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This podcast is powered by Hule. H U L. New customers can use code bad friends for 15% off plus a free gift. You two
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are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? A white dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. You two are something. We're bad
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friends. Boo doo doo doo doo doo doo. Bum. Where's Mone? He's not here. Where's McCone? Anyway,
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bum. Look at you. Dumbfounded. Yeah. Dumbfounded. Andrea Jyn. Andrea Jyn. And none only. Yeah. Than our lovable
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beloved Gene Hong. Gene Hong. Wow. Wow. And look at we did Korean hung book. It's called hung book. That's the clothing. And we were a hit
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at the Res Renaissance fair. You guys were a big hit. I mean there were like people would bow to us. Wow. Yeah. I
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made everyone do accents. Really? Yeah. Yeah. A boat crush and we don't know where we are. Well, what is this family story as we look at this photo? Can you describe to me the family history and the story? Well, okay. So, my daughter,
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she's blind. Oh boy. She's blind and deaf. Wow. Yeah. And she has no idea what's going on, right? The other one is You look wealthy, by the way. Yeah. We're very wealthy. Yeah. So then, um,
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Dumbfounded plays a man who has many murders. And he looks that way. He looks tired from all the murders. Yeah. He murdered so many people. Japanese, Chinese, and Koreans. Wow. But mostly
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North Koreans. Wow. And I keep going, don't go to the North. Don't go. And he will.
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And Jean is my um well Mhm. they think he's my assistant, but there's some, you know what I mean? Other privileges I get. You get to have sex with him. That's not what I said. Well, that's
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what you said. In ancient Korean tradition, we don't talk about stuff like that, but Yeah. sex. Yeah. Yeah.
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So, I got you um a new wand. Here's a new wand for Here you go, dude. It's a new Elvin wand that they have. Whoa. Oh, look. Yeah. Yeah. Look at this. It's a butt plug. Yeah. Yeah. You stick your
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butthole right in there. Yeah. Come here, Carlos. You have a standard just a wand.
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Still does magic. Yeah, but barely. Yeah. It makes dicks get hard. Oh, that's nice. Yeah. Are these handmade?
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Yes. Wow. Yeah. By an incel in the Midwest. Anyway, here you go. I get a one. You get a one this time. Yeah. Yeah. I get a one. You get a one this time. You get a Spanish one. Wow, I actually like that a lot. That one's
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very pretty. Here's a Spanish one. And then you see it. And this one will be mine. And I'm
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going to say something to you. I have a wand. And okay, so you let's play a little dark magic. I learned about dark
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magic. And today, ladies and gentlemen, when you're listening, all right, today's dark magic is about revenge. Today's dark magic is about u betrayal.
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M and we have to use our wands to destroy these evil people. Look at me right there. Now doing a seance. Does that hat fit? No.
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Is that I don't know if it's supposed to look like that. It's supposed to look like that. It is. Yeah. Yeah. And it was so uncomfortable. You have to constantly
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balance it. Can I see the girl who's seancing you? There she is. That's my aunt Barb.
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That is Barb was great. She is. I had no idea what she was talking about. It was great. Now, do they speak in tongues and
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languages and what? How do they do this? Yeah. Yeah. That Italian. It's kind of It's kind of Yeah. Yeah. So, here's the dark. So, wait. Here's the funniest thing. Yeah. Go back to that photo to
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the right. Yeah. And apologize for fans at home. I've lost my lost my voice a little bit. Go out. Go to the other
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photo to the far right. Yeah. Now, zoom in. The best part is you guys are dolled up. Yeah. Head to almost toe. And I'll
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zoom down to the feet and just sneakers. Yeah. Yeah. It's just like the outfits are amazing. And then he's wearing Hoka running shoes cuz we went I'll tell you cuz when we went to the store there were
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clogs and there's no way. You're not rocking clogs all day. Yeah. We're not going to go rock clogs. Yeah. Yeah. So
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I'm going to do my golden goose. The goose. They had golden gooses back then. Do they really? Yeah.
00:04:36
So here back to the dark magic. Okay. So, I don't know if you all know that I did a short film called Death and Ramen,
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right? No. Yay for that short film. Okay. Good. So, I'll tell you something. I'm at So, I'm at the Renaissance Fair, right? Right. Andrea Jingo's cuz she's
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dating a writer. Oo. Right. So, then, you know, he was offered something or um a production company asked him for like a production coordinator for something. He goes, "For what?" He goes, "Death and
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Robin the movie." So, I got all excited. I'm like, "Um, I called my agents and I go, "Hey,
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um, boy. Hi, Bobby. How are you?" Yeah. Yeah. Hi, uh, Jie Liberitz. Yes. Great to talk to you today. You're the best agent in the world. Number one, Jubie
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Liowitz. Yeah. Hold my call, Shireen. I'm on the phone with my number one. All right. So, I'm not Okay. So I Jubie did I get the movie? Yes. You got a movie?
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Yes. Got a movie. Death and ramen. No. Yeah. So they you got life and fetachccini. He got the life. We booked you. Life and
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fetuccini. You're going to love it. But that's not the short I did. It's not short at all. It's a seven-hour movie. Really? Yes. Oh, I heard they got Death
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and Roman got Sebastian Monoscalo, so I get the Life and Fetachccini. You got Life and Fetuccini. Yeah. All right. And
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he got He got Death and Ramen. Can we switch? Unfortunately not. Unfortunately not. He's better for Death and Ramen. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He wasn't the guy that was cast, by the way. Book of me in Life
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and Fetchy. Yeah. Yeah. So, I called my agent. He goes, "No, they recast you." No way. And I go, "Why?" And what do they say when that you don't get something?
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We went a different direction. I [ __ ] hate that. It bothers me so much. Yeah. What does that even [ __ ] mean? It
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means no. It means they hate you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wait, so who got the role? I don't know. But okay, I didn't even get
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a call. And then when we my agents called them, they said, "Yeah, we're going a different direction." Wow.
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Right. And so, you know, it ruined my Renaissance fair. Of course. Go back to the tarot reading. You can tell in that
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photo. Yeah. Yeah. In that photo. Right. Just look at that photo and tell me this isn't right after you got the phone call. Look at that face. My question to
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her was who got cast in Death. No. Did I really not get Death and Ramen? Right. And every card was a death card.
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Right. Right. And some guy being hung or slain. You know what I mean? So everybody um I normally don't do this,
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but I think it's war. I think it is. I think it is. And I would do the same for you. And I got to tell you, you do
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normally do this. What? This is part for the course. You do do this. Yeah, but not war. You You
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look, you don't you only fight when when somebody tries to fight you, right? Anyway, zoom into that photo in the
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background. Go ahead. And just in the No, no, no. The people are the people over there on the side.
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Are you making fun of my brethren and my sisterhood? Your breaths? No. Yeah, there's I gotta tell you, dude, I'm fascinated with this world. The fact that they get to escape like this. We
00:08:05
don't get to do I don't get to do that. Saturday, Lisa Gilroy went. I saw that. Yeah. Why don't you go? I'm not
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interested in being. I know, but we that we got you. I I would go with you, but I
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mean, you would laugh so hard. I would go with you, but where do you get the outfits? Do I have to buy it there? No,
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I spent a couple grand on those. Yeah, I don't want to do that. That's That's Yeah, but that's life. I'm going to use
00:08:28
it again. When what? When I develop my time machine and I actually go to, you know, I mean 16th century Korea. Where do they buy these clothes? Do they make We went to Korea Town and we went to a hungbuk place. What's hungbuk? Hungbok.
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Hungbok. It's the type of clothing. And then I rented all those. The irony is you're not all Korean. I know. We have one. Andrea is Chinese. She's Chinese. I know. And she asked, "Can I wear a
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Chinese one?" We said, "No." How dare you? Yeah. Yeah. You're with You're You're doing Korean. Damn you. Yeah, but
00:09:00
look at um dumb. He looks dumb. Yeah, he does look dumb. And also um I love dumbfounded. What a Let's talk about dumbfounded for a second if I may. Right. You guys are all wearing mics. You filmed this. Yeah. Yeah, we're
00:09:12
wearing mics. What did you shoot this for? Patreon or something. No, just for pleasure, for experiences. Love it. So,
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um Dom, we we're going through every Asian girl that's there. He had sex with. Really? Yeah. Yeah. He's so good.
00:09:27
You mean that wench over there? Yeah. Yeah. I used to [ __ ] that wench. Yeah. Yeah. See that woman uh stewing over a
00:09:33
double double toil in trouble over there? Yeah. Making a making a bubbly stew. Yeah. Pumped her. Yeah. The food's
00:09:40
not great. Really? Yeah. Zoom in in the background again. Yeah. Yeah. What are you going to say, dude? I'll say this. Yeah. We have This is proof. Yeah. This is proof that everyone is going to find
00:09:52
someone that has their weird fun interest. This is proof. Yeah. Look at all these people, by the way. That guy with the cool hat and the glasses on the
00:09:58
hat. Yeah. He's [ __ ] That's his chick, dude. That's his maiden or his whatever they call him. They all got a chick. And
00:10:04
yet I'm alone. I know. That's what's sad about this. That's what bothers me. Well, I see the hottest chicks. But you
00:10:10
should have just gone and walked around you and dumb if you wanted to get a chick cuz then you brought a lot. Look at Gene. Look at Jean's [ __ ] face.
00:10:15
Like where are we? Yeah. I want to go home. I want to write again. Yeah. Yeah. Bringing me back to my computer. That's not a happy face. He's such a computer boy. He looks like a dude. Look, that
00:10:27
face is like he caught his wife cheating again. Again. Why? Look at my face though. What am I doing? You're going, "Yeah, fucker." No. What's that face?
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Why the [ __ ] didn't they cast me in Death and Ramen? That's what it is. You're thinking that's the face, right?
00:10:44
So, what is that? Spells we can put on Death and Ramen. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We'll have to do
00:10:50
that for sure. Okay. Is it like my wicked revenge spell? It's a formidable spell. It's powerful and longlasting.
00:10:57
Well, you want to do one now? Yeah, but it's $29.95. Oh, [ __ ] I don't know. Give me a cheaper spell. Yeah. Yeah.
00:11:03
Give me a cheaper one. Yeah. Yeah. I don't want a $30 spell, right? Rival be gone. That's it. That's it. That's it.
00:11:08
Rival be gone. Please be cheaper. How much? Oh, 30. Jesus Christ. I'll give you the 30. Okay. Can we do it? Yeah,
00:11:16
I'll Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I just feel like $30. Where do they get off charging this? No, I got I got $30. Can you
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imagine if they asked for a tip? Yeah. Yeah. Give him 50. Give him 50. $30. Work on the spell. We'll talk about
00:11:28
other things, but work on the spell. But you know, we're going to need things. You didn't know his birthday. Yeah. Why did you Google my birthday? Cuz I thought it was in October, but it's in September. Wait, you seriously
00:11:39
don't know his birthday? And he knows your birthday. It's on my Google calendar.
00:11:45
It's so I don't ever forget. We're putting a spell on you. Yeah. Yeah. No, you're getting spellbound. No, you're going to get spell bound. I need to
00:11:51
look. Let me see. What spell could we cast on him? Um, who who we doing? Carlos. No, no. Spell would be negative. But like everything I think of, I'm like, I'll do one. Dimmitri Martin.
00:12:04
Oh, yeah. Sick him on him. Whoa. Whoa. I can feel Dimmitri in me. Yeah. Yeah. How
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about this? Yeah. Ooh. That's not one. Oo is not one. Hold on. I'm conjuring. There's a word. Dude, Carlos. No, that's not a word. That's not it. That's You ever seen Harry Potter? Carlos Oventus
00:12:24
magico or whatever. You got to do something like that. Yes. That's it. That's it.
00:12:33
You will forever be bound. Yeah. And studio apartment and never get laid. Never get laid again. Your dog's gonna
00:12:40
get sick eventually. Dog AIDS. Dog AIDS eventually. Dude, I feel [ __ ] up. Don't do this anymore. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, your hair's gone. I did that. Wa. That's a part of my [ __ ] cat.
00:12:52
Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Why'd you lose your voice? I was singing last night. Oh, when you sing, you get this way. When I was singing and yelling, I do lose my voice. It was such a loud night. It was such a loud Who did you sing with?
00:13:05
Michael Pena. Pena was there. Yeah. You went karaoke with Pena? Yeah. Wow. And we sung a song
00:13:11
that I absolutely hate and we knew there I am. There's There's my boy. Who's that? Travis Kelce.
00:13:18
Never heard of him. Yeah. Um I sang with Pena and Pena was like, "What do we want
00:13:25
to sing?" I said, "It's got to be something that everyone knows that people like." Oh. And so then we're sifting through cool songs. At first we
00:13:31
get we're pitching around songs. I bet you he knows La Bomba. That's what we sung. Yeah, exactly. Cuz
00:13:38
when he goes la Yeah. Yeah. By the way, la No, shut up. Who cares? Um, we sung Lakaracha.
00:13:52
Laorar. Is that what it is? Oh, how do you You're doing the same tune. Oh, yeah.
00:14:01
Shut up. We do it. We do it the right way. Yeah. They're all the same song. My favorite Richard Valent is Donna.
00:14:13
We're all the same. [Music] Yeah. Then he died. He did. Yeah. On that plane, we sung uh we sung that song.
00:14:27
Uh pour me up another double shot of whiskey. Everybody at the bargain. And it was a hit. People Bronco. People liked it. No. No. There's no Bronco. Let me try to finish. Start one of those
00:14:40
songs. Let me try to finish it here. Um uh uh me and Jack Daniel history books. Pretty good.
00:14:51
Give me another shot. That was that was smooth. I had to read. Make some make up one. Oh, another song. Yeah. Yeah.
00:14:58
Hanging around by myself Easter Island with the statues and the gifts are with my mind. Wow. That's actually better than the
00:15:09
original. Pretty good. Can you name the song I sung? Yeah. Hanging around. Downtown by myself. What's the song
00:15:15
called? That's not what it's called. Do you not know what it is? You know. Sex and yes playground. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:15:21
One of my favorites. Oh, let me sing a song. [Music] Um, I don't know any lyrics. That's the
00:15:27
only problem. Uh, do I know any lyrics here? Um, hey Jude, don't be afraid. Jeffrey Epstein didn't kill
00:15:45
himself. It was Clinton. The Clinton, they are at fault. They did it all. Of the children.
00:15:58
Thank you. Yeah, that's pretty good. Oh, yeah. Yeah. All right. I put the order in. We got the confirmation. Rival be gone spell. By the way, I love that you
00:16:05
put out a spell. It cost $30 and you get an order number. What the [ __ ] does that Why do we get it now? We're waiting on a
00:16:12
rush delivery email confirming that um Andria casted the spell. The guy who runs this is just wiping off the pizza from his finger. He's like, "Oh, we got one." Wait, wait. So, hold on one
00:16:24
second. Oh my god. We got one. I know. That's what it is. Yeah. Idiot. Just some guy in a garage. Dude, you were right. $30. We were gonna charge 10. You're right, man. Idiots will do
00:16:37
it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. So, the So, we put in his birth date. We put in the other person's name, Death and Ramen.
00:16:43
And the name is the cast speller is Andria. Yeah. Andria. We're cursing the show, the movie, by the way. By the way,
00:16:50
you know what? I feel bad. I feel bad though. Nah, you're giving them a lot of publicity. A lot of press. All right.
00:16:56
All right. Should Andria cast her spell twice in your behalf to increase the chances of success? Yes.
00:17:01
No, I I pressed once. Oh, you had to pay twice. Yeah. Yeah. It would have been like Andria. Yeah. $7 or something. You
00:17:08
drive a hard bargain. Andria, I would love to know who this person is and what they look like. Oh, hi Carlos. Thank you
00:17:14
for your order from Andrika, one of the founding members of the California Astrology Association, CIA. I was with that agency for a
00:17:20
while. We are writing to let you know what you can expect next. Your order will be processed shortly. Rush quote
00:17:25
unquote orders are processed within one business day. All other orders within a few days. Please allow extra time for order processing over holidays and
00:17:31
weekends. Dude, they're acting like this [ __ ] spell has to go through a corporate system. Yeah. Yeah. But but
00:17:37
this is how you know it's real. Yes. Yeah, it's true. Because imagine without it. I know. Like thanks, dude. 25%
00:17:44
discount. Did we not get the [ __ ] discount? We're first time user. But we got a gu No. Andria seems to have split
00:17:50
off from CIA and is doing her own thing. But yeah, Andria provides the same 365day guarantee. Oh, sick. It's kind of like Celino and Barnes. Oh, let's do do that. Do that one, too. No, we already
00:18:02
we already did hers. Yeah. Oh, I did hers. By the way, guys, if you're looking to cast a spell on a friend, hit
00:18:07
up Andria and uh use promo code bad friends for 15% off a spellcast by a psychic consultant spirit
00:18:14
channeler. Yeah. Wow. You know, honestly, this is real. You know what's so [ __ ] Don't you feel it's real? I
00:18:20
know it's real. Yeah. I I in my heart, I know it's real. It's like a weird thing. It is. It's like finding Gizmo in that
00:18:26
china shop. It's real. It's real. It's very real. You don't think it is, of course. But it is. Well, you're going to go down. I'm going to get like a a lamp,
00:18:33
right? Or I'm going to get like an antique. You know what I mean? Jewelry jewelry box, right? But then there's a
00:18:39
little Mwai there. Mhm. And all those. Yeah. And those little rules. Little tiny. Yeah. I don't know what to
00:18:45
remember as like don't what is it? Well, water. Don't jerk it off. No, no, no. That was What was it? I thought that was one of the rules. Don't feed him after Don't feed him after. Oh, yeah.
00:18:56
that. Oh, those are my rules. Yeah. When you find me, don't jerk it off. Don't jerk it off. Yeah. Wait. Go up.
00:19:03
Three rules caring for a Muay uh in the movie are don't expose them to bright lights, never get them wet, and never
00:19:08
feed them after midnight. I remember the water one. I remember that you can't get them wet. Yeah. Never get them wet. They
00:19:13
don't need They're self-cleaning. They multiply. They multiply when you Yeah. But isn't like their own saliva wet?
00:19:19
Something that's How do they clean themselves? They have to be like cats. Like, you know what I mean? No. No. No.
00:19:25
No, no, no, no, no, no. They don't ever wash. They they sell their So they just smell. No, their skin Their skin continues to shed. They shed. Okay. I
00:19:32
don't know an animal like that. But what do you mean with fur? Bears? Yeah, but but they scratch their
00:19:39
backs against a [ __ ] tree. Mwise might scratch. Okay. Muay gremlins do not clean themselves. They're creatures
00:19:44
of specific rules and weaknesses, and their cleanliness is not a factor. The core rule is to avoid getting them wet. So maybe they smell like [ __ ] That's
00:19:50
what I think. [ __ ] You see a maga, you're like, "Oh my god." Oh my god. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like so
00:19:56
cute. And by the way, kind of looks like a stinky stinky little [ __ ] Also, grandmas look better to me. Yeah. Yeah.
00:20:03
They can they get [ __ ] done. Yeah, they do. Well, look. I mean, look at the difference. Like, hey, steal those
00:20:08
speakers from that car, right? And they they go to it, right? A guy would be like, "What? Grab that guy's phone. Grab his phone." Yeah. Yeah. You know it. Yeah. Up the
00:20:22
tariffs. Up the tariffs. Gremlins would do. The Gremlins would up the ter 185 and the Mu 45 185. Mogwise wouldn't because they're Look, look. They're so scared. They're made in China. Yeah,
00:20:38
that's right. We're trying to stop the Maui. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. So then feed them at the midnight. Oh, they must
00:20:43
get like hunger pans at night. It must be tough. Well, there they There's the Gremlins eating popcorn watching 3D.
00:20:48
God, they're so much cooler. They are more rad, dude. They have more style. Their fashion's better, dude. Would you
00:20:54
rather have a Muawi or a Gremlin in a mosh pit? Come on. It's not even a question. Gremlin all [ __ ] dead. Yeah, I think I saw that guy on the lift at at uh at Metallica. Seriously? Yeah.
00:21:06
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00:23:37
you're addicted to the Renaissance Fair. Now you're going to go every weekend. I really like it because I I think that it
00:23:43
um it just makes me feel at home in a weird way. You you look so proper, dude. It's unbelievable. No, we were getting so many compliments because no one dresses like that. What do you mean every photo people dress up? You mean in
00:23:56
this traditional this traditional As Korean garb, right? We probably could be the first. I think Andrea is crossing a
00:24:04
line here by being a Chinese woman in Korean garb though. Yeah. Yeah. You have to. Why don't you get a get a Korean girl? Oh, so Morpheus glasses. I know.
00:24:11
What do you think? Yeah. You don't put Morpheus glasses in there. Although Although you know who should wear glasses and cover up his eyes is Jean. I
00:24:17
mean, look at those things. Good god. I I know. Put some put something on those. But she also acts like she's a star
00:24:23
already. Do you see? Yeah. Yeah. She's got that vibe. Like those glasses like I open for Bill Burr now. Right.
00:24:31
Ronnie Chang. Look at that. Ronnie does. She's killing it. O Yang. Yeah, she's killing it. Yeah, but she's very funny.
00:24:38
Look at that nose, though. Oh my god. Well, because Eric Griffin's nose. I got to be honest with you. Your nose doesn't
00:24:45
look small in that photo either, but you both got Asian sn. You know, you can now tell how old I am. Just now? Yeah. In
00:24:53
this photo? Yeah, I think so. You look younger in real life than you do in this. This photo is a weird photo. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I look tired. A guy told me
00:25:00
when he ran into me, a fan, he goes, "Oh, you're better looking than I thought you were going to be." I was like, "That [ __ ] hurt my feelings." Yeah. You thought I was ugly because you
00:25:06
see me on the internet? People go, "You're taller than I imagined." Yeah. What? You think I was a dwarf? Like,
00:25:12
what's going on here? Did you think I was Brad Williams? Yeah. Hey. Wow. Hey. Hey. Yeah. Let's go back to the Gremlins. Wow. What a great 80s movie. So many good movies in the 80s. By the
00:25:24
way, I rewatched uh in uh in bed the other night at the hotel. Lethal Weapon. So good. So good. What? What is that? What's that face you're making? That's the movie that I have for you guys. What
00:25:37
do you mean that's the movie you have for us? I'm too old for this [ __ ] Is that what he's saying? Yeah. I'm too old for this [ __ ] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Danny
00:25:43
Glover is a man. So I'm Danny Glover and he's Mel Gibson. Yes. I mean, it's got to be. No, I got
00:25:49
to be Danny Glover. You can't be. Yes, I can. You don't have that kind of style.
00:25:55
You really want to make me angry right now, dude. Okay, let's go through the history of the actors that played them. Okay. Right. Yeah. So, these two. Yeah.
00:26:02
Just the the idea that he's You know what I mean? A different color should be a sign, but you got to flip it on its
00:26:09
head otherwise it's too on the nose. That's the whole point. Oh, like look when they did the remake with
00:26:15
Pesh was so good in that movie. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Because at the Renaissance fair, we ran into a girl
00:26:21
that has a kid and I'm friends with her. And I bought the kid a wand, but it's like looks like a lightsaber. So the kid
00:26:28
would go like that. He was loving it. And he hit me in the leg and I went ow ow and I
00:26:33
fell to the ground. He laughed. So he did it for 4 hours straight and then I had to constantly go ow ow ow. You know what I mean? I want to disappoint the kid. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:26:44
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But it was crazy. So what this new new love on? No, no, no, no. It's no love. It's just a friend.
00:26:50
But another thing is is that you see the stress of it of having a kid. Yeah. Come
00:26:57
here, come here. You know what I mean? It's a lot of that. Yeah. Where you going? Where you going? Where you going? You know, but see, our parents never did that. They just let us disappear. Yeah.
00:27:04
And figure out. I was kidnapped three times. Yeah. They didn't care. Molested all three times. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:27:09
By Downs Patrol. [Laughter] You're on fire today, dude. Yeah, keep that in. [Music]
00:27:27
All right, that one's going to pretty. Yeah. Yeah, you got to keep that in. That's so funny. But um yeah, it's a big
00:27:33
responsibility. But I said in the car I go if there cuz you know there's a lot of predictions that AI is moving so fast that in the next three or four years
00:27:45
there might be like nuclear you know weapons being released you know what I mean hurry up speed it up the [ __ ] over.
00:27:51
So, I was saying is that having a child would be great because if a nuclear bomb
00:27:57
you knew was going to hit and you had your kid, you want to be strong for him and hold him and go, I got you, buddy.
00:28:04
Right. But if I didn't have a kid, I'd be like, "What the [ __ ] What the [ __ ] is going I would freak the [ __ ] out."
00:28:11
The real you comes out like the [ __ ] No, I'm both. You are. Oh, so if a nuclear bomb was coming and you were
00:28:17
alone sipping coffee. Yeah. You're going to be cool. stoked. If I if it's like map, national alert, a nuclear war has started. Just sipping my coffee and my
00:28:33
little breakfast nook going good. You're not going to call anybody? Who? Your parents. I just talked to him an hour
00:28:40
ago. Yeah. Love you and what? You know, there's steps for this. Huh? There's steps for this when a nuclear seek
00:28:46
immediate shelter. I'm already inside. Go underground. Can't. No basement. Stay low. My chairs are low. I have a I have
00:28:52
one of these like little lounge chairs. Cover your mouth and nose. Yeah. What is this? Co [ __ ] that, dude. Ventilation
00:28:57
needs to go off. Shut off the ventilation. I want to keep it cool inside. Okay. Well, let me ask you this. It's just This is You're dead. You know
00:29:03
what's going to happen? You're going to [ __ ] die eventually, too. I'd rather die now than later. Slow death sucks.
00:29:10
You know what I mean? You're just walking on straight plop. Your arm's gone. You're like, "What the [ __ ] happened? What happened?" You know?
00:29:16
Like, imagine, though. Yeah. Body parts just start falling off because of radiation. I'm like, "Fuck that. Just kill me now." The big blast just shocked
00:29:22
me. Now, would you get nuclear radiation for country? Meaning this. I have no [ __ ] idea what you're talking about. Yeah, you will. Yeah.
00:29:34
Yeah. So, it's one of my shows I always go to just to watch over and over again when I have nothing to do. What show is Chernobyl on on Max. Very good. Right.
00:29:44
And so, you know, they would go, "We" because there was one scene where they had to get these water valves released
00:29:51
and they could only send three men down there, but the men were going to die. They knew they were going to die. Yeah. They knew they're going to die. You'll
00:29:58
When you go down there, you'll be dead in a week. And three guys volunteered. I'll do it for country. Would you? For
00:30:05
country? Yeah. [ __ ] no. Because if you and I were sitting there, right, and if I stood up, you're saying if I go
00:30:12
down, if we you and I go down that, if they go, Bobby Lee, Andrew Santino, you must do this for country. And it would save the country. Yes.
00:30:19
No, you wouldn't. You already showed your cards, dude. Well, this is what would happen. I'd stand up, right? He
00:30:24
wouldn't stand up. I'd sit back down, right? I'd be like that fast. And they go, "Mr. Lee, did you?" And you're like, "No, no, I just my back." Yeah. So there was a lot of
00:30:36
those kind of scenes. No, I wouldn't do it for country. That's crazy because because cuz it's guaranteed that I'll
00:30:42
die, right? But it's not guaranteed it'll save the country. It is. It's a literal guarantee. stamp it will it does
00:30:48
because in that particular scenario right if the molten lava seeped into water tanks it would cause an explosion right that was going to make Ukraine I
00:31:01
think half of Poland and and some other country completely inhabitable for a hundred years we wouldn't having these problems now
00:31:12
what do you mean by that [ __ ] would reach Spain before us [ __ ] You would have died a long time
00:31:18
ago. You could definitely reach us first. Yeah, we're much closer to that than Spain. Oh, really? You vary.
00:31:24
I don't know. Moscow. No, it wasn't Moscow. It I think Chernobyl is more close to Ukraine. Mhm. Oh. Than than Spain, for sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:31:35
So, what I'm saying to you is is that it's going to make 80 million people die immediately. Wow. So, would you make
00:31:42
that sacrifice for 80 million people? Well, there's 360 million people in America.
00:31:49
Do we have to make the decision now? The commander standing there. Okay. Commander, can I ask you a few questions, sir? Yeah, sir. Commander,
00:31:55
sir. Yes, you may. You may. Okay. So, listen. Hold on. I talk I talk slow. You You Where are you from, Commander? Moscow. Oh, my name is Vladimir. Great.
00:32:10
Go. Vlad the Impaler. Yes. I love your work. Wait. [Laughter] You may continue my fellow townsmen.
00:32:24
Downsmen. Doy toy. Doy doy. So listen. Yes. Just because I do this. Yes. What if in a few days something else happens and then then it's then we will send three more
00:32:39
compat. No. That's why I'm not doing it. But your our offer is this. We will give your family 40 rubles.
00:32:48
40 50 50 100 rubles. 100 rubles. Yes. Sounds like every time I repeat what you say, you go up. Did I say a thousand? A thousand rubles. Yes. All the rubles that your
00:33:04
family can eat. That we can eat. Yes. You must eat them because you're going to have cancer.
00:33:09
Okay. Yeah. How do we survive? Eat the money. So, you wouldn't do it. No way. Yeah. By
00:33:15
the way, you just reminded me of that old Richard K told me this, an old Jewish joke. He said, uh, a Jewish kid
00:33:22
asked his Jewish father for $100. And the dad says, $60. What do you need $20 for?
00:33:36
That's a great job. That's a good job. I would never do it for country. You're not doing it for country either. And you know that. But but so some of these men
00:33:43
had wives and children. These are stronger men than we. No. And I'll admit that. If you had people go to the
00:33:50
military, your wife and your child. We don't have any [ __ ] kids. No, but in this scenario. Okay. But I don't Okay.
00:33:56
Okay. Okay. My [ __ ] How many kids? And what do I have weigh-ins kids? I got 10. No. You have more raw kids. You have
00:34:02
six. Seven. What? What? I wouldn't do it. So your children will die. I don't give a [ __ ] I'll be dead, too. We'll all be dead in heaven together. But if you go in, they will not die.
00:34:15
Yeah, but then they I won't be with them. I'll be with them in the afterlife. Ah, thank you. Would you like
00:34:21
their position in the government? Oh, I like your thinking. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, cool. How
00:34:28
many rubles is that? 20,000 rubles. 20,000 rubles. That's right. I don't know where that I don't know where that went. What's that old Russian saying? If you
00:34:41
hit In Russia, if you hit me with a feather, I'll hit you back with a tank. Is that right? Yes. Jesus Christ. That's [ __ ] brutal. It's I was just playing with my chicken. I'm sorry.
00:34:54
Live a century, learn a century. Oh, these are right. Without effort, you can't even pull Do it in a Russian
00:34:59
accent, though. Without effort, you can't even pull a fish out of the pond. What? Don't have 100 rubles, but have
00:35:06
100 friends. By the way, that's government [ __ ] propaganda. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:35:12
Look. So, you are poor. You eat your toenails for breakfast. Big [ __ ] deal. You're friends. Yeah. Yeah. Look
00:35:19
at It's all about friends. Measure. Measure seven times. Cut once. What does that mean? It's saying if you're making something like if it's diligent. That's like That's Japanese [ __ ] too. Yeah.
00:35:30
Yeah. Wow. The eyes are afraid, the hands do. Yeah. I like I like wolf analogies here. Give me the wolf one. Work is not a wolf. It won't run away
00:35:41
into the forest. No [ __ ] brother. I wish my I wish my waiting job ran into the forest. This is all government propaganda. Yeah, that's crazy. That you know, Yakov
00:35:53
Smeirnoff was telling me about that. That how accustomed you get to hearing when he was a kid. Yeah. on the speaker
00:35:59
systems. Wow. Just constant propaganda. Yeah. And I said, "What was like the main theme of the Soviet Union like as a
00:36:07
kid? Like what were they trying to do to say to kids versus adults?" Yeah. And he was like, "They constantly put it in
00:36:14
children's heads that Americans specifically Yeah. were the worst version of humanity alive. Wow. Awful
00:36:21
people. Yeah. Bad. Bad. Evil people. Yeah. and they paint this picture over and over and over and you inherently
00:36:27
will you just 100% believe it. Yeah. And I was like, how did you have the wherewithal to not in that he's like it
00:36:34
just I guess something just didn't make sense about it. Wow. But I was like that's how is that how do you have that?
00:36:39
Yeah. You know what's also funny about him is that when I saw him at the comedy store I [ __ ] love Yakov by the way.
00:36:45
Yeah. The only thing that I remember from his act from years ago was what a country. Right. What a country. So I rewatched his Rodney Dangerfield. Oh
00:36:52
yeah. He's got great jokes. He still does. Yeah, he still does. He's a good joke writer, dude. He's a great joke writer. Yeah. Yeah. By the way, when I got off my my plane today, Yeah. The
00:37:05
pilot, you know, I'm You know, the pilots are saying goodbye. Yeah. What do you say? The pilot goes one kakatai. I'm
00:37:12
not kidding. What does that even mean? I was something I said on this show years ago. Bad friends. Yeah. You said
00:37:18
something about cactus. You were like, you like it was only one cacti. And I was like, "One cakatai."
00:37:25
Really? Of all the Bobby moms that I get. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That one I was I literally go, "Yes, dude." Yeah. One
00:37:31
cacti. One kakatai. You know what, dude? One kakatai. Don't do that. Don't. One kakatai. But the pilot goes, "One
00:37:43
kakatai." By the way, this is going to haunt me. Did you laugh? I crack. I thought I go right on, dude. One kakati.
00:37:50
Yeah, that one's make cuz the Bobby mom doesn't get me anymore. Yeah. You know, I'm so glad you got sick on that plane.
00:37:55
I didn't get sick. I lost my voice last night. No, no, no. When you passed out with um Oh, Machine Gun Kelly. Yeah,
00:38:02
because I saw Machine Gun Friday. Did you go to his house? No, I went to his He just showed up at the store. He
00:38:07
invited us to a party. He did? Yeah. And he hugged me as if we were like Vietnam
00:38:13
vets. He's the [ __ ] best. One of the nice In my mind, I'm so glad Andrew almost died. just for that relationship
00:38:21
to, you know, I mean, flourish. Thank you. It was incredible. No, it was. Yeah. Yeah. Of all the Bobby Moms I get,
00:38:27
I got them. I was in Vegas this weekend. It's a million Bobby moms everywhere. Wow. The dealer. Yeah. The dealer said
00:38:33
Bobby Mom. Goes, "Hey, Bobby Mom." They call me Bobby Mom. Yeah. Yeah. They don't [ __ ] I don't I think some of them don't know my Some guy said Anthony Santini. And I was like, "Yeah, yeah, just call me Bobby Mom." Oh, Yakov
00:38:44
called you Santana. Santana. Yeah. Santana. He didn't say your first name. He goes, "Well, Santana told me." You
00:38:50
know what I mean? And I'm like, "That's not as I am good at guitar." Okay. As So, people are saying that Vegas is kind
00:38:57
of dead. Is it true or no? You know, it's interesting. I talked to this as we were going to the airport in
00:39:04
the Uber. I was asking the guy like, "How long have you live?" I I I'm always curious about the Uber drivers in Vegas. I'm like, "How long have you lived here?
00:39:09
Where you from?" Because they're most of them are foreign. Some This guy lived there for like 30 years. And I said,
00:39:15
"All how much of the strip is like cuz I don't remember it really. Like I just go to my [ __ ] hotel, do my show or gig
00:39:20
and then go home. And he was they're knocking down the Mirage. They're putting up the Hard Rock. They're
00:39:25
putting a big guitar up there. Wow. I read this thing the other day, literally the other day that Excalibur and those
00:39:31
other ones are not no more valet. No more like room service and [ __ ] Yeah. So like the ones that are thriving are thriving, but the ones that are diving are diving bad. Like it's it's the
00:39:42
dispersion is insane. Tourism. Some of them are so old, too. Well, they're Yeah. Right. Excal like like we said, Excalibur. There's ones to the south
00:39:48
strip are sold and they're dilapidated. Yeah. You know, talk about dilap. Talk about speaking of dilapidated. He hits the mic right there. Yeah.
00:39:59
Hello. What's up, buddy? Kichua. Uh, go for sending me to Japan. Hey, go. Ladies and gentlemen,
00:40:15
Dax Flame is back. Back from Japan. Dak, do you need headphones or you don't use them? He
00:40:22
never likes them. Yeah, I don't like to use. Okay. Okay. How was our little Let's Yeah, take your clothes off. Yeah, take your clothes loose, dude. So, um,
00:40:30
by the way, I've never not seen you with four layers on. Doesn't matter what temperature it is outside. Guy wears two
00:40:36
undershirts. Yeah. A pullover, a quarter zip, a jacket. How is the flight going there?
00:40:42
Good. Yeah. What do you mean? What does that mean? What do you mean? It was nice and easy. Yeah. Uh yeah. Yeah. Tokyo to
00:40:49
LAX. Yeah. The LAX to Tokyo one. I watched uh two Lord of the Rings movies. I never seen any of those. Well, how we
00:40:56
cuz I've seen a bunch of times. What did you think of them? They were awesome. Yeah. Yeah. And then I watched You You didn't see Return of the King on the way
00:41:03
back. I watched Oh, you did? And I had actually seen that one when I was a kid, but um Yeah. Out of order, so I don't
00:41:08
think I didn't remember it at all. Yeah. Yeah. How'd you see an out of order? You mean on TV? Uh, I just my uncle invited
00:41:15
me to go see it and I'd not seen the first two and I just watched that when I whenever it came out so I would have
00:41:20
been like 12 or something or Did something happen with your uncle? Yeah. No. No. Anything? No. Uh, no. Did he go
00:41:28
like let's go swimming? Uh, I don't I don't Did your uncle take you on vacations? No. Yeah. Yeah. I I didn't
00:41:35
spend much time with him. He uh I don't remember him ever swimming at a sporting event. Factor meals. Make this your best season yet
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factormeals.com/badfriends.50 off for 50% off plus free shipping. Well, that's I'm I'm an investigative journalist. So,
00:42:50
did you sleep on the flight? I don't think or actually I think I just slept like an hour or two. Yeah. Well,
00:42:57
I'm so happy that we got you to Japan and you shared a video and thank you. Is there any way it's 11 hours a long
00:43:02
flight? Is there any way we can continue to do this as the year goes on? Just start sending you more places? Yeah,
00:43:08
I'll I'll do it anytime you all want. Really? You had fun then? Yeah. Yeah. Where would you like to go next?
00:43:14
Uh we think Africa. Yeah. Can we send you to Yemen? Libya. Do you want to go to Libya? Yeah. What is it like? Oh, it's beautiful. It's northern Africa. What's that country? Wait, hold on.
00:43:27
What's that one? You want to go there? What is that, Dax? Um, that that's a country in Africa. Um, what is it
00:43:34
called? I don't know how to pronounce it. I don't know how to pronounce it, actually. Give it a word. Try. Yeah, try.
00:43:40
Uh, uh, spell it out. N I G E R. Whoa. Whoa. That's the name of the country. It's almost It's almost sounds worse when you spell it. I know. He might have just said it. Yeah. Yeah. What about um would
00:43:54
you go to Chad? That sounds like a white guy play. It's like what's Yeah. What's up, dude? I'm in [ __ ] Africa, dude. Next time go to Steve, too.
00:44:03
Mark is just north of us, dude. Yeah. Yeah. How about Bkina Faso? That's Look at Oh my Look at that. Have you been to
00:44:10
Africa? No. Yeah. Would you go there? Like to that specific spot? Yes. With those ladies? Yeah. Those are my
00:44:16
cousins. Um how about this? What about that? I I have it. I know where I want him to go. Yeah, I'm so excited because
00:44:22
I've been watching a lot of videos about this on the internet. Tell me. Tell me. India. Oh, India. I've actually been
00:44:28
there. [ __ ] Okay. Pakistan. Uh I've never been there. Yeah. Yeah. You know, he would have fun in is um
00:44:36
uh I thought about having fun. Okay. No. Where? I'm kidding. Like a goolog or something. Yeah. Al Salvador. No, El
00:44:43
Salvador is awesome. No, but the goolog that they're they're sending. Yeah. Yeah. What's a goolog? Oh, you don't
00:44:49
know what a You don't play war zone? No. Okay. I've heard the word. It's a harsh prison. Okay. Okay. So, here's what we
00:44:56
need. Carlos, give me put up a picture of the United I'm sorry, of the of the world, okay, of the flat earth that we live on. And I'm going to just throw I'm going to throw
00:45:06
something at the TV. And wherever it hits, I'm going to close my eyes. But even even if you hit the
00:45:14
middle of the Pacific Ocean, we're dropping them off there. Yeah, we have to. Yeah. Yeah. Give me something like that. Do you swing swim, Dax? Yes. Okay.
00:45:21
His uncle cannot is what something we learned. Yeah. Yeah. Give me something light that's not going to hurt the TV.
00:45:28
You look good, bud. Thank you. Thanks. Hold on. An Uncle Paul's Oh, yeah. All right. Here we go. I toss it sideways. All right. Ready? Yeah.
00:45:42
Zoom into that. Zoom in. Bottom right corner. No, I got it. Bottom right corner. Up. Up. I know exactly where I
00:45:48
hit. Up. Up on the map. Up more. Right there. What is that? What's that town with that little outlet that kicks out
00:45:54
there? That right there. What is that? Is that Zoom in? Zoom in. What's that called? Jesus Maria. Jesus Maria. Jesus Maria. That's where you're going. You're going to Jesus Maria. I'd
00:46:05
go there. Let's bring up a picture. Just click on one of those little icons and you'll see what the street view is.
00:46:10
Yeah, there. Check it out. Wow. That's Jesus Maria. That's it. That actually looks awesome.
00:46:17
Isn't that That's the best pizza. But here's the deal. You have to go to that pizzeria crepery. You have to go to this
00:46:23
creperia pizzeria. Yeah. Yeah. Wa. That'll be you eating hamburger. Looks so good. It does. That looks so good. It's like a cheese wrapped burger. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Spain. Yeah. Huh? It is
00:46:34
Spain. I know it's in Spain, [ __ ] Do you think Jesus Maria is anywhere other than Spain? All right, you're going here. You're going there. When can we send you to Spain?
00:46:47
Um, May. May. Yeah. Let's talk about Japan. Okay. So, um, what' you do the first day there? Um, I think just walked around. Um, yeah, just walked around.
00:46:59
And do you have pictures in your phone you can share with Carlos and he can you can text him? You can bring them up on
00:47:04
the screen there. Now, let me ask you some personal questions. Were there women looking at you there? Did you get
00:47:10
any vibes from people? Text frame. Piece of piece of the text frame. Yeah. Yeah. I I don't think like
00:47:19
I noticed that. Um Okay. Um you weren't looking for it. No. Are you ever looking
00:47:25
for love, Dax? Yeah. Uh are you in love right now? No. Can I ask you a personal question? We can cut it. Yeah. That girl you do videos with, that cute young lady. Is she your girlfriend? No, she's
00:47:37
my friend's girlfriend. Oh. Oh, that's weird. That's weird. Yeah. But do you masturbate to her? Oh, boy. No. No. Why
00:47:44
can I ask that? Well, cuz Dax is our buddy. You don't think I've masturbated to his wife? Come on. He has. I watch
00:47:50
him. It's in my house. Very strange. All right, Dex, send Carlos some photos that
00:47:55
are in your phone. Just everything. Just dump everything. Even a couple of nudes that you have in there or whatever. Yeah. But here's the deal. as you search
00:48:02
for those. We are going to continue to send Dax on a world tour. We would love to. But here's what I actually want to
00:48:08
enact in Spain in Jesus Maria. Yeah. Or should it be to a closer bigger city? I want him. You got to do a meetup. Zack.
00:48:15
Dax. Zack. What's your [ __ ] name? Uh Dax. Is it? Uh. Oh, my real first name. Yeah. No, that's not your real name. No. Uh Theodore. Theodore. Yeah. Teddy. Teddy. Teddy. My favorite president.
00:48:28
Yeah. We got I want to do a fan meetup. Can we do that? Um, yeah. That would be that'd be [ __ ] rad. That'd be cool.
00:48:34
International. Do we have fans there? Huh? In Spain? He does. He's way more. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Do you have a lot
00:48:40
of fans in Spain? I don't know. Uhhuh. I would assume you have fans all over the world. Um, maybe. So, I don't think any
00:48:48
Japanese people knew who I was really, but um but a couple tourists said hi to me. Oh, that's cool. Is it now? Who says
00:48:55
hi to you? Is it mostly men or women? Um, I feel like women recognize you more. I think more guys know me, but I
00:49:03
both actually. Yeah. Yeah. Because you know on the internet you're kind of a heartthrob. Do you know this? Um no. I
00:49:09
know some girl that really love you. There's women that comment all the time that he's a heartthrob. Yeah. I think you don't have I I don't know if you
00:49:14
know this or you just playing koi. But you are I've had many many women come across my way that say I think he's so
00:49:21
sexy. Um okay. That's what would you like to say to those women that say that? Thank you.
00:49:28
Um and uh please give Andrew your number and no to give to me. Yes. Me? And give
00:49:37
it to Why him? Or give Well, cuz they Why? Why him, not me? Cuz they came up to Andrew and said it to him. Oh, okay. That's right. His logic is good. Yeah, it is very good logic. Very smart. Um I
00:49:49
I also sent Carlos a video. Um y'all saw Did y'all see that video? We did. Cool.
00:49:55
Okay, cool. loved it. So, tell me, day one in Japan. Um, take me through the day. Let's see. Day one, I got my flight
00:50:02
got there in the daytime. So, then I would have walked to my Airbnb and then just walked around. Describe your
00:50:08
Airbnb. Uh, like a room uh with a kitchen um and um a little hallway and a bathroom. Small though. Uh yeah, pretty small. But in a
00:50:20
in Shinjuku. Oh, Shinjuku. Oh, let's go. Let's go with these pictures. Let's go to the first picture. That one was just
00:50:25
like I took a picture cuz it was kind of funny. Well, not I guess. Well, actually, maybe that's rude, but it was like horse sushi. So, I just um thought
00:50:33
that was unusual. Wait, there Andrew, there's horse sushi there. We got to go to Japan. I know. We can't get that here. It's a delicacy. Yeah. By the way, you do you take
00:50:44
pictures like my dad? Yeah. Like, this is sideways. And did you try horse sushi? No. No. Okay. Are you interested
00:50:50
in other meats? Um, outside of what? Outside of pork and chicken. Pork and chicken and beef. The kind of the standard run. The trifecta. I've tried guinea pig, I think. And wait, stop.
00:51:03
What? What? Cuz I was Well, I was in uh Peru where they eat it. They eat guinea pig in Peru. Let me ask you something. Were there other options? Yeah. What were the other options? I don't remember
00:51:15
a lot of a lot of stuff. But I would Oh my god, look at what a guinea pig looks like in there at lunch in Peru. But it
00:51:22
wasn't It didn't look like a guinea pig. Would it look like a cat? No, just like like chicken, I guess. Oh, I see. Now
00:51:29
that's Now that's strange. Would you eat? Honestly, be be real, dude. Would you eat that, Andrew? Would I what? Eat
00:51:36
that. That woman? No. The pineapple that's on the I would eat I would eat the the old pineapple and and olives. Are those olives or beans? I don't know what they are, but I would
00:51:46
eat everything around. Dude, why don't fry a [ __ ] one of those when they're smiling. Guinea pig when it's laughing.
00:51:53
Dude, he's literally laughing. You told it a joke and then put it in the fryer. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So, yeah, you didn't
00:52:00
eat a horse. You pussed out there. Yeah. And then you went to bed. You went to bed. Yes. And then the next day, I think
00:52:06
I just walked around a ton. And Quick question. I'm so sorry. Sometimes when you're in LA, there's a certain sound that wakes you up. Are there any unusual things that happen?
00:52:18
Like like a like some sort of like a bong or Yeah. I mean, yeah. Do they wake everybody up at the same time? Yeah. Like bong, you know what I mean? No. Uh I didn't hear anything like that, but
00:52:29
I'm trying to think if there's any sound specific to like you wake up, right? You're Yeah, something like that. Time
00:52:35
to wake up. Time to wake up. Okay. Nothing. the guy being stabbed by a sword like Okay. Uh I didn't hear anything like
00:52:48
that. Good. That's good. I'm glad they got rid of that cuz they used to do that a lot. All the time. Yeah. Yeah. Uh the
00:52:53
Yeah. Yeah. And this is a forest. That was like just in a a park there. Oh, it's one of those
00:53:00
suicide forests I hear so much about. Was Jake Paul there? Uh that was Logan Paul who did that. Oh, sorry. Wrong
00:53:07
Paul. Yeah. Retake the joke. Was Logan Paul there? I Does is he banned from there or We don't know the politics of it. He's b
00:53:18
he's banned from all forests. Yeah, all forests. You can't catch him in a wooded area at all. He can only live in the plains. So what's difference about this
00:53:25
forest and a normal American forest for instance? What did you like about this? Um that was just in the middle of the
00:53:31
city. Um and so it was just pretty just a regular old forest. It is beautiful. Yeah. You know, you were in cherry blossom season, right? I think that I kind of missed it. It just ended. Yeah.
00:53:43
Damn. Cuz I went there during it was beautiful. Okay. I do think it's early in the April, right? Yeah. March. Yeah.
00:53:49
Okay. I think they said like I was like a week. What is this? That was just a store with a bunch of stuff. Uh you like
00:53:57
stuff, huh? Yeah. Is it toys? It's a lot of stuff. Yeah. Little toys. They look vintage almost. I think they were maybe.
00:54:04
Oh, that's cool, dude. That is very cool. Yeah. Yeah. I went to that. that's at some like mall that has like just a billion stores. And then I went there
00:54:11
specifically because Carlos had asked for uh something from Japan for like uh and I like used underwear from a vending machine. Oh yeah, you got him used underwear. I appreciate that. And did
00:54:23
you did you get us anything? I got y'all gifts. Wait, did you Let's go back to the underwear. Did you smell it? No. Be
00:54:31
Look at me in my eyes. Theodore, come on, Teddy. Did you smell it? No. Uh, I don't have a sense of smell anyways.
00:54:42
Okay, then you didn't. So, I haven't like opened it or anything. You haven't? You weren't curious. Um, I guess you
00:54:48
have it with you. Yes. Yeah. Let me see. Yeah. Will you smell it, Andrew? Have you opened it since you brought it here?
00:54:54
No. I have my sense of smell. I have mine, too. Yeah. But it was really hard to buy it because I was just by myself. Oh, you can smell. They had whole as air holes. You can smell. Oh, that's all the
00:55:05
smell is gone now. No, you can actually smell it. Can I smell? Aiko. No. You know what I thought you were going to say? This is Ako. Is that Aiko? Aiko. Oh, yeah.
00:55:20
So, they're used. Yeah. Wow. Wow. This is what Carlos wanted. Imagine the guy that put these on. Oh my god. It's a big fat dude that puts They put these on sumo wrestlers. Wow. What
00:55:35
do you think, Dax? They look like pretty. They look pretty. Can you smell the part?
00:55:43
You can. It's so weird. A Kiko. A for sure. There was a man who um came up to the machine and bought some right
00:55:55
before me because I was like just standing there looking for a while because I I just felt too nervous to
00:56:00
walk up to it and do it, but I saw someone do it and then I went and did it. Wow. So, you got Did you blush?
00:56:09
Uh my god. Good hands. Oh, I went to a baseball game one day. Oh, that's right. We saw that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And
00:56:16
that was Oh, yeah. That's the That's the machine. That Wow. How much is 500? $3.50. Wow. Pretty good business. Yeah, it's really good. Yeah. And what does your
00:56:28
dad do? He owns vending machines. Oh, like candy bars and stuff. No, panties. Yeah. Used panties. Yeah. Wow. That's
00:56:35
kind of embarrassing. He makes $800,000 a year. Yeah. It's crazy. And his grandma makes 5% of that.
00:56:46
All right, let's see. We don't know the age. what the woman looks like. So anyway, yeah, let's move on. No clue.
00:56:53
Okay. Drawings that you liked. That was at that same mall. Oh, that's cool. Did you buy any of those? No. Okay.
00:57:02
I thought that looked like Squidward. It does. It does, but it does. Yeah. So, you're really soaking in the culture of Japan. You really You really kind of went far
00:57:14
and beyond. It does. But it does look like Squidward, dude. It undeniably does what I what we asked for. But I I mostly took videos there. Okay. Okay. Did you
00:57:24
send him video? No. Oh, we saw this one, right? We saw this one already. Yeah. Yeah. Now, did you get lonely at night?
00:57:30
Um cuz you're far away from home. Not really cuz I fell asleep pretty early there. Um cuz of like sleep schedule. Um and then mostly I would just walk all
00:57:43
day and then fall asleep quickly. Oh, but one Did you ever go out at night and go nightife in it and go? I didn't do nightlife stuff. Uh, but I did like walk
00:57:55
around at night just to look around. That's what I mean. But did you go to nightclub, get your moves on? No. No.
00:58:01
Wow. Okay. What did you do? What did you do? Uh, the the more like eventful things was Yeah. I went to like a baseball game. Oh, lovely. And then I ran into a stranger who offered to buy
00:58:14
me sushi and he was super nice. He was a fan. Wait, you Oh, he was a fan. Yeah. What did he look like?
00:58:21
A Japanese guy named Show. Oh, so he was a Japanese guy that recognized you from
00:58:27
the internet. Mhm. How did How did he come up? Are you [Music] What did he do? He said um Dax Dax and then uh and then yeah just said nice to
00:58:41
meet you and stuff and no this I just want to get Dax Dax frame frame nice to meet you nice that's all he said. How'd you know that he was a fan? Uh so big fan. Oh he said that he's just pointing
00:58:56
at a fan. Uh he likes you guys a lot. Oh he does show. We love you dog. We love your show. Yeah. Okay. Good sushi. Yes. Okay. How much did he spend on you? I
00:59:07
didn't ask, but he actually I said you don't have to buy it, and then he just offered to buy it still. It's very nice.
00:59:13
Japanese people are the best, man. Yeah. Some of the nicest people I've ever met in my life. Yeah. Yeah. Everyone's was
00:59:18
super nice. Yeah. So, you didn't go looking for um other people your age or anything to go hang with to scope out some friends, maybe? No. No. Okay. I met
00:59:30
up with a Japanese pop group uh and filmed a video with them. I saw that. Would you connect? Are they a big pop
00:59:36
group? Yeah. What are they called? 5. Oh, yeah. Five. The women pop group. Yeah. Zoom in. They're so beautiful, Dax. They're very
00:59:48
beautiful. Yeah. Yeah. And so we made a video where we were going to make a pizza driver. I saw it. It was very
00:59:53
funny. Very funny. Were they nice? Yeah, they were very nice. Did they speak English? Uh, yes. But I don't think they
00:59:59
understood everything I said. But yeah. Now, do were you attracted to any of them? Uh, uh, yeah. I think they're very
01:00:06
pretty. No, but was there one that you All of them? You liked all of them? Yeah, but I wasn't trying to No, but if
01:00:12
you were if you were in Chernobyl. We're back in Chernobyl. Would you would you would you have sex with all these women for country? Yes. For country. For country. Who which
01:00:24
one of these women would you Yeah. For country? For country. or I'm a general, right? My name is Vladimir, right?
01:00:32
Trronormal is on fire. Okay. For country, you must have sexual intercourse with one of these ladies. Which one would you for country? Remember,
01:00:45
what does for country mean? For Russia. For mother Russia. For mother Russia. We will die. Everyone
01:00:51
will die. Everyone will die. Oh, including Ukraine and Poland. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And we will Is anyone interested
01:00:58
in who who's who would like to? No, we are telling you. No, you pick countrymen. Yeah, we're generals. You must do it for country. For country. You pick.
01:01:09
Um, can I point and you cannot show it? I feel bad. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Well, you How about this? We'll bleep out the color of dress that she's wearing. Oh, okay. Um, and and you can bleep that? Yes, we
01:01:24
will. We will. Interesting. Blow bloop when I say I do that one too. So girl with a You want to [ __ ] the girl in the All right, stop it.
01:01:39
We're going to bank it. We'll blank it out. You know, we'll protect you. I got to tell you, they're all gorgeous. Yeah, they're gorgeous. They're gorgeous.
01:01:44
Yeah. Yeah. Gorgeous. Yeah. Now, my pick would be Be honest. Yeah. I'll pick. Did
01:01:50
you develop a little crush? Uh perhaps. Do you communicate with them still? Well, not directly with them, but yeah,
01:01:56
I I I definitely would have a crush on them. Yeah. On one of I'm saying we're not sharing with the crowd. Do you have
01:02:01
a crush on one of them? Well, do you Dax? We have We have her here. There she is. Come on out. Hey, there. Would There she is. Good to see you again, Mr. Dax.
01:02:14
Good to see you. Yeah. So, Dax, what are you going to do with this one? It's for country. Um, would you like to uh sing
01:02:23
or dance? Dex, look at me. Right. Dex for country. Uh, the country. Yeah. What would you like to do with her? Um, that must I don't have have sex for to save
01:02:38
the country. Yes. Very good. Very good. Very good. But we are not going to use your penis. No.
01:02:47
Wow. That's great. Anyway, five. You met with them? Five V. Five. Yeah. It's F. It's five V. How would you say that? I they Well, they to I said five and then they
01:03:02
told me five V. Oh, I see it now, Dax. I see. I see it now. Yeah. Yeah, I see it
01:03:08
now for sure. Did you have any experiences that you didn't have in LA in Japan? Um go uh maybe going to that baseball game. I sat in like the section where
01:03:23
everyone's like chanting the chant. I've never been there in the stadium. Can you do the chant for me? Yeah. Like let's
01:03:30
go, let's go. That's how they say that. Let's go. Let's go. That was the only English part of the chant. And then they
01:03:37
said um and then there was like stuff in Japanese that What would that be? I don't I don't I didn't know exactly
01:03:44
what they were saying. Just pretend. What do you think they were? What do you think they were? What? Oh, they're
01:03:49
saying hello to the baseball. Hello. Let's go. Let's go. Hello. Hello. That makes sense. That makes sense. What
01:03:54
teams were playing? The Giants and the I I don't remember that. Tokyo Giants, right? Yeah. Or actually, I think it has a different name.
01:04:04
Tokyo Big People. Oh, actually, yeah. I guess the Tokyo Tokyo Giants, right? Isn't that who you saw? Yeah. Who are you rooting for? The Giants. There there was uh I went and
01:04:16
got sushi and and I was at like a conveyor belt restaurant. Oh, those are fun. Those are fun. Very nice. I was
01:04:23
feeling kind of like nervous to cuz I didn't know how to get the person's attention and then the girl beside me
01:04:28
noticed that. So then she like kind of helped me. Yeah. And then she started to talk to me through a Google Translate.
01:04:34
Oh, that's so cool. The future. Yeah. Yeah. I've done that before. Did you talk back? Yes. And that I kind of had a
01:04:43
little crush on her. Oh, no. No, no, no. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She she she said she was also traveling by herself. From where? China. Oh, yes. Good. Yeah. And
01:04:55
so, did you exchange information? No, I just left. What? See, this is Bro, you had a crush and you left. Like in the mood for love. It's No, it's not that. cuz that that girl knew about the love.
01:05:08
What my point is is Dad, this is what you have to do from now on. You have one life to live. You got to take advice
01:05:13
from this guy when it comes to dating. Okay. I'm saying cuz you're he's you're dating
01:05:18
a lot. Thank you. What a [ __ ] I didn't There wasn't a shot. Yeah. I said he's been he's the bat. Well, let's get to
01:05:26
the gifts maybe. Okay. Wait. Time out. Let's go back. Yeah. You had a crush on this girl. That's right. You didn't continue any of the No. Why? Uh I don't
01:05:37
I don't know. Scar your fear. Yes. And your You have fear of rejection. Um or I I didn't want to make her feel weird. What? She's going to say no, right?
01:05:49
Yeah. Anyway, so you got to take risks. Yeah. Can we I really want to set you up
01:05:55
on a date. We tried that. You don't He doesn't want to. You don't want to. Um I could I could do it. I I get I get
01:06:02
nervous. But did we get any submissions to Carlos in the booth to date Dax from last time? Didn't we plug that? Yeah.
01:06:08
There. We talked to them or watched a couple videos. No, I know. But didn't we didn't get any new ones? We didn't get
01:06:14
any more. No. Well, then let's plug it now, guys. Let's plug it now. You want to fall in love with that, Dax? Look in the camera and and do your No. You know
01:06:20
what? Let's contact the spell lady. Oh, Andria. Andria. Let's go back to Andria.
01:06:26
We'll spend another $30. I'm telling you, being real. Spend another 30 for Dax. Yeah. Love spell. We're doing a
01:06:32
love spell for you. Let's do a spell for you, bud. Okay. Which one would you like? Amazing. Amore. Amore spell.
01:06:38
Andria's blood. New moon. New moon. I think blood. Whatever the blood is. Forever love. Uh, retrieve your lover. Uh,
01:06:45
sunburst love spell. Which one of these jumps out to you? Irresistible allure. Where is that?
01:06:52
Spell. Okay. Irresistible allure spell. So, this remarkable spell highlights your very appealing characteristics, bringing them to the surface so others will see your true and undeniable beauty. Once the irresistible allure
01:07:04
spell is cast, you could feel more confident, be happy in your skin. You like your skin, Dax?
01:07:10
Why? You're going to like it more. Why do you like your skin? Cuz I don't have acne. That's the right question answer.
01:07:15
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Usually face. What's your birthday? November 5th. What year? Uh 1991. A 90s boy. Grab your wand, dude.
01:07:28
What's the other person's name? I don't have a specific if known. You don't know. So, just say, "Yeah, women."
01:07:35
Women. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Women of California. Yeah. Please cast it once. Let's be more specific. No. No. Cast it
01:07:42
two hours later. Okay. Yeah. Cast it again. Add the cart. We got to double it. Double down, dude. You don't You got
01:07:48
to hit, dude. Yeah. Yeah. Just came back from Vegas, dude. You got to hit. Yeah. And how much is that spell? Oh my god,
01:07:55
there's rush shipping and handling. It's It's a spell. That's what I did for uh Bob. Okay, good. Okay, we're confirmed.
01:08:01
We're confirmed. Yeah. So, so Japan as a whole, give it a rating. Uh 10 out of 10. 10 out of 10. Yes. Yeah. Hey, can you do a love spell? Can you do a I'll
01:08:12
pay extra. I swear to God, I have the money in the car. You owe him like $100. It doesn't matter. Do another love for
01:08:18
me. Oh, a love one for you. Yeah, but do it for real. I am. Get the same category that he has. All right. Irresistible.
01:08:24
Well, what else is there? I'm so sorry. It's so funny that you I know you really believe it. Now I know. I do believe it
01:08:30
because the way you just did that, you were very corny. Yeah. Oh, let me read it. Hold on. He just went. Well, no. Sit in your [ __ ] seat. I can't read.
01:08:39
Do a forever love. Yeah. And cast it twice, right? Yeah. Three times. And Andria does it two hours later again. Oh, just do it twice then. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. So, we both get one. Okay. Okay.
01:08:53
So, you know, I'm going, by the way, I'm going to Italy in May. Maybe you should come with me to Italy. Meet my parents.
01:08:59
Hang out with me and my wife. Fun. Yeah. I'm hoping to be there when they elect a new pope. That'd be great. Would that be
01:09:04
crazy? The Filipino one. I'm strong. You want the Filipino pope? Yeah. I think he's I think he's going to get it. But
01:09:10
wouldn't that be crazy if I'm there when they're smoking out the pope? Yeah. You know, when they puff the [ __ ] out the thing,
01:09:17
you would know. You Spanish piece of Cardinal Peter Erdo. Boo. 72y old. Dude, they elect these guys just so they'll die in a year and a half. I know. You know, I I saw a funny meme the other day. It was just so funny. Can I show
01:09:28
you this meme? Yeah. How are you feeling in general? Uh, good. Life is good. Yeah. Yeah. I've just been a little tired from trying to adjust my sleep, but now I feel like I'm pretty much back
01:09:39
to normal from jet lag. Yeah. Yeah. How long did you stay in Japan? Uh, for seven days. Whoa. So, you didn't tell me
01:09:46
what you did the last couple of days? Uh, I did the pop I met up with the pop stars.
01:09:52
Yeah. And then I mostly just walked around more. Uh, and I and then I got y'all a gift as well. We got gifts. Oh my god. I can't believe we see. Yeah. I
01:10:04
They're not like No, it's the it's what the gift what counts. Well, I saw a Tik Tok. What? It's the thought. I mean, well, no, it's No, it's actually the gift that counts. It's the gift that
01:10:14
counts. I agree with that statement. It's the gift that counts. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I saw a clip where I that that you
01:10:21
like t-shirts. I do. So, I got you some t-shirts. A medium. Uh they're large. Oh, man. Oh, let me see. I like that. Give that
01:10:32
to me. I can wear that. You can wear this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Large. And then here. I don't I couldn't find anything
01:10:39
spec. If you don't like them, you could have this. No. What is that? It's just Well, it's just coins from Japan. Yeah, he wants those. Is this for me? Yeah.
01:10:50
So, where's mine? Wait, you got me two plain shirts from Japan. It has nothing on them. There's no symbol. There's no They're from like a a
01:11:03
popular [ __ ] matter, dude. You got me too. You know where they're from? What? Uniqlo. We have those here. I know. We
01:11:10
have those here. That's what I was asking if you did anything different than LA. You know, look up Uniqlo
01:11:16
locations. I think there's one in the mall. So, you got me nothing. Dax, thank you for this. This is very nice. Shop
01:11:22
Uniqlo in the US. I can get you something else from here. Thank you, Dax. This is very thoughtful, bud.
01:11:28
You're welcome. But I can get you something else. Yeah, there's one in Century City Mall and there's one in the
01:11:34
Valley. Should we just return these and we can get something else? I cut the price tag off right smart. Now we can't return them.
01:11:40
Okay, good. Well, cuz I thought it would be rude. Okay. I do have one other shirt from there. Yeah, it's in my car. I don't want it. Okay. No. What is it? Does it
01:11:52
say anything on it? It has a collar. Honestly, dude, go get it. No, I don't want it. I I I I need you to have it. It's a large. I can't wear
01:12:05
it. You No, listen. When you we send you to the Congo, where are we to send you?
01:12:10
Spain. Whatever. I don't think Spain now, but wherever we send you, get me a specific a medium shirt specific to what the area you're in. Okay. You know what
01:12:21
I mean? Like go to go to like a Hard Rock Cafe or go to like a Hooters or whatever
01:12:27
and get Hooters Singapore. I could order you a high I can do that, too. Okay. Okay. That's not what I want. I want the thought that counts. Yeah. Yeah. And you didn't think that through
01:12:39
at all? What was the thought of this? The coins. Yeah. Let's go through the Let's go through the coins. Go ahead.
01:12:46
What we had left. This is just what was left over. I I actually just couldn't think of
01:12:51
something. So, you didn't buy any gifts and then you thought, "These guys sent me to
01:12:56
Japan. I'll just get your change." Uh, yeah. Okay. Well, I Yeah. Hey, I don't know if you collect coins. They sent you to Japan. [Laughter]
01:13:12
Do Do you collect coins or? No, dude. Nobody does. I'll get y'all both different gifts. No, no, no. I don't want another gift. Okay. Yeah. I want you to get him another
01:13:24
gift. You keep giving me change. You keep giving me loose change from wherever you go. Yeah, I'm fine with
01:13:29
this. Loose change is good for me. I'm Give me loose change. I do have I don't want them. I have
01:13:36
enough from him. I think this is very thoughtful that Okay. I actually appreciate this. I have a bill like a
01:13:43
10,000 yen bill that I was going to take to the currency exchange, but I could give it to you. No, it's okay. How much
01:13:48
is that worth? $70. No, it's okay. It's fine. It's fine. But anyway, um, look into the camera and say thank you for being a bad bad friend. Thank you for being a bad friend.
01:14:03
I just ordered a pizza and when the delivery driver gets here, one of Japan's biggest pop groups will perform for them. Are you excited? Yes. This is
01:14:12
an example of the performance they they'll get. Five, six, seven, eight. This is going to be awesome.
01:14:40
We just got the pizza, but the driver said they didn't want to be in the video. the the driver didn't I don't think wanted to be on camera today.
01:14:52
But then if if you would like some pizza, there's you can still have pizza. Yummy. Cool. [Music]
01:15:15
Yeah. Woo. [Music]