00:00:00
You two are bad friends. >> Who are these two idiots? >> A white dude and an Asian dude. You two
00:00:07
are disgusting. >> Well, you two are something. >> We're bad friends. >> I'm I'm coming in with a positive light
00:00:14
like I always do in every social situation. It's pure light, you know. >> Pure light.
00:00:18
>> Yeah. But um >> Well, let's hash something out then. >> I have hashes with you.
00:00:22
>> You got a hash with me? >> Yeah, I got a pretty big hash with you. >> I have a hash with him. And can I just
00:00:27
preemptively say what your hash is? What I think it's going to be because I'd like to do that.
00:00:33
>> Can I do that to you then? >> Yeah, preemptively. >> No, you preempt You preemptively hash
00:00:39
>> and then I'll do it and then you do it. But I think it goes in that order. >> Yeah.
00:00:43
>> All right. Because I I feel completely connected with you guys and and in harmony with you guys. Me and Andreas
00:00:51
hugged when I walked in here. I feel like we're >> That sounds like a guilty person. Yeah,
00:00:55
>> we're [clears throat] fully [laughter] we're fully we're fully connected. You
00:00:58
know what I mean? So, go ahead preemptively hash. >> Um this is because you called me.
00:01:04
>> Okay. That's not >> No, on Saturday night and I got you said, "Oh, like time is bad, friends."
00:01:10
And I said, "Oh, you're back from Utah already." And you said I never left. >> Okay. So, can we do now? We're doing a
00:01:16
pul fiction. [laughter] >> We're doing a pul fiction right now. We're jumping around a lot.
00:01:20
>> We're jumping around. So, let me >> But by the way, the story will make sense at the end. I think it will make
00:01:24
sense. >> It will. >> That's very good. >> All right. So, this is very fictiony.
00:01:28
>> Yeah. >> All right. So, here's my side of the story. >> Okay. >> Andrew and I were supposed to fly to
00:01:35
Utah. >> Andrew did fly to Utah. [laughter] >> I know. From a different city, though.
00:01:39
>> I left from Seattle, Washington for my niece's graduation enjoying time. >> Who cares?
00:01:46
>> Just cuz you barely made it out of high school. >> Okay. >> Some people It's important.
00:01:50
>> Okay. High school. >> It's big. Oh, okay. >> She's already in. >> They did the hat thing. They th we're
00:01:56
not gonna get jobs. [laughter] >> Society's over. >> She's smart. She'll get a job.
00:02:01
>> All right. >> She'll get a job. I left my niece's graduation. >> Oh god. >> In Seattle. And I flew direct leaving my
00:02:09
family. I flew direct down to Salt Lake City. >> Did you see the Did you >> So I get a call from Carlos.
00:02:15
>> Hey man, Bob's flight's delayed. I said, >> delayed. >> I said, ' Okay. Delays happen all the
00:02:20
time. He doesn't want to wait. >> It's my turn. >> He doesn't want to wait, man. [snorts] I
00:02:27
call him. >> This guy, [laughter] dude, they said that there's air in the engine, [laughter]
00:02:36
an air bubble in the engine. Whatever telephone game got played with the mechanics of the failure. It was fine.
00:02:41
And I said, "Okay, we'll just wait it out." And he goes, "No, they said they're probably not going to take off,
00:02:45
man. It's not." And I was like, "Well, what? Come on. I mean, like, is there another flight? I don't want to go to
00:02:49
LAX." They said, "All right, but there's got to be another >> You would go to LAX from Burbank. That's
00:02:54
an hour drive." >> So what? >> Okay. >> You're not even driving. You're in a car.
00:02:58
>> Okay. >> Okay. So So So on top of that, so I said, "Fine. I understand not going to
00:03:02
LAX." That's fine. That's fine. >> You would never do that. >> NO, >> YOU WOULD NEVER [screaming] DO THAT.
00:03:09
>> For this show, I WOULD. >> YOU WOULDN'T. BURBANK FLIGHT. >> There was a Burbank flight. Anyway, so
00:03:14
here's my other point. Not only did that plane take off, the flight after it also took off. You
00:03:21
know how I know that? Cuz one of the guys on the shoot took that flight. [laughter]
00:03:27
So you stink. And I said to Carlos, "Hey man, they said that that other flight is
00:03:32
going to take off because I called." >> And then then and then he goes Carlos goes, "Let's hear the other side of the
00:03:38
story. I'm sure there's another." And then Carlos goes, "He's already at home." And [laughter] I said, "Where are
00:03:43
you?" And you go, I had to leave, man. And he even lied on the phone and said, I'm going to wait a couple hours. I'll
00:03:50
wait. I'll wait. He didn't even wait one hour. So, go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead and play a case.
00:03:57
>> All right. I wake up at 6:30 and don't go boohoo. >> Yeah, boohoo. >> I JUST SAID NOT TO BOOHOO IT.
00:04:04
>> Don't tempt me with the boohoo if you [laughter] are going to boohoo. >> Okay.
00:04:07
>> 6:30. Guess what? I'm waking up tomorrow at 4 to go to New York. >> Boohoo. >> Exactly. I'm not complaining about it.
00:04:13
It happens. You know what adults do? They get up. >> I choose to do that. >> I choose to do it.
00:04:17
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> I got to get up this morning. >> Yeah. >> What? >> You choose to get up this early and to
00:04:25
go to New York. What are you going to New York for? >> I have to do press for our show. I'm
00:04:30
doing podcast without you cuz I can't rely on you anymore. [laughter] >> Okay. Can I tell my side of the story?
00:04:35
>> Yeah, go ahead. >> All right. >> I get up early. I get to the Burbank airport.
00:04:40
>> Yeah. >> Right. I check in. >> The early part is meaningless, by the way. You're 55. It's a flight. You have
00:04:45
to take it. >> Yeah. Okay. Can I just say something? Back in the nomad times. Okay.
00:04:49
>> There weren't planes. >> Can I just finish what I'm saying? You had your opportunity.
00:04:54
>> You've seen Congress. They interrupt all the time. >> All right. But >> yield it then. Try to yield your time.
00:04:58
>> So, a group of people would not sleep at the same time, right? There people are
00:05:03
genetically to sleep later, right? And we're called the watchers. >> No. >> Yes. I'm telling you, I'm a watcher.
00:05:09
>> You don't watch [ __ ] >> Yes. But in a clan and in a tribal situation out in the wilderness. What?
00:05:14
>> Not humans. You were talking about dogs, right? No. If someone wanted to watch
00:05:19
for everyone at night, you wouldn't be the one. >> I know. But I'm genetically made up to
00:05:24
be that guy. >> Kill you. THIS ONE'S WORTHLESS. >> WE WOULD BE DEAD. YES. I'M NOT SAYING
00:05:28
THAT. I'M NOT ARGUING THAT POINT THAT WE WOULD DEFINITELY BE DEAD. BUT THAT'S what I'm genetically engineered to do is
00:05:34
stay up at late at night and to watch. I wouldn't watch. We'd all die from the wolves. I GET IT.
00:05:40
>> YEAH. >> All right. So, what I'm saying is is that this 6:30 a call time, right, is
00:05:46
genetically and and and biologically different for me because I'm a night owl. >> You should be up already.
00:05:52
>> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. I know. I That's when I sleep. [laughter] Okay. So, now I have no sleep.
00:05:58
>> Okay. >> Thank you. >> So, you get there with no sleep. >> I get there with no sleep, right? And I
00:06:03
get to the checkpoint, right? And then I >> six people >> max at Burbank. >> He was 15.
00:06:11
>> Okay. [laughter] >> All right. So don't don't don't do that. Okay. All right.
00:06:14
>> Doesn't have preach, >> right? >> Yeah. Loser. >> I go to my gate. >> They call my number,
00:06:22
[laughter] >> which is number one. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. And I go I get on the plane,
00:06:26
right? >> Mhm. >> I strap in. >> Yeah. >> I put my headphones in. I take my pillow
00:06:30
and I I I fall asleep. >> Sure. >> I open my eyes and there's no one on the plane.
00:06:35
>> [laughter] >> So now I'm I'm in a fever dream. >> Mhm. >> Okay. >> They had evacuated the flight and I'm
00:06:41
the last one. And they go, "Sir, you didn't get that." I go, "What's going on?" Right. Petrified, [laughter]
00:06:47
right? And I go, "What is going on?" They go, "There's an air bubble in the engine." That's what they said to me.
00:06:52
>> I believe it. >> I'm not an engineer. I don't know anything about it. >> I don't know either, but I imagine.
00:06:56
>> Yeah. Yeah. Don't Google it. >> Okay. >> Okay. >> But it would happen to you.
00:07:00
>> It It happened to me. >> That's what everyone I know said. This would happen to Bobby.
00:07:04
>> Exactly. Yeah. >> So, I off the plane and I see the line right for the front desk and it's everyone in
00:07:13
the plane. >> What does that matter? >> Because they're all trying to cuz they all have like, you know what I mean,
00:07:17
connections and stuff like that, right? >> You don't >> I understand that. So, I go up to the
00:07:21
lady, right? There's another lady off to the side and I go >> side lady. >> I There's always a side lady.
00:07:26
>> There's always a side lady. >> Yeah. And I said, "Um, what's going on?" "Well, there's some engine problems."
00:07:32
And I go, "How long will it take?" We don't know. Probably an hour or two, >> right?
00:07:37
>> And I go, "Okay, >> get a snack." >> I sat down. >> You did? >> I called Carlos. I called people around
00:07:42
me. Right. >> And then about 20 minutes later, I walked back up to the lady and I go I
00:07:49
go, "What are the odds of this taking off?" She goes, "Probably not good." >> That's what she told me.
00:07:56
>> The woman that works at the front desk, does she have working on planes? >> Can Can I say that? Well, you know what?
00:08:02
I am not gonna get to the tarmac. [laughter] >> Go to the [ __ ] people that are
00:08:07
working on the planning. You should. Hey, Joe. [laughter] >> You know me. I don't even know how I got
00:08:12
here. >> Oh, no. That's how you got down. Don't worry about it. Just getting this air
00:08:15
bubble out of the engine. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. How How long is this going to take? This
00:08:18
>> Maybe an hour or two. Go get a snack. >> I I understand that. But is there a possibility that it might not take off?
00:08:22
>> Possibility we'll all die today. Go get a snack. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't like
00:08:25
that possibility. >> Well, me neither. But is your buddy already in Salt Lake doing the pod
00:08:28
without >> Yeah, he flew off from Washington. Man, I can't believe he flew. >> I flew out from Washington.
00:08:32
>> Well, you ought to go home and get some more rest, you lazy [ __ ] >> All right, so then I go back out.
00:08:38
>> So, I'm sitting there and I'm going, "Okay, so the probability, right?" And then in my my assumption with that line
00:08:44
is everyone's trying to get onto that 12:30 flight. >> You already have a ticket. Your ticket's
00:08:48
already good. >> Okay, >> your ticket's already good for a flight. They remove you from a flight. Your
00:08:52
ticket's still good. >> Okay, but also >> doesn't deactivate your ticket. Could >> Could this possibly happen? Okay, could
00:08:58
this possibly happen? What could have possibly happened was you waited, got a snack and a coffee, took a rest or
00:09:02
whatever. Somebody could have woken you up. Carlos should have gone to the [ __ ] airport with you. That's what he
00:09:07
even admitted. He goes, "I should have just held his hand, >> you know, which is not your fault, but
00:09:12
then you SHOULD HAVE JUST WAITED." >> I'VE NEVER BEEN ON A PLANE BEFORE. I KNOW HOW IT ALL WORKS.
00:09:16
>> YOU FELL ASLEEP and everybody got off. [laughter] >> So, it doesn't sound like you know what
00:09:20
the [ __ ] is going on. And then you left without the even giving it a chance. >> I gave it a chance. I asked
00:09:25
probabilities. I'm all about probabilities. >> That woman doesn't know. >> Yeah. Well, obviously
00:09:30
>> she's just telling you stuff. >> What? >> You don't like the >> money ball? >> Yeah, you're a big money ball guy.
00:09:34
>> I'm a moneyball guy. >> So, anyway, you bail early. You go home cuz I >> I don't bail early.
00:09:38
>> You wanted a reason to go home. Just admit it. Say you WANTED A REASON TO GO HOME. [laughter]
00:09:41
>> I WILL NOT ADMIT. >> ADMIT that the AIR BUBBLE WAS LIKE, "YES." >> YEAH. I WENT TO THE AIRPORT. My full
00:09:48
intention was to go to Utah. >> BUT ONCE YOU GOT AN OUT, YOU SAW IT AND you ran RIGHT TO IT.
00:09:52
>> I TAKE EVERY OUT. >> THAT'S RIGHT. >> YEAH. GIVE ME AN OUT. GIVE ME A BETTER PLANE.
00:09:59
>> I AIR bubbleless plane. >> Okay. >> Okay. >> All right. >> All right. >> Well, that plane still made it.
00:10:04
>> Okay. I did not. >> And you were at home. >> I was asleep. >> I know. >> Yeah. In my comfy bed.
00:10:09
>> I know. >> King size, by the way. >> What does that mean? Anything? What does
00:10:11
that comfortable? >> So, you're just bragging about the rewards you get for doing less work.
00:10:16
>> That's it, folks. You can do less [ __ ] and you still >> When you advertise for mattresses on a
00:10:22
podcast, sometimes they give you a free kingsiz bed green mattress. Avocado green mattress.
00:10:26
>> Yeah, avocado green mattresses. The best mattresses in the world. Made out of
00:10:29
bamboo sticks and whatnot. [laughter] >> Okay. >> Um, what I'm saying to you is that
00:10:34
>> you [ __ ] bailed. >> I tried. >> And you should have just said sorry. >> Work. I'm not going to say sorry. I
00:10:38
refuse to say. >> I know. I know. I know. Cuz you don't care. >> I do care. >> You didn't want to do it anyway.
00:10:43
>> I was at the airport. I was on the flight. What are you talking about? >> But once you But once it got delayed Oh,
00:10:51
you don't wait. >> No. >> Oh, good. >> Yeah, I don't wait. >> Okay. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If I'm going to go I'm
00:10:56
going to see Disclosure Day Wednesday. >> Okay. I know the bad reviews. Okay. >> I haven't heard anything.
00:11:01
>> Yeah. But if I wait in line, I will not. >> That's it's just the way I do it.
00:11:06
>> Good. >> Yeah. I don't like lines. I don't like waiting around. I don't like probabilities. There's probably a chance
00:11:12
it's not going to take off. Then I'm going to spend 3 hours at the airport for nothing.
00:11:16
>> What's the difference? But it is for something because I went out of my way to make sure that I DID
00:11:20
>> CUZ YOUR PLANE TOOK OFF ON TIME. >> IT DOESN'T MATTER. I WOULD HAVE WAITED. >> I don't think you would have. I
00:11:25
>> ask these guys. Would I have waited at the [ __ ] airport to go to Would I have waited? OF
00:11:29
>> COURSE. OF COURSE I WOULD HAVE WAITED. >> I WOULD HAVE WAITED ALL [ __ ] DAY BECAUSE WE MADE A COMMITMENT AND I WAS
00:11:34
GOING TO DO IT. >> I IF YOU'RE GOING TO RAISE YOUR VOICE, I'M GOING TO I ASKED I ASKED Melanie
00:11:40
about the JSX. >> Melanie had the [ __ ] date wrong. >> Your assistant didn't even have the
00:11:46
right date. >> That's how WE DO IT IN MY COMPANY. >> I get it. >> You know what I mean?
00:11:50
>> They don't have JSX SLC. >> No, they don't. I discovered that through exploring. So
00:11:55
I did some exploring as well. >> There were another flight you could have taken. Same airline. Same airline.
00:12:00
>> All right. So the next flight was So I had gotten there at um 7:30. The next flight was at 12:30.
00:12:07
[laughter] >> Okay. So what you're telling me is and I and I assume and you know when you
00:12:13
assume you make an ass out of you and me. We know that term, right? Yeah, >> but I'm in an assumption
00:12:19
that that line to the front desk is so [ __ ] long. They're all trying to get on to that 12:30 flight cuz of the air
00:12:28
bubble situation here, right? There's no way I'm going to get on that flight. >> First class ticket.
00:12:32
>> Yeah. Here's another thing I was going to ask you is is there a possibility cuz
00:12:37
this has happened to me before. Me having a first class ticket, right? The flight being cancelceled, I have to get
00:12:43
on another flight, right? And then I don't have first class anymore. I think there are there.
00:12:48
>> So when I'm my point is is that there's that probability as well. >> What does that matter?
00:12:51
>> I would I I won't fly. >> I didn't fly first class from Seattle. >> That's your rules.
00:12:58
>> It's not a rule. It's just a thing I I'm willing to do for the show. It's a thing I'm willing to do to make
00:13:04
sure that these things happen because we we've done so much for the show. >> Well, I'm going to New York.
00:13:10
>> And guess what? >> What? >> As long as it takes off in time. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. And there's no air bubbles. You
00:13:15
might you might be doing one or two of those alone. >> Okay, >> we'll see. >> You know what? I'm willing to do many
00:13:22
alone. >> Do it. I will. >> Okay, I will. >> Okay. And what [clears throat] I'm going
00:13:27
to say to you is >> go ahead and say you're never ever going to get an apology from me.
00:13:34
>> That's fine. Over Utah and I'll tell you this. That's in your face. I run the
00:13:40
business side of this. >> I understand. I will make sure that we [ __ ] you over. [laughter]
00:13:49
>> God will real. [laughter and clears throat] >> I'm going to pay you in Chinese yen.
00:13:52
>> Okay. Okay. That's how they're getting that oil money from Iran. [laughter] >> And I I and us Asians. What?
00:14:01
>> Moving on. Because nobody cares about this [ __ ] [ __ ] of us. Anyway, go watch me on impulsive. On a more fun
00:14:07
note. >> No, I I just It's not done because we have >> No, you and I are done. >> I know. You and I are done, but I still
00:14:12
have this. >> Oh, yeah. [ __ ] him. >> No, no. Let Let me tell you what happened with him.
00:14:16
>> I'm going to tell you what happened with him, right? >> Called me. >> So, no, no, just stop. Stop. Stop. Stop.
00:14:20
Stop. Stop. Stop. >> And now I feel good again. >> I feel good. Salt Lake is washed away.
00:14:25
>> SALT SALT WASTE is behind us. >> It's way back there. >> Yeah. It's way way back there.
00:14:29
>> Salt waste is the name of the >> Yeah. Yeah. [laughter] All right. So, all morning, right, [snorts]
00:14:35
>> Carlos and I are talking at the Burbank airport. >> Right. >> Right. Probably I you can look at my
00:14:41
phone probably 12 calls. >> Yeah. He told me talk to >> back and forth and then at the end I'm
00:14:45
like I'm going home and then you say go home. >> Yeah. Yeah. You had to talk to him like
00:14:50
that. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He goes, "Yeah, just go home." >> First of all,
00:14:54
>> he's like >> that should have been brought up at the very beginning. >> He goes, "Andrew can do it on his own."
00:14:59
>> I did not say that. I believe you did. >> I didn't say that. >> Did you tell him to go home?
00:15:03
>> I said go home because >> then I believed what he just said. Yeah, Andrew. That's how a parent talks to a
00:15:07
kid when they want. >> Is he just interjecting information that wasn't really there? Because you did
00:15:11
admit that you said go home. >> I said go home. >> What did you say after go home?
00:15:14
>> We probably hung up after that. >> No. No, you did. Oh, go home. Hung up. No, that's not what happened. [laughter]
00:15:18
That's insane. Go home. Beep. No, there's no way. No. No. >> Yeah. Like an agent from the '9s. They
00:15:25
don't want you. Go home. >> So then and then back I'm at home. I called them. >> I feel kind of weird. I'm home. He's
00:15:31
like putting this all on me now. So then he said, "Don't feel weird. Andrew can do it alone."
00:15:36
>> Yeah. And also take a good rest. Which I did. And thank you for that advice. >> I did.
00:15:40
>> Right. Right. Right. So here's >> I knew it, dude. >> All right. No way. >> I knew it.
00:15:44
>> All right. So he knows now that I'm not in Utah. >> Annoying. >> I call him Saturday night. I call him
00:15:49
Saturday night. Right. >> 12 hours later. >> 12 hours later. And I go, "What are you
00:15:53
doing?" I just hear music and like >> partying >> women going Yeah. Just You mean you
00:16:00
said, "Let me get out of here real quick, man. I'm in the troubador, man. Right. So, I can see him walk out. The
00:16:06
noise get less and less. Right. >> He goes, "Uh, did you make it back from Utah?"
00:16:12
>> You doing drugs? >> That's why I asked, "Are you on drugs?" "No, no, no. I just I forgot, man."
00:16:17
>> Did you do drugs at the Trouad? >> Of course. I didn't expect my boss to call me late at night.
00:16:22
>> Who'd you go see? >> It was like a fish cover band for a friend's birthday. >> You don't even like fish.
00:16:27
>> Yeah, fish cover band. >> Yeah, but I like Molly. >> Okay. >> Okay, >> Carlos. So Carlos just and I asked him,
00:16:33
"Are you on drug?" He goes, "No, >> we got to fire everybody from this show." >> I know. I know. It's ridiculous.
00:16:37
>> How did you not remember the episode of the morning? >> Because to me it was like a different
00:16:42
dreamland. I'm in >> Oh, you're in different. >> You know when you start an episode and
00:16:45
on a plane you fall asleep, you wake up. He forgot which episode he was on. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:16:50
>> So last night late at night, you want to watch a You want to watch something that
00:16:53
you shouldn't watch in the evening? >> Maternal Instinct. >> Oh yeah. >> Oh my god.
00:16:58
>> It's a movie. No, it's a documentary. Mother's Instinct. I'm sorry. Is that what it's called? On Netflix,
00:17:05
>> dude. It's atrocious. >> Oh, I want to watch it. >> This [ __ ] chick. >> Okay, I want to watch it.
00:17:11
>> Maternal Instinct. That was right. >> Yeah. M I want to watch it. >> This girl.
00:17:14
>> Okay. Don't Don't tell me anything about it. >> I'm not going to say anything about it.
00:17:16
All I'll say is >> Yeah. >> In the history of these kind of [ __ ] up wild scenarios,
00:17:23
>> Yeah. >> you've never seen someone layer something to this degree. >> It It's going to blow your mind. Maybe
00:17:28
some people at home have already heard the story and it's cruising on Netflix so everyone's watching it.
00:17:32
>> Oh god, I gotta watch Widows Bay and now this. >> You got to watch both. But I will say
00:17:36
don't watch this right before you go to bed. >> Okay. I >> cuz the end of it is disgusting
00:17:40
>> cuz there was another documentary kind of like this before. That was a big sensation,
00:17:44
>> right? That's her and her her husband. >> What was that one? >> Oh, the one with the girl crashed into
00:17:49
the water. >> Oh, cra No, no, no. The the girl No, the mom that was um catfishing her daughter.
00:17:55
>> Yeah. >> What was that one called? That cap. >> Oh, dude. I I don't want to say
00:17:58
anything, but god, do I want to say something. >> No, you can. But about maternal.
00:18:02
>> What was that called? >> Yeah, that that documentary. What was that called? >> Unknown number. The high school captain.
00:18:07
>> Unknown number. >> Yeah, that Did you see that? >> Yeah, dude. Yeah, >> that w that woman This woman is insane.
00:18:12
They're still cool now, by the way. >> Like it's like they're fine. >> I I know that those that relationship is
00:18:17
good in maternal instinct. Is Is that what it's called? >> Yeah. >> Is that relationship fine?
00:18:23
>> Oh, dude. When I say this, >> Yeah. I'm trying to do it very politically so I don't give anything
00:18:28
away. >> Yeah. >> Don't Don't >> The amount of pe Don't show photos because then it's gonna give stuff away.
00:18:34
The amount of people that this woman like [ __ ] over basically because of what she did
00:18:40
>> too much already. >> It's like it's like remember how remember when we first learned about
00:18:44
Ponzi schemes >> and we saw what made off like and how the tree kept going of like and this guy
00:18:50
got [ __ ] because of this this this and this person lost this this this this chick.
00:18:54
>> Okay, I get it. It's Can Let me Can I Can I guess what it's about? >> Sure. >> Okay. A mother.
00:18:59
>> You're there. You're halfway there. >> Okay, good. A mother, right? >> And she um supposedly is a Christian.
00:19:07
>> Yeah. There was no religious intent in this at all. >> Yeah. But there's a hidden subtext.
00:19:10
>> Well, they're in the South. [laughter] >> Yeah. They're in the South, so Yeah.
00:19:13
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And she creates She says it's gold, but it's really It's a cross and it's a necklace.
00:19:20
>> Okay. [laughter] All right. >> I like it. >> Right. Right. And she says it's real d
00:19:23
blood diamonds. >> Uh-huh. >> Yeah. Yeah. And she she sells it to her whole family. I I don't know what it's
00:19:28
about. [laughter] I think I'm already off. >> I can I can just tell you that it's one
00:19:34
of the greatest webs any human's ever spun. And it ends tragically. >> Well, obviously through the picture I
00:19:41
see that she's in prison. >> No, that's actually not what that is. >> That's what she dresses like.
00:19:46
>> No, she's being This is her being investigated. This is her just being questioned. So she dresses in all blue.
00:19:52
>> Well, when they arrested you, you're just in question. She's not in prison for this right now.
00:19:56
>> For this? For this? For this? >> But the clothing though that she's wearing, that's her own personal
00:20:00
clothing. >> Kids got great wardrobe, great style. >> That's a pretty close model.
00:20:03
>> It's uh >> I like a lot of >> It's locked up chic. >> Yeah. [laughter] >> Yeah. So, it's going to take 30 years to
00:20:10
get nanotechnology. I mean, people are saying like AI is catching up. We're going to have nanotechnology. And it's
00:20:15
like, dude, it's going to take >> Hello. What? Breaking sports news. This is big, Bobby. This is very, very, very
00:20:24
big. Lonnie the Huck Hawkins, 2004's number one golfer in the world, three-time major champion, is attempting
00:20:29
a comeback. He needs one more major to complete the Grand Slam. The Grand Slam. Who are you talking about, dude? Lonnie,
00:20:39
what? >> Clearly, I'm talking about Lonnie the Hawk Hawkins. The greatest. >> THE GREATEST OF WHAT?
00:20:45
>> THREE MAJORS, THE VISOR, THE HAIR. Come on, Bobby. The greatest golfer to ever
00:20:50
pick up a club. >> Okay. I don't know anything about golf. >> Can he come back and do it again? Who
00:20:54
knows? >> DO WHAT AGAIN? >> CAN he win? Will he win? >> Who's L? Okay. >> Lonnie the Hawk Hawkins.
00:21:02
>> Okay, so who's Lonnie? >> He will win. >> Okay, he will. Can I ask some questions?
00:21:07
>> Will he win? >> Yes, >> I hope so. >> I hope so, too. That he'll win. But who
00:21:12
is Lonnie Hawkins? >> Maybe all the power is in the visor. That visor. >> This visor now.
00:21:19
>> It looks pretty powerful, dude. >> But I doubt I doubt I I don't What? >> Put one on.
00:21:23
>> I'm not gonna >> put one on. >> Oh god. Oh my god. >> We look absurd, but we're champions now.
00:21:33
>> Oh my god. I feel the power. >> Do you feel the power of the Hawk? >> I feel so much more confident than I
00:21:39
ever have been or WILL BE. I I I BELIEVE IN THE LAWN. >> YOU HAVE TO. >> I do. Tell me more. bleach blonde hair,
00:21:46
bleach blonde hair, >> the colored shirts, the swagger, the ex-wife who doesn't believe in you means
00:21:50
nothing to Lonnie the Hawk Hawkins because NOW >> BECAUSE HE'S THE MAN. >> THE COMEBACK IS REAL.
00:21:54
>> AND he's have a comeback and he's the man and he's going to do it. >> He must. He will. He can.
00:22:00
>> But he might not. >> He should. >> But he will. >> He should. >> He will. He definitely will. Right.
00:22:05
>> Do you think Lonnie the Hawk Hawkins can actually complete the Grand Slam? He
00:22:08
needs one more major. His body. Robert says retire. His heart says no way. >> Yeah. I'm going to take the hat off now.
00:22:15
I don't think he can. >> Really? >> Yeah. Well, hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.
00:22:23
>> He will AGE. >> HE WILL. >> AT HIS AGE. >> HE WILL AT [screaming] HIS AGE. HE'S A
00:22:29
CHAMPION. HE'S CANOR. LONNIE THE HAWKKINS. >> CAN HE WIN A MAJOR at his age? His age
00:22:34
is close to your age. >> Yeah. And you know what? My age. Yes, he can. >> Is his is
00:22:38
>> His bones are going to ache. His legs are going to creek. His mind's going to
00:22:41
be disheveled. But at the end of the day, he's going to persevere. He's going to rise to the occasion because he's the
00:22:46
hawking of Lonnie. All Lonnie Hawkins. >> He's the Hawk. Lonnie the Hawk Hawkins.
00:22:50
Yeah. Yeah. Is this inspiring or delusional? Is Lonnie the Hawk inspirational? >> It's not delusional. It's inspiring.
00:22:55
>> You must believe. >> I believe now. >> Should Lonnie's son, Lance, support his
00:22:59
dad's comeback or stage an intervention? >> I think he should. >> You think he should support his father?
00:23:04
>> Well, I think in a family dynamic, I think that's the healthiest choice. Well, don't be upset because you no
00:23:09
longer have a father because >> my dad died. >> He did. >> Yes. >> But that's not the case here. Lonnie the
00:23:15
Hawk Hawkins. >> Okay. >> The Hawk premieres July 16th on Netflix. Lonnie Hawkins, three majors. One more
00:23:22
for the Grand Slam. Watch it on Netflix on July 16th. >> All right. I I'll give my advice.
00:23:28
>> You'll watch The Hawk on July 16th on Netflix. >> But if Let me say something. If the
00:23:32
visor doesn't make him better, I'm out. >> That's fine. >> Okay. So everyone at home, please watch
00:23:36
The Hawk July 16th on Netflix with Lonnie the Hawk Hawkins. >> Mountain Dew. >> Hey Bobby, America is 250 years old.
00:23:49
>> Birthday America. >> An old lady. She is a beautiful lady. And I'm telling you, why not pop a
00:23:54
little Mountain Dew while you get together with your friends this summer? Cuz it's delicious. And And
00:24:00
>> Yeah. >> And >> it's an iconic drink. >> It's an iconic drink. >> It's Mountain Dew. An American original
00:24:06
just like you, Andrew. >> Just like you. >> Yeah, >> that's right. Family fishing, lakeside
00:24:10
hangs, road trips, rounds of golf concerts. I don't care where you are. Grab yourself a do. It's tasting great
00:24:17
since 48. The bold taste you know and love. It's got proud American roots, baby.
00:24:21
>> Yeah. My parents never gave me soda, right? So, one time I went to a store and I bought some Mountain Dew
00:24:27
>> and when I drank it, it felt like pure America, dude. Right in my bloodstream.
00:24:30
>> The de You see two bald eagles flying by. >> Yeah. >> Mountain Dew. It's a great way to start
00:24:35
a damn good time. Enjoy the refreshing citrus kick of Mountain Dew and American Original tasting great since 48. Wow.
00:24:42
Look for Mountain Dew in stores near you at mountaind.com. That's mountaindue.com.
00:24:47
Whoa. Uo. Running a business means you're always reachable until you're not. And the moment you miss that call,
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00:25:59
>> So, I flip over. This is insane. I flip over my furniture yesterday. Yeah. Because my wife's like, "Hey, we want to
00:26:06
get new cushions before like my family comes in and stuff because they're old and they're [ __ ] up and they've been
00:26:10
outside forever." And I was like, "All right." So, I flip over the chairs cuz I'm going to spray them down and clean
00:26:15
them. >> Five. Right where I've sit all the time. >> I Let me guess. >> Five. >> What?
00:26:21
>> Black widows. >> Oh my god. >> Five. And their eggs are all inside the arm of the chair.
00:26:26
>> They're so rich. It was the Jackson 5, dude. >> Is that who? [laughter] Yeah.
00:26:30
>> I was like, "Were they singing ABC?" Were they singing ABC? >> Yeah. >> ABC. >> Five. [laughter]
00:26:37
Five black widows underneath. And they had eggs. Baby baby eggs underneath. >> Wow.
00:26:42
>> So, I had to look it up because I was like, "What is that? Does that kill It doesn't kill people,
00:26:47
>> but dogs. It does. >> It does kill dogs." I I looked that up. it because the venom is so the human to
00:26:54
humans I guess it's not it's not strong enough to do anything to us but it can paralyze a piece of your body if the
00:27:00
venom seeps in the right place highly potent neurotoxin primarily composed of whatever
00:27:06
>> a female black widow >> girl when >> yeah anyway oh so there's another movie that I couldn't sleep for two days that
00:27:14
Carlos saw >> what god >> what >> it's insane >> it's insane it's called Burger Infinity
00:27:20
No, it's not. No way. That's the name. >> It's called Buffet Infinity. >> It's called Buffet.
00:27:25
>> It's so good. >> Burger Infinity is so funny. Buffet Infinity. Just everyone gets sick and
00:27:30
dies from a from a buffet. >> Yeah. No, it's it's a movie. >> Oh, it's a movie. This is not a
00:27:36
documentary. >> No, it's a movie set all in commercials. >> Oh, brilliant. >> From a local town.
00:27:42
>> It's Netflix. >> No, no, no. I rented it. >> Yeah. Yeah. And it is I couldn't sleep
00:27:46
for two days after watching it and I've seen it three times since >> that's Yeah, I've seen it three I got to
00:27:52
watch >> because No, you're you're going to hate it. This is not your thing. >> What do you mean?
00:27:56
>> This is our thing. Mone liked it, too. >> U This is our thing. I guess I won't be
00:28:00
in. >> This is not your thing. >> Why? >> You're It's going to drive you crazy. And it's it's it's
00:28:06
>> that's like the fun of it. >> It's annoying. >> No, it's just it just never stops
00:28:10
commercials. It's all commercials for >> two hours. >> Oh, yeah. No, I don't want to watch that
00:28:15
story that way. >> But you follow the story that way. >> It's an interesting pitch.
00:28:18
>> Yeah. Yeah. >> But two hours of commercials is heavy. >> But then you It's like the movie They
00:28:21
Live where as as if you can wear the glasses now. >> Ah, so you're okay. No, maybe I do like
00:28:28
that. >> And and um it's uh you you look at billboards differently. You look at advertisement differently.
00:28:36
>> Who did this and how when did this come out? >> Is this brand new or it's been out for a
00:28:39
minute? >> Uh I it's pretty new. It It's a Canadian film. >> Yeah. >> Simon Glassman.
00:28:45
>> 2025. It came out. >> Yeah. Yeah. What did it get on Rotten Tomatoes? >> Second City T. So, it's produced by a
00:28:51
bunch of those Second City guys. >> Yeah, I know some people I recognize. >> Oh, that's cool.
00:28:54
>> Yeah. Can you What was the um um Rotten Tomatoes? >> Yeah, I got it. >> Okay.
00:28:59
>> 100. >> Shut up. >> Not a lot of reviews, but 100% of Rott Rotten Tomatoes. >> No, 14 reviews though. It's not a real
00:29:05
number. It's got to get reviewed. >> Yeah, it wasn't like reviewed reviewed, but I mean it's good. No, that's sick. I
00:29:11
I think I might try it. >> I mean, >> I'm going to hate it. You're right, cuz it does.
00:29:15
>> I'm just going to let you know it's a set of commercials from the small town in Canada, right? And in the be
00:29:21
beginning of the movie, it's kind of just like, you know, your bland local television commercials from small
00:29:27
businesses, right? But then as the commercials continue, it gets more nefarious.
00:29:33
>> All right, I'm going to try it. >> Yeah. Yeah. And it and then um >> It's awesome.
00:29:37
>> It's [ __ ] awesome. It really is. And it's uh it's a little disturbing. >> I like that though.
00:29:44
>> It's a Yeah, >> we need a little bit more disturbing. The world isn't [ __ ] up enough. Carlos
00:29:47
watched every second of UFC. >> Did you see that? >> For sure he did. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:29:51
>> Yeah. >> I thought like a bomb was going to go off or something. I just wanted
00:29:54
>> What? Why? What do you mean? Like an assassination attempt? >> Yeah. I'd be like, "Oh, I got
00:29:58
>> Oh my god. Dark. Dark. Insane to You're lun. You're a lunatic. >> You're a lunatic.
00:30:03
>> To see like half the government go away in one moment would be >> Oh my god. You're a little What is going
00:30:09
on with you, dude? >> It's good or bad. I'm just >> You're deep into the internet, dude.
00:30:12
>> Oh, you have Tik Tok. Oh, this is about Buffet Infinity. He was like, "Oh, it's
00:30:16
about data centers, man. That's what it's really about." >> Could be though. >> But that's Tik Tok.
00:30:21
>> I'm going to watch it >> and you're saying I have >> So, you saw an Tik Tok reviewer go off
00:30:24
about it. That's why you saw someone on TikTok talking about it and then you got
00:30:27
in your head. >> And it starts there and it ends with tuberculosis. [laughter] >> It always does. It starts, Dude, I've
00:30:34
been I've been down the holes. Yeah. >> I've been down the holes where you go, "This is kind of interesting."
00:30:39
>> MY HO MY HOLES. And I can't reveal my holes. >> Everybody's seen your holes. >> Yeah. Yeah. No, not my physical holes.
00:30:45
>> Oh, >> my mental holes, right? And my mental holes. Um, no one can hear about them
00:30:49
because I would be on a list. >> Oh, I know. >> Well, Carlos should be on a list.
00:30:53
>> You should be on a list, but I would be on some sort of list. >> You get new jeans? You did, didn't you?
00:30:57
Cuz I commented they look good. >> Yeah, I got some new uh salvage Japanese denim. I thought it was a little
00:31:02
surprise for myself because I haven't done this in a long time. >> And were you surprised?
00:31:08
[laughter] >> Yes, I was surprised. I was surprised because I >> Very salvaged, by the way. What?
00:31:13
>> They look very salvaged. >> They're very salvaged. And uh Thank you. >> from a salvage yard.
00:31:18
>> Yeah. In Okinawa. >> They were like, "Give me a a bumper of an 86 Accord in those jeans."
00:31:23
>> Yeah. >> That's a salvage yard. >> They go, "Okay, [laughter] >> but you want the car, too?"
00:31:28
>> Oh, I don't need the car. Just give me the door. >> Yeah. But um yeah, I got some new jeans.
00:31:33
It takes a long time to wear them out. >> They look very good. They're a little stiff at the beginning. They're very
00:31:36
stiff. >> You just got You know what you got to do? >> Don't tell me. I I [laughter] What?
00:31:41
>> Your pool. >> Your You got to put them in your coffee pool. >> No, I'll tell you. Can I tell you what
00:31:45
to do? What? >> This is actually a really good sneaky trick. >> Okay. >> You find a young person like a young
00:31:51
dude that like Richie or someone at the studio and let him wear them for two weeks straight because they'll [ __ ] them
00:31:56
up. He'll sleep in them. He'll live in them. I don't want Richie's enzymes in my jeans.
00:32:01
>> Richie's a clean kid. >> No, no, no. I don't care. Any bi biological matter that Richie has, I
00:32:06
don't want them on my jeans. >> Okay. What about Carlos? Would you let him rock your jeans?
00:32:09
>> No. Because you don't wash raw denim. I know that. Yes. I don't want his enzymes
00:32:15
or, you know, I mean, cells or any of that on my jeans. >> None of his epidermis should land in
00:32:20
your >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Whatever you do in my jeans, your little rave parties that you
00:32:24
go to, I don't want them on my jeans. >> You put them on and they're like, >> "Yeah, yeah." They would be like white
00:32:29
on the inside. >> Yeah. All right. >> Tuberculosis. >> Oh, TB jeans. >> TB jeans.
00:32:34
>> TBT jeans. >> No, I'm going to do them on my own. I've done them before. I'm just going to do
00:32:37
them. I went hiking in them yesterday and people are looking at me weird. >> No, that's actually smart. Hiking in
00:32:41
them. >> Yeah, because there's a And you're not going to [ __ ] believe this [ __ ]
00:32:45
dude. I'm So >> I bet I am. >> It's by my house, right? There's a little hockey hiking trail.
00:32:51
>> Yeah. >> You know that one? >> Oh, yeah. >> Yeah. And there's [snorts] a parking
00:32:54
lot. >> Yeah. >> Right. So, you for 15 years I've been going there. >> Now, they make you pay.
00:33:00
>> So, I get I'm done hiking. >> Mhm. >> You know, in these jeans. I go to my car. I got a parking ticket.
00:33:06
>> I know. I was livid about it. I went there and I was like, when have we had to pay for this? I've lived here.
00:33:11
>> For 20 years, you've never had to pay for that parking lot, for that park. Yeah.
00:33:15
>> And now they put a machine and they make you pay. By the way, it's like 10 bucks
00:33:19
for an hour. It's something insane. >> It's insane. It's a hustle. >> Yeah. And they're like, "Well, there's
00:33:23
no government regulation." Cuz I cuz I walked up to the car while he was doing it.
00:33:28
>> We got to get out of LA. >> Yeah, that park ranger. I was like, "What is going on?"
00:33:31
>> You know, Spencer Pratt wouldn't let that happen. >> He would not. No. >> Pratt would have had no machines in
00:33:35
parking lots, man. >> Hi, that's N. Is that Miss Ramen herself? >> Yeah. So, what I'm saying is is that
00:33:42
>> You know what? How do we get out? >> We got to move. This place sucks [ __ ] Let's get the [ __ ] out of here. You know
00:33:48
what's so [ __ ] unfortunate? But you want to go to places I don't want to go and I want to go to places you don't
00:33:52
want to go. >> Name a place that you want to go that I don't want to go. Name a place.
00:33:55
>> Hawaii. >> Fine. I'll move to Hawaii. I would love to move to Hawaii. But guess what,
00:33:59
buddy? What? >> Way more expensive than here. What are you talking about? >> Taxes. Who?
00:34:03
>> Everything. Everything. >> Where's the People say Nashville? >> No. That's just like a trendy.
00:34:10
>> No. No. Dude, this is real. >> People say Nashville. >> It's awesome. >> Yeah,
00:34:15
>> I could do it. Yeah. My boy Zack Townsen. Shout out to Look at I'm wearing his merch right now. This is
00:34:20
>> right. >> Yeah. >> This is paid vacation. He lives in Nashville. Look, dude. >> Kurasawa.
00:34:25
>> Oh, good merch. >> Yeah. You know him. >> Do you know him? Kurasawa. >> Yeah.
00:34:29
>> Distressed. >> That's live in Nashville >> when he had Blackfoot. >> Kurasawa lives outside of Nashville.
00:34:34
>> He lives in Knoxville actually by University of Tennessee. >> I saw a movie last night called Kraken.
00:34:41
>> You know who Kraken is? >> Yeah. >> What? >> Yeah. The the Kraken from the sea. Like
00:34:44
the creatur. >> Yeah. The sea kraken. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And >> oh, this is like one of those Godzilla
00:34:49
versus. >> No, it it was just it's a Norwegian movie, I guess. Yeah, >> I'm out on that.
00:34:54
>> Yeah, it's it's >> we made the film about the Kraken. [laughter] >> Yeah, that's basically what it is.
00:35:00
>> Like, I don't care. >> And it starts off good, but every decision everyone makes in that movie is
00:35:07
like, WHAT ARE YOU [ __ ] DOING? [screaming] >> NORWEGIANS DO traditionally make pretty
00:35:11
cool weird [ __ ] >> Yeah. >> Like, you've seen Clown, right? >> Yeah. Great. >> We should remake Clown. You and I should
00:35:17
do clown. I don't even know why we don't do clown. >> Yeah. Let the right one in. Is that
00:35:20
Norwegian? >> Oh, yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Great movie, but The Kraken, it's like it shot beautifully,
00:35:26
but I'm like, what are you Why would you do that? >> It's bad ideas. >> Yeah. Bad ideas. What we want to see is
00:35:33
the Kraken. >> And we want to see it killing and eating people. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> And throwing someone over the mountain.
00:35:38
You want to see a Kraken throw a human being as far as >> Yeah. And when they show the Kraken,
00:35:42
it's beautiful. You know what I mean? But it's like um Oh, so it doesn't exist. >> It's all fake.
00:35:48
>> Yeah. I mean, Lochness, all these mythologies are just perceptions. >> No, this could exist, especially if we
00:35:56
keep up with what we're doing. Do you know about what's happening about the sewage from Tijana flooding San Diego
00:36:00
beaches? >> Have you not seen this? The Kraken may exist if Mexico keeps dumping their
00:36:04
sewage. San Diego beaches are like you can't even swim in them now. Billions of gallons of untreated sewage and
00:36:09
industrial waste flow from Mexico down the river into Southern California. Wow. >> They said 150 out of 200 days they
00:36:16
couldn't swim in like Leo Coreo. Maybe that was it down there, right? Isn't that Leo Korea down there?
00:36:20
>> Maybe. This is my theory. >> They're just throwing their poop up at us. >> If you see a can, right? And it's
00:36:25
floating down. Open it. Maybe there's a Mexican inside it. >> Oh, there's coming through the sewage.
00:36:32
>> Look at that, though. >> Yeah. >> So, Mexico sending so much waste into into the into the ocean. You can't swim
00:36:37
in San Diego right now. It's poop beach. It's literally poop beach. >> Wow. It's [ __ ]
00:36:42
>> And there's no way there's no net you could put up. >> Here's the funniest part. They were like
00:36:46
the news was like Mexican government is working diligent. That's it right there.
00:36:50
Mexican government is working diligently on getting the waste out of the water. However, they've incurred many problems.
00:36:56
They show a video of a big poop pipe. It's leaking and they're just staring at it. Yeah.
00:37:02
>> They're just looking at a >> Well, that's what you do at a poop pipe when you first, you know, I mean, they
00:37:06
got to take a look at >> You got to look first. Oh, they're looking at and I look at them for about
00:37:09
12 to 24 hours depending [laughter] on the time I have. >> That's what it looks like from an air
00:37:14
view. That's all poop. >> Yeah, there's the >> No, all Wait, all that brown part is
00:37:18
poop. >> That's poop, dude. >> Yeah. NASA can see it from space. >> NASA can see the poop from space in San
00:37:23
Diego. >> Oh my god. >> Great wall of China. And >> that's so much poop. And that's all the
00:37:27
way up by the military base. That's so much poop. >> That's so much. You can't go in the
00:37:31
water. >> That's cool. >> In Hawaii is there's no poo water there. >> Some space. No, people don't poop in
00:37:37
Hawaii. They're too happy. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> It's just asai bowls and stuff.
00:37:41
>> That's right, dude. Just fish. >> Asai bowl. >> Mahi mahi. >> Yeah. >> We don't need to poop, brother.
00:37:47
[laughter] >> Let's move to Where are we going to move then? You just said it. So, Hawaii's
00:37:52
out. >> Okay. So, Hawaii's out. >> Nashville's one. We >> I I think Nashville for me. Um I feel
00:37:57
like you mean an Asian dude. >> I know, but look it up. Is there a Korean contingency in Nashville? There's
00:38:02
got to be. >> If there isn't, I can't go. >> We'll go there for you. I'll move there.
00:38:06
I don't care. You know, I like Koreans. >> Okay. >> Yes. There is a visible and growing
00:38:12
Korean population in Nashville in the surrounding Middle Tennessee region. Right on, man. Korean. How many people?
00:38:18
It can't be nine, dudes. >> If it's 38 or more, we're in >> Yeah. No, it's got to be at least 5,000.
00:38:23
>> 5,000? >> Oh my god. >> 2500 to 2,700. That's a lot. That's all you need. >> That That's not what I need. I need,000.
00:38:31
>> You can build a village. Maybe if I go and maybe I don't know >> you could influence a lot of careers.
00:38:36
>> Maybe I can influence it. Maybe I can run the 2700. >> What is it? >> Los Angeles metro area has Yeah. Three.
00:38:42
>> Yeah. I mean I that's you know >> you don't like many of them though. There's only half of those.
00:38:46
>> Here's what I don't like. Um and it pertaining to you and your people. >> Okay. Okay.
00:38:54
>> What What is it? >> And it's going to sound childish when I say it. It's gonna sound um
00:39:01
like I'm being racist, >> okay, >> toward the whites. >> I mean, that's fair. >> Okay.
00:39:05
>> I do it all the time to you. >> Okay. And I want to say this is when you're in a Korean spa,
00:39:12
>> me >> just in general. >> Whites >> in general. >> Okay. >> Okay. I counted. I'm just going to say I counted. Um,
00:39:20
close the steam room door all the way. >> I mean, I've never had an issue with that.
00:39:26
>> Okay. I have an issue with it. I mean, I've I was always closed the door behind. Who's not closing the door? You
00:39:30
ran into one. >> Oh, no, no, no. I counted and I would do I was in the steam room with five other
00:39:37
white dudes, >> and one would leave. I'd have to stand up, close it, sit back down, and the
00:39:44
four other dudes, cuz I stay in there for like a half an hour, right, for observation purposes only, right? Is
00:39:50
they all four purposely left it open >> and I had to get up and I thought you worked there.
00:39:56
>> No, no. So you kept getting up to close the door, right? Yeah. No, it's sensible.
00:40:01
>> Thought you were on your lunch break. >> No, no. To keep the steam inside the
00:40:05
steam room. >> I've never had a problem with that. >> Yeah, I have a problem with that.
00:40:08
>> Well, whenever I had the Russian spas in New York and the gay the little gay ones, the little gay undergrounds.
00:40:12
>> Yeah, >> we leave it wide open. >> Okay. >> Cuz every Russian one, you can do that.
00:40:18
Right. Right. But is it racist for me to say that like >> type about a race? >> No. It's because it's a Korean spa,
00:40:28
right? >> Then don't let in whites. >> I know, but you can't do that. >> Yeah, you can. You can make a private
00:40:33
club and you can let in whoever you want. >> Yeah, but they don't do that. >> Well, why don't you go Why don't you
00:40:37
make a private Korean spa FOR KOREA? >> JUST CLOSE THE DOOR. >> It's the whites only place in the
00:40:43
Ozarks. So, you can do those. >> Yeah, you can do it. >> Wait a minute. A whites only spa?
00:40:47
>> No, it's a white We talked about this on the show. The white >> Oh, the development. Yeah, I know. Yeah.
00:40:52
>> And they I only they only let me buy like one or two properties. [laughter] >> Yeah. But my point is is is Is that a
00:40:58
terrible thing? >> No. >> No. >> It's not that big of a deal. >> It's Oh, >> I think I think you found a group of
00:41:04
guys that were friends that were >> No. It's a problem. Every time I go to spa three or four times a week, I count.
00:41:10
>> That's the problem. >> I count too when I drive. It's all bad Haitian drivers. So, it's all the same
00:41:15
thing. >> Interesting. >> Interesting. What I'm When I Let me defend that. >> No, there's no defense for that. OH. OH,
00:41:21
YEAH. THERE IS A DEFENSE. OH. OH, THERE is a defense. >> Difference. >> Not for me. [laughter]
00:41:27
>> There is a difference. >> There is no different. Okay. What I'm going to say is
00:41:31
>> And you We've seen your cars. >> Yeah. You've wrecked like six cars. >> Yeah. That we've already talked about
00:41:36
this. >> Yeah. But I'm saying you're not backing. You're not going to >> No, >> we leave the door open in a steam steam
00:41:42
room. You hit people with a three-tonon piece of machinery. It's dangerous. I >> One of these things doesn't kill people.
00:41:50
>> [laughter] >> Okay, let can I may I have my opportunity? >> Factor. We you know we've always talked
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00:45:45
>> Why does your picture come up when I type in bad >> B Asian driver? That's so funny.
00:45:50
>> Asian drivers. Is it true? >> Is that AI? >> I I don't know. >> When you walk into the steam room and
00:45:54
you open the door, does it go bing dong at the Korean spot? [laughter] >> No, it makes no noise. No. All I hear
00:46:01
>> just a woman in the corner going, "You break your bike." [laughter] >> All right, let me defend Asian drivers
00:46:06
if I if I may. Okay, >> try. >> There's two China. Dude, look at this. I I understand that, right? He was in a
00:46:11
hurry. He was late for work. He was late for work. >> That'd be Japan. >> Yeah. Okay. So, here's my take on it.
00:46:18
All right. Yeah. >> I feel like that every race has their bad drivers because some a lot of times
00:46:24
Yeah. I'm driving. >> They all move here. [laughter] >> I'm a lot of times >> all of the bad Asian drivers moved here.
00:46:31
[laughter] >> That's why that's why >> Asians kicked them out of their original country of origin
00:46:35
>> because they couldn't drive. >> Yeah. If you fail your driving test in China, they send you to the United
00:46:39
States. >> That's not true. That's absolutely That's a good joke, though. >> That's how the stereotype.
00:46:43
>> That's a joke. No. >> Get out of here. >> Yeah. Okay. I You know, >> sir for you. [laughter]
00:46:49
>> I CAN'T DEFEND. I CAN'T DEFEND IT THEN. >> IT'S IMPOSSIBLE. >> YOU'RE NOT ALLOWING ME TO DEFEND IT
00:46:54
>> CUZ YOU'RE thinking about what you might be. YOU CAN'T EVEN MAKE UP. >> I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT I WAS GOING TO SAY,
00:46:57
BUT LET ME GET IT OUT. NO INTERRUPTIONS, PLEASE. >> FINE, GUYS. No jokes. >> All right. No interruptions, please.
00:47:03
Okay. >> No comedy. There's two points I want to make now. All right. Now I have two
00:47:07
points. >> Oh, it's growing. >> All right. Number one is I'm [laughter] I what? I'm a driver where stop signs
00:47:16
and stop lights are suggest suggestion. >> Sure. >> Right. >> So it's like late at night at 3:00 in
00:47:22
the morning if I'm at a stoplight and I look around and there's no one around, I
00:47:25
just run right through it. >> Like a bad driver. >> No, that's not a bad driver.
00:47:28
>> I mean, sure. >> No, that's gangster. >> That's gangster. I'm a gang. It's It is
00:47:32
illegal. >> And you're a bad driver. And I hope you hit a little kid on a bike who you don't
00:47:35
see crossing one time when you [ __ ] around and find out. >> Oh, that's a terrible thing to wish on
00:47:40
me. >> Stop running through. Stop running through lights. >> At three in the morning,
00:47:43
>> a kid could be out there. A guy, teenager in summer, it's summer. He could be riding his bike around the
00:47:46
neighborhood. >> Yeah, I have lights that come out called headlights. >> Well, now you have your [laughter] Now
00:47:50
you have your glasses. >> You can see glasses. I have headlights. Okay. And also, um [laughter]
00:47:58
I don't care about scratches and dings. Your Prius look like it was shipped back
00:48:03
here from Iran. It look like it's spent a term in Iran. >> I've already made this [ __ ] like in
00:48:08
Thailand. All right. Or you go to any place in Asia, right? >> They get in a collision, they'll roll
00:48:15
down the window and they'll go, "We okay? You okay? I'm okay." And they drive on. There's no insurance. You know
00:48:22
what I mean? Exchange >> supposed to happen. You hit people all the time in an Asian country. It seems
00:48:26
there's a correlation between the >> No, no, no. It's that we don't care about dings, scratches, and
00:48:32
>> but you're also referencing a place where the the cars are valued at probably like two donkeys and a
00:48:36
[laughter] you know and a handshake >> and an egg. Don't forget the >> egg. Two donkeys and an egg. So, I'm
00:48:41
saying here we have our vehicles are more expensive. >> Okay. In China, they do it too.
00:48:47
>> Yeah. Too many [ __ ] people. >> No, it's like, oh, let move on. Let move on. You know what I mean? That's how I
00:48:52
am. Okay. If I get a ding, I move on. But no, you do a slight little bumper tap, RIGHT? PULL OVER.
00:48:59
>> Pull over. >> Right. And we exchange cops come. I mean, what the [ __ ] are we doing here?
00:49:03
It's insane. >> Make up your own Korean only. >> All right. So, that's number one.
00:49:08
>> What was number one? >> That was number two. >> Can you [laughter] summarize it?
00:49:12
>> Oh, number two is this, right? There's two types of drivers. Okay. In every >> drivers and everyone else.
00:49:18
>> No, no, no, no. [laughter] Yeah, I've driven behind Armenians and and they drive white people. Remember the bumper
00:49:24
sticker I said the other day? If you get too close, I slow down. >> Yeah, >> it was a white person.
00:49:28
>> That's funny. >> Yeah, I know it's funny, but she really means it for you to put that in on your
00:49:32
car. >> Different. It's a she. >> Yeah, >> they're all that. Okay. So, what I don't
00:49:37
know what you're doing. >> All right. So what I'm saying is is that um you know there's a lot of but then
00:49:44
you look at [ __ ] Tokyo Drift Fast and Furious Sun Kang they can all drive. >> Yeah, but [snorts] he's the exception.
00:49:51
>> No, no, no. That's the exception to the rules, right? Some of us are >> the one the one guy that was an F1 Yuki
00:49:56
Senota, he got he got out. He's gone. >> Yeah, I know. >> He couldn't keep up. >> Yeah, he can keep up.
00:50:01
>> No, he didn't. Obviously, he didn't. He's gone. He's no >> Versappen. Okay. >> I'm telling you, dog. You guys are the
00:50:10
wor I don't know what it is. It's in your genetic code. It's not even like a >> Are we good at math?
00:50:14
>> Huh? >> Are we good at math? >> Yes. Some stereotypes are good. Some are not good.
00:50:17
>> We're better at school. >> You're better at school. >> You're sitting down. That's
00:50:22
>> How about engineering? >> It's just a room. >> Engineering. You guys are great.
00:50:24
>> Oh, I can take bad driving. >> Yeah, it's the wor Yeah, you're the worst. >> The car, just don't drive it.
00:50:28
>> Yeah, you can build the car, just don't drive it. Very good. >> That's a very good. Yeah. Okay, good.
00:50:33
The AI says I have confirmation bias. >> Confirmation bias? Yeah. >> What does that mean?
00:50:40
>> Yeah. Perce uh it's a people hold a preconceived stereotype. Selectively remember
00:50:44
>> it's preconceived. Okay. >> H >> Yeah. >> You're you have confirmation bias. >> Okay. I've been Another thing that I
00:50:50
want to say. All right. And I'm not defending anything myself included. Right. >> But I'm a master of the male naked body.
00:50:59
>> Yeah. >> Okay. >> I mean you're one of them. Yeah. >> Yeah. And I go to the spa all the time.
00:51:03
>> Sure. >> I'm going to go to one tonight. >> Okay. >> Okay. And in in the spas I go, there's
00:51:09
every race and I've seen every penis size. >> Yeah. >> Right. And the stereot I saw one Asian
00:51:15
dude with a button penis. >> Okay. It was so small. It was like this. I wanted to murder him [laughter]
00:51:23
>> because he's the guy he's the guy. >> Confirmation bias. >> Yeah. Confirmation. Yeah. Confirmation.
00:51:28
He's the guy that we all have the stereotype. Some d white dude saw that dude, you mean in Pearl Harbor or
00:51:34
whatever and spread that rumor. >> Sure. >> Yeah. I mean, it was like American propaganda or whatever.
00:51:39
>> It worked. >> Yeah, it did work, right? >> We all heard about it. >> Yeah. Yeah.
00:51:42
>> And so, um, >> it was that and Marilyn Manson removed a rib to suck his own penis. [laughter]
00:51:46
The same kind of rumor. >> Yeah. Yeah. Same kind of rumor. >> And they worked. >> So, what I'm saying is is that But I've
00:51:51
seen a lot of Asian dudes are carrying a lift a heavy load. >> Sure. I have >> I would say there's probably a few guys
00:51:58
out there doing okay. >> I No, I I would say I compare to Now the Blacks for sure.
00:52:04
>> Yeah, they're pretty good. >> No, they're the best. >> I've seen them. >> Yeah.
00:52:08
>> You know what I mean? Can we talk about this even what we're saying? Okay. >> Is this this confirmation bias or not?
00:52:13
>> I don't Yeah, it's not confirmation bias. It's reality. >> Yeah. Right. >> Imagine being a black guy with a small
00:52:20
penis. >> So sad. >> Yeah, that would be the saddest sad cuz being an Asian guy with a small penis,
00:52:25
big deal. Make a joke about it. Make a career of it. >> Well, you >> being a white guy with a small penis,
00:52:29
big deal. Go get money and you'll be fine. >> Yeah. >> Being a black guy with a small penis,
00:52:33
>> it's sad. >> All your other black friends are going to go, "Damn, dog." >> Yeah. What happened?
00:52:38
>> That's a bummer. >> Yeah. >> That's just that you just got to be >> But I I'll tell you this. So, I I used
00:52:45
to belong to some porn sites >> for my masturbation activities. >> Yeah. I don't do it anymore.
00:52:50
>> We would assume. Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. We never thought you were >> Yeah. researching.
00:52:54
>> Yeah. And I there's one that I had saved with a black dwarf, >> right, with that's in the porn
00:53:02
>> and his penis was triple the size of any other penis I've ever seen. >> That's so funny.
00:53:06
>> Yeah. So it's like even the dwarves have big ones. >> Hey, God God was on something. He built
00:53:11
him >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He built him different. >> He built him different. Yeah. He goes,
00:53:15
>> "What if I just make his penis huge?" >> Yeah. >> Don't do that. Don't >> You're not going to be able to play
00:53:20
basketball. >> Yeah. [laughter] You're still not going to be able to swim. >> Big BDLP.
00:53:28
>> Yeah, >> the BDLP. Oh, >> there's an LP love show now. >> Oh, >> bring this up. There's like a new kind
00:53:35
of reality little person love show. And I'm so excited to watch it. Little Person.
00:53:40
>> Is that TLC? >> I [laughter] It's got to be TLC. >> Little Oh, wait. >> Oh, what's it called?
00:53:44
>> Little Singles. >> Little Singles. Yeah, Little Singles. [laughter] >> Little Singles.
00:53:49
>> Little Singles. >> Little Singles. Wow. >> Oh, >> yeah. You know, craft cheese, you know,
00:53:56
they're called singles, right? The single slices. >> Yeah. >> I like that. Two more. It's a
00:54:00
>> How is there only five of them >> on a dating show? Oh, there's more. >> Uhuh.
00:54:05
>> No, that looks like Yeah. >> No, that's only those five. Those are the main five. I think they're all like
00:54:10
friends or I have no idea. >> That's 80% of the population. [laughter] I mean, how only five? Well, because
00:54:16
they all have to fit up in that tree. No, but it's I I think they're looking for the best looking.
00:54:22
[laughter] >> They're making cookies. [laughter] >> Are they making cookies? >> Yeah. Where's the chocolate?
00:54:30
>> Yeah. >> Stop it. Yeah. >> Look at it. >> She's never gone to a grocery store.
00:54:36
>> Yeah. It's too high. Do they give them Do they give them What do they give them? Full apples when they get on those
00:54:41
couches. Give me a full apple, dude. [laughter] Can't do half apples. Well, she's never been to a grocery
00:54:48
store. >> She had anxiety about being an L. >> Well, dude, imagine those shelves are so
00:54:51
big. >> Yeah, I can't even reach. >> I was going to say he can't hit the top. >> Yeah, I can't hit the top. I have to
00:54:55
ask. >> You mean my girlfriend's 510? So, I go >> She can do it. >> I go get that.
00:55:00
>> That's so funny. >> Yeah, I don't care. >> I do want to watch this. What? It's on
00:55:04
Netflix. What is this on? >> Yeah. >> TLC. >> Little singles, >> man. TLC keeps making bangers, huh?
00:55:10
>> Yeah. >> Pool looks nice. Yeah. This cup in the water. I want When is Sex on the
00:55:16
Spectrum going to happen? >> You just want to watch it. >> Don't you want to watch it?
00:55:22
>> No. [laughter] >> You don't want to watch it? >> No, but I'm teeing up your joke in my
00:55:25
mind. >> Yeah. >> I can hear it in my head. >> Yeah. >> Like I can literally hear the joke.
00:55:30
>> Yeah. Yeah. >> It's a great joke. >> Okay. >> Can't say it. I guess. Well, it's in the
00:55:33
special. >> It's in the special. Yeah. >> Right. >> Yeah. >> So good. >> Yeah. >> Well, the World Cup's going on and I'm
00:55:39
so sorry. Do you think USA You're a You are a diehard football fan. Do you think
00:55:43
USA has even a shot? I I'll tell you who's not going to win. >> Who? >> Brazil. >> They look terrible.
00:55:50
>> Okay, good. >> Spain has the best. >> Spain has the best chance. >> Their midfield is so old. I can't even
00:55:54
believe it. >> Okay, dude. We are plus 3,300 right now. >> Yeah, >> that's a great bet.
00:56:00
>> I just put 10 bucks on that. >> You would? >> Yeah. >> There's no way it's going to happen.
00:56:04
>> Yeah. >> I mean, because I know I know football and I know France's team and I know
00:56:09
England's team, I know Portugal's team. Um they're just they're it's like >> the longest of the long shots. We're the
00:56:17
longest of the long shots. >> They just have their bench their bench is a World Cup team.
00:56:23
>> Sure. >> You know, so it's like um >> again I know nothing about >> Yeah. I mean I mean France has Mbappe. I
00:56:30
mean they have uh Dembele. They've got really good players. Dude, >> is Muganu on that team?
00:56:35
>> And Muntu Yeah. is on He's on the bench. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Mbappé is French. Yeah.
00:56:41
>> Where's he from? >> France. >> Which one? [laughter] >> The one in Ghana. >> Yeah, that sounds right.
00:56:48
>> Yeah. Yeah. Well, even Bowan from the US team was just born in Brooklyn but never
00:56:54
lived here. >> Yeah. He moved and moved. Yeah. He to London. Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yes. And then
00:56:59
>> but it's where you're born is what you can do. Or your parents. >> Well, he has dual citizenship, but he he
00:57:04
wasn't going to get on >> the England squad. >> That's bad news. >> Which is cool because he's like, "Oh,
00:57:09
[ __ ] it. I'll just play for America then. >> Yeah, I would do the same [ __ ] It's
00:57:12
like what Eileen Goo remember she play she rode for China even though she could have rode for us.
00:57:16
>> Yeah. And I'm rooting for him because he was at the Arsenal Academy. >> Oh, >> and they let him go.
00:57:22
>> He wasn't good enough. >> No, they sometimes they >> he's not good enough to be a gooner.
00:57:27
That's just how it goes. No, but I'm but listen. Ez was in the Arsenal uh academy, got let go, played for
00:57:37
shitty teams, finally got on Crystal Palace, and then Arsenal made him offer when he was 27 years old.
00:57:43
>> Wow. >> So, Bagan can come home. >> Bagan can come home. That'll be a song they sing.
00:57:48
>> Yeah. Bagan can't come. >> Bagan can come home. Yeah. >> I love those songs. The fact that we
00:57:53
haven't adopted that even a little bit in the States and any of our sports blows my mind. We still got the [ __ ]
00:57:58
wave. >> We still got the [ __ ] wave. Every time I go to a Dodger game and they
00:58:02
start it, I go like this. No. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or the hand, the gigantic hand.
00:58:08
>> Cut it out. >> I have 15 of those at home. >> Stop it. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Do you know where the wave started, by
00:58:11
the way, though? >> California. >> Why? >> Should have. Wouldn't you think it would
00:58:16
start here? Started up north. >> The Beach Boys. >> Wouldn't it be nice to start a wave?
00:58:22
>> The wave started up in San Francisco. >> Wow. What if >> Oh, Oakland. Sorry. >> Okay. What if somebody started it and
00:58:28
they're like, "What the [ __ ] are you doing?" >> It's a guy with Tourette's >> and no one does it. And they're like,
00:58:32
"What the [ __ ] are you doing? I'm trying to start something." [laughter] >> Like, who's how do you do it? Do you
00:58:38
have to >> That's him right there. Crazy George. He's >> You have to have a group of people know
00:58:42
what you're doing, >> dude. He's so loud. He yelled so loud. They said you could hear him at home
00:58:46
plate from the outfield. He would scream so loud. >> Look at him. >> He was He was the man.
00:58:50
>> Yeah. >> And that Spirit of Oakland will be dead now because now they're in Vegas. Oh,
00:58:55
dude. I I I'm also tired of USA chanting. >> You like it? >> Love. [laughter] >> Sometimes when I'm hooking up with my
00:59:03
wife, I go USA. >> Yeah. I Something about it. I'm patriotic. >> She salutes me.
00:59:10
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I [laughter] know. I know. I I'm patriotic. >> Pounding away. And she's
00:59:17
>> She plays the >> But especially in >> taps taps for me. >> Especially when they're in the
00:59:22
>> tapping at S. Espec Especially when they're in the Olympics and you're like yelling USA and
00:59:28
then you're sitting next to like a country that isn't, you know what I mean? A first world country,
00:59:35
>> right? And then it's just like if I'm like in front of my house and a homeless
00:59:40
guy walks by and me go, I OWN A HOME. I OWN A HOME. IT FEELS LIKE >> Wouldn't that feel good to do?
00:59:47
[laughter] >> It just feels like bragging. >> Yeah. Well, if you had any context to
00:59:52
all the wars that we've been through and what we've >> I have the context >> to fight to be this place. Yeah. We're
00:59:57
going to yell it in your face. >> It's the best country in the world. We're going to yell it in your face. And
01:00:00
especially because all these other countries go, "You're not the best." Okay. Then why are you both here?
01:00:06
>> Huh? Why are you here? Go home. Get out of here if you don't like it. You like
01:00:11
it? >> Whoa. Dude, I don't like this. >> I like it. Best country in the world. >> I don't like it. This new [laughter]
01:00:16
>> USA. USA. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I love it, dude. What does Korea say? >> USA [laughter]
01:00:25
even during a Korean match. It's crazy. No. Um I don't know what they say, but um
01:00:35
South Korea unofficial universally recognized national chat. >> Clap clap clap clap. We all do that.
01:00:41
>> Crap crap crap crap. >> It's Oh. Oh, it's >> No, that's actually cool. >> Yeah, [applause]
01:00:49
>> I like that. Let's do it three times in a row. [applause] >> You're right. I like it. I totally get
01:00:59
it. Hey, hun mean fans of Korea over here. >> I'm going to do mine. >> What is it?
01:01:04
>> Clap once. All right. I want to gra. >> All right. Clap once and go. Right. Clap
01:01:12
three times. A thumbs up and another. >> Here we go. >> Wait. Write it down. Write it down
01:01:17
because I forgot what I said. Clap. Ooh. Clap. Clap. Clap. Ooh. No. Thumbs up. Ooh.
01:01:24
>> Yeah. So, I even forgot. >> Clap. Ooh. Clap. Clap. Clap. Ooh. Thumbs up. >> But clap. Ooh. Clap. Clap. Clap. Ooh.
01:01:34
>> Ooh. With a with a thumbs up simultaneously. >> Okay. Zoom in, please. Clap. Ooh. Clap.
01:01:40
Clap. Clap. Thumbs up. Ooh. Ready. >> Here we go. Ready? One, two, THREE. >> NO. SEE, YOUR RHYTHM'S OFF.
01:01:48
>> NO. I I You're too fast. >> You're too fast. You were above me. Ready? One, two, three.
01:01:53
>> Clap. Ooh. Oh, I had to clap. [laughter] I just read it. I just read it. How these shows go. This is my
01:02:03
>> That's why we can't work in the business. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Ready? One, two,
01:02:06
three. >> OOH. >> NO. THUMBS UP. OOH. >> I thought it's a simultaneous. >> No. No. No. No. You thumbs up and then
01:02:13
Ooh. >> Okay. Here we go. Right. Right. One, TWO, THREE. OOH. >> [laughter] >> THANK YOU FOR BEING A BAD FRIEND.