00:00:00
you two are bad friends who are these two idiots white dude i'm an asian dude you two
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are disgusting oh you two or something we're bad friends what's up red you good
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good to see you pal what a good time that's great what's up pal
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can't wait for this how's my life oh man that's great man how's my little boy can't wait for this
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man rudy
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you think you're selena welcome back tito bobby you wrote this oh look at who spent time on this
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[Music]
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it's
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so how was the fat one was it good are the numbers were good yeah we were like we were slacking on
00:01:14
our pimp but i listened to that but it's so nice that the fat one you know what i mean filled in i'm glad that you're back
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it's good to be here how do you you know what i should not call him that he already did yeah i know i know i ever
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did and let's erase that part okay but here's the deal okay yeah that i i i'm not used to being back
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so i'm gonna have to do do some editing and you know i'm gonna have to put it through a filter in my brain like
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self-censorship yeah yeah so you know i mean let's start from the top how was eric was he good [Laughter]
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how was eric was he good erica griffin he did this show yeah i thought he i i
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was looking at the story not that i remember oh yeah he was great yeah yeah we had some good filling guests
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and wait a minute rudy jules what's up with your her what's up with your hair girl you know
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what proud about her with her hair yeah she was just basically like yesterday like i'm gonna go get my hat
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done and i'm like oh do you need and she got i got it so she she's self-efficient wow she she makes
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appointments on her own she's independent she tells her i want to do the billy eilish with the streaks you know
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you she does her nails i want to do this i'm not doing anything with my nails
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that's what she's been doing since i've been back it's her raising of her voice and i frustrate her by the way did you
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write that welcome back tito bobby you wrote that give me that let me see that yeah yeah that's insane
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i mean analyze it this is do you want to talk about minimal effort oh my god nothing what
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dude i sign autographs better than 100 yeah you're going to college yeah yeah
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terrible handwriting yeah yeah welcome back oh my god you spelled welcome wrong
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look at her face no i'm kidding no it looks good yeah i like your hair i like this uh this is
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called ombre right yeah i'm learning and i got a shag what's a shag like to do bobby's you mean like a
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mullet no you didn't see what i got going on let me see bo oh bro
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bro bro am i from blade runner or what bro i'm from the future right undercut bro
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yeah skate or die are you a poser no i'm like a cyborg i must you know what i'm like a
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cyborg what are those like repo men can i say something to you and don't take this wrong way that thins you out i know that's what
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she said live yesterday you look thinner with that that's what everyone said yes well you should shave the other side and see how thin you get
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there you go what do you think you look good thanks man hungry treated you well huh
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let's talk about hungary i can't believe you got into a fist
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fight with kate blanchett that's crazy [ __ ] fist by the way kate blanchett bobby called me and she
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didn't get a fist fight with her she came to his room she came up to his room and she was like it's me it's kate blanchett and um bobby
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said oh what's up and he opens the door and she goes they delivered my chicken strips to your room
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and bobby had already eaten all the chicken strips and she's like you fat [ __ ] and they got into a fist
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fight and you punched blanche can i tell you my relationship with cate blanchett yeah what is it okay
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i'll just give you an example so please two the two the second to the last day i was there
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yeah i i went to the restaurant that was in the hotel and kate was there with gina
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gershon having breakfast right okay they both look at me and they go what's up bobby and i walked by so fast and with my
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phone and my i had no one was not i wasn't talking to anybody why did you do that because i i get so nervous around cake
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like around them right i go ahead and say good morning right and i'm a real it's weird the morning
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yeah and then i'll eventually come back because then i'll sit there and i'll go you should have done that man then i
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think you're a [ __ ] meth addict yeah man yeah weird right yeah sorry guys i just woke up i needed to get my coffee you
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know i mean that type i'm like a weird guy dude well but but but you told me you also interacted with them you went out to dinner
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yeah there was you weren't in the beginning okay so in the beginning or in the beginning i'm like i literally
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when i was fly i'll just tell people what i'm in yeah you don't know yeah you can say i could say it now were you not allowed to
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at some point no it was never really talked about it yeah but you made it seem like you were not supposed no i could i just didn't
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want to talk about because i didn't know what it was and i don't know how it was going to go so tell everybody what you're doing all right so i i don't like your stuff in my
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teeth no great i should spit out this gum so there's this video game called
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rudy how have you been [Laughter] i really want to know i'm good i feel
00:05:54
like your energy is so good today you know also your energy grazie okay so
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um i um shout out to my boy pete downstairs
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i'm not gonna talk about it shut up go ahead all right you gonna do that one of those comedy bits again
00:06:15
it's a comedy show i know but there's a pretty good chance i'm gonna do it again all right
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but now i'm gonna be apprehensive but i'll try yeah and then do your bid again here's what we always do yeah you know i'm gonna do the bid again
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i know but now it's like i'm anticipating the bit yeah so i don't want to really fully get into the [ __ ]
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don't anticipate it all right here we go yeah go ahead so um there's a video game called what's up
00:06:38
andreas you did it for you i did it before you
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i'm gonna do it before you did it for you yeah stop on the table you're gonna ruin it knock my head down and so there's a
00:06:48
video game called um borderlands and um they're made a movie about it and um where'd you get your shirt no no
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i really like that shirt no where'd you get it she's worn that a thousand times
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okay all right so um you know like you and i we audition for things
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and we never get things i don't audition for anything we can talk about that later okay but
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there was a time bobby called me by the way he booked another thing bobby's going away to do another job so
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he just did a job sold a show to abc did a bunch of magnum pis uh uh just did a huge movie
00:07:25
is just booked another job you were a job machine you know who's calling my phone nobody nobody can i just get into my
00:07:33
life yeah and what's going on with me yeah and then we'll go into your satellite afterwards dude i'm on a show it's uh
00:07:39
it's great davey's great it's cruising it's a great one you've never seen i love davey though you've never seen it once yeah what's his name louise
00:07:45
what's his name what's his name he has like a nickname uh yeah the weasel yeah the wheeze yeah paulie i don't i don't know
00:07:52
but he's great though it's very funny davey yeah he's a funny guy so they're so then you know i auditioned
00:07:58
and i sent in the tape and then i got it and you helped i did yeah you helped a little bit help you know
00:08:04
one of the producers was very kind and i became friends with their resources i was gonna say you guys got along real well yeah and so um yeah emmy's
00:08:10
great yeah he's one of the nicest people the best so it's got like all these big stars in it like cate
00:08:16
blanchett jamie lee curtis kevin hart jack black all these [ __ ] people right
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um edgar ramirez my good friend janina now who's now one of my best friends sheesh
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anyway um and what bobby lee i'm in it robert robert e lee makes it
00:08:35
in the movie okay watch watch me right now i'm looking at you watch me right now watch my hands okay yeah do you see that
00:08:42
that's your role in the movie that's how fast i am in the movie and you'll never see me again is it just like so when you're watching the movie
00:08:47
that's all and then i'm gone what give me a line that you said in the movie uh what's up roland
00:08:55
i swear to god you just killed it i go good when i see kevin's heart card i i'm in a bar and i
00:09:01
go ah what's up that's one of my lines kevin hart's name is roland in the movie yeah yeah
00:09:06
so when i'm flying over there i'm like come on man he he's a character from the [ __ ] game don't you your [ __ ] head turn
00:09:14
there's a black guy in the game borderlands the name roland google google if there's ever been a black guy
00:09:19
named roland in borderlands in life in the game of the game games are fake all right has
00:09:27
there ever been a black guy named roland famous famous roland's bring it up
00:09:36
roland orzabal roland young roland emmerich roland barthers roland james oh roland james is black
00:09:42
there we go what was roland james an american oh god oh my god
00:09:51
[Laughter] what did roland james do who is he can i just go back into the [ __ ] thing oh
00:09:56
an american of a professional football player can i go back into the [ __ ] thing man let me get my bed out please oh god my bad
00:10:03
i forgot how it works i miss you excuse me okay so yeah his name is roland in the movie so anyway that was my life so when i was
00:10:09
flying over that i was like okay this is gonna be one of those like really lonely
00:10:15
experiences because you know i only function well with like comics at my level you know i mean and i
00:10:22
have my group you know me i have you yeah i've got um a couple of guys you know i mean they're
00:10:28
no longer with us i could say that people that died yep uh we've got um i think i guess guys like madrigal
00:10:36
bill burr i mean there's a yes big group of you know chelsea handler whitney [ __ ] that's
00:10:41
pretty much the the that's your group the group right so in my head i'm like i don't know any
00:10:48
of these people it's like i'm not i you know i'm a comic so i'm just going to be spending
00:10:54
the next month and a half by myself because everybody there is a real and i say real action yeah you know
00:10:59
you're you're an actor but those are no these are real real award-winning actors right who
00:11:04
i'm a huge fan of all of them right yeah have you ever been nominated for an
00:11:10
award never even been to an award show well no i'll never go to a workshop well that's because they don't
00:11:15
they don't want me there that would be weird i've never even done bro i've never where would they put you i've never even done a talk show
00:11:21
no ever not couch you've never done couch no ever me neither yes you have i've seen
00:11:28
you no i've done stand up no i've never seen you do a bit with on the jimmy fell yeah okay yeah that's not it it was you james
00:11:34
corden but it was it doesn't matter you did it though right because it was with jim carrey it wasn't you're on a [ __ ] show with jim carrey
00:11:41
on a [ __ ] talk show on a tanak show yeah and that's huge it what no but yeah it was for jim and they're
00:11:48
called talk shows by the way tanak shows they're called talk shows welcome back to the tanak show tonight my guess is
00:11:53
bobby lee yeah yeah so let's do it right now ready here we go we're back
00:11:59
thank you to the band rudy jules what's going on you good i'm good yeah awesome my guest tonight ladies gentlemen you're going to love this guy
00:12:06
this guy's incredible you've seen this guy by the way by the way with the way i would do it we're live i know i would've on [ __ ] air i know
00:12:13
but that's what i would do to make it funny oh to interrupt my intro yeah yeah you're killing it this
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is great don't you think that'll be funny the crowd's losing it right now like i'm i'm already out of the yeah it's the curtain
00:12:24
exactly i'm ordering at the curtain right and you're trying to introduce me and i'm i'm interrupting you oh bob do it again do
00:12:30
it again well we're already in it start over okay start over i would go back i would go back to the
00:12:36
thing how's rudy jewels in the band let's check in with rudy jewels the house man i'm good rudy jewels and the hombres i'm
00:12:42
next to you now i'm i already got out i'm already now sitting here explaining to me yeah i'm already sitting next to them oh bobby
00:12:48
you're already here come here no need for the intro bud i'm just happy to be here oh awesome so what's been going on in your
00:12:53
life i can't even believe i'm on this show i'm so great thanks for asking me we're so happy that you're here yeah we heard you did a movie with kevin
00:12:59
hart there's no applause there we go man this
00:13:07
audience is dying they don't maybe they don't have oh they don't screaming and they don't know who he is okay but you did you did you had a great
00:13:13
time in this kevin hart movie and i heard i heard a little birdie told us that you punched kate blanchet
00:13:18
i did not keep
00:13:25
audience do you want to hear him tell the chicken story all right so she came up to my room because i took the last
00:13:30
chicken strip and and she goes hey did you take my chicken strip and i [ __ ] go [ __ ] yeah
00:13:36
and then she goes she punches me in the face man audience do you love it yeah yeah who
00:13:42
did the one want pete pp don't ever do oh pete you're gonna get fired don't but thanks for the red bull i really
00:13:48
appreciate it can we go back to the story pete give me the one give me one one more time for bobby
00:13:56
i know i hate that so although out of all the womp wants
00:14:01
that's the worst one that's the worst swamp yeah that's what happens when i ejaculate
00:14:06
that's the sound that happens when you come when i come back and it goes down you know your penis kind of slowly goes down and the [ __ ] is
00:14:13
sorry close your end here's the sound pete here's the sound that comes out when i
00:14:18
ejaculate ready yeah [Applause] [Laughter] [Applause]
00:14:25
and this is my go ahead
00:14:30
i always smell it why because i want to all right let's see if it's healthy or not so anyway so can i just finish my
00:14:37
thing god i'm happy you're back so um i miss you so i go to the hotel room you know when i
00:14:45
get the thing yeah and there was a note saying hey congratu thanks i mean not thanks
00:14:53
welcome to the movie you know i would love to meet you and it's jamie lee curtis wow and i go what the [ __ ] that's weird
00:15:00
did she sign it yeah she signed it and then cool she texted me and she goes tomorrow lunch how does she
00:15:06
have her phone number i don't know dude they can get anything they need they get whatever they want they get it all yeah she has my email my address
00:15:12
everything let's get lunch yeah so i go oh [ __ ] now i'm like nervous right did you think about what to wear no i
00:15:18
this is what i have you wore a peyote you got to be yourself yeah i guess you're right you do my eyes don't give a
00:15:24
[ __ ] yeah yeah and so i i go down and it's me janina
00:15:31
penn jillette pen i love pen from penn and teller i know and and we all went to burger king
00:15:38
shut up that's it they wanted to go to burger king no they didn't want penn goes i want to
00:15:44
go to burger king because they have a vegetarian like vegetarian like there's a uh impossible burger a veggie burger right
00:15:50
thing and i we go all right we'll go and we went to [ __ ] burger king do you there's a photo on my instagram of you at burger yeah yeah
00:15:56
that's kind of cool it was cool you jamie lee curtis penn gillette and that was cool that was first day that was day one day one out of the gate
00:16:03
you're killing it it's fun because i want someone to say this that she is if you hear anyone talk
00:16:10
about that lady jamie curtis yeah she's one of the greatest women i've ever met in the business
00:16:15
person yeah honestly no she's so yeah i don't know her she's so sweet like you know there was one time where
00:16:21
i was in her hotel room and we're just talking on her couch for like three hours right like she said that type what were
00:16:28
you talking about private stuff cher [Laughter]
00:16:34
the sound share the sound that happens when i master share no i'm not going to share because share
00:16:42
that share i'll share with you later share share share share we talked about share
00:16:50
you talked about sharing yeah yeah and how we love you so you sat on our couch and you guys
00:16:56
just chatted about yeah it was cool man was it deep and philosophical yeah it was deep it was dude it was yeah she because she know well you know
00:17:02
well she's married to one of the most uh well-respected this is she's talented in her own right
00:17:08
i'm not discrediting her she's she also happens to be married to one of the most talented writer director producers christopher in the history of comedy one
00:17:14
of my idols same i got to work with him once and it was it was the coolest thing i've ever done
00:17:20
he had a show on hbo called family tree i did an episode of it oh my god me and matt broner you know matt oh i
00:17:25
love matt we got we were we were um confederate soldiers at a reenactment oh my god and this girl shot and killed us
00:17:31
uh you know whatever the scene was fun but working with him was incredible uh anyway those two people together
00:17:37
that's hollywood what are they what do they call it power couples yeah yeah never again is that gonna happen i know
00:17:42
like you can't get that no one does that anymore no and it's like um and when you're in that situation
00:17:48
you just you're not yourself like you stepped out of yourself a little yeah you're kind of you're you're pretending i feel like you're
00:17:54
pretending to be someone that i'm not because you're because i'm like like in
00:17:59
my head i'm like don't say [ __ ] like i go through these things right
00:18:05
don't say that don't say that and just go through the motion you know i mean and i'm because i'm a nice guy
00:18:10
of course but i say [ __ ] up things but but you say it in jest you're joking it's just right but it's like you don't want to
00:18:16
like you don't want it you don't want to be having coffee with jamie curtis and be like i mean all lives kind of matter
00:18:22
and she's like so let me just i don't want to spend all this time on [ __ ] budapest so let me just finish it what
00:18:27
do you mean let me just finish this the kids want to know where the boys have been okay people thought we broke the band no
00:18:34
never never i thought about you twice can i tell you can i that's a lot that's more than you
00:18:41
thought about her yeah can i can i share with them the one little moment that you gave before you continue
00:18:46
bobby texted me and said i'm gonna crack and i said what's going on and then we facetimed and you were sad
00:18:52
and you were bored yeah and and you said it i don't know if you're gonna admit it but you said it that you missed me i did you said i
00:18:59
missed you i didn't i missed that and i said because and i was driving through the rain in new jersey
00:19:04
and i was like i miss you too i know that i did have it it was a sweet moment yeah it was a sweet moment i missed mine
00:19:09
i did miss you um but then because that was what happened was when i first got there i shot for three
00:19:16
days and then i had three weeks off and you did nothing well the first week that's when i called you
00:19:21
yeah um everyone was working and you were alone and i was alone in the hotel well there was a a black
00:19:29
actor careful from england who became charles me and charles hung out
00:19:36
me and charles hung out yeah and he's a sweetie okay a real sweetie and we became good
00:19:41
friends but um what's his name charles what his last name's difficult to say so say it
00:19:46
i'd have to look at it no let's try it bye-bye blazing about something like that charles baba blazing
00:19:52
about yeah he's let's look up charles baba blazing about no he's baba blazing about he was he was
00:19:57
in the mary magdalene movie with river phoenix is that him right there on the far left is that charles baba
00:20:02
blazing a blah that's him wow i can't believe he got it
00:20:08
that literally is him i genuinely can't believe that his name is charles can you zoom in on the name down there charles
00:20:14
charles okay let's have bobby no let's have broody pronounce it how do you say that rudy charles what babalola charles barbalola
00:20:22
what a cool name he's a great actor charles babalola yeah and he's just yeah english
00:20:30
and him and i hung out every [ __ ] day how young is this young man he's 30. look at how good-looking he is
00:20:36
oh man he's so talented babes love him huh yeah and but can i say this yeah all his friends from england yeah
00:20:44
they're asian they're korean they're short they're friends fans
00:20:51
they're bf fans all the brits are i would call would he know that yes he did yes
00:20:58
this summer bob you got to get the most out of your travels abroad by learning the language of your destination bobby was just in hungary
00:21:05
yeah and did you learn hong kong oh yeah and i used babble guys it's the number one selling language learning app
00:21:10
yeah from ordering in restaurants or asking for directions to gaining a deeper understanding of the
00:21:16
culture babel makes the whole process of learning a new language addictively fun and easy it really is i'm actually
00:21:21
learning italian right now i'm dead serious i'm learning i'm using babble because i really want to learn italian i want to try my hardest because you learn
00:21:28
the languages on how you read people really talk in that yeah they don't do like uh the corny uh
00:21:33
easy stuff that you that you hear all the time in like 101 classes in high school they have 15 minute lessons uh that make
00:21:40
the perfect it's the perfect way to learn a new language on the go they design their courses with practical real world conversations like bob said
00:21:46
and you can choose from how many different languages look at that there's four 14 different languages guys including spanish french italian and
00:21:51
german and their speech recognition technology helps you improve your pronunciation and accent which andres needs
00:21:56
badly yeah you should babble you should use babel for english so many ways to learn uh an additional
00:22:02
lessons uh podcast games video stories even live classes right now when you purchase a three-month babble subscription you'll get an additional
00:22:08
three months for free that's six months for the price of three just go to babel.com use the promo code bad friends that's babblebabyl.com
00:22:15
codebadfriends for an extra three months free buffy oh this is my favorite thing this
00:22:20
is the i think this is the best thing you've ever done for me you got me ever you got me a buffy comforter and
00:22:25
i'm going to tell you right now that's all i wear in bed you do wear it in bed i wear it in bed
00:22:31
no you wrap up in a little burrito yeah or a little bit or a little i said it a little hand roll or a cuff roll
00:22:37
you could keep a burrito sushi keep a burrito you're more sushi anyway buffy makes bedding that is earth
00:22:45
friendly and cruelty free that's right if you've spent sleepless nights or sweating i used to sweat at night i used
00:22:50
to toss and turn it get too hot i get too cold the breeze is their brand new product it's a comforter made entirely from 100
00:22:56
eucalyptus fiber i'm telling you it's unreal but i gave one to bobby and he was like i don't
00:23:02
want it and then he used it and was like dude this is like the best thing i've ever had no more night sweats
00:23:08
it's so hot right now and i i believe in the buffy and it was like the blanket was so cool it stays cool it
00:23:14
stays cool i love it i love it it's cruelty free no down it's hypoallergenic which is incredible so you're not gonna be sneezing throughout the night
00:23:20
it's softer than cotton and it's uh it's earth friendly it's cruelty free that's my favorite part about it that's right because you
00:23:25
know we love aminals yeah why not choose 100 plant-based bedding that's better for you and the earth
00:23:30
wake up you can try it on your own bed for free and if you don't love you can return it that's a joke that's insane
00:23:36
that they're they're letting people do that if you don't love it you can return it for free at no cost buffy is extra soft they're
00:23:41
wonderful we both use them we literally love these things so uh for 20 off your buffy comforter visit buffy.co and enter the code bad
00:23:48
friends that is buffy dot co enter the code bad friends shout out to charge
00:23:53
the only one when i was on set where he was like but he's english yeah how did he sound
00:24:01
holy [ __ ] hello [ __ ] it's bobby ly that's pretty good bob yeah holy [ __ ] it's popular how like [ __ ] it's babali
00:24:08
and i'd be like what's up man he's like come on we have a cigarette bang oh you go have a smoke with him yeah
00:24:14
like you want a cigarette with me yeah i'd love to have a cigarette with you man and would you guys check it out and then we we would have breakfast
00:24:21
dinners we would walk around town so you had a little oh yeah yeah we're like a little little rush hour but can
00:24:27
you imagine does he live in l.a no he lives in england okay i don't know because he could be living here now but but something happened between us you
00:24:33
said the n-word broke it up you can't i told you you
00:24:39
can't just say no you can't no something happened so then last night he was in town
00:24:44
yeah he's a big manchester united fan uh and they were in the um europa league
00:24:51
final yeah and he goes mike come up and watch the you know the game you hate menu i hate man but i
00:24:57
went to do it because it was last night sure so i sat there and manu lost in penalty kicks at the end oh yeah
00:25:05
and he was like out night he just kicked you out like we spent a week together every single day and this
00:25:12
is his last night get out you could see tears walking a minute he's out my i'm like what was good to me is out and
00:25:19
then like an hour later he texted me about it and he's like i'm sorry about that man but you understand as a soccer soccer
00:25:24
ball i get it but it's it was a little rude so uh did he know you were an arsenal fan yeah i told him we talked
00:25:30
all you do is hang out no no i know but like you know how you said sometimes you get nervous you don't admit stuff like
00:25:35
that seems weird because if you're such a die hard man you fan you know is there a is there a moment
00:25:40
because no because there was a um there was a guy named jusun park
00:25:46
okay who played for manu chester united he's a korean dude and so that's my i i when ji soon park
00:25:53
was on menu i liked them because he was korean right and he was a busy bee on the on the
00:25:58
pitch he was just hard worker moving around yeah yeah just zipping around right it was like he was
00:26:04
on like a hyundai factory you know what i mean you know always out there yeah yeah wait
00:26:10
how about the guy the guy that died then was survived the soccer player that died and survived
00:26:15
with a heart attack wow yeah erickson by the way what the coolest move i've ever seen in sports
00:26:21
was from the other team captain asked the players to form an uh chain arm chain
00:26:26
fence around him yeah so that if it was his last moments they didn't want to broadcast on television
00:26:32
wow what a classy move yeah he said to the other players he goes get get around him right now in case
00:26:37
this is his last moments he didn't want to broadcast to the world that people were going to watch him die on the pitch yeah and i thought that was such a cool
00:26:43
used to play for tottenham who's his arsenal's nemesis yeah so there was a feeling so you almost wanted him to die yeah
00:26:50
no i'm sorry no she didn't like it she didn't like it that joker didn't hit but let me kill
00:26:55
him there he is but by the way he's alive go back down i know he is he is and they
00:27:01
put up implant in them what kind like a heart implant like a stimp yes dimp
00:27:06
i don't know i don't know so god bless but here's what here's what god bless
00:27:11
god bless here's what made let's just just wrap up the whole trip no more no we're not done so when i
00:27:18
got there what made me nervous was the day i had to go on the set and meet the director and you can name
00:27:26
the director now eli roth eli roth huge you know who loves eli raw
00:27:31
fans yeah fans do you like eli i love elijah great guy so eli goes thanks for joining us ma'am
00:27:38
big fan of this and that and and then he introduced me to kate and kevin everyone's there
00:27:43
yeah did kevin like you oh man did you tell kevin you're a stand-up or not he already knew me he knew you and i just he wasn't great
00:27:51
he was so good to me does that mean a lot dude it i'll tell you why because i didn't tell you this in the table read
00:27:58
so three weeks before i even go i could do a table read right and i get on and i don't know
00:28:03
anybody and everyone's there right and i don't know eli rather i don't know anybody it's on zoom it's on zoom and it's like saturday
00:28:10
morning so it's like seven in the morning because it was like five o'clock in hungary and that's where a lot of people were i'm sitting there uncomfortable and
00:28:17
kevin gets on they go what's up bobby on the zoom really yeah in front of everybody you
00:28:23
said to everybody which broke the ice for me what's your phone do nothing we turn it
00:28:29
turn off i already did and it's rude i'm sorry she wants to be involved a little bit more no
00:28:35
you will be you will be just let him finish the story there's a couple of things i want to talk to you about too so we'll get to you let's do it now
00:28:43
no no i want to hear the rest of the zoom story so anyway that's what he did so when i
00:28:48
got bobby so when i got on the set he was just absolutely as if
00:28:53
you know we're we've known each other for all our careers wow like he was like he's a comic i know
00:29:00
yeah so he was you know i mean funny and you know what i mean and he would laugh at my bits like my takes because all my scenes are
00:29:06
with him yeah so he would just laugh at my tanks and and then that's awesome it was actually the first day of shooting
00:29:13
um i was so nervous because i was out in the desert oh so check this out hungary has a
00:29:18
desert so check this out i was so bummed so check this out yeah so i'm dressed like did i show the what
00:29:23
i dr so far okay so i'm dressed can we show a photo of it to the face no we can't damn it but so but i can describe it i'm
00:29:30
dressed like a stormtrooper no but it looks like a red stormtrooper a red stormtrooper but it looks like a
00:29:35
um it looks like a like you know how spaceballs made fun of yeah yeah you look uh star wars you look
00:29:41
like if you guys were making fun of stormtroopers and it was like a comedy version of stormtroopers right
00:29:46
it was only that only looks like when the grown adults are wearing this outfit which is what everyone else is like
00:29:52
when they're full like people with knives they look good yeah i look like a bobble head right right so it's a
00:29:59
cartoon and now we're out in a desert okay and it's one of those sets where it's like there's just if you
00:30:05
look like a half a mile down there's these gigantic green screen things up yeah and they all these like
00:30:13
spaceships and machinery and like gigantic like um dinosaur bones sticking out of the
00:30:19
sand i mean it's like and there's three four 500 people just a sea of people working on all kinds of
00:30:25
stuff and my i'm in metal everything's metallic
00:30:30
right and they put a ponytail on the back of my head that wasn't your hair what do you mean
00:30:36
you showed a picture i thought that was your ponytail it is my ponytail but they put a ponytail in the back you mean they turned you they put your dates clumped all my head and
00:30:42
didn't make it samurai yeah i'm describing it
00:30:50
go ahead right yeah and so they gave you a ponytail they just clumped that you know how they
00:30:55
clumped the back of your head [Laughter]
00:31:01
they made it go ahead so so i'm sitting there and the helmet
00:31:07
won't go on my head because of the ponytail because the ponytail right so and they're about to shoot so they go there they go we got to take all the padding
00:31:13
out of the helmet of the helmet because it's a gigantic metallic thing right
00:31:18
so they start ripping the padding out right so now they're just metal spikes inside the [ __ ] helmet
00:31:25
and edges right and they stick it on my head and there's metal like this right and
00:31:31
i'm out there for six hours with a mask on no name no do you have any lines no
00:31:37
no lines and i'm also with 300 of people that look like me so they don't even know if you annoys me
00:31:42
right and then this is what happens and this i i literally cried in my helmet
00:31:48
the sound guy who doesn't know you know he's hungarian he doesn't know anything what do they sound like
00:31:54
i can't even describe it i know this is my favorite when you try it i don't know so i'll just describe what he says right yeah he got you know
00:32:01
you know you you're wearing the helmet you're right japanese yeah yeah you know you're
00:32:08
wearing the helmet there's this christmas tree wait wait you'll know let me just finish let me
00:32:14
just do it that way let me just do it that way it's italian yeah yeah well that's close to the towel italy yeah yeah yeah
00:32:20
you know you know you're wearing the helmet the whole time oh the the whole show and i go i go i'm
00:32:26
in the helmet right what do you mean even when i say my lines because yeah which means now imagine
00:32:34
no one's going to know i'm in this movie wait you never show your face that's what he says wait a minute what about when you're doing scenes kevin
00:32:40
exactly yeah so i go well i have dialogue with kevin and he goes no you wear the helmet then too
00:32:45
no yeah that's what he says to me now i have yeah now i have this metal spiky thing in my head it's [ __ ] 105 degrees
00:32:53
yeah i'm sweating right i'm bleeding out of my face right now i'm in my head i'm like oh i'm
00:32:58
an extra yeah no one's gonna know your background right and i'm just standing there with a gun
00:33:04
for like eight hours in the desert like this and just like in so much pain do you actually get to
00:33:10
take your helmet off and have lines no kevin so check it out this is what happens no one's going to know what to use
00:33:15
check it out this is what happened so there's a scene now where all right let's do let's we have a scene with janina and
00:33:22
and bobby where you know he says there's a you know creature people playing yeah they're playing the plane right so we
00:33:29
rehearse it and you know they go action and i i come with the [ __ ] i i'm wearing the helmet i pop in and
00:33:36
i'm i do my and then eli goes what what why do you have
00:33:41
the helmet on oh he was [ __ ] with you no the sound guy didn't know oh i thought
00:33:46
he was playing a joke no the sound guy didn't know and i'm like cuz this i i wanted to rat out the song guy
00:33:52
no shut up so i just oh i just i'm sorry he was like take off so i took the
00:33:57
helmet off and then i did my lines and all the lines are without the helmet obviously yeah but um
00:34:02
but but also would have been funny if they made you wear the helmet the whole time well that i i thought about that and i think that would have been a funny
00:34:08
story yes i was there for six weeks and i just kept this helmet on right and then they could voice over my
00:34:15
[ __ ] voice right and use like denzel washington just like just like a big handsome black guy like
00:34:20
man what's going on yeah i would i would probably relapse i probably would have realized that that
00:34:25
would have been really [ __ ] up well what if you get caught out of this film i thought about that too there's no way to do it huh there's no way to do it
00:34:32
because there's a will there's a way there's no way there's there's because there's a through line in the thing
00:34:37
about the whole movie would not make sense if they just completely cut me out really yeah because there's a scene
00:34:43
where kevin needs to escape this thing yeah and the whole reason why he's there is because of me uh we are mean yeah so it's like it
00:34:50
wouldn't make any sense i don't i think about those things i know you do i don't really think i just got offered a role in a movie by
00:34:55
the way what is it i can't i can't say it
00:35:02
it's not real because it's not real it's not real but i want it i know you'll get it i want it and you'll get it and you
00:35:08
deserve it and i hope it comes tom hanks right tom hicks thomas marty all the times are in it tom cruise
00:35:17
yeah yeah everybody's in it everyone's in it how about this i'm gonna actually say the movie that i did just get a roll in what well unless i blow it but they
00:35:24
but i might do it uh it's
00:35:30
it's like i want to be in that it's i'm probably not going to end up getting it they said there is there's a thing for me but they were
00:35:35
like we'll see maybe if it's yeah if it works it'd be cool yeah but isn't that why they're bringing that back
00:35:41
yeah but can i tell you something that you and i should do i did 10 escape rooms
00:35:49
in in hungary because that's where it originated did they chain or is it the same room that you tried to escape from
00:35:54
no there's every corner has an escape room it's like our starbucks isn't that just like what the don't
00:36:00
people just want to get out of hungary isn't it like is that yeah i think metaphor yeah yeah but so
00:36:06
they have these have you been to escape room no of course not okay that's an insane why would i can i just this yeah right um i hate it
00:36:13
i hate it why would i do that i'll give you an example claustrophobia panic if somebody told me
00:36:19
and this is not a joke yeah if somebody told me you have to go into the escape room by
00:36:24
yourself bobby and you're not going to be able to eat unless you get out i'm going to kill myself no i'd be dead you would find my
00:36:31
body there three weeks later in the skeleton and without any solving any of the puzzles
00:36:36
it's so [ __ ] you're in the first room but you walk into a [ __ ] room right and they go okay have fun
00:36:43
and they lock you and they lock you in no and then you're like and you look around and you don't know what to do meanwhile who
00:36:50
are you with i'm with edgar ramirez how cool janina they're all there charles went
00:36:55
and they're like underneath tables writing down notes they're figuring it out they're figuring it out and they i became the guy to hold things
00:37:05
right they found puzzles right they found like an object he's a keyboard we don't know bobby so you just held it yeah i held
00:37:11
the key yeah you were a table and i would sit there and you know and i would be sweating right and they're like are you gonna do
00:37:17
anything this is it you're doing it that's participating have you tried it
00:37:22
you should you and i should do one i will i i know as a filmmaker andreas we should film andrew
00:37:28
and i doing an escape room okay because they're so [ __ ] hard yeah but they're so but did you
00:37:33
have fun no see that's what i mean they're the opposite of fun that's why i don't want to do it i know but we should do it all
00:37:39
right we'll do it yeah but i don't it's like it's really will you come with us rudy i think she
00:37:44
would be good dude you see she's so exhausted everything you asked herself no it's everything is uh to do
00:37:50
with her why don't you want to do it with us what's the reluctancy i just know that both of you will be fighting
00:37:55
yes okay that's why i know but we need someone there to balance us out so why won't you balance you can be the
00:38:01
the mediator or whatever that is i don't want to be oh great okay great she doesn't want to do [ __ ]
00:38:06
i'm glad you're on the show let me just tell you this and i wasn't going to bring this up but bring it up there's a new there's a new guy here no
00:38:14
no so in our family right there's this guy right i don't want to say his name but
00:38:20
he's younger than you are no he's older than you are okay he's older than you are okay
00:38:25
and he gets kulia korea and you get tito wait what's cool yeah
00:38:31
kulia is brother tito's uncle yeah i'm tito andrew yeah yeah but he's older than you are and he's brother who
00:38:38
is this man i can't bring him his name up ethic is like boy best friend a boy best friend yeah
00:38:46
just a man in her life that was all best friends yeah and she today in the car did they ever date no i think they did
00:38:52
something tells me they did i think a lyla's sister and him dated yeah i think i know some juice
00:38:58
there was something there were some juices yeah exchanged right there were some food she said something today in the car
00:39:03
and how long have you known this guy um two months two months too much right and i asked
00:39:09
you in the car i go who do you like more me or this guy and you said to me
00:39:15
the same equal wow are you serious wow why he just feels
00:39:22
like family let me ask you something dude you gotta
00:39:28
hey this is this family member holy this new family member did he give you a [ __ ]
00:39:34
job what has he done for you did this family give you shelter
00:39:41
what has he done for you has he given you food [Laughter]
00:39:47
he hasn't done [ __ ] what did he do for you yeah he's funny i know i pay for gas time out
00:39:54
yeah he's funny she's funny bespoke post
00:40:01
oh this is my favorite thing we've been talking about box of awesome for a long time on this show you know when you get me a box of offer
00:40:07
i got it i know you got me one it strengthened our relationship well you know why because i picked out cool
00:40:12
stuff that i know that you would like in fact i should get one for rudy but i i don't know if she deserves it because her attitude lately has been uh
00:40:18
not so whether you're out taming the wilder wow whether you're out taming the wilderness or taking uh your home to
00:40:24
pro level heights uh bespoke post only sends guys the best stuff every single month no matter what you're into
00:40:30
box of awesome has you covered oh to get started take the quiz at box of awesome.com your
00:40:37
answers will help them pick the right box of awesome for you they release new boxes every month
00:40:43
across a ton of different categories yeah it's free to sign up you can skip a month or cancel which is really great and they only cost 45 bucks but it has
00:40:49
over 70 worth of gear inside i really do love this stuff man it's yeah i love opening these boxes they always pick out the great things and you
00:40:55
get it's a surprise it's like chris man yeah get 20 off your first monthly box when you sign up at box of awesome.com and enter the
00:41:01
code bad friends at checkout that's box of awesome.com code bad
00:41:08
gabby hey when it comes to car and home insurance don't we deserve better bob we have a car we have a home
00:41:13
i put my policy this test and turn to gabby yeah we switched baby they literally stand for get
00:41:18
a better insurance gabi getting better insurance with gabby means a better price for the same insurance coverage
00:41:24
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00:41:36
and in just minutes you'll be able to see quotes for the exact same coverage you currently have and it's free to use
00:41:42
that's what i did i checked out the policies they have on there what's great is they show you uh the competition so they can prove to you
00:41:48
that they're gonna save you some money and gabby customers save 961 dollars per year on average and they
00:41:54
never sell your info no spam no emails no robo calls it's
00:42:00
annoying they don't sell that stuff so they're great put your policy to the test like i did get a better insurance with gabby it's
00:42:07
totally free to check and there's no obligation go to gabby dot com slash bad friends that's gabby
00:42:12
g-a-b-i dot com slash badfriendsgabby.com bad friends he's a nice guy he is what's his name
00:42:20
i can't say i don't know let's give him a nickname yeah let's just call him frank now toby toby okay
00:42:26
with another toby toby with an eye and then so here's another ridiculous thing so these are like family we got a
00:42:33
new couch and they go tubby's coming tomorrow to put the legs on no i can do that they don't trust you to
00:42:39
do it see look at her they don't
00:42:45
but let me can i tell you something what i don't know how you don't yeah no i know i don't i know and by the way i i'm gonna [ __ ] it up how about this will you ask toby to take
00:42:52
the legs off and see if he can put him back on yeah yeah shoot that yeah but if i if i can put the legs on will you give me
00:42:57
respect maybe maybe yeah but so you know
00:43:02
she likes us the same no yeah she said and also i get back i got back two days
00:43:08
ago and it's like she's just another rude thing today i was cleaning the house
00:43:13
just no one told me to you just started cleaning do you know why because
00:43:20
i'm a good guy you're a good guy yeah clean the house right why did you really clean the house oh i
00:43:26
just felt it was a little cluttered i think i was i made the mess maybe you made it so i'm just taking care of my thing picking up
00:43:31
after yourself i had one cup of coffee on the [ __ ] counter like this that i forgot right
00:43:36
and she goes what the [ __ ] she said that i kind of like that when she gets
00:43:42
assertive like that i do like that she was bossing people and when you were gone dude she would yell at andres
00:43:48
really yes she go get in here idiot and he would come in here oh really yes and she goes i want i want i want
00:43:54
coffee iced coffee and he would go across here and get her iced coffee and one time she took a sip and spit it in his face oh wow she goes too cold
00:44:01
yeah too cold we're going we might going to be going to cancun right we're going to cancun bad friends are
00:44:06
going to come fred's is going to cancun i forgot to announce that that's right we're going to november november
00:44:11
november right first week in november and she and we got her some money to go yeah you're coming with her you wanted more
00:44:17
do you remember that yeah she she goes she goes yeah yeah yeah she goes i'm not enough not enough for
00:44:22
her enough for me i go that because by the way you know what she know what she said to me what do we
00:44:27
all get the same hotel room because i want a suite that's what she says i can see it
00:44:34
you don't get a sweet because we don't get a swede yeah we're all getting the same kind of room in fact you know what yeah you're sharing a room
00:44:39
with george and andre she should go with kalila colette let's go no collateral is gonna stay with you
00:44:44
and she's gonna get her own room and she's and no you were gonna get your own you're gonna share with pete and george and andres how about that
00:44:50
i want my own no no no no you have to share with the boys
00:44:55
yeah i had a sleepless night last night because you were so excited to come here that and also um
00:45:01
i was thinking why don't why why people don't ask me to do those asian hate psas because you hate
00:45:08
on asians all the time no no that's not it i'm a comic right so i make fun of everyone
00:45:14
yeah but asians a lot it doesn't matter if i need a super cut right now the amount of times that you've done like the eyes and all that stuff
00:45:22
that one has nothing to do with the other kind of no no no right let me just say something
00:45:28
okay that i right have a job which is i make fun of a lot of people
00:45:34
everybody everybody right right and it's like but bobby lee as a spokesperson
00:45:41
he does i have feelings and i feel are you are you bobby the comedian right now or
00:45:46
bobby lee the spokesperson right now i'm bobby the spokesperson so you're the peyote shirt that you're wearing right now is this suppo is a
00:45:52
do you think that's a good message we're sending to people you're wearing your show that says payoff it awakens people's minds it opens
00:45:57
people's minds okay good okay okay so and i'm a sober guy and i'm wearing this right so yeah and is that sounding a good message i
00:46:03
didn't know i thought this meant pepsi in spanish
00:46:08
is this a peyote yeah oh yeah i don't know i just got this but anyway um is he racist towards asians i don't
00:46:14
think so yeah no i love asians be honest and also hey is he racist towards the age of
00:46:20
a bro i love dude but let's not get us twisted stop asian hate you
00:46:25
i wanna speak out for but my point is last night let me just finish what i'm saying right you're mad i'm mad i'm going why would
00:46:32
they ask me because they everyone's doing it right who like randall park
00:46:37
john john cho uh ken everyone gets invited everyone but those
00:46:42
are some of you no they're not and i never get asked i can do a watch
00:46:47
let's do one hold on one second look into your single and let's do a real let's give you the lineup no let's do a
00:46:52
real stoppage yeah give me the lines i need someone written out for me okay well let me feed you some stuff and you
00:46:58
figure it out okay so you got to say hey it's me it's bobby lee hi uh okay let me just give you
00:47:03
everything and you can put it together can i just do it yeah do it in real time hey this is bobby lee and i'm a commute
00:47:08
and i don't i wouldn't say that right well people say what they are for you you'd have to because they would
00:47:14
see you and go who the [ __ ] is that right right right hi i'm bobby lee and i'm a podcaster and comedian and a sometimes actor
00:47:21
and in this day and age in this climate in this day and age in this climate i'm getting sick and tired i'm sick and tired of
00:47:26
peop asian americans i can't help myself i can't help myself
00:47:34
kung flu that's why they can't have it because even though you're going to make a joke about it they're because they're never going to
00:47:40
publish that but i thought i thought the reason why they don't ask me right i literally thought it's because i
00:47:46
i know too many white people you're friends with too many wives i have so i'm pretty much i think maybe white
00:47:52
well you're this morning so this morning this is what i did your circle of asians is very small it's the people you live with and that's it
00:47:57
what did i do this morning this morning i woke up early which before nine and i called an asian guy who my friend
00:48:04
gene okay so i go what what's going on just to check in and he goes what's good what do you it's
00:48:10
early i got you wanna have breakfast no yeah i drove to larchmont
00:48:17
to have breakfast with my asian friend what chinese food place did you guys go we didn't
00:48:22
we had we went to um i figured you would go to an age creation create korean no creation it's [ __ ]
00:48:30
juices oh it's like bowls and stuff yep yeah but not sushi tuna bowls like boba and stuff no
00:48:36
that's not bubba dude it's just like regular juice that you want like like bit like bin bin bap and all that yes yeah all right
00:48:42
we went to a korean place we [ __ ] [ __ ] so i'm sitting there right and i'm like you know because i i'm literally thinking to
00:48:49
myself i'm switching it oh you're going to now only hang out with asians i want to start reaching out so that i can get invited
00:48:56
not because you actually like these people i just want people to ask me to do these pca so i asked him i go you know i was
00:49:03
uncomfortable but i go psa is it psa i think it's psa is it what's pca i don't know well what
00:49:10
would you guess the acronym would stand pca what would that public consumer was it pca advertisement
00:49:18
is it public service announcement that's what it is i [ __ ] it up no but your psas are oh
00:49:23
your personal care assistant that's what you are yeah look at that's bobby i don't get asked during breakfast i go so
00:49:30
do you get in the last couple months you've been because he's in the business like you're getting attacked no you know are you you know you're
00:49:37
involved in protests and this and then he goes he does what he says to me he goes no i was in hawaii with adam levine
00:49:42
i go he's more white than whiter than i am then how is he getting involved right so
00:49:48
he's not either but he's not a comedian yeah he's a what is that oh yeah alpha
00:49:53
ears oh yeah kalila sent me this by the way i don't know and she sent me to me too and i know fears are trending in china right
00:49:59
now people are undergoing surgery to get them and you know what yeah this is dope so bobby can't make fun of you anymore for
00:50:05
your ears but i only have one elf show the one elf here take off your headphone and show the one elf here yeah yeah
00:50:11
see so we're so good so look it is an elfie yeah you know
00:50:16
people are shaving the corners to make them look more elfish you would you you could be a good you
00:50:23
could be a good elf i think your attitude is so stinky what did i do
00:50:30
that what's your deal what's going on what's going on with you nothing she congratulated her on her
00:50:37
graduation no it's not that big of a deal because i did it yeah you did it
00:50:42
graduated i can do it anybody can do it pete pete did you graduate high school
00:50:48
yes no way i know did you really pete yeah yeah of
00:50:53
course what high school do you go to peter it's like asking lenny from mice and men [Laughter]
00:51:00
where'd you go high school pete glendora high school where's glendora is that inland it's inland about 20
00:51:06
minutes east of pasadena wow this doesn't matter at all this conversation oh yeah he looks like a guy
00:51:11
that would like just to kill time crush mice in his hand he does yeah he does i took care of them
00:51:20
pete you're a lovely guy what year did you graduate high school uh 2004. did your parents give you anything when
00:51:25
you when you graduated yeah we had a big party but did they give you money or a gift
00:51:30
yes they did what do they give you like cash how much pete
00:51:38
i don't remember i don't remember a bunch of relatives gave me cash did you get money when you graduated you got a car you got a car yeah you
00:51:45
[ __ ] brat what did you get when you graduated we ate at the korean barbecue choson
00:51:51
chosun you don't have a spot tonight saturday i don't took off tonight my mom and dad
00:51:56
are in town it's father's day by the way happy father's day i know your dad is
00:52:05
dead but mine's not i actually have two of them
00:52:10
step dad and a regular dad here's your dad
00:52:16
no you want to wait wait no he's not wait about five years your daddy isn't even this your dad is
00:52:22
yeah yeah your dad's in the wind yeah your dad's dead [Laughter]
00:52:28
you got a dead dad i know dead dad andres you have a dead dad or a real dad a live dad alive that what about you
00:52:36
pete alive dad what about you alive you know what loser i know i'm a loser
00:52:41
but guess what now what when your dads die yeah who's gonna be gleeful you are
00:52:46
you are yeah yeah and i'm gonna spit around your face you know what hey i'm gonna say your dad dad right in your face my dad's gonna live
00:52:54
so much longer i know he's gonna live for a long time he's a terrible person and that's the no he's not yeah bad guy
00:52:59
he's great too yeah look what he raised a piece of [ __ ] garbage don't be mad cause your dad's dead
00:53:06
i'm gonna go golfing with my alive dad we're gonna have so much fun we're gonna go get food he's gonna have a heart attack tomorrow like eric's
00:53:14
erickson lived not your dad you think he's going to die like your dad yeah be ground up into sand and be on someone's mantel yeah where is your dad right now
00:53:20
he's in the garage is he really yeah the bottom half oh
00:53:26
you kept the bottom and and your brother happened yeah god bless you the dead um your father
00:53:31
was a great man and uh he really wasn't he wasn't no he was violent but let's pretend okay but great guy god
00:53:38
bless the dead yeah and i'm sorry that your dad's not around yeah and you know what you're just going to be a good dad and
00:53:44
you're going to do all the things that he never did do you want to tell everyone the good news yeah that you're having a baby do
00:53:50
you want to tell people i told you not to well all right i thought we wanted she doesn't even
00:53:56
know you're having a baby okay we're gonna talk about it dude i
00:54:02
won't we weren't gonna have to talk about it yeah but i [ __ ] told you not to do that okay they'll blank it out they can cut it out yeah but i don't want anyone to
00:54:08
[ __ ] you guys you have to cut that out we'll cut it out
00:54:15
andre's so good to go with the bib we'll cut it out
00:54:20
i'm sorry she [ __ ] okay pretend you don't know
00:54:28
can you pretend you don't know yeah yeah i'm sorry i'm sorry we're not having a baby
00:54:35
you guys [ __ ] it up because that could have been really that could have been good yeah but then him saying they [ __ ] it up it [ __ ] it up
00:54:40
you can't trust spaniards no you you [ __ ] it up a little bit too no i would you should have played it no no no but i was playing it because we could
00:54:47
have [ __ ] her up no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no i was it was it could have made it seem like you still think it might have happened yeah yeah yeah yeah no because we could
00:54:52
have really dug it in i know but i pretended like it was wasn't it was a joke and then she thought in her head well he's just jack
00:54:58
it was good though no you did a good job it was pretty good huh what's the new job that you got will you tell everybody another acting job
00:55:08
they're doing a movie no they're doing a uh a limited series on what i don't know what it is
00:55:15
no what network is on netflix oh it's on hbo yeah wow yeah what are you doing on that show
00:55:20
i play a [ __ ] podcaster no [ __ ] yep they didn't need another one
00:55:27
[Laughter] what do you mean they didn't need like another one with you
00:55:32
no because the podcaster is with the two girls that are on the show maybe they need another guy they didn't
00:55:39
they won't ask them no because it's like let's say let's say i'm just listen to me okay
00:55:45
just hear me out right let's say i'm i'm in the 60s right late 60s and i
00:55:50
i i work for college and i need to put on a show what city i'm in wisconsin somewhere right
00:55:56
milwaukee right you just whatever dude let me just listen to my scenario
00:56:02
yeah and i'm like i need to i need to i need to um get a band right to play our school but
00:56:08
i can't afford simon and garfunkel so i'm gonna hire simon
00:56:14
i'm simon no i'm simon i'm simon no i'm definitely i'm simon you're garfunkel and so they
00:56:20
asked simon i'm simon and they go garfunkel we don't have the budget for him diamonds on the shoulders of our
00:56:25
[ __ ] shoes i'm simon no no way i'm simon dude
00:56:41
yeah you're not pretty enough i'm tina no yeah yeah yeah yeah i know i am bobby
00:56:47
i am bobby who's bobby bobby brown bobby brown tina turner oh tina i'm thinking of
00:56:53
whitney houston no i'm going to be popping if you like i am bobby brown yeah yeah and i'll beat
00:56:59
the [ __ ] out of you yeah yeah you [ __ ] you're definitely honestly though like in wham i'm george michael
00:57:04
you're the no one even knows the other guy's name that's what you are [Laughter]
00:57:09
who's the other guy in wham i don't know yeah yeah no because i'm oh yeah you're
00:57:14
definitely under 50. you're definitely the second i'm the first you really think that i'm the first maybe
00:57:22
i think garfunkel thought he was the first he walked around going you know i'm the first right andrew
00:57:29
ridgely yeah and originally and he was the other guy in the other guy yeah yeah i feel
00:57:37
what is he shooting heroin i mean he must be feeling real bad no what do you mean he's cashing checks i know you know who
00:57:42
i feel how much is andrew ridgely worth type that in that guy's cash and checks
00:57:47
but you know who i feel bad for in terms of music no pete best why you know who that is
00:57:53
why do you feel bad for pete best do you know who that is no then why would no idea i have no idea who that is all right so 30 million
00:58:00
laughing all the way to the planet so let me ask you something yeah so pete best right was the original
00:58:06
drummer for the beatles oh before ringo huh before ringo and he pete best goes
00:58:12
guys i'm going to go to art school and they're like pete please drama with us yeah and he
00:58:20
went to art school that guy where is he now he i don't i mean what happened to pete best what happened to be best
00:58:27
damn that's so sad that's a sad and they kicked and then they were like well you know then they got ringo right and then they
00:58:32
blew up the biggest band of all time having survived depression in a suicide attempt yep makes sense he is now a contended
00:58:39
family man who tours the world with his own group pete best band his his story began in india where he was born to an indian medical student a
00:58:45
british army captain in liverpool wow so he's touring the world now let's look at pete best tour dates can we go to petebest.com and see if some of this
00:58:53
would you go to a pete best show with me i would have killed myself he thought about it he tried i know he's
00:58:59
a family man now that's one that's an old that's a jerry seinfeld joke that i loved what these guys that attempt suicide yeah
00:59:05
they don't they don't complete the task that's just one more thing they're not good at that's a funny joke
00:59:10
that was a great joke it was a very dark seinfeld joke by the way i i have i have a famous musician story
00:59:16
i've hung out with [ __ ] maynard james keenan of tool when i just went to his restaurant me
00:59:21
and rogan went to his restaurant in arizona he has a winery in scottsdale we went to two nights in a row it's [ __ ] awesome
00:59:28
you like tool are you a fan i listened to all their albums well the new one is great we hung out all night it's our
00:59:34
comedy seven dust seven pet pet tempest but with seven census
00:59:40
seven seven six seven that song is great he was great and he fed us wine and told us how he
00:59:45
made he homemade champagne interesting cat you know i'll be honest with you and he said he's a big fan
00:59:51
of the show of what of bad friends don't lie to me i'm lying he didn't say that i know he didn't yeah he had no idea who i was
00:59:57
like he never heard of me in his entire life but did he knows you know he thinks my name is anthony
01:00:04
but i'm a huge fan of him no he was very cool man um you know it makes me jealous that
01:00:09
shouldn't you hung out with [ __ ] kate blanchette and and jamie lee curtis and edgar ramirez and and
01:00:15
what do you mean i went and had pizza at [ __ ] maynard's restaurant that's
01:00:20
true how much do you think her haircut costs 150 bucks how much is it 300 300 to do that you could do that
01:00:29
i could do that at home me and you should do that mm-hmm 300 bad friends we'll do 200 200 we'll do two two two five two two
01:00:36
four two five p you get your haircut for 25 yes where you go to wait let's guess
01:00:42
let's all guess where pete gets his haircut from super cuts you say supercuts what do you say i don't know anything i know floyd's
01:00:48
okay floyd's yeah change your answer what do you say bob's junior
01:00:55
bob's junior junior's a great heart that's a great little haircut i think they all closed but there's still a couple of rounds yeah there's
01:01:01
one on pico yeah yeah yeah i'm gonna guess fantastic sam's i think his wife got this my wife cuts it you pay your wife to cut
01:01:08
your hair no i don't i don't pay her you said twenty five dollars wait wait kalyla and i got a haircut today and i paid for both
01:01:15
of them 250. and yours because it's just a haircut oh is that why it's just stay here wait
01:01:23
a minute wait a minute two minutes like streaks how much yours costs a hundred dollars my guy's the best a hundred dollars
01:01:31
great you didn't do anything different to your hair it looks the same it doesn't look the same you said my face looks thinner
01:01:36
your face does look better then that's it but he just shaved the side of your head yeah but he also does um what he does um
01:01:44
a hundred for a hundred dollars yeah cross-cut what i know what are they called they he uh
01:01:50
how they chop chop layer it right a hundred dollar layering shop yeah there's they're they're really yeah
01:01:57
all right if there's a if there's someone out there that wants to start cutting bobby's hair please let us know yeah cause a hundred dollars is well you
01:02:03
probably cost when you get a thousand twenty dollars because there's not a lot of hair not a lot of hair to cut yeah yeah it's like six or seven bucks yeah but i
01:02:10
don't pay a hundred dollars yeah that's insane you could spend a thousand on your eyebrows though
01:02:16
you generally no your eyebrows are disgusting are you jealous because your eyebrows don't exist yeah look at your little
01:02:22
thin [ __ ] eyebrows so they blend into your face it's beautiful you know what i just don't think you i think you
01:02:28
should keep it like that so you don't accent your eyes that's the problem you don't want to show those things off my beautiful eyes those little beady
01:02:34
holes that you've got all right that looks something yourself oh really oh yeah
01:02:39
oh cancel myself because i said you have beady eyes yeah that's not even a [ __ ] ethnic slur you want to see guys you want to
01:02:46
say of course i do that's what you want but i can't say it yeah you can't say it
01:02:51
because the new york times will say he called one of his good friends the g word say it i can't
01:02:58
one two three what oh i thought you were going to say it thank you for being a bad friend no oh look i thought you're going to say
01:03:05
the g word no one two three [Laughter]
01:03:12
i asked rick glassman if he wants to direct um the bottoms of turtle island okay so i have a proposal for you for
01:03:18
real yeah does that hurt uh oh is andreas gonna direct it well let me let me give you something real yeah
01:03:23
yeah do you know who steve howie is i love steve you know him i love him i did a show with a pilot
01:03:28
with them once okay uh he reached out to me because a friend of his has a script for
01:03:34
bottoms turtle island and they want to shoot it wait wait based on our description of the show
01:03:40
yeah like he put it together do you want to make are you being real i am beyond serious but they they actually have a budget and they actually
01:03:46
are willing to shoot this in hawaii with us about the bottom island i swear to god really i swear to god
01:03:52
it's so ridiculous they want to do it really yes would jules be yes yeah yeah yeah you're in it
01:04:00
you're the [ __ ] it's you you're the lead it's you i don't know how to act you're doing it right now you're doing
01:04:06
it right now you're acting like you want to be here sometimes [Laughter]
01:04:13
who's going to direct it that's up for us to decide i think let's think though do you like andres i
01:04:20
think androids can do it but do you think he's good enough but let's do it we have to do whatever just
01:04:26
for a second because it can't be good no we want it to be bad all right andres you're hired
01:04:31
thank you guys no but andreas really come in here do you want to see him in here yeah he's
01:04:37
down there on camera all right so andrea stay down there in the camera okay all right let me ask you something
01:04:42
all right what would you bring to the movie sell us enthusiasm we're we're taking a
01:04:48
coffee meeting with you right now sell us on the fact that you want to be the director of the film go ahead
01:04:54
look guys little guys no you start off with an insult [ __ ] you
01:05:01
look guys my movie the double below is number three on netflix right now because who i promoted it that's what i'm saying
01:05:07
like this team works oh good twist good sound good so tell me what you what can you bring
01:05:13
to the film that other directors couldn't well i know you guys well for example i i know that uh bobby probably doesn't want to do too
01:05:21
many takes okay that's not true first of all listen that sounds valid no at the end of the
01:05:26
day we we would be directing it he can be on the well you want him to dp it no
01:05:32
he'll be he'll be the director but obviously we're like you you're shooting everything on a medium no get a [ __ ]
01:05:37
wide so we're going to boss them around yeah we'll pass them around okay how many directors can be boss around in
01:05:43
hollywood huh that's true this is interesting this is interesting so are you willing to let us boss you around and push you around
01:05:48
on set and also step on your shot list and and also deny almost every request that you have
01:05:54
oh don't know you do it every week oh andreas and uh this is what's gonna happen this is actually really good we're doing a take on in the movie right
01:06:00
yeah andreas give me a note an acting note and this is what i'm going to respond with well let's finish the scene and then he can tell us all right
01:06:05
so yeah we have to get down there immediately or they're going to kill us would you suck my dick again fine all right cut that's good bob
01:06:12
that was really good thanks man honestly man killing it today what's up that was great but uh can you put a
01:06:18
little more like emotion when you look at andrew in the eyes you know like yeah yeah yeah can you give me a cup of coffee yep coming up
01:06:27
that's exactly what i would say yep yeah yeah fancy maybe you do have the job and then
01:06:32
he comes back with the coffee we've already done nine more takes we already kept going yeah yeah we kept going let's go keep rolling right let's do
01:06:39
this in the runner how many coffees do we send to him to go get oh every time all day yeah yeah who needs to call
01:06:44
background do you need coffee make him get coffee for background right but this is a real proposal we have a
01:06:49
proposal to actually shoot the bottom turtle island that's amazing it's a real thing yeah so um how many characters are in it
01:06:55
that's the thing let me this is very isolated yeah let me ask you something i forget
01:07:02
because i pick how did we get on the island well you were working in your you you were working you went home
01:07:08
to eat ramen below the chinese restaurant that you that's right that's right and you go to sleep and when you wake up
01:07:14
you're under sand in the eye remember that's right that's right that's right and uh so we wake up there
01:07:19
and we don't we don't reveal that mystery yet right is this a short or we're doing a full
01:07:24
feature i think it's 125 minutes we could fill up 225 pages he said we'd
01:07:31
shoot we'll shoot half of it wow i do have a script i'm going to send it to you for real are you being rude i swear to god this is this guy's just so
01:07:38
he listened to bad friends how he called me steve howie yeah yeah who's the [ __ ] and he said hey you know he played a
01:07:45
little catch-up and he goes i have a weird request i have a friend who's a fan of the show he has a script they have a budget they
01:07:52
actually have money to shoot this in hawaii and if you guys want to do it we can do it so i called the guy 100 percent i called
01:07:57
the guy and i said is this sir are you for real he i swear to god and he sent me the materials and he's and he said this week when you
01:08:03
talk to bobby about it and i said well we'll talk about it on the show wow this is going to come become a reality so what's the budget
01:08:08
though i think they all i think they all turn in their permits for money and then right it's like a hundred bucks
01:08:15
right let me ask you something could we we're going to lose money on it but it's going to be fun as [ __ ] oh yeah because
01:08:20
we we won't get paid no paid no there's no way no yeah you won't get paid and then we you have to take a boat to
01:08:26
get to hawaii yeah yeah but for for makeup and special effects i already know the woman i want to use
01:08:31
okay fine jen espinal okay it's locked it's whatever we want they want to work with espinal okay she's uh she's won some
01:08:39
awards but she did she was snl now you can't afford someone that's won awards dude no but she's a friend we're working
01:08:45
on a shoe she's she did snl for 20 years oh bro back in the day she's not doing this and that yeah
01:08:50
and then she did mad tv when i was on for like 15 years we can't ask her for a favor she's a real she's really no jen espino will do
01:08:57
it she will yeah and she's great at prosthetics and special effects imagine her listening to this in her car being like
01:09:02
no no i'm making jen asked bill do it okay cause that's where the money will
01:09:08
go i'm asking the money will go there well the money has to go to like editing and all that [ __ ] and cameras how do we get her to look like that
01:09:15
she kind of looks like that that's true that's true that's not a lot actually you know what yeah yeah well we just have to grow out your
01:09:20
fingernails and dye them yellow yeah yeah but this is this is going to come to fruition yeah that's amazing those that
01:09:25
sleep will die first that's what they say you cannot sleep yeah this is amazing it's a great story
01:09:31
and the fans want it the fans want it it's ridiculous it's gonna i think i think it's gonna
01:09:36
happen in between all the other stuff that you've got going on we do need to make this happen for real i i i would not work again to make this
01:09:45
happen really 100 okay this right here yeah is going to ruin our career
01:09:50
[Laughter] it'll be it's dead okay but
01:09:56
i have to see it through yeah it's one of those things like if it dies it dies but what would this really truly this
01:10:02
could be one of those like this is like us sucking each other there's a lot of dick sucking in it but that's
01:10:07
dude is that in the script i think so yeah yeah yeah it's 20 21 dude people are down for cool
01:10:13
[ __ ] like that now i know but isn't there like let me say when we're in the bottom isn't there a lot of guys in there we're all
01:10:18
there's a lot of fellini [ __ ] going on yeah yeah yeah yeah there's a lot of men blowing each other
01:10:24
caligula tons of caligula yeah but the cool thing about what's going on right now societally
01:10:30
is that who's gonna get mad at us for doing [ __ ] like that on film but let's try to
01:10:36
make it great we're gonna make it really good no i'm being real so am i yeah yeah i wanna do i wanna make this movie
01:10:42
yeah let's make it great but here there's only one point of contention what the guy said
01:10:49
we love you guys but we also know globally we want to sell tickets okay here's let me just say guys
01:10:57
here's where the slam is he's going to slam me and it's going to hurt but i have a slam
01:11:02
back so honestly honestly yeah i'll only do it if bill burr plays your part
01:11:09
okay okay and if ken jong plays your part then i'll do it all right so we're not gonna get it slams aside we
01:11:14
do have to do the whole thing in chinese because they need to sell this to china
01:11:20
okay that's the slam no that's a you slam no i'm just saying do we talk like that
01:11:25
we have to talk like that or they can't just get a guy to dub it i'll have a chinese guy that'd be funny but this doesn't need to sell overseas
01:11:31
okay no one's gonna do we don't let me ask you something our audience is huge in china i know but huge no they're not yes we
01:11:38
have a ton of chinese fans when i was in [ __ ] hungry i was testing it out hungary isn't china i know but i went to
01:11:44
i tested it out i went to there's this place where there's a ferris wheel and skateboarders and all these young kids
01:11:49
that's where the chinese are no in hungary i got recognized for a month and a half twice from [ __ ] bad friends hungary
01:11:58
twice that's not our market that's not our market yeah our market is ireland philippines
01:12:05
china yeah korea not really yeah yeah yeah
01:12:10
it's mostly china all right speaking of did you see john cena speaking chinese no what no can you play this clip can you
01:12:18
play john cena you don't know this no he called taiwan [ __ ] i'm gonna [ __ ] it
01:12:24
up john cena speaks no that's not it it john cena apologizes in chinese
01:12:54
[Music]
01:13:16
i love and respect
01:13:30
again it really doesn't respect the chinese people
01:13:38
right what he did was he called taiwan what did he say about taiwan go back just mesmerized that he could
01:13:45
speak chinese that well yeah it was it was unfucking real startling to me you know i i've done two sketches
01:13:51
with them do you have children do you ever see 24 where johnson apology because we refer to taiwan as a country
01:13:56
can i promote my own [ __ ] this whole show yeah i do if you go to
01:14:02
youtube 24 with bobby lee and john cena have you seen it yeah yeah thank you for being a bad friend
01:14:11
that's a good option
01:14:18
[Music]
