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Bobo's Pandy Conspiracy Theory | Ep 14 | Bad Friends with Andrew Santino and Bobby Lee

May 18, 2020 / 01:17:40

This episode features Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino discussing various topics including gaming, conspiracy theories, and personal experiences in the entertainment industry. They also share humorous anecdotes about their lives and interactions with fans.

Bobby expresses frustration about his friend Eric Griffin's gaming style and their plans to play Warzone together. He also shares a story about his date nights and the challenges of maintaining relationships during the pandemic.

The conversation shifts to their experiences in the film industry, with Bobby discussing his role in David Spade's movie and the emotional impact of being cut from scenes. Andrew shares his own experiences with being edited out of films.

They touch on the pandemic's effects on their lives, including the desire for normalcy and the challenges of social interactions. Bobby also shares a story about a kind gesture he received at Starbucks.

The episode concludes with lighthearted banter about race, identity, and their comedic careers, showcasing their friendship and humor throughout the discussion.

TL;DR

Bobby and Andrew discuss gaming, conspiracy theories, and their experiences in the entertainment industry with humor and personal anecdotes.

Episode

1:17:40

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you two are bad friends who are these two idiots white dude i'm an asian dude you two

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are disgusting oh you two or something we're bad friends can i play you a song to start

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the show why i want to play you a song you can do whatever you want it's your show baby oh boy it's you you make all the

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decisions i'm going to do this i'm going to do i'm going to come up with these little games that we do call-ins and these

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little sketchy sketch things and i'm going to choose the bad friends colors and the background

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and okay i'm going to change i'm going to do the art direction can you imagine and and then bob you just show up okay so

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why do you even ask me

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i mean it's see what i mean there we go yeah is it nothing about my flat face or

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nope okay did you sing it no this is a kid named

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amphu it's a remix from last week's episode is it that is that is that is it

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weird isn't that not only that is that this is that is

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[Music]

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is [Music]

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that's really good i don't have enough problems oh get [ __ ] that's such a fun song that some guy did

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rude do you like it yeah yeah you do because i'm going to say this you [ __ ] live in my house

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rent free baby and you pay her and i pay you and i feed you all right

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so how about one time you're [ __ ] how about one time you're [ __ ] side with me oh papa's angry

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shout out to um my friend raymie and branson and frankie they live in georgia and we play warzone together

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shout out to you guys we took number one one time during the week what's up babies

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it's shout out to my georgia [ __ ] uh warzone buddies on on online what's up babies yeah what's up

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babies yeah you know the thing is which the thing is is that

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this is that this is that is that um i've been uh trying to get you to play warzone but now you won't play because

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of the fact that um fatty eric griffin put posted online i

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don't want to be on youtube yeah we're not gonna because i'm not that good when we play we're not gonna go online so will you

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promise me this do you play tonight yeah did no promise me this that you

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play tonight or no i can't play tonight why because i have a thing what thing it's date night tonight

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really at midnight i'm asking we're supposed to be [ __ ] then oh so you [ __ ] every friday night no no well

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we [ __ ] a lot of nights but i'm saying we do it because the pandemic has kept us in the house and we don't like have any normal lives

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we've been doing date night once or twice a week so we arrange a nice night to get

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dressed up to make a nice dinner to like like not just do the like the tv sit around

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[ __ ] off things well what about then saturday night war zone baby okay saturday night i'll play it's at

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midnight whenever whatever time you want to play or if you're not on dude i'm done with this podcast great okay oh don't roll your

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eyes because i'm being real stupid because i've been asking you all week and i i get hurt i tell all everyone you get hurt but you sit

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there with eric griffin chumming around with grip are we gonna go in here bobby here we go we're gonna go get the money bobby hey bobby he's

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leading you around that game and you're letting him do it it's making me sick it's making me sick

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i know i understand that i don't like what he does i don't like it i don't like it either but bobby we

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gotta go over here to get this day cash drop yeah i don't like it though put it in

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the box and make it a balloon go how do balloon go up i know i don't like it i don't like it either and then you put it on youtube

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asking you to play i will so that we can weed him out he's going to get so mad when you know what's going to happen i don't

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i don't know what you think that i feel good about a fatty fat [ __ ] like him leading me in a war we're gonna

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get here's what's gonna happen hey baby he goes hey baby let's go into that [ __ ] uh mcdonald's right there and wait wait for the i know what he's trying to

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[ __ ] do half of the game was spent in fast food for something i know he always wants to go to those [ __ ] like abandoned [ __ ] fast food places

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i don't know why because it's like rem it's like an old ptsd thing yeah i don't know so hey tell me before you left to go

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outside you think the pandy is um a conspiracy well you know here's the here's the

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thing uh bobby me yeah you're bob yeah i don't know much

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i re i you know i read i read articles on on the web yeah i watched the news the you know

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maybe it's the fake news i have no idea well it's all fake pretty yeah and and and i'm getting i get pulled

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one direction right because for me my foundation is i'll admit is i you know papa's a

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a liberal i'm a liberal you're a liberal yeah and um so then i kind of generally listen to oh

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yeah i'm on this team but there are sides of me now that is being

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pulled in the other direction well what led you to this what article did you did you wrote well it's just

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i just i sometimes i listen to like joe rogan and all those kind of brian callan and those

00:05:45

guys well don't listen to callan that's a that's a foolish mistake that guy's a [ __ ] and then i just as then joe rogan

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you know he said that maybe that he's going to move to montana or something so he can do

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stand-up and stuff he wants to move because he has enough money to go wherever he wants yeah if you were that rich wouldn't you

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just leave i would have left a long time what would be the purpose yeah like paulie flew to

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hawaii i would fly to hawaii too yeah he's in hawaii right now speaking of hawaii and your shirt look at you got a

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hawaiian shirt on i watched your movie last night and i called you didn't i uh oh god

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i watched so dave listen david spade is a new movie called the wrong missy on netflix we're g spade's our homie we love spade he's our

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buddy swartzen is in it who by the way so funny and i texted nick i go very

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funny in the movie he goes it's the fattest i've ever been and i go i don't i don't it is the fantasies probably

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yeah definitely but it's not that he was fat he's not fat in it it's just i think um bloated it looks like that he like jimmy

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he was regular-sized and he died went into the ocean they found him and then you know over the week the the

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the ocean water made him bloaty that's mean he's our friend that's mean he's our friend oh then it

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looks like instead of that it looks like that he uh it was a regular guy right he got real

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hungover right and then just ate a buffet in vegas for 24 hours straight

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and then flew to hawaii to shoot and then no and then went onto a ball got shot in the head went to the water and then he got bloated

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i called you after i watched the movie and that you bro put me in a [ __ ] bad mood i heard you in a bad mood

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i said this let the [ __ ] let's let the fans decide then i said this phrase my wife and i said

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an under utilization of your talent it's a bummer that i didn't see more of you that's a

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compliment bob that's saying i wish i i wanted to see more of you i i was since the year 2000 i've been

00:07:44

auditioning for adam sandler movies i auditioned for a bunch of them uh the pixels did you go

00:07:51

for that yeah a bunch of zohan a bunch of stuff okay and i could never get into his

00:07:57

world you know i memorize the lines i go in there i could never get into a movie and that's a dream like i just want to be in

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an adam sandler movie yeah okay now you are so then last summer spade calls me goes hey man

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will you do one line in my movie in hawaii and if anybody had asked me that yeah i'd be

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like ah [ __ ] yo you would

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if i asked you you'd do it for me there's rare occasions i would do it for you yeah but most people most people i just be if

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especially if my agent called me goes this one line he'd even talk me out of it probably and go

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i i don't think it's worth your time but spade wanted you to do it he called you directly yeah spade called me and i and i go

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one line i go i don't and he goes it's a big favor to me and adam and that was like to egret no adam

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sandler oh the other adam who produced it so i go ah [ __ ]

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maybe this is my way into that world and and you know i went i went there and i was kind of just like

00:09:03

i have one line so it was no pressure i didn't i slept fine that night you know so usually when i'm i've been in a

00:09:08

movie before did you stay in that hotel that you guys shot in no it was a different hotel that they

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shot but my point is is then when i showed up um i'm on set

00:09:20

and you know you see all my friends are there watowski love him he's so funny so funny um

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lapkus yeah spade yeah and i'm um and i i do i do wife sandler's wife i do

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one take right and then i hear cut i shouldn't be talking about this i'm

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gonna i i'm done this isn't bad it's not bad i know i shouldn't be talking about this but

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um i hear cut and then i see on my peripheral vision mr sandler come across you know what i

00:09:52

mean to come to me you gotta do it a different way yeah yeah and it's just not right

00:09:59

whatever i'm doing is not right the vibe wasn't right what he wanted yeah i think i was making because you know and back in the mad tv

00:10:06

my tv days if they gave me a line i would do everything i can to get a

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laugh from that one line well that was that was the job right right that was so even if it was like you know welcome to mcdonald's right i

00:10:19

would go you know do something you know maybe i'd do a stutter or you know me do what you would do i would do

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something to get especially in front of a live audience do whatever i can to get a laugh you'd go welcome

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to yeah you'd do it huge but i didn't do that it's a movie so i

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go you know i'll just play as real but try to get a ben it's just every take was like it's too broad it's too

00:10:42

i don't understand what you're you know it just wasn't working so what you see in the movie is

00:10:48

as you know what i did and um it hurt my feelings feelings have you

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seen the whole film you haven't watched it no no so you don't even know what it is

00:10:59

oh i've seen the clips that i they sent you the clip people fans go

00:11:04

you got a line and you find that condescending i find it to be um listen

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i'm not like some of these other comics that you know are trying i'm not like

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i don't want to [ __ ] name anybody okay don't name anybody but i've done a lot of tv shows and yeah

00:11:27

movies it's it's not as if it's my first rodeo baby

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and i um so you know by doing one line i'm doing a favor i'm trying to like

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go you know what try to be in service yeah service the film service the film

00:11:47

yeah that's the movie and um i did that but in retrospect

00:11:52

maybe i shouldn't have done it well here's the thing and you've been in those situations before bob come on bud i have the

00:11:58

you wanna you wanna you wanna have the fans get a real good laugh go ahead and watch uh james franco's the disaster artist which is based on

00:12:04

the movie the room which is one of the worst movies of all time uh your boy is in four scenes

00:12:10

i'm in the first [ __ ] scene like the first thing you see it's my big [ __ ] orange head guess

00:12:16

what i say what nothing this is i go like this and they cut me out

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i have literally zero dialogue yeah you see me about to say something four times nathan

00:12:27

fielder and i had a whole bit in an alleyway gone i was so mad about it

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i know like so hurt by it i know you were that i genuinely wanted to say something

00:12:39

to franco and be like my guy i respect what what people do when they cut a movie and things end up on the

00:12:45

editing floor that's how it goes but then don't show me

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what do you mean well don't show me and i don't say anything all right don't show me cut around you

00:12:58

yeah don't show me i don't cut around you that's good show me but if it's a wide shot and your little orange head because it's

00:13:04

not it's hard it's not hard to miss hey you're ugly orange head vfx can do wild cool stuff you could

00:13:10

have just done something right get rid of me get rid of me cut around me it's

00:13:16

you know you know how television a film works you do not because you do a thousand takes there's a way to

00:13:21

cut around how cool is it though right that i was a part of it no but how cool listen to this logic though

00:13:27

let's suppose i directed a movie right and i just i directed a movie and i had tom hardy

00:13:33

in it but i cut out all his lines yeah but he's still in it yeah and people are watching and go oh

00:13:39

tom hartley he that's how cool bobby lee's movie is that even tom hardy is an extra

00:13:45

yeah but that would that's tom i'm me that's tom hardy he's a [ __ ] superstar i'm trying you're a superstar too no i'm

00:13:52

trying to comedy who has been originally trying billboard only billboard is huge yeah louie fitzsimmons not he doesn't have

00:13:59

hair anymore neither of them do okay louie yeah brad's or there's a bunny louie burr uh fitz fitzsimmons uh

00:14:07

um carrot kathy griffin kathy griffin uh lucille ball r.i.p

00:14:14

yeah um there's a lot a lot of redheads you're right and you're like the last

00:14:20

one i'm seventh no you're probably you're the you're up there no my point my point is

00:14:25

i have no disrespect to james and to seth and those guys i i think seth and evan i love those guys i wanted to be in

00:14:30

part of their camp too just like you want to be a sandler yeah the the thing that broke my heart was i i went to the [ __ ] premiere

00:14:37

dude did they didn't tell you before you went to the premiere they don't tell you oh my god if i was in the audience and i saw that

00:14:43

i would probably kill myself right there in the theater so i almost did i mean i i can't imagine you in the

00:14:48

theater watching the whole thing and what was going through your head oh that's joy so here's what happened here oh i look at it

00:14:54

i went to the it was at the man's chinese theater it was out to premiere uh your uncle uh your uncle chung man owns it and uh

00:15:01

wong man sorry the wong man and i went to the premiere we sat in the

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very far back corners me and the me and my uh my lady and um and the movie starts and i see it i'm

00:15:14

kind of get into and then i think oh okay okay well they didn't use me at this front scene even though i had a really funny line

00:15:19

to james it's okay and i see the next one i was like [Laughter]

00:15:25

yeah i was at the lunch table i thought i had some really funny lines to june diane raphael you know who she is right yeah

00:15:30

and then i thought uh and then me her and paul shearer and um davey franco were in this other

00:15:38

room together and then i thought well this scene literally calls for us to make fun of the other scene it's us

00:15:44

it's us yeah and um and then nothing there and so then i get

00:15:49

to the fourth time i come on camera and i was next to you i would have been laughing

00:15:54

the whole time and i get so hurt by it that i mean this as we're leaving yeah i had a full

00:16:02

fledged panic attack my blood pressure went up i couldn't i couldn't see i was getting like i couldn't breathe so i grabbed my wife's

00:16:08

hand and i was like let's go let's go immediately like let's get in the [ __ ] car and what did you get the [ __ ] out of here she was she was so bummed for me

00:16:15

she was just super hurt she was like it's okay she goes do you want to show your face at the party because you people that don't know after you do a premiere you have to go

00:16:21

to this after party did you go no i went right to my house and i sat in my [ __ ] bed and i'm not kidding i didn't sleep for like two days because i

00:16:27

was just like this must mean i suck this must mean they don't like me this must mean i'm [ __ ] dog [ __ ]

00:16:33

all the dude like tortured me over and over and then a piece of me was like and then i felt bad that i didn't go to the

00:16:39

party oh am i a [ __ ] why wouldn't i go to that party now they're gonna be like that guy's a [ __ ] [ __ ] he didn't even go to the party

00:16:44

all of that stuff was going through my head and you know come to come to know that those guys don't give a [ __ ] they have to do what they have to

00:16:51

do it's like they didn't do that on purpose it's a thing it's nobody cares that's my point is like

00:16:56

it's over it's in the past it's not there was no reason for it it was just it was what it was but i've always wanted to be a part of a

00:17:03

camp i think that's the problem of course we want to be a part of schwarzenegger's in the sandler campus

00:17:09

but he's been in there first i know but i'm saying though you know ken jones in the camp which camp what was he in he's more he's

00:17:16

he's in the apatow that kind of camp no he's not ken john no he's not he not really he

00:17:22

ken just gets a lot of work he just gets work he he's hangover got him a lot of work he's not in like a camp camp like schwartz and

00:17:29

those guys i get it all the guys that do sandler films uh schneider they're all in the same space they're all in the same that makes sense

00:17:36

and and evan and uh seth and evan do a lot of the same kind of people franco and his brother and

00:17:42

yeah yeah dude those are great places to [ __ ] be we had to create our own camp that's the point well let's create our own camp i'm lazy

00:17:49

i don't know how to do it who would be in your camp oh [ __ ] i would uh my camp yeah what am

00:17:55

i in it oh yeah 100 right on if i had a camp let's say i was a full-fledged writer director let's say

00:18:02

you had a huge studio deal with your universal gave you a huge like ten picture deal and they're like bobby you got a stu you gotta you have a

00:18:08

bungalow on the lot you can you can hire writers and actors and directors who are you picking wow that's difficult

00:18:17

but um i would probably do you i would to try to help my friends

00:18:23

that i think are really good that don't work as much as they i think they should who do you think is really good that doesn't work rosenbaum

00:18:28

yeah mike i think michael rosenbaum is very funny i've got to text him back i have to text him back about doing a show yeah i feel bad i just remembered that

00:18:35

yeah i would probably sasso easily one of the funniest people i would use this also

00:18:41

the standard but a lot of chicks too i'd probably use um you know i like melissa viensen you're a

00:18:46

lot one of my one of my closest friends yeah there would be a bunch but um i love her probably who jay cataprida maybe would

00:18:53

you hire griff of course i'd have to as well as what security

00:18:59

you know i mean how you going the lot and he was he's the one that checks the id you got to pass you got about yeah you

00:19:04

can't get on the lot man stand to drive on yeah you've got to put another list man or let me call let me call

00:19:10

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slash bad friends that's right that i i think i already told you about

00:21:41

just i've had so many problems at those gates oh it's it's endless for people that don't know when you go up to a gate warner

00:21:47

brothers universe or one of these lots yeah they have to check your id and you have to have a drive on pass to get your car on there and if they don't

00:21:52

they embarrass you and they make you pull over to the side well everyone dude just like scans in yeah and they have to call and go yeah he's out here

00:22:00

it's it's i i just pitched with howie mendel and joe coy before the quarantine yeah and i was at um he was in netflix

00:22:07

or someplace like that and i'm at the gate and i'm telling them i'm on the list like you're not on the list

00:22:13

man get out of here you just get out of here shut up i'm not kidding you i could get out of here i

00:22:18

swear to god i'm with howie mandel he's he just texted me right you go no you don't know my i wouldn't

00:22:24

get out of here what do you think you were like and then i hear how we go hey bobby lee i go like this and you

00:22:31

could see the security guy's face go just drop and go all right

00:22:36

did this guy have like a vendetta against you no it's just i don't look like i should be in showbiz yes you

00:22:42

do no i don't yeah you do no you do i know i was at a hotel rooms me jordan peele and arden marine were

00:22:48

publicizing um mad tv and i was at a hotel

00:22:54

yeah and i just sitting outside and the security guard comes up to me goes get off the premises shut up that's

00:23:01

the first thing comes out of those i go what did i do what why my only guess because it was in a really nice hotel

00:23:08

right and i always look you know i mean like i'm a black market pineapple smuggler

00:23:15

you know i mean yeah just like shady yeah like i have a human trafficking business on the side yeah you're up to something you're

00:23:21

driving it you're driving a a u-haul for some reason and without even asking me are you a guest or anything like that

00:23:27

his opening line was get off the premises or i'll call the police i like this guy no but i'm just saying

00:23:33

that i just have that vibe i think i don't fee i don't look oh there's nothing i was i did this nickelodeon

00:23:39

show once and i show up to paramount and um the late i go to the lady and she goes all right

00:23:45

in this room and i go what room i'm bobby lee she i know in this room

00:23:51

so i go in the room and it's like 10 000 extras and i wanted to say to her you know i

00:23:56

was a principal on it yeah yeah but instead of saying that i go okay and you just did it

00:24:02

i just sat there for an hour why would you do that so that that kid lady would get in trouble you wanted to get this woman

00:24:07

fired because of your device yeah so then my agent calls me i'm sitting there and she goes where are you i got that

00:24:15

i'm here i've been i was here early i was i'm in the [ __ ] extra stable because what

00:24:22

yeah that lady the blonde lady with the thing sent me here and then she comes out to me and she

00:24:27

goes are you bobby lee okay yeah you're the one that's yeah i

00:24:32

told you i was but you're not supposed to be i go you sent me in here and she got in so much

00:24:38

trouble she probably got fired i don't give a [ __ ] don't do that that girl is probably making like nobody know who's coming know who's coming who's coming

00:24:44

no who's coming i've done so many of those little weird things i can't do that though why it's too mean

00:24:49

it's too mean i just i who cares sometimes when someone goes that i've been treated like that oh

00:24:54

i show up for a show fight for yourself when i did the second episode for this is us when i tried to when i went back

00:25:00

there yeah get there to do their rematch

00:25:06

it's like a comedy club not letting you win your headline i don't care enough i care it's disrespectful i didn't do

00:25:15

right ten years of open mics you did i know i did yeah but i didn't do it you could still

00:25:20

use a couple more to be honest um maybe i will move to stop

00:25:27

don't move maybe i will so what do you believe what do you believe the conspiracy by the way you believe that uh this is this is bologna pony pudding

00:25:33

pie i don't believe that oh [ __ ] let me play you something um let

00:25:39

me play something your your lovely girl sent me this as you know okay this is something that

00:25:46

we this is something that we have on the show here you this was from before

00:25:53

this is you this is tutti this is 2d bobo that's how i wake up this is 2d bobo

00:25:59

this is waking up at about 2 45 this is we played this a couple weeks ago [Music]

00:26:06

there he goes come back this way come back this way

00:26:20

i really like that yeah yeah that fart that fart she she's so turned

00:26:27

off on my farts that you what i do at nights i have a system now it's so gross i know i have a system

00:26:32

because i have a very tight butthole well a guy named spencer tritt did you a favor so what i do at night can i just

00:26:38

finish what i'm my point so what i do is i take both fingers when

00:26:44

i have to fart oh boy and i spread my cheeks as wide as i can to create the biggest opening

00:26:49

and it goes like a like a loose queef it goes oh like that and then i trapped the fart

00:26:55

in the blanket and i but did you know this and this is science yeah

00:27:01

no matter how long you trap it stays it's dead okay i know it doesn't go away so i don't know you know

00:27:06

i show it to biology class or something but you know that's science you learn everything new every day you know so mean i know it's

00:27:14

so gross what are you gonna do i'm old my body i think i the mechanisms

00:27:19

but you work you just roll over get out of bed fart and get back in that's what i do i get out get out far when you get off the bed if it's going

00:27:26

to be a bad one if it's going to be a bad one do you ever think when you fart into the mattress does it stay in there how long like

00:27:31

i think about that how many pool particles stay inside of there oh probably a lot so many yeah yeah listen to what this

00:27:36

boy did for you for that that that fart sound this is how good this is another [ __ ] techno kid sent us something that i'm i'm amazed by

00:27:44

[Applause] listen

00:27:55

how good is this so good it's really actually good it's this kid's name is fractal beef rudy you like it

00:28:04

[Music] shout out to spencer tritt

00:28:16

[Music] it's so good i mean that's really a

00:28:25

really talented fan dude that's the point so many talented fans thank you so much thank you for that kind of stuff man you have so many

00:28:31

talented tell me about tell me seriously tell me about your conspiracy shout out to raymie and uh you once said you watched ranky from

00:28:37

georgia you watch rogan you and you bought into the thing that you believe that it's um i told rudy before that they did a study

00:28:43

in the philippines that he talked about on there in the philippines they found that people that have higher levels of

00:28:49

vitamin d had seven times uh the chances of having a less severe covid infection you know

00:28:56

they're saying sun helps a lot yeah vitamin d guess who has the highest yeah vitamin e from the sun what has it

00:29:01

had the orange yes the oranges redheads have have have super high levels of vitamin d

00:29:07

why do we produce high levels of vitamin d yes because of the sun because we're not going to take yourself to be outside

00:29:12

yeah so our body naturally soup like a superhero i make tons of vitamin d wow i didn't know that i tried to google

00:29:19

it to try to find out if any redheads have died from covid yeah and they don't categorize you by hair but they should

00:29:24

they should you know but they do make a point that if here's a i i want to be mindful

00:29:31

and i i i i really feel even well how many we've had 80 85 000 deaths

00:29:37

in this country a lot of people so sad a lot of people have died and it's devastating and i feel so bad for their families uh

00:29:44

but we but they're you know when i talked to adam igit yesterday i talked to him yesterday too what time did when did he say that the

00:29:50

comedy store might open september me too you said that but here's the caveat september caveat means here's the

00:29:57

exception of the rule do you really exception to the rule [Laughter]

00:30:02

the caveat he said was that it's going to be half capacities in most of those rooms and they won't be able to open all of them anyway so what that really means is

00:30:11

what i said the other day before you get into your your honest truth depiction i said to rudy before

00:30:17

the show i said i believe in my heart i'm not trying to sound like a crazy person

00:30:23

i believe that it's real it is all real but i do think they're not telling us something and it's gonna

00:30:28

when it does come out it's gonna [ __ ] blow it's gonna be the scariest world-changing event wait wait you think

00:30:33

that i think they know something and the reason that they extended our stay for indoors for three more months is because they can't tell us something

00:30:41

that you think that i think you think it's a lie or you think that you know that chronovirus can mutate into

00:30:47

something even crazy i think there's a bigger detail that we don't know about i think international [ __ ] i think there's international

00:30:53

conversation between massive world leaders and essentially in my stupid dumb

00:30:59

make it up while i'm running in the middle of the night i think this was a threat it was a this is

00:31:05

what's going to happen you think this was a biological weapon that was 100 a biological weapon that the ching

00:31:12

chong's created to destroy america i don't even think it was them actually if i'm being honest irish

00:31:18

no the irish are the greatest people on earth that's right okay i wouldn't do that my bad no but do you know that the lab in wuhan the sister lab is in south

00:31:23

carolina here in the united states they actually did not they actually disproved a wet market theory that's not it didn't come from a wet market

00:31:28

yeah i know i believe that it did come from a lab not only did it come from a lab nobody knows where that lab which lab it

00:31:35

came from it didn't it's not the lab in america how do you know how the [ __ ] would you because it happened in wuhan first

00:31:40

it doesn't matter dude that's that could be the way that they start that viral viral spread if they contain it they

00:31:46

could have these are sister labs we don't know what we're talking about we don't i think they don't they're not

00:31:52

telling us one big thing and at the end of the year they're gonna go [ __ ] here's what's going on with it there's

00:31:58

we got a huge pick something up make something up they said here's what's going on yeah kim jong-un

00:32:04

called up some of his homies they [ __ ] plotted some [ __ ] they broke into a lab in the middle of the night and these these chinese lab

00:32:10

guys are like what do you do here and then the korean the [ __ ] north koreans are the [ __ ]

00:32:16

choked them the [ __ ] out what and they took the vial and they why are we spread it over we're i'm

00:32:21

laughing with the accent first go ahead what the korean why we well because the

00:32:26

chinese what do you do here and the korean guy is like that's

00:32:32

japanese and they're but they're there too because it's not the first thing that they would say if they walked into a lab what would we do here what do you do

00:32:38

here that's not the first thing and then the korean guys go for north korea and they grab the vile so racist and

00:32:45

yeah they break it and it starts to spread oh [ __ ] yeah they were sent there by people from around the world it was a world war ii

00:32:51

that's what happened that's it seems like as a war is about to break out world war iii [ __ ] that's what's gonna

00:32:56

happen that's what's gonna happen i sound like sam tripoli yeah you do you're the one that doesn't believe in it i believe in it i just

00:33:02

know they had there's something they're not telling us yeah they're not telling us something but if okay what there's

00:33:07

what i've read is is that the fastest we've ever come up with a vaccine is four years

00:33:13

yeah they said it would take two years to get it there two years to get this vaccine at the earliest yes okay there so we have to

00:33:20

now go do we quarantine until then or should we try to adjust and and go out

00:33:27

and and and live our lives with this pandemic you want to just go out and live

00:33:34

you can be honest that's not it's okay to say yes you do you want to go out and and live

00:33:42

rude do you want to go out and live she doesn't no because when we walked this is [ __ ] look at that she instinctively you know

00:33:48

what she just did her today we're we left the house yeah and my friend jeff a dear friend of mine jeff who i forgot

00:33:55

his last name do i know him okay never mind your dear your dearest friend jeff

00:34:00

jeff flank my best friend i don't know his last name let's make up a name yeah jeff bulbus

00:34:07

jeff balbus jeff bulbus we hired my friend jeff because um we got a bunch of furniture

00:34:13

i'm sure you did i don't know i don't know how to build i know you're not gonna build that yeah you need a handyman yeah so we're paying

00:34:19

this guy to build it so he was in the garage and as we walked out of the house jeff goes what's up man

00:34:24

i go jeff and then [ __ ] rudy

00:34:30

don't even get close to him don't get close to him he's my friend no no no no no he got i

00:34:35

think he got that don't don't get the clothes do you think he had the rona no but still you have to be six feet

00:34:41

away oh were you really she's one of those clinical like did you hug him no well i was supposed to he was

00:34:47

doing this thing he went to hug him you went to go hug that was my when you i'm sorry instinct instinct and

00:34:53

you said uh don't don't yeah yeah it's like if i saw a samurai i would bow you know maybe

00:34:59

that's my instinct because of my old traditional you know training you know ronan as a

00:35:04

ronin as a ronan yeah yeah so you so what happened did he he went and he hugged him or no no did you snitch no she will snitch

00:35:12

she's a [ __ ] snitch this little one did you snitch no look at me did you snitch no she had no child town

00:35:19

time because we're so she didn't snitch to kalila you know but she is a snitch and it drives me crazy she's not on my side

00:35:26

she told me no ally she told me she collects notes in her phone about all the stuff that you do that she's going to hold against you she's got black a blackmail note folder

00:35:33

yeah but hereby we haven't paid her yet i know we need to pay her no we'll wait we shall wait write it down

00:35:40

we'll wait that's true that we need we need to we don't need no we're brown mailing you

00:35:46

yeah but i don't you know you know um you know because callan and rogan and some of these guys well those guys

00:35:52

calen and shaub and theo those guys all get together they all get together well they don't care but to be

00:35:58

but to be fair and then it's like whitney is that whitney will have stevo and a bunch of people coming to her spade's at her house today

00:36:03

i know i saw and it's like you know and we don't do well you went to her house

00:36:09

i went to her house yeah yeah yeah yeah i went your house i was one of the first ones to go to her house yeah but um but that was that was more because uh

00:36:17

she's she's like a lonely lady that she's very sad she needed someone to come over and tim dillon and i went over there to could sold her

00:36:23

she said will someone braid my hair and you have to go braid her she it's so funny because whitney

00:36:28

cummings is like um yeah i'm gonna just buy a house in the middle of nowhere you've been out

00:36:34

there it's so far away so far away in the middle of nowhere and then when you go to her house it's like

00:36:40

look there's no houses around yeah i know and i'm like you're a [ __ ] witch now

00:36:46

you might as well have that pot and you stir it you know i mean you're like the crazy boy she sits outside

00:36:54

in her backyard and she talks to the coyotes yeah come closer coyotes

00:36:59

and she's got 52 dogs too many [ __ ] dogs right one of her dogs bit somebody did she

00:37:05

tell you that no no no yeah she'll tell you yeah i don't know which one of the [ __ ] one of the dogs bit somebody but you

00:37:11

know what they're p people are one here's what i think people just want to feel normal right like we had two people

00:37:18

come over for the in the backyard and hang out and we just stayed in the backyard nowhere near each other and i missed it

00:37:24

so much there's so many i missed it so much just like

00:37:29

and then when they left it was like this weird like okay bye and they had to like you know it's just

00:37:34

people want to feel normal again that's all it sucks yeah you know i in the beginning when

00:37:40

the quarantine happened i'll go this is nice this is cool yeah and i'm gonna say something that's

00:37:46

i don't know if i say it what it was nice about it is the

00:37:52

competitiveness went away with other comics oh right you mean like the

00:37:58

right like petty those resentments and that jealousy and all that stuff had

00:38:03

stopped because we were all now in limbo right we're all kind of on the same page almost on the page like no one can do

00:38:09

stand-up right now no one can sell out stadiums right you know and in the beginning i'm like this is

00:38:15

good we're all like at the starting line or whatever or we're all in the penalty box right we're all in this yeah we're not

00:38:20

in play right that's good but now i miss the competitiveness of life

00:38:26

so much yeah i miss you know getting things and not getting things i i miss i miss

00:38:33

having something to complain about like when you go when you're like i got to go to this [ __ ] audition i got to drive all the way over here

00:38:38

i liked it like i i complained about it but i loved it it was so much fun to just like

00:38:43

because it's something to have in your life it's something to like fill occupy your time with emotion now it's

00:38:48

like a still it's such a [ __ ] still numb thing that you're trying to find

00:38:53

some [ __ ] to do it's driving me [ __ ] insane i ran six and a half miles last night i was only supposed to do four and i was

00:38:59

like whatever i'll just keep going there was nothing to go home there's nothing to do with the house war zone

00:39:06

yeah but this was at 7 p.m i know okay you don't you're not playing before 11. yeah i'm just telling you that like you

00:39:12

said that you were good at first person shooting i am i am good at first-person shooter games i'm not gonna be let around by eric griffin that's all

00:39:19

okay i'm not gonna be let around by him oh by the way before i forget we got our video a

00:39:24

response back from our girlfriend rose no yes oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i can't wait i can't wait

00:39:31

ladies and gentlemen boys and girls raycons are my favorite earbuds of all time

00:39:36

they are i like the button on the side where i can press and change the the song you can do the song the volume

00:39:42

the volume and all that stuff it really they're really futuristic looking they feel comfortable in your ears they're my

00:39:47

favorite of all time they're nice and small and snug a lot of these other com competitors of bluetooth earbuds are are

00:39:52

super expensive and they're big and chunky these are nice and tiny they hide in your ear bobby has two in underneath his

00:39:58

headphones right now right that you can't see the they're half the price of most of the premium earbuds that are on the market right now

00:40:05

and don't drop you know five six seven hundred dollars on them their earbuds are comfortable the most affordable ones

00:40:10

i i couldn't even believe how cheap they were i'm being honest with you no seriously it is it's extremely uh they're extremely

00:40:15

affordable as the best word to say they're stylish and discreet there's no like wires and all that stuff their newest model the everyday e25 earbuds

00:40:22

they are the best ones they gave me and bob summon i tried them out when i was running and i do like when this company was comf

00:40:28

co-founded by ray j ray j and celebrities are obsessed with it like snoop dogg

00:40:34

melissa etheridge brandy jr smith yeah you know them yeah you know

00:40:40

you're good friends with them yeah now is the time to uh to get your hands on these honestly if you want good earbuds they're the best raycon

00:40:46

fifteen percent off your order at buy raycon.com bad friends guys buy raycon.com 15

00:40:52

off raycon wireless earbuds i can't say it enough they're phenomenal go to byracon.com that friends

00:40:58

yeah okay so this will this will be good ready hi bobby hi andrew this is me

00:41:06

rose uh how are you guys you know what i always believe that

00:41:13

love is more than a gender it's more than anything actually

00:41:20

love islam i just want to say that i'm very very very proud of you guys please

00:41:27

please please always stay strong most especially that your adoption

00:41:36

will come true i love you guys and always stay safe okay love you

00:41:43

how sweet is that yeah very nice we have to do another one how

00:41:50

many more can we do with her we should have to keep asking her to do every week we should do one you want to do another one yeah let's do

00:41:55

one i want i propose an idea just a very simple things that doesn't

00:42:00

make any sense can we just tell her just say lulu lala

00:42:05

lulu like some weird like thing like lulu magic this is the thing she might not say it bus magic bus

00:42:11

magic bus happy for two tooth magic busters yeah yeah happy that's it happy for two toot magic yeah

00:42:18

we'll do that happy for two two magic plus that's it and that's all that's all we want okay

00:42:23

so we'll do one now for next we'll do one next week and we'll get her but that was very sweet of her that was really nice that she did that

00:42:29

she's got the fan blowing in the background hi bobby hi oh she's so sweet

00:42:35

she is so nice what a sweet girl you like her yeah do you do does she remind you of home kinda

00:42:41

yeah she does yeah she misses home you do should we send you back

00:42:46

can we send you back right now we tried to buy you a flight that one time we couldn't buy you a flight what about a boat how long would it take

00:42:53

to vote like what do you miss about home what i mean what what's in the mic jewels all right no get your

00:42:59

mouth to the mic what do you miss about home um my friends your friends and then my dogs your dogs

00:43:07

oh that's so so that but did you notice she didn't say her brothers well she's two

00:43:12

little brothers she hates how old are they um six and seven

00:43:17

yeah those are that's the worst they're little [ __ ] they're little idiots they they smell like poop i know right they

00:43:23

have [ __ ] all over they suck um last week we got a lot of hoorah for uh

00:43:30

for the fire stand-up comedy of andres rosende this dude is was a beast right i want to

00:43:37

show you we found something um from his earlier days of trying to get movies produced

00:43:43

you're gonna [ __ ] really love this by the way look at he was he did a kickstarter by

00:43:48

the way it got funded ten thousand dollars he asked for and he got it and this is

00:43:54

it [Music]

00:43:59

he directed it yeah this is a kickstarter would you push

00:44:05

pause for a second just i want to let you know the way the reason why i know andreas in the first

00:44:11

place is i knew him as a director you did yeah because what this is how i met george i met george and andreas at

00:44:17

the same time so years ago i was at maker studios i remember and i met george yeah and then when the first

00:44:25

sketches he told me i know this really good director from spain and he's going to direct the

00:44:31

sketch so he directed me in a sketch did he that's how i met andreas he's he's great so let's see

00:44:37

well this is the patreon to get the movie funded i'm sorry this is the kickstarter get the movie funded

00:44:58

all right

00:45:05

[Music]

00:45:15

hello kickstarters and welcome it will hopefully be the set of my new movie mr bear my name

00:45:21

is andre locende and i'm an mfa from country at columbia university and mr berry is my business

00:45:27

film needs now to face the biggest decision

00:45:33

of his life either go ahead and get rid of the bloody corpse or become one himself

00:46:07

as you can see this is gonna be a kick-ass movie so if you wanna know how the story ends

00:46:14

please we need your support because even now they beg for money for the next 20 minutes um it got it worked

00:46:22

we have to see this movie what we have to do is during this how about this during this coronavirus yeah this

00:46:28

pandemic let's have andreas write us a short and shoot it let's shoot it

00:46:33

i'm 100 down i'm being real so am i the jewels has to have lines in it yeah do you want to do that if andreas

00:46:42

wrote a movie a short with me and andrew would you do it maybe it's a quick heist thing where you're trying i'm a korean

00:46:48

jeweler or something and you're trying to yeah and i try to rob you yeah something like that i take you hostage yeah

00:46:55

or maybe like there's just one scene in a movie you're a jeweler and you're going to check on your store because it's been shut down during the

00:47:01

pandy yeah and you see that i'm breaking in there and i take you hostage and like dog day afternoon do you ever see dog day

00:47:07

afternoon yeah you never saw it yeah i loved it yeah really yeah who's in it dog day afternoon um al pacino was in it

00:47:15

and you know who else was in it is john cassette is that his name

00:47:21

john cavettis is that what is his name what's his name that's it yeah and dog

00:47:28

day afternoon is they they train they try to train dogs

00:47:33

they tried dogs to race is that what it is have you ever seen it for real how did you you [ __ ] of course

00:47:40

i [ __ ] seen it they try to rob the bank and then what happens and it's a true story and all that it's a fumble

00:47:46

they fumbled this bank robbery all day right and it's a true story i even saw the documentary based on the guy so

00:47:52

let's do our dog day afternoon yeah but so you and i we have to find a bank to do it no we'll find a bill we'll

00:47:57

find a studio we'll do it inside of a closer so you and i are in cahoots we're both bank robbers we don't that we don't find that out to the end

00:48:03

oh right i'm a teller then you you you no no not a bank jewelry oh jewelry i'm a jeweler yeah and you work

00:48:10

with me in the jewelry and i hold both of you hostage right and the police come and there's this hostage negotiation and we fool them to

00:48:18

thinking that if they just give me what i need i'll let you guys go but in turn you're working with me and we have an

00:48:25

escape plan and rudy is the one that gets us out of there she's in the helicopter she nobody knows

00:48:30

she can fly a [ __ ] she's like i'm from philippines i don't know yeah next end of the scene and she's like come on drop it down

00:48:36

let's go hey red i don't know why you come in do you i'm going to have that accent i don't know why you come into my

00:48:42

jewelry store to try to rob me and my friend what's my what am i playing who's what's

00:48:47

my ass i don't know you make it up okay uh uh okay hey wait you hold me up first

00:48:52

uh you oh

00:49:00

what the [ __ ] what are you a franken franken orange don't do that i was

00:49:07

attacked be real all right all right yeah yeah hey you

00:49:13

stupid asian piece of [ __ ] whoa put your hands up oh you too lady put

00:49:21

your hands up no my god oh you're so scared don't call the cops if you hit that

00:49:26

panic button i'll shoot both of you in the face give me all the jewelry okay where's the

00:49:31

diamonds in the vault take us to the vault no no put your hands up uh we'll go both of them and then yeah

00:49:40

i just did yeah there we go i'm [ __ ] you in the ass right now

00:49:47

yeah i have a pointy dick and the cops come yeah all right okay we'll have just have

00:49:53

andreas write it okay i'm being real though because i got some i have to figure out something creative to do in this

00:49:59

this this podcast ain't doing it for me no i love it no i'm grateful for it and i i would die

00:50:06

without it but you just want more you want more i want to be able to do more because i just during the weeks they just blend together i don't know

00:50:13

what day it is sometimes i know it's really [ __ ] sad man well honestly it's hard to be even funny in this [ __ ] situation that's all

00:50:20

we're destined to do some kind of movie or something together we need to do something we need to do something yeah this was somebody found footage of us from a long

00:50:25

time ago look at how great this is this is us uh this is this guy doug

00:50:31

bento sent this to us this is us on a game show from many years from the i was not in the game yeah that was

00:50:38

i remember that can we refer to someone as yellow we consider them to be what

00:50:43

[Music] chinese not chinese over to jerry and murray no yes jerry um cowardly is correct

00:50:52

vulnerable when we find someone to be yellow what

00:50:59

are they uh chinese not chinese over to the chinese kid oh cowardly how great that's like one of

00:51:08

the greatest clips i've ever seen also it's like what do you think that kid got cancelled

00:51:13

no you can't get the cameras and can't catch in the 80s yeah yeah can we refer to someone as yellow we consider them to be what

00:51:24

yeah and when the guy says no yeah probably ninety percent of america's like what is it then it is chinese yeah it is

00:51:31

chinese by the way you could tell this is britain by the way oh yeah british

00:51:41

[Music] look at how bummed he is i i know he's

00:51:47

like it is chinese watch when he gets when he says chinese he goes no watch his face not chinese over the jerry

00:51:53

oh like oh yes it is that's what my dad calls them all the time

00:51:59

yellow bastards yellow bastards get off our lawn yellow bastards yeah

00:52:04

hurry no yes jerry um terribly howardly is correct and then during the

00:52:10

commercial break that asian guys go to the orange you're right [Laughter]

00:52:16

like just to make them feel better i probably you'll probably rise yeah we agree we agree but you know how

00:52:21

weird that this that of course and look at his little face is looking over like oh i hate [ __ ] little i i know he's crying no

00:52:27

he was hating on the gym on the red hat can i just say something when in school you don't think that when i saw that kid in school in my class i went

00:52:36

[ __ ] chongchongs because i hate asians like that why because those are the ones that [ __ ]

00:52:43

up the curve do you hate asians like that root yeah you do yeah i'm the one that people cheat off of

00:52:50

and we all fail right right but everybody wants to cheat okay yeah so there's two different types so

00:52:56

you're the other i'm the other type the dumb one but you don't like them because they're they're they're they're making they're they're

00:53:03

progressive they're doing the they're too smart they're just like there's you know a lot of asians are very sciencey you know

00:53:09

and mathematics they're good at mathematics right yeah but you have to understand that in every country you have coal miners as well

00:53:15

sure and i come from that lineage what about you i don't know are you a math girl she

00:53:22

gets straight a's why do you hate this she gets straight a's why do you hate this kind of asian um

00:53:27

there's a lot in my school and they're like very like they think of a lot of asians stupid so

00:53:33

they think if you're not like them you're stupid yeah yeah i remember going to um

00:53:39

i was in rehab in my junior year in high school yeah and when i got out of school i remember

00:53:44

the teacher our teacher history teacher goes to the class so bobby just got out of rehab she makes

00:53:51

an announcement why would she say that because i miss bunches and um discuss how you know the journey

00:53:58

that you just had yeah i just was on drugs and i i know i'm sober she made it in front of us a chinese guy raised his

00:54:04

hand because why do you have to do drugs in the first place

00:54:10

and i remember turning the guy go you [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] so you don't i think the same thing

00:54:16

i'm that guy that says yellow youth yeah yeah yeah you're more racist than i am i did i i

00:54:21

honestly do you want something to wipe up that coffee no that's fine [ __ ] honestly dude it's just like i

00:54:28

don't even really identify with it what do you identify as not like i'm i more identify with um

00:54:36

a strain like a strange guy do you forget that you're asian until someone says

00:54:41

something i don't even think of it do you ever think jewels do would you ever think of your that you're asian

00:54:47

no yeah we what white people don't get is is that when you wake up you don't go

00:54:53

ah i'm asian you don't think that the only one of course you don't think that i'm saying

00:55:00

you're not it's not conscious until someone says something about it yeah you realize you know like my friend

00:55:06

pk sent a put a post off on his instagram and there's a bunch of white chicks in a

00:55:12

mall and they're like what kind of race would you never date it's all these white chicks going asian

00:55:18

definitely gross right right yeah and those are the moments where i realize oh

00:55:24

am i different yeah very yeah what very i said very

00:55:29

i know you said that but what do you mean by that because like black people are cool and they have all

00:55:35

that they have they're cool and they have culture and music and and mexicans are fun and they have good

00:55:41

food well that's yeah and like great cars great style

00:55:46

yeah and and you and you guys are um just buying up land and you're gonna

00:55:54

come here to pay the land and we're so much more than that i know dude i'm clearly [ __ ] kidding

00:56:00

around no you know you're you're stop it stop it you know how much i love asians some of

00:56:05

them some of them some of them yeah which one which one which one do you think i don't

00:56:10

like the most you know you know hey vietnamese no

00:56:17

japanese no korean no chinese no wuhen no oh

00:56:23

cambodians yup no really no

00:56:29

i don't hate anybody i don't have time to do that [ __ ] yeah what a waste of my time i hate people not racist there's a lot

00:56:34

of people i hate there's a reason to hate the person it's not because of their race i i feel

00:56:39

the same way in a weird i forget that i have red hair until someone makes a joke about it right it's really [ __ ] it's like this

00:56:47

it's not the same as when someone makes an asian joke to you but it's annoying to me in a way where i go well i'm not allowed to be mean back

00:56:55

yeah because then i'm a bad guy yeah you know it's it's so interesting that that it's like

00:57:01

without that we would i think we would get along better i think as you know it's like but we need to be

00:57:06

different i think i know we need to be different but why bring it up why do people bring it up and then they draw lines and then you

00:57:13

know they they say that this group of people that look like this are less than this group of people

00:57:18

because i think that when you're when you don't when your life is not that fulfilled and you're kind of

00:57:24

dumb or average that's a point of conversation it's a point of life that

00:57:29

you can go you know like my buddy's mom was like you know at that grocery store

00:57:35

yeah there's lesbians yeah and it was like it's a and of course to to us in our world you go

00:57:42

yeah so what and to them in their little insular world they're like no i mean you know we don't see a lot of

00:57:48

lesbians over here it's like they're always at that store it's a point of conversation but you know what's funny it's just something to

00:57:53

talk about it's that you know everyone says that you're a product of your environment whatever so it's like

00:57:59

basically you know if you were born in a christian household yeah you're probably going to end up being a christian right most likely but

00:58:05

like the opposite but my parents were always anti-whatever i was into

00:58:10

right like i remember as a kid my dad just put pounded his hand on the table if you're ever gay i kill you

00:58:19

right and i remember going wow that's really yeah what's wrong with that right i

00:58:25

never thought that any race or any gender or any position sexually was a [ __ ] bad thing

00:58:33

because it doesn't matter but i know but i was never conditioned to think that i just i feel like i was born i kind of

00:58:39

analyzed the world around me and things that made sense and didn't make sense and came to the conclusion

00:58:44

that why does it matter about one's gender or what their sexual preferences yeah who cares

00:58:51

or race it doesn't matter but my parents definitely had you know an ideology and their own set

00:58:57

of you know but but this but this is to play devil's advocate though we our ideology is everyone's cool and

00:59:04

it's okay and do whatever you want 50 years from now maybe they'll look back at us and be like god they were so

00:59:11

[ __ ] stupid the way that they looked at that i don't know what theirs is going to be yeah but it will probably end up being

00:59:18

like even calling you a redhead would be like saying the n word

00:59:23

it is it is no it's not it is to me no it's the exact same it's an ugly look ginger that's that's ginger ginger is

00:59:30

the n word uh with different discrimination yeah it is it's the different letters you know it's a weird look

00:59:35

people just does it look weird though yeah good people just want to feel like they have something to say

00:59:41

people elevator music people weather oh god it's hot out they

00:59:46

want to just talk about stuff my neighbors to me i'm washing the cars yesterday i'm washing me and my wife's car in the driveway i

00:59:54

like it it's like nice i put in my headphones my neighbor does this thing am i taking my hair yeah she goes you

01:00:01

could do ours next yeah what am i supposed to say now i

01:00:06

have to play along with her thing that i don't like i have to go you got you go it's 300 bucks a car i

01:00:13

have to do that yeah because if i really go if i go what what the [ __ ] are you talking about no

01:00:19

i'm not gonna that's a stupid thing to say don't say that and then put on my headphone then i'm the mean guy

01:00:25

so i i know brings up something that i don't want to

01:00:31

talk about like if somebody comes up to me a stranger and goes wow um i really like that shirt you're

01:00:37

wearing yeah i'll just go no shut up i really will you if somebody goes where

01:00:43

did you get that shirt bobby that hawaiian shirt it's cool where did you get that no [ __ ] you i really i really will why

01:00:50

or i won't even answer ask me again whoa those pants are cool where did you get those who makes those

01:00:56

bop makes those no oh the company know but no i don't want to talk to you i don't want to talk to you something

01:01:04

like that yeah spiral yeah i have a face of ask me directions people always come up to me yeah uh

01:01:10

hey uh excuse me sir yeah uh what's up how do i get to second street and gardner oh

01:01:15

so easy do you have a smartphone an iphone yes okay um open it up and then type no no no no

01:01:20

i want you to tell me right no i'm telling you what to do with your phone type in how do i get to sunset gardner

01:01:26

and then when you're done put the phone right all the way up your [ __ ] yeah you know what you know what happened to me this morning uh that i

01:01:32

feel really good about what i pull up to the um starbuck starbucks i go to starbucks drive through i get to

01:01:39

the window and uh she hands me the food and i go to hand her my card and she goes it's okay

01:01:45

the car in front of you already paid for you wow you know one of these like oprah things you know pay it forward

01:01:51

yeah and i was like oh why did they do that and she goes um i don't know and then my head goes

01:01:58

they're tight they're fans they're bad friends or you're keep well my first unfortunate thought is did they

01:02:04

see me and they know me yeah but they're in front of me through the rear view they couldn't have yeah yeah no way they did but then i thought

01:02:11

this could be because of the pandy people are trying to be nice to people and pay for other people's [ __ ] so then i said to her well should i

01:02:18

should pay for the people behind me right yeah yeah but i had a very lit she goes i mean if you want to and i go

01:02:24

yeah of course i will let me do that let me pay for the next car yeah but in a larry david moment when she goes away to go get the total

01:02:30

i felt like this is so a larry david i literally go what if they got a lot of stuff i don't

01:02:36

want to pay for a lot of stuff like i could hear larry david being like did they just get coffee yeah yeah

01:02:41

because if they got more than coffee i don't want to pay for i'll pay for just their coffee yeah and that would be a larry david moment right they would go they'd get up to the

01:02:47

window they'd hand them and they go that guy took care of your coffee um the food he didn't pay for and somehow they remember him they run

01:02:53

into him later it's such a larry demo so i called uh jeff schafer who did this season of curb and i told him that i go

01:02:59

if you use that i want [ __ ] credit cause it's i can see larry doing that thing but i paid for the meal i paid for the people behind how much

01:03:05

was it i don't know i didn't even ask yeah but she's you know whatever i paid for it and i hope in my head

01:03:11

people kept doing it all afternoon oh what a sweet guy no because that's really [ __ ] cool that's a

01:03:16

nice thing to do to make it because here's why if it wasn't the pandy i'm not doing that but the pandy is

01:03:23

making us go hey man times are [ __ ] yeah yeah yeah this is something fun to shift it up

01:03:28

yeah you know like it's just fun like there's something about it when you go to a restaurant and they go

01:03:33

um hey we're big fans of yours it's on us oh god you have to take it so much you have to tip so much money

01:03:38

that's why i you know i go you have to tip so much money when they do that i know what i say is this i go no i'm

01:03:45

paying for it the reason why is because especially if it's a restaurant that i'm going to come

01:03:50

back to oh right i don't want them to think that oh here he comes again for a free meal

01:03:55

there he comes he's been here for twice a week you know what i mean to get the free meal so i tell them that i go don't pay for

01:04:01

me because i want to come back yeah i'll still give you a big tip don't worry about it right right but i don't want to feel pressure of not coming back i want to

01:04:07

come back right they're like sir this is your eighth time this week at this pfc you have to go somewhere else i just i

01:04:13

was on i was took my i took my wife's parents off for dinner at a really nice steakhouse and they brought us wine and after the

01:04:20

guy he comes up to me kind of like over my shoulder they can't really hear so i thought and he goes hey man

01:04:26

i just i'm a massive fan and this is like such a big deal if i don't want to bug

01:04:32

you now but after dinner could i get a photo and i go yeah totally no doubt on the way out just you know wait till we're done like done

01:04:37

eating and then of course no big deal and then he comes up and the manager comes up and he's like great to meet you

01:04:43

in front of my wife and her parents and it's like we took care of the bill and i was like [ __ ] [ __ ] i know

01:04:49

because now i'm like you have to get you you have to tip in my opinion

01:04:54

you have to tip double double the bill right right double the bill so whatever the bill was two times that has to go to the server's

01:05:00

pocket right yeah which is fine it's just it's a forced hand yeah i would have tipped him well anyway

01:05:05

but now you're tipping 200 of what the bill was right and then we take the photo and

01:05:11

it's one of these moments where we're not getting the photo doing oh could we something's wrong with the thing and it's

01:05:16

lasting a long time yeah and now people are looking at me and for everything in the world i wish i

01:05:22

could have just given all the money for the thing and ran out as fast as i could just give him the money and be like i

01:05:29

can't take a photo i'm sorry i gotta go yeah something's wrong at the thing yeah it was just uncomfortable it was just weird i don't like i don't like those

01:05:36

moments here's what i don't like too at a restaurant where the waiter will go so the chef's a really big fan right

01:05:41

[ __ ] you so he made something special for you right so you already ordered your meal yeah you don't and then

01:05:47

the waiter comes with a boar [ __ ] thing now yeah the chef's just

01:05:53

sitting there like that yeah you have to finish it you have to finish it that i don't like

01:05:58

i don't like it either here's what i do like what when people just uh do a subtle thing knowing that i know

01:06:05

that they know i think that's the coolest thing when they go like i've had i've had a guy go like this in a restaurant he just goes like this

01:06:11

like oh i love it's like fight club yes it's like five o'clock yeah you know i know okay

01:06:17

we don't say anything when we went to hawaii with my mom before the pandy yeah we did the road to

01:06:24

hana and then we wanted to go to mama's fish house but if you ever been to mama's fish house yes it's a two-month reservation yeah you

01:06:29

can only get in if you know someone that can get you in right so we drove i tell you this story no okay so i we drive up and i go

01:06:36

to the hostess and i go um hey um four she yeah reservations i go no and she

01:06:42

goes sorry it's a two-month reservation like that and she looks me right in the

01:06:48

eyes and i kind of blush but i go all right guys let's get back in the car but then the valets they go well you

01:06:56

can't get in i go no hold on i had a valet run down to the hostess and i could see that from before him

01:07:02

yelling at her right it was the best right yeah and then she calling the owner of

01:07:08

whatever yeah and then she goes she had to go all right you get prime t table right

01:07:15

right this way oh how awesome so we go to the table and this is the best yeah and i love that's why i love

01:07:22

podcasting yeah waiters and waitresses would walk by me

01:07:27

and whisper nosotros papaya or hail the slap king that's so

01:07:34

you know and it feels i love and i love those fans i mean i love mad tv fans and

01:07:40

if they like me in a movie or whatever yeah but our podcast friends people that we hang would hang out with that's great

01:07:46

it's great yeah no i love it it really is i do love what i i i love it when all you have to do is be cool and don't

01:07:52

make it fun don't make it weird don't say a weird thing and that's why that's why when i

01:07:58

raymie and those guys i play at um my buds right warzone with is when i'm

01:08:04

talking to them because i know during the messages they go we're i'm a bad friend's tiger belly

01:08:09

fan that's cool and then when you become when you're playing with them it's almost as if there's a trust factor

01:08:16

because they know all my [ __ ] insecurities because they're a part of us yeah they're a part of it it's really nice i [ __ ] love it oh speaking of

01:08:21

which what bob and i it's not a fact but we might we might be trying to do

01:08:27

copying a good friend of mine um no we are going to do it okay we're going to do these drive-in movie we're going to try to do a drive-in movie theater

01:08:33

that we might do we might do it in bakersfield yeah we're working it out so um andrew and i bad friends and uh rudy will be there too has to she

01:08:40

has to be there on stage with us but we're gonna do a drive-in drive-in movie theater and then and are you gonna go well why can't i just i'll

01:08:46

just rather just listen to it but we're gonna we're gonna go to car to car yeah we're gonna be around we're gonna and

01:08:51

we'll stick a sticker or something on your windshield we're going to do a wave you know i mean just don't get

01:08:56

out of your cars or roll up the window it'll be very important i promise you we're going to make it we're going to make it a whole thing yeah wait let me tell you this one story

01:09:02

tell me stories i love stories no no this this just reminded me though of that kind of thing i can i can't do that i can't walk up to

01:09:07

a restaurant and hey da da da da although nobu malibu i it worked and it felt really good but

01:09:15

it never really happens to me yeah but i was in chicago with rogan doing a show and um

01:09:21

we go to this place called bets and buff one of my favorite steakhouses in chicago right this is very roganesque rogan loves mma

01:09:29

doesn't like sport doesn't know sports thinks like sports are ridiculous i'm like you like a sport how do you not like other sports right

01:09:35

um a very famous chicago blackhawk hockey player walks up to us as we're walking in and is like

01:09:42

joe rogan and joe's like hey what's up man he's like holy [ __ ] i'm a huge fan and he's trying to court carefully hey man you're a huge fan

01:09:48

and he goes oh cool man and he walks and he's like what are you doing in town he's like doing a show and he's like annoyed

01:09:54

almost with him yeah and he walks away and i say to joey go do you know

01:10:02

i was like what the [ __ ] and he's like i don't know man and we walk up to the thing joe joe is on the phone and he's out by

01:10:09

the car i go inside and i go hey we're looking to get a table there's uh four of us and she's like uh we're

01:10:16

totally booked like it's what are you like she's looking at me like i'm a [ __ ] yeah and i go i know it's late a late night thing and but um

01:10:23

is there any way i'm uh joe rogan like joe is here if we're in town during the ufc

01:10:28

yeah and she goes no i'm sorry i don't there's nothing nothing like that i i don't want you she

01:10:33

thinks i'm full of [ __ ] so joe comes walking in and the girl at the front is like

01:10:39

uh joe goes over there he's like what's the deal we can we is there any way we can sneak somewhere in here at all yeah he's being so polite so nice and she's

01:10:46

like i don't have any dude before she can finish her sentence you see a guy i mean it's like out of a movie he's like talking to guests in

01:10:52

like a nice suit and then he turns and he sees joe and he's like and he just beelines and he goes joe rogan what's what can we

01:10:59

do how can we help you where do you need to be tonight really yeah and he's like uh we just want a

01:11:04

table he's like right this way and the girl was like i don't know who that i don't know who that is yeah yeah yeah yeah and they sit up she she should get fired she got fired

01:11:11

she got fired she got fired no no no but she used to get fired but we sat down at

01:11:17

the most prime booth in the thing oh it's the best and because it's him because i'm with him yeah it's an

01:11:22

endless pouring of meat it's just like they like are shoving oh yeah five hours of just me just

01:11:29

eating meat drinking blacking out mm-hmm it was like the most it's the opposite of what happened to me

01:11:34

when irvine when i told you when i went to the restaurants i did i told you that no yes i did when on the

01:11:41

spot guys i never told you what did you do in irvine when i uh

01:11:47

i didn't tell you no so i got this i can't you what i don't it's

01:11:53

embarrassing after hearing that story actually because i did the polar opposite you know what i mean why tell me all right we might have to

01:12:01

cut it out though did you tell it on belly or something i don't remember i don't know if i said you hear the story before this just happened so this

01:12:07

happened in um february or february yeah so you know i you know i sold out

01:12:13

the irvine improv yeah which is difficult to do very right very it's 500

01:12:18

i feel the first time i ever sold out before going there you know it felt good yeah so i went there early i go you know what

01:12:25

i'm gonna show up right and i'm gonna have a nice dinner before my show

01:12:30

yeah so i show up at the club and um i go to the manager and they go why are

01:12:35

you here so early i go you know i want to be mindful to get here early so you're not worrying that the headliner's not here right so i

01:12:41

came early and then i'm going to eat some dinner next door at paul martinez or something like that sure so

01:12:48

i walk in there and i go hey um i'm can i one

01:12:54

hey she goes no she goes no we we're three hour wait i was just and

01:13:00

i go yeah but um i'm by myself yeah also i'm headlining literally next door and i have to i have

01:13:06

to perform no we don't give a [ __ ] no i go can i see the manager

01:13:12

yeah all right jimmy jimmy comes yeah i'm headlight no nope

01:13:19

i go but i'm headlining yeah we don't we don't do that we don't do that they didn't let you eat no so then when

01:13:25

i go i go i hold on i go next door to the irvine improv and i go yeah they said no

01:13:31

right and they go yeah okay and i go i know but i go yeah but go

01:13:38

over there with me no no no and they go but you know what we do have there's a mexican restaurant right next

01:13:44

to next door to that yep we have connect i'll call we'll call we have connect it's really good you'll love it so okay correct i'm mexican so they call

01:13:51

i go over there hey excuse me um no i could be here but they called we know

01:13:58

we know they called irvine improv you're getting shut down and i go but i go but i know but they called so

01:14:04

you talk to them yeah they just we just got off the phone with them you idiot we just said no no to you and i go

01:14:12

you better headline we don't give a [ __ ] no so i went back and i went to the manager of the irv

01:14:18

this is what there's a part that's gonna be embarrassing yeah i'm going home shut up

01:14:23

i swear to god i said that like an idiot like a [ __ ] baby you're like i think

01:14:28

no one give me food you know like a [ __ ] think we have food here i don't want to eat your diarrhea [ __ ] ridden

01:14:34

infested [ __ ] food here how do you know it's diarrhea written i don't know i just don't like club food did i get food poisoning from the older one improv

01:14:41

i did yeah i know that's what i'm saying i didn't you hear stories yeah so uh i went to my car you pretended

01:14:48

like you were gonna [ __ ] leave you're such an [ __ ] and they're like bob where are you no no they're like what are we you know

01:14:54

i mean and i i think i called like um some guy from a you know what i mean

01:14:59

to help you get through it yeah i go because i just got on you know you know

01:15:05

you know you were just pissed off i was just newly sober you know that was when you just got sober i was like a month and a half in

01:15:12

you know what i mean so i was just like really tender yeah and i was just like he's just like what are you doing yeah

01:15:18

you gotta work dude see it's not a big deal grow up and i go all right i know but i'm just saying when see it with joe rogan i know right

01:15:24

it's a polar opposite it was just it was just and i'm being honest with you you know when i i when and when i behave

01:15:30

in that way yeah but they somebody should have sat me by the way but well you're a single it should have been

01:15:36

should have been easy can i just defend my position real quick sure is that the irvine improv how many i mean you're

01:15:44

talking about 2500 people yeah it's a lot during the weekend that you're bringing in right

01:15:49

that's a lot of business so you're bringing in business to those restaurants am i not right the majority of that business is probably those people don't you think

01:15:55

yeah right just give me a game that's that was my thinking right you're

01:16:01

right i should have done it differently and i was acting my ego got in the way yeah and i paul i don't want to apologize that's being said

01:16:07

[ __ ] that give me a [ __ ] table give it away [ __ ] those restaurants give me a table okay it is true yeah it is true [ __ ] those restaurants

01:16:12

give me a table you can help me the [ __ ] out no i i can't pull any strings joe was the only reason that every time i've

01:16:18

ever tried yeah they they don't even acknowledge it okay one more story yeah one more story so

01:16:23

this was surprising to me jordan peele and i he goes let's go have lunch somewhere so

01:16:29

we went to this restaurant on los feliz boulevard right it was dinner it was dinner like 6 p.m little dumps

01:16:35

no it wasn't little dumbs it was like for it was called the lodge or some or something like that okay or the living room some [ __ ]

01:16:41

[ __ ] thing like that and we walk in the lobby and we go hey can we sit

01:16:46

two necessarily reservations only and jordan just goes um all right walks out and i go academy

01:16:54

award nothing he wanna academy award nothing that's so funny if he just brought his uh oscar

01:16:59

and he's are you saying that you can't get in no good but don't you think that's fair

01:17:04

that's fair i think it's fair no you want it you want you want it so you can i think it's fair did you get into the power hall of fame

01:17:10

by the way i didn't i've never checked i love it you would you crashed the website still didn't work is that

01:17:17

[Music] thank you for being a bad friend

01:17:39

you

Badges

This episode stands out for the following:

70
Funniest
60
Most quotable
60
Best performance

Episode Highlights

Date Night Dilemma
Bobby reveals his commitment to date night, leaving his friend hanging for gaming.
“It's date night tonight!”
@ 03m 18s
May 18, 2020
Panic Attack at the Premiere
Bobby shares the emotional fallout from being cut from a movie premiere.
“I had a full-fledged panic attack!”
@ 16m 02s
May 18, 2020
Bobby Lee's Hotel Encounter
Bobby Lee shares a funny story about being mistaken for an extra at a hotel.
“I always look like a black market pineapple smuggler.”
@ 23m 08s
May 18, 2020
The Need for Normalcy
Bobby Lee talks about the longing for normal interactions during quarantine.
“People just want to feel normal again.”
@ 37m 18s
May 18, 2020
Nostalgia for Competition
Bobby Lee reflects on missing the competitiveness of life and comedy.
“I miss having something to complain about.”
@ 38m 33s
May 18, 2020
Creative Collaboration
A discussion about writing and shooting a short film during the pandemic.
“Let's have Andreas write us a short and shoot it!”
@ 46m 22s
May 18, 2020
Paying It Forward
A heartwarming moment when the car in front paid for the meal.
“The car in front of you already paid for you!”
@ 01h 01m 45s
May 18, 2020
Restaurant Moments
The awkwardness of being recognized at a restaurant and the pressure to tip.
“I wish I could have just given all the money and ran out.”
@ 01h 05m 22s
May 18, 2020
Drive-In Movie Theater
We're planning a drive-in movie theater event in Bakersfield with our podcast friends.
“We're going to make it a whole thing!”
@ 01h 08m 27s
May 18, 2020
Dining with Joe Rogan
A famous Chicago Blackhawk fan approaches Joe Rogan, leading to a surprising restaurant experience.
“I was like, what the [ __ ]?”
@ 01h 09m 35s
May 18, 2020
Jordan Peele's Dinner Dilemma
Jordan Peele and I couldn't get into a restaurant despite his Oscar status.
“Academy Award, nothing!”
@ 01h 16m 23s
May 18, 2020

Episode Quotes

Key Moments

Song Remix00:53
Warzone Shoutouts02:13
Panic Attack16:02
Movie Concept45:33
Pandemic Creativity46:22
Awkward Recognition1:05:22
Trust Factor1:08:16
Fired!1:11:11

Words per Minute Over Time

Vibes Breakdown

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Hi, America! | Ep 6 | Bad Friends with Andrew Santino and Bobby Lee

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Hi, America! | Ep 6 | Bad Friends with Andrew Santino and Bobby Lee

You're A Good Boy, Bobby Lee! | Ep 196 | Bad Friends

December 11, 2023

01:10:19

You're A Good Boy, Bobby Lee! | Ep 196 | Bad Friends

Get Out of This World! | Ep 18 | Bad Friends with Andrew Santino and Bobby Lee

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Get Out of This World! | Ep 18 | Bad Friends with Andrew Santino and Bobby Lee

Bill Burr Takes Us On a Ride | Ep 234 | Bad Friends

September 02, 2024

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Bill Burr Takes Us On a Ride | Ep 234 | Bad Friends

The Old Man in the Pool | Ep 152 | Bad Friends

February 06, 2023

01:10:05

The Old Man in the Pool | Ep 152 | Bad Friends

Hollywood-ish Bobby w/ Adam Devine | Ep 173 | Bad Friends

01:10:55

Hollywood-ish Bobby w/ Adam Devine | Ep 173 | Bad Friends

Bobby's Midlife Crisis & The Ponzu Gang | Ep 133 | Bad Friends

September 12, 2022

01:06:11

Bobby's Midlife Crisis & The Ponzu Gang | Ep 133 | Bad Friends

Bobo’s Magic Calf Cream | Ep 20 | Bad Friends with Andrew Santino and Bobby Lee

01:09:24

Bobo’s Magic Calf Cream | Ep 20 | Bad Friends with Andrew Santino and Bobby Lee

Shoot The TV | Ep 3 | Bad Friends with Andrew Santino & Bobby Lee

01:23:57

Shoot The TV | Ep 3 | Bad Friends with Andrew Santino & Bobby Lee

Tito Cheeto is Back! | Ep 160 ft. Ryan Sickler | Bad Friends

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