00:00:00
two are bad friends who are these two idiots
00:00:06
[Music] or something we're bad friends can I
00:00:12
tell you I was up in the belly room and I knew he was in the audience and he really wanted to see all of us go up
00:00:17
yeah and the belly room has a window to the main room so I knew you just went on stage so I bring McConnell I could tell
00:00:24
he doesn't know how to get anywhere yeah so I take him down the back stairwell through the kitchen to get to the main room and when we get in the kitchen he
00:00:30
goes wow
00:00:41
people are gonna think he burped if they're listening listen do it again I feel like you're
00:00:47
gonna do something I'm not do it again okay so bring him down the stairwell to get to
00:00:52
the main room and right when we get down there he goes ah
00:00:58
sorry I sometimes you have day terrors let me get this straight
00:01:05
so he was upstairs in the belly room yeah yeah through the little window he heard I heard it you heard Santino being
00:01:12
announced in the main room I text him santinos exactly so then you go let's go but he went ahead of you no no he was
00:01:20
like he saw the text and he looked up and he's like like I don't know what to do with myself right and then he went
00:01:25
down to the kitchen I wave it I I he went down to the kitchen showed him how to get down the kitchen and then when he went to the kitchen he went let me get
00:01:31
there look at this he went whoa no he went wow wow wow wow wow and is there a
00:01:39
Panda in it or a Ninja Assassin anything can happen in the story well that's what
00:01:44
I was like why is he so amazed by the kitchen but he just really loved that place why
00:01:50
don't you make up that story again can we just let that story sink in for a
00:01:55
second why don't we get it okay
00:02:01
bring them in here maybe we could write this down and maybe this is a movie that's how interesting your story is it
00:02:08
kind of sounds like a film it's like a film we got to get Mel Gibson in it he's in already right yeah we should get
00:02:13
Steven Seagal yeah yeah it's an action adventure comedy it's got everything
00:02:19
Thriller High Street it was a roller coaster oh my God the level of the movies you guys are are doing I know I
00:02:25
know because when he was going down the stairs of the kitchen I was like oh that's the end of the story yeah
00:02:36
in the kitchen whoa it's so good to be here it's been a year since I've been on the show wait is this your is this your
00:02:42
one year episode yeah let's give it up for jet ski one year she's been on the show your last episode with that [ __ ]
00:02:49
story you're really not coming through with that [ __ ] yeah mccone's lurking in the back uh fancy don't ever leave the
00:02:55
board again that's like when you leave the boat I don't want to I don't want the captain to leave the wheel don't let one of the Skippers [ __ ] take the
00:03:01
wheel right you know I don't want to crash port side congratulations on one calendar the year of being on this show
00:03:07
yeah you think you're gonna last longer well uh wait what I have a story give it
00:03:13
so oh my God so today I woke up this morning right I got out from my bed and you can't believe what happened I went
00:03:19
down my hallway and I got a cup of coffee wow and oh yeah and then I went whoa
00:03:25
whoa yeah that's a good story thank you man I'll be honest tell you tell me one
00:03:31
today my dog jumped up on the ottoman oh no wait and she spun around and then sat
00:03:37
down and she looked back at me and I was like wow
00:03:43
pretty cool whoa dude pretty cool it's pretty cool story cool I worked late
00:03:49
last night I worked a regular shift I'm sick I want to go back to theaters
00:03:56
where did you work at the store yes or at the store last night I worked back door at the store you're stressed out I
00:04:01
was really stressed out Bobby was stressed out because Kanye was there and nobody recognized him Kanye was there
00:04:07
wait stop what'd you say you told me nobody recognizes me tonight this sucks that's not what he said yes
00:04:15
that's blasphemy wait a minute that's not what I said was Kanye there Kanye was there well I am was there will
00:04:22
I am in Kanye West the weekends were there Kali was there yeah Khalid was there yeah
00:04:28
I don't know yeah Talib kwali was there that's crazy
00:04:33
with Kanye and we're not together
00:04:38
they were all there and I did not say that I just said what I said kind of the it's that kind
00:04:44
of but you you know tell them what I said um it's different tonight no no one
00:04:51
knows who I am that's what I remember you saying why would I say That's [ __ ] the grossest
00:04:58
thing can we go back to Kanye was that okay let's go to Kanye that's insane Kanye was there with Will I Am yeah
00:05:05
I was with a young lady in the patio and then we look out and Kanye's running
00:05:11
across sunset from the store and he I guess he couldn't get into the Chappelle
00:05:16
show why did he leave I don't know why he left wow he could definitely get in did he say anything anti-Semitic
00:05:24
he did a hand thing like Bob say you later right no that makes sense yeah
00:05:29
well whatever you'd think he'd hate the store because it's owned by Jews
00:05:36
[Music]
00:05:53
because it's like it's so chewy it is yeah yeah and we love it we [ __ ] love
00:05:59
it I mean 19 for a Diet Coke but that's fine that's how why wasn't I there last night where was I last night
00:06:05
what did I do you rested last night remember you told Chris that you were taking a night off you went golfing in the day yesterday I did need to rest and
00:06:10
then you said I'm resting but you should have been there last night God I wish I would have been there for Kanye I had so much stuff I do stuff about him I do a
00:06:16
joke about him yeah you you weren't because he had people around him right a couple of guys around when I was because
00:06:22
I had the help and a lot at one point so many Entourage came in and he was the whole cast of Entourage was there too
00:06:29
crazy it was crazy was Lloyd there for some reason the cast of Glee what yeah
00:06:34
he was singing and dancing and hopping around they all drove in separate cars it was a mess get him [ __ ] it that's
00:06:40
wild yeah I think what I said was I think what I said was it because what
00:06:46
can I just say something please anything that I say to you can you just keep it to yourself because I have things that I
00:06:53
could say about you do it I have something I'm not going to do it I'm just saying you made me look
00:06:59
like a fool I'm gonna let that go I don't remember what I said but probably I did say that but um
00:07:05
just don't say that stuff okay it's because I've I said that story and made myself look like a fool so it's trying
00:07:10
to make you the target smooth but we were we liked your story
00:07:17
we loved it so fancy show that video that I sent to
00:07:22
you I really want to show you something Bob I think this is revolutionary stuff right here
00:07:29
[Music] huh
00:07:39
[Laughter]
00:07:49
how clever so how clever by the way so I found Battle Raps in the Philippines
00:07:55
they are huge I propose you and I go do a battle rap in the Philippines okay bad
00:08:01
friends battle rap Philippines I need to brush up on my tagala I know everything he just said well I did too yeah I can
00:08:07
understand it right talking it I say something I I know you took the class yeah uh
00:08:18
hey hey hey hey [Laughter]
00:08:35
[Laughter]
00:08:49
so I think we should do a bad friends battle rap in the Philippines I swear to
00:08:54
God yeah that was so fun we should do the whole episode like that but I found you
00:09:00
I found these videos online they have millions of views and people are obsessed they're pushing them around and
00:09:06
yeah I think somebody said bad friends battle rap Philippines would be at the echelon to me of us traveling
00:09:12
internationally so I think we should go over there do a show and do a bad friend's battle rap well I mean we went out there did our
00:09:17
the show Friday show I know when does that come out fancy it's coming oh it's coming you
00:09:24
know what that means yeah nothing yeah nothing at all well he edited it it was anyway let's move on okay okay
00:09:31
would you just roll your eyes at me dude never you just did though no so you just did that one time oh I see yeah yeah
00:09:38
he's getting cocky ever since dude he's getting real cocky why I don't even want to say it it's going
00:09:44
to get it's going to Hype them up that's a [ __ ] podcast now and he's like all you know I did it did you do it no I'm
00:09:51
not doing that because you are he texted me Andrew please come talk to me
00:09:56
and you know what I said yeah great yeah I should have said no I'm spawn into that guy here's another thing
00:10:02
what did you do what movie did you do I don't remember but I remember being angry because I was there I had to wear he has props yeah and wardrobe oh wow
00:10:11
who does wardrobe for a podcast he does
00:10:19
oh you think he was gonna follow the script right come on I know that's your fault right yeah I'm gonna do it I'm
00:10:24
gonna do it soon because I'm I'm proud of the kid and I want to help him out what are you Aaron Sorkin you have to do word for word the way you wrote it
00:10:30
[ __ ] piece of [ __ ] then all right you're you're a producer I'm not look I want you to pull up a
00:10:36
photo I'm not saying I'm not trying to make a joke or anything but do
00:10:42
Jonah Hill somebody saw another photo this guy you know how he gets big and skinny and big and skinny there's a
00:10:48
picture that came out that somebody showed me today that I was like man it looks concerning like Jonah Hill now
00:10:54
there's no way no it was kind of wild there's it's got to be on images maybe images no that wasn't it there he is he
00:11:01
looks good no no just click images Bud the word yeah
00:11:06
um but I think that's it that's actually the one right it looks good yeah but look at the whole body he's got me the whole body
00:11:13
he looks great he looks great he looks ripped so skinny and jacked yeah what's he doing dude oh is that what you're oh
00:11:19
Sam Pick oh oh oh oh what's ozone pick it's like a is it a
00:11:26
weight loss drug yeah yeah whatever the case dude he he's looking the kid's looking great shout out to
00:11:31
that kid but I saw a photo and I was like he's got kind of like a um Tom Hanks uh
00:11:40
little Tom Hardy Tom Hanks up top Tom Hardy down below yeah skinny tattooed right like look he's in [ __ ] great
00:11:45
shape so I'm like what is he working on this doesn't look like just life stuff this looks like he's working on a movie
00:11:51
thing well he looked like that in a YouTube movie right with Eddie Murphy this is the most like in shape I think
00:11:57
I've ever seen the guy that Eddie Murphy movie he looked good but this is like [ __ ] crazy Jack he's Jack these
00:12:03
skinny muscles out I just have to say he's puffy he's the nicest guy yeah I'm
00:12:08
not saying anything negative so I'm not saying he must be planning for something is my point yes because he's looking such a nice guy have you met him yeah
00:12:15
Jules no no Jewels I know she'll be here soon I saw
00:12:20
her yesterday what happened another guy I went to over the house um you went to go see Jules and kalila at their house
00:12:26
goes let's watch a movie so I go I had some time you know what that means what
00:12:36
yeah how was she she looked kind of like collateral too every girl looked like
00:12:44
that's a good question I've never said that to you I know you haven't no never and I wouldn't cross that line that's really effective you do have a tall
00:12:51
beautiful model-esque long oh so every tall pretty girl is kalila now long dark
00:12:56
hair the blondes don't like me baby I know it's a bad thing have you never
00:13:01
had blondes before Sarah Hyland she's kind of dirty blind she yeah but like a blonde blonde oh no like a platinum
00:13:08
blonde no why do you think they wouldn't like you what is it maybe it's God's law
00:13:15
yeah maybe it's a prophetic God thing what is God's law son you will not get top of the line
00:13:23
you'll get nine 0.5 Nine's still pretty good but not ten
00:13:29
why not is that God is that pretty good God yeah but why not God I would say Korean God because Korean God fancy yeah
00:13:37
you think what does Korean God sound like to you like that no that's not do Korean God
00:13:43
Andrew you know Korean God my son yeah
00:13:50
out of my dad yes what do you think God says what do you think God says about you fans you think you have a better God
00:13:56
than some of us is yours a Spanish God yeah yeah yeah he's probably a pervert you can't be you can't be much of a god
00:14:03
he's out whistling at women in the street [ __ ] perf he had a perv God so wait
00:14:08
you went over to the house and what happened you watch a movie yeah and the movie is the most triggering movie I've ever seen
00:14:15
in my life what's it called soft and quiet I know I mean it sounds awful let me see
00:14:22
something quiet it's on the [ __ ] Netflix have you heard of it yeah 2.1 they shot
00:14:28
it in four days yeah yeah what's it about a horror movie well I mean it's it's
00:14:35
it's it's I I I it's a stretch to say it's a horror movie why what is it where does
00:14:41
it land oh it's a Blum House it's a Blum House movie so you think you know I mean it's a horror movie but um oh [ __ ] it
00:14:47
I'll just talk about it I don't give a [ __ ] I'll talk about it do it all right a bunch so it's shot in one shot
00:14:56
so basically it's um it's it's one shot so it's like the whole there's no Cuts
00:15:01
Steadicam the whole time yeah fake fake because I could see like when they point to the sky yeah you have to cut it at
00:15:08
their Birdman cut it's a birdman yeah but it's still seamless that you can't you don't know where the cuts are so
00:15:14
like from beginning to end it starts off with a teacher Elementary School teacher oh yeah
00:15:32
don't want spoilers there's no way to say it without oh no I like it you like it this is how all good movies start if
00:15:39
this school with a pie wink wink go on what else happens so then uh the football team comes in
00:15:47
yeah and then you see her go out in the front of school it's pretty day it's like 4 P.M or whatever she's a little
00:15:53
kid and little kid goes what do you have he says I have a pie and it shows the The Woman white woman walk into a forest
00:16:01
yeah she finds a church well yeah yeah she's a white woman she's wandering as
00:16:06
they do yeah she sees um a bunch of other white female friends in the church and it's this meeting
00:16:13
oh wow what was Kanye there no I thought this okay it could be he could
00:16:19
have been it because watch okay and you know this is now 15 minutes you know it takes a while for to get there she opens
00:16:25
up uh the pie and on the surface of the pie is a swastika seriously oh [ __ ] okay
00:16:33
well you you love it now no yeah now I want to see it did you see how before I was just like oh teacher wandering Woods
00:16:40
right last I got you got my attention and then um they proceed to have a
00:16:47
a meeting a KKK meeting really yeah and that's the film oh it's the beginning of the film you
00:16:54
said it was a comedy or is it a horror to me it's a comedy it sounds hilarious to me
00:17:00
yeah and then um that's the meeting there's a bunch of old white women in the room well not even all just it
00:17:05
ranges from early 20s to late 50s wow these women right and then what's the significance of the pie
00:17:12
what do you mean they ate it but why a pie there is something there's got to be something that's significant well
00:17:18
there's got to be something about the pie right because you could have put a swastik on anything they could have done on Pizza
00:17:24
they could have done it on you know it's sort of lasagna would have been fun it's one of those places
00:17:30
it's a very American thing America how do you do it on the lasagna it's hard to read are you kid you think I've never
00:17:37
put it with the cheese you weirdo and then you flame bro
00:17:42
you wanna come to Wednesday nights I keep saying come to Wednesday nights oh yeah that's when we do the lasagna all
00:17:48
your friends are there though that you know what I mean yeah and we'll sneak you in all right so they put it they put a swastika on the pie that's it by the
00:17:54
way it's not really a uh what do you call this this isn't like a spoiler alert it's on the internet right there yeah they already show it so it's not
00:18:00
that hidden yeah and then um they go and then the a priest walks up to the main
00:18:06
lady and goes get the [ __ ] out of here like I guess they're not even supposed to be there what the priest is like get on here we
00:18:12
got some kids coming in you're gonna go yeah and so the and one of the women goes well let's go to my one of them
00:18:18
owns a store so they go to a store and they see these two they seem maybe
00:18:23
native two girls but they could be Hispanic I don't know that's exactly what the producer said yeah they seem
00:18:31
Hispanic but we don't know we don't know but the Browns We're not gonna say right they're credited as brown people they
00:18:37
could be half mulatto blacks tough word but I love it good for you
00:18:42
what is that that's how you say it I think that's it it's Milano like the cookie oh like Alyssa Milano Pepperidge
00:18:49
Farm Milano is that is Alyssa Milano she is oh yeah that's what they said yeah
00:18:55
that's where it comes from [ __ ] I knew it Milano there's no I knew it there was something I didn't trust about her same
00:19:04
so anyway um and they basically um tell these two girls the store doors
00:19:10
closed while they're in the store yeah then we're just gonna get a wine and they go get the [ __ ] out of here that
00:19:16
type of thing and then they go you have to buy the most expensive wine then and and you know
00:19:22
when you tell a minority that they're like well I can do it so they buy a 300 bottle of wine yeah and then when they
00:19:29
were leaving there was some sort of altercation and then the women go let's go to their house and [ __ ] them up what
00:19:35
why I don't know why that's what this was so infuriating about this movie did this movie do well I think yeah it got
00:19:41
86 on Rotten Tomatoes it was a Southwest sideways yeah it's a tick tock movie so people are
00:19:47
like talking about on Tick Tock okay it's one of those where they're like they can't people can't even get through
00:19:52
it did you get through it we didn't want to but you finished it we're like we look
00:19:58
at it I mean clown look at you like this is so [ __ ] up that's how I feel about succession really every time every time
00:20:05
I start a new episode I'm like I don't want to do this anymore it's exhaust it's like it's taxing it's right am I
00:20:11
wrong it's exhausting it's like abusive will they won't they will they won't they will they won't they it's like so
00:20:17
anyway they go to the they find they go to the woman's house these two their sisters let me guess what swastika pie
00:20:23
they already ate the pie there's got to be another one yeah but they took a [ __ ] so maybe the same time
00:20:29
they did a [ __ ] that's so hard to do pretty Town pretty talented yeah and
00:20:35
then just you know if you want to watch the movie I'm going to give it away now give it away they kill them oh wow
00:20:42
end of move me end of movement
00:20:50
can I get that no no no no no yeah I need another tank end of movie is
00:20:56
powerful I know but that's not what I meant to say that is something yeah yeah what you're saying moved me move me a
00:21:02
movie and have moved me end of movie Jordan hey hey I love doordash because
00:21:09
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let me ask you this yeah let's say you are okay not for you you're sober
00:23:51
you're going to a dinner party of somebody fancy very famous and you got an idea in the name uh Jake Gyllenhaal I
00:23:58
love him I know you do yeah let's say he says Bob I want you to come over for dinner I don't tell a story Jake Gyllenhaal tell another story
00:24:06
what do you break it up what do you bring to Jake Gyllenhaal's house why do I have to bring anything so this is
00:24:12
interesting yeah you didn't even think about it you so you wouldn't show up to JJ's house with something as a as like a
00:24:18
you know hey thank you for having us if he's like we're doing a UFC party why would I bring gloves I mean what the
00:24:24
[ __ ] do I bring well most people bring booze or food or a gift of some kind of unique fun
00:24:29
thing I've never brought anything to anyone but what I'm telling you is you want to leave a better impression because you're
00:24:34
such a lovable fun guy if you also bring something they'll remember it forever it'll be all right it'll be like man I
00:24:40
love Bobby Lee and you know what he did yeah he brought over a slinky just one Slinky and he gave it to him whoa that
00:24:46
would stay in there for the am I wrong for the rest of time because your presence is wonderful and then if you
00:24:51
gave something small and fun I know what Rubik's Cube but I will switch out a couple of the colors genius so that they
00:24:57
could never get that inside there's like one more green than red so they're just confused like we can never solve this
00:25:04
what would you give as a fun gift of going to a famous person's house what's a fun Jake Gyllenhaal it doesn't matter for you just make it up whoever it is
00:25:10
but what's the fun little quirky gift oh maybe origami you would make origami
00:25:15
for them no I'd bring a bunch of paper and some instructions and then everyone could do it together and it'd be like a
00:25:22
funny sounds like another Kitchen Story whoa
00:25:27
that could be fun so you would bring them work no but some people think it's fun yeah well um you were doing origami
00:25:35
the whole trip the whole time on the bus on the bus how many did you make there was a bunch on this there were seven on
00:25:40
the windows on the windowsill of the same Animal by the way lazy
00:25:46
just respect it but you did a swan we've said been there done that you know but
00:25:52
it was like a handicapped swamp I know I know it's like One Wing One Wing was I thought it was a [ __ ] T-Rex yeah
00:25:58
because the neck was crooked it was all cricked with the winds wings but um what would you bring to a nice party oh
00:26:04
that's easy drugs drugs what kind though I probably bring mushrooms and maybe so
00:26:09
that's kind of other stuff like oh yeah you're gonna show up to Jake Jones I have mushrooms they don't do drugs I guarantee you he likes mushrooms I'd be
00:26:16
willing to bet my bank account Jake gyllenheld my cosmosis at all might be the guy with mushrooms and if there's
00:26:21
like hot girls or some guys they'd be like oh he's the guy with the mushrooms yeah what about you fans
00:26:27
I would bring a nice bottle of wine right but this is the state that's what I'm saying that's a standard answer when
00:26:33
he brought up the wine in the shop I thought why is this go-to thing and by the way every time I brought wine to somewhere they don't give a [ __ ] so now
00:26:40
I don't do it anymore I bring a unique thing for something fun I know it was cube without a [ __ ] thing it's
00:26:47
[ __ ] something fun level up level up something fun and interesting and new mushrooms is you obviously you would
00:26:54
bring that look at you right but surprise them okay here we go you're a writer so go
00:27:03
ahead hey easy one would be swastika pie
00:27:08
swastik Empire is really anything there probably is a lot of swastika stuff on eBay so I would get them like a belt
00:27:13
with a swastika on it cool very cool very cool the other thing that I do is
00:27:20
cook in something Spanish that is very unique empanadas tortilla
00:27:32
listen if you're listening right now you want to invite me to your party I'm gonna surprise you with something fun what am I going to bring
00:27:39
I'll tell you what I know what I would do again go ahead I would bring one single shoe of a child whoa a little
00:27:46
tiny shoe whoa and you know what I'd hand it to him but never talk about it ever again or dress up as a movie
00:27:52
character for one of his movies see this is funny I know what I'm gonna do what I would as a wave
00:28:00
what a gigantic wave from what oh I know I've seen that movie Day After Tomorrow yeah oh very good but you know because
00:28:08
it's it's it right you'd be like what I go remember
00:28:13
he would yeah he would remember he's like and then I'm just sitting there watching UFC in a wave of Costco
00:28:25
it wasn't a frozen wave it did freeze it did eventually there is a scene where
00:28:31
a wave a gigantic waves yeah that's it what are they called you should know tsunamis there it is they
00:28:38
can go what is what's the root origin of tsunami why is it called a tsunami do you know it's a Japanese word
00:28:44
yeah go on and in Japanese it translates to Big Wave big wave that's right we
00:28:50
added the tea used to be called tsunami but we added the tea yeah we wanted to be a little different to Tsunami exactly
00:28:56
because it sounds like you know Sashimi tsunami you had to separate it yeah if
00:29:02
you were Jake what would you what character would you dress up as uh well
00:29:10
yeah by the way no he might listen to this and also invite you to his house one day yeah so what movie character probably the rabbit from Donnie Darko
00:29:17
I'd really stand out and people be like who's that great movie and then I'd sit next to you the whole time because I
00:29:23
know you or if Tom Hanks what would you dress up as Tom Hanks you know I just realized I wanted to dress up as I I want I don't
00:29:30
want to be the animal from okay hey look at the animal from okja
00:29:35
remember okija remember that movie yeah big huh the pig yeah it's a pig it's a big oversized pig that's what I want to
00:29:41
be from okacha Super Pig and who's in that movie he is Jake Jake yeah he's
00:29:47
he's the pig oh he is no no but I want to be a big people that you know what that well you could go to wherever that
00:29:53
girl's name Bobby Lee tell me that's not me and you when we go out for a night on the town
00:29:59
yeah you think we don't look like that to most people yeah I've actually walked into a restaurant I've heard somebody go okay they think that it's you and me out
00:30:06
on the town yeah that looks more like Falcor from Neverending Story than than anything else so a Tom Hanks movie what
00:30:12
would you show up as as a character that's good Philadelphia's easy isn't it
00:30:17
I know well though point right if I know we would like try
00:30:24
to beat each other who would be more aidsy yeah I'd be way I doubt AIDS you I know what I would do that no chance you
00:30:32
know I would get AIDS good I would get AIDS and I would wait a
00:30:37
year and who would you get it from what me there way ahead of you pal yeah what
00:30:43
Tom Hanks movie would you do I'd be like a FedEx delivery driver well from what from Castaway oh okay
00:30:51
that's a long stretch that's a stretch to stretch oh yeah he was uh but he was he was like a more corporate level in
00:30:56
there he was never wearing the outfit yeah he wasn't he wasn't he was on the plane character he played no but yeah
00:31:04
then you have to explain like well I know you're not a FedEx I mean you were corporate but I'll be the snowman
00:31:12
from uh the uh the train from Elvis what Elvis man you're stretching all this
00:31:18
[ __ ] [ __ ] it seems to me you haven't seen a lot of time experience but I don't want to be it from The Burbs
00:31:25
I'm just being a dad and then they just place a lot of like old men mankind Auto
00:31:32
big as he literally is playing an older man well he's playing you could show up as a mermaid
00:31:37
but that's not him that's that's from Splash it doesn't matter it's front but he'll get a half to play yeah it's just
00:31:44
something he'll get it fine I'll be Forrest Gump no no again yeah hacky okay
00:31:50
one of the weird little bugs from The Green Mile that comes out of the big guy's mouth you could be that that's kind of reality see what I mean that's
00:31:59
more up your ass yeah I'll be the bug this is a fun game
00:32:04
what Tom Hanks movie how about this what what other actor give me let's do another one uh what I was gonna say Tom
00:32:11
Cruise oh Sandra Bullock oh okay that's a good one I would show up was she The
00:32:16
Blind Side yeah I would be Michael Oher I'd show up as a big black guy and I would commit I'd do ball blackface yeah
00:32:22
and I would gain 600 pounds whoa whoa you know what I would do well it's for the party
00:32:27
yeah you gotta keep me and Eric Griffin together [Laughter] would play
00:32:33
a boss [Laughter] from speed
00:32:39
I couldn't do it by myself but if Eric was like the the bulk of it he's the bus yeah yeah and I could be on his shoulder
00:32:45
as a as a driver yeah Bobby choo choo man yeah yeah that's true that's a pretty good one yeah that is very good
00:32:51
what would you do I've never seen any of her movies Sandy you never seen a Sandy flick no I have
00:32:56
um I'd probably be like uh Miss Congeniality love me a good Sandy flick
00:33:02
by the way yeah she's one that like we can't lose that's the most likable she's so non-offensive I know but you
00:33:09
then you find out that she's like addicted to Fentanyl and she's nodding out on uh what's it called in Philly
00:33:14
have you seen her no they caught her on the side of the street look at Philly Philly fentanyl they got look up Sandra
00:33:20
Bullock Philadelphia fentanyl she's on the street they caught her doing fentanyl on the side of the street nodding off it's insane do videos you'll
00:33:27
see it it's not heard it's Gotta Be it can't be her two images It's gotta be you'll see her oh
00:33:33
yeah look right there in the top fifth sixth photo up keep right boom that's
00:33:39
her in Philly she's uh no it's not dude you're seeing stuff and
00:33:44
then this one there it is not looking good she's been nodding off on fentanyl no buddy you don't believe me that's
00:33:51
your choice he's just walking down the street man on fentanyl okay look at what this is what's going on in Philly uh he
00:33:58
knows by the way have you seen what is going on in Philadelphia no the show go to Just Google search Philadelphia
00:34:05
fentanyl I don't even know the name of the street but there's a prominent Street in Philly where people are
00:34:10
nodding off on the side of the road but that's every American city no no this one's like crazy it's crazy bad
00:34:17
but people are like halfway up like that guy go down a little bit down uh fourth row down down down down one more one
00:34:22
more down this one so this is what everybody looks like now everybody is half nodding they're
00:34:28
there's their it's like they're trying to suck their own dick but they're trying to stay away you know what you should do when we're there fentanyl yeah we're going to
00:34:35
Philly and then when they're walking down the
00:34:42
street we could do a thriller thing [Applause]
00:34:50
oh
00:35:05
[Laughter]
00:35:19
cause this is [Laughter]
00:35:25
I gotta tell you [Laughter]
00:35:32
it's terrible that's terrible it's terrible yeah there's it that's what it is
00:35:37
Kensington right look look that up oh that's it Kensington Avenue in Philly it's the most prominent area of fentanyl
00:35:44
use oh my God so sad so tragic it's wild but they are it does look like Thriller
00:35:50
[Laughter] imagine if one guy was not enough and
00:35:56
you walk by him he just popped him when [Laughter] Jesus because this is fentanyl yeah yeah
00:36:04
um hey should we bring in our Our Guest we got a guest that's here he just showed up he's here right is he here
00:36:10
he's here bring him the [ __ ] on in I forgot who it was good friend of ours one of our favorite homies on Earth Jay
00:36:18
Larson oh the Jay Larson
00:36:26
Jay Lawson sit down there you live still on the west side or what I'm on the west side yeah yeah you like it over there
00:36:32
yeah I love it can I just say my favorite thing is that there's not even glass right there they're just like in a takeout window
00:36:38
yeah yeah that's what they do with the Hispanics okay first of all you made it about you
00:36:45
made it racial and although that may be true we don't need to communicate that to the public right don't make it about
00:36:50
race yeah you're back there because you're below us that's why I do love that he's the whitest Hispanic I've ever
00:36:56
seen in my life they both are Carlos is Mexican that is Carlos and Andres we couldn't
00:37:02
find more light-skinned Spanish people on Earth that's what they said in the ad
00:37:07
yeah let's play a game do you remember um the one time that you were mad at me
00:37:14
oh I want to hear it oh yeah but I think there's more than one no that's the only I could only think of one but you you
00:37:21
know the more than one time you were mad at me time no I remember yeah when
00:37:27
plural times when we were going to run your special and you didn't show up that time
00:37:32
do you know what's funny what I just went on a date with a girl and we matched on a dating app went on a date
00:37:38
and she's like yeah you know I uh the the first time I started being interested oh actually I never want to
00:37:44
do yes I did she goes I started being interested in you and she was I went to see Bobby leave run his hour and he didn't show up and I remember everyone
00:37:50
was so bummed that Bobby wasn't there but then you went up and you had such a great set and I was like who's this guy amazing stolen stolen right out from
00:37:58
under you but the thing is I love Bobby Lee and always always have and I was
00:38:03
more I wasn't mad at you I just wanted you to care more because I I think everybody loves watching you do stand up
00:38:10
that's right like a good story though sounds like a great story was mad at me for a little
00:38:15
while though how long were you mad at Bob for not long maybe two two and a half years
00:38:20
[Laughter]
00:38:25
the weirdness between us I think no because yeah because you're you're [ __ ] weird as [ __ ] yeah you're weird
00:38:31
that's unsalting oh wait a minute
00:38:37
he just learned unsalted so he gets these confused all right because it says when we go out if something's unsalted
00:38:43
he goes that's insulting and I go Bob it's unsalted and he'll just mix these things up yeah yeah are you trying to
00:38:49
honestly look are you trying to say that for any genuine you're not strange you're strange in a good way no you
00:38:56
don't think you're strange at all listen I'm gonna say Bobby uh Bobby is right by the way write it down
00:39:04
Bobby 100 Bobby now I think you've grown a lot emotionally in that it used to be
00:39:10
that you come up and you'd be like hey buddy and you give a hug and then you try to slap me in the dick and then you would leave and now you come up and you
00:39:16
genuine look at me like hey how are you you know what I mean that you're grown as a man that's great would you say that's I'm fine will you say this then
00:39:23
yeah that was once weird yeah I think you were just worried about
00:39:28
about you would you thought I was gonna be mad at you and so you were gonna be awkward but I was like I still love you
00:39:34
bro yeah yeah I just don't want any [ __ ] bad feelings between us was there another time that I'm that we no
00:39:40
no no not at all I imagine there was all right there's a let me get those
00:39:45
Santino had me prep he's like falling out falling out to other Comics before
00:39:51
um yeah yeah but I don't look at this as a falling out with you yeah it's funny I have falling out so every comic has
00:39:57
falling outs with other comments yeah it's a part of the world or the business of like she's too young to know it yeah
00:40:03
you have your daddy not like no like I've drifted away from people but I think that's different though we're talking about no thank you
00:40:11
don't need to see you ever again no no that happens in our business because we're too close we're on top of each
00:40:16
other all the time yeah so you eventually go no thank you I'm okay and then you've got to navigate it because
00:40:22
sometimes they're famous or whatever and they're doing well so it's like you do it in your own way By ignoring yeah well we all have our
00:40:29
own way but you know for the most part I have a list I know you have a list of what of people you don't like
00:40:35
no Jay if you're going over to a famous man
00:40:42
or woman's house they invite you to a dinner party what are you bringing I mean you got to bring a bottle of wine
00:40:48
right that was the initial thing was why they're not gonna want you to bring food but but we said nowadays they don't even
00:40:53
care about the wine no one gives a [ __ ] anymore they [ __ ] it off they usually go oh hey thank you yeah and then they throw it away so we said you got to
00:41:00
bring something else a little bit more fun all right memorable I already said a Rubik's Cube missing a couple colors
00:41:08
that's not what I'm starting with I was thinking maybe you bring like uh you make like a pre-made high-end cocktail
00:41:15
for everyone if we're not [ __ ] with wine we're like but if they're if they're bougie and they do it right
00:41:21
they're gonna have everything dialed in food and drink wise anyway so maybe the Rubik's is the play I don't know about missing the colors no you want to find
00:41:28
out missing we add extra colors yeah they'll never be able to solve it got it
00:41:33
yeah it's Unstoppable but you think they're gonna just sit down like hey guys everybody hold up we got a Rubik's
00:41:39
let's solve this real quick you know those guys can solve it in six seconds yeah Rick lastman can yeah yeah anybody
00:41:45
with autism I think that's part of the time they can do it it's like you're born with what's the world record on
00:41:50
solving a ruby I'll tell you right now what give it before I look it up I'll say it's 3.8 seconds I'm gonna say four
00:41:59
seven four seven I'd say seven point four seven seconds I was thinking minutes originally well
00:42:05
go for it then stick to your bad answer minutes don't bail out on a shitty answer I know it's wrong now with your
00:42:10
guesses Rubik's Cube World Record talented nine-year-old Chinese six nines
00:42:18
have you ever seen this can you just put show them how you're not gonna believe this [ __ ]
00:42:23
it I've never solved one I mean either have you ever solved I've had one never
00:42:29
all my life I it's still not I've never solved it and I don't care if I ever do I don't ever want yeah I threw it I am I
00:42:36
gotta be honest I'm blown away he's Chinese [Laughter] I mean of all the places I think yeah he
00:42:44
would be from that's not that's a white that's my just to see him do it that's an old standard white right
00:42:50
ready look at it that's 4.22 this is the new world record
00:42:58
wow holy [ __ ] my favorite is when they they you see how he picked it up at first and looks at it yeah they look at
00:43:04
it they get time to like look at it so they have they have like under a thing then you get a chance to look at it and then they put it down like all right I'm
00:43:10
ready so they they process what it looks like and then they go but I feel like there's got to be a category where you
00:43:17
don't get to look at it first because that to me seems like the real challenge not looking all right well am I wrong
00:43:22
hard enough then make it hard enough you know you know what's so funny about the human mind I bet you at some point in
00:43:29
the future not looking at it and looking at it they'll be able to beat the looking at it before because that's how
00:43:34
dedicated the mind is or there's just going to be two records there'll be two records right yeah well he looked at it
00:43:42
you might have to cut it out no no leave it in all right leave it in so um notice the people are doing they're all
00:43:48
skinny a fact I wouldn't be able to do it I'd be thinking about food the whole time
00:43:53
oh is that what it is I don't I think so you have to be nimble no is that controversial all right look Google is
00:43:58
there any fat Rubik's Cube I love it this is controversial for you well well I've said some things yeah
00:44:05
yeah it doesn't always work that way though because the hot dog Champion is skinny Joey Chestnut yeah but the
00:44:11
inside's fat no yeah no he's skinny fat there is a thing called skinny fat where where he's
00:44:17
his he he's bigger than you than he looks he's not fat but he's just got more space than no I mean they're pretty
00:44:23
skinny I think some of them have seen anything really skinny I don't even understand how does he even find out
00:44:28
that that's the skill set that he has see that that's a this is another thing like with with sports with sports you go
00:44:34
you can see athleticism started you go wow the kids got a thing of the thing this is a dare like in college like she
00:44:42
said for real we uh Del Taco used to have 25 cent tacos on Tuesday night so we would go to the dorm and there's a
00:44:48
couple of guys we would all usually just get a few tacos but there's a couple of guys that were like I'm gonna see how many I can eat and they would battle and
00:44:55
whoever ate more the other guy would pay for him and there was one dude on our Hall that was a little tizzy he had a
00:45:01
little tism interesting cat wouldn't look you in the eyes little tizzy looked you on a third button down sweet kid he
00:45:07
could eat like 20 tacos no [ __ ] from Del Taco House them 20 tacos and still be
00:45:13
fine didn't like pass out a throw up he felt ill but it was fine and I think it's one of those moments like that that
00:45:19
people go I think I have a weird capability of eating way too much food go to a full body one you can't tell
00:45:25
from the um bigger than you think he he's got a pistachio commercial right now he does the joke
00:45:31
not big he might have that like look at those arms your gut you know but he's just I think he's got a break maybe his
00:45:38
can is good so a good time yeah seed oh my God probiotic is so important for your stomach you got to be able to move
00:45:44
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00:45:50
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00:45:55
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00:46:01
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00:47:08
in college we used to go to parties if we went to a frat house and they'd have
00:47:13
a pool room they'd always had a pool table we'd steal one ball we'd always steal one ball did you ever get the full
00:47:19
set no no no we'd always just like to steal a ball because it would [ __ ] because you now they have to go get yeah
00:47:25
and you can't buy one ball Amazon didn't exist back then some pledge got his ass handed I know I love it we used to steal
00:47:31
one ball all the time my dad fired three employees because of me and I never told anyone why because I sold 14 Grand for my dad's
00:47:38
safe time out hold up what the [ __ ] Bobby I used to steal a pool ball you stole 14
00:47:45
000 not in one shot even still what was your what was your like average when I was using when I wasn't using it when I
00:47:52
was 17 when I was using drugs okay every Friday my dad would he had six clothing stores in San Diego Fashion Gal right so
00:47:59
he would go he would go to Every fashion kill and pick up money in these brown paper bags
00:48:06
that were stapled and then bring it back to our house put in the safe and then
00:48:11
Monday would deposit I don't know why he did it that way and you knew the safe combination no I said I had to my
00:48:17
license so I'll do that for you Dad scumbag right so I would go I would get I bought a stapler and it opened the bag
00:48:24
I would take a couple hundred bucks out what's so funny I love the big investment was a stapler for this whole
00:48:29
operation now let's staple it back together and he in his mind he thought it was like his
00:48:36
employees so he fired them so three three jobs yeah yeah and now sorry
00:48:42
I had to do math and now your dad is dead because of all this yeah he knows now probably wherever
00:48:48
he is wait you think he's dead for the stress from the firings yeah because he knew those people were good people had nothing to do with that yeah no and I
00:48:54
think his dad died honestly because those people were good people he knew it he felt bad and he thought something was afoot
00:49:00
and sure enough but you stole you think you stole around ten to fourteen thousand dollars yeah a lot did you yeah
00:49:07
how much you know I usually steal from my dad my dad kept his wallet in in his uh in his top sock drawer and if it
00:49:14
wasn't on him and it was in there I know that's because he's in the shower or he always kept his wallet on him like he
00:49:20
did you wouldn't know because you heard the shower running if I knew he was in the shower I could get in yeah go get the wallet but he would always keep like
00:49:27
he always kept cash but he would keep a couple hundred bucks in his wallet at any given time but if he had broken 100 during the day I could snipe a 20 or two
00:49:34
out of there but if I took a hundred he'd beat the [ __ ] he would know Hunter did you ever get caught one time he said something to me about I
00:49:41
think he had asked he he forgot if he gave me money to get me and my sister pizza and he's like did I give you uh
00:49:48
cash for that and I was like I think yeah I think you did and he's like did you give me the change and I was like I think I did give him a
00:49:55
chance and he's like yeah I'm short a little bit of money did you you gave me the change and then I immediately got to
00:50:01
my room and then I oh I found it yeah he knew in my jeans very good very good I
00:50:07
found it Dad I'm sorry that was but then I think he put it together he I that I must have been sniping but a hundred
00:50:12
dollar bill would have never that's insane well he'd punched me if I in just for
00:50:19
regular days but in the face or just like in the
00:50:24
shoulders body shots I got a body shot no he wouldn't he wouldn't punch me I don't know I don't I actually don't know
00:50:30
like every kid steals from their parents I don't know what they would have done if they found out that I was thievering did you guys steal did they have that in
00:50:37
Mexico no what about in Spain you don't steal from your parents you don't steal at all are pesos coins hold on did your
00:50:43
parents have money yeah look at him yeah okay well if your parents have the money to give you then
00:50:49
it's a different story but if you're like right needing to get something you know oh my god did you ever steal money no I did still Vicodin
00:50:59
no my stepdad had a pill pill bottle in the in the bathroom and I would just get
00:51:05
one pill at a time similar to your story I wouldn't take the whole thing can't you take the whole thing a little bit off the top yeah I know you're from
00:51:11
Arizona oh yeah yeah we're going for money you're going for pills yeah I never stole money I stole money when I worked at the coffee shop when people
00:51:17
wouldn't tip I would like add a dollar to the receipt
00:51:37
he yelled at me he goes I know you're [ __ ] drinking he goes and he started putting a red marker where he left it
00:51:42
off and I would fill it with water So eventually it was just water oh my God
00:51:48
yeah yeah I never stole from my roommate you never did I never stole from roommates I was always so scared of that
00:51:53
thing yeah I mean well I liked them you didn't like it yeah no no I was like but also I the only time I ever had an
00:52:00
inclination was I wanted a new phone and
00:52:06
I couldn't afford it and they gave me rent because I was the responsible one and I thought I should just
00:52:13
and not give the rent money and then we'll figure it out later but I didn't do it when you're poor though I remember
00:52:19
doing I was 24 or when I was like I need a phone so bad and I was gonna do it I
00:52:25
didn't do it I'm glad I didn't do it but I really thought about because when you have the cash in your hand you're like I
00:52:30
Never Gonna know yeah what would you do then you would have to make up the money though no yeah but I at that point
00:52:36
you're you're so you're so horny from the thing that you're running on that high yeah yeah you don't care you're
00:52:42
just gonna do it I mean we used to steal I've talked on the show I used to steal from McDonald's constantly yeah my buddy
00:52:47
Chris got they got fired for stealing cash we just steal food and sometimes a couple of bucks but we call them
00:52:53
stealing they would steal those guys got fired they stole a couple hundred bucks uh every week I think they would I mean
00:52:59
they were I did too when I was bartending you would like bartending it's part of par for the course you have to steal when you bartend it's part of
00:53:05
the game it's part of the game you remember do you remember uh the hell is his name Pete Johansen oh
00:53:11
yeah he used to work at um the Roxbury on Sunset back in the 90s
00:53:16
and his bar manager would come over to him at the beginning of the night and be like make sure you're taking a little for yourself tonight because you're not
00:53:22
taking a little you're taking a lot wow and that's like what goes down
00:53:27
when you're but when you're poor the kind of fights you have with the roommates are ridiculous it's like
00:53:33
everyone we had a phone bill and my I was living in Silverlake and looked at the phone bill goes who called Santa
00:53:38
Monica Santa Monica I'm not paying the three cents I mean it's like like that those
00:53:45
kind of fights oh yeah because you're so hungry and you have no money oh we used to fight the toilet paper fight was
00:53:50
endless it was endless because it was like I'm not buying it it's like well I'm not [ __ ] but I'm not buying until
00:53:56
you get a bathroom that's of your own when I was sharing bathrooms always an argument in a fight I already bought it you [ __ ] you buy it I'm I bought and
00:54:03
then finally one of you gets an office job and you're like I'm gonna steal it from the office so we I'd steal toilet paper from my office constantly I'd
00:54:09
literally get it back yeah I will load up on whatever I could get from the office yeah and then come back home and
00:54:15
I'd have toilet paper turkey there's always deli meat and all Cuts
00:54:21
you know yeah I would there's always deli meat there's always somebody go get some PA had to go get down to me so I get toilet paper turkey uh pens and
00:54:28
printer paper and printer ink I used to steal printers gold I used to steal that constantly from the old office wow and
00:54:33
they never questioned it because the guy wasn't keeping inventory he would just put it on the thing to go get and then assume an executive was just printing a
00:54:41
lot of scripts we ever you guys are ever on point where you didn't eat at all like you were just starving yeah
00:54:46
literally starving when I first moved for days I would say just to the point where I ate Ramen for
00:54:53
like a week and a half straight every day yeah but I but I did it for I would do
00:54:59
um ramen in the morning and then at night I try to at least like buy like a from the grocery store or the 7-Eleven I
00:55:05
mean not the grocery store I buy like an old sandwich you know first of all right old what do you mean like
00:55:11
throwing that out of a half price dude at 7-Eleven let me tell you everything there's all everything is always made
00:55:18
premises nothing's new yeah well let me say this now that you're so you're both single Bobby how
00:55:25
is what is it like is it are you miserable are you killing it wasn't life so aggressive tell me Well
00:55:33
clear I'm not sucking dude's tongues right now is it going well Jay it's what it is you
00:55:38
know when you have kids and it's not it's a different situation you know yeah what about you no
00:55:49
he's having a tough time why I think he doesn't really uh his standards are
00:55:55
ridiculous and my standards too high and then he meets somebody that is probably wonderful and he just bails on him or he
00:56:02
just checks out I mean like he did for his when he was a surprise like for your hours
00:56:09
but he does but he needs advice help him out with this I mean what are your standards why they have to be so high
00:56:16
because he's a special Little Prince I don't know maybe it's um I don't know I I just I like what I see you know what
00:56:22
I mean yeah dude I know it but yeah yeah I think I'm like with even with the
00:56:27
weight I'm like a seven seven and a half I feel like you're a solid like four five five right you say 45.
00:56:35
well I know but I think don't you think what you do for a living raises that I think yeah I think people enjoy laughter
00:56:42
and charm and you have that and you are adorable yeah yeah you know what I mean so yeah but I mean I think it comes down
00:56:48
to sometimes you just like what do you think's Bob's flaw juice and and why he hasn't found a new thing
00:56:55
well for one I think it's okay to have high standards yeah thank you I think you you know what you want and you
00:57:02
shouldn't settle um but you mean you've been talking for a quick smash but for a quick smash
00:57:09
stay with quick smash that's where I was going next well I mean Carlos is good at quick Smasher probably he'll smash
00:57:15
anything no that's not true you've seen me with hot girls but I've seen it with other ones as well that's true yeah no thank you
00:57:22
well when you were wrestling do you wear a mouth guard do you remember when you're back in the days and they'd throw it in a boiling [ __ ] [ __ ] pot of
00:57:29
water you always did that just bite down on it and your dad was like it's not that hot it's steaming hot yeah and
00:57:34
you'd singe the roof of your [ __ ] mouth with it I have always hated doing those I was like just let me use an old
00:57:39
one he's like you can't you got to get a new one the old ones are don't work and you sit there he'd boil it my daddy he
00:57:45
would take it on me like oh out here put it in your mouth shove it in your skull yeah yeah send
00:57:51
your mouth drop it hated it the dropping the weight for the tournament before is the worst well you're wearing
00:57:57
you know I mean what do you call it the um sweat suit not a sweatsuit but we were plastic bag like a suit and then we
00:58:03
go in a dry soda like garbage bags the garbage bags yeah and then we would have to like sweat it out so what age did you
00:58:09
wrestle till you know he was really good do you know this I just and his brother was really good too yeah I'm athletic no
00:58:15
seriously they were really good I'm super athletic well that that's again don't do that we've talked about this that's not true you're good at some
00:58:21
things athletic means you have a broad range of athleticism across the board that's what it means that's literally yeah look at
00:58:27
what the [ __ ] athletic means what do you think of me what other sports are you good at
00:58:33
I was on tennis team in high school the physical equalities that are characteristic of athletes such as strength Fitness and Agility so you're
00:58:39
not across those boards I could be if I wanted to be well and if and that's the thing agility quick as [ __ ] bro like the
00:58:46
flash still that's me dude I'm all over the place right what's the other one I
00:58:53
like that I could be of strength Fitness and Agility so yeah I could do all that [ __ ] I just don't want to I like pizza
00:58:58
yeah and if I was black I'd be in the NBA I don't like that's such a bad argument I could no because it was if
00:59:04
you're making me mad because the thing is that I'm not I could prove it to you but I don't want to it's [ __ ] then
00:59:09
then it's fake no because just because I don't want to prove it it's not real then all right it's not real if you want
00:59:16
to show me your Athletics are you athletic don't insult me don't insult me on our
00:59:22
show are you athletic he's athletic 100 I'm Athletics me too then no you're [ __ ] not because you play golf I play
00:59:28
many sports my whole life no you didn't you played you wrestled and that was in a team what years on these things oh I
00:59:35
was on the High School tennis you look at the yearbooks wrestling yeah get the yearbook he acts like it's the Wikipedia page for
00:59:43
it I have I have photos on my Instagram one year of tennis no years I played with Michael Chang I was good look at
00:59:49
look at that that's me and my brother wrestling that's fine first of all it's a picture of you in wrestling uniform 35 years ago
00:59:56
yeah no that was in high school 35 years ago and then look at look look at the third photo up there
01:00:04
Triple H Triple A is that for Mad TV that's a
01:00:11
high school [ __ ] yeah that's a hike that guy yeah well it's on you see the photo [ __ ] face yeah no [ __ ] but you're
01:00:17
in the same weight class that got me break dancing dude wrestling break dancing I do it all he is multifaceted
01:00:24
break dancing is athletic let's be honest there he is eating chicken wings there he is eating chicken wings scroll
01:00:30
down that's who you are yeah now that's you that's the Bob I love and I
01:00:36
know that guy right there uh Jay Larson is a good old friend of ours we've both
01:00:42
known for a long time who's a hilarious comedian and we would highly recommend you please watch uh Jay Larson's special
01:00:50
on YouTube we'll link it yeah fans link it please in the description I appreciate that
01:00:55
boys it's called sounds like Bruce okay which is a which is a phrase from
01:01:00
arguably not just Jay's one of the best jokes I've ever uh ever heard if you know it you know it if you've seen it on
01:01:06
the internet people probably some people I'm assume a lot of people already know uh but it's a good call call to one of
01:01:13
the best jokes I've seen on the internet what is this thanks pal Bobby sent this to me
01:01:23
Bobby sent us to me and said we gotta go to church
01:01:29
you sent this to me I did not tell you that I'll show you the deal I think I did yeah you did yeah and he said we
01:01:36
need Jesus we need Jesus this man is just beating his patrons
01:01:41
with a belt and they're taking it yeah that's a Sunday morning by the way where
01:01:49
is it what's that do you know where it is Temecula
01:01:55
Temecula California my friend no um I don't we don't know I don't know where it's from he said it to me and just said
01:02:01
we got to go to church yeah I just felt like the the Lord calling me to get beat
01:02:06
you want to get beat in public I deserve it you think so yeah a little a little uh don't you deserve it I think it's
01:02:12
pretty dogmatic to want pain and pleasure and all I get I get what you it means to you it's one of those things
01:02:18
where you kind of go you know how you see a cooking show you go oh I'd love to eat that Meatloaf right I want to know what that feels like
01:02:25
to be in a church and get beat by your preacher well I mean it's not like you he's repeatedly doing it so maybe one swag you know my my buns will jiggle
01:02:32
just one swack of it's fine yeah don't you think yeah and we just want to know what that feels like let me make amends
01:02:38
real fast all right sorry okay go ahead you are athletic no it's okay look at me I've seen you I've seen you do things
01:02:44
that are very athletic okay and you're strong and you're smart no and I care
01:02:49
about you no no and you have a good penis a regular nice regular penis okay
01:02:54
okay no you don't want it I don't want it man you really made me mad shut up
01:02:59
yeah shut up [ __ ] you no [ __ ] you you shut up you're acting like a [ __ ] guy
01:03:05
I just said it's nice stuff to you I know but you no and then you said no that's 45 minutes your week you got
01:03:11
nothing I didn't say week once I didn't say got nothing once did I think podcast your week you got nothing did I say any
01:03:16
anything like that no it was just implied it's implication yeah you I you don't think I can take implications I
01:03:22
know what they mean what do they mean that means I could read through the lines between the lines what do you mean what what is calling me a little [ __ ]
01:03:29
no I'm not no I'm not and you when you get together with your white jockey friends
01:03:52
the only reason I say you couldn't be a jockey is because they're very athletic they're very they're very athletic let's
01:03:57
see what you guys do when you guys get together no one could you try me dude what do you mean try you oh you come to
01:04:04
my podcast and you [ __ ] treat me like that both of you he's been saying it was his the whole time yeah I know he thinks
01:04:09
it's his all right all of you in the room hear me roar we love you hear me
01:04:15
[ __ ] you need to slow down you're a part of the whole thing
01:04:20
no I've had enough of it I'm drawing the line right now right I'm 51 I'm athletic
01:04:25
I could be you're right you could be yeah even I choose not to I agree I like that all right hey I will [ __ ] you guys
01:04:32
out one day thank you for being a bad man man [Music]
01:04:45
laughs [Music]
