00:00:00
you two are bad friends who are these two idiots white dude i'm an asian dude
00:00:06
you two are disgusting well you two or something we're bad friends
00:00:12
bobby lee ladies and gentlemen right before we start
00:00:17
look at this a good uh of um i forgot it was in my travel bag
00:00:23
but there was a man who came to the show in denver comedy works shout you out he was a he was a little frantic because he
00:00:30
was drunk he was wasted he was like i i love bad friends and i and i give you something
00:00:36
for rudy and so he gave me this to give to you do you know who this is that's from my hero academia
00:00:44
is my favorite too my hysterectomy what is that academia nut my hysterectomy macadamia nut yeah yeah what is his
00:00:50
power um he's like the strongest he spreads new he spreads
00:00:56
it he spreads come from him yeah he also looks like he
00:01:04
like he mixes fentanyl in a in a lab right this is the fentanyl king yeah the fentanyl king snored it um uh this guy's
00:01:12
great what is his name midoriya oh midori sour
00:01:18
good drink all right i don't want to throw this too because i don't want it to break but i do want you to open it up so i can see it
00:01:23
so thank you to the fan that gave that look into your camera and thank that man wikipedia thank you to the drunk man
00:01:31
yeah wikipedia says right what do they say the first 10 minutes of up is a montage
00:01:37
yeah you wrote that on wikipedia i don't even know how you wrote that no i don't even know how to do that you wrote that on wikipedia how do i know george do you
00:01:44
believe that i know how to do that um that is the only saving grace you have sir that i
00:01:50
do you know that i have no like skills or tech wizardry to even do that you paid someone to do that no that's how it
00:01:57
go that's how it goes you snaky little shirt
00:02:03
i bought i last night i was coming home late i bought a box of captain crunch peanut butter
00:02:11
yuck bro good so good i haven't had that in years bro and sliced up the roof of my mouth i was
00:02:17
bleeding while i was brushing my teeth it was worth it um what's it the cinnamon what's the cinnamon toast
00:02:22
crunch that thing [ __ ] up the bottom of my eyes yeah it slices up your mouth it's up my mouth love it um but i'm a big
00:02:30
the wheat thins guy you like the wheat fins i like the thick cubes with the frosting on one oh no
00:02:35
that's frosted mini wheats what's that called frosted mini wheat i love frosting mini wheats man they're my
00:02:41
favorite i like those because the milk soaks in the [ __ ] thing i know yeah when it gets when they get soggy and
00:02:47
they get heavy and fat yeah they get like fat and heavy yeah like they get they got diabetes that they're gonna
00:02:53
give you and then you pick it up out of the milk and it's falling over your spoon i love that yeah it reminds me of
00:02:58
because i have to shave my pubes because all the juice when i'm making love absorbs into my pubes like that
00:03:04
right so then like a day later like i could squeeze the pubes and i can get a little bit of juice out you don't just
00:03:10
do that in the shower you don't just shower it out how thick is your jungle oh real good no but i shaved it already
00:03:16
i shave it at the spa yeah which so what i do is i'll at the cr what yeah you shave at the spa they have
00:03:22
razors in there and yeah even korean spa i get the razors but the korean men they hate it why because i sit in
00:03:30
because there's two types there's the shower and then there's a japanese kind of shower where you're sitting down on a
00:03:35
plastic chair a little plastic chair everybody shares the same plastic chair no there's six chairs around this kind of thing
00:03:42
right where it's a sit-down washing bath right right and i i'll put you know um
00:03:48
shaving cream on my pubes yeah and i just start like shaving and then the cream and always
00:03:54
walk by me and they go are you good you'll say something what is that what's the word
00:04:05
hey we got invited to somebody's wedding who
00:04:10
courtney and james that's the loving couple right there let me see courtney and james hold on it's
00:04:17
saturday october 30th 4 p.m uh in kentucky there's no way what do you guys
00:04:23
think do you want to go i'm free she's free should we do wouldn't that be fun for us
00:04:28
to just fly her out there just her just me yeah yeah yeah so funny
00:04:35
can andres come i don't know because to be honest with you he hasn't been here in let's see do
00:04:41
you don't know them imagine no no no dude their fan they sent it to us uh they sent it to the bad friends crew and
00:04:46
they invited the whole crew to the wedding i think i wonder what would that be like if we showed up
00:04:52
to that wedding yeah i mean we would run it it would not be about it it certainly wouldn't be her special day it'd be our day well you know what now we have to go
00:04:58
that's james courtney and james yeah i think we'll go courtney and james
00:05:04
we're gonna be sending rudy jewels to your wedding mm-hmm rudy jules is gonna go to
00:05:09
yeah what are you going to give them as a gift rudy a rice cooker
00:05:15
appropriate that makes sense why why not
00:05:20
people love rice yeah but to them it's going to be like you just probably found it around your house
00:05:25
but what do you think they think she is she shows up and they're like the mexican girl gave us a rice cooker yeah that's definitely they'll go not a
00:05:32
tortilla you don't want to give us a tortilla maker i guarantee you if we put her in they probably think it's like an armadillo
00:05:37
without the scales they just ripped off the stairs scales
00:05:42
and the rudies showed up rudy if we did that hurt your feelings no no okay make fun of me now go
00:05:49
come on no i can't shave me right now i want you to learn because i want you to survive in the
00:05:55
world yeah go ahead you got to you got to shame me i shamed you i called you an armadillo without scales
00:06:04
um you don't have eyebrows oh burn oh i'm not going to be able to
00:06:11
sleep for a week all right well take that okay so use the idea that you know he doesn't have eyebrows just okay but make up something
00:06:18
about that like use that for the joke that's not the joke but use that
00:06:23
i don't know how to make a joke all right all right we're teaching you right now right okay your eyebrows are you know what your
00:06:29
eyebrows look like they look like what what's mean that looks thin and and and almost not there aside from that right
00:06:35
why don't you try something where just i know that you're a nice person
00:06:41
but say something that you think is going to really hurt my feelings yeah
00:06:47
right and i think that's where you should go me too right so say something that's you think that's really gonna
00:06:52
hurt my feelings but i'm okay with it to just try go ahead i can't yes you can
00:06:59
what would hurt my feelings go ahead you look
00:07:05
like yep [Laughter] and old there we go [Laughter]
00:07:11
fat there we go i love it warmer getting warmer stupid that's good old
00:07:19
fats it's hurting it's working warmer
00:07:28
stop first of all first of all she went that is she took an angle
00:07:36
that's not what i meant but that's what i meant i know that's what you meant but that was great okay
00:07:43
that was i look like an old fat stupid
00:07:51
you know if somebody said that had a roast right i would be mad but it'd have to be that slow
00:07:57
it had to be that slow yeah right you say it outright it's just not that good it's the balance of everything that she
00:08:02
did that's really amazing now um i want people to listen at home right she was forced to say that
00:08:08
yeah yeah yeah and you know she was cornered yeah like an animal we bullied
00:08:13
her and we bullied her to say that yeah yeah she didn't have a choice and it hurt it did but i'm proud of you
00:08:19
proud of you and everybody did that feel bad saying it yeah yeah it did oh
00:08:25
it didn't feel good a little bit just a little bit no really it's mean
00:08:31
oh that's true it is but it's fun i know why is that fun because mean
00:08:36
stuff is fun yeah it's because it's all in good fun you don't really mean it
00:08:41
yeah i was at you know i i forget that like when you're around comedians
00:08:47
you can say certain things but i made the mistake one time of making fun of
00:08:52
a guy that was in line at so i was opening for carlos mancia at the ice house and the guy was in line
00:09:00
and and he i i literally thought he was making a face
00:09:06
right so he's standing like this like that right and i walked up to my
00:09:12
way hey and he goes and it was oh it's his face it was his
00:09:18
face and i went oh [ __ ] what do you say to that nothing i just walked out yeah i keep going yeah you got to keep going
00:09:24
he's still a fan he's listening to us right now he's like i love you anyway
00:09:29
yeah tell tell everybody what you said to somebody's son at the comedy store
00:09:36
how do you know about that you told me i wa you walked into the green room of the main room oh yeah so um
00:09:42
i feel so bad about it it was very funny to me it was not me and tom papa were laughing i know so
00:09:49
um i'm standing there with uh shane gillis yeah and tim dillon and we're in the
00:09:55
parking lot and sherry shepherd if you don't know sherry sheppard she was on the view very
00:10:00
funny very funny lady i've known her for 25 years
00:10:05
we've always been friends yeah and she has her son so she comes up to me goes and she's
00:10:11
wearing her mask so she has to say out loud hey it's sherry sheppard because it's like i mean i would already know
00:10:16
who she was it's either her or you know
00:10:23
right so i give sherry a hug we have our masks on right and her son's wearing a mask
00:10:29
and he's a shorter black guy when i go young he's like he's 14 years old yeah he's a young boy so i go what's up kevin
00:10:35
hart right and he he he does this
00:10:41
he like tenses up he tenses up like this and then she immediately goes well he's
00:10:46
14 he hasn't been in the club before you know he's just she's trying to like you know i mean and they kind of walk away
00:10:52
and i look at tim i'm blushing oh yeah and look at tim and shannon go and they're like
00:10:58
wrong thing to say man yeah wrong and i i till this day i don't
00:11:05
i don't feel like that that's a bad thing you just what you just said was hey short black guy
00:11:11
that's true that's what i said but i thought i honestly thought right that you know
00:11:16
because when you see a comic yeah you see someone like fahiman was perfect so femi fahim anwar will always be
00:11:23
around guys i've never seen before but you just make this assumption that they're either writers or a comedian
00:11:28
yeah it's [ __ ] 10 30 on a school night yeah so in your
00:11:34
head you're like he should be in bed so you're just crossing off these things in your head really quickly yeah right that can't be that that can be exactly it's
00:11:39
got to be it's got to be right or her boyfriend i don't know i don't know her situation
00:11:45
well in the mask i couldn't tell he kind of looked 14. okay so i threw it out there
00:11:51
and um it reminded me of the [ __ ] thing i did at the face no the river at
00:11:58
in budapest where i was with cheyenne and those guys i told you that story on this podcast
00:12:03
what i never told you that story i don't think so well the first day i was there just real
00:12:08
quick i was there i get a letter from jamie lee curtis saying tomorrow meet me at noon
00:12:15
so i don't know anybody so we're having lunch and jamie i'm with this guy named cheyenne jackson and
00:12:21
penn teller penn jillette yeah and there and jamie curtis goes we're going to go by
00:12:28
the river i want to show you something see we go to the river do you know the story y'all want to see a dead body
00:12:34
yeah yeah so we go to the river and along the side of the river there's these little bronze shoes
00:12:39
and they're like kind of cemented into the the side and there's probably 60 of them paris
00:12:47
and back in during the holocaust hitler and his gang his boys his boys
00:12:54
yeah they just lined up jews on the side of the river and shot him and they threw him over the river right which is really
00:12:59
sad yeah and um then jamie lee and cheyenne and a bunch of
00:13:05
people are around this pair of shoes that were like a little boy's pair of shoes
00:13:10
and cheyenne goes oh my god because he has a son that's young yeah and he goes um
00:13:17
a little boy yeah and then i go as loud as i can
00:13:23
it could have been a [ __ ] [Laughter]
00:13:28
and then the group they don't know me yeah i had one lunch with them
00:13:34
they all collectively turned their backs on me i would and walked away yeah
00:13:40
i'm still staring at the shoes trying to figure out if it was a [ __ ] or not no no trying to figure out
00:13:45
what in god's green earth i was thinking about saying that i mean it's funny i know i understand that if i was with a
00:13:51
bunch of comics it would have worked i think it would have worked right but around actors and the social people were
00:13:58
like emotional and crying i was just like yeah you read it wrong mm-hmm did i read it wrong
00:14:04
a little bit yeah yeah you think i read it wrong okay well that's you know but you got to try no you don't because then what
00:14:11
happened after that is there was 12 times i was there for like a month and a half
00:14:16
yeah 12 times where i stopped myself from making jokes for making it a [ __ ]
00:14:21
up job were there no other comics there at all no like i would have lunch with all these people right and it'd be a
00:14:26
window and my gut would go now right your gut just goes this is it say it and my body just went no you can't
00:14:34
and so now every everyone on the show now thinks i'm kind of like a clean comic or a nice guy could i show up on
00:14:40
time smile yeah but they'd be friendly what they know i think maybe deep down they don't they can feel that you have that dark
00:14:46
sense of humor it's not i don't even see it as a not dark but it's just raw it's not even raw it's just like the
00:14:53
way i survived as a kid yeah you know people would attack me
00:14:58
physically or whatever and i would defend myself by saying the most [ __ ] up thing yeah and that's just the way that's kind of
00:15:05
what comedy is a little bit i guess but it's like um i should just know better
00:15:10
you live you learn i mean look dude you're a young guy i'm 50 and
00:15:16
[ __ ] you you [ __ ] i'm 50 in um two a month one no a month
00:15:21
a month no for three weeks two next friday next week
00:15:27
yeah i forgot what it is yeah next september yeah next friday i am oh yeah speaking of which look at this what does
00:15:33
that say i feel like we're all much closer bad friends now that bobby has flaked on all of us now uh we know he does it to his closest friends it's good
00:15:39
to know he does it to his bad friends oof and the reddit thread bobby's birthday party is canceled well it's not our fault it's not bobby's
00:15:46
fault what are you supposed to do well why'd you even show me that i don't have control it's so hurtful hey
00:15:51
[ __ ] face why'd you show me that it hurts me well it was a good segue from me talking i know but i just want to apologize to people but it was because
00:15:57
of the delta and all that stuff and no it's not delta it's a new one mu mu the move iris is it mu what is it
00:16:03
called w yeah virus yeah mu mu but they don't know like it's it sounds scarier
00:16:10
yeah yeah yeah yeah right doesn't it coming to theaters this fall right the move virus
00:16:16
move over like the movie before that was like a disney delta yeah welcome to the
00:16:22
delta virus yeah yeah ooh they went darker this is this is really dark yeah and the next one will be like an a24
00:16:28
film it'll be like really subversive and weird yeah yeah off and people who get it will like lose a limb
00:16:34
like your eyeball will just fall out of your [ __ ] head yeah nether the nether world the nether virus the
00:16:40
nether virus yeah yeah nether presented by a24 yeah then
00:16:45
another virus and you have to double mask triple mask triple mask six vaccines and
00:16:51
you can only 69. yeah you have to 69 that's the only way you're allowed to sex with people
00:16:57
yeah genitals can't touch genitals anymore only genitals to mouth that's how you fight the nether virus
00:17:05
it's constantly gonna mutate yes it's never gonna go away but are they gonna get worse these mutations yes we're
00:17:11
[ __ ] we are [ __ ] up we're never gonna get away from no we're gonna die where
00:17:17
everyone will everyone's gonna get it though everyone will get it yeah a version of it yeah i cannot wait for you
00:17:22
guys to get it why i can't wait because you gotta experience it dude you
00:17:28
know you went through it already yeah you gotta live it you gotta do it acting like it's like a ride at magic mountain or something it's a rite of passage
00:17:34
do you see you know did you ride the new [ __ ] blue virus i waited in line yeah yeah trying to get the [ __ ] skip pass
00:17:40
to get up no i feel like it is a rite of passage somehow some way you know what we got to do you and i when when when um when you
00:17:46
guys get it no when um amusement park's just open oh let's go but she
00:17:52
has never been no she has she just won't go on it on him because of fear a fear of one so many times we
00:17:58
had to go i'm falling you're not gonna fall what do you mean i'm just scared
00:18:04
dude when's the last time an accident happened at an amusement park probably 50 years ago yeah
00:18:11
last time last accident at amusement park rudy it's got to be so long ago
00:18:16
before the technology uh three months three months ago
00:18:21
three months ago three months ago no looked out yeah what list of amusement park accidents the
00:18:27
united states yeah but when they have a list like that on wikipedia or whatever right it can't be a lot what's the biggest fear upside down you don't want
00:18:33
to go upside down yeah in case you slip out yeah that thing was someone ever
00:18:39
diarrhea oh i diary every time has someone ever diarrhea i mean yeah bobby squirts a
00:18:44
little bit but i mean you mean someone had like a real bad diarrhea accident yeah has someone [ __ ] on a roller coaster perfect
00:18:51
did a tourist get diary on a roller coaster and splash 14 people wow wow
00:18:57
that's i mean kudos to the ability yeah would you be mad reports of a truck i'd
00:19:02
be like 14 of us got it that's impressive i imagine the ride's over you have [ __ ]
00:19:08
all over your face yeah well you would do that because of the photo yeah they always do a photo so
00:19:15
you're like i know i have diarrhea in my face yeah but i don't want to wait back in that line so i'm gonna go hey you do
00:19:20
the face if we do send you to um kentucky for the wedding andres can't go cause he's busy
00:19:25
look at this picture of this guy by the way go to andreas's page look at this dude who the [ __ ] does this guy think he is
00:19:33
this [ __ ] song andres rosende director of the quinnipiac los angeles
00:19:38
program born in spain raised in los angeles look at him andres has directed multiple
00:19:44
successful short films that have played in more than 200 film festivals yeah look at the oh my god he won the
00:19:50
international award included the dj for best latin short but he is a talented guy andres also produces the hit podcast
00:19:56
bad friend starring comedians bobby lee andrew santino is that real it does say that
00:20:01
andrew also produced the hit andrei andreas starring comedian bobby lee and andrew
00:20:06
santino interesting george is not on there george is not on there oh my god oh how does that feel does he
00:20:13
is he the sole producer i mean it feels like betrayal that's what i know but george who's the executive producer of
00:20:19
bad friends uh me and bryce andres rosende novo it's andreas according to this according to
00:20:25
this article yeah he's he's using me just for for now more about clout for
00:20:30
his regular job too pete zoom in on that face look at this smug little scene yeah look at that just look at this look at that look at that oh yes hello i am the
00:20:39
sole producer of pep friends and look at his lips when has it ever been that color never
00:20:45
when this dude put gloss lipstick so much lip gloss on his [ __ ] lips and he even painted a little bit of facial
00:20:51
hair which i think was cool yeah he can't grow that but he you know what he is wearing
00:20:56
those shitty [ __ ] european shirts he wears yeah yeah you look at that look at the inner lining of it i know flowers
00:21:02
the more the more patterns the more expensive bud oh but he's cute there he is a little babe yeah yeah we miss our little andres
00:21:09
yeah where is he uh he's out uh out east we're doing a thing for the school he's like he's like
00:21:15
teaching school something in school good for him better help oh my god andrew better help
00:21:22
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00:21:27
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00:21:32
is there yes actually well then better help us for you my friend thank you very much i start communicating in under 48 hours we both use better help uh all
00:21:39
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00:23:56
look at this bob tough day in history the robert e lee statue was removed from
00:24:02
virginia your great great great grand wait great great great grandfather robert e lee his statue was removed from
00:24:08
virginia street they took it yeah it's funny because it's like people make these jokes on twitter and stuff going you know
00:24:15
how dare you put bobby lee live statue down what it's just number one we don't share the same middle name his name is
00:24:21
robert my name is bobby he's white and i'm [ __ ] a fat asian guy i mean still think you might have some blood you
00:24:27
think so your principles are similar what do you mean what they mean some of
00:24:33
his principles he was again he was pro slavery
00:24:38
czech [Laughter] check he was pro railroads in the asians
00:24:46
check and he was pro um like pillaging and raping chad yeah yeah
00:24:52
don't even have to finish that check yeah you're the same you're just like robert e lee but they tore down a statue
00:24:58
oh that's sad i'd be people bummed i think certain groups of group people are very bummed this is the problem with
00:25:04
me i'm not i don't statues are really who gives a [ __ ] i'm not really who gives a [ __ ] guy
00:25:10
yeah there's two things i hate statues or i don't give a [ __ ] you know also fountains yeah what the [ __ ] yeah look
00:25:17
at our fountain look at all this water yeah i hate it we're showing off the third world countries that's all that is
00:25:22
it's like a middle finger to the third world country my mother look at all this moving water
00:25:27
we used to go to this mall and there was a fountain in the middle of this mall and
00:25:33
i went to the bathroom i came back and my mom had taken taken her pants no yeah and rolled it
00:25:39
all the way up to her [ __ ] ankles and she's waiting in the [ __ ] the [ __ ] fountain and i'm as even as
00:25:45
kid going like you're not supposed to do that like who does that it's not for that is it though but in her korean mind
00:25:51
she's like picking up the pennies yeah yeah like look at the money i i found i mean it's like all these wishes going
00:25:58
away you know what i mean yeah but she's getting all the wishes that's the original dreamcast yeah my mom used to do that with the wish dealer she also
00:26:04
used to sleep just on the floor yeah it's so good for your back like in
00:26:10
the middle of the mall oh what yeah when you're out at the mall yeah she would just sleep
00:26:16
take a nap in the middle of a [ __ ] mall it was so embarrassing like she doesn't
00:26:22
know the rules were you with friends when this happened no no i didn't have friends then really yeah
00:26:28
they don't have my dad used to be with golf clubs no we know we know but seriously
00:26:37
your mom would just lay down in the middle of the mall and take a nap yeah yeah my mom backhanded me once i um
00:26:44
i i was dropped off i went to a um camp right concentration no summer
00:26:51
oh yeah we applied before concentration didn't get excited you needed more focus yeah and i remember this
00:26:58
the yellow bus coming back to the school drops we'd gone for two months and all the parents are there how big
00:27:03
was the bus it was a little kind is that a problem no it just wasn't enough to wear a helmet
00:27:09
is that weird bobby yeah and i remember the kids would get off
00:27:14
the bus and their parents would be so happy to see them and they would pick the kids up kiss some you know i mean this and that
00:27:20
i don't know why i did this but um when i saw my mom she goes bobby i pushed her
00:27:28
you pushed her out of your way because i thought it was embarrassing oh yeah well how old were you
00:27:35
nine yeah that's that age yeah and then i remember on the car ride home
00:27:40
she backhanded me 25 times in the car yeah just pop as
00:27:45
hard as you could by the way yeah while she's driving yeah while she drops the fact that parents could be like
00:27:51
yeah yeah you'll still be able to drive yeah like 25 times wow and i remember looking at the the
00:27:56
rear view and wouldn't that that what to the window on the mirror oh no the side mirror the side mirror
00:28:02
and i remember looking at my face it was just like bleeding and i'd like [ __ ] think my mom's finger like marks on my
00:28:08
face that you deserved it didn't you i think i did
00:28:13
i think i think that um another time my mom another time my mom
00:28:20
we were gonna go to um an amusement park and i was at my cousin andy's house and i said get me these pants because i was
00:28:26
i spent the night at my cousin andy's house and she was gonna pick us up and she didn't get the same the pants that i
00:28:31
wanted right and i go [ __ ] you mom this and that what and we ended up not going
00:28:37
yeah no [ __ ] yeah you don't get to say that kid how old were you though 11. and you were saying [ __ ] you to your
00:28:44
mom yeah bad boy yeah you deserve to get hit i was a bad kid but you squared off
00:28:49
it it worked out somehow what do you mean well you're fine you're not a bad person
00:28:56
yeah but um you look you you didn't do weird things growing up a lot of weird [ __ ] growing up yeah but mine was always
00:29:02
like uh we got in trouble for like stealing stuff i got we got in trouble for
00:29:09
fights or or like uh i brought a gun to school
00:29:14
and that guy got in trouble for that yeah yeah that was bad this is pre-school shoot no
00:29:19
it wasn't a real gun you if you and i were like friends back then and we got drunk in a tent mm-hmm right
00:29:27
do you think we'll be getting a fist fight we'll probably do some gay [ __ ] if you and i were drunk in a tent
00:29:34
we'd probably do some engaging that's exactly what i wanted to hear we would do geisha today yeah if you can't go
00:29:39
again on this [ __ ] podcast we always go that's what this show is exactly so let's talk about it we're in the tent
00:29:44
[Laughter] did you but you did you are you did
00:29:51
experimental gay stuff when you were a kid did you ever have a circle jerk yeah i remember um where you jerked off
00:29:57
i had i can't say names but i remember my parents were going out of town they were going to san francisco
00:30:02
and i remember that night i called my friend allen and i can't
00:30:15
i don't know where allen went right but he didn't do anything he's just hiding behind the couch but we had a bunch of people
00:30:23
and somebody brought over a vhs tape of a porn and we also got my dad it was alcoholics
00:30:29
who had a wine like a a liquor you know i mean uh in the cabinet yeah in the living room
00:30:36
with shots of whiskey and stuff like that next science next thing i know we're all in each other no we're not
00:30:42
[ __ ] each other but we're all kind of jerking off like somebody just pulled it out and they said you didn't even get like a blanket no we
00:30:49
just all just started doing it gotta get a blanket but and then i blew then i blacked out
00:30:55
right it's coming so much no i don't know i don't know what happened but this is i distinctly remember five in the morning
00:31:00
so you have my bedroom right and when you walk out my bedroom if you take a left and a quick right
00:31:07
is a where the washer and dryer is but also there's a bathroom to the left and if you open up at the door there's a
00:31:13
[ __ ] pool okay somebody please draw that so in the in the bathroom to my left i hear
00:31:18
something right and i'm kind of sobered up a little bit and kind of wandering the house
00:31:24
and i see a figure one figure right it's a [ __ ]
00:31:30
shower right so i open up the shower it's a friend of mine
00:31:36
he looks he locks eyes with me he's completely naked right his penis is erect
00:31:42
right and he looks at me and he says something that anywhere i want to get a laugh
00:31:50
or a giggle and i don't know why it was funny to me right but instead of going you know what if
00:31:56
you if i'm naked and i'm in a [ __ ] shower and you open the door i'm going to cover up that's not what this fool did maybe i
00:32:02
don't know this fool looks at me locks out him and he goes
00:32:08
i can't come that poor guy that's what he said to me that poor guy
00:32:14
and i remember closing it right and going back to my bedroom sorry and i remember like giggling
00:32:21
right going how long was he in there for four hours right i don't know come i
00:32:27
can't come i can't come yeah you didn't help him or nothing or at all no i just went right to my [ __ ] so funny if he
00:32:32
was like i can't come and you're like [Laughter] yeah yeah
00:32:38
boys do just such gross [ __ ] because you're such a horny yeah we're weirdos one time i rode my bike home i was riding my bike home and the way my my
00:32:45
balls were rubbing on the seat i got a boner on the bike ride home yeah and i pulled i pulled over behind this like
00:32:50
shed and i just jerked off yeah just outside yeah i had to i was it was like it was like dusk and it was like near a
00:32:56
field i just jerked off near a field and the shame that you feel the moment that you're done yeah you just want to
00:33:02
jump into a [ __ ] hole and disappear yeah i don't know why the universe makes you feel bad after you come it makes you
00:33:08
i know what is it because you just everyone's dead i think it's because it's like
00:33:14
you're doing something animalistic right and um there is an empty when you
00:33:21
when you unload there isn't i think a physiological thing that goes on within the body where it's like there's an
00:33:27
emptiness or you just know that it's out of you it's gone and the desire
00:33:33
i think god made it that way yeah so that you're not constantly but you still are constantly doing it yeah
00:33:39
but yeah i guess yeah you're right as a young guy i could probably do it two or three times in a day
00:33:45
in a row maybe what dude if i was 16 and you put a hot chick in front of me i
00:33:51
could do it probably four times in a row i could do two maybe
00:33:56
dude imagine just a super model a supermodel right and i'm 16. imagine right i see it i've
00:34:04
never seen a naked body before right and it would be like i would do it three or four times yeah
00:34:10
yeah i guess that's possible did you ever you have a time when you masturbate and nothing came out
00:34:17
well talk about 50 the other night i close your ears
00:34:25
she's not even here so i talked to my girlf my therapist with my girlfriend yesterday
00:34:30
and i'm going to reveal something that i've never revealed to anyone before i feel like my age has caught up to my
00:34:38
sexual drive sexual drive oh man yeah do you not want to have sex at all i can feel it no it's just like this like
00:34:44
certain things like like before if i was at a at the comedy store and i see a group of girls
00:34:51
walking in let's say where they're wearing summer dresses or skirt love summer dresses and they're just yeah you
00:34:56
know i mean they're just like comedy you know what i mean
00:35:01
and they're just they do twirls they just do a twirl with this and the dress is kind of i love comedy yeah yeah
00:35:07
yeah yeah that happens all the time and i before i'd be like i would do a memorization
00:35:12
of what she would like what they wore their smiles i just get you know certain things right and then later in
00:35:19
the night right i would probably jerk off to that right okay now it's like
00:35:25
like i'll literally do three steps back and be
00:35:30
i would be i'll be sick why i just because i just know number one they they would even if i was single
00:35:37
they would have no interest in me because i'm old now right and um it's just like i don't want to
00:35:43
deal with the voices and there are people okay but even with the person you love you still don't want to have sex no
00:35:48
i do like you know but it's like i can see my body yeah not doing it so i think
00:35:53
i need to be on something testosterone maybe should we get you some tea on the show i think i need testosterone let's get
00:36:00
you some testosterones on the show because i um i can feel it zapping away does your
00:36:06
penis not stay hard anymore it also does something weird and i don't even know if i should talk about
00:36:12
it on this please okay um you know when a penis is uh
00:36:18
uncircumcised i sure do are you no so the skin
00:36:23
around my penis um the loose skin around the head is now so
00:36:30
loose the sleeve the sleeve right the it it's a long sleeve now it swallows the
00:36:36
head yeah but and if i don't constantly untuck it right
00:36:41
a smell occurs oh boy yeah like a cheesy smell right you gotta clean it bud i
00:36:47
know but it's like i'm circumcised so i don't know how to do it wait what
00:36:52
you're circumcised yeah and you still have sleeve skin now because the [ __ ] skin around my
00:36:58
shaft is so loose oh no it's now wrapping over your rapping over my head that's what i've never heard this in the
00:37:04
history of anything well i'm telling you it's happening like if i pull my penis out right now it'll be wrapped it's wrapped around the
00:37:10
head yeah it's keeping it warm no it's just that maybe i played with it so much the skin's just like
00:37:17
you mean we're not trying you know i mean that's so sad it's so sad so now i'm getting this like
00:37:23
cheesy smell out of it what do you mean yeah i don't know but please let me spread it on the
00:37:28
cracker all right so so now so now constantly on stage i did
00:37:34
it last night what where i i have a technique well there's two things i've been doing
00:37:40
i shouldn't be yeah okay so last night i did it on stage without even and there was a
00:37:47
packed room i took my two fingers like this i stuck it on my pants and i just
00:37:52
you know i mean what yeah i went to show people no i no i just
00:37:58
to adjust you to adjust it because i could see it being engulfed yeah and i'm sweating on stage i don't want it to
00:38:04
smell that's that's why bad friends is excited to announce sleeve backs sleeve backs pin back your penis skin
00:38:11
but here's the second thing i've been doing yeah i was trying this and it was working but then it's like i was
00:38:16
suffocating my penis oh he couldn't breathe so what i was doing was my my girlfriend's um headband
00:38:22
you know the the little thin where they put tony hair tie hair tie
00:38:28
so i've been doubling up the hair tie and stinging it between the head and the shaft get the [ __ ] out of here
00:38:34
no you're really doing it i'm doing this well then we need sleeve backs right so then but it's getting so tight
00:38:40
that it's cutting off you suffocated yeah yeah yeah right and it's turning
00:38:46
all purple and like not getting any you know it's getting too much blood or something it's already purple there's no doubt right right so it's like i'm like
00:38:52
i don't think that's the right way you gotta let it we gotta invent this maybe like a sweater or something if there's
00:38:57
any guys out there that have this problem please write into the bad friend show because we can we can help maybe you can create a product cosby sweater
00:39:04
imagine you don't need that type of style 80s like a coochie sweater right i just put
00:39:09
it around the thing so that like his head is constantly yeah you know i need something but we got to make little
00:39:14
arms coming out yeah yeah yeah imagine us pitching a shark in the hand a little pudding pop
00:39:23
welcome to shark tank hello sharks yeah today we have an investment
00:39:30
today we have an investment for you we'd like we'd like 10 million dollars for two percent of our company
00:39:37
sleeve backs hi sweaters sweatshirts to pull back the loose skin on your penis bobby i'm ceo
00:39:44
bobby lee hi um so i'm 50 and i'm fat fat a fat asian
00:39:49
and um you know as you know when you're a fat asian right you masturbate a lot
00:39:55
yeah right and then you also have to you do a lot of tugging down there if i may say cut to mark cuban
00:40:03
and so um and what i realized through time right that the skin around
00:40:09
in the shaft area troops it droops oh oh right they'll yeah
00:40:15
lori's writing writing it down right yeah troops penis so what occurs you know i mean um
00:40:21
is that the skin engulfs the head good word right right that's a
00:40:26
good word we'll show a slide of it right engulf let me just show it we just we're showing it happening right and maybe
00:40:31
we'll show like in star wars you know that creature yeah i mean that sticks his head out of the dirt sand you know what i'm in and
00:40:37
then we'll put in reverse yeah maybe reverse yeah i don't know something like that right and then we might have to get the rights
00:40:43
or something we'll borrow it we'll borrow it right so anyway a cheat you like you guys like
00:40:48
cheese yeah yeah we have some samples no i mean gorgonzola yeah and they're
00:40:55
like yeah imagine that but 10 times worse oh no yeah around the head of the ppe we've got a solution yeah bobby yeah
00:41:03
show them what it looks like you'll pull your penis out he'll be wearing the cosby sweater
00:41:09
right then there mark cuban would be like why are the cosby sweater and then it's like well it's
00:41:16
fashion that's yeah it's fashion but it's fashion mark cuban it's yeah there's different no we have different
00:41:21
eras yeah that's that we have a gold one that's like um sparkly for the 70s right
00:41:27
right disco disco dick do we even have a michael jackson glove right michael jackson glove right and then we also
00:41:33
have um what else do we have hip-hop oh hip-hop yeah we have a hamper it's a hoodie
00:41:41
and notice the little chain around the gold chain around the you know something like that would you think
00:41:47
they'll buy this okay what do you think uh sharks the well by that time is she a shark
00:41:54
yeah yeah what do you think sharks sharks what do you think can it have a harry styles
00:42:09
and he has like a watermelon like a watermelon sweater wearing his own yeah his own thing so will you buy
00:42:15
it yes easy money yeah but you're not you don't have to deal with because you're in your 30s
00:42:20
still yeah just almost over though i know but you but when you're 50. yeah loose penis
00:42:26
skin is not a when you're 50 it'll happen i feel like you don't believe me can i show you
00:42:31
yeah but rudy can't be in the room yeah get out of the room get out
00:42:37
let me see what it looks like when it's hiding bespoke post i love i gave you one of these box of awesome you know what it's
00:42:43
a love box of awesomes because when you wake up wake up when you open it up and you wake up in the morning yeah and you open up this
00:42:50
box there's stuff in there that makes you it's just it's well it makes you want to live life
00:42:55
because there's a lot of stuff that i use and i get surprised there's funky fun things in there
00:43:01
there's knives for rudy uh there's kitchen tools i like the bar set up stuff uh scarves they have little tents
00:43:08
they have tons of stuff uh to surprise you with this this is how you get started okay you take the quiz at box of
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00:45:11
beef let me see what it looks like when it's hiding let me
00:45:16
see holy [ __ ] that's so weird
00:45:22
it's cover it's engulfing your whole penis [Laughter] i've never ever seen that i'm not
00:45:28
exaggerating for the sake of the show i've never seen that before and i see me nothing nothing it's it's natural state
00:45:34
you need to go to the doctor about that i have a lot of things i have to see the doctor about well there's like six things are we doing your teeth
00:45:40
that's even that's eighth i mean you're not gonna go to the i thought we gotta go back to the dentist soon no yeah but sorry sorry
00:45:47
yeah but um i have a list of six things so i i gotta figure it out like i'm getting older so i feel like scariest thing i've ever seen i'm not gonna lie
00:45:54
why it doesn't hurt no but it looks like it's wrong it's definitely wrong it's wrong it's not right yeah yeah it's like somebody
00:46:00
drew it and you're like that's wrong yeah that's wrong something's wrong yeah something's definitely wrong there well i gotta untuck yeah untuck it right now
00:46:06
two fingers and pull yeah paul i'm gonna show you one of my favorite videos on the internet show him show him ferrari
00:46:11
look at this guy talk about overcoming adversity this guy my dear fragrance army jeremy fragrance
00:46:18
here that purchased his ferrari in cash after being in a gay relationship that
00:46:24
he did not enjoy after a woman tried to sue him for rape after his father died
00:46:30
after was totally destroyed and now phoenix from the ashes guys
00:46:42
listen to that confluence of events yeah i was in a gay relationship relationship he was accused of right sued for rape
00:46:48
sued for rape his dad died his dad died phoenix from the ashes phoenix from the ashes bought a friend i love this guy
00:46:54
this guy is unreal this guy is unreal unreal what's going on with his eyes he has plastic surgery plastic surgery a
00:47:00
lot a lot play one more time for fun just so i can hear this guy hey guys
00:47:05
my dear fragrance army jeremy fragrance here that purchased his ferrari in cash
00:47:11
after being in a gay relationship that he did not enjoy okay after a woman
00:47:17
tried to sue him forever after his gay relationship he didn't enjoy maybe
00:47:22
he's not gay i know but she's trying i like you maybe that's what i like a relationship which i did not enjoy yeah
00:47:29
yeah after a woman sued me for rape right which i did enjoy probably that's the concept that was the kind of right
00:47:34
yeah and my dad died that died we don't know if he enjoyed that or not he might have enjoyed his dad's death yeah yeah but but click on it he bought a ferrari
00:47:41
mother died after was totally destroyed destroyed him destroyed and now
00:47:47
phoenix from the ashes guys
00:47:53
that's the american dream yeah that's the american dream yeah what this guy had you try a gay relationship you get
00:48:00
sued for rape your dad dies you get to buy a ferrari america greatest country on earth that's what i
00:48:06
do love about this country they that all that can happen a lot of things like that can happen insane that's insane
00:48:11
that is insane yeah but he's also you know i had to say jeremy i've been watching
00:48:17
there's a show on netflix a series called untold have you seen them no okay but i've watched so much [ __ ] on
00:48:24
netflix that i don't remember there's a series called untold right on netflix and there's like one on caitlyn jenner
00:48:31
there's one but there's one called crime and penalties what is the one about caitlyn jenner about what's untold it's amazing it goes
00:48:39
into when she killed that no no woman no no it wasn't about the murder no it's about her olympics
00:48:45
when bruce was in the montreal olympics when she was bruce and he was in the olympics right it was it follows her all
00:48:51
all the documentaries follow a sporting event oh right then i would love it you would
00:48:57
but there's one called crime and penalties i think is that what it's called crime and penalties oh i saw malice at
00:49:04
the palace that's that's untold that's untold that's why oh i watched that yeah i didn't know it was untold but this one right here dude yeah is the funniest one
00:49:12
who is that i've ever seen it's this kid named aj galante
00:49:18
when he was 17 years old his dad was like the head of the mafia right in connecticut
00:49:23
and he just decides to buy him a hockey team wait what yeah the dad buys him a hockey
00:49:28
team a hockey team a pro hockey team no there's a league before like the b league sure right
00:49:34
but there's a whole you know league there watch this right and he starts googling like he doesn't
00:49:40
like look for like stats in terms of how good the players are right he he
00:49:47
sees what kind of crimes they've committed yeah if they're violent enough oh that's great right that's super smart
00:49:52
for hockey yeah right so he so the first match they ever play his dad
00:49:58
the mafia guy tells the center for i don't know how the positions are sure as soon as the
00:50:04
ref drops the puck take your gloves off start a fight and start beating at the [ __ ] out of the
00:50:09
other guy and like clockwork throws it down so it's ripped [ __ ]
00:50:14
chaos that's amazing it's the one of the funniest documentaries but it's real they're called those yeah he had one guy
00:50:20
named the nigerian nightmare some guy that was in the nhl but too violent for the nhl right i mean it
00:50:26
started working somewhere else and then the i i don't know i don't know the story but he just loves to fight it's so
00:50:31
good i want to watch this you should watch it but all these ones right very good i watched malice in the palace that
00:50:37
was a great one you didn't see that did you i love that one um i want you to look this up real fast yeah
00:50:43
actor uh um pled guilty 650 million who i got sent
00:50:50
this today who this is insane you don't know this man but this article is going to blow your [ __ ] mind
00:50:57
actor pleads guilty zachary horowitz has agreed to plead guilty to operating a 650 million dollar ponzi scheme fake
00:51:04
netflix and hbo deals he was telling people investors that he had all these deals with netflix and hbo and was
00:51:10
fabricating all this [ __ ] information and he acquired 650 million dollars how [ __ ] dumb my
00:51:18
god are the people that gave him that kind of money that just shows you rich people will just give other people money
00:51:23
if you're if you can sucker them 650 million dollars he's going to get 20 years in prison and
00:51:29
he paid back a quarter of it is what i read yeah if you read the article i hear of like um
00:51:35
ponzi schemes or the pyramid schemes all that kind of stuff yeah it breaks my heart especially like old no no no no no
00:51:41
he didn't rip off humans he ripped off bill multi-millionaires billionaires oh he didn't rip off like street people
00:51:48
yeah but you would think that like you know i'm almost okay with this you [ __ ] the rich it's funny i know but
00:51:54
i don't understand how like for for me let's say i was a millionaire right and then you were like
00:52:00
let's say i was one you are i'm not a millionaire you're a millionaire look at what bobby lee's worth that's not a real
00:52:06
yes it is look at what it what i'm worth okay do what bobby lee net worth sorry i got distracted with a little uh
00:52:12
something uh that actually affects uh the bad friends family what andres worked for this guy what
00:52:20
fancy b worked for this guy way to [ __ ] man dude i have to call the fans
00:52:25
he might be on an airplane right now but hopefully he's landing holy [ __ ] george please answer fans
00:52:32
the devil below he produced that movie that fancy did we promoted that on this show oh wow
00:52:38
[Laughter] oh fans be off a plane fancy please damn it damn it [ __ ]
00:52:47
oh my god fancy worked for this guy so can we trust fancy wait but did the guy come up with money
00:52:54
to do it bob he would go to people and lie and be like i've got a netflix deal for you
00:52:59
know a six picture deal for so and so so-and-so i need third-party investor funding
00:53:04
for these movies and you'll get a percentage kickback like a hollywood producer yeah these guys gave him all this money and he would use the ponzi
00:53:11
scheme he would use their money to fund other lies but what i'm saying is is that with he is he pocketing the money
00:53:18
and not doing anything with it or is he doing a couple of productions to make it seem like no no he it seems like he did
00:53:24
set up a production house and did one thing with him that's what i'm saying so he did so he did it so it looks legit
00:53:31
right right but what you do is just push the money around you go from one you push the money from this project yeah but in the meantime he's buying
00:53:36
mansions and ferraris and that was him by the way that was yeah that was the same guy yeah but what i don't get about
00:53:42
these people because enron was like that too that what the ponzi scheme in enron yeah but they were yeah they you know i
00:53:49
don't know what what they call it but they would say that the company is worth this much like almost future predictions yeah they
00:53:55
would inflate their numbers right right so it's like next year yeah i mean this is what we're going to be working on seven billion right and they didn't
00:54:01
actually come up with anything they just kept right doing this that's for the market and then it for the market and then they
00:54:08
obviously crashed right and it's um well then those other people they pulled out all their stocks and stuff like that no
00:54:14
but like a lot of people got [ __ ] like you know [ __ ] i mean but i just don't mind it when you
00:54:19
do this to the rich i think this is funny dude yeah go back you telling me he got that
00:54:25
many people to give him 650 million look at this he horwitch acknowledged that he has failed to pay he's he so he's paid
00:54:31
all back but 231 million so he only owes 231 million not bad you can probably scrounge that up somehow my favorite
00:54:37
quote from one of these articles is one of his friends said i did not think he was smart enough to do this
00:54:42
oh really yeah how much time is he getting 20 years maybe faces up to 20 years you know what
00:54:48
that means what nothing he'll serve nothing yeah but what i would do with zaful sam is like because you you when you're starting a
00:54:54
ponzi scheme like this you know inevitably it's going to crash of course it's going to catch up to you well
00:55:00
right so yeah so the smart guy would what what i would have done is should we do one we think about it though
00:55:07
we take right and we stash liquid in the cash yeah we bury the [ __ ]
00:55:12
it like physically bury it yeah and then you and i know we're gonna get 10 years in prison yeah and then when we get out we [ __ ] uncover get we'll get the
00:55:19
cash that we how are we going to get all that cash out why don't we get it out like how are you going to get out like 20 million from or
00:55:25
231 million from the bank no you're not going to walk you out of there with that kind of no no but can't you get like
00:55:32
like if i had 251 millions in the bank mm-hmm right i can't get 30 million you
00:55:37
could but they would cause a thing it'd be a big thing why because they'd be curious as to why you want 30 million in
00:55:42
cash they would probably alert internet they probably alert um what's the internet uh interpol because
00:55:48
they'd be like this guy might be skipping the country okay can you get can you can you set up some sort of fake
00:55:53
charity or something that you can go to that we could do yeah right let's set one up so you have a limp leg
00:55:59
you've had one for years you've had one for years we have a charity for you and your limp lag for good old limp lego call it rudy's sunrise rudy security
00:56:06
rudy sunrise charity right right and then get a leg up that's it get a leg up it's our get a leg quotation yeah yeah
00:56:12
that's our phrase yeah our catchphrase so rudy sunrise get a leg up donations are going to go to fix her limp legs so
00:56:19
please send to the the name right here we'll put it down with one leg you can what you can still dance with one leg
00:56:25
maybe i know let's move on get a leg up let's fight between let's stick with mine no
00:56:31
you can still dance with one leg all right it'll be rudy sunrise yeah you can still dance with one leg but get a
00:56:36
leg up on it that's it got it combine my quote with your quote so that i can feel like i'm contributing right fine all
00:56:42
right you named it rudy sunrise i know all right well here we here we're going to put kyron right here something to donate please donate to the rudy sunrise
00:56:48
right so so is there a way do you know the right guy that's going to be i can funnel all that
00:56:54
and make that happen of course so then can we liquidate it in the cash all right we bury it where we're going to
00:56:59
bury it well we can't tell these [ __ ] people then they'll know but this is just mock all right then we'll fake it we'll fake it so where will we do it
00:57:06
where's it where's like a smart place to bury i know where chula vista no where
00:57:11
we go to the philippines oh yes we go to the philippines because you know they have six thousand islands
00:57:18
we gotta find it and we can go to duterte was that the name the dart day yeah they
00:57:24
go you like money i do i do right there we go
00:57:29
and i go we'll give you 5 million in cash can we buy a small island
00:57:35
is that how much islands cost i don't know we don't know how much do islands cost in the philippines yeah 5 million seems like a [ __ ] load of money for the
00:57:41
philippines it's an island though dude by the time how much land is really there a million i would say a million
00:57:46
islands for sale in the philippines there you go let's buy one right now yeah there's got to be one on sale look at those beautiful wow
00:57:53
dao island how much is that dao can we buy down i want to buy dial
00:57:58
uh 49 47 acres how much wait that says 117 acres
00:58:04
how come they see they're not going to tell you they're going to tell you it says inquire now top right yeah you'd have to ask yeah yeah anyway we get that
00:58:11
island what a beautiful island that's ours right and then in the center of that we we
00:58:16
bury it okay but how do we keep the money safe while we're gone oh she lives there now we build her a
00:58:22
little hut and with her knives it's a knife wall mm-hmm right this sounds like the actual
00:58:27
pre-emptive beginning of bottoms of turtleneck i think this is that's the prequel the prequel this is the prequel of bottoms
00:58:33
and she we were going there to get our money back and she wouldn't let us well that died protected i don't know what happened how about this
00:58:40
we're in prison of course right yeah should we build a little shack you'll have a pool and you'll have all that all
00:58:46
the trimmings right in this shack right and you're bored you have dogs obviously because you get bored right and one of
00:58:53
the dogs is missing let's see julio's missing right nightmare you're going julio right and in the distance here
00:59:01
you know him barking right that's more of a duck yeah yeah yeah yeah dogs don't do that yeah but julio does
00:59:08
right so you're and then he finds right what julio finds is
00:59:13
a [ __ ] one what do you call it a tombstone but with some ancient writing on it what
00:59:19
language in not um egyptian oh so it makes it weird yeah
00:59:26
very weird very odd place like there's a there's even an egyptian breakthrough no oh you know how they
00:59:33
yeah what is this stupid but no but you know a little
00:59:40
clyro chiroglyphic chiroglyphics is that what they call it hieroglyphics hieroglyphic hieroglyphic hieroglyphic
00:59:47
there it is they have one like this yeah on their right serving food it's some egyptian thing right right but in the
00:59:53
thing right the hand sticking out of the tombstone this figure right
00:59:58
this one if you push it down there's a lever
01:00:04
right and there's a spiraled staircase that opens you walk all the way down there right
01:00:09
and that's maybe one of the portals to hell oh [ __ ] right and if there's even a sign portal
01:00:17
yeah it's pretty right right just so that the people watching the movie but what language
01:00:23
in english just to make it in english you don't have to do subtitles the good one right that makes sense portal to hell right you go inside that
01:00:30
it changes you forever we get out of prison we ring your cell phone what the [ __ ]
01:00:36
where the [ __ ] is she yeah we're trying to get our [ __ ] million dollars hitting that [ __ ] stupid bow down
01:00:42
dao island right uh-huh we go we go into the shack
01:00:47
all we see is skeletons of our dogs she hates that dog yes julio's maybe
01:00:53
barely still going she ate half of julio yeah so half of him is dead maybe yeah maybe
01:00:58
he's barely alive wow and he's trying to tell us she's a demon she's a demon there's a
01:01:04
neighbor yeah she's a demon that's a parrot doing that is that what it is yeah we will have a parrot there's a demon forget julio is a parrot now
01:01:11
she's a demon she's a demon yeah and we we're we're like yeah yeah
01:01:17
right right and we're going something back but we don't even what did you do we don't even give the parent the [ __ ] acknowledgement that he said it
01:01:23
we just go i think something bad's going on she's a demon something's bad something bad he's a demon i think
01:01:29
something bad we never acknowledged the parrot where are all the dogs that were here she ate them she ate them yeah yeah so then give us all the hints
01:01:36
right portal to health portal yeah right and then the is there a little mountain
01:01:42
yeah there's a look in the center there's a little hill yeah right you get you make it up the hill in five
01:01:47
minutes because it takes me 24 hours because i'm fat for sure right physical so you're like constantly going come on
01:01:53
dude like sisyphus i have to push you yeah i see you you i see a thing here you know i mean an empty you know
01:01:59
i barely finally get up there 24 hours later and then what happens you push me in i
01:02:04
push you in the portal to hell right and that's where is that part two or what's going on here
01:02:10
i have no idea are we rewriting yeah we have to oh yeah we're right we've gone so far so far yeah but i pushed you in the portal
01:02:16
hell that opened that's the beginning of the film but when do
01:02:23
i want to know in this group right before i put you in the portal of hell no we way before as you're blown we got
01:02:28
out of prison right when i come i push you in the portal of hell we get out of prison the same day
01:02:33
right before we go to dao island we didn't do any gay [ __ ] in prison but we do right we were different we're different they don't wanna it's in the
01:02:39
same prison the moment we get out right and the taxi rides and i learned so much there
01:02:45
like in my prison because you were a total i was a toy yeah i learned how to do 19 dicks at a time right i know how
01:02:51
to jerk somebody off with my feet like i am a master yeah and you became a christian big time yeah so you
01:02:58
never did anything jesus christ so we call each other after we get our prison and go you're like let's go to dao i like no let's go to the hilton
01:03:05
no i want to go to dallas no let's go to hilton no i want to go i need to say i i i don't you think you should we should catch up
01:03:12
okay there we go thank you we meet at the hilton yeah and you think
01:03:17
there's two rooms yeah i go um no i just thought because you know we could talk all night i got two
01:03:24
different beds sure they're pushed together though i know i did that why because i want to talk and
01:03:30
i have a bad earring right right right and then um why are your clothes off
01:03:36
because you know well what the [ __ ] i guess that's the giveaway yeah that's
01:03:42
a dead giveaway yeah i want to flock which is fine but why is your penis head covered oh because i'm 50.
01:03:47
yeah just push hard i don't want that in the movie you don't want your penis head thing i don't want to put penis i don't want hilarious i don't want my penis how
01:03:54
could we not put that in the movie because i want to play or younger in my in the movie you're not going to be able
01:03:59
to but what does it matter you don't like the cheese smell
01:04:05
that's exactly why i don't want that all right i want to clean it up anyway okay let's call bobby lee real fast then we
01:04:11
gotta go
01:04:17
uh hello can you hear me uh can you what yeah yeah i can hear you what's up bobby
01:04:24
bobby lee yes yes yes this is speaking i'm sorry that was a weird intro just talking to a dude uh very very dark topic so i'm like
01:04:31
on a curve right now what what was the dark topic uh cancer stuff like that brain stuff we
01:04:38
love kids we love trip so that was the great news actually
01:04:43
nice i see bobby lee you're talking you're talking about bobby lee obviously you're talking to bobby lee
01:04:50
this is amazing this is uh did you now did you know about
01:04:57
me as bobby lee before have you ever did you know there was another bobby lee
01:05:03
out there that was a comedian oh no i've known about you for like 20 years or not like longer not 20 years but like 10
01:05:09
years wow or whatever the 2008 uh second pineapple express oh
01:05:14
but let me say this were you were you a fan did you really like him or were you just whatever
01:05:20
well it's it's cool it's so cool it's like uh i mean there's only however many
01:05:26
names in the world and like and i'm sharing it with them so like that's different you know i i i'm a huge fan of
01:05:32
yours as well he's a big mma fan um
01:05:38
what's your record now in the mma my record in professional fighting is 12
01:05:43
and six what about what about street fights street fights ooh uh technically like
01:05:50
only want to know but there was like a couple of that's right bobby lee we uh we support you wholeheartedly as is your
01:05:56
career continuing about sponsoring you yeah bobby we think uh we think you're the man we love your name
01:06:02
uh and maybe we can maybe we can throw him some bad friend stuff so he can wear bad friend stuff we would love to do that i
01:06:08
think that would be the way where do you live right now bobby i'm in minneapolis i moved down just this week to be closer to like this
01:06:14
really good gym oh cool you know i used to live in edina
01:06:19
that's that's crazy i did not know that yeah where where's your where's your when's your next fight bob
01:06:25
it's uh six weeks out it's uh october 16th in phoenix october 16th in phoenix watch out for bobby lee he's fighting
01:06:32
who are you fighting nick brown what weight class are you
01:06:39
one five five light weight one five five amazing bobby lee versus nick brown october 16th my birthday by the way
01:06:45
which uh i'm i'm excited for for you so go kick his ass bobby thank you for uh
01:06:51
thank you for talking to us we support you man i support you man to a friend who uh who's listened to every single one of your episodes um
01:06:58
austin halverson has listened to every single one of your episodes he's a huge fan shout out shout out to austin austin
01:07:04
thank you give me my name [ __ ] yeah thanks man all right bobby we'll talk to you soon thanks buddy
01:07:09
have a good one bye thank you for being a bad friend [Music]
01:07:27
yes [Music]
