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Happy Stardew Birthday, Bobby | Ep 184 | Bad Friends

September 18, 2023 / 01:14:04

This episode features Bobby Lee's birthday celebration, discussions about upcoming tour dates, and humorous anecdotes involving guests and past experiences.

Bobby and Andrew Santino announce their tour schedule, which includes stops in Boston, Washington DC, Denver, Milwaukee, Chicago, Minneapolis, and Madison. They hint at potential international dates in the new year.

The conversation shifts to Bobby's birthday, where they wear costumes from Stardew Valley. Bobby shares a story about a previous interview with Robert Kennedy Jr. and his wife Cheryl Hines, expressing regret over not telling a joke.

They discuss various topics, including the Village People, John Wayne's controversial remarks, and Bobby's experiences with acupuncture. The episode also includes light-hearted banter about past high school reunions and pranks.

The episode concludes with gift exchanges, where Bobby receives a humorous temporary restraining order from Jet Ski and various face masks from Rudy Jules, leading to playful ratings of each gift.

TL;DR

Bobby Lee celebrates his birthday with costumes, tour announcements, and humorous gift exchanges with guests.

Episode

1:14:04
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hey friends on tour don't miss out yes we're going to be in Boston Massachusetts
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Washington DC October 21st Denver Colorado October 28th then we go to the
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Midwest we go to Milwaukee Wisconsin November 24th and Chicago Illinois November 25th right after Thanksgiving
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Minneapolis Minnesota November 30th yeah that's where you're from baby and then we finish it out in Madison Wisconsin
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December 1st you got to come see us go to badfriendspod.com for tickets badfriendspod.com also a little hint for
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the inside fans we might be adding a ton of dates come in the New Year oh we all might be going International my friends
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oh yeah go to badfriendspod.com for tickets badfriends.com hey
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go ahead we don't have a patreon we got a patreon I'm excited I know and I'll tell you why we have a patreon why why
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people are like oh what do you guys on patreon let me tell you something because we're putting out more content on there we have uh behind the scenes
00:00:56
stuff from on the road in which little macconi put together also we have not really a bonus episode but it's another
00:01:02
extra little thing that we put on there levels dog there's fun stuff we put on there for you guys to enjoy if you don't
00:01:08
want to join that's fine just still remain a fan of the episodes will come out every single Monday but if you
00:01:13
really love us you can join and you'll get the episode on Friday ad free you
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can have fun with us and we're putting up uh more stuff as we go it's being added as we go and edited so the patreon
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will be there go to patreon.com bad friends mm-hmm bad friends right is that everyone.com
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bad friends patreon.com bad friends to sign up today the link is in the description below you two are
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[Music] good you two are disgusting
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um we're bad friends are we ready to get started is your mic broken it's just I
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don't like the way it is what you Crank It Up This Way see how crazy oh there we go of course it will it cranks up a
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little Bluetooth should we a little blue tree in the microphone should we start the right way
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happy birthday
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[Applause] [Music]
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[Applause] to you I gotta tell you that looked like
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um that did look like KKK for some reason yeah yeah what is that what's KKK in Korean oh it means um white power
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years old look at you 52 years old and you're playing Star field plus video games all
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day long no life your loser looks so Korean you look so Korean I do yeah oh
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dude it's my birthday holy moly so explain to all the viewers uh that are watching right now we're wearing stardew
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Valley costumes for your body I don't know why I stopped playing it who am I you're Harvey in the game you're the
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town Doctor Harvey Weinstein the town doctor Town doctor and he um he likes um come to my room I'll take care of it for
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you yeah and then you're you're Emily she's got a lesbian she works at the bar She's a Lesbian that works at the bar
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imitating life and I'm um Sebastian the email guy that lives up north hell yeah
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what's up where dude like Portland where do you live now oh just up north in the mountains and then
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um Abigail's not here yet but um so can I just say what's happened yesterday what happened kiddo so you know I had uh
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Robert Kennedy Jr on and I wrote One joke and I wasn't able to tell the joke because I got scared tell the joke well
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you know I because I go well because his wife was on it too yeah Cheryl Hines Cheryl Hines so they're on it and so I
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did the setup I go hey do you guys fart on each other
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and right when I said that I realized I couldn't do the Joe why not because that
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their campaign manager went no yeah yeah and then they it was almost as if like
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what the [ __ ] they've never been asked that you didn't do any other Kennedy stuff did you no I had a bunch of stuff
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but after this all I was gonna say is if they'd said we fart on each other that
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go does your fart sound different like your voice that would have been a good joke I feel
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like that would have been received by I know but because I set up the fart thing and they didn't respond to that I
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couldn't do the [ __ ] does your farts sound like your voice no I get it yeah I get you had to bail yeah I said you were
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really nervous oh I was pacing back and forth because I've never had like a politician and stuff he's not really a
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politician is he was he not in the Congress right no I thought he was a YouTube guy
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and Robert F Kennedy Jr I was a huge fan of Cheryl too she's the [ __ ] she's the
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[ __ ] so it's unbelievable what what a power couple huh politics and Hollywood
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the ultimate cabal yeah how much baby blood do they have at their house huh oh
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so much so much good babies too we have Obama baby blood Obama baby blood Obama Obama Obama baby blood Obama Obama
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Obama baby blood oh what time is it what time is it she's
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late and she knows it yeah yeah 605 and you're running late but you showed up let's give it up for the Rudy Jewels
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put on that wig put on the wig and there's a choker too yeah Carlos for some reason is really pushing the choker
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oh it's a part of the costume uh-huh all right if the Village People were stand-up comics let's go through that photo down that one and let's see who so
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um Craig Robinson no on the middle yeah Greg Robertson top left wait wait let me
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Chris Spencer Chris Spencer yeah yeah in the middle of the India Harley fan not Charlie Charlie um Charlie Hill Charlie
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Hill Charlie Hill who's on the far right Shane Gillis Shane Gillis and then who's the bottom right that's another there's
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three blacks That's Tony Tony Hinchcliffe well that's a black guy yeah and the far left is it's got to be me I
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gotta be the band you're not in it oh [ __ ] I hate to tell you you're not in it oh the guy at the far left is Jesus
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Trejo there he is yeah they should remake it look at the Rudy Jewels back in yeah one last thing I think about the
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Village People though and I don't even know and excuse me for even asking this question I really don't know okay are
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they all gay okay no none of them only one of them is gay be real how many are there let's guess
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okay out of the six let's just before we go before you Google that the obvious answer is all of them
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can you imagine being the one not gay guy in the Village People they're out having fun every night after show yeah
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and he is going back to the hotel room just to read a book yeah he's just his bomb imagine that one of them is really religious he just goes and reads a Bible
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in the room all these guys are having [ __ ] copper orgies right by the way if if they were still around they were
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still around are they still they're not dead are they touring I mean if they're touring Carlos should go to a show oh
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that'd be so that's where you'd find all that you're looking for everything you're looking for is there are the Village People still touring Glenn
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Hughes the biker despite the stereotypical connotations that surrounded his character is straight wow there you go oh wow here we are wait a
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minute here we are dude Randy Jones Cowboys openly gay Felipe Rose the Indian is openly gay Victor Willis the
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cop of sexuality is unknown let me just throw my hat no you can't Point your
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finger wait a minute Glenn Hughes the biker isn't gay he's not gay the one that we thought were was riddled with it
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yeah the one that we thought yeah it has no age well you don't know that oh that's true I don't know his extracurricular activities by the way
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these guys imagine after a show the amount of dick getting that these guys get and then Glenn Hughes has to sit
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there and pretend look I'm Glenn Hughes you guys are the Village People this is the after party yeah yeah
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hey what's up you having fun yeah it was such a good shoe your ass was
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jigging oh cut it out your ass was jiggly jiggly jiggly jiggly up there please cut it out now anyway
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um hey do the thing that you did on the Improv jiggly thing you did honestly the
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show's all hands down and do it the show is over you're pressing to do it guys please stop making me do this I
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don't want to do this anymore anyway I'm a man of the Lord hey you want some of this Popsicle is it a popper popsicle no
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it's my take oh that is there's never a stick at the end of these things
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it'd be such a bummer to be backstage the amount of Dick they would get would be absurd and then this guy would have
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to chill that's not true what if they're all in relationships okay no I'm being real now you're making
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an assumption okay I'm sorry Anderson just make an assumption that these guys are like still single yeah based on some
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of the some of the more popular ideologies of touring gay Superstars Liberace
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committed relationship maybe okay Elton John was committed no yeah he
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was not I hung out with Elton John oh you [ __ ] you [ __ ] him I didn't we didn't you know what a girl doesn't kiss
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and tell yeah Rudy Jules welcome to the party hello yeah why do you think we're
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doing this episode today because it's your sister and you didn't say [ __ ] yet because I we
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yeah she's doing the polite thing now oh that's so nice um sing happy birthday right now in in Tagalog or in your life
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whatever it is no sing it I want you to hear it in a different language you were late so you
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have to sing to him wait long uh that's it that's how cool it is
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that's how fast what a great song it's so quick but to the point if you slow it down if you translate happy happy yes
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they don't say that often out there you never hear Whit long go ahead yeah yeah what did they sing in the Philippines
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did they sing the Christmas songs as well besides there's like English and there's Tagalog I know but do you celebrate
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Christmas there yeah yeah can I say something why look at me right now Santa doesn't go there Santa doesn't go there
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no chance yeah he does oh really yeah you think it's the happiest there every
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question you think every Christmas and there's always imagine what Santa has to do as Santa
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has to go to all the states all the cities in America yeah all of Europe you
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think he goes to America First no definitely yeah la first yeah yeah la New York L.A New York Chicago Atlanta
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you know he's done he's in London it's five in the 5 30 in the morning he's not coming right Alf calls them hey hey
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you forgot you hate boss it's a Filipino elf no I don't know
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yeah you forgot to go to the Philippines oh no yeah what is he gonna do
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bail bail yeah he's gonna bail he's like across the Pacific
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I go to that little Island apples and coconuts you guys pick those pick them sing it
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right now I want to hear it you don't even know the words go ahead go ahead
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now how often do you sing Happy Birthday to someone you love in the Philippines did they never sing
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but it's in C oh you're stealing our culture again cultural appropriation do you guys steal
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Fourth of July you can't you can't it's not about you no you gotta win that yeah you got to win that man undefeated
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Black History Month [ __ ] you you should have one yeah you really should yeah how many black people
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are in the Philippines 16 I think yeah yeah wait do you guys have gay pride month or any of that stuff I think
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so yeah you think so you would know you would know you would know yeah uh look at this Metro Manila pride pride safe
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spaces and lab Lab what's a lab Lab it's when you get tested tested
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I have no idea so that's the Metro oh there is a manila
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Metro Pride 2024 gay out.com why is that been clicked a bunch by you Carlos
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stop stop are those your gay men yeah God look at how handsome oh he's so good
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wow let me see let me see let me see a photo that looks that looks exactly right here
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and then let me ask cute yeah cute they're all gonna be cute Filipinos are all cute what's wondering
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what he does for a living let's take a guess okay um he scrapes he's a scraper he scrape
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something I definitely see scrapers no doubt yeah he scrapes um some sort of dried something that was
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there for a few days like a dentist on the wall on a wall on the wall on a wall high up high up on a wall he's gotta
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have a ladder to get up there oh I see what he does I don't know how that's I know he does I know what he does Carpenter no not like a carpenter no you
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know so what let me see something a carpet a carpenter yeah like Jesus what is this yeah it's a scraping oh no no he
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doesn't Carpenter's old scrape wall do they no I don't know yeah what does a carpenter do
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the they build and they make you know how there's some like podcasts
00:13:34
that are like for Science and Arts and all that stuff and you know why we're so big in the comedy World why there is
00:13:40
nothing smart to be gained on this show we don't know anything it's really pathetic not one person even our help
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doesn't know anything I know they know less than most I'm the help yeah you're the help I didn't say it but
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I'm what do you think you are the sidekick I don't think so you know what you're
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not the help because you don't never help yeah that's true you're not that is sidekick a Asian thing when you know
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when someone said like you're my sidekick is that am I your Sidekick yeah but you're my side I'm your co-host
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stop stop stop stop this is gonna this is my birthday and stop all right let's let's get to the
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root of this you're my size and I'm your co-host so am I your side yeah welcome
00:14:20
back to the show you're my sidekick and I'm your co-host yeah so I'm your um Ed McMahon you're my
00:14:29
sidekick this is your show and I'm the psychic no no you're misinterpreting okay go ahead you're my sidekick I can't
00:14:35
be your sidekick why because you're my little you're my little sweetie you're my big little guy but you're my noodle
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boy you're my [ __ ] um your roast beef man that's right I'm your roast beef man yeah yeah you can say that I'm your
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right hand I'm your left hand roast beef no you're my side side no I'm not your Sidekick I'm not because of the size
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listen to sidekick he wants to be main course yeah sidekick oh what are you
00:14:57
yeah uh gunfire gunfire I'm your left Chef I'm Kato yeah is that what you're
00:15:03
you're referring to Cato now you're picking up what I'm putting down psychic's fine if I'm Kato yeah you're
00:15:08
okay okay good yeah yeah and then I'm uh Kanto that's right am I Tanto and I'm
00:15:13
John Wayne yeah beastiality he's racist he's not racist prove that he's racist he played Genghis
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Khan in a movie pretty well acting acting acting and he campaigned
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for did you know that God bless has Jonathan look has John Wayne said anything racist ever let's see
00:15:32
USC will remove a John Wayne exhibit after actor's racist tirade
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said let's head all right you you go ahead zoom in the University of Southern California
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School of uh cinematic Arts will remove an exhibit dedicated John Wayne as the actors passed bigoted remarks have come
00:15:49
under increased scrutiny uh system what is racism let's see what he said what
00:15:55
did he say I believe in white supremacy until the blacks are educated to a point of responsibility the actor said I don't
00:16:00
believe in giving Authority and positions of leadership and judgment to irresponsible people that's literally wait wait zoom in I can't I feel like
00:16:07
you're improvising zoom in because I can't read it let me read it I can't [ __ ] believe this is I believe in
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white supremacy that alone take the statue down
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I can't believe it I believe it went Supremacy until the blacks are educated
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to a point of responsibility you know I don't even know what he's talking about maybe he's not talking about people
00:16:30
he might be talking about like colors of Kit like Mike and Ikes like candy oh like licorice exactly black licorice
00:16:37
black licorice oh I don't believe in giving Authority in positions of leadership and judgment to irresponsible people interesting
00:16:44
interesting interesting interesting interesting by the way he said that in the 1971 interview in Playboy uh that
00:16:50
that uh that accredited uh piece of Journalism imagine what did he say you
00:16:55
know what he said you know when he said that [ __ ] weirdo you know how sometimes like um actresses what do they speak at a graduation at a college
00:17:02
graduation yeah when they when they do the chemical commencement he did it at Brown University [Laughter]
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right come here come on we're black people go ahead
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say it again it's great to be here Pilgrims go back to the speech go back to the speech I gotta tell you wait all
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right let me say something I have a little let me introduce
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you're doing Clint Eastwood by the way oh I thought it was the same guy John Wayne is kind of Clint eastwoody yeah
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yeah similar yeah howdy partner help I'm John Wayne John Wayne
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kind of talked like this this town ain't big enough for the both of us this town
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ain't big enough for two of us black guy hey 2022 graduates from Brown University
00:17:51
you guys ready for a commencement speaker oh so we're a huge fans guys of this guy
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he's Elite he's the lead in so many good western movies um he also played Genghis Khan in a
00:18:04
movie called The Conqueror um so give a round of applause for John Wayne everybody
00:18:10
well hey there pilgrims I believe in white supremacy until the
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blacks are educated enough to a point of responsibility nobody
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I don't believe in giving Authority and positions leadership a judgment to irresponsible people anyway
00:18:31
thank you John give him a round of applause oh my God imagine so they pulled down a statue of him is that what
00:18:36
it was USC yeah an exhibit well that's what you get they're not gonna re he's
00:18:42
still his name is still in the [ __ ] airport in Orange County he's a little John Wayne Airport in Orange County yeah I mean what what should we take away
00:18:49
from him from John Wayne yeah I mean he's gone he's dead he is dead do we
00:18:54
take out give him I mean why doesn't we why can't we important
00:18:59
that's an even better question what yeah why does it matter anymore but you know who he is no no John Wayne so you know who Keanu
00:19:06
Reeves is yes that's his father yes yes that was his dad that was it
00:19:12
John Wayne was counter Keanu Reeves is John Wayne's third son yeah you know who his other one was John Wayne is John's
00:19:18
middle name his last name is Reeve so his name is John Wayne Reeves and and and and uh and you're not gonna believe
00:19:24
this but the original Superman Christopher Reeves John Wayne's other son yep
00:19:30
and but he and he was on a rhino yep many years ago he was on a rhino yeah
00:19:35
rhino back you know I mean through the forest rhinos flipped and Christopher Reeves
00:19:42
his neck broke I thought yeah they call it a horse but it's a rhino yeah it was a rhino yeah in the
00:19:48
modern day we would call it a horse because we didn't know what it was back back then we didn't know yeah now I just thought it was a gray fat big fat horse
00:19:55
dude that horse has been eating way too much door down dude I love doordash so much
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00:22:37
the Reeves let's go back to the reefs does John uh Wayne Reeves John Wayne Reeves had two kids Christopher Reeves and he also had um Keanu Reeves the
00:22:45
youngest and um yeah so do you know who they're Superstars now Superstars now
00:22:52
why is the father important he was the star of many leading western films you know he was basically Brad Pitt back
00:22:59
then he was was he handsome let's put him today if he was considered handsome
00:23:05
I think well let's see if she likes him there he is there's an image of this guy now keep in mind he he was he was six
00:23:12
foot three big guy yeah leathery skin he looked exactly like Trump he was same
00:23:17
height and weight look at him what do you think no no I don't like that you don't like that too much of a white guy yeah yeah too
00:23:23
much of a bad boy look at him now how do you like him looking on that rhino look at that problem look at him on that brown Rhino right
00:23:30
there no you still don't think he's handsome now what is it he's got a little gut then he started getting a gut this was great about this guy you could
00:23:36
be a star of [ __ ] film and be fat he was [ __ ] fat Google John Wayne as Genghis Khan please I want to show he
00:23:43
played Genghis you know Genghis Khan is right no Genghis Khan was like this uh Genghis Khan one of the greatest look at
00:23:49
that you played an Asian guy in a movie like but tell me who was going to play
00:23:55
it better than that I mean that looks really good speaking of Asian stuff dude I got acupuncture yesterday it worked didn't
00:24:01
it I love acupuncture did it work a little bit but you know he because I have the herniation in my back so my my
00:24:07
back and my butt and my leg is all messed up so he tapped a lot of the of the acupunctures in my butt
00:24:14
and it was wild your butt your butt kind of convulses when it and it's and he says oh it's grabbing the needle
00:24:20
and it and it grabs it and pulls it in more so it got deeper into my butt cheeks and then they put on the infrared
00:24:26
you've done it before right no you've never done acupuncture wow it's incredible and then they put on these heat lamps over you so it's supposed to
00:24:32
extract I'm normal huh I'm like a normal guy this came from you guys I know but I don't my body doesn't
00:24:38
need fixing I your honor I'm gonna have to disagree politely yeah yeah well I
00:24:45
don't have like your body's had too much Fixins that's the problem Oh you think so too many Fixins oh too much fat well
00:24:50
Fixins is usually side courses there's a main course and some fixes right okay anyway like when we go out to eat and you go I'll take a steak and I'll also
00:24:56
take everything off the sides menu you do you guys do that you go mac and
00:25:01
cheese come on Carlos give me a [ __ ] do I do that yeah yeah and it's awesome it is red thank you I love it yeah and
00:25:08
we're about to go back on and do it again this poor girl has to clean out my refrigerator every week God bless and I
00:25:13
eat it I was gonna say I bet you have some great finds that's the scrape that's the scraper we were talking about like what do you find it what do you
00:25:19
find that you need you keep Din Tai Fung and you don't eat it and it's so good I love tendai Fung yeah so so good you
00:25:26
know what it is yeah what do you mean the soup dumplings and all this stuff they're everywhere dude everybody everyone has them everyone has one
00:25:32
they're also such a ripoff it's like six dumplings for like 30 bucks you're like what yeah it's but
00:25:39
it's not like we went there I think at the restaurant yeah it's not like Mr chowza oh my God have you I haven't been to Mr chows in a long time 25 years ago
00:25:46
Mr Chow in Hollywood I remember being an assistant Mr uh Mr Chow was the spot for
00:25:51
famous people to go to but the food is medium at best yeah I so I have a photo
00:25:58
with them on Instagram Mr Chow there's a child right well the reason why is because it was at the store and he comes
00:26:03
I get off stage you go hey buddy let me talk to you right and he pulls me out and he goes I'm Mr ciao whoa where I go
00:26:11
I don't know what like I didn't know what it was hmm like okay cool he's like come to my wedding why wouldn't you go
00:26:19
to that guy's wedding I didn't know who he was until later I was like oh he owns that restaurant I always say yes when a
00:26:24
Malaysian guy offers you really wedding I've always said yes a little Asian guy comes up to you go hey buddy come to the
00:26:29
Bahamas with me I've been to 16 weddings of people I don't know I just little Asian people they ask me and I go and
00:26:35
two of them are turned out to be famous Ronnie Chang didn't know who he was invited me went
00:26:41
to his wedding had a great time laughs what do you think the second one
00:26:48
was well I know it wasn't Ken because I was at the wedding you were Steven Young never met them before went to their
00:26:54
wedding I had no idea sure it is how you got beef that's definitely how I got beef
00:27:01
can you imagine me wait let me ask you you know remember I had to read three times for beef yeah I posted a
00:27:06
picture of it on my Instagram did you how many times did you read for beef yeah uh zero right no I think I read
00:27:18
zero yeah yeah no that's not true I read over the phone twice we had to do over the phone you read over the phone well
00:27:23
we had to do phone chemistry Zoom chemistry tests we didn't do it in person okay so I did
00:27:29
it over Zoom anyway and you weren't avail
00:27:34
and Mr rehab hi Mr rehab here Mr rehab tell us what's going on in your world
00:27:40
jet ski now that you're living alone you're free we're back from tour although we're going back in literally a week
00:27:45
um headlining I've been going around I just got back from Austin I went to my high school reunion uh in Arizona not
00:27:51
too long ago everyone thinks I'm famous you are famous you are famous talk about the high school reunion did you uh shake
00:27:57
it at some of the boys that uh rejected you back in the day oh no no no no no okay there wasn't are you tan I've been
00:28:04
going outside she's been leaving the house are you trying to look a particular way for the mail
00:28:18
well I won Phoenix and then Austin for like two weeks and that was just it was so hot out there it was just that are
00:28:24
you showing are you showing cleavage um if I knew it would have this effect on you I would have stayed inside
00:28:31
holy moly yeah you did a great thank you for
00:28:36
supporting us oh that was awesome that was amazing I had one night off of no shows and Bobby was like come by do
00:28:42
tigerbelly I popped in there the it yeah I know it was uh it was afraid it was a bad Prince but the crowd was electric it
00:28:48
was electrical yeah it was good so you did and you did Joe Rogan's Club yeah I did his Club I headlined my own show
00:28:54
sold it out Sunset Strip a lot of backgrounds there it was really exciting the mothership was awesome it's like a
00:28:59
parallel universe to The Comedy Store it feels similar because I haven't been there tell me about it a lot of the same
00:29:04
people that you recognize from the store work there so really it feels like you're in a um
00:29:11
you know what feel you know what it's like it's like a it feels like you're you're okay no I can't do it that's okay
00:29:16
I don't have to do the wig that's okay buddy my head's so itchy yeah it feels like you're at a subsidiary of the comedy star it has the same kind of like
00:29:23
classic Comics comic run the show Vibe oh I see it's run by I feel at home there's what you're saying 100 without a
00:29:30
doubt I'm going back in October oh wow you're moving down there I heard you're moving in with Shane Gillis yeah yeah he's he's got it rid of his New York
00:29:36
apartment we're gonna just like do they have just like nights you can just call in for spots or is that what the deal is
00:29:41
there you anytime you want to go they would love to see you I know but do I call what do I do I call Adam and go hey
00:29:47
just text or call Adam but on the weekends they have headliner shows right yeah but they people drop in all the
00:29:53
time but that's also in the in the fat man the little boy has a bunch of different shows going on that's the second area there's only two rooms yeah
00:29:59
and they're both great oh great they would freak out to see oh Bobby was like they don't nobody wants to see me there oh they would love to see there all the
00:30:05
door guys in town such big fancy I went down there I did six shows I mean there's so many comedy fans it's it's pretty incredible yeah that's great it's
00:30:11
pretty incredible it's great um you okay yeah yeah she looks at what's the matter you look miserable and bored no I just I
00:30:18
do like pooping but I don't think do you have to poop there's a
00:30:24
there's a bat no I don't like pooping in public speaking of which did you see this Delta flight that had to get grounded because the diary
00:30:30
somebody had diarrhea on a Delta flight so bad they had to bring it down right Delta flight does disrupted by Passenger
00:30:37
with diarrhea somebody was spraying [ __ ] in the middle of the aisle on a Delta flight I swear to God can you just go to
00:30:43
the bathroom or what oh the seat belt light was on I think he couldn't hold it look at this look at this look at this all over the middle oh my God imagine he
00:30:51
wasn't wearing pants or I think he just pulled him down because he I think he was spraying shot I think he couldn't
00:30:56
hold it what do you go in your pants if you couldn't no I'd go right in the aisle like that really you would well yeah the way these prices of these
00:31:02
flights now are so absurd the least you can do is let me [ __ ] on the floor what someone someone what and Andrew
00:31:11
yeah you're right he was attempting to do a joke from a Dumb and Dumber reference
00:31:18
um it didn't land well I didn't like it it didn't make anything did you just do Dumb and Dumber on SOS VHS or something
00:31:23
with me and so I think that there needs to be a um boycott I agree so the
00:31:29
boycott is this that was your last straw friend that's it you and I will never do his stupid show again correct well we
00:31:36
already did it once unfortunately we gave him a favor never again give that mic to Carlos aside I want that facing Carlos from now on Carlos yeah yeah face
00:31:43
you there we go I can't have this guy just yabb yabbing into the mic about nothing because Andrew was going to do
00:31:48
gold yeah I could feel it that's his sidekick [Music]
00:31:54
yeah I was feeling gold coming on and then you my friend you [ __ ] put a
00:32:00
[ __ ] damn in the middle well let's give you another chance to do this bad joke what is it go ahead yeah so you say what you were gonna say
00:32:05
no no no I want to hear him do it no you but he had to interrupt you that the timing is impeccable don't worry
00:32:11
he'll interrupt me like he always does so so yeah it was a Delta flight someone was someone did a Dumb and Dumber uh
00:32:18
thing there now I know you're editing this but I
00:32:24
want you to solely punch in on yourself slowly zoom in on how dumb you look right now yeah
00:32:30
thank you he this is a he thought he's my perfect opportunity to do that
00:32:36
why is this inner monologue I don't know yes this is my perfect opportunity to do
00:32:42
my double Tumblr you only get one shot to get one shot here it goes here's my timing someone did the diamond gamer
00:32:50
you can't try to throw a joke when you barely speak I always know it just didn't come out good not at all yeah all
00:32:56
right so you went your high school reunion though I do want to know about this you showed up yeah did they did everyone was everyone excited to see you
00:33:03
yeah and I was excited to see everybody it was a celebration of my teacher who started the sketch comedy group when
00:33:08
we're in high school oh that's cool kind of just let us do whatever we wanted and it was fun I had a lot of memories come
00:33:14
back we used to like say crazy [ __ ] like we'd play this game give me an example okay
00:33:20
well I used to like joke around like uh we were gonna kill ourselves because we knew our teacher would have to file a
00:33:25
bunch of paperwork this is funny so good I love when people threaten to kill themselves that to me grade A comedy but
00:33:32
I talked to him about it and he's like yeah the kids are still doing that that like continues so kids are still
00:33:37
pretending to kill themselves by myself and I like to laugh because a
00:33:42
teacher if they hear that they have to file a bunch of paperwork wait wait the teacher came to your Reunion yeah so it
00:33:49
wasn't like a typical high school reunion it was a celebration for this teacher who started this guy Mr Navarro
00:33:55
yes so it was in the sanctioned reunion right it was at the school though that
00:34:00
was it was at the school how many people showed up look at this 100 I went in my mom's High School yearbook
00:34:06
when I was at home this past week yeah look at me that's you that's me oh that's me and that's my my boy Dave
00:34:13
Walton Mr Buns Mr Buns chilling at North Stadium you were a cool kid huh
00:34:18
uh yeah I was I was cool enough I mean I had a vibe there you're a really cool kid how do I look do I look like I have
00:34:24
a Vibe oh cute you look cute there dude yeah and like family problems yeah I had family problems yeah that's a kid with
00:34:30
family problems yeah so cool and distant by the way I like it says you will usually see them chilling me and Dave
00:34:35
Walton chilling at North Stadium diverse friends support it well yeah bro come on what's up come on baby but look at this
00:34:41
size chilling this is supporting their teammates this means that we weren't playing that day uh we were bench it
00:34:46
looks like I can't tell but it looks like you're muscular maybe I was having always been pretty good in shape what uh
00:34:52
what year do you guys think this is 19. no I mean what year what grade am I
00:34:58
in 70. no this is you're you're in sophomore you're a freshman freshman
00:35:03
sophomore what do you think um say junior just for the sake of it yeah I was a junior that's my junior
00:35:08
year wow cool and I went back in the book and I looked in the back have you [ __ ] them have I [ __ ] him have you
00:35:15
no have you did you [ __ ] before that I had just [ __ ] right before I actually like moments before this that's why I
00:35:20
[ __ ] your friend Dave he was there he's congratulating you yeah he's putting it he was playing
00:35:26
I see but I had just had sex that year right before then but man the amount of gel in that hair was something else
00:35:33
that's all gelled out baby was that the Roman was it the Roman look right yeah a little Roman this is dude this is the
00:35:38
late 90s my dog and your friend how come you've never introduced me to your friend buns
00:35:45
he passed away so thanks yeah it's lucky it's your birthday no
00:35:50
really did he die oh man it's my birthday man
00:35:55
let me have that one I [ __ ] up oh how about this yo what's up buns
00:36:04
yo rest in peace buns my boy buns you're like an urban medium right now this is
00:36:11
good just for you right happy birthday bro you have a good Andrew may he was your homie
00:36:18
no he's alive and well oh good good yeah I'd love to meet him he's the [ __ ] where is he where does he live Atlanta Georgia how come did he come to our show
00:36:25
no he doesn't like Koreans oh [ __ ] he's not a big no why
00:36:31
didn't he come really no not a big fan of Koreans from a neighbor [ __ ] real do you know anything about blacks and
00:36:37
Koreans
00:36:49
no he didn't come to the show but you to still talk to him no we haven't communicated in a long
00:36:55
time why I wish we did I don't know you kind of grew you just grow apart from that weird so I wish we did I was in San
00:37:01
Diego where my friends came yeah but I hadn't seen them in 30 years I know none of those guys and this guy and I were
00:37:06
very very close we I mean him me and his kid Brandon Anderson a bunch of guys from the basketball team but it was wild
00:37:11
were you kind of when you grow up you grow out and just keep going and it's tough that's why the high school reunion thing I never went back to those things
00:37:18
because I felt like I talked to the people that I kind of still knew and I just never have gone back but
00:37:23
think about this I never went that means 30 years from now we could be like that
00:37:30
you're 80. and you're gonna show a photo of your day with a little Asian like half of the face in the photo yeah and
00:37:36
someone's gonna go your nude podcast guy by the way in 30 years I'll be 70. I'm 40. okay and in 30 years you'll be
00:37:45
cryogenically frozen you will be what you'll be cryogenically frozen honest with you'll be able to be dead yeah
00:37:53
so by the time I'm 80 you think I'm dead pretty close yeah but I could still be here you could be of this let's just go
00:38:00
back to the scenario thanks but we in 30 years you might be like oh yeah it was a guy I used to hang out with no we'll
00:38:06
talk to well you and I will talk to each other till we die so you and Dave didn't have that what you and I have well I
00:38:12
knew Dave for a short period of time right I didn't know him for a couple years in high school that's true I know you very well for a long time very long
00:38:17
time that's true and by the way do I love Dave I miss Dave I miss Dave but
00:38:22
you love you're something else I suck your dick oh it's your birthday I love happy birthday I mean should we 69
00:38:28
online for your birthday but I read some of the comments in the back of this book the stuff that we said insane I couldn't
00:38:35
even take a picture and put it on why oh I'm telling you but absurd [ __ ] jokes like just [ __ ] dark weird wild [ __ ]
00:38:43
written in the back of those yearbooks and I only did it once you know we should bring our yearbooks here I'm gonna go back when I'm in Phoenix I'm
00:38:49
gonna grab my yearbook and bring it back and just let's just read some of them I would love to yeah I would love to read it I'd love to see I'd love to see what
00:38:55
uh people wrote to you and your don't overdose on the on the horse this summer
00:39:02
don't OD this summer you think that's what by I mean it's got to be something about drugs yeah yeah I had I had a
00:39:08
weird do you use tune no what the [ __ ] are you doing I didn't I had a weird I'll tell you one this is wild I think I
00:39:15
talked about this on this show we are driving past this guy's house that I used to remember I'm not going to
00:39:21
say his name but I've told you the scenario we used to go there to do drugs because his both of his parents were
00:39:26
deaf and he had a brother with Down Syndrome okay stop stop stop wait stop stop there's too much information have I
00:39:32
talked about this on the show go go back again say it again we I used in high school go to this guy at high school
00:39:38
used to go to this guy's house to do drugs to do drugs because you're so you're in a car yeah you're going to the
00:39:44
guy's house in high school you eat you walk in there's always okay just one line at a time go ahead I'm in and his
00:39:51
dad is probably there and his dad is deaf who so he's basically
00:39:57
is anybody here well no no we knew he was deaf he didn't do that all the time just all days yeah he wasn't just
00:40:03
walking around going anybody here oh he was aware that he was deaf oh so you walk in and he's like baby he
00:40:10
wouldn't really say hi he would kind of just go like this oh okay all right acknowledging all right so it kind of sucks
00:40:17
hello I go what's his name Mr well I'm not gonna say Mr Watson Mr Watson Mr hello Mr Watson and Mrs Watson also deaf
00:40:24
there she is there it is okay and then we would go into his room and sometimes
00:40:30
his brother would be in there who had Down syndrome wait so you would go into Mr Watson's room Mr Watson's son what's
00:40:35
his name Fred Watson Fred Watson so you go to Fred Watson's room you're in Prince Rogers room and they'd be doing whippets or or sniffing something Fred's
00:40:43
like hey chunko chunko yo
00:40:49
idiot chunko sure what's the guy's brother's name Willie Willie that's better Fred and
00:40:56
Willie yeah hey Willy hey bud that's how we sounded that's exactly how he sounded I thought
00:41:01
he had Down syndrome well you do it no you do it no you did but I'm playing
00:41:07
I'm playing the other guy and I'm praying I'm playing Fred so you're Willie you're willing yes you're Willy
00:41:14
no yeah yeah go ahead yeah what okay Willie here's some weed Willie
00:41:21
Willie
00:41:26
by the way Willie didn't do drugs with us he would just hang sometimes near us oh so he's in the corner he was actually so [ __ ] nice and by the way we'd eat
00:41:33
lunch with him a lot of times really good kid very nice but we did we did a lot of drugs in front of him yes it was
00:41:38
a house of of chaos two deaf parents and a kid with Down Syndrome wow and my buddy and our buddy and we could do
00:41:44
whatever we wanted there dude of course wow of course you could well they weren't blind but they were just I
00:41:49
didn't say it's as if the cops came they were like we couldn't hear them smoking like you know right that I don't know
00:41:55
how they could smell they could smell yeah they just let us do whatever the [ __ ] we wanted in there it was he also
00:42:00
taught me I've talked about this I feel like he taught us IP relay his dad let us use IP relay to play pranks do you
00:42:05
know what this is Morgan Morgan McCone our buddy got into a little fender better look at his neck
00:42:11
your neck okay no but you told us you did say you say hey man I got a phantom better I'm not injured but if I was
00:42:16
injured who would you call Morgan and Morgan why would you call them because they're the best they're America's
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number one injury Law Firm they're America's largest injury law firm and guess what little Morgan they have over
00:42:29
a hundred offices Nationwide and more than 800 lawyers little guy if you're ever injured you can check out Morgan
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and Morgan you're not but if you ever do get injured you can submitting a claim is so so simple it's easier than me
00:42:41
looking at Macon and saying you're gonna be okay little guy hey smallfy surprise small fry you're gonna be okay you're
00:42:48
gonna be okay and let me tell you something a lot of people don't know where to turn when they get to an accident McCone called me I got no
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offender better it's not that bad yeah what do I do people don't know what to do or who to turn to Morgan Morgan has
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got you covered if you're ever injured you can check out Morgan and Morgan their fee is free unless they win for
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more information go to forthepeople.com bad friends or dial pound law pound five to nine from your cell phone that's
00:43:09
forthepeople.com that's for the people.com bad friends or Dow pound law pound 5293 myself is a paid
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advertisement for Morgan Morgan Viator do more that's right because I'm going on vacation and Bobby got me a little
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00:44:25
relay is a government provided service for the deaf where what they do is you use a phone with it with it had a
00:44:31
keyboard on it Internet Protocol relay and someone is on the other end receiving these calls and dictating that
00:44:38
just to you right like I'm deaf I call you I type in on an IP relay box what I want the person to say to you and it's
00:44:44
an operator that has to say everything it's a human operator yeah and everything I type it has to say it to
00:44:50
you so the person would say like if I type to Nike real and I was like hey Bobby I can't wait to come lit cream out
00:44:56
of your [ __ ] tonight hey Bobby I can't wait to come and cream out of your [ __ ] tonight and that's what I would
00:45:01
say you would have to say it to the other person on the other all right so she's calling me yeah on the phone yeah so go ahead ring ring hello
00:45:08
hi um I'm the IP relator relay I'm the IP relay it starts my
00:45:14
first day on the job that's okay I apologize yeah anyway um we've got um Mr Gonzalez
00:45:19
um that needs to have he has a message for you
00:45:27
um you have a tan why do you have a tan is it because you're trying to attract boys
00:45:32
no I've just been out in the sun too long and now you repeat
00:45:41
cool and then you charge me fifty dollars that's right and then they would charge
00:45:47
it but we would use this all the time and we would prank call tons of people and places oh that's random no that's fun it was so [ __ ] naughty it was so
00:45:53
mean and then you'd listen to the other person had to say it oh they had to say it's awful they have
00:46:00
to say it it's like when they do the sign language person when we're doing a show they have to they have to do it so I do think that there's no way they
00:46:06
would possibly know we'll have that at one of the shows yeah that was fun are they changing signs like they change words to be more Progressive oh that's
00:46:13
interesting look that up that's interesting it's interesting interesting like updating uh what do you call it
00:46:18
like updated yeah this needs to be changed yeah yeah Asian could be like this like is sign language changing yeah
00:46:24
look at this is it changing over time it must be right today's ASL includes some elements of of lsf plus the original
00:46:30
location sign language over time these have melded and changed into a rich complex mature language but why would
00:46:35
you like let me ask you something yeah why would you change the symbol they change [ __ ] to little person right but
00:46:43
why couldn't it be the same sign language it is it's just Lolo Lolo it's even lower yeah it's way lower oh other
00:46:49
changes attempts to make ASMR inclusive and accurate old sign for Italy included a cross but many Italians are now secular the new sign traces the squiggly
00:46:56
outline of Italy shape the famous boot so instead of just going like this to represent Italy you have to [ __ ]
00:47:02
Trace yeah they made it hard this could have
00:47:08
been Italian yeah or this or this yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
00:47:21
[Laughter]
00:47:27
I guess that's right yeah she's like
00:47:33
dude that's that's not but she said her so fast she knew that was it yeah imagine doing the symbol for all the
00:47:39
[ __ ] like you know Italy is yeah but then what if it's just all the
00:47:44
like what's hungry I mean oh you have to trace the country yeah the whole thing they're not all the tracings like some of them like Spain
00:47:51
for instance you know what Spain is let me guess
00:47:57
do it again Spain oh that's right yeah it's just a
00:48:03
piece of [ __ ] yeah yeah I see what it is oh this is Spain little tiny heart look at that little tiny heart because they
00:48:09
do that span be real will they spend they're conquerors they're bad people yeah this is Spain little heart what's
00:48:15
Korea in in uh in sign language God I'm loving that we're learning this this is great for the people listening
00:48:21
to the podcast yeah oh look at this you they want to go to the Asian with Down Syndrome all right Asian down right wow
00:48:29
well I think the the first one was this yeah that's Chinese and then somebody went lower and then he went down
00:48:36
they went down to here right but we know what he means we know what he's pointing at the eye now what is it
00:48:41
for Japanese I really hope Japan is is the superior what is it if it's higher
00:48:47
that'd be great oh no it's something cool yeah let's go it's this they're so
00:48:52
sweet yeah because they always use hand they're always about that's why it's this this is Chip Japan no together they're separate this is it right here
00:48:58
how is a no it's this oh it's a heart it's a it's a it's a sideways heart it
00:49:05
is kind of [ __ ] wild we do I'm glad that we have these people at our show I think America should be this
00:49:10
this is America yeah this is America right that'd be cool America and this is Canada yeah
00:49:17
right Mexico go ahead
00:49:23
North America yeah that would be cool yeah that's good
00:49:29
yeah what's France France probably this yeah yeah and this is England
00:49:34
[Laughter]
00:49:40
yeah yeah oh my God yeah that's really good
00:49:45
yeah we're having fun that's fun that's fine what do you
00:49:51
really want for your birthday do you want us to give you your gifts I think it's gift time could I just can I tell
00:49:57
you what I want yeah and I can go I can I'll text you the company but there's this this Pocket
00:50:04
[ __ ] that I have yeah it keeps breaking oh and I bought two of them already and I guess it's not waterproof you want us
00:50:10
to go to YouTube there's a one kind that I really like what's it called I forgot that's why I want to text it to you
00:50:16
you'll text it and I'll buy it for you how much is it though couple hundred dollars oh kiddo you know
00:50:21
I will that's so funny Tom Segura and Bert give each other cars and jet skis and I'm gonna give you a pocket [ __ ]
00:50:26
nice well let's get your gifts do you have a gift uh fancy
00:50:32
interesting I'm not fancy come on I don't think you'd deserve anything whoa fancy told us all to get gifts and
00:50:39
didn't get him himself okay wow let that slide no no no no no no no no because you'll see what I get you for your
00:50:45
birthday when is your birthday are you ready yeah we already passed it
00:50:50
when was it though he's gonna have another one was it when was your birthday in March Yeah March
00:50:56
yeah and I'll get you one in March hold on and then you're gonna look like a fool if you're around that long
00:51:02
him yeah yeah you might be fine you're gonna look like a fool all right McCone come give him your life you know he's itching to come be back on camera he's
00:51:08
been relegated to the bowels of the show but he got you something really [ __ ] good I was with him
00:51:16
that's just a bag no no I like it already the T-shirt but look what kind of t-shirt it is
00:51:23
wow buddy show the audience kiddo only foe
00:51:32
mccone's asking if you like he's the only fans but it's funny it's funny wait you didn't get him the other shirt yeah
00:51:39
what are you [ __ ] doing give him the real one that was funny that was a really good one that was his bit
00:51:44
this you're gonna [ __ ] love he already knows he loves it look at that
00:51:49
show it to the crowd Star Trek Deep Space Nine Commander so that's this is
00:51:55
let me say something you thought about it you pondered you articulated you
00:52:01
registered and I appreciate that oh and what is he out of ten
00:52:07
four [Laughter] I'll give it a seven all right jet ski
00:52:15
what do you got okay I got in a lot of trouble last time I got Bobby a gift if you guys remember I do um I think the
00:52:20
words you gave me were never buy me anything again that is pretty close no you gave me the cologne yeah so I got
00:52:26
you something but I didn't spend any money on it but I think it's worth a lot more than money can buy okay
00:52:32
by the way we should tell that story about your cologne in Philly outside of the hotel
00:52:40
read it read it read it let me tell the story in the meantime where the valet is going to make us move oh my God we got
00:52:45
to get out of the way Bobby's I had like a fool Bobby's full uh I'm sitting on
00:52:52
one of those rollers that's right a luggage cart and he goes excuse me young
00:52:57
man well that was nice yeah I need you to move he's like can you play can I please he was so nervous he was very
00:53:04
polite oh yeah well he was nervous I guess he wasn't he was polite and he asked you could you please move off of that yeah and then I got up and I was
00:53:11
wearing my little duffel bag thing you know the shoulder strap called a fact okay I was running my fan back sure and
00:53:18
I had my lulabo santel 33 cologne and it was and it spilled out
00:53:24
and it crashed on the ground shattered shattered cloned all over the place brand new bottle brand new bottle we get
00:53:31
in the car and Bobby is furious that's a 300 bottle of clay yeah live it was screaming and then you got me another
00:53:37
one and then we went to New York and I saw the place was 10 minute walking from my hotel so I got it for him as a thank
00:53:43
you gift from the tour they spent 300 and some odd dollars thank you so much and I am B I use it now yeah but you
00:53:49
were so mad I'm gonna read this okay okay let's read it hey do you have a lighter yeah it's not a giant
00:53:57
you want to read it first I think you're really gonna like how funny if I just lit on fire though I think you'd regret
00:54:02
it when you read what it is a double dog dare you I'll tell you what it is honestly don't burn it no but if you
00:54:09
want a double dog it's a selfless gift so I'd rather you not have Triple Dog no
00:54:14
don't do it this is really sweet it's really sweet let's see I think it's gonna be sentimental okay I think I
00:54:22
honestly here's what I think it is I think it's an appreciation for all the
00:54:27
things I've done for you yeah it's sentimental yeah it's gonna hit the heart yeah and it's gonna stay with me
00:54:33
for the rest of my life I agree if it's not that we're gonna have issues yeah you're gonna be pretty happy great so here we
00:54:40
go here we go temporary restraining order hmm
00:54:47
for you to use on me plaintiff Bobby Lee
00:54:52
hey plaintiff has filed an undertaking as required by code Civ proc 515. oh 15.
00:54:59
jargon no no it's true 15. okay plaintiff has established the probability of slight annoyance so cute
00:55:06
it is ordered defend it Jesse Jet Ski juicy Johnson is restrained from doing the following looking at Bobby standing
00:55:13
near or going for a hog near Bobby contacting Bobby via phone or social media for eight hours whoa must be
00:55:19
consecutive consecutive eight hours eight hours okay plaintiff Maybe
00:55:25
you know honestly I have to sign it when you want to when you want to use it then you sign it honestly I want to frame
00:55:30
this can I have it let me see yeah but please don't tear it why would I don't know I'm not gonna do that that's what she did put one of those hammers next to
00:55:36
it because I know there will be a time where yeah we need to put this in glass but make it breakable glass yeah that's
00:55:42
really so nice you know what that you know can I say something good handwriting that was thoughtful
00:55:48
precise yeah ingenious clever and it was it hit my heart I really appreciate it
00:55:55
Rudy you're up go ahead wait where he is gonna rate the gifts though oh yeah rate it nine oh wow
00:56:03
that's a nine wow okay kind of nervous to give mine okay mine yeah
00:56:10
okay I'm gonna explain yeah please I've been cleaning your house
00:56:17
that you
00:56:23
that you like to like stay there and be like chill and so I thought I would buy
00:56:30
you this okay guy loves bath salts [Laughter] yeah don't say anything mean yet
00:56:38
wow Ultra is a good this company is whatever
00:56:45
let's I'm gonna stick my finger in it
00:56:51
oh what is it bud I'm lemon mask [ __ ] oh it's a face mask a lemon face mask love
00:56:58
those four I know I want to pull them out individually I'm Pearl face mask another face mask
00:57:05
okay yeah this is good really good really good now can you do brown and blackface if you have face masks on is
00:57:11
that okay because those are brown yeah you're not gonna be able to see yeah they have a mask
00:57:19
changing you magic foot peeling shoes what does this do you put it on your
00:57:25
on your you just stay stick it there but what does it do the dry skin yeah a dead
00:57:31
skin Oh this is gonna be great yeah thank you we do think you need that yeah I'm just gonna pull them all out
00:57:38
another mask sheet another mask a mask face be juicy skin mhm Corgi face mask nice
00:57:46
and this is another mask shade a lot of masks yeah a lot of math did they do a deal was it like ten for five
00:57:53
well that's really good um I really appreciate it um a little lazy rank rank ranks rank a
00:58:01
little amazing because it's it's like you went to one Place Alta I know you went to one place
00:58:09
rank it baby a six oh okay there we go six okay who's
00:58:15
next I got you something it's it's honestly and it's parked outside it's not it's not that good
00:58:23
laughs it's not that good but it is it is fun
00:58:33
wow dude [ __ ] dope dude is that sick
00:58:39
[ __ ] sick whoa isn't that sick well first of all you know that I like designer toys
00:58:45
yeah and plush toys by the way that's that's from Japan that thing is so [ __ ] amazing
00:58:52
dude I feel pretty good right now can I see something yeah you want your ranking yeah
00:59:08
I'm not gonna talk about it was it in your house no that was not in my house okay no did your wife order it
00:59:14
no no no no this was all me dope ass [ __ ] thanks dope as [ __ ] thank you happy
00:59:19
birthday to you the candle went out of a [ __ ] lighting again light it again but McCone [ __ ] God wait a minute wait
00:59:27
wait can I just also say this but before you do all right I want to say this
00:59:32
isn't something you get at like Safeway no this is something that was ordered
00:59:38
this is a little pricier that's right high end that's right and this right there is a 10. this is I've never gotten
00:59:46
a high class cake before well from you guys hate to break it to you fancy got
00:59:51
that so that's a 10 for fancy he got the ten wow let me see this [ __ ] thing man
00:59:57
oh it's got the oh my God it's got all this I gotta take a photo of it take a photo kiddo
01:00:04
yeah I like the candle baby where's my phone at it's underneath all that stuff I think
01:00:16
oh Bobby
01:00:22
oh my god it worked dad I come to Andrew body I know Dad Dad Dad
01:00:30
what oh why all these guys are you gay no no I'm
01:00:36
not kidding I kill you if you okay he just looks gay dad that's but the kids you don't know the last couple wait wait
01:00:42
wait the kids look like this now the Village People no he's not a feeling you look like I know that does he look sick
01:00:49
sickly yeah sickly yeah yeah like he has that thing huh I miss you I miss you Dad
01:00:55
oh that's all whoa whoa what the [ __ ] I feel like I just got light-headed yeah
01:01:00
my dad just came through uh can I eat some of this yeah of course
01:01:06
honestly guys thank you so honestly you didn't get me you got me the cake because that'll meet the whole [ __ ] thing just give him a fork and start
01:01:11
eating it I don't even I don't want any do you guys want any cake no oh is that good
01:01:16
okay kiddo that's next level now pretend like you're on a cooking show and tell us what what the notes and the hints of
01:01:22
flavors that you're getting give it to me well you know usually in a cake you
01:01:28
think you expect breading no no you like the a cake like texture not
01:01:36
breading I know I know do you mean spongy and Squishy not even yeah you like but more drier
01:01:43
but spongy sponge dry sponge dry sponge right like a flourless chocolate cake yeah and
01:01:49
it's also my cooking show so don't I'm so sorry I will put that part out yeah sorry about that so ask me again now cut
01:01:55
go ahead all right here we go yeah leave it in welcome back to Bobby's birthday where
01:02:00
we're reviewing Bobby's birthday cake yeah what are the notes and flavors you're experiencing Bob it's a bread
01:02:07
it's very good you know it's dry and spongy but that's not what I have what
01:02:14
do you have when you go in here it's like a pudding it tastes like tapioca pudding do we
01:02:21
leave it out too long it's unbelievable it's very good huh
01:02:26
if I tell you how much that costs You're Gonna Lose Your Mind how much was this take a [ __ ] guess
01:02:32
a hundred dollars you wish 50. you less or a bit higher
01:02:41
eight 1995 ten dollars five dollars we got it from Ralph it was
01:02:47
on the is on the Everything Must Go wreck it was literally 5.99 there's no way 5.99 there's no way there's a Moscow
01:02:53
rack literally no way it got cooked three days ago for a guy no here's what happened this guy this guy came in to
01:03:00
ask for a birthday cake and then he found out it was a gay birthday so he wouldn't sell it to him because I'll tell you why
01:03:05
I'll tell you why you're wrong no it's an expensive cake it's it's you know what it is now and you're gonna love this you know why why it's it's tapioca
01:03:13
you know the rice get her fork the rice pudding yeah go ahead and take a bite the rice pudding get up there you fat
01:03:18
ass give that little fatty A Little Piece up there fat ass by the way you are
01:03:24
gaining a lot of weight you do look heavy you look Hefty you look Hefty Hefty hippo and you also have like a
01:03:29
Jody Fox and Foster walk yeah you do are you lazy now yeah you do kind of look heavy you kind of
01:03:35
look like I'm gonna we'll play softball you kind of look like one of John Wayne's horses yeah the rhino rhino kind yeah do you
01:03:42
want something have you seen the bear yes yes yes chef say that every time you take take a bite and then yell yeah Chef
01:03:48
okay mouthful there it is
01:03:55
very good can I make you a little bit jealous right now what I forgot to bring this up on my flight back home to Chicago oh
01:04:02
well I got on a flight and I noticed a man a man that you I think you like very
01:04:08
much then he sat right behind me and it's a Chicago
01:04:13
some questions sure he's not from Chicago I know because what's so funny I just like the way you
01:04:18
asked that what what why because you knew what it was going to be well no because he you always just want to guess the thing before it's just of course he
01:04:25
does and I think it's Charming yeah I just think that it's good for the podcast too it is
01:04:31
yeah yeah um so this man we're going to Chicago is it a sports figure no
01:04:38
is it uh um an actor or an actress no does it have to do with entertainment
01:04:44
yes okay is it a something that you know personally no although I do although I do now whoa no
01:04:52
no we don't we don't uh you need to say hi we did we chatted a lot oh but did you say did he know who you were
01:04:58
uh no is either over the age of 60.
01:05:03
no he's probably your age you're probably the same age in fact I bet you're you're
01:05:09
the same age yep he's a year off does he have to do with music okay good now we're getting somewhere is
01:05:17
in a band he's in the band is he the lead singer he is the band
01:05:23
he's so he goes up his name is the band he's the band okay is it
01:05:29
rock and roll it's it's a it is a Crossing Multiverse
01:05:34
of Music he does so much I don't know who this is then okay let me see he's the band his name
01:05:40
is the band how many guys do you know he's a Multiverse he's touched a lot of bases in his extremely long and
01:05:46
beautiful career so he plays Bass no he does not okay but that's good
01:05:53
okay what is genre what decade genre is it 80s
01:05:59
no it's 90s and now and still 90s and still 90s and still
01:06:05
do you do okay you guess does it start with a B it does okay no bonjon Jovi who was Jon Bon Jovi's
01:06:14
brother no no no it starts with a boniver bonifer
01:06:24
no four letters jet ski nose or letters it starts with a V Jets game
01:06:31
no but that's obviously a good guess but that's you two and they didn't cross a lot of Multiverse I think they were pretty stuck in one B I'm jealous my
01:06:39
favorite he's your favorite yeah if it's but if it's not who I'm thinking that starts with a b and it's four
01:06:46
letters you got it I got it right here people at home literally are yelling at their computers and their phones
01:06:53
that's her cat this this gentleman has made I don't
01:07:06
know behind me on the plane that's insane and by the way yeah the two the two tour managers that are with us that
01:07:12
are with him one of them was [ __ ] morrissey's tour manager how rad was
01:07:17
that talking to that [ __ ] wow wow but I talked to these guys and then Beck was like chilling super cool nice we chatted
01:07:24
a bunch uh we talked about the podcast he knows about bad friends I I think uh
01:07:29
maybe a little maybe French he's like can you give me a shout out yeah well [ __ ] shout out back and then but he
01:07:34
doesn't know that I've met him before really back when did you meet him I dated a woman yeah
01:07:42
for almost a year I met her so I so Martin Lawrence used to do these shows in the main room and
01:07:48
he would just go throw any I don't care who's going opening so the store would always just put me up before him and um
01:07:55
she was at the show and met her we started dating and she
01:08:00
lived in a big actor's house whoa and she was the nanny of his kid
01:08:07
okay Giovanni Ribisi yeah I guess it right yeah yeah and so I
01:08:15
what's so funny I was thinking about someone earlier so
01:08:21
I would be because she lived downstairs I'd be downstairs and I go how come you don't that's Giovanni can you see his
01:08:26
little feet little tiny feet when you hear him so one morning she went to go
01:08:31
somewhere I'm I wake up and um I went upstairs
01:08:37
and all these people were there and one of them was back and did you
01:08:42
talk to back yeah I said hi I'm Bobby I'm dating so-and-so what did he say he's like hey how are you I remember
01:08:48
there was a buffet table of course you remember that part
01:08:53
I just remember like this is like over 20 years ago did he have a devil's haircut
01:09:00
yeah he did and um was he a [ __ ] loser no dude
01:09:06
that's funny you're doing references yeah he went orderly [Laughter]
01:09:13
he was let me say this he was nice then though dude he's so nice it was so cool we chatted all a bunch and they of
01:09:20
course were polite enough to go hey you want to come to the [ __ ] show tomorrow whoa come backstage in
01:09:25
Northerly Island is where they played in Chicago it's a little did you go how awful is this I go it's tomorrow and
01:09:32
they're like yeah tomorrow night it's my wife's birthday
01:09:38
does she like big and she turned to me and she was like we we can go if you want to go oh no no
01:09:44
no no no no no no no no no she's no well dude we had a whole thing planned for her birthday we had all this
01:09:51
[ __ ] planned and it was like what am I gonna do tell my [ __ ] parents hey guys we're gonna bail on all the [ __ ] we
01:09:57
[ __ ] planned because we want to go to back yeah but 20 years from now when I wanted a divorce that's going to be a
01:10:02
part of this yeah 100 that's I'm gonna say your honor yeah we couldn't go to [ __ ] bet cause the [ __ ] happened oh Dice Clay is my lawyer did
01:10:09
you but I'll be honest with you right I was [ __ ] bummed if honestly we found
01:10:14
Taylor Swift it was Taylor Swift and she said to your wife somehow I got on Taylor Swift's
01:10:20
private plane give me someone more reasonable she's not gonna fly in a commercial [ __ ] Airline Taylor Swift
01:10:26
is sitting in 14. oh [ __ ] all right it's um Adele again
01:10:32
another Miss um you think a Dell flies commercial I know Rihanna
01:10:38
man you're not good at this
01:10:45
Selena Gomez yeah Melina Gomez her sister yeah yeah Selena
01:10:51
Gomez give me a rock star from the 90s Alanis Morissette great perfect she's
01:10:57
definitely flying commercial why can't she be on a private plane that's rude no I just think they don't she doesn't is
01:11:02
that rude no no because somebody good songs I'm just saying Sarah Mclaughlin she's definitely not on a private job
01:11:09
all right so it's Sarah McLaughlin Sarah Mclaughlin right by the way all these people could be on private but they
01:11:14
wouldn't it's a waste of money all right but if you're Rihanna you're not going to [ __ ] lax go ahead anyway Sarah Mclaughlin
01:11:21
love it angels
01:11:32
all right let me down let me down is that the next words let me down I don't
01:11:37
know we stopped at the time that I didn't know anyone more words I ran out yeah yeah anyway so she's sitting behind
01:11:43
me right and she looks at your wife and goes hey I'm doing a show all right it's your birthday my birthday
01:11:50
it's your birthday yeah but she says to your wife I'm doing a show tomorrow night get you backstage great seats come
01:11:57
and your wife said to you she goes who the [ __ ] is that [ __ ] right she doesn't like her I don't know if she likes her
01:12:02
okay no no I'm kidding what does your wife like cheese okay so cheese cheese
01:12:11
a big block of cheddar all right a big block no I don't know Gorgonzola she likes Brie she likes Breeze there's a
01:12:17
melting breed yeah jeez look at ombre yeah all right I'm playing I'm doing a
01:12:24
tree show tomorrow night yeah and guess who's next to Bree cracker me yeah
01:12:29
there's a cracker next debris we're doing a show tomorrow night at Navy Pier Downtown Chicago uh you should go yeah I
01:12:36
don't know anything I'm free I'm a cracker yeah anyway right so then yeah and then like there's an assistant who's
01:12:42
fruit yeah right so we can get you guys backstage
01:12:48
right so fruit's there right and whatever you guys want all access passes right and it's like salami yeah
01:12:56
yeah security guards yeah security that's allow me yeah we're good don't worry about it whatever you guys need
01:13:01
it's a whole security place it's a charcuterie play yeah so anyway and they and they're throwing a bash right on my
01:13:08
birthday right you and your wife goes can we go would you go absolutely we're going see
01:13:15
then that's what she didn't do that I know that you need to call her and tell her this kind of [ __ ] stuff can I call her no call her right now and tell
01:13:22
her she'll be so [ __ ] mad you'll be mad yeah yeah I'm blow it up for [ __ ] you're one year older yeah
01:13:28
and I appreciate you being here and I'm happy that you're alive happy to be here and I want to say
01:13:34
thank you for being a bad friend oh that's good [Music]
01:13:52
foreign [Music]

Badges

This episode stands out for the following:

  • 70
    Funniest
  • 70
    Best performance
  • 65
    Best overall
  • 60
    Most quotable

Episode Highlights

  • International Tour Announcement
    Exciting news about potential international tour dates!
    “We're all might be going International, my friends!”
    @ 00m 31s
    September 18, 2023
  • Birthday Celebration
    The crew celebrates a birthday with costumes and laughter.
    “It's my birthday, holy moly!”
    @ 03m 11s
    September 18, 2023
  • John Wayne's Controversial Remarks
    Discussion about John Wayne's past racist comments and their implications today.
    “I believe in white supremacy until the blacks are educated...”
    @ 15m 55s
    September 18, 2023
  • The Importance of Fathers
    Discussing the significance of a father figure in Hollywood, comparing him to Brad Pitt.
    “He was basically Brad Pitt back then.”
    @ 22m 52s
    September 18, 2023
  • Acupuncture Experience
    A humorous recount of an acupuncture session and its effects.
    “I love acupuncture!”
    @ 24m 01s
    September 18, 2023
  • High School Reunion Revelations
    A nostalgic look back at a high school reunion and the memories it stirred.
    “It was a celebration of my teacher who started the sketch comedy group.”
    @ 33m 03s
    September 18, 2023
  • Travel with Viator
    Discover over 300,000 bookable travel experiences in 190 countries. 'Do more with Viator!'
    “Do more with Viator!”
    @ 44m 19s
    September 18, 2023
  • IP Relay Service Explained
    A humorous take on how an IP relay service works for the deaf. 'It was so naughty!'
    “It was so naughty!”
    @ 45m 53s
    September 18, 2023
  • Bobby's Birthday Gifts
    A series of funny and heartfelt gift exchanges among friends. 'That's a nine!'
    “That's a nine!”
    @ 56m 03s
    September 18, 2023
  • A Birthday Dilemma
    A tough choice between a concert and a planned birthday celebration.
    “What am I gonna do tell my parents...”
    @ 01h 09m 51s
    September 18, 2023
  • Unexpected Celebrity Encounter
    A surprise backstage invitation from a famous singer on a birthday.
    “I'm doing a show tomorrow night, get you backstage!”
    @ 01h 11m 50s
    September 18, 2023

Episode Quotes

Key Moments

  • Village People Talk06:51
  • Hollywood Stars22:52
  • High School Reunion33:03
  • Travel Adventures43:27
  • Gift Exchange49:51
  • Birthday Celebration56:03
  • Celebrity Encounter1:07:24
  • Birthday Plans1:09:38

Words per Minute Over Time

Vibes Breakdown

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