00:00:00
you two are bad friends who are these two idiots a white dude and an Asian dude you two are disgusting you two are something we're
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bad friends ready 1 2 3 welcome to another episode of bad friends I'm your captain and this is my sidekick Andrew
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this is my side guy my side Hustle No no no piece my side piece no I'm the side piece first of all you're never a side
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you're not even a part of the gang right now well you're a side chunk you're not a side you're a side chunk that's a pretty PE that's
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a you know you also can I just say something too um you're a little deceiving no I I saw the last episode I
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never lied I told you that I haven't done standup in 5 years that's not what I'm talking about oh you know when you
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make assumptions somebody gets bit no do that a term I just made that up I think I got a couple of phrases
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jumbled up there but um um when it's not broke F fix it if you break it anyway uh
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listen bud um I don't like being lied to I don't like being deceived I don't like
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um your rabble rousing that word I agree can we move on no no we can't move on until I address this issue okay what's your name no did
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Esther tell you no okay what's your name Greg no no no if you think we don't know
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okay we know what's your name what do you I thought that this was going to be about I know what it is by the way are
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you chewing are you chewing gum and eating potato chips I'm I'm practicing being a father by the way I had a dream
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where there was three babies in beanies and neon beanies running they were your babies stop stop stop stop stop I know what you're trying to do right now it's
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not going to work we're we're going to talk about this issue and then we're going to move on okay is it because I did Paulie's podcast no it has nothing
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Well has a little bit something to do with it you can't do any other podcast by that way but he promised me a pup cup
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if me and Buster behaved all right these little little whimsical things you're doing right now these these cute things you're doing right now usually it works
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with me cuz I think it's working a little bit now cuz I want to I want to kind of move on now that's so cute but
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my point is um what's your name friend Craig no what is your legal name why would that be a problem okay don't yell
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okay oh that's right we're wearing microphones yeah we're mic we're wearing microphones okay we're strapped or we're
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strapped my dog oh but why would that make you mad what is your cuz I don't like being lied to that's all it's Greg is my middle name in my ID what's your first name though on your ID who did you
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get this from okay sorry goop goop make this easier they does he know we know is it
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am I going to prematurely give information can I tell you what it is or you is that is that the game we're
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playing okay your name is crore crore you know after told you cror your name is cror cror which translates to Greg no it doesn't and Coco transl in space
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language faty no that's a klling on name cror is a Kling it translates to fat guy first of all it's grigor like gor G A masculine
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give a name and a surname variants include Gregory Gregor GGI gregori and Western American is cror oror okay at this point now you know my first name my my middle name my last
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name you know all the schools I've been to my brother says don't give out your social security number and now every
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anyone needs to change my passwords are pretty much on this podcast yeah yeah okay we don't want to go to your middle
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name right now or your last name okay you're doing your cute thing in it and it's really for me because I kind of want to move on but um no let's stick to
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cre cor thank you so much friend yeah yeah what the so why don't you just go by Creek
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cor I had 27 years to decide if I wanted to be cre cor I decided I want to be Greg so we can drive down Glendale you and I and there's there
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could be somebody on the side of the street going crore I will walk by what I will just walk by I know but
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there are people out that that that that know you as cre no no no no no no they either know me as coco or Greg no one
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knows you with a k no one knows who is Coco dude they do you've been trying that since day one trying to get Coco to
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stick and it's not going to stick with me I'm never going to call you that okay who knows like who who comes with their
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own nickname family I don't honestly I thought today was going to be fun I I had a rough week I I keep getting
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chicken nuggets chicken impossible nuggets stuck in my toaster and I got then I got stuck under a weighted
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blanket okay see what he's doing stop it stop it stop it why are you putting nuggets in the toaster cuz you get them
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crispy it's my fourth toaster year do you have an oven it's not plugged in I no it's I don't the oven isn't plugged in the oven I'm not going to turn on an
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oven do you have an air fryer I have an air fryer but that's not plugged in either it's so much fun putting chicken
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nuggets in the toaster and then they pop up and you have to catch them and then you have to get them out but it smokes
00:05:08
and then you think how long can I let it smoke I might have you guys turn off his mic no yeah I'm supposed to be a side
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piece this is It's just yeah you're our side chicken nugget okay okay but first of all yeah plug in the uen plug in the
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air fryer what do you not do you not know how to you do that unplug and plug I know how to use a toaster but do you
00:05:29
know how to plug and unplug things yeah you do so can you unplug your toaster and plug in the oven or whatever well
00:05:35
it's burnt I need a new toaster but yeah okay buy this guy a new toaster please no y I'll I will buy it yeah you buy it
00:05:43
yeah well listen up cror no no that sounds more Korean than Bobby cre I am cre yeah yeah yeah it sounds like from He-Man doesn't it yeah it does it sounds like one of the character
00:05:56
skeletor's [ __ ] no one knew this until hi SK SK it's me cre yeah let me say something cre cor is that cre cor is that a famous cre cor yeah cre oh there are other famous oh chess you're more
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Checkers huh see more Checkers I I don't I like I like that he doesn't seem chess
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when you say youan the fast food restaurant Checkers yeah yeah yeah yeah oh not the game he doesn't have to play that I like board games yeah yeah I like
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Cards Against what games can you play uh Perfection but that's hard uh I like I don't know how to play checkers or chess you don't no Checkers either no I played poker and they underestimated
00:06:37
me and I won I tell you what game he doesn't want how to play is plug in the oven that's a tough game for some reason
00:06:45
how how are the chippies bud yeah I have twins this time yeah you do buddy one's Asian they're both Asian so can we call
00:06:52
you cre cor from now on oh yeah but like that's like the worst thing you could call me oh I could think of no then I'll
00:07:00
I'll meet you I can think a lot of things but like I have some questions for Andrew afterwards because you guys
00:07:05
are getting way CU this is your back we're going to move on so ask afterward no ask now you have questions for Andrew ask away baby no no no no I'll ask after because honestly I think you guys did a
00:07:16
background check no we didn't no we didn't how did you know do you think we did a back look at the [ __ ] employees we have do you think we did a background
00:07:22
check that's insane this is a [ __ ] illegal immigrant an obvious cartel uh uh drug baby and then a loser from the Midwest who was like a a hockey coach Dropout I mean dude we don't we just
00:07:36
pick up the scraps where they fall did we talk about his Long Beach performance yet or to him no no I don't think so we
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hav seen him since then I don't think okay so um that's another lie oh wow no I let me talk okay may I yeah is this
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your show no I don't have a show I know yeah calm it down calm it down D goopy Namaste come right down yeah creek creek cre crey Creer cre
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mccor M sounds like a lawyer yeah yeah so um another deception yeah or that's Johnny Cochran
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I think shut up shut up man shut up you [ __ ] um you had a full-blown panic attack a week before Long Beach begging us please
00:08:29
I don't want to do it I'm going to fail I haven't done it what all the excuses and then you go you show up at the show how many people in the audience you think 3,000 3,000 people and um you walk
00:08:42
up there and you pull out a [ __ ] AK-47 and you go I mean you okay I'm going to two minutes before you went up he told me hey I think he should only he shouldn't go up or he should only do a
00:08:56
couple of jokes I said he looks a little too nervous maybe we should restrict his time to make him feel comfortable just do him a couple minutes and tell him he
00:09:01
can come right back right something like that he was pacing and I I came to you remember I came to you I go ah me and Andrew had a talk you should just say hi
00:09:09
pretty much right and you went up there you went like like yeah yeah yeah and you
00:09:15
obliterated the room did great yeah so that's another lie another lie that wasn't a lie shut up oh so you had 10
00:09:23
minutes of jokes of pure jokes I timed six minutes but not that night first of all you did 12 no I didn't yeah yeah his mic I can't hear him yeah he turned his mic off I like that no no turn his mic up a little
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bit it's fine turn it up but here cre creaky creeky Creek dog I said I was going to die I didn't say I can't do
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standup and that part was true you weren't going to die I was going to die no and then when your agents and manager
00:09:46
showed up I forgot English oh so it's so because also he treat he this is so funny agent manager are like his rock
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bands they're my pen pal like he knew they're by name they're every like what agency it's so [ __ ] weird he knew my
00:10:01
he knew my agent's he was like that's your agent yeah yeah I was like how would you know who that is yeah you said
00:10:06
the name I write letters to them that's how you book Comics F what do you mean you write letters to them and you let
00:10:13
you you're Mr nuoro you mean you mean an email yeah you write an email you hand write a
00:10:19
letter and then translate to email get their attention that'd be funny if you did you email you email noose and you
00:10:25
say hey noose I'm interested in Booking people for my show yeah it's very smart that's do you know my agents yeah who
00:10:33
well I thought Abby was Abe because I was just losing my mind but then I found out it's Abby and it's it's a you know
00:10:40
but Matt Blake he has two first names stop okay he handles heavyweight Abbe yeah Abe Abe by the way we're calling Abby Abe
00:10:58
from her now yeah you're cre and she's ab ab oh my God and by the way what a show that
00:11:04
would be on Adult Swim cre cor and Abe oh it's wander lust it's beautiful it's the precipice of Happiness when you're around I love it what are you showing me right now Carlos goop at a Premiere oh no oh yeah oh really oh oh
00:11:16
you go to Hollywood there he is there he is wow drugstore tune wa push pause for a second none of those people are in the
00:11:23
movie H none of those people are in the movie Sandy Danto how come how come I get invited to this Benji AR follow who's the guy in the middle there is that Al Paulie who Paulie that's Paulie
00:11:35
yeah none of them are in the movie what do you doing on the red carpet of a drug told him I was literally he told the
00:11:41
lady running the carpet that I was on uh love on the Spectrum and she gently invited me on the red
00:11:48
carpet he said that to everyone we meet everyone we meet it does not cuz that's cuz he call tells everyone I'm Chinese yeah right so it's the same thing he says you have autism
00:12:00
well do you think you but you do you have autism did we say this I I started taking a test and halfway through my ADD
00:12:05
kicked in and it wasn't looking good so I stopped but I'm open to taking an Autism we should put you we should on
00:12:10
the Spectrum yeah cuz we want to find you love we love you and we want you to find love you don't want love no I don't
00:12:15
want spectrums or scales I want no limits but what your can I may I ask a question and we're going to move on I
00:12:22
know just let me ask him a question get on let's move on soon I know I know but let because it
00:12:27
speak my curiosity can we write down what your perfect mate would be yeah you're G to come up with an animal no I'm yeah no that's I'm asking
00:12:38
you no I will end up you're going to come up with an animal like a kangaroo or something honestly so give me a trait
00:12:44
so um age bracket maybe oh I'm writing it down I'm not one of those people with an age bracket Jesus [ __ ] Christ oh my God yeah maybe this is an exercise for
00:12:56
another time because I don't like exercises yeah oh um sorry uh it's uh it's like red light and and and green light red light age
00:13:10
age I don't know like 25 to 35 I mean give give me an age bracket here manef your pref
00:13:17
preference okay uh I I don't I I I don't want TW I you're you're getting on my last [ __ ] nerve right now two slow people make a very slow person uh so uh um so I don't
00:13:31
I guess 2 25 25 on on onwards yeah what's the age Gap here I mean the the the limit you think 50 I don't want another Mom okay so
00:13:43
let's go 25 to 40 35 okay okay 25 30 no what do the stop we we we're moving on um what what what does this person do for an occupation that would be a preference
00:13:55
for you um my friend's a lawyer but I treat her like a regular person a lawyer then no um should we move on I oh
00:14:07
yeah all right let's talk about we'll find love next time we'll get you we'll get you a 27y old lawyer okay there's a
00:14:14
lot of those roaming around yeah anyway um welcome back to the show but thank you and thank you for having me in Long
00:14:21
Beach and thank you for having me okay okay thank me too thank you CHR not very many people get to live that kind of thing and I never thought I would we're happy that we're happy you're happy
00:14:32
happy happy happy let's talk about some real stuff yeah talk about so um talk about one of the funniest moments I've ever witnessed in my entire life in an
00:14:37
airport well it wasn't it was a a very awkward situation do you guys know what happened so we were in Austin yeah the the flight's delayed so it's me Andrew
00:14:48
and Andrew's wife were sitting there waiting for them to board the plane and um we're standing there and people are asking for photos with us yeah you you know and um which is pretty normal if I
00:15:02
if I may say so so myself and there's a guy off to the side pretty near us on a table and he's on his laptop and he go excuse me correct me if I'm wrong the
00:15:15
story he goes excuse me what do you guys do MH and I said oh we're jugglers and magicians that's right right and he goes [ __ ] that he he goes I don't believe
00:15:26
that for a second and I said you believe what you want to believe pal but at the same time yeah I said Bobby said [ __ ]
00:15:35
you we started cracking up yeah we crack and Bobby goes go [ __ ] yourself go [ __ ] your yeah yeah and we're laughing and
00:15:42
this guy went like this to this and look straight down straight down and I don't know what he's doing
00:15:48
he's typing away typing away and now I'm now and then your wife laughs we cracked
00:15:53
up no but she's laughing a lot yeah cuz it's now it's awkward and I and I kind of go hey man
00:15:59
we Comics you we joke wrong [ __ ] around you know and he just won't look up didn't look up so then I start going
00:16:05
let's get away from here we stood there for a long time long time and it was so uncomfortable and you just kept typing
00:16:11
away looking down looking down and Bobby goes should we walk away should we walk away I go all right we can walk away so
00:16:16
we walk away mhm now the whole time we the conversation is how I guess how uncomfortable I feel it was so weird yeah I go I don't know what to do I mean I feel so [ __ ] bad and I said just go
00:16:28
go over to him you you and your wife say it I we said go over to and just say just say we were just kidding and I'm like I'm like going I I don't know man
00:16:39
you didn't need to we it was already over we were kidding not only did I need to I didn't want to but you did I did
00:16:45
you're a standup guy yeah I did so I come up slowly and hey man dude I'm so sorry that I told you to go [ __ ] yourself I go seriously we're like that's just our brand of
00:16:57
humor you know you usually that get to laugh you know what I mean and um I'm so sorry and he goes why are you apologizing to me and I go well cuz I
00:17:08
just I feel bad right and he goes and he just goes back and his now you forget one thing he said that was really rude
00:17:14
oh that was yeah he goes that was really rude I go I know I and he and then he goes back into his thing this is like a
00:17:19
50-year-old man we were just [ __ ] kidding and he [ __ ] took it to her he screwed Bobby off and he looked back
00:17:25
down and tight but then Bobby loved it cuz he walked by us he goes what if he's not even on this plane I go he's on this
00:17:30
plane oh yeah yeah and he walked right by and Bob he stared at him the whole [ __ ] time I stared said when he walked in the
00:17:37
plane anyway wherever you are sir so we're sorry we're [ __ ] kidding we're kidding but you know what dude [ __ ] that
00:17:46
guy hell yeah dude for real well what did you really say to me you come up to me all nervous and he goes what if he runs a studio what if he like a
00:17:52
president oh yeah yeah I mean because that's that's my [ __ ] that's my lock you know what I mean it's Jeff Ba's
00:17:57
house yeah or whatever you know I mean but it's like but then he he went to coach Bobby loved that well I loved it because the the odds of him being a studio exact just came way down you mean
00:18:12
that's true I'm like oh and he also had an instrument yeah he had an instrument like a violin or something something like a small little instrument so um I'm
00:18:19
I mean I'm pretty probably there's an orchestra in La that doesn't like me right now it what if it's the LA
00:18:25
philarmonic yeah I don't care I don't go to that me neither yeah yeah it's [ __ ] but I anyway I'm we're sorry I I'm sorry
00:18:31
don't [ __ ] yourself but I do believe that um I took a risk you know I do try to make amends when it's needed of course you did the right thing and usually it works out we're like hey man
00:18:42
I understand you know I mean whatever but that just didn't happen 10 times out of 10 it works out if not with that guy though I can't believe it I couldn't
00:18:48
believe it but it didn't ruin a good trip we went down to Austin we no it was didn't okay the Friday was great we did
00:18:55
with Joe you guys weren't there you were Carlos there Jo and Frank we of the basement yard I
00:19:01
think it's only available on patreon that was fun then we went out to a great dinner oh my God a glorious dinner 3
00:19:06
forks we had a great and then Rogan texted me well I know I had run into Rogan earlier the night before and he
00:19:12
goes um oh my go you all right no what did you do this cre I did no I hope they're SE fried what stir fry Jesus this guy's
00:19:27
hungry I hope they're you want stir fry right now Carlos go go get him some stir stir fry certified yeah we are certified
00:19:35
by the way we I want to walk in here next time for him with stir fry in it got it done true classic you know my
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that's rocket money.com bfri rocket money.com bad friends so um Rogan invited us to The Black Keys so um we go it was [ __ ] unbelievable
00:22:47
awesome we were backstage we met the guys you know um and but when they were about to play We for some reason ended up on the stage they walked us across the stage which was weird that was so
00:22:59
cool I thought it was awesome no I thought it was weird like cuz people I think in the audience was like what the [ __ ] is going on here they cheered I
00:23:05
didn't hear cheers I heard cheers that's in your head oh it is yeah maybe it was just cre cor out there maybe
00:23:13
oh cheering for me yeah yeah and we saw the show and then I left a little early you did how long did you stay to the very end oh yeah and then we stayed afterwards and went backstage and chatted with them and it oh did you
00:23:24
really yeah it was red I I can't when you said I needed to leave Joe was like where the [ __ ] is he going and I was
00:23:30
like this is what he does he leaves he just gets uncomfortable and needs to leave but you missed it CU afterward no
00:23:36
I saw five or six songs like I I knew all the songs yeah and I was just like oh that was cool and I just kind of it
00:23:42
just got to it there's these two guys in back of me mhm I don't know who those guys are yeah and
00:23:48
then also there's a little fence here where everyone is and they're just kind of like I don't know I just felt
00:23:53
uncomfortable I felt like trapped in in a cage it was also hard for you to see well because Duncan Trussell was there and I was there you know so anyway it was a great time and um what and then
00:24:05
Saturday we did the mothership and you know bounc around the mothership a little bounc a little bit and then um our friends saw Jim Norton Erica roach
00:24:12
oh my God bunch of good Comics good Comics it was a fun weekend it actually was a really I like these little trips we take these little tiny trips we take
00:24:18
we should take more but we should just do it just you and I together yeah when we're not really I we did do a show but
00:24:25
a simple thing no it was small and intimate it was kind of a fun you know what was nice to not have
00:24:30
there the boys yeah it felt good it felt real good it felt freeing you liked it cuz you turn to me at some point and you go it's nice that macon's not here I did say that I think you did and
00:24:42
and you meant it and I think you not not an offensive way it was just like um you know what like a you you know Compound W
00:24:49
is is that a cream it's close yeah count Compound W um remove the warts okay you know and it's like
00:25:01
it's like I used to have a wart on my knuckle and I used Compound W knuckle yeah he had a ward on his moose knuckle yeah my moose knuckle and um and it went away and it was just like oh I
00:25:12
don't have the W that's kind of what it felt like not having a cone around oh that's really it's like it's gone that's
00:25:18
funny because the warts do kind of come and go as they please they do they grow back at the same spot something and also they pop up at the most inconvenient
00:25:25
times don't they exactly so your wart wart we have abee cror and wart yeah but um no offense because sometimes when you're around yeah you know sometimes warts are okay yeah sometimes they add
00:25:39
character you know when you see like a witch with boils and warts it looks cool well gives you reality check right oh
00:25:45
I'm human M or I have to deal with human things you know you got like negative emotions and stuff right yeah you got a
00:25:52
lot of compliments uh on your gels this weekend for some reason yeah a lot yeah he drives crazy it drives me nuts you don't like my nails I don't I know I don't but I don't know why yeah why does
00:26:03
it bother you just because my dad used to make us paint our nails no there's no way when we would
00:26:10
lose like if I lost a basketball game he'd make me paint my nails and I'd have to wear a dress and walk around the neighborhood and I'd say I'm a little
00:26:16
[ __ ] I would say I'm a little [ __ ] boy and I can't win and I'd have to repeat that and the neighborhood goes Shame
00:26:21
Shame Shame ring a bell yeah yeah yeah dude when cersi had to do that in Game of Thrones oh my God imagine Shame Shame Shame and then when she gets revenge on that one crazy
00:26:33
nun where she's in prison and that nun's like harassing her for a season and then
00:26:38
you know tables have turned and then the mountain was it the mountain or whatever had to torture
00:26:44
the you guys never saw Game of Thrones no but wait do you know what it is I I've seen it it's I've I've never seen an episode but I've seen it what's that oh this is [ __ ] phenomenal this is
00:26:55
the there's never we do this at the end or no we do these at the end yeah go ahead do at the end we don't do this now okay he is but you know he's throwing
00:27:02
stuff in the air and I do like that he's juggling and you know why he's trying everything right now why cuz he's sober as he's ever been he's clear-headed he's
00:27:08
participatory I don't know man great a marks for me well you don't believe that I'm not drinking I think you're just
00:27:14
still smoking weed I'm not okay yeah see that was actually very honest you could
00:27:19
tell that he's not how many days now a little over like 95 96 or something look at me in the eyes and he pills no pills lexipro only prescription
00:27:31
that's legal that's that's legal that's fine okay my bad no congratulations man no Tuson you're not like tussen tripping
00:27:37
no I wish no no tussen how's the sexual behavior uh I actually slowed down a little bit very good very good yeah
00:27:43
before you came in he was showing us hooker websites oh yeah I mean really literally you ins that's
00:27:49
what we looking at he he was telling me what did you say say what you said I said Andrew as soon as your money came
00:27:56
in as soon as I pay the check I wrote him a check all right as soon as I wrote him a check what did you do I went to a
00:28:02
website he went to a hooker website we gave you a little raise didn't we not the moment that he cashed the check
00:28:07
that's insane maybe we shouldn't get in that raise well no he's going to use it anyways I'd rather that than on drugs
00:28:13
exactly that's true that's but also that can be a drug be careful yeah and also I just want to say I got invited to a
00:28:18
girl's place last week to do Coke like two in the morning and I thought about it for a while but I didn't go he called
00:28:24
me it's a girl that you've already penetrated uh no we're working on it okay yeah thank you go thanks goop
00:28:29
thanks Creek thanks Creek no he did call me and tell me he's like you'd be proud of me I got invited to a party that was
00:28:34
really typically would want to go to real bad but but resisted but that's huge so these girls they call you up and
00:28:40
they say hey we got a bag you got to come over yeah and what's your first thought oh this can be like here ready
00:28:46
bling bling bling bling bling hello hey Carlos hey what's going on what's up hold on this is my Carlos I have a I have a girl with me who are you talking to Carlos you know bald weirdo oh my god
00:29:00
do you like him like he's like that guy crumb yeah yeah yeah yeah we call him crumb you why he has crumbs he's crusty
00:29:08
he's crusty yeah anyway Carlos we have a bag of coke with your name on it what are you thinking is there any fentanyl
00:29:14
in it I mean [ __ ] I have one of those strips let me check hold on don't laugh I I know I just like no one ever cuz we always have pure Coke we always have pure Coke and when he's
00:29:26
asking me it's like I luckily these fentanyl stripss thank God test a test test let's see a little a little bit a
00:29:31
little not enough to kill anybody not to kill anybody want to come over yeah I do let me call you back anyway there's no
00:29:38
there's no fat there's no fatel so please come over I have to call Andrew who's Andrew Gross is that that stupid
00:29:45
redheaded from Dave is that that ugly guy from Dave no he's one of my best friends but is it the same guy is it the
00:29:51
same guy he's friends with a little Chinese fat guy yeah exactly e that Chinese fat guy is pretty hot though you
00:29:58
think so I don't think so why do you because it's like guys like that they have way bigger dicks than you think no
00:30:04
that's not what I've heard and seen that's not I actually went to one of their shows and I saw it and it was [ __ ] G well I'm going to say I talked
00:30:10
to his ex Kila Sarah Christine all his exes they said a big dick that's not what Kila said to me anyway are you
00:30:17
going to come over and do this coke with us or not I'm on my way there he goes I'm glad that you resist and you do
00:30:23
the right thing and pick up the phone and call a friend do not I'm sure that's tempting too cuz two cute chicks want
00:30:29
you to come over and hang out yeah was awesome and your mind do you ever think I could go over there and not do Coke and just hang out with cool hot chicks
00:30:35
that's what my plan was I knew you soak uh you know what's funny is I soaked in New York last week you did you
00:30:42
soaked in New York is that when you sexual stuff is kind that's when you just put it in and let it sit yeah yeah you leave it in yeah right you're right
00:30:48
crore and then what happens in the morning have you ever soaked cre no but I knew it had to be dirty because Carlos is doing it that's right right in the
00:30:55
Mormon Community somebody gets under the bed and while you're soaking and they bounce the mattress do you know this that sounds fun
00:31:01
okay oh you're the I feel like you're that's your job you be grit at that think you're like
00:31:08
we he's just sitting cross- leg eating chips with his head hit at the bottom of the and some girls like who's doing oh it's cre cor is under the B fine and he
00:31:15
has to go cre cor cre wow you soaked in New York yeah I think it was because it was the first time with this girl it was like the first time we met that it was like a
00:31:26
progression over the night like take off my pants then my underwear then soak but
00:31:32
the weird thing is Love on the Spectrum was on the whole time really I got into it so I was listening during this whole
00:31:38
time maybe that's why you couldn't that's why you stopped it soaking well how do you know I didn't come cuz I
00:31:44
didn't I think he did it I think D this is he's a detective did you see that yeah he's a good little detective yeah you're like Sherlock Holmes to me I I ask away yeah uh you came to love on the
00:31:59
Spectrum and we're gonna prove it I didn't come watching Love on the Spectrum I promise keep going Creek you
00:32:05
got it I'm not trained for this um let's do a little scenario here I think I really think that you're like Sherlock HS okay we're it's the early 1800s in
00:32:17
London I've been to London that's that doesn't matter it's fine all right right and we him and I are police officers we're on a SE scene of the crime that's
00:32:29
right right there's a young lady brutally stabbed there's a knife um but it's broken off but we
00:32:37
can't find the other half of the knife okay we don't know what to do cuz we're new mhm like M what do we do I don't
00:32:45
really know what to do yeah I just don't you I I I don't understand how we are we
00:32:51
hired like this type of English guy from Essex or something I got the job anyway well part of the knife is
00:32:59
broken off anyway cre it's up to you to figure it out yeah cre we called you do we there our phones we called them we rung you up We R we yeah sorry cre about
00:33:09
his face you've got to finish he had a stroke you've got to finish your crime you're a great actor I'll be eating beans on
00:33:16
toast I think the first place you should check is inside for the other half oh inside for the other half yeah inside for other half well you're are you have are you having a stroke no
00:33:30
yeah are you English hello I try to do what you're doing I feel like this is like watching things we didn't check we didn't check each side when Bobby does
00:33:41
English it's like a Asian guide shut up man let me [ __ ] commit to it dude anyway Bullocks find find the [ __ ] other half of the knife inside the body
00:33:52
so what do you do to find the other half Creek you're up I think you have to flip them over and burp them burp them see if
00:33:58
the other half comes out that way holy [ __ ] wow my God people swallow daggers I think they swallow the dagger
00:34:05
behold who wow I lied in my resume I shouldn't get this this this this what what happened to your o I don't know yours freaked mine
00:34:16
out yours why you guys I'm trying I'm committing anyway okay so very good you would be a good detective that would be very good whoa so you wanted us to tap his body so that the other blade
00:34:31
would come out of the hole Yeah you burp him you burp him wow there somewhere yeah
00:34:41
okay I don't know Creek yeah are are you finding some new found Fame look behind
00:34:47
you we had some fan make art for you which is incredible you're well you're turning violet Violet that's what that
00:34:53
is you know what that's from yeah I love Charlie in the Chocolate Factory H Willy Wonka and the chocolate pack I don't
00:35:00
like the Johnny Depp version at all why is that cuz Johnny Depp so you hate Johnny de post Scandal or pre pre- Scandal he was just terrible in that movie you don't need to make him you
00:35:10
know Willy Wonka quirky because he's already perfect so you think Gene Wilder's version is the best version
00:35:17
Yeah by far what about shalam didn't he just redo it as a young willly Wonka yeah do you not like shom's version um
00:35:25
yeah I watched it it took three times to get through it but you can't beat the original you can't beat the original
00:35:32
there's you know you really can't you really can't I don't know I don't I honestly be I've only seen that movie
00:35:37
one time God I've watched it so many [ __ ] so I don't know what what it's about at all I can I just I and I'm not
00:35:43
making a bit out about it let me see if I can get it let's see how close you are okay there's a
00:35:49
factory that's a crazy part there's not well there's a yeah really course of course and this guy um Willie Wonka well Willie Wonka
00:36:02
William William T Wonka William T Wonka right runs this Chocolate Factory that's
00:36:07
right and there's a promotional kind of uh a contest for people that if in a in a bar there's a ticket right and if you get the golden ticket you get to go to this promotional thing seems like you've
00:36:18
seen it no I know I haven't I saw one time I just but now after now it gets a little hazy
00:36:25
okay so if all the kids that get the golden ticket right they and then things ensue somebody get blows up one of them
00:36:31
is fat one of them is a [ __ ] okay okay goop goop slow down who's the [ __ ] goop
00:36:40
Vera salt Vera salt yeah oh that's her name there there's a band called veras Sal uhoh uhoh news flash news flash they're named after her wow yeah anyway how come there
00:36:52
wasn't a band called Charlie Bucket Charlie Bucket is such a good name for a band but at the end there's a Gob
00:36:58
stopper that one of the kids stole Everlasting Gobstopper Everlasting Gob stopper and at the end of the movie he
00:37:05
puts it on Wily Wonka's desk that's Charlie Charlie Charlie is Charlie is bribed here we by Willy Wonka's what seems to be his evil
00:37:17
competitor right and he says if you steal me Everlasting G stoer smeel Worth or something that guy what that's the guy who smel smel Worth or something the guy
00:37:30
you're doing your schma worth that one no it's not schma worth his name in the movie is uh what is his name that
00:37:37
[ __ ] guy Will Wonka enemy yeah what is his [ __ ] name slugworth slug weren even close at allel worth s schmeel is
00:37:48
umug I remember vividly as a kid watching this by the way and seeing the way they shot that the sheen on his face
00:37:54
it was so smooth I remember the light bouncing off his cheeks and the indentation and how scary he looked the
00:38:00
way he talked to there's no job that this guy doesn't have that that scares the [ __ ] out of people yeah at McDonald's what do you think yeah like I
00:38:08
wouldn't eat it he's so yeah he's so scary in this film he does such a great job but he convinces Charlie to try to steal an everlasting Gobstopper right there that's the scene and Charlie Bucket
00:38:21
succumbs to the poor uh overwhelming feeling of trying to help his family out and Jacks one with his Grandpa Joe you said Jack's one with his grandpa
00:38:34
Joe dude honestly dude you need help Creek you need to get you need to go to the hospital and get your head checked out D eat one of those chips Creek yeah yeah chip eat a crick Anyway Chip eat a
00:38:46
crick so and then and then Wily Wonka likes Charlie no well he sees the good and Charlie the whole film cuz all these other kids are kind of spoiled brats there's Mike TV wants to be a Hollywood movie star I see and there's Violet
00:38:57
board and brw wow so you've seen it you've seen it one of my favor it was one of my favorite books as a kid like I
00:39:03
loved it so much and then what ended up happening was you stole fizzy lifting drink that scene is one of the best
00:39:09
scenes of all time right and so and he's with his uncle or something right Grandpa Joe Grandpa Joe and and and
00:39:16
Grandpa Joe I remember goes come on come on Charlie let's leave come on and he go
00:39:21
and he goes hold on Grandpa Joe one second very good and he what no it's very good and walks up to the table I I remember willly Wonka is writing something down maybe he's like you know
00:39:33
writing a letter or drawing a picture I don't know what he's doing and he sits on the table he turns around and then
00:39:38
will goes this is Charlie right Charlie come back here Charlie You've Won Charlie oh yeah yeah you won Charlie yeah that's something like that the beautiful scene that that that these film dorks will remember is when he puts
00:39:51
the Gob stopper down and he puts his hand on the god do you know this moment will he put his hand over the god Gob stopper as if to like say like this is
00:40:02
amends have been made peace has been made in putting his hands on the Gob stopper was you saying to the man I'm sorry I told you to go [ __ ] yourself
00:40:09
dude and all he could have done all he should have done was ride the elevator through the glass into the sky with you
00:40:14
but he didn't that guy didn't he that guy was slugworth he's slugworth the man we met you hear that violin man you hear
00:40:21
that violin you're slugworth you are dude and I'm gonna say this right now dude I've never ever in my lifetime
00:40:28
go ahead no I want you to go I've never in my lifetime have met any individual like you dude that was out of pocket
00:40:34
unreal and un rehearsed you got a lot of nerve slug I that was a terrible trip because of you got it you got it dude
00:40:42
how dare that guy clad you guys um you know I had a breakup a little baby breakup just a little baby break a couple years ago and you know she moved out of the house Y
00:40:53
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and good standing Robin Hood Financial LLC member sic is a registered broker dealer you know what you know what made
00:43:47
me laugh at the at the at the end of that long trip was that your driver was waiting for you so excited to see you
00:43:54
mine didn't exist oh yeah I walked around for a while looking for this guy well that happened to me the time before
00:44:01
remember when mine didn't even show up at all and then my guy lied by the way this is what's the weirdest thing yeah but I didn't [ __ ] up with Andrew no no
00:44:09
it wasn't his fault okay it wasn't it wasn't Carlos's fault if you [ __ ] up Thursday I swear to God you're fired no
00:44:14
I okay oh I promise that's it I'm going to call you directly angle you're fired I don't want to see you again that would never happen tce yeah it won't happen
00:44:21
anyway anyway anyway um you just jinxed him yeah fancy be nice yeah in fact you should get your car ready like I should go
00:44:33
there should I be parked there actually wait a minute why Carlos just got a brand new car why don't you put on a
00:44:39
suit and pick him up yeah I could do that should I wear all bad friend stuff and I want you to hold a sign outside of Rogan's club though I don't know if you
00:44:46
saw this there were black Israelites do you know what this is goop Creek do you know what a black Israelite is it's like an African Jud to me okay Jesus
00:44:55
chist there was dozen of black Israelites yelling in the streets they were the original Jews and they were screaming at people and they were
00:45:01
wearing purple shirts just like those shirts right there and they were screaming at people that's exactly what they were wearing that's it no that's
00:45:06
what Beyonce's backup dancers wore at Coachella is this at Coachella I think so wow there's the trumpets they're not
00:45:12
holding or wakanda so so these individual did you just hear what he just said that was so [ __ ] funny holy
00:45:20
[ __ ] wakanda wow this is the sniper yeah yeah are let me let me ask you a question so are these PE these uh individuals are they Jewish of descent
00:45:33
they say they are the original Jews je wow so they they believe in Judaism and they practice Judaism they believe in
00:45:40
yeah they believe they are the original Jews they say they were yelling at people on the street handing out pamphlets okay and it wasn't an
00:45:45
approachable I would rather the other version of Jews that's like hey come get a pamphlet like this was very aggressive
00:45:52
very aggressive well they need these people these great fine people these great fine people there's good people on
00:45:57
both sides yeah there's good Jews black Jews and white Jews no but it was crazy how AG they were screaming at us and I
00:46:04
was like I'm just trying to go to the [ __ ] club but they were actually protesting Joe's Club no no no no okay
00:46:10
no no no they were in six Street protesting something I couldn't really hear what they were doing it had nothing to do with the club it was just out
00:46:15
front of his [ __ ] club cuz 6th Street is a absolute nightmare it's a nightmare
00:46:20
it's disgusting yeah look at that guy right there yeah pointing letting you know yeah yeah black is Israelites shout
00:46:27
out to the black Israelites okay okay anyway how many show now you're going to see another show you just went and saw a show who you going to see now I'm doing 20 shows in New York next week you're
00:46:39
what I'm going to see 20 shows in New York 20 Broadway shows yeah oh by the way and whatever show we talk about ends up getting canceled sleep no more has
00:46:45
been operating without a permit apparently for two years and they shut it down love and and Adele lost her
00:46:52
voice and she canceled but you did go to Madonna with Esther no yeah that was fun it was a L of fun yeah we're going to
00:46:57
see casy mus grapes together you kind of are a material girl huh not a physical Material Girl what's that other thing oh no then I'm not a material girl I'm I'm more of an experienced one you're an
00:47:10
experienced girl yeah like a virgin oh my favorite song by her is borderline I like that song that's so good it's a
00:47:16
good song She's a phenomenal do you remember how people talk about Taylor Swift huge star but do you remember in
00:47:23
the [ __ ] late 80s dude Madonna was huge yeah what she was she was the same kind of scale same kind of scale of fervor obviously not as big Because the Internet didn't exist if
00:47:35
the internet would existed Madonna would have been as big 100% she would have had her huh bigger bigger maybe but that's
00:47:42
harder to know because Taylor Swift is a global phenomenon Madonna was too but the reach was just more because of the is it is it me though I'm going to ask a serious real question
00:47:53
here I can't I don't know a Taylor Swift song I mean I'm I'm sure she's very good
00:47:58
but like but Madonna songs I know like all the like the top eight hits right yeah I think you do know Taylor s songs you just don't remember that you know them because they're yeah but even as a young guy was like oh that's borderline
00:48:09
by Madonna and like it was catchy you know what I mean but is it because I'm older I I don't know what's going on yeah it's not for us really yeah dude
00:48:16
we're old we're you're a 52y old Chinese man it's not for you oh yeah the [ __ ]
00:48:22
yeah she's not writing songs for you okay she I mean seriously do Taylor Swift's number one songs and I got to
00:48:28
tell you you will know all of them it just like I literally won't like Shake It Off shake it off you know that song
00:48:35
literally don't no chance never heard it I got a blank space baby and I'll write your name you know that no okay um um I
00:48:44
don't know Bad Blood you definitely know bad blood I don't know I I know Billy ish I know Adell I know um people who didn't build their careers off pity yeah
00:48:56
oh he hates you don't no not much of a singer we don't need a 10minute version of any
00:49:04
song that dull you know that dull you know what thing you're not a material girl you're a moody girl yeah you're a little Moody girl Moody [ __ ] who's a little Moody [ __ ] over there I like
00:49:14
that you you're a little judgy [ __ ] I think you're actually he's a very not judgy you are judgy cre Corp cut it out
00:49:22
you've never seen a Taylor sth concert I have all she does it oh you've been yeah all she does
00:49:28
is but you have to keep your enemies closer you how many times have you seen Taylor
00:49:33
Swift live I think three times okay but once wasn't enough to say I don't like accident she was it was never her alone
00:49:40
oh she's at Festival lineups okay oh I say who have you what artists have you seen the most like the most number of
00:49:47
times when I was a kid I saw Hillary Duff 23 times Jesus Christ yeah but uh does she
00:49:54
have a lot of songs yeah she she has an incredible uh uh you know discography Hillary Ashley Simpson the Queen of Pop she's incredible do you like fugazi is
00:50:05
that like bukkaki yeah Bazi it's the same thing yeah like do you like like punk bands uh like is
00:50:14
there a Sonic Youth album you know or no I wouldn't say fugazi is a punk band oh they're totally I mean minor threats to
00:50:20
fuka they're pretty DC Punk the weekend's very good I like his white songs and his black songs
00:50:27
cre cre cre the weekend has black and white songs yeah what are his black songs his white songs are like blinding lights and then his black songs are like
00:50:37
you know when he whispers and says really dirty things like R&B when he does R&B whisper a little dirty thing
00:50:44
that he would say in my ear go ahead um go ahead man no I wouldn't just say I I need to know lyrics no you no just make it up if you don't know come come
00:50:57
on no they're mortifying oh my God no just say just come on man oo I'm blinded by the line give me something aggressive that I need my phone no no from your
00:51:11
Precor from your heart yeah baby something that yeah baby pump that pump that juice inside my it's worse than that oh really oh oh let me
00:51:23
see let me see if I can guess if you don't want to play all right yeah baby let me take my [ __ ] knuckle dick
00:51:30
right jam it up your [ __ ] tight [ __ ] and rip holes baby what's up I think that's what he said oh my God uh yeah it's like really
00:51:40
graphic no I don't like this at all why why grossing me out I know I'm just saying I'm trying to get this what would
00:51:47
he say go something come on I'm be I'm dirty come on look up or n l no no no don't we're making it up man so I'm we're at Club mhm Tampa sounds like it you don't like you
00:52:01
don't like this at all no no I like it 2008 mhm right eore street I'm B over big booty booty Beyond booties dude it's like Twilight it's
00:52:12
like the night sky and I'm jiggling it dude and hey yeah I'm Kia I'm Kia wait hey I'm K what's what's your name
00:52:27
baby baby yo my boy it's my boy crore no no not you he's trying to hit not Creek or you trying to hit what he my Bo trying to hit what he
00:52:40
gonna say hey Creek Run game on this [ __ ] what he gonna say Run game on this [ __ ] creek you could have your own
00:52:46
strip club with that ass no wow well that was weird are you interested in my boy creek creek run some game on this
00:52:52
[ __ ] I want game from you player no way Creek what's please I don't want that guy Creek try again no I think it's
00:52:58
forceful now I think I have to stop I think my legs are burning dude I'm going go home my legs my legs are burning [ __ ] do it D tomorrow this was a bad idea every time
00:53:12
we go out [ __ ] do it dude every time we go out that's what he does you're supposed to do it dude we can't go out
00:53:17
anymore if you keep doing that oh she would no was but you're making it weird all you have to do is say you know I
00:53:22
think you're beautiful can I buy you a drink yeah something come on Creek God you don't
00:53:28
drink at all right oh I drink I like drinkies I like yeah what's your favorite drink I like Jin I like
00:53:36
Jameson one's Jin and one was whiskey so you just like anything real yeah whatever gets you [ __ ] up yeah no beer
00:53:44
I like beer okay I like I like them all I want to get drunk with Creek yeah please drink I'm out you're out I know I'm so mad right now I'm sorry my legs burn so bad right now I'm so mad that he
00:53:55
didn't play along I didn't do anything yeah you [ __ ] it up man my legs are burning because we could have done a bit Creek was trying to do the bit and he
00:54:01
[ __ ] it up don't blame me I know but you don't need a friend in the scenario yes you do as a fat person I know how your legs feel right now they're burning from the bottom off no no all right cuz
00:54:13
you for some reason you don't want to do it because I don't because I want to pass the mic to Creek yeah I'm just
00:54:19
trying to get some sexualities from you man we're going to try to we're going to have to put Icy Hot on Bobby's
00:54:25
legs you use icy hot bud no yeah have you put Ben have you put Ben on your dick no no no he has no no I pocket
00:54:36
dialed you the other night I know you did and I it was cute you called me right back and I said sorry Pock dial yeah you about dial I know sorry little
00:54:42
but I giggle I did because I I mean I wish I could giggle I didn't you can Giggle and text I should Giggle and text because I giggled when you you know what
00:54:47
my dad does my dad will butt dial me and then it'll leave a 30 minute voicemail of him just talking to other people just
00:54:53
talking to other people or just talking to the TV sometimes I'll hear him talk to the television I'm not kidding he's alone most of the day so he'll just yell
00:54:59
at the TV it's kind of sad I want to I wish I could move my parents out here like do you don't you wish your mom was closer no really no I don't wait why you
00:55:11
I think I I would worry about her constantly if she was closer no it cuz I know that she lives in Phoenix and I
00:55:17
know she lives in the suburbs you know nice and safe safe you know in La it's a little there's other
00:55:23
elements that I I don't know I know I know what you're saying yeah I'm afraid of
00:55:29
elements you I mean being exposed to her that I don't want Hollywood stuff like your mom ends up at a Hollywood party yeah Carlos yeah with Carlos right
00:55:41
yeah and there's like fentanyl she's like I I want to try let me try caros because she has said um before I die I
00:55:49
want to try Moana well why don't we let her try she's gonna she's old enough now I would get her that like a gummy or
00:55:56
something like a blunt no not a she never smoked anything no don't [ __ ] blunt her dude come on dude don't blunt
00:56:02
his M yeah don't blunt my M right now weirdo no like a little like 5 milligram little Gummy yeah I got her yeah yeah
00:56:08
give her two yeah she had five she's never smoked weed she's never touched marijuana before give her a two see how
00:56:13
she feels give her another two see how she feels then dose her with a 20 um I also have a mushroom chocolates in my no
00:56:19
I don't want her to have that okay well give that to someone give that to us I know it's in the back right now it's in the back of your freezer fridge yeah
00:56:26
they were also talking about in the in the van over to the Black Keys I don't want to name the name but I
00:56:34
guess you can just cut that out right this older comic Legend has the best LSD in the country really yeah and it's it's liquid form and and they go one
00:56:48
drop you're telling me Jay Leno has the best yeah yeah Jay Leno dud have you ever done acid oh yeah I hated a when I did it I didn't like it yeah mushrooms
00:56:58
love no I like acid because it's more I just it's more intense the the the the you know I mean like I I hallucinate crazy like the walls open up I wonder if you can see as
00:57:10
much as we see when you hallucinate probably not as much because it's I don't see it in the per
00:57:16
peripheral it's a little blinders huh yeah yeah yeah I only see this much imagine yeah mean Asian
00:57:24
hallucinating is oily restricted yeah yeah he like Bobby do you see that Dragon you're like where where yeah where yeah yeah I have to actually
00:57:31
directly look at it you know I mean and not you know when Asians hallucinate their vision is is just like an apple
00:57:37
Pro where you have to like kind of like move your head around a little bit to see it all well that's why they didn't run when the [ __ ] bomb hit no they
00:57:43
couldn't see it coming yeah they were just you mean they didn't you know if they had regular eyes they could have
00:57:48
seen it up they could have seen it and they would have run but they were like oh what by the way there was a guy on the plane wearing an apple Vision Pro
00:57:55
and it is funny to watch a guy yeah he was sitting like right there in that seat right next to me and it was funny to watch a guy like
00:58:02
this wow and he's do and his people next to him just like reading a book like not it that is going to be the future the
00:58:07
whole plane is going to be on devices but what's the difference between apple vision and Oculus cuz I have an Oculus and I was tired of it after two weeks
00:58:13
Apple vision is supposed to be significantly better than really yeah but the technology is better I mean where can I get one I can go to Apple
00:58:19
store right now and buy one yeah right now they're $5,000 it's [ __ ] yeah the Oculus was
00:58:24
only like what 600 bucks yeah it's it's very reasonable in comparison yeah they're 500 bucks 500 bucks but the apple one is four grand and by the way it depends on the gigabyte you get
00:58:35
that's four grand for the 512 that's where it starts right and what can you do watch movies I me what anything it's
00:58:41
fully immersive you can be watching something but it's also what do you call it you can see what's going on outside
00:58:47
of the glasses while also being in what is that called um what is it augmented augmented reality right so it looks like
00:58:53
that you see that guy he's looking at his office but he's also has screens in front of his face so if I'm I'm watching watching that right and I'm laying in my
00:58:59
bed yeah I could watch a movie yeah and is it and you can also see what's going on in your house look at that just like that like apps pop up in the air but let me see what it looks like when you have a movie well go on that's what he just
00:59:10
right the first picture first picture right there is that that's it oh so you oh you see your room then yes yes wow
00:59:17
okay aming and you can move that screen to wherever you want you can also have multiple screens up at once um oh you can do that look at that fully immersive
00:59:24
immersive wow you can also enter the mode where it is completely surrounding you where you don't see the room
00:59:30
incredible I'm going to should should we get one it sounds like we're doing a plug for right now s let's get can we get one for the show no I want to buy
00:59:37
one should I buy one you should buy one yes did you buy one no I don't want to buy one can you wear it while you drive
00:59:42
shut the [ __ ] up I've seen people shut the [ __ ] up they're finging people you know what
00:59:48
Creek I that's definitely illegal to to drive with this 100% but it will be the future we will be able to do that you're
00:59:54
going to get in a car they're going to make you put that on self-driving right so you don't touch the wheel so you're
00:59:59
doing something else what is it now what uh what are they're all sold out do you just go to the app you can get them
01:00:05
still yeah let's go to the store and go get one Bob yeah okay I'm GNA buy one I mean they they look fun I just think
01:00:11
they're you look cool in it crazy expensive yeah I I can get one well seriously though how many people are buy
01:00:16
buying this how many people can afford this not a lot it's extremely it's expensive it's a decadent you think
01:00:22
it'll go down yes well if a PlayStation 5 you can't even find so you have to find
01:00:28
them on the Internet and that was 2500 bucks it sold only 200,000 units wow that's not a lot
01:00:35
yeah in a in in a in a country as vast as we have but it with a wealth with a wealth Gap the way that is now too you're talking more and more people cannot afford there's no way it's it's really silly crazy but also you should
01:00:47
go buy one I'm going to buy one yeah you should yeah you can afford it you I've been watching online um on YouTube um
01:00:53
what have you know Court drama yeah and I and and what I if I was guilty I wasn't guilty and I was accused
01:01:05
of something and I get a life sentence I don't know if I'd be stoic when the judge says the verdict I'm going to I'm going to hand it down to you right
01:01:15
now order should should I be Order in the Court what should I be um stoic you should react how you'd react well what did I do what am I accused of doing I'll get to it
01:01:26
oh okay Mr Lee please be quiet uh would the court stenographer uh cre cor please hand me my sheet thank you Creek looking good today
01:01:37
Creek hold hold on hold on I always turn to the family yeah you have to turn to the family and no one's
01:01:44
there mhm sad Mr Lee no no one came Mr Lee Mr Lee Andrew Mr Lee I'm not going to ask again oh sorry yeah pay attention
01:01:55
please okay okay Mr Lee in the county court case 4965 you have been accused of showing your anus in a public forum open anus
01:02:08
how do you plead not guilty you plead not guilty they only do that because we're the courts when you give the
01:02:14
verdict Mr Lee how do you plead to showing your public anus your anus guilty I not guilty your honor we do have this video right here that we can show you of your anus being shown in
01:02:25
public you still plead not guilty not guilty I'm guilty I'm guilty I didn't know you video Mr Lee I've been a judge you have the video for 36 years who gave you the video Carlos I've never seen
01:02:38
something so egregious in my life yeah I'm sentencing you now 45 life 45 to life what
01:02:52
what 4 for what show my but Mr Mr Lee Mr Lee I've changed my mind because of your
01:02:58
emotion because of your emotion I've changed my mind no one's there who the [ __ ] you man
01:03:06
that's the stenographer prore yeah that's Creek Lee because of your emotion oh you'll go no I'll go to prison okay you me suck your I'll suck your dick
01:03:18
okay in prison I will you're going to get more time by doing it don't suck the judge did he say dick or dick he said
01:03:24
dick thank you thank you Creek good reaction really that was really good I would have given you less time really yeah yeah cut in half for sure well they don't do the guilty thing
01:03:36
then they do it the trial and then so now it's just that you saw the one guy that jumped and almost tried to beat the
01:03:41
[ __ ] out of the judge oh oh yeah SED him and he jumped over the desk oh yeah or the guy his lawyer he's handcuffed but
01:03:48
he does a elbow attack yeah to hit him in the in yeah yeah and he gets him God it's so good what would you do well am I
01:03:55
cuffed oh yeah oh you headbutt him yeah you know how you know how some where's the head you know sometimes no don't do that don't hurt that thing why
01:04:06
cuz it's going to break he's my lawyer all right all right here we go my lawyer right here hope you hurt
01:04:13
yourself I won't well I'm going to do this like this so it's like he's a little head yeah and your lawyer's
01:04:21
whispering to you we're going to go away for a little while it's not going to work out just going to have to me the guilty verdict Mr Lee in the case of 495
01:04:29
648 showing your open butthole in public I find you guilty 45 years to life I knew it was going to [Laughter] break did it crack yeah Bob we can fix
01:04:50
it such a nice gift I know we can fix that can that was real acting yeah the acting was good good he'd be he'd be in
01:04:57
trouble no he'd be fine you'd go to prison I it hurts though yeah it's got to hurt yeah yeah yeah yeah why typing
01:05:03
now oh please stop I can't believe you typed the action yeah yeah my pick that up pick it pick that up that was improv right yeah yeah no that wasn't pick that up pick that up script give give it to
01:05:14
me like uh Bobby give it to me oh oh my God I know it's okay I can't believe you broke that no we can fix it can we yeah
01:05:23
there we go it looks like new you know what's incredible about you the the [ __ ] beautiful artist that made that
01:05:29
will like it more now that it's broken do you know that kind and if I did it they'd be [ __ ] livid it'd be Mone
01:05:36
this is your new job you're going to f get epoxy and glue and all that stuff and you're going to fix that the next
01:05:41
time we do it with epoxy and glue show me that video I want to see that this is this is
01:05:48
this is so true to life how true is this we listen this woman going for a fart walk after dinner is something that's
01:05:54
going to help you age wonderfully and if you follow me you know that my husband and I go up for Fort walks most nights
01:06:01
after dinner so about 60 minutes after we've eaten we put on our weding shoes and off we go now why do we do this well
01:06:07
we eat a lot of fiber so we have gas everybody does and uh yeah you fart when you walk so that's why I named it that but the main reason that we do the fart walks is because uh by walking for as
01:06:21
little as 2 minutes we usually walk for about 10 15 20 but not really quickly it's more of a moderate walk um we are
01:06:27
helping reduce our chances of developing type 2 diabetes pause it wow that's incredible incredible a fart walk is
01:06:34
genius because every time you're with your your girlfriend boyfriend husband wife you eat dinner and then you sit
01:06:39
around the house and you're and you're holding it in I don't well you're not yeah yeah yeah but if you're trying to
01:06:44
like hook up that night and you're trying to have a sexy night together you should take a fart walk yeah I highly recommend a fart walk you know we do
01:06:51
this we take fart walk you I swear to God I cut my huh is that Susan sandon no it's not I cut my farts what do you mean you cut your farts oh it's unless is the but
01:07:03
hole right oh oh you slowly let it slide no no God damn it man yes but let me finish I don't that's I'm going to use this that's too big of a butthole let's just say this is the butthole no that
01:07:17
looks right right this is the butthole right what I do is I cup it like this but with with my fingers here I spread
01:07:23
open the cheeks a little bit oh oh what's so funny Carlos likes it yeah I spread open the cheeks so it doesn't make a sound right so so it goes in My Cup right and then what I do
01:07:35
is I cup it and you can take you can get 40% of the smell in your hand that's a number scientifically yeah I I've
01:07:42
experimented right where do you put it what and you go hey Charlie or oh you wave it out to the sky yeah yeah you
01:07:48
wave it hey Frankie whatever even if there was no one's there you just wave yeah nobody hey yeah yeah yeah okay you
01:07:56
don't cup your farts I do not okay grab them yeah yeah grab them it's a gas yeah
01:08:02
I got to say this I think healthy couples should be able to fart in front of each other you and Kila farted on
01:08:07
each other yeah that was kind of part of your tradition MH you've never farted in front of your wife of course I have what are you talking about oh but you
01:08:13
remember you were mad at me yeah when you farted on my wife yeah I was very mad I didn't see a man to get
01:08:20
so mad I was very upset that was a line cross yeah you get really defensive around her when you fart on her yeah no you can't fart on someone's wife that's
01:08:32
it's not even just that pal i w i don't even sneeze it's not even just wife I don't even sneeze here's another thing
01:08:38
he does dude yeah right the coffee incident in Austin what happened in the coffee do you remember what happened you called me go you want coffee I go yeah I walked downstairs I had just woken up
01:08:49
right and you guys you and your wife are sitting there and I walk up to your wife and I go
01:08:57
as if where's my coffee and you go and you go hey you go hey man back up dude sit there dude [ __ ] don't talk to my wife like that that's right why cuz I did this what the [ __ ] is that you don't
01:09:08
walk up to someone and go yes you do when you want coffee yeah at a coffee shop no we were in the hotel lobby no he was saying this to my wife in the hotel lobby okay you weren't in the coffee shop anymore Bobby that's right imagine
01:09:21
imagine if you said that to your wife fancy walked up to her like this like she's a [ __ ] like she works for you
01:09:27
you don't ever do that so yes I made you go sit down and you went and sat down I said sit down don't do that ever again
01:09:33
sit down yeah but see that you don't talk to me like that yes I do and I did and I will and you did you went and sat
01:09:38
down didn't you I don't know why you did I know but I did when you talk to me like that I don't know why I do I I feel
01:09:44
you know what I blush a little bit it rude and I get a little angry too but your coffee was on the way so just sit down don't you demand it it's gotten by
01:09:51
the way I asked you I said can I get you something oh that's right that's what you did right well that's okay and I
01:09:57
want to say this and shout out to [ __ ] shout out to the way that you and I eat these days we went to Three Forks we ordered
01:10:05
the menu oh my God and I'm saying and those boys you know you flip me I remember when we first started touring I
01:10:12
said Bob you don't need to get all that all those appetizers I know you do it now too you know why why can I say you
01:10:17
understand can I say it on here good I love it because you touched a piece of my heart and I'm going to tell the fans
01:10:24
Bingo I'm going to tell tell the fans Bobby came up to me one night we were walking and in all seriousness he said
01:10:31
hey you have your thing you can go have a drink with someone and go hang out but
01:10:36
all I have is food you doing that's all I've got are you doing right now got him
01:10:42
back no he's not back please don't say he's back is that Carmine you know exactly what we talking about right now so what I Love You So yeah so now
01:10:57
what I what he did no you got serious with at and you're not letting me be serious you're being serious oh you're
01:11:02
being you were being serious and you said go I'm an addict this is all I have you got to let me have this and you were very serious you got emotional and I said you know what you're right why
01:11:13
would I keep you from enjoying something like this so next couple of times we went out including in the perpetuity we
01:11:19
order anything you want anything you want as much as you want I even say to you hello you want be
01:11:27
on to be on to you want a [ __ ] thank you for being a best friend thanks for being a best friend is that good very
01:11:35
[Music] good [Music] wo f