00:00:00
on the heels of me playing Boston on New Year's Eve which is part of the plug for the Tea Party we want to do a scene from my one of my
00:00:06
favorite Boston movies that departed he accused me once I put up with it you accuse me twice I quit if you make me
00:00:13
feel for my life I put a bullet in your head as if you were anybody else that's something you want to say to me William
00:00:19
you're 70 [ __ ] years old one of these guys is gonna pop you as
00:00:25
for running drugs what the [ __ ] you don't even need the pain in the ass and they're going to catch you you don't
00:00:30
even need the money I haven't needed the money since I took Archie's milk money in the third grade
00:00:36
tell the truth I don't need tea anymore but I still like it
00:00:42
point I'm making you see I got this rat gnawing cheese eating [ __ ] rat
00:00:48
questions come up questions see Bill you're the new guy and the girlfriend
00:00:53
why don't you stay in the bar when I get numbers your numbers everybody's numbers
00:00:59
is that something you want to ask me Frank start with you agree there is a
00:01:04
rat you said there was one I faced most of what I do on the idea that you're pretty good at what you should do sure
00:01:11
yeah all that aside but you Bill what would you do
00:01:17
how many of these guys been with you long enough to be disgruntled who needs more money than do you pay them you pay
00:01:24
them much you know it's almost feudal Enterprise
00:01:29
thank you the question is who thinks they would do what you do better than you do only one that can do what I do is
00:01:37
me you want to be me I probably could be you I know that much
00:01:42
but I don't want to be you heavy lies the crown sort of thing
00:01:48
Francis we're out of here Mr Costello you'll
00:01:54
have to set the alarm you've definitely never seen it yet stops up
00:01:59
let's see that over we'll give to the line again yeah just start with heavy you say Francis no no she's got to take
00:02:05
a tail ball because I want to be able to see her oh the transition heavy lies the crowns so Mr friends make him a French
00:02:11
accent probably bartender make them uh like Jamaican or whatever you know sure and the bar tent yeah you pick yeah you
00:02:17
pick good okay okay heavy lies the crown sort of thing
00:02:22
Francis you'll have to set the alarm
00:02:29
thank you Jimmy see you tomorrow there's a boat coming in up in
00:02:35
Gloucester in Gloucester French will give you all the details hey
00:02:40
bad friends I'm gonna be in Boston on New Year's Eve and New Year's Eve Eve right guys
00:02:48
everybody buy tickets to come see me on New Year's Eve and New Year's Eve please it's the final two shows the year before Bob and I go on tour next year in March
00:02:56
with Juicy Juicy and the bad friend's crew this is my last show go to andrewsantino.com andrewsantino.com
00:03:02
who are bad friends who are these two idiots
00:03:09
[Music] or something we're bad friends well not
00:03:15
during their Slaughter well that was from they slaughtered with this on whoa according to him I can't wear this
00:03:20
because they were Slaughter than this all right here and they took the land and then do they use this on the casinos yes yes
00:03:28
that's authentic that's from a casino which one uh
00:03:33
is my favorite one I played that one yeah you shoot as a Pechanga no it's from Morongo Morongo I'm sorry well
00:03:41
that's over there in Santa uh Santa Monica yeah all right I'll wear this one but this
00:03:47
right here no no no it's okay I get it I get it here's the deal why are we doing the Boston Tea Party
00:03:53
I don't know much about it do you not know anything about it's coming they lied who lied the English
00:04:00
what did they do about the Tea actually timeout yeah don't bring anything up you can bring up photos no information I
00:04:07
want you to give I don't know anything about that part of our history I want you to try I bet you do all right let me put the vest on real quick yeah
00:04:15
while you're putting your vest on juicy I want you to tell me what your version of the Boston Tea Party is
00:04:21
okay I'm gonna actually try what I think I've learned is the Boston's uh they
00:04:28
took over a ship the Boston's yeah okay the boss let me throw one throw my ass to us well could she finish hers before
00:04:34
you because I think I know one fact about it I don't want to say it first it has something to do with taxes ah no
00:04:41
taxation no taxation without tea without tea you don't see the tax you can't tax
00:04:47
a t you don't T attacks you know tea attacks you don't T attacks on this line yeah on this line but I got to tell you
00:04:53
yeah can you tax T these days I don't think you can t is not taxed you
00:04:58
can't tax the team you can't tax the goddamn and the Boston's of that that boss don't even go to Boston yeah no
00:05:07
taxation without representation that's the real one yeah wait no taxation without representation
00:05:14
yeah what the [ __ ] does that mean it's like how you can't get a role like I mean you get a role you have to have
00:05:21
representations
00:05:27
light them up light them up yeah you [ __ ] you man why because I called you
00:05:33
dude first of all it was three minutes late I had already [ __ ] texted him that I
00:05:39
was gonna be [ __ ] late there's that's the that rubs me the wrong way then it's Andrew's fault for nothing no you [ __ ]
00:05:46
you you know what you did dude all right and you know what I'mma Addie Letterman's side that's insane you're
00:05:52
right that's insane you I understand now her grip okay and her [ __ ] being on
00:05:58
Annie's side is bad for your career that's bad for everyone's career anyway so let me say this what I never I never
00:06:04
told him to call I already know that I I in fact two minutes he said should I call Bobby and I said do not call Bobby
00:06:10
do not call back two minutes in and he go and you know what he said to me he goes I produce the show bud
00:06:16
so oh don't even get me started that's what he said he said sit down and get him this guy is a lazy one what what do
00:06:22
you mean this guy's one of the he don't even show up to some of the [ __ ] shoots because someone else is here for me no he's also he's also he is not lazy
00:06:29
he's sick and he's here you're covered right now yeah one of the new ones it's my last day of covid
00:06:34
well what the [ __ ] are you doing here man oh it's the last time Pete yeah it's the last day you just said I was lazy
00:06:40
and I'm here he wanted to prove he's not lazy also Pete's the one that gave him coven oh really yeah he gave it to all of us have it okay tell me about the
00:06:48
Boston Tea Party as much as you know they were tired of the taxing so they went and they took all the tea and they
00:06:55
were like [ __ ] you and they pushed it off the boat and all the tea went into the water it's probably the dopest version I've ever heard they were tired
00:07:00
of the taxing so they took the tea I know there was tea and taxing a boat I just don't know the arrangement do you
00:07:07
want me to tell you what happened I'd love to hear it so but let me say this please I'm very
00:07:12
susceptible to your lies come on and your exaggeration come on so I don't want to be because I'm going to take
00:07:17
your information and then 20 years later I'm gonna be in like in a [ __ ] party Flex Freedman and some and some other
00:07:24
[ __ ] intellectuals and I'm gonna go well I know about that and I'm gonna repeat this story okay all right go
00:07:29
ahead all right so here's what really happened people from Boston well let me write it down give me a pen he can write it down
00:07:36
we can I need it you need it yeah yeah give me a pen and a paper please okay please Andrea's YouTube so he has to
00:07:41
[ __ ] coven I guess you'll give it to me
00:07:47
is this washed good dude I don't like the way you [ __ ] set it down dude oh my God
00:07:55
an apology let's throw that back sir [Laughter]
00:08:02
are you being real right now dude are you being real I can't believe it I can't [ __ ] believe it let's see how he does it this time let's see how he
00:08:08
does it this time oh
00:08:14
my god oh [ __ ] you you can't [ __ ] help yourself can you let me tell you something no no no that's it that's
00:08:22
Annie what you're copying Annie yeah but it's
00:08:30
your behavior dude all right do it [Laughter]
00:08:35
before before you [ __ ] do it dude I'm telling you right now dude you're on the line oh and it's gonna destroy a [ __ ]
00:08:42
friendship dude you're hurting his feelings all right go ahead you're on the line and you
00:08:48
destroy our friendship because if you don't do it gentle I'm gonna present you forever you're emotional right now I know I'm emotional because I really
00:08:54
think our friendship's on the line oh no that's real hard no but put it down nice
00:09:00
put it down nice very nice there it is
00:09:10
no that's not nice dude I know but that's not nice our friendship's over that's not that's not
00:09:16
yeah get out here our friendship's over wow that was you couldn't have done that nice wow no it doesn't matter you you
00:09:22
put it down okay Carlos Carlos is Boston you're the T right now thank you so much
00:09:28
thank you and he threw you into the [ __ ] video sorry Andrew hard on it he
00:09:33
did anyway tell me about the Bostons okay so here's what happened what year this all
00:09:39
takes place in 1964. already it feels I feel like I'm gonna
00:09:47
say no honestly I feel like it's not that wait really yeah yeah
00:09:52
1864. okay that's better 1864. still feel like
00:09:57
that's a little that's a little it was a time of kings and queens okay kings and queens and poppers and
00:10:04
Princess everybody owned a little person poppers and princes you could still own an LP legally you could own an LP LP so
00:10:13
the lp business was a Boomin right is that records higher than it's ever been
00:10:18
I think at one point record at one point like 6.4 but in 1864 what do they have
00:10:24
like Chopin on vinyl and Bach on vinyl or what would they'd have Jazz back then did they sure they did sure that it had
00:10:31
a lot of jobs Herbie Hancock who who I run yep Hancock who ironically
00:10:37
played the commencement ceremony at the Boston Tea Party On synth
00:10:44
let me just say something I don't think they had since in the 80s
00:10:49
look it up when was the synth invented I can show you right now reinvented or I think he invented this he was one of the
00:10:55
co-inventors the synthesizer was invented it says it right there what oh synth invented 1865. okay this is right
00:11:01
there even though that's in the search you put that down that's a trick dude okay dude that's
00:11:07
Google go ahead how do you search Google that's Google you don't search what you're looking for all right you're
00:11:12
right you're right it was like the facts before and he wrote enter 1860.
00:11:20
push press enter all right he's not gonna press that all right so so oh look
00:11:26
look whoa 1964. that's what I said the first time it was close
00:11:33
you're right the irony of that is so a little scary the Boston Tea Party happened in 1964. okay
00:11:41
you got your the number yeah thank you yeah so apparently so Boston people at
00:11:48
this point it's the only city in the United States where you're allowed to own and trade LPS and you can own and
00:11:54
trade LPS throughout your Friendship Circle only in Boston so in L.A you if
00:12:00
what would happen right if I went to you and I went hey chick I have the new Go-Go's they weren't around then but um
00:12:06
oh dude you're thinking I mean LP albums oh what is it oh little people [ __ ]
00:12:13
you're really gonna ask little people so back in the Boston they used to trade
00:12:18
Little People You Could Only trade whites this was in Pro this was in protest of the of the of this of the lp
00:12:24
trade embargo being being caught the little people trading when this was was this was ended this was a protest and so
00:12:30
then they of course threw all the quote black tea which was an attack on black
00:12:36
people really it was a bunch of racists right and then so then what happened so did
00:12:41
the English have anything to do with the black little people or they're the ones that started the the trading trade in the first place but it's like they were
00:12:48
thrown out here hundreds of years ago I know but they went to Ireland and Scotland where most of us live the LPS oh the that's right because I
00:12:56
saw the Lord would you could say Lord of the Rings it's the Lord of the Rings you know what I mean I know that and you
00:13:01
know by the way I'll just say Shire you know leprechaun LP was actually short for leprechaun if you just [ __ ] blew
00:13:08
my [ __ ] mind there it was leprechaun so my people say leprechauns nobody say LP well I have to say it because of
00:13:14
respect that my grandmother was traded she was a leprechaun my bad and she was traded interesting she got traded about
00:13:21
six or seven times okay so let me let me get this straight there you got it you got it I think you got it I don't think
00:13:28
I got it let me hear I really don't think I got it so I don't know anything about the boat but there's a boat
00:13:34
no I swear to God where are they gonna throw it over a harbor they were on a it was docked no engine oh so it's just
00:13:41
folklore yeah folk the boat is just fine so they built this boat and they never it never left the dock that was the
00:13:48
thing oh I see but can we just say boat yeah say boat all right so um back in the days of the kings and
00:13:54
queens and the poppers and the prince in 1964. so we're at a party right yeah
00:14:01
with a historian right they would lose these little people right only white ones right and I don't know why they had
00:14:10
to throw them overboard because my my professor Mr Santino never taught me that but they
00:14:17
just throw them over the board and um but was great because while they were being thrown overboard Herbie Hancock
00:14:24
was [ __ ] it's right there there's a full-blown party going on what was the house party what instrument was he
00:14:30
playing the synthesizer wow it was it's ironic because in 1964 is when it was
00:14:35
invented to the same it must have blown everyone's mind because they never heard anything like that correct yeah I mean they're like what is that a piano as
00:14:42
they're throwing some space right they hear the sins I get it wow and England that's where the little
00:14:49
people come from that's what I I can fill in the blanks now I get it you don't have to say anything so what happens is this okay I
00:14:56
get it right England comes over here on about with
00:15:02
the little people right and they're like hello hello you know you don't have one
00:15:07
of these right what is it you know what I mean what is it yeah it's Southern are they
00:15:14
Southern there's a couple of Southerners I didn't know Southern Boston there was a couple of Southern Boston people you know they say like like Boston accent
00:15:20
like oh it's from Southie right but Way South Boston sounds like this dude oh really that's why you sound nice wow
00:15:25
yeah I'm sorry Theo Vaughn could have come from I think he's from Massachusetts that's amazing yeah that's a [ __ ] great information there so um
00:15:32
so like hey hello hello hey man yeah yeah do you have one of these little
00:15:37
ones I've never seen them before here you go oh whoa thank you and then
00:15:43
you and then they threw them over we don't want we don't want it no thanks if they think threw it over right and
00:15:49
that's how Thanksgiving started that's exactly right all right Thanksgiving started
00:15:56
thank you for that history lesson I gotta tell you I'm a learner you are
00:16:01
yeah I'm a learner and I'm open and um thank you for that you're an open learner yeah you're an open book did
00:16:07
Indians have any native people have anything to do with that or no yeah what well they they you know yeah they what
00:16:15
they I I feel like this is what's gonna happen no yeah you're gonna do like a
00:16:20
Sandy Hook thing and say they didn't exist are you a [ __ ] native deniers you're
00:16:26
a native denier well yeah yeah yeah to be honest you've never seen one I've never seen it
00:16:40
one billion dollar sentiment settlement from the anyway I have to pay out Pachanga as a whole I'm sorry there's a
00:16:46
whole plug for Pechanga uh the Indians were involved actually the real truth truth truth yeah I would
00:16:52
love the real history of it a lot of some of this is lies yeah
00:16:57
oh sh just just the what the Herbie Hancock part yeah and I knew that you
00:17:02
could tell I could tell because he came around it was Count Basie that was there yeah he also he came around the 70s I
00:17:07
think late 70s he was a little early for him so Herbie Hancock no many of the many of these people dressed up as
00:17:14
Native Americans so when you zoom in you can see they were the first one to two to do brown oh so those guys were there those are white white men white guys in
00:17:22
brown makeup interesting they all got fired from their jobs the next day
00:17:28
they got canceled that was the first cancellation probably this was yeah these guys the shoemakers got canceled yeah
00:17:34
that's uh Kevin Shoemaker that's uh zoom in you can tell that's Kevin Shoemaker Hawkins you know these guys they're
00:17:39
historical figures oh yeah that's Kevin Kevin Shoemaker is the one with it see that see the his arms above his head
00:17:44
throwing that casket right that's Kevin Shoemaker who looks like an [ __ ] he 100 because in that box what's in there
00:17:51
a little person that's interesting they used to put them in boxes well they could fit yeah I know
00:17:57
they could fit they can't breathe but it's easier to ship easier no they can't breathe like a bug you you poke holes in
00:18:03
there right but then you throw them in the ocean it's it's like a cat in a bag you know why they used to do that you can only do so
00:18:09
much so far yeah I don't know what happens when they go in the ocean I don't know I think it floats maybe they
00:18:15
turn into mermaids that's all we got mermaids yeah maybe thank you Thanksgiving right this is how we got
00:18:21
mermaids you can't disprove it which means you can't just prove it that's a fact which means Little Mermaid is white
00:18:29
right listen up Disney Disney Little Mermaid I'll tell you why I'll tell you why because they threw little people
00:18:35
right that were only white as Andrew said right into the oceans we turned to mermaids and by the way there are no
00:18:40
black murders where were most of the little little people from England no no you're mine Ireland Ireland Scotland
00:18:47
redheads redheads what what is Little Mermaid Iris a redhead a redhead thank
00:18:54
you bro those are my people [ __ ] you just blew my mind right now on you dude that's it yes yeah yes that's how we got
00:19:00
her yeah by the way the the drawings of little mermaids huh Q oh I'm cute
00:19:19
yeah it's insane that you know she's actually a fish she's just a full fish here's the thing about Little Mermaid
00:19:26
she was only four foot six I did not know what Google how tall was a little mermaid four foot four foot six
00:19:31
proving my theory once again she was an LP from Ireland who was brought to Boston thrown in the ocean turned into a fish girl you know where mermaids [ __ ]
00:19:39
up is the fish part should have start from the knees why is that because the vag is covered up with fish vad
00:19:46
but do you know official have you ever thought have you ever thought about that see the beautiful mermaid how tall is
00:19:52
she just ask give keep going I want to hear no but you know my theory dude oh yeah I would
00:19:58
because mermaids are oh five four four five four five no and
00:20:03
the the oh there's different measurements yeah that's right in the ocean is different yeah because here
00:20:09
she's my height so anyway tell me your theory keep going
00:20:14
well I just think it would be cooler if the mermaids had the first part from the knee down so but you're saying but how
00:20:20
do you know fish vagina is cool or not because the bot the waist down it's not
00:20:25
a pant it's a part of their body yeah but how do you know what a fish vagina is like you have no idea well obviously
00:20:31
they're naked mm-hmm have you [ __ ] a fish like I I tried I couldn't find the badge
00:20:39
so but you saying fish don't have vaginas well I just you look at a mermaid and you go where is the vad
00:20:45
you've seen the frontal part of the [ __ ] mermaid uh do you care to explain centaurs centaurs yeah they have penises
00:20:53
you see them yeah but that's the animal penis it's not the human penis that's that is the horse penis that you see
00:20:58
yeah and the female centaurs you you see the vagina as well I know but I think they can't show it on oh it's Disney
00:21:04
it's Disney [ __ ] Disney it's all Disney's fault right that up top yeah but I've seen other mermaids
00:21:12
what's going on here Bobby do you care to explain pinch and zoom
00:21:19
what is going on here bud I can't go in the ocean is there something that you want to tell
00:21:24
us well you want to go to the ocean that's what happens is there something you want to tell me I'm a mermaid where's your look where's your vagina
00:21:30
that's what I'm saying I when I'm in the ocean I turn into a [ __ ] mermaid oh my God my dick is gone oh my God right
00:21:36
so that's what I'm saying I mean you literally Evolution [ __ ] it up yeah I've never seen you look happier
00:21:43
can I tell you something yeah can we get a good artist at home if there's a fan yeah that photo leave it
00:21:49
on that what it is right now please can we get someone who's really good at painting we'll paint this because it is
00:21:54
beautiful [ __ ] stunning it's stunning I want this in my house I want a painting a recreation of this photo
00:21:59
that is stunning it's amazing thank you wow anyway
00:22:05
you guys should remake Splash you should we make slime You'll Play Tom Hanks yes
00:22:12
yes and I'm I'm Hannah yeah Gatsby Hannah Gatsby I'll be Hannah Gatsby
00:22:18
there I like that you're writing stuff down yeah yeah you're big on writing yeah yeah I like it he's open he's a
00:22:24
learner I'm learning right now dude so um you feel so woke right now what do you mean I feel like your presence is
00:22:31
very alive I just woke up I had one hour sleep I had one hour sleep and this
00:22:36
morning I woke up well I couldn't sleep out because I had hunger pains what do you mean in the middle of the night at
00:22:41
like five in the morning I woke up I'm like I'm hungry did you go eat no but you know I always think because
00:22:47
McDonald's you know how McDonald's used to do 24-hour breakfast I know I miss it but then they switched it to 11 A.M so
00:22:54
there's that window you're like I can get it I can get it now and at six in the morning I broke down and I got it
00:22:59
what'd you get today two egg Wing muffins a hash brown one breakfast burrito orange juice and a Cinnabon
00:23:06
small man I ate it all and then I couldn't get back to sleep and then I kind of came here I was a little late why do you think you couldn't get back
00:23:11
to sleep after I was in a bad mood and I was full and I was like do you think it was maybe like 5 000 calories that
00:23:17
couldn't put you back to sleep that's a lot pop yeah I wonder if you read all that that was a couple of
00:23:22
breakfasts yeah I didn't eat anything yesterday though that's a problem I know but that well well can I tell you why and I
00:23:29
don't don't they told me not to say it say it this show is sponsored by Better Health
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00:26:28
um so yesterday I went to my favorite um Ramen place in Little Tokyo love takuya
00:26:35
ramen takuya and um so I was a party of six
00:26:41
and one person was late I waited an hour the Japanese guy comes out okay
00:26:51
I come with five where the other person and I go she's parking a car no forget it
00:26:59
been there done that I think that's what he said been there done that that is their slogan that is I have no idea
00:27:05
outside on the signage yes what he goes you know if not six you can
00:27:10
come I go what if she just doesn't come we're five then right no
00:27:16
no then he goes Party of Five Phillips I swear to God how do you have five
00:27:22
Phillips right the Phillip family comes in but Phillips comes up because we only have four and he goes no problem probably teach them immediately so now
00:27:29
I'm seething mad of course right I tell the the sixth person don't even come whoa so I find the Japanese dude in the
00:27:36
restaurant and I go well the sixth one's not coming so can we see it she's like now you have
00:27:42
to wait no yeah I had to wait another half an hour right and then so I was gonna [ __ ]
00:27:48
put it on my story I took a photo of the sign and I was gonna rip him apart but you didn't I didn't you know why why
00:27:55
quality food what I could have posted it when we got our food though
00:28:00
I know but the food is so good that you can't be mean that's true if the food is bad you could
00:28:05
be mean yeah because I'm gonna go back there again 100 in fact you know what what let's flip the script on them let's
00:28:11
kill him with kindness why don't you why don't you send a message to the man right now because no I can't right now dude let's do it okay
00:28:17
kill him with kindness all right what's his name let's just call them uh
00:28:22
uh careful twins there it is is that squint yeah that's not offensive
00:28:29
it's a it's a term of endearment yeah yeah let me put a little adjective like a little little Squints a little squint
00:28:35
yeah like a rapper Little squint yeah hey yo I'll say yo why not yeah yo yo little Squints what's
00:28:42
up what's up you know what I mean yeah Dr Bob here I want to be rapper too yeah but you're not an actor I know but this
00:28:48
is either as Dr Dre I think he actually is he got a doctor he doesn't have a doctor all right so I'm Bob
00:28:55
you could be missing Mr Bob Mr Bob you know man Grand Master Bob sure thank you
00:29:00
Grandmaster is a little what a stretch a little Kanye there yeah oh
00:29:06
it is Master oh that's right great my bad the grand Masters the leader of the KKK it is I think so well who's great so
00:29:13
Grand Master Flash was a [ __ ] in the cake that was kind of fighting back at the man that was like getting back at the man I'm getting I'm getting it back
00:29:19
at the man now too I like it Grand wizard right sorry Grand wizard so your grand wizard Bob yeah yeah that's better
00:29:24
right yeah that's taking power yeah yo little Squints yo yo grand grand Wizards
00:29:30
Bob hey it's Grand wizard Bob the cut yeah I want to say it again I'm Grand wizard Bob
00:29:35
what's up the KKK yo he's gonna clip this great music for that website great Roman dog shout out from Bobby
00:29:42
I'm doing my apology guys okay okay go go go well look at the camera don't look at us yeah go ahead and apologize to him
00:29:48
he's watching yo and sorry that I had to wait two hours you know what I mean
00:29:55
do it again we'll do it again I'll wait five hours next time with love with us
00:30:01
Grandmaster Grand Master Bob no grand grand wizard Bob ground wizard Bob
00:30:06
so that felt better thank you good yeah we got through that and now let's go there together yeah and we'll go you
00:30:12
know what we'll do next time we'll go I'll go with you and we'll say party of one but I'll go with you and
00:30:19
we'll see if they'll let you add a person to the party instead of one not being there that's a trick what do you
00:30:24
mean undersell right there's six people be like it's only a party of four then there's six
00:30:29
arrive he's like put it forward and you're like yeah we have six yeah see what he does yeah he's not gonna say
00:30:35
that no no that's a trick yeah that's okay yeah that's pretty good yeah so we wait longer yep that's great yeah yeah
00:30:42
or or we could just have the number we should have the number yeah yeah I have an idea go ahead we say four the three
00:30:50
of us go and they go where's the fourth person we say they're in the bathroom meanwhile you go to the bathroom and
00:30:57
come back in a disguise and we play the whole dinner so we Ethan hunted yes we
00:31:04
Mission Impossible either hunt maybe I can get one of those things the machines that he has you guys need to set up costumes in the bathroom at the
00:31:10
restaurants so I can be anybody okay right so you could you could literally be anybody
00:31:16
yeah right who do you want to be Orson Welles oh I could do an awesome oh no you know you know but something even
00:31:21
better Herman Cain oh whoa because he died yeah so did Orson but Herman came is like you know we should do all dead
00:31:28
people right but dead black politicians yeah let's do dead bat politicians yeah
00:31:33
of course yeah yeah you will have to eat two meals why because Herman Cain like to eat ramen a lot no just to prove it
00:31:39
to the to the waiter that there's did you hear his breakfast order I think he's gonna have no idea all right come on well I'm just saying that was a lot
00:31:45
of people I didn't eat a lot yesterday I'm not judging at all that was just a lot I'm surprised you can consume that much because you're a small man yeah
00:31:53
I had hunger pains and I don't like it but he just looked up hunger pains and it's indicative of something else what
00:31:58
what they come from other stuff hunger paying strong contractions in the stomach uncomfortable sensation these
00:32:05
paints don't always indicate a true need to eat something else is going on well juicy stomach cancer you want to
00:32:11
tell them no don't look there yeah no you're supposed to know yeah yeah why you're
00:32:16
getting these pangs is not because you're hungry but because there's something going on in your life that you
00:32:23
need to talk about um interesting what is it yeah what is it
00:32:28
I'm confused about what why why is it 600 pound life not 500 pound live 700 pound life
00:32:35
there's a thousand pound life no is it really oh yeah she just got married congratulations with a new show called a thousand pound life a thousand pound
00:32:41
sisters but that's not the strong because that's a there it is what a
00:32:46
thousand pounds Tammy and Amy Tammy just got married I think right okay so they changed it
00:32:53
there's you and me buddy what if that's not you and me I don't know what is that's us dude that's 100 US yeah that's
00:33:01
thousand pound sisters oh the one to the left made it she did yeah she on the right didn't make it I I I I I think I
00:33:07
think they're both still around no but just in terms of losing the way but that's not the goal of the show
00:33:13
what's the goal of the show just to be oh to be a thousand pounds yes yeah oh I see all the yeah they have to change the
00:33:20
title sequence and yeah you got to keep it or if you go down to 450. who's
00:33:25
watching these sisters yeah no yeah yeah that's her boyfriend right there or it was for one episode how how does that
00:33:31
work I'm I'm not being rude how does that well
00:33:36
I'll tell you this can you imagine how big that man's penis is it's got to be not big long well it has
00:33:45
a width there's no way it gets it's got to be able to snake around stuff right like that game it's a snake in the can
00:33:50
like in a canyon yeah right I get it he's got to wind it up Let it Go and then it has to find its
00:33:56
way to get in there I mean tough tough and and usually he doesn't find it no
00:34:03
yeah yeah that's the whole part of the game most of the time it runs into a dead end like it's one of those like maze like
00:34:11
the Maze and The Shining yeah that's exactly right right the Maze and The Shining yeah there's just a dead end
00:34:16
right but when he gets through once a year hooray that's great Victory it's victory yeah these girls one of them
00:34:22
just got married see which one got married oh she had a baby you look at her Amy Amy had a baby Amy had a baby but she
00:34:29
looks great there she does this she lost a ton of weight oh good good yeah there's all the baby yeah
00:34:40
[Laughter] insane that's insane yeah that's cute
00:34:45
that's amazing that's cute good for them yeah but what I'm saying is is that it's a thing it like because I was watching
00:34:51
one this morning and there was a girl that which one were you watching 600 pounds that one's okay yeah so there was
00:34:56
a girl that was 550 600. she met a guy in England they were playing games yeah yeah man
00:35:03
yeah it seems like take time or whatever
00:35:11
it's just all those it's those video games where you have to like make burgers you like have to like
00:35:16
put them on the grill and do the fries and then Serve the People that was so mean so they're pancakes
00:35:22
yeah they're playing cake time right online you know what I mean and in real life in real life yeah and he flies to
00:35:29
[ __ ] Texas or Arizona and he just marries her that week and now she's gained even more
00:35:38
way after the marriage after the marriage but like in this guy's just got regular sized
00:35:43
white he's a Joe Schmo yeah yeah but he has to think that that's his thing that's got to be his thing now are you
00:35:50
saying the F word what fetish oh I I mean come on I don't know what do
00:35:56
you think what constitutes a fetish a form of sexual desire in which gratification depends to an abnormal
00:36:03
degree on some object or item of clothing or part part of the body
00:36:09
so it's just an abnormal degree your desire your sexual desire
00:36:14
gratification depends so your your your your your your sexual uh uh gratification is purely dependent upon
00:36:22
one thing an object object item of clothing or a part of a body yeah but you know what's [ __ ] up
00:36:29
I've seen this a couple times on that show is now they're these people make
00:36:35
money online because that's a fetish and people want to just see them eat cakes just eat food
00:36:40
yeah yeah and then I guess they jerk off you know what I mean they jerk off to people eating cake yeah they find it sexual do you have a fetish
00:36:48
I don't think so because I'd be honest if I've had something I like
00:36:53
um I like long faces like horse face I just every girl I've had has a long face yeah
00:36:59
and the women I match with on usually having longer faces really yeah I think
00:37:04
mine was you know what mine is I like uh I like nibbling on um earlobe that's not
00:37:10
a thing though Everyone likes that I really like it I like it too but I like biting hard okay well no I think I have
00:37:17
a thing with ears maybe that's my thing I bite my dog's ear okay I nibble on her ear but that's your thing how about you
00:37:23
Jess yeah it's not really sexual it's just like I like I just want to bite our little [ __ ] ears I I don't know if I
00:37:28
have I'm sure I do but I can't think of anything I think spit is weird I know I know people that like yeah I've spit
00:37:34
stuff I know things I don't like yeah yeah oh there's a million things I don't like who stuff is insane pee poopy spit
00:37:41
pee pee pee's okay you've been peed on no but I see it and
00:37:47
I think that's neat you know what's gonna be honest with you
00:37:52
when I do see them I mean on PornHub yeah I do watch it I me too yeah and I
00:37:59
and and it's usually guy peeing on a girl no I like the other way oh I don't really yeah I would never do it because
00:38:06
I'm um a neat freak in a germaphobe and I'm thinking immediately about my like bed and my sheets and I'm like oh my God
00:38:11
they're piss all over the place like anytime somebody mentions squirting and they're like so dope and I'm like I don't know it sounds it sounds like such
00:38:17
a clean up job yeah like it sounds like such a nightmare yeah I'm just Christian I think when it comes to death God bless
00:38:23
brother you too God bless I love you Americans today look at us yeah yeah I
00:38:30
love uh we are good since Grand wizard Bob we are a good old-fashioned Puritans yeah and somebody a fan can we make a
00:38:36
grand wizard Bob sign for him to hang behind him I love it I really like it when uh the guys on top and I'm just
00:38:42
laying there oh you like no work it's just the missionary yeah I just love a good missionary yeah yeah old school
00:38:49
yeah yeah you know what's so funny I like that like there's a new generation of people that that there's just like sexual Revolution people are trying so
00:38:55
much stuff now you know everybody instinctively still loves missionary oh yeah it's the go it's it's everybody
00:39:02
loves it it's the standard it's the go-to the go-to yeah it's you know what it's like McDonald's breakfast exactly
00:39:09
do you think you can't do it all the time yeah but when you do yeah it's great it feels right it's fun it's
00:39:14
comfort food it's comfort food yeah yeah missionary position is comfort food what'd you say Do you think the Puritans like only knew of missionary and like
00:39:21
the first person to freak out all right yeah like 69ing
00:39:28
standard cat paws weird [ __ ] 69ing was tamed to them that
00:39:34
was like lame to them that was their missionary yeah that's the only thing you have to look
00:39:40
forward to it's [ __ ] that's the only thing you can't watch SportsCenter you can't right well there's nothing to do
00:39:46
there's nothing to do because that's what when you're plowing in the field I can't wait to [ __ ] to plow I can't wait
00:39:52
to get home and plow yeah yeah that's the only thing imagine that because there was nothing like think of how boring have you ever seen that when a
00:39:59
kid rolls up uh has a stick and rolls a wheel down the street you've ever seen this no this was like from the [ __ ]
00:40:04
not when you were a kid with me let me explain it to me don't Google it so I'm
00:40:09
a kid centuries ago okay a game for little children was to take a stick and
00:40:15
smack a wheel down the road a wheel or a ball a wheel they why and
00:40:21
that's my point I don't get it look at that rolling in old-fashioned hoop
00:40:27
that was the walking on stilts they would just [ __ ] lift themselves off
00:40:32
the ground and walk around town duck duck on the rock you try to throw rocks at Ducks
00:40:38
whoa poor ducks that was their war zone right that was their war zone throw rope
00:40:44
rings around a steak which became horseshoes essentially oh I see but let me see rolling an old-fashioned hoop
00:40:51
please Google that this you've never heard of this juice have you ever seen that I've seen it it's like I cannot
00:40:56
believe that's a thing this is the 1800s kids with hoop rolling look look they were just back black and
00:41:03
white look at that this kid this is how he's getting off this is his fetish he's rolling a hoop down the street and
00:41:10
that's fun for these [ __ ] this is CR this is always creepy to me little girls how these little girls have
00:41:17
babies on there they have babies that young oh yeah you start really young back then you'd have a kid you'd have a kid when you're five or six
00:41:25
he's like [ __ ] that these are all grandparents yeah those kids those eight-year-olds are definitely gay
00:41:30
he didn't stop to say hello it says that in the title yeah look how fast he blows past these babes or that's how fun that
00:41:37
is that's how much fun yeah I'd rather do this than look it doesn't matter to this guy
00:41:44
they go hi Johnny yeah Johnny go how Here Comes Johnny let's show him our babies hey Johnny look
00:41:52
our babies [ __ ] you [ __ ] I'm hooping do you think he goes like does grown
00:41:58
adults back then do that I hope not I know I think some did you
00:42:04
think some did I think I would do I would be doing that oh you're proving because I play games video games some
00:42:10
adults do the ones that are right crazy little little imagery it doesn't look
00:42:15
like adults really did it's like video games today by the way look at those kids how is that a nine-year-old 80 year
00:42:21
old how is that a kid who's also got a retirement account yeah oh my God look
00:42:27
at it the kids did look older they looked so old because they were working he works at the factory that's in between shifts yeah true yeah he gets
00:42:34
sit on his face doordash oh my God today um I got a meal from doordash it came
00:42:40
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00:44:01
fees with doordash subjects to change terms apply quip let's you know you know I've had rotten mouth you've got rotten
00:44:07
mouth disease I've had rotten mouth all my life you got rmd because as a kid um my mom would get me the like the 15 pack
00:44:13
of toothbrushes right yeah and like you know horse hair yeah and then you know
00:44:19
years ago I discovered quip yeah I mean because um I have another podcast that they sponsored yep and my teeth has been
00:44:26
sleeky clean let's give him the chopper smile first yeah look at that okay so Andrew okay so um good health starts
00:44:33
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00:44:39
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even their toothpaste is delicious it's good yeah and it's really good track can improve your brushing with free quip app
00:45:03
earn amazing rewards like free refills products Target gift cards and much much more hey so we both love quip it's great
00:45:10
get yourself a clean mouth stop messing around with that old school traditional toothbrush quip wants to know who has
00:45:16
the dirtiest mouths so go to getquip.com Bobby to vote for Bobby or getquip.com
00:45:22
Santino to vote for Andrew and you'll get your first refill for free
00:45:29
g-e-t-q-u-i-p.com slash Bobby or slash centeno that's your first refill for free at getquip.com Bobby or getquip.com
00:45:36
Santino quip the good habits company we know some guys that get so much badge
00:45:41
yeah is that condescending to say it that way no I don't hook up a lot yeah
00:45:47
they get they get laid a lot they get laid a lot that's a nice way yeah and you know you look at like Bowie
00:45:52
Mick Jagger Lou Reed there was a photo of them in the early 70s and they're kind of kissing at a dinner table I've
00:45:59
seen that yeah right you've seen that right and I think one of them said you know we get so many
00:46:09
so what are you trying to say that you think that we you and I can start kissing our famous friends no no what
00:46:14
I'm saying is I don't get enough to I'm I'm still stuck on no no I haven't evolved no you can be the other side of the coin right like that could be just
00:46:21
our super rich friends that are running out of they're getting too much puss they then they'll start wanting to kiss
00:46:26
us yeah but I'm the guy in back of them yeah yeah I'm watching yeah watching
00:46:31
like I'm not doing that oh you know I'm Mick jaggering this who am I you're definitely Lou Reed oh no but look at
00:46:38
Max getting into involved yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah wow now do you honestly think that this
00:46:43
was this was a symptom of the times as well like this was like it was cool it was sexual Freedom it was 1973. like
00:46:50
there was a lot of drug use they were partying like it's almost like this is how I feel like sometimes these
00:46:55
guys got caught up in [ __ ] and they had no idea they were doing it they were just like laced up but there was no social media so you took a photo where are they gonna put it you guys also have
00:47:02
a lot of photos of you guys kissing each other and being naked yeah
00:47:10
wait no no they ran they got so much push we do it because we love it that's
00:47:15
true so we're actually gay we're gay we're gay we're gay yeah yeah they love yeah
00:47:21
they're trying to do that when you and I die yeah they're gonna show only photos at our funeral of us kissing and nude oh
00:47:28
my God we gotta stop doing that no no we gotta keep going at this point yeah yeah why not it's not like there was one yeah
00:47:34
there's a thousand photos of you and I on each other naked there's a sec we have a full-on sex toy photo shoot yeah
00:47:41
so juicy out of the three which which one would you hook up with first out of Mick Jagger Lou Reed and David Bowie
00:47:48
David Bowie right yeah it's funny because and it's not that he's the most attractive is but he's the most wild and
00:47:55
cool that's how the guy feels on thousand pound life or whatever what what a thousand pound lady what
00:48:02
does that show you watch yeah yeah 600 pound life six pounds yeah yeah it's it's how cool she she's she's Bowie to
00:48:09
that guy it's not about her looks right she's about she's bowling
00:48:24
I guess that's true by the way 600 pound life the one where it's um the doctor doctor no doctor no is so funny the
00:48:30
great did you ever see I made him do a cameo for me you know to promote my tour dates I did it years ago a couple years ago I think we showed it on here but
00:48:36
he's like go see Andrew Santino how'd you meet him I get Cameo I paid for a cameo online oh you just got it yeah
00:48:42
yeah because I love he's so mean put up a picture of that cat I love this guy he's so mean to them they'll be like I'm
00:48:48
really trying he's like you're not try hard enough you're too pet you're so fat yeah yeah he's so judge Iranian I know
00:48:55
you can tell I love it he's irate and I rate Iranian yeah there he is look at the one right next to it to the right
00:49:00
look at that face that's the one he usually makes you need to stop Lou you need to stop eating bad food so he must
00:49:07
be the he's the best in town I think with gastric bypass I I also think it's he's it's a character he looks like that
00:49:13
he looks like somebody drew him yeah he looks like a dragon came to life so I think they just like his personality was
00:49:19
a casting thing it looks like it to me all right you think there's not I mean there's millions of doctors that do that but so he's not the best that to do it I
00:49:27
highly doubt it I think he's just Pro the best that do it are like that's like the Illuminati [ __ ] you know like
00:49:32
whoever like Will Smith goes to to get any kind of surgery done right those people you'll never know they don't exist they get paid in [ __ ] direct
00:49:38
deposits exactly wouldn't that be that's what Rich got you want to talk about rich stuff guys
00:49:43
that have their own doctors that they don't have to have a practice Yeah that's wild [ __ ] where the doctors just like only go to rich people's homes they
00:49:50
don't even have an office they don't even have like proper uh doctoral [ __ ]
00:49:55
like they don't they don't have to do anything doctorally they have a layer they have a layer yeah well Michael
00:50:00
Jackson had one and he killed him he did and you can and you can now sign up to
00:50:06
be one of his clients what was that drug that he gave him uh
00:50:12
uh [ __ ] I know it too on the tip of my tongue it was uh I think it was with d it starts with a d or an F propofol
00:50:18
propofol P yep
00:50:24
profile it's a problem have you ever had propofol oh I'm still here I know well I
00:50:32
don't you I want to see what that feels like what's it what does it do to you Propofol there's a painkiller
00:50:38
it turns the skin white let's see it says right there propofol
00:50:44
is a comp it can cause wait what sedative it's a sedative to help you relax during surgery or whatever but if
00:50:50
he was asking only for that that must be the best one look at that that medicine has been used recently to sedate
00:50:56
coronavirus oh wow whoa patients who need medical ventilation in
00:51:01
the intensity so if you're on a ventilator and I see you they give you propofol to chill out to before you die yeah oh that's that's a good night long
00:51:08
kiss good night I wonder yeah wow whoa yeah imagine having millions of
00:51:14
dollars like Michael and you can still he's a b he was a bee and then you can just get any doctor to
00:51:20
write you any subscription prescription what if you still had to go to Walgreens
00:51:26
wait in that line yeah hey I think I have a prescription here yeah last name
00:51:32
Jackson can I see your ID yeah and then they're
00:51:37
like he's like I got one for Latoya I have one yeah he goes through all of them there's no Michael in there do you
00:51:43
think Michael Jackson ever had to [ __ ] show his ID for anything no don't you know the story we've talked about on the show he had to rent out a
00:51:48
grocery store to know what it was like to shop in a grocery store I'm just saying if he gets pulled over the by a cop though do you think he has to never
00:51:54
driven a car he never drove a car that's right he never he look at that what is that what is that Motown ID card for the
00:52:00
for the record record label yeah it could be like a oh yeah no it's for it's when you go on okay compare the two that
00:52:07
photo and now look at that oh yeah that same guy they're like this isn't it
00:52:13
but now let me ask you a real question yeah and I'm not making fun yeah I actually am not I'm actually a legitimate question of the room do you
00:52:19
think I'm not I just don't do it yeah you're
00:52:24
doing it no I'm not yeah you are I was gonna do you think what do you think that he was this was trans before trans
00:52:32
that he was kind of one of the first like no no I mean yeah no I'm being I'm not
00:52:39
being so he's transitioning to a ghost because that's what he looks like yes no
00:52:45
he's the first person I want to be the first ghost he's the first trans white for the first trans White
00:52:51
this is Trey he is identifying as a white person no he's white he was I
00:52:56
don't think he was going for white what the [ __ ] are you talking about for something else Beyond
00:53:02
you know you go to Bed Bath and Beyond yeah Beyond The Pale Beyond The Pale
00:53:07
what do you mean wow do you not know what Beyond The Pale I saw a triangle of sadness you did
00:53:13
so [ __ ] I brought my brother did you cry not that I cry we cried laughing
00:53:19
that's what I'm saying listen I my brother only likes you don't mean those kind of movies you
00:53:26
know with the [ __ ] what is people you know with the dick in the mouth oh yeah yeah yeah
00:53:33
he loves those movies right yeah yeah
00:53:39
you're right in the butthole right so anyway um he loves those movies right so
00:53:45
we're sitting in this Art House movie the the the one in the uh Sunset right by the store
00:53:52
oh lemony whatever they call MC AMC now gross why I just missed when it was Mom
00:53:57
and Pop I know but still it's like this little art artistic theater yeah yeah yeah and when you when you're watching a
00:54:03
movie like a cans you know I mean Palmdale or award movie they show all
00:54:08
these like the trailers are not Marvel no it's the same kind of movie correct
00:54:13
right so when my we're watching this [ __ ] and the trailers my bows like already going let's get the [ __ ] out of
00:54:19
here man because it's like Aristocrats you know what I mean people drinking tea it's like the entire a24 slate yeah he
00:54:25
didn't like it it's the Boston Tea Party but once that movie started I mean just 10 minutes in my brother was just we
00:54:32
were laughing incredible it's so incredible have you seen it no but I just did your brother's podcast
00:54:37
what I just did it and I and I I just uh he wanted me to ask you about a story
00:54:43
well go ahead all right since it came out kind of naturally oh he said to ask you about a guy named Derek Oliver
00:54:51
[Laughter] what about Derek Oliver Bob
00:54:58
I don't know he said to ask him about it I think we've talked about him we have
00:55:04
well well she needs a response at some point yeah I'm gonna give her one no no I mean
00:55:10
I'll give her one now okay you want more yeah yeah how dare you let me talk let me talk all right
00:55:18
I bring you into this [ __ ] family right he did yeah let me talk you don't
00:55:23
interrupt okay I look at the the Sea of you know I mean
00:55:29
people at your level and then go which one which one which one which one can I
00:55:35
help a gigantic career you know I'm talking
00:55:40
to Millions baby the M's yeah the lights you mean camera camera action I actually
00:55:46
start right and I go you know this one I have to come I have to I have to get
00:55:52
people's approval right I have to fight for it you did a couple of times you couldn't make it right right I still
00:55:58
stuck by your side you did right I bring you in you kill it you make me look good it's mad right and then the machine's
00:56:05
starting right and I tell everyone my agents my managers people everyone I see she's the next one she's up she's a star
00:56:13
right then you come into my [ __ ] home right and you bring up Derek Oliver oh
00:56:18
yeah shut the [ __ ] up juicy all right stop [ __ ] around all right what did I
00:56:25
do to you everybody I know but so why do you treat me like this I don't know who
00:56:31
he is treat me like this man I'm guessing not a friend
00:56:37
give her a synopsis he beat the [ __ ] out of me
00:56:42
he accumulated in front of 300 kids at my school yeah and it was the most
00:56:47
embarrassing day of my life no they were not friends yeah yeah so enemies he beat you up yeah
00:56:53
oh yeah it's cool oh yeah yeah I bullied him so you were asking for it
00:57:01
wait he would eat ice cream I would stick in his face right he'd be walking
00:57:07
with his books I [ __ ] [ __ ] you you know what I mean nerd right yeah so one
00:57:13
day I don't know his dad or his uncle or somebody told him confront him so Derek Oliver goes hey man meet me at the field
00:57:20
by your house you know what the feel I'm talking about everyone's coming right and I go yeah you little [ __ ]
00:57:26
let's do this last one and then I got knocked out
00:57:33
in front of everyone and then from then on ice cream in my
00:57:39
face [ __ ] falling from my arm was Steve there yeah oh yeah
00:57:45
he was in Derek's corner he was just it was Carnival thirsty was on mine but
00:57:51
then my brother's kind of just went to the other side yeah so anyway it was the most
00:57:56
humiliating shameful day of my life and I regret me treating like that guy like
00:58:02
that I learned a valuable lesson I'm not a bully okay I'm a victim yeah yeah oh
00:58:08
no yes yes I'm a victim we've all had these moments yeah yeah so thanks for
00:58:13
doing that that was embarrassing moments though man do they they shape you as a person in a good way they do yeah I
00:58:19
don't know if I tell you this but it reminded me that I wrote a love note to a girl one time
00:58:24
it's just so embarrassing in college my freshman year a girl who I crushed on super hard I slid it under her dorm door
00:58:31
freshman year I came home one day yeah
00:58:36
to her reading the note all right came back to the dorm I saw her reading the note with like two other
00:58:42
guys from the dorm and three other girls and they were dying laughing oh my God
00:58:49
I wish I was there oh my God I wish I was there I genuinely I contemplated did
00:58:54
you cry no no no I I went right back outside and I looked at the main road it was a four-laner and I thought
00:59:01
I gotta jump in front of it I was like how if I get hit do I die
00:59:07
right away what is a drag on yeah because I was dude I was that [ __ ] me
00:59:13
up but where is she now I'd love to know it's Meghan Markle she married oh I see oh my gosh she went up
00:59:20
she went up she went up but she went up yeah no where is she now who the [ __ ] knows man that [ __ ] you have one of those where it [ __ ] you up I did so
00:59:28
when I was in junior high I had my first crush and we had instant messaging at
00:59:33
this like at AOL instant messaging like just came in yeah it was like brand new and I was messaging him and it's funny
00:59:40
now I can't even think of his name but I was so obsessed with him but I was messaging him and I like copied his name
00:59:46
and pasted it and would write his responses like trying to be funny yeah yeah but it just like freaked him out
00:59:53
and then he wouldn't talk to me ever again he's like I think there's a glitch in my computer he like got really scared he didn't get
01:00:00
that that that was your version of flirting it was like modern day witchcraft to him I think because yeah like how did you Court kalila I mean
01:00:07
like what was your chat what was your scheme on getting her to be interested in you
01:00:12
time right to wait it out you were just because there was two other
01:00:17
um yeah right and I go and they were like you know different than me like rugby players
01:00:23
athletes guys guys men men with hair just men all over their
01:00:30
bodies yeah musk muscles and so she had like one was a professional soccer player whoa in Spain Ronaldo something
01:00:37
like that right and then another one was a Australian rugby player Jesus I would
01:00:42
like to [ __ ] either of these yeah yeah yeah and I'm like look at I'm looking at them going well they live in different countries so
01:00:49
that that helped that always helped yeah distance Health distance helps right
01:00:55
proximity so I have time right right and then what I did was I you know
01:01:00
I I you know I love bomb you love Bob I love bomb now this is
01:01:05
controversial do you know what love bombing is it's like love bombing is when you like you're like obsessively
01:01:11
you know you're attempt to influence a person by demonstrations of attention and affection so you're like right away you're like you say stuff like hello you
01:01:19
know you're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen you know I'll do anything for you give them gifts this and this this but a lot of the guys when they love
01:01:25
bomb and they once they have sex they leave that's that's why it's [ __ ] up well psychologists have identified love
01:01:30
bombing as a possible part of a cycle of abuse and have warned against it very highly right but what do they [ __ ]
01:01:36
what do they know but also can I just defend myself here though
01:01:42
but what I'm doing now is I'm not doing the I'm doing the polar opposite right you're hate bombing yeah yeah
01:01:50
yeah yeah I hate you and it seems to work better it's challenging don't show up yeah like
01:01:58
yeah [ __ ] you don't go to money no what I'm doing I've been doing is it's like being mindful of what I say yes right and promise things can't and not and not
01:02:05
see them every single day maybe once a week you know what I mean and just get to know each other we can't have a balance yeah have a balance have a
01:02:12
balance that's healthy well I'm trying to do because I just don't want to repeat the same kind of things where it's like dude that's I mean that's
01:02:18
honestly I'm no joke all jokes aside that's huge growth especially for you learning about what you like and you don't like at this point in your life
01:02:24
relationship wise yeah huge growth to be like well I'm not going down those [ __ ] roads anymore yeah it's hard because you've already done it yeah but
01:02:30
I will say when you and I talk privately off the show about dating stuff it seems like
01:02:35
you're finding your way into what's comfortable for you yeah I
01:02:41
think my self-esteem is better yeah yeah it is it's much better I know
01:02:47
right so it's like um that helps because you feel really good about yourself I feel good about
01:02:52
myself yeah and I feel about where I'm at and it's like there's a confidence that I have do you feel good about yourself yeah that's awesome that's
01:02:59
awesome that is [ __ ] awesome you know what I feel like is a white good looking white so um
01:03:05
um not sorority what's the other one that's how you feel yeah you feel like a fractal I feel like a white frat guy
01:03:12
with [ __ ] six pack you don't have to say white track it's it's redundant just say frat guy oh yeah that's right right
01:03:21
yeah don't you see them you know they do Stomps and stuff oh yeah it's [ __ ] tight are there Asian frats yeah it's
01:03:26
called it's like every Ivy League school it's just a frat oh that's right so but um I feel like uh the popular good
01:03:33
looking dude on campus what are the Asian fraternities can you still rush even though you're 51
01:03:39
do you think oh let's see the Asian fraternities all right right Pi Delta Psi Lambda Phi Epsilon Alpha Kappa Delta
01:03:46
Phi too many words you can only have three two
01:03:51
[Laughter]
01:04:03
they have a different style of hazing you know like
01:04:12
you have to Chuck you have to chug Ramen Ramen juicy no noodles yeah what is it
01:04:19
Lambda Phi Epsilon International fraternity that's the biggest Asian okay it says the world's largest Asian
01:04:24
interest fraternity founded in 1981 right after the Boston Tea Party at Los Angeles California International
01:04:29
fraternity guide men and lifelong Discovery hey let's reach out to Lambda Phi Epsilon and see if they can make you an honorary memory I would love to so
01:04:35
anybody that's I always want to be anybody that's a Lambda it's a try fraternity it's dry so that's right
01:04:41
it's great yeah it's awesome that's awesome okay cool yeah so what do they do they have games
01:04:47
um they're known for providing outstanding leadership philanthropy and advocacy in the community
01:04:55
yeah it's not fun at all well yeah yeah you know it's a dry fraternity so no
01:05:00
drinking no drugs is there more of a druggie one yeah where's the drug well we can't send him to the drug one why
01:05:06
not just well it's for the show yeah I don't have to like partake no he just wants to be around yeah yeah I mean he's
01:05:11
still around us and we're toxic yeah you don't want to be around one you know we're just smoking opium and Asian fat
01:05:17
asian frat not dry no that's not gonna get it done party party best eight best
01:05:24
Asian party party fraternity best Asian party fraternity I don't know what a kid
01:05:29
search no one's searching this
01:05:35
Asian masculinity well we're not we should sway away from that one Duke University frat holds racist Asian
01:05:42
themed party let's go there yeah that's me yeah but that wouldn't I
01:05:48
wouldn't they would I'm gonna be the vict yes you gotta fight you gotta oh that's right you gotta fight the
01:05:53
challenge myself yeah when I walk in the frat house I'm gonna go yeah what
01:05:59
they'll do it in unison will you come with me oh yeah I'll be one of the guys in the France no why you want me to work I want you the eyeliner yellow pretend
01:06:06
to be Asian you say her wrong they'll sniff me right out yeah hero
01:06:15
Hero perfect I don't like it I don't like anything she gets nervous anytime
01:06:21
we do that do more Asian you're allowed to with him if he says that you're allowed to yeah I beg of you she's gonna get because you brought up she gets
01:06:27
canceled because of that what because she says hero I wouldn't get canceled now it'll happen like 20
01:06:33
years that's right 20 years from now oh that's always do you really think of stuff like that sometimes it happens all
01:06:38
the time yeah but on our podcast one of our best friends is Asian and we're joking with him I think it's okay no but it's interesting when you said the
01:06:43
n-word when we started the show that's not okay because she's thinking because of what
01:06:50
Shane Gillis went through yeah right she's now thinking forward Shane Hills didn't have an Asian guy on the show
01:06:55
with him I understand a little different it is a little different but it's just interesting that that's something that you have to think of
01:07:02
you and I don't yeah but why don't we think of this though yeah we do it right
01:07:07
yeah yeah we're fine no that's not the right comparison that's not we're just we're also older
01:07:13
and of a different generation and she's she's part of a more young Progressive she they have to be more conscious at
01:07:19
her level they're so much more judgmental of each other our peers know that it's all love and we're kidding her peers are [ __ ] probably being like I
01:07:25
heard what you said on that podcast and that's not cool not to my face but yeah yeah behind your back really of course Bob this is their dear this is a Young
01:07:32
Generation Well they're trying to be woke and Progressive and be conscious of what comes out of their mouth we're old
01:07:37
idiots if I say hero they'll say goodbye
01:07:43
that's great thank you for being a bad friend could I possibly plug one show I'm 100. okay I'm headlining the San
01:07:51
Jose Improv on January 18th and I would love to see some of you guys out there go out there January 18th San Jose
01:07:56
Improv and go watch the juice please foreign
01:08:02
[Music]
