00:00:00
two are bad friends who are these two idiots
00:00:06
[Music] or something we're bad friends welcome
00:00:12
back from Australia who are you Andrew Santino's back I haven't seen you so
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long I've been sorry for so long I'm Andrew James Santino that's your middle name Andrew James Santino oh you know me
00:00:25
for 12 years a guy doesn't know my [ __ ] middle name what's my middle name
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no it's not yeah yeah it's Robert uh I do know what it is it's um
00:00:37
oh Robert Robert Lee is it Robert no udon udon right
00:00:43
and we have in the studio with us today sickler sick dog one of my favorite people uh who's in the studio Ryan
00:00:50
Sickler's here today clap right now everybody
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wait what is your middle name bro Scott I love it white names
00:01:01
my middle name is Young no y-o-u-n-g like I'm young and old
00:01:06
young Robert Young Robert Young Lee Dude after Robert E Lee
00:01:12
he is Robert Redford man you're you're a direct descendant of Robert no my dad
00:01:18
love Robert Redford and Stephen um Steve McQueen and my brother Stephen Queen and I'm Robert Redford
00:01:23
are you really yeah what color is Robert Redford's hair your hair yeah have you ever met Robert Redford no
00:01:31
is he still alive still alive right yeah I went to Sundance this is in the late 90s you're gonna like this sunnets is
00:01:37
his that's his assistance right yeah and I got my friend Tracy to see her brother's film and we go out to one you
00:01:43
know it's not all in one location so we go out to this one remote area to see this film there's a few of them there
00:01:49
and Robert Redford's there right and these people are asking him for his autograph and he's just saying no I don't I'm not going to give autographs
00:01:55
but I'll give you tickets to any show you want to see and this guy comes up to him he's like hey can I get your autographs like again I'm not giving
00:02:01
autographs but I'll give you tickets to any show you want to see and he goes wow you dropped your credit card and I got
00:02:06
it and on the back of that credit card is your signature and I really want your autograph he's like I'm Not Gonna Give
00:02:13
You My Autograph and just give you tickets he's like I'm Gonna Keep your credit card okay you can't remember his credit card he
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had to go cancel that no that's he refused yeah I like that guy that's who
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which how smart is that I like the guy that kept the cards yeah I never thought like oh yeah you're I don't sign it back
00:02:32
if you sign the back your credit card I don't never signed anything is
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I don't know where would you sign in the front where the numbers are yeah you shine right over the number I don't know right on top with one of those Sharpies
00:02:44
yeah sharpie yeah that's what I'll do B Lee dude I saw first of all welcome back
00:02:50
from Australia all right first of all say it listen when you were gone you [ __ ] hell down you missed me
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I missed you I love you and you're my friend you look like you lost some weight I
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have not even eating I know you look like you lost some weight yeah okay thank you to stop with the hand up at me what I'm
00:03:09
back smile at me spark it up okay don't spark me so I [ __ ] did an all Korean
00:03:15
episode loved it I did it all Mexican I loved it I did a bunch of [ __ ] you're no longer allowed to do movies okay it's
00:03:21
enough I did Borderlands I was gone for two months right yeah you did this one you're right Ephron right no more movies
00:03:27
Efron and John Cena and I just got offered another movie today no yeah just got offered another
00:03:32
one are you gonna say yeah well let me tell you who's in it oh Brad Pitt oh my [ __ ] god George Clooney
00:03:40
you ready for the last one you ready Margot Robbie
00:03:45
and me wow those three and me you're the valet in this movie [Laughter]
00:03:52
can I have your keys first of all the line is are the keys in the car no how many lines is that is the car still
00:03:58
running I don't know the light right no there's not a movie
00:04:04
but the look in his eyes dude it's just for that for the moment no I want you to work dude I'm just
00:04:11
saying that like panicking like because that movie's gonna be shot in New Zealand and I have to do five more without you I know I'm not doing that
00:04:18
I'm back baby I'm back and we're going on tour and who hasn't promoted the tour
00:04:23
you
00:04:30
I called you and I told you there's an over under in comedy right now on how many cities you all actually make 14
00:04:37
feelings we're going to all them we're going to
00:04:42
all them and the first one is going to be Vancouver that's this week and then we go to Oklahoma City then we do St
00:04:48
Louis Kansas City I mean we're everywhere we're Everywhere You Gotta Go you gotta come see you gotta come we got
00:04:53
such a great show plan and we're on a bus and I can't wait to be on the bus with my boy but let me tell you about some of my experiences in Australia real
00:04:59
quick because I had such a fun time and I want to fill you in did I eat kangaroo with John Cena drink Guinness yeah you better believe it
00:05:05
are you kangaroo part of the kangaroo is that like deer it tastes exactly it's
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gamey it's just like gaming no no but honestly you never eat animals that hop you never eat animals yeah that's a
00:05:17
Korean proverb that's why you don't eat frogs and [ __ ] bunnies what about rabbits what about rabbits we don't eat
00:05:22
rabbits dude they hop there's a Korean song it's about the [ __ ] rabbit this is real yes
00:05:36
in fact in fact let me see this is it [ __ ] truth right during the Korean War the north the Communists they
00:05:43
wouldn't get shot if they hopped [Laughter]
00:05:57
don't eat things that hot we don't eat things that hops so don't worry rabbits
00:06:04
frogs cats cats cats kind of hot gay people gay people you can't eat them either you
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can't eat them right yeah what else hops um oh somebody with one leg yeah he's
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hopping he's hopping for sure you know he's hopping yeah I guess that's a good Korean proverb it's a great one but yes
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I did I did have kangaroo and it was very very good I liked it a lot of
00:06:28
people don't like it but I I liked it do you quality you [ __ ] bastard first of all dude let me inform you guy who's
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uninformed I at first I thought should I feel bad about eating this I looked it up statistics three to one three to one
00:06:40
kangaroo to people in Australia they can't wait to get rid of those [ __ ] things they're you know when you're like I can't wait to see one then you see 40
00:06:48
000 you're like [ __ ] these things get them out of here no really they're everywhere you gotta be kidding me they're everywhere dude so they're like
00:06:54
cats where where cats all of what are you talking about you know those islands were like you see what world he lives in
00:07:00
yeah no I saw a documentary whether there's an island Cat Island yeah like in Japan or whatever is there such thing
00:07:06
as Cat Island Carlos yeah it's an island in uh Japanese island yeah yeah but that's what the Japanese did that
00:07:11
because they like huge [ __ ] I don't know man island of a kitty they love that they made that that was everybody and
00:07:18
coffee shop they charge people you know what I mean
00:07:24
they have one here in L.A no that's a cat cafe they do have a cafe yeah yeah have you paid I paid
00:07:36
that's so dumb the coffee's great isn't that good no in in Australia they're all over the
00:07:43
place and and I went to go see a Tasmanian devil and by the way I learned why they call them Tasmanian devils
00:07:49
they're ugly as [ __ ] these [ __ ] things they're so ugly yeah but when these when the English people came down
00:07:55
there to pick out where they were going to drop off their prisoners because it was in Tasmania at Port Arthur which is the biggest the first penal colony by
00:08:01
the way the British how stupid are these people they want to dump off their criminals in a place that's supposed to
00:08:07
be like treacherous and around the world Tasmanian one of the prettiest [ __ ] places I've ever seen wow great weather
00:08:13
down there so the Brits are in shitty rain gloomy weather and they're like I don't teach them to [ __ ] princess and
00:08:18
they left them on a beautiful island it was it's stunning it was so pretty but when you drop off prisoners on an island
00:08:24
yeah what do you do to the prisoners now what do the prisoners do party they
00:08:29
party though it was open-air prisons by the way so it was just like um Coachella
00:08:34
it was Coachella it was Coachella yeah yeah basically Coachella you know what I mean that's what it was but then do they
00:08:40
build houses and stuff I don't know yeah they built a life down there yeah and now it's a fully functioning Society
00:08:46
it's incredible no but they but the Tasmanian devil is called that because when the Brits came down there they when they're young and they are I mean not
00:08:53
just when they're young when they're in breeding when they're inbreeding they make this noise it's unmistakable it's so creepy you hear it it's like
00:09:00
it's so weird whoa and they do this heavily at night too when they're breeding so the British came at night on
00:09:07
boats and they would go onto this [ __ ] wooded Island and all they heard was echoing in the woods I'm so scared well
00:09:13
dude they thought it was ghosts and witches and they were like it's ghosts and evil spirits so that's why they were like put the [ __ ] criminals with The
00:09:20
Ghost and the evil spirit there are these little tiny [ __ ] animals they're just a little tiny yeah although they will [ __ ] you up they can bite so
00:09:26
you saw one yeah I saw a guy I saw a guy um he fed one of the handlers like fed
00:09:32
it you know like uh roadkill and he fed it in front of everyone and he said the jock is so strong it can break through
00:09:37
human bone okay I was gonna ask you raccoon or Tasmanian but now I know Tasmanian Devil uh honey badger honey
00:09:43
badger right that's what would be what would win honey badger Tasmanian Devil if a Tasmanian got the if it got its
00:09:49
mouth on a honey badger no no yeah yeah if the Tasmanian got its mouth on Tasmanian can't kill snake
00:10:03
do it in Korean um
00:10:17
Frank Sinatra did a [ __ ] English version oh he did yeah
00:10:23
don't eat snake yeah his Frank Sinatra one of the best I've ever heard ever
00:10:31
baby blue eyes yeah baby blue I tried though now but they're tiny and they're but they're little
00:10:36
vicious [ __ ] but I'm telling you the jaw the strength of them is insane he can look it up it's some they can literally break through your femur they
00:10:42
could bite and crack your leg in half so so can you can you have one as a pet
00:10:47
you would never why why can can you have an alligator as a pet but you know what
00:10:52
yeah you would never though but I'm saying you could have any guys but can I say something could I say something if you live in Dubai no no how about that
00:10:59
if you're one of those guys where they have [ __ ] tigers that roam around their Castle I'm gonna say something controversial give it but Tasmanian is a
00:11:07
living species right right and so they might have the same ailments that some human beings have like diabetes even
00:11:14
worse what like eight no like you know
00:11:26
oh so the Tasmanian muscular dystrophy yeah and so it's not as wild its back
00:11:32
hurts like Ryan you know it's more docile and maybe blind in one eye you know I
00:11:37
mean you could probably have one of those a blind uh blind Tasmanian Devil with muscular dystrophy yeah some that's
00:11:42
not one that's fully like you know I mean functioning yeah okay Carlos see if you can Google
00:11:49
one of those for the tour bus see if we can get one of those things on the bus have you been on a bus before you have
00:11:55
on segora's bus yeah you know his bus is nice for sure it's not gonna be like our don't whatever you got on his bus ain't
00:12:01
gonna be like that with our bus buddy really we have to get it you know how like a propeller plane you have to get the thing going we have to push the bus
00:12:07
together and we got a discount bus dude got an old school bus it's a Kickstart you
00:12:13
literally have to just get that got that guy is there no floor and we have to do like the Flintstones
00:12:21
how nice was seguro's tour bus oh my god dude so nice it's it's yeah it's not
00:12:27
like his the the his security guy both of them the one from Austin you mean with shaved head and the goatee another
00:12:34
thing don't forget we have no security it's [ __ ] Carl we have the Evo guy
00:12:39
who Brendan durman's friend McCone McCone yeah all right well he's never gone security he weighs like a hundred
00:12:45
[ __ ] security too right look at him it's me and McConnell where I come from that's
00:12:51
called a warning that guy we'd like you to get away we'd like you
00:12:56
too would you we're gonna [ __ ] you up first listen guys I'm not gonna have to tell you yeah
00:13:04
what's the food like in Australia okay Melbourne Melbourne one of the
00:13:10
greatest cities on planet Earth okay I like Sydney it was it was fun but Sydney was a city I recognized you know what I
00:13:15
mean Melbourne was so [ __ ] cool so many of yous so many Asians no no
00:13:22
so many [ __ ] Asians it was insane and so many different kinds of Asian food it was phenomenal did you get recognized I
00:13:29
did a lot enough enough for what your ego no just enough where it was just enough it
00:13:36
felt good well it was nice because I'm around the world it was nice to be like whoa dude fans here is [ __ ] awesome I
00:13:41
did a couple of shows I did two shows sold them out 600 seats of baseball
00:13:46
pretty good it was [ __ ] fun I did get recognized once in a while the the coolest thing to be recognized was by
00:13:52
restaurateurs when a chef would come out because you came into the restaurant that was way cooler because it was like
00:13:58
oh yeah Mr Santino we're happy that you're in the restaurant can we you know get you some stuff and I'm like yeah you
00:14:03
give me some stuff she's so gross no [ __ ] you man it was so
00:14:08
funny bro you know what you said no I wasn't recognized I went to McDonald's I didn't listen why would I go to
00:14:13
McDonald's in [ __ ] no that's true but no I had a great time and the food was so good so many different kinds of like
00:14:19
Asian fusion which is nice because I know you guys up in the you know up there you guys don't talk to each other
00:14:25
but down there man they all get along what do you mean up there up there where all the age and there's a China heaven
00:14:30
and a Korean Heaven separated tell me there's not I'm pretty sure there is you guys are absolutely not going to the
00:14:36
same I know exactly yeah you're in your own place yeah but we're on different clouds Yeah a different crowd it's a
00:14:42
different crowd for a different Cloud I wasn't sure if you think I was I was confused he thought I said crowd I thought you
00:14:49
were saying crowd say cloud
00:14:55
a different crowd where are they oh different crowds crowd
00:15:01
nice yeah what so you're right maybe there are separations of 100 there's a separation for sure there's a North
00:15:08
Korea cloud and a South Korea cloud in heaven uh or are we the same class I would argue one of those doesn't get a
00:15:14
crowd see this is interesting to me I didn't where I come from racism it was Baltimore was white and black yeah then
00:15:22
I moved to LA and I didn't realize that black people and brown people had a problem with each other and I was like
00:15:28
this is interesting isn't that funny to learn and then I learned about the Asian hierarchy brother
00:15:35
and he he we used to have we used to work with this really pretty uh Korean girl and he was Japanese sorry you said
00:15:41
pretty pretty Korean uh-huh okay and um he would always say she's a dog I'm like
00:15:48
what you don't find her attractive he's like no and then he explained to us that Japanese they feel that they're the oh
00:15:56
yeah Premier Asian race and that Koreans are the dogs went into this whole hierarchy of racism
00:16:03
among the Asians and as a white guy I was like it back and watch this enjoy this right
00:16:09
here you know the irony is they all eat dog so that's a strange [Laughter]
00:16:15
she's a dog she's a dog she's a dog he's just handing out dogs you get a dog you get a dog all right it's a joke relax
00:16:21
Bob after the podcast write his name down for me
00:16:32
yeah in the 1940s of them
00:16:38
and then just nuclear shout out okay [Laughter]
00:16:49
you guys all like each other I love it there is dude the the the levels of hate between Asians is it's not that bad yes
00:16:57
it is wow let me tell you something because I made the mistake of calling a restaurant another I went to go to in
00:17:02
like a fusion place and I mistook what it was and the server gave me the
00:17:07
[ __ ] like no it's a on the server okay okay yeah man this is some this
00:17:13
might be some of the best uh some of the best like Filipino food I think I've I've ever had oh this is a good crowd
00:17:20
[Laughter]
00:17:27
is this not a Filipino Fusion I thought that's no what what what is this
00:17:35
this is time yeah now what is the difference oh Filipino uh that you put mud in the
00:17:41
food a rock oh mud pie and rocks yeah yeah oh
00:17:47
interesting yeah because they said kind of something similar about it yeah about you yeah she was she was like a little
00:17:54
kind of like that sketch didn't go over well did it no it was I got that it was a Thai restaurant but what was the
00:18:00
accent because I went in for crowd yeah and it threw me off I know well you
00:18:07
landed the crowd that got a laugh the crowd landed very well no but the food was phenomenal uh the culture was very
00:18:14
cool it was cool like see also the thing I learned down there this you'll find this interesting uh because of to you
00:18:21
know America does this better than anybody but it was nice to see other people do it you know how there's a law or a rule but we'll do something to
00:18:27
skirt around it do you know what I mean and it's all just accepted and even the law won't change because even even the law is like it's pretty good they found
00:18:33
a [ __ ] loophole you know like in Chicago you can't smoke in bars anymore right but if you're a proprietor and you own the building you can smoke in bars
00:18:40
in Australia no no Chicago so like we have these been Australia so years and
00:18:46
years ago um there was a log in serving alcohol on private establishments after a certain hour of the day and you know they used
00:18:52
to have all these like strict rules about it so what they do what they did was they named these places hotels so most things
00:18:59
are called hotels right like uh the uh you know it'll be like the lamier hotel
00:19:04
or the Napier hotel and all the [ __ ] when I first saw it I was like let me [ __ ] hold this hotel on every corner
00:19:09
right why and they're only like a story tall or maybe two and they told me that that was the way around it that when
00:19:16
they would when they registered it they registered to bars as hotels and all they would need was at least one room upstairs for a patron to be able to
00:19:22
sleep in so if cops or authority came they'd go no no they're guests of the hotel they're staying at the hotel oh
00:19:27
wow so they could privately serve booze so when you go around Melbourne you'll go to all these little tiny hotels
00:19:33
they're just about bars and lounges can I can I rent the room or no you can't
00:19:39
what just cause oh okay yeah yeah they would give it to someone like me no yeah you could though no there are some of
00:19:45
those places do have rooms yeah but you wouldn't it'd be like it'd be like going to uh a bar here in LA and then it'd be
00:19:53
like renting a joke space you wouldn't do it you live there why would you rent a hotel but there are actual hotels real
00:19:59
nice hotels that also have nice bars so it's it's just weird juxtaposition but most
00:20:05
of the time the bar is just a bar called a hotel but you have to admit you were bored at some time bored yeah never not
00:20:12
once you called me and said you were I called you in concert [Laughter]
00:20:18
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00:22:45
yeah I'm losing my mind there's nothing to do you're mean like I was losing my mind a few times you know what it was I told sickler this too I was losing my
00:22:51
mind because it's so far there a couple of days I was getting stoned taking long beautiful walks and it hit me that I'm
00:22:57
like so [ __ ] far away from home oh so far like a new level of far a nine day boat
00:23:04
ride you know what I mean where you're like you're [ __ ] forever like isolated and sad you probably missed
00:23:10
your wife I missed I missed the Comforts of Home in the weirdest way yeah you know what I really missed Australia
00:23:16
these [ __ ] and their toilets dude have the worst toilet they're the
00:23:21
water level in here you know how we fill that [ __ ] up with what we fill that [ __ ] up with water so when you poop my poop better fall into kaboop yeah yeah
00:23:29
out there the water line geek a little baby water line yeah so you hit the bowl every time you [ __ ] every time you [ __ ]
00:23:36
you leave scrapes [ __ ] small then huh [ __ ] small that's your that's your new NetApp
00:23:43
I do a little rabbit palette no that's because you need to drink water can you control yourself like can you use your
00:23:49
sphincter as a a cut you cut it into three pieces
00:24:15
goes back up it might just be up in there far enough where it doesn't come back well that's what you put you you
00:24:21
you put air in your stomach it's a machine
00:24:33
bring it back out and you cut some more you don't guys don't even know that dude that's stupid the poop the poop is in
00:24:39
line the poop is like in line to get into a nightclub yeah right it has to go in if you don't let it it's gonna go
00:24:45
home no but no it's gonna go home if you turn your [ __ ] away it's gonna go I'm gonna go home and not wait okay let's go night nightclub analogy okay okay you
00:24:52
people are in groups us three right nightclub line right and then you have three Mexicans I just arbitrary okay
00:25:00
they're not gonna put all six in right they put you guys are three together you guys come in cut right so you're saying
00:25:06
three Mexicans like what the [ __ ] is going on bro so what you're saying is send the Mexicans back home that's what you're trying to say aren't you no but
00:25:13
that's what you're trying to say all right go back to your countries what Bobby's trying to say he sends the Mexicans so white people do it in one
00:25:19
thing I'm just learning something white people take yes we take a show we get it out you get all of it out okay saving it
00:25:24
for I'm not saving it because in the Australia situation when you have a little water you're doing an installments
00:25:33
layaway you [ __ ] and layaway I'm in there like if I could get every demon
00:25:38
out of me at that moment that's the idea I'm like a rapper when he gets a bonus check it's just it's all coming out yeah
00:25:44
you're saving you're saving it I'm spending all of that cash well maybe I don't know I mean maybe I'm doing it
00:25:49
wrong so do you think this is a white thing you think do you think many other Koreans would do this yeah I think Koreans we use it and we cut it in a
00:25:55
little pieces really cute pieces it's got to look cute I like I like [ __ ] on my dude I like [ __ ] on my own
00:26:01
toilet so much that I'll save it like if I feel it coming up like I can make it 30 minutes and I'll say yeah because
00:26:09
home is so much better than someone it's just you know your toy it knows you it no it yeah it's Comfort there I've got
00:26:16
everything on I know I need it there my group I've got my grooves ladies
00:26:21
my squatty potty's there it's all there I like doing it in like gas stations what yeah you like that and then you
00:26:28
take your time and those filthy [ __ ] that's where I'm trying to get [ __ ] and get that's where [ __ ] yeah because it's
00:26:34
like you know you don't leave the residue of you know when you poo you leave a little residue a smell you do
00:26:40
you don't I don't smell that's insane yes you leave a little smell thank you
00:26:45
that's insane what you just said okay stop saying stuff like that okay yeah yeah do you leave it a little residue of course a little something something yeah
00:26:51
my house never has the residue man what do you mean are you flushing also you're pooping flush
00:26:58
when you cut it well are you flushing everything flushing after you cut every turkey what yeah are you serious it's
00:27:04
like an elevator first group comes in you fly further to
00:27:10
the floor another group comes in flush yeah why you get one and done one and gone no Let It Ride that's why you get a
00:27:16
hydra flush the ones that they suck a fart right out of your ass those things are my favorites do you do this with
00:27:22
diarrhea do you already oh that's a completely different ball game my friend of course I cut there too
00:27:29
of course I do it's challenging of course yeah you do a little squirt slosh
00:27:36
little squirt flush I get this that actually made this thank you so much but in Australia by the way I found myself
00:27:41
talking to other people because I we we were like all talking about it that I was like I hit the bowl every time and I
00:27:48
said I feel like I'm having no one's coming over but even for myself I feel like I had to like
00:27:54
scrape it away yeah so multiple times I had to like clean off the bowl because the water didn't get up that high and
00:27:59
even when I flushed I'm thinking that'll take care of it did not it did not wow until I got to the hotel and the hotel
00:28:06
had the Toto Japanese toilet shout out to the greatest toilet ever [ __ ] made I don't know that what is it my brother
00:28:11
it's the one that has a heated seat oh this [ __ ] dude it heats up in the middle of the night when you go up
00:28:16
to peas Japanese you know it's Japanese because they're on a different crop yeah exactly you've never tried Korean what a
00:28:24
Korean toy looks like they do more what do they do that Japanese space they do
00:28:30
yeah the Korean ones have have a scissors that comes out and cuts for you you don't have to cut yeah
00:28:36
like a little um like a little robotic you know nanobot right that comes out it's like a cup right it takes a little
00:28:43
poo takes it away there's no splash oh there's no splash
00:28:49
right so the Japanese they're all right okay the Korean smells good they got it better I like the splash though brother
00:28:55
me too the perfect Splash yep when that [ __ ] Splash goes right back up into your sphincter and and not only cleans
00:29:03
it Lubes it for that next one Poor Man's bidet yeah
00:29:09
yeah I'm telling you those Japanese toilets when I came home we got on the internet
00:29:15
and I'm ordering one it warms the seat also it has so you don't have Night Lights like in our house when we redid
00:29:21
the bathroom um the guy was like Hey the outlets on the wall now can come with little baby lights as like a little night light
00:29:28
almost to illuminate at night it's amazing and I was like oh that's great this toilet when you get near it has a
00:29:34
glow ring below it and when it feels you it it glows the toilet so you can just see the toilet in the bathroom at night
00:29:39
so you don't have to turn on lights to wake up somebody else in the room it's [ __ ] amazing the seat's always nice and warm and it's got two angles of
00:29:46
bidet two mine has a two at home you have a double bidet double it has a blue LED light when I walk in late at night
00:29:53
right the seat gets warms but I still have them the [ __ ] little [ __ ] robotic thing too see you are in a
00:29:59
different crowd that next level dude you are Next Level I'm ordering one of those things they're incredible a day at home
00:30:04
yeah I have a bidet but but there's nothing like the poor man's bidet yeah
00:30:10
but also but the poo is making the water so the water has a little poo in it you
00:30:16
like it my ass has poo in it that's true that's true yeah I mean
00:30:23
right anyways you're right anyway theoretically yeah anyway what let's
00:30:30
stop talking about poop I had it I know me too yeah yeah I had I had a phenomenal time down there I did miss
00:30:36
you I missed you too a lot I called you a lot I know I called you a lot because I missed you very much and I wanted to say hi very often the hours were so
00:30:42
different the hours were great six hours in a day so it was great for me because when it was you know around 10 a.m you
00:30:50
know I knew that was the afternoon here it was great so he'd be up it was kind of for the first time ever we were on the same we were cycling the same
00:30:56
because most of the time here I have to wait till three or four to hit you up yeah and even still you put on read quietly I don't do that delivered
00:31:03
quietly stop [ __ ] doing that pisses me off can I I'm gonna say
00:31:08
something really honest yeah I have no idea what the [ __ ] you're talking about there's a you can you calm down and just
00:31:15
explain it dude this is our entire relationship let's explain it when I text you yeah it will say notifications
00:31:22
turned off by Bobby or whatever and it'll say delivered quietly meaning you won't get the pop-up on your phone so
00:31:27
you won't know until you open up our text it doesn't vibrate it doesn't ding it doesn't do anything it just comes into your phone I literally thought my
00:31:34
phone was broken you have it set to that you said I didn't know that you could do that you did it somehow somebody did it
00:31:39
I'm gonna have to change it yeah because it'll say delivered quietly I was gonna go to [ __ ] Verizon and go can I get a new phone that's broken well do that
00:31:45
anyway your phone is bro it is broken yeah yeah you do need to get so why do people do that like quietly because that's when at night the ninjas would
00:31:52
love that yeah don't you think ninjas with the iPhone ninja yeah yeah because you know when they're in the tree a
00:31:58
ninja calling another ninja she's got ninjas in trees right what was it where
00:32:04
else are they where do they live yeah
00:32:16
right right they're about to assassinate yeah that's it gives them away right the
00:32:23
people look up and go oh the ninja and then right right yeah that's why probably they have the silence and they
00:32:29
get back to the base and the boss ninja is like you gave our location away yeah yeah
00:32:37
yeah well what is that for though like if you're at night time if you don't want to be disturbed by text messages and
00:32:42
stuff if you want to like tune out and turn off yeah you put on the deliver notification to Carlos knows he's the [ __ ] text when you're on a date you
00:32:48
don't want other girls if you want oh did Carlos went on a date and he doesn't want other girls blowing up his phone and see another girl go who's that
00:32:54
that's a that's a car like a DM or something like that are you dating a lot right now by the way I mean I'm going on
00:32:59
dates can we tell can we tell the fans about the amount of uh glory hole requests this guy's gotten because yeah
00:33:05
I've gotten a lot a lot of emails about the glory holes I had people reaching out thinking it was their glory hole
00:33:11
they were like oh I think I know that one remember he went to the glory Hall in West Hollywood we think he thinks that they found he
00:33:18
found the guy the people that he went to yeah they're like me and my wife had one and then when we talked about yeah sex clubs we got an invite to another one
00:33:24
you and I did yeah well you never [ __ ] said yeah I I know we can when you get invited
00:33:30
well it's like every weekend we can go okay where's it at Beverly Hills and how much money is it I think we can roll in
00:33:35
for free and what do I need to bring just your dick it's at the shop
00:33:44
yeah no really I have to bring my dick and then what do I have to I think we're good because I think they're watching
00:33:50
right now you want to try just for fun yeah okay why would you say no of course you should go yeah yeah I've never been
00:33:55
to one last I guess I'll get nervous most people haven't right right you talk about it have you been to a sex club I've never been no sex club but I when I
00:34:02
first moved here I worked at a hotel and this dude would come in he was uh he was lapd's bad boy and this dude would
00:34:10
always roll in with two prostitutes nice and he was the nicest guy to us and he would invite us out to these things and
00:34:15
what he would do he was a rich kid his dad made the money surprise surprise and he would rent a mansion in Beverly Hills
00:34:21
or up in the Hollywood Hills and then throw a sex party and it was like Eyes Wide Shut in the sense that we could
00:34:27
come but you're not partaking you you might be able to meet up with someone at the party but it was like Israeli
00:34:35
soldiers standing next to this room in a Velvet Rope and then here's a guy and a girl [ __ ] and here's a threesome and
00:34:41
here's whatever and each room had something different live sexual act
00:34:46
going on why you mingled him and you did this you went to this I went to it I didn't partake or anything but I was
00:34:52
yeah we all went to it from the hotel like we all rolled together so but when you're there you just you're stoned or you're having a drink you're hanging out
00:34:57
at any point are you trying to hook up with anybody you're trying to talk to anybody you can to the people who are there at the party I'm saying you did
00:35:03
you no no you just chilled oh yeah you were high I was high but also like this
00:35:08
is the [ __ ] when I'm growing up as a kid this is what you hear Hollywood is like and then you get to go to one of these
00:35:14
you're like oh my God that's [ __ ] real they really do have this they really have these where do you buy annual Beats uh online or at uh what's
00:35:21
the store what's the one store that we've sent you guys to go get stuff to uh Hustler yeah hustler hustler yeah he buys them a hustler Bed Bath and Beyond
00:35:27
should have them in the Beyond Department yeah that's it there should be a [ __ ] area in bed
00:35:33
bath beyond where you know it's a little risque it should be the correct Beyond should be insane it banned should be
00:35:39
insane yeah it's never you when you go to a bed Beyond you there's no Beyond Department oh that's funny you've never
00:35:45
been invited wait there is one is it a white people thing so when I go to bed
00:35:51
what can I put Prosthetics on and go in I don't know we'd have to change those eyes buddy yes the eyes
00:36:05
[Laughter]
00:36:20
all right all right fine [ __ ] so what's in the Beyond Department it's for us tonight oh [ __ ] please tell
00:36:27
me it's hard man I'm sorry yeah it's like we signed a thing years ago but you're not supposed to I mean you know so we want to lose our 20 off coupons
00:36:36
you know who you know who's gotten you know who sneaks in well Carlos because they think he's a white oh that's right I think he's a white guy by the way and
00:36:44
Bryce fart he's too white when he goes there they're like get the [ __ ] out of here dude yes I think Bryce walks into
00:36:50
anywhere and people are like oh this is the cops no like he's an informant or something
00:36:55
doesn't he look like an informant yeah 100 yeah you look like somebody we wouldn't trust price either looks like
00:37:02
um but he works for the feds or he's a school shooter
00:37:15
by the way Bryce good to see you it's been a long time we haven't seen you in a while um and he said I appreciate it but
00:37:22
that's the way I like him minimal talk about that guy I love you Bryce it's very good to see you it's been a long time you're still tall
00:37:28
I was hoping you'd shrink this guy's domineering you know what I mean like because I don't know it says the thing
00:37:33
about like tall lanky guys especially tall lanky white guys you don't know he could snap in a minute and go go nuts
00:37:38
I'm on a crate right now oh yes yeah I'm I am no I don't know when I was playing
00:37:44
when I remember when I first play I started playing stardew Valley yeah and I didn't know how to fish oh that was me
00:37:50
that was I know that's what I'm saying thank you slow down be nice that was me that was me I taught you how
00:37:56
to fish and stardew Valley he gets excited that's what I mean about not getting into the Beyonce but he was
00:38:01
stuff like that he was so patient with me yeah he just you I used to I thought it had to do with
00:38:07
like the repetitive you know I mean button pushing no he goes it's just very casual man you just kind of flow with it
00:38:13
you gotta flow with it yeah you know he'd be a good dad you know video games he is a dad oh you are no no he's not
00:38:19
dude do you not know what the show is [ __ ] welcome to the show this is why
00:38:26
we don't have them around anymore I know because at least Pete will go yeah oh yeah yeah he'll disagree when you call
00:38:32
George Andreas if you always hear a baby in the background crying I love it and by the way fancy our boy fancy and the
00:38:38
baby I was checking in with him to see how everything is going and it's not good she's leaving him 100 yeah he can't
00:38:44
he doesn't know what to do he doesn't know he's like I gave the baby sambuca and I was like don't give the [ __ ]
00:38:49
baby dude you're out of your mind man he doesn't know what he's [ __ ] doing yeah he doesn't know what he's doing you
00:38:55
know video game right no not anymore see you know what's so funny is like he's tried multiple times to get me back into
00:39:01
it and it's just hard for me and it's not because like it's not like a time thing I've got a couple I could do it a
00:39:06
couple hours at night or something like that but every time I've tried this sounds like old man [ __ ] it's it's
00:39:12
daunting too many buttons too much stuff to do I I just want old school old school I can do a b you know what I mean
00:39:18
but he tried to he put me on like the best war zone
00:39:25
people that play the game yeah yeah they're probably real snipers and [ __ ] yeah yeah but I literally look at Andrew's character and he's yeah
00:39:42
[Music] you know how it Warzone you hit somebody and they can fall right he didn't finish
00:39:48
it off somebody else finished it off yeah I know but I shot him out of the building but his neck count partially I shot him and he fell off you named
00:39:54
somebody congratulations yeah yeah sick at least I [ __ ] maimed yeah and our team won by the way yeah because I had
00:40:01
the best guys in the country to play with I think it was you and I no I think I think me pointing the gun at the me pointing the gun at the crowds help no
00:40:07
and after that I was like I don't think this is Andrew's thing yeah you didn't have the patience to learn you're like
00:40:13
[ __ ] this [ __ ] I didn't it's too comp it's just too complex also I just I I I also know me I know I'll get addicted uh
00:40:20
and I'll be you because with anything like golf I gotta I get I'm obsessed it's like if I get into a thing I'm gonna be addicted like you and then I'll
00:40:28
spend so much time I'll be I'll be wasting more time than having fun yeah I'll just be addicted to not having fun
00:40:34
you know what I mean we're not used to play back back in the day we do Halo and all that I used to love Halo but we
00:40:39
would be up till [ __ ] I'd look over and I'm like the sun's coming up yeah I'd have to call in sick to work and
00:40:44
[ __ ] yeah it's bad yeah but for me it's like and I've passed it with four houses
00:40:53
I know it's insane what are you talking about what are the houses do what do you mean what are the houses why
00:40:58
do you say the houses because as a kid when you create a character you have to you know they put the Hat on no dude I
00:41:04
do nothing about it you've never seen Harry Potter the movie I've never watched one what are you playing I haven't either that's insane we're about
00:41:11
to start a couple of adult males a couple of adult males never seen it to me it's insane okay I don't know who
00:41:17
Selena is of course I know who that was [ __ ] that was was thank you it was she's
00:41:22
dead she died yeah you really don't know anything about Harry Potter I I told you more okay I
00:41:30
know more than I should know I I told you the names that's right things so basically in Harry Potter right when you
00:41:35
first go as a new student right a hat chooses your house wait a minute
00:41:42
patches so so so a hat is a room of hats you know what okay so there's one
00:41:47
[ __ ] hat per person no oh one guy's ahead is one half there's only one hat oh that's unsanitary yeah right everyone
00:41:55
yeah yeah so you put on a hat and it tells you basically in the ceremony a bunch of kids are there and they're and
00:42:00
they'll like they'll go uh Ron Weasley come up Ron Weasley will sit down they
00:42:06
put a hat on his head and the hat has a mouth and little eyes it's like a little Asian eyes huh right they said whoa I think
00:42:13
this is Gryffindor and the Gryffindor clap run we see leaves right and then they put another kid on the [ __ ]
00:42:19
stool and put the Hat on so that the Hat tells you where you go to live yeah but
00:42:24
that's based on what what is the Hat [ __ ] no it's a hat yeah because each each house has a you know like
00:42:29
Gryffindor is about like um exploring right they're like explorers Slytherin
00:42:35
are like people that are like greed or whatever so you're Slytherin no what are
00:42:40
you Gryffindor you're Slytherin no you're Slytherin you're Slytherin you're Slytherin you can't say it to me when I
00:42:45
just said it to you all right you're Ravenclaw fine and what is he Hufflepuff 100 yeah he's an Explorer
00:42:54
Gryffindor is the Explorers what's happening the lazy ones oh yeah I mean like the old Korean groundski yeah
00:43:05
it's sickler and a bunch of old Korean groundskeepers that's so strange that you guys don't
00:43:11
know like a very big pop cultural thing well I don't love it we know the elements that we needed to know we know
00:43:17
we know she was a bigot against trans people we knocked that out of the park I know that [ __ ] Harry Potter Ron
00:43:23
Weasley and the girl Hermione I know that's great I know but the names this is this is what I'm talking about in the
00:43:28
cultural Zeitgeist I know what I need to know from a framework stand up point of view I don't need to know like the
00:43:34
[ __ ] hat that talks let me ask you some questions this is very important sure there's a game that they play
00:43:39
Quidditch wow that's amazing because I took my nieces I took my nieces to the ride at the universe at um Universal I
00:43:45
did we I did the ride with them oh let me ask them this is fun um let me ask you another question okay um in the series of the movie there's one anime
00:43:52
you know I mean that is trying to get back nah now you're [ __ ] with me there's no anime porn in the [ __ ]
00:43:57
movie there is there's anime porn in the movie enemy yeah
00:44:04
they said anime didn't you say anime I thought I can't [Laughter]
00:44:09
believe I'm just rolling with it yeah I'm just
00:44:15
here to promote my special yeah welcome to the show you so you don't know about the anime enemy enemy yeah the main Nemesis I know
00:44:23
I seen it yeah what's his name Gargamel yeah that's pretty close though
00:44:30
Voldemort Voldemort yeah Voldemort yeah but he was originally named he was a kid named Tom Riddle
00:44:36
oh and who played who played Voldemort um the guy that played um so you don't
00:44:41
even [ __ ] the menu oh yeah I do Rey finds refines Well I like Ray fines a lot yeah he's great in it he was he's a
00:44:48
he's such a good actor and then who else is in it the guy what's my favorite actor that died that's in it he was the
00:44:54
uh Daniel Radcliffe House of Defense um legendary he was in Die Hard yeah oh
00:45:00
I even know this guy wait what's his name the main enemy what's what's sneeze
00:45:06
what is it Peter Pan Peter Pan not Peter Pan no um no oh what's his name I played Hans
00:45:12
Gruber enemies oh who are you talking about yeah the
00:45:18
guy that played the enemy in Die Hard the main bad guy yeah first I played him that's not Hans Gruber well that's the
00:45:25
character's name yeah but what's his name what Alan Rickman
00:45:30
Alan Rickman yeah yeah yeah okay yeah yeah Han gubert that's Hans Gruber yeah that sounds but Alan Rickman is in the
00:45:36
all the movies wow it's a great cast I should see it you should in our defense you don't need to see Empire Strikes
00:45:42
Back to know who Yoda is fast or Darth Vader facts so stupid no but but he's no
00:45:47
that's what High people say I don't need to eat a [ __ ] a burrito because it's like any other burrito that's not true
00:45:54
that's not what he's saying he's saying we understand what we need to know to get by
00:46:03
[Laughter] all the fans out there boy oh boy am I
00:46:09
glad to be back on this [ __ ] show and I want to say this we're going to say goodbye to Our Guest because he's
00:46:14
got to go live a life okay time out time out this Wednesday in two days Lefty son is out on YouTube go
00:46:21
watch this [ __ ] special on YouTube you should link it in the description boys so they can go click on that easily
00:46:27
and watch his [ __ ] special please and spread that it's over my YouTube channel Ryan sickle on all social media
00:46:32
subscribe to my podcast the Honeydew do thank you both for do it give him a kiss for the mic love you too Bob you know I
00:46:38
love you dude I do so much I'm so sorry what happened to you thank you brother he's alive thank you for having me here
00:46:44
to support I love you guys I love you I love you all right get out of here we'll talk to you soon
00:46:50
you know when I was just in Hawaii I used doordash so many times because they're the most reliable they have the
00:46:56
best options I love doordash missing the syrup from your pancakes sometimes we do yeah or just run out of your favorite
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coffee creamer with doordash grocery delivery you can get what you want right when you need it that's right love the
00:47:07
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00:47:12
conveniently like Bob and I do almost every time we tape this show we have to doordash something because we're hungry
00:47:17
and we don't eat all day because we don't manage time well sometimes you've trusted doordash to deliver your restaurant favorites now you can go get
00:47:23
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00:47:29
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00:47:42
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00:47:49
impressed just with how good they are at getting my groceries to my front door and you should to try it out get 50 off
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00:48:14
with doordash when you're in Australia do you just hold in all your come or
00:48:20
huh say that question again what do you need to know when I'm in
00:48:25
Australia I hold it in yeah because you have to what you think down under I can't I can't just rope one out oh you
00:48:30
do rope it out you don't think I you don't think I don't masturbate I know some people like Steve oh they're like ah no I saved it for a year well that
00:48:38
was that strange she did like a year of celibacy uh or he wanted to do it as a testament to his addiction to see if he could do that as like a I think that's
00:48:44
what he said yeah no I mean what the [ __ ] the first day I got to Australia I cried and I jerked off on the couch you
00:48:50
know what's so funny my patio faced like five other patios and sadly I was so lonely for the first week because we
00:48:55
didn't film yet and I was there without any meeting any cast members yeah I was hoping someone would like see me a little bit oh really just to be like oh
00:49:03
I was jerking off like at the window on the couch oh right through the window well I just wanted someone to go like this
00:49:10
you know but you know what I had a discussion with with oh with our buddy Brian Jarvis one of the writers of the
00:49:16
movie who's one of the such a [ __ ] funny dude yeah and Jarvis and I were talking about I have a funny story about Brian Jones we're gonna tell in a second
00:49:21
okay but Jarvis and I were talking about that about how like people can see you and all these windows face other windows so there's no privacy in the need to
00:49:27
close the curtain then it feels weirder when you jerk off sad in the dark so I said yeah I sit on my couch and no one
00:49:32
can really see me you know like kind maybe kind of or whatever and he goes you know what's so [ __ ] funny about
00:49:38
that all of us kind of want to be seen a little bit right a little bit yeah cause like he goes there's a girl that would
00:49:45
leave you know she would be like changing and she knows people can see her but she leaves the blinds open on purpose because she kind of wants to be
00:49:51
all of us kind of want to be seen you know it's like in New York you kind of want someone to see you a little bit
00:49:57
because even if they're like look at that guy's small dick they can't say it to your face they can laugh in their
00:50:02
apartment alone yeah but I don't have to hear it yeah no I might give them a little piece of laughter during the day
00:50:07
they see my little red penis and they might you might have a cup of coffee and go and that might make his morning yeah
00:50:12
me with my little red penis on the couch yeah give him a laugh in the card you pick your nose and eat it I don't pick
00:50:18
my nose okay but and you shouldn't eat it oh okay do you do it can I just say something I discovered the other day
00:50:23
Carlos and don't try it why do you have to rub a warning I know you're gonna try
00:50:29
this okay but I'm gonna tell you something I discovered I know you're gonna try it right is this gonna make me sick it's gonna be sick Okay so
00:50:36
good we haven't had enough gross [ __ ] on this podcast all right I will say it then no please yo you discovered your
00:50:42
uncovery discard discard huh you discover you uncover discard you figure it out I'm just
00:50:48
saying it right now you're boogers yeah but boogers I don't eat them by the way I would throw that out there you know I bet we can rewind the tape
00:50:54
right now from like the 12th episode and I we talk about you eating your booger why stop
00:51:00
oh you oh you kicked the Habit until I discovered something new wait have you ever Vaped through your nose
00:51:07
no you hold it a [ __ ] oh and it dehydrates all your books no
00:51:13
it flavors your it flavors I don't even know if I'm happy to be
00:51:19
back right now I'm gonna try it you know you're gonna try it right but don't do the first one
00:51:25
dude same one you don't want to do 15 different flavors up there yeah right just do one mango there's always a good
00:51:31
one you flavor your booger I just like one day I was watching Star Trek I was
00:51:36
alone on my iPad and I was creeping through my nose and I go and I remember the smell still
00:51:41
being in my nose like my house sounds mango it smells mangoey right and then and then you know the light bulb
00:51:48
wait the two of the nose you know is like mangoey right maybe the boogers
00:51:53
never didn't do it right away still watching the new Star Trek and I was like
00:52:00
it's like a mango oh God don't all right so everyone at home you know if you do
00:52:06
vape don't you're gonna try it don't why why would you teach people to visit because I feel like people don't eat the
00:52:11
boogers is because it's salty right it causes high blood pressure Salt
00:52:17
and this and that you know what else it is dude it's [ __ ] gross it is it's not just the salt don't eat your boogers you're gonna try
00:52:24
it Carlos he is probably there's no doubt in my mind you're totally gonna try it tell me the Brian Jarvis story that you want to tell me
00:52:30
oh well you know he's sober he's a great guy yeah and um I remember back in the day when he was loaded you know and I
00:52:38
used to work at the one-on-one Cafe yeah you mean loaded by the way uh he means uh on [ __ ] not rich yeah he was on [ __ ]
00:52:45
I know I know the word loaded and he's like one of those guys that like you always looked at him and you went this guy is just Talent she's so so naturally
00:52:53
funny so funny right and then I remember one day I go you know what you know I mean hey I want to take you to a meeting
00:52:59
he's like all right man right and I remember driving down the street he
00:53:04
opens up the door he just jumps out in the middle while I'm driving I see him roll and he's just running the
00:53:09
other way I swear how fast are you going I was it was a residential area so I was going maybe 20 miles per hour so he just
00:53:16
jumped out and roll that's gonna run I looked him in my rear view I'm like what the [ __ ] is he doing right and
00:53:21
eventually I got him in a meeting oh yeah but it was crazy that's that's my old memory of Brian Jarvis so when I
00:53:27
found out that he wrote them he did punch-ups on the movie A rewrites so the movie was written a long time ago and then it was Rewritten a few times so
00:53:34
Jarvis and his partner Jim did the most recent version you know what I mean with Pete because it's funny I've gotten a
00:53:40
lot of calls from producers that want to do a movie with us yeah well what the [ __ ] can
00:53:45
Jarvis write it uh would love to he would let's just do that I'm so down have Jarvis ride it we got to give him
00:53:51
some concept to write that we can't just be like write us a movie Andreas is gonna be pissed Andres is gonna be he's
00:53:57
got a baby now he's confused and also by the way yeah we don't speak Spanish that's gonna be a tough script for us to
00:54:03
[ __ ] read yeah you know I don't know I don't know I don't know it either stop
00:54:09
stop no listen Andres can have a hand in this but the guy's gonna be too busy produce it yes yes yeah he had ideas
00:54:18
you're just worried that you're cut out what are you talking about yeah you [ __ ] your Eagle got in the way oh you're projecting yeah you had a year with this
00:54:24
project dude nothing I wrote a script 18 months ago but not the bad Friends script yeah I wrote bottom to Turtle
00:54:30
Island oh did you really yeah yeah oh I didn't know is it good it is pretty good we definitely can't make it it's just
00:54:38
not makeable yeah yeah it's good but it is good yeah I mean and I'm sad now that magnum's
00:54:43
over we're not gonna be able to do an episode of Magnum you bastard man don't even bring that up man wait why I'm serious I wanted to do
00:54:50
an episode with you what do you mean they wrote an episode for you yeah dude I [ __ ] couldn't do it I know yeah I was in Australia Hollywood
00:54:57
is Magnum not Hollywood oh it is yeah and also by the way it's above I know also all the comments Kirk Fox did it oh
00:55:04
he's so good yeah he's better than me what do you [ __ ] find that's great he's a better actor it was fun well that's worth it yeah yeah all the
00:55:10
comments that say I'm more Hollywood is so comical to me because you know he's worked with the same level of like stars
00:55:15
but they do that because they placate his little ego and so annoying to be like oh said titiro's how you do the
00:55:21
same kind of [ __ ] that I do you do the same thing you do TV and fail me do all sorts of stuff yeah I know but you hang
00:55:28
out with them afterwards I don't I cut the line no you know why no they don't yeah I do you don't caught the line they
00:55:34
go hey they go hey you want to go out no I cut the line I know what they go oh cool
00:55:43
he's been sitting in the corner eating his mango boogers at this restaurant no
00:55:48
[ __ ] yeah I will say I will say this I did get to eat kangaroo and hang out with Cena and John is one of the [ __ ] he's
00:55:55
such a nice guy it's like a new level he loves you are you being real he remembers I called you and we talked about I talked the
00:56:02
same day I called you up because come on tell me more see he does remember the sketches because he
00:56:08
said he he made the comment about you know us together yeah it was very complimentary and was super nice about it and then he said you know I used to
00:56:14
do [ __ ] with Bob and I said I know Bob told me yeah and then we were just talking about it for a while he's a good dude he's great and talk about a guy
00:56:19
that [ __ ] has worked hard for the success it's kind of crazy it's like sometimes you meet people where you're
00:56:25
like how do these people fall face first into luck yeah with him it was like you can just he's a Workhorse yeah he works
00:56:32
even when back when he did Mad TV you could tell that he's just there ready learning and yeah wanting to do it did
00:56:39
the [ __ ] the [ __ ] exercises uh he plays piano during the day to keep piano up he then he
00:56:46
practices Mandarin during the day to keep all that [ __ ] up wow dude and meanwhile I'm you know jerking on my red
00:56:52
penis on my couch it's like I feel like I needed to do so much more yeah me I'm like vaping out of
00:56:57
my nose it's terrible when you meet people that do so much you're like [ __ ] I need to be doing more so what did I do
00:57:02
I bought a couple of books while I was there how many did I read there's no way you've read how many did I read zero I
00:57:07
swear to God I bought five how many did I read you say zero what do you say Carlos how many did I read two how many Bryce
00:57:13
three hmm I read all five [ __ ] all you guys I read all five books beginning to
00:57:20
end no you skip around no really I'll bring him in I'm gonna
00:57:25
bring are they Cliff Notes laughs are they Cliff Notes well down there
00:57:31
it's Cliff Notes yeah it's just a cliff notes yeah hey mate they're so [ __ ] nice by the way let me ask you about
00:57:36
Australians as a people right so nice but in terms of beauty ah can we talk
00:57:43
about that well we can all right would you say that there's a lot of pretty women but the men are straight look the
00:57:50
mullet they're Theo Von yeah is everywhere yeah he's everywhere he's king that's all you see is mullets it's
00:57:57
mullet City dude and Carlos is here yeah you'd be a god they'd build a statue out of this guy wow dude there's so many
00:58:03
guys that have like long flowy hair that are bald it's a Vibe but are they stylish at least the guys yeah it's
00:58:10
their style which is what Australian Bogan they call Bogan Bogan
00:58:16
yeah you're a Bogan mate so what is it khakis or no no they don't wear [ __ ] khakis you know what they look like down there they look like what we used to
00:58:21
look like in the 90s they all were like super baggy oversized you know like Doc Martens are
00:58:27
everyone has Doc Martens on uh because I imagine they dress like Panama Jack
00:58:33
right with the like the a tan vest no not being real right like it's a safari
00:58:39
hat no none of them alligator shoes no they're like hip kids they're like hip kid everyone that looks like a [ __ ] cool kid yeah we look like [ __ ] they
00:58:45
look like cool kids but that was the vibe that was the style was a lot of like mullet haircuts but it looked cool
00:58:51
they styled it and looked dope obviously it's not for me or you could do it I guess
00:58:57
you could do a mullet I've done a mullet before but it's not really your style you know
00:59:02
it didn't look good with me that's what I'm saying in fact I'm getting my haircut do you mind if I take a haircut before the tour I was gonna say I think
00:59:09
we should shave our heads for the tour I'm Really Gonna shave my head I think we should shell shave our head for this would you shave her head Jesse's got to
00:59:14
do it too then yeah no yeah Jesse yeah we all have one if we all have to do it as a family if she's gonna do it Carlos
00:59:21
this took me years I know we're trying to just play your game no I was thinking about doing like
00:59:27
a bowl cut I love that you know like like one of those like most beautiful haircuts
00:59:33
yeah who's Edgar I don't know I just agreed with them yeah but why do you what the [ __ ] is that he doesn't know what he's talking about Edgar what the
00:59:39
[ __ ] is that Edgar who what's Edgar and is it called Edgar yeah it's called Edgar cut and it's apparently uh NBC
00:59:45
says gen Z Latinos are crazy about it the story is that a young fan asked to Barber Anthony Reyes to cut and shape a
00:59:51
design of a Major League baseball player Edgar Martinez yeah Edgar Martin I want to look it up right now Edgar cut I just
00:59:57
told you I know I want to look what looks Edgar cut there we go yeah let me look Reyes no I'm not doing that so wait
01:00:03
a minute this yeah that looks so dope
01:00:10
you know what I'll do with you yeah yeah if you're down we can give each other haircuts on the bus you want to give
01:00:15
each other haircuts on the bus no I'm not doing no no no no no I need a trim a tiny no no I can't no I want to go to a professional guy and do it I'm gonna get
01:00:21
an Edgar cut what's the fun in that going to a guy who does hair let's go let's give each other cuts on the bus because you're gonna [ __ ] Nick my
01:00:28
scalp that's the [ __ ] fun of it no because I get boils oh yeah little baby bottles I have little baby balls on the
01:00:34
head all right we'll get a professional yeah but can we do this on the tour can we go to a black barber shop and get like Fades oh yeah that's tight I would
01:00:40
love to do that also by the way we got a shout out from somebody can I go in with Urban Bob or what no we can't do Urban
01:00:47
Bob we can yeah yeah I got a shout out from a guy uh I'm not gonna say the name
01:00:53
but we got invited to go to like one of the highest end um Diamond stores to go get like Iced
01:01:00
Out oh wait you and I did and now we did in Houston I'm not gonna say where we'll
01:01:05
talk about it later oh so what does I stop mean go Diamond should we go get [ __ ] ice like I like diamonds how
01:01:10
much more necklaces does it cost I don't know we'll figure it out when we get a grand 20 grand I don't want to do that I'll lose it let's get grills yeah does
01:01:17
that stay in forever no what the [ __ ] you take it out no but we can it's like it's like a [ __ ] what do you call it
01:01:23
it's like yeah like a retainer yeah yeah it's like a retainer and you put it over your teeth let's get grills please yeah yeah let's
01:01:29
do it all right [ __ ] yeah let's do it I would love girls grills for the crew how about what else what else do they do huh
01:01:34
what who where else can you put diamonds on your body you can put diamonds no no it's like four chains and all we can put diamonds on your forehead or you can do
01:01:40
like one of those Indian duck dots yeah yeah yeah right little Uzi did that I think Lil
01:01:46
Uzi vert has a diamond in his [ __ ] face well maybe I would just do like an eye oh your third eye like a third eye
01:01:52
but then blank these out because I sew these up right and I'm Cyclops but then
01:01:58
I wouldn't be able to see but you could correct yourself you could oh yeah those mango boogers
01:02:05
by the way your new nickname is mango booger mango Burger internet do it internet do it listen I was just kidding
01:02:12
about that to be honest with you
01:02:22
never even tried it dude it's like you know I just threw it out there man yeah I was saying science experiment if see
01:02:29
if it works it works I don't know if it does I've never tried it look at me in the [ __ ] eye and say
01:02:35
yeah never tried it I never tried it look at me in the eye and don't look away I never tried it swear to God no see
01:02:40
uh doesn't swear to God I don't swear to God well I've never tried why don't you swear to God I swear to God if I think
01:02:46
that um it's real it's real yeah yeah it's real yeah yeah if it's real I swear to God but you know why juicy is in the
01:02:53
studio today we should say that for some of our fans because she's on tour with Anthony [ __ ] dude this [ __ ]
01:02:58
steals Arkansas that's our crew he's a sucker dude he's infusing in our crew yeah [ __ ] dude he's lucky he's so good
01:03:05
at comedy otherwise we'd fight him we should still we should fight him I honestly I love that guy I know I
01:03:10
[ __ ] and that's why it's okay like if it was somebody else I brought Jesse it would kind of irritate like who who I
01:03:15
don't want to do this I don't want to do it right now I don't want to do it get
01:03:20
in trouble I don't want to do it right now um okay how about this what if Paulie
01:03:25
took her out because I think well Polly does right yeah Paulie does bring her all right so that's fine what if what if are they gonna throw up names no okay do
01:03:33
it throw a name what if who would take her out that would annoy
01:03:40
you what if Griffin took her out for dinner I would laugh you'd laugh why
01:03:46
why I would just laugh I would laugh come on no I would go to juice and go really you want to do this
01:03:53
would that if she if he took her out would you not let her back on the show as a punishment for a week at least
01:04:00
I'll make it seem like we're done with her right and then bring her back later oh my God right because that's a little
01:04:06
if he has to uh-huh that's betrayal that is he's too close to us too close yeah too close
01:04:11
um eat him or in fact any of our friend Circle no yeah right if it's somebody we
01:04:18
don't know like Dr Drew fine I love Dr Drew you know what I mean she could open for him what if a mayor
01:04:23
like Marin that's interesting though it is an interesting one because he could he
01:04:29
might that is kind of like her vibe you know what sickler said about her that I thought was very nice and you didn't say it when we talked he goes you know what
01:04:35
the reason that she's such a good fit she has such a great disposition she's like such a positive [ __ ] Vibe no
01:04:41
she's not just she's such a good one of the greatest people I've ever met I think in my life I'm honestly she doesn't have a bad bone in her body in
01:04:48
her body she's just really just well look she's a great comic is with the the a that a a the first thing good great
01:04:54
comic but then like her mood her thing the thing I can't describe so she won't
01:04:59
talk bad about anybody no she doesn't want how does he feel about this person she won't do it she goes another whatever yeah yeah and you go yeah but
01:05:05
they're really good girl they talk [ __ ] about you and she'll go that's a bummer and then she'd move on meanwhile if I said that about you if I say you know
01:05:11
who talks [ __ ] about you you're like I'm gonna [ __ ] it's the Korean side that is and you
01:05:17
know what that's not your fault it's a cultural thing speaking of Koreans go watch beef on Netflix Oh beef just came
01:05:23
out I know I see the Billboards I haven't seen it just came out yeah you happy with it I haven't seen it yeah they did it Premiere I couldn't go
01:05:29
because I was her show was really good he is yeah Steven young was he yeah there's so many good people
01:05:35
in that you're on it I'm in it but I'm not really in it you'll miss me if you watched it you wouldn't even know I'm there really no I mean also they you
01:05:43
know I couldn't go to the premiere because I just got back from Australia and I was working yeah and then I you know got asked by a few people like why
01:05:48
wouldn't you go and I said have you seen the [ __ ] pictures online
01:05:54
what do you mean it's it's [ __ ] 37 Asians why would I be the one [ __ ]
01:05:59
like hey I already have that it's the house party poster I'm [ __ ] the only dumb white guy yeah yeah hey wow wow I
01:06:06
don't need that again and also you want to talk about a moment for [ __ ] people of color or minorities this is an
01:06:11
all Asian show it's it's a I think it's probably one of the first of its kind that has that many main character all
01:06:17
ages 100 right yeah so what am I [ __ ] doing there they should have not invited me they should be like you can't come
01:06:23
you white [ __ ] devil because they want to use the best Sunny thinks you're great no no I'm saying for the promotion
01:06:30
of it at the premiere it's like I don't need to be there for that's you guys it's time to shine yeah what am I gonna do also I'm barely in it I'm not it's
01:06:36
also weird like I I went to Bert Kreischer and Whitney's you know um only fans roast uh screening and they're like
01:06:43
going the the line go in the [ __ ] um you know the Press line oh right right
01:06:49
I'm like I'm not in it you're not in it yeah and they're like please like I'm not doing it well because you're not in it not in it but why would I have to do
01:06:55
that if you're in it it's different I'll do it right right so it's like but that's the other thing why I wouldn't do
01:07:00
anything I mean I would promote it online I promote posted about it but it's like me going to the premiere even if I could I wasn't here but even if I
01:07:07
could it's like this is not for me do you know what I mean yeah it's like it's for them it's for Stephen and Alex
01:07:15
Koreans love you I love them too we love you you know I know but I'm just saying Carlos he's
01:07:21
nodding off he gets me I'm saying I'm not naughty yeah why are you nodding no I was just thinking no because he's not he's using again
01:07:26
he's [ __ ] nodding off dude I've seen him do it three times today you're fentanyl are you fattening again I mean
01:07:32
just no I'm at one milligram of fentanyl because I saw on the bus ads that it takes two to overdose
01:07:37
so you need one see he's half docent are you being real man no of course we're gonna keep we're gonna keep it
01:07:44
what a beef is that a hundred percent on Rotten Tomatoes that's amazing yeah that's great well it's not because of me
01:07:49
it's [ __ ] good those guys are so good in that thing dude honestly when I when I saw some of the scenes I wasn't in
01:07:55
just like watching I was like I'm just doing a fun good show yeah that's a little jealous I wasn't Korean what
01:08:01
you're imagine being the only white guy on a Korean show that's how good you are
01:08:06
as a white I know but they used to they would throw stuff at me at lunch oh really what all the Korean that's rice
01:08:11
it doesn't hurt but handfuls of it hurts yeah oh I see and it's not wet rice it's hard it's
01:08:17
hard it's uncooked rice right and they go Lunch is ready white devil and they would Hawk rice at me yeah and then
01:08:23
honestly yeah they would they'd make me take off my clothes and wear tidy whities I had to wear tighty whitey underwear yeah that's a wardrobe set so
01:08:28
I never wore boxers and they were tidy ways and they would hit me with rice and then I had to eat it raw and pick it up one by one like have you ever been on a
01:08:35
set where it was like all Asians probably not that was probably the first set you've ever been on that that's like that that or the Jet Li film I did
01:08:41
[Laughter] no and you know what it was [ __ ] you
01:08:48
know what's fascinating about that show not like I need to we're not plugging the show but like it was such a great perspective of like what it's like
01:08:54
feeling like a young Korean America in Los in Los Angeles yeah and the culture
01:08:59
and the subculture that existed in their world particularly because we weave in and out of religion and they talk a lot about like going to church in it and
01:09:05
these church people and to see that as a kid who not not a church guy but I saw
01:09:11
white people do that in our world and I was like this is cool to see the perspective of a Korean sure because how
01:09:16
how serious some of them take it because some of the Koreans in church that's like holy [ __ ] [ __ ] yeah I might
01:09:22
start going that's like some white [ __ ] the way that you guys are with church is like some white people [ __ ] yeah and it was cool as [ __ ] to see beyond the fact
01:09:29
that Sunny made an amazing show I'm just saying perspective wise it was cool to watch another culture's perspective on
01:09:35
things that we could also compare to and go oh wow that's [ __ ] that sick yeah yeah it was dope the show was [ __ ]
01:09:44
God bless Asians man good people yeah great people we're the best not the best
01:09:50
no chance I know we're good you're up there and we're up there you know who goes first let me guess
01:09:56
in terms of Asians or just white people oh people just people redheads not redheads you're last no not last you're
01:10:04
second to last close yeah yeah we'll be third or second to laugh yeah yeah white people black oh for sure yeah
01:10:11
blacks are the best they're the best well they do yeah they're the best yeah and then Asians smell so good Asians
01:10:17
that's weird what last night go ahead
01:10:23
you smell someone that smell really good well Dave Hellam brought me up I love Dave and he always hugs me yeah and I
01:10:29
smelled him yeah yeah it's like this sweet you know
01:10:35
sweet sweet smooth it's like their cigarettes
01:10:42
sweet smooth yeah okay black people so like slick they smell like that that
01:10:48
sounds racist yeah it does it's not it does I was slick bad slick always is a term of like oh look at this guy's
01:10:53
[ __ ] things he's slick like cool cat cool cat yeah right like 19. I smell them I was like and I want to go
01:11:00
like he left after because I went up after him uh I want to go how do I get that smooth yeah I have to have another
01:11:07
life and he's like nah you'd be like nah nah not for you yeah not for me I'm more
01:11:12
um pungent yeah is it good yeah so if he's sweet smooth yeah yeah you're pungent rough
01:11:19
yeah you know um you know what it's like stale fruit
01:11:25
you stale fruit I'm still fruit what am I oh you're um dry wood old baloney
01:11:30
dried wood actually is exactly what white people smell like dried wood dry wood yeah yeah what about Carlos what
01:11:36
about uh Mexicans um [ __ ] that's a hard one huh Mexicans well
01:11:42
he's different because he's like an imposter Mexican yeah he's not one of the ones that we love like this guy you know this guy doesn't make a Pupusa no
01:11:48
[ __ ] way no I can't make pupusa no that's what I'm saying it's like he's a [ __ ] phony Mexican I would order pupusa see though see yeah like a
01:11:55
[ __ ] white yeah I'll order pupusas [ __ ] white
01:12:01
um soccer ball being I don't know
01:12:07
I'm trying to find what do Mexicans smell like to you um laundry
01:12:12
that's good yeah laundry they always smell like clean laundry yeah yeah every neighborhood I go to yeah on the east
01:12:18
side smells like laundered Frijoles London Frijoles is that offensive no no it's kind of
01:12:25
like right on we're kidding we're all kidding we're all kidding we're all kidding for [ __ ] sake internet yeah I want to take this time while you sip
01:12:32
your water to thank you so much for holding down the bad friends family Fort you Bryce George fancy Carlos thank you
01:12:40
for holding down when I was gone you've done it always done it you know that's we help each other we got to keep this thing going this is the bad friend's
01:12:46
family yeah and I'm serious when I say this I ca I seriously genuinely can't wait for people to see what we've got planned for the tour on the live show
01:12:53
you're gonna get stand up from both of us you're gonna get stand up from juicy you're gonna get bits live bits interactive bits that Carlos is working
01:13:00
on now audience members when you show up this is phenomenal this is the first time we've talked about it there is
01:13:05
going to be a code that they can sign up to be members of the physical live show to come on stage perhaps to maybe
01:13:11
interact with us to maybe get another slice of being a part of the best friend's family so we've worked on this
01:13:17
we've got a way to do this you are going to be involved doing great bits from the show uh Bobby is going to play music
01:13:23
sign your waiver too please sign your waiver I also um want to say something that um it's very difficult for me to
01:13:31
say but I really um I really do love you
01:13:37
and um you're a real friend and um you know I you know I think about
01:13:42
like kalila you and people around me and um I'm just so blessed to have just
01:13:49
great people that love me I can feel it you know um I haven't had the best month of my life you know and it's like um
01:13:56
you guys are just really there for me and I really appreciate it man I love you so much I love you so much and you
01:14:01
know what it's so hard for me to say I know it's so hard I know you know it's like giving Hitler a high five
01:14:08
I mean you know when he's doing this and yeah yeah it's really hard but you did it
01:14:15
yeah I did it because I'm your Goebbels yeah you you know you you look at your life and you go you look at the people
01:14:21
around you and it's like oh I know I have love and support and you never think that you know about your life you
01:14:29
know um but when you do it's touching you know and and I get emotional about it well I love you and thank you and you
01:14:35
know what what thank you for being a bad friend [Music] now when you get annual leads you know
01:14:41
you would think you would want white ones white ones yeah no you'd think you'd want the ones that don't show anything no you want to see what the
01:14:48
change of the color for me I want the change like a mood ring
01:14:54
dude you should make mood beans why so that you can know how clean you
01:15:00
are that's cool that I do I understand what you're saying okay good but I think the mood bead one is better you think so well because when you
01:15:07
then you're like is everything okay all right you seem you're you're happy
01:15:13
your booty's Moody yeah oh yeah someone's feeling cheeky
01:15:20
[Music]
01:15:37
thank you
