00:00:00
You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? A white dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. Well, you two are something. We're bad friends.
00:00:12
Look who's here. I know. She lives in my house. Does she really? We clean. No, you don't. Yes, we do. No. Here's what
00:00:18
Here I So, I give her a hundred bucks, right? Yeah. Just do this $100. Just do this little small laundry. Yeah. Stays in there for 24 hours in the dryer. Oh
00:00:29
my god. Right. And then I go, "You're not going to fold it." She goes, "I folded it right away." I know. After I
00:00:35
said something, for $100, what do you have to do in the Philippines to make that? Yeah. What do you have to do in the Philippines for $100? That's a lot.
00:00:42
Well, you have to be the fastest tree climber in the neighborhood. Yeah. Yeah. What can What's as 100
00:00:48
American dollars, how many uh It's 5,000 pesos. What can you get for 5,000 pesos in the Philippines? Buy a whole village.
00:00:55
I know. Property, everything. What can you really buy? Say seriously like what does 5,000 pesos get you? An iPhone.
00:01:01
They said a pesos like it's Oh, iPhone is more expensive. Yeah, it's like a hundred,000. Are your iPhones made out
00:01:08
of coconut shells? Yeah. Like how do they get all those components in there? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:01:14
It's breaking off. Yeah. Okay. Wow. Remember you can buy a lot of clothes for shoes. Shoes. But you'd have to work how long to get to get 100 5,000 pesos,
00:01:25
do you think? Um, I think two days. No, more more. Yeah. Like, oh my god. So, 1 hour laundry. Look at this. This is the average daily pay in the Philippines varies by region,
00:01:37
but the minimum wage for non-aggricultural workers in Metro Manila is 645 pesos and he gave you
00:01:44
5,000 pesos. Yeah. And so when I say do the laundry, does it mean just leave it in the dryer? I just I I want to understand your the language, you know, I mean, if I'm going being direct, I I
00:01:55
don't know. Do I be do I have to be specific? Yeah, because you were like, "Oh, can you do the laundry?" I thought you just meant just put it in the
00:02:01
laundry. That's only one half of the laundry. I know. That's just one half. The hard
00:02:07
part is folding it. Right. Right. That's what I'm paying you for. What? I had fun
00:02:12
folding it. You like folding? I like folding. Yeah. Yeah. But I had to ask you the next day. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. The
00:02:19
average monthly salary for a housekeeper, what you're asking her to do in the Philippines is around 14,000 pesos. So, you got you got onethird of a
00:02:27
month pay in one day. Yeah. I got to I got to tell you, this is it's too much. It's too much. I think I'm paying too much. You are? Yeah. Yeah. Why don't you pay them in pesos? Can you do that? Yeah. Mexican pesos. Yeah, that's right.
00:02:39
Yeah. Is it the same thing? No. If I got pesos in Mexico, can I spend it in the Philippines? They'd take anything down
00:02:44
there, I'm sure. Yeah. Yeah. Let's introduce introduce our guests now that we've just bered them for Yeah. Yeah. five minutes. Well, we got Jules, you
00:02:51
know, we have the old school Rudy Jewels is back. Back, you know what I mean? And then we have uh her little sister, Issa.
00:02:57
Isa. Isa. Isa. Izzy. Like how old are you now? I'm 17. Wow. Mhm. That's Rudy when we started. We started when Rudy was 17. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And uh you were a little nervous before. Are
00:03:09
you nervous now? No, I'm okay. Because you know us. You know us now. No, you don't know him. I've met him like four times. That's enough times. I know. But are you still be honest with me
00:03:20
because he's a lot. Are you scared of him? Are you scared of Andrew a little bit? No. Yeah. Why won't you lock I lock
00:03:27
eyes with Andrew? Lock eyes with him. She's not. I know, dude. But the way you lock eyes look eyes with me. I see. I have to turn over. You're like a dog. Yeah. Yeah. My my [ __ ] trembles,
00:03:38
dude. It does. And it goes puck. You mean the inside of my butthole comes out a little bit. It's my my body going,
00:03:43
"No." What? You know what I mean? The hat a little bit high. Uhuh. Pull the hat a little high. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, dude, dude, dude. Dude, dude, do what you do, dude. Do what you do, dude.
00:03:54
Yeah, exactly. Do what you do, dude. That was out of pocket, bro. Yeah. Yeah, dude. I gave him this gift and he's talking to me. Give me the shirt back now. I'm going to do it, too. Oh my god.
00:04:07
Oh my god. Oh my god. I'm protecting the equipment. Take it off. Come on. Oh my god.
00:04:29
I feel better now. Illegal. That's a warning. It's a warning, dude. God, dude. He ruins the show. You ruin it, dude. You put us in bad moods, bro. Why do you do that? Yeah, you put us against
00:04:40
a wall. We have to fight our way out. Yeah. Yeah. Ruined it. Yeah. But you know what you you guys are right now?
00:04:45
What? You guys are Simon and Theodore. Who's that? Oh my god. Alvin and the Chipmunks.
00:04:51
Oh. Oh my gosh. No. Alvin and Theodore. Oh, Alvin. Alvin. Alvin and Theodore. That's what we are. Yeah, that's us. Are they the bullies? Are they the bully?
00:05:06
You [ __ ] up. Back up, dude. Back up. Keep it up. Keep it up, dude. We bought you gifts. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. By the way,
00:05:13
you know what? He texted me cuz we have to do I we have to do I have to do a read for my show. And I said, "Oh, okay.
00:05:18
Can we can do we can do it after or we can do it before bed." And he's like, "Come to the studio at 6:00." And then I
00:05:24
hit him and I said, "I can't I can't make it at 600. I'm meeting up with you." And then he says in the text, he
00:05:30
goes, "I'm already here, but fine." I I almost got up. I almost got up. No, stop. Stop. I almost got up. I almost got up. Oh my god. Fine. Fine. He's gotten Dude, he's gotten so Carlos, say
00:05:44
it though. He's gotten way too much lately and he's It's going to his head. I can tell. Is the stars on your face a
00:05:50
fashion statement? Yeah. Okay. Is it It is for pimples, right? Mhm. Yeah. But you don't look like you have any pimples. Are there pimples under there or is this to look cool? Yeah, there are pimples. Isn't this This has got to be a thing to look cool now, too. Yeah. You
00:06:02
wear them sometimes. I I wear them when they're bad. When I'm when they're bad under the skinnies, you know, I had a
00:06:07
deep one when you knew it was going to be a [ __ ] volcano. Yeah, it was Pompei, bro. Did it
00:06:13
explode? No, but I for 5 days. I just kept putting those [ __ ] stickers on. All right, Izzy, what's been going on with you in your life? Um, it's been fine. My school just ended like two
00:06:23
months ago. So, what are you doing now? Now it's summer for you. Um, like before I went here, I was doing nothing. What
00:06:30
are you going to do here while you're in LA? not do laundry. Sounds like not. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're just having fun.
00:06:35
We've been going out like almost every single day. Where are you going? Where you go out? What is going on? Oh, can I say something? Okay. The other day, the
00:06:41
other day I go, you guys are going to go do something. Mhm. And I go, can I go? And they go, "No." Why don't you take him? We cuz he was making it awkward. I
00:06:52
said, "Oh, we're going to get coffee." And then he started smiling. He likes coffee. Do says coffee to me. Hey, do
00:06:59
you want to get coffee? Oh, let's go. Oh my god, how fun. Automatic reaction. He's excited. I love coffee. I told him
00:07:05
you can come, but then he was like, he started laughing and making it weird. No, no. And I was like, maybe that's weird then. No, no, you made it. No, cuz when we were there, you weren't even
00:07:16
there. We were waiting for you. We're like, where's the tobi? I told you I wasn't going to go because of the the reaction of you guys. No, then you said
00:07:23
you would go and then you said that if I see you, I won't even talk to you. Yeah, but that's normal. That's normal. That's
00:07:28
called a joke. Yeah, he's just joking around. I'm just joking around. Dude, the fact that you wouldn't bring to Bobby for coffee kind of breaks my heart
00:07:34
a little bit. It breaks my heart. Makes me think that your Jules is a little too her head's gotten a little too above it.
00:07:39
Above it. Yeah, she's above it. Yeah, she's graduated. And she's getting like that too now. She's going to start
00:07:44
soaking up. Oh, she's going to be the worst. Yeah. Yeah. See, look at that. Yeah. I can already tell your attitude. Even as a kid, you were [ __ ] too much
00:07:51
attitude. Yeah. Yeah. You went through your phases, huh? Remember you went through your emo phase? Oh my god. Yeah.
00:07:57
Yeah. I'm I'm going to die. every single time. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to dye my hair and be all sad and cut myself. What
00:08:02
color did you dye your hair? I dyed my hair pink. That's not too That's not that bad. Is that you? There you are. Yeah. Yeah, that's me. Yeah. Is that
00:08:09
you? No. Okay. But they all look the same. Every emo kid looks exactly the same. Are you through? What phase are you in now? I don't know. Uh-huh. Chill.
00:08:20
Are you chill? I'm chill. Yeah. I know. I know a new word. I know a new word. I want to learn about what the kids are
00:08:25
saying. She's skippy. Oh. Oh, you're so scy. Skippidity. Skippy doo da skippity day. Why oh why wonderful skip? Very good. I don't know. Skippy slang. What
00:08:39
does it mean? YouTube videos. A filler word like uh cool, bad, or dumb. So, it means everything in. All right. Let me
00:08:45
see if I can use it in a sentence. Yeah. Yo, man. Did you poo poo on your face? This? Yeah. No. No. This isn't poo. This
00:08:52
is just It's just a little bit of sunscreen. Oh, you're being stupid. You just say you have to say yes. You have
00:08:57
to yes and it why you don't know improv. You have to yes and the [ __ ] thing. Dude, why do I have poo on my face? It's
00:09:04
a sketch improving. You could ask me anything. Are you hungry? I would have said yes. You said I poop on my because
00:09:10
I was trying to make it foolish. Like ask me again. Yeah, ask me again. God, man. Sorry. Ask me again. Anyway, do it
00:09:18
again. Hey, man. You got uh No, do the same thing again. I You got chunky poo on your peanut poo on your face. I do. Yeah. No, I don't. Do it again. You're
00:09:31
doing You're doing it again, dude. Give me a It's anti- comedy when you're doing
00:09:36
it. Do it. All right. All right. Yo, man. What a party. Whoa, whoa, whoa. You have poo on your face. Yeah, I do. You
00:09:44
have skibbity poo all over your face. Yeah, I'm being skibbid. You're skibing right now. Yeah. Yeah. Sick, dog. that I
00:09:49
mean we went all that way to get to there. I know. I just had to foil the bit. Okay. How do you What does skibity
00:09:55
mean? I have never said that word. But do you know what it is? You've seen it on the internet. What's some terms? We
00:10:00
want to learn terms. What do Filipino kids say? You can say bang. Boang. What does bang mean? No, it has to be harder. Boang.
00:10:12
What does it mean though? Crazy. You're being right now. You climb that tree too fast. You guys are using it right though.
00:10:24
Exactly. Cuz we're smart. It's like somebody chokes you. Yeah. Yeah. Sounds like a chicken. Sounds like a nut
00:10:30
disease. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sorry, sir, but you have. I go, really? I'm both. Anyway, give us more terms.
00:10:41
What are the Filipino kids saying right now? Like your like your age is my age? Yeah. Oh, guate. Oh god. Let me guess what that means. Okay.
00:10:53
Stinky feet. No. Let me get No. Um. Oh. Oh, you you're swimming in a bog. Poo on your face. No. You're swimming in a bog.
00:11:01
Yeah. How come? Whenever I say a suggestion, you bury me with [ __ ] poo on the face. I'm sorry. What is going on
00:11:07
with you today? That's our relationship. I know. All right. Go. Yeah. Yeah. I just threw it out that it wasn't good what I said, right? But I'm just
00:11:12
guessing. What is it? Say the word again. Yate. Gatai. Yep. Grandma, did you make some kayatai? Oh, it's a good dish. Yeah. Oh, no. That's the thing. Um, no. It sounds good. Really? Yep.
00:11:24
Yeah. How come you're walking so slow? Oh, my get hurts. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's pretty good.
00:11:30
What is it? Yeah. It means [ __ ] Oh, actually, we were close. Pretty close. You got on your face. Yeah, I got on my
00:11:37
face. Yeah. Yeah. But it's more like, oh [ __ ] Like, oh, I just did something. Oh, I stepped I stepped on a nail. Oh,
00:11:42
gate. Yeah. Wow. Oh, what's that mean? What does that mean? Just an expression. We're learning everything. It's new. I like it. Give us more. Give us more. Also, you like you
00:11:56
like you like uh Sublime? I just noticed that. Yeah. Do you like them? Uhhuh. You know they're playing again. His son is
00:12:02
playing. Yeah. You don't know. You don't know that. No. She doesn't even know. Do you know the songs or? Yeah, some. Okay.
00:12:08
Give us one. I don't know. Canteria or something. Sing it. I don't know it. We don't know it. You have to We don't
00:12:14
know. You have to say I don't know anything about it. It was before my time. Way before my time. Yeah. I'm more into, you know, I mean Bach. Like it's
00:12:19
before your time. You know, you're not Yo, you're Beetho. Yeah. Deucey Ludvik. Yeah. Yeah. Um Go ahead. There's the
00:12:27
lyrics. There it is. He brought them up. Yeah. Yeah. Um I don't practice. I ain't got no crystal ball. Well, I had a million dollar
00:12:40
I'd spend it all. Jules next line. Go. If I could find that Hannah H. Wow. Is that scho that she's found? Well, I'd pop a captain in Sancho. And I'd slap
00:12:54
her down. What does her down? What does Soncho do for you to put a cap in him? Well, let me tell you something. Soncho Soncho is her new lover. That's ex's lover. I don't know. I don't know the lyrics. Okay. Also, you know what
00:13:09
bothered me about the song Forever? What? Go up there. He says, "I don't practice Santia." Santia is basically it's card reading, tarot reading. It's the same thing. I don't
00:13:20
have a crystal ball. Okay, got it. Well, I had a million dollars, right? Uhhuh. But I I'd spend it all. So he said he had it. Then he said if he did have it, he Well, a
00:13:32
santia is 6 point $600,000. Oh, right. Yeah. And a crystal ball, a high-end one, $400,000. So a million dollar. That's a million. Yeah. Oh, that's what it is. That all adds up. Yeah. Yeah. If you want high-end, when I get it, I get
00:13:44
high-end. I get it from Gandalf. Yeah, this one. I get my crystal ball from Gandalf. No, you get your crystal ball from uh uh Huh? Andria. Andria. Yeah,
00:13:52
Andria. Cuz Andria's right on the show. And at Sant Black Market. Oh, you do? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah. I'm getting
00:13:59
everything on from a black person. I get it on the white market. You do? Yeah. You play retail? I like the white
00:14:05
market. Yeah. I'd prefer the white market. Can you buy centuras in Philippines? Yeah. Yeah. Are there palm
00:14:11
tarot readers in the Philippines? Palm readers. They got real ones. What do you mean real ones? Like they're legit. We
00:14:16
have real ones here. No. No. I think they have the legit ones. We have them too, dude. We have them on Ventura. There's like three of them that No, they
00:14:22
have scarves on their faces. They have the whole Oh, scary ones. Do Yeah. Filipino. Oh, that looks real. Look at that. Look at that. Oh my. Look at the
00:14:29
[ __ ] cars above. Black figures like that. What does that mean? Uh, one day you'll be black. No. Jay-Z Jay-Z.
00:14:39
And like my aunt did a reading and then this old lady like she did like read her
00:14:45
palms and then the old lady was like, "Oh, you're being followed by this um capray who wants to [ __ ] you." What's a cop? What's a capri? It's like an It's like a like a gorilla
00:14:59
Carlos is a copay. Is Carlos a copy? Yeah, he smokes uh Capri smokes a lot. Yeah. Yeah, but they live like in the trees. Copay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If you weren't in the stage, you'd be copy
00:15:11
first of all. King Copay. So, wait a cap was following her trying to attack her. It's No. [ __ ] her. Cuz like he's the
00:15:18
Capri is like obsessed with her. That's what the Wow. And did she ever did the Capri ever get her? Yeah. I don't think
00:15:25
so. But then the old lady was like, "You have to get out of town because this is like Okay. Okay. That is Carla.
00:15:33
That's a cop him. Wow, dude. Oh my god. Oh, dude. Dude, copies are cool, bro. So
00:15:40
rad. Yeah, he's he has an old Oh, there's another one doing karaoke. Oh no, he's he's blowing up. That's
00:15:46
definitely Carlos. That's Carlos. Look at his hairline. Yeah, that's a cop right, dude. Yeah. Wow, dude. That's
00:15:52
100% Carlos. That cop. Give me more cop. I like that. Oh, right. That's Wow. Yeah, that's a [ __ ] Have you guys ever seen a cop around the Philippines? But I I No, but I saw the shadow of one.
00:16:04
Oh, I got a shadow of copper. Yeah, it could have been a monkey, but No. Okay. Okay. Oh, what's the difference between monkey shadow and copper shadow? Copper is bigger. They're like huge. Look, it's
00:16:15
the size of a tree. Look at that guy. He's Look at the Look at the second photo that you brought up. Second one. He's sitting in a tree. I mean, look at
00:16:21
that big naked guy in the tree. Yeah. Yeah. You would be able to spot a copay. Why is he balding? Yeah. Why is the
00:16:27
copay balding? I don't know. Yeah. And what is he blowing on? He's smoking. Oh, okay. Okay. Wait, they smoke? They sit in the trees and they smoke. Wow. I would do that. This is 100% you. Yeah.
00:16:39
Yeah. I would love to do that forever. Can we get that on a shirt? Are there Are there good copres out there? Like, hey, I know you I'm going to invite a
00:16:45
friend to this party, right? Like, hey, dude, Andrew, I have a friend. Who? Yeah. Who is it? It's a cop. You want
00:16:51
him to come to my house? Yeah. H What is he bringing? You have trees at your house? Yeah. My whole front yard is
00:16:56
filled with trees. Yeah, he'll be up there. Okay. All night. All night long. Yeah. Yeah. You want to come inside,
00:17:01
man? sitting in the trees all the whole party. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, this woman got chased by the copre or it never happened. Yeah. You would come inside. I mean, this is insane. Yeah. Look at that. That's a little Filipino kid with
00:17:13
one. Yeah. Can you train to be a copyright? I mean, like if I was born in the Philippines. You were You were
00:17:19
supposed to be born, not trained, to be a cop. What do you mean? Can I be born How do I be born to be from another
00:17:24
copy? He's not allowed to dream. Yeah. Yeah. You're taking away his If I was a regular person, I couldn't dream to be a
00:17:30
copyright. It's like I want to be a ninja, too. Why can't I be a ninja? Well, I can't. No, I mean, you'd have to be big enough. Uh, how big? Oh, give us
00:17:38
the details. How big are cop rays? Tall dark figure reaching up to 10 feet in height. That's pretty tall. They look like Michael Yo, then. Yeah. Okay.
00:17:46
They're trickster figures who play pranks. Oh, but they don't kill. I've heard they kill. Really? Go down. Go show more. Let me see if they do kill. Yeah. Yeah. Capreser said appearance
00:17:56
first. Well, appearance says a copres describe as tall, dark figure, sometimes reaching up to 10 feet in height. depicted hairy humanoid with long legs.
00:18:03
Coppers are said to dwell in large trees, uh, bamboo, mangoes, belly trees. They're also seen under these in pass and forest. Mischievous, playing pranks on people, make you lose your way in the
00:18:14
forest and then you all your [ __ ] disappears. Over here. Oh, here. You love this. They have the power to remain
00:18:20
invisible. Oh, that's why you can't see them. Children or people with a special third eye can see them. Oh, wow. They
00:18:28
You have third eyes. I think so. Yeah. [Music] I feel like it's something that you would know. Yeah. I think you'd know by now. Like a tale. Like you'd know if you would know if you have a third eye,
00:18:40
you'd know. Yeah. Can you really see aberitions and and ghostly things? Not right. No, but when I was younger and when I was living in the Philippines, like like in my old house, I I saw like
00:18:53
an old lady like just floating and I told my mom that and she was just like, "Oh, that's just nothing."
00:19:02
Capraor. Capraor. And there's Oh, but you know what? Um, she can also feel if there's anything
00:19:08
around a space and there's nothing in your house, so that's good. Well, okay. There's nothing in his house. Wait,
00:19:14
wait, wait, wait. Jules, you you know this about your sister. She can feel what's in her space. No. Like, if
00:19:20
there's anything in the space, any entity in the space. So, in my house, there's no entity. Mhm. Do you know why?
00:19:26
Why? Why? Because my entity is stronger. You seanced it, didn't you? I seanced it out. Yeah, it's cool. Yeah. Yeah. Who's
00:19:32
your entity? His name is Dave. You guys don't know him? You don't know Dave? No, I've never seen him. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's there. Yeah. He's better than Copra. I want you to come
00:19:42
over. I want you to come over and see if something is in my house now. I think maybe I have an entity. She has it. She has the ability. Cuz I'm telling you,
00:19:49
some nights when I go take the dog out to piss, I'll walk down the stairs and the dog and I will be walking, this
00:19:54
happened twice. We'll be walking down the stairs to go outside and we walk down the stairs and we get to like the bottom to turn the corner and she'll
00:20:00
stop and I'll stop and I'll kind of and I'll like feel it feels really weird and
00:20:05
the dog will kind of stop and look inside the front room and then she'll quietly move back to the door. But I can
00:20:12
feel something is different. It's very strange. It's happened to me twice now. You know what happened to me, right?
00:20:17
What? When I was in Oklahoma City, this native guy picks me up to because I was doing that movie and he goes, "My
00:20:25
friend, you you have a spirit following you?" Yeah. Following you. And I go, because earlier that day, I saw a lamp in my hotel room, but I saw something
00:20:36
flash to my right, like a black figure. And I kept seeing I called Kalila, actually. Oh, yeah. You remember? I
00:20:43
called Kalilla and I go, "I literally think that there's a spirit." And then he goes, "You you must get Sage." So I
00:20:50
bought Sage. Did it help? No. No. Yeah. Yeah. But he disappeared eventually. Wait, no. So, how did you make it go away? Because I'm dating a witch. Oh,
00:21:01
that's why I think I'm dating a witch. Because you want all that [ __ ] gone? Yes. Does she sage you? Yeah, she shaged
00:21:06
me out, dude. Shag? Yeah. So, there's this Reddit story. I forgot exactly how it went, but basically it was this guy um he was talking about how he like he lives a really good life. He has a wife
00:21:18
and kids and stuff, but then he looks at the lamp on this like the corner of his
00:21:24
room and then it starts to look weird and then just everything that he knew just disappears. His family disappeared,
00:21:31
his wife, his kids. It was all like it was all like It is an illusion. But he lived through it. He lived through it. like having family, right? Having kids
00:21:42
and Oh, it's it's like the inner light then. [Laughter] You have no idea what you're I'm talking about, but he still pointed he still
00:21:56
pointed at me like he knew he knew what I was talking about. I was amazing. He goes, "Oh yeah,
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00:24:34
god, my arm hurts from the rollerblading. Well, look, you fell hard and I'm telling you now you can use Zachdoc. Zakdoc is a free app and
00:24:40
website where you can search and compare high quality in network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment today. I mean, I guess we're talking
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00:25:28
doctor today. That's zdoc.com/badfriends is zdock.com/badfriends. Dude, that was insane, dude. Yeah. Yeah. Inner light. Yeah. So, Inner Light is a Star Trek
00:25:45
Next Generation episode. Do it again. What? You know what it's like? It's like Inner Light. No idea. So the it's so it's you know um
00:25:57
you know Adam Egan from the comedy store. Yeah. He hated Star Trek Next Generation, right? But I told him to
00:26:02
watch this episode called Inner Light. It's the second to last episode on season 5. We I feel like you told me
00:26:08
about this. Yeah, I've talked to you about this episode, but it's much like this episode. You know what I mean?
00:26:14
where Jean Lu Bard lives a complete and utter full life in 60 years but only five minutes passed. Wow. Yeah. That's You know what that's like? That's like a mushroom trip. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's
00:26:25
happened to me on a mushroom trip. I've lived like five lives. Oh yeah. If you ever if you ever want to watch the best
00:26:31
sci-fi episode of all time, I think that's the best TV episode of a sci-fi show. I need to watch it. Yeah. It's
00:26:38
incredible. Where is it on? Is it still on the internet? Yeah. Can I explain to you the episode or No, probably not. No.
00:26:43
Okay. Okay. No, necessarily one of my passions, but okay. I'm telling you, man. You the girl
00:26:50
these girls have energy that it's good. Yeah. It's like the room feels different when they're here. It's good. What does
00:26:56
it feel? I don't know. It feel It feels like chaotic. Feels chaotic and like Yeah. It feels like [ __ ] like jazz
00:27:02
drums. It's like incor. Yes. Did you see it? No. Oh, okay. What? Why'd you see this? What's wrong with you today, dude? Dude, the poo face thing. Now I'm saying yes to everything. Oh, I see. You want me to
00:27:15
say yes? Oh, yeah. I want you to say yes. Cheesy. Yeah. Do you see? Jordan is so hot in that movie. All right. Which
00:27:21
version of them? Not the horny [ __ ] Both of them. Both of them. I know. I've heard cuz he plays so twice, right? He's
00:27:26
so hot. Bring up photos of him without a shirt on. His arm. Michael B. Jordan is jacked. He's so
00:27:31
such a good-look guy. It's unbelievable. Yeah. Wow. It's crazy. Whoa, dude. Jesus
00:27:38
Christ. That one's inappropriate. That's inappropriate, dude. Oh my god. Imagine.
00:27:44
Imagine this is Jules once says chocolate guy. Yeah. She's looking for chocolate. Have you had chocolate? No. Yeah. Yeah. Would you do this? Would you
00:27:50
do this chocolate? She said last time. Yeah. Yeah. How many chocolates did you do? How many bars? A lot. Yeah. A lot.
00:27:58
Okay. Rudy, now you're single. You can go date chocolate if you want. I I think she's I honestly, can I be honest with you? Okay, go. I don't think that that's that's an interest to you. Dating? Yeah.
00:28:10
Like right now? Any time, I guess. Yeah, you you dated for a long time, right? Yeah. I just want to rest. But it's like I can't I just want to rest. Like you were jogging. Like she
00:28:23
was jogging. Yeah. That's I was 23 when I started standup. Her age. It's unbelievable. Same thing. And when I
00:28:28
look at her, I go I was that young. It's crazy, man. Isn't it crazy? It's [ __ ] crazy. I was that young. Yeah. I was 22, 23 when I started. Yeah. Oh, we got some submissions. Oh, so we got BBC
00:28:40
submissions. BBC Big Black, huh? Okay. And so what? So we got BBC submissions to date Rudy. So who's this first guy? Yeah. Let's see the first guy. Let's see the first submission here. Uh this guy
00:28:53
is Sean Harris. Yeah, he's 28. 28. He's an Aries. What's up, Sean? Credit score 720. That's good. Business credit 84. Not bad. He's 6 feet tall. He's got a Honda Civic. Working on it. He's an
00:29:06
artist consultant. Lives in Pennsylvania. travels to New York a lot for work. That's neither of those places are here. And Rudy, you're gorgeous.
00:29:11
Follow my IG. Uh to the bad friends. Love y'all. Keep it up. Okay. So, let's see. First photo. This guy. Okay. All
00:29:19
right. Well, he's he's out there. He's smoking weed, maybe. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Weed. Not Oh, he wraps. Oh, he's
00:29:26
handsome. How do you know from what the microphone covering his whole face? Yeah. But I from I am good. What about
00:29:33
this? Cute. Yeah. Yeah. Smoking again. and smoke it again. Better with a microphone on, huh? Yeah. So, this is
00:29:41
his Instagram. This is actually one of his uh this is on one of his songs. Oh, here we go. Damn, Jay. I see you.
00:29:50
I'm No, he smokes too much for me. I think he smokes too much. Let's get a different contestant. But we do like
00:29:56
him. He You like him a lot. Very talented. You know what my my problem with that guy is? Who cool? Oh, too cool. Way too cool. Okay, Rudy's BBC
00:30:02
Dream. Next up is Hey, fam. Not sure how to do this. My credit is 653 and my dick
00:30:08
passed my belly button soft. I love One Piece. Tell her what up. Okay. All right. Any photos? No. Oh, there he is.
00:30:15
Yeah. No. What? How old is he? He's 52. I can't tell. Oh, he loves horses. He has a kid. Yeah, he's got Why'd you see the horse first?
00:30:28
[Music] I just don't see a lot of black people on horses. Do you? I mean, let's time out. Do you
00:30:35
see? Wait, dude. Let me think about it first. Okay, just think about it. I've never seen a black guy on a horse. I've never seen a black guy skydiving or
00:30:41
drink coffee. Or drink coffee. What? What? Wow. Okay, next up. We like him though. This is for the girl BBC request. Haha. Her chocolate love. Tell her follow me on Insta. Yep. Here we go.
00:30:54
Chocolate love. Can I Can I ask something real fast? Yeah. They all put their credit score in there. Did we ask for that? I think you did ask for. Yeah.
00:31:02
Yeah. You're being you're being protective. Well, I Well, first of all, first of all, yeah, Bobby, my friend,
00:31:08
you guys are laughing at me. My friend said I'm being protective. I want to make sure they have a bright future and
00:31:13
so Jules can be taken care of. Exactly. Specific. I said what? Yes, but that and the car. That's why they Well, I want to
00:31:20
know do do Okay. Does Jules want to date someone who's making less than 5,000 pesos a day? No. No. This is my case. Exactly. There he is at a mall by a
00:31:31
fountain. Bro, you walk into the West Co West Kavina Mall and you see that guy sitting on that fountain. Dude, what would you do? Run away. No, you wouldn't, dude. You're like, "Let's get an acai bowl together or whatever." Go
00:31:44
back to the mall photo real fast. I got to tell you the truth. Look at those lips. Nice lips. Nice lips. Big lips.
00:31:50
I'm telling you, my my guess is he he is on break at the kiosk he works at and took that photo. That's a guess. What
00:31:57
kiosk is it? They probably Wait, wait. Look at me right now, dude. No. Well, yes. Yes.
00:32:02
What kiosk is it? I think they fix iPhones. Okay. Good. Good. Mhm. He likes tattoos, though. I just feel like he loves himself, too. Oh, I see. Tattoos on the face. Do you like tattoos on the
00:32:13
face? You do? Wow. Yeah. All right. Okay. But I feel like the the title alone was just like, oh, BBC request.
00:32:21
Haha. Yeah. Yeah. You don't like that haha. You don't like the haha part. I understand. You know what? And he's half
00:32:27
naked in a parking lot. Yeah, you as a sister, you wouldn't approve. I wouldn't approve. I get that. Moving on. I get
00:32:34
that. And very smart to say. The haha does throw you. Chance to meet Rudy. Hey guys, he's white. Yeah, but can we can
00:32:41
we mix it? Can we mix it up a little bit? You can't have BBC and be He might have a big black day. I don't know. I
00:32:47
may not have a BBC. All right. All right. All right. Being white and all, but I'm 32. I think Rudy would have fun
00:32:54
with me. My credit score is in the 700s. I drive a Lexus ES 350 and I have a cruiser motorcycle. Let me stop you
00:33:00
right there, pal. We're not letting our kid get on motorcycles. I mean, look at the photo. He What if he has a WBC? Let
00:33:05
me see. A white black hawk. Let's see. Let's see if it has a white black. Yeah. Yeah. Zoom in. Oh my god. James Dean, dude. Screenshot
00:33:15
of it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. A screenshot next. Give me next photo. Oh, so you're interested. Nice, man. Uhhuh. Hello. Happy Thanksgiving.
00:33:26
Right. You can imagine him saying that. By the way, that definitely is a Thanksgiving photo. Yeah. Yeah. There is the cruiser motorcycle.
00:33:32
All right. We're going to unfortunately pass. We're going to pass on that. Going to pass for Rudy's love. This next
00:33:38
guy is uh 2561 black guy. I love how he just rode. I'm 2561 black guy. 690 credit score with a 2016 Mustang GT. Uh he's in North Carolina. He's in school to be a doctor.
00:33:50
A doctor. Wait for it. In physical therapy. All right. So it's not it's a doctor. What do you think it's leaning
00:33:57
toward? Doctor or physical therapy? It's physical therapy. Is this him? My man. My man. I need PT. So maybe we can hook
00:34:03
this up. He's a child of God. That is good to know. That's really good. There he is. There he is on Main Street. Just
00:34:10
doing his thing. He's doing his thing. This guy, dude. Dude, that Go to the slide before. It was literally just like
00:34:15
seconds before. Go one more. It was just like This is like all the same day. Zoom
00:34:20
in. Zoom in. What do you think he's doing there, bro? It's just it's it's like this is like
00:34:27
moments later he took these photos. People my age post stuff like this. Like seconds later, you took the same photo.
00:34:33
Go back to that photo. The first one. It's like a slide of time. It's a chronological
00:34:39
What is he looking for on the ground there? You tell me, bud. No, no, bud. I'm throwing it. I'm making it up to you. No, what he's looking for on the ground. You tell me. No, you tell me, my friend.
00:34:50
You tell me. No. Um, he he dropped his keys. Oh, he did? Yeah. Yeah. Is that what's down there? I don't know. But do we like this guy? He's okay. But all his pictures is like of his back. He likes
00:35:01
his back. He has a great back, dude. Kid's got a good back. Look at that. And he always has scripture on his back.
00:35:06
Yeah. I have a guy who dresses I mean I have a classmate who dresses like this. What do you mean you have a guy? What
00:35:12
did you mean by that? I have a guy classmate who dresses like that. This guy loves words on a shirt. And this
00:35:19
guy, what does he What kind of shirts does he wear? your guide classmate. The ones with the words on your back. What does it the word say, Issa? I don't
00:35:26
know. I forgot. I don't look at this guy all the time. Okay. I got to tell you though, I like this guy. That last shirt he just had. I really liked. What's the
00:35:32
last? It's your person behind me. The world is a better place with you in it. A I like that kind of stuff. We like
00:35:39
that kind of stuff. That means his heart is good. Yeah. You know, but you don't like him, do you? I'm not vibing. Okay,
00:35:45
move on. No vibe. All right. I'm from Canada. I was just there. Maybe maybe I can get a date with Rudy. He's in Edmonton, Alberta. Okay.
00:35:56
I'd rather date the dog. I'd rather date the dog. So, what the [ __ ] is that? That's Josh. He's half black. Half black. Half native.
00:36:15
Find and go up. Whoa. That's the guy, dude. Wow. Look at him. Look at Oh my god. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Does he do
00:36:27
standup? Is that what that is? I Well, it also did He can't memorize his jokes. He's reading it off his phone. Wait, go
00:36:33
down to the next one. Yeah, that's it. Okay. Where's his Instagram? He didn't leave it. Oh my god. [ __ ] Rudy. This
00:36:39
might uh We might have to put the brakes on that. Yeah, we might have to put the brakes on that. Yeah, he's a long face.
00:36:45
He's a long Yeah, quite a long face. Yeah, quite a long face. Anything else? Nothing. Well, we have other applications. Yeah, please. More,
00:36:51
please. This is Gary Nelson. Okay, first of all, that's not a black guy. Gary, find out.
00:36:58
I bet I bet he is. Find out if Jules would be up for two BWC. Big white [ __ ] Yeah, that's a white guy. Yeah. Okay, let's look. Send a video. You said to Gary. Haha. Here you
00:37:10
go, bud. This is like a video of him jerking off. It [ __ ] better not be. It better not be or I'll get angry.
00:37:18
Hey, Bad Friends family. The reason I think I'd be a good match for Rudy is I'm obsessed with One Piece. I love how gross she is.
00:37:29
I I love how she doesn't have a filter. We're both on the spectrum, most likely. I have a fat dog. A and a fat cat over
00:37:37
there eating some food. And I've got a big white dick. Hold on. I I We're the parents. Yeah, that's first of all, I'm all in. First of all,
00:37:51
I'm all in as a parent. I only have one big fear. What? What? Go back to it and don't play it. Just Oh, yeah. Okay. Push pause. Pause. Now, now like scan to when
00:38:02
he scans the room. Okay. Ready? Yeah. Let's look at the background. Okay. Okay. Up when he goes back up again there. Stop. Stop. Okay. What is going
00:38:09
on back there? This is a basement. Dude, you're right. And that is scary to me. And let me say something. Who lives
00:38:16
above? Parents. Parents. Mom and dad. Yeah. Mom and dad. Now, the only thing that would give that away is not a
00:38:21
basement in a weird turn of events is that is a doggy door. It'd be weird to have a doggy door in the basement.
00:38:29
But I will say for the cat. What? It's for the cat. He can run. You know what? I I I don't think it is a basement.
00:38:36
Yeah. I don't know what he said, but I'm a cat and dog, too. Sorry about that, girl. No, that was
00:38:55
understandable. Thank you. Thank you so much. You're a regular. You're a regular. You're a regular on this. You
00:39:00
said that was understandable. Cuz you were like, "Oh, that's a doggy door." And he was like, "Oh, it's for cats, right?" Oh, exactly, dude. You get it in
00:39:07
the Philippines. You You understand? Broke my head. Down too hard. Okay. Let me tell you something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Here we go. Cut it out. Cut it out. Cut it
00:39:20
the [ __ ] out. Yeah. We're trying to do an investigation here. For Rudy's sake, cat. Why don't you say squirrel? Yeah.
00:39:26
That's a hamster door. Yeah. Hamster d. Come on, guy. Look at all the [ __ ] species. So, tell me, is this guy of
00:39:32
interest? I like that he has a cat and a dog. And a fat dog. Fat dog is cool. Fat dick. Fat dick. Fat dick, too. Okay. All
00:39:39
right. Sweetheart. Sweetheart. Oh, sorry. Sorry. Okay. Sorry, honey. Okay, baby. My mom. What? Huh? My mom. I am.
00:39:45
She is. Hello. That's so obvious. He's your mom. Go to the next applicant, please. Well, we'll put him on hold.
00:39:51
Okay. Who's this next guy coming over? He has He doesn't even He didn't even say anything. So, um, we're going to
00:39:57
meet Zach. Oh, I'd love honey. Sweetheart. We're going to meet Zack. All right. I hope Jules picks right. Oh
00:40:03
my god. Oh my god. Pause. What? What are we in Gaza? Why can't I say that? He can. He can. All right, here we go. Don't judge me. My I I watched your shows in the shower.
00:40:16
I don't touch myself to He's naked. Yeah. To Bobby in the shower. I just watch your shows in the shower. Anyways, uh Rudy. Yeah. 100%. 100%. Yo, honestly,
00:40:29
we want her on the BBC side. I've talked to a few of the BBC community members. English. We were thinking like Rudy
00:40:36
Jules, like she'd be great part of the community. Um, let's let's just let's just exclude Bobby from this conversation for just a second. You wait. Stop push push pause. Hey guy,
00:40:47
what's your obsession with me? She mentioned you three times. I know there's some sexual tension between me.
00:40:53
I think he wants you. Yeah. I don't think it's about you. I think it's about me. Yeah. And no thank you, dude. I
00:40:59
think you should get with him. He's really funny. And I like how he's like kind of nervous to talk about my sister.
00:41:05
You think he's funny? Yeah, he's kind of funny. He's trying to be funny. No, he's funny. God, the humor. No. Yeah. The
00:41:13
level of humor in the youth. All right, let's go to the next guy. Next one, please. I don't think we can have you get that guy. Zack. Hi, Zack.
00:41:19
We liked him though. Zack, we love you, Zack. We love you, Zach. You're a handsome Z. This guy has a 2022 Chevy
00:41:24
Camaro. He put that in the subject line. Hope Rudy likes my car. If not, uh, please show it on the next episode. Oh,
00:41:30
his photo is going to be bad. I think it's a video, I think. Yeah. Jamal, I hate car guys. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Already. Oh, another back. Okay.
00:41:43
Oh, he you can do that. He can do a figure eight on the freeway. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. That's pretty cool. I know you want a BBC on the next best thing. Big brown weenie. Ah, a BBW.
00:41:58
Big brown weenie. I'm trying to fall in love with Rudy. I'm 26 years old and I live in East LA. Okay, this one's
00:42:04
finally in Los Angeles. Oh, dude. Whoa, honey. I really like him. You like him? Yeah. He's spicy. He's spicy. What? Zoom
00:42:11
in to his face. He's flicking off the camera. Oh, no. I don't know. His attitude's attitude a little aggressive.
00:42:18
Yeah. Is there another photo? He sent a video, but it's just like him at a party. Let's see. We We love to see
00:42:23
party people party. Love to see parties. I'm going to see how he parties. You like to see him party, sweetheart? Yeah. If he parties hard. There he is. Oh
00:42:35
[ __ ] That's like an anime party. He's got good friends. Good friend. Look at him.
00:42:42
I actually think this is a smart move. He's showing you that he has fun people around him. A girl is sitting on a
00:42:47
fridge. I think this is actually very intelligent. Let me see the girl in the fridge. It's a girl on a counter.
00:42:54
Counter. Yeah. Look at her. Yeah, he's so scared. Oh, she's so cute. Okay, that guy. Look at the Groucho. Groucho's at
00:43:01
the party from Sesame Street. Everybody's here. Everyone's here. Bernie or Ernie?
00:43:07
Everybody. Look at this guy. A young uh what's his name? How come there wasn't a
00:43:13
Mexican character on Sesame Street? Groucho. Who the [ __ ] is Oscar? Oscar. I mean, I
00:43:19
mean Oscar. Hey, Groucho. Yeah, Oscar. I mean, yeah. Oscar. So who's Groucho? Who's Groucho? Groucho Marks. Marks. Groucho. Marks. Marks brothers. Yeah. Okay. Wait a minute.
00:43:30
Oscar wasn't Latin. He wasn't. Okay. Think about play Oscar and let's just close your eyes and see what he is. Just close your eyes. Okay. Visually.
00:43:43
Visually, what is he? Mexican. Why do you say that? You Spanish oppressor. Why do you say that? You oppressor. It just has good style. Okay, nice try, pig. Yeah, nice [ __ ] Let's
00:43:56
do a video so I can hear what he sounds like. I forgot what he sounds like. This over with. Okay. Well, Oscar, thank you for coming to the LA Times to answer our very important questions. You're not
00:44:12
welcome. Okay. I already know. H a fentanyl white. Uh Fenty White. Yeah. Yeah. Fenty White, right? A Fenty White. You know, what do you think he is, girls?
00:44:24
I don't even know. Yeah. Yeah. White. Yeah. Okay. Play it right there. Yeah. Go ahead. Years that I'm quite fond of.
00:44:32
But uh a Grouch's motto is your next piece of trash could be your best piece of trash. He's an oldtimey hobo. Yeah. He's old timey guy. Yeah. Old timey hobo. Old white guy. Yeah. He hops on a
00:44:43
train. A box car train. Heck. Exactly. With with a thing. Is a leg missing for some reason. He wasn't even in a war. Is
00:44:48
that the last BBC? Uh I think we have one more. Let's see it. Aaron Taylor, Anaheim 6'2. Wow. He says full sack. What does that mean? Full sack. He's
00:45:00
He's I think he's he's got a full sack. Yeah, it's filled with other things. Credit score 580. Not great. Not great.
00:45:08
2001 Jeep Grand Cherokee. He met Bob Bobby Lee in a 7-Eleven. Okay. That's where I meet my black eyes. That's
00:45:15
7-Eleven. Yeah. Every time. There he is with his mom. Oh, great. He's cute. He's so cute.
00:45:21
Oh. Whoa. Like we're surprised he can do that. I would expect that. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, he loves sunsets. That one, honey. That's
00:45:33
great. He loves sunsets. How old is he? He looks like This one's from 5 years ago. So, Oh, right. It's
00:45:41
It's okay. Give me another one. Uh, that's it. But we do He uh he left some of his music in here. He They all leave their music. And I'm like in the ocean like Avatar style. I'm swimming with the
00:45:54
Yikes. There's a mermaid. No, that's not Oh, it's my lover. Hey. Hey. It's my lover. Uh uh. I'm blue in the ocean.
00:46:08
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00:47:37
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00:47:43
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promo code space 80. That's what I came up with. I'm blue. And that's it. By the way, I [ __ ] I love that beat. He's my number one. Me,
00:49:17
too. I think he's my number one. We go on a date with him. Yeah. All right. Aaron, we'll set it up. The funniest
00:49:23
part is he had the worst credit score in the oldest car, but the beat's so good. We love him. Yeah. Yeah. And it looks
00:49:28
cute. The picture like every girl. Yeah. Well, he's with his mom and I don't know who the other lady was. But the mom is
00:49:34
key. But they were happy. Yeah. Yep. They were really happy. And that's all that matters. That's all that matters. Are you happy? I'm happy. Are you happy?
00:49:42
I think he looks Okay, good. Yeah. Just diverts the question. You think he looks what? I think he looks a lot like um
00:49:49
Kendrick Lamar. My brother. Okay. He looks like your brother. What? Yeah. You don't see it? No. No. Really? No. I'm
00:49:56
just saying he just looks a lot like our brother. Yeah, but don't say that. He reminds me of my brother. Okay. Okay.
00:50:01
Anyway, he doesn't follow the Bad Friends account, so we can't call him. But if he wants to call Oh, that's nice, too, that he doesn't follow. And he's
00:50:08
not a fan. You don't want What are you trying to do here? You're She She's a wedge. She doesn't want it to happen. Do you see that? Swimming in the ocean. I'm blue.
00:50:20
Swimming in the ocean. I'm blue. I'm Avatar. Swimming in the ocean. I'm blue. Blue.
00:50:28
Swimming toward my lover. I like it. I like it. Nothing. But nothing. No. Swimming toward my lover. I do. I do.
00:50:41
Okay. We like them. We like him a lot. Too bad we can't call you. We can't call you, guy. So, I I feel like you're a wedge. I
00:50:49
I feel like you're being more picky than her. Well, yeah. Why? Why? Because I'm the sister. Yeah, but what do you give a [ __ ] Yeah. What? You don't even live here? Yeah. No, but I call her all the
00:51:00
time. Yeah. How long? So, when you're in the Philippines, how many days a week do you guys call? I mean, I never call like
00:51:05
months will go by. Yeah. It's just texting. Just text. But you text every day? No. Like once a week? No. No. Once
00:51:12
a month? Yeah. Yeah. That's interesting about siblings. Like how how often do you talk to your brother? Like once a
00:51:18
month. I call my sister today. I do think I try we've connected more as our parents have
00:51:24
gotten older. Yeah, that that is a big piece of it. Yeah. Yeah. Because I used to hate Issa. You used to hate her. Why?
00:51:32
I just like I was just annoyed at her. Like I would just beat her up and just and Can you beat her up any You can't
00:51:38
beat her up anymore. Not anymore. Cuz you're stronger than her, aren't you? I I I want to see you guys fight so bad.
00:51:45
So, do you have a high school love when you're you're in high school still, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You have a senior next year? No, I'm a junior next
00:51:52
year at 17. No, cuz I had to repeat a grade. Why? Which one? I had to repeat seventh grade. Why? Because D. I wasn't. I don't
00:52:10
Hey. Yeah, you're being mean. I am. You're being mean. All right. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I was just if you
00:52:15
could finish it. Say sorry. Can you finish it? AB. Okay. No, I have to say sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Isa. You
00:52:22
were depressed. I was really depressed. You was going your emo stage? Yeah. Yeah, I feel you. So, you never went to
00:52:29
school? Yeah. Well, I stopped for a year. Yeah, I went to school for like half of the school year and my school
00:52:35
was like they were doing it was mental month, mental health month, and then we were doing this um this forum thing and
00:52:43
I was like, "Oh, I'm going to answer it properly." So, I answered it properly and then they called my parents and said
00:52:49
what? like, "Oh, you need to get your you need to get your daughter out of school." Oh, because it was that bad.
00:52:55
What were you I mean, sometimes we talk about serious things. I was just wondering like I mean, are you through
00:53:00
all that hardship and that? Okay. What happened? Did you go to therapy? I mean, what happened? Yeah, I went to therapy.
00:53:06
Yeah. Yeah. And I was on anti-depressants. Which one? I don't know. I forgot. But I forgot that. I
00:53:12
mean, I remember that it was a lot. I was on it. I took them for a while. You did? Yeah. Yeah. I f I hated it cuz your
00:53:20
parents are, you know, I know your mother well. Your father's a lawyer. A judge. A judge. Oh. Oh, [ __ ] Huge difference. He was a lawyer when I met him. No. Yeah, he I didn't know he
00:53:31
upgraded to a judge. He's a judge now. That's amazing. Wow. So, your father's a judge and you just have good jeans. Mhm.
00:53:39
You mean cuz your your honey is your mother is hilarious. She's crazy and crazy and fun. We love her. We love her.
00:53:46
And I love your daddy. He's very stoic, you know. So, you have good, you know, family, right? You have a beautiful
00:53:53
sister and two brothers. And you have a dog at home? I have a lot of dogs at home. How many? I have six. No, seven. Seven dogs. Holy [ __ ] That's a lot. Any
00:54:04
of them fat? Yeah. Yeah. Do you know Do you know those dogs or No, I grew up with two of the uh three of the dogs, but then when I left, I they got more.
00:54:16
It's too many dogs. It's way too many. I mean, it's too many dogs. What's the max dog? Three in America. Yeah. The must
00:54:23
most pets you can have, I think, is three or four in California. Well, no, no, no. Three is number of dogs. Four is
00:54:31
number of combo pet to me. You can have as many as you want. I don't think so. Really? Yeah. Los Angeles County legal limit for dog household is four. Yeah. All right. But
00:54:42
that's but that's what I'm saying. But to me, three is the most dogs you should have. And if you have a cat, that's it. Four, you're done. Four animals and you're done. We have five. I'm going to
00:54:54
call the cops. Yeah. The legal limit for the number of dogs you hold in this household in Chicago is five. Illinois
00:55:00
is fine. Wow. Good. Way to go, Chicago. Let me ask you ladies something real quick just about our house. You know, how long does cat vomit need to sit
00:55:06
before you clean it? Oh my. Yeah. What's the timeline? Yeah. What's the timeline? cuz you know you've been doing three or
00:55:12
four days now and you are you waiting for it to harden or what? Have you seen the house? It's clean. We cleaned it
00:55:17
last night. Is that how you talk to Exactly. That's exactly what it is. That's insane. Yeah. I don't charge
00:55:23
rent. All right. I provide them whatever they [ __ ] want. Right. And that's the
00:55:28
way they talk to me. Dude, I'm just saying why are you complaining? There's no there's no mess. Okay. But I'm just
00:55:34
saying that for two days there was c vomit by my bedroom door. How? How? What? You could you can't clean it. Oh, here we go.
00:55:45
I I I know. It's It's gotten so out of control. It's It's bad. It's really bad. It's so bad, dude. Because Aren't they your cats, too?
00:55:58
Dad, I'm so angry. I can't control myself. Oh my god. So, um, you know, I don't want to get rageful right now. And I do. I want you to You really do because pushing all your buttons. All right. All right. So,
00:56:16
okay. Here we go. All right. So, number one, right? When you were in high school, right? Okay. All right. How long
00:56:21
did you live in my house? Like 3 years. Yeah. Did you pay any rent? No. Okay. Yeah. That's big. That's huge. Yeah. Yeah. Whenever we go out and eat, right, do I pay every meal? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:56:36
Have you ever picked up a tab? No. Yeah. Did I invite you to be a part of the one
00:56:41
of the biggest podcasts on planet Earth? That's right. Uh I think Andrew did. That makes Yeah. Yeah, I did. But that being said, you're my partner, so we did together.
00:56:54
All right. So all right. How is this relevant though? Wow. Wow. You know, I mean, I'm just asking, right? I'm just asking, can you please talking about cats and their vomit? Yeah. Yeah. Can
00:57:06
you please when you see that? You know what I mean? Because you know I've been so generous and open, right? Then maybe
00:57:12
clean it fast. I do clean it. But you let it dry for 2 weeks. Yeah, cuz you have to let it dry because I don't want
00:57:18
to get it when it's wet. It's gross. So how often do cats throw up? A lot. You're our cats throw up a lot. A lot.
00:57:26
Why is that? I overfeed them. Right. Okay. So it's mainly your fault. So what? What? What? Giggly, what's I think I
00:57:37
think you need to start from where the problem is. Where's the problem? You overfeed the cats. Heavy.
00:57:51
So many buttons. You guys are Yeah. Yeah. What? What are you talking about? No, I want to say something. Okay. And
00:57:57
yes, I you know Gobi and Julio, they're getting fat. Why? Because of you. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Why? You feed them a whole chicken. I know. From Zenku. No, not
00:58:09
from Zenku. What is it? From Kismmet Rotary Chicken. Oh, Kisman rotisser. Rotissery. Oh, delicious. One of the best, right? Yeah, it's delicious. I get I buy them a whole chicken. Yeah, sure.
00:58:20
And I feed it to them. Doesn't that makes sense? I'm the bad guy. But then at said you can't feed them that. Yeah.
00:58:26
We're co-owners, right? Why does her Why does she trump what I have to [ __ ] what I do? Yeah. I'm so mad I can't even talk, dude. All
00:58:37
right. Why? How come? It's 50/50, right? Yeah. Because it's ethical lie. Yeah. It's what? What? She's the emperor.
00:58:43
Yeah. No, she's not. I'm the king. They both said yes at the same time. Do you not respect him at all as the king? We
00:58:49
He's not the king. Wow, dude. Wow, dude. What are you talking about? Africa is like the king and you're like I'm like what? She's the king. Yeah. I Okay. So,
00:59:03
what am I in Games of Throne? You saw Games of Thrones, right? Game of Thrones. No, it's called Games of Thrones here on Bad Friends. It's Games
00:59:10
of Thrones. All right. You saw Game of Thrones, right? Who am I in Games of Thrones? You're like, who's that? Um the
00:59:17
Cersi's um son. Oh, yeah. Joffrey. Joffrey. I'm Joffrey. I'll talk. But then it's no bite. All bite. Yeah. No bite. No bite. Do you think that's Bobby? That's me. The evil one. Okay.
00:59:31
And who's Kalila then in it? I guess Cersei. She's Cersei. You're right. She's evil as well. Probably worse
00:59:38
significantly. You know what I am dude in that world? Jon Snow. Yeah. Jon Snow. Oh, you're Jon Snow. I'm
00:59:44
Tyrion Lannister. There it is. Yeah. Yeah. The little guy. That makes sense. Really good advice. Yeah. I'm the hand.
00:59:50
Wise. Smart. helpful. Yeah. And and by the way, hot. Tyrion Lannister. Yeah. You think Wait, you think Peter Dinglish is hot? Yeah.
01:00:02
Would you? Yes. Yeah. You would date Peter Dinglage? No. Who is that? That's That's Andreas for sure. No, that's
01:00:08
Bobby. You think that's Bobby? Yeah, that's Andreas for sure. You know, right? You're trying to put that up. You
01:00:13
You're trying to say that's him. They say it. No, no, no. You I just Dude, I [Laughter]
01:00:23
Oh my god. Yeah. That's not That's you, dude. And then um you know who Carlos is? Ramsey Bolton. Oh yeah. Yeah. You're
01:00:31
Ramsey Bolton. Oh. Oh yeah. Yeah. The crack addict. Mhm. Ramsay. You are. Who's Mone? Oh, I know. Already know where he is cuz I rewatched the series. Who is I went from one to
01:00:43
eight again. You did? Yeah. Who is he? He's [ __ ] the the baker. Oh, the fat the fat baker kid. Yeah. Yeah. just not like an NPC, not really in the show, you
01:00:54
know what I mean? That that's you, dude. Like, what's his name? You know, he has night terrors. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
01:01:01
So, that's you, um, Mone. Yeah. Let's hear. Can you do an English accent? What should I say? Pretty good, dude. But be a baker. Yeah. Yeah. We're Okay,
01:01:13
we're at a bakery. Bobby, you're back again. Okay. We're at a bakery. We're That's pretty good. We're at a bakery.
01:01:18
We're at a bakery. Ding ding ding. Hello, sir. Oh, hello. What do you have fresh? We've got some fresh buns right
01:01:25
here for you. What kind of buns? Grain. Grain buns. Honey, they have grain buns. I don't like this guy's grain buns. The grain buns are [ __ ] disgusting. They have terrible. Yeah. What else have you got?
01:01:38
Yeah. What else do you got? We got a croissant. Oh, we love France. [ __ ] Show us
01:01:46
the croissant. I only have grain bones. I know. I was lying. Our our English kids, Ari, what what does our English
01:01:52
kids want? Hello. What do you two want to eat? Yeah. What do you want? Order from the man. Order from the man. Go on.
01:01:58
Uh, I don't want them grain buns. Well, you her accent is there. And our other daughter who's, you know, a little eccentric, you know what I mean? And, um, got the tism. You want grain buns or not? Yeah.
01:02:13
Do you want grain buns or not? Do you guys have an English muffin? She's our oldest one is
01:02:25
she went to boarding school. Sorry, lads. Yeah. Yeah. In All right. Outside with you. Outside. Way outside. Yeah.
01:02:31
Excuse us. So funny. So funny. That's actually pretty good. Yours was actually really very good. Yeah. Why didn't you
01:02:37
try? I can't do accents. Yeah. Yeah, you can. You've done them on the show. You've done it on the show before. Maybe
01:02:42
you should come to London with us. You don't want to. You need a visa, too. Okay. Oh, okay. No. Rain on the [ __ ]
01:02:51
parade. Rain on the parade, dude. Yeah. Jesus Christ. Just trying to have a good Pretty good English accent, M. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Not bad. Have you
01:02:57
heard Carlos do it? He's pretty good, right? Powers. Yeah. Oh, shagadelic, baby.
01:03:04
I hate it so much. Andreas, you do one. I couldn't even do an American one. Let's hear an American accent. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What's up, man? Welcome to the Trump store. Say, "Hey,
01:03:17
welcome to the Trump store." Say that. Hey, welcome to the fire. Say it again. Hey, what store is this? What store is
01:03:24
this? Oh, welcome to the Trump store. What? Dude, welcome to the Trump store. This is the only job you could get. You
01:03:30
realize that, right? Yeah. Yeah. Be careful because this is the only [ __ ] job you're going to have in town. Honey, honey, what a beautiful store. I love
01:03:36
this store. I You know what? I've always wanted a a Trump poncho. Well, let's get you one. Excuse me, sir. Yep. What up?
01:03:46
Yes. Do you have Trump ponchos? You have ponchos here? That's all we have. What?
01:03:53
All we have ponchos. Are you You don't sound like you're from here. Are you from here?
01:03:59
Where were you born, man? Louisiana. What part? Vouch. What? She He said Vatoo. Vatau? Yeah. Where's Vatau in Louisiana?
01:04:14
Is that New New Orleans? Yeah. Where is that? Where is it? Close to New Orleans. Close all sir. You're fired. You're
01:04:20
fired, dude. Get this guy out. Yeah. Call Ice. Call Ice. Call Ice now. Yeah. Yeah. You do realize that you literally
01:04:26
could work no other job besides with us. Like this is the only one. Can you imagine without us? Where would he be? I
01:04:32
don't know. You know where I tried to go last night? Tell me. I waited in line and we couldn't get in. What? Jumbos.
01:04:37
What? Clown room. I haven't been in so many years. Who'd you go with? Well, I we didn't go. We never got in. We walked
01:04:42
in line. Wow. My buddy, you know, Sean Malto. Yeah. Maltto and I were going to go with our ladies and uh my cousin and
01:04:50
nothing. We w we walked It used to be you could walk in pull-up jumbo. It's one of my favorite. You used to be able to walk in. There was a huge line. It
01:04:57
sucked. And so we left. This place is the best. It's the best. I went I googled I I've been watching a lot of
01:05:03
Sean videos. Maltto. Yeah. Yeah. He's so talented. No, we love him. Yeah. Yeah. He's the man. David Lynch claimed he
01:05:10
wrote Moleholland Drive at uh Jumbos. Shut the [ __ ] up. That's amazing. Is that a real story? He wrote Moleholland
01:05:17
Drive at Jumbos. Oh, Blue Velvet reportedly wrote the screenplay for Blue Velvet at Jumbo's Clown Room. Better
01:05:23
movie, I thought. Even better. Yeah, Blue Velvet's so good. I know. But I love Mullhalland Drive. Me, too. Such a good movie. But Dennis Hopper and Blue
01:05:30
Velvet. What a creep. It's a great movie. I'm just saying when he said I love You guys like David Lynch? I don't know. They have no idea who that is.
01:05:35
Yeah. Yeah. You never heard of David Lynch? How could the How How could she? I I I don't want to get in this
01:05:41
argument. How could she know? I I I just don't want to get into this. She's wearing a shirt of a band she doesn't even know. I I think she knows. I I
01:05:47
know. Actually, she did know Santia. He did know Santia. Yeah. He was a very um Well, it's a one-of-a-kind director. When you watch a David Lynch movie, you immediately you know it's him. What are
01:06:00
his like popular movies? Blue Velvet. Um Elephant Man that Gen Z would know. That's the problem. That's the problem now. Well, well, they would know Twin Peaks because Twin Peaks they remade into a show. Yeah. You guys know Twin Pe
01:06:13
Twin Peaks? Laura Palmer. There's a new show. When was the new Twin Peaks out? 17. Yeah. It's not that long ago. You
01:06:19
know that alien baby I have in the living room? I don't know if you've seen them. That's from Eras Your Head. Oh,
01:06:24
yeah. I'm a very big fan. You guys wouldn't know any of this stuff. Yeah. How? Yeah. But he's and the Cohen
01:06:30
brothers. You don't know. Cohen. No. Wow. It's crazy. Well, when do you mean what? Well, it's like who's they have their They're not film fans. Well, their generation has what they were watching the other day. Oh my god, it's driving
01:06:40
me crazy. Yeah. Yeah. They don't know this, right? But they're watching some sort of like overcompensating. Yeah.
01:06:46
What is that? Is that TV? Some Gen Z story. Yeah. And they were laughing. It's a movie or TV show? Yeah. TV show.
01:06:52
But we were watching um an episode with Bowen Yang. Yeah. And his um podcast host and Tito Bobby got so got so mad. No, I didn't. I get that. That's insane. That's insane. I love I'm a big bone. I
01:07:05
bet you got mad. Okay, that would be Wait, hold on. Hold on. Let me see the Let me see the show. What is the show
01:07:11
about? It's about this um gay guy who No, that's too controversial for me. Wait a minute. Yeah. Yeah. A new Gen Z show about a gay guy. Yeah. Yeah. Huh. And
01:07:23
where is it on? Prime. Amazon Prime. Amazon. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's so funny. It's a good show. So, it's about a gay
01:07:29
guy. Yeah. But he's still in the closet and he's just trying to figure out he's already in college. And he's like trying
01:07:35
to figure out how to Yeah. Yeah. And it's so fun. What are you concerned about, honey? You should watch it, honey. What are you with these kids today? This once again, this is Hollywood pushing a gay narrative. Yeah,
01:07:46
man. To the world, dude. Making everybody gay, dude. Is that Is that guy gay? Yeah. Is that guy gay? Is that dude gay? Yeah.
01:07:59
So, it's about him coming out. Mhm. Does he ever come out? He does. Yeah, in the
01:08:04
first season. Mhm. Really blowing their load there, huh? Jumping the shark. It's a big show though. Big popular show.
01:08:10
People must love it, I bet. Yeah, they must love it. Yeah. I think I think you and I think Andrew I think we're out of
01:08:15
touch. No, I wouldn't say Yeah, I think we are. I wouldn't say we're out of touch. I'd say we are. We're stuck in
01:08:20
the past. I feel like Andrew is more open though than you. He's What do you mean? Cuz you got so mad. You told us never to
01:08:33
mention Bo and Yang ever. All right. Cut all you're cutting all cut all that out. Cut. Don't cut that out. That's
01:08:38
hilarious. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, I didn't. I love him. I'm a big fan of his. No. No. First of all, we're leaving that in. And let me tell you why. Why?
01:08:45
Because you you can then be honest. That doesn't mean you don't like Bowen Yang. It just means you're a little jealous.
01:08:52
And that's okay. I'm jealous of his career. That's what I'm [ __ ] saying. He's in Wicked. He's in everything. I never got that. And that's out of
01:08:57
jealousy. And I'm a [ __ ] I'm a loser. And I'll kill myself. Please don't. Okay. Is that what you want? This is
01:09:02
what you [ __ ] did. Look what you guys did. Bo and Yang or death. What? Yeah. What? Choose. Choose. Look at him. He's
01:09:09
the future. Wait a minute. Ch. Those are the same things. Bow and Yang would be death for you. So it's it's either Bow and Yang or you. No. You said Bowen Yang
01:09:17
or death. Choose Bow and Yang or my death. Choose Bow and Yang or his death. Yeah. He's super talented. He's the the
01:09:25
right guy for the right time. Is he spitting in that man's mouth in that scene? and he's watch I don't think I'll
01:09:31
watch it. Okay, so don't say that. I don't I didn't mean it in that way. Okay, you know, but you said but but you
01:09:38
seem to but you seem to think you said to me and I'm going to say this now. I'm going to call you out, dude. What? Like
01:09:43
to get you riled up. She said Bowen Yang has a bigger podcast than ours. There are numbers to support that's not true. [ __ ] all. Wait, what? There are numbers to support that that's not true
01:09:56
at all. Is that true? because I feel like maybe it is. No way. What's the name of their show? They just get a lot
01:10:03
of like the Alist celebrity that I know of. No, you know what it really is. What it is is I'll tell you what it's sabotage. It's sabotage. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What
01:10:16
did that just say? Yeah. Oh, when I asked uh AI if Bad Friends was a show for Gen Z. Yes. It's popular show with
01:10:22
Gen Z. The Bad Friends podcast featuring Theo Vaughn and Bobby Lee. Great. I'm sorry. Why do you guys always pick on Bobby, do
01:10:41
you think? We don't pick on it. I just They don't [ __ ] with me at all. They don't say hi. They don't [ __ ] with you
01:10:46
at all. Yeah, I They don't say hi. They don't do nothing. If I'm upstairs, they're not upstairs. Yeah. Yeah. They
01:10:52
just wake up at 400 p.m. Okay, that's my lifestyle. Let me ask you something, right? When's the last time you give me a hug? You don't like hugs? I do love
01:10:59
hugs. He does from you. He says he does. He He only likes hugs from people he trusts. Yeah. Yeah. So, yes, he doesn't
01:11:05
want a hug from There's no high five. There's no, you know what I mean? It's like, hey, good morning. Hi. I said good morning to
01:11:13
And she'll say she'll go say something like the dogs are fed like what, right? No, we are nice to
01:11:20
you. No, no, no, no, no. We more comfortable with you than like than like who? I don't want to see other people in the family. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I see. Like a couple days ago when you
01:11:33
were leaving, I was like, "Oh, be safe." And you didn't even say anything back. You were like, "Oh, thanks." That is
01:11:39
very sweet. Mhm. You don't think that's sweet for her to say be safe? That's how she said it.
01:11:44
How'd you say it? No. Be safe. That's not like what, dude? That's [ __ ] rude. No, but that's nicer cuz then I would be like I'd be devastated if you weren't safe. Oh, that's very sweet. I
01:11:56
honestly believe if I died, you wouldn't cry. I would cry. What do you guys call each
01:12:02
other? What's your nickname for each? You have a nickname? Yeah, I used to call her Belot, which means [ __ ] Oh.
01:12:08
Oh, very good. What a good term. That's nice. That's sweet. Sister love. Yeah. Yeah. Sister love. What' you call her?
01:12:14
Um, I didn't call her this, but people used to call her this because she was like the tallest one. Yeah. Like in our
01:12:20
place she was um she was called Agda which is also called Capri. What's Akda mean? It's also like a is Capri. It's the same as the tree man. Oh really? Mhm. Oh so you're the tree man. You know
01:12:33
what you're you know who you are in the [ __ ] Game of Thrones. What? Um the the uh three-eyed raven. What's this
01:12:39
kid's name? Oh B or no. Um Branson. Bran. Bran. Yeah. You're the three-eyed raven dude. That's cool though. Yeah. Wait, what was the first word? Not capri the bugduck. What is it? Agda. Agda.
01:12:50
What does that mean? Just the same. Just the same thing. Why do they have two names? I don't know. I think Capra is
01:12:58
for um Tagalog and then Agda is for Bisayiah. This whole [ __ ] country is confused. I know. They got different languages with the same They have they have the same mythical creature but
01:13:11
called something else. Well, we have it. What? Bigfoot is also known as Sasquatch. They are one and the same.
01:13:16
Yeah. So there. Yeah, I think you can add call to bit to different thing. I' I've never met se have you ever seen a
01:13:22
real Bigfoot or no? Oh yeah. Okay. Where I was in uh Pocutello. Oh yeah, that story. I remember. Tell it please. You guys know Pocutello? Remember? Okay. Let's say we're in a campfire and we
01:13:34
have marshmallows and and we have tents set up. It's midnight and this old timey, you know what I mean? Man approaches the campfire. Hello there, lady. Exactly. Hello there. Where'd you
01:13:47
come from, sir? Chinese boy. I'm from way out yonder. Where did Yes. Where did you come from? Oh, we're just, you know, my family, me and my daughters were camping here. Where did you guys
01:13:58
Where have you come from? We came just from the big city of Los Angeles, sir. I mean, before that, where are you from
01:14:03
from? Right. Right. We're all from Cleveland. Really? Originally, yes. You don't look like Clevelanders. Yeah.
01:14:10
Well, there's a lot of sun we got. You know what I mean? We're field workers. Well, next time wear sunglasses. Your
01:14:15
eyes won't end up like that already. Get the [ __ ] out of here, man. What? Yeah. You came here to tell a story. Came with guns. So, you going to tell us? Listen here. Tell us a story.
01:14:26
Came here with guns. Are you a part of the KKK? Part of it. I'm the whole damn thing. I'm K. KK is down the [ __ ] street.
01:14:39
Kanye, come here. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Let me tell you something. I saw myself some
01:14:45
Sasquatch one time. You ever seen him? No. No. Big big man. Beautiful man. Yeah. I was walking through Pocutello. Pocutello? Where is that, sir? Idaho.
01:14:56
Oh. Fixing myself to get myself a sasparilla. I wandered around for hours and hours.
01:15:03
Wow. Didn't find anywhere to wet my whistle. Anyway, sir, we're It's bedtime. The girls go to sleep. Oh, you'll want to stay up for this. All right, I guess stay up, sir.
01:15:17
Right. Yeah. So, nowhere would wet my whistle. Wet my whistle. Honey, sweetie, don't
01:15:25
ask that question. Yeah. All right, sir. Come on. They're kids. I wanted to wet my whistle. Okay. An actual whistle. You
01:15:32
know, they they wet the tip so they blow on it. No, I was looking I was looking for a hooker to give me some head.
01:15:39
I couldn't find a girl. Okay, sir, that's enough. The negative we we we have an early morning. We're going to go
01:15:44
fishing. They're going to hear it from me or somewhere else. Okay. Anyway, guys, you know, we love whistles now.
01:15:50
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Tweet tweet. So, here I was strolling around Pocutello. Yeah. Looking for somewhere to wet my
01:15:57
whistle. I didn't find it, sir. Okay. But I sat on the curb. Yeah. And thought to myself, "Well, this thing ain't going to beat itself.
01:16:07
So, I pulled my pants down, sweet, and I started whapping my wiener against my legs. Okay, that's the Sasquatch call,
01:16:15
you know. We can imagine the sound effects are Okay, here. Listen. I'll do it right now. Here, girls. Listen up. Yeah. Yeah. Listen up, girls.
01:16:26
Yeah. And of course, here comes Sasquatch. Yeah. He loves it. He's hungry for What is that? Is that him? Is Is his penis rubbing against his legs? His penis against his legs. I make that
01:16:42
noise. He recalls. Yeah. Some would think he was walking, but he wasn't. Oh, no. That's just his penis. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Clanking against his big old
01:16:49
hairy legs. Yeah. Yeah. And you're still doing yours, sir? Yeah. We're communicating. Yeah. You're communicating that way. Okay. And his
01:16:55
goes, "Yeah." And what does yours sound like, sir? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Is that how you call a Sasquatch? That's how you call him? He came. Anyway, good night. Good night, sir. Good night. Good
01:17:06
night. Sleep tight. Sleep tight, girls. Wow. Wow. By the way, that is a Sasquatch call. You know that. You know they say if you're naked in the woods, he'll appear. If you have
01:17:18
clothes on, he won't be there. Yeah, I've done it before. He doesn't appear. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Never. Yeah. That is what they say. Attract Sasquatch.
01:17:26
Leave gifts. Make noise. This get naked's not on there. Those Yeah. Those fellas at school tricked me. Yeah. Yeah, it's not it's not Can I tell you a uh Can I tell you a street joke?
01:17:37
Can I tell you a Gilbert Godfrey street joke? I love it. And can I do it like Gilbert? Cuz rest in peace, one of the
01:17:43
greatest of all time. You're going to like this, girls. All right. But honestly, ladies, uh girls Mhm. if you
01:17:49
don't laugh if it's not funny. Okay. All right. So, let's go straight face. We'll all go straight face. One of you. Don't
01:17:54
even smile unless it's funny. That's right. It's okay. Ready? Here we go. No, don't. You're smiling now. Don't [ __ ]
01:18:00
stop. You're smiling now. This is a Gilbert Godfree joke. Two Jewish men in a park. The one Jewish
01:18:07
guy said, "I'm so old. I'm so old. I'm so old." The other guy says, "You're not that old." Yes, I am. You don't even
01:18:19
know how old I am. He goes, "I bet you I can tell you how old you are. How?" He says, "Take off your pants." He goes, "I'm not taking off my pants. I'm in the park. Take them off." So he does. Then
01:18:33
he says, "Now take off your underwear." I'm not taking off my underwear. I'm in the park. He says, "Take them off." He
01:18:41
does. Then he says, "Bend over and stick your thumb right in your asshole." I'm not sticking my thumb in my [ __ ] We're at the park. Just do it. And he
01:18:53
does. And the other man says, "You're 95." And he pulls his thumb out of his ass and says, "How did you know that?" and he said, "You told me yesterday."
01:19:03
Thank you for being a bad friend. [Music]