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hey it's a bonus episode this is our first bonus first bonus episode yo andrew yeah
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do you play um games on your phone i do that's i don't i only play games on my phone and what's your favorite game on
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the phone no candy right you know what that's all they need that's all you need is candy crush on
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you i don't know why you go the app should be just the k you know the app store should just be the candy crush app store you open games it just goes a
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candy crush yeah that makes sense hey everybody how about a shout out for this bonus friday episode sponsored by kandy
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griff we don't do bonus we don't episodes and only it's only a special engagements like this we do it this is
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special berries candy crush is making we all know and absolutely love candy crush the candy crush all-stars tournament is
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live now and still in the qualifying round so early andrew all you do is classify as the top player in your
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leaderboard to move forward and keep compete against everyone in america everybody bobby and i are athletes we're
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champions we're both very good bobby's better than me but that's fine we've been playing and if you think you can beat us
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i dare you to try you can hit the link in the description to join in on the action everyone can play and anyone can
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win divine you two are bad friends who are these two idiots [Music] let me just ask my [ __ ] questions can i just ask my [ __ ] questions everyone calm down all right let me just
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ask my question stop looking at me like are we rolling rather let me just ask my questions so
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um how did this come about do you want to talk into the microphone we're not starting this well this is not podcast
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yes we are what how did this come what's your do you want to introduce the team first of all i mean they look like the von
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trapp family this is yeah this is like this is the sound of me yeah yeah yeah go a deer a
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no let me acknowledge [ __ ] esther don't roll me esther thank you so much for coming to the show thank you so much
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for having me i was told to just show up and be quiet correct but bring the mic to your face that's what we do we always
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yell at her about mike to the face okay yeah so you're auditioning to take over rudy spot esther of course is one-third
00:02:29
of the i guess you're not really one-third you're like because you're not a full-size
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you're a fun size so you're like one bro she's not a dwarf or anything like that
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yeah she is oh you are no legally no no legally no but yeah but rumor was but from afar if
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you were hanging out with bradley williams from afar they may [Laughter] do you think esther is one third of the great trash tuesday podcast with kalai lacoon and uh and annie letterman
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thank you for coming i really appreciate it little person is that how you say it she's not she's as tall as you by the
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way don't and i'm not defending my size i'm a little guy a little tiny guy and i
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have a [ __ ] up body and speaking of [ __ ] up bodies we have the candy crush team
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here so the candy crush crew is there they're they're pure they're pure people and you're and that's my little sis do you know that's my sister for real is that really your sister yes why
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what do you mean why but first of all your sister no i know but can you take your mask down so i can look at your face that's nice that is your sister it is you work for candy crush
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she's interested she's interning yeah is she staying at you with you yes where do you think no i'm she's staying at a hotel yeah she's staying at my house oh
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this congratulations thank you and that's what your sister looks like she's very attractive that's enough i didn't i
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wasn't that wasn't hitting on her that sounded like he just called the intern attractive yeah oh yeah problematic is
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that problematic yes i like it esther is our hr what's your sister's name here yes what does she look like olivia huh livia olivia's not that not that bad lydia oh lydia olivia or lydia well you
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tell me you're guessing not me alice okay alice yeah yeah lydia and what's up i want it to be montgomery and
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montgomery i've never met a woman tell them your name it's montgomery montgomery santino that's that's that's the name well we have different last names but yeah yeah all we have
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different all because because let me guess well i hope you know after all these years i do i actually do yeah
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you had the same but she's like prince or whatever they want to change their name do like a symbol so she changed it
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to something else like a symbol of something that's right so what's the symbol this
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show them your symbol that's not the symbol that's it so her name is montgomery no her name is
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yeah her name is lakina but we she goes by lock la quina but she goes by loc let's go back to the
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candy crush yeah sure we did the no i want to ask some questions before we even begin okay
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so you're the president you created candy crush he's one of the developers he developed
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how many developers were there like around 15 oh so it's not 15. that's big it's big that's great yeah you're one of 15. and do you get a piece of the pie
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yeah you get a piece of the candy crush pie so you have some because candy crush is
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killing it a lot of money so you got you're a rich guy now you're doing well yeah right he's killing him you don't
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ever have to work again can't you tell yeah no yeah i know i know no because i can't because the
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shirt is apollo and it doesn't look like a vintage it looks brand new so that's some money
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you mean those slides are something i would wear so you know that's dope shorts i don't know the legs are [ __ ]
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millions those are brand new those legs are [ __ ] those are new legs lieutenant the next evolution of white
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legs what do you think of cherry shirt what do you think she does she is uh pr tell him what you do you're right yeah you are right are you pr she does public relations you do public relations she does i don't even know what that does i
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know you don't thank you but why don't you guess they deal with like social media also um
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creating like contacting like um newspapers and ad agencies and this and that to promote their let's go to esther
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to figure it out yeah well it's interesting that your first go-to for marketing is newspapers
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i said social media first no you did say newspapers but yeah marketing social media yeah
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okay why is newspaper such a bad guess i think it would be a bad place to advertise candy crush there's feel
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there's someone threw a lot of newspapers if i'm at the la weekly and the last thing was like a bunch of like candies being crushed again last time
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you read in la weekly 15 years ago yeah the [ __ ] are you talking about okay uh
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well they would but did they contact like [ __ ] they love like ellen yes they'll contact she could contact alan you can cut have you contacted
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ellen yeah yeah but you have in your life there we go bingo there you go let's can
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we go around yeah please stand up please no that don't don't boss her around physically that's why i can't [ __ ]
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see her she's right there she's just i can't [ __ ] see seven feet away from us yeah yeah
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take your mess down please no no no all right so you can't tell people what the [ __ ] so thank you for standing and i got a
00:07:32
whole thing um you work us also a part of the group you're a part of the group what do you think she does is there offices there what
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is there a physical office they work from a van i bought a candy crush van yeah yeah
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yes there are offices but all these people work in different locations even more interesting oh wow yeah you're
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europe esther what do you think are you europe what do you think she does for the company i can't like imagine other positions there besides marketing uh
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what is there like office supply organization no no no no that's rude that's so funny
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no i wasn't even looking at you you do pencils you do pens you do paper you do staples no
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you do you're like a associate producer where you who an ap like an ap where you're you deal with money
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you know i mean she she she isn't she's in front the finance department am i right so you're
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pretty close okay that's really good you're like so far you're like three for three and then the last girl on the on
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the floor also sorry go ahead sorry or or they don't even work for candy crush and these this is your this is your
00:08:43
sister's friends ah and they're in town and they're just here oh it gets spicy yeah so that could be also is that another option that's an option yeah yeah what do you think well what do you think this last
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um if she worked at frankfurt candy crush looking at her eyes you're not gonna believe it when i tell you okay i'm gonna say janitorial
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i'm kidding um no she is the poop cleaner no no your social media yeah yeah you kind of disagree with social media on the game they like have animated people
00:09:24
she's one of the main models that they animated them off of really yeah she's the one wow
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she was the first one these two went to school together which ones this gentleman who the developer because i want to see everyone's name just from so
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i can memorize it go ahead let's see if you can try montgomery we do got that montgomery
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symbol you matthew vera the queen beckham the queen for me beckham victoria vector battory victim
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victoria beckham is that david beckham's wife spice up your life i love it yeah she's one of my
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favorites and the last and the last human yes sophie sophie's choice sophie's choice yeah yeah so at the end of the podcast
00:10:20
we're gonna go back and see if you remember their names i know it now all right so let's talk about the rules of what we talk about so obviously we all
00:10:26
know how candy crush has played you played you played candy crush before yeah yeah yeah all right can i tell you can i tell you what's really going on yeah tell me because i know you want to know i do so that that girl right there is
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not my sister okay none of these people work for candy crush whatsoever okay yeah these are andreas students
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for what the film school kid or the the the the whatever serious yeah i believe that
00:10:54
yeah that was the point of it yeah what school do you guys go to quinnipi corner quinapac quinnipiac
00:11:00
where's quinnipick at quinapack is where connecticut what are you doing here they're just having a good time you're having a good you're some sort of intern yeah they're
00:11:12
interns for for andreas no we all have different internships is uh he runs the program what andres is a teacher how is he a teacher he's not even an american he
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can't even speak english he's insane they hired a non-english speaking guide did he even go to college no
00:11:33
why him i don't know yeah yeah i think we think spanish people are are astute and and is it the [ __ ] fancy the
00:11:39
fancy accent yeah do you like him yeah no you like andreas yeah yeah okay did he tell you did you guys know that we call him fancy bee yeah yeah some of you
00:11:53
do you know why we call him fancy b why do you guys not know i guess you'll never know so fancy what would the b stand for
00:12:04
or mexican i'm going to give you a hint no because i already know what it is this is a game so what do you think it might be
00:12:16
yeah yeah fancy me beats me fancy beats me what are you trying to say what are you saying
00:12:22
close your hand if you need help nestor how have you been good how about you [Music] what's wrong with you that's a little this isn't are you high right now she's uncomfortable
00:12:32
she doesn't know this is weird for her she's not used to this you know what her highness now right i know about your smoking a lot of weed lately i take
00:12:38
edibles i started yeah for the first time what do you guys whispering about what
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oh but what i'm dressed wrong i smell weird no i'm ugly do you want me to put them in the other room no i know i like them
00:12:50
here okay because we've never had an audition audience before yeah all right what the [ __ ] is your problem
00:12:56
which one are you talking to all of them no no who specifically you're talking over there
00:13:01
i knew you wouldn't remember i will i will um victoria that's the one in the corner that's exactly what i'm talking about oh that's who you're talking about
00:13:12
yeah esther what's up with the what's up with the weed intake i've been sober like for 33 years and
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then this summer i had to take like a really strong pain pill and i was like oh i like how that felt
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and so then literally how like addiction starts yeah it was an opiate yeah which one it was
00:13:34
hydrocodone oh so good it's so good so you took hydrocodone and i was like oh i want more of that and then some of my friends
00:13:40
were like we don't think you should like get into pills yeah i think what you're looking for is pot and then i tried
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smoking like a like a thing but it was making me cough so i'm like oh gummies so now weed gummies i'll do like five or ten milligrams at night and perfect i cannot believe how amazing it
00:13:58
is i can't believe i've gone so long you came to my party hi yeah you were high yeah yeah
00:14:03
yeah i could tell that bad like i don't know what are they like what was i doing to you when i was when i would walk by you came into my ear and you're like
00:14:11
that's what he does right and you would laugh you said it in my ear what what what did you say i might or when you walked by yours i said i can't say it i'm saying what i said i
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love you [Music] because i love them do you take edibles you know no but his eyebrows do look at those [ __ ] eyebrows no it's a i take i i i don't like
00:14:36
edibles i i like smoking weed i like smoking a joint once in a while i just can't believe like how sorry i
00:14:42
know bobby sober is this like inappropriate i'm just jonesing i'm sorry never mind i like watching
00:14:48
jeopardy too that's also fun while you're watching hi both yeah do you guys smoke weed well
00:14:53
here's the deal you're in the state of california it's legal here you know that right there's nothing like mysterious and weird about it you guys are 18.
00:14:58
they're all above they're all of age right they're all adults so you can go to a store you can legally do it in fact when we were talking to you guys across
00:15:04
the street from the improv when i said hi to you guys oh they are because i remember i saw a photo that's right yeah yeah so they're
00:15:11
i don't know what they're doing here then andres brought them i know i just do you don't like their
00:15:17
presents i love them a lot we're really good yeah you are you guys all from connecticut
00:15:22
where are you guys all from just say it real quick go montgomery city can't you tell yeah i can tell she had
00:15:28
that new york times new york city she had that new york accent boston i'm also new york new york boston boston maine
00:15:39
yeah quinnipiac you ever heard of this school yeah john campbell nelly went there did he really
00:15:44
yeah what's it known for it's liberal arts right what is it known for liberal [Music]
00:15:51
are you guys sure you're going to school there they have no [ __ ] idea i think i asked them that other night i said what is it and they're like yeah yes college
00:15:59
this is price so this is what this is it's a pro small private school this is where mom and dad were like
00:16:04
where do you want to go and they're like we're not smart enough to get into harvard right and
00:16:10
look at that they're yeah that's their bragging right we're close to yale but they can't get into [ __ ] yale they can't even go to like the games how much
00:16:16
does it cost a year 60 grand you went to where university you went to u of i didn't you look at you you stayed in illinois like a good girl my parents made me then i quit where'd you go
00:16:30
oh yeah sure it's kind of funny i'm wearing this shirt i didn't mean to wear this shirt but i did yeah i went to arizona state i wanted to get the [ __ ] out of
00:16:35
illinois i was i was not going to stay everybody i know went to illinois iowa nebraska
00:16:40
miami of ohio uh yeah yeah and then some of my smart friends went to like uh michigan
00:16:47
yes i did not get in there no chance yeah i don't want to talk about this you didn't get in anywhere did you bud no i don't want to
00:16:52
how many schools did you apply to when you're in high school i i i i i applied to one i didn't get in what was it called devry
00:17:00
didn't get it rejected so yeah i couldn't get it yeah did you really apply to anywhere i
00:17:07
i went to palomar the it's a community college right yeah that's a good that's a good cc
00:17:15
what is palomar cc ranked community colleges i think it ranked look at that look at the symbol is nice palomar college that's it shout out to palomar
00:17:21
college yeah i i went to four weeks of it and then i ended up going there they had
00:17:26
these little piano rooms so these little tiny rooms right instead of going to class right i would just go
00:17:33
and they have little mini rooms where you can close the door it's perfect for little asian boys to sneak into little piano rooms like little magnets for you
00:17:40
guys i know just place them around schools yeah how are we going to trap the asians on this campus right right put little
00:17:46
piano rooms all over the place because one of the rooms as a piano the other one had like numchucks
00:17:52
you know i mean i'll go in there and do two hours of just practicing of that right one just has a walk teach yourself
00:17:58
how to walk hey we talked and you guys were doing all different things only one of you you are in the film business not really no you are yes
00:18:11
you are too i thought i'm doing production yeah well you're in film that's phil and then you are she's in production yeah you're in production and
00:18:18
you are too yeah and what are you doing so i'm a double major and i'm minoring in film let's dump [ __ ] brag to us
00:18:24
okay yeah yeah we're blue collar dropouts we don't need you [ __ ] boasting what are you going to do in film where you want to be i want to be a
00:18:30
screenwriter and actress yeah okay oh awesome get her out of here immediately hey hey all right everyone i'm this episode of bad friends is sponsored by my like favorite
00:18:44
game one of my favorite games of all time yeah which is candy crush and this is sponsored by candy crush all-star the
00:18:50
all-stars bobby and i have been killing it we uh we've been playing off-camera off show but now we got to do the show
00:18:56
so we can't crush as much as we want to and uh i think i might be doing better than bobby but you're not good no you
00:19:02
don't think so i'm better that you when it comes to stuff like that okay fine i don't want to argue about it but here's the deal we got to do the
00:19:08
episode so we had to employ some of our employees yeah to play for us um fans you want to play for me of course okay fancy b is going to play for me yeah and uh good old puddin pete is going to play
00:19:21
for you how do you think about that is that okay yeah i got you i'm gonna make that i'm gonna make the arrangements
00:19:26
they're gonna go head-to-head crushing each other and whoever crushes the most levels uh is gonna win at the end of the
00:19:31
episode and whoever loses has to uh make out with george that's right i like that yes george yes like if
00:19:38
he can't catch up to me he's going to get half the kiss george open mouth the clothes i think tongue i
00:19:44
want tongue no yeah yeah french french french french all right so that's the deal that's what they got to do uh p
00:19:50
can't catch up that's what happens check them out while they're uh while we're doing the episode you can watch them go head-to-head you guys need to get in on
00:19:55
this it's free to play it's so much fun bob tell them okay hit the link and try to beat us and
00:20:01
if you haven't joined yet you you're missing out now guys everyone that we know i think is playing candy crush
00:20:07
all-stars tournament even our friend whitney cummings whitson yeah uh also you know who else is in huh chloe kaizen fancy you know what else is in your good
00:20:18
buddy the gronk my brother get in on the action you guys it's your chance to win a year's supply of gold
00:20:25
bars and if you haven't yet hit that link and play in the candy crush all-stars tournament now
00:20:30
[Music] sugar crush did you always want to be an actor i don't really know what i wanted i i think i just want to do you know what
00:20:41
you want right now no i just want to be quiet it was good to get her for rudy i worked
00:20:46
with her once on what i reacted once on what your [ __ ] show oh yeah and alone together and we also work together on love oh yeah i was on her show too yeah you
00:20:59
guys were both on it yeah you don't remember that was that was that that bad no of cour i remember but i was thinking
00:21:04
of love you were crazy what you seem stressed out i was very stressed out i always forget how tiny you are yeah
00:21:11
look at your put your hands up look at how small your little hand is look at those things it's like they're not even hands or paws
00:21:18
they're little tiny paws you are so [ __ ] small does dave's penis look big in those
00:21:24
hands oh my god come on hey of course it does because right he's not that little he's not a little guy is that that seems racist
00:21:37
yeah yeah he's a brilliant little dewy man he is jewish and he probably has like a cute pudgy kind of matsoi
00:21:46
a matsui penis pee pee right but in her little hands they look gigantic massive yeah yeah his penis is actually ex the exact same shape as a dreidel genuinely have you seen kalala's
00:22:06
um you're no question are you mad well it's just she doesn't want to talk about dave's worst fear is that like i'm
00:22:12
talking about like that people are talking about his penis because every time he sees like women together he's
00:22:18
just his first thought is that they're talking about his penis i'm sorry we could edit that edit out no it's no i
00:22:23
think he's got he's got to grow though yeah i think about his penis yeah he that's that's a paranoia that he needs
00:22:29
to get over why i agree because it's like i didn't say anything bad about his penis but this is not your issue it's his
00:22:36
that's true yeah yeah he thinks all women but to be fair and this is not being sexist nine times out of ten when
00:22:42
i'm going to get coffee or lunch or whatever in public if i'm crossing this morning literally this morning if i'm crossing the path of two women in a
00:22:48
conversation it's about a dude it was yeah yeah yeah almost always always or something about a relationship
00:22:54
thing or yeah two girls together two girls together what are you talking about usually relationship stuff stuff when you guys what do you talk about
00:23:06
when it's just you and another girl a coffee go ahead hey ass what's been going on i like makeup
00:23:12
uh oh i don't know well i'm also like in a nine year relationship so i'm not there's nothing to talk about yeah but they talk to you about their [ __ ] unless you're with another married girl or
00:23:23
whatever and then you're talking about the annoyances of the marriage you know what dave did yesterday that [ __ ] pissed me off what that's what you would say no [Laughter]
00:23:35
do you never complain to girlfriends about dave uh not really dave is pretty a pretty good partner like i always say that if
00:23:41
he killed me like i think it would be justified when you guys look at andrew and i and be honest and i i i you know
00:23:47
i'm mister you know what i mean i like i like criticism because you guys are so young do you
00:23:52
guys look at us as old men mm-hmm but she nodded her [ __ ] head the first she went like that ready which one ask me and i'm going to be her yeah in the middle i'm going to be victorious and i um do you look at us like old men
00:24:06
uh that's literally what she does yeah she nodded her head yeah um yes like like
00:24:11
you guys look at us like older but your parents like you like like we're your parents like we've hung
00:24:17
out at your parents house how old are your parents 64. whoa really that's older than i thought yeah yeah
00:24:24
how old is your parents 50 and like so i'm 50. can i guess your age he's 50. he just turned 50. i just turned 50.
00:24:36
no way yeah yeah so i'm you guys look at me like i'm a parental figure no no see ironically they probably think i'm more of a parental figure than you and i'm 12 years younger than you yeah yeah who's more parental me or anger
00:24:51
don't be afraid to say me that your little friend that could save you from almost nothing yeah yeah who's more i'm for sure more parental
00:25:02
who would you trust to take you on a road trip safely why that's offensive that hurts me he yells at the gps but he's like following the gps
00:25:15
[Laughter] no no i'll be the one that already don't i don't need a gps because i [ __ ] know where we're going oh you know how to get there no you know how to get to
00:25:31
santa rosa but i would pretend though i got this i got it we're on a dirt road there's no street lights you end up in
00:25:36
mexico getting robbed yeah yeah what do you think probably here yeah for sure there's no
00:25:43
doubt that's more parental and responsible yeah this is like not even a thing it's not even it's obvious
00:25:48
it hurts me though because it's like i'm responsible you play video games till four in the morning no i don't sure you
00:25:54
do okay three no i mean i would have what does that have what does that have to do with being a parental yeah yeah yeah
00:25:59
that you're right now that i think about it listen i just like andrew i own a home
00:26:04
right mm-hmm i pay my mortgage yeah yeah the same thing yeah what owning your just shut the [ __ ] up hey hey don't you do that to her i'm sorry i love you but shut the [ __ ] up hey hey
00:26:18
okay i [ __ ] uh pay my taxes you don't yes i do no you don't your business manager does it doesn't matter
00:26:24
i hired a businessman to [ __ ] pay my taxes i know but you don't physically do things i physically call the guy goes
00:26:30
can you do my taxes yeah he says yes you don't clean your house i know i hire i could clean it but i hire somebody to clean it i know because you're a fancy guy yeah but that has nothing to do with
00:26:40
responsibility kinda no i would disagree i wash and i bathe that's is that correct you want credit for that i want credit for that i want credit for eating meals two meals a day okay i guess we're
00:26:53
getting closer to responsibility in terms of like on the general hour like military mm-hmm yeah one to two i
00:27:00
have my lunch seven to eight i eat my dinner yeah so that's responsible right you sleep until
00:27:06
so you all think that i'm less responsive that you're responsible than him no they would just trust me to do the parental thing that's all
00:27:14
i believe yeah you'd be a cooler dad he's so much more fun that's good yeah yeah yeah like he would discipline you that's right he's a free-for-all
00:27:27
yeah in fact you know what i would do if you guys are let's say you're my kids all five of you one two three all five
00:27:32
of you this is what i do i go i would go hey guys wink right don't ever go into my wallet wink
00:27:40
and take out thousands of dollars you know what i mean i'll just leave it down in the kitchen table i go upstairs and go to take a nap
00:27:47
right also i'll say i never count my money wink right and that's cool right number two it's
00:27:53
like you guys are smoking weed in the house oh no in high school i go hey guys stop doing that it upsets me
00:28:02
you guys can watch anything on the flatscreen tv no not from not in my house none of you guys no way yeah you
00:28:08
let them steal all that money yeah and also on this it's like no curfew at all come home whenever you want yeah
00:28:15
and you if i was your father you would all get cars wow yeah so and not like not like we wouldn't go to like a used car right you're buying them all brand new cars whatever teslas
00:28:26
teslas [ __ ] tesla's dude all you guys are getting teslas right what would you buy us
00:28:32
well first of all you're all five sharing of sharing a car and there's gonna be a schedule on the refrigerator and you're gonna have to mark down when you need the car and if the car isn't
00:28:38
returned you're banned from the car for the next ensuing few days you know that you know that
00:28:43
don't you yeah yeah all right see that's who if i see 20 missing out of my money jar yeah you're all grounded yeah and
00:28:49
then nobody gets the car and what is the car what is the car your car no what is the car that they have to share
00:28:56
like what it look probably looks like well i'm gonna get a fan daddy gets a fancy car because daddy worked hard yeah yeah yeah the kids are gonna have to share a junk piece of [ __ ]
00:29:03
it looks like that mystery mobile from uh scooby-doo it's a van it's a gutted it's a gutted out van yeah you're a big
00:29:09
uh you're driving a big van a passive that's what it is that's what it is you're driving the scooby-doo the scooby-doo van
00:29:15
the mystery machine yeah yeah you're driving the mystery machine and there is no mystery that thing's got to be backed by seven [ __ ] pm pal all of you have
00:29:21
a curfew and you know what your curfew is stagger depending on your grades that's right and you know you get a
00:29:26
little bit more past because you're my you're my favorite because of the red what's that did you have a curfew no i had no rules growing up no religion
00:29:33
no rules that's a lie and then no it's not and then i would but that made me a good kid because there was no restriction so that i didn't want to
00:29:39
rebel against anything are you half jewish yes mom dad so you're fake yeah right yeah you
00:29:46
know that right were you the funniest person in high school i mean how did when did comedy become a thing
00:29:52
um i i just always liked it i don't know but in high school you in place and stuff i was very silly i you
00:29:59
know what i took dance class all like like every night after school and i thought i wanted to be a dancer and then
00:30:06
i realized that the thing i liked about dan's class that i was like embarrassing myself and being silly and making like
00:30:11
the other girls laugh hmm when did comedy kick in i'm still waiting no don't do that that's a bad joke and you know you're very funny when did it kick in what does
00:30:21
that mean though kick in when did you go [ __ ] i need to do this for this has to be my life uh in college when i decided
00:30:28
to drop out i was like i'm gonna like pursue stand-up and any kind of comedy it's so cool to drop out of college yeah
00:30:35
did you oh did you drop out oh no still in it no they're in it but i'm kind of trying to oh yeah yeah because i think it's not cool what'd you say fancy not cool no it is very cool
00:30:47
by the way what is co fancy went to college you know that right and you know what he's doing he's working for us
00:30:53
he works for idiots okay so who do you really want he works for us this i went to arizona so i went to the dumbest
00:31:00
college you can go to bro i don't know how to pronounce words he's an idiot i'm a [ __ ] idiot and your
00:31:05
teacher works for us yeah yeah so who won i don't know anything you know you know i don't know how to do so i don't know how to tell the time with the hands the hand well they're facing the same
00:31:16
way is bad for exactly right now i don't know i literally don't know how i've never learned how to tell
00:31:23
on a face clock i don't know what to do it does not know how to do it i don't know how to do it and people have taught me well bobby it's easy i don't want to
00:31:28
know why i have digital well because he yeah he doesn't want to know yeah can you write in cursive
00:31:35
no okay no please don't tell i don't know it's for fun that one-on-one i'm not here though because i wanted to learn it what
00:31:40
time is that right there 2 30. what is that 2 30. you think that's 2 30. yeah so the little the little hand is i don't want to know about it you
00:31:52
don't want to hear it's guessing based on what i see okay 230 is right yeah is it right yeah okay
00:31:58
yeah that you're right but then i don't know like um also when what side the sun sets
00:32:04
the sun rises in the i don't want to know okay don't ever tell me i guess that i always go oh oh or when it goes down you know what i
00:32:10
mean have you ever seen the sun and the moon up at the same time it's never happened that's it's impossible it's interesting a sun in the
00:32:17
moon aligned at the same that's impossible and this both are on the opposite sides because because obviously
00:32:23
there's night and day so the sun is up the moon can't be up at the same time no they both exist it's not like one one
00:32:28
goes but you're shutting down can you see both at the same time in the middle of the day can you see the sun and the moon yeah if from these ends okay if they're
00:32:35
like this yeah yeah yeah right so then you can see sun and moon yeah otherwise you can't have the sun in the sky and the moon in the sky as well they got to
00:32:41
be like this yeah if you're at the comedy store out standing outside do you know like which
00:32:47
way is north south east west yeah because i drive because i know that i know that the car
00:32:53
has the [ __ ] no no no no no no dude i just know that like sunset goes west because i can get to santa monica that way so that's obviously west so i do it by the road
00:33:05
i'm not dumb we're like i i'm uh you know you are dumb i am dumb but i just don't know
00:33:10
certain specific little things like how to tell how to tell time and stuff yeah yeah
00:33:16
but i know what south north and where where i am like if i'm walking around you have good internal comp your
00:33:21
encompass internal compass is good yeah that's okay that's all you need you know i have a job for her listen who
00:33:28
what's her name montgomery yeah my manager was like well andrew and bobby uh want to do a
00:33:34
film like oh we were really interested maybe right because my people are trying to push a movie
00:33:41
with us yeah she could play your sister that's right we don't know if she can [ __ ] act you you'd have to read
00:33:48
what i can offer do we have a scene down there yeah throw up a scene here we have a scene you want to act
00:33:54
all right let's do it wow she i like that she's trying to get into the business yeah i want esther to read um action
00:34:00
lines because she's really really good at that well i don't want to be tommy i think you're better with tommy
00:34:05
first of all it's you and her i'll do the scene again i'll do the scene again after and then we can just
00:34:12
because you know you're gonna be better because i can't do the accent of tommy or because i'm a better
00:34:20
no is it because i'm a better actor okay uh okay so here we go esther okay tommy has just told a story that's cracked up the entire company of gangsters at a table
00:34:35
you know what you're really funny really what do you mean not funny you know you're funny you know the story it's funny you're a funny guy what do you mean
00:34:48
the way i talk what it's just you know it's fun it's just funny you know the way you tell stories bunny how i mean what's funny about it
00:35:05
he's a big boy he knows what he said what'd you say funny how what there's a lo can you do it now no no no oh god i'm sweating maybe i'm not a good actor you're a
00:35:16
great actor why do i have all the lines she picked the ones with other eyes i gotta
00:35:22
all right sorry finish this scene sorry just no you're funny you know you mean let me understand this because i maybe it's me maybe i'll [ __ ] up [ __ ] up maybe i'm funny how i mean
00:35:34
like i can't do this you're doing great [ __ ] you guys like i'm a clown i am use you i make you
00:35:41
laugh i'm gonna [ __ ] what do you mean funny how funny how how am i funny i just you know the story you know how you tell it no no i don't know you said it how do i
00:35:55
know you said i'm funny how the [ __ ] am i funny what the [ __ ] is so funny about
00:36:00
me tell me tell me what's funny there's a long suspenseful pause one and a two three and four and five get the [ __ ] out of here
00:36:13
[ __ ] i almost had you i was adam you stuttering pick your frankie what was he shaking i wonder what you
00:36:19
sometimes said my yeah you got the gig you're way better you got the gig you got the gig you got the gig all right you're in the movie
00:36:36
sorry it was really really good to close it x out that scene do you guys know do you guys know what movie that's from that's sad
00:36:47
um you guys know what movie that is wow that really breaks me i think i know what is it no hold on you're in you're in film you're a film student aren't you i'm trying to i'm trying to place it right now funny how
00:37:01
you think i'm funny funny it's a classic scene yeah it's one of the best movies ever made it
00:37:07
has to do with the mafia that's right oh my gosh what is it what is it godfather no it's not really it's not godfather yeah like 30 years after that yeah wait
00:37:20
not scarface no say i looked on my little friend that's scarface yeah that's right have you seen scarface have you seen godfather yeah what movie is it esther
00:37:33
i think i have two guesses i think it's good fellas that's right that's the one that's my second guess
00:37:38
okay it's casino yeah everybody closed it would be close if you said casino you guys haven't seen good fellas no
00:37:45
okay they're all 19 or 20. i know but the thing is i don't know i don't get that but well but i think that because
00:37:51
it's like can i make my point yeah yeah i see i sound arrogant sometimes right yeah but i was born in 1971 um but um back when we only had crank
00:38:04
windows in the car you had to start an airplane by a rutter in the front yeah but um did i see apple pay wasn't then
00:38:17
you couldn't swipe a phone you just get a product it was much different back then kids you were born in 1971 yeah but i still saw movies before my time of course yeah
00:38:30
you know who the rolling stones are yeah yeah i mean there were even you know in the 50s you would watch certain movies
00:38:35
that were like funny face or whatever it might be you know what i mean hey this episode of bad friends is sponsored by candy crush all stars we made a bet to see who could crush the most levels
00:38:46
by the end of this podcast and we have andreas representing team andrew andres with andres and chubby chubby pete is
00:38:53
representing hey hey be nice in the candy crush all stars powerful pete is representing bobby the loser has
00:39:00
to forfeit from the tournament and get to a kiss from jordan mouth kiss george with tongues yes how are you boys doing i think it is losing pretty hard no i'm doing i'm doing great i'm doing great
00:39:12
i'm just gonna have what are you at pete uh i'm 60. i'm catching up i'm i'm making grounds here i'm going to get your chapstick ready yeah what do you think george's breath tastes like pete because you're going to
00:39:30
taste it in about 15 minutes um maybe a little like like nicotine taste uh maybe some is george smoking you guys are listening right now you got to get in it's free to play and so much
00:39:41
fun hit the link and try to beat us good luck if you haven't joined yet you are missing out yes everyone is playing
00:39:47
candy crush all-stars tournament even our friend whitney cummings who has absolutely no chance of beating none
00:39:52
whatsoever she's busy breeding dogs i'm playing cloy k is playing gronka's in it's so much fun the competition's good
00:39:59
you can get in on the action now and uh like we said it's your chance to win a year supply of gold bars baby
00:40:06
a year supply gold bars that's amazing if you haven't yet you can hit the link and play the candy crush all-stars
00:40:11
tournament right now and we'll be checking in soon to make sure uh that pete's getting his lips nice and moist
00:40:17
and plump for george and that tongue what about a kiss on the cheek can we just no no no no the deal
00:40:23
is you make out with them end of discussion i'm liking this more and more what is like a old classic movie that
00:40:30
you like what's a classic movie to you casablanca is way before god good fellas and you you saw casablanca yeah i've seen good fellas i just like couldn't she just didn't remember it do you guys know who michael jackson is that's crazy
00:40:43
everyone [ __ ] knows who michael jackson is not true there are there is nobody on earth that doesn't know who michael jackson is people who are 18 and
00:40:49
younger kind of don't know who he is hmm i've heard these people are all that is let's do let's do a little fun game show
00:40:57
okay i'm going to throw out people that i think that you should know that are like michael jackson level
00:41:02
and raise your hand if you've heard of them give him that person but they all don't have to have michael jackson type crimes do they
00:41:08
yeah they're all in this you know they've all beaten the baby okay yeah yeah no um o.j simpson
00:41:17
all right you know who that is maybe maybe you're right maybe let's go a level below yeah but do you know that
00:41:22
he he's a football star okay i didn't know he is i just no i thought he was awesome at killing yeah that guy didn't know that best murder
00:41:33
you didn't know you didn't know raise your hand if you know who christopher reeves is oh
00:41:39
okay one of you know who christopher reeves yeah who is he who is he do you know yeah he wasn't what was the iconic role that he did oh my god i know
00:41:53
this is okay we're not making fun of making fun of you it's just serious the most famous super hero of all time
00:42:05
is oh my god she's not yeah yeah yeah yeah so he was the original superman and why did he not continue to play superman
00:42:18
what happened to christopher reeves no what happened what do you love he loves horses he loves the horsey he does a lot of
00:42:25
commercials now yeah he he's not alive they might gi him into commercials yeah so christopher ruiz is the original superman and then
00:42:37
unfortunately he was horseback riding he got bucked off the horse and he became paralyzed from the neck down that's right yeah superman superman question mark
00:42:49
i don't know sonny bono sonny bono you guys don't know who sonny bono is yeah he fought a tree once oh my god oh my god
00:43:02
well i mean the tree won the tree won yeah one zero one on the tree sonny bono was cher's husband they had this sonny and cher so i got you babe
00:43:15
and then he was in a skiing accident where where he died how he hit a tree yeah one zero one zero the tree one yeah yeah
00:43:27
you've seen titanic yeah yeah okay okay you've seen titanic you have not seen titanic sir what do you mean
00:43:38
does it hold no interest to you it's old it is old yeah do you know who's in it and who cares about the girl
00:43:51
who gives a [ __ ] who she is yeah once leo leo's everything i understand leo is everything
00:43:57
could he have fit on the door yeah he could have isn't that the age-old question could he
00:44:03
have fit on that door why didn't she move the [ __ ] over miss you i could stay he should have said i could stay what do you mean the floating door in the ocean yeah she wasn't that big it was a door
00:44:16
it was a do i think it was a door it wasn't it was just a piece of wood and debris no i think it was a door let's see floating door with jack and that's a
00:44:22
door that's not a door dude it's a piece of debris look at it look at how big it is scoot the [ __ ] over kate
00:44:28
scoot the [ __ ] there's james cameron could have got on there too i don't know all three of them could have been on that [ __ ] thing yeah
00:44:37
i'll miss you rose and look at how comfortable she looks yeah oh good look at the bottom of the scene
00:44:42
i used to do a joke like this about this yeah i did a joke really what was it that i'm like a coward right so if i was
00:44:49
in that situation right i would have been like if i was him i would have been like hey
00:44:54
rose it's much warmer in the water and then she plops it and i would jump up a sucker and i start paddling away smart shark and you don't mean that i could easily
00:45:07
see when they're like women and children first and then you covering up your hair and scamping you're like i'm a lady
00:45:13
yeah help me i think i would i think i'm a survivor in that way yeah coward that's not a coward mm-hmm that's not
00:45:19
cowardly no because i would no let me defend myself men and women yeah are equal
00:45:27
yes so they say in my eyes they are yeah except for this no i don't know in every scenario so if you're singing on a boat it's not women and children it's everybody who i think
00:45:38
it should be everyone yeah don't you think if we're all equal what do you think i sort of agree because then you
00:45:44
think about your splitting up family like i would not be able to get on a lifeboat and leave like my dad or dave
00:45:50
yeah i don't think i could i think it should be just men the women and children got to stay on
00:45:55
the boat do you think if you guys were on the titanic like what person would you be
00:46:00
would you be like the guys playing the music so condescending him and i are in the bowels of the boat
00:46:06
i'm shoveling coal he's in the kitchen you know what's really going on yeah yeah we're dead he's he's in the walk
00:46:12
he's like hurry up hurry up and i'm shoveling coal with all the other irish scumbags in the bottom of the boat yeah
00:46:17
you're up top soirang with the fancies we're dead immediately me and wang over here are dead within
00:46:24
seconds why do i have to be weighing because that's what they used to call you about no sullivan no i'm sullivan i look i'm the irish
00:46:32
no they'd call me a mick piece of [ __ ] they'd be like get down there wong yeah and you'd be in the kitchen and i'd be shoveling coal and we would come out
00:46:38
call me by my first name frank all right i i would have changed my name i'm frank frank wang frank wong i'm frank wong just call me by my first name all right
00:46:49
right right your friend your friend wong you're frank wong yeah yeah and what's an asian first name that's my first name i'm i'm toshi o'sullivan
00:47:01
frank wong and toshiba we're best friends we were best friends friends right because nobody wanted the movie this is the movie titan this
00:47:07
is the movie the story [Laughter] smoking as the boat is going down it's a good premise like a comedy about two other people's experience of the titanic
00:47:20
titanic i think we should seriously that's so funny to me yeah yeah it'd be great if we did like a bunch of
00:47:26
shorts like if we did that short and then we did we did our perspective the of the of a great movie from another
00:47:32
viewpoint right yeah kind of how um buster's ballot of buster scruggs where they did like six shorts it was
00:47:38
[ __ ] brilliant what if we did that well we did a bunch of the other scene the other version like jurassic park
00:47:44
sorry what hap are you all right where's my beverage oh no coming up i like my beverage this is what happens around here so you and i um i like the idea yeah but
00:47:57
i want to do more movies yeah right so you ever see the highlander yeah right so you and i are just the two only immortals on earth and we just throughout history
00:48:10
wang right frank wang right toshi and toshi sullivan are always in these tragedy like historical tragedies that's so good right so you
00:48:20
want there'll be we will be in germany right [Music] and auschwitz no no no no no make it
00:48:27
funny which one the hindenburg crash oh no okay that all right you're right it's
00:48:40
[Applause] because we're immortal we can't die oh that's right okay right throughout sort of throughout history you and i are best
00:48:51
friends throughout and we always end up just in the center of this historical tragedy oh how about this though
00:48:58
why don't we do this right now we do an episode where i go you know you know toshi i always add that by
00:49:05
accident so she you know why don't you visit my home i don't want to uh i've got an irish i don't want to go there yeah yeah i don't want to be over there i'll tell
00:49:16
you wait this is all the time this is 1945 yeah i'm from hiroshima all right all right this summer listen frank this summer we'll go we'll go to hiroshima you love it this
00:49:29
summer i'll go to hiroshima alright so now you and i were taking a vacation you were on a vacation right yeah we have
00:49:35
our like hawaiian for some reason we have like hawaiian like gotta tell you frank trunks this place is beautiful i
00:49:41
told you what's that and we both look up right here we go [Laughter] yeah yeah so so awful this is really good though it's a series of comedy tragedies would be a great way to go
00:49:57
back in time do you guys live together here this is a program where every like all
00:50:02
these they're staying together you guys knew each other from the east coast then from school is that fun like a big
00:50:07
sleepover every night oh it seems like so much fun god it's it's like you're it's almost like you're going back to your first year in college when you didn't right because it's like mom and dad don't know i can stay up as
00:50:19
late as i want but you've already had that experience but now you're doing it again does it feel like you're getting away with something again
00:50:25
because you're in a different place yeah yeah [ __ ] we're old do you guys fight no no they fist fight they have ufc
00:50:32
nights do you really but you fight because you're besties what do you guys fight about yes
00:50:43
you're so loud he's so loud yeah so you guys love each other you just hate your brother-sister type of [ __ ]
00:50:51
but what's the fight's usually about you stole my gun you stole my food type of stuff right i figured it was stolen so you do look like a [ __ ] thief
00:51:03
he feels like he takes you know what i mean and he just because he's cute and sweet he gets away with it most people go oh man he's just what are you going
00:51:10
to do it's matt do you guys have your own private rooms or is there like a wall i live in my own bedroom oh yeah you
00:51:16
would you would you would you brat he is a little diva and you guys share a room but two
00:51:23
different beds okay cool you share a room and you share a room yeah but old princess over here gets
00:51:29
yeah you would you would get your own little room brat that's exactly how it'd be if this whole
00:51:34
office had to have something like that i would have to share a room with those scumbags downstairs and this brat would
00:51:40
get her own room 100 am i right yeah yeah you know you have more credit no no it's not no it has nothing to do with
00:51:46
credit seniority yeah you're older for sure that's what i'm older that's what it is i'm like 15
00:51:51
years older than you 12 that's right 13. yeah 12. i'll tell you can i just say something about myself because i know what my body looks like let me just say one more the last thing i know what my body looks like i know
00:52:03
what my breath smells like i know what some of the orifices of my body are just stank and not natural and
00:52:09
not good not pure right so you know you look at them you're naked you look in the mirror and you go what can i offer you know i mean a
00:52:16
partner right so i go the extra mile you know what i mean and that's i think i think you know girls are cool i mean blessed to
00:52:27
date someone like me you think so what do you mean no i think no no i want you to be honest with me i think you're the
00:52:39
i love you you're my brother i know but i need something slammed me down i'm going to push me down
00:52:45
i love you to death i also know that you're living proof that women [Music] care much much more about more than
00:52:56
what meets the eye let me get this right let me finish it it's not done no okay that men are very shallow
00:53:11
men are remarkably shallow right and women are intellectually further than us emotionally because they have the ability to see past
00:53:22
physicality and find something more real you're living proof that women can you know have you ever gone you've gone
00:53:33
swimming in hawaii with a lot of seaweeds and and you have and a lot of vegetation
00:53:38
in the ocean right and somebody says if you dive down you're gonna there's amazing
00:53:45
uh life down there there's incred there's incredible uh uh the sea floor is amazing and a man might
00:53:51
go i don't know look at all that [ __ ] swamp [ __ ] but a woman can go i'm gonna get through all the swamp [ __ ] because i know there's beauty way down there way deep way deep
00:54:07
there is a massive amount of swampy [ __ ] stinky toxic sludgy sludgy particles particles and nasty maybe like man-made things you have to like plastics a lot of man-made grossness a lot of stuff
00:54:19
that's that's man's own fault yeah and they get through that through it to see the natural real beauty the
00:54:26
real beauty though deep like in the bottom where the ins where the fish is very translucent correct you know like
00:54:32
how you go really deep and you have that one with the little tail with the you know that lights up its own way
00:54:39
this is you that's who i am yeah but you got to get through oh a lot of swamp yeah yeah okay so so after all this time i want you to go down the list and say um our
00:54:52
candy crush friends names there do you remember all their names because you did that word association it's been
00:54:58
enough time where i think you should remember all them we spoke to them heavily we had a great time with them did you guys have fun yes good
00:55:05
good now what are their names that sweet sweet human on the left is named montgomery correct now what's the gentleman next to her no though matthew and next to him
00:55:18
you don't remember give me the give me like a hand no come on look at her look at her sweet sweet face and you'll
00:55:23
figure it out i love her i love you he loves you she loves you victoria victoria is over there but that's that's victoria sophie
00:55:37
sophie's choice that's how i remember right and what's the movie that i um can i and can i be honest with you yeah she is a huge fan of yours that's the
00:55:48
hardest part the though the two other girls don't even know who you are i know that i can feel their hands and
00:55:53
she loves you i love your name by the way it's a fella old lady name that's a good hint that's a good guess a good hint florence
00:56:06
but that's a good guess that's pretty good that's a fun guess yeah yeah alice elise nope yeah the the hint yeah was the name of a uh
00:56:19
person was the hint that you used was the name of another person yeah yeah a designer oh a designer oh it's so you should know it by now
00:56:31
okay so let me think of the designers that i know you know ralph ralph yes ralph lauren
00:56:37
okay so that's one right yeah i think we mentioned it in the titanic we mentioned the last name in the titanic bit okay we did
00:56:51
i don't know what were some of the names that we said you were in the titanic bit
00:56:57
when the captain came down to yell at us yeah it was frank yeah but he at first your name he your
00:57:03
last name is sullivan no no i'm s i'm o'sullivan i'm toshi o'sullivan and you're frank wilde no i was an asian sound who's an asian
00:57:16
name okay frank i gotta go you're so defeated yeah i'm so disappointed i'm in my head i'm shut
00:57:23
down frank what i'm in i'm in my own thing i gotta get out of here i'm sweating you're gonna figure this out for the sake of this just [ __ ] tell me what it is
00:57:34
sorry i'm sorry what is wine wanda wang wang [Laughter] who's a designer named wang i don't know her name i know she's
00:58:03
i don't know her we're going to sit here until you get it no i'm leaving i'm going to leave in fact you know what i'm tired of this i don't know why i'm in this i know i'm
00:58:14
going to give you five seconds to tell me what the [ __ ] name is i literally where are you talking to you man who the
00:58:20
[ __ ] are you to [ __ ] name now no no this is your your your responsibility with these tell me the [ __ ] name
00:58:26
somebody right now man these are the people from candy crush they're not the candy crush i'm not afraid of these [ __ ] people why don't i want you to
00:58:32
tell him your name and tell him how sad it makes you they didn't remember what is it
00:58:38
that's what i said you didn't i never said it check the tape vera wang yeah yeah fear i'm sorry okay i forgive you that fast
00:58:51
it's all right i know we shut him down i feel so bad no you're not around here enough
00:58:57
this is my this natural state yeah this is him yeah also he deserves it sometimes thank you for being a better no
00:59:03
i want them to do it i want you guys as loud as you can to yell on the count of three thank you
00:59:09
for being a bad friend so the mic's picking up one two three thank you for being a bad friend that's good
00:59:18
[Music] all right okay so here it is so a bit bit lost hold your eyes close your eyes george
00:59:37
close your eyes george close your eyes close your eyes [Music] [Laughter] [Music]