00:00:00
hey bad friends we got new merch okay guys check out these beanies these beanies high quality very high quality
00:00:07
yeah I love them so I love the way they turned out dude these if you're not you're not cool if you don't have one you're not cool if you don't have one
00:00:12
we're back to the old school the OG our OG faces on here it says bad friends on the back turn around and show them what
00:00:17
it looks like on the back the shirts are so high quality these are so comfortable oh look at that dude the OG is back on a
00:00:23
bad friends uh merch.com badf friends merch.com you two are bad friends who
00:00:28
are these two idiots woo a white dude and an Asian dude you two are
00:00:34
disgusting you two are something we're bad friends um first of all I have to say
00:00:41
some great things have happened in the last week wow and what I want to say is um what's happened Congress is back back
00:00:49
in session they've been in session yeah what it's great when they are never it's
00:00:54
great when they are cuz I want them to keep going why are you doing political no I'm just telling you the good things are happening this last week what what's
00:01:00
good about that who cares I couldn't think of something good so I just said that yeah the lizard people were back yeah the lizard people are back licking
00:01:06
each other over what strike D weren't we in one the actor strike yeah it's over
00:01:13
it's over man I've been out there every day I know dude you're by yourself and I I should have said something I drove by you the other day you're by yourself
00:01:18
I've been sitting out there at Paramount it's so sad what does your sign say what I mooned like four Executives today yeah
00:01:26
what does my sign say bring back Two and a Half Men Ela says red lives matter I don't know what that means R I said red
00:01:32
life matters oh red life matters I was attacked by a security guard outside of Warner Brother anyway it was racially
00:01:38
charged yeah there's no doubt in my mind what's else is going on um this last week what um this week was huge I just
00:01:44
got I just got back from Vegas last yeah you did right Vegas was ins and you dude can I just say this that video you had
00:01:51
with Bert and at that party sucking on his titties was it the best party sucking on your titties like you wanting
00:01:56
me calling me what yeah peaches dude I love her and also so you know it's that
00:02:01
party I'll never be invited to this is the my favorite I this is my favorite I
00:02:06
want to be a part of the I'm going to Tim Dylan's party Sunday you gonna go yeah I'm going let's go I'm going I'm
00:02:13
going what else happened hold on I need to a lot of butterflies hatched this week where from cocoons I need call is
00:02:19
like a Hollywood thing like I need to call someone uh oh I need to call someone I know I have
00:02:26
people I can call too then it's not a competition yeah yeah I have cool people I can call no yeah I
00:02:32
want to call somebody cool too I have someone cool too yeah it just made me mad cuz what you just said was such a
00:02:38
like yeah who said that Who you calling I was calling Leanne crer because I literally said I literally said at the
00:02:44
party I go I go Bobby would love this this was so fun and then and uh she goes
00:02:50
um she goes yeah he got all upset about the B you know the they offered you to
00:02:56
go on the tour or something like that and you're like saying you never get invited you get invited to stuff all the time you just say no yeah but no means
00:03:03
yes in my not to people in the business no means no no no means yes for me D no
00:03:09
is no yeah Bobby no never means what no means no I'm just saying me personally
00:03:15
no means yes ah anyway and no no forget it forget it forget it forget it forget
00:03:20
it forget it forget it forget it forget but how cute though I did mention Leah how much I wish you at the party you would have liked it I love her it was so
00:03:26
so much fun Bert was Bert was doing his birthday thing like holding down the fort a guy if BT ever leaves her I'm
00:03:33
going to slide in you're going to slide in on Leanne yeah you think you're she's motherly dude well yeah she's nurturing
00:03:38
mother she's cool house is clean house is beautiful yeah lean le le B watch out
00:03:46
dog it's just me Leanne Lee yeah what if she she would have a a Southern and
00:03:51
Asian accent she's like it's just me lean Le what do the Southern and Asian
00:03:56
at the same can't you can't do an Asian and Southern at the same time so hard to do
00:04:03
he man I Chang Williams man Chang
00:04:08
Williams man from the y'all want to go to barel let's go
00:04:16
to Cracker barel that's it you just nailed it to
00:04:21
what else happened this week oh yeah what no nothing else oh yeah nothing
00:04:27
really important jet ski got passed at The Comedy Store
00:04:33
let's give it up for the big jet ski you know we were there at your showcase we
00:04:38
were there we were there you you told us to leave yeah you did you were like get the [ __ ] out of here usually you guys do
00:04:45
your spots and bounce and the timing of it was probably an hour hour and a half until I go up so I didn't want any like
00:04:52
pressure on you to stay pressure on us to stay yeah no well we're American citizens and we make decisions yeah I
00:05:00
pay my taxes sometimes and dude you know I was also worried that I go up there and everyone in the room is just going
00:05:05
to be like Bobby and Andrew are here Bobby and hre are here yeah they did they did they kept turning around should
00:05:11
we laugh and we're like laugh BBY Bobby right before you got on stage went like this he went [ __ ] laugh right and
00:05:18
then they would turn to me and I go right and they go you know what I mean
00:05:23
and they would turn they would laugh at places they weren't supposed to laugh cuz they didn't really know that's okay in your act you know what I mean but you
00:05:28
know I would no no no not nothing that's a setup chill chill chill chill chill chill chill chill so you know we directed them
00:05:34
you guys were my stage moms no you know would Neil Neil Brenan made fun of us huh mhm Neil Brennan ripped us apart
00:05:41
yeah so what I'm not afraid of you Neil make fun of us he was we did get made fun of we made got made yeah that we
00:05:47
were a little stage Mommy cuz we were standing by the booth and we were both smiling yeah and we were holding each other we were each cing a little bit
00:05:55
there was no more room all the seats were sold out and you went up there to a packed room sold out house
00:06:00
standing room only literally people were standing yeah it was incredible what a magical night and you had to follow a
00:06:05
tough tough run because it went uh oh Ali Wong Alli Wong Neil oh no I'm sorry
00:06:11
Rick Ingram or no Ali Wong no no no before Ron someone went on before Ron
00:06:17
and ripped oh I know F manoir Ali Wong F manir Ron G three
00:06:23
killers I mean and everyone you walked up really really was doing well I he didn't do as good as good oh thank you
00:06:30
what do you as good as the other people no dude I felt great about she's a girl K course she's not going to do well
00:06:37
she's a girl honest with you you did so great not not just great you did better than Ron G well we don't need to be
00:06:43
that's cuz you're racist dude that's so Fu you did better than I really do believe that racist again the laughs you were getting dude were real I have and I
00:06:50
I went I just went I teared up dude I was proud of our little girl make me cry
00:06:55
proud of my kid you ripped and now you're regular you get to call in and the best part is now you're going to get really late night spots that's my
00:07:01
favorite last night what last night my first spot in the main room guess who brought me up who did Bob the Bob you brought her on yeah what time was your
00:07:08
spot oh he gave me the most beautiful intro and he said let me say something to you right now I give the best intros
00:07:14
in La history dude I know I was waiting for all the com of all the comics I give ask anybody I give the best interest of
00:07:20
the world give me your give I'm bringing you up Carlos just give me your name I know your name I I forgot for a second
00:07:27
right this next guy do hold on hold on yeah this guy's a regular at our club oh no he's showcasing oh
00:07:33
okay can you make sure you yeah is this at the oh hot dog venue you make sure
00:07:39
that you say that while you're doing the intro with him and we're also in Linker where are we at Park Modesto Modesto
00:07:44
we're in Modesto the oh hot dog Comedy Club the oh hot dog Comedy Club at Modesto opening weekend that's how bad
00:07:50
we are let's hear it we get Carlos as our first opening weekend headl guys
00:07:55
next guy coming to Stage man dude in terms of like the king of all holes glory holes this guy top three
00:08:03
dude right number two dude he's not even like the brown kind of Mexican he's the
00:08:09
I know but in terms of like the up upper snoody Mexican oh right yeah he's top of
00:08:15
the line dude wow this guy sounds like he's going to be great right he's like the CEO of Baja Fresh that kind of
00:08:20
Mexican and here he is and no no no I'm not done yeah he's also dude um he's only had warts twice wow
00:08:29
right he's at work s and then also on top of it dude he's like uh he's dude in
00:08:35
terms of drug addict and alcohol he should be the president of all that president of drug addict of drug addict
00:08:41
ladies and gentlemen and alcoholism Carlos and i' go last name I would say to the side Herrero
00:08:48
Herrero first joke out of the gate they come out Herrero they come out first joke out of the gate go throw my hat out
00:08:54
hat off off physical joke no we want a joke a stand up joke this is and what's your opening joke you're 45 minutes and
00:09:02
I have to do an opening joke I would literally take my hat off that's not a joke J I walk off oh wow that's what I
00:09:08
would do well then I'm going to call you into the office I'm the manager hey can I talk to you for a second yeah uh yeah man what's going on hey Andrew how are
00:09:14
you hey man uh don't call me Mr Santino if you don't mind it's and I'm Mr Lee
00:09:20
thank you like you're okay let me just can I ask you something Mr Lee yes I I know the way he
00:09:25
did that I know I know Mr Lee yes what's his name Mr know sit sit down sit down
00:09:30
sit down you called us and said may I headline we so we agreed well and begrudgingly it was only because
00:09:36
earthquake fell out yeah earthquake and we tried to get hurricane tsunami both of them out of town out of town
00:09:43
hurricane all natural disaster Comics out of out of town then we tried to get hamburger uhhuh right I we're the old
00:09:49
hot dog obviously we need to get hamburger and then you know the Shucky Ducky Shucky Ducky couldn't do it and you know shrimp and grits you know him
00:09:55
shrimp and grits he couldn't do it he couldn't do it he was busy yeah so naturally as we fell down the list M
00:10:00
yeah we got to you which I'm grateful I'm on that list and by the way why did your email say you want to be called the
00:10:06
Mexican rexic what does that even mean what does that even mean it was just like a signature I had on Gmail Mexican
00:10:12
rexic is your signature on your email yeah on Gmail but like I just want you to recognize me as that I don't think so
00:10:17
buddy and your riter is crazy it says um you want parachute pants uhhuh but from ' 89 parachute we were not going to get
00:10:24
that 1989 parachute P what do that even mean I need to fly down from something and I'm hoping the what is on the right or this says you
00:10:31
wanted a cibian what what you what's a cibian it's those thing it's like a vibrating thing you sit on it and it it
00:10:38
energizes your that pre-performance stuff yeah just so I can loosen up you know what's this llama that happens to
00:10:44
have scoliosis I don't even know where to find a llama specifically
00:10:50
scoliosis I it's like a sexual thing I don't want to talk about you what is this what is this thing on here that
00:10:56
says you need one of the staff members to read you Jack in the bean stock when you're done with your set yeah yeah is
00:11:02
that like a comfort thing that it's like a I have to be naked while that happens I was hoping Mr Lee could do that part
00:11:08
yeah Mr Lee is not telling you Mr Santino that we talked earlier and he was talk this is what he said to me and
00:11:15
I I forgot to tell you because it feels like a lie it is a lie this is what he said he goes um yo I he said yo by the
00:11:21
way I'm like what's up dude yeah anyway um what's up WS Sean W yeah I have a
00:11:29
writer everyone in a wrer anyway he said I don't need an opener really I'm going
00:11:34
to go up cold really he went up he threw his hat down then he said good night the
00:11:39
show was 45 second long you thought 45 minutes 45 seconds you thought 45 seconds wait yeah no it said s it said
00:11:47
seconds on the thing on the writer I was like this for a 45 second show did we screw up in right I mean it could have
00:11:53
been cuz she's our secretary could be a clerical I mean you could but let me have you ever been to a stand show have
00:11:59
you ever been to a stand up show and the show was 45 seconds long yeah I saw you perform at the comedy
00:12:04
store oh my God go go [ __ ] him up oh my God oh my God my God you know what dude
00:12:11
the bit's funny so I'm going to let it go but holy [ __ ] dude holy [ __ ] that's so funny that was so funny you're a
00:12:17
[ __ ] jerk why wasn't that in the show you know that could have been your opening thing I brought you up [ __ ] face
00:12:23
but I saved the funny for backstage with Mr Lee and Mr you you should juy so everyone wants their money back
00:12:29
everybody's going to get their money back yeah and here's how we're going to make you pay it back here's the deal we're all going to my mom and dad's
00:12:34
house for Thanksgiving everyone's going to be there what day is that uh Thanksgiving is almost always on a
00:12:43
Thursday almost it's almost let me ask you something is Halloween always on a specific day the 31st yeah it's the 31st
00:12:51
yeah but is it like a Monday Tuesday it's 30 it's 31st always a certain day like you're you're conflating two
00:12:57
different things thanksgiving's always on the on the Thursday third Thursday thir the third Thursday of November but
00:13:02
it's not a specific the dates change the DAT change the date does change unfortunately are you being real yeah okay well that's what I was confused
00:13:08
about but you've never known that in 52 years spinning on the sht I swear to God I haven't all the time you're sitting on the shirt that it spins around no are we
00:13:14
going I always thought it was like the 26th or something I never did it so well you're about to do I literally Sunday
00:13:19
because uh Tim Dylan has has having his Thanksgiving party so I go oh I've never been invited
00:13:26
on Thanksgiving at the dinner he's like it's not Thanksgiving you invited last year I was going to say last year yeah you were invited with me last year and
00:13:31
you didn't come I'm going now you're really going to go this Sunday yeah good you going to be do you want to go
00:13:37
together no cuz I'm bringing somebody who you bringing bad boy who you bringing a friend what I
00:13:45
would really like is you and I go to a a Comics party as each other's dates but we but you dress up like the woman and I
00:13:50
dress up like a man in a suit and I take you on a nice little date but you have to be in character all night long sure
00:13:57
but what it has to be like a Halloween party right or no why I want it to be real so I just randomly show up to like
00:14:05
Tim Dylan's no birthday part pick you up as a woman I'm going to pick you up no why you be the woman but you're the
00:14:11
woman how come I was with the woman listen to the way you said it you sound like a woman yeah right well I always have to be a woman
00:14:18
sound like just oh damn it deep voiced woman okay yeah yeah so how' you do last night it was it was hard work but it it
00:14:25
was good what do you mean the crowd was a little thin or something well last night was who Mark Maron Bill Burr uh
00:14:32
Eliza [ __ ] me [ __ ] well yeah we already know you went up sorry my bad I
00:14:38
thought you leaving me out of when he inted me he gave me this beautiful intro and he says so some of you guys know I'm this I'm on this podast intro intro
00:14:46
repeat it what an amazing show we've seen tonight I said that yeah okay and then
00:14:54
you said it's going to get better I don't remember no just what you think I
00:15:00
said you said I'm I am going to bring up somebody very special some of you guys
00:15:07
might know that I have a podcast already murmurs In The Crowd Oh my God is it him
00:15:13
is it him they think it's she has been such a wonderful addition to our podcast
00:15:19
and I heard I heard an audible oh no that's
00:15:25
not and then he said oh my God you're going to make me so [ __ ] right now but then he said that she is the newest
00:15:33
paid regular that is what happened no can I tell you what happened okay you tell me
00:15:39
okay first of I said we have something special coming up yes okay I as you know that I have a podcast called bad friends
00:15:47
they all thought it was Andrew no three people stood up right and I go and I go she I go I go she you know I said you
00:15:54
know in order to be do do this stage you have to get p as a paid regular mhm and it's a very difficult thing to doal it's
00:16:01
a big deal right this girl is our sidekick on B she opens for us on the
00:16:06
road or something like that and I go um this is her first spot as a paid regular
00:16:12
and I can't I I'm so proud of her right that's what I [ __ ] said it made
00:16:18
me sounds like that's what you said but it was for real literally there were people in the audience I could hear from backstage going oh no one said that you
00:16:25
[ __ ] idiot dude would because you're no you're you're you're influenced by
00:16:31
them can't you see how that could and then I walked on stage and I said Thank like give it up for Bobby that was such a nice intro and sorry I'm not Andrew
00:16:38
and a bunch of people laugh yeah see that's nice they left right yeah they got it well the reason they and it was
00:16:44
an all star lineup so they were thinking Santino's coming up well I I was originally on the lineup and I and I had
00:16:51
to not be on it and then what did you call yourself at Backstage I never heard that before riff ra Riff Raff after I
00:16:58
said this is where the Riff Raff starts so I didn't know who was after you Quincy all great Comics but R I
00:17:06
never but I've never I've never cuz we never when we were new as a paid regular we never called ourselves riffraff what'
00:17:13
you call yourself we just thought we were part of the lineup you know I go people are different levels but it made
00:17:19
me sad that you would like say that about yourself really I was I was just being self-aware that people you come to
00:17:25
The Comedy Store to see stars so there was a divide in the show where it's like yeah but you got yeah but you're you're
00:17:32
you're part of the you're a peer you're a regular now so you're a peer even more so that you got passed your name's going
00:17:37
to be written in cursive on that wall it feels so crazy isn't it kind of cool to be on that wall yeah that's a cool what
00:17:42
part are you in the wall um I've I've seen urine on my name no less than a
00:17:47
dozen times what part I'm not kidding I'm by the back entrance and I'm low to the ground people have pissed all over the bottom wall drunk guys pee all over
00:17:54
the wall there at night you move yours I've asked to move it multiple times you know Ryan is where up front you're up
00:18:00
front not just up front above the main room oh you are yeah next to Eddie Murphy all the big your head shot is
00:18:06
also right by the original room yeah I mean you've been there for 50 years I don't have a head in the original room in the main room I do in the hallway
00:18:12
leading to the original room I I don't have a head shot in the hallway in the you want to bet I swear to God I don't
00:18:18
I've never seen a head shot there better money bet me 100 bucks 100 bucks I'm going to go air Shake air Shake air
00:18:24
Shake okay I know texting the door guys because I don't want you moving it oh
00:18:31
that's smart so it is it it's somebody that put it in there accidentally I saw it last night cuz I was like where's my
00:18:37
it's got to be new then it's got to be new no it's a old head shot okay yeah but they put it up new maybe maybe they
00:18:42
just reput it up maybe and but your head shot and I got a little mad I'm sorry
00:18:48
but your headshot at The Improv it's in a very nice place mine is not they're
00:18:54
moving it next to mine are they really no be honest I to him he said we're they're moving them right they want he
00:19:00
goes do you want Bobby right next to you I said yeah because mine's in the back somewhere weird you're in the you're in the hall but you're going to come up to
00:19:06
you and I no I'm not in the Hall I'm in the same Hall I have three up yeah I
00:19:11
have one in the hall one where the bathroom is and one tiny one upstairs yeah I have one upstairs you're going to
00:19:18
be right next to me in that in that entrance thank you so much moving me up I want you there thank you so thank you so much it's not moving you up it's
00:19:23
moving you where no you're moving where you know me where all the cool people are thank you so much there are a lot of Co yeah not the best it is it's like the
00:19:30
highest like level of right and I'm up with Whitney in the corner of some you know I did say that at the party that
00:19:35
was the first club that passed me the store didn't pass me the Improv passed me first wow and I still have the email a great Club I have the email from the
00:19:42
day I got I got passed on my birthday you know the chances of that a isn't that insane I got an email from Eric Abrams at The Improv say congratulations
00:19:49
from the from the Improv you're now allowed to call in for spots I have something to share with you it's going to make you mad go ahead Ellie told me
00:19:56
not to say anything who these guys did no The Improv what what I don't know why
00:20:03
I do this what is it I got my brother a car and the only way I would go do it is if I went
00:20:09
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00:20:15
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00:21:01
shopping today at vroom.com that's vroom.com bepoke post hey guys the holidays are
00:21:10
coming just listen to me right now the best you gift you can give anyone is a
00:21:15
box of awesome this a box of awesome what did I get what box of what you get today I got the stealth baby the
00:21:20
sideliner pocket knife by Baron Sony ultimate 701 tool pen money clip key capsule this is pretty incredible this
00:21:27
is the best part you don't know what you're getting it is so much fun to open these up even if you're not getting it
00:21:32
for someone else you can get this for yourself to get new gifts all the time in the mail but how rad is that huh a little penmate with a leveler on it to
00:21:38
make sure that I'm still level um you get to uh go online all you have to do is take a quiz it's not really a quiz
00:21:45
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00:22:18
what I just got a pay bump they're paying you more money to do
00:22:25
spots yeah and I go I go am I making more than they go yeah and they said don't tell
00:22:32
him it's great and I I'll always I go I will not play this room unless I always
00:22:38
get more whoa and they go okay than me yeah how much more it's got to be at least 100 that's funny because I just do
00:22:46
it for the art it's so not true I don't go for the
00:22:53
money yeah yeah yeah but anyway um don't go to the impr thank you impro I'm glad you're a regular at The Comedy Store and
00:22:59
let's all say congratulations to our love our sweet uh juice the jet ski
00:23:04
herself congratulations on getting that's a big deal man but do you want to tell her the bad news you're fired from the show sorry we
00:23:13
did say we made a pack and we said as soon as you get past to The Story You're fired from the show that was literally a pack and everybody knows and it's kind
00:23:18
of a bummer that we didn't tell you earlier but we're telling you're telling me yes are you for real yeah yeah yeah
00:23:24
this is how you know you hurt though well I feel weird that this public firing I know so if we're being honest
00:23:30
uh make sure you don't like don't wiggling too much into the chair we'd like someone else's butt to be able to be fitting you guys are crazy I don't
00:23:36
believe you I I can't imagine never doing shows with you oh my God we're
00:23:43
probably clip it no delete it no because um you know I went through some hard
00:23:49
times and stuff and um eight months ago whatever and it I had the right kind of
00:23:55
person to go on the road with all of you but you are involved in that
00:24:01
big time that I I went your temperament your support your positivity positivity
00:24:06
was just um something I needed at the time unmatched unmatched but now I think your attitude is
00:24:14
insane take that back but I really no I really can't imagine not ever knowing you oh my God you I mean I don't think
00:24:20
that you would betray me never I would never betray
00:24:25
you people have betrayed people betray dude people betray dude nobody in this room no no one in this room if someone
00:24:33
were going to betray it would go Carlos and then mcon I think Mone first for sure I don't I wouldn't betray you look
00:24:40
what I did for you you didn't do that for me you did that for laugh and also I'll tell you why you would no fries
00:24:46
yeah yeah no fries you get a burger ever this is not even a lie dude ever since I saw that hamburger with no fries that
00:24:54
right there was worse than not getting it I'd rather get not a hamburger can't let this go on any longer that was my
00:24:59
call no no no no you're ho you're a part I was with m in the car and I told him
00:25:04
not to get fries why what's your logic and you waited a whole week to tell us this I was projecting because I wouldn't
00:25:10
want fries because I'm trying to stay trim so you get a double double cheeseburger from [ __ ] in and out and
00:25:16
that's how you're staying trim well protein style half the time and no he didn't get protein style yeah but he
00:25:21
doesn't need the extra fries and salt andu oh my God you're saying he's fat yeah he is you're saying fat but I'm
00:25:28
saying he's he's it's mco's responsibility to go no dude thank you I'm going to get the
00:25:35
fries that's his challenge Carlos you're not exempt you [ __ ] he's saying he's saying you both [ __ ] up Mone should
00:25:41
have been like no I bet you he wants fries and you're dumbass shouldn't have stepped in the way of projecting about his weight cuz you think he's overweight
00:25:47
which overweight no you're not allly said it the other day who in front of you Alli Wong because she weighs about 9
00:25:54
lbs I know but she looked at she goes she this is what she said we the kitchen yeah I know and she she looks at you she
00:26:00
goes what are you doing you look so good and you're like I'm doing this and this right yeah but why is he like shaped
00:26:05
like that she said and why are you still shaped like this yeah yeah and I looked at her I'm like but at least you retain that means you retain you stayed the
00:26:11
same she sees you the same you're not overweight I know I am a little no you're not I'm fine I love it I feel
00:26:20
great I do have arthritis but yeah I'm fine dude we're falling apart we I'm falling apart I went to the doctor and
00:26:26
I'm on [ __ ] oh I'm I'm on L what is it called Levitra Levitra no I've said
00:26:32
it wrong three times levitrol did you talk about what happened in the hotel room wait what is
00:26:39
this for that's for erectile dysfunction oh yeah no not I'm on lipor lior
00:26:44
levitra's boner pills I'm not on those why okay I don't need them I honestly
00:26:50
I'm not against boner pills but I don't need them I I am still very blessed you know one day when I was [ __ ] like 16
00:26:55
years old I remember like an ad came on about boner pills and my dad my dad like
00:27:01
really slightly was smoking a cigarette and he's like you're never going to need those and I was like what and he's like
00:27:08
runs into family got strong blood you said that yeah I was like holy [ __ ] my dad still gets Clint Eastwood I'm hard
00:27:16
right now and then he said uh just the way he smokes and then he said something about he like he like get out of here
00:27:22
Koreans he was all you know he got realny East Woody right I'm on lip right
00:27:28
now high cholesterol High triglyceride level so I'm I'm my doctor put me on this my young Asian doctor put me on
00:27:34
this and what is that supposed to do libur make it so I don't have a stroke or heart attack oh I have a bad I I
00:27:40
already have a bad ticker as everybody knows I've talked my heart's bad I've got a [ __ ] murmur have a hole in my
00:27:45
heart right and he said my cholesterol levels were high and he said have you experiencing any semblance of high stress traveling a lot being near a
00:27:52
Korean for an extended period of time dude and I said no not that I can remember
00:27:58
I had a dream that you died don't why are you why would you do that L can I just say
00:28:03
something no it's good it's good that I die no what how I did it you killed him
00:28:09
what the [ __ ] you kill me in your dream no no let me explain well get through it right I don't know how you died in you
00:28:15
know you don't know the details but I remember me making decisions of like
00:28:21
leaving the country and just I remember just leaving living in like a cottage
00:28:26
like my compl life changed so when I die that's your Eat Pray Love moment when I
00:28:32
die you get to go on a journey and find yourself no that's where I die in a cottage by myself in France eating
00:28:38
cheese and wine what the [ __ ] you talking about so I die so you go kill yourself you slowly eat I'm just saying
00:28:43
I'm just say I love you so much and if you died it would just devastate me it sounds like a happy story it sounds like
00:28:48
you quit the Pod you took the money you moved away you fy from my death oh I me your will not
00:28:56
anymore not if you're having dreams about it you're on my life insurance you're on my
00:29:02
life insurance you have a will I do I have a will too you're on my will you're not on mine and I want you to put I want
00:29:08
to put it on I'm not on your will I just didn't consider it until now I had I'm going to call my guy I said if any sort
00:29:14
of revenue from this company in the event of my death would all go to you well no in your death half of it would
00:29:20
go to your family and I no I cut my family out you think I want those pigs with my money I saw they're going to
00:29:26
spend it on bad stuff right I want it to go to you yeah my family yeah do you get family me I get
00:29:34
cousins asking for money yeah I'm been getting it lot this week a lot I had I had out of nowhere I guy I haven't
00:29:40
talked to in 30 years yo man I need 15 grand I go are you out your [ __ ]
00:29:46
start with one $15,000 you out of your [ __ ] mind
00:29:52
that's so much money dude I mean I could get it if it was like my mom she needed
00:29:57
surgery anything for your mom yeah yeah I would I would pck in for your mom my you know my titty what's wrong my titty
00:30:03
gone your titty's gone yeah it died well let me taste them I'll find out if they're okay I would not taste my mom's titty it's gone let me taste your mom's
00:30:15
titties it's getting weird how do you say good boy in Korean I don't know and
00:30:21
it's so funny how do you not know how to say good boy they never called him that that's right oh Jess oh Jess God you're
00:30:26
so quick you [ __ ] how do you say good boy in Korean imagine me kissing on your mom's
00:30:31
boobs while she says that I would say yam Jan yum Jan what is that he a nice guy nice uh
00:30:40
chahan that's CH Chakan chak is nice so that's me I'm
00:30:45
kissing on your mom's boobies she's Chakan Chakan chak
00:30:51
sonan by the way my new nickname with your mom I don't even how to do that cuz I just Chuck
00:30:58
oh my God here look I'm your
00:31:14
mom all right stop stop stop
00:31:19
stop now they're going to be [ __ ] t-shirts [Laughter] with I got to deal with
00:31:26
it we somebody make a t-shirt of B's Mom with her titties and suing Chuck on deal
00:31:33
with it please no more no more about my mom yeah what would if I died what would
00:31:38
you do oh my God please don't ever no but just let's scar I want to know I don't want to know I don't want to know
00:31:44
I already what would you do I'd have a charity event at The Comedy Store yeah rais money and she'd take it all should
00:31:50
we quit this thing and start a band and be happy without Hollywood you know a lot of my a lot of
00:31:56
my um fears and my sadness comes from Hollywood so yeah maybe we should quit it yeah I don't want to do it anymore
00:32:03
Hollywood is scary and I I watched just to kind of change subjects a bit but that movie you're in what movie uh
00:32:09
Fool's Paradise I didn't even know you were in it and you opened it up a small scene but that's all about the Hollywood and the industry yeah Charlie Day Char
00:32:16
my buddy Charlie day did a movie called Fool's Paradise is great yeah I loved your cameo in it you you like the movie
00:32:22
yeah I liked it a lot I thought it was really funny it was me and actually I got tagged in it people say it's me and
00:32:28
you yeah I also thought it was going to be pooby should have been no you it's
00:32:33
fine I Love Ken I thought it was you about halfway through you laughing at what you
00:32:39
laughing at dude I'm not laughing yeah you are how come you keep picking roles with other Koreans that aren't Bobby
00:32:45
they hand it to me I they asked me to do it with other Koreans and I keep fighting to do it with Bobby but but if
00:32:51
I'm going to make an announcement on here I will I'll say it I'll say it even though it's not done yet but Bob and I are doing an animated series
00:32:57
right now we're working on it literally right now we just I had a call about it a couple hours ago we're going to be doing a little animation you're not
00:33:03
going to overplace them uh what do you mean by that cuz he keeps working with all these other Koreans do you know how
00:33:10
Hollywood Works no I don't this is this is what we do together and and when it
00:33:17
comes to everything else you know it's fine yeah that's fine yeah everything's fine I know my place in the world and
00:33:24
I'm very happy it's a good place I enjoy my life what are you gonna do for Christmas by the way you kill
00:33:30
myself I kill myself so you're getting me a gift yeah finally are you going to
00:33:35
go back to Arizona and see your mom for Christmas I might have to yeah I need something you know you really just bumped me out just now man I did yeah
00:33:42
well cuz I reminded you about all the other Koreans sandrew works with besides
00:33:48
you I love it I love what you're doing right now well you can rest easy I won't be in beef season 2 why I died you never
00:33:56
watched it they shot me in the head oh they shot me in the face I don't know I think they might bring you back yeah two
00:34:02
good friends of mine are now riding on that show uh really dumfounded is yeah yeah and Jean
00:34:09
Jean yeah that's right yeah it's rad it's great rad well I had a fun little weekend in
00:34:16
Vegas and I'm s I'm sad that I came back early because I didn't go to go to F1 but boy oh boy did I have fun out there
00:34:21
F1 tell me about it I mean it's just I didn't get to see F1 but I got to hang out with some of the other people that
00:34:27
were in it it was wild to like give me a name you don't know F1 do you no there are celebrities there you hanging out
00:34:32
with no I mean F1 guys are celebrities in the F1 world but if you don't know yeah do you know who Lando Norris is
00:34:39
Carlos Sans Bush yeah but that's NASCAR uhuh Kyle Bush yeah wrong wrong G wrong
00:34:44
game is it a machine though you're driving a running machine F1 it's different level I get it now it's this
00:34:49
dude all right all right I learn all right I love it did you know that I
00:34:57
don't know anything you I don't know yeah yeah no those guys I mean it's just impressive to watch them operate but the NASCAR drivers you guys are also very
00:35:04
talented I mean it's [ __ ] fighting like that is there like different levels oh yeah topcock top coock oh topcock is different than just regular Street top
00:35:10
on Netflix it's one of the best shows out oh really top [ __ ] who has the best what's the best who has the best [ __ ]
00:35:16
fighting skills you have no idea who top coock is right now Orlando flandro won
00:35:21
Top [ __ ] this season is that a real guy I honest are you joking Orlando fando
00:35:26
won Top Orlando Fernando Orlando flando he won Top coock this year really and
00:35:33
where's he from Spain he's a Cuban guy that lives in [ __ ] Miami and his his chicken what his [ __ ] yeah he and he
00:35:39
comes out with his [ __ ] and he goes to intimidate the other top really yeah wow he says flando is
00:35:46
here and everyone hates it and what are those are those [ __ ] what are their names like his [ __ ] what's his cock's
00:35:52
name well he he his [ __ ] must retire I mean how many how many fights can they
00:35:57
do buddy you don't know anything about [ __ ] fighting they retire when they die
00:36:03
they kill they fight to the death oh so he's been a so his main [ __ ] what's his name Orlando's
00:36:09
[ __ ] the name of it's called Orlando's [ __ ] that's the joke oh really if I saw
00:36:14
Orlando's Co I go hey Orlando's [ __ ] you'd go hey nice [ __ ] Jimmy no Orlando's [ __ ] Jimmy and he walks out he
00:36:20
goes who wants to see Orlando's [ __ ] that's what he does when he comes out yeah wow I had no idea and that's
00:36:27
kind of his top coock on Netflix top coock on Netflix download it right now it's is it all about him or the other
00:36:33
[ __ ] Fighters well he's featured cuz he won this season but name me another guy that's maybe his Nemesis who Orlando's
00:36:39
Nemesis yeah oh Miami jine they're all from they're all Cubans that live in Florida know so Miami Jamin
00:36:46
Miami jbin jbin yeah Miami lives in Miami too say it Miami jaab I am a yeah
00:36:52
he's one of the other ones right and then does he have a [ __ ] oh he's got a real nice [ __ ] right what's it called
00:37:00
Marcus that's what he calls it Marcus marus I think as Marcus and um Orlando
00:37:05
orando [ __ ] fight before they fought in season one or two but I thought they fight to the death yeah they fought in
00:37:11
season one or two you know who I'm rooting for so he no longer one of them no longer exists Marcus Marcus died
00:37:17
Marcus is gone Marcus there's an undercard though Susan Smith Oh Susan Smith is pretty good she lives in Florida but her [ __ ] is crazy crazy
00:37:25
Susan Smith's [ __ ] is really is it nice yeah yeah this [ __ ] can knit it knits right before a fight maybe one
00:37:32
of the nicest [ __ ] I've ever seen she's from Connecticut but she moved for the competition whoa and they have the
00:37:37
little the knives razors razors razors dude they
00:37:43
can't they don't have hands so honestly if you're going to talk about Stu we see the [ __ ] show I know but do they have
00:37:50
the little razor yeah Susan's [ __ ] is shredded is there a company that that makes that or is it like dueling
00:37:56
companies like you know because at F1 we have the dueling car companies and this and that and Brands so does like the
00:38:02
razors have their own oh companies that make the razor yeah yeah yeah I mean [ __ ] Cutters out of [ __ ] Cutters is
00:38:08
that's out of Dallas Texas probably some of the best the best yeah [ __ ] Cutters anything from different lands or like
00:38:13
different country well well you think the Philippines probably I don't know if I should mention this now given what's going on in the world right now yeah but
00:38:19
Israel Israel probably made some of the best cck cutting tools of all time wow I
00:38:25
mean Israel probably made some of the best [ __ ] but they're not using them right now because of what's going on over
00:38:30
there I see so but you can still probably get stuff from Black Market like if I had if I had a [ __ ] I was
00:38:36
Raising and I want the best Israeli [ __ ] cutter [ __ ] cutter yeah I could probably get in the black market
00:38:42
honestly the Black Market has the best [ __ ] yeah some would argue that the Black Market has the best [ __ ] but the
00:38:48
Black Market has the best cut cutter [ __ ] Cutters and [ __ ] but no one's Afra but people are so afraid to use them
00:38:54
well they probably must be heavy yeah I tell you when they hit you they hurt hey bet yeah just lugging that around it's
00:39:01
just it's just bigger than normal it's bigger than usual I want lightweight like NASA [ __ ] right well like if I had a cog I would have lightweight like a
00:39:07
small little Asian one you want a tiny little Asian [ __ ] yeah from maybe from China well little chin lightweight one well you you get you can get there's
00:39:14
different leagues yeah yeah you get the yellow League there's a yellow card League there is yeah I tell you what the
00:39:19
once you get one of those black Co you never turn it back once you get a black [ __ ] you never turn it back oh once you
00:39:24
let that in the arena right you'll never go back never you'll never get a little Asian one well why would you it's just
00:39:30
once you've graduated you know okay you don't go from a four-door car down to a [ __ ] smart car you know like you already have a why I can't know I didn't
00:39:36
know so [ __ ] what's it called top coock on on Netflix I think season three or
00:39:42
four of Carlos what is it we watch it together we're on four now Four Season SE we're binging it together wow what's
00:39:47
the origin of [ __ ] fighting I don't know anything about where did it start yeah uh this is kind of it's kind of like a
00:39:53
history piece if you're a history buff out there people that were coming to South Florida uh from Cuba uh or the Dr
00:40:01
mostly from Cuba oh Dominican Republic yeah um when they're floating over here
00:40:06
when they're rafting here what ends up happening is you have to bring you know food and Provisions and also pets and friends and they all bring a [ __ ] with
00:40:13
them at least one [ __ ] right and when you pump into another raft you have to go head to-head otherwise you get
00:40:18
sacrifice your rations on the way in yeah they can basically I heard that one story in 30 years ago where a [ __ ] still
00:40:25
had his little and inflated deflated one the and they all drowned I remember that that's partially where it started I was
00:40:31
like take them off and put it in the thing right but he went and then they sank and they was like your [ __ ] pop my ref and that was like the beginning of
00:40:37
everything I remember that story yeah I know a little bit about it your [ __ ] sunk my battleship is basically what happened right right a little bit yeah
00:40:44
yeah that's interesting it was it's you got to watch topcock on Netflix right now yeah it's great door Dash his the
00:40:50
season to skip the inore rush when the holidays knock answer with door Dash my
00:40:56
friend friends we've been using door dashh for so long now before they were even sponsors of the show I love them we
00:41:01
uh also are big fans of it when we're out of town on the road wean if I'm in DC if I'm in New York if I'm in La if
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whever wherever I get door Dash do you know what it's the most reliable one you want something to celebrate this holiday
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00:42:15
you smell this wonderful bag what you talking about dude that smell is who I want to be this is Dr Squatch my good
00:42:20
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00:42:26
you know the traditional ones and I got Dr Squatch that's all I use now it's the best give me the wood barrel buron i b i
00:42:32
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daily routine Essentials you'll need to start feeling good and smelling like a man today mhm I was going to say Andrew
00:43:54
I've been to a real [ __ ] fight before in Bali there's blood everywhere I had to get out from the [ __ ] there's [ __ ]
00:44:00
blood all over the place yeah it was crazy did they have a guy that comes up and clean [ __ ] blood cuz that sounds like a job from aone no as soon as there
00:44:07
was blood I was like I got to roll yeah you know it's so funny because we took a comedy bit made it sad and Rift Rift on it and
00:44:15
then you brought reality into the game which sort of [ __ ] up the momentum no
00:44:20
it was really bad I mean it's like what are you doing it was fun
00:44:27
you know what I mean a lot of [ __ ] Birds died it was gnarly yeah yeah we get it was like intense got the [ __ ] out
00:44:32
of there it is disgust it is disgusting I'll tell you what's more disgusting what dog fighting oh I can't don't even
00:44:39
don't even don't even okay you want to hear that's something then no I don't want to know I don't I hate it no we're
00:44:44
about no listen we're about to get another dog and one of the dogs we're rescuing was part of a one of these train kill
00:44:51
shelters Oh I thought you were training them a pit bull it has pit in it yeah yeah it's mixed is he nice well I
00:44:57
haven't met him yet we're about to go we want to go get him okay make sure though make sure no dude you can you can you
00:45:03
can R they they train them from their you can reverse it yeah but also this is they puppies they're puppies oh they're puppies oh good good yeah I'd love to
00:45:09
meet it we're trying to say we're trying to save them because they uh it's crazy to think people [ __ ] see a puppy and
00:45:15
they're like I'm going to make it a killing machine yeah it's a puppy yeah what the [ __ ] is wrong with people on
00:45:21
earth I think if you [ __ ] with dogs and [ __ ] up and hurt dogs I think that should be a higher penalty than when you
00:45:27
murder a human yeah well am I wrong babies they have they're defenseless is
00:45:32
the thing a human can fight back if you killed a human but you had a reason for someone killing someone right like a
00:45:38
gang that hates another gang there's reasoning and a human has defense an a puppy has a dog has no defense what
00:45:45
about [ __ ] [ __ ] are very defensive okay and they their mood swings are insane sometimes they're kind of buckled
00:45:51
in sometimes they're really showing off true true you know what El videos I don't like when people are when their
00:45:57
dog or cat is passing where they have the music they have some sort of I've
00:46:02
never seen those videos right your your algorithm is different than mine right and it's and it's like you know two
00:46:08
white right why is it white because we care no because they want to show off
00:46:14
their grief let's be real that's yeah but yeah because when asan they're like okay and
00:46:19
go they're not crying before him record right and they do it right and
00:46:26
they cut it off and they're like okay well let's go you know what I mean bye bye yeah yeah you can keep it but I
00:46:31
don't like it I it makes me so sad like I'm so sensitive to it I don't like it yeah I don't like it either anything with animals I don't like here's another
00:46:38
thing I [ __ ] hate it makes me so [ __ ] angry dude I saw a video Once where this guy
00:46:44
had his dog they running by a swamp and an alligator just comes out over and eats the dog I saw that yeah and it's
00:46:50
like bro leash it leash the [ __ ] poppy you no
00:46:56
there's alligators in that [ __ ] what are you doing dude leit yeah
00:47:02
there's a piece of me that God maybe that maybe that guy did that
00:47:07
on everybody lives in Florida knows there's alligators all in those [ __ ] oh you think he purposely did this I think he was [ __ ] IR a poodle it was a
00:47:14
poodle I think well maybe he was getting on his [ __ ] nerves do you think when the alligator burped like for
00:47:20
[Laughter] just what if like the dog dogs running around and it was a Chinese guy that
00:47:25
came out that'd be a switch [Applause]
00:47:31
crocodile crocodile he's just wearing a crocodile
00:47:39
M full-blown crocodile M guy in a crocodile that be so
00:47:45
funny anyway yeah that drives me crazy I what is this what is this thing what was
00:47:50
you adamant to show us oh that this juia uh Portuguese man in uh turkey was was
00:47:55
in prisoned for 3 weeks for looking gay go up to the top a man was arrested for looking gay and wearing crop top and
00:48:02
turkey imprison for three weeks is he gay no I believe that he just looks European he's European oh Stolen
00:48:09
Valor dude dude dude that's a little too gay for me that's the guy that got arrested for quote unquote not being gay
00:48:15
I mean he's guilty he's [ __ ] lock him up guy lock him up somebody put a ring
00:48:21
on that if he's gay I'm gay [ __ ] it let's do it somebody put a ring and handcuffs on this guy lock him up so cute though when the cops arrested him
00:48:28
he was like first of all in Turkey what turkey
00:48:33
is not illegal to be gay what's going on here I don't this your Thanksgiving stories for us right so what is it
00:48:40
because he was wearing inappropriate clothing yeah it's not illegal but the remains problematic despite certain
00:48:46
legal advancements homosexuality is decrim although homosexuality is decriminalized wow thank like it's like
00:48:51
weed it's decriminalized you can have homos on you but you can't be using them when we catch you can't do it in public
00:48:57
yeah can't some African do that in private you can do that stuff you can do gay stuff in private like weed but you can't well there's some African
00:49:03
countries that's death penalty what do you mean there if you're gay AF there's some Middle Eastern countries where it's [ __ ] death penalty you go you go get
00:49:10
caught in the Middle East and half the places they'll [ __ ] kill you that's insane to me insane to you um yeah what
00:49:17
the [ __ ] I don't think it's even an argument if you wait wait those are the countries where it's illegal to be gay
00:49:22
why they make them pink that's such a gay look there's one little there's one little pink area in South America
00:49:27
where's that what country is that yeah oh what Gana life in prison Gana gayana
00:49:34
and gay is in it yeah yeah Guyana let's see how gay all these countries sound go over the name of yeah let's see if it
00:49:39
sounds gay chadad I used to [ __ ] a guy named Chad yeah yeah hi I'm Chad what
00:49:46
else well you get find 500,000 West African CFA France oh that's $3 30
00:49:53
bucks Indonesia I do know that yeah it is Criminal to be gay there usbekistan
00:49:58
oo Stan that's pretty like Mar Mari death
00:50:04
by stoning where stoning right there IM Mirana
00:50:10
mirania oh that's sad you know why they do that they're trying to get attention I've never heard of this [ __ ] country in my life where the [ __ ] is thatan
00:50:18
Africa on the Horn of Africa stoning Jesus Christ God imagine the guy that's got to
00:50:25
go get the Stones that's even more insane to you got to go get stones to hurt if you're getting Stone can you
00:50:30
cover your face with your hands or no no they tie you up I think oh they don't kind it's a crazy [ __ ] you can't do this no you can but it's like no you can't
00:50:37
yeah it's no no they tie their hands behind their back 40 people no no they they oh well you've been to a couple
00:50:44
I've seen them Spain I'm sure being by the way you guys invented gay right let's not do a picture of it bud no I'm
00:50:51
just what's that that's a stoning car like I actually went to a stoning yeah there was blood everywhere what's
00:50:57
that what's that right there that is a stoning that's insane is that I would go to one just to see all right a stoning
00:51:03
yeah you're [ __ ] disgusting he had a St a [ __ ] fight versus a stoning of a
00:51:10
human being well the Animals still like fight to the death yeah but at least they have a fair shot yeah the purpose
00:51:17
of getting Stone doesn't isn't throwing rocks by the way that's if you do get stone and they just give you a few back
00:51:22
to throw back they're like all right let's go oh yeah that'd be fair fight back well it still wouldn't be fair that
00:51:27
guy threw a first stone when he sucked that dick though oh my God Jesus Christ
00:51:32
I just got back from Texas yeah people in well decorated interior houses should
00:51:38
not be throwing stones it is unbelievable how some parts of the world is just not the same I mean it's like
00:51:43
they're not they just haven't caught up or they have these old traditions and rules it's weird yeah cuz we're so
00:51:51
connected you know I mean through the internet that like I just can't see how it's possible what do you mean that did
00:51:57
people have these weird rules like you know well these are based on thousands of years of them being indoctrinated
00:52:03
with an idea of their most 99% of that is religious based that homosexuality is
00:52:08
against their their their religious practice Yeah but as a kid I I'm not kidding you my dad would be like if
00:52:15
you're if you Steve Gay everybody going to die I'm going to kill everybody yeah
00:52:21
he would say stuff like that yeah thank God like everybody yeah your friend Charlie Franco they all die that's
00:52:27
insane insane right you think he was just joking around no he was like saying it was in other one if you marry
00:52:33
Vietnamese woman don't call her well that I understand yeah yeah it's like I won't call then [ __ ] you you know what I mean but even as a kid you listen to
00:52:40
that you're 6 years old at dinner you know what I mean yeah if you get everybody and I'd be eating my you know
00:52:46
Korean food I'd be like that's insane that doesn't make any sense what did your mom say she said okay okay he not
00:52:53
he not okay you know what I mean like try to play it off but it's like you hear all these things and even as a kid
00:53:00
living in that house yeah I was able to go you know what that just sounds like insan and doesn't make any sense yeah it
00:53:06
doesn't it just doesn't seem right it doesn't seem right so it's like and you kind of so I'm just saying like these countries you there's not a kid there
00:53:14
going yeah this seems weird there proba you think there would be a bunch of kids I think but I think if everybody around
00:53:20
you is is speaking the same language it'd be hard to learn another one really
00:53:26
like I I just don't I just think if everyone dude if you're if you're only shown one thing and and particularly if
00:53:31
you're shown that Western culture is [ __ ] if they're talked about that we're [ __ ] that we're disgusting and
00:53:37
against what they believe in their religious beliefs then of course they [ __ ] hate us or you see like a group
00:53:42
being oppressed and you're doing the oppress like I would in my mind be like no this
00:53:47
is not this seems you would think so but that's only because you've gotten what you've gotten no I think that I mean
00:53:53
maybe I'm wrong and I I don't know but maybe I'm wrong but I feel like no matter what society that I'm in I would
00:54:00
look at the circumstances and go you know that doesn't make any sense that's if you're lucky enough to be educated no
00:54:05
I think it's just a thing no but I'm saying if you're young and you're uneducated Bob you don't have these kind of I was uneducated I've never read a
00:54:11
book of my life you grew up in America and you know what I mean like but do you know do you guys understand what I'm saying uneducated and if your needs are
00:54:17
not met then you're thinking of other things like there always a group of people that think like that in every
00:54:22
country yeah there's people that think you see how those women like in Iran despite the fact that they were like this is also this is also helped because
00:54:28
of the internet and knowledge right so for for a long time no one had knowledge of any other way like they would live kind of sheltered off so they would
00:54:35
shelter people from learning about Western ideology and culture about our freedom of you know of sex and religion
00:54:42
and blah blah blah and I think a lot of that was like that's evil [ __ ] when they do read about it but now with the
00:54:48
internet right they're privy to seeing way more that's why [ __ ] North Korea he can't doesn't have the [ __ ]
00:54:53
internet he doesn't want them to to learn what the [ __ ] going the world they'll all go what yeah we're we should
00:55:01
we would get the [ __ ] out yeah it's like for me like my dad beating me and my brother right it's like in my mind I'm
00:55:08
like oh I'm never going to do this to another human being but there are some kids that perpetuate that cycle they do
00:55:13
it to their own children I guess I was just have this weird think way of thinking maybe you're lucky that it
00:55:19
turned out that way because you could be an abusive lunatic too I think it's now
00:55:25
yeah I think it's luck it was traumatized into you no I just think that some I don't know no I think you're lucky you could have turned out the
00:55:31
other way I think it's also like this abil I don't know forget it it's not comedy but I you know I I just want to
00:55:37
argue this fact that I see this in you know when people get sober right it's
00:55:43
like um last week some guy just got sober that we know right and he was able
00:55:48
to go inside himself and go you know um I think I have a problem you know I'm
00:55:55
no longer in denial and I I I think that if I keep doing this I can see down the road that I'm going to lose everything
00:56:01
so I'll stop here I've always been like that where I'm like you know I haven't lost anything like every time I get
00:56:06
sober I haven't lost anything but I can feel in a year or two if this Behavior
00:56:11
continues that I will so I stop it here right and some people don't have that ability they just go all the way at to
00:56:17
the end yeah no they can't help it and I don't know why that is yeah that's but some people just have that that's right
00:56:24
some people just can't help the way they react to how their inner demons or shortcomings or
00:56:32
addictions or things control them that's my point is some people have traumatic things when they were a kid and they
00:56:37
it's almost like this deep rooted thing they can't get rid of and you're very blessed that you're able to shift I
00:56:43
don't think it's a gift I just I just don't understand it myself I I that's why it must be a gift it's not you if it's not you it's something else it's
00:56:49
the Lord It's the Lord Jesus Christ the Lord Jesus Christ I knew what it was the Lord Jesus our lord and savior yeah our
00:56:55
Lord and savior and I'm sorry for that guy who got arrested for being gay and turkey you come over here to West
00:57:00
Hollywood we'll open our arms and our butth holes to you and you're even if you're not g I know he said he's not gay
00:57:06
yeah he looks gay though he does yeah I mean I feel like he's lying you can come to the have you been to the ABY I went
00:57:13
years and years ago go the ab it was a little underrated I got hit on like twice and I was a little let down I was
00:57:19
like twice so I was with I was wearing a crop top and everything really no that
00:57:24
guy was so I I went to the ab with some straight guys and they met with some of their gay friends and we're at a we're
00:57:30
at a table straight and one of the guys kind of put his hand on my knee from across the table and I go oh no no and
00:57:38
he goes oh I'm sorry I read it wrong I just remember that oh yeah what do you mean that like I think I exu you know
00:57:45
before people knew who I was or whatever I think I exuded it oh yeah same what do me oh yeah one big time you do big time yeah yeah if I take you to a gay bar no
00:57:52
no wait what does that mean if I took you to a gay bar they'd look at me and be like what is he doing here and then go just leave that one get out of here
00:57:58
leave him and get out of here they think I was dropping you off really yeah I think I would have been like one of dmer
00:58:04
guys no yeah cuz he loved Asians he would have taken you back and be like this one's too crazy too crazy yeah no
00:58:11
but he like really like fit tiny little in shape Asians like little little twinky boys he like twinks you saying I
00:58:17
wouldn't fit in the drum he like yeah you wouldn't fit in the drum imagine him
00:58:23
like he's like a suitcase he's like sitting on it yeah he's got like 15 Drums of Bobby Lee 15 Drums of Bobby
00:58:33
Le this egg roll just won't go
00:58:39
down this yeah yeah I think that I would because you know if you watch the show I
00:58:46
think once I saw his hallway and his house I would have been like ah yeah but they were enamored with this guy they
00:58:53
thought he like a hot cool guy yeah right he was Cher wor workman's boots you know remember that thing we listen
00:58:59
to spoy No the um no no the mo the moth yeah the mo there was a great story on
00:59:04
the moth about this about a guy who was who had an interaction with dmer yeah so he's basically you guys know about us
00:59:10
yeah we in the car yeah yeah for anyone that's listening explain it to it's a basically a guy that's he was talking
00:59:16
about something that happened to him in the 80s he didn't really come out and somebody suggested you should go to this gay bar so he went to this gay bar in
00:59:23
Wisconsin and you know this guy should come in and when you're listening to the
00:59:28
thing you don't know you don't think it's about dmer right and he's like I started dressing like him and he's like
00:59:34
why won't he hit on me and he was always leaving with other guys right and then years l a couple years later he was like
00:59:39
teaching in New York and he saw the news insane how insane is that he was coming into a sexual Revolution as a college
00:59:45
man who was becoming coming out of the closet yeah it's a great moth story and I I was wondering you know where how
00:59:51
many brushes of death I I I've know like how many cal have I walked by
00:59:59
not even knowing maybe not well also just like moments in life you could have died yeah like a seconds away from it I
01:00:05
didn't I took a left instead of a right you don't really hear about serials no more huh yeah they've come one that's
01:00:10
active now there's one right now what's his name the guy that's out there he's doing his thing so there's a look at this there's a uh what's it called Gilgo
01:00:17
Beach serial killer suspect Rex howman yeah uh Ser Texas serial kill plead
01:00:23
guilty to many there's so many there's too many that's why I thought there was none you think it was a fan I liked my
01:00:29
reality 10 seconds ago no it's they're out there I thought they solved it well I think the problem is you're you're
01:00:36
there's a there's a mistake of thinking that a serial killer has to be this like famous notorious and killed hundreds or
01:00:42
whatever but a lot of these guys they just kill dozens of they're not as talented no yeah they're not as good they're getting CAU I mean let's be
01:00:48
honest are they not as good or are they getting caught faster they're not F1 drivers you know they're the NASCAR of
01:00:53
killing the NASCAR of I mean it's dark it's dark but there are ones that
01:01:00
are you know you could see they got potential not they got potential they just have their own thing going I mean
01:01:05
you got to be really good right now John yeah John Way Wayne gasey the clown stuff so good hiding the bodies inside
01:01:11
his mom's house so good in the walls of her home in the walls of her home underneath very good you can't do that
01:01:17
anymore though well there's forensics I know it's too hard cameras we talk about
01:01:23
it like we were going to try yeah much like do you think if the Zodiac cuz theyve never caught him yeah the Zodiac
01:01:28
you think if it happened now that we'd be able to catch him yeah I think so with the [ __ ] but also I think
01:01:33
sometimes like simple [ __ ] can get like the woman at the one of the dealers at the casino uh a guy that was sit in my
01:01:38
table made a joke he was what if I just grab that whole try and just ran out of here and and he goes I'd get tackled or shot right away right and she goes yeah
01:01:45
but we had a guy not too long ago grabbed a whole try ran outside into a car that was
01:01:50
waiting in like one of the turnarounds and actually got away but at the place where he was sitting you know cuz he was
01:01:56
sitting faking playing cards for a while he left his
01:02:01
ID funny she she was like the even the cop was like he's like the Joker leaving
01:02:07
his calling card well that's happened before but Killers leaving their license or wallet at the [ __ ] crime crime
01:02:12
scene like what are you doing don't bring it yeah don't bring it and why do you have your actual ID yeah yeah yeah
01:02:18
you're you're not going to get carded you're 40 yeah you're fine you imagine a Killer goes into a place but he gets
01:02:24
carded he's like I forgot it's like why he's like I'm going in there to kill somebody I don't want to leave any
01:02:29
evidence the honest killer yeah and the bouncer like all right get in there man you're not gonna kill anybody I don't
01:02:34
like I don't like the fact that I've been in groups of people where everybody gets carded and then they look at me and
01:02:42
they go go ahead man and you're just card me anyway no I'm in line no but
01:02:47
they're saying they probably recognize you cuz you're famous no cuz I have an old face I got an old weathered face I
01:02:53
still get carded some that's cuz they want to make sure it's you they're like is this that guy because all all Asians look alike
01:02:58
they're like this just could be another Asian right tell me I'm wrong they
01:03:04
literally go is that tou is that all I'm going to say is touche that's interesting maybe right I
01:03:12
think I you just you know you're one of those guys I went to a cocaine party on uh Saturday night wait wait come on well
01:03:19
I I don't know how interesting it is though cocaine parties are always interesting it might end but yeah I went
01:03:25
to a Billionaire's house and uh and partied did you wait wait Saturday night
01:03:30
smoked a in Austin I didn't do in Austin in Austin yeah went to Joe Rogan's house and did cocaine no no no so you went you
01:03:37
did a show I'm hanging out with Tony henchcliffe he got a billionaire friend he takes me and a bunch of comics we go
01:03:43
to this beautiful House El MOS how many people are there 50 hot chicks yeah
01:03:50
uhhuh all hot dudes all the chicks are hot they're like all from different countries wow I'm like they're looking
01:03:56
at me like what what is it you know but then they get to talk why is
01:04:01
the servant in Street clo but then by conversation they're like I love is that
01:04:08
degenerous I was dancing for him yeah you were dancing oh yeah they all thought I was Ellen that was just a joke
01:04:14
okay no but I leaned in yeah be honest did you go skiing no no no but it was
01:04:20
everywhere you didn't hit the slopes uh no no no Jess you can be h I used to do it I'm I'm All No Coke No
01:04:27
Coke near you no I honestly if you ever did it and you died from fentanyl oros or whatever I would be so mad at you I
01:04:33
know don't do it what about test it ketamine oh yeah they you can test it you test it or and get an Aran you're
01:04:39
fine go do Coke I can't it's too addictive I used to do so much of it yeah that's why I do even when I saw it
01:04:45
at the party I was like I could had to hold my body all the hot model chicks doing coke I I didn't actually like see
01:04:53
people doing the coke it was just like like on the table it just obvious conversations were there too could I if I was there and I was using do I have to
01:04:59
ask or can I just do it if you were do you go who's is this no it was like it
01:05:05
looked like excuse me yeah whose Coke is this yeah that's what I'm saying is this your Coke yeah good I is that cool okay
01:05:13
that's what I would do no you wouldn't do so there's Coke at the what if somebody you doing like hey dude that's my Coke if you well then you go like
01:05:19
this and you just put it right back out sorry my bad if you showed up to a party and they knew you were using
01:05:24
everybody would be giving you C you would with extra Coke I I shoot heroin
01:05:30
right there orag at a coke party can you shoot heroin no it's a little a little faux it is that's what I thought
01:05:37
probably to go what about other drugs like ice what's ice everybody wants to smoke ice meth there was a that cocaine
01:05:42
was out like a bowl of chips like anyone could go in wow and there was a DJ who played like guitar and with DJ and sing
01:05:50
and he was on cocaine yeah any guy that's doing that much music I'm going I think I'm going into in a couple of weeks I'm going to Austin I'm going to
01:05:57
ask you are yeah I'm going to ask the end of the year Tony I going to ask Tony if he's going to take me to a cocaine
01:06:02
party no no just to hang out I'm not going to do it don't go to that house what I just want to see what it's like
01:06:08
too much there too much available Carlos is nodding his head he knows yeah don't hang out with [ __ ] Tony and Austin
01:06:14
why he's fun to hang out with he is no I'm saying don't go to the coke house is what I'm saying I'm saying don't go to was William Montgomery there no no
01:06:21
William is sober he has skin cancer he's got he went and got it um removed though
01:06:26
oh God thank God Jesus Christ melanoma yeah but he's doing good love that guy melanoma has been hunting me down for
01:06:32
years really I mean I what do you mean what the [ __ ] like I mean do you have cancer I have I I have a blump in my
01:06:37
armpit let me see your blump right here is it a bump lump it's a big lump in my armpit it's a blump yeah yeah underneath
01:06:43
inside your skin you got to go get it checked out why Bobby take a guess
01:06:49
why what if you have lymphatic cancer or something like that that's where your lymph nodes are underneath your armpits
01:06:54
it's dying down oh it's gone down a little bit oh you're fine don't worry about it you go get a checked out yeah I went to the doctor I had to go get you
01:07:00
know how hard it was for him to he called me and was like oh man your [ __ ] your levels are elevated I was like what yeah it's such a bummer to
01:07:06
like hear it yeah he's like I got to put you on cholesterol medication I'm sorry he said he said your sugars were high I
01:07:11
was like I don't even eat sugar yeah I don't even eat sugar carbs huh carbs I don't eat that many carbs skinnier than
01:07:18
you fat ass but can I be honest with I I I think I need you guys to really push
01:07:23
me into getting healthier really I'm at the level hike with me no he's not going to
01:07:29
do that no I'm at a level well let's find something I can feel my body I don't feel right Hot Yoga you said you want to do that that'll make you feel so
01:07:36
good I honestly need help I I I I don't feel good let's start a program we'll start a program I really don't feel good
01:07:42
like neck hurts I I'm groggy I I'm weak let's start a program what should it be the Bobby Health El the uh oh hot dog
01:07:49
workout program I just did Dylan francis's music video and had a dance in it and it it was like exhausting not
01:07:56
just I almost died well how about this if you are bad friends out there and you have any health tips for Bobby please
01:08:01
let us know about your health we really need to know how we can get him back to square one oh I have one idea give
01:08:07
Andrew full control of your door Dash account in any food delivery account that's actually very interesting and
01:08:12
anytime you're hungry you hit me up and I'll order for you that's actually [ __ ] brilliant what that's actually [ __ ]
01:08:20
brilliant I have to get my pink Berry well you work out the deal with him you might be the only guy in La that still
01:08:25
eats Pinkberry Jean too we're addicted to it it's you to we love it it's dog [ __ ] ah I different I think the market
01:08:33
share showed how bad it was no I think they opened a thousand they have like four left it's a Nostalgia yeah it's dog
01:08:39
[ __ ] yeah is it ice cream no no it's a shame it's disgusting it's not disgusting you get The Malt crunch with
01:08:44
it what is it pink Berry with Mal crunch frozen yogurt it was it was like tart tart frozen yogurt yeah yeah yeah and
01:08:52
there was a hype for it when I first moved to LA it became like a big thing and they open million and they shut all down because Starbucks bought it no it
01:08:59
it's because everyone realized it was [ __ ] and they were like [ __ ] this let's just have ice cream anyway I I'll give ice cream for Life
01:09:07
what would you order for Life You' have to get you get a solid every once in a while I'm going to get you yeah I think
01:09:12
it'd be more of rescripting Jersey Mike's can I get that no no I'm going to read you what I get you can get sub in a
01:09:18
tub yeah no that's so disgusting sub what's a sub in a tub it's literally like all the ingredients for the sub but
01:09:24
in a in a plastic tin tub instead of a no bread no bread okay there's sub in a tub right there it's actually delicious
01:09:30
it looks so gross though it's just a salad that's sub in a tub what's wrong with that sub in a tub sweet green
01:09:35
salad's way better than that it's just it's just it's just the ingredients without bread okay look at the second
01:09:41
one that's sub in a tub that's traditional how they do it with like a turkey one okay I'll get sub in a tub I've gotten it before it's not that big
01:09:47
it's actually great all right okay anyway thank you for being a bad
01:09:52
friend
01:09:58
woo wo
01:10:03
yeah
01:10:08
woo
01:10:16
woo
