00:29:19
you spend you don't spend any money
00:29:21
you get you get what everyone else gets
00:29:25
right but if i buy special weapons no
00:29:27
there's no special weapons
00:29:28
no but you know you can buy an operator
00:29:32
because if you if you don't get an
00:29:35
operator
00:29:35
you'll look like just a regular soldier
00:29:38
on the battlefield but
00:29:39
he had that no one has a different
00:29:41
abilities
00:29:42
how much money have you spent on the
00:29:44
game
00:29:45
couple grand
00:29:50
no wonder it's free no because you spent
00:29:53
a couple of my bros
00:29:54
my brother hasn't spent any money zero
00:29:57
that that would be me but when we fly
00:29:59
down right he's just like this regular
00:30:01
white guy
00:30:02
where i you know you know i mean does he
00:30:04
get to design you can't design your guy
00:30:06
no but you can get get operators and
00:30:08
they're not that expensive they're like
00:30:10
three bucks but i have to get all of
00:30:12
them how did you you spent
00:30:13
over th you spent thousands of dollars
00:30:15
because you bought how many operators
00:30:17
all of them over time
00:30:20
how how long is this dude how long has
00:30:22
the game been out
00:30:24
four or five years oh okay
00:30:28
what do most people spend nothing
00:30:31
so most people like yesterday we were
00:30:32
playing with raymie and raymond's like i
00:30:34
need a new operator
00:30:35
and i venmo them 40 bucks what is an
00:30:37
operator
00:30:38
it's just whatever your character looks
00:30:39
like when you're down a new avatar
00:30:41
yeah when you're running around yeah
00:30:44
yeah and you spend thousands of dollars
00:30:46
on operators
00:30:47
yeah operator yeah yeah really why not
00:30:51
i don't know i just think it seems yeah
00:30:54
obviously
00:30:54
have you spent thousand dollars on golf
00:30:57
yeah but that's a real thing
00:30:58
no war zone is a real thing no no like
00:31:01
like a golf club i
00:31:02
physically have to use yeah with when
00:31:04
i'm physically doing this
00:31:05
yeah but you don't have to change your
00:31:07
operator your brother doesn't you don't
00:31:09
have to get great golf equipment you can
00:31:11
just get shitty coffee equipment
00:31:12
you have to pay for it either way your
00:31:14
brother does it for free
00:31:16
yeah i don't want to i know but i don't
00:31:19
my brother
00:31:19
doesn't get operators because he doesn't
00:31:21
have the money to get it so why don't
00:31:22
you give him the money instead of venmo
00:31:23
and the other guy 40
00:31:25
because i already asked him i go do you
00:31:26
want to get a new operator he goes nah
00:31:27
fine bob
00:31:28
i don't want one he wants one he doesn't
00:31:30
want one because my brother doesn't like
00:31:31
fashion
00:31:35
my brother's never liked fashion so
00:31:37
you're saying it's about fast if i go to
00:31:38
if i go to like
00:31:39
uh vans right and i go i'll buy you i
00:31:42
could go into a vans right now
00:31:44
and go you want a pair of shoes you go
00:31:46
yeah
00:31:47
he doesn't even have to point it out i
00:31:49
can go in there and just
00:31:51
pick one because i know what he likes he
00:31:54
wants
00:31:55
the plane all black vans no it's like
00:31:58
always brown plain
00:32:00
nothing cool right if you get jeans hey
00:32:04
i'm gonna get some raw den
00:32:05
how much do i spend money on i i spend
00:32:08
me and nick youssef and all these comics
00:32:11
right kevin christie
00:32:12
will go to self edge and go hey so
00:32:15
you know did that double ply um
00:32:18
okinawa raw denim come out yet oh yeah
00:32:21
but we only have two
00:32:23
they're like 600 bucks you spend 600
00:32:25
bucks yeah
00:32:26
per pair yeah see you don't like fashion
00:32:30
it's not about fashion it's about
00:32:31
getting if you wear anything
00:32:33
but raw denim aside from raw denim
00:32:36
japanese raw denim
00:32:38
don't even lock eyes with me really yeah
00:32:41
you're really pretentious oh yeah about
00:32:44
jeans yes who gives a [ __ ] i do
00:32:48
why because if you're wearing jeans you
00:32:50
know how sometimes they make jeans that
00:32:52
are dirtied up
00:32:53
yeah and they put the lines in it it's
00:32:56
not organic it's factory made it's
00:32:57
corporate it's i don't like it right
00:32:59
you're wearing a shirt that's factory
00:33:01
made you know what this is
00:33:03
a black sabbath shirt no this is made
00:33:05
worn
00:33:07
look it up look it up
00:33:10
and if i took you there your eyes would
00:33:12
get boggled
00:33:13
it looks fine no i'm just saying i only
00:33:16
wear yeah that's probably
00:33:17
what is that a two 300 shirt hello
00:33:20
you see this jefferson indoor gun range
00:33:22
from new orleans louisiana
00:33:24
free i shot a gun they gave it to me i'm
00:33:27
fine with that that's fine
00:33:28
but that's what you're like my brother
00:33:29
you don't like fashion i like fashion
00:33:31
and that's why i buy operators
00:33:33
when i [ __ ] play warzone you're cuz i
00:33:35
want to look good you're a little asian
00:33:36
prince
00:33:37
you're right i like fashion you're a
00:33:39
pedophile you're not a [ __ ]
00:33:40
little white peasant you're you're
00:33:42
making up for something you have to have
00:33:43
nice fancy clothes because everything
00:33:45
underneath doesn't work this is the
00:33:46
emperor's new clothes
00:33:47
what's underneath is broken this is the
00:33:49
emperor's new clothes
00:33:58
well the black sabbath 400 shirt and 700
00:34:01
jeans aren't going to help
00:34:02
it but it makes me feel good why listen
00:34:05
when i grew up
00:34:06
i asked my dad can i get a [ __ ] game
00:34:09
console
00:34:09
no can i get clothes no right
00:34:13
can i eat no right
00:34:16
no it's always like you know on their
00:34:19
terms
00:34:20
and so growing up i was like this is
00:34:22
just retaliation in my early just let me
00:34:23
finish
00:34:24
in my early 20s i went to
00:34:28
i went to thrift stores right
00:34:31
at first not out of you know because
00:34:33
it's cool
00:34:35
to look retro because that's all i could
00:34:36
really afford right
00:34:38
right but then what i found was
00:34:42
old i got old rock teas before all the
00:34:45
rock tees
00:34:46
were you know we're cool right
00:34:49
so i've always liked these type types of
00:34:51
clothing right but it's like
00:34:53
um you know but then when i started
00:34:55
making money i was just like
00:34:57
you know i would go i want to i remember
00:35:00
walking up to kevin christie one day and
00:35:01
he can admit this this is what this is
00:35:03
when um
00:35:03
you have heard of apc yes what is it
00:35:08
a pc
00:35:12
it's uh you don't know just say you
00:35:14
don't know a full uh
00:35:16
awful primer correctly apc is like
00:35:19
they they it's a clothing company yeah i
00:35:21
know they do beverly hills and it's i
00:35:22
know where they are okay
00:35:23
and um you know have you heard of golden
00:35:26
goose
00:35:27
no okay so i wear you know the tennis
00:35:29
shoes all the tennis shoes i wear
00:35:32
they look like 20 30 tennis shoes right
00:35:34
but they cost way too much
00:35:35
1200 bucks and that's so dumb i'm just
00:35:37
saying look at this
00:35:38
yeah 7.99
00:35:41
look at this montclair okay how much is
00:35:44
your sandal
00:35:45
how much is your flip box hundreds of
00:35:47
dollars yeah
00:35:48
same function yeah eight dollars but it
00:35:51
has the montclair on it
00:35:53
what does that even who cares if it's
00:35:54
montclair they make jackets no you don't
00:35:56
get it so what i'm saying i i
00:35:58
i can't now what i'm sounding in the
00:36:00
podcast it's like an ass
00:36:01
as an [ __ ] because it cut all this
00:36:03
out no yeah yeah no because this is real
00:36:05
it's not real you really feel that way
00:36:07
you think that that's gonna make up for
00:36:10
whatever annoyance that you have about
00:36:11
anything that's not why would a
00:36:13
montclair sandal
00:36:14
i'll tell you why yeah okay because and
00:36:17
this is the truth
00:36:17
and i like nice [ __ ] by the way that's
00:36:19
the truth you know dean
00:36:20
delray del rey yeah dean darrell went he
00:36:23
called me one day
00:36:24
he goes hey man i'm over at hey
00:36:27
hey man i'm over here yeah yeah yeah i'm
00:36:29
over at um
00:36:32
oh i go yeah he goes yeah man there's a
00:36:35
montclair jacket here that i can't
00:36:37
afford
00:36:39
i go take a photo of it what is
00:36:42
montclair i didn't know where it was
00:36:43
ah see i know he's like yeah just rich
00:36:45
you know french people were
00:36:47
so he sends me and i get it right the
00:36:50
montclair jacket
00:36:51
and now i'm wearing this camo
00:36:55
vest montclair jacket at the comedy
00:36:56
store
00:36:59
and i know it i've seen it yeah and
00:37:01
david spade walks up to me
00:37:02
i don't know him at all never talked to
00:37:05
me before
00:37:06
yeah he walks up he sticks his finger on
00:37:09
the montclair
00:37:10
logo he goes what's up man you're doing
00:37:13
good like what do you mean i love that
00:37:16
company
00:37:18
and then we became friends
00:37:23
so you bonded over expensive jackets
00:37:31
learning a language has always been on
00:37:33
my to-do list and now i realize there's
00:37:35
no better
00:37:36
time to start if you're looking to learn
00:37:38
a new language babel can help you become
00:37:40
a better speaker faster than you think
00:37:41
guys
00:37:42
i'm trying to learn andy i'm trying to
00:37:44
learn canton i'm trying to learn france
00:37:46
hey
00:37:47
yeah bobby's trying to learn france and
00:37:48
france and i'm going to learn cantonese
00:37:50
which is probably one of the hardest
00:37:51
languages to learn but we're going to do
00:37:52
it because
00:37:53
spanish is too easy and we live in
00:37:55
california we want to challenge you can
00:37:56
challenge yourself
00:37:57
if you want to learn a new language uh
00:37:59
whether it's time or effort or money
00:38:01
babel gets rid of all that stuff
00:38:02
to start like language speaking sooner
00:38:05
babel designs their courses with real
00:38:08
world this is what i like about
00:38:09
real world conversation in mind yeah
00:38:12
right because it's like you know
00:38:14
people don't talk the way um
00:38:22
yeah yeah it teaches you real life
00:38:24
street conversational speak
00:38:26
and it's available on an app or online
00:38:27
your progress is synced across all your
00:38:29
devices so it's easy to do
00:38:30
you do it on your own terms and during
00:38:32
the pandy why don't you learn a new
00:38:33
language
00:38:35
right now purchase a three-month
00:38:36
subscription babel is going to give our
00:38:37
listeners three
00:38:38
additional months for free with the
00:38:39
promo code bad friends that's three
00:38:41
additional months if you go to babel.com
00:38:43
use the promo code
00:38:44
of friends on your three-month
00:38:45
subscription b-a-b-b-e-l dot com
00:38:47
promo codes friends bad friends
00:38:51
this episode of bad friends is sponsored
00:38:52
by blue truth remember the days when you
00:38:53
were ready to go bobby when you could
00:38:55
just
00:38:55
have sex again and again yeah yeah
00:38:58
it's like it's chewable and it really
00:39:01
does work yeah because bobby has this
00:39:02
thing where he can't swallow pills he
00:39:03
chokes and he gets nervous yeah and he
00:39:05
gets swollen and he turns purple yeah
00:39:06
it's fda
00:39:07
approved yes it is it's prescribed
00:39:09
online by licensed physicians you don't
00:39:10
have to go to the doctor's office and
00:39:11
wait in the line and be embarrassed and
00:39:13
all that stuff it's discreetly delivered
00:39:15
to your front door in a package and it
00:39:16
tastes good
00:39:17
yeah they taste pretty good they don't
00:39:19
taste sad they're made in the usa and
00:39:21
since bluetooth prepares
00:39:22
and ships direct they're cheaper than a
00:39:24
pharmacy no awkwardness and you don't
00:39:26
have to leave the house
00:39:27
right now we've got a special deal for
00:39:29
our listeners visit view bluetooth.com
00:39:32
and get your first shipment free that's
00:39:33
right when you use our
00:39:35
special promo code bad friends you do
00:39:37
the rest my friend
00:39:38
just pay five dollars for shipping you
00:39:39
guys blue chew.com b-l-u-e com
00:39:40
b-l-u-e-like thecolorchew.com the promo
00:39:42
code is bad friends
00:39:43
it really does work out yeah it does if
00:39:45
you want to go more than once and last
00:39:46
longer and have some more uh
00:39:48
it's fun some umph go to bluetooth.com
00:39:51
use the promo code bad friends baby
00:39:54
i found with every group has a shaggy
00:39:59
i'm shaggy yeah then you're scooby
00:40:02
you're the most likable you're my dog
00:40:04
the most the most
00:40:06
market marketable likable character
00:40:09
that's that's shaggy no that's not
00:40:10
shaggy hey he's scoob yeah
00:40:12
everybody loves shaggy he was a pothead
00:40:14
yeah he was scooby's best friend
00:40:15
unfuckable he was the original original
00:40:18
incel
00:40:19
scooby no shaggy no shaggy wasn't in in
00:40:22
cell
00:40:23
he's he has to hang out with a dog 24 7.
00:40:25
his best friend his other friends won't
00:40:27
even hang out with him those friends
00:40:29
suck that almost sucks those guys suck
00:40:31
the guy where's they have raves in that
00:40:33
van and they're like [ __ ] you shaggy you
00:40:35
just go
00:40:36
hang out with your [ __ ] dog and we're
00:40:37
going to go on an adventure you're right
00:40:39
you know what i was doing with the dog
00:40:40
what
00:40:40
you know what i was doing with the dog
00:40:41
sucking its dick no i'm making you d i'm
00:40:43
making you
00:40:44
i'm making you suck my dick i [ __ ] you
00:40:47
i [ __ ] you scoob you want some scooby
00:40:50
snacks
00:40:51
chomp chomp chomp oh you're getting
00:40:52
tired i [ __ ] you scooby you know it
00:40:54
makes
00:40:55
you know okay yeah you know i'm not i am
00:40:57
an elitist i guess
00:40:58
yeah you're yes in many ways look i like
00:41:00
fancy stuff too
00:41:01
yeah i just never understood the word
00:41:03
you challenged why
00:41:05
i buy operators in warzone that's where
00:41:07
this is giving
00:41:08
you no i didn't challenge it i said why
00:41:09
did i give you an insight well the
00:41:11
bottom line is you like
00:41:12
you're you think you think it's
00:41:14
important to look good
00:41:16
to wear nice [ __ ] yeah it's
00:41:20
you know and generally it doesn't really
00:41:21
matter i get it in at the end of the
00:41:23
things especially
00:41:24
this is going to get a lot of backlash
00:41:26
because i know why people aren't doing
00:41:28
well in the pandemic
00:41:29
i don't spend that much money right now
00:41:32
but you know i have in my life
00:41:35
i have in my life i spend money on
00:41:37
stupid stuff too like what
00:41:39
my car is very expensive yeah that's
00:41:41
right yeah you drive a piece of [ __ ] and
00:41:42
i drive a nice car
00:41:44
yes but but that's a thing i use all the
00:41:46
time i think clothes to me are like i
00:41:48
take this off i get naked at the end of
00:41:49
the day at my house
00:41:50
these things mean they just i only wear
00:41:52
clothes because i we have to
00:41:54
because legally the law says i can't
00:41:56
walk around otherwise
00:41:57
i would put on just swim trunks and walk
00:41:59
around like that all day yeah i don't
00:42:01
ever want jeans or shirts or
00:42:02
i don't like it i live in california so
00:42:05
i don't have to have lots of clothes
00:42:07
when i lived in la jolla i knew this kid
00:42:09
named tom
00:42:10
his dad was a
00:42:13
multi-multi-multi-millionaire
00:42:14
i was broke and um his dad also was like
00:42:18
hipster-like he looked cool his dad yeah
00:42:21
like effortlessly cool
00:42:22
and he drove up to this his dad one time
00:42:25
drove up to this
00:42:26
coffee shop he used to work at um in
00:42:29
a clunker like the window was blasted
00:42:32
out
00:42:32
you know the hubcaps weren't there and
00:42:35
he walked out of there just looking like
00:42:36
a degenerate
00:42:38
right and i thought to myself
00:42:41
yes so that's why i always have a
00:42:43
clunker the car
00:42:44
it's always beat up there's always a
00:42:46
window missing right yeah i don't give a
00:42:48
[ __ ] about cars
00:42:49
yeah but that's what i'm saying you care
00:42:50
about fashion you're that's why you need
00:42:52
operators
00:42:53
yeah but i don't you know but when i you
00:42:54
look at me it's not because it's not i
00:42:56
i look i like the the
00:42:59
heroin chic look yeah you look like
00:43:01
homeless plus
00:43:03
yeah yeah i like when it's like huh
00:43:06
but look i'm jealous of the fact i've
00:43:08
talked about this but
00:43:09
i can't that's a cool shirt i [ __ ]
00:43:11
love black sabbath
00:43:13
whether or not you even like the band is
00:43:14
a debatable thing do you like black
00:43:16
sabbath i love black sex okay
00:43:18
but people wear those shirts a lot and i
00:43:20
resent it because they wear
00:43:21
like the kardashians will wear a [ __ ]
00:43:25
a metal shirt like a pantera shirt i
00:43:28
know they don't like pantera yeah
00:43:29
okay that's my problem with the culture
00:43:31
that took over wearing cool [ __ ]
00:43:33
all right dude listen so because of it
00:43:35
i'd rather wear a jefferson indoor gun
00:43:36
range
00:43:37
new orleans louisiana i'd rather wear
00:43:39
this yeah because it's fun
00:43:40
okay when i'm at maid of warning made
00:43:44
war
00:43:44
made worn made worn yeah oh it's called
00:43:47
made
00:43:47
worn made worn is it a replica or it's
00:43:50
an actual
00:43:51
vintage shirt it's the guy that does
00:43:53
like all of christopher nolan's like
00:43:55
clothing and stuff with his movies
00:43:56
especially the history pieces this guy
00:43:58
is um
00:44:00
he's friends with dean but he owns a
00:44:02
factory not a factory
00:44:03
on fairfax and he sells these shirts
00:44:07
what
00:44:08
he does is he collected rock t-shirts
00:44:10
all his life
00:44:11
and um he created a company called
00:44:15
years ago called junk food which was a
00:44:17
clothing brand
00:44:18
and he made rock teas there as well but
00:44:20
they were factory made
00:44:22
in asia and stuff like that they didn't
00:44:23
look so he decided he sold that company
00:44:25
and decided to
00:44:27
make a real vintage clothing company but
00:44:30
he took
00:44:31
he takes this is a brand new shirt
00:44:34
no one's ever it's never worn never worn
00:44:36
so it should be called made never worn
00:44:38
and he has a crew of people dipping in
00:44:41
oil
00:44:42
putting it on the sun you know i mean
00:44:44
stretching it so you pay for the fur to
00:44:46
be worn
00:44:46
yeah and um so when i go
00:44:50
there it's like um i don't pick out
00:44:52
shirts
00:44:53
like he'll go look at look at this one
00:44:55
you go i go i don't know that band so i
00:44:57
don't like them
00:44:58
so i won't can't wear it right right so
00:45:00
it's like if it's a class shirt or
00:45:02
i love the clash or the sex pistols or
00:45:04
whatever it might be i'll get that
00:45:06
you know so they spent they have little
00:45:08
people
00:45:09
ruining the shirts so you can not
00:45:11
dwarves not like that [ __ ]
00:45:13
i thought you said they had lps there
00:45:16
leprechauns i thought you said they had
00:45:17
little peas
00:45:18
no so he employs only lp's no no no no
00:45:21
no so a bunch of lps they'll wear out
00:45:23
the shirts
00:45:24
and they run down to the river and they
00:45:26
wash it but also if you go
00:45:27
there right if i brought you there
00:45:31
you'd be like oh cool not just cool
00:45:34
his that factory that he has in that on
00:45:36
fairfax
00:45:37
is like a [ __ ] museum well then let's
00:45:40
go
00:45:41
it's ask anyone that's ever been i i
00:45:43
don't
00:45:44
you know because of your attitude
00:45:45
because i have to call and make an
00:45:47
appointment
00:45:48
because of your [ __ ] attitude they
00:45:50
may not
00:45:51
uh right now or in general right now oh
00:45:53
okay yeah in general could i is that
00:45:55
okay
00:45:56
in general yes but right now the frame
00:45:57
that i'm in right now i don't deserve no
00:45:59
you don't deserve
00:46:00
anything oh really you're a game
00:46:02
combative and nasty
00:46:04
i'm being um first of all i'm not being
00:46:05
combative nasty just play warzone
00:46:07
[Music]
00:46:11
fight stop being a [ __ ] [ __ ] and a
00:46:13
[ __ ] okay
00:46:14
you're not a man of your word here's the
00:46:15
deal yeah i am if it's something i care
00:46:17
about
00:46:18
no no i'm asking you
00:46:21
as a friend to play one time okay so
00:46:24
then i have here's the problem i have to
00:46:25
go buy a system
00:46:26
i think you said that you had an xbox i
00:46:28
have an xbox you said please cross
00:46:29
platform i want to play it on the one
00:46:31
i'm supposed to play it on no no no
00:46:34
half the people i play with play it on
00:46:36
other
00:46:37
i said some people play it on the
00:46:38
computer it's cross platform
00:46:40
all right so the game's free i'm gonna
00:46:43
go you have the [ __ ] i download it
00:46:45
yes i need to go get my headset well
00:46:48
yeah make sure you have a mic to it
00:46:49
i need to get my headset with a mic yeah
00:46:52
and i log in i create a player
00:46:54
then i have to spend hours learning the
00:46:55
the triggers and the buttons that's not
00:46:57
it's literally so self-explanatory
00:47:00
there's so many buttons on the xbox
00:47:01
thing now
00:47:02
oh my god listen it's i don't know right
00:47:05
trigger left trigger
00:47:06
top top
00:47:13
all right so let's say this is the let's
00:47:16
see this is the control
00:47:17
i have it right in your
00:47:21
little mind just make an assumption what
00:47:24
would be
00:47:24
shoot uh right trigger exactly
00:47:27
yeah what about the top and right
00:47:29
buttons what about the buttons
00:47:31
throw grenades both of them make you
00:47:33
throw grenades it depends on what your
00:47:34
um
00:47:35
this is where it gets dumb dude
00:47:39
i just i don't i don't have the capacity
00:47:40
to yeah you do to care yeah it's more of
00:47:42
it's more of it's hard for me to like
00:47:43
invest
00:47:45
i used to play you know what i used to
00:47:46
play yeah what tiger woods golf
00:47:50
i loved it simple i'm a simple man
00:47:56
i'm going to be playing in tiger woods
00:47:57
could you
00:47:59
you go on a tournament you play tiger
00:48:01
woods yeah you hit the ball
00:48:03
and then and then you [ __ ] about 12
00:48:05
other women yeah no way
00:48:06
tiger goes to waffle house after his
00:48:08
round right if you win a round you're
00:48:09
allowed to leave go to waffle house
00:48:11
and you [ __ ] darla in an afford galaxy
00:48:14
uh look i've never [ __ ] a black woman
00:48:16
by the way yes he has
00:48:17
tiger woods you think during all that
00:48:19
escapades he didn't have sex with a
00:48:20
black girl you're insane
00:48:22
give me one huh maybe one geneva johnson
00:48:25
oh
00:48:26
geneva jennifer johnson charlotte north
00:48:28
carolina
00:48:29
4 30 in the morning outside of an ihop
00:48:31
my bad but um
00:48:32
look look look i'm going to play i
00:48:35
promise why not no look at me i don't
00:48:36
want you to
00:48:36
i oh you don't know what
00:48:41
[Music]
00:48:43
what i am is
00:48:47
what's kikimore i mean you don't know
00:48:49
who kikomori is obviously i just asked
00:48:51
you i don't know what it means
00:48:52
i know you don't but do you know what it
00:48:53
is
00:48:54
[Laughter]
00:48:56
yes akikomore is a guess what it is i
00:48:59
know what it is what
00:49:00
uh kikimori in japan are these little
00:49:02
tiny they're almost a muskrat
00:49:03
size and they no seriously they're
00:49:06
little tiny muskrat
00:49:07
uh rodent creatures and they've got um
00:49:09
bulbous bellies and cute little noses
00:49:11
and beautiful little eyes
00:49:12
yeah and they roam around uh northern
00:49:15
japan you're describing japanese people
00:49:18
oh right yeah they roll around no you're
00:49:21
a kiko mori is um is a servant of a
00:49:23
korean
00:49:25
um uh fighting instructor a martial arts
00:49:28
instructor
00:49:29
it's a servant and he no yeah isn't that
00:49:31
a kick of more i'll just tell you what
00:49:32
it is
00:49:33
kikomori is the guy it's the guy who
00:49:36
hand makes
00:49:37
um you know the guy you know
00:49:39
[Laughter]
00:49:40
he hand cuts out uh dim sum
00:49:49
is a japanese shut-in i was so close
00:49:52
i was gonna get that one you're getting
00:49:55
that so it's a it's a it's a recluse
00:49:57
there are kids in middle class homes
00:50:00
even um
00:50:01
upper class kids who have never left
00:50:04
their room
00:50:05
you're a kikamore i could have been i
00:50:07
think i think i'm hikimori
00:50:10
they never left their room and so that
00:50:11
basically what happens is they go
00:50:13
okay that's just them yeah you know what
00:50:16
i mean i hear mine yeah
00:50:17
they always say okay yeah they just set
00:50:19
up the at their own because they have to
00:50:20
go
00:50:20
okay and then the next thought comes
00:50:22
right okay here we go
00:50:24
they always say here we go here we go
00:50:25
okay here we go my friend
00:50:27
um and then my friend why do uh why do
00:50:30
people always say my friend
00:50:32
from from different lands my friend
00:50:33
because it's a no matter where you go
00:50:35
my friend my friend my friend my friend
00:50:38
one yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
00:50:39
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
00:50:39
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah for while
00:50:40
you're riding my friend yeah because
00:50:41
they want you to
00:50:42
think that they like you or they go mr
00:50:45
meester
00:50:47
eastern yeah whenever i was when i would
00:50:50
go to mexico mexico and the kids would
00:50:51
sell chickens yeah they got me
00:50:52
they're
00:50:56
you know what i would do i'd steal the
00:50:57
chiclets yeah i put them all in my mouth
00:50:59
yeah
00:51:00
let's spit them at the kid yeah yeah
00:51:03
or i i wasn't til was shopping at
00:51:06
tijuana once shopping
00:51:07
yeah and there was a man with no arms
00:51:09
and low legs
00:51:11
and he was just sitting there like on
00:51:12
the side well don't do that with your
00:51:13
arms because you didn't have any
00:51:15
i know but this is people with no arms
00:51:17
yeah
00:51:18
they have invisible ones they're fake
00:51:20
they wish they yeah yeah
00:51:22
so he was actually doing this right
00:51:26
right yeah and he was like
00:51:29
you have money mr right so i didn't know
00:51:32
where to put it he didn't have a cup
00:51:34
he stuck it right in his mouth
00:51:37
you have to put it somewhere yeah where
00:51:39
do you put it between the eyelid i mean
00:51:40
you got
00:51:41
to put it right on his head yeah right
00:51:42
no he had it i just stuck around his
00:51:44
mouth he's like he's there yeah
00:51:46
yeah yeah i want to ask i want to talk
00:51:48
to you about something for real
00:51:50
oh no i want to tell you about kikimori
00:51:51
real quick oh yeah tell me okay
00:51:53
come back i have something to ask you
00:51:55
because i'm so interested in what you
00:51:57
think but i'm like finally we go back to
00:51:58
kiko let's start with kikamore so there
00:52:02
so i what was it okay okay
00:52:06
remember yeah that's what he's thinking
00:52:07
okay so let's go these kids go
00:52:10
okay so i don't want to talk to nobody
00:52:13
i don't want to work i don't want
00:52:16
nothing
00:52:17
right so they basically just sit
00:52:20
in their [ __ ] rooms and their parents
00:52:23
put food
00:52:24
you know sometimes in a little slot
00:52:26
through a slot
00:52:27
because they don't want to see anybody
00:52:28
they see them but they take it and
00:52:31
they're always on computer like one kid
00:52:33
made a lot of money on like the stock
00:52:35
market
00:52:36
uh-huh but he just never left the house
00:52:38
so he just gives his parents money and
00:52:39
he just says give me whatever i need and
00:52:41
leave me alone
00:52:41
right but then most parents they just
00:52:44
enable it
00:52:45
and these kids stay in they're never
00:52:46
living never seeing the light of day
00:52:49
yeah so there's a big academic uh
00:52:52
epidemic
00:52:53
so it's and it's kids they're playing
00:52:54
video games that's it's amazing
00:52:56
again but some of these they ring like
00:52:58
manga and and
00:53:00
you know watch anime are you a kikamore
00:53:03
yeah she could have be what does
00:53:04
kikamura directly translate to
00:53:06
shut in shut in kikamura sounds so much
00:53:09
nicer than shut in
00:53:10
i know it sounds like it's more noble i
00:53:12
i came up with the movie idea a long
00:53:14
time ago
00:53:14
about like me as a shut-in
00:53:18
or like i l i grew up here though in la
00:53:21
in l.a
00:53:22
my dad dies so my mom just tells all my
00:53:24
friends that i moved back to korea
00:53:26
oh and then like 25 years later
00:53:29
you remember she she's sick now
00:53:33
right uh-huh and she calls all my
00:53:36
friends but now
00:53:36
all my friends are like adults with
00:53:38
families and stuff and they go
00:53:40
uh he didn't go back
00:53:43
and they're like what yeah he'd be here
00:53:45
the whole time he lives in garden grove
00:53:47
so it's all my friends coming back
00:53:49
to comedy yeah right and trying to get
00:53:51
me to live
00:53:52
life again as a grown up but now but now
00:53:55
i'm like i don't know how to
00:53:56
really speak i haven't talked to anybody
00:53:58
right in 20 years this is like a
00:54:00
autobiographical thing for you this is
00:54:02
almost a little bit
00:54:04
this is like your life a little bit no
00:54:06
man i'm a
00:54:07
go-getter mm-hmm ask me the question
00:54:11
that was rude ask me the question i
00:54:12
didn't mean it you are shut in with
00:54:14
video games though
00:54:16
are you gonna play today though i'm
00:54:17
gonna i promise do you know what a
00:54:19
conservative
00:54:20
conservatorship is conservatorship
00:54:24
conservatorship no britney spears is
00:54:27
under a conservatorship do you know what
00:54:28
this is
00:54:29
when she had her public meltdown there's
00:54:31
like a hashtag going around called free
00:54:33
brittany
00:54:34
people think she's like being held
00:54:36
against her will
00:54:38
ever since she got publicly you know she
00:54:41
shaved her head and freaked out her
00:54:43
you can put someone in a conservative
00:54:44
ship which means like you have a
00:54:45
guardian taking care of you to make sure
00:54:47
you're not
00:54:48
losing it going off the deep end and
00:54:49
hurting yourself or others right
00:54:51
so her dad is her conservatorship
00:54:54
overseer
00:54:55
and a lawyer and they get salaries and
00:54:57
she's only allowed an allowance
00:54:58
this is a 38 year old woman or whatever
00:55:01
she is
00:55:02
so i go on our instagram because i'm
00:55:03
seeing all these conspiracy theories
00:55:04
online
00:55:06
and i'm like let's check this out this
00:55:08
is this real is just [ __ ]
00:55:10
but here's what's wild listen how she is
00:55:13
this is what's great two things
00:55:14
one how old do you think she was when
00:55:16
him baby hit me one more time came out
00:55:19
16. 16. was she 16. she was 16 in that
00:55:23
video with like a school girl outfit
00:55:25
dancing all sexy and [ __ ] yeah i've seen
00:55:26
that video many times so they trap
00:55:30
so they trapped it was on mtv i was on
00:55:32
mtv the whole time and i loved it yeah
00:55:34
yeah yeah i didn't like it
00:55:35
i loved mtv no i didn't like the video
00:55:37
yeah you did you love the song
00:55:38
you love getting it did you like the
00:55:40
song love the song
00:55:42
my loneliness is killing me
00:55:45
yeah so i love that yeah so she she was
00:55:48
trapped in this child
00:55:50
world of being exploited and now
00:55:53
she speaks like a child listen how crazy
00:55:56
this is this is not real
00:55:57
this is all real this is her that's her
00:55:59
instagram i want to show you this is her
00:56:00
instagram i saw the dancing one of the
00:56:01
dancing you saw this one the one where
00:56:03
she dances yeah i'm not mocking her by
00:56:05
the way because i think this is mental
00:56:06
illness like
00:56:07
and i mean that because [ __ ] the
00:56:09
house though what kanye's going through
00:56:11
is the same thing he's having a public
00:56:12
meltdown
00:56:13
right yeah but like i'm not mocking or
00:56:15
dancing but this feels okay here this
00:56:17
feels strange
00:56:17
feels strange it's beautiful i literally
00:56:20
almost cried
00:56:21
what it's i think it's great it just
00:56:23
feels something feels awesome
00:56:24
something feels off it's the opposite of
00:56:26
freedom do you this feels not free
00:56:28
if you something feels off to me what do
00:56:30
you mean i feel like
00:56:31
another one i don't know this feels okay
00:56:33
here you go answering question questions
00:56:35
and by the way she won't answer all the
00:56:37
fans are like what's up with the
00:56:38
conservatorship like people are worried
00:56:40
about you hashtag free britney
00:56:41
and she won't answer any but like listen
00:56:43
also listen how child she sounds like a
00:56:45
baby
00:56:45
listen to this her baby voice
00:56:49
hi guys so a lot of you have been asking
00:56:51
me more questions in the comments and
00:56:52
i'm here to answer all of your questions
00:56:54
so the first main question that you guys
00:56:56
have been asking me is what's my
00:56:57
favorite disney
00:56:58
movie my favorite disney movie is
00:57:00
probably frozen just because i really
00:57:02
like the fact that the two sisters
00:57:04
um their relationship and then one goes
00:57:05
off and lives in a castle just because
00:57:07
she can't deal anymore
00:57:08
um my favorite movie movie is probably a
00:57:11
ferris bueller's day off
00:57:13
um what time do i go to sleep i go to
00:57:15
sleep between 11 30 and 12.
00:57:17
it's it's like a babe it's like a child
00:57:20
ah
00:57:20
it's it's the same thing it's just it
00:57:24
feels like
00:57:25
what happened to michael j fox
00:57:29
no he got it that was a shake michael
00:57:31
jackson michael jackson oh
00:57:33
[Laughter]
00:57:35
michael j fox you know yeah yeah but no
00:57:37
um
00:57:38
it feels like this this is the honest
00:57:40
truth yeah
00:57:41
is i feel like when you're developing
00:57:45
yes in your child development years yes
00:57:48
especially
00:57:48
you know in your teens early teens
00:57:51
you they're just i feel like those two
00:57:56
was they were just exposed with fame
00:57:59
exploited exploited they were fortunate
00:58:02
yeah
00:58:02
they can't um that's where you learn
00:58:06
you know who you are development you
00:58:09
know
00:58:09
yes in your mind this so they were
00:58:11
trapped they were trapped
00:58:13
and that's why michael talked like a kid
00:58:15
and he would play with kids and like
00:58:17
they just don't know how to function
00:58:18
but this is so this is another one this
00:58:20
is a let me show you just this one more
00:58:22
the way she says stuff is just
00:58:26
okay so a lot of my fans have been
00:58:28
asking me a lot of questions during my
00:58:30
comments
00:58:30
i listened and so now i'm gonna answer
00:58:32
all of your questions
00:58:33
the first question that you mainly asked
00:58:35
me is what my favorite song is
00:58:37
my favorite song is toxic that i have
00:58:39
done and i have no idea what my favorite
00:58:40
song
00:58:41
stop for a second stop for a second i
00:58:42
can't see the way she's shaking back and
00:58:44
forth
00:58:44
yes she's on medication my favorite
00:58:47
place to visit is hawaii and turks and
00:58:49
caicos
00:58:50
turks and caicos is a little bit more
00:58:52
jungly and more
00:58:53
um tropical um there's not that many
00:58:56
people
00:58:56
there it's a small island and it
00:58:58
basically has the cleanest
00:59:00
food the most beautiful ocean the spot
00:59:03
is amazing hold on here we go my
00:59:04
favorite place to visit yes
00:59:06
okay what's my favorite food is a chili
00:59:09
hot dog
00:59:10
and then um if i had three wishes what
00:59:12
would they be
00:59:13
for love happiness and a world supply of
00:59:16
designer clothes
00:59:17
that's it love my three wishes love
00:59:20
happiness and a world supply of designer
00:59:23
clothes
00:59:24
yeah that like this is strange
00:59:27
mine's love yeah happiness yeah and
00:59:32
warzone so i mean if you you know i mean
00:59:35
if you
00:59:35
you were and japanese raw denim you were
00:59:38
also an abused
00:59:39
young yeah trapped exploited person yeah
00:59:42
i just feel something's wrong it feels
00:59:44
strange
00:59:44
it feels like like this even this photo
00:59:47
that's like a scary f
00:59:48
that looks scary yeah it looks like i'm
00:59:51
like i'm ever i'm not okay
00:59:53
but just imagine being here yeah
00:59:56
right at 16 being like the most famous
00:59:59
thing on earth because i remember in
01:00:02
in one of the michael jackson
01:00:03
documentary where he was just kind of
01:00:05
like
01:00:06
can i meet her like he wanted to meet
01:00:08
her
01:00:09
yeah and do so that's how big she was
01:00:12
yeah when michael jackson
01:00:14
wants to meet you either you're a boy
01:00:17
that's it or you're a boy or yeah he
01:00:19
thinks he can make you look like a boy
01:00:20
or you know you're super like famous do
01:00:22
you think i can make your girl turn into
01:00:24
a boy
01:00:24
[Laughter]
01:00:27
yeah yeah so and she was that big
01:00:30
she was massive massive where but then
01:00:33
when she had a breakdown
01:00:35
she she she publicly had a meltdown and
01:00:38
they put her under this conservatorship
01:00:40
and they say it's not a big deal usa
01:00:42
today did an article new york times did
01:00:43
an article i mean this is very this is
01:00:45
like
01:00:45
a a known thing her family is like this
01:00:48
is being exploded out of proportion this
01:00:50
isn't true
01:00:51
but you look at a lot of this stuff it
01:00:53
looks like it's a cro it's like a weird
01:00:54
lonely
01:00:56
it's strange it's like amanda bynes
01:00:58
right that was mental health too
01:01:00
right this like the kanye thing did you
01:01:01
watch kanye with dave chappelle on the
01:01:03
ranch
01:01:03
no what it's the saddest it's the
01:01:06
weirdest
01:01:07
did you know did you know about this no
01:01:09
chappelle went to go see kanye to go
01:01:11
like just
01:01:12
see how he's doing because kanye had
01:01:14
that do you see all the presidential
01:01:15
he did like yeah but did you see like he
01:01:18
did like a speech and was like i almost
01:01:19
killed my daughter and he was bawling
01:01:21
and
01:01:21
no i'm sorry you gotta watch all this
01:01:23
stuff but dave goes to his ranch
01:01:26
[Laughter]
01:01:28
trump's senior advisor he's
01:01:31
but he dave goes out there to like check
01:01:33
in on him flies flies in
01:01:35
and they're standing in front of the
01:01:36
video and they're just like he's like
01:01:38
dave say something funny and dave's like
01:01:40
what what do you mean he's like do
01:01:42
something funny we all need
01:01:43
we need happiness right now yeah and it
01:01:46
just i know anything i don't know i know
01:01:47
this i was in the desert so
01:01:49
i know it just it's a it's an
01:01:51
unfortunately weird video and it's like
01:01:55
it's on his twitter it's really weird
01:01:58
man
01:01:58
here we go all right dave can you please
01:02:02
just make a smile the world needs some
01:02:04
you know we need some
01:02:06
some joy yeah we need a smile
01:02:10
brotherhood is real love is real
01:02:15
wait a second i still not smiling bro i
01:02:18
was
01:02:20
we need some kind of some joke something
01:02:22
like just something to like lift our
01:02:24
spirits
01:02:25
oh [ __ ] [ __ ] i don't know
01:02:28
i'm still on my first cup of coffee
01:02:30
[ __ ] all right let me take a good joke
01:02:46
he's losing his mind
01:02:49
hey what's up what is this what is going
01:02:52
on like bringing a new guy
01:02:54
is it arsenio
01:02:55
[Laughter]
01:02:58
it's not even a photo
01:03:01
uplifting joke you know i don't right
01:03:03
now
01:03:07
okay that's a laugh
01:03:14
and they walk away and he literally goes
01:03:16
all right man peace like he gets on a
01:03:18
plane and he leaves again
01:03:19
yeah it was like a photo op i mean like
01:03:22
yeah
01:03:23
to kanye dave was going there to
01:03:24
probably genuinely check on and be like
01:03:26
bro are you okay
01:03:27
yeah i'm wondering about kanye is does i
01:03:30
mean i don't know the dynamics between
01:03:32
kim and kanye but you know it's obvious
01:03:35
to me that he has
01:03:37
you know mental health mental health
01:03:39
health issues yeah he needs to be on
01:03:40
medication
01:03:41
i don't know what his diagnosis is is it
01:03:44
bipolarism
01:03:45
i think he said he was bipolar bipolar
01:03:46
he gets his manic episodes yeah yeah
01:03:48
right
01:03:48
yeah so um i'm wondering i mean if let's
01:03:52
say
01:03:52
kalila had these mental you know
01:03:55
yeah i would and we were that rich right
01:03:59
what would you do
01:03:59
i would hire somebody just just that
01:04:03
you're
01:04:03
the pill guy you're the guy yeah that's
01:04:06
what a conservatorship is that which
01:04:07
britney spears
01:04:08
maybe yeah yeah yeah i go tito
01:04:12
frank margot it will be a woman margot
01:04:15
yeah
01:04:16
yeah margot you're she takes the pills
01:04:20
in the morning yep at night and if she
01:04:23
doesn't you have to see it go down her
01:04:25
[ __ ] throat
01:04:26
yeah and if she doesn't eat that [ __ ]
01:04:28
you're fired
01:04:31
and margo's gonna be like all right yeah
01:04:33
and that's her job
01:04:35
and i'll pay her 200 000 a year just to
01:04:38
be the pill girl i don't give a [ __ ]
01:04:39
that's
01:04:40
that's how important it is yeah if
01:04:41
kalila was in the public eye
01:04:44
right and i'm in the public eye
01:04:47
and it's our job to have a certain
01:04:51
presence an image yeah right because
01:04:54
kanye
01:04:55
starts going into these mania and that's
01:04:57
when he goes to trump
01:04:58
where's the make america you know well
01:05:01
it's attention seeking
01:05:02
it's he goes and then he goes when he
01:05:03
went into a [ __ ] remember he went to
01:05:05
an
01:05:06
iphone uh mac store yeah
01:05:09
walk on stood on one of those tables i
01:05:11
know if i stood on a table at a mac
01:05:14
store
01:05:16
security right imagine well everyone
01:05:19
would pull out their phone and go what
01:05:20
is bobby lee gonna do
01:05:21
right if they wouldn't know they're like
01:05:23
what's this fat asian guy they don't
01:05:24
know bobby lee
01:05:25
yeah they do yeah they don't know bobby
01:05:27
lee yes they don't
01:05:28
they don't yes they do you walk in the
01:05:30
apple store they go bobby lee
01:05:32
i have two dudes i'll have two dudes and
01:05:34
okay if i go to mac store
01:05:36
two two asian nerds going oh big tiger
01:05:38
belly fans and they just hide in the
01:05:39
corner no
01:05:40
i've had this yeah hey man
01:05:43
you should have had more than one line
01:05:45
in the wrong missy because it's true
01:05:47
that's the kind of recognition i get
01:05:49
that that's real fans
01:05:50
no that's real things that's not real
01:05:52
fantastic that's real fans
01:05:53
but um so like i would have
01:05:56
a [ __ ] if i was kim i would have just
01:05:59
a pill guy
01:06:00
yeah but this is an issue this is an
01:06:02
issue that's greater than we could ever
01:06:04
imagine why because it goes deep like
01:06:06
this is a deep weird cut
01:06:08
kanye is kanye is
01:06:11
more famous than famous he's he is
01:06:14
he he is a name that's synonymous with
01:06:16
our industry not just
01:06:18
music anymore so he's a shoe mogul he's
01:06:20
like
01:06:21
people that know nothing about him know
01:06:23
him he's
01:06:24
baton there's layers of that i know
01:06:26
there's so much to unpack it's hard and
01:06:28
this is gonna be a very difficult thing
01:06:30
to say but um
01:06:31
and people are gonna maybe argue with me
01:06:33
but
01:06:34
time will tell like for instance there
01:06:37
was a time when
01:06:38
britney spears was kanye
01:06:41
in terms of that kind of fame no
01:06:45
britney spears was super famous not like
01:06:48
kanye
01:06:49
kanye and especially because now kanye
01:06:51
married the most famous family
01:06:52
in hollywood right you're right so there
01:06:54
now he's the roof right
01:06:56
okay but i would have to argue that
01:06:58
britney was up there she was she would
01:07:00
go to nigeria
01:07:02
and just go into a village and go do you
01:07:04
know who britney spears is
01:07:05
like we have her shirts yeah they would
01:07:07
have been there right so
01:07:09
i don't know now we're talking you know
01:07:11
so who's fame who's my family i don't
01:07:13
know 15 years from now
01:07:14
yeah there might be a time a moment in
01:07:18
life
01:07:18
where most people don't know who he is
01:07:21
yeah
01:07:22
time will tell i don't i don't think i i
01:07:24
don't think so i think he's i think he's
01:07:26
going to last for a long time i just i'm
01:07:27
afraid that
01:07:28
this is the kind of stuff that hollywood
01:07:29
does and they don't give a [ __ ] about it
01:07:31
they did this to this guy the system
01:07:33
this weird game
01:07:35
also i think marrying into that family
01:07:36
is the most toxic [ __ ] on earth
01:07:38
i think being a part of that family is
01:07:40
what ruined him 100
01:07:43
100 what a crazy backwards family of
01:07:46
people that are billionaires
01:07:48
for being popular
01:07:52
well let's i want to i've never really
01:07:55
said this but
01:07:58
what is their talent the kardashians
01:08:02
i'll tell you is captivating america
01:08:06
with looks and presence they're able to
01:08:10
sell uh themselves as a whole i
01:08:13
i am the look that you want i do the
01:08:15
things that you want to do
01:08:17
they're images that's a talent they sell
01:08:19
images okay
01:08:20
it's i i'll obviously it is talented
01:08:22
because it worked because there's a
01:08:24
there was it's not a talent like your
01:08:25
stand-up comic
01:08:27
i'm not saying i'm not i'm not it has
01:08:30
something to do with me i'm just asking
01:08:32
a question yeah no no
01:08:33
because i you know one day this is what
01:08:36
happens
01:08:37
you wake up i remember one time this is
01:08:39
a long time ago maybe 15 years ago
01:08:41
yeah where i was i went to this a
01:08:43
meeting
01:08:45
that's in um cedar which is you know in
01:08:48
that hospital
01:08:48
yeah and but next to it it's like rodeo
01:08:51
and all that stuff right
01:08:52
and i was getting when you go to cedar
01:08:54
sinai the hospital
01:08:56
this this amy is on a sunday if you walk
01:08:59
two blocks
01:09:00
on robertson there's a [ __ ] starbucks
01:09:02
there i know it so i would go to that
01:09:03
starbucks
01:09:04
and one time i would i saw
01:09:07
these three girls walking down and then
01:09:10
paparazzi taking photos
01:09:13
and then i remember going to another a
01:09:14
guy going what the [ __ ] who are they
01:09:17
oh those are the kardashians you don't
01:09:18
know them i never at that time i'd never
01:09:20
heard of them
01:09:21
yeah and then over the years you just
01:09:23
kind of go you hear the name
01:09:25
and then you see the billboards yeah and
01:09:27
you turn on the tv
01:09:28
and it and they're the center of the
01:09:30
universe almost yeah
01:09:31
and but still the whole time you're
01:09:33
asking what do they do
01:09:35
what how do i see their talent
01:09:39
it's not it's not for me for me to
01:09:41
become a fan
01:09:42
it's not a tangible talent it's not like
01:09:44
something so weird i know look i i spent
01:09:46
time hating it years ago
01:09:48
being like ugh gross and now i just go
01:09:50
no
01:09:51
that's no it's a talent they're selling
01:09:53
something that people are buying so
01:09:55
who's to blame
01:09:56
so sure if i had that i would do it i
01:09:58
just don't have it
01:09:59
if you could just sell being bobby as a
01:10:01
look and be a billionaire if i could
01:10:03
just stand
01:10:03
like on you know rodeo drive
01:10:08
bobby over here bobby over here bobby
01:10:11
bobby right here
01:10:13
and then they sell like i'll do some
01:10:14
hand thing like this right
01:10:16
and they'll sell like photos and then
01:10:18
maybe moldings of the hand
01:10:21
yeah and this is a thing if you if
01:10:23
anybody on earth could sell themselves
01:10:25
just as who they are yeah uh i guess
01:10:27
that is make a billion dollars doing
01:10:29
or is it luck no there's
01:10:33
the mother is the great puppeteer she's
01:10:35
the master manipulator he's the one
01:10:36
she's the wizard she's the wizard she's
01:10:38
she's behind the curtain wizard
01:10:40
yeah yeah i'll sell my daughters to
01:10:42
playboy i mean that was the whole thing
01:10:43
is they sold her sex tape and then she
01:10:45
got famous after the sex tape and then
01:10:47
the sisters got famous because they
01:10:48
transformed on camera into like these
01:10:50
these uh uh then they then they were the
01:10:52
ones that started doing the butt
01:10:53
implants and all that that became like a
01:10:55
thing because they were part of this
01:10:58
it's crazy yeah yeah it's just um
01:11:00
because there's no way to like
01:11:02
there is no what sucks about that you
01:11:04
know yeah
01:11:05
it's there's no like there's no road to
01:11:08
that
01:11:09
like for instance it's an accident if
01:11:10
you want to become like you know you can
01:11:12
be a kid and go
01:11:13
i want to be in a cool [ __ ] band yeah
01:11:16
so then you just
01:11:16
you're in your garage playing riff and
01:11:18
getting your car all night practicing
01:11:20
all night long right and you get other
01:11:22
people to do it
01:11:23
and you experiment with sounds right and
01:11:26
you just
01:11:26
hard work you're on tour you know and
01:11:28
that's a path right as a stand-up
01:11:30
we have a path as an actor there's
01:11:32
always a path but with them
01:11:34
it's like i want to be known
01:11:37
yeah and how do you and you just stand
01:11:39
well now kids want to be social
01:11:41
influencers that's what it is
01:11:43
oh i just found out about that social
01:11:45
influence you're an influence
01:11:47
ago i didn't really know what an
01:11:49
influencer was well you're an influencer
01:11:52
you know what you're really you know
01:11:54
today i've been trying no you're an
01:11:55
influencer i've been trying with you
01:11:56
dude but you're really trying to [ __ ]
01:11:57
get at me i'm saying
01:11:59
people like what you do so that so
01:12:00
that's i'm not an influencer you're an
01:12:02
influencer
01:12:03
influencing people to do what nothing
01:12:07
yep i influence people to do nothing
01:12:10
no you influence people love your
01:12:11
hairstyle that there's a bunch of kids
01:12:13
online that are doing your hairstyle now
01:12:16
what are you on your mind there's a ton
01:12:17
of kids there's little korean kids
01:12:18
they're doing your hair
01:12:19
oh it's they're probably your influencer
01:12:21
there maybe your kids are too [ __ ]
01:12:23
going to cats and like taking off cat
01:12:25
hair and just putting on their eyebrows
01:12:27
right that's what they're doing get
01:12:28
gluing into their eyebrows and they're
01:12:30
looking in the mirror and you have a
01:12:31
tangible putting [ __ ]
01:12:33
real weird freckles little poop marks
01:12:34
yeah poop marks right
01:12:36
and then also doing this like how do i
01:12:38
become like that
01:12:40
i want to be angry like him i ate me and
01:12:43
[ __ ] you you know man they're doing that
01:12:45
you're influenced people as well look
01:12:46
you have a tangible talent no i don't
01:12:48
yeah you do all right fine extremely
01:12:50
funny it's hard for
01:12:52
it's hard for people to understand what
01:12:53
their talent is and that's fine people
01:12:54
don't like them
01:12:55
my point is it's pretty brilliant that
01:12:57
it worked okay pretty brilliant that it
01:12:59
worked
01:13:00
i i get what you're saying here's all
01:13:01
right so let's just get into it
01:13:03
all right you know when i because i
01:13:06
sometimes ask myself
01:13:08
um like what is my talent
01:13:12
and you're a [ __ ] kid no but listen
01:13:13
when i'm doing this like right now
01:13:15
right what i have to remind myself is
01:13:18
just just be yourself
01:13:20
just it doesn't matter because you know
01:13:22
you can't in podcasting
01:13:24
i know people listen to some people
01:13:26
listen to my [ __ ] and they go
01:13:28
yeah he doesn't really know much or you
01:13:30
know he says words wrong but that's just
01:13:32
me just saying
01:13:33
[ __ ] it i just i don't care no filter no
01:13:36
say words wrong
01:13:37
yeah i don't know how to pronounce
01:13:39
certain words but i guess their
01:13:40
the kardashians are just being
01:13:42
themselves
01:13:43
or what they want to or what they may be
01:13:46
that's no i think that that's
01:13:47
essentially who they are maybe
01:13:49
you know their father was a huge lawyer
01:13:52
mm-hmm so they come from money and he
01:13:55
and he rep
01:13:55
probably the oj yeah right
01:13:59
right didn't he rap okay amongst many
01:14:01
other cases yeah
01:14:02
yeah many other huge and the oj thing
01:14:05
crazy he was crazy yeah he never did
01:14:07
anything anything wrong he's just a nice
01:14:09
sweet dude
01:14:10
he played football what he is that is he
01:14:12
in prison for a heisman trophy
01:14:14
that's probably what they got him for
01:14:16
being too good
01:14:17
yeah he didn't do it do you think oj
01:14:20
killed his wife rude
01:14:22
i don't know about that i know wait wait
01:14:24
she doesn't know who oj
01:14:25
i know get closer to the mic
01:14:29
do you know who oj simpson is no
01:14:32
wow wow you never heard of o.j simpson
01:14:35
at all can i see his face
01:14:36
no no no you can't see his face no
01:14:38
that's going to then you're just going
01:14:39
to take it
01:14:40
let me ask you this just by based on the
01:14:42
name you think he's
01:14:44
a white guy black oh wow why is that why
01:14:47
is that
01:14:48
i don't know so oj oj
01:14:51
what do you think oj stands for i don't
01:14:53
know
01:14:55
orange juice no do you know what oj
01:14:58
stands for
01:14:59
aren't all james james yeah aren't all
01:15:01
james now if i told you aren't all james
01:15:03
simpson was
01:15:04
does that sound like a black guy or
01:15:05
white guy white guy yeah
01:15:07
what do you think he did
01:15:10
you just said that he killed his wife no
01:15:12
he did not not
01:15:13
kill his wife it's hearsay and it's
01:15:16
[ __ ]
01:15:17
all right let's how about all right
01:15:19
you're 18. you're 18. so
01:15:21
911. yeah i know but you know but you
01:15:24
you weren't here
01:15:25
that's crazy let me let me ask you about
01:15:27
this um you knew who rodney king is
01:15:30
no no that was the night wow it doesn't
01:15:32
matter it's like i know who rosa parks
01:15:34
is
01:15:34
i don't that happened who's rosa park is
01:15:37
that our landlord no
01:15:38
that's not the old puerto rican woman
01:15:39
that's right you know the triangle the
01:15:42
musical
01:15:42
oh the triangle the triangle yeah she
01:15:45
invented that
01:15:46
nice no so um so no you don't know who
01:15:49
that is so
01:15:49
what else is another big thing well i'm
01:15:51
trying to think of something like
01:15:52
obviously
01:15:53
obviously oliver north no that's
01:15:54
probably you know who martin luther king
01:15:56
was
01:15:56
yeah i mean there's names that she'll
01:15:58
obviously just recognize historical
01:15:59
names that are
01:16:00
where were you when jfk got shot
01:16:04
do you know who jfk was yeah but i was
01:16:06
on my dad
01:16:07
i was in my dad's testicles testicles
01:16:09
yeah yeah
01:16:12
i know a female comic yeah so she was
01:16:15
playing at a club the san jose improv
01:16:18
love i love that room great room and
01:16:20
when she showed up at the club
01:16:22
very popular comic she goes where's the
01:16:26
gum
01:16:27
like she has a writer yeah she has a
01:16:31
list of 10 things
01:16:32
that if that's not in the room she's
01:16:34
going to lose her mind
01:16:36
she goes where is the japanese gum
01:16:39
they go the club goes the japanese gum
01:16:41
you asked for they don't
01:16:42
sell it in san jose and we had to we
01:16:46
we didn't have time to go to san
01:16:47
francisco to get it she's like well i'm
01:16:50
not doing the show
01:16:53
really sort of got because you needed
01:16:54
the gum to do your comedy bit
01:16:56
that's not me no i'm saying that out i
01:16:58
know but i'm just telling you this i
01:16:59
don't know and i'm just saying it to the
01:17:00
universe
01:17:00
right and so they go please do the show
01:17:03
it's so loud
01:17:05
in my writer it says i need the gum yeah
01:17:08
right and my writer says i'm an [ __ ]
01:17:10
no yeah i'm an [ __ ] no
01:17:12
you're not getting the point of it no
01:17:13
the point is you do stand-up comedy
01:17:16
and you don't need gum to do it you
01:17:18
[ __ ] brag
01:17:19
[ __ ] brat all right go ahead so they
01:17:22
go okay
01:17:22
if you do the show tonight right mm-hmm
01:17:25
we
01:17:26
if you do the show tonight we'll get
01:17:27
we'll get the go so the next she does a
01:17:29
show
01:17:30
they had this [ __ ] guy kid drive to
01:17:32
san francisco drive to san francisco and
01:17:34
it's one of the rarest japanese gum
01:17:38
you could ever find he went to like 30
01:17:40
different places
01:17:42
and he finally he finally found it sure
01:17:45
it was a six-pack it was the last one
01:17:46
they had
01:17:47
he rested it took him eight hours to run
01:17:50
back she sticks it in the
01:17:51
green room monday when they cleaning out
01:17:53
the green room she didn't even touch it
01:17:54
yeah that's so [ __ ] rude and
01:17:56
disrespectful to the guy that had to go
01:17:57
get it
01:17:58
the moral of the story is get the gum
01:18:01
get the gum [ __ ] that yeah that's the
01:18:03
gum
01:18:04
that's the moral yeah let me tell you
01:18:05
let me and when i in fact when i went
01:18:08
there
01:18:08
a month afterwards i went to the green
01:18:10
room because my rider
01:18:12
has zero on it nothing no good
01:18:15
all i need i don't even need a green
01:18:17
room i need
01:18:19
a bottle of water and just have like the
01:18:21
mic working
01:18:22
yeah right we're comedians yeah so
01:18:24
that's what my writer is
01:18:26
so the manner was like oh man last month
01:18:29
tells me the story and i looked him
01:18:31
right in the eye and i said
01:18:33
you she got the gum huh she got the gum
01:18:36
i go no when before she got there you
01:18:39
should got the gun before
01:18:40
she got there huh he's like yeah i go
01:18:43
yeah
01:18:44
no yeah i disagree wholeheartedly fine
01:18:47
if what you're asking for if what you're
01:18:51
asking for
01:18:52
has nothing to do with your performance
01:18:54
yeah that idea of babying people has to
01:18:56
go away
01:18:57
no but my point wasn't just that i think
01:18:59
what she did was ludicrous
01:19:01
yes and insane yeah but
01:19:04
their reaction right could have been
01:19:08
different
01:19:09
no they could have been laughed laughed
01:19:11
it off that's just the way it is
01:19:13
what they should have said was it's just
01:19:14
the way we're not gonna go get you your
01:19:16
gum some things will never change
01:19:18
because you don't deserve it it's just
01:19:20
the way it's cause you're not even that
01:19:21
good of a comedian something's what
01:19:23
that's what sells more tickets than i do
01:19:25
doesn't matter she sells more tickets
01:19:27
than i do
01:19:28
so that's you know how about this how
01:19:30
about this
01:19:31
if i was a club manager okay you're
01:19:34
you're the person
01:19:35
okay ask me about the gum you coming hey
01:19:36
how was everything are you ready for the
01:19:38
big show tonight and we're excited that
01:19:39
you're here
01:19:40
oh i'm playing her yeah um
01:19:46
i'm not really that excited because oh
01:19:47
my god is something wrong what happened
01:19:48
yeah yeah i
01:19:50
have a writer yes and we got we got
01:19:52
everything that you had on your rider
01:19:54
there is the uh ph balance bottle of
01:19:56
water that you asked for
01:19:57
uh over there is uh laffy taffy's we
01:20:00
know you love laffy taffies and we only
01:20:01
got your banana cause you're a big
01:20:02
banana girl
01:20:04
well they're banana girl yeah it's funny
01:20:06
and also we got you down we left that
01:20:07
off you left that off but
01:20:08
what on the writer it does say banana so
01:20:11
that's why you got it
01:20:12
yeah we know you're a banana no it's not
01:20:15
you know that i am it's just it's on the
01:20:16
[ __ ] right right on youtube [ __ ]
01:20:18
okay we know if you want a job uh-huh
01:20:20
and i
01:20:21
lose the attitude oh there is no
01:20:23
attitude because i make sure we also got
01:20:25
you tonight
01:20:27
no i'm talking stop don't talk to me
01:20:29
like a child
01:20:30
really i'll call robert hartman and you
01:20:32
will be fired
01:20:34
call him see that you wouldn't be a good
01:20:36
manager no
01:20:37
i think he wouldn't be a good man no
01:20:38
because i don't couch that this is what
01:20:40
she would do
01:20:41
okay so here we keep going you have so
01:20:43
we got you everything that was on your
01:20:44
right except for where's the japanese
01:20:45
gum
01:20:46
what japanese gum was there japanese gum
01:20:47
on the right look at the writer okay let
01:20:49
me look real quick
01:20:50
we got that it's the tenth thing it's a
01:20:52
ten thing it's the ten things yeah
01:20:54
dang we must not have got it can we get
01:20:55
you other kinds of gum there no i'm not
01:20:57
doing the show cause i want the gum
01:20:59
oh wow you you won't do the show just
01:21:01
because of the yeah and guess what
01:21:03
i'll play all the other impromps there
01:21:06
are no consequences
01:21:07
right because i make you guys so [ __ ]
01:21:10
much money
01:21:11
and this attitude is what needs to
01:21:13
change no no i wouldn't let's because
01:21:14
not only let's get into the scene
01:21:16
not on the scene stay in the scene okay
01:21:18
stay in the scene i think you're super
01:21:19
disrespectful
01:21:20
yeah i think that's really how about
01:21:21
this as disrespectful
01:21:23
i could call all the powers of b
01:21:26
judy brown all the people i can right
01:21:29
who have anything to do with levity live
01:21:31
or the improv
01:21:33
and you'll not work here again let me
01:21:35
let me okay
01:21:36
and that's fine
01:21:41
a nice person i um only asked for time
01:21:42
not a nice person because we didn't get
01:21:43
you gum and now you're throwing a fit
01:21:44
about not going on stage because you're
01:21:45
a [ __ ] baby now act like a [ __ ]
01:21:47
adult
01:21:48
now act like a [ __ ] adult and go do
01:21:50
your goddamn [ __ ] comedy bit
01:21:51
that isn't that [ __ ] funny because
01:21:53
you'll burn out in [ __ ] 10 years
01:21:55
your dog [ __ ] as a comic i've seen 30
01:21:57
000 of you pieces of [ __ ] come and go
01:21:59
this thing doesn't last you mean nothing
01:22:01
go do your jokes [ __ ] or go back to l.a
01:22:04
[ __ ] off that's what i would do wow
01:22:07
that really got to you no but that's the
01:22:09
kind of that's what needs that's what
01:22:10
people like that need to hear
01:22:12
you're not important [ __ ] you mean
01:22:14
nothing you will go away
01:22:16
your comedy thing that you think is so
01:22:17
important is fleeting [ __ ]
01:22:19
you're a fleeting thing they all quit
01:22:22
they all die
01:22:23
you go away your little [ __ ] gum that
01:22:26
has nothing to do with your bad act
01:22:28
is worthless and meaningless like you so
01:22:30
shut the [ __ ] up
01:22:32
go do your jokes take your money and go
01:22:34
back to your [ __ ] house
01:22:36
and [ __ ] off that's what i would say wow
01:22:39
and if a comedy club and if a comedy i
01:22:41
gotcha and if comedy club had that kind
01:22:42
of owner and manager i would respect the
01:22:44
[ __ ] out of them
01:22:45
because anyone close in two weeks no no
01:22:47
it wouldn't because top
01:22:49
top owners they know how to treat talent
01:22:51
well without being disrespected
01:22:53
wendy at comedy works would never put up
01:22:55
with you treating her staff like [ __ ]
01:22:56
never if you [ __ ] with her she'd go
01:22:59
[ __ ] you're out
01:23:00
you'll never come back you treat someone
01:23:02
in their staff like [ __ ]
01:23:03
bye [ __ ] you don't come back to my club
01:23:06
because every other comic will who does
01:23:09
treat people well
01:23:10
will keep coming back and we'll do fine
01:23:12
without you this little girl that you're
01:23:14
talking about who means nothing in the
01:23:15
grand scheme of things
01:23:16
there's thousands of other better comics
01:23:19
bye you don't come back to my club
01:23:21
bye i love it i got to you didn't i yeah
01:23:25
i didn't i get you i got you there
01:23:28
that's how i feel i know that's how i
01:23:29
feel
01:23:30
that's all i wanted to do with gets that
01:23:32
story is to get you there
01:23:34
i don't like people that do [ __ ] like
01:23:36
that i know i do [ __ ] arenas with joe
01:23:38
rogan i've never
01:23:39
ever once seen him complain about what's
01:23:41
in the [ __ ] green room
01:23:43
never guess what when we show up he's
01:23:46
had the same rider for 20 [ __ ] years
01:23:48
he doesn't even care what's in there
01:23:50
they'll go joe we got you the um
01:23:52
this the deli meat and the um sam adams
01:23:56
can i get you guys anything else and
01:23:57
he'll go no man we're good
01:23:59
we usually don't even [ __ ] touch the
01:24:00
[ __ ] in the it usually gets untouched
01:24:02
unless someone comes in
01:24:03
after the show and goes hey can i grab a
01:24:05
red bull or can i have a
01:24:07
whatever and he goes yeah yeah whatever
01:24:09
it doesn't it doesn't matter
01:24:10
it doesn't matter i did a show real
01:24:13
common
01:24:14
i did a show once it was a theater show
01:24:16
and i can't tell you who was
01:24:18
involved but they wouldn't let me in the
01:24:19
green room there was too many people
01:24:22
the the headliner wouldn't know it was
01:24:24
six it was one of those shows there was
01:24:25
six comics and stuff
01:24:26
oh right and it was just so many people
01:24:28
and i just
01:24:30
hung out just outside in this alleyway
01:24:33
on a stool smoking a cigarette
01:24:34
they wouldn't let you in because no they
01:24:36
did they would but it was so many people
01:24:38
it was so congested
01:24:39
and i remember they're coming out going
01:24:41
somebody worked that working for the
01:24:42
theater goes can i find you another
01:24:44
i'm fine back here but you want to go
01:24:47
but didn't it bother you no
01:24:49
that didn't hurt that didn't bother you
01:24:50
to know that like you couldn't be there
01:24:51
be there with your peers
01:24:53
that's disrespectful bro i have a story
01:24:56
that i i can't say it
01:24:58
i know but i can't i don't want to get
01:24:59
this person in trouble
01:25:01
say it this is going to drive you crazy
01:25:04
maybe
01:25:05
yeah well i want to hear it there's a
01:25:06
kid that opened for me
01:25:08
and he goes um and they're doing a
01:25:10
documentary about his life
01:25:12
yeah so i was playing the ontario
01:25:15
improv and gosh that burp
01:25:20
yeah comes through clear it's nice pull
01:25:22
up
01:25:23
so um he comes with ontario improv and
01:25:26
he goes
01:25:28
he brings in a crew of five or six
01:25:30
people
01:25:31
what do you mean friends no they're
01:25:33
shooting a documentary on bottom oh okay
01:25:36
so he's sitting in the green room and
01:25:38
then they all order
01:25:40
from the restaurant so they're all
01:25:43
eating in there yeah the server comes
01:25:44
and they go can you get you guys
01:25:45
anything and they're not drinking drinks
01:25:47
they're shooting sure and i walked in
01:25:48
there i was just like hey what's up man
01:25:50
he's uh just shooting man okay
01:25:54
can you hey and then he goes hey man
01:25:57
we're shooting can you close the door
01:25:59
and he's opening for you
01:26:00
yeah there you go okay and i closed the
01:26:04
door
01:26:04
and i just sat in the hallway in the
01:26:07
back
01:26:08
it's your green room i know why wouldn't
01:26:10
you say you guys just can't shoot in
01:26:11
here did they ask you or talk to you
01:26:13
then i remember
01:26:13
at the end of the night the manager was
01:26:16
like dude they spent like
01:26:18
eighteen hundred dollars worth of
01:26:19
[ __ ] food and drinks
01:26:22
i could just take it out of my thing you
01:26:24
paid for that yeah
01:26:25
bob yeah that's not okay well he was
01:26:28
dying
01:26:29
but he's not dead is he no so you should
01:26:32
send him a
01:26:35
i bill that's that is not okay
01:26:38
i know but he was dying apparently from
01:26:40
what i heard
01:26:42
that's why i did it he's dying yeah but
01:26:44
that but
01:26:45
but people need to know that that
01:26:46
stuff's not okay and i want to go to him
01:26:49
now and go hey man i thought you were
01:26:51
supposed to be dead
01:26:54
you know he's like nah he has it you
01:26:56
were supposed to die you're supposed to
01:26:58
[ __ ] die man
01:26:58
if you don't die yeah
01:27:02
just the people's you know god you got
01:27:03
me with that story
01:27:05
you got me i did it just gets me amped
01:27:07
up about people who have attitudes in
01:27:09
this business for no reason oh well you
01:27:10
know what's worse
01:27:11
is eddie griffin's thing you know his
01:27:14
no eddie griffin has a thing as every
01:27:17
show
01:27:18
you need to give me number size 11
01:27:22
nike shoes brand new before
01:27:25
every show why that's isn't his writer
01:27:29
they buy him shoes yeah but then what
01:27:33
happened was
01:27:33
when he this is when he was at his
01:27:35
height and over the years he would do
01:27:37
the road and people would get from
01:27:39
and then one day some club owner said
01:27:42
nah
01:27:43
yeah that's correct we're not doing that
01:27:44
yeah because the shoes don't have
01:27:45
anything to do with anything he's like
01:27:46
yeah man but it's am i right
01:27:48
they're like hey you're not drawing yeah
01:27:51
you know
01:27:51
you didn't sell out the room yeah so and
01:27:53
also it's ridiculous
01:27:55
so apparently now he gets only one pair
01:27:58
for the whole weekend
01:28:02
that's so stupid i know but why see that
01:28:04
the nerve of people that think they can
01:28:05
ask for it and the problem is
01:28:07
if he did something great if behind the
01:28:09
scenes we found out he gave those shoes
01:28:11
away to people in need
01:28:12
i would [ __ ] love it right but that's
01:28:14
not the case yeah
01:28:16
he just wants the to take advantage of
01:28:17
it the system steve mcqueen
01:28:20
uh he would ask are you sleeping no i'm
01:28:23
not this is that sorry
01:28:24
i'm so tired dude go ahead be right i
01:28:26
swear i'm
01:28:27
steve mcqueen would ask for the
01:28:30
wardrobes in every movie he ever did
01:28:32
okay people would say well why do you
01:28:34
want all the clothes and they used to
01:28:35
make fun of him because he would take
01:28:36
men's clothes women's clothes
01:28:38
and they're like why what's his deal
01:28:39
like that's weird they would
01:28:41
label it as strange steve mcqueen was an
01:28:43
orphan and literally those people know
01:28:45
steve mcqueen would take all those
01:28:47
clothes that he would end up getting
01:28:48
from wardrobe if they said yes
01:28:49
and he would go to orphanages and donate
01:28:51
the clothes to make sure those kids had
01:28:53
new clothes
01:28:54
more particularly hollywood clothes from
01:28:56
a guy really
01:28:57
so he's an adult yeah
01:29:00
and he he wears he's a lawyer in a movie
01:29:03
he's not just
01:29:03
he wears a [ __ ] lawyer suit on
01:29:07
a lawyer goes to the [ __ ] orphanage
01:29:09
to go here's a full-grown
01:29:11
men's [ __ ] business suit steve
01:29:14
mcqueen was five two a hundred pounds
01:29:18
yeah he was the average size of a what
01:29:19
do you mean why do you make up stories
01:29:21
that's a true story steve mcqueen used
01:29:23
to go he has a period piece you know i
01:29:24
mean
01:29:25
yeah he here's a medieval armor yeah
01:29:28
yeah where's that you don't think a kid
01:29:30
of the orphanage wants to walk around in
01:29:31
chain link armor get your [ __ ]
01:29:33
together man get my [ __ ] together
01:29:36
i'm just trying to for you you're trying
01:29:37
to piss me the [ __ ] i'm getting there
01:29:39
you already know that the story already
01:29:40
got me yeah i'm getting you there i love
01:29:42
it you're battling me
01:29:43
i know can we say rest in peace to regis
01:29:45
feldman who's that
01:29:46
regis died regis philbin died
01:29:50
regis kept
01:29:57
regis from the morning show he's like a
01:29:59
newscaster
01:30:00
i don't know about news regis do you
01:30:03
know who regis is
01:30:04
regis philbin
01:30:07
regis philbin he died
01:30:10
you know regis
01:30:14
you've never seen this guy bob you've
01:30:17
never seen regis philbin he did the
01:30:18
morning show or whatever i don't know a
01:30:20
lot of
01:30:20
newscasters i know who um
01:30:24
he's it says he's the hardest working
01:30:25
man in show business wolf blitzer he
01:30:27
holds the guinness world record for most
01:30:29
hours on u.s television you know him
01:30:31
i know wolf blitzer holds the guinness
01:30:33
world record for most
01:30:34
hours on us [ __ ] television you've
01:30:37
never heard of this guy
01:30:38
regis philbin regis and kelly lee
01:30:43
i'm losing my [ __ ] you know who he i
01:30:45
really don't know who he is why are you
01:30:46
trying to shame me wait no hi you have
01:30:49
to it's is he a movie it was he in a
01:30:50
movie i watched movies
01:30:53
no he's he's like on tv every day if he
01:30:56
died i'm sorry
01:30:57
it's not your fault you didn't do it god
01:30:58
bless you him
01:31:01
him i mean was he good though he was so
01:31:03
lovable oh
01:31:05
jimmy kimmel put up a picture on his
01:31:06
instagram of him kissing on the mouth it
01:31:08
was really funny don't know him
01:31:09
jimmy kimmel you know i know who would
01:31:11
we just film it as
01:31:12
a son of a [ __ ] i knew you knew
01:31:16
i know but that was fun though rest in
01:31:17
peace recipes dude i love you man i
01:31:19
really am
01:31:19
that's so sad well we were in the trip
01:31:21
right i turned to you don't
01:31:23
she doesn't remember but i turned to
01:31:24
kalei and go oh regis film and just died
01:31:27
so so sad but he was 88.
01:31:31
about to turn 89 next gunned down in his
01:31:33
prime
01:31:34
yeah he was a shootout dude that's how
01:31:36
he died yeah no he seriously it was a
01:31:38
gun shootout
01:31:40
you don't know that he died in a
01:31:41
shootout he didn't yes he did i read
01:31:44
he did i [ __ ] read it if it was a gun
01:31:46
shootout
01:31:47
what it would be all over the news what
01:31:52
thank you for being a bad friend
01:31:57
[Music]
01:32:05
bad friends
01:32:14
you
