00:00:00
hey we're going to be at The Comedy Store next week next week next Tuesday night 8:00 p.m. in the main room all the proceeds Bob where are they going
00:00:06
they're going to the door men and women of The Comedy Store and they're all talented kids and we want to help them
00:00:12
out for the holidays so it's going to be bad friends lives hopefully if you guys let us sell out the 8pm we can do the 10 p.m. afterwards and raise more money uh
00:00:18
for the for men and women that work at The Comedy Store to help them out be so happy go to comedystore.com for the for tickets the comedystore.com I'm going to
00:00:25
be in Boston New Year's Eve and New Year's Eve Eve get those tickets now we just added the Late Show uh to New Year's Eve Andrew Santino
00:00:33
docomo docomo we got new merch look at this huh look at that baby Bob show I love I love mine this is awesome we got new merch guys look at this new merch look at that we're yelling at each other
00:00:46
um this is great stuff go to um badri merch.com uh award it's in the merch bar down below but if not badri merch.com
00:00:54
you two are bad friends who are these two idiots a white dude and an Asian you do you two are disgusting you two are something we're
00:01:05
bad friends no no you know how sometimes you go to like a hotel and you you know the valet but do you have to pay that
00:01:11
lady behind the count you know what I mean wait what say you know how you go to valet you have to pay sometimes you don't pay at the valy thing there's an
00:01:17
actual like little you know what I mean yeah desk thing yeah that's what she looks like a desk girl a desk no but
00:01:24
only for valet what is it because of her pants just her vibe yeah yeah yeah her energy
00:01:29
I think it's cool you look like uh general manager of an Alo local but not in this country you mean like there's a new branch in hurus right and she's like the
00:01:41
you're the general manager though what's on your forehead it's a pimple cream oh
00:01:46
yeah we shouldn't have brought that up well it's right it's I just didn't know what I it's right there what do you want me to do n Rocky Mountain High let's
00:01:53
talk about the pimple cream well this morning I woke up to like a really really big zit and then I wanted to pop
00:02:00
it cuz it was so painful and then I was in the mirror and when they popped it it like squirted all over the mirror I love
00:02:06
it I love that yeah one of my favorite things is popping a a good pimple do you use like a little needle to like poke it no what just your fingers oh but sometimes it's like hard n you just got
00:02:18
to squeeze baby oh wait a minute you use you puncture your face first and then yeah I've seen that online yeah you know
00:02:24
what I do it's disgusting you have the dogs do it no no that's a good guess and I appreciate that that's a really good guess what I what I'll do is I'll bite my nail take
00:02:36
a nail I'll take a and I I'll I turn it into like a little shiv so I'll bite it turn into like a
00:02:43
mini shiv yeah I got and I'll pop it that way because sometimes I pop it in places there are no needles right and I
00:02:49
get that there's not needles everywhere and and your nails grow on trees your nails are clean so you figured oh that's
00:02:54
another good point and that's funny that you say that I wash my hands first why not why not get the infection worse
00:03:00
that's true I get that yeah yeah that's smart so the dirt under your fingernails now gets into the hole in your face yeah
00:03:05
um can I ask you a question please you're not fully over your whatever you had your voice is thick my boy sounds
00:03:12
normal to me and and then Friday night you were like a little grumpy on the phone why was I grumpy on the phone I
00:03:18
don't know I called you like you're not going to be here I go and I go what oh no I was in the main room of the store yeah let's talk about it I was in the
00:03:25
main room of the store and the sound guy was coming to look to see who was supposed to be next and I was supposed to bring you on next but I couldn't I
00:03:31
didn't bring you on I ended up bringing on somebody else Benji a Flo cuz you yeah okay but the sound guy said is
00:03:39
Bobby not going to make it and I said well I don't I'll call him and I said Bob your spot is next are you going to
00:03:45
be here and you said no yeah and I said why not I was at the Improv no you were done at the Improv I was at improv you were done was that not at themov though you were before but you were done you could have made your spot but you didn't want to so you just bailed so for all
00:03:58
the fans out there no that paid for a ticket on Friday night and get didn't get to see Bobby he bailed yeah I'm
00:04:03
there every night and if you really want to know if you want to really want to see me come every night he he wanted to go get food he's oh damn that's it now I
00:04:12
know what to tell people when I'm working when I'm working and Bobby doesn't show up I get a long line of people that are really upset and sad how
00:04:19
much for the car um you going to get it car oh yeah you're okay back don't talk to me like that okay my point is listen okay you can I tell you what happened last night stop calling in if
00:04:33
you're not going to do the spots [ __ ] you I've seen you so many times cancel never yeah you're right I never can that AR doesn't work but you know
00:04:43
mean but I tried and that's what's great about me right I commit to whatever nonsense what happened last night last
00:04:49
night I'll tell you what happened right it's scary [ __ ] scary so I'm in the main room at the comedy store in the
00:04:57
green room and I was there I had a friend from Canada with me okay yeah and we sitting there Eddie pepeton there you know the old man love Eddie so funny a yeah and he's there with his friend and
00:05:11
then there's this black guy okay what well just the way you went like you laughed at oh I did yeah can I say it again yeah guy
00:05:25
black there was a guy who was who happened to be black just so happen to be yeah yeah yeah and he's sitting there
00:05:33
and it's everything's fine I'm like you know you I was there a little early and we're all chatting MH this is guy
00:05:39
sitting there on one the you know where the bar is that little bar that they don't serve anything in the main room
00:05:44
and he says something a little bit weird he's like yo hey man uh what's treyo Treo on stage and I go what tro tro and
00:05:55
I go Jesus tro that's his name I go yeah so that right there you know in your head you're like why would you you don't know him what do you do who
00:06:08
are you yeah well that's what I'm saying so I look in the on the list because you know sometimes you have your you know
00:06:13
what I mean the open micers that open the show you know what I mean don't point at her not her I'm just saying you
00:06:19
know who I'm talking about you I mean the names you hire me I do hire you and you're [ __ ] great you're cheap I mean you're you're talented but cheap help
00:06:30
[ __ ] uh Nick what's her name Nikki Haley whatever her name is who's Nikki Haley
00:06:35
um anyway oh she's a politician right yeah her I can't get Nikki Haley what what does she do no she's running for the Republican thing she does standup no she doesn't I watch but
00:06:51
she should her whole campaign is a stand up yeah oh it is yeah show me some Nikki Haley let me finish let me finish I
00:06:58
might cast my vote for her yeah stand up there is no stand up by the way Pete typed in Nikki Haley stand
00:07:04
up fire stand up for America well stand up oh stand up for America yeah yeah no it's Standford that's very good though so what so what so this young black man right so then let me can I tell the
00:07:16
story please yeah yeah so he goes TR TR and I go uhuh and look at there's no there's he's not on the list then he
00:07:23
then he starts mumbling when do I got to go up like just r randomly going that asking when do I get to go up I'm going to go up okay well I I'm not kidding you and
00:07:36
and for my peripheral I'm like there's something wrong because he's also his eyes are going all over the room yeah
00:07:41
zigzagging zigzagging when do I get to go up you know what I mean and I can't I'm not good with confrontation I know
00:07:47
that right so I'm like you going to go up what else do you say nothing yeah I leave I just leave no no no I double
00:07:58
down yeah yeah yeah because I think we're not but also Eddie pepp they have no idea what's going on
00:08:03
Eddie doesn't know him either yeah but he has no idea that there's danger why is there danger some guy does it treyo
00:08:10
treyo and going when I to go mumbling when do I get to go up sounds like a comic that's true that's true that is
00:08:17
that is true so what then he starts going like yo man uh he goes I've seen you on the Tik Tok and I go that's right I know but you would you have to understand that if you're a com you
00:08:29
don't say that but I understand he has I understand what he's saying right but it's like you know me going yeah Dave to
00:08:37
you and I'd go uhhuh oh okay so I go okay Tik Tok I showed done that he just doesn't know a lot of words oh that's
00:08:43
true okay this sounds like his vocabulary so then I'm I'm like I got to do something yeah would you no you would
00:08:49
just immediately immediately leave the room I I know but but I know if I was the only person in the room leave then I would leave but I don't I don't want to leave the room room and then all I come
00:09:01
back and Eddie pipon in 19 different pieces right then I'll feel guilt he can he can defend himself he's fine Kenny oh
00:09:08
so you're the hero of the day between me and Eddie peperone my money's on Eddie no no that's offensive he's [ __ ] a
00:09:16
thousand years old no yeah yeah yeah he can fight for sure there's no doubt no no he's a thousand years old this guy
00:09:22
look at him he's the man Dad okay who's your money on Jules between between him and Bobby in a fight he looks like going to have a heart attack second so maybe Bob thank you so much so you're saying
00:09:33
the only reason that Bob would win is because he might have a heart attack right but outside of that if he let's just say he has that's not of me doing
00:09:40
anything that's just him killing himself then but let's just say he's got a really healthy heart like I know his vitals are great okay then maybe him
00:09:45
then him truth is the truth what do you think juice I think Eddie would take the hit
00:09:51
for the insurance money thank you thank you so he would lose on purpose he's a Fall Guy yeah but
00:09:58
with that with that means is he could still beat you if he wanted to so what do you do anyway okay so what do you do
00:10:04
I go to the front I go to Jess and I go I think there's a crazy person in the green room she's like what are you talking about and I go what do you mean there's a [ __ ] CR black oh God I'm
00:10:17
sorry I should have done that no no leave it in no leave it in I was just doing a call back for got it all right and then this [ __ ] guy goes we got to [ __ ] cut it out no it's great leave
00:10:27
it in right it was just a joke it was a joke so look you told Jess and J so I go she goes okay and she comes with me I go
00:10:33
no you can't come now you can't come now she's like why I go because you're going
00:10:39
to then I'm he he knows that I'm the one that nared right you got to come in eight
00:10:44
minutes ah time it I timed it your yeah yeah so I went back in there and then lo
00:10:50
and behold Eddie purple Tone's still alive thank God yeah yeah I'm like oh he's not in pieces right and the guy's still sitting there I go to the bathroom
00:10:57
and I we just I just pretend that you know everything's fine right right right and then she finally comes in and she
00:11:03
she goes what's your name and he goes ah like that oh I know that guy that guy he's funny that's his name h h h h h h h he actually RI oh he yeah yeah that
00:11:15
would be a name that yeah yeah thank you yeah they go nuts yeah it's like earthquake you know has their own name yeah exactly cool so he goes he goes ah
00:11:28
and paid regular he goes uh um yeah yeah yeah yeah right she goes no you're not he goes I'm not how easy and then no but then he goes she goes you have to leave he goes why he goes you're not
00:11:42
performing he goes but can I go up these are good questions that's true he is putting in
00:11:49
good questions yeah but can I just show tell you though I mean people don't know at home um it's a soldout room in the
00:11:55
main room right and um it's not like it's not it's not difficult to get back there but it's not some you know that you're not supposed to be back there you know you're not supposed to be back right it's just there's a long hallway
00:12:09
there's a stay back there you just you know what I mean you have to be very bold yeah right also if you're an upand
00:12:16
cominging comedian you just in your mind know that just that's not the way it happens of course yeah just go can I go
00:12:24
up my name is ah right that just doesn't work right but he goes can I go up and she's like
00:12:30
no you can't you have to leave this room yeah and he hesitates he go nah-uh okay okay he gets up and leaves right yeah and then they banned
00:12:42
him for life oh man that was my win but then I go you baned for life now he's going to think I did that yeah so if
00:12:50
you're out there listening ah Bobby is the reason you'll never perform at the comedy store and and
00:12:55
honestly Bobby Lee and you guys uh fans will you put his address right at the bottom of the screen so mail your
00:13:01
complaints there or I want to that way I want you to feel the guilt no I wouldn't feel guilty at all oh if a came to my
00:13:07
[ __ ] house and murdered me in my sleep you wouldn't feel guilty hilarious listen right when you kill me
00:13:16
take my blood and on the wall go Andrew santin yeah but say Andrew Santino cuz there's a lot a lot yes San how about Cheeto Santino Cheeto s me yeah Cheeto s me yeah they'll know right yeah you
00:13:27
won't feel the guilt no all right you know put his address under the put his address see which which
00:13:35
house cuz let me say something a you can open for me I'd have never seen your act at all at all but dude I'm telling you I
00:13:41
I packed rooms killed Andrew and you can open for me all right all right we'll just see who dies first dude so funny
00:13:47
this guy I hope is a big fan and I hope he's know of this show and he's listening to this show yeah yeah and
00:13:53
it's going to show up more of The Comedy Store be like I heard you got me banned I listen to your show I didn't get him banned okay I mean that story definitely
00:14:00
sounds like you did oh that's right I should have told that story yeah it's great yeah cuz 8 minutes I should have waited yeah that's okay I mean I shouldn't have said the eight
00:14:12
minutes going to be okay so rude you got cut off welcome back by the way Rudy the
00:14:18
Jews hi hi are you sad your mom and sister are gone yeah but I also like being alone yeah we know that I don't
00:14:25
know what she does at night I come home it's like Friday Saturday night but she has a bit it was like 2 days that I
00:14:31
didn't see you and you didn't tell me that you were in New York was he got to check in with you
00:14:37
before he goes to New York are you my parole officer yeah no no you have to tell me what what what let's see what
00:14:43
that conversation got you just say you just say Okay ring thing hello hey by the way how are you for a
00:14:55
second yeah good how are I'm in New York okay bye what does that do that's it she
00:15:01
hangs up already that's crazy okay bye that means that she doesn't want to know any information that's right no it could
00:15:08
be like I've been captured you didn't finish it you don't know why he's in New York yeah yeah yeah okay okay it's too
00:15:14
late it's too late I'm already dead and now the FBI let's do it again that was my one chance I was like I'm free I'm
00:15:20
going to call jewes right I'm in New York you know what I mean hi what I'm dead [ __ ] you okay okay let's say let's say you're a kid you're adult napped let's say you were stolen yeah somebody
00:15:32
steals Bobby Lee a group of thugs just just I need the specifics oh who does it yeah the Yakuza in New York they're
00:15:39
everywhere that's true but more the Chinese Triad okay the tri Chinese Triad steals you because they're not a fan of
00:15:45
Koreans yeah and so they steal you right and they say listen up you have that doesn't S sorry honestly do Chinese Ren up yeah higher up though maybe
00:16:01
they're them you and that's what he's saying to you right there what is that group right there that's the Chinese tribe it is but that's him right there
00:16:06
in the front he's saying you have a one phone call that's great and so that's what
00:16:12
he's saying one you have one a phone call who you going to call yeah now you use this opportunity to tell on the list
00:16:18
of people who you're going to call yeah give me the list of where Jewels would fall under the numbers you would call
00:16:23
for help the Chinese Triad has you in their layer and they're like you get one phone call well on my phone I have
00:16:30
favorites yeah who's who's in the favorites you're in the favorites you're in my favorites you're in my favorites
00:16:36
really she's in your favorites she's the nend though yeah like she's the second to last name on the favorite who's the
00:16:41
first person you would call Chinese Triad be real I know I'm saying it's not that who you going to call like oh I'm going to die who are you going to call to get you out of this Chinese Triad uh
00:16:54
situation situation well so they have to talk to the Triad to get me out of the situation that's right yeah
00:16:59
oh then my manager Abby she's good at you're going to call your Hollywood manager yeah call
00:17:06
Abby right now call her she doesn't want to be on the podcast I know but let's put her on she's your manager we can do
00:17:11
whatever we want I mean I could try Ian I don't I don't know what this going to give us here's the deal but
00:17:18
I'll try well it's worth a try right I want you to call her and be like and you but you play you and go I'm captured by
00:17:23
the Chinese Tri oh yeah okay okay okay I need you to help me get out at the tone please record your message when you finished recording you may hang up or press one for more
00:17:37
options Abby Abby Abby Abby I'm captured by the Chinese try it gang I'm in here hurry up and they have me in a cage one of those dog cuz they the dog they eat the
00:17:52
dogs I'm the dog eating C eating they going to eat me NE going eat me NE hurry up I'm so scary I'm
00:18:04
scary go help me this is [ __ ] this is [ __ ] now she going [ __ ] it oh my God
00:18:11
leave your ringer on I'll leave my ringer on oh my oh my God put on VI all right so when they pick up when she
00:18:17
calls back you have to answer you have to answer and you have to be a you have to Fig figure out your name yeah you're
00:18:23
the leader of the Chinese you need be working this stuff out in your head right right now what why you how do you caught me that St why did you capture it
00:18:30
what do you want out of it we got to prepare this so why did you capture me give me the accent
00:18:36
first you have come here she's going to call in any second no but let her surprise us with the accent all right
00:18:41
all right I want to see it's not I'll be surpris okay so why Chinese TR uh well we're trying to get more publicity and
00:18:52
you're a big name so this is smart we can hold you capture uh maybe we can get our name out there on bad friends oh they want to be on the podcast oh that's
00:19:05
a really I get on actually really but wait a minute if they kidnap you how would they get on the podcast because you you mean they're going to use him as his own
00:19:16
collateral yeah kind of weird you get Bobby back if we if they can be on the show 30 members all 30 how many are in the game it's your impro got you're the
00:19:29
leader of the you create the world we have 26 members and we'd all like to be part of the podcast 26 yeah pretty good number a lot of people how many door guys we have at this store is that what
00:19:41
it is maybe throwing in you know they better have 26 mics yeah everybody wants a everybody wants a headset can is that
00:19:48
even possible can we buy figure it out yes anything's possible possible 26 mics what what else is your demands yeah what are the Chinese Tri demands you better have that stuff lined up ab's going is a
00:19:59
manager manager everyone has a rider right I didn't even know we could ask for more all right yeah we just wanted to be
00:20:05
on the podcast I but you're Chinese too so you know when I'm there right when I'm there right I need you know what do
00:20:13
you need dumblings dumplings they need dumplings they love it they can't go out without it you know we need opium they
00:20:20
love the Opium can you get them that yeah okay oh and then no joke like kung kung flu no jokes yeah no you know what I mean no Trump jokes no Trump jokes don't call that China virus nothing CU
00:20:32
they don't like it yeah I don't no Asian hate no Asian hate right we'll do a Chinese Triad stop Asian hate episode
00:20:39
yeah yeah white girl sounds good you love white girls all right are you prepared you ready I don't think I got a
00:20:45
I have an Asian girl that I want to show you show him this video of this this Asian girl I want to see what your stance is on this as an
00:20:52
Asian-American I really I'm being genuine I want your stance on this I won't even look and you too as foreign no no no you can look at her no I want
00:20:59
to look I be surprised by it is it beautiful I want you just to I just want you to listen to what she has to say I
00:21:04
want to say this from what I see now yeah kind of cute yeah sure yeah I would probably date her okay let's let's see what she has let me see if you agree with what she says controversial opinion
00:21:17
but if you have a token white and you're hanging out with your friend group of color you need to ask permission from everybody in the group to bring your white friend like don't just bring them
00:21:30
ask for explicit permission from everyone because just because you're comfortable with them doesn't mean that
00:21:36
everybody's comfortable with them I might not be in the mood to deal with white shenanigans that day that's that's all I'm saying and another thing it
00:21:42
features their ego like don't don't let them think they're a good white person don't don't give them that card to use
00:21:48
against other people please don't do that so what do you think if you I don't like white Shenanigans who does I've
00:21:54
never liked it who does ever since I've been in this country you know yeah you're sick of white [ __ ] around frolicking around so if
00:22:00
you're with a group of Asians do you have to ask permission to bring a white well I do mention it how do you say I don't get the permission how do you say it yeah I'm I'm coming all right
00:22:14
all right am I different I'm call do I get a different I'm going to call the main guy yeah
00:22:20
Ling no well Ling doesn't yeah but that's why maybe I won't bring you I got it because you already assumed mean
00:22:29
you you come to the and it just feels weird right so you know mean I think that's on you was that white shenanigans that was
00:22:41
white Shenanigans I walk into a big room of all agian yeah what are we eating guys so um supp they're all like
00:22:53
you brought supplies no supplies is this how do you feel about I think I think what he she's saying is kind of true because oh because from
00:23:05
what I've noticed like like like maybe like hooking up with white and like um Asian people I kind of connect more to the Asian and I don't really connect to the white people and also I don't want
00:23:19
to bring someone who's like Q to Andrew that's weird yeah yeah so so so if you so if it's like you I'd tell them like
00:23:26
oh he's coming he's coming she's saying you have to ask for permission no I'm just going to say oh he's coming I don't
00:23:32
have to ask right yeah you just have to mention it interesting to like warn them
00:23:37
I ask what you what do you say ling I go Ling you know you know at all I can say you're welcome yeah yeah door Dash um you got backtack meetings
00:23:50
errands to run chores to take care of what's the secret to clearing your to-do list a Little Help from door Dash that's
00:23:56
the secret you can get dinner household essentials and everything on your grocery list delivered you ever pull uh
00:24:02
into the driveway after going to the grocery store and you realize you forgot that one key ingredient for dinner I do it all the time cumin I forgot cumin you
00:24:10
can get the groceries you need or a backup meal from your favorite local restaurant delivered with door Dash with ease what do you want to eat tonight oh
00:24:17
my god well you know we we talked about cupcakes and donuts that's how I get it I know you and and I use door Dash
00:24:23
because it's quick along with restaurants though you love you can now get groceries Andrew I don't if you know that and other essal items delivered
00:24:29
with door Dash get drinks you love that I love snacks and other household items like you know sprays and guess what they
00:24:34
come in under an hour with door Dash with door Dash you're not just getting the things you love but supporting the community you love as well from stores
00:24:42
and restaurants to Dashers driving around each purchase provides a new opportunity for everyone involved because with door Dash there's a neighborhood of good in every order for
00:24:48
limited time our listeners can get 50% off up to a $20 value and zero delivery fees when you download that door Dash
00:24:54
app in the app store enter the code bad friends 22 that's 50% off up to $20 value and zero delivery fees when you
00:25:00
download the door Dash app in the app store and enter bad friends 22 don't forget that's code bad friends 22 for
00:25:06
50% off up to a $20 value and zero delivery fees with door Dash subject to change terms apply I go Ling um I'm
00:25:12
bringing um you know that podcast I do my friends he's like yeah yeah yeah and I go um I'm bringing Andrew right and
00:25:18
he'd be like nah at first oh really and had to pitch it yeah he's honestly that he's not you know he's not an insurrectionist you got to throw that out there that's
00:25:30
the first thing you have to say yeah like he wasn't there you know I mean on the sixth or whatever right I support it but I wasn't there right right I
00:25:36
wouldn't say that far yeah I wouldn't say that I go you know like if he was on a dating site it would say politically
00:25:42
moderate right moderate I would say moderate right lukewarm you know right right right and I'd be like um he's only
00:25:48
going to be there for like a quick sec pop in pop out he's going to pop in and pop out right and not he's not going to shoot anybody that's not what I mean he
00:25:55
doesn't know he's and then pop out you know what I me going to yeah yeah he's going to say you know
00:26:02
what I mean happy birthday and um he's going to leave and then he'll be like all right and then
00:26:09
it'd be okay yeah but you know honestly though I've never let's be honest what she's doing is insane it's disgusting
00:26:16
it's disgusting it's insane if we're going to talk about it for real that's [ __ ] repulsive Behavior it's very repulsive and it's like you know if a
00:26:23
white person had to ask his white friends can I bring a Korean that's insane what [ __ ] you know no yeah no
00:26:29
well this is this is the problem with I would still have sex with her though yeah 100% would you no if you were single no why because of like she
00:26:36
wouldn't have [ __ ] she wouldn't [ __ ] you because because how she feels about whites [ __ ] it's a big no no I
00:26:42
understand um all joking aside about it it well I did see it and I was like this is we're going backwards I do think it
00:26:48
should be a rule that you should if you invite anybody you should get permission from everybody right but it should mean
00:26:53
contingent upon the color of their [ __ ] skin that's that's crazy talk you're [ __ ] crazy person like you
00:26:59
could tell that she she's had experiences like she doesn't trust them she thinks white people are racist so
00:27:04
this would be funny here's what happened this would be funny though that if you made love to her you finally like for year quartered her right and right when
00:27:11
you're were going to come you look at her and go oh my God it was so funny like as you know you go Kong oh that'd be so funny and her face oh yeah
00:27:26
no yeah yeah yeah you know what happened though she was hanging out with a group of other Asians and one of them brought a white and she was like oh he's up to
00:27:34
that Shenanigans that's where this comes from someone she knows brought a white to a group she didn't like the white
00:27:40
that's I mean you guys do things that are like shenanigan like so do you like what I mean let's get into it should we
00:27:48
tell them what is the shenanigans Pete should we let them in on what they do no you
00:27:53
guys we really love you guys that's a shenanigan that's a shenanigan I want to know what her white Shenanigans are what what was what happened to her what Shenanigans
00:28:04
happened Pon face yeah and a clown School broke out well they probably it could have been like some guy said maybe some Co joke about China you know what I mean
00:28:17
which wasn't that's not shenanigan to me no that's just a bad some people have bad jokes yeah maybe it's like
00:28:23
um like the maybe she had dinner with a white guy and he goes where are you your
00:28:28
sticks Yeah well yeah mean the Chopsticks well did she not bring them bring them she bring you got to keep
00:28:34
that that my gold like solid 24 Kat you know mean ones on my backpack yeah well they can't have them yeah yeah and I
00:28:40
like eating meatloaf with him that's our thing I know yeah that's one of our things yeah you should bring them bring
00:28:47
a white bring hey you know what yeah bring a white bring a white don't tell anybody and bring a white this this this
00:28:52
holiday season surprise your F family with a white yeah what's white Shenanigans Rudy explain to us I don't
00:28:59
know you're young you know you know what's going on no but you're Progressive maybe like you know
00:29:05
sometimes like white people are kind of like entitled mhm and I find it more all
00:29:12
white people are entitled no some some of them or any is is any but I've noticed that sometimes it's mostly white people that are entitled oh no no no I
00:29:23
think that's interesting the truth is I think we have a perception that's [ __ ] true cuz I'm also scared of white people
00:29:30
yeah it's it's what are you scar what are you scared of I don't know cuz I just feel like because I'm Filipino and Asian I'm more like at the bottom who
00:29:37
does that you do you do that or the whites do that I don't know that's interesting well some whites you know
00:29:44
what I mean feel that but some Asians feel Superior like the Koreans and the well it's Korean and like Chinese they
00:29:50
always feel that so the problem is there's an Asian hierarchy of who thinks who's better than the other one I guess
00:29:57
yeah so that's a you thing so don't blame it on the whites okay take that Asian [ __ ] somewhere else don't talk
00:30:02
to her like that there's something behind that all right you feel Superior I don't feel superior but I could see how I feel pretty small most of the time
00:30:15
but I can see how um there are certain things I don't have to think about dayto day that uh maybe people of color have
00:30:22
to struggle with or think about and so that's like makes my life easier it's very woke see she's woke she's aware
00:30:29
well that's true some people yeah for sure yeah that's there's some truth to that there is yeah there's a nugget in
00:30:35
there yeah for sure I think that when Bobby walks somewhere he's given the utmost
00:30:43
freedoms goofy short Asian guys you're no one no one is no one thinks anything negative immediately about you you're not going to walk into a store and they're going to be like watch out for this one you're just going to be you
00:30:58
most of the time if you walk in a store they go look at that little cartoon character come to life because that's
00:31:04
what you look if I owned a shop and you walked in I'd go look at look at this guy it's unbelievable I go look at this
00:31:09
guy I might take a picture of you really unbelievable I go we got to get a photo of this little guy honestly did you see
00:31:14
the little Asian guy that came in here yeah yeah that's privileg like you literally like I used to have a g Joel mhm and they put fake
00:31:25
hair on the eyebrows and the head MH literally look like that right now A you don't even look like you're human like
00:31:31
it was like placed on you in a factory it was on the white Factory really place you'll never be
00:31:37
able to get to go to you that's the entitlement we have is that we are made in a factory whites are made in a in a fact
00:31:45
in a factory yeah yeah crap that'd be cool to design my own white make a white oh would love to make a white like build a bear but make a white they should have that in Asia oh I
00:31:58
would love to build a bill yeah build a bill build a bill hi I'm William right like each like you you walk in and there's a hair yeah right so like blonde is like it'll say $20 black you know
00:32:10
what I mean $6 red free free free red hair yeah yeah yeah it's like it's not even a thing
00:32:16
it's on the ground you know me like hair is on the ground you know what I mean you have to pick it up like this is free
00:32:21
you know what I mean that's number one number two and they realize it's just dyed Asian hair it's just dyed red yeah
00:32:27
it's hair they they grow rats and they just garbage hair like sheep like sheep what else would you and then you what else could you you get pigmentation well you pick their belly size too for
00:32:40
sure what do you mean whites have a lot of rotun bellies right so like maybe I'll get the berryer that right you can get maybe you can have like maybe Comics should be the body types right you get
00:32:52
the Theo the Jazz jazzel neck which is probably optimal very expensive yeah that's a good B yeah yeah I'm going to get the Jud like ah it's $495 what about the crusher how much is
00:33:04
that $450 but then with coupon it's $2 right like with there's a coupon yeah right so I'll do that and then um so do you have the height that height oh
00:33:16
height so you have the Brad Williams Brad Williams package yeah children there's a two children or mhm like you wouldn't you wouldn't have a separate
00:33:27
division no for dwarves well why not and and children you would just put them in the one thing
00:33:34
I don't know I don't know you think so you got to K for the bit oh yeah for for cutting purposes editing purpos editing purp for
00:33:45
editing purposes yes we should have a separate but then but then you're but then you're that's a big store build a
00:33:52
white would be a great white would be great build your white build your what's your perfect white friend build your perfect White friend that Rudy okay um
00:34:00
510 okay it's crazy oh no I'm thinking about a guy I'm going to go with a girl mhm 5'7 mhm pretty good black hair MH mhm
00:34:13
your nose I got a nice nose yeah thanks rude that makes me so um um go to titties titties okay first
00:34:25
you get there no lips no lips no lips most whites don't have good lips yeah and then at all yeah is that is that you're saving money at the store
00:34:36
no you're doing I feel better about myself oh I say I see all right um no eyebrows okay and then maybe mediumsized boobs medium siiz boobs what's medium
00:34:53
what's medium to you what size is medium in a what's to you in your mind what's medium 36B is that what's medium to you juice if a girl said I have mediumsized
00:35:06
boobs on the phone you would assume she's what um probably like uh d i don't they go to
00:35:15
like 26 sizes yeah D is medium well cuz they go I wish thought D was big Am I Wrong they're not too big for me because they go like all the way to z
00:35:25
z no they don't Z and then they go back to double a double B Double D's I think most people when they hear D they think of Double D's am I learning something there's no Z maybe absolutely no Z but
00:35:39
it goes like to G and H Dolly part what's Dolly Parton cup sizes range from double A to smallest to K is the biggest
00:35:46
but then they double so I think when guys think D's they're thinking Double D's is there Double K probably God I
00:35:53
hope not yeah Double K breasts there's definitely triple k no no that's racist where are those
00:36:02
titties that's so we I don't remember how we even got to how did we get from what we were doing into this I forgot
00:36:08
building a perfect white oh that's right she was building a white oh you're building a white yeah all right my bad what are you going to name your wife
00:36:15
yeah um Kimberly Kimberly is that three names yeah the last yeah so she's an Asian Lee yeah Kimber no just one name then Kimberly
00:36:28
whoa so her first name is Kimber and her last name is Lee no Kimberly what's a white last name I mean pick any of pick anything name an inanimate object and just name it it's
00:36:39
like Bob coffee that's a white that's a white guy Kimberly plant Kimberly plant that's definitely a white Kimberly plant definitely 100% a white person Google Kimberly plant and see if I know you
00:36:51
know there's one I bet there's one in probably La is that Poison Ivy's like um Regular name Kimberly Queen ferns fresh from Florida a dense Evergreen Fern shapely for that's a real plant Kimberly
00:37:05
plant are you single now rude no wow still with him what's going on there nothing I'm getting bored but you're getting bored with him don't say what when you say stuff like that he hears it it hurts his feeling you're going to get
00:37:17
a fight with him okay I'm not getting bored yeah yeah but TI Bobby can I say it yeah I don't know what you're going to say say about something the Bobby brought a girl over
00:37:33
oh oh yeah to to the house so what so and I told him what if she's crazy and she comes here and then she kills all the dogs and cats this is a valid
00:37:45
question that is what did you say um that it's not like you know I vet people hold on and yes I agree with you but also she doesn't give up this is how crazy she is she doesn't care about her
00:38:00
killing you or her she's like what if she kills the cats and dogs that's so interesting that's her instinct is not Instinct what if this woman comes over and murders me it's Bobby what if she
00:38:12
kills the dogs imagine this house is on fire you're outside with all the animals
00:38:18
yeah I'm still I'm on fire that's what will happen such a high likelihood by the way so high if she
00:38:29
lives downstairs if the house catches on fire downstairs there's no way out from upstairs she's leaving you also getting
00:38:34
the three cats is not going to be easy Noe right and she'll get them me and I'm going to be on fire so
00:38:42
what if you thought what if this girl kills the animals that was your honest question M MH what do you I mean how do
00:38:50
you even answer that I the cops I mean I mean there's things that it's I [ __ ] up right but it's your fault what if your boyfriend kills the animals yeah
00:39:02
but he's been there for like I don't know he's seen how many times he been there two times does he sleep over no he
00:39:10
can't because because you say no no he can I tell you you can his parents are strict Christi how old is he 19 but he's
00:39:19
been he's been with me for 6 months I forgot that you're 21 and he's 19 oh that's right young [ __ ] huh uhoh uhoh old the lady it's not like Sher oh my god do you
00:39:31
see shar's boyfriend no what what happened he's he's 40 years younger than I I love it oh really yeah look at Sher yeah hell yeah Sher look at Sher look
00:39:43
that's not Bono how old is this guy what B what's his name Bono Sunny Bono Bono back up that's a Bono yeah no
00:39:51
no what's this gentleman's name maybe I'm very incorrect Shar 76 he's 36 wow Alexander Edwards she's 76 40 years
00:40:03
could you date someone 40 years different than you older well if it was younger it would be
00:40:08
a 10year old so no oh yeah yeah yeah could you date a [ __ ] you're right could you date a four-year-old a 96-year-old woman well no you're she be 91 91 yeah
00:40:22
you're 51 91 year old well I mean there are certain things we can't do like what
00:40:27
okay so things we can't do is like surf are you you're not a big Surfer I know but I'm just saying we can't do it right but you can't just name stuff you can't do because you don't do them at all I know but I still might want to in
00:40:39
the event that later in life you catch the surfing bug and yeah who knows right I might want to get tubular I get it I
00:40:45
get it do right so she can't surve right she can't the hikes probably not that deep time out real quick you don't even hike you don't hike I I've hiked before though
00:40:57
hi fre hike okay right since I've known you maybe one hike okay so let's do stuff that you do that she can't do that you actually do in your Bobby Le real life right real life can't do all right
00:41:08
um she probably couldn't um go to The Comedy Store why it's late oh you're saying she'd be tired cuz remember when Ron Jeremy used to go yeah right Ron Jer used to go to The Comedy
00:41:22
Store sit in the back booth and he would fall asleep and you'd be performing you could run Jeremy s snoring I don't want
00:41:29
that right right I don't want her to completely fall asleep or die well there there's a chance of dying too well that
00:41:36
but that's going to happen in general you're in love with this woman she's going to die if she dies I understand that but the thing is the odds of her
00:41:42
dying like if I brought you know Andreas to The Comedy Store the odds of him dying sitting in the room is probably one in a million less but yeah probably
00:41:54
I'd say about one in 10 grand yeah maybe 10 one in 10 000 the odds of my wife dying is one in
00:42:01
10 right right and I can't risk that right cuz then I got to I'm on stage she you know what I mean she died
00:42:09
somebody yells I'm right I go I'm in the middle of a set up and you're killing I'm killing yeah you know mean and so I'm going to have to finish my set you got to finish you have to thank you I'm
00:42:20
more minutes left then you got to go right and then but it's hard to do a set when they're doing CPR
00:42:27
yeah yeah one two right you're still crushing yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and that's what the San said you know I mean
00:42:33
yeah pineapple juice for everybody whatever the punch line is right and it's not getting the last get it's weird
00:42:39
right and then you go back there and then you have to Fain sadness oh you okay right because I
00:42:46
feel like when you're 51 and your wife's 91 you're pretty much prepared of the death so when it happens it's not that shocking you just knew you just did you wish it didn't happen at work right and
00:42:57
you would say that to her all right well forget the com you would hold her hand you would hold her hand yeah yeah and you'd go that's what you get for trying
00:43:03
to steal my moment right something like that rotten hell [ __ ] rotten hell [ __ ] yeah yeah
00:43:09
yeah I can't get that set back right I get yeah I was what else can I do um so there R horses you don't ride horses have though I know but you but what do you do now that she can't do she cannot
00:43:21
eat a 100 cupcakes a day for example good good call back from the last podast pod very good you do call backs from other podcast and I love it I got to tell you it's a deep cut as your
00:43:32
as one of your best friends yeah from the way it's laid out right now I don't see this being that big of an issue okay
00:43:40
I'll the final thing I mean it cuz cuz your limited huh sex old people love to [ __ ] I understand the highest transmission of STDs in the United States is between the elderly now at Old
00:43:53
Folks homes because they're all [ __ ] and they don't care yeah they're ready to go out I think you could have sex with her yeah some people like to eat pizza that's been in the refrigerator
00:44:03
for four days I love cold pizza I don't like it really you don't like cold ham I
00:44:09
don't like anything like a roast beef sandwich you know sometimes you don't like an old roast beef sandwich yeah I
00:44:15
don't like it you don't like your eggs runny I I don't like I don't like curled milk really yeah juicy okay
00:44:27
could you date could you date at 40 years difference you're 32 right are you 32 yeah so 72y old could you date a 72y old dude that's as close to this relationship as as you would be closer
00:44:40
to this cuz she he's 36 right or what does he say 36 right 36 and she's 76 it seems awful I I was kind of making fun of B even know that I'm thinking
00:44:53
about it it seems gross well who's at the comedy store that's 72 Argus yeah I don't know could you date Argus
00:44:59
Hamilton no no vroom with vom you can shop thousands of cars right from your phone and have your next ride delivered straight to you you guys um when I bought my car I use vroom vroom is the
00:45:11
better way to buy your next ride you never have to haggle or negotiate the price of a car so you know you're
00:45:16
getting a good deal thousands of cars available on vroom.com you can make sure you get the ride you really want so you
00:45:22
don't have to settle with vom you can shop thousands of cars right from your phone and have your ride delivered
00:45:27
straight to you the the worst Andrew the worst is going out to those lots in the
00:45:32
heat walking around roaming around some guys like oh what are you looking for yeah and I don't like that man plus all
00:45:39
the callers on vroom.com come with a 90-day limited warranty and a oneyear um of roadside assistant Nationwide giving
00:45:45
you peace of mind while you're on the road trade in your old car by the way you got an old junker bunker sitting around when you buy your new one or you
00:45:51
can even just sell your card of room straight up when you sell your card of room you get a price instantly Bobby bought his uh online CU you know Bobby's
00:45:57
not going to go into a dealership and haggle with some guy he's just going to have it done from the convenience of the internet from the comfort of his own
00:46:03
home you can buy a car from vroom entirely done online next time you need to buy a car grab your phone go to
00:46:09
vroom.com and check out thousands of cars manscaped sing the song T the season for clean balls la la hey our friends at manscaped are
00:46:22
helping you clear your driveway for safe travels' holiday season from stacking stuffers to white elephants manscapes
00:46:28
products are at the top of every wish list grab some crop mops for your pops or the body buffer for the holiday lover
00:46:34
win this year's white elephant gift and help all the men in your life go from eggnog to nice hog this December by
00:46:40
going to manscape.com and use the code bad friends for 20% off plus free shipping manscaped is a One-Stop shop for all your holiday needs they have the
00:46:47
perfect gift in the Platinum package 4.0 plus loads of little presents perfect for stocking stuffers no matter how big
00:46:53
your presents are whether you got big presents like me or little tiny stocking stuffers like Bobby they all deserve to
00:46:59
be cleaned up properly nice and smooth and ready to go now that you've gifted them your perfect privates go beyond the Gran with manscapes full body product line get 20% off and free shipping with
00:47:11
code bad friends manscape.com that's 20% off with free shipping at manscape.com and use code bad friends manscaped for a perfect gift that will be the holiday's
00:47:22
biggest hit there's the new preserve cologne that brings a light Breezy woodsy feel and gives that fresh tree scent even after the holidays are over
00:47:29
and if you're still using alofa they've introduced the body buffer it's incredible lofas actually hold bacteria from dead skin it's gross throw those
00:47:36
things out and get yourself a body buffer I've been using manscape stuff for a long time now not just to trim my
00:47:41
schnaz with the weed whacker also trim up my pbes and now the body buffer is nice and comfy on my shoulders and my
00:47:47
back and my bum grab yourself some manscape today let's say you f fing with a guy right and then a million he he he was he
00:47:58
was caught in a fire in his car his car caught in fire so he has like burns on his face like he's he looks like Harvey
00:48:04
Dent right right I don't know who's Harvey dad Harvey yeah two face of Harvey Dead Two Two Face by the way you
00:48:10
know you know speaking of which Jay lenos uh is fine like okay that's Harvey D okay but that's the whole face the
00:48:16
whole face is like that side just the face yes it does it have to be the body yeah his body suffered Burns as well
00:48:23
yeah yeah the whole body's in Burns right the car was on fire it didn't choose where it burn whole thing got burned okay right and
00:48:29
he's handicapped right I bet you you would leave and we've been in love before you you were deeply in love how long no he was a stranger you just meter yeah no
00:48:42
you're in love how long you were you were you were dating for for a decade for years you've been married for 10 years 10 years married or dating for 10
00:48:49
years yeah you were in love he gets in a fire he he's in a wheelchair right he goes I can't I can't walk anymore but
00:48:57
you what's the chance of a burnt person dying oh my let that sink in no no no no
00:49:05
no stop stop stop stop let that sink in just for a second let the room listen to that
00:49:11
right what's the uh what is the chance of a burn person dying at least let that sink in in your heart wow cuz I can stay with him for like two
00:49:25
years so you're giving a limit on that on if somebody has a tragedy yeah wow right so you're saying that if you were in a fire right I wouldn't want someone to stay with me what so you just want to
00:49:38
be left you want to be alone I want to die oh my oh you think life is over after that yeah this guy became a notorious villain yeah famous famous I don't want to be a villain okay you
00:49:50
already are maybe you'll be in a car accident fire and it'll make you nice again and you won't care about [ __ ]
00:49:57
nonsense that's crazy that's crazy you're a crazy person so you would stay yeah you got to Bobby wouldn't stay yes
00:50:04
he would yes I would he wouldn't yes he would you know what's so funny this is how much that makes me this is how much you don't know him he absolutely would
00:50:11
he is a loyal loyal dude he would stay yeah I wouldn't like it yeah but that that that's a part of life yeah it would
00:50:17
suck right that's a part of life and I would like treat her like [ __ ] hey that's a part of life right
00:50:25
right yeah I wouldn't be around but she would still we' still be together not divorced still be together
00:50:30
she'd be in a room you'd support her right i' hire you'd hire someone to feed her yeah right right and given the
00:50:37
opportunity if she accidentally fell down a couple of stairs yeah or slipped on the driveway because it was very icy
00:50:44
yeah so be it so be it so be it so be it so you know but I wouldn't leave her okay I won't leave him then okay I'll just be away you'll be away now would you every once in a while say hello yeah
00:50:57
I'll say hello when every Sunday yeah what if he was like Rudy I'll even clean his butt very nice that's very nice with your mouth yeah oh wow that's pretty good if
00:51:10
he was like Rudy you never come in the room to say hello to me I was wondering if I could give you some money to maybe just play with my penis for a couple okay I'll do
00:51:21
it really it's money it's about money money I mean that pie is going look like Denny sausage yeah you're right I mean just got to
00:51:36
flick it around you flick it around all right now you know now you knew you know juic is the opposite she doesn't have
00:51:42
she has that's not for you you would you would stay I might be kind of into it yeah you know that's what I got about you you're like just a um Heart of Gold you're Heart of Gold you're hippie at
00:51:54
heart I yeah I was raised by you have that Vibe about you when you say hippie she's a hippie in real life
00:52:01
yeah I know yeah I just want to say in we might redefine some things like if his penis stopped working probably you
00:52:08
know what do do you do you collect Crystal I mean I want to see how Hipp you are what's your level you do
00:52:14
crystals I have a lot of crystals are you being real yeah but most of them were given to me by my parents ah yeah
00:52:20
oh number two a lot do you um do the oils like Puli and anything you do oils instead of perfume um yeah I do like um uh um what do you call them like
00:52:32
tinctures yeah ures yeah yeah so what do you do you do all natural deodorant and stuff like that I do like non-aluminum
00:52:40
deodorant but I don't like read the ingredients all right can I can I ask more questions yeah um is it um
00:52:50
Harry sometimes yeah it's a Grizzly it I don't have like a the same every day right but do you it or no yeah oh she she she shaves her legs and stuff okay
00:53:01
you shave your armpits yeah do you wish you didn't have to yeah sometimes I think I I have the thoughts of like why
00:53:07
am I doing this because it's like just a thing that humans grow hair and it feels
00:53:13
like it to shave your legs is like a thing to make you look like a little girl cuz that's when you don't have
00:53:19
hairs when you're prep puberty but I still do it because it feels good that's interesting I've never heard of that before do you think that's true I I I
00:53:25
think that's what a woman's perspective of it is but as a man do you think that why do I like shaved legs because I
00:53:31
don't like hairy legs yeah that's me too I don't think that's me too that's me to I think it's
00:53:36
just a normal I don't think men or women think about like oh I'm looking like a little girl but I think that's been why
00:53:42
it's like attractive to us like if if a woman had if a woman had hairy if like if a woman had hairy legs and was like I refuseed to shave but I would but
00:53:53
I loved her I just I guess you just get used to it but I don't I I don't love it
00:54:00
but yeah I mean but are we conditioned to like that or like are we condition to like smooth legs yeah yeah because we see hair and we associate that with men because men have very hairy legs they
00:54:12
did that for hundreds of years then yeah probably did when when did shaving your leg start as a woman I
00:54:18
imagine but then there's women I know that are girlfriends that say they like they like shaving their legs and feeling
00:54:24
smooth and no don't want hair same yeah so what does it say in the 1920s the new fashion for sleeveless tops and short
00:54:29
dresses meant that the legs and armpits of American women were now visible in social situations and advertisers sees the opportunity to encourage women to
00:54:35
shave their legs arm that's how long it it's not even that far years before the 1920 they you just said Grizzly people
00:54:41
walking women walking around yeah baby that's insane like that it's weird looking to me and so that let me ask you
00:54:48
something I'll be honest just be honest though right you love her okay you love her right I do right and she's like come to bed baby
00:54:59
I'm on my way yeah yeah what are you thinking I'm an alcoholic oh you'll be an alcoholic black out I'm blacking out
00:55:05
this is your burn victim yeah yeah that's my that's that's our version of a burn Vic yeah by the way that's insane
00:55:11
you you you do know how crazy that is she's obviously shaved her toes because there's no [ __ ] way your legs are
00:55:17
that hairy and your feet have no hair on them whatsoever there's no [ __ ] way I feel like the wokest person here and I
00:55:24
don't feel woke she's pretty very pretty I don't know her personality might [ __ ] suck but who knows but she's
00:55:30
like into you you're I know how to do it and she's like I don't want to shave my legs I know how to do it what do you do it's easy huh I would go um spill a
00:55:37
bottle of nare on her all the time no whoa no I go whoops let me wipe that you know you know something that's very important to me is you know not [ __ ]
00:55:49
guys no no no no let me finish right something very important to me is um every girlfriend and I have always had
00:55:55
we were sing Team you shave your legs with her and I shave my legs too because we're faster
00:56:02
yeah in the water that way it has nothing to do with visuals right I just like winning all right I get it right so that's a you know what I mean a huge
00:56:09
thing for so you sucker her arody diamic reasons I like it right shave your legs and then she goes well do not my armpits
00:56:15
I don't need that right I can leave those hairy it does affect it I have a second you know I mean that's still I
00:56:20
just prefer everything so you'll go through this painstaking process of you shaving your whole body and learning how
00:56:25
to swim cuz I don't know how I don't know how to swi right so it's like I have learned how to swim I'll get
00:56:31
in shape but I would go through that process to get her to shave her legs what would you do to get her to shave
00:56:36
her legs yeah I would say I'd like you to shave your legs I know and she would go no and I'd go this is over no be well
00:56:44
you you you loved her and you you going to no I know what would you do I I would go you know look I'm very attracted to
00:56:51
you I I love you I love you the way I love you already and and I would like and I think
00:56:59
we should be more open about our preferences of one another like I'm sure there's things that I do that you don't
00:57:04
really like that much and I'd like you to be candid with me and tell me what I do that you don't really like but that's
00:57:10
what Andrew think about this you give them the power first no you start doing the thing that they don't like right
00:57:17
right and then when they say when they say I don't like when you do that I'll stop doing it if you start shaving your leg yeah you'll do it in exchange that's
00:57:22
right that's it to take exactly right so what is something that she doesn't like she doesn't like she goes I don't like
00:57:28
when you poop with the door open right and I said well I love it because I like the dog to be able to come in and out of the it's one of my favorite things and
00:57:34
eventually she goes you know this is like a red flag for me go you know I'll make an exchange right you shave your legs speaking of flags I'll say that
00:57:40
yeah yeah I'll put up a I'll speaking of flags you'll already have it and I'll throw it right at her legs right so that's I think that's so my swimming and
00:57:45
your I think that's two good ways of doing it yeah yeah would that be convincing girls do you think that's a is that a good exchange I'll lose I'll
00:57:52
stop doing something that annoys you right yeah I think that's the good way to that's a good way to do it what do you do you care it's interesting it's
00:57:59
like uh I do understand why it's probably annoying to shave your legs but do you like having your legs uh shaved
00:58:05
does it feel nice I don't really care like shaving is so tiring so I don't really do it so if you if it was up to
00:58:11
you your leg is hairy right now let's look at your leg it's even ashy there's no hair well that's a moisturizing problem yeah it doesn't looks like there are any hairs on there's no hair on your leg I don't really grow hair so
00:58:25
okay say that man what the [ __ ] is shaving your armpits annoying yeah that's annoying do you wish you didn't do that mhm but here's what I might say in defense of that armpit hair makes
00:58:36
your pit smell more that's what I noticed yeah when you do have hair it stinks it [ __ ] stinks so that's an
00:58:42
advantage yeah you would say that to it's just weird in the shower and you're like I'm getting beautiful you're like it's so weird when
00:58:50
you're a human well obviously it's social you're you're on to something juice it's obviously a social construct by a dude to try to uh differentiate
00:58:58
these advertising sales like this is what a pretty woman looks like a young pretty woman looks like this leg these
00:59:04
are the legs on well as a society we were conditioned to think that way before the 1920s no dude went hey can
00:59:11
you shave your leg they never even thought of doing it I'm sure a couple of guys were Keen I'm sure no I know what you really I'm sure there was a couple
00:59:16
of pioneers back then that were like Pioneers I I've asked my wife to uh yeah and they're like really and she says yes but not the vagina probably no but I don't but hair but vaginas
00:59:28
don't get that hairy yeah I mean they do but like like I've had vaginas over the
00:59:34
course of my life that are like not like trimmed up and I don't give a [ __ ] I don't give a [ __ ] but that's also not
00:59:41
it's also you can turn it into a game right yeah yeah where is it yeah yeah yeah yeah like a
00:59:47
safari put on my safari hat I A little machetti yeah yeah there's the cave Wonder yeah think that should be the standard then if we want to if we want no there guys things that guys that you
01:00:00
want guys to do that so I like I actually like hairier guys oh so if a guy was like shaving his legs I would be like not into that yeah but I don't have a lot of hair on my body so I would have
01:00:12
to get hair we've got to get you some hair yeah I would ask you what would I do you know we have extra body hair
01:00:18
laying around over at uh build a bill come on over to build a bill build a bill we get you some white hair yeah but
01:00:24
yeah but I'm Asian there's no uh huh there's no bilda that's too hairy yeah yeah yeah so
01:00:31
that's too hairy yeah yeah that see that's great that guy's got a sweater that's too that's too hairy I
01:00:38
think so yeah I know a dude that's that hairy I have friends like that too yeah I know people like that but that's not
01:00:45
too abnormal I guess I think that's wild I'm lucky I have no I'm like you I'm like a little Asian boy I have no hair
01:00:50
yeah yeah that's why that's why I do a podcast with you to be honest with you that's in
01:00:56
that's so much hair yeah that's a a lot and they don't like when you shame them well no my
01:01:03
friend what I I don't know what he is good guy yeah good guy and one time we were at the spa and I heard his feelings what did you say well because you get naked right at the K Spa was like 2: in the morning he took his
01:01:16
clothes out I went and he goes he not don't he goes don't do that I go why that's that funny
01:01:24
yeah he's like I know I'm self-conscious about my hair and I I had to sit down and go you know I'm so [ __ ] sorry that because he was really hurt it
01:01:30
sucked but I laughed would you would have laughed yeah 100% if I did that to him yeah you
01:01:37
would have probably jumped on a cabinet and did a thing you know me and you joined in yeah
01:01:43
yeah yeah i' like yeah yeah so good didn't like it I get it's self it's very self-conscious
01:01:50
they do get self very self-conscious and I'm I'm sure well we all have our things yeah we do we all have all have her
01:01:56
little things yeah what is your thing I think like I think I don't like uh I never I mean I never it doesn't bother me but redheaded thing is always
01:02:06
kind of like a uh it's an easy stupid joke that people can make like it's just like a because I look it's so obvious that I'm there yeah it's funny like growing up I
01:02:18
when I saw redhead people I never thought of that at all we're we're always the butt of a joke until later in
01:02:24
life people made jokes everybody does and in my mind I was like oh we should make fun of them then yeah but it's like
01:02:30
not something that I instinctually thought what you people are very comfortable making fun of or taking like
01:02:35
a dumb shot at a redhead it's a it's like annoying when adults do it yeah it's stupid like a guy like a guy will
01:02:41
say like uh like they'll use a child term like a fir crotch term where it's like it was
01:02:48
funny when we were kids I got why people laughed when we were kids but then as an adult you're like this is so lame but
01:02:54
it's like it's such a common it's almost like we're like the last Bastion of you
01:02:59
can make fun of and everyone collectively agrees it's okay to make fun of redheads yeah those old school
01:03:04
way if I went to a black guy and I was like oh and I said something about his hair oh my God exactly and everyone
01:03:11
communally would be like you can't do that but if a black dude was like look at this orange ass [ __ ] everybody would laugh yeah yeah I I've
01:03:17
noticed it's like we're the only ones you're allowed to make fun of without someone going hey man that's not okay
01:03:22
yeah to a group I mean groups but I feel like that's like you know years ago when I used to do the road every show and I
01:03:28
used to count I I would tell openers check this out every show afterwards some white person will come up to me and
01:03:34
do an Asian accent mhm and they'll come up to and go M very funny tonight you know what I mean or something like that
01:03:39
and I had to eat it right but that hasn't happened in like 10 years well you guys when you come see us on the
01:03:45
road start doing that right we'll be yeah in your city we're going to be coming in fact if you do that if you
01:03:51
have the balls to do that well no they will they absolutely will okay this is how let's give them we let's give them
01:03:58
one phrase that they have to say they have the balls they have to be a crazy sentence okay right so what's what's crazy well you know mean you tell me
01:04:06
yeah yeah flat face that's good hey hey flat face yeah yeah Haro Harrow flat face right that's a good opener right strong
01:04:20
yeah yeah yeah little dick make her f face little dick make uh ching chong little dick make
01:04:31
ching chong uh uh um little China something about Little China yeah yeah little CH what is that
01:04:40
what's the phrase I'm thinking of uh big Tokyo Little Tokyo what is it uh I we're
01:04:46
making way to trouble little China big trouble little China oh that's good so thank you Pete yeah hey um fir phras you
01:04:53
I mean what's what did he say he just big trouble little China big trouble little
01:04:58
China good movie no no no no when I see when say when I see your well you say I want cuz I want to hear from a white person nope hey hey fph right when I see ching chong you I want
01:05:14
big trouble in nor China that's right so that's the line right and I want you say with a thick accent at show and you know
01:05:21
what if you do say it you get a hug from me big hug a big hug big hug and you get a kiss from me you have to say it loud
01:05:26
so everyone around you can hear it the whole room you can't whisper it you go hey Mr you can't do that no you got to
01:05:31
yell it as loud as you can you you got you got to go like that breakast ching chong make whatever yeah yeah loud you has be loud by the way I
01:05:43
love how you were like I love how you just were like I had to put up with it for years and I hated it now you
01:05:48
wanted you miss you missed the racism let me say something to you yeah thank you for being a bad friend thank you for
01:05:54
being a bad no no thank you more thank you and the holidays are approaching us oh I can't wait and and every time we do
01:06:00
the show now until the end of the year I want all of us to end the show by saying one thing that we're thankful for Rudy
01:06:06
go ahead I'm thankful for being in the bad Friends Podcast okay I don't believe that but that's very nice very nice juice I'm thankful for all my friends and family lovely
01:06:19
Pete uh I'm thankful for my beautiful children my wife gay what why okay why is it and then fancy I'm thankful for you
01:06:32
guys I'm thankful for my bathroom because of the toilet it's fancy it's got a little mechanism in the side and it's got 80 options right mhm so gyrating you know what I mean um do what
01:06:46
do you call it you got du you got it right duvet is a bed cover VI what VI B what does say it on the thing mhm can I start over start over go ahead you yeah so I'm
01:07:02
thankful for my bathroom right has a g rating has 80 options uhuh yeah I think you I think I can't do I I think you missed the the point of
01:07:13
what I was doing what are you doing trying to get everyone to say something nice yeah I like that the toilet is what
01:07:19
you're thankful for everybody in this room thank this room basically lying oh they're lying
01:07:26
she's lying I'm thankful for being a bad friend [ __ ] I'm not lying I believe I
01:07:32
believed her I'm thankful for [Laughter] um my life damn thank you Lord wow what wow it's your life or the [ __ ] do yours do yours we get out I
01:07:50
am thankful for your friendship all right I think means a lot to me that's you don't mean that because when I call you yeah yeah and you know how excited I get when I hear your voice the moment
01:08:02
you say hello I get a smile on my face and I go hey Bob because I'm thankful can I do mine over mhm I'm thankful
01:08:16
for if you say the toilet again that's what I want to say I think it for you all right thank you for being a bad friend
01:08:30
wo W wo wo