Search Captions & Ask AI

Rudy & Fancy's Betrayal | Ep 91 | Bad Friends

November 15, 2021 / 01:12:05

This episode features discussions about birthday celebrations, gifts, and personal anecdotes. Guests include comedian Doc, who shares stories about his life and experiences.

The hosts joke about their recent trip to Mexico, with Bobby and Andrew reminiscing about the fun they had, while Rudy's absence is noted. They also discuss the chaos of their first show in Mexico, contrasting it with the success of their second show.

Doc shares insights about his daily life, including caring for his 99-year-old aunt with dementia. The conversation shifts to humorous exchanges about relationships and dating, particularly focusing on Doc's experiences.

The hosts engage in playful banter about a recent podcast appearance by Rudy, leading to a light-hearted confrontation about loyalty and friendship. They also touch on the absurdity of certain situations, including jokes about their physical appearances and a mock threat to a rival podcast.

Throughout the episode, the hosts maintain a comedic tone, blending personal stories with humor and camaraderie, making for an entertaining discussion.

TL;DR

Bobby, Andrew, and Doc celebrate birthdays, share personal stories, and engage in humorous banter about their lives and friendships.

Episode

1:12:05
00:00:00
you two are bad friends you are these two idiots white dude i'm an asian dude
00:00:06
you two are disgusting well you two or something we're bad friends
00:00:12
happy birthday
00:00:20
why do you have to steal the show you can't just it can't just be a group thing
00:00:26
wait stop this is plural bad friends
00:00:32
can i make a comment before may i make a comment real quick of course it's good to see you number one great to see you had a great time in mexico with you i
00:00:38
had you know what's so funny yeah the best time i had in mexico was with you um not on stage okay we'll talk about in
00:00:45
a second right but the third thing if you ever talk to me like that again i'm going to rip your eyes out [ __ ] all right so um
00:00:52
i wasn't trying to steal focus right i just you know i've heard you know i get nauseous when i hear the same
00:00:58
song over and over again okay so i try to make it my own all right let's do it let's do the black version of happy birthday oh yeah
00:01:04
you know the black person happy birthday no no no no the white version is happy
00:01:11
the black version is happy birthday to you look at life.com happy birthday to
00:01:17
you happy birthday julie you see i'm saying you feel like mommy yeah and fancy got a
00:01:24
cake from porto's favorite okay wait step
00:01:31
one last thing can i complain about one last thing what's that beautiful cake i love porto's right but when i just can i
00:01:36
just say something when i get my cake can i just when i get my cake right i get it from the vaughns
00:01:42
no we got her a porto's cake i don't know when i get a crap because she's important she's a beautiful young
00:01:48
smart fighter like some sort of like we are stationed yeah right aka or cvs where they're not
00:01:55
a bakery all right they're pharmacy we got your cake i get those cakes she gets the chip is for you i said the cheapest
00:02:02
we got you we didn't even get yvonne's we got you john's i know i know we got you jobs yeah and the guy the guy who
00:02:08
made the dr the who did the did like the naming on it the spelling he had cerebral palsy he like couldn't do it
00:02:13
right i was dead serious all right so um your gift is in the mail
00:02:20
what is it how many times stop for a second how many times have i told you that the gift is in the mail and the mail always comes and i get you a gift
00:02:27
um just one time one time how about this bob you said you were gonna get me a
00:02:32
gift for my birthday which was a month for i forgot it and you said it was in the mail you lied you said the exact same
00:02:38
thing was the light but can i say this i'm going through a hard time
00:02:43
it was a month ago my birthday i know i apologize my birthday the next one
00:02:59
all right let me say this yeah two things one we had so much fun in mexico jules i'm sad you weren't there because you would have loved it
00:03:05
uh and the second show was actually great first show was bad second show was great and two so wait and two yeah right
00:03:12
behind you we got the tops of turtle island amazing and i think it's one of the coolest things i've ever seen can you guys see
00:03:17
that on camera yep it's our kids show oh yeah it's the top secret yeah this is great
00:03:22
turtle island and today's the word is haters and our special guest is black magic doc that's you black magic dog
00:03:28
why does rudy have hair on her face she well that's something we wanted to talk to her about yeah yeah honestly she
00:03:34
has like hair on her face yeah she's well we're all muppet we're all muppets yeah but there's no hair here this is
00:03:39
what normal why am i look like emmanuel lewis you look like a man look like a man yeah
00:03:58
all right so first of all i want to give rudy my gift gifts because i got you multiple gifts and the receipts at the bottom in case you want to take any of
00:04:04
it back i am never included on all of this no problem i'm so excited i went shopping
00:04:10
just for you because i saw it i said what really is rudy rudy and look what i got you
00:04:16
show the camera show the camera is that a black barbie ocean barbie it's a barbie that's it's she's brown
00:04:22
from a part of the ocean ocean barbie i ordered ocean barbie for real there's an ocean that's ocean barbie is she dead in
00:04:29
the water is that she she's like she swallows okay and what is that look at that mini little waffle maker
00:04:38
and the last thing is something very just cool it's tiny in there it's just a it's a girl thing
00:04:43
it's a girl thing it's a jade stone roller to make your to keep your face young what because 20 is pushing it has one
00:04:50
well they're dope and you keep them in the fridge and it feels good no they're great yeah yeah um can you give it a nice works would you keep your
00:04:56
[ __ ] you know yeah i mean you're fine you're black yeah yeah yeah old old old red bones over here so look
00:05:03
so check this out ocean barbie she's it literally says on the back she swam here
00:05:08
she swam here and it's nondescript over where she came from but look it's a doll line from recycled ocean-bound plastic
00:05:15
so she was cleaning up plastics while she came here wow isn't that cool so all the lighters i
00:05:20
feed the dolphins they get made into barbies yeah yeah okay so when people are like don't litter in the ocean you're like yeah right we get barbies
00:05:27
out of it right i feel like keep littering is how i feel that's how i feel about it 100 yeah
00:05:32
i'm telling you to keep literally love it but racist you think so on the packaging for some reason i need
00:05:38
to know the race but look what it says on the back what does it say look what it says what this is made from recycled ocean with
00:05:44
that part no scanning here for more hey what hey yeah this is where you make up a joke
00:05:51
can we do it again can i see it yeah you know what it says it says mixed race barbie it said
00:05:56
uh unlike most mixed race barbies this time the dad is white and the mom is
00:06:02
black i love it when that happens that's what it says that is bill burr
00:06:18
do you like ocean barbie i love it awesome but you like the waffle maker you like the waffle maker the most yeah
00:06:23
daddy you make me a waffle saturday morning or what maybe throw some shade throw some shade how
00:06:29
was hawaii island girl it was good yeah yeah you had fun in the sun yeah but i wanted to go to mexico yeah
00:06:37
we wanted you to be there and by the way you know your route they paid for a room for her and everything no and you know what i found out she got the [ __ ]
00:06:44
ocean view i'm not kidding yeah yeah yeah you got a [ __ ] ocean view room we got the jungle view and no one was in
00:06:50
her room i said can i switch and they were like no it's for it's for a woman's it's for a female room yeah i never saw
00:06:56
nicki all week nicki was there for one night oh she was she was there for one i saw her when she got in with andrew and
00:07:02
then they took off she sang taylor swift and went home but we're really appreciative of the people that came out that was really cool it was so much fun
00:07:08
i took a lot of photos and hugged a lot of people and it was a real um you know people they would have recognized you two doc
00:07:14
doc they would have and um i i really believe rudy i mean
00:07:19
jules that you we saved you from a traumatic experience big time that first
00:07:24
show was traumatic it was it was bad it was chaos but it's okay it's okay no
00:07:30
you know what you know what we're warriors we're warriors and we stormed right through no we tr
00:07:35
well first of all afterwards the tent afterwards yeah i have never seen you so sad
00:07:41
i mean there was one point where i was just kind of like it was hot so i'm just laying there sweating and
00:07:47
just figuring out what the [ __ ] just happened yeah and i look over to andrew and andrew looked like
00:07:54
yeah i had my i had my head straight down and my hands on my knees with his hands down like this in between my legs like it wasn't like a thinking man it
00:08:01
was more like i killed myself man i killed myself yeah i mean like it looked so sad i was very depressed i looked
00:08:07
down my goal you all right man and you go i'm not i'm not yeah we let them down i kept saying we definitely i've waited
00:08:14
like i felt y'all figured y'all left let them down what happened just because they were professionals okay doc the [ __ ] equipment was broken
00:08:21
and they tried to [ __ ] railroad us yeah that's right right and we survived we survived right and then in saturday
00:08:27
when we did the show again right we made sure that that was not going to happen and it didn't happen and it didn't happen it was amazing okay so i'm going
00:08:33
to tell you something we preserved my little man yeah right my little brother i love your face buddy
00:08:59
at all okay it's more like you know let's just put it this way we don't have to cut this out
00:09:05
no all right we won't but and i i honestly i'm going to do this do it and and god
00:09:11
and if you die it would be so sad but if you did okay right right i would go straight to
00:09:18
the mortuary okay before the cremated him okay and i would go just save the
00:09:25
the hole oh the tush not that i don't want the cheeks just the sleeve no just the
00:09:31
the ring the sleeve is that what you call the wall the ring sleeve i don't want the sleeve just the ring just turn
00:09:36
it wow yeah yeah i would have said sleeve right i just want the calamari part
00:09:42
right and they're going to be like well that's weird we'll just no because we cremate it with the rest no i go no i don't
00:09:47
understand like a pumpkin carve it out like a pumpkin right is there any way to dry it out so that
00:09:53
like oh my god no let's be real i'm being very real do you uncomfortable they're like dry out now an anal rectum
00:10:01
muscle i go i'll you know what just give it to me i'll do it at home pete is searching can you dry out an
00:10:07
anus and anus and save it right now you might ask why yeah that was difficult most people were right were
00:10:13
you asking yourself why because i saw your face
00:10:18
it's number one a ring right right probably will probably go around
00:10:23
probably tight right yes
00:10:29
you know you know you know how they do rings on sets or whatever they go they give you that little measure measure
00:10:34
right so you're you think the pinky or you think thumb he's thumb
00:10:40
well whoa that's crazy
00:10:57
and i go what do you think this is and i had it a little in a little jar i think the audi that's an elephant's
00:11:03
[ __ ] like that's how big it is blue whale and i'm like no not a blue
00:11:09
whale i don't know why i think you don't die don't die fyi yeah don't don't die yeah
00:11:15
you know life is what it is do you think they would do that or no i think money buys everything
00:11:21
if you if you go in waving money how much money is it you have to ask the family if i'm gone family might not how
00:11:26
much family do you have left oh i got a bunch of people in detroit everybody oh yeah but
00:11:32
also you have all your the [ __ ] too all the golfers don't forget the 20 000
00:11:38
[ __ ] that will be yeah but doc
00:11:50
welcome back to kcal evening news we're going to throw it live to doc in the streets with a [ __ ] update what up dog
00:11:56
hey man same old same old dry lands out here just struggling in these streets uh yeah still seeing okay so doc so doc
00:12:06
yeah and i'm not shaming him right no don't so what you're telling me now and and the information that we've gathered
00:12:12
since you've been on the podcast dude ask them i always go is doc going to be there we love i love them all
00:12:18
right right right right we love both i think you guys create such great chemistry for the show yeah i love
00:12:23
but look at me right now dude all right i'm looking at you every time i see you i feel like throughout my life you've
00:12:29
always had a dry spell all right right so i'm wondering
00:12:36
and i believe you i do i want to i want to tell you i want to tell you i come from a place
00:12:42
of belief right right so in my mind right i'm like 20 000 [ __ ] yeah right there was
00:12:49
there's just i know in my i don't
00:13:01
doc how old are you 48. 48.48 let me andrew wait hold on would
00:13:07
two feel better yeah dude two [ __ ] 20 000 [ __ ] divided by 48 years you'd have to [ __ ] 4
00:13:13
and 16 girls a year there's no way that's one and a half never seen 460 people in his life
00:13:19
all right so all right um okay a hundred so so when what years i just want to ask
00:13:26
because when i write your book you know i mean i want to be accurate how are you going to write my book i'm
00:13:31
writing your bio for your life story i don't know how but go ahead what do
00:13:37
you mean i don't know i [ __ ] type it i go to a publishing place you don't know [ __ ] you
00:13:42
just know i'm asking you now [ __ ] face okay okay all right i'm
00:13:52
what were the years that we missed out the pro years you're retired now but when were the years yeah
00:13:57
yeah yeah what was the championship run yeah yeah yeah give me the run the championship run was uh
00:14:03
19 years old and ever since then 19 to now so when you were
00:14:09
19 20 21 that's when that was what your mom was talking about
00:14:14
yeah yeah and then you got out to l.a and then it just became
00:14:20
sahara no no dude it was a it was a thunderstorm of [ __ ] oh you know it was
00:14:25
raining on him when he first got here yeah me about that you know more about that when doc first moved out here we go
00:14:32
here we go when doc first moved to l.a he had an apartment on uh what uh
00:14:38
that was oh western westchester about airport right by the airport and i'm not kidding
00:14:43
flight attendants would [ __ ] line up outside his door just to take a turn and they would [ __ ]
00:14:48
doc and go right back to the airport to catch their flight out really that was a common theme so these kind of
00:14:54
conversations were going on probably back then big time hey sally where you going you just landed are you gonna go
00:14:59
to the hotel no i'm gonna get a little black dick i'm gonna get a little black dick and that's what she said i want to get a little black dick and they're like
00:15:04
black little big one no no no no no no his dick is big his human is small oh my bad i i saw him average can i get
00:15:15
so the flight attendants land yeah and they and they go where are you headed sally sally where are you going and i go
00:15:22
i'm looking i'm looking for a little black man with big dick uh do you mean black magic
00:15:29
yeah how do you know i've known black magic since i've been running this la route for 10 years
00:15:34
so you go there too i go there every time your appointment 12 30 what time are you 1 30. so i get after we're just
00:15:40
gonna miss each other i know but can i ask you this yeah can you cause sometimes like you know i know what you're gonna say i know i know what
00:15:46
you're gonna sometimes it's like it's always aroused yep oh he's aroused 24 because he's a man he's a man right but it's like sometimes
00:15:54
it's just the oomph of the burst right it's been a little depleted because of people like you yeah well
00:16:00
i've been pulling it all out of them i go suck it up i get early i get in there early and i get the big pumps yeah
00:16:06
because by the time you probably get like it's probably like half and half now half yeah mine's more like almond milk
00:16:12
it's runny it's it's right it's a bit runny yeah it doesn't [ __ ] okay
00:16:18
[ __ ] it yes doc yeah i'm listening so how are the [ __ ] now though hey man steel dry
00:16:24
lands over here something man how do we do this ladies we tried with the dating app can we
00:16:30
please have some people submit uh fancy i want to make an email right now today called i want i i want a
00:16:37
little i want a little black magic at gmail.com i want i want a little bit a little black magic at gmail.com dude you
00:16:44
should work at it that's real nice that's my next move yeah what did you say they should be
00:16:51
coming in by the drones with that [ __ ] yes okay i want a little blackmagic gmail.com it's right there so ladies
00:16:56
send a photo in and reasons why you think you you could handle a little black magic
00:17:12
honestly i sometimes think he has no idea what's going on none yeah
00:17:31
talking about sexual things with you right right but i am right i am writing the book so i just need
00:17:37
just a couple more some more more information that's okay with you yeah if you want him to write a good book yeah yeah yeah
00:17:43
um what's your power move in bed where's the power move okay well let's
00:17:49
see rudy cover your ears yeah cover your ears cover your ears i know you're 20 but 20 years old today by the way we do
00:17:54
need to get to that but tell me your power move i mean uh i don't know where the paul move is i would say uh all of it's
00:18:01
a power move so it's constant power do you not have levels are you in are
00:18:07
you in [ __ ] high gear the whole time yeah no not high gear i mean are you someone just when you're [ __ ] or you're just talking about
00:18:27
move in a relationship but what is a power move god damn it damn dude i don't believe it's unbelievable this guy okay
00:18:33
he's been surviving all these years without power i know it's crazy yeah they're just all at [ __ ] i mean this
00:18:39
is basically what you're getting yeah you're just kidding it's just soft oh no see i think he's
00:18:46
i think he's a jackhammer yeah so you're he's a lot of it okay
00:18:52
yeah people wake up like is he doing construction next door and then he's oh i see he's he's wearing a hard hat right
00:18:57
right right right there's no girl there no there's no girl there but right like in double
00:19:02
dutch a girl just has to jump in front of it while it's he just goes and a girl just has to wait
00:19:07
one and a two no he's like that guy's he's like that guy painting in all silver
00:19:14
oh right he's got a bucket in front of him right right white people walk by he goes
00:19:21
scare them because they think that he's a statue yeah yeah yeah okay
00:19:27
let me say this that's him by the way doc if this
00:19:35
that's you bro dude bro honestly dude you know what let me ask you something
00:19:40
his name is black magic silverman that's black magic silverman right there like the black magic but it's always
00:19:47
notice it's always black guys that do this that do this yeah 100 but why
00:19:52
are you the best at freezing because our are who's better at popping and locking than black guys
00:19:58
i know but i've seen them freeze for like an hour well yeah because if i mean there's
00:20:03
enough cops walking by they're gonna stand
00:20:13
hi everybody hey guys we love betterhelp we use it personally ourselves is there anything interfering with your
00:20:18
happiness andrew or preventing you from achieving your goals uh this week it's been jules to be honest with you exactly me too every week for me um because
00:20:25
that's why i i need a therapist i got it through better help right it's there you can start communicating in under 48
00:20:31
hours yeah right it's not a crisis line it's not self-help it's professional counseling done securely online they got
00:20:38
a broad range of expertise available and i got to tell you this service is available for clients worldwide we're big proponents of mental health on the
00:20:44
show we both talked about it that we both struggle with it and we both uh talk to somebody so why not talk to somebody it's cheaper than going into a
00:20:50
weird office that's right um and they're committed to facilitating great therapeutic matches so they make it easy and free to change counselors if you
00:20:56
want to switch okay it's more affordable the traditional offline counseling and
00:21:01
financial aid is available did you say that already no but that's amazing betterhelp wants you to start living a happier life today look you can go check
00:21:07
out the reviews you can find out for yourself at uh betterhelp help betterhelp.comreviews and uh visit betterhelp.combadfriends
00:21:14
that's us betterhelp.com bad friends that's better help help and join the over 1 million people have taken charge of the mental health with the help of an
00:21:20
experienced professional this podcast is sponsored by better help and bad friends listeners get 10 off their first month
00:21:28
at betterhelp.com bad friends that's uh betterhelp.com bad friends babble oh my god i love
00:21:34
learning andrew that's the whole goal in life i love learning a new language i'm trying to learn some italian right now
00:21:40
hopefully uh and uh babel is the way to do it i've been using babel because they uh signed me up it's the number one
00:21:46
selling language learning app and the whole process is addictive and fun and fast and easy to do yeah what i love
00:21:51
about it it's 15 minute lessons it's a perfect way to learn a new
00:21:57
language babel's 15 minute lessons make it the perfect way to learn a new language on the go and other language learning apps use ai for the lesson
00:22:02
plans but babel lessons were created by over 100 language experts their teaching method has been scientifically proven to
00:22:09
be effective that's right and we love science over here with babel you can choose from 14 different languages including espanol
00:22:14
france italiano and german yeah speech recognition tech oh go ahead do
00:22:20
that now plus babel's speech recognition technology helps you to improve your pronunciation and accent there are so
00:22:27
many ways to learn uh with babble in addition to lessons you can add access podcast games videos stories and even live classes plus it comes with a 20-day
00:22:34
money-back guarantee call to action andrew golf bring it home right now save up to 65 off your subscription that's so
00:22:40
much when you go to babble.com bad friends that's babble.com bad friends for up to 65 off your subscription
00:22:46
babble language for life that's really funny i'm glad you enjoyed it that's really funny you know what
00:22:52
yeah you are a silverman you really are black magic silverman yeah yeah in fact in fact in fact bob yeah i think the
00:22:58
next episode we do yeah he's got to come in silver face full body a full body full body with the
00:23:05
outfit silverman you're still women is there a class he can take
00:23:10
uh look that up pdp if there's a silverman class silver street performer class i'm not coming in here we're gonna
00:23:16
pay for it we're gonna pay for it we're gonna pay for classes dude what
00:23:22
what what we take care of you do we not take care of you look at it you know what that means at
00:23:27
this point all right we're gonna google how to get you a class on how to be a silverman yeah because i really do
00:23:34
i love it how much money do you think you can make as a silverman will be the goldman could we be cool well we are the goldman for short and this yeah and
00:23:40
that's that one no not enough we're treading on odd water right now very odd all we want to
00:23:47
do is make good money i bet you on the streets mr silverman over here could make a couple hundred a day what was the movie with will smith right like he was
00:23:54
a golfer was it a golf ball was he a magical black person in it he
00:23:59
was magical black right face right why don't we remake it but it's a mini oh my
00:24:05
god a mini golf course right
00:24:11
we make a cartoon right yeah he's the mini one the legend of handbagger vance yeah the smaller version the smaller
00:24:16
version the legend of handbag imagine all the movies we can remake right
00:24:22
with him in it somebody please take this poster yeah and make doc in the middle make rudy on the right and make him make bobby or me
00:24:29
on the [ __ ] godmother or we do a green mile you know the green mile oh michael clark duncan you're
00:24:34
right but it's for um juveniles it's a juvie right so they're smaller
00:24:42
and they they're like he's huge
00:24:53
let's do more black magic movies what's another black yeah what's another black magic move with a man is magical
00:24:58
there's got to be something with samuel jackson there's no doubt he's been a magical black guy he's gotta have been i don't think so
00:25:05
fancy i don't think samuel has ever been a magical black guy no does morpheus count as a magical black
00:25:10
guy no he's not no he's not imagined because in that world they all can do it
00:25:16
yeah but he's he's different yeah he's special he's [ __ ] good free man has been god oh he was god
00:25:23
yeah yeah yeah so you're gonna be what was the movie called it was called uh almighty bruce almighty right he can't
00:25:29
be goddamned we can't let him be god he can't be god what can he be he can be like he can be the god of like insects
00:25:35
oh let me let me could i ask you this that's an interesting idea okay right can i comment what i'm saying okay i
00:25:41
can't wait for fans to photoshop your head yeah if we're all dead right if everything dies like our dogs no cats
00:25:47
animals everything right [ __ ] do they have a place to go are they going to the same place we are heaven
00:25:53
all dog jordan you never seen that movie all right so what i'm saying is there's insects then as well then or no of
00:25:59
course right of course so maybe you're not god but you work for god and you run the insect
00:26:05
department right okay okay what do you say to the crickets that come in yeah what do you say here i am i'm a cricket
00:26:11
i just died i'm a cricket and i got run over by a lawn mower yeah and what do you say what
00:26:16
do you say to me i say to you man welcome and uh we love you a lot and uh
00:26:21
and quickly i don't know what you're saying i don't know like but but if you [ __ ]
00:26:26
you don't even talk english right of course i speak english i [ __ ] i guess it's nathan nathan i died in
00:26:33
southern california mecca's yeah i live in alabama he's got 40 000 [ __ ] followers on
00:26:39
instagram dude i'm huge on the gram how do you not [ __ ] know who i am
00:26:45
hey man i'm sorry yeah so are you a [ __ ] god or what's going on no god's over there the taller black guy oh
00:26:57
can you imagine if you get to heaven and god is like i have a job for you and you're like oh my god he's like you're cleaning up you're the maintenance boy
00:27:03
of heaven here's a mop you have to clean heaven that's because you just got in but you weren't good enough to like
00:27:08
actually kick it in heaven right like you were kind of bad but kind of good and like you got to do janitorial [ __ ] and have because who's cleaning up wait
00:27:15
wait now we have to get to what's in havoc what is it heaven right
00:27:20
clouds well i think clouds are just accoutrement i i don't think there's eating
00:27:26
you don't think you get to eat that's like one of my favorite [ __ ] i know but you're not hungry no you're not hungry but you haven't but you get to
00:27:32
eat yeah there's a buffet but no one goes there all right
00:27:37
that's fine what if i want to try something so what you're saying is that there's a toilet i mean if there's no toilet as i'm just saying to clean
00:27:44
heaven you got to clean up all right how how is it so white if no one's cleaning it up
00:27:50
that's a good point stuff's going to get dirty stuff's got to get dirty right my friend so so i i just feel like there's
00:27:55
a job for you up there a job well well they're going to give them something to just go sit on the cloud
00:28:02
for eternity yeah you got to do something up there what would you want to do do something cool what would you want to do in heaven maybe play soccer a
00:28:09
little bit can you play soccer no that's what i want to play using oh you think when you get up there it's all you get all the
00:28:14
powers
00:28:20
all right and he's like what if i could dunk that's funny and then he sees everyone else is still bigger than him
00:28:26
yeah yeah
00:28:31
yeah what section they're like you over there and like brad williams
00:28:37
williams excuse me brad williams and like doc you're going to be in regular heaven just like all of
00:28:42
us yeah okay yeah i feel like a little black wings my little black magic man you will be
00:28:47
okay i'm gonna shift a little bit focus real fast real fast rudy jules
00:28:53
happy birthday pull the mic to your face and happy birthday thank you to you andrew i'm so happy that you are one
00:28:58
year older i can't believe we started this show when you were 18. that's insane that's insane we watched her change two years have you grown as a
00:29:05
person on the show maybe i think i'm more confident i do agree with that what else do you think
00:29:11
you gained from doing the show i can scream more at you to barbie
00:29:17
that's true you get away with a little bit more for sure very good what else i can scream a little bit more at you
00:29:23
yeah that's also you know what you the way you talk to him is different i like that yeah because you used to be so scared of him so scared yeah yell at me
00:29:31
right now do it do it [ __ ] you oh really
00:29:39
oh really yeah that's it give it to me
00:29:44
[ __ ] you oh come on no more
00:29:49
no more say something to me oh no well that's easier let me move over
00:29:56
to bobby i love you
00:30:03
i love you no see hey but she betrayed you last night wait
00:30:08
what happened last night she cheated on you both of you wait what what did you do what do you mean she did do you know no no
00:30:15
what the [ __ ] do you know what you did last time what did you do last night she cheated on us what does that even mean i don't understand what you're saying she
00:30:21
did general watkins podcast oh [ __ ] oh
00:30:26
[ __ ] what i went to scissor bros but not only me andreas went too
00:30:33
what the [ __ ] you went the [ __ ] scissor bros fancy i was just making sure rooney was in
00:30:40
championship dude spanish people weasels yeah he was on the show and here
00:30:46
he is he was okay dude you're a liar he's a liar was he on camp rudy won't lie was
00:30:51
he on camera and he was on the mic you piece of [ __ ] [ __ ] is so
00:30:57
[ __ ] gross that's disgusting when a person tries to [ __ ] chisel
00:31:04
his way into [ __ ] screen time it makes me sick to my [ __ ] stomach
00:31:09
you know what he's leaving the camera and edit he's going to leave it on him this whole time that we've been saying this have you noticed though if you see
00:31:15
because i've been watching he gives himself so much so much screen time yeah it'll just be him going like this right
00:31:20
and he'll just see him in [ __ ] mexico oh bro oh my you would think that [ __ ] like you know brad pitt was
00:31:27
there yeah he was hey everybody who want
00:31:40
and then george was like this is a good clue right george would say stuff like
00:31:47
i just let him have it yeah like he's kind of like broken you know what i mean like let it go he knows who won correct
00:31:54
right beast ah that's fine he's not fine you could see his face you could tell george killing so bothered by it it's
00:32:00
coming up hey andreas it is me compa mi compadre oh
00:32:05
you know what he said what do you say you are my friend my my colleague my
00:32:11
brother-in-arms
00:32:18
this guy right here we can do an offshoot podcast of him and who somebody else maybe these
00:32:23
two or somebody you know i mean maybe we can maybe i'm more annoyed that that we got stepped on by you guys went to scissors rose were you there the whole
00:32:29
episode yeah wow how'd it go it was fun what
00:32:36
not fun like this she doesn't have money so
00:32:41
by her saying i had fun there because she didn't have fun here right right he is saying
00:32:46
basically saying i prefer that no okay well then she said well then let's let's
00:32:51
let's call it let's call spade a spade sorry i mean sorry sorry doc uh
00:32:58
nothing's taken huh let's call spade a spade keep that head
00:33:03
you can go to scissor bros if you want to be released do you want to be released
00:33:09
maybe they're more sweet wow wow what's true [ __ ] you can be aggressive that's
00:33:14
insane i think you can be aggressive you can be aggressive and i'm gonna admit that i'm in a minute as well yeah yeah but i i gotta call
00:33:20
these scumbags right now all right i'm this is pissed me this pissed me right off bud
00:33:25
piss me right off this combat stealing you guys and fancy i said some nice [ __ ] to you
00:33:30
this weekend you're my [ __ ] uh how do you say poop in spanish kaka you're on my cacao list [ __ ] he's probably
00:33:36
taking care of his baby meredith [ __ ]
00:33:42
that's this you reach me on my cell phone leave me a message and i'll be back [ __ ] as i can
00:33:47
lay into one hey man it's santino uh
00:33:52
i saw what you did i saw what you did stealing rudy and fancy b and i got to tell you something bud
00:34:00
if you care about your family you better watch your [ __ ] back buddy
00:34:05
you better watch your skinny little [ __ ] white piece of [ __ ] back my friend because what you did was [ __ ]
00:34:10
war war and you want to [ __ ] with the [ __ ] armada bro you want to [ __ ] with the armada [ __ ] you don't have enough
00:34:16
weapons in your arsenal [ __ ] [ __ ] over bud it's over
00:34:22
all right let's see how that's received i show bobby the picture that you just sent me
00:34:27
what is it unbelievable holy [ __ ]
00:34:32
wait okay
00:34:37
that's my brother that's my brother and that's you yeah
00:34:45
and that's pretty close it's pretty close
00:34:53
like those tits he's got nice tits on wait wait does he have a fat suit on i think it just looks like tits
00:34:59
he's like holding up his tits right am i wrong
00:35:05
he made a fat suit yep that's not a fat dude that's tits and that and his hair is beautiful
00:35:11
that's extend it's got to be that's like someone's extensions that he knows you know it's funny how they just steal
00:35:18
steal they just look up can you send them an article about plagiarism
00:35:25
the definition maybe yeah it's illegal it's illegal this is illegal this is crazy
00:35:30
they stole our fonts remember they sold yes they stole everything yeah is this more fun he's my brother and so i'm just
00:35:37
letting it go so he looks like tino and then he looks like you that's what's going on here
00:35:42
yeah [ __ ] did you see that joke i know [ __ ] a [ __ ] crazy it's just so
00:35:49
behind the eight ball and look at that you know what that is you know who that is that's doctor
00:36:05
what the [ __ ] is going on here oh there's a clip oh start the clip over hold on start over please let's here we go oh they've been holding you captive
00:36:11
go ahead yeah on my birthday and and uh and they won't let me go
00:36:17
until everybody from bad friends subscribes
00:36:23
okay well steve's into it whenever you're ready look right into that camera over
00:36:28
there got this piece of [ __ ] this is scissor bros have captured me
00:36:35
and they won't let me go unless everyone from bad friends bad friends fans will
00:36:41
subscribe to their show but they seem sweet unlike
00:36:46
bobby aunty to andrew so maybe you should do it give me back the [ __ ] barbie give me back the [ __ ] oceans
00:36:54
and you know what and i want the [ __ ] waffle maker back now no no keep let's keep the waffles well you can keep it i want to eat yeah you can have it yeah
00:37:00
yeah i'll take the waffle maker but it's yours happy birthday so that's my present to you
00:37:06
that worked very well give him the barber give him the barbecue it's my gift
00:37:12
what was that what was that yeah you you cow you cow towed to the [ __ ] arch
00:37:18
nemesis of the enemies and she improvised uh most of the lines like she was coach a little bit but she added
00:37:24
things about you guys she improvises too there yeah right okay i'm i'm actually livid right now i know
00:37:31
you are calm down to breathe yeah i know i know dude papa gets upset i know but buddy buddy
00:37:37
huh look at me right now dude right not everyone is a good person like you that's right and yeah a lot of
00:37:43
people have a lot of young people from a different country yep right they have a different ethics and a different code of doing things yeah
00:37:49
you know back in some countries you know if an old lady is crossing the street you know what i mean and she's struggling to get there
00:37:55
in some countries they just push them on this in the middle of the road yeah yeah you know whereas you you help them i
00:38:00
help them yeah i help them up and then you go you want to see my baseball game you know how white people loved it yeah yeah you want to go to the park yeah the
00:38:06
park yeah i have a tuna for sandwich you want to ride right right but you yeah you push them down you push them down
00:38:11
side note this is not i'm not making fun of this what a man on set today fell down a bunch of stairs yeah
00:38:18
and i first was extremely worried i go oh my god yeah but i saw he was fine
00:38:23
i laughed you left hard oh my god i was like moves
00:38:28
was he laughing no yeah but we were i know because he was okay yeah it's not funny
00:38:34
if someone gets hurt yeah but as soon as someone's okay you're like it's okay i laughed at somebody hurt you
00:38:40
what me and clella did i laugh more though when we're first shopping around for houses yeah there
00:38:46
was a man an older man yeah how how old are we talking well you're 70. you don't know with them 70. so 106 maybe or 12.
00:38:53
yeah you never know so he was like yeah so you know this is where you you know whining and dying
00:39:00
people and he's going back like walking backwards right and we're like thank you and all
00:39:05
of a sudden you know let's see our eyes is a is a screen like a frame like a
00:39:10
frame right yeah he fell out of frame oh right and he's on now concrete oh [ __ ] yeah on
00:39:18
his back right like this right at first he starts shaking a little bit
00:39:24
we thought oh my god what's so funny right i'm just trying to but we didn't help him up because we
00:39:29
just couldn't stop laughing like we were like we're like right
00:39:36
yeah yeah did he laugh well when he gained like some consciousness yeah
00:39:41
he was like oh the silly me you know what i mean i've been touring around this house for a couple of years and you know because
00:39:47
it's been available for a couple years right right i should know all these little nicks and crabs and crevices or whatever is he of a concussion
00:39:59
i'm sorry that you've decided that scissor bros is more important than bad friends but yeah whatever man
00:40:06
you have anything to say for yourself at all i'm not sorry
00:40:14
it was fun yeah yeah and i liked it
00:40:19
good is there anything that you could recommend us to watch
00:40:25
a movie got a real got a real star-studded event
00:40:31
in this room tonight
00:40:40
hello you guys we love tushy love cleaning
00:40:45
i love hello tishi because it's like it cleans it in a perfect way yeah it goes like this
00:40:50
yeah but just right you can control the spray it's easy to install i installed it myself at home i installed it here at
00:40:56
the office yeah i saw you install it here okay and it is uh my butthole um is very
00:41:02
clean and savory and pristine it's sweet it's tasty it's a sweet butter it tastes better thank
00:41:08
you it tastes better thank you so much yellow tissue washes your butt with fresh water for a better uh way better clean than toilet
00:41:14
paper simply spray and pat dry it attaches to your existing toilet there's no electrician or plumber needed let me tell you if you've never used a bidet
00:41:20
and you don't know what you're doing it's incredible it cleans out your tush with water and it cuts down your toilet paper used by 80 so save the trees and
00:41:26
thousands of gallons of water by just using a hello tushie and installs in less than eight minutes make your restroom the best room with a complete
00:41:33
tushy system including including the tissue bidet attachment ottoman ooh for your feet toilet brush and tushy stand
00:41:39
and tissues yep give the gift of a clean bum to yourself or your loved ones this
00:41:45
holiday season and get 10 off plus free shipping right now at hellotushi.combatfriends
00:41:52
wow tag us at hellotitia on social media so we can celebrate your clean bum that's hellotici.com bad friends
00:41:58
hellotushy.com bad friends for 10 off and free shipping me undies what are you wearing right now undies right now i
00:42:05
wear undies me undies the only thing i wear it's literally the only underwear that i love the patterns i love the fabrics i love the cute raccoons that i
00:42:11
get i get yeah the little raccoons i like the little squirrels the holidays are almost upon us all right it's going to be time that you got
00:42:17
to do something for yourself and for others all right so what are you going to do what are you going to do do something for yourself this is the best
00:42:23
underwear on planet earth that's it's a fact dude me undies wants to help you bring you comfort for the holidays all
00:42:29
right surrounding your family and friends with comfort while you're at it get a little something for yourself uh we love them so much i like cozying up
00:42:36
uh in my in the loungewears that's my favorite thing and i love watching you do it it might be undies it's cute with
00:42:41
new classic flat and holiday yeah sweater prince myannies is turning up the comfort this holiday season their undies they got loungewear sleepwear
00:42:47
made out of soft breathable stretchy fabrics that are ideal for people like me and body whose bodies fluctuate okay me and bobby's bodies fluctuate and
00:42:53
we're okay with it all right you know what i'm okay with the shaming you just did there what do you mean anyway make
00:42:58
the whole fam smile while matching pj said spoil your partner with plush robes and slippers whatever you decide everyone will be rolling into the new
00:43:05
year comfier than before available in extra small through 4xl me undies has a little something for everyone on your
00:43:10
list looking for more inspiration check out their holiday gift guide for all things cozy and comfy me undies has a great offer for our listeners for any
00:43:16
first-time purchasers you get 15 off and free shipping right to your door your days of fighting for your life in the mall parking lot are over to get 50 of
00:43:24
your first order free shipping and 100 satisfaction guarantee go to meundies.com bad friends that's me
00:43:30
undies.com bad friends got a bunch of real [ __ ] a plus we brought out some really good [ __ ] this episode
00:43:36
and we're just letting her drive the train right off the [ __ ] track like in back to the future when that
00:43:42
train is going to go back in time she's never broke the mileage right off the edge of the [ __ ] yeah i've never
00:43:48
seen like that's what she does pull up a video of a train crashing up a bridge if that was a scene in a movie like she
00:43:54
just went off hit right yeah the director wouldn't even say cut he would just like they would just reset yeah they'd just go reset reset reset reset
00:44:01
stop stop stop yeah right you don't even get an official cut you just reset saying this is chaos
00:44:06
just a solid reset dude a guy took a shirt off on the [ __ ] set today this guy you want to
00:44:11
talk a bit more about the tv show that you're on or no no i feel like you want to so it's like you brought it up twice you're on tv show fx with uh that guy
00:44:18
the it's not that show i just did a one-off episode oh that's right you did um can i mention what you did sure it's fine right he did this is us this is us
00:44:25
on nbc and this is a you know what that shows okay big show big big show but but the
00:44:30
guy that took off his shirt was so [ __ ] hot yeah it was like i really
00:44:36
bummed me out dude because i'm getting older and fatter and i go to the gym but it's not the same and this guy his skin
00:44:43
was so smooth and he turned he had a really nice smile and i was like [ __ ] you man yeah [ __ ] you you [ __ ] hot
00:44:50
guy and then you put a shirt back on and it's you could still you're you know your hot guy when you can still see how
00:44:55
nice your body is with the shirt on yeah look at us bro look at that [ __ ] knife
00:45:00
in the city right yeah i'm on it with somebody's love interest yeah right yeah and he is perfection
00:45:08
just stunning from top to bottom right like if you look at his nails oh
00:45:14
what do you mean no he's got manicured nails doesn't he that really turns you on huh yeah i i could tell it really
00:45:19
affected you it is yeah you looked at his nails they look like a plastic hand
00:45:25
not a cr not there's nobody it's that little sucker that comes out a little stick a little hangnail hang there i get
00:45:30
those this nail right here has nine colors
00:45:36
going on yeah that's a rainbow nail that's a real rainbow yeah and sometimes because we're at a desk
00:45:42
he'll put his hand next to my rainbow finger
00:45:53
yeah we don't compare yeah what is this a picture of us in hawaii and love i mean why would you [ __ ] put that on there
00:45:59
cause i'm fat that's the fattest [ __ ] photo timeout pete pete
00:46:04
pete yes is this you taking a shot at bobby i thought it was relevant oh boy i
00:46:11
thought it was relevant
00:46:17
go ahead okay fire away this dude
00:46:22
was at my house earlier pdpd yeah and he sweated
00:46:28
only from his titties are you on camera right now pete
00:46:33
okay so show your tits what i want to i want no no it's gone now no it's not here now yeah yeah but before he was in
00:46:39
my garage right yeah and he had cone tits and on the top it was wet but
00:46:45
not just like wet you could tell it was growing like a wet t-shirt yeah but it was like there was some sort
00:46:52
of like mechanism mechanism that was making the wet spot grow oh and i go you
00:46:58
fat [ __ ] disgusting pieces or something like that right good morning to you yeah it was in the morning good morning to
00:47:03
you fat [ __ ] sweating piece of [ __ ] what did he say what he just giggles like a [ __ ] coward but is this
00:47:10
is this the attack on me from today i feel like that's what this is yeah yeah this is a retelling i apologize then
00:47:17
can you take that off okay can you do something real fast can you zoom in on my left calf there
00:47:23
let's just daddy daddy you have girl legs
00:47:28
wow thank you that's the most honest thing no that's the most i have nice legs you've ever
00:47:33
said and i'm proud of you i have nice legs he's got girl legs these are nice legs
00:47:38
i got nice sticky daddy like and michael in fact if you were an avenger you would get
00:47:44
another actor would i be a toothpick the other they would get a body double
00:47:50
for your legs well i'd never be avenger you know why because you're red-headed because i'm red-headed no but you could be one
00:47:55
that's on fire oh no what's her name was redheaded who stopped yeah hot girl oh okay
00:48:01
you're not getting on the [ __ ] avengers either but what is
00:48:14
yeah what do you think dude i think
00:48:28
don't stray too far from home there it is right there you are dude
00:48:33
there you are there you are dude yeah that that is just black pant could you imagine
00:48:39
right there that ain't even [ __ ] i don't imagine honestly
00:48:45
literally honestly think if you're you buy a ticket
00:48:50
what are they 18 now it's like 25 25 bucks right so you wait in line right
00:48:55
what if it's a surprise they don't even tell you you think it's is it who knows who knows right we're not
00:49:01
going to announce right movie comes on right and you and i are sitting we have our popcorn right we're
00:49:06
doing a wakanda or wakanda right and he comes out right this little ball
00:49:12
of a thing right he's like the hedgehog sonic yeah yeah he just starts rolling
00:49:18
right into the thing right as soon as he pops and we see a full body of uh
00:49:24
people would die in the audience they would laugh so hard people would literally no honestly it would be you would need medical people
00:49:31
there i would be like i would laugh so
00:49:36
[ __ ] hard it would be the best movie ever made but what would be my superpower can you you never saw black
00:49:41
panther you didn't see black panther yeah yeah no no you did it
00:49:48
no you did it bobby no no bobby you didn't bobby what no you didn't i
00:49:56
felt that the moment so dude how did you not see [ __ ] black panther i saw it i just okay what's the
00:50:03
plot of the movie yeah what's the plot what's the plot of the film where does he live like what's the land that you know you know i saw the movie once i
00:50:10
know it yeah yeah what is it what is that uh wakanda jules
00:50:18
you already [ __ ] abandoned i just saw you [ __ ] say you [ __ ] don't ever say that again we're taking away that happy
00:50:24
birthday give you another party okay give it to us give me another part of the movie when they were fighting
00:50:30
[ __ ] [ __ ] hey when they was [ __ ] fighting that was that was nice when the cars and [ __ ] never saw it you
00:50:37
never saw it i can't believe you never know what's the move that he does yep
00:50:43
he kicks okay that's enough holy [ __ ] it's such a sad thing how about this name one more other name one more person
00:50:49
in the movie name how about name anybody in the movie what am i saying who is black panther
00:50:56
holy [ __ ] man hold up man wait wait where is he where what now what now why why are they why why do you why are they
00:51:02
doing why are they using a different actor rooney
00:51:16
did you not know he was black panther yeah
00:51:24
in the movie name one other actor then if and then and then we'll stop asking yeah yeah yeah don cheetoh yeah
00:51:33
he was on cheating
00:51:41
there was no scene with don cheadle in black panther yeah yeah but you did make me think about it for a second i did think i was like [ __ ] up wait wait
00:51:48
yeah yeah no he didn't anyway fancy he's not in right anyway doc no he's not no doc
00:51:54
i don't know what you're trying to do right now i really don't know what you're [ __ ] trying to do you never [ __ ] saw the
00:51:59
[ __ ] movie right i have an idea what you know how they do mystery science theater where they watch movies what do
00:52:04
you mean they had crack selling in black panther remember when he was in a park when he
00:52:09
lived in apartment buildings okay [ __ ] it i guess maybe maybe i need to watch you think they threw a crack
00:52:15
selling scene in black panther
00:52:23
oh yeah when they were in the crack house and they were smoking oh yeah oh yes wait captain america yes right yes
00:52:30
because they were fighting they were tired they were walking by and like hey what kind of in what kind of they have crack
00:52:36
houses and black panther was like nah right check it out and then they yeah yeah you
00:52:41
know what can you just google can you google um uh black panther uh crack smoking scene because that should come
00:52:46
right up that should come right up when they smoke rock and blood i don't remember when it was in the hood
00:52:52
in an apartment building oh you know what andrew i remember the scene now there it is right there the third slide
00:52:58
in that was black panther i remember that i do remember that that
00:53:03
was a 45 minute scene it was so long [ __ ] black panther yeah no [ __ ]
00:53:09
there's another slime there's black panther smoking crack out of a [ __ ]
00:53:16
that's why in wakanda you see all those coke cans littered across the ground they were all crackheads yeah okay uh doc no no there's no crack scenes in
00:53:23
fact but not crack scene but there's like a [ __ ] like money in the hood fancy is any of this real when his father get
00:53:29
killed the very beginning uh opens in the bronx no one's smoking crack but no one's
00:53:34
smoking but i never said they were smoking crying not even cigarettes you didn't say crack at all during this maybe i did but um
00:53:47
like mystery science theater does they watch movies we as a family are going to watch black panther together together
00:53:53
yes yeah because you need to [ __ ] you need to get a chunk of that for your own lifestyle because
00:53:59
i feel like if we watch the movie with him that we're going to end up explaining scenes to him oh yeah yeah and i don't want to do that
00:54:05
that's a [ __ ] you know strategy yeah i mean i just explained to y'all the goddamn fight scene with the cars
00:54:12
remember yeah wait a minute it was under the bridge so have you been playing that you don't know what's going on
00:54:18
are you doing a good job of playing what no no i i
00:54:26
you you don't say anything you don't say anything right now are you pulling some [ __ ] black magic on me right now he's doing his black magic he's black shut
00:54:32
the [ __ ] up for a second and thank you for being here let me talk to andrew for a second okay can we have a moment okay
00:54:39
i think we're dealing with somebody that has a mental thing that we're not privy to
00:54:45
oh right either it's a condition that we're not privy to because we don't have his medical records i don't know
00:54:51
yeah right yeah um there have been signs when i've hung out with them where i went that's weird that's very weird yeah
00:54:57
why would he do that yeah i mean from being here right like the [ __ ] thing and it's crazy and a lot of crack stuff
00:55:05
cracked stuff so the [ __ ] the crowd yeah he seems to be a guy that's never seen
00:55:11
anything like anything unless maybe he's seen it he doesn't understand he doesn't
00:55:17
understand yeah yeah is this a documentary right it's like black panther and people around them are like
00:55:23
what you know but so we you know we have to be a little bit nicer than to him because i don't think so no no okay
00:55:30
what i want to do is i want to be so mean that he has to find
00:55:36
a professional to give him some sort of medication or you know okay let's address it okay yuck
00:55:42
is wrong with these two there's nothing wrong with this man okay we're concerned friends we're just
00:55:47
concerned and we love you hey man i just forgot how the movie goes
00:55:53
that's true that's true that's true you know what yeah i take it back i take it back you've seen black
00:55:59
panther yeah i just told you about the goddamn fight scene okay what's been going on doc what's
00:56:05
been going on in your life though the chair because i do want to know what's up in your life okay this is this is the game right so this is how your boy doc
00:56:12
is all right i work in the morning we're at
00:56:17
amazon okay oh can we say that at the whole foods i don't know whatever wait can we say yeah you can there you
00:56:23
go so you look at the whole foods for amazon they they own them no i work for amazon but he owns whole he owns whole
00:56:30
foods he bought him last year or two years ago bezos did yeah 2017. now
00:56:35
so i split up my shifts so that i can audition hopefully if i get an audition in the afternoon so i work from six i
00:56:41
either work from five six or four in the morning to eight nine or ten then i wait around to see if i got an
00:56:48
audition or if i got one in advance then i work on it then i go back to work
00:56:55
at four right goddamn and i get off at eight so now after eight
00:57:01
i have like a 99 year old aunt right so after that this is the real [ __ ]
00:57:06
that's a real yeah yeah so she has dementia and she's like hey can you call me every day so every day i
00:57:12
get off work i try to call her after work sorry your mom's sister
00:57:17
no it's my my mom's mother sister it's my great aunt auntie great auntie your grandma that's auntie at that point
00:57:23
that's auntie yeah when she answers the phone does she know
00:57:28
who you are right away or no yeah yeah she's not bad she's her didn't mention ain't bad with to where she's not wait a
00:57:33
minute 99 years old about to be 100 january 12th oh auntie you're doing it
00:57:39
she's not getting a little drink and we gonna do it she's not watching the show okay what is the case
00:57:45
of auntie watching this show yeah by the way if auntie is watching the show yeah that's em
00:57:51
join us because we're kicking out this brown one we need a new brown yeah yeah we need a new brown but y'all felt it
00:57:57
though right bro you call her every day she has dementia and then do you have to like reach because i have to like
00:58:02
well it's the same stories over and over but what i do is i just let her talk for two three hours oh yeah then i go to
00:58:07
sleep and then i do the same thing every day so you give us too much to give us some of the stories that's exactly what doesn't let's talk about
00:58:14
his life i i i can see your face there's concern i am concerned yeah yeah yeah
00:58:23
i love the guy i love this guy i just feel like the amount of talent that you have yeah what and likability that we can
00:58:30
maybe trim some of this work down right and try to figure out what are you doing i'm about to show you something
00:58:38
because if it's a [ __ ] dick pic dude just showed it to us
00:58:44
you can't just bring up black magic on the show what is it okay now here we go you all
00:58:50
ready yeah yeah man okay so see these little that's my alarm app so i'll watch
00:58:55
her to see what's going on so i keep what is she up to can i see she's not is it live now oh it's live
00:59:02
yeah it's live yeah yeah so what if she's changing and stuff that's what i'm saying record that's what i want to show you i'll show you i'll show you that
00:59:09
what are you doing something like so see how she's walking right there with a little walker right there that's my aunt bro i love you god bless
00:59:16
god bless her so wait doc that's so sweet you watch her through the camera to make sure she's okay the make sure you're okay what is she like when she
00:59:21
falls here or something i need to see how far are you from what can you do if she falls what can you do nothing but i
00:59:26
can call you they'll come with me i could call them oh you can call 911
00:59:44
yeah do you cut the tennis balls for her do i what did you cut the tennis balls forward you don't have tennis balls she's not the t everyone has the tennis
00:59:50
balls on this shoe i love that one does she have wheels on the front instead yeah that's wheels wheels are
00:59:56
wheels are a little dangerous where does she live la
01:00:05
sorry i know you're nana sorry bobby you talk ready
01:00:12
hello yeah
01:00:17
hey what's up what's up stevie what's up tv what's your voicemail what's up tv
01:00:24
what's up tv huh you see you're a thief
01:00:30
yeah yours evie is is this pop or santino it's bobby
01:00:36
oh hey bobby hey man so uh i like to steal her we heard what you [ __ ] did dude you stole our guys you stole our
01:00:43
[ __ ] guys you stole our guys you stole our outfits right
01:00:48
stole our energy dude you stole our energy for sure our um our vibe
01:00:54
and then you're you're trying to steal our audience oh that's burns yeah dude and what are you gonna do about it
01:01:02
what are you doing see what he's doing you're treading on thin ice pal you're treading on thin ice
01:01:07
you know what because we treat them nicer than you treat them yeah okay okay
01:01:12
you know i'll tell you something papal i know you're coming up in the world and i'm really proud of you i really am and
01:01:18
congratulations on the baby and stuff do you hear me thank you yeah yeah and i think that you're really talented
01:01:24
this isn't that but i just want to say this though andrew and i know people that you don't know
01:01:29
so you crawled this you crawled up this business you know i know dave wrath i know all these people right right but it's like at the end of the day dude
01:01:36
we know people yeah you don't know and people that i can make a phone call
01:01:41
right and make it very difficult for you oops oops oopsie daisy bud oopsie
01:01:47
are you threatening are you threatening my livelihood i'm not threatening your livelihood i'm just giving you facts
01:01:53
you dumb white piece of [ __ ] yeah yeah you piece of [ __ ] you get more you
01:01:59
wait asian warlord is a slam that's a that's a [ __ ] compliment from what i
01:02:06
compliment warlord thank you i own all this [ __ ] that's exactly right
01:02:11
anyway what's up hello
01:02:16
yeah no i'm i'm listening yeah you better be [ __ ] listening pal let me tell you something how does it
01:02:22
feel you look like you have hiv but you don't have it
01:02:28
dude you look like you started sars what are you talking about
01:02:36
first of all dude it was the asian bird flu not sars get your [ __ ] diseases right yeah bub okay yeah and let me tell
01:02:43
you something here okay go ahead okay rip on him too let me tell you something here yeah let me tell
01:02:48
you something swine flu there we go that's your name swine flu because you're a fat porky pig you're a fat no
01:02:55
no freaking potato famine
01:03:00
oh [ __ ] me you know let me tell you something you northern european socialist piece of [ __ ] okay you [ __ ]
01:03:07
everybody deserves equal pay you're a [ __ ] turd pal and we're gonna hunt you down we're gonna hunt you down and
01:03:12
we're gonna shave your head you know that [ __ ] little hairdo that you got going on it's gone
01:03:18
oh yeah you're yeah we're gonna swoop in and [ __ ] your [ __ ] up dude hang up now hang up now i'm hanging up now because
01:03:24
i'm only telling you that because i think it's rude to do otherwise yeah you're being polite still you [ __ ] yeah
01:03:30
you know why i'm being polite now you know why i'm being polite pal yeah because your [ __ ] wife and baby are
01:03:35
there but otherwise buddy i'm calling steve otherwise i'm calling steve
01:03:41
you're [ __ ] i'm not in
01:03:56
i cannot believe he would do that [ __ ] ooh that makes me sick in my [ __ ] stomach he's a little rat and it's you
01:04:03
know what's a funny if he was here yeah he would melt because he'd be [ __ ] pissing and
01:04:08
sweating and [ __ ] in his [ __ ] pants his piece of [ __ ] right and can i say this too please right
01:04:14
she right and andreas they're they're on to something and
01:04:20
they're doing something behind her backs oh i know it i know what it is right i know and we gotta figure out what that
01:04:25
is but this thing is melting and i want to [ __ ] eat it eat it so can we get a slice of this
01:04:31
give me a [ __ ] slice of this how good does this look put your arm away from her look what he's doing look what he's
01:04:36
doing whoa oh no no no no put your arm away where are you with you
01:04:42
you guys are jealous no what bro what [ __ ] is going on here what is going
01:04:47
on here doc what are you doing i got friends i got [ __ ] friends oh my god i think he's walking crap right now
01:04:54
yeah all right let's cut up some of this cake yeah give me the cake what's the matter okay
01:05:01
what's the matter doc hey hey no no you're not [ __ ] going
01:05:07
anywhere come behind me real fast come behind me yeah come by love you andreas come sit here or come come right here
01:05:13
put your [ __ ] head right behind the gong real fast you too george back there all right so so so let me tell you
01:05:19
let's he did hasn't my bad so i was there only for five minutes
01:05:24
what was there the whole time okay fancy who treated you the best in cancun
01:05:30
okay who loves you the most of this whole show rudy
01:05:39
you went behind my back and i trusted you we had a pact we had a pact yeah and
01:05:44
he went behind my back so you know what this means right yes yeah you do i'm gonna cut the cake
01:05:50
for you you're [ __ ] right you're gonna cut the goddamn you're gonna get a good slice [ __ ] kick and you're gonna give bobby a big [ __ ] slice no not
01:05:56
just a slice i want one piece of every fruit that's on that's what he wants wow
01:06:06
and i have memorized every even that lychee fruit up the chili chicken fruit up there oh by the way oh is this
01:06:11
is this your happy birthday look at this is for you yeah yeah i don't want every apple whoa dude that's gonna love it that's
01:06:18
what she gets that's what you get yeah i don't give you every fruit just give me a little just give them a little tiny slice tiny slice is this is this uh
01:06:25
is this uh this is a great bakery no poros is my favorite is it the best but i mean what kind of cake did you get for her
01:06:30
dirty more spanish fingers on it [ __ ] bastard all right sorry bob bob was this jersey from a fan and was that
01:06:36
the one in cancun what a fan in cancun gave you an arsenal jersey yes about this one no but they did didn't they they did it's my closet isn't that
01:06:43
[ __ ] great love life i love life can i have a spoon this is so [ __ ] good i'm like annoyed
01:06:53
it's like shocking oh pick up
01:06:58
hello what's going on no we're just doing bad friends and we're just talking about um you know what's going on steve
01:07:05
we're just talking no sorry man uh we're just talking about betrayal and we're talking about
01:07:11
oh here we go dude i'm steve oh so jules and andreas wasn't on your show
01:07:16
yesterday i don't know maybe i don't know maybe yeah and i understand that and you
01:07:22
weren't dressed up as me and you and here's another thing did you wear a fat suit
01:07:28
did you wear a fat suit dude it was a joke is that do you like making fun of my [ __ ] unhealthy body
01:07:37
i could die i could die i could die i put a little dude it was just it was a gag right oh yeah oh it was already hard
01:07:44
yeah i'm laughing so hard dude yeah oh come on you guys are being bad sports
01:07:49
come on oh really and then before even when you guys were launching the [ __ ] thing you did good friends good friends
01:07:55
that's right you remember that did you did you question jeremiah yeah we did we just called her dude ate him alive
01:08:02
yeah we threatened his baby i love you guys no don't get off the phone you're not getting off the phone
01:08:08
so i know when you're getting off the bus i love you guys take care have a good one [ __ ] you dude you're not leaving [ __ ]
01:08:16
all right so apologize i'm sorry guys i apologize listen
01:08:21
dude you got to be careful steve we got a black guy here now i'll do whiskey ginger everything will
01:08:28
be good you know we you know you know we have a black guy not working for us we have a black guy now yeah dog yeah
01:08:34
you're not scared you believe it's steve you're not scared of him though you're not going to steal him are you are you
01:08:40
going to steal our black guy too no i love doc i'm sorry guys all right anyway i love you i love you this week
01:08:47
love you steve anyway so let's do this let's end the show like this let's look into our
01:08:52
center camera there and we want to talk genuinely to our fans there we go if we find out
01:08:58
that any of you and i mean oh yeah here we go any of you this is great
01:09:03
are going to subscribe to [ __ ] scissor buds or whatever it is
01:09:09
or snippet pals we're going to [ __ ] come after you one by one i've got petey pablo down
01:09:16
there he's going to be searching in the algorithm to find out who's following them and if you're following them you better unsubscribe right now and if we
01:09:22
find out that our fans no no no no no no keep keep subs subscribing
01:09:29
keep subscribing okay all right okay i think a better route right is to do some
01:09:34
voodoo oh right curse put a curse put a heck put a curse so it's like um
01:09:40
for those of you listening and if you're a bad friends fan right and you subscribe to i don't even want
01:09:48
to say the other [ __ ] podcast's name i don't even know what it is yeah that you're going to start feeling ill
01:09:54
very and not even covadil like real no like a deep illness not like i lost my sense of
01:10:00
smell no you're not gonna die you're not gonna die maybe i'm not gonna guarantee you yeah yeah you will lose something you'll
01:10:06
lose something you'll lose something i lost my spleen i don't know where did it go doc yeah yeah yeah he's like well did
01:10:12
you so if but if you betray that stay with bad friends right
01:10:18
the flow the good energy flow that we give right unbeknownst to you is it the right word
01:10:25
unbeknownst correct yeah unbeknownst to you pronounced benounced to you right you will receive
01:10:31
enlightenment luck yeah flavors and favors flavors flavors
01:10:36
flavors you like flavors of life we got them we cut it we got icy flavors we got fruity yeah yeah we got
01:10:44
flavors from the the exotics sometimes we have too many fruity flavors
01:10:51
oh crap we've got crack crack but most of all yeah we want to say
01:10:59
we love you we love you yeah we respect we appreciate you and
01:11:05
thank you for being a bad friend
01:11:14
rudy what'd you get what did you get
01:11:30
oh taco bell box is that a taco box filled with tacos yeah
01:11:36
holy [ __ ] that's been in there the whole time we get to eat any of that
01:11:42
happy birthday

Badges

This episode stands out for the following:

  • 70
    Funniest
  • 60
    Most chaotic
  • 60
    Most unserious (in a good way)

Episode Highlights

  • Birthday Celebration
    Happy birthday! A lighthearted moment filled with cake and laughter.
    “Happy birthday!”
    @ 00m 12s
    November 15, 2021
  • Gift in the Mail
    A humorous exchange about gifts and their timely arrival.
    “Your gift is in the mail!”
    @ 02m 20s
    November 15, 2021
  • Surviving the Show
    After a chaotic first show, they reflect on their resilience and success in the second.
    “We survived!”
    @ 08m 21s
    November 15, 2021
  • Heaven's Maintenance Boy
    A comedic discussion about what jobs one might have in heaven, including cleaning duties.
    “Can you imagine if you get to heaven and God is like, I have a job for you?”
    @ 26m 57s
    November 15, 2021
  • Birthday Reflections
    Celebrating a birthday and reflecting on personal growth over the years.
    “I can't believe we started this show when you were 18. That's insane!”
    @ 28m 58s
    November 15, 2021
  • Scissor Bros Drama
    Tension arises as one member reveals they appeared on another podcast, causing jealousy.
    “You have anything to say for yourself at all? I'm not sorry!”
    @ 40m 14s
    November 15, 2021
  • Girl Legs
    A playful jab at dad's legs, sparking a humorous exchange.
    “Daddy, you have girl legs.”
    @ 47m 23s
    November 15, 2021
  • Best Movie Ever Made
    A hilarious scenario about a surprise character in a superhero movie.
    “I would laugh so hard, it would be the best movie ever made.”
    @ 49m 31s
    November 15, 2021
  • Black Panther Confusion
    A shocking revelation about one friend's unfamiliarity with a cultural phenomenon.
    “I can't believe you never saw Black Panther!”
    @ 49m 56s
    November 15, 2021
  • Family Bonding
    A heartfelt moment discussing watching Black Panther together as a family.
    “You need to watch Black Panther together.”
    @ 53m 47s
    November 15, 2021
  • Daily Calls to Aunt
    A touching routine of calling a 99-year-old aunt with dementia every day.
    “I love you, God bless her.”
    @ 59m 16s
    November 15, 2021
  • Appreciation for Fans
    A heartfelt message to fans about loyalty and love.
    “We love you, we appreciate you, and thank you for being a bad friend.”
    @ 01h 11m 05s
    November 15, 2021

Episode Quotes

Key Moments

  • Gift Exchange02:20
  • Show Survival08:21
  • Birthday Celebration28:58
  • Podcast Rivalry40:14
  • Best Movie Ever49:31
  • Black Panther49:56
  • Family Time53:47
  • Fan Love1:11:05

Words per Minute Over Time

Vibes Breakdown

Related Episodes

Bobbo's Adoption Plan & Fancy's First American Birthday | Ep 108 | Bad Friends
Bobbo's Adoption Plan & Fancy's First American Birthday | Ep 108 | Bad Friends
Rudy Burns The Cookies & Bobby Fails The Wes-P Challenge | Ep 131 | Bad Friends
Rudy Burns The Cookies & Bobby Fails The Wes-P Challenge | Ep 131 | Bad Friends