00:00:00
you two are bad friends who are these two idiots white dude and an asian dude you two are disgusting well you two or something we're bad friends
00:00:12
if andres was a pastry would he be if andres was a pastry he'd be a danish a danish
00:00:18
no question is very delicate and beautiful he'd be a danish oh by the way a cheese danish yeah yeah mozzarella uh
00:00:25
pete pete of course would be he would i know what it would be a hard muffin an old muffin i think more of an english
00:00:31
pudding a bread pudding like a bread pudding yeah he'd be bread about me if i was a [ __ ] pastry if you were a pastry yeah you would be
00:00:38
uh picking a blanket so perfect you would literally be a pig in a blanket you would absolutely be a hot dog wrapped in a croissant that's literally because the outside looks looks burnt toast
00:00:50
i'm that's not a pastry yeah yeah i know that's why you're not even in the [ __ ] you know i mean when you go to a
00:00:55
pastry shop you're not even in the [ __ ] glass i'm a cranberry muffin no i'm a cran orange muffin you're in the
00:01:00
[ __ ] garbage pan in the [ __ ] back why because you're just a bird it's like they they burn all right toss them all right well you're still picking a blanket you're fat and unhealthy and disgusting but
00:01:11
everybody kind of likes you that's a pig in a blanket you're fat and unhealthy and disgusting
00:01:17
and bad for people but un unreasonably so we still like you that's why you're a pig in a blanket and rudy
00:01:23
and rudy rudy has some sort of weird fruit in it yeah it's like a passion fruit or it's like it's like a kumquat
00:01:29
uh like a lychee you know a lychee uh a lychee donut a lychee donut yeah yeah yeah yeah you're like a persimmon you're
00:01:36
like a persimmon a weird fruit for no reason you're a persimmon uh look at that face what do you what are you auditioning for apocalypto
00:01:46
yeah what are you i can see you're an apocalypto can't you what do you think you are rude
00:01:52
um a cookie what kind of cookie yeah just the chocolate chip cookie no no no no you're not trying to get your [ __ ] mind you're freaking out no i you're not white
00:02:05
you're a macadamia nut brown what a mean guy i pulled my back golf i know oh that's so dumb no it wasn't golfing sorry you just said it well i was
00:02:21
golfing all day and then afterwards i was blowing one of the guys that i golfed with and i pulled
00:02:27
my when i came up i just threw out my back it hurts so much it's hilarious that was golfing man so you swank so you
00:02:33
swing it wasn't even on my swing i was walking i was grabbing a club to bend down and i just popped something
00:02:39
wow are you being real i wasn't i didn't stretch but does it hurt right now oh yeah yeah
00:02:44
oh yeah so i could [ __ ] with you yeah i mean i mean physically no you couldn't even on my worst day i'm stronger than
00:02:50
you it's unbelievable that's how weak you are as a human being on my worst off day yeah i'm still remarkably stronger
00:02:56
than you i'm strong for my size no you're not it went weight class no you're not yeah
00:03:01
think about it guys let's think about types yeah okay yeah so in this building my type dumpling is andreas no oh you mean your weight class weight class and
00:03:13
we will be pitted against each other andres how tall are you i'm five ten five ten you're four or
00:03:19
seven no five five by four okay you're five four it doesn't matter because it's like you know sometimes like jon jones
00:03:26
right in the ufc yeah he was taller and you know i mean and slimmer right skinnier legs right than some of his
00:03:32
opponents okay so so like andreas is might be taller yeah but we're the same weight class how much you wage raise a hundred and seventy pounds yeah that's
00:03:43
what that's me ua 172 170 175 all right uh and then i would destroy him i would break his [ __ ] chain no way no i would shatter every boat in your face dude he's a kid he's still bone
00:03:56
he's spanish they're crazy dude i'm korean bro what have you got so much [ __ ] wage what
00:04:02
what do you mean what what do you have rage about all right name me once spanish yeah maybe one spanish ufc
00:04:09
fighter uh exactly uh korean zombies enrique ruiz korean zombie the korean zombie yeah okay one super boy
00:04:20
he's very talented okay yeah so you think give me one spanish uh uh sergio garcia no there is no sergio garcia yes there is there isn't um enrique valdez there's a lot of redheads though huh
00:04:33
yeah paul felder i think it's anyway and corey we talked about last week so you would be against drace and you think
00:04:38
you'd beat him and then pete i'd go against pete but you know why i couldn't beat pete because pete's got go ahead
00:04:44
and say it the syndrome he's got what strength well he's got uh he's got somebody's
00:04:49
strength he goes you know he's got h rs i don't think it's hidden yeah he's got it pete lopes around here loaf is the word pete lopes around here he reminds me of
00:05:00
my friend brady i've talked to about brady who like you know what i mean yeah yeah yeah yeah pick up the pole yeah pull out of the ground so and then who
00:05:07
would she fight she would get the winner of you and and well with people that we know probably uh
00:05:14
esther pavinsky oh what a good fight that's a great fight what a great fight i would go with jules
00:05:19
i don't know no jules i i want to say jewels but no weapons do you know have you ever gotten to a
00:05:25
fist fight jules no have you ever been any sort of fight with another girl like when you were younger did you get into like a slapping
00:05:31
fight no nothing nothing see what i mean i'm too wait did you get in fights in high school mostly when i was younger than high school high school was a few yeah there was this jewish kid
00:05:43
who lived up the street from me can we even say that all right so there was this jewish human
00:05:49
right that's good okay there was this jewish and um [Music] i used to bully the [ __ ] out of him like i like on the bus like he'd be eating
00:06:00
like you know like a little breakfast sandwich that his mom made and i would just go and hit it out of his hand what
00:06:06
yeah why would you do that and then he would go what the [ __ ] and we would go ahaha [ __ ] you oh whatever you don't
00:06:12
mean yeah like i was so mean to him yeah like i would just like you know hit him in the back of the head just in the
00:06:17
hallway it's very it's terrible yeah and so the one day um and my brother was um friends with his little brother right and my brother would at nights go bob
00:06:29
yeah can you not pick on you know my my friend oliver's brother yeah and i go nah so one day i was on the this is so embarrassing so one day it's one day i
00:06:40
was on the school bus and i hit him on the head this kid right yeah and he goes that's it
00:06:46
like a what what's it after school there was a there was like a field right by between our houses
00:06:54
it was like this empty field right he goes meet us meet me at that field you mean at 4 30 and we're going to duke
00:07:01
it out and then i don't know he must be a promoter or something but everyone the school was there right after it worked
00:07:07
right right it was like a circle right and i got i go i'm there right i think i took my shirt off what i don't know why but if i shut it off i go what's up matt next thing i know
00:07:20
i'm on the floor yeah what he punched me so hard i'm on the floor and i'm like winded too right and i get up and i just start do you know just start swinging haymakers haymakers right
00:07:32
yeah nowhere near him right it's just a straight in my right just to scrape my head like i pop
00:07:39
back i fall on the ground again and now i'm like bleeding right and my brother now he was in the front of the circle
00:07:45
right now he's somewhere like in the back yeah like just go just contemplating his life right
00:07:50
and i go god time out i think i time off you can't time out a fight come on come on hey man it
00:08:07
a car right my mom had a red like red like sports car my mom is on the dirt on the field coming again coming to get me right she goes get in right i'm bleeding
00:08:19
it rain and all the kids are laughing at me yeah like i get in the car and i never bullied
00:08:25
anyone again that's what you get i know i deserve it you definitely guess like that's like if like it can encapsulate
00:08:33
my life that's it that's it right you're the bully that can't really [ __ ] yeah i talk i talk [ __ ] right and i i you know
00:08:39
i talk a big game right but when it comes down to it i'm a bastard i i get destroyed right
00:08:45
i'm meat well but but also then why do you think you were allowed to talk [ __ ] it's fun what do you think about that
00:08:51
kid made you pick on him for real did other people pick on him and you think because he played the trombone
00:08:57
oh yeah yeah he he always had a trombone hey you got to pick on that right right
00:09:03
he had a trombone and it had nothing to do with that he was just i didn't even know what the jewish meant right it wasn't i never saw those lists before
00:09:09
that or whatever yeah it wasn't no it's not because he was jewish because i was like in
00:09:14
sixth grade you didn't even know that i don't know you know i know anything about it you know i mean right and then later you know in high school i think i
00:09:21
saw like in history class some films about holocaust and i think i walked up to him and i said hey man sorry about
00:09:27
you know for four years ago when you beat the [ __ ] out of me in that field yeah you were sorry for him beating the [ __ ] out of him yeah yeah no problem man
00:09:34
how did your mom know did your brother go scram kid i'm like oh sorry [Laughter] what did your brother snitch how did
00:09:40
your mom find out no she was just happened to be driving down she looked and she saw me getting my ass [ __ ] walloped just getting my
00:09:47
head walloped yeah do people get in fights in height in the philippines in school did you see a lot of fights a lot in my public school
00:09:54
yeah and they would use like pencils and then they would smart dab what yeah that's smart that's smart did you ever see girls fight or was there only boys that fought i also saw
00:10:06
girls and then they would just rip their skirt off their shirt and then yeah i was scared no comment i got beat up by a guy named david koch koch yeah yeah so i took karate
00:10:18
taekwondo yeah and i took it for like two weeks i'm not kidding yeah yeah you thought
00:10:24
you were a black belt and i thought i knew everything i needed noticed i just stopped going i'm good and the only thing that in the beginning they teach
00:10:29
you is the bow yeah right and then block so i had this like old korean like taekwondo teacher it was in this mini mall you know what i mean you go broke right and i'm like black
00:10:42
you know broke black and that that's all i took and i remember david koch and i got a
00:10:48
fight yeah and he kicked me in the nut sack i was falling backwards block and i ended up like like this on the ground
00:11:00
you know i mean i was thinking i should have taken more classes you're nuts i've never worn i've never won a fight ever but i was a good wrestler i was
00:11:06
undefeated well that's the thing with fights you should have just gone to the ground with them that was later in high school i started wrestling and i started you know my
00:11:12
brother and i are very good at wrestling the worst i ever the worst i ever had was in college me and my buddy colin and
00:11:18
my buddy travis and a bunch of idiots we were drunk and we were in an apartment complex and notorious this arch stone
00:11:24
notorious like bro bro [ __ ] it up oh what's up dude everyone wanted arizona arizona is just
00:11:30
like san diego wait you went to college in arizona arizona state what you in um phoenix yeah we've talked
00:11:36
about this before because my brother went there we've talked about this before i forget yeah that's fine okay uh
00:11:42
i don't memorize you lived in tempe yeah did you really yes of course that's where he went to college but it was all
00:11:48
bros it's all sa by the way arizona state is all bros from southern california that can't get into
00:11:53
california schools right yeah and they want the cheaper route so they go to arizona that's literally what it is so
00:11:58
uh it's all like oh well flick in oh [ __ ] lifted that's all it is out there and we're in a parking lot and a
00:12:04
dude backs up his car and he almost hits somebody that we're with now my memory is foggy about it in terms of why that
00:12:11
started but then somebody hit the trunk of the car like hey what the [ __ ] yeah and this guy gets out and he's running
00:12:17
his mouth and there's like four or five of us and there's one of him and he's like oh you [ __ ] [ __ ] all this stuff and then i'm thinking not
00:12:24
much of it because they're kind of chirping everyone's chirping and he goes inside and comes out with a team a
00:12:31
[ __ ] superhero squad of big adult black men and i was like oh what the [ __ ] is this yeah yeah the football team comes outside and is then it's then at this point it's over we're we have to
00:12:43
[ __ ] they're gonna fight you're gonna fight we had to you didn't have to yeah we did why where were we gonna go
00:12:50
the other way we're on their turf it's over all right so my buddy colin is the first because he's the one that's talking to the guy i think he's
00:12:56
defending this girl that they almost hit and they start going at it and right away i turn around and i'm just like
00:13:01
and i'm just met with one right in my face and then i'm swinging like a like this like a loser just getting punched
00:13:06
by three people not hitting anybody yeah and i go down to the ground and when i kind of come too because i must have
00:13:11
gotten knocked out yeah i had been kicked like in the back of the neck shoulder or whatever my buddy travis was getting work too and when we got up we
00:13:19
had to walk back home because we had walked to this party so [ __ ] up and sad and these guys got
00:13:25
to go back in and drink with some of the people that were around us oh wow yeah we got the [ __ ] beat out of this now
00:13:31
working the next day where you soaring stuff dude after a fight everyone who's ever what year is this by the way my freshman
00:13:37
or sophomore year college so what year is that 2000 and uh two or three it's so weird because i was still i was doing the tempi improv then so yeah we could open one of your
00:13:49
shows i should know i could i was probably in the same town with you at some point you could have helped no yeah
00:13:54
really you could have helped me out yeah but i but i'll never forget the first that wasn't the first bad fight i ever
00:14:00
lost in but any fight i've ever been in you feel like you got hit in a car accident for a couple of days
00:14:08
everything is stiff and it really hurts and it just doesn't make sense and you're like i didn't even get punched here why is my [ __ ] neck so sore i
00:14:15
mean everything hurts yeah every i i never after after stupid fights as a kid i never wanted to do it ever again yeah
00:14:21
because you you feel bad even when you win there's a guilt there too well you lose you lose you always lose there's no
00:14:28
winning we need to get jules into a fist fight with somebody yeah let's start a beef with her and ask her
00:14:33
i think you should tell esther that she's been talking [ __ ] right that she wants to replace esther on my
00:14:39
girlfriend's podcast right because she thinks that she's stronger than her and she thinks she can do it right
00:14:45
look at her face i'm going to tell esther yeah she still says something that you're shaped like a marshmallow no esther's
00:14:51
too kind no i'm going to say that to her no we're going to say you said that yeah yeah
00:14:56
by the way um the amount of people that got upset about us even mentioning the idea of rudy getting replaced is insane
00:15:02
it's just absurd so it's not going to happen i guess yeah you're not going to uc davis
00:15:08
you're we're going to choose your college okay we're choosing your college imagine me and you being counselors
00:15:14
oh my gosh just go somewhere close yeah well if i was her actual dad she'd listen to me i'd probably go don't even
00:15:20
go to college me too right what yeah yeah what is the point i don't know what do
00:15:26
you want to do i don't know yet what do you think you'd like to do i want to be a vet
00:15:32
a veterinarian yeah so go to veterinarian school you don't need to go to college for that
00:15:38
but you're the first one to make it out of the philippines and get a college degree huh yeah i guess i mean that's important well i mean you know she's out
00:15:45
here for that that's the goal and it's like but she goes to a fancy school now yeah and she's out here to get her
00:15:51
education i get it but veterinary school is good she gets straight a's i know if you can get into uc school might as well
00:15:57
just go yeah you should you should go whatever makes you happy but i think nothing does so but i have
00:16:03
to say this though i'm telling you right now and i'm not [ __ ] around here you have to pick your boyfriends wisely yeah that's a big thing for us for us because you're going
00:16:15
to bring your boyfriends because i don't want you know i mean i don't want to be doing bad friends five years from now
00:16:20
and then she brought antonio yeah or whatever yeah some doofus why would i bring my boyfriend because it's a requirement we need to meet him and he needs to come to
00:16:31
the studio yeah we got to rip them apart yeah what look at antonio's eyebrows or whatever is that you know what i mean
00:16:36
he's like hey what's wrong with my eyebrows yeah done you're sexy oh yeah see that's cause he wants another spaniard in here to help him out
00:16:43
if by the way whoever you start dating you do have to bring them by here that's just a rule yeah
00:16:48
you don't like that rule do you no well too bad what is this this is us a son a fan wrote for you
00:16:55
guys let's hear it anyway um what uh i'm gay i'm gay all right bobby it's okay to be gay tons of people come
00:17:11
out of the closet each day andrew this may be a surprise but you're just as gay as bobby i can see it in your eyes come to your senses and ask each other
00:17:26
out you'll be such a great couple i have no doubts you are gay you are gay and that's okay you're gay
00:17:40
you are gay okay don't worry we still love you thanks for being a buy friend is that you rudy that sounded like her you know what
00:17:56
we should go on a date you and i yeah why don't we go on a date we'll film it why don't we go on a real date i'm dead seriously it's so gross dude would you go on a date with me for you
00:18:09
please but take it serious all right but i'm serious like take it for real like dress up look nice all right let's
00:18:15
do your makeup do your hair no i wanna we're at a restaurant i want to go to a real date no we will but
00:18:21
let's just so let's how does it work i pick you up well then rudy i pick you up no i'm the i am the guy you pick me up i pick you up will you pick me up on time
00:18:35
you won't be ready so i'll be late you know me well i know very good yeah that gets me around a little bit because
00:18:41
we have a connection there so you know rudy you're our server okay all right no wait for you pick me up first you're at
00:18:47
the restaurant yet all right sorry yeah what's up man you know walk out the door and say hi and walk down the steps
00:19:00
there he is close the door yeah right hi hi bob get in andy get in oh are you gonna open the oh my god i'm sorry
00:19:10
[Laughter] i opened the door and then thank you yeah yeah and then we would have to mom we would have to talk about something that's a little uncomfortable no i would probably
00:19:22
look nice tonight i go do you no you with this all right you would you would open with that you look so
00:19:28
intimate you look nice tonight thank you you know it's funny i um i would say something nervous because right so i'll go yeah because um you know i i just joined amazon you know i figured out how
00:19:41
to get amazon stuff and i got these new men's soap oh yeah yeah yeah so i got a collection in a box like and one of
00:19:47
them's like patchouli but one of the this charcoal one yeah and so like and you know i i saved the charcoal one you
00:19:53
know for a special occasion yeah you smell good thank you for noticing let's go you
00:19:59
ready to go get some food where are we gonna go it's a surprise okay and then we would have another awkward thing where i'd go we'd speak at the same time like a bad movie you know yeah so
00:20:12
oh oh okay go ahead go ahead oh you you oh you got it or oh are your tags up to date no i think everything is okay oh uh hi officer how can i help you
00:20:36
why were you speeding up oh gosh i didn't i didn't think i was speeding yeah we were going over 60.
00:20:43
oh was i what's the speed limit here 55. and you just interrupt please so you thought that five miles per hour was a little too
00:20:55
much for you to handle and you pulled us over yes well wow okay well let me do this i'm on a date you're
00:21:01
gonna give us a ticket though not yet i'm on a date i'm on a date as you can see
00:21:06
yeah yeah yeah where are you going well it's a surprise it's a surprise it's yeah i've known him for years and then
00:21:13
we just we just started we realized we just wanted to try it out yeah yeah that's really sweet so do you think we
00:21:19
could be on our way okay okay i can let you go thank you officer appreciate it have a good night
00:21:29
[Music] you guys honestly um with you know i travel right constantly so i was in hawaii three times during the pandemic and um
00:21:39
and you know at the hotel the food was terrible all i did was and i'm telling all these other delivery services are not as good as door dash i'm going to tell you i'm
00:21:52
going to be honest with you okay um my orders right i'll show you what i've ordered okay
00:21:58
i've ordered so many damn things from um breakfast burritos to morton steakhouse to seoul dong i don't know what that was murakami udon old spaghetti factory i mean i
00:22:10
use this app all my personal life all the time i love it i order pizza from it all the time i get sometimes i get uh
00:22:17
stuff from uh cvs and stuff like that to pick up little knickknacks and toothpaste if i don't want i mean you want chinese if you want pizza you want
00:22:23
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00:23:09
store and enter the code badfriends2021 don't forget that's code badfriends2021 for 25 off your first order with doordash subject to change terms apply hello
00:23:20
oh my god you know what you know i i never knew this but i i didn't know that i had a very dirty butthole you do i did not anymore i did right anymore
00:23:32
and i'm going to tell you something right now if you're walking around society with a dirty butthole you may not think you do but you do you do and
00:23:38
if but you have to get hello tushy you must because we got it here we have it at the house i install it myself yeah right it's so easy to use it's so
00:23:45
affordable and what it is it's one of the best but affordable bidets out there yeah the brand new hello tushy 3.0
00:23:51
modern bidet attachment is here to level up the playing field for you it's stylish it's very compact it's easy to install like bob said it's a joke if you
00:23:57
don't have one on your toilet those those fancy bidets that you see that are thousands of dollars or whatever this is
00:24:02
not that think of the trees think of the trees right right because you know when we're when you use toilet paper
00:24:08
a tree dies a lot of trees die so many trees tonight right and i don't kill trees no more i'll be killing no trees
00:24:14
baby right i just use water that's right hello tushy bidet attachment comes with a 60-day risk-free guarantee and a
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00:24:42
yeah did you sorry sorry what were your names [Laughter] what's your badge number what is your badge number one yeah we can really report it
00:25:19
we're gonna report you like people saying officer dominguez write that down right
00:25:26
what's your number six six seven four three write that down we'll be on your our way thank you so
00:25:32
much i'm andrew and that's bobby we are offended yeah we're fine we're out of here i support gay people for no well why do you need our name what do
00:25:44
you learn names i like to keep it on my house so you pull over gay people you get their names you just kind of like you know write it on the walls of your house
00:25:55
yes wow okay how can we get it now well we'll be on our way have a good night thank you bye-bye please do okay let's
00:26:01
just go what was that about that's crazy i mean and it's like it's you know i just smelled um a perfume that i really wanted to buy in the store where
00:26:27
you oh thank you oh so it's like um well it's just it's um it's men's nature it's a scope that's the company right and if you go to amazon right it comes in six pack and
00:26:40
one of them is charcoal and that's what i've been using it's not really a perfume it's a soap but it's a scented soap yeah yeah so yeah we really are
00:26:47
late for our reservations we've got to go let me ask you something right now officer dominguez because i have a feeling that you might want to pull us
00:26:54
over again so so so we get everything out now right all the things that you want to ask me now please because we're really late for a reservation um do you have any um
00:27:05
hairstyle that you would say hairstyle well i like the roman cut i like the roman cut and i also like uh
00:27:12
when they shave the sides what do they call it when they shave the sides no for me oh i said i'm sorry um your hair
00:27:17
looks great okay um we don't know you at all what would your tattoo be um i lost my dog so i wanted oh so you lost his dog
00:27:36
so you want to tattoo your dog yeah officer dominguez i'm going to throw this out there this is crazy but do you want to just come
00:27:43
with us to dinner sure wonder i should just park your car start your comfort zone no i don't want
00:27:48
to interrupt your first date no it's funny you already have three then you're gonna um pull us over again so right okay do
00:27:55
you promise not to pull us over again i promise you okay okay so you're not coming with us and so you've asked every question that
00:28:01
you want you're not going to pull over server again yes okay thank you have a good night have a good night offers are
00:28:07
doing against your time all right all right let's go please crazy i've never finally we're here at
00:28:13
the restaurant yeah my god so what do you think about have you ever seen this place oh luigi's luigi's yeah yeah
00:28:20
delicious yeah and is it based on the mario brothers well the iron is it's luigi's but it's actually argentinian
00:28:26
food wow yeah have you ever had it not really no it's breaded breaded chicken it's steaks a lot of steaks and chim
00:28:32
cherry sauce and stuff like that you're gonna love it okay good you're gonna love it uh oh there's the host down there there's the host uh let's hello
00:28:38
sir hello hello welcome to luigi's thank you thank you uh i guess there's a reservation under the name of santino it's actually what it's santinely because i thought we would that's cute
00:28:50
that's really cute yeah is there a santeenly here for 8 30. uh um no i'm sorry what the [ __ ] wait i i called in did you call it i made it on open table i put it on open table and i
00:29:02
also called and made sure that you guys still had the table on the terrace that i requested um i don't see it here maybe you guys
00:29:09
can take it to go hold on one second first of all i'm sorry um it's understandingly but this is andrew santino and my name is bobby lee and maybe you know who we are medians that
00:29:21
we have a podcast called bad friends it's pretty popular oh i thought that was with uh tom segura
00:29:27
and bear crystal um okay embarrassing what's your name sir yeah beat man do you not sound like a p but pablo oh
00:29:43
you're the rapper petey pablo yeah yes well listen here pete pablo um i have a weird feeling and you can say i'm wrong but are you not giving us our table because we're two guys on a date
00:29:55
yeah it looks a little bad for our clientele that's disgusting well that's disgusting
00:30:00
you know we don't want to eat at a place like luigi's you know because this is [Laughter]
00:30:16
i'm not talking to you i'm talking to pete pablo oh wow oh no oh that makes sense the the the gay collection of collections
00:30:34
yeah wow he's refusing a table because we're on a date yes pete no i love gays [Laughter]
00:30:46
you have to let them in pete let them in let us have a table pete would that be okay yeah pete okay
00:30:52
all right thank you thank you thank you officer dominguez we really appreciate it um
00:30:58
can i sit with you honestly we might as well we have to at this we might as well at this point after this yes so okay come sit with us oh let's put up a chair let me take out let me
00:31:08
pull your chair thank you no problem and dominguez i'll do this for you as well just because we're here uh there's our
00:31:14
server hi uh hey hi hello oh so you oh you do hope so one man shop do you cook as well i do oh okay are you argentinian i am
00:31:28
well wow so do you have any specials chimichurri steak cherry steak that's all you've got that's it can we get a
00:31:34
menu chimichurri steak that's all they serve that's all they serve well do you guys want to put in a drink
00:31:39
order or something like that do you want something to drink to me guess i want a lemonade a lemonade yeah
00:31:47
because you only have chimichurri steak here so what are the options it doesn't seem like you would have lemonade
00:31:53
we have wine wine and water and water okay with lemon we can put it lemon you can put lemon in the water yep or the wine would you like water lemon water
00:32:05
yeah will that suffice um i don't drink i don't drink so i'll have just i guess a water okay i don't
00:32:11
really want wine i i'll just have some water as well are you sure there's nothing there's like nothing else back there
00:32:17
we have uh energy drinks oh oh well i'll have an energy drink what brand we have red bulls perfect perfect i'll have you have a sugar free bull no only with sugar okay i'll have a
00:32:29
regular red ball fine we'll take we'll take those yeah thank you so much what a weird rust frog i mean honestly just
00:32:34
chim chimes wine yeah chimichurri steak red red bull and water and water that's it that's it i don't know how this is in business so dominguez uh oh yeah sir and we'll
00:32:46
just take three stakes obviously because we [ __ ] can't choose anything because can we can we um medium
00:32:52
okay do we have an option can we do medium no yes medium that's the only thing you do yeah i like medium
00:32:59
rare if that's possible no that's not they only have medium you can just undercook it a little bit and they only have media this chef doesn't like
00:33:05
suggestions so yeah yeah okay so i guess we'll have three medium cherry steaks i'll have a red bull you want a red bull three red bulls or water lemon water
00:33:16
water's all around yeah but no lemon for mine no lemon for his please yeah no ice in mine please if you could yeah
00:33:22
uh did you get all that let me write it down why don't you do you you can't memorize that can you
00:33:28
repeat it back to us we make sure you have the order memorize that i think you guys wanted this thing right
00:33:39
yes of course that's precisely what we wanted okay three three red bulls yes please and two waters one with ice the other one would live on
00:33:51
yes please got it thank you yeah sir how are the steaks cooked immediately right that's it okay great oh wow dominguez how's the night been
00:34:02
going for you really tough i just um caught a couple of gays on the way caught two lesbians where did you catch them what were they
00:34:17
doing what were they doing uh they were speeding up like the way the way we were speeding up
00:34:24
five miles per hour faster than the speed limit yes okay so you caught them and what was their their infraction was
00:34:29
serious enough for you to pull them over i was gonna let them go but they were really angry at me
00:34:36
really oh [ __ ] they were mad because you pulled them over so how many times did you pull them over
00:34:41
how many times did you pull them over five times that's why they were angry yes but i had many questions about that
00:34:48
okay all right okay did you do did you pull over anybody else did you let them go did you let them go did you let them go
00:34:54
yeah okay good i did what were their names what were their names because you collect names like names oh yeah their
00:34:59
names were jessica and olivia oh do we know them yeah just good and olivia yeah we know them they live over
00:35:06
on 18th oh so that's good did you have any other trouble tonight i also met um please tell them i love
00:35:12
old people did you tell me were they i'm assuming that they were gay the one one one one was bisexual
00:35:25
and then the other was trans oh okay what's the were they together or i didn't i don't know because they were talking really slow so i just left them
00:35:37
oh cause they're old yeah yeah how old are we talking yeah 85 85 85 885 trans right guy and a buy guy okay i don't even know how you would get that
00:35:51
information did you ask him those yes oh i see officer dominguez correct me if i'm wrong
00:35:56
it seems like most of the people you pull over and give offenses to are gay or in the lgbtq community i'm just interested in that right i know but you could like look up online or like ask a
00:36:08
friend why do you have to pull us over officer jimmy let me ask you a question are you bi or gay no i'm straight okay
00:36:14
well that's a defensive yeah really jump down my partner's throat there well so so why are you so interested
00:36:22
i just like their personalities just the same as yours okay that's very sweet can
00:36:27
i ask you another question please please we're here we're here waiting for our steaks when did you two first met
00:36:34
well well we first met we've known each other for a while over a decade comedians over a decade ago all
00:36:40
comedians yeah and we met at the company oh god i like bert crusher and tom segura yes we know them and we know them have you
00:36:52
ever pulled them over no because you know they're no they have families oh i see i you know i'm seeing i i'm seeing a pattern officer
00:37:04
obviously it's becoming a little apparent yeah can you please you know what uh you're very you're very you're offending me why because well you know
00:37:11
you know why and you know we need you to um leave please we don't want you i wish you to leave the restaurant yeah but i
00:37:17
let you in this restaurant yeah but i think it's just for your own benefit yeah you're doing that for yourself oh here are the here's the service there's pete here's pete
00:37:28
thank you you only have one i thought you said okay there's only one okay thank you uh
00:37:34
mine's supposed to be room temp thanks thank you pete pete i i'm good i have my wallet
00:37:39
okay thank you should i just leave the water is already here uh i guess you could finish your water
00:37:45
yeah she can stay i guess yeah that's fine fine excuse me pete yeah how much longer on the steak because medium i
00:37:52
feel like might be done pretty close to now also do we get any sides yeah we didn't even ask for sides there's
00:37:57
nothing here you guys can get fries or salad well that could have been an option in the beginning
00:38:17
it's so rude can we pick a dressing or no is there a dressing olive oil and vinegar that's it that's all you've got
00:38:23
i got that okay so and is there it's just let me guess it's just lettuce and that's it and chimp cherry sauce that's
00:38:29
what i'm thinking a little bit of tomato too a little bit of tomato okay thank you can we have some of those we'll have some salads please while we're waiting
00:38:35
you don't have soup this is such a steak soup salad yeah you know andrew this is a terrible plate have you eaten it
00:38:40
before no no i read one yelp review i i did the yelp review that was you you read no and i should you know what you oh and you know what it said on there i should have known what it's at a great place
00:38:53
for gays yeah and that was a trap it was a trap and that's why you were like gays i'm
00:38:59
thinking about you know 100 a great place for gays is what it said and i just thought five stars this has got to be the spot it was
00:39:05
only yelp review yeah you know andrew let's [ __ ] forget dinner let's just [ __ ] let's go
00:39:15
right here at luigi yeah yeah wow so that was uh let me just say something about your
00:39:20
improv skills amazing very good the callback was so good so two callbacks really bomb and can i tell you uh that restaurant is a lot better i know we got bad service at it but it is pretty good i think we
00:39:32
should go back at some point okay would you seriously go on a date with me dude you're acting weird no in real life
00:39:37
would you do it no why because it's don't how fun would that be you and i go on a date you film it though yes of course if we film it yes yes and we go on a
00:39:48
date and we film it where you will you wear a dress please yeah i'll wear a suit
00:39:55
i'll wear makeup the whole thing will you get your hair done yeah i'll do it can we get your hair professionally i got a pro i'll get a perm for real yeah
00:40:01
this is phenomenal i'm not shaving my mustache though why would i want you to shave that i like you the way you are thank you
00:40:07
so we're the makeup yeah wear a dress and you'll get your hair done by we're going to get like a good hair stylist yes we'll get a fill
00:40:13
we're filming it and we're going we'll go to like nobu nobo where are we going to go like somewhere really nice no
00:40:20
no nope i don't i don't want to go anywhere where i want to know anybody well more people would probably know us at a at a not nice place than a very no i don't think i think if you and i went
00:40:31
to a red lobster or a sizzler yeah i think we're safe like an outback and we're not going to go anywhere near the
00:40:37
city we have to go like out to encino we're going to riverside riverside i'll go to riverside with you yeah i'll wear the
00:40:44
makeup i don't know we can't say that now some a fan will go we're going to go somewhere somewhere yeah somewhere else
00:40:49
boston or whatever right you're going to pick us up she's no no she's the driver i want her to drive us
00:40:55
yeah you're driving us right yeah and when i go on it then you and i are going to sit in this
00:41:01
back seat together how cute [ __ ] man please no for me all right thank you all right are you down for this this is fun right yeah you know you brought up segura and
00:41:14
the other guy a lot you you got to be honest with me you really had more fun with those guys than
00:41:19
you did with us no you love us yes but i i do believe this so she liked it so that's just so much
00:41:26
fun i do believe and she's going to deny it all she wants right which is like her thing yeah i believe and i'll bet my life on it
00:41:37
that she likes tom and bert more than she likes you what why'd you do that why are you doing that her just to hurt my feelings no no i believe it i mean it's probably not true
00:41:49
but that's just the thing that i have i've been so nice i've been so loving and nice i'm like this i'm like
00:42:00
[Laughter] [Music] why are you doing that to her i just wanted to see what would happen and there was the i like it look at this i know i looked that you got mad at you i like that mad yeah
00:42:21
oh my god this this service yeah has relieved so much stress for me dude well listen a lot of people acquired a lot of uh credit card debts uh over the pandy and i know bobo did you put a lot of
00:42:33
stuff on credit i just want things consolidated right one place because i don't want to look at 3 000 like you
00:42:38
know i mean pages of bills yeah it's annoying when it comes to paying off debt it's going to be it's hard sometimes it's an uphill battle and
00:42:44
interest rates are ridiculous and unnecessary and uh they keep you paying on this endless cycle guys do you dread
00:42:50
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application go to upstart.com friends ritual i'm telling you right now andrew tell me right i've been taking multivitamins all my life me too this is my favorite one yeah you like it it's i
00:43:51
like it i love it we deserve to know what we're putting in our bodies and why especially when it comes to something we take every day yeah this is the stuff right here man yeah it is they're clean
00:44:02
vegan-friendly multivitamin they're formulated with high-quality nutrients bio-available uh forms your body can
00:44:07
actually use yeah you know what's not in there what's that i'll tell you what's not in it i memorized this sugars yep
00:44:13
gmos yep uh major allergens yeah synthetic fillers gross and artificial colorants and you know if you don't you
00:44:19
guys other multivitamins have that packed with that stuff in it yeah this doesn't have it no it's clean it's clean
00:44:26
uh multivitamin should contain key nutrients your forms your body can actually use to help fill in the gaps in the diet no shady extras like bob said
00:44:32
yeah it's available for women men teens whoever you are whatever you are real ritual multivitamins are scientifically
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00:44:49
taking a multivita vegeman uh every a day yeah get key nutrients without the bs ritual is offering my listeners our listeners exactly 10 off during your
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00:45:08
bad friends what's going on with the baby yeah is the baby is the baby healthy and okay yeah everything have you seen it
00:45:15
live i i i i had can we bring up you literally saw the baby yeah he's vaccinated he wouldn't see that they saw the baby you could too i could go see that yeah you're vac stop dude and then what did the baby did the baby like open
00:45:27
his eyes little eyes yes he did oh how cute is that how's honestly what is how does how is george feeling i think he's very happy tired and happy
00:45:38
yeah yeah is his and his wife uh this is her third marriage yeah third third marriage and how many
00:45:45
kids did she have from her previous marriages it has like five all together so the house looks like a little it's
00:45:52
like it's a runabout of all little kids no she didn't have five she has five other kids yeah we have three other guys two other guys wait so george lives with like five kids yeah
00:46:03
yes how do you not know that wait five asian kids well half asian yeah and now they have a sixth right yes correct this is like the
00:46:15
easiest math on earth she doesn't have other kids there's no way what do you mean she's her she's been married twice before no it doesn't matter she doesn't
00:46:21
know about the kids there's no way i would have known about it how do you not know this call george right now she don't you could it could be a bit
00:46:28
you're doing a bit i'm not doing a bit there is no way why i'm not doing a bit i'm not doing it let me call him you call him all right just everyone shut the [ __ ] up okay dude give me your phone put it down
00:46:41
i don't want you to talk okay hey give me your phone i'm not texting him give me the phone
00:46:47
it's down i'm not i i'm literally i'll show you i'm not texting him i'll show you
00:46:57
hello how are you oh doing good how's the baby oh baby's doing great hey um [Music] um hi george hi george
00:47:09
your wife does she have other children um just five beforehand why do they live with you yeah i did not know that i told you how come
00:47:21
you never brought it up i thought i'd told it to you guys i knew george and i said that to him and
00:47:27
he was like no he doesn't i was like how do you not know that you had five how old are these kids
00:47:33
um between like two and uh ten two and ten yeah two and ten and you have so you take
00:47:45
care of five other kids from a woman and um and now you have six kids yup uh-huh let me ask you something george
00:47:57
what bobby okay and i'm gonna say something very honest with you and i've never been so sincere
00:48:02
in my life i believe what you're saying to me right now but if i find out that you're lying i'm never going to work with you again and and that's a real
00:48:09
sincere thing so tell me now that you're lying right but if you it but if it's true that's fine i and i will accept the truth but if you're lying to me right now right
00:48:20
i honestly i and and you would take my word for it i will never work with you again okay you'll be fine without him tell me the honest truth now
00:48:31
bobby i've offered you to come over to my place for dinner with my family and you won't go many times
00:48:38
and that's already made it difficult to work together so i would like to you to take me up on this
00:48:45
once uh once code's over and you're we're safe and you'll fight and i'll see six kids
00:48:50
there meet the brood meet the brood yes you will all right i believe you and i'm sorry i didn't
00:48:55
know that fact love you george love you guys okay bye bye i did not know that i feel shitty should
00:49:06
see we've been working with you've been working for them for seven years but why wouldn't he show me photos or you wouldn't look at photos if someone had to show you photos nobody goes hey this is little sing-song and you'd go get the
00:49:18
[ __ ] out of it i don't care you wouldn't want it yes yes you would oh he said come over to the house and have
00:49:23
dinner you've never gone over the house for dinner that speaks volumes he's worked for you for seven [ __ ]
00:49:29
about it should wow so he has have you known about his kids rudy no he's never said anything
00:49:35
yeah yeah well she's too new yeah but i'm telling you right now i know i know for a fact that he's telling the truth because he would if he's tricking me
00:49:47
i i'm not kidding you right now i hate when people lie to me like that so if he's tricking me dude
00:49:53
i'm going to burn him so hard i'm being real but i know that he's not because he wouldn't risk that fact right
00:49:59
so he's telling the truth but but there's a part of me that once wants him to be lying because you're not you're going to see a side of me you've never [ __ ] seen it before
00:50:12
why because i don't like being lied to and i don't like i don't like pranks on me
00:50:17
i don't want people pranking me and deceiving me and i'm gonna i'll tell you who else i'm gonna take it out on all right
00:50:24
i will i'm not kidding you i will take it on you in what way i know people are listening right now going oh what is he
00:50:30
gonna do what is bobby lee gonna do he's acting strange and he's a bully or whatever right now correct you've never seen this side of me what is the side
00:50:37
the first thing i would do is i'd be like um i would probably go to kalala and go
00:50:42
listen i just have this feeling i just kind of want to start over and she's going to be like well like what i like how difficult would it be to start tiger belly over with a different name i'll be
00:50:56
mad at you i'll be mad at you right but i'll let it go yeah we'll do bad friends
00:51:01
right yeah well we'll we are going to find out fire everybody find a new people yeah so
00:51:07
texted him i made him say that no no no come here you guys come in here he needs to work the [ __ ] come on
00:51:15
come on come in here come in here andreas come in here come here pete come here honestly dude right yeah
00:51:27
i'll tell you something okay here he goes here we go last week right hey andrew hey george no no no
00:51:47
i'll talk to you later bye last week for the first time right i said you know what we'll exchange numbers did we not exchange numbers i want not right because i and also you
00:51:58
know earlier today i was kind of playing around with you this and that i'm trying to have a different relationship with you so we can get closer and we can do
00:52:04
other things together right if you're lying to me right now dude so does george have five other kids
00:52:09
[Laughter] that's the right [ __ ] that's the right i don't know you anymore right i don't know you right you're new right yeah right let me ask you something right now let's build this [ __ ] relationship
00:52:29
you and i with honesty right does he have five other kids what he doesn't you may be removed oh
00:52:36
god you're such a [ __ ] brat i just want to [ __ ] [ __ ] lie to me george in front of my
00:52:43
[ __ ] eyes and you know what's so funny about that kudos for george for finally getting a
00:52:49
pair of balls and [ __ ] having some fun because he always gets scared of you when you say some [ __ ] like that it's
00:52:54
super irrational and you like force him into this weird bullying right now i'm calling him right now call him i'm calling him right now hey okay time out
00:53:01
before you do it time out time i'm not gonna fire him no let's talk let's talk let's see yeah let's talk let's all talk for a second okay call
00:53:07
him yeah and seriously be like i know that andrew made you lie yeah so i'm not kidding i'm
00:53:15
gon bad friends is over we're still gonna work together but the andrew thing gone
00:53:23
i've never pulled up him yeah so what do you what are you gonna do you're gonna say you're outside because bobby just fired you yeah that's better okay but we gotta have it on the you gotta have it on the mic
00:53:34
yeah that's fine yeah yeah but but let me say something right now dude you have to be academy award-winning convincing
00:53:39
well get on the [ __ ] camera so we can watch it get down there so we can watch him get fired okay huge by the way
00:53:48
george by the way do not break i swear i won't i won't break what a nice quality
00:53:54
hey george hey sorry uh bobby got really mad i think maybe you have to call him i'm outside he just fired me oh just actually yeah
00:54:09
he uh i don't know i think pete is fine you know he's uh he's finishing the show today but uh i i guess i'm
00:54:21
yeah i'm just gonna go home but yeah he's like yeah there's a i mean he's really i think he's really
00:54:33
mad at you too and uh andrew is trying to call him calm him down you know but he poof
00:54:38
i never seen him like that he just broke the the title thing the bag and on the table and
00:54:47
he throws something on my face but you know i dodge it but yeah um [ __ ] you you told me that he was fun he's an [ __ ]
00:55:07
there must be something else going on well anyway uh i want to let you go but yeah i think you should call him okay okay sorry bye
00:55:22
very good he's gonna kill me he's gonna kill me i think you went a little too far i
00:55:29
thought you did it was fun throwing stuff overkill you know what i mean i wanted to make sure that i threw something in
00:55:36
there too no no no you did good yeah you did good the throwing stuff made it seem so i'm not gonna call him until he calls
00:55:41
me but he's gonna when he calls you yeah voice mail him he's gonna be voice mail him voicemail i'll go right to voicemail
00:55:47
right okay i'm gonna get fight on the other end no you're not you're tired you're hired
00:55:54
here forever and if he fires you i fire him you're gonna be the guy all right all right that's the power he fires you i fire him
00:56:00
we rehire you you own the company okay now should i call him again right to voicemail right away again right away one more time okay just like the third one i pick up yeah that's fine
00:56:12
all right but i need to hear it then but you but you've done this a lot with him of making him feel nervous but i
00:56:19
want you to be like super low-key be like no i made up my mind it's it's i'm done
00:56:25
because if you're high he'll know it's worth no that great great acting note thank you thank you he's not calling me again
00:56:31
because now he's nervous now he's strong he's [ __ ] actually [ __ ] nervous so do i call him yeah before he calls kalila yeah because
00:56:38
you're calling oh yeah oh yeah yeah you're right you're right i gotta call him you're right you're right i gotta call him now you're right you're right you're right right let me text clil and say
00:56:45
don't pick up if george calls hey bobby hey um dude i just i i just fired andreas
00:56:58
and i i think i'm thinking about firing pp i don't know pete really didn't do anything but i just don't like being
00:57:03
lied to and i'm listen dude i'm like you know i was rageful at first but i'm kind of to my senses and i think
00:57:10
it's just i think what happened was like over the years i um i just felt like the deal between all of us i think that's what the bottom line is like the deal between all of us
00:57:22
i felt like was unfair and then like it just came up when i found out the lines finds a prank or whatever but
00:57:28
i think that that you know i mean the hidden thing underneath it was like this might just resentment or whatever and
00:57:34
it's just i just think that you know i i think i want to start over man i think that's what it boils down to it's like i know it's like something stupid and petty about lying and being tricked i don't know it was so [ __ ]
00:57:46
weird man i never snapped like that before in my life i've never [ __ ] i've never done that
00:57:52
before in my life man i feel [ __ ] i [ __ ] got violent man and it's like i i just don't i thought i don't know man
00:57:59
i can't even know what words to say man um so maybe we wait a couple days and i calmed down but it's like i don't know dude it's like i don't like
00:58:10
being made fun of do i feel like i was just being bullied or something you know because i [ __ ] asked you i go directly i go dude i go you you're honest with me and then you
00:58:21
just didn't you went on with it and then it's like i thought you would owe it you would always back me dude you would always back me dude that's the
00:58:33
trust that we have i will always back you i thought it was part of a bit it's not how is that a bit
00:58:38
when i when i call you and i say dude you you [ __ ] it'll be done between you and i if you don't tell me the truth and then you st you hang up and now in my head i'm like i feel guilty that
00:58:51
i don't know the fact that you're five other [ __ ] kids bobby i i from my perspective i was jus i was got a text from santiago but but like i needed to tell you i had
00:59:02
you you were that piece of [ __ ] sorry you would side with him we're closer we are close bobby i thought it was completely a bit so i didn't want to ruin the bit i did not know the bit is
00:59:15
the bit okay let me just say something dude in comedy dude when when when when when one of the guys in the bit says to another guy hey be honest with me dude right now or
00:59:28
these consequences and then it's like when you don't do it it's like it crosses a line bro
00:59:37
i did not know i i've told like jules to like to fib for the for a bit before like by
00:59:44
saying that she brought the diaper i'm just saying this right now dude andres is done i [ __ ] that guy is a
00:59:50
weasel and he's done all right so i'll i'll talk to you tomorrow don't call koala don't don't
00:59:57
contact me i'll contact you [ __ ] man oh i know what we got now i know but he's going to let him lose it he's going to lose it no he's a
01:00:10
newborn baby okay okay oh god dude he's panicking how are you on his side she knows because she i like
01:00:16
george too this is super fun all right let her call george then who let rudy call george this is your acting
01:00:23
no yeah well then call him and tell him it's all okay okay yeah yeah yeah yeah why don't you do that because he'll like it coming from her
01:00:34
because by the way he's got a newborn kid he's probably having a heart attack there's a guilt there's a guilt but not really that was fun though god they were
01:00:41
good don't prank me please god you sold it so good what a not prank we just we're joking about him having kids i know all
01:00:47
right put it on speaker talk about blowing something out of proportion god hey jules george yeah it's a prank
01:01:04
it's a prank george it's a prom it's a prank it's a prank george [Laughter] he said they made him [Laughter]
01:01:29
wow that was funny so funny you know you know he's calling my girlfriend no he's calling someone
01:01:35
oh is he calling you yeah many years [Laughter] don't call my wife don't call anybody you just drive straight home
01:02:04
we're not having a tiger belly upload tomorrow i'm not sure if this episode of bathrooms is going up
01:02:11
he's kidding he's kidding when george when george tries to get tough it's uh it's just he can't do it it's like it's
01:02:17
like unacting george we love you george yeah georgie get back to us soon bye guys bye dude
01:02:24
yeah well let's give let's give a little clap for uh andres for participating and talking about here for a second
01:02:30
that was good well he has to get off the mic when he comes it doesn't matter i don't give a [ __ ] then we can't hear him it doesn't matter
01:02:36
i don't want andre waiting for something i want to tell you something listen he's sweating i know go stand over there
01:02:42
last week last week when we exchanged numbers you know and then today you know and what
01:02:47
you just did today huge it it now brings you up to a level with me that's like now we're peers yes i'm a little head ahead of you i have a little bit more power but my point though is is that we're getting there
01:02:59
and i wanted to say um thank you so much for your service congratulations let's do great work together in the future let's make movies let's do be creative and let's um find a way to get
01:03:11
george out of here okay all right thank you honestly [Laughter] so you wouldn't do you wouldn't like let's suppose okay let's say i go all right
01:03:28
is it a comedy you're gonna play what is it a comedy no well then why i don't know why i'm just saying that so you
01:03:34
wouldn't do a movie just based on money if it was a [ __ ] absurd amount of money right a million dollars right
01:03:41
million dollars to do what um it's a movie called gay hitler um uh first of all keep the money i'm in
01:03:48
right yeah that's hilarious but you're you know hitler's lover okay i'm in okay and um it's kind of it's kind of like soft porn i'm in
01:04:00
right so you know there's not going to be a real insertion going on even better okay but but if i want to i
01:04:07
can well you know yeah i mean perfect we well let me see who's playing hitler perfect
01:04:14
we just broke ron jeremy out of prison oh man so he's playing gay hitler okay right there's no real insertion going on but there is like skin contact fine right love it hold the
01:04:27
penis skin tone contact like i said keep the money that's my film [Music]