Search Captions & Ask AI

Spider Person & The Marvel DC Crossover | Ep 119 ft. Yannis Pappas | Bad Friends

June 06, 2022 / 01:13:50

This episode covers the upcoming live stream event for the podcast, personal anecdotes from the hosts, and discussions about various topics including movies and cultural issues. The guests include Andrew Santino, Bobby Lee, and Giannis Pappas.

Andrew Santino announces the live stream event scheduled for June 28th at 6 PM PST, encouraging listeners to buy tickets at momenthouse.com. He shares his upcoming shows in New Jersey and Niagara Falls.

The conversation shifts to humorous exchanges about eating habits and personal quirks, with Bobby Lee and Giannis Pappas sharing funny stories about their experiences together.

They discuss the movie "Everything Everywhere All at Once," with Bobby expressing his admiration for the film and its themes. The discussion touches on the representation of Asian culture in cinema.

As the episode progresses, they delve into various cultural discussions, including the complexities of identity and societal issues, while maintaining a comedic tone throughout.

TL;DR

The episode features a live stream announcement, personal stories, and discussions about movies and cultural identity.

Episode

1:13:50
00:00:00
you guys you guys bad friends is finally going to do the best live stream the best live stream show ever been done you
00:00:06
think that trash tuesday had a good one you did that [ __ ] bird you had a good one you thought you think that's sagura in the house house stay they
00:00:13
stink man we're doing when is it bobby when is it it's going to be tuesday june 28th at 6 00 pm pst
00:00:22
tuesday june 28th 6 p.m pacific time get get your tickets at
00:00:27
momenthouse.com bad friends there is an early bird special for the first 48 hours so get your tickets right now at
00:00:34
momenthouse.com friends we have so many surprises we can't say what they are we have a bunch
00:00:40
of stuff planned and someone's gonna be on the show that you've never seen before get your tickets right now early
00:00:45
bird special momenthouse.com bad friends what up bad friends i'm at this [ __ ]
00:00:51
hawaii but i'll be in new jersey this weekend and niagara falls andrew santino.com
00:00:58
andrew santino.com be a bad friend come see your boy jersey niagara new york let's go you two are
00:01:05
bad friends who are these two idiots why dude i'm an asian dude
00:01:10
you [Music] or something we're bad friends
00:01:16
rudy jules hi what's it like to eat with this guy what does it feel like to watch him eat food
00:01:22
all you hear is like a pig yeah oh yeah yeah yeah you had food on your face when
00:01:27
i came in it was like in your mustache never leave you you know janna's so funny that i you know i felt like i bent over backwards for you for this dude and
00:01:34
then you attacked me i know yeah by bending over backwards you mean having me come here at midnight
00:01:40
i really appreciate the accommodation yeah you like you available at 11 11 30 11 45. how about three in the morning
00:01:46
you know what this coward did he caught he called me and literally go or i called him because fancy was like andrew he can't do the podcast
00:01:53
he's gonna be i mean that and i was like oh my god are we gonna have to reschedule this thing and this guy could literally i call him and i go what's the deal and he goes well
00:01:59
i could i still do do it at midnight but but but well you see and then and then he goes
00:02:05
will you call will you call you honest i go you call daddy you're the one changing the tires right you call him okay
00:02:11
um see but carl carlos said andreas did you did you remember we talked about
00:02:17
the la lax yeah this is the guy that's the guy at lax oh my god did he kill himself no he was he was sleeping and
00:02:23
that was right when we were landing oh and it shut down that's you yeah wait did he jump no he didn't jump he was
00:02:30
just sleeping either do it or don't do it dude come on i like that that's emo you should you shouldn't have
00:02:42
you shouldn't have to donate like police resources to that just like go like all right do it or not yeah you haven't done
00:02:47
anything it's like when you when chris hansen comes over he's like you arrested me i haven't done anything
00:02:52
all right what's all the [ __ ] well let me ask you about chris hansen how much do you like pizza with young people
00:02:59
the way he broaches the questions are always so funny it and they catch it's like why it's i've seen a few where the
00:03:05
guys don't even lie yeah where he's like you got me you know you know why i'm here and he's like i sure do you guys
00:03:11
got me girl but is there a chance that one guy is just it's just just once he doesn't no
00:03:17
he really wanted to be their friend he was like you know no i saw her online and she was lost and i just wanted to be
00:03:23
your friend that's why i came over there there's got to be one guy they always try that and then he pulls out the transcript yeah and you see their face
00:03:30
change text messages are insane they're like i didn't know you had that yes it says here i want to [ __ ] your kitty cat
00:03:36
young [ __ ] is that you yeah yeah are you uh yeah are you hulk dude
00:03:41
27 yeah do you ever see that um oh there's an old like synagogue orthodox jewish man
00:03:49
careful yeah why i can't say that oh boy you're stepping on something yes and he sees the camera comes out and you
00:03:56
could see his whole life flash before his eyes no please don't please yes please don't
00:04:02
because yeah yeah you know i mean i have a business and i you know i mean people at church please you know i mean it was such so you watch some you watch them
00:04:09
crumble i it is it's fun to watch people crumble you know television it was a show called um to catch a prank catch a
00:04:15
predator yeah and they would set up these sting operations where they would get um find pedos and this is the guy he's like
00:04:22
hi i'm chris hanson and he kind of talked very slow you know what's so funny i never understood the title to
00:04:27
catch a predator just what about catching predators catching a predator yeah yeah it was so formal it's like an
00:04:34
answer in jeopardy yeah there's a there's a bunch of like uh these shows now that are on youtube that are like
00:04:39
imitation shows they got it's the group the guy the renegade group yeah this one
00:04:44
with the community there's like a group of renegade guys that do this uh there's there well there's a non-profit that they run that
00:04:50
does this independently without the help of the police and what they do is then they compile us information they bust them locally somewhere and then they try
00:04:56
to get the police to go there i don't know what the name would be of this there's a few of them one one of them my old producer when i first started doing
00:05:03
long days he was a cameraman for it and it's this guy in jersey and he catches these guys and none of them speak
00:05:08
english they're like mexican guys that live in jerusalem yeah i'm sorry my god
00:05:16
easy dude and he makes them call their wives and tell him oh that's good
00:05:21
that's wild but you know what they're in spanish so you don't know what they're saying
00:05:26
because i'm going to the store i'll be home in 15 minutes i have a question yeah yeah i it's it's terrible to do
00:05:32
to [ __ ] it yeah yeah yeah yeah terrible right it's can i just say that out loud yeah it's [ __ ] terrible right yeah
00:05:39
but it's like you know what it's like is there a button
00:05:44
there should be no butt after that statement i know there's no qualifiers i know but um
00:05:50
i'm just saying if i had a daughter right i don't think that she would be coerced into a situation like that she'd
00:05:56
be smart yeah well that's our time thank you guys so much for coming i like how you i like how you come over
00:06:03
you you you think you're the pinnacle of like well-to-do knowledge street
00:06:08
knowledge that you it would transfer to your youth and they would never put themselves in a harmful situation oh no
00:06:13
bro and that's offensive what you're just saying yeah what you're saying to me is you're an idiot no that's very offensive what you're saying
00:06:19
it's a fact i'll tell you what they were the offenses the defense is that you think
00:06:25
that i'm gonna bring any of my garbage into parenting yes no i'm changing my [ __ ] bro oh
00:06:31
really yeah i'm waking up at eight [ __ ] i'm getting the formula a.d there's one reason you're waking up but you got to
00:06:37
feed them i think if you had a baby your baby would think like breakfast was at 4pm
00:06:43
her friends would be like i'm having breakfast like what you're eating at night yeah my daddy's nighttime yeah yeah we
00:06:49
play you know what instead of playing stardew valley we do a co-op farm that's cute that's cute right do a little sim
00:06:55
city together city town farm right but i'm not going to bring any of my garbage into the [ __ ] paris ironically we
00:07:00
have a child of yours here in the studio right now what's it like what's it like being raised by bobby um you met i met him
00:07:08
four times that's another thing is you'd have to be present to raise the kid you're on the road yeah we don't really talk i don't talk to bobby like yeah in
00:07:15
the house he just goes it's so [ __ ] up
00:07:21
you don't want to eat and play you look like a [ __ ] sorry
00:07:27
we don't the bad tempurpedic
00:07:33
[Music]
00:07:42
you oh so you're she's like you don't talk so you're gonna die what you're saying to me okay
00:07:48
you know what that i'm glad you said that because tomorrow we're gonna have a talk fest
00:07:54
yeah you and i are gonna sit across from the kitchen table and we're going to do a four-hour session boy are you gonna regret that whole [ __ ] thing all
00:08:00
right you're not gonna do that oh i am gonna do that okay oh yeah really you know your attitude is [ __ ]
00:08:09
okay side note couple of great things i want to talk to you about cried in the movie theater not kidding
00:08:15
for a full 10 minutes with what movie because it's the greatest film that should win multiple oscars and it's in
00:08:20
theaters right now doctor strange everything everywhere all at once
00:08:27
i heard it's great is unequivoc have you seen no my dog i'm not kidding when i say this it's the greatest movie i've
00:08:34
seen in your creative beautiful it's it's a [ __ ] spectacle and whoa
00:08:39
whoa whoa you didn't tell me it was an asian movie you can i talk about this michelle yeah she happens to be asian
00:08:46
jamie lee curtis is in it oh okay then i'll watch no no but they're but they're mixed things no no there is it's mostly it's mostly asians yeah is it trend in
00:08:53
asian language no hey [ __ ] face michelle yao speaks english okay okay no no but yeah
00:08:59
the first half is in chinese so you gotta read subtitles you gotta read subtitles all right and all this it's in chinese
00:09:05
in the first and all the subtitles say like uh obey china obey china like over and over that's crazy crazy yeah right
00:09:13
but i'll say but what i do want to say about this movie genuinely from bottom of my heart yeah she is so [ __ ] talented to a level
00:09:20
that is it will break your soul i tried my parents our parents are in a different generation i was trying to explain this
00:09:26
because look what you're seeing there is in another dimension there's a lot of metaphysical transformation in this that
00:09:32
deals with the real world and also this dimension interdimensional world of like who you are in other lifetimes but it's
00:09:38
representing the problems that they're dealing with in our current life and the the the whimsy again in films you're
00:09:44
like this is what weirdo movies used to be like where they did crazy [ __ ] and you were like oh sounds like some art
00:09:51
house [ __ ] to me i want to see some [ __ ] explosions you're going to see this super girl you and i
00:09:56
are guys yeah yeah you schwarzenegger in there yes you guys are definitely both predators that's for sure yeah hi i'm
00:10:02
chris hanson yeah um can i talk to you so they stole it from the multiverse thing that marvel was doing
00:10:07
okay wait let me ask you that it's fine i'm out here trying to support asians it's fine [Applause]
00:10:15
isn't it asian month isn't this is aapi month or it's ap plus or it's c plus plus
00:10:21
whichever math okay dude no asian american pacific islander may 1st to may 31st it is the [ __ ] month of your
00:10:27
people and here you are [ __ ] me off on an asian casted film
00:10:32
[ __ ] you you [ __ ] [ __ ] korean you're a [ __ ] korean self-hating korean you really are piece of [ __ ] i really want
00:10:38
to watch it yeah you should because you know what let me say to my camera i love asians they are i have my heart grows thicker
00:10:46
as i've done this podcast with all my asian people and uh bobby has diverted
00:10:51
away from becoming uh whole with the community so except me remove him he's not an uncle tom he's an uncle pentaten
00:11:00
you're an uncle tang and you know it yeah um listen here uncle walsh that's just like asian appreciation month
00:11:06
whatever for nobody to know about it because asians are very demure they don't make a lot of but stop asian hate
00:11:12
was they were loud about that one who did that was that the whites that was the whites that did yeah the asians did it it would have been a lot could you
00:11:17
think we could do a stop white hate yeah let's start it now yeah just my question was stop addies and hit why didn't they just use their
00:11:23
karate you know what they did they as you take
00:11:28
that off and have the most asian hair behind your head yeah it looks like you were karate slippers
00:11:34
with that hair it was funny how black lives matter was a big campaign
00:11:40
that was moving heavily yeah and out of nowhere stop asian hatred what about me
00:11:45
snuck in like a ninja in the middle of the night get out of here blm yeah but you know
00:11:51
what we want everyone to be treated equally including rudy's including people from the islands let me
00:11:58
ask you giannis you know growing up did you hook up with asian girls um it's a big no
00:12:04
yeah i paused i have i have hooked up with a few yes full or half um a couple
00:12:10
of full what kind uh short what kind of yeah yeah what kind of
00:12:15
asians oh i didn't i didn't you don't get that far i didn't get that far yeah yeah yeah do you remember a last name we
00:12:21
can blanket because we can figure out what the last name or the first name because he's yeah i'm pretty good at it he's pretty good it was either a chan or
00:12:26
a chow or yeah chinese chinese yeah chinese yeah yeah yeah and why didn't it work out um
00:12:32
you know different cultures you know yeah you know what yeah why don't you say we were in different we were in different churches that sideways vagina
00:12:38
[ __ ] you up every time yeah that does and we were in different tracks in school i had to go to the slow cl and
00:12:44
she went to like the special she was you know spec i was in the special i was in the low track
00:12:50
and she was in the all asian track right were you held back in school for real i was stupid i wasn't a asian which by the
00:12:56
way i went to my brother-in-law's graduation he's gonna be a doctor there is no diversity in those smart
00:13:02
schools it i remember the non-asian names congratulations sharifah and kelly
00:13:07
constantino everything else yeah everything else was just yeah one name
00:13:13
after another get you know kelly tank ciao it was just like asians are crushing it dude whatever the parents
00:13:19
are doing at home making you sleep outside they're physically abusing them yeah they're bullying them into doing well otherwise they'll punish them for
00:13:25
the rest of their lives relationship-wise yeah this that movie kind of has a lot of that in that it has like a chinese immigrant family who is
00:13:32
disappointed in their daughter and they don't even live up to their own expectations yeah and all we have is like [ __ ] gary vee going like grind
00:13:39
we're like that doesn't work i need to be hit and be told to stay outside and my parents need to have come here with three cents in their pocket
00:13:45
and that's the reason i'll work you know what's great about that movie too is dude you gotta [ __ ] you know
00:13:52
what you have to [ __ ] do sell your shoes sell your [ __ ] shoes off your feet and [ __ ] that then you're then you
00:13:58
start a business that is so [ __ ] annoying i can't get rid of this guy i mean god bless the
00:14:04
work he's trying to do i get it but he's just uh what's going on you take your pants off
00:14:09
part of the mic yeah it's your mic i don't give a [ __ ]
00:14:19
sometimes i wonder why the show is taking a dive and then then i'm reminded by a wet fart into the
00:14:24
microphone at midnight but you know what's great about the movie too is that um it's a return of um data or short
00:14:31
round from indiana jones he's in the movie correct you know who else is in there who uh the older guy james hong james hong
00:14:38
james james tong wait yeah james hong got it right yeah he is so good this stephanie sue though the
00:14:45
young girl that plays the daughter so dope yeah i want to watch everyone's telling me to watch it yeah it's so good dude
00:14:50
honestly my whole thing was because 24 doesn't they [ __ ] they don't [ __ ] miss and
00:14:56
you're on an a24 show too i am on an a-24 well i'm not on it i'm i'm a guest star on a [ __ ] agenda he's on it oh
00:15:03
you know he's out now i know why you like this movie so much nice i'm surrounded by asians dude
00:15:08
couple of months with ali wong and you just can't you know what i mean you just you really get sucked into the people yeah uh they're good people
00:15:15
i mean also by the way let's say uh let's say our peace god bless one of the greats of all time passed away this morning
00:15:21
oh my god what the [ __ ] man do you know he died in his schlepped so would you want to die in your sleep i think about
00:15:27
that i was talking to my buddy scott today and we were together and we were chatting about and he was like yeah i died in his sleep he goes i guess
00:15:33
is a pretty good way i don't i want to be awake when i die you do why because i want to know it's real because otherwise
00:15:38
if you die in your sleep what is that who knows if you ever know that's the best way that's the best way
00:15:44
not knowing i don't have the horror of knowing i'm dying you're gonna die i'd rather see it happen and go i'm dying i
00:15:51
wanna know i thought you meant you'd rather see him dying so you could you know i'm gonna watch this yeah yeah yeah
00:15:56
they're gonna call me yeah figured she's gonna call tito andrew bubbies are not doing so well
00:16:04
and then you know i'm [ __ ] i'm full speed in my life i want
00:16:10
valet the car get up there bobby's like you're the only person that came to see
00:16:16
me i'm like i know baby boy and i rub your little korean head and i rub you as you
00:16:22
slowly pass away and no one's there it's just me and you in the room and the moment that you pass
00:16:28
away what do i do start filming and put it on start filming it you gotta you gotta modernize it the moment you die i
00:16:33
do what you do to your dad i take a selfie with your dead body be huge dude you know that this guy took
00:16:39
a selfie with his dad the moment after he died that's not why that wasn't my fault though my mom goes zappy you took the picture i
00:16:46
know but she was like therapy now yeah we could have gone no it's my mom she's in grief you were amped you i did smile
00:16:52
i didn't smile in the photo he's like they're like hey yeah we did it yeah um
00:16:58
yeah it's a moment i i think giannis you're right because if you go to sleep and then you're just dead you don't you
00:17:04
the trauma of knowing you're gonna die is that not there yes i just think i wanna know what's gonna what do you what
00:17:10
do you want rudy do you wanna see yourself because i wanna know this is it is the end and i kind of would feel a peace like okay this is it but in your
00:17:16
sleep how do you know you could be skipping lives and why do you want to know though what does it happen in any way it's undeniable yeah but what what
00:17:23
do you want to like you want to get your fairs in order in that moment like what no i just want to like re i want to see you know i want to
00:17:29
know what the last piece of time is for me on the earth i want to see it instead of being in a dream state i also sleep
00:17:34
poorly orgasm i want to die when i'm having an orgasm not in my sleep okay right i'm looking
00:17:42
at the girl's eyes girl's eyes kala a girl's eyes my girl's eyes a girl's
00:17:48
eyes the one that i'm seeing [Laughter] is what i meant to say you could i mean
00:17:53
who knows who knows right any girls are you looking up porno what are you doing over there
00:17:58
yeah in that's what you want but you're not taking into account what she wants she doesn't want a corpse on but that's
00:18:04
what i want that's so she's gonna just like i want to leave a mark she needs to go to therapy right right
00:18:10
it's gonna scar her it will right i'll leave a little mark yeah right she already has a corpse when he's on top of
00:18:16
her that's like it's he he fishes all around he flop fishes all around anyway she goes bobby are you alive
00:18:21
i'm still here i'll we you can dive beyond the [ __ ] i know you don't you don't i don't [ __ ] with that neither do
00:18:30
i think it's fine i'm not good well i'm sorry i'm certainly not like skilled i started watching this guy owen gray who
00:18:36
like women love it's like yeah let's see that yeah all women all straight women used to watch lesbian porn because it
00:18:42
was softer yeah yeah until owen gray came into the picture and changed the [ __ ] game and he makes them come over
00:18:49
and over and over again and i started watching this guy i'm like oh my god dude we are all we are all underperforming i gotta tell
00:18:56
you what i've seen i've seen [ __ ] swimming good tatted up guys right skinny tatted up guys yes he's amazing i
00:19:03
see a scar in his chest and he [ __ ] he holds like a massage thing on their [ __ ] and he bangs them and he is a
00:19:09
morning star yeah he's like a woman he's like he's more than a porn so he's like a female hero
00:19:14
rudy go ahead you're nodding go ahead and speak up yeah how do you saw his movies of course she has yeah his movies
00:19:19
you saw you see this penis going to vagina yeah that's what the porno is bud i know but why are you watching porn
00:19:25
like that because she's a grown-up what the [ __ ] are you talking about i know but you're right i thought she was his
00:19:30
daughter though she kind of is my daughter though it's your knee he's his niece by proxy but she's 20 years old you'll be 21 yeah november
00:19:38
yeah she's a [ __ ] grown-up we she's our like our daughter yeah but also you know she's watching all this [ __ ] what are you gonna i mean that's like
00:19:44
whenever you think what were you doing when you were way younger than her you were a [ __ ] piece of [ __ ] yeah you
00:19:50
were a piece of [ __ ] that was a pile of [ __ ] yeah dude so let her [ __ ] watch owen gray do his dance yeah you liked it
00:19:55
huh yeah yeah is his penis long yeah no he's the only porn star with a really
00:20:01
short right his penis yeah yes yeah is it girthy yeah it's magical
00:20:08
it's got a gandalf vibe it's got a wizardry now this is interesting because he's a white and you don't like whites i think
00:20:14
him and harry styles don't two whites that's all we get they train so if he
00:20:19
wanted to make love to you you wouldn't let him yeah yeah so we got two whites on the board we
00:20:24
should have a board back here that says whites that could bone rudy yeah because honestly that's only the two whites you've ever named that you're
00:20:30
okay he does like it's like a social service for women when you watch it it's like all he's just taking care of them
00:20:36
it kind of scares me yeah they're just like good they're vibrating they're like they're going nuts he's like just making
00:20:42
him come and i'm just watching going like i don't do any of that well i don't even watch masturbate i just watch and
00:20:47
take no i just learn a little bit you've never made a woman come i have but it's like by accident i've done it by
00:20:52
accident i've done it like a few times yeah i can remember them are you are you guys both being serious yeah
00:20:58
you don't try that's not i've tried you do it but you do it all the time every time what are you gay
00:21:08
like the girls always rule their eyes that's because they're like
00:21:14
yeah are you done yeah and then they'd maybe ask like oh i did it okay not
00:21:19
every time if you're like like you're just like hooking up with someone when you're single but like the person that
00:21:24
you're married to or with with oh yeah dude you gotta make him come really yeah if you're thank you
00:21:33
hey man hey when you were in florida and you needed to order something doordash every second
00:21:38
every second of the day what do you need you can get it deodorant snacks toothpaste drinks
00:21:44
food household essentials i mean whatever you want you want chinese food you want pizza whatever you got yeah yeah yeah froyo froyo oh you love yeah
00:21:52
your desk they got you with the restaurants you love right now and right to your door and now you can get the grocery essentials you need with
00:21:59
doordash too get drinks snacks and other household items delivered in under an hour they get over 300 000 partners in
00:22:04
the us puerto rico canada australia you can support your neighborhood go to's okay or choose from your favorite national restaurant chains like
00:22:10
whataburger whataburger popeye's chipotle cheesecake factory for a limited time our listeners
00:22:16
are going to get 25 off and zero delivery fees on the first order 15 or more when you download the doordash shop at the app store and enter the code bad
00:22:22
friends 20 22. that's 25 off up to 10 value and zero delivery freeze on your
00:22:27
first order when you download the doordash app in the app store and entered code bad friends 2022. don't
00:22:32
forget that's called bad friends 2022 for 25 of your first order doordash subjects to change terms apply better help i love better help i use better
00:22:39
help um you know uh life can be overwhelming andrew and many people are burned out without even
00:22:45
knowing it symptoms can include lack of motivation irritability fatigue and more we associate burnout with work but
00:22:51
that's not the only cause any of our roles in life can lead us to field burnout and better help us online
00:22:57
therapy and they want you to prioritize yourself look we both have burnt ourselves out working on multiple shows
00:23:03
and shooting and stand up and touring and if you don't take time for yourself the old noggin is going to crack at some
00:23:08
point and better help us customize online therapy that offers video phone and even live chat sessions to your therapist so you don't have to see
00:23:13
anyone if you don't want to it's very easy it's much more affordable than in-person therapy during uh the pandemic
00:23:18
and during the quarantine and stuff i mean without better help i would have lost my mind it really did help me and um i still continue to use it um our
00:23:25
listeners get ten percent off their first month at betterhelp.com bad friends that's better h e l p dot com
00:23:32
slash bad friends ten percent off their first month at betterhelp.com bad friends
00:23:39
yeah that was a genuine reality you and i are still learning anyway yeah yeah yeah
00:23:45
really every time yeah um okay look almost every time it has to be a priority for sure okay let's say you're
00:23:51
you have you're the teach us so we're in a class right we signed up we we're in new york we're two guys that can't make
00:23:57
girls come you're you're andrew salvador santino yeah
00:24:02
all right and uh we take your class yeah hi um i'm bob and this is okay asian guy
00:24:08
okay greek i'll be cheating off of him okay yes so what what give us some notes
00:24:14
do you have any black friends oh yeah yeah guy friends yeah yeah call them over to [ __ ] your girl crash
00:24:21
dismissed wow wow you cook your way yeah you gotta
00:24:26
you're gonna have to cut your way because you're not gonna you're not willing to put in the effort that's so [ __ ] first of all let me
00:24:32
say something the only thing you're putting effort into was how the way you ate that double double before we started this show you [ __ ] murdered that
00:24:38
animal style if you ate [ __ ] the way you ate in and out burgers you'd make [ __ ] you'd make her come listen
00:24:49
okay um i did all this for comedy sake right this whole show is for comments i know what my point is is that i've made
00:24:56
many of the women's [ __ ] okay sure i have sure yeah i mean sure i
00:25:01
can do this i'd cook do this cook what are you doing do it
00:25:07
look like you're playing with her come here you come here you're like looking at a wet booger
00:25:20
so i stick it in right i hook right hook and pull you right you hook and pull right flood city and then the
00:25:27
[ __ ] right i've done all that yeah yeah i mean yeah and they've gone all wild yeah okay they get all hog wild they
00:25:33
have and the mustache is like a [ __ ] tickler that helps thank you so much that's why you even have it my friend
00:25:38
yeah yeah i've done other things as well what are the moves that you do i do i do do the i try to do the hook
00:25:44
and pull okay yeah i do the hook and pull the hook and pull yeah you know try to get them to square and then until they go why are you doing that what do
00:25:50
you why are you what are you doing and i go i started a movie and they go that's not yeah it's too hard it doesn't
00:25:56
work stop it and then i stop and then i stop it you just go oh you have to stop i gotta hit him a few times with an elbow
00:26:03
bam boom right right right in the back you got it get him in
00:26:08
that's how you get them good and then they yeah everywhere you know oh you got to hit him you got to hit him in the neck you got a forearm boom right in the
00:26:14
neck yeah then they have to put a warning on that part do not do that i have this kid there's
00:26:20
some kid watching now going that's what i got to do i knew it i knew do you guys do this and i'm embarrassed
00:26:26
but do you ever go like when you're doing it you're about to come yeah but you don't want to so i always go i got i
00:26:32
gotta stop gotta stop right now for a second hold on hold on hold hold hold on and i'll pull out and i'll just kind of
00:26:38
lay on the side of the bed and regroup have you done that because i've done it yeah i did it when i was younger now i'm
00:26:45
like trying to come you got to get out of there yeah you got time to go oh this guy's got appointments so he's got
00:26:50
stuff going on and also like i've i've just chafed down the nerves of my dick so much with masturbation
00:26:56
that like it's like i need more dude yeah yeah yeah yeah i get that i need my i still
00:27:01
do that yeah that's a good sign hello that's a good sign yeah that means that you're
00:27:07
still enjoying it yeah and it's so much so that you're ready to go so fast remember the first time you did it you you go i came
00:27:14
it was just like right when you had i call me i i i lied yeah yeah i lied oh you wouldn't
00:27:20
i lied and pretended and she was like did you already i was like no yeah yeah yeah oh yeah yeah yeah that
00:27:27
happened to me and that's uh my girlfriend in high school got pregnant and we had the baby
00:27:33
no you didn't no he didn't i just didn't know what i was supposed to say there because i i mean we did get we got uh you got some
00:27:39
schmorffman we got it yeah we got a show well you're pro-life did you pay for it pro-choice oh my dad paid for it your
00:27:45
dad got involved i had to like take him to bbq's and tell him it's a weird combo i was like dad i got to go pregnant and
00:27:51
he gave me 700 bucks but did he yeah what's bbq's bbqs is that like uh you
00:27:56
don't have bbq's out here i've never heard of that in my life it's a barbecue barbecue restaurant like a chain i don't
00:28:02
know we don't know that it's frequented by a lot of people who are not white when you said bbq when you said i talked to my
00:28:08
dad and i had to tell him about the abortion of bbq's i thought that was an abortion clinic i was like is a weirdo
00:28:23
welcome to bbq's abortion clinic i'm big
00:28:30
no but you know what you did what you guys had to do i mean yeah i mean we were young it was uh you
00:28:36
know i think it was only a couple minutes that she knew she was pregnant i'm just trying to make everyone happy yeah yeah
00:28:43
it's a very hot button issue right now i know yeah i'm not even sure if it happened it might have been a dream yeah it might have been a fever it might have
00:28:48
been a fever dream i'm not even sure if it happened no you know was he concerned your dad was he like son i told you the rules and i'm
00:28:56
pulling out did he do the whole like no i think he just continued watching the game and just handed it i think i remember him just going in his
00:29:02
wallet and going like that he's like how much is he getting the [ __ ] out of here he was like happy that it works he was
00:29:08
just happy i'm with i was having sex with girls all right did he think otherwise well i had my oldest brother's gay so i
00:29:14
think he was hoping for one yeah yeah oh one to carry this is your older brother married no he's [ __ ] having a blast
00:29:21
he's just having did he come out earlier in life now no but your dad kind of already knew everyone knew it just
00:29:28
did we didn't talk about it that's how it worked when you had like older parents it just wasn't well you have immigrant parents too so it's even
00:29:33
harder right yeah that's a different that's just uh but did you pull your brother so i know i know your secret
00:29:39
uh well it wasn't a secret i know that you didn't i could just tell by the way he dressed oh oh yeah just
00:29:45
nice he was dressed well ah so but honestly was there a moment that he said to you giannis i want to talk to you
00:29:52
about something yeah like i went in his room and he was like the two guys were blowing each other
00:29:57
i was like i get i get i get it now it's a moment it could be yeah did you
00:30:03
really catch you really no but a piece of me think she did yeah yeah but no we didn't is that the
00:30:08
brother that's famous don't you have a political brother or like yeah but he's not famous to me i've
00:30:14
seen on tv i think no no no how do i know your brother because of him you know well no no no no no no right now
00:30:20
i'm curious about how you know my brother how do you know my brother honestly no i know your brother from some politics
00:30:26
from grinder it sounds like no no what does your brother do what does his mother do other guys i
00:30:31
don't know he does other guys exactly you don't have a brother that is semi-famous in politics no i wouldn't
00:30:37
call him semi-famous no i what does he do he's him he was in politics he worked yeah obama and clinton administration that's
00:30:43
how i know him yeah that's how i know him what do you mean that's how you know i'm like you you did you work i can't
00:30:48
grind [Music]
00:30:54
i swear to god i saw a documentary or something with him or i don't know he was definitely not in a documentary are you sure not a hundred percent sure yeah
00:31:01
yeah yes just let him have this one yeah he wasn't a documentary yeah there it is he was in that documentary let me ask
00:31:07
you something because i do it was the last dance i do that to him all the time yeah at some point he'll think if something is wrong it's not real i was
00:31:12
really i should have just been going with it well at some point i go yes bobby yeah he was honest
00:31:18
i swear to god right for some reason or another i knew who your brother was and i knew that he was
00:31:24
involved in politics and i know what he looks like so how was that the possible because you googled me maybe yeah you
00:31:31
probably looked at my wikipedia yeah before i came over you're like who is this [ __ ] guy again
00:31:36
well that's what i did that's what it was yeah yeah have you ever gone out partying with your brother like it like at a gay nightclub no but recently uh i
00:31:43
did go to his birthday and it was like all his gay friends were there and they party different man yeah they party hard
00:31:48
so you open the door they're naked they're doing poppers yeah and it's just a different vibe yeah they're so see gay
00:31:54
guys still do drugs we don't do drugs anymore they're just like oh they're having a great time yes yeah because
00:31:59
there's no kids there's no [ __ ] everyone's got a job yeah you know what i mean i mean if we us three were gay
00:32:06
if huh yeah if we were gay i could do it i know we would have so much fun so much
00:32:11
fun i mean we'd be like some would argue it's what we're doing right now and like we could do the pod yeah right
00:32:19
and but before and after we'd and it would be like not not an emotional thing is that your gay voice no no he's just it's
00:32:25
like he's letting him take over it's just talking he's just letting it happen yeah but it was like it wouldn't be an emotional thing we just [ __ ] yeah here's
00:32:31
my gay voice okay oh hey well so oh hey oh hey bob
00:32:37
real low and smooth oh i see hey bob what would mine be real femme
00:32:43
hey like that no you'd be like a little like a do like a little japanese girl oh hey
00:32:49
yeah yeah yeah yeah i suck [Laughter]
00:33:09
and then um rudy would you like tito you know why not go all the way i would just be like oh really
00:33:16
oh give it a go just be like hungry for [ __ ] all the time yeah be like a mixture of like
00:33:23
harvey weinstein tim dolla yeah but we would talk like this about
00:33:29
ourselves but in the business place we've toned it down right now for sure can i do this in the business place yeah you can okay that's hot we could sell so
00:33:35
many shows like that yeah let's go call cbs
00:33:40
that'd be working at a conference yeah you would when's someone going to make a show about three guys who choose to be
00:33:46
gay i think in order to pitch a show there was like just go we're gay and we
00:33:51
just become gay you can become gay right you don't have to be born gay now that they've like sufficiently proven that
00:33:57
you're born gay does that mean you can't choose it you can still choose it sure of course you can like you can just go
00:34:03
hey you know what i'm [ __ ] gonna be i'm gonna be i'm gonna start [ __ ] guys and be gay that's an interesting
00:34:08
perspective because you can choose anything you want yeah they've proven that it's sign that it's that that you
00:34:13
are born gay but then at some point if you're like sick of this [ __ ] yeah i'm sick of this or not even if you're not
00:34:19
you're just like you know what i want to try something i want to do it i want to be a gay guy yeah it's like that white girl from washington who was the leader
00:34:25
of the double acp but she was she was saying rachel exactly yeah and now but she's really white yeah but she still
00:34:31
insists that she's black but you know what he feels black she feels but the black community kind of is okay with her
00:34:38
they kind of that looks like my sister on the left that's like anybody i grew up with but then she was like i'm black
00:34:43
if you know what the case was you know if you say you're black enough you do kind of start to look black she really pulled it off for a while but you know i
00:34:49
think a lot of it was the way she was built she had like such a big ass like i think a lot of the black guys
00:34:54
didn't even notice she was white sort of like the being intimidated by the yankee pinstripes yeah they just
00:35:00
can't see yeah like you know what's so funny you know what's so funny though look at how white she started out yeah
00:35:06
like in the first photo right there go to the first photo the first one that we saw it's down a second row in the middle but like that's like me that's like my
00:35:13
skin tone yeah to get to where she is now is arduous i mean that's so much
00:35:18
tanning yeah what she should have done if you start out and you've got some real flavor in
00:35:23
your skin like rudy rudy could could tana [ __ ] load and then maybe try to sell it she
00:35:29
could if she like did the hair a certain way and had to start speaking a certain way i i she could i if she told me she
00:35:36
was black i'd be like oh she must be a little asian a little bit she's she don't you might not even know what she is would you know what she is
00:35:41
uh exactly chinese yeah see no not even not even close uh thai thailand vietnam laos
00:35:49
keep going uh so close uh really try are you trying yeah yeah i'm trying okay i've named almost every
00:35:56
asian country yeah korean no oh oh whoa dude oh yeah jesus christ
00:36:05
wait let me see he's bringing up the map of the island laos thailand filipino
00:36:13
i should have started with that one i'm in l.a i should have yeah you should have known better in new york we put that in the back because there's like no
00:36:19
filipinos i know they all come here yeah there's no philippines well this is so much closer they don't have any in new york it's
00:36:25
just a lot of chop mostly chinese oh yeah that's why i said
00:36:31
we know why rachel was like that though right why she what she she's so identified as
00:36:37
a black person i watched the documentary it's because she was her parents were super religious
00:36:43
and they adopted a bunch of black kids yeah right and she
00:36:48
saw them being like abused and psychologically abused and she wanted to save them right so she identified with
00:36:55
their struggle but that was her story and based on what she did with her life i don't know if we could take it as true
00:37:04
she's got a literal tendency to lie yeah yeah so because her parents were like no none of that didn't happen she just kind
00:37:10
of said she was black and left yeah but yeah they were against it yeah they were like but that's also because they were
00:37:16
probably you know really crazy racist it's also possible that she just had sex with a black guy she did she has three
00:37:22
kids and she was just like i'm doing this now yeah this is way more fun yeah i'm doing that now but she could do that
00:37:27
as a white girl why does she have to be black to do that well it just turns you dude it turns you so if you get [ __ ]
00:37:33
that good oh maybe some
00:37:47
yeah it's possible but do you think that if that's how good black dick is that you're like that's it i'm going black
00:37:53
yeah you just i'm gonna be black yeah but do you think a straight guy can be conditioned to like dick yeah sorry
00:38:00
do i think a straight man yeah well you were saying earlier like you think that like oh he's going back to the thing he's really interested in yeah
00:38:07
he's like well i'm just going to let's talk more about these decks yeah yeah yeah yeah do you think you can
00:38:12
be conditioned alike and of course you can yeah but through what prison is probably a big one
00:38:19
yeah dicks on women yelp yes oh yeah a segway you're saying it's like
00:38:24
riding a bike with training wheels you're learning then at some point you got to take them off and just go full dick yeah no tits full dick but do you
00:38:31
think that like me i'm fully heterosexual yeah do i think that no i am that wasn't convincing
00:38:38
me i'm i'm fully yeah right yeah but do you think that i could ever be conditioned to fully only like
00:38:44
dick there's not a doubt in my mind yeah there's not a doubt there's nothing about you shred of doubt it would be
00:38:50
tough for me because uh i just um i don't i'm trying to explain it without
00:38:56
without first of all guys are disgusting to me men are gross yeah i mean just awful
00:39:02
disgusting people yeah and penises including my own are just so awful looking to me i just
00:39:09
it's a it's just a yucky thing to look i don't even like looking at my i close my eyes they're not so yucky to me
00:39:14
okay well you could have been you can be flipping here yeah i mean i'm not like i don't you guys you guys want us all to leave yeah
00:39:21
i mean yeah they're not yucky to me either they're not yucky oh yeah the kinsey scale and we tried to kinsey seal
00:39:26
one on time on the show and it did prove that was bisexual that you were bisexual
00:39:33
it did it did you were we literally proved that he was like a quarterback yeah no he was like in the 30s
00:39:38
42 i'm 40 yeah yeah yeah but the kids scale is real you know this is like a real
00:39:44
scientific scale they say we're all kind of on it on a spectrum yeah i mean i'm straight i like women but i there's some
00:39:49
vaginas i've seen that have been like looks like a day yeah or yeah and i've seen and some there's some
00:39:56
uglier dicks and some handsomer dicks yeah i go with more like a case-by-case basis i just i'd be so
00:40:02
intimidated with the whole thing i just said i i just you know getting penetrated scares me and it you
00:40:08
know i just no thank you well that's not you know there's other things that you can do yeah at some point they're gonna
00:40:13
want the buck i think we're grooming him yeah yeah i feel like i'm being feel right
00:40:19
it doesn't feel right yeah yeah well you like rudy but rudy likes girls and guys i like girls and guys you like guys more
00:40:27
yeah because i haven't been with a girl so i don't know yeah but you're attracted to women yeah i think women there's it's more flexible yeah you know
00:40:34
why because look what they look like look what we look like if you were a woman you you know what i mean you'd also be
00:40:40
like well look at these other pretty things that put themselves together well yeah versus these you know no i i think you have to you
00:40:46
have to change your thinking andrew i really do i think you just have this like stuck you know idea about certain things and
00:40:52
yeah i do yeah correct yeah open up here i'm not opening up anything for you buddy yeah all right all right back off
00:40:58
with trying to force your dick in not doing that at all well i'm not gonna do it that's crazy i'm not gonna do it well
00:41:04
then you don't well then you don't want the roll i guess i got it yeah i mean i'm sure
00:41:11
that's that's interesting is there any role yeah that i would suck or [ __ ] for yeah
00:41:17
not [ __ ] because i know you don't like penetration right no i don't want that but me and yana's are producers right yes yeah right and we what studio let
00:41:24
you guys know disney yeah we're the new disney heads yeah
00:41:31
yeah so um and is there anything that we can offer you yeah so we were looking for
00:41:36
someone who just red hair that's me definitely yeah manly
00:41:42
little chorus okay yeah um yeah there's only there's just the thing americana
00:41:48
americana we love americana with a little edge a little feisty sports fan yeah the thing is there's there's a lot
00:41:53
that we have about 10 of you to choose from oh wow so you're all great we love you all we just want to know we'll just
00:42:00
tell what the project is well okay basically we're creating a new superhero yeah for the marvel oh seriously yeah
00:42:06
we're combining um a bunch of them in in wolverine but we're going to combine wolverine with what
00:42:12
we're going to combine wolverine with doesn't know any other superheroes no no wolverine and um it's gonna be wolverine
00:42:18
and uh wonder woman yeah so she's gonna be a non-binary it's a marvel tc cross
00:42:25
because you know the wonder woman was very difficult to get because it is dc and we're mod from marvel absolutely yeah yeah
00:42:32
yeah harry's i love harry's you know why i love harry why because my dad taught me that no man
00:42:39
should have hairy shoulders i like to keep hair on my face and not on my shoulders and i shave my shoulders baby my dad taught me how to tie and shave my
00:42:45
shoulders speaking of your dad and with father's day right around the corner there's never a better time to try or share the harry's experience that's
00:42:52
incredible because my dad needs some new shaving harry's delivers a close comfortable shave at a fair price as low
00:42:57
as two dollars per blade that's cheap but their blades aren't cheap they're designed to stay sharp in a recent study
00:43:02
guys who shave four times a week said their eighth shave with harry's blades was as smooth as their first oh my god
00:43:08
come on man no gimmicks unnecessary bells and whistles their customer satisfaction is the highest in the shaving industry and there's no risk to
00:43:14
try if you don't like it it's on them it's the best product out there man it's incredible man if you're looking for
00:43:20
something to shave your face with harry's has got it and they're giving their best offer to our listeners new
00:43:25
harry's customers can get a starter set for just three dollars ah or for a limited time through father's day get
00:43:32
free engraving on any premium shave set at harry's dot com slash bad friends
00:43:37
there's never been a better time to try harry's go to dot com bad friends to start your own harry's journey or to save a few bucks on a gift for a special
00:43:43
dad in your life hello tushy you know in the podcast studio we have now at my
00:43:49
home and our last one we have tushy yeah and my butthole can i say butthole you can say butthole yeah my butthole has
00:43:55
never been cleaner dude let me tell you something i've thought about kissing your butthole just giving you a little kiss on your balloon now uncomfortable i
00:44:02
but i will oh i wouldn't do it if it weren't for hellotushi because we got that hello tushie at the house yeah my
00:44:07
man your bum ish clean tushy the modern bidet company is celebrating national 69
00:44:15
day june 9th by offering tushy classic bidets for 69
00:44:20
when you purchase two or more that's pretty incredible on uh june 9 tushy will be offering their classes classic modern day attachments for only 69. uh
00:44:27
that's their biggest sale of the year six nine day is tushy's biggest sale of the year so do not miss out on 30
00:44:34
off it's better for the environment way better you get a cleaner butthole way cleaner it's so easy to install i
00:44:39
installed mine at my own home but and you did it at the studio which was shocking to me that you were able to put that together but i got to tell you yeah
00:44:45
there's no plumbing needed you don't switch anything out you don't need to do any any any uh macgyvering around there
00:44:50
when we say anybody could put this [ __ ] together we re we mean it really was they figured out 69 in the 80s they can
00:44:56
do it with this too hello tushy 3.0 attaches to your existing toilet with no electricity no no extra plumbing or tech
00:45:01
support face times cut toilet paper used by 80 so the hello toshiba day pays for itself in a few months plus every
00:45:08
hellotushy bidet attachment comes with a 60-day risk-free guarantee and a 12-month warranty your partner already
00:45:14
got a hello tussy on their pot blow them away with an upgrade to the new hello tussy 3.0 if he's new to the revolution
00:45:22
have him join millions of happy hello tushy customers right now for a clean butt with every flush give the gift of a
00:45:27
clean butt on june 9th go to hellotushie.com the promo code six nine to get thirty percent off once again
00:45:33
that's hellotushy.com bad friends enter the promo code six nine elegy dot com slash bad friends i don't do wolverine
00:45:41
it's a one it's a wolverine wonder woman it's the one who runs across the right
00:45:49
yeah yeah and then we have another superhero person spider-person people no longer
00:45:54
say man yeah i said non-binary it's a non-binary superhero movie yeah yeah do i still shoot webs or what do i see yeah
00:46:00
yeah but not out of your wrist where is it it's out of something else
00:46:06
and it's now we want to see it before the movie that's the thing we're brought in for is
00:46:11
because we want to see how you shoot your web and we can help you we can help you we
00:46:17
can do it yeah in fact you know dennis and i um we really want to help you train we
00:46:23
wouldn't help you train because we we have the movements any you know the
00:46:30
web thing very good point we like you yeah we do wait a minute do i have the role do you want it
00:46:37
is the question yeah do you see what i'm saying i don't
00:46:52
what do i have to do to get the role i feel like it's done right well you need to see you shoot your web yeah shoot your web because there's a spider person
00:46:57
in it in combination with wonder woman and wolverine right it's wonder wolf spider wonder wolf of
00:47:04
spiderman yeah yes one wonder wolver spider and um wonder wolver spider person the
00:47:11
web's going to be shot out of your private area yes
00:47:17
we don't call it's not what spider person doesn't have a penis yeah
00:47:22
it's
00:47:36
[Music] yeah i mean it it does protrude out of the
00:47:42
area yeah right yeah there is like a head but the region when it protrudes
00:47:48
when it gets hard yeah you say i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry you for okay i apologize crouching on
00:47:53
people's faces a little aggro got it there's a lot of apologizing while you're doing that yeah but your power
00:47:58
does come from there and that's yeah you should and here's the deal okay this is interesting right because when the web comes out right it it it devastates
00:48:06
people from the inside so you have to the web has to go inside the body yeah we'll have our mouths open
00:48:12
yeah yes yes because it goes in and it destroys the organs so that's your edition
00:48:20
that your audition will you [ __ ] us
00:48:25
for this role yeah yeah but i'm telling you right now uh 100 million dollars guaranteed star i'm
00:48:32
gonna make you start does it have to be both or can i just pick one
00:48:37
um well you could do either one of us but i definitely if you pick yana's i
00:48:42
definitely have to be there to watch because yeah well we'd prefer if you just did a little dipping and boom boom
00:48:48
yeah yeah because we're both you know yeah we're talking star andrew this is what you dream for this is what you
00:48:53
moved out here for yeah right do you want this i want my name and lights yeah there we go okay okay but
00:49:01
yeah get the nda forms ready yeah i guess
00:49:07
i guess i'm going to be a star that's right hold on a second i open the door tony hinchcliffe you can go home
00:49:25
congratulations so many times congratulations did you forget that uh uh wonder woman was
00:49:31
dc yeah i was not aware of that yeah he's not into that [ __ ] yeah yeah yeah he does oh he's not you know the
00:49:38
difference between dc and and marvel right i don't all right i like how you said yes he is like
00:49:43
superman superman what is it marvel dc superman i would be guessing yeah go ahead marvel
00:49:50
no no that's crazy yeah yeah batman dc i'm just guessing yes yeah that's right but i'm guessing i didn't know
00:49:56
that there was an affiliation with iron what is dc and marvel dc comics and marvel they're just too caught two they're two competing companies it's
00:50:03
nike and reebok i was into barbies as a kid oh oh okay yeah
00:50:10
oh that's i know that's mattel uh oh yeah no we know you know that
00:50:15
he's in a dress and barbies why is it well you guys no no no no no no no no no no no i'm not judging you guys no no we're not
00:50:22
joe johnson oh it's just shocking that you wouldn't not know the difference between the two that's i was doing straight stuff i was like
00:50:28
barbie huge it's a huge thing in our pop culture well like i don't expect you're not even from here right you're from the
00:50:33
philippines right i think what's your name is all right i thought she was your niece right it's nice yeah yeah
00:50:40
um let's see x-men marvel yes
00:50:45
fantastic four marvel yeah spider-person
00:50:52
marvel yes the flash dc said she knows
00:50:57
yeah um daredevil black panther marvel no b-e-t b-e-t b-t source
00:51:04
magazine five mics five mics baby
00:51:09
uh that's it that is interesting to think that you know i guess i'm not a big comic book guy but i do know that stuff yeah
00:51:15
we're sports guys you were did you watch star wars a little i watched the first one and i lost interest i was a weird
00:51:21
guy i was like into like adult movies when i was a kid like i was into like uh
00:51:26
like cerebral woody allen movies all right even as a kid did you you i was star wars guy were you
00:51:34
you never saw star wars you know this about me you you know i've never seen a harry
00:51:40
potter i star wars when you were a kid like i've see i've seen star wars empire
00:51:45
strikes back i've seen the jedi i've seen them in pieces over the years yeah you just so you know i didn't go to the
00:51:52
theater to watch those things but you know the you know the story i know all of it yeah okay do you know the story of star wars loosely
00:51:59
what do you mean like loosely is not in the movie yeah yeah okay
00:52:10
tell me the story like a real new york scumbag would say so what happens is right yeah yeah [ __ ] this guy he doesn't
00:52:16
know his father's and his father turns out to be like a [ __ ] crackhead on the [ __ ] corner
00:52:21
who's actually selling him the [ __ ] crack and then he goes hey guy you know [ __ ] come over on this side and
00:52:27
[ __ ] make some money but he goes my mom rows me right she rolls me up right i'm trying to do get a [ __ ] union job
00:52:34
i'm doing good he goes no come over over here there's good [ __ ] money over here you want we pay cash yeah and he
00:52:40
goes i can't [ __ ] do that i gotta kill you because you [ __ ] you you're driving down the property value just blocked my [ __ ] selling drugs on the
00:52:46
corner so he decides to [ __ ] kill his father yeah and then he [ __ ] his sister who he doesn't know is his [ __ ]
00:52:52
sister and then some [ __ ] carpenter who got a job as an actor because [ __ ] steven spielberg made him suck
00:52:58
his dick he's another guy that's in there
00:53:04
i don't know what han solo does i don't know that's that's my extent of star wars like i don't know what his deal is
00:53:10
i don't know where he could well he was a smuggler right he just by chance ran into obi-wan kenobi
00:53:17
and uh um and luke skywalker at most eisely the bar right and because he was in mos eisley
00:53:23
aren't you oh 50 how do you know all this [ __ ] i just because i i just know about star
00:53:29
wars no he's the generation that knows this the most yeah i mean star wars came out in the 70s in 1970
00:53:35
i was seven or eight years old that all the kids wore the the clothing and all the toys yeah i was like you were born
00:53:41
right after the war right korean war vietnam vietnam or korean which war were
00:53:47
you born after vietnam no no wait you're not not world war ii
00:53:53
no man when the boys came home no because i knew i knew that i was about the vietnam wars
00:53:59
because the kids school would go if i'd show up at the back you know at the play yard they'd go charlie oh man that's bad
00:54:05
and they would hide and stuff and throw rocks you're born in 69 71 yeah
00:54:11
wow yeah yeah did that hurt did that type of racism hurt oh it's terrible yeah it's bad yeah then we go charlie
00:54:16
and then okay you're gonna wear this rice paddy hat okay but let me ask you this question you wore it though if you were yeah and if you were really good
00:54:22
friends with those guys would it hurt as much it would be more funny no i was never good friends with them they would they would just do things these are just
00:54:28
bullies they're just bullying but your friends would make fun of you yeah if your friends did that would that be would it be okay
00:54:33
no it's never okay they would do it oh and i would accept it right i was like one of those guys goes okay i'll do it
00:54:40
yeah and i'll be out there you know what i mean and if the rocks i'll be bleeding that's not fun yeah they're charlie bleeding right
00:54:46
you're right and you know i mean and they would just keep doing it and i'd have to carry the rice around and cook the rice and i guess i need to
00:54:53
start carrying rocks all right two dollar [ __ ] [ __ ] right oh love you long time they make
00:54:59
you say love you long time that's bad it's very mean he was mistreated for so long yeah but not
00:55:04
anymore that's it so when are you going back to new york tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow morning oh my
00:55:10
god yeah so you came here because i want we wanted to help you yes because we think you're one of the funniest guys in
00:55:15
the world thank you and you have a special coming out special's out thank you okay yeah it's out it's called mom
00:55:21
love it's called mom love it's out it's on youtube right now bring up the v can you bring up the screenshot of what it looks like
00:55:27
uh the the title card there so we can just throw it up on the image we obviously can't watch it we don't want to watch it live on the show because
00:55:34
then you would it would be you guys wouldn't be laughing and they go okay why am i gonna watch it there it is mom love my guy and you shot it at comedy on
00:55:41
stage comedy on stage wisconsin one of the greatest comedy clubs in the entire [ __ ] world i love that club recommend
00:55:47
it enough to be owned by greek girls did the best i love that club yeah they they genuinely that family they do the best
00:55:53
has been so good to me over the years and whenever i go they treat me better than any [ __ ] i mean look it's also
00:55:59
because they have a family relationship a lot of clubs aren't owned like that anymore but what those chicks do i went out on
00:56:04
the boat with them me and o'connor went out on the boat had like one of the best days out in that [ __ ] lake
00:56:10
from hilarities the best what is it there yeah one of the best one of the best taking you out on boats no but he
00:56:16
got me a bat i know he got you guys he gets everyone to back yeah he gets me [ __ ] yeah i don't play i never played hilarity
00:56:22
you know are you kidding me where is it cleveland no that's weird it's one of the best clubs
00:56:28
in america it's like a denver comedy works yeah comedy nation yeah it's like that good you haven't been there
00:56:34
i don't think so if i have i don't remember i'm dead serious i don't think so you should i play
00:56:39
i played so many different cities but i just don't remember i don't know i don't i know i've never done hilarities
00:56:45
wow and if i did i don't maybe i don't remember well that's interesting there's a lot of clubs i never played that
00:56:50
everyone plays and i always feel hurt by it because they never asked i don't give a [ __ ] at all you don't know
00:56:55
do you care about [ __ ] like that no not really what's it what's up i'll go if i mean i would go if they ask me but it's also like sometimes you get offers to do
00:57:02
stuff and you're like i can't that week and then they're like we'll come back around to you and you're like i've already have seven other dates
00:57:08
it gets harder and harder where you're like i can't just especially now i think it matters less now but it's great when
00:57:13
you go there and they treat you well and it's a great club and they do the right things and comedy on state does that
00:57:19
mm-hmm they make a menu for you with like things from your jokes or whatever like they put a lot of effort in their
00:57:25
green room is incredible it's like it's not even it's an apartment it's an apartment a full [ __ ] apartment and the room is just gorgeous it's done they
00:57:32
just do it so well yeah and it's like it it makes other clubs go you're looking
00:57:37
at the other clubs going like why don't you just put a little effort into it man why don't you just because a lot because a lot of times now not to get too inside
00:57:44
baseball for people that don't give a [ __ ] but everything is a chili's now yeah you're at a [ __ ] you're basically at a
00:57:49
whataburger yeah you're at a [ __ ] local food and chop shop and that's fine it's
00:57:55
your trader joe's regional traders [ __ ] about a club this is just brought up do it yes yeah they just brought up
00:58:02
in it go hartford funny bone oh my god that's yeah have i played a week in there have i done that and then sunday
00:58:09
night hartford fun the manager comes oh yeah i just didn't meet you i'm meeting you now here's your check
00:58:14
yeah and how long ago was this this is probably eight years ago after he did that i was like oh i'll never play your
00:58:20
room again that's so disrespectful is it in a mall i don't know i don't know it isn't a mall it isn't a mall yeah
00:58:26
i don't give a [ __ ] here's another one virginia beach funny bone i did great numbers they're like he's too edgy yeah
00:58:34
and never had me back hartford funny go [ __ ] yourself [ __ ] them yeah you can say that now
00:58:40
[Laughter] i'm actually happy that you're that you're here and you're alive and you're
00:58:45
awake from a florida trip you draw you look you flew across the country and you're here on time and you've contributed so much to the show like you
00:58:50
always do you're my boyfriend my lover my king my prince meanwhile you you have given me nothing
00:58:57
you haven't interjected tonight you haven't jumped on anything what's going on in your world she's still thinking
00:59:02
about owen gray right now yeah you're crying out you grayed out right now oh i come home guess what's in the house
00:59:08
a new [ __ ] animal yeah you got another [ __ ] dog a puppy you scumbag what'd you call it
00:59:14
inky because it's black oh boy we're teetering on
00:59:22
it's called inky yeah because it's black yeah yeah okay what do we got a photo of it here on your [ __ ] story or your
00:59:28
feed a little inky little linky album coming soon is here
00:59:33
what kind of dog is it pitbull pitbull you guys like pits a lot you guys always have some variation dog so i i didn't
00:59:40
want to meet him i sat down while kalei was taking a shower and the dog jumped on my lap and fell asleep
00:59:46
oh where'd you get it from and i started drooling rescue
00:59:52
from a rescue yeah how many dogs are in the house now four five five well well one of them is going to go
00:59:58
soon which one i know yeah yeah maybe you lose you win something just she's
01:00:03
going out of the country now next week where are you going back home she hasn't been in the philippines in three years right how
01:00:08
long three years and what how long you gonna stay for just two weeks that's that's what you think
01:00:14
yeah you think you're using i want to go back i'm calling some people you want to come back here no no no i think you're
01:00:20
staying over there calling him i'll see what i can do i got we got we got [ __ ] immigration on speed dial i'll see what i can do i
01:00:26
haven't done anything wrong i know oh i don't know about that but we can say things too yeah we can lie yeah
01:00:33
so you better start [ __ ] treating him a little bit better around the house yeah are you would you be bombed if you went
01:00:38
to the philippines and that you went and they said you're not longer you can't go back
01:00:43
yeah i'd be sad how would you would you try to get here anyway yeah boats what what you mean
01:00:48
sneak in yeah yeah she should just marry a guy here right can you get in that way yeah but look he
01:00:55
just andres just went to he's now an american citizen he married a guy well he married a guy here you married a guy that's in a citizen here but it what is
01:01:01
it how long do you have to be married so it's uh keep the citizenship five years five years where is he from espana uh
01:01:08
spain and he's one of the but he's one of the bad boy ones you could tell by looking at this guy's a bad boy yeah
01:01:13
look at his unbuttoned a little bit got that floor under floral underneath yeah he runs with the bulls oh yeah yeah boy
01:01:19
do you guys do any uh hiring from america
01:01:25
you got to get a visa for everyone who works well here's here's why we hire these people we can kind of hold this over their head
01:01:32
all the time i like it we'll send you back at any given moment yeah so you know you want to but fancy fancy
01:01:38
now is an american citizen so we actually respect him but tell him yeah we can give you carlos
01:01:43
we can still take carlos yeah we can still do whatever we want with carlos right he's also mexican and you know that's you know that whole thing you're
01:01:49
mexican yup what does deep state mean deep state means uh let's let that one
01:01:55
sit right that's the cutest question you've ever asked in my entire because i where did you hear who said because i was just at
01:02:00
lax and i was getting my bags and i was like what what's the funny nothing go ahead
01:02:06
oh just say you came up with deep state at lax sounds like some sort of conspiracy okay happening which is exactly i've
01:02:13
heard it before but i was sitting there trying to get my bags and there was a guy with a you know
01:02:19
you know a hat that has that's a deep state on it no no it has a force on it
01:02:24
you know you know it's like a forest keep going okay i don't know where this is so far so
01:02:30
wearing a forest hat looks like a forest right he's wearing foresty kind of gear you mean he's wearing like outdoorsy
01:02:36
gear yeah but like they blend into the forest
01:02:43
it's not camouflaged because camouflage i equate to like you know military military right this is more like hunting deer
01:02:50
hunting duck duck hunting duck hunting you know what what i'm on your same line i understand thank you so much that's
01:02:55
why i call it a forest town yeah but it is still camouflaged go ahead so a guy a guy who clearly votes democrat
01:03:02
well that's where i was i was like he's like um bobby lee right and i go yeah and he goes big fan
01:03:08
thank you he's a marine yeah right he just retired so he is military
01:03:14
twists and i understand why military gets to go on
01:03:20
the plane before me because i'm first class um but what if kid's ever done
01:03:26
sorry why do kids get to go on first you haven't done nothing can i tell you why why nowadays they survive shootings
01:03:32
because when they when they load up when they load up their old pieces [ __ ]
01:03:38
when they load up those lassos on the plane yeah yeah get those [ __ ] settled in before i get on the [ __ ] plane yeah i don't
01:03:45
like when people are banging around their [ __ ] kid through the aisle so he was telling me about um
01:03:50
you gotta be careful about your phone man i go why because they can read facial expressions and the government
01:03:55
takes notes yeah it's called face id i i said yes to it right yeah and then he's like you know i mean
01:04:01
everything's that you know they know your movements and that and you know i mean all this stuff and he's like it's
01:04:06
the deep state and i go how deep yeah because i don't know what it means
01:04:12
like what state it's so deep it's not 40 or 50 feet yeah yeah i mean is it canyons or i don't know what the [ __ ] it
01:04:18
meant right those guys think that the government likes just watching you like i don't even like watching me all day no
01:04:24
imagine there's some guys sitting there watching me live my life well that's what's so funny like this is kind of the
01:04:29
same uh but people think that they're so important that like they're jason bourne yeah like no one gives a [ __ ] about you
01:04:37
no but that's funny this is kind of the same argument when somebody's like you know with this [ __ ] gun law stuff is
01:04:42
all back again with guns and stuff and and whatever you feel about it the funniest response i ever hear is when
01:04:48
someone's like you need your guns to protect yourself if somebody comes to your house if like the government comes
01:04:54
to your house you know and tries to take you take over you'll have a fighting check do you really think
01:05:00
you could [ __ ] with the military if they came to your [ __ ] knock down your door no nah you're gone but it depends
01:05:05
how what level of juice issue you have good luck good luck good luck so you're saying the deep state is a government
01:05:12
agency that's that we're not providing no no no no what is the deep state explain it it's a conspiratorial theory
01:05:17
that that there is a
01:05:23
nothing came out but yeah go ahead this is janice's field yeah well i mean all you got to do is listen
01:05:29
to any tim dillon episode and you'll get an explanation of it okay or like a joe rogan yeah it's like what is it like a
01:05:34
collaboration between you know corporations and and uh the the
01:05:40
state at like a clandestine level so you don't know about it so there's some things have
01:05:46
been found to be true right like they were the government was uh you know
01:05:52
facebook and the government were kind of giving giving our data there was a collaboration going on it's stuff you
01:05:57
already know snowden revealed that there was some deep state stuff going on
01:06:02
things can be deep state basically what it is is like there's no branch of government that is uh this isn't like a
01:06:09
official thing it's an unofficial theory that has been proven true in
01:06:15
certain ways that the government is [ __ ] working in conjunction with
01:06:21
major corporations major [ __ ] but haven't they like i i i ran
01:06:26
the iron car or they were selling you know i mean our weapons to to free the hostages you know i mean
01:06:31
secretly you know what i mean yeah but that's real that was real we were giving them weapons in exchange for hostages
01:06:38
right but that was secret right so that it wasn't out there until we found out about it and it became a big deal right
01:06:43
that's some deep i guess it is some some deep state [ __ ] yeah but usually deep state [ __ ] is more
01:06:48
like uh you know it's it's a lot of conspiracy theory
01:06:55
basically spy [ __ ] spy [ __ ] let's like uh yeah like uh like they're they're watching you're deep state you're you're
01:07:01
you know you're secretly working for the government and you're trying to out uh andrew santino as uh oh here you go yeah
01:07:08
look the united states department of justice was part of the deep state because they didn't uh prosecute huma abdeen or james comey
01:07:15
that's trump's theory trump's theory is that is that so i'm saying like it's it's a lot of theorized versions of what the deep state is protecting
01:07:21
you know what i mean yes is there a deep meaning there's like a secret
01:07:26
there's
01:07:36
will you put it in there yeah yeah okay you can swallow you don't have to spit but is it chewing tobacco yeah yeah but you don't
01:07:42
have to spit it's swedish yeah let me give me some yeah swedish yeah yeah and you don't have to spit you can
01:07:47
swallow it okay okay thanks man put it right in there no no put it in don't swallow it
01:07:54
bro bro look i have pouches no no but you but you have to spit the pouch you don't have to spit any of that
01:08:00
swallow these two baby you you're not supposed to sleep stomach cancer dog
01:08:06
you got to get them all like pokemon get them all throat wait you really swallowed it no matter
01:08:11
okay well if these are better you don't have to spit where do you get these at you have to find them uh you know certain stores have them certain don't
01:08:17
but like the swedish figured out a way to like i don't know pasteurize it so you don't have to spit yeah because you
01:08:22
pass it you pass it through that stuff will [ __ ] you swallow copenhagen yeah yeah yeah i'm putting another one
01:08:28
in yeah why not yeah throw one in i'm not gonna let me use snooze alone we jumped over it real
01:08:33
fast but let's get back real quickly to what you do giannis does have a new special coming out yeah mom love mom love please
01:08:40
watch it you guys it's on uh the tubes of the use uh please support my guy what are we
01:08:45
talking right now how long has it been up a week right it's been about six days six days mom love giannis pappas go
01:08:52
watch the guy how many views are we talking right now because we're gonna [ __ ] we want to amp the viewership of this song we're at
01:08:57
six figs dude come on 137 we're getting this way higher than that thank you all of our friends please watch this show do
01:09:04
you get money from that uh no this is just uh it costs a share that's my marketing line it costs a share uh-huh
01:09:10
so if you watch it just share it text it to your friends right share it on your profiles just get it out there just push it
01:09:17
around push it out right push it around yeah i'm gonna push it push it i look real good
01:09:22
giannis is giannis is one of one of the one of the good ones as they say one of
01:09:27
the good greeks like i i would i literally i swear to god dude i if i was stranded in new york yeah
01:09:34
there's not a lot of guys i could call to help me yeah i i think you'd be one of them i wouldn't because i don't need you there i need you here he needs you
01:09:41
here so i wouldn't pick up he wouldn't hang out with you no no what no he's got a family if i was in
01:09:46
trouble you wouldn't help me well what do i get at it no
01:09:51
but for real you wouldn't no of course i would yeah yeah who would you really call first who'd be your first call in new york if new york call me i'll help
01:09:58
you i swear to god i'm a good person yeah i'll tell you who
01:10:04
why i don't think he would help me yes he would he might yeah he would he might he may he might he might he might
01:10:09
make you podcast about it yeah yeah yeah you would definitely i think i'll help you yeah yeah um who else and i got the
01:10:16
time too i'll be i'll be available yeah yeah yeah schultz would be busy stefano probably not he's not going to help you
01:10:22
no no no no no no no no he'll help he's a good guy yeah he's on staten island though now that's over the bridge it
01:10:27
depends where you are yeah you're stuck in manhattan he's not coming yeah you know who i would help me but i want i don't want his help godfrey
01:10:34
yeah or if you got to listen to a lot that's a lot yeah yeah you should call
01:10:39
up normand hey you think you're helping hey bob boba here i heard you're stuck bobby i'm on my way
01:10:46
yeah don't move you know ari would you're gay yeah ari yeah if he was if he wasn't in bangladesh this [ __ ]
01:10:53
is around the world every time i turn around i'm like where are you right now he's like i'm in the andes that dude
01:10:58
nobody travels like he does on a whim yeah on a [ __ ] whim that guy will disappear and just travel the world
01:11:05
yeah he had a flip phone flip phone yeah yeah [ __ ] that guy's bonkers are you
01:11:11
excited about what top gun maverick big time yeah big time god bless god bless you gonna watch
01:11:18
it really are you [ __ ] kidding me yeah i wouldn't miss that for the [ __ ] world is his wingman in the movie too what was his name no he died
01:11:28
oh that's amazing yeah i saw a preview for the bob's burgers movie and i thought
01:11:34
yeah how does tom cruise still look so good baby blood yeah yeah that's sure yeah
01:11:40
drinking small if you're you're talking about that's z new cabal genius you knew the alien [ __ ] yeah he's
01:11:47
top dog over there at scientology i mean look at his face he's still got a nice fat chair right there on the man so a
01:11:52
good friend of mine was owned in khan in khan and they did uh part of the you know like the flyover premiere there
01:11:58
where they had the jets and [ __ ] with the red white and blue and he came in on a [ __ ] helicopter this [ __ ] king
01:12:03
he's the last movie star we got buddy he is right yeah that's it he's done dude this is it it's not happening anymore
01:12:09
yeah yeah he really and you know it was classy when the guy squirted with the do you ever see that huh well he's like oh
01:12:15
yeah yeah he's at the press right line right and somebody squirts him with a squirt gun and he at first he was gonna snap you
01:12:21
could tell that you could that would piss me off he's wearing a tuxedo yeah he just grabs him and goes why did you do that man yeah huh i was being nice
01:12:27
and i came up to you and you scored at me and thinking why why'd you do that man that was wrong yeah but you know what happened that guy career ended
01:12:33
abruptly the guy was never heard from ever again yeah you know you don't [ __ ] squirt the king you don't swear
01:12:38
you know you don't squirt the key you don't squirt him in the [ __ ] yeah look at that look at that please welcome please watch johnson's special right now
01:12:44
on youtube yeah we appreciate you yani uh why don't you take us out why don't you tell the camera thank you for being
01:12:50
a bad friend uh thank you for being a bad friend guys just continue don't answer anyone's calls who calls you
01:12:56
make them text and forget all your friends birthdays [Music]
01:13:07
do you know what's crazy watching you wolf down in and out in front of everyone yeah it's just it's just it's
01:13:13
it's a spectacle you're tough to watch eating you're a terrible you're bad at eating yeah you should see me eat [ __ ]
01:13:19
let's see cut over here and we're like you get a bird's eye view yeah yeah yeah yeah stupid i'm such a stupid man i'm a
01:13:26
stupid person yeah you're not a smart guy okay yeah you don't know what's going on [Music]
01:13:48
bye

Badges

This episode stands out for the following:

  • 70
    Funniest
  • 70
    Best performance
  • 60
    Most quotable

Episode Highlights

  • Crying at the Movies
    A heartfelt moment as one host shares how he cried during a movie.
    “I cried in the movie theater for a full 10 minutes!”
    @ 08m 14s
    June 06, 2022
  • Celebrating Asian Talent
    The hosts discuss the importance of Asian representation in film, highlighting a recent movie.
    “I love Asians!”
    @ 10m 46s
    June 06, 2022
  • Doordash Convenience
    Get everything from snacks to groceries delivered in under an hour with Doordash.
    “You can get deodorant, snacks, toothpaste, drinks, food, household essentials.”
    @ 21m 38s
    June 06, 2022
  • The Importance of Self-Care
    Burnout can stem from various life roles, not just work. Prioritizing yourself is crucial.
    “If you don't take time for yourself, the old noggin is going to crack.”
    @ 23m 03s
    June 06, 2022
  • A Unique Perspective on Identity
    Discussion on choosing sexual identity and societal perceptions of race.
    “You can choose anything you want.”
    @ 34m 08s
    June 06, 2022
  • Creating a New Superhero
    A new superhero is in the works, combining Wolverine and Wonder Woman!
    “We're creating a new superhero!”
    @ 42m 00s
    June 06, 2022
  • Unique Superhero Powers
    Discussing a superhero's unconventional web-shooting abilities.
    “The web has to go inside the body!”
    @ 48m 06s
    June 06, 2022
  • Excitement for Stardom
    A playful moment about landing a star role in a superhero movie.
    “I guess I'm going to be a star!”
    @ 49m 07s
    June 06, 2022
  • Deep State Theories
    Exploring the conspiratorial idea of the deep state and its implications.
    “It's an unofficial theory that has been proven true in certain ways.”
    @ 01h 06m 02s
    June 06, 2022
  • Giannis Pappas' New Special
    Giannis has a new special called 'Mom Love' that you should check out.
    “Please support my guy!”
    @ 01h 08m 40s
    June 06, 2022
  • Tom Cruise: The Last Movie Star
    A discussion on Tom Cruise's enduring star power and recent appearances.
    “He's the last movie star we got, buddy.”
    @ 01h 12m 03s
    June 06, 2022

Episode Quotes

Key Moments

  • Movie Tears08:14
  • Asian Representation10:46
  • Doordash Deals22:16
  • New Superhero42:00
  • Bidet Benefits43:49
  • Web Powers48:06
  • Stardom Dreams49:07
  • Eating Spectacle1:13:07

Words per Minute Over Time

Vibes Breakdown

Related Episodes

The Korean Takeover w/ Steebee, Dumbfoundead, & Peter Kim | Ep 154 | Bad Friends
The Korean Takeover w/ Steebee, Dumbfoundead, & Peter Kim | Ep 154 | Bad Friends