00:00:00
what is up bad friends I'm so excited to announce that I'm going to be doing New Year's Eve shows in Boston Boston
00:00:06
Massachusetts at the wilba theater uh we're doing on the 30th and the 31st so if you have plans on either of those
00:00:13
nights you get one night off to come see your boy at the Wilbur Theater on the 30th and the 31st in Boston Massachusetts I'm so excited to be
00:00:19
bringing in the New Year in Boston and uh tickets are going on sale this week they'll be on sale on Thursday pre-sale
00:00:26
code will be Cheeto and then everybody else will get them on Friday open to the public but get them early they'll sell
00:00:32
out so andrewsantino.com is where we're going to get those tickets to see me in Boston for New Year's Eve and New Year's Eve Eve andrewsantino.com
00:00:39
andrewsantino.com two are bad friends who are these two idiots you two are disgusting my YouTube or
00:00:52
something we're bad friends I've been watching that show C I can't watch it anymore it I I hate it
00:00:58
you know what c is yeah it's awesome you see the whole thing yeah yeah who came back to the show bum bum bum it's my little Rudy girl Rudy girl Rudy
00:01:13
girl she hit her head or did she get hit Rudy girl was it domestic abuse do you want to tell us something about your boyfriend hurting you physically and not talking about it it wasn't he hit you in the head and we're taking him to court
00:01:26
yeah by the way two two core things going on you know why Carlos isn't here why because he's afraid he's scared he's
00:01:32
scared he ran scared why are you going so fast right now he ran scared you're doing great you know why why because
00:01:38
because he knows he's going to court for the kalala case yep oh [ __ ] yeah I'm pressing charges as well I know he made
00:01:44
love to her mouth he made love to her mouth do you know about this no you know Carlos the Mexican the Mexican character
00:01:50
he tongue kissed kalila when oh Mike you know what she's playing dumb isn't she dumb I don't know oh you liar dude anything this is he's learning and in
00:02:01
his mind he was eating her pastrami like it's a [ __ ] Deli it's a Jewish deli all the beef do you have proof oh yeah it's on tape [ __ ]
00:02:14
I can read energy dude can't you read energy big time and yours is [ __ ] your energy right now is [ __ ] you know what dude you're in your [ __ ] boyfriend beat you yeah put you in the hospital why do you Filipinos take so
00:02:26
much abuse he Chris Browner is it because of Manny Pacquiao no know and it wasn't my boyfriend who was who was it
00:02:32
it was someone else name him no oh [ __ ] was your boyfriend his boyfriend it's either nobody or your
00:02:39
boyfriend sounds like it was her boyfriend but I have a concussion yeah you do kid let's find out if you have a
00:02:45
concussion all right this is the protocol okay what year is it 2022. you're fine
00:02:51
that's it no is there more questions oh there is yeah what is it what happens um who's the vice president of the United States president Kamala Harris very good
00:03:02
president oh yes vice president yeah yeah oh you know what that means she knows something we don't we don't know is she really running the country
00:03:10
whoa whoa creepy yeah Rudy what's going on we haven't seen you in so long glad to be back so good you're back can I just nothing dude can I just say
00:03:22
something did you come with anything no he she did okay I have something to bring up what
00:03:28
you got emotional over some of the attacks you got from that clip oh yeah oh it happened the clips that [ __ ] is it you who what happened yeah there was
00:03:42
a clip of her not knowing about Black Culture and she got ripped apart on online what
00:03:47
do you mean I don't even understand what the clip was was it she was saying something about oh were you talking about how much you don't like black
00:03:53
people no no no no not that wait what was the clip she said something she was just trying to remember she was doing stuff with her hand I forgot what it was but like right and that I asked if like
00:04:04
you date like a black guy you have to know like you don't want to get attacked again so ease ease and do it fancy
00:04:11
brought a bunch of college students to the show today brought them to my show to go see me do an hour in Brea they saw it uh four not all them oh yeah all them
00:04:18
what am I saying all them came yeah they all came do you guys like it lies they hated it they didn't like it
00:04:25
at all did you two of them fell asleep were they on the list no fancy bought tickets like an [ __ ]
00:04:30
I told you to do that no I was pissed off yo yo yo let me just say something to you I know get him
00:04:37
we you know we rip on each other on the show right right we tease each other but you have to understand that we're a part
00:04:44
of a family right there's no difference between you and any of my cousins for instance uh a
00:04:51
little different but yeah I know yeah I probably love you more than my cousins yeah yeah yeah you don't like your cousin right and I would do pretty much
00:04:58
anything for you right so if you paid for a ticket it's just weird okay right so from now on you just go hey I need this many for this show all
00:05:09
right promise look at how uncomfortable he is so uncomfortable man dude in the Philippines are you gonna be like this bro yes yes no dude we're gonna bond in the
00:05:21
Philippines bro oh my God yeah I'm excited you guys are sleeping in the same bed in the same room right sharing
00:05:26
the room are we staying in the same hotel or no yes okay good get a room with two beds
00:05:31
get a room with two beds there's no way come on he's a clean guy he's not gonna be
00:05:37
able to share a room share a room thank you why that's offending me the budget is in
00:05:43
your room before it's whoa whoa what it's like riddled with [ __ ] what are you talking about sometimes yeah well do you remember Mexico yeah I was
00:05:55
high and on drugs using drugs I'm gonna bring up another uncomfortable thing why this is great
00:06:04
you know what sometimes we need a clean house that's right and sometimes we need to say what's on our minds or what's
00:06:10
really going on I know what this is gonna I know what you're you know exactly right the Jews oh
00:06:16
the Jews have taken over that okay I didn't know where you were going I had my own thing and I thought we were gonna be on the same page weed
00:06:22
what happened what weed no Jews your replacement oh jet ski I thought yeah oh my God this is all over the place what were you gonna say we're gonna say Jesus Christ I feel like you're upset that you think that jet ski
00:06:37
no has yes well let's talk about it there's some threat you're threatened by it I'm not yeah because you haven't been
00:06:43
on in a while you think am I getting weeded out be honest let's [ __ ] talk about it okay I'll be honest I I kind of
00:06:48
like it you do you're kind of like what the Juicy's here yeah yeah you like it when she's here and you're not here or when you're here together when she's here and I'm not here all
00:07:02
right okay hey man I don't think that's how you feel number two who do you like more dark or juicy I haven't seen Doc in a while you'll never see him again I messed up you may never see I miss him a
00:07:13
lot I like both but I only met jet ski twice and Doc this is a really good save because I know and I've seen before what
00:07:24
she's doing right now yeah I can tell it's [ __ ] it's [ __ ] not I promise did you not cry in front of your
00:07:31
mom on zoom and because of the racist thing but also you think you're being weeded out no
00:07:37
no so so are you saying the racist thing made you upset and sad and by the way I'm sorry for that I hope I'm I'm mad at
00:07:43
the people she's not racist by the way well like watch trivia okay who's Rosa Parks the one that had to go to the the
00:07:51
one the one that's not a good one the girl that had yeah back of the bus but she didn't go uh-huh and so yeah Booker T Washington I don't know her yeah that's not a woman
00:08:04
yeah it's not a woman I don't know him you know you've met women named Booker I think maybe she thought I said hooker tea yeah that's totally fair and that's also
00:08:15
somehow even more racist yeah yeah Rudy's not racist this show is a [ __ ] comedy show it is so what are we talking
00:08:22
about Rudy you know who Malcolm X yeah who you know Malcolm X yeah what did he do he's the one that's the same with um
00:08:33
I have a dream we'll be right back yeah no yeah the same one you didn't name the guy you what's the other guy's name I am the what's I'm blanket I know this isn't fair this isn't fair how do
00:08:45
you blink up Martin Luther King Jr Jr my bad and see you messed that up are you racist I didn't finish my sentence by the way I didn't like yeah you're right let me finish I gotta tell you you're not racist Rudy well you are to white
00:08:56
people yeah I'm I'm proud of that that's fine okay there you go and that's who you were attacking was attacking you or
00:09:02
was it black people attacking you it's always white it's always whites online doing all the damage you know it I know
00:09:08
it we all know it Pete dude when we leave here Peach spends four or five hours on online talking mad [ __ ] oh yeah
00:09:17
don't you Pete yeah all the time see also Pete I just on my spare time I look at the January 6th like footage and I
00:09:24
try to see if you're there you know what though him and I we got out before any of those cameras I know I think I saw your back I was wearing a mask so oh
00:09:30
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Pelosi Pelosi mess that was you bring this up this is how you know it start uh type it find
00:09:37
out who who founded Yelp who found out I gotta tell you you know it's a white person this is a complaining website let
00:09:44
me see it was a woman Yelp was founded by Russell Simmons and Jeremy stoppelman who's Russell Simmons not Russell
00:09:50
Simmons wait not Russell Simmons wait what really no no [ __ ] way did that guy found not Russell Simmons click on that
00:10:03
Russell Simmons oh my God businessman it's gonna show there he is go back as well dude go back go back go
00:10:09
back how about the white Russell Simmons put that white white Russell Simmons there he is right there
00:10:15
that's not the same guy yeah that's right that's Russell Simmons right so what did we find out again whites change
00:10:21
your name yeah that's right you gotta change your name dude right yeah we already have a Russell Simmons if my parents last name was Pitt and they called me Brad at as soon as I can I'm
00:10:32
Alexander or whatever you know what I mean but it would be cool to be the Asian Brad Pitt oh that's different if I'm Asian that's one thing yeah because
00:10:38
that's cool yeah yeah the Asian bread pits the [ __ ] that's if I looked like me it wouldn't be yeah Fred Krupp what you
00:10:45
were great in frightcrub ble by the way spelled s-e-b-o-n Tebow sick how is the temple break up I was in um
00:11:05
by the way that should have been an Asian bread that should have been an Asian Brad Pitt in bullet train of all people that deserve to be in that would
00:11:11
be Asian bread yeah yeah why is regular bed on bullet train yeah everyone around him is Asian yeah what the [ __ ] [ __ ]
00:11:17
racist so this is Russell Simmons this is the point who started Yelp who started the complainy whiny website
00:11:22
criticizing everyone's [ __ ] whites [ __ ] whites are at it again this is why you don't like these people right
00:11:28
now do you like me even though I'm one of them you're okay thank you you are because I'm a little bit different yeah you have red thank you yeah now how about Pete I like feet okay what's
00:11:40
different about Pete go ahead and say it because he has a bigger go ahead go ahead body what are you trying to say that feels like um a father figure yeah he looks like a
00:11:57
daddy yeah okay he looks papa-ish now do we trust fancy even though he's not white well he wants to be let me
00:12:04
tell you something this guy I've been trying us he is right yeah we do really love that guy but we do hate whites let's okay good except George I like George oh
00:12:17
Mike he's the most white that's that's one that I think has put his kid [ __ ] hates me why it's half asian he
00:12:27
[ __ ] hates me tell me who's this who's that who what's his name who is he the other day George brings
00:12:41
Tommy is that his name that's probably why I [ __ ] hate it yeah you don't even know his name yeah yeah as soon as I walk in the garage he [Music]
00:12:52
he like like freaking the [ __ ] out whoa right so then I had to put on Momoa what's it called Moana Moana Chase I had
00:12:59
to put on Jason just hanging out all right I had to call Jason yeah I mean be nice get these
00:13:05
locks but um I had to put on some Moana and then he calmed down but every time he would look at me he would freak out and then colella walks in and he's Melanie McCloud the second time runs
00:13:18
into her arms so I think I'm a [ __ ] I think they sense it no no no no Bobby they think they said something that's
00:13:24
what all babies react to you to Bobby would explain yourself like all the other kids explain when you go in front of their face they just cry ex is that a
00:13:38
fact yeah it sounds like a fact yeah it might be a fact yeah but why do you think you scare little kids I think
00:13:44
because I look like a baby but I'm big they think you're the biggest baby yeah so it kind of scares them they're like
00:13:51
well he looks like us but you know I mean he's so much bigger is this big big baby Gonna Hurt yeah yeah what do they
00:13:57
when they see me they love me kids love me because they I look like a clown did they really yeah they go oh they're
00:14:02
excited about the hair because they can't believe the color how often do they see this babies once
00:14:08
they're like it's it for real yeah and I'm like come on Georgie yeah yeah I also live in a sewer so that doesn't help when I crawl out yeah but the when they get to a certain age they like me yeah yeah when they're like
00:14:20
20. no no no no no I'm talking about seven like seven or eight they begin to like me because now you're a cartoon
00:14:27
character to them what you're like you know like Jimmy the cricket like if the Lemonhead guy came
00:14:33
to life and they're like there he is why the lemon yeah because you're sour and sweet that's
00:14:38
good that's why yeah yeah but look if the Lemonhead guy came to life that's kind of you obviously that's right I
00:14:44
never thought I'm a live action that's you yeah I never thought of it but how sweet and I and and I look like a literal clown yeah so they think I'm kind of a cartoon guy
00:14:55
too we you and I look this is cartoon characters that's kind of who we really are so little kids think we're funny
00:15:02
looking it's sweet there I am yeah killed it in that movie there you are God can I be honest you know I talked
00:15:08
about this on the show you know I tested for that role did you really yeah I did and I I be honest I'm not kidding you
00:15:15
tested for it and I and I worked really [ __ ] hard on it what can you and I didn't get it I can't
00:15:22
what's it can you do you remember any of the lines or uh yeah like how did you do it you played it real you have to play
00:15:28
it real okay so I'm being honest no joking around yeah I did do really well on this audition they actually said that
00:15:33
they were like you did [ __ ] amazing but they were being honest they were like I think they're gonna go with Skarsgard right that's what did his
00:15:38
brother yeah yeah they were like they're gonna go with a name but the the the I could tell you after the show who the
00:15:43
cast iron is because you know who they are yeah but he was like you [ __ ] genuinely they were did you go in Live or did you live live and I did like a
00:15:50
creature I like got down on the floor and did like a thing I did like an entire performance because I wanted it so bad I really got into character and I
00:15:57
was like plus you know I don't need to do anything to my hair and nobody laughed [Music]
00:16:02
yeah but look at that [ __ ] hair that's my color yeah that's my exact [ __ ] hair exactly they don't have to do much no I said just white and I'm
00:16:08
that white that's kind of my skin just give me a little bit of red and then I'm good to go I had a one of those
00:16:13
auditions where I thought I got it but like I killed it I didn't think I got it but I knew I [ __ ] crushed yeah but
00:16:19
don't you so I I just for Bruno oh really yes as his gay boyfriend oh right you'd have been so good so before the auditions I went to a thrift store and I bought the like jean pants that
00:16:33
were weight for women totally yeah I took both of my nut sacks and I just put it off the side we only have one not
00:16:39
sack Bud yeah both the ones testicles you only have one sack two nuts I forget I put one sack with the two testicles in it do you need to tell me that you have two sets because if you do you've seen
00:16:51
it I know you [ __ ] see it I just saw it but I put it off to the side so when I walked in my sack is exposed
00:16:58
right and as soon as I walked in the place just fell to the ground how did you not get
00:17:05
that [ __ ] roll they said you're too well normal face forget it [ __ ] off so then they gave me the dictator after that but like who got it some unknown guy right yeah yeah but um where is he
00:17:17
now I don't know you see but I remember having that audition going I crushed it yeah and you and I I could have bet my
00:17:24
money that I would have got it God you should have gotten that oh my God why haven't you and I just played a gay
00:17:30
couple a fun little gay couple that'd be great ugh and then like but let's do it for re
00:17:36
uh we're too well known to do like on the streets why we can do it in a place where people
00:17:41
don't know us I guarantee you and I go to like you and I go the Deep South or China or
00:17:47
Deep South they love us I'm talking about like I mean like like rural I mean out in the middle of nowhere like a small town and if we put makeup on yeah lipstick yes let's do it I would love to
00:18:00
like like a couple let's imagine this a couple you and I moved to Appalachia you know in the mountains to a small town
00:18:06
yeah and we're new in town yeah and we're opening up a small business imagine how they'd react to us right but
00:18:12
it's obviously you know we're making a cake shop here and we're only baking for gays yeah and they're like that there's
00:18:18
no gays here Asian there are now yeah yeah the only people that buy our cakes are gay Asians gay Asians so we're
00:18:25
getting an influx of gay age then we cast a bunch of our Asian friends to come in to play new gays move into town I'm introducing belleva to this area
00:18:32
right hey which Bubba do you want I love sucking on both yeah yeah yeah those boys down there they'll be sucking on balls at that store all day long that's all they do if you and I moved to the rural South to a small town and did like
00:18:44
a a character bit it would be [ __ ] amazing amazing how long would you have to be out there for a couple of months
00:18:49
we'd have to shoot a film it'd be a couple what do you think let's do it it seemed pretty it seems
00:18:55
plausible he always says that but it never happens they would imagine what they'd say about him who's that gay little French dude you
00:19:00
brought around yeah what about this Spanish Spanish do you think they go not to me it ain't what about this idea that
00:19:06
I had it with Cho but he doesn't really want to do it you and I are handcuffed with each other
00:19:11
for two months I see why he didn't want it we could never take it off two months yeah so we
00:19:19
[ __ ] together sleep in the same bed sleep in the same bed take a shower together yeah the whole thing how do we get filmed how do we live how do we live
00:19:26
we can eat by the way can it be a week two months is such a long time I could do it because the stakes are higher if it's a month by the time three weeks comes we're gonna kill each other what hand is cuffed left or right because we
00:19:39
we're both righties we're both right so coughing our right hand would be insane then you could only use your left hand
00:19:45
even more that would be even more frustrating wait wait so that's your right so one of us would be right-handed
00:19:50
and one would be left-handed right well we could face the opposite direction oh that's true so that's your left hand
00:19:55
right there so you'd have to walk backwards when I walk forwards yeah we could do that we would [ __ ] murder you know what I'd give up my [ __ ] right hand for that for for proper
00:20:02
direction just to do it I just to do it I would give off my right leg Yeah Yeah because you know I could jerk off with
00:20:08
my left hand prove it we'll do it when we do the show oh how funny would that be you have to hold the iPad I'll put the sheet over and I have to drink over my left hand by the way imagine you jerking off with my hand
00:20:19
handcuffed to your hand and I just have to sit there and pretend like it's not happening yeah end up would be weird no stand-up would
00:20:26
actually be incredible yeah it would be so well we'd have to go back to back we'd have just perform at the same time
00:20:33
yeah yeah we'd have to or we could do you could do your act I'm just sitting there and then it's once in a while you
00:20:39
go like this yeah yeah you like something I said and then or you could help me too yeah when I'm doing my eyes
00:20:45
let's do this I'll say your punchline yeah yeah but you also can be tags you'll go who was I molested by
00:20:54
but what do you think I'm down to do it we have to film it though we have to shoot we have to sell it first I'm not
00:21:01
doing it as a [ __ ] experiment no no let's do it let's sell it to somebody sell it first and then go we're gonna do
00:21:06
this fancy get on it okay what do you mean one week one week one week yeah he wants a month kid wants a month buck up or shut up says we won't last a week right we'll do
00:21:19
it 12 days but do we do it in LA or should we just go to a different city where would be the best city to do
00:21:25
something because I don't want to be in your house and then where do you where do you stay at my house no we would stay at a hotel yeah oh we do a hotel uh for
00:21:31
sure yeah that's the only way this would work yeah because I'm gonna see your wife and your dog and so that'd be weird I don't want to see your [ __ ] dog oh
00:21:38
that'd be great though if I slap in the bed with you and your wife between us that'd be weird it wouldn't be it would
00:21:45
be fun you'd be our little [ __ ] would you be able to sleep though yeah for sure no she won't
00:21:52
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00:24:45
okay okay we don't need an excuse yeah first of all we could [ __ ] any time we can [ __ ] each other whenever we want we
00:24:51
just she always makes it make scenarios about gay you you gay just okay excusing us of what are you trying to say each other no no we don't each other hey
00:25:06
[Laughter] that's not true we're just open I promise you this we'll never [ __ ] each other yeah sadly we won't sadly it's just circumstances maybe in a different
00:25:19
life in a different life it's just not worth it right now we've got too much writing in the line but besides we sleep together you sleep with someone you work
00:25:25
with it's gonna [ __ ] up our work relationship but I feel like Tito Bobby what is gonna like what do the first
00:25:33
move nope uh he would do the first move that's right I think that yes he would you're curious yeah he is that's right shut the [ __ ] Jules first Jules keep
00:25:44
going I just feel like you're gonna bring someone in the house and it's a guy oh so you're saying now that Auntie Kal Island him are broken up that the first thing he brings home is a man
00:25:56
you're making me so angry and can I tell you something you're really [ __ ] trying to I'm into this like crazy this
00:26:03
is actually a good feeling what kind of guy what does he look like what is the proof I just have I just feel alive kids got
00:26:09
intuition really you got Vibes so you think that as soon as you and Kyla move out it's gonna be a sausage fest maybe
00:26:15
no first of all can I just say this just to Define myself hang out with a couple of girls since
00:26:28
I've been wrong and they have no guys did you just hear what he said girls yeah made out of a couple of girls what
00:26:34
about guys no guys not in a long time no guys actually yeah a girl at the show yeah
00:26:41
yeah he kissed a girl out at a live show what in New York New York one of our fans in the crowd yelled out tongue twister foreign
00:26:52
you can still like girls and like guys what's on bisexual yeah yeah I promise you not no more forget not never gay I mean no more you're not selling it can I have that
00:27:04
again no I think you're not selling I think that they have that again okay let's see yeah yeah go
00:27:09
what's the line I don't buy it what's the line it would be fed lines holy [ __ ] anymore I won't be gay anymore
00:27:18
I'm never gay anymore I was never gay every anymore okay go action I was never gay anymore
00:27:24
ain't never gonna happen okay by the way that should be your clip on Grindr yeah when they play the video
00:27:31
I was never gay anymore I'm not gonna happen and scroll to pictures that you just naked yeah I don't I don't I'm not
00:27:40
what I'm saying to you is that I wouldn't be ashamed if I was I would be completely open but he's saying he's not
00:27:46
but you still think he's going to bring a guy back to the house huh yeah no well maybe to play like you know minky video
00:27:52
games that's what they call it what Jenga is that a new Street term yeah new Jenga
00:27:59
you've ever played it no I've done it yeah yeah you still you have to and then every block you take out you put in your ass I've done that no you put a dick a
00:28:04
block dick you know what I mean you push out the blocks with your dick no we put a dick in put a block and then
00:28:11
you pulled the block and then our Dick's cut it's a fun game dude Rudy what have you
00:28:18
been doing that you've been gone are you working at the bookstore still um she never did it no you [ __ ] I
00:28:24
knew you did never do it no because they wouldn't give me an employment letter so that I can get my Social Security number
00:28:30
I knew it I knew she was gonna bail I felt it in my bones and you know what I bet you some of our fans showed up to that thing because we told them to go no
00:28:36
job yeah I'd be scared to like no so you haven't been working no you still dating the same dude the guy that gave you
00:28:43
concussion she's sleeping and sleeping um you're doing nothing else baking oh what are you baking banana bread well thanks for bringing some they're really good well where the [ __ ] is it with
00:28:53
chocolate chips in it though oh great why do you ruin it with chocolate chips what are you doing I like chocolate I
00:28:58
know but you don't need it in banana bread yeah people do this and I don't get it you don't need it it's too Brown if it's just
00:29:04
that's not true you put some butter on that [ __ ] let it melt hot hot hot yeah yeah here's the deal make one banana bread with chocolate and one without
00:29:11
you put nuts in it no do you use bananas yeah yeah I mean you have to ask with this girl yeah you never know yeah do you use bananas yeah or is it plantains it's bananas all right that's her home
00:29:24
country food bananas yeah yeah what what what got you into bacon why did you start doing this I got bored yeah and I've just been watching Tick Tock and it's just all
00:29:35
about baking so I tried you're on you're on baking Tick Tock I'm not on that one yeah I've never seen one baking video on
00:29:41
a tick tock oh I also Andrew do not watch the chef's table on Netflix on pizza tried it
00:29:47
what do you mean turn it off immediately why tried it turn it off immediately you watched it yeah I tried one episode but
00:29:52
Bianco the first one yeah why no I just said so what do you mean you don't like it no you don't like pizza no I love pizza but it's just it's just yeah I I I don't know what I mean I
00:30:06
don't know [ __ ] explain you don't like the you think pizzas for anyone can make it yeah they can I know everyone
00:30:12
can make it but not like at a level like a high level I think they can I think Pizza is a [ __ ] for I think it's a fraud I think it's a scam no because
00:30:19
anybody how many [ __ ] pizza restaurants are there around the world you're gonna make me so angry all right so that one the forever episode Bianco I
00:30:28
think that's what it's called yeah in Arizona right yeah so years ago my brother and I were 245 000 pizza
00:30:34
restaurants but look up the one on down and uh in Phoenix Bianco it's just too many I just
00:30:40
I think everybody can do it [ __ ] face let me listen to you it's not that artistic would you listen to me it's for pizza
00:30:45
go ahead so I was in um Arizona and I ran into Joel McHale do you know him do I know who that is what is he
00:30:57
how do I think who he is what's his name right I love Joel yeah yeah yeah Joe McHale he was on the
00:31:03
community we love him so I was hanging out with him and he goes dude have you seen we've been to Bianco right is that
00:31:08
what it's called yeah and I go it's just pizza right I might need to go any pizza you guys not pizza dude yeah he goes
00:31:14
it's the best pizza I've ever had am I up my brother and I went there this is before the [ __ ] Netflix I saw right
00:31:20
it was incredible we go this could be the best pizza we've ever had and then by watching the documentary it's
00:31:25
silified it what made it so good it was the you can you know how you eat something you go oh this is fresh yeah
00:31:31
mozzarella right and there was something about the dough that seemed very Like New yorky in terms of the texture of was
00:31:37
it was it uh Brick Oven Pizza yeah yeah it was just a really good pizza yeah okay I get what you're saying you're right you're right I've had so much you're right I think you're right over the course of my life and then you go to
00:31:47
Italy you have pizza there you have pizza here you have you have like New York's original [ __ ] and you have all that stuff and you're like yeah [ __ ]
00:31:53
pizza's still pizza at the end of the day it's not gonna wow me the way that like but there's a difference between Little Caesars and that of course okay
00:32:00
good but that's like anything I just think they hype up pizza so much you're like it's not gonna make me go [ __ ] dude
00:32:05
not like a a chateaubriand one of these like crazy dishes where you're like [ __ ] what had to go into that was insane to
00:32:13
make it perfect you know what why don't you you make a pizza and then prove your point fine would love to and it better
00:32:19
be good dude I'm a pizza guy it's gonna be good I'm gonna make you a very good pizza you
00:32:25
have one of those wood-fired ovens no but I'll go get one for you you would for this show I'll make one
00:32:32
let you should put one at your house you have a nice your backyard could actually have one of those but there's a one that they have on the [ __ ] thing is
00:32:38
um they had one on a Korean lady in Minnesota yeah and she puts kimchi on hers no no
00:32:44
see this is my problem with pizza oh well this is what that's why I start putting all this [ __ ] on why it's
00:32:49
not pizza if there's mozzarella and some kimchi is that good it does not belong on there at all how do you know because
00:32:56
I know because ancestrally it just doesn't it has no business on that [ __ ] and she looks sweet but I'm not eating that [ __ ] I'm not eating pizza so if I went to
00:33:07
Minnesota and I think one of our pizzas place is called Lola and I go I made reservations I'm going to Minnesota tomorrow
00:33:13
will you go I will and have a kimchi Pizza okay are you going tomorrow right I am going tomorrow morning yeah and
00:33:18
you're doing the club there I'm going to Minneapolis yeah I'm doing a theater there yeah so go to Lola out well when
00:33:23
this is out I've already done it but yeah yeah but yeah and then we'll get the review okay that's fine you get a pizza with kimchi on I'm gonna put it in
00:33:28
my phone right now now I'm gonna go you don't go then you're a coward I swear to God I'll go all right what do I [ __ ] care I'll go to but here's the deal I
00:33:35
just don't have time I just don't like these experimental pizzas the show was great by the way I was being physician I
00:33:41
ask you some questions what doesn't belong then go ahead I went to a place the other night um what's it called Lola he's yeah hers
00:33:47
is called Lola Lola Pizzeria yeah I went to a um pizza place last night and they had honey on it is that wrong
00:33:55
cheese and honey just cheese and honey cheese honey and some sort of uh super success now or some sort of weird
00:34:04
um now we're gonna ask you some [ __ ] ingredients you tell me if that's easy I'll go fast okay go right [ __ ] honey
00:34:12
no wow chives no no artichoke no wow um bacon like bacon from the yeah I'll go again so bacon egg no they've had pizza on egg yeah they do
00:34:34
yeah anchovy no any kind of fish no [ __ ] no no any kind of fish nope right no fish how about salmon Row the egg get the [ __ ] out of here I will go back to your country
00:34:48
I love it I love it no how about this instead of um tomato sauce Chutney get [ __ ] it's
00:34:56
not me doing it get hit by a bus and get [ __ ] it's a guy don't get it it's a [ __ ] It's gotta be tomato sauce it has
00:35:01
to be 100 what about pesto sauce get the [ __ ] up get hit by bus get hit by two
00:35:07
buses yeah okay what about um this isn't the rules of pizza this is the rules of Andrew Santino's Pizza okay
00:35:13
so the rules of pizza are vague I've watched the pizza show yeah and they go back and forth on what is actually a
00:35:18
pizza what considers a pizza what's allowed to be on it it's it's it's endless it's an endless argument okay
00:35:23
Pizza historians have watched that show and it was like one party says this one person says this Roman Pizza versus
00:35:29
other Pizza is different people have different rules Andrew's Pizza yeah [ __ ] no way anchovies get [ __ ]
00:35:36
pesto sauce [ __ ] yourself you're allowed to have these how about this we'll do that yeah why do we do that I think that's a
00:35:42
better game cheese what kind can I use American almost any kind of oh that's interesting I've never
00:35:47
had an american cheese pizza but you know why it wouldn't work I'd be down to try really but not [ __ ] artichoke no
00:35:54
artichoke belongs on so many other things not on a pizza fine let's move on cheese basil sausage Peppers pineapples
00:36:02
[ __ ] you hey you get the [ __ ] out of the [ __ ] out of town pal with the [ __ ]
00:36:08
Pineapple pineapple [ __ ] you [ __ ] Hawaiians you don't keep you so you don't eat Hawaiian pizza it's not real
00:36:13
pizza that's Domino's Pizza okay Hawaiian pizza's Domino stuff that's why that's why trash Pizza okay so pepperoni
00:36:21
sausage pepper mushroom yeah of course mushrooms belong in there mushrooms are delicious what if I use shiitake mushrooms I'm in love I ate shiitake
00:36:28
last night for dinner whatever those other emotions that are like look like a little white sticks and with the little Asian Japanese ones what are they called
00:36:33
that they put in um Ramen yeah yeah get the [ __ ] out of here I knew it how about
00:36:40
this how about truffle oil a little bit of truff oil is okay thinly sliced truffle maybe all right yeah yeah I got you okay but
00:36:53
but okay but very hot but it's very lit it's done very limited and very limited very liberal limited edition sausage pepperoni pancetta's okay bacon
00:37:04
is okay okay meats are cool oh any meat chicken has no business on a pizza lamb where am I Greece I'm eating it it's a dependent no no I just I say I
00:37:18
think I think it's got to be a red meat to be on the pizza like a bison that's red meat yeah but I've never had bison
00:37:23
pizza but I'll try it really so you're not opposed to it I'm not opposed to it but this guy got It's gotta be [ __ ] amazing bison okay but like chicken like
00:37:31
those barbecue chicken pizzas nothing from the sea like a scallop Pizza yeah like a lobster
00:37:37
but go back to China Lobster Pizza no yeah yeah [ __ ] no Pizza Pizza has to be simple so all the [ __ ] on it doesn't take away from how good the pizza is yeah that's
00:37:49
the point of pizza when people put your heart is closed though do you understand oh it's clogged from all that meat the
00:37:55
point is is that like in Japan right guess what with the number one ramen place was for a while there Ivan Ramen
00:38:03
some Jewish guy from New York went to Japan I'll start one a Pluto's Pig a poodle is
00:38:09
one of their biggest I know but Ivan Ramen became a hit and Japanese people went you know what you know what I've
00:38:15
did the accident you know what right I try so this guy the Jewish guy moves there makes the best ramen in Japan this guy that dude does he speak Japanese no and you know what you know what he used
00:38:26
in there huh something that they would never use tomato what what kind of tomato and a Ramen
00:38:32
what is tomato raw tomato he would just cook in tomatoes and that was a thing that they never get out of here I
00:38:37
haven't no but that's not the Japanese the Japanese are gonna get the [ __ ] out of here right Ivan the Japanese goes let me try some of them yeah but you're not
00:38:44
one of those guys you're like get the [ __ ] I'm OG Japanese I'm old school Japanese right so if you were the
00:38:50
emperor of Japan kill him I would catch him killed you would I'd have him killed
00:38:55
immediately well I'm just trying to make ramen kill him that he's hanging I'm sneaking the
00:39:02
little tomato Ramen I'm just like it's pretty good oh all right all right so good I just think Pizza needs to fancy
00:39:08
was shaking his head Pizza needs to be low-key simple it can't take away from the I actually don't like a lot of
00:39:13
toppings I think Pizza should be very low-key you like Margaret I put a lot of [ __ ] in Americans put too much [ __ ] on
00:39:19
Pizza yeah no Margarita is delicious what about this let me ask you another question how did you do like one thing is fine can I ask you another question
00:39:25
about people by the way basil so I saw another one of those Chef's tables yeah where the guy did this he reversed cooked it I just hear me out
00:39:36
I'm already pissed off I don't even know what it said yes normally you know you make the dough flatten it out right yeah you put the
00:39:43
tomato sauce on it sure right and then you put the stuffed cheese and then you put it in the oven that's not what this guy did right you know what he did oh
00:39:50
okay so he he [ __ ] puts the dough down got it puts the cheese no tomato sauce puts it in the oven takes it out then puts sauce on and puts fresh sauce on
00:40:02
okay I'm okay because the cheese cooked a little bit it makes the sauce much fresher I'm okay this is okay so you
00:40:08
don't care about like the order is fine the order can change the order can change yes but it's got to still be this this simple ingredients right you know
00:40:15
if you want to but also cooking cheese on bread yeah give me some more of that yeah you can
00:40:21
cook more as much cheese on bread as you [ __ ] want with my house yeah I put so much cheese on stuff it's disco it's
00:40:27
repulsive because I went to a place like last night called Roberto's it's a new pizza there's one it started in Brooklyn
00:40:32
yeah and they have one over there by the air one now right it's called Roberto's Roberta's pizza yeah the good I've been
00:40:38
there two nights because I've been watching so I've been watching I've been watching the chef's table as soon as you get on a show you're gonna go do it yeah
00:40:44
yeah so once I so I've just been going to a pizza every meal's been a pizza really yeah once I watch a show like if
00:40:51
I saw a show on like bison meat you're going you're going that's all I mean you're going to
00:40:56
Colorado and you bison I mean that's all I'm eating right so then go ahead so anyway um so I was watching so there I was and
00:41:03
I was there and I was going they had a thing in there that I'm like what is this and it's stretched mozzarella on
00:41:09
the side delicious with oil delicious and then like a puffy bread a doe that they cook and a side of anchovies okay right yeah and I get this I don't
00:41:21
I've never seen it before I don't know what goes first how to do it so I just pulled the bread up I put some cheese on
00:41:27
it and put some anchovy and I ate it good good good [Laughter] I mean it sounds good I'm okay with eating it like that but that's not a
00:41:37
pizza I'm just saying that once I had the hand show of anchovy I'm like oh this is an
00:41:43
element that maybe the Italians back in the day sure disregarded and I think that you know I bet they used it you
00:41:50
have to open your mind I just don't want to that's how we both all right all right that's how I feel about food and people and things I know what I like but when
00:42:01
we did the hamburger thing you were open to that would you see that's because and what was that what was on that hamburger crazy [ __ ] great jizz yeah there was chiss on that hamburger yeah
00:42:13
so why aren't you open to [ __ ] new pizza I don't know it's something about pizza that means something to me all right
00:42:19
it's just it's because it was a kid all right pizza it just changed my life I don't know it just it was my whole
00:42:25
childhood was eating pizza so I loved it have you been to apollonius I love apples do you know about apollonia's
00:42:31
Pizzeria seriously oh where's that at oh my God that's like one of the most famous pizza spots in L.A yeah it got
00:42:37
all it got a lot it gets a lot of hype very very good it's down on like it's off of Highlander La Brea they're open
00:42:43
for like six hours a day max they're open like three hours in the morning three hours in the afternoon when they're out of pizza they're closed it's
00:42:48
in that little strip mall look at that photo of it too the third photo in or something like that fourth photo maybe no no go to
00:42:54
apollonia's pizzeria uh this is strip mall is on [ __ ] La Brea or some [ __ ] yeah look at that right there look at that that's it yeah man wow it's like one of the highest ranked
00:43:04
pizzas in Los Angeles County it's insane they're never open is it better than Hollywood Pizza on Pico
00:43:11
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check out thousands of cars today you don't need pizza dude a little scumbag I do I just don't care you don't
00:44:27
care about food at all oh no you know what happened what I know what do you remember the story no oh yeah you do
00:44:33
what when we brought your family out oh see he comes from the Philippines the first time in L.A and I go you know what I'm gonna be
00:44:45
the guy the tour guide and I'm gonna give them tastes and sounds and sights that they've never seen that's kind of nice right yeah anyway we go to um
00:44:56
that place in Echo Park that does deep dish what's it called Masa have you been there like it yeah pretty good yeah
00:45:04
so remember you and your mom and everyone went to Masa I got two deep dish pizzas
00:45:11
and I look across the table and what are you guys doing eating it's because we haven't tried that and we're usually used to like just to think Birds they're used to eating eggs bird
00:45:23
eggs do they have any bird eggs there yeah yeah that's crazy that you did and they didn't eat any of it and I saw one of them just poke one with like it was alive with a four like I don't know it's
00:45:36
too thick it's too what yeah you eat one piece and you're fine yeah it's delicious it's delicious I prefer thin
00:45:44
no no yeah no no it's good yeah thin is great I get you can eat thin more often but it you just should try that also
00:45:50
it's like when you go to a different country and and you gotta do it and case you you have to eat even if he's like these are elephant testicles you gotta
00:45:56
try you gotta try it you're in his homeland yeah so if I tell you to eat bird egg
00:46:01
if I was in the Philippines I would do what as the locals I mean that's the reason why he's never been to the Philippines correct he's not gonna do it
00:46:07
that's part of it yeah right you just choose not to go there and I'm afraid of [ __ ] one of those ladyboys because I know I'm gonna love it you know Andreas
00:46:13
and I are going Monday were you going Monday yep yeah he's gone me and Andreas are going to [ __ ] in the Philippines
00:46:18
Monday I'm so excited and you're gonna eat egg bird egg absolutely not just try once yeah for the show do you care about this job yes well then
00:46:38
do it for the show I guess so see he'll do it make him do it while you're there they should put a Roe versus Wade for
00:46:44
[ __ ] duck eggs I know in the Philippines this is article which side are you on I don't
00:46:50
know which side is that rower is that way I can't I have no idea I can't no because you know that's insane to look at insane to look at it's just absolutely disgusting look at this picking up its head Jesus [ __ ] Jesus
00:47:01
Christ it's insane and you literally would eat one right now right yeah that's insane to me but deep dish pizza
00:47:12
yeah bird heads fine fine yeah yeah pizza sauce tomatoes it's amazing I have something to tell you though what I followed your lead I cut I'm I cut porn I'm done no more porn no why swear
00:47:24
to God why I'm getting sober on porn why because I just don't I don't think it's good it's not and I find myself
00:47:31
going to it sometimes I'm like I'm not even gonna jerk off why am I looking at this [ __ ] yeah sometimes I'll look at it
00:47:37
without intent to jerk off like I just want to see what's on there so I'm gonna I'm cutting it out when it was when's
00:47:42
the first time four days clean four days I'm clean really well why don't should I you know do a pack I would love to do it
00:47:48
together all right so I did it last night okay so day one no do it tonight what do you mean start again yes so
00:47:54
should I watch it right now and then start again tonight no because I'll watch it tonight again and start at zero let's do that so because I was planning
00:48:01
on watching it tonight I want to jerk off tonight so I would like to start off all right all right so let's start from zero tonight great so tonight at
00:48:08
midnight the last last time last time last time 11 59 yeah if you watch it at midnight you've broken it right okay can
00:48:15
I ask you this too what are the rules no porn I know but in terms of if you break it
00:48:23
will you text me right away I promise you we'll call we'll have to call I have to I have to do the same thing so what's on the line nothing a thousand dollars
00:48:29
no yeah let's see who lasts longer thousand dollars cash we have to show it on the show
00:48:34
and the thousand dollars goes to something good we have to give it to somebody we'll pick where it goes can I think no no I haven't agreed yet no you said yes did I say yes 500 a thousand a thousand
00:48:48
done and it goes to someone good or something good yeah done charity it's gonna be for charity why
00:48:53
can't I just keep it that's not that doesn't work because that's not part of the pleasure all right all right because knowing that I
00:48:59
can take your money and give it to someone else is great to me I feel like you're gonna win this but we have to be
00:49:04
100 honest I am all right I have a question okay please when you go to porn do you ever search gay porn Bobby no I have a dog why what is your
00:49:16
problem she's just asking a question no I don't like it oh it seems like a value it's like a [ __ ] no good for girls
00:49:21
they do so I was curious do I Google do I search for specific things you know what actually do I search gay porn I do women and women women gay porn yeah well
00:49:33
guys with women guys guys with women who are lesbians yes this guy and guy just one
00:49:40
guy with one guy was there a girl in the building no just two guys there's a girl filming it yeah
00:49:46
yeah like like a boom operator is there one check out with tits that's just yeah no never a guy never guy have
00:49:53
you clicked on have you clicked on anything unique like like transporn or something I don't want to talk about that right now so you can if you want if
00:50:00
you say it if you if you have have I seen transporn have you clicked on it you see it I know you scroll through it
00:50:05
it's like have I watched it so look other categories there's like teen there's like
00:50:10
um there's uh old man porn which we know you love then there's like Mass solo masturbation videos then there's like
00:50:16
couples one so you've seen trans and there's transport and you click on it there's one let me just defend myself
00:50:22
it's not there's nothing to defend I'm not even defending it's fine it's totally fine I mean Dave Chappelle
00:50:27
wouldn't like it but it's fine I know so um there's this I don't generally like them but there's this one video I have saved on one of the porn sites that I saved it what I favored it wow and put
00:50:40
in a playlist never done that yeah why I have I figure when it's over it's over and I always when I look at my favorite
00:50:46
playlist it's in the corner right hand always going hey Bob yeah and I never click on it but I know it's there what
00:50:53
is it it's this because when I first clicked on it she was a beautiful girl she's probably still is yeah I know okay
00:51:00
right and it was it's it's the first um how do you call it transhuman trans person person yeah
00:51:08
person is a person beautiful trans person sure that looks the most I did like most they look like a woman yeah no but like there's just I
00:51:21
know what you're saying like sometimes when you see you'll see an Adam's apple you mean on the girl right and you go
00:51:27
that scene but you believe that this trend from the waist up I would probably put billion dollars it's not okay what
00:51:33
okay do you know the name of the point I don't know I think you do I don't someone tells me that you see it all the time exactly what I feel like I can tell
00:51:39
you what's her name I don't know the name I bet you do because I don't know the language it's spoken in okay so it's
00:51:44
there and you haven't watched it or you do definitely watch it sinner how many times be real in my lifetime I think I I put it in my um playlist why
00:51:56
are you afraid to click on it I don't understand because you save it obviously you want it you're like a fat person that like hides
00:52:02
cookies but you know you're gonna eat them at some point that like hides booze there's like who
00:52:07
this is gone forever it's like just dump it out then no it's like having um it's the comfort of being near
00:52:12
no you know it's in the house you know when you flip up that computer screen it's always going to be there comforting
00:52:20
you knowing I'm always here if you want to click me no it's like like X-Men go on right you know it's like you know
00:52:28
why is Wolverine hanging out he's so you know I mean he's just somebody you want to keep around
00:52:34
and things get like rough it's like X-Men yeah because she used to be a man no that's not what I'm saying it's X-Men no it's X-Men X people X-Man woman no what
00:52:47
I'm saying is is that you know if I was like Xavier Dr X got it right you know you know um we'll read this very like you know I mean do you feel like you just want to tell
00:52:58
me you like transport and you're afraid to say it I'm trying to find out an analogy you don't need to I want to
00:53:04
it's better for me let's here I'll go I have one I have an analogy for have you done it I have an analogy for you have you done it the way that I
00:53:11
hate pineapple on Pizza yeah the strength I have for it yeah is the way that you
00:53:18
love transporn right I hate it pineapple as much as you love transport that's not true it's not
00:53:24
the same thing no it's not absolutely not it is because I'm saying I just figured out what I'm saying I'm saying is it's not that big of a deal when I
00:53:29
open up and stuff it's not going to end my life to Pineapple open up and I say we have you though let me ask you yes I've eaten pineapple with Pizza on it
00:53:36
with pizza pineapple I've had that I have seen the transporn I've had pizza with pineapple on it good that's all I
00:53:42
wanted don't get it can I understand okay no no can I tell you if we're being honest
00:53:48
yeah I I clicked on a video yeah did not know it was that uh-huh okay saw it saw some of it that was that yeah I never come
00:54:01
I tell you what no that's a guaranteed I was about to come Bobby just listen to what I'm saying please did you come I didn't I what'd I do I switched to it quickly get away from it then come to
00:54:11
something else so you will masturbate to it but then you if you're gonna come to a point I'll just switch to a [ __ ] Christian one it's okay to admit this
00:54:18
yeah yeah yeah that's right yeah quickly yeah yeah I've never seen one but I did want to be I just want to
00:54:23
debate you a little yeah I know I know it's okay but can I be honest yeah I've seen the categories there and I there's
00:54:29
nothing there's something inside me that goes see what it's like just for exploration you've seen it I haven't clicked on it yet yes you have I promise
00:54:35
I haven't I'm telling you as a friend really I haven't watched one but I do think why don't I click on that who
00:54:40
can't why not let me see because you know what I have seen what uh OverWatch porn where the girls have
00:54:46
penises you know OverWatch you know what OverWatch is the game OverWatch yeah yeah they have like tons of OverWatch
00:54:53
porno all over the Internet and you've seen well in that in the animation they have the girls have penises in OverWatch yeah
00:54:59
yeah you know this don't you Rudy and like you know what OverWatch is I don't OverWatch OverWatch porn yeah it's a lot of like chicks it's a lot of chicks chicks penis and stuff
00:55:10
that's cool so I've seen that before does that count no no well actually doesn't well I tried to be I look dude I
00:55:17
try to join your thing yeah it's not a thing it's just one video from three [ __ ] years ago man you still got in your favorites I said I'm gonna delete it don't that's insane how insensitive
00:55:28
yeah I'll put in a different [ __ ] playlist a new one just a special playlist don't watch this anymore yeah
00:55:34
yeah stop watching Naughty Boy naughty list that's on the naughty list yeah yeah can I show you guys one thing yeah
00:55:39
go ahead new comedy special that I don't think you guys have seen yet and it's gonna blow your mind oh my God okay
00:55:47
they're gonna piss me off [Music] in the belly room huh so sick first Lee brother to put out a special that's
00:56:12
great that's a special I've done stand up on the spot 10 times no but he's making it a special you never said it
00:56:18
was a special oh is that is that what it is you think that was supposed to burn me
00:56:24
or hurt me it's my brother I think Jeremiah did it to take a shot at you well he has been texting me a lot lately
00:56:29
now no Jeremiah you asked me hey what are you gonna do scissor Brothers in my podcast I go I'll get back no never again never wow never around the
00:56:42
[ __ ] around why don't you call Jeremiah right now and say I'll never do your podcast I
00:56:48
will yeah this will be good you want to [ __ ] around [ __ ] around you want to [ __ ] hey start with that say you want to [ __ ] around yeah yeah I'm down to [ __ ] around
00:56:54
yeah yeah and say Bob say you think uh you think I Don't Dance with the Devil I got a
00:57:00
[ __ ] transporn video I've saved for 30 years don't say that hello you like to [ __ ] around what do you mean man I like to [ __ ] around too what do you mean dog you know
00:57:14
you like to [ __ ] around with the fire and sometimes people get burned you like to [ __ ] touch a sleeping Dragon
00:57:20
sometimes they wake up I mean you like to do things to provoke and sometimes there's Revenge what are you talking about I saw the [ __ ] video you did
00:57:34
Stevie leaves for special try rubbing my face [Music] dude I think he got funding from a
00:57:40
studio that's great that's good you know what guess what check yeah what's up no okay okay guess what pal
00:57:52
ready yeah no no what no I'm not gonna do scissor Brothers then yours other one oh well yeah say it again well you
00:58:04
didn't respond so this is good to get it in real time no I was going to respond that was nah I don't think so anyway um
00:58:21
burned them dude [ __ ] burned that guy that's what he gets dude he [ __ ] with Bobby Lee that's what he gets man damn dude what a [ __ ] guy huh you
00:58:32
want to play with you want to play with the guy you said you want to wake a sleeping Dragon yeah
00:58:38
all right by the way the sleeping Dragon should have been your nickname slept king is not as good as sleeping Dragon
00:58:44
so sick oh good that's a merch shirt sleeping Dragon anyway don't [ __ ] with the sleeping Dragon you're gonna get burned you are the dragon's gonna wake up and he's gonna
00:58:55
yeah I know I just said that man and his tail and his tail is gonna really know the analogy though you know and his tail
00:59:01
is gonna kill your kid why do you keep bringing his careless kid no his kids is great just kill it it's not that big of
00:59:08
a deal to kill this kid all right steal the kid and then give it to Rudy and see what happens yeah yeah he dies that's
00:59:14
exactly what I'm talking about you're gonna kill a kid will you kill a kid for me yeah yeah dude I love her
00:59:19
she's down to kill a kid what's the oldest kid you'll kill like how old is too old you're like I can't kill after a
00:59:25
certain age too old yeah oh is there no age you'll kill a human no matter how old they are
00:59:30
that's not true love it you hold so many [ __ ] babies and you love them be honest but wipe it
00:59:36
but white babies have you held white babies um no see different story this is a white baby that's true a white demon right
00:59:48
dude a future insurrectionist right yeah January 7th comes every year man we can
00:59:53
always return we can always go back you know if there was a baby right there I'll be honest and that thing was on fire would you grab it
01:00:06
you would I would would you I think I'd let other people do it yeah right she'd go help this baby no you wouldn't you'd grab it no you would you're a good girl you're a good person but if that same baby was across the
01:00:20
street in an apartment building three stories up and it was on fire would you get it
01:00:26
to be real is anybody watching the mother's like my baby's up here can you help would you do it in fact you get up
01:00:33
there what is your baby she has no leg no leg or legs legs no legs yeah so is she in a wheelchair on the ground she's rolled up to you in a [ __ ] makeshift [ __ ] thing oh and she's like my baby's up I think he's up there and like
01:00:45
how did you go is there a secret elevator that used as you dropped down yeah yeah how do you get up there and she's like no I I you know there
01:00:51
somebody got me down my wheelchair got stolen yeah and now what how do I what would you do would you run up there I'd
01:00:57
run away she's not gonna be able to chase me I know I think about those things at night help
01:01:02
saving saving people no like I want like if the baby is next to me I like this is the scenario I think about babies all
01:01:08
the time yeah these are the scenarios I think about at late at night yeah so I go would I and I go I would grab it if
01:01:14
it was just right next to me but why wouldn't I go in a burning building I feel like I would die in a birding building yeah yeah well the
01:01:21
likelihood is high yeah something would fall on you I don't know how to get in three stories up smoke inhalation you'd
01:01:27
get trapped you get trapped yeah there's so many different things that can happen but if it was my baby would I do it I think so
01:01:32
I don't know I don't know yeah I don't know yeah I don't think so I don't know it really depends your baby yeah
01:01:39
I don't know I don't know I don't know why you're so hot yeah your wife would have to she has legs get up there yeah
01:01:47
how about this though this is real yeah this is a real real question yeah no jokey
01:01:53
someone is getting when we were in New York right we were there on the subway someone's getting robbed
01:02:00
you gonna help it depends on what the rubber looks like what do you mean well I have to size up like if it's bigger than you if it's a dwarf yeah I'd help okay it's a it's a it's a it's a
01:02:13
woman but she's bigger than much bigger than you and does she see me oh yeah oh it might be hinder or does she does
01:02:19
see me she sees you you're sitting you're sitting down right there she's robbing somebody she I'm sitting here she has a knife some guy a knife she has
01:02:26
a knife yeah yeah not a gun not she has a knife I would take her down you would oh jump on her back you would put her in
01:02:32
rear nickname and what if she just stabs you right over right over the back of her if I'm like this
01:02:38
yeah and here's her arm and she just stabs you right in the face you're really gonna help someone if
01:02:45
they're getting robbed yeah but those are not thoughts in your head that you know I mean it's a instinctual spontaneous like someone getting robbed
01:02:51
I'm turning the other way I put my wallet on the ground I go go ahead take it I'm not willing to get stabbed
01:02:58
in the [ __ ] face I watch enough of these prison videos no thanks but if the person being robbed is a hot chick I
01:03:04
would probably do it in hopes that something and she's like thank you so much my boyfriend my boyfriend is gonna
01:03:10
absolutely love you yeah yeah oh by the way thanks for bringing that up you girls going you know when you drug message me and go hey I don't know if you see these this direct message but
01:03:22
can you tell Theo I've been direct messaging him like it I you've I've gotten some from you other guy comics okay I'm not a comedy pimp all right
01:03:33
maybe they think I'm not going to relay any of your messages well maybe this could be their your future I don't give
01:03:38
a [ __ ] man I'm not doing it right in fact for me I respond can I tell you though what you
01:03:46
would be great as a little pimp okay A little pimp is great look at yeah see yeah yeah you got the attitude why a lot of women have said can you
01:03:57
relate this to Theo other guys too do you know Krista Stefan all these guys want you to tell girls girls I wanna
01:04:04
I've been trying to I want to date him I want to [ __ ] no all right and those go no offense and then we think you're they always go no offense we think
01:04:10
you're funny to me like it's gonna hurt my feelings but everybody wants to [ __ ] you you're the most [ __ ] guy in the world right
01:04:16
now you're super [ __ ] right now free little bird I'm a free bird what do you think about Tito Bobby starting to if he wants to date other people what's going are you happy for him yeah if he wants
01:04:29
to do you get approval I don't care you don't give a [ __ ] who it is same age as you're to hold you 20. yeah so it's got to be older than 20. if I dated a 20
01:04:42
year old that would be weird why because we're the same age what if he wants a 24 year old half his age plus two
01:04:53
I guess okay 24. okay so 23 is fine then no 24 24. there's a bunch of college kids in the other room by the way yeah but they're 20. how old are the college kids
01:05:05
21 how old's the oldest one 22. so all these kids that you brought they're only here for a little bit longer I keep saying kids but they're young adults right right they're they're I shouldn't belittle them but they're all the
01:05:16
youngest one is 21. yes so they're all grown-ups they could all enter the workforce and do whatever what do they
01:05:21
want to do they all want to be in film right yeah in different parts of the industry do any of them have a future be
01:05:27
honest they're not listening I don't think so right yeah I could tell when I walked by some of them no no no
01:05:33
they do they do they have a future you want to bring one see if one of them will come in here and say hi
01:05:40
okay who do we bring in will you put the headphones I don't know you want the headphones yeah they're
01:05:46
right there what's your name keep talking to the mic Madison Madison are you white I am white yeah yeah hold
01:05:54
on let Pete sit down for you are you nervous Madison a little bit it's fine you're gonna be great slimes it's a really good vibe Madison uh Bobby wanted to know if
01:06:06
you're white good starter question I will have to know you can't assume these days what do you think she might be she could be native but
01:06:13
native white albino yeah like original white you mean like English yeah yeah old school white old-school
01:06:19
white right yeah um are you English German and polish and what part of town did you grow up in on
01:06:24
what city I'm from Connecticut wow so it's a lot of trees yeah yeah yeah sure Connecticut's beautiful have you ever been to Connecticut Hartford oh yeah the funny bone yeah yeah I get that yeah
01:06:35
that's not really Connecticut but that club had me once and they never had me back you don't want to go back do you
01:06:41
not really hartford's not a great place no no you don't that's not a that's not a damn I gotta get back to Hartford yeah
01:06:47
yeah yeah no but if you talk about Greenwich are you from Greenwich no you're from fancy people right I'm near like New Haven oh New Haven's okay is
01:06:53
that where Brent from Lauren yeah he is yeah yeah we know we know a white guy from there yeah yeah he's a good white
01:06:59
guy too so did you see any Browns or Asians growing up at all like this like this girl next to you did you see this kind of um tree you guys used to throw
01:07:05
rocks at that right if you saw the Rocks like get it down get it down hurt it no no my town was pretty diverse I'd say oh really okay you would say she's like tall
01:07:19
people short people Korean friend you had in high school Rachel Moon whoa that's pretty fast and moon is a cool
01:07:25
last name yeah right Rachel adopted a real Korean real Korean did you ever go to Rachel's house no no what kind of
01:07:32
friend we were friends yeah but not like we came to my house actually Koreans do that they go to other people's houses yeah that's kind of part of their agenda so Rachel Moon you narrowed okay so uh what about a
01:07:44
Filipino friend Filipino no no and even if she had one she wouldn't admit it yeah why because you're bad people
01:07:53
no I can't think of no there's no Phil I'm kidding Rudy we love you there's no Filipinos at all get up to Connecticut
01:07:58
how do they get up there how would they get up there climb you go north you go upwards East Side
01:08:05
very good all right so what do you want to do in the business Madison what do you want to do in the business um right now I'm working at a as a
01:08:12
digital marketing intern at a music uh record label and do you have money like in your your parents give you money do you have money what is that what do you mean because
01:08:22
let me ask let me just clarify may I clarify yeah I'm 20. I'm working um at a record label as an intern as an intern i there's half eaten sandwiches
01:08:36
you're asking how does she get any money to do anything like how do I make like can you go to Chipotle
01:08:42
yeah like so the money where'd you get the money from a job only fans that's what all these kids are doing what do you think all these kids are doing these days that entire room isn't only fans club oh that's true I had a part-time
01:08:54
job back in Canada and you saved and I saved right because I've known I've been wanting to come out here for some time
01:08:59
what do you think of La so far it's been like three weeks and it's all right well tell me the negative
01:09:06
I just think East Coast is the more Superior Cove I don't know I I don't know why why why why why why I guess I am biased yeah it's ingrained
01:09:18
into her brain well the weather's better no the weather here the heat wave though was ridiculous oh it was too hot
01:09:25
110. it was crazy it was too warm in here yeah well it's gonna be negative four in [ __ ] December in Connecticut
01:09:32
so yeah give us a call and we'll our dancers are brutal so you're right the east coast is probably we have prettier
01:09:38
people would you say or no I feel like it's so it's hard I know but if we if we took the top the top five the top 20 best looking people in La compared to the top 20 best people in in
01:09:53
Hartford Connecticut right who would win that well New York would beat us for sure we didn't say New York you're right
01:09:58
okay you said Connecticut I say [ __ ] Connecticut well we're gonna lump yourself up with [ __ ] New York okay that's not fair I would probably say L.A
01:10:05
then but they do they do they are new she she is New York she says New York I bet you if somebody's where you're from
01:10:10
or whatever she had New York and well Connecticut but New York yeah I say Connecticut because then I'm like oh I'm near Yale and they're like oh oh that's
01:10:17
nice but most Connecticut kids uh say they're like New York kids but they could be it as in smarts I think brains
01:10:24
yeah we don't care about brains it's obsolete yeah yeah dude this is my brain people pop poop I have one of these I
01:10:31
don't need a [ __ ] this what is this yeah mush how about this we're in restaurants okay restaurants we haven't really gone
01:10:38
out to like too much here but like you guys were talking about pizza and we are like the pizza Capital they are yeah New
01:10:44
Haven Connecticut we have Michelin star restaurants in L.A no no but they are the pizza we are the pizza ironically
01:10:50
enough they are probably like well Hartford no no New Haven is like pizza capital of the United States no it is it
01:10:55
is it is it is all right I'll give her that it's a little bit [ __ ] Pizza really really but they don't but Connecticut beats us and nothing else yeah literally
01:11:03
nothing they have pizza and nice people Madison uh you're 21 yes Madison is ready to enter the workforce you have a boyfriend Madison I don't why I don't know because she doesn't need
01:11:15
one but do you want one or you just focus on your career and your dreams right now career really it's like I
01:11:21
would rather just kind of like naturally happen well there's a guy out there what's his name what's his name Cody's like our brother
01:11:27
you don't even know if she wants to date both you don't know what she likes when they like them they always say they're my brother all right oh yeah yeah do you
01:11:35
like boy do you like boys is boys your go-to or no yeah you never know I know Cody's cute Cody is very yeah he's very
01:11:41
cute yeah very cute but it's her brother you know it's her it's he's just like my stepbrother you know
01:11:48
yeah don't do laundry around him don't get stuck under a bed or something well I'll tell you what Madison we wish you the most luck in the world what do you want to wish you a merry Christmas thank you thank you what are you trying
01:12:01
to do in the business again did digital marketing digital marketing I bet you can do it when you do end up if you ever because we we need a better
01:12:08
social media presence don't you think we need any of them we needed a general in general yeah maybe you could in a couple years you can help us I'll come right
01:12:14
back you will you'll never move to L.A she'll move to New York if anything are you kidding me she's and she's gonna go from Quinnipiac to uh she's gonna live
01:12:21
in let me guess she'll probably move to I want to say Brooklyn but I think I'm going to actually say Queens she'll probably move to Queens um and she will have a job in Manhattan
01:12:34
um and uh she'll get uh murdered on the L train one day no no no no no no okay I I you
01:12:41
know I I you know I have psychic powers I do yeah he does I just need to okay I know you're gonna meet a man he's gonna be a millionaire I I hope
01:12:55
right how many millions one two no he's gonna 12 to 15 million if you liquid fight everything wow if you sold all the
01:13:01
boats and everything he is 90. he's 90. yeah but you never have sex with them okay right positive that's
01:13:08
very positive that sounds great what sucks though is that when you meet him he's 90. and you think you think to
01:13:13
yourself right he's living He Lives to 160. whoa yeah he's the first guy any and he signed a binding marriage contract yeah you have to stay with them to the end or
01:13:27
they're allowed to kill you but you can get side dick sure that's good yeah do your thing yeah yeah so that's your future do you feel good about it
01:13:52
reach out to you guys if it happens in my future God bless I hope it does you have something my sidekick yeah yeah [Music] um
01:14:05
whoa oh [ __ ] I saw it holy I saw the vision go in your head Madison this is crazy all right hit it you're murdered in Los Angeles by fancy
01:14:16
B oh that was when we yeah that's what I got wait a minute that's you look like a nine-year-old man in my vision it was him it was actually you oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ]
01:14:29
it too yeah yeah be careful watch watch you're gonna have a great career and a great life and uh we wish you the best
01:14:36
wish you a Merry Christmas thanks for coming to my show hope that you found it entertaining it was yes um good did you
01:14:42
like a standout he's great and thank you for wearing the bad friend's tie-dye by the way that's very cool um we do want that back you do
01:14:48
have to leave that before you leave um okay okay so looking looking uh you can look in the camera there and you
01:14:54
take us out all right thank you for being a bad friend very good sweet Madison that's so nice thank you Madison
01:15:01
[Music] foreign [Music]