00:00:00
you two are bad friends who are these two idiots white dude i'm an asian dude you two
00:00:07
are disgusting well you two or something we're bad
00:00:14
friends [Music]
00:00:28
you're my friend be very bad
00:00:37
probably the best friend [Music] you look like
00:00:44
muppet you look like godzilla's pre-cum
00:00:54
steepy weepy is
00:01:05
[Music]
00:01:11
you got a baby you got a baby
00:01:18
and you got a lady [Music] and she's gone she's
00:01:26
in vegas all the guys are hitting on her right now
00:01:33
[Music] he's jerking off on her chest
00:01:40
jerking off on her chest brendan chubb wants to [ __ ] her too
00:01:47
brendan shaw was all night long
00:01:59
he's got a very very big muscular penis he wants to incident her insert inside
00:02:06
her filipino flower his dick has deltoids
00:02:14
bad friends bad friends [Music]
00:02:20
fancier you gonna sing a lyric using the next
00:02:26
four next do you see the next using the next chunk go ahead they can't hear you do
00:02:32
something yeah take mask off but what do you think the basket
00:02:42
[Music] my friend andrew yeah he is a ginger
00:02:49
yeah yeah colder than winter yeah yes
00:02:55
bad friends my brother bobby brother bobby
00:03:02
he has a tummy he has a tummy bad friends bad friends
00:03:10
bad friends bad friend last name santino
00:03:19
has red pews downstairs
00:03:24
downstairs he has freckles too bobby has gang green on his feet
00:03:34
it smells like diarrhea
00:03:39
and fungus don't talk about my feet okay
00:03:47
his feet are so gross bad friends jeremiah talk about my bad friends
00:03:55
don't talk about jeremiah's next
00:04:01
[Music]
00:04:07
we did it welcome jules good to see you hi okay good what's up andrew
00:04:14
no no yeah let's start okay let's not do that okay all right you know let's see it's good to see i
00:04:19
love you and my family and i love you the most take the wig off you play jeremiah now um why don't we
00:04:25
start off um with a little prayer oh yeah i brought a knife oh you still want to do the video oh
00:04:31
just for one more minute yeah yeah okay go let's start with the
00:04:36
prayer okay uh dear heavenly father thank thank you for uh blessing us today
00:04:45
and uh allowing me to see my brother i am going to get vaccinated soon are
00:04:51
you really gonna yeah i am i know you know yeah my friend my friend eric is working on it as we
00:04:57
speak we're waiting clinic wait eric eric works at a clinic
00:05:02
he knows someone at a clinic right you but you could just anyway okay so this is my prayer though
00:05:09
yeah all right prayer this is my prayer yours thank you um thank you for allowing jeremiah to be
00:05:14
here today rudy thank you bobby thank you for like allowing us to start caesar bros
00:05:21
podcast together yeah uh and thank you for our health and that we're allowed to podcast
00:05:27
during the these times these times thank you for allowing us to have food in our systems
00:05:32
every day yeah in our bodies yeah we need and thank you for the sun light
00:05:40
whoa that you know a lot of people don't ever think the sun oh yeah yeah yeah without the sun what
00:05:46
happens you die maybe you will okay yeah yeah
00:05:51
and then do the closer we say this in your name let's do our god how do you do what's
00:05:58
the song how does it go our god is an awesome god he runs from heaven above all right right okay
00:06:17
yeah i love it i love it because do you still believe in jesus no whatever what happened because you
00:06:24
were so devout oh i got brainwashed oh yeah okay good yeah that allowed me
00:06:29
not to get girls in high school you already know yeah yeah yeah yeah you probably do you jerk off still
00:06:34
every night you know what i was i was standing for months you know that yeah i know you were doing good
00:06:40
for like two three months you were doing good i followed it brother
00:06:45
whatever in a major i just got you know yeah yeah yeah but dude like you because i've done
00:06:50
that i think i've lasted myself about 27 days it's difficult i was doing
00:06:57
meetings and everything oh you were oh yeah yeah zoom meetings all that yeah knows the baby jeremiah how is it
00:07:05
is it a boy or girl it's a boy so happy yeah and so excited yeah what's the boy's call i texted
00:07:10
bobby and he didn't respond his name is wilder what that's a great name like gene wilder yeah like wilder
00:07:16
watkins wilder watkins that's a great name wilder j watkins yeah strong wow did you
00:07:22
did you have an argument with your girl about that no we came up with it together oh she was like who said it first though
00:07:28
she did she brought up we were watching a gene wilder move and she goes what about wilder i go i love that's great yeah i love how that
00:07:34
happens yeah yeah yeah because i'm glad you it's not like you know the standard like call it
00:07:40
jeremiah because you're first born right and that's gonna oh you don't jeremiah jr no yes have you
00:07:47
been at the comedy stores or any uh no it just opened up on fridays and i went
00:07:52
last night and saturday it was just weird it was good to be back just i didn't perform i just went to hang out
00:07:58
what was the capacity there like how many people were in the probably about in the main room probably about 75 80
00:08:04
people okay yeah yeah that's yeah for the main room but they were still like scattered but it was good to see everybody i saw
00:08:10
you know the whole gang yeah you know bill burr was there a bunch of people and then last night i went to
00:08:16
you know brian monarch show down in hollywood have you been to that one supernova yeah i've done it a couple times it's great
00:08:22
i mean it looks amazing it's an amazing show i went there with spade and um tim dillon yeah and um it was just
00:08:29
i just needed to go just to get my juices flowing i'm scared of it okay i've done it in a while yeah i'm
00:08:36
scared of it are you rusty yeah i'm rusty you are i don't know what i'm you know i'm scared to do it
00:08:42
you're scared to do it so it's like your open mic again yeah i i feel like it no well settle
00:08:48
down i'm sorry
00:09:00
i feel like i see all the time because we play warzone together every night yeah but it's not the same i know
00:09:06
because you get annoyed by me when we play warzone you just i feel like you're not having fun anymore
00:09:12
you're doing cold war [ __ ] i'm not having fun with you you're not you're not enjoying resurgence
00:09:17
you know you know i know i'll take well
00:09:23
just listen to what you're saying what okay listen to what you're saying okay and then put your age into it
00:09:32
oh yeah yeah yeah so i'm 50 and we're talking about you know what i mean you're not funny oh i know i'm a man child yeah i know but
00:09:39
it's like that i think that's a part of it yeah because when you and i you me and and dylan
00:09:45
chemical engineering chemical engineering and then when whenever we drop into chemical engineer you get really excited
00:09:52
like a little baby yeah because i like going i have like a yeah great you know what i mean i have a routine what am i you know you have my
00:09:57
routine yeah you know what door to go i know what chest is there yeah yeah i'll get my frog it makes me
00:10:02
want to vomit all right then then we don't we could play no i want to put no okay i've tried to play with steve
00:10:08
recently yeah what happened no because we have a full squad he's like i already have trios yeah he's like i'm already yeah
00:10:20
exactly yeah but um are you really going to get vaccinated be honest because when i called you you're like um no i
00:10:27
don't know i've actually don't i i'm going to i'm just lazy about it
00:10:32
i'm going to take him yeah i just sang because you do you said to me on the phone i
00:10:37
just want to dude i'm not an anti-virus i'm not i'm not saying i'm just saying i'm going to get it i just said that
00:10:43
you've gone back to because well i don't know what it does to the body that's what you said so you know i've
00:10:50
been on youtube i don't know no no no no i don't know what it does at the bottom
00:10:56
no no no no the reptilian shit's different the reptilian [ __ ] yeah it's different
00:11:01
i'm going to get vaccinations so you don't need the republican alien racist no no no no i want to see mom yeah come on
00:11:08
oh you do yeah okay i text her every day i do too every day she texts you first
00:11:14
right absolutely she does these long oh i love it inspirational inspirational questions it's weird does
00:11:19
she send you emojis or bitmojis over no quotes inspiration she does like she'll have like it'll be like
00:11:26
um a photograph of a butterfly yeah and i'll say you know today is the only day that we
00:11:32
have live in the moment and they'll be using this butterfly yeah i love it and then i don't know what the
00:11:38
textbook so i'm like i never heard that before [Laughter]
00:11:44
heart emoji what heart emoji you send a heart emoji all every day
00:11:50
that's all you put you don't believe i say i i do three or four i go i love you mom one day yeah i love you where's your
00:11:57
phone i'm i'm going to read you what i've let's see if they're similar okay no i didn't say the same stuff yeah yeah yeah i'm because i'm very similar
00:12:03
on mine too so let's do this right so i'm gonna where's my mom where's mom mom
00:12:09
okay so so here here's mine right and these are like yours all right so
00:12:16
so she goes um well i'll you read three or four i'll read three or four just you wanna do responses here's my
00:12:23
response okay three or four good night and dream beautiful dreams no read hers first or i'll start to give
00:12:29
context all right yeah yeah don't okay okay sorry you are here for a reason there's nothing accidental about
00:12:35
you there's a specific purpose assignment and mission on earth that only you can fulfill never doubt
00:12:42
your specialness then i go good night and three beautiful dreams
00:12:48
that's better than mine what is at okay at cigna pharmacy i picked up some medication and on the
00:12:55
way home i stopped at albertson's and got some groceries yeah good night
00:13:00
exclamation point wishing you a peaceful night's rest that's your response
00:13:06
no and then my response is you too oma
00:13:11
all right all right all right i'll give you the one okay so this is my mother's mom she does a dr seuss okay
00:13:16
she goes why fit in when you were born to stand out dr seuss then she says stay safe and healthy good
00:13:23
night and sweet dreams love you and then my response is that's a good quote mom
00:13:29
hope everything is okay ask if you need something you're doing way better than me come
00:13:35
come here give me um time to go to bed stay safe and take care
00:13:40
good night and sleep tight love you in my response night mom
00:13:56
we'll wrap it up i'll do one more i'll just do one more i'll wrap it up all right 93 degrees this is what she says 93
00:14:03
degrees right now i think the summer is around the corner good night and sleep tight hope you're feeling good miss you so
00:14:08
much i love you with all my heart you're killing me yeah go ahead um
00:14:14
it's windy outside but the temperature is perfect today take care and stay safe good night and
00:14:21
sleep tight love you what's your response love you omar
00:14:34
but i left a heart emoji yeah but that's i did a repeat yeah you did a reason you know what you're right i need to do more
00:14:40
thoughtful here you know you know what it is i want to do repeats too can i be honest yeah since dad passed
00:14:45
yeah it's been tough you know like because i don't know how to communicate like
00:14:51
i don't know how to explain this but i i think i just subconsciously keep it brief like
00:14:57
so oh you're trying to detach does it say when she dies no no no no nothing like that i think it's
00:15:02
just because i don't i don't know what to say like i you know your responses are way more thoughtful
00:15:08
no it's i'm i'm sitting there i spent 45 minutes on it oh you do yeah oh no no mine's the
00:15:14
opposite i just go oh no no i just kind of stare and i go what do i say yeah right and sometimes
00:15:19
i'll rewrite it yeah yeah yeah because i don't want to i've wanted to do that heart emojis or just i love you but i
00:15:26
don't i want her to think that like you know i'm thinking about it a little bit you know yeah you know but do you talk to her
00:15:32
i talked to her two weeks ago yeah do you yeah yeah oh yeah yeah what did you talk
00:15:37
about well just what she did where she went and what she's watching
00:15:43
and and all that yeah your mom texted me too go ahead jeremy she said at the end of
00:15:49
hardship comes happiness and it's a picture of a yak
00:15:55
and then it says is steve vaccinated yet [Laughter]
00:16:01
yeah yeah i knew yeah i'm sorry i love you i love you what's that oh yeah
00:16:09
did you see any movies um what's that demon movie you told me to
00:16:16
see the taiwanese one you already saw it that was scary let the devil you okay
00:16:22
uh i saw uh justice league i know but it's the only thing um you know chris
00:16:29
stockman our our favorite reviewer he reviewed a movie called the empty man have you seen that
00:16:35
jeremiah no it's it okay so there's a okay if the movie in itself is okay
00:16:41
but there's one scene in the empty man i want you to see the movie because there's one scene that's so
00:16:47
weird and creepy is it a horror flick it's a horror film yeah well like the empty man what do you think about i don't know that's philosophy
00:16:53
psychological thriller yeah or maybe yeah yeah yeah but it's a horror movie but there's this one scene
00:16:58
that's so scary but i want you to see the movie and then you'll call me i can't believe you're here right i can't believe i'm like i know you too
00:17:05
you love yourself of course i love you i love your brothers you know i haven't seen you in a while
00:17:11
why would you ask something like that i haven't seen you in a while what do you get angry about i'm just getting emotional
00:17:18
this is beautiful idiot yeah i know it's weird huh it's like um i haven't seen what's the last time i saw you the last
00:17:23
time we met months it's been months let me ask you something yeah go ahead have you seen
00:17:28
what me and this guy's doing we're gonna promote your podcast no no no no i just know just in passing just
00:17:34
in passing like just a general response do you like it
00:17:39
oh i'll tell you something i wasn't gonna say this but i'm gonna say something to you last night i was at the nova whatever
00:17:47
is that what it's called at that place yeah spade and these these two girls came up to me and they
00:17:54
were like you look at me too okay so all right respect
00:17:59
and these two girls came up to me and go oh my god what type of tiger family fans and i go cool and they watch bad friends
00:18:06
and they were actually there to see tim dillon so i go um oh you like tim too
00:18:11
yeah can i take pho we take photos i go yeah and then they pulled me aside and they go we're really hooked on scissor brothers
00:18:19
and i go what he's like yeah he goes we think that that guy that has legs
00:18:25
yeah you're lying i am oh were you wait what
00:18:32
you like the whole thing you hooked us i lied i did
00:18:39
mommy we believed
00:18:46
i'll be honest with you i'll be honest with you obviously dude what you just dude hurt me to the
00:18:52
freaking corner i know it was fun though it hurt me or what you just did i know but could i
00:18:58
why did you do that can i just say this though wow this was what you were warning me about steve what that hurt me
00:19:05
so i'm sorry just take it no pain is just running through my veins
00:19:11
my friend are you angry oh just so sad guess what this guess what though so sad guess what though what after this
00:19:18
if you guys want i'll take it to dinner really yeah you know what since you did this
00:19:25
yeah i'm going to flip it on have you seen our challenges yeah i saw your challenges i saw the one that was really funny that
00:19:32
when you guys were ate the i don't know what hot thing that you ate hot sauce there's a hot sauce
00:19:37
what kind of hot sauce was it oh dude it is this you got it from the farmer's market yeah it's called the hottest freaking hot the hot hottest
00:19:44
[ __ ] hot sauce right and it made me i told you i called you about that i made me laugh so hard
00:19:49
because what was that last thing that you said when it was you said you know it's not affecting me
00:19:55
yeah yeah yeah great yeah yeah i feel really good i feel real good i'll do boogers yeah it was really funny and then when
00:20:01
you put the stuff on your dick we did a ben really good oh well we have it i want we have a challenge today
00:20:08
for you can we do it if it hurts we'll do it at the end so that like i can no it'd be good to do
00:20:14
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00:22:56
tiger tiger bomb and then where did with the tiger bomb what do you put ask me again i i why
00:23:03
okay where do you put the toggle tiger ball our nuts okay so uh
00:23:10
we're it's one for all every man for himself so we're brothers we're brothers but i haven't won a
00:23:16
challenge so it's every man okay you put this let me just let me let me ask the rules this is
00:23:23
going to be great no let me ask the rules let me ask the rules yeah so you see me put the stuff on my nuts
00:23:30
yeah we're gonna uh so uh we can't do it on camera but i just need to know it's oh they'll censor it later we just stand up and
00:23:36
possibly look at it yeah yeah so you have to um with your left hand
00:23:41
grab it like a tennis racket [Laughter] evenly hold up dude you made me do the
00:23:49
bend game when i was a kid i know i made you you owe me but you can i grab my nuts the way i want to grab
00:23:54
that you can grab the weight but yeah yeah you have to nicely coat it easy it can be a racquetball racket a badminton ring i was thinking more
00:24:00
ping-pong yeah yeah we're all gonna do it together but you're not going to put it on my
00:24:06
no of course not every man every man for himself you put it on my
00:24:11
sack what the [ __ ] yeah that's not sanitary yeah yeah you put it on my sack
00:24:16
you want to get covered what if i have copies yeah i'm vaccinated but dude i might have some other [ __ ] no
00:24:22
you don't want that you're putting it on no i'm not i'm not putting this on your nut sack why that's [ __ ] dude that's not sanitary
00:24:30
jeremy just lost the challenge wait what i have to do it come on you're my scissor bro
00:24:38
come on you be a friend you're backed right jared yes yeah you put on my nut sack you're
00:24:43
vast that's
00:24:59
i've been in prison longer yeah let's look at comedy let's just let me let's look at comedy like a
00:25:04
prison okay i was i've been in prison longer so i know the ropes you know i mean i have some power in prison right
00:25:11
and you're a new inmate we don't [ __ ] each other the first year i [ __ ] you
00:25:18
jeremiah you're my brother dude you gotta do it you gotta do it you're vaccinated why won't you do it
00:25:23
but he's vaccinating i know what nobody is gay you think he's gay no no i don't no it's just it's just i'm
00:25:29
not he's more suitable i'll make you a deal i'll do it right
00:25:35
what if he gets a nut and i get a nut okay that's fine we'll spread it that's all right you get one okay i'll get one
00:25:42
nut you get and then i get one all right that's the thing dude that's respect bro that's you complete respect you get the best of
00:25:47
because it'll be good it's great content man it's great so so what are the rules i
00:25:53
you put it on my nutsack and then we continue and we put it on ours too and then we continue to podcast
00:25:59
no but the thing is whoever wipes it off how do you wipe it uh george do you have
00:26:05
baby wipes [Laughter] so george what i need from you uh take a
00:26:12
couple paper paper towels i'll go to the sink uh dab the towels with some cold water
00:26:19
okay okay help me with this and then uh have them ready the first person have them ready on the table who wipes them the first
00:26:26
person it might be quick who loses i'm going to want to win i'm going to want to win i know but no
00:26:33
okay so you get enough first you put it on first but jeremiah you have to be you have to get a nut put it on a nut okay okay but you guys
00:26:40
put it on yourselves first and then put it on me no but no we have to do it we have to kind of do it simultaneously this is a love
00:26:46
triangle yeah it's a love choice all right so we're all going to put our nut sacks out yes and then
00:26:52
i'll stick so you'll stick it on one and i'll just put it on the other yeah but then you'll put if you don't
00:26:57
put it on yours though oh dude i if you don't put it if you double my sack if you double my sack and then you
00:27:05
guys don't put it on yours we're shutting this thing down oh and i know there's a problem i know
00:27:10
i know there's a problem i'm gonna be like that i'm gonna go like like i'll be i'm gonna watch i'm gonna see you do the whole thing oh yeah yeah oh
00:27:16
absolutely no you know what you know how about that you do half a sack right and then i want to see you do the whole thing and then because i
00:27:23
did you gotta be uh all right let's just do it this is this is gonna be a disaster dude this is gonna be a disaster get it right
00:27:30
you're not doing my day
00:27:46
go first [Music]
00:27:55
i don't feel anything i don't feel anything do you feel anything god damn it
00:28:03
i don't feel anything well we might have to change it then no no we're not changing no no no
00:28:08
no we do i don't feel anything i know that's why we have to change it wait wait you don't come up no wait oh no wait
00:28:13
wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait i feel so i feel something i feel something i feel something i definitely feel something yeah i feel something now
00:28:19
i definitely i feel it isn't it fun though it's not fun it's not fun steve
00:28:26
it's really it's not fun it's not fun do you guys give up no i don't give up
00:28:31
i'm not giving up let's continue okay yeah yeah i'll continue oh
00:28:36
that's cool what it's a cool like a cold wind yeah it's like um my
00:28:44
balls got in a fight with sub-zero mine feels like a microwave i don't know what you guys are
00:28:49
burning and freezing at the same time yeah it burns and freezes yeah so anyway let's continue
00:28:56
so the baby is it hold on okay so the baby
00:29:03
no hold on is the baby cry at night yeah yeah yeah it does it does yeah
00:29:12
you guys can't handle it i i can handle it we might be good no we have to raise it up a couple notches
00:29:18
though because it it i feel it but i think we'd feel it more in our butt
00:29:24
i'm not putting it in my butt come on dude we already get on my sash this is great content i'm telling you this is great
00:29:32
man people would love this to see this i don't understand how you're not
00:29:37
feeling it i don't understand
00:29:44
yeah yeah it feels good steve it's getting hot in here dude yeah it's so bad it is how about your
00:29:50
baby and yeah about this no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no stop stop don't don't don't
00:29:55
no let's just let's think about this no i want we'll raise it up are you getting hot
00:30:00
oh yeah so no so jeremiah jeremiah let's just do this okay
00:30:11
well it's just you know promotion promotion baby you know we need help
00:30:17
jeremiah let's just do this pretend you're in an acting scene okay right this is this podcast is a film okay right
00:30:24
steven spielberg is directing and you cannot you know let anyone know no what you're
00:30:29
doing right now yeah to try to no you're not i can still see that you're suffering so right now if they if people tuned in
00:30:36
right now to the podcast they would see the lee brothers as if nothing happened but they they would look at you and they'd be
00:30:42
like oh my god that guy's i'm going through something i'm perfectly normal okay so um
00:30:48
you want me to do an acting scene no just just just pretend it's not happening so your baby
00:31:00
no sure you guys this is not strong we got to do something
00:31:16
next then the butthole how we did the bengay we got to do the whole the thing you
00:31:23
know or else we're just half-assed doing it so
00:31:29
so go back in the corner guys come on please please
00:31:38
but no [ __ ] no but if penis no no [ __ ] i won't do my [ __ ] okay
00:31:45
all right okay but we'll do we have to do our oh we can't touch we're not going to take it
00:31:50
i have to see you do it first and you go
00:31:58
forward
00:32:04
so anyway so the baby is is your baby a crier does it cry at night yeah occasionally
00:32:11
but are you are you staying up like who who's in charge of staying up who's in charge of staying up
00:32:18
is it you and your wife you have to share duties it's mainly my wife because i've been busy editing the scissor brothers
00:32:23
podcast oh yeah yeah and then i like i had a gig in uh uh
00:32:28
ventura last night so she watched the baby while i was i was gone doing shows oh cool man yeah yeah man
00:32:37
you can't think your brain is frozen i know i wouldn't drive you i'm a
00:32:43
perfectionist i'm a professional the fear has stopped i'm a professional
00:32:49
i'm afraid yeah so for me you know i'm going
00:32:54
hurts does your penis hurt now yes it doesn't get better yeah so what
00:33:00
i'm saying to you is what i'm saying is i'm going stop let's be serious yeah yeah you know
00:33:08
let's start over and i want people to feel sweet i want people right now let's start over
00:33:15
i'm going to start the podcast over and let's make people pretend that we didn't do it okay
00:33:21
all right so here we go right five four three we're bad friends hey welcome to another
00:33:27
episode of reference and we've got uh my brother steve haven't seen you in once
00:33:32
yeah yeah and we've got um jules there jules is there yeah yeah hi hi
00:33:39
yeah yeah hi hello jules welcome back i mean well hello um anyway so you haven't seen you in so
00:33:45
long it's good seeing you yeah yeah real good seeing you you wanna do a prayer oh yeah yeah do it right uh dear lord uh thank you for allowing
00:33:53
us to meet today and uh congregate and uh thank you for such a beautiful day
00:33:59
um thank you for a food that we eat every day and uh just allowing all these great
00:34:05
opportunities that you're that you're providing we say this in
00:34:13
your name lord
00:34:19
let's amen her thank you it's a really good prayer when does it go away it won't what do you mean it won't yeah
00:34:25
it won't go away so um i'm going to
00:34:30
i'm going to out of town i'm going out of town yeah you have some
00:34:36
show dates yeah no i'm going to do shoot a movie in hungary oh that's next week yeah yeah that's right are you oh so what's your role like can
00:34:43
you tell us about your i want to talk about the role but i don't want to talk about that did you have to audition for it yes i did have to audition for answers
00:34:49
are you crying yeah look at this you okay no okay let's keep going no i'm
00:34:55
not gonna give up do you give up no i don't give up so i'm going away you know and it's funny because um i was
00:35:02
in oklahoma well last week so i've been kind of going out and i've been going out um into town and eating dinner with
00:35:10
friends it's been good i feel like everything's coming back you said you had some good barbecue in oklahoma yeah you did what's your favorite kind of
00:35:17
barbecue yeah it wasn't barbecue that i ate i ate at steak houses steakhouses yeah what i do is yeah
00:35:22
anyway i uh what you know what happened was you know what i did um you know those scooters the birds
00:35:30
yeah i did that this is not enough guys you guys you cut the act really you know what we
00:35:37
have to do buttholes yeah we have to steve we have
00:35:42
this left eyeball we have to do it steve steve what we're not doing our product
00:35:50
we have to steve it's this trifecta steve's suit boom boom boom right here i might back me up dude scissor brother we gotta do
00:35:59
[Laughter]
00:36:05
what does it entail you have to really swirl in your tonkomok inside the hole
00:36:11
yeah inside the butthole inside
00:36:17
yeah we have to right yeah we have to do it dude it's great content trust me
00:36:24
trust great content great but let me ask you this can i ask
00:36:30
you this what isn't it fun though it's not fun it's absolutely not fun okay okay i came
00:36:36
here i think i have all these ideas of how we're gonna do the it's not it's all off the window what do you mean you can't think no so
00:36:43
let me ask you this my friend what let me ask you this yeah um
00:36:48
so you said the sack first we did it right i guess the pain wasn't
00:36:54
you know i mean that great for you yeah so then you went let's try penis right we did the penis okay that was
00:37:02
worse right it feels bad now yeah it does real bad okay now what makes you think the
00:37:08
[ __ ] is gonna have you tried it on your ass yeah it's it's it's gonna be tightened like it's gonna be heightened because it's
00:37:14
more um it's just more of a sensitive area yeah it's a sensitive area the penis head is
00:37:19
not more sensitive than the [ __ ] well let's find out let's find out i don't right jeremiah
00:37:46
[Laughter] hurry up hurry up you guys are stalling hurry up
00:37:52
hurry up
00:37:58
dude go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go you guys are stalling go guys are
00:38:04
stalling you guys are stalling back away i don't want you around here i want to make sure you do it you can
00:38:09
see me
00:38:20
oh you guys are stalling please i'm going okay okay okay okay all right okay go back to
00:38:26
the seat
00:38:34
did you do it so i think so i think he did now we're good can i say something
00:38:42
you're right
00:38:50
steve you're absolutely correct
00:38:55
it is more sensitive than the penis it's unusual
00:39:03
you discover you discover things every day you would not think it's a new level
00:39:08
it's the top it's the top level it's the top yeah wow nirvana it's not nirvana no that's not
00:39:14
nirvana okay it's the polar opposite of nirvana oh yeah it's a here you tell are you yeah how are you feeling man i'm
00:39:20
not even kidding are you guys seeing any black specks right now i do i have always seen black spit down my penis
00:39:26
yeah
00:39:41
[Laughter]
00:39:50
try smiling it's hard okay look at me oh great
00:39:58
welcome to another episode of spit friends i'm bobby andrews out of town right so we
00:40:03
have my brother filling in thanks for watching we got jeremiah watkins we have a new podcast called scissor brothers yeah yeah how's that experience going it's
00:40:10
going pretty good um every week uh we we come up with new challenges uh what else jeremiah we do a lot of
00:40:17
music together we do musical things oh we have a lot of fan mail how did that how did that come about scissor brothers
00:40:24
oh the name comes from steve you're sweating a lot the name comes from steve and i started
00:40:30
trimming each other's pews cubes at jeremiah jeremiah and someone said scissor bros and then somebody said that
00:40:36
we're brothers so it just it just stuck it just stuck um and we had the same pair of scissors
00:40:41
we found out at both of our homes initially when you guys started
00:40:47
how did it start well the show is called good friends for the first episode it was like april
00:40:52
so i was wondering it was a joke yeah but i was wondering where that came from well so it was a play on bad footage it
00:41:00
was a yeah i was a playoff bad friends and uh we we did like but it was a one-off yeah yeah
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00:43:31
[Music]
00:43:37
you know yeah it's an old korean
00:43:44
korean song it's like all korean song that my mom used to sing to us to go to bed
00:43:50
how about this one okay [Music]
00:43:56
[Laughter] [Applause]
00:44:06
yeah i don't know the rest do you know yeah i want to join in so badly i know you're doing it oh my god
00:44:12
so um yeah did you see modal combat yeah i did
00:44:19
oh no no that's outside yeah it's on html yeah so how was it was it pretty good some
00:44:24
people hate it but i thought it was fun you know i thought it was fun i thought it was better than the 95 i thought it
00:44:29
was way way better the first 10 minutes of it was really
00:44:37
dude i'm so sorry i thought it'd be good you know like fun it would mix things up with bad friends because you guys don't
00:44:42
do challenges i thought it'd be a good idea back me up what do you think i thought it was gonna be a good idea too yeah good idea
00:44:49
dude you're crying because anger it's not a sadness i promise you
00:44:55
it's kind of furious i'm furious are you really yeah i'm really upset how do we make it up i'm sorry there's no way to make it
00:45:00
up wait there's no way to make it up no can we still go to dinner after this no absolutely not that's out
00:45:06
why not come on listen listen you don't [ __ ] you don't [ __ ] look up [ __ ] right if i die well i could die too
00:45:13
yeah but what if i died what if i died if i died and you didn't die no i would die what if i died i just had
00:45:18
a son that would be terrible yes that would be terrible but you know what i mean that would be awful but i'm just saying
00:45:25
that what if you guys lived and i died from this stupid [ __ ] prank thing that you did how would you feel i feel horrible we'd
00:45:31
feel like a bad friend i would kill myself probably don't say that no if you died
00:45:36
because of a tiger bomb how funny would that be if she if i died and then you killed yourself how
00:45:41
funny would that be and then mom gets the call yeah ring ring i'm sorry hello uh mrs
00:45:48
lee yes yeah are you the mother of
00:45:53
are you the mother of bobby and steven lee oh yes are they okay i'm sorry ma'am um i have to call tell
00:46:00
you they both passed away what happened no no oh that's not what
00:46:06
you would hear oh this is what you'd hear the phone dropped
00:46:17
that's what you'd hear oh god yeah because of my dumb idea yeah right then she picks it
00:46:25
up right well um your brother steve is that steve your
00:46:31
youngest son yeah right he you know they did they do podcasts i know they do but
00:46:37
right he brought over tiger bomb
00:46:47
told your brother to stick it on his testicles [Music]
00:46:52
keep going his penis yeah and inside his anus
00:47:00
why of course yeah because that's the question why why you know what his response would
00:47:06
be what i don't know
00:47:13
that's what the police officers wants to be all right you guys i don't know and then let's wipe it off guys stop no i'm not
00:47:19
wiping out okay i'd rather die i'd rather die to teach you a lesson no
00:47:24
yeah i'd rather die i don't want that to happen yeah yeah so let me see something this information let me say something right now and then
00:47:30
what happened and then i was feeling horrible and you know oh he felt so guilty
00:47:35
because he bobby died from the poisoning it poisoned his body poison we poisoned
00:47:41
shot himself in the face with a shotgun yeah and then you guys look at the joke what would mom do
00:47:47
oh she would be devastated you would kill herself devastating and there goes our family okay you guys the joke's over let's uh
00:47:55
you guys want to wipe yours off no i refuse you're keeping it up for the rest of the podcast teach you a lesson
00:48:01
can we still go out to eat after this maybe okay i'm hungry
00:48:07
tell me about your dreams steve tell me about your dreams
00:48:14
[Music] do your fingers are weird what are you
00:48:21
talking about they're like they're like um clubbing what are you talking about really yeah your fingers are clubbing like what
00:48:27
like a caveman no no no no no let's talk about it yeah yeah so you know how the nails
00:48:33
you know your arteries and stuff are closing up so now your nails are like like how
00:48:38
which is the guitars for the rolling stones um keith richards you know his fingers are clubbing my fingers are clubbing yeah yeah
00:48:45
how do you could you tell let me look at your fingernails yeah look at your index this one right here this one mine
00:48:50
are clubbing as well but they curl like they start curling that's what you how you know your arteries are like
00:48:56
clogging up and getting tight so it's like stroke is what yeah
00:49:03
now do you do you think about that because it's like i'm i'm i'm on blood pressure medication you are oh
00:49:10
blood thinners no blood pressure medication what so i don't want to get a stroke dad get that
00:49:16
dad got a stroke you know what my brother and i did our grandmother
00:49:21
we went to korea our grandmother had was paralyzed from the neck down and did we ever tell you the story no
00:49:29
and um one day my dad walks in and my grandmother never left one room for like 25 years
00:49:35
she just sat against this wall smiling oh the bee stingers yeah yeah yeah so she's just they're
00:49:41
smiling and one day she's just sitting there smiling and my dad looked at her body and there's all these welts on her body yeah
00:49:49
and and she goes he dad comes into us and goes what how come grandma she'll get all these things on her body
00:49:55
right and my brother and i go we don't know right and then the next
00:50:01
day my dad walks into the room and he catches my brother and i taking these sticks and just
00:50:07
i don't know i don't remember that yeah yeah really yeah hitting here because you can't feel anything so what's the harm i don't
00:50:14
remember that she's just standing there like this because i think she was just happy that we were like paying her and you used her as a
00:50:19
i don't think we did that i don't remember that yeah i remember her getting stung by bee stingers wow
00:50:25
they would give her these uh no we hit her with sticks no i remember bee stingers of us like
00:50:32
maybe they both can be true i don't remember hitting him with the sticks
00:50:37
i think i would remember that i think i think you blocked it out of your mind what yeah we must say there's a lot of things that you blocked out oh yeah
00:50:43
absolutely absolutely i don't remember hitting it you tell i've explained to them um i explained to um
00:50:51
these people on my podcast about when you the fight that you saw me who did i fight when we were kids oh um
00:51:00
derek we talked about we talked about it we did yeah yeah but can i hear your point of view what happened
00:51:06
oh yeah it was the whole talk of the town all the kids knew uh he beat your ass
00:51:12
[Laughter] yeah yeah yeah yeah but do you where did he beat me at my ass um
00:51:18
it was like this grassy knoll a open lot yeah you know attached to martin coyte
00:51:24
more towards the hill yeah yeah and dude the whole school was there yeah the whole whole thing straight out
00:51:29
of the movies yeah they created this whole circle there was it was like a scene in a movie you seen a movie and he was just beating
00:51:35
you that boom beating you down beating you down i'm sorry i know my mom my mom had to
00:51:42
save them your mom she happened to drive she drove by she had just happened to be driving
00:51:47
by and then she saw her son just getting beat the crap yeah and were you ashamed that day yeah but
00:51:53
you know what i don't want to demoralize you know we've talked about this there's a let's talk about a positive when i was
00:51:59
in seventh or eighth grade here we go let's just story about a positive story about you yeah i i i kind of talked about him passing
00:52:06
on the king and the sting okay but i want to do be more depth yeah yeah it was a good time yeah they did yeah i'm
00:52:11
going back into like two a week and a half they betrayed you and then they bought you back in yeah they brought me back in yeah yeah
00:52:17
but anyways so i so can we talk about king of this thing real quick yeah we can yep um so when we played the
00:52:24
prank here where i called nick write the producer by saying that i
00:52:29
didn't cry though i didn't cry what do you mean you said that i cried i didn't cry and then i opened up this whole
00:52:35
thing you're a [ __ ] you cried yeah a lot of
00:52:40
people were a lot of trolls came after steve for crying a lot of people did you cry no you didn't no ask my man
00:52:48
you could ask my i made that up yeah you fabricate it okay now you say sorry yeah yeah you know i'm
00:52:55
sorry i don't think you know the power of your word if you say something words are very powerful if you just my words are very powerful
00:53:02
very powerful can i say this though at the time right when you're talking i know you're glamorizing
00:53:07
i know i don't know glamorous i know but you're kind of you're sprinkling no you're sprinkling it off you're crying i didn't cry though
00:53:14
at all i was upset yeah but when i called nick right yeah because the whole thing is
00:53:19
that when i say he cried because when i called nick yes right so just listen so when i'm calling nick on a prank
00:53:25
right obviously you're going to exaggerate it right i might i was thinking about adding other things you know what i mean
00:53:32
right he like he almost hung himself into the closet yeah but those details come back to me
00:53:39
right and i just i just learned a new lesson i'm telling you so what did people say
00:53:45
what are you a [ __ ] yeah what you know like but crying is a it's a natural human emotion no but
00:53:51
these guys are like trolls they're like oh you can't you [ __ ] cried you [ __ ] blah blah blah
00:53:56
what the hell you cry for yeah stand up for yourself you know i mean like all that stuff yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
00:54:03
you exaggerate dude like because you said that you do exaggerate because you said santino got
00:54:09
a lawyer he was thinking about getting a lawyer to sue steve and i for the the good friends april fools yeah
00:54:14
yeah he had a bunch of trolls hitting him up thinking that was real because you exaggerated it's chaos yeah it's cute you love it you you you i
00:54:20
think you do a part of you like you thrive i don't it makes me feel like [ __ ]
00:54:25
it makes me feel like [ __ ] really yeah do you really really is that an act no it's not an act let me say something right now okay cause your words matter
00:54:32
[Laughter] okay okay okay okay but i'm gonna tell you that it makes me feel
00:54:38
shame just put that down okay sorry it makes me feel shame um it makes me feel bad
00:54:45
um i know there's these you know consequences that happen that aren't you know that aren't in the
00:54:51
forefront of my mind when i'm doing these mischievous you know what i mean verbal yeah you
00:54:56
know yeah on my friends no that's my family right um will i stop no okay that's fine look at me right now
00:55:04
that's fine look at me right now yeah i will not stop okay that's fine okay can i go back to my story when i felt proud of you
00:55:11
i'd love to okay so we're at the poway high school gym and he was wrestling another asian kid
00:55:18
from monte the story i remember that match and so this kid was his nemesis he was
00:55:24
good i think his name was pineapple or something he was from he was a he was from monte vista he was an asian
00:55:29
kid it wasn't an apple we used to know we were racist we were racist he looked he was filipino in a
00:55:36
mustache but he was an asian first asian right but you called them pineapple no that was that was the nickname that
00:55:42
the whole team called them that came from you though oh no i don't think i i don't think he's calling pineapples
00:55:49
with his words again i'm putting my first it didn't come from me ladies and gentlemen again he's exaggerating
00:55:57
you fabricated he would scare you on a comment saying the story let's stick with the
00:56:02
positivity i want to get to where i felt proud of you okay okay just let him say he's probably
00:56:08
all right it went to overtime against against this guy against this kid from monte vista
00:56:13
this filipino kid from monte vista who was good by the way yeah they both get back into the middle of
00:56:20
the circle and this other kid it was like the scene from you know karate kid one you know
00:56:25
daniel vs johnny this kid did like a whole
00:56:30
um bruce lee like pose and it was like the ending of that
00:56:36
scene and you know what my brother did he blew him a kiss
00:56:42
he went like this he went and then the whistle blew my brother
00:56:50
went down for a double and freaking slammed him on he slammed him he got he he won in
00:56:56
overtime and i was on as a kid on the side of the mat just like so freaking proud like what the [ __ ]
00:57:04
yeah you know what coach brown sitter said what he didn't say anything he did one of those things in movies
00:57:09
like what do you mean i looked at him from do you remember that i do i looked at him far from the gym he looked at me and
00:57:15
guess what he did like this
00:57:20
right he did like a nod like dude that was right and i decided
00:57:26
he likes me you know i remember that feeling um can i just because the jay leno thing
00:57:32
was cool ubook and mad tv was awesome but for me as a as a younger brother i
00:57:38
felt the most proudest at that moment
00:57:44
no because it's like it was like a movie to me i was like it was cinematic man yeah it was literally this match was
00:57:50
literally to the final moment tell you about that perseverance
00:57:55
don't talk about state i'm not gonna okay i'm not gonna okay okay my brother was ranked probably
00:58:03
two in california right of all of california in his weight division
00:58:08
103. he would go to like cif right three years in a row three years
00:58:14
in a while you go to the cia it's like you know like as a kid you know they had the tunnel
00:58:19
you know with the smoke and they would call my brother's name down and my brother would run through this tunnel as if it's like the wwf or
00:58:26
whatever and my brother would like do moves on the mat that like was inspiring to me
00:58:34
like one time a guy stood up my brother had it was yeah he stood up from my brother you know my
00:58:39
brother put his right hand right over his under his shoulder
00:58:45
and took his neck and snapped him back from standing position right and the whole the whole audience
00:58:51
went right you're right and he would do that every year and he
00:58:56
was supposed to win state okay i didn't like i don't know where you're going right now i like that i don't know
00:59:07
and everyone when my brother you know i mean i'm not going to go into state but i'm just saying no just do it if you do it do it if you
00:59:13
do it do it all the way if you do do it all the way go all the way i'll do it all the way so my brother was like in like the
00:59:20
newspaper people would write articles they have a plaque in the in in the um he has a record
00:59:27
still you know i mean in the power high school um wrestling fastest pin fastest pin five seconds
00:59:33
yeah my brother was like he's gonna win the whole thing right because everyone at state was guys
00:59:39
he just manhandled right and then um
00:59:44
i drove it was in stockton so i'm from san diego i drove the mic all the way there yeah in my hug no not
00:59:51
late after this after the story i don't know if i want to want to hug you after the story actually okay
01:00:05
i drove like nine hours yeah or up there no hotel just nine hours and i sat in my seat
01:00:13
my brother's first match and as soon as i saw my brother walk under the mat i almost got back in my [ __ ] car and
01:00:20
drove back you knew i knew there was fear in his eyes
01:00:28
i've never seen yet i mean fear manifest in a body that's what my
01:00:34
alcohol was like it was like this it was like this it was like this frozen frozen here's a guy in every other
01:00:42
tournament with just you know what i mean you know me just eye people right what's up you know what i mean and
01:00:49
then gross i froze his face was like you know like a statue
01:00:54
no like in aliens you remember that little creature comes on the face it was as as if they took the took the creature off
01:01:00
right and he was on the mat blood squirting out of do you even know the depression that i
01:01:06
went through after that i know i'm kept i went deep into depression
01:01:12
yeah suicidal oh you know i feel bad because i should be more supportive
01:01:17
oh thank you thank you yeah you're right yeah i should be more
01:01:22
supportive you know i learned the lesson though i learned a lot what's the lesson you can't let fear dictate
01:01:31
your life and the way you navigate through life
01:01:36
because i because to be honest with you i was my worst enemy you know so like because i've thought of
01:01:43
i've replayed that event in my audience i think about that thing no because you learn lessons from it
01:01:48
what is it okay so the lesson is let's say if i tried my very best and
01:01:54
wasn't fearful and i lost i'd be okay with that it's because
01:02:00
the fear set in and i wasn't at my best that's where i have the problem does that make sense yeah i had a similar
01:02:07
thing happen uh yeah go ahead jeremiah spelling bee
01:02:13
when i went to is this real this is real this is real okay i went to regionals did you really yes i was i was i was
01:02:21
going to go to nationals i had learned every single word in fifth grade
01:02:27
wow i was i i killed it at state we went to texas i'm from kansas then so i
01:02:33
went from kansas to texas and then the next step was nationals wow did you have the little
01:02:39
number thing yes i love that yeah yeah because fear i knew the word
01:02:47
i knew the word and it's the it's the the the first and last time i got legit stage
01:02:52
fright i spelled the word wrong and i knew that i was doing it wrong because i was feared because i wanted out i was so
01:02:58
scared yeah well you purposely said it wrong because of the fear i think or or because the fear said that
01:03:04
you couldn't think straight you knew that knew it i knew it it was the word it was an easy word
01:03:10
it was the people getting lullaby lullaby lullaby yeah do you know how how hard i
01:03:15
kicked myself after i still can't spell that word let me try lullaby okay i'll try it too
01:03:22
l u l u l l a b y
01:03:29
yes that's it that's that's it yeah that's it that's a lullaby yep you couldn't spell that i spelled it
01:03:34
l-u-l yeah and then i i went and froze too a b y and then go i'm sorry and i knew that
01:03:42
i knew i was spelling it wrong oh my gosh were your parents in the audience yes my mom had flown to texas with me
01:03:48
well she's probably uh imagine the shame in the audience i mean all these kids
01:03:54
like around me were like i'm so sorry nailing like like really hard words and i was like okay i know that one i know that one
01:04:00
that was meant to be though because we're scissor brothers now we both we both went through a similar
01:04:06
cut dude i feel close to you dude from the ashes we wrote yeah we have we share that right one one two
01:04:12
come on bob three four five i don't know what this is i've never done this
01:04:18
what's it eight a hundred nine no we're not doing i'm not doing it it's something that we do to collect
01:04:23
yeah yeah so that's interesting um you know i've had a lot of um but you've
01:04:29
have you dealt with that oh i didn't fear oh i'll i'll tell you
01:04:34
tell me so three years ago i don't care because yeah amy poehler is producing
01:04:40
this pilot right and i'm like you know i'm gonna
01:04:45
[ __ ] get it you know so i memorized it from backwards and forwards and i go i'm sitting in the now i'm at i
01:04:52
don't know nbc when i'm sitting there and i i don't even have the script in my hand i just have it like this because i
01:04:58
know it you know i mean it's memorized so and i'm also so cocky about it i'm
01:05:04
like sitting in my chair like this other actors walking what's up
01:05:10
i know i'm going to get it you're going to get it you're good yeah and then the lady goes are you ready
01:05:16
yeah i'm ready about time i walk in
01:05:22
and i didn't know that she was going to be the amy pullers there right she's sitting there and like in my
01:05:28
head i'm like i'm gonna start let's start to start i have it right then she does this bobby
01:05:34
i go hey she goes she introduces me everyone in the room
01:05:40
and as that during that process i'm like i it's all now gone i don't know the first
01:05:47
word oh no yeah so then i start the audition as soon as i say the first word i go
01:05:53
and i go right into the page and i literally put the [ __ ] page in front of my face
01:05:58
and i just read it like that oh my god right and i'm like also the paige is
01:06:03
doing this let's suppose this is the script yeah
01:06:08
this is what they see i'm sorry i'm sorry because i'm i'm so
01:06:14
scared right and i go i go thank you and i try to justify and i go
01:06:19
like this i go i should have memorized it sorry i just cold read it just to justify it and she goes
01:06:26
she out loud she did that yes i swear to god i walked in the hallway and i had this
01:06:32
big long bottle of smart water oh you hit it i hit my head over there yeah i remember that yeah 50 times
01:06:37
remember what you did after you went and i was bleeding down my face he was hitting himself punishing myself
01:06:44
before yeah i'm driving and just banging my
01:06:50
when i got home my face was bleeding because she's like what happened
01:06:55
get in a car accident i just auditioned it's an audition you walked in i booked
01:07:01
it yeah yeah but like you know i i've had so many of those experiences where i
01:07:07
would audition for something okay and i would close no okay just a disaster and i would be in my car
01:07:13
crying in shame over an audition yeah yeah i've had those two and and and no i
01:07:20
learned right now it's different that was years ago maybe five years ago now it's completely different i'm you
01:07:26
know i don't give a [ __ ] now because i um you know i have tiger
01:07:31
belly and i have this you know i mean and this you know and then for some reason now it all that kind of stuff i needed money right that's what it is i
01:07:38
always there's a time where it's like well my desperate it comes through always right i'm like i need to book something
01:07:45
so i can get my career going right and there was years where i wasn't and so then i was like i would punish myself
01:07:51
and then i wa one day i just went you know what i'm just gonna do my own thing which is bad friends and tiger belly and
01:07:56
podcasting and stand-up and that other kind of stuff that i have control over and then the other stuff just came along
01:08:02
with that right but um yeah i know what that shame is like yeah and i think because but the reason
01:08:09
why you beat yourself up over state is because of the trauma that you felt growing up in our house
01:08:16
yeah yeah and you know you have to deal with that trauma oh yeah yeah
01:08:21
absolutely yeah yeah you know when um dad beat you with that little casio
01:08:26
keyboard when completely naked my dad had my brother had a friend over was it was derek's oh yeah the guy that beat me
01:08:32
up's brother was it really a casio like that one yeah but with a little one it was the first sampling keyboard
01:08:37
like the freddy krueger one you could go hey hey hey you know yeah like a second of sampling
01:08:43
time yeah and then my my brother was playing it to him and that was taken during the daytime during the day this time yeah and my dad came
01:08:52
in yeah that's like shut up butt naked completely naked and what do
01:08:58
you have in his ass tiger balm no tissue paper tissue paper like a string like dental floss
01:09:04
like he had a [ __ ] tampon in his ass sticking out of his butthole yeah scared the [ __ ] out of me yeah but that's the only thing i could look like a korean kite yeah
01:09:12
right so he comes in and he goes he takes the casket rips the keyboard out of the socket
01:09:18
right and like a sledgehammer yeah and keep in mind we're on our stomachs just
01:09:24
playing with this thing and they're eight yeah and he just beats me
01:09:29
like a hammer like boom boom i imagine you're your friend his friend oh he never came he never came over
01:09:34
again never came over again that's it yeah my dad did that with the street fighter 2
01:09:40
on super nintendo because he didn't beat us but he he took it to his workbench yeah you
01:09:46
boys are gonna fight he took a sledgehammer yeah ah fight over this
01:09:51
oh my god broke it to pieces brand new video game ah no why why christmas gift
01:09:58
gone did you buy you another one no he one time hid our double07 goldeneye yeah as a
01:10:04
punishment because we were fighting over it again yeah and then he forgot where he hit it
01:10:10
and you never saw it again what if it's still there somewhere like behind a wall
01:10:16
in the house in the house it might be wait do they still still live in the same house
01:10:21
what my my my dad and my my brother and my mom or what no where
01:10:26
he hid that golden eye oh no we don't know we don't live in that house that's like a childhood was that a difficult question i don't know i dude
01:10:33
my butthole is i don't know yeah we're doing okay with that yeah yeah you guys still feel it though
01:10:39
i didn't want to yeah i do i'm just saying like if there's it's more of a like um it's a weird station it's like like a little ice cube
01:10:46
in my butthole yeah it's cooling off it feels still feel like a little ice cube in my butthole does it burn at all a little
01:10:52
bit yeah i think i have blood in my shoulders yeah yeah but it's weird when you ex you experience now would you not let me
01:10:58
ask yourself this though because you have wilder now your kid are you going to do that [ __ ] with him
01:11:04
no you're a great dad you're not going to do any of that are you sure though well you just wait me because they drive you so crazy
01:11:11
that you just resort to certain certain things no i don't think you can i think i'll go more the disappointment
01:11:16
route yeah or time out the time out route yeah where are where the timeout works oh if because when
01:11:22
your parents get disappointed with you that's longer lasting than ah then rage and everything like that yeah
01:11:29
because rage and stuff like that it lingers within the kid too right and it just kind of manifests itself in
01:11:35
weird ways as an adult um maybe that's why you're not going to
01:11:40
have kids huh i want it dude yeah but dude it's like
01:11:46
what time what do you mean time we're getting older i can still have it look at steve martin
01:11:54
yeah he had kids at like 70. how old was he at 70. at 70. oh okay you're good now you see him like
01:11:59
you know what i mean he was a six-year-old kid do you want he's in a walker and he's at the park do you want it
01:12:06
you know i i look at it because you're at the age you know what what is that what's that okay i'm sorry i'm
01:12:12
sorry but you know yeah i'm 50 i'm not even i know but this is a good age that's a great age yeah i'm in it i'm a
01:12:19
good age are you guys going to do it yeah yeah i want to but here's the deal um
01:12:24
you know kalila's dad was 60 when she you know he had her so i just feel like but if i'm going to do it i have to do it now
01:12:31
you should do it now yeah i want to do it now i want to be like because when i'm 70 my kid will be 20 i'll be out of the
01:12:36
house and then maybe i can do you still have sperm that you have like healthy
01:12:43
yeah do you still have sperm bobby it's like not just like dust bubbles just don't just
01:12:56
no if i looked at my comment it was dust bubble yeah i don't even know what that is by the way like sand yeah if it was it was
01:13:03
if there was sand grainy grainy in my [ __ ] i would go to the hospital do you still masturbate yes i do you [ __ ] okay my [ __ ] works it
01:13:11
works good it's a machine like you could still get it you can still get it right yeah dude i'm not [ __ ] you know i know i
01:13:18
haven't talked to you in a long time yeah my dick works i know but you could get hard and everything instantly yeah of course yeah yeah i was
01:13:24
wondering so you do well you're only three years younger i know you have dust bubbles in your dick oh no it's working great
01:13:30
like real good right oh yeah it's beautiful yeah it's beautiful yeah yeah me too yeah you feel have the
01:13:36
same sexual desire oh yeah me too do you still use toys and stuff like
01:13:41
what do you mean well you know the pringles thing you know they call us the pringle boys well it's a little hard when you can
01:13:47
make a like a homemade i know i know it would be yeah yeah yeah yeah it's hard when you are living with
01:13:53
you know i mean a kid i you know have a high schooler in my house yeah rudy yeah so i don't want a
01:13:59
fleshlight laying around the living room yeah you know what i mean so you just old school and also when i masturbate i
01:14:06
can't just masturbate in the bed you know me next to kalila that's weird right i've never done i've never done the watch porn master but you
01:14:12
can't do that so what do you have to go downstairs no i have to do it either um well sometimes i do it
01:14:17
in the garage you do i have done it like where tiger bellies filmed yeah oh where the video game is
01:14:26
so i'll be playing warzone she thinks you're gaming not in the guest seat or anything right no no no no nothing i said that's rude
01:14:33
no i'll be gaming and then i'll just go and i just because i you know i have to quit at a certain
01:14:38
time so i go it's getting almost 1 30. i gotta stop maybe i'll just masturbate real quick you know and
01:14:44
i'll just do it what do you go ahead bank bank what do you mean spank bank or do you look at
01:14:50
something hey look he doesn't want to enter this hall what do you look at what are you
01:14:56
watching i look like what do you look at though bobby i want to know what you're watching
01:15:02
i'm not like i'm not doing because i don't want i want to i don't want to i used to spend so much
01:15:09
money on buying you know memberships see i always question that it's for free
01:15:14
right yeah oh you're specific no it's not about specific sorry it's
01:15:19
about you know the free ones are like four minute videos sometimes they don't 10 minutes 15 sometimes right
01:15:24
but it's not high definition yeah i mean i like all that stuff okay like new you know
01:15:31
no but what else do you like topical porn no i like relevant porn what do you mean
01:15:37
by relevant i think just like go ahead keep keep going i just like ones that are like you know
01:15:43
well like think about it what do you mean just think about what you're about to say though i just want you know
01:15:48
i want you to know what are you talking about i just want you to be you know think about it what i i go on
01:15:56
pornhub okay that's right you yeah that's something you certainly give i go premium oh i pay for the premium uh
01:16:03
what's the what's the difference you just get a lot more content oh okay and higher definition
01:16:08
videos and longer videos far more accurate you get through longer videos though do you know what i
01:16:14
mean do you keep watching after you complete and does it take it longer for you to i've noticed it takes longer for me
01:16:19
oh no you're like boom no i get in a manic obsession really yeah i focus i can i
01:16:26
know how to focus my attention because i play a game called match 3d there's a game called match 3d
01:16:32
where you you have to you you have to put like symbols inside a little thing as fast as you can and it he if
01:16:39
you don't focus especially on your phone because on your ipad's easier on your phone you have to really look and i use that
01:16:45
technology and that system when i watch porn i focus into the [ __ ] oh so your mind just goes right in
01:16:53
yeah yeah and i'm like nothing you know sometimes you'll be watching porn and you'll hear a noise i go is that a ghost
01:16:59
or you know i mean or you start thinking about other things right the only two options or whatever you know
01:17:04
or is that my girlfriend maybe that would be that right or you think about what do i have to do tomorrow i don't i
01:17:09
know how to laser focus and do it in the situation do you know how to do that i just it takes me like an hour on the opposite
01:17:16
to finish oh it takes me a long i mean sometimes hours hours just to finish one load oh yeah
01:17:23
really yeah but i have one hour longer sometimes what a two hour
01:17:31
what are you doing three are you sure freeze out baby the sun will be out baby
01:17:36
are you jerking off the entire time i take breaks out baby the sun is out i understand
01:17:43
that can i ask you this can't you do like two or three what are you talking about i mean it's like are you like you know
01:17:51
what it is it desensitizes you
01:17:56
cause uh i noticed that i'll get sick of watching one scene and
01:18:01
i'm like ah this is not doing it and then i'll cut to another you know what i mean it's just like boom boom boom boom yeah
01:18:06
that's why it takes so long i mean i i'll be honest with you i have gone through
01:18:12
five or six videos right hundreds yeah but tons do you need help then what
01:18:18
are you talking about if you have to look at hundreds of videos not a hundred maybe fifty is that normal
01:18:23
no it's not fifties i'm trying yeah it's normal 50 is difficult yeah
01:18:29
yeah yeah maybe you should just take a break you think you know what
01:18:34
that's healthy are you worried about me i'm worried about i'll tell you what i'll tell you what i'm worried about a
01:18:40
terrible word i'm worried about and this is really good to talk about really this is not comedy but um
01:18:45
what i'm worried about is um you know one night
01:18:52
we were all wait waiting for you for war zone and we're trying to contact you and
01:18:59
dylan and i and that you weren't around so we went in you thought the worst no you didn't that you died okay i
01:19:06
thought you guys thought something happened no and then you said i just woke up and it was like 12 30 at night
01:19:13
oh i'm i'm improving though because since this is a bros yeah i mean no no i'm just saying that
01:19:19
worries me that you're waking up at 12 30. my sleeping schedule
01:19:24
and i'm not blaming i'm not saying you're partly to blame but as a kid but as a kid i'm not deflecting i'm just
01:19:31
kind of let's go down the timeline you ought to do it let's go down the timeline let's go check it out i remember when we were
01:19:36
kids before he started stand up he'd be like not you know come in my room hey you know mark like martin lawrence stand up
01:19:43
he's about you know like he would talk about stand-up specials hey stay up with me and watch this thing and so i remember i'm not blaming you
01:19:49
but i'm just giving you it sounds like you're blaming me no no i'm just giving you a timeline call give me the timeline and so i just remember like oh okay i'll
01:19:57
i'll stay up i'll stay up you know like hollywood shuffle all these great like movies or comedy specials yeah i make them stay until
01:20:04
midnight no no longer than that like this is the vhs days and everything and i just remember back then i'm like
01:20:10
all right i'll stay up and then it's i just remember it started back then it's progressively got worse and then i
01:20:16
have i'm on my phone it's not my fault i have myself to blame right now it's everything he's been waking up earlier though we've been
01:20:22
doing this gas way earlier brother yeah keep going he's on time every every time shows up early yeah
01:20:29
when do you shoot though 7 pm oh you do yeah keep going keep going he he shows up with that he shows up
01:20:37
with ideas he he thinks about stuff all week he comes up with every challenge that we do from week to week oh wow wow yeah
01:20:43
every week we shoot extra content at least once or twice a week outside of when we record the podcast
01:20:49
talk about the ad reads we do very unique ad reads okay where we dress up i'm always early that's what i'm worried
01:20:56
about is this though it's um you know um i just feel like
01:21:01
you know i just want you to be in a relationship keep in mind i went through a breakup it's only been
01:21:07
five six months right give me that let me go through my thing
01:21:12
you know what i mean let me go through it a little bit uh okay because you didn't use that you
01:21:18
know because let's talk about real time things have happened and i have been in a dark spot but yeah
01:21:24
we're i'm crawling out of it right jeremiah yeah he's been dating some people and stuff he's
01:21:29
trying to meet he doesn't have a car i know we're working we're working on that we're working on it okay you get a car license yeah you get
01:21:36
vaccinated there's certain things that he just doesn't he's sort of like off the
01:21:42
off the grid i know i understand i'm concerned i'm there to help him with that yeah he's
01:21:47
been great we've been doing positive things let's keep it positive baby
01:21:56
contestant number one please introduce yourself my name is panjani mcgivens and i'm from um yellowstone
01:22:03
elementary school um in lubbock texas and um that's it
01:22:10
okay so how do you spell intelligence
01:22:15
i n t e
01:22:28
[Laughter] that was incorrect i know it was was
01:22:35
that correct or incorrect incorrect well i lost then go ahead okay uh please uh enter yourself
01:22:42
uh timothy kramer tucson arizona hi timothy uh hunker chief
01:22:50
can you use it in a sentence please yes i use my handkerchief when i cry to wipe
01:22:57
my tears hankerchief
01:23:04
hank hank am i saying that correctly yes
01:23:11
h a and k
01:23:20
e r c h
01:23:26
i e f almost handkerchief thank you for
01:23:32
participating uh but no no incorrect all right
01:23:38
our last contestant here uh please introduce yourself hi my name's darius finnegan you have to
01:23:44
stand up i got it yeah you have to stand up
01:23:49
right there oh no no no no that's good that's good that's good hi my name is you're in your wheelchair
01:23:54
yeah yeah hi my name is darius finnegan i got a sacagawea grade school i'm ready for the
01:24:02
word logoria can you repeat the word please
01:24:10
logaria margarita no lageria
01:24:18
one more time logaria logaria yes
01:24:23
could i get the definition of the word please a tendency to extreme loquacity could you use it in a sentence
01:24:30
please yes my economist professor lagoria can be frustrated in times
01:24:45
i'm kind of having bad flashbacks right now logaria yes
01:24:56
l a g
01:25:05
u r i l l a logaria
01:25:13
[Music]
01:25:25
your incorrect i'll love you to the end of time
01:25:35
my friends bad friends
01:25:42
good friends and all the friends you have in the world
01:25:52
don't say no cause you
01:25:58
i know that you're a dream okay thanks for tuning in thanks for
01:26:04
being a bad friend
01:26:10
[Music] we haven't started yet we like that
01:26:16
though i love it
01:26:23
what the [ __ ] are you doing
01:26:28
richard ramirez is my favorite serial killer
01:26:36
he snuck into your house [Music]
01:26:41
rape i don't know no that's not no i'm not gonna start with that that's that's too dark it was too dark
01:26:55
[Music]
