00:00:00
you two are bad friends who are these two idiots white dude i'm an asian dude you two
00:00:07
are disgusting oh you two or something we're bad friends hello jeremiah hi frank
00:00:14
hello tonga tonga the kid hello patrice
00:00:20
patrice yeah what were you doing in the car why
00:00:26
were you late because i was reading tweets so you know people think they're not stupid true people what was he doing in the car rudy he was
00:00:32
popping his pimple
00:00:37
i was reading tweets and you still have the pimple thing on your nose let me see and i know you know i haven't
00:00:44
seen you in a while and this is not a really good way to start you know it's you know it's hello how
00:00:50
are you how was hawaii did you say hello how are you to me let's not fight listen that last episode
00:00:56
where we're fighting it's really it's good oh it's what a volatile it was one of the best episodes we ever made it
00:01:01
doesn't matter it's volatile and let's start out the right way ready yeah hey bob
00:01:08
see it's not organic it doesn't work because i'm absorbing it you know what the problem with america
00:01:13
is oh god why we're divided we don't absorb hellos what are you
00:01:18
talking about we we need to start absorbing hello so when somebody says hello right our immediate response is hello back
00:01:25
right because he's conditioned to do that we're conditioned to do that well someone goes right so when you say hello
00:01:30
i absorb it hey bob hello now what you're not hearing is this
00:01:38
you're not hearing that but it's happening say hello to me well let's let's do it again okay you
00:01:44
see it first okay let it absorb all right go ahead hello
00:01:52
bob hello andrew how was hawaii baby boy oh
00:02:01
it was great you know it's fun why is a fun little island um i spent just but first of all in my
00:02:08
hotel room i i'm it was almost as if like you know a rock band
00:02:14
stayed there because you destroyed it yeah what did you do it's just the maids i had to give them
00:02:20
an extra 50. every day because i don't have it cleaned every day i like i let four days pass so wait you leave
00:02:27
fifty dollars for every few days yeah and then still they they're very hesitant of cleaning out yo that's
00:02:32
crazy it's insane i have 50 dollars sunflower seeds on the wall because you're flicking in
00:02:38
bed from bed no from my little my little warzone chair right everything's sticky they have to
00:02:45
throw out that chair you know that what they have to throw out all that furniture they do right that's so sad it's just like blood
00:02:52
calm everything blood come everything and they did they bring a hazmat
00:02:59
yeah i'm pretty nasty dude bobby lee was in this room and i do it fast i can make things messy
00:03:06
real fast how many did you order do you order extra towels and pillows every day oh it's also food i didn't go to a
00:03:12
restaurant not once no but isn't hawaii it's pretty safe right isn't hawaii safe right now
00:03:18
because they're quarantined they're they're cooking way too safe did you go to the beach bro when i got there
00:03:23
when i got there dude they almost didn't let me in the island what do you mean i was on the island i
00:03:30
was on the island at the airport but they wouldn't let me like come on because you're korean no
00:03:36
that's silly talk well no hawaii i don't know do they like you guys i have no idea because there is mostly is it mostly
00:03:42
japanese people isn't it the whites are there yeah okay no what
00:03:49
because i didn't fill out the um you had to fill out all this paperwork right and i never did it did you have to
00:03:54
do that when you came back to la i heard there's a paper at lax that people have to fill out no i didn't no
00:04:00
no no no no they'll be through they recognize me
00:04:05
let's be honest from what bobby lee from what uh what do you think people recognize you from i did a
00:04:12
national el pollo commercial i've um done i was in that um
00:04:20
show that nick rutherford did on um what's that called love no nick
00:04:26
rutherford has a show on uh what's that cartoon network an adult swim adult swim dream core
00:04:31
yeah was it cool dream corp i one line on that what was the line tricky ricky is here perfect yeah i'd
00:04:39
give you the gig again and i didn't even i memorized that eight months ago i still have it did anybody recognize you from bad friends
00:04:45
in hawaii did anybody say i love bad friends they do yeah and it's funny because it's
00:04:51
obviously you know i'm walking around hawaii with a mask on right so obviously
00:04:57
you know when asians don't have masks on people hard to tell well people get scared when they don't when they see you
00:05:04
i'm more comfortable when asians have masks but with the mask on we're like you know we it's very we're
00:05:09
hard to recognize sure but for some reason my voice people recognize well yeah bob it's a deep [ __ ] up
00:05:16
voice right it's deep for a korean guy i guess yeah yeah you sound that sounds guttural yeah yeah ago
00:05:22
excuse me bad friends nice that's the only word i use a little korean guy we were shooting
00:05:28
downtown a little korean guy sprinted up to me no one of the background guys why does he have to be little he was very small
00:05:34
because i was it a boy well i couldn't hear him at first i had to grab my picture off the ground yeah yeah and i had to get him up at eye line
00:05:42
hey are you are you andrew boss the plane the plane no and he said uh he ran up to me and he
00:05:47
says bad friends bad friends my my favorite show say say hi to bob please and i said of course of course
00:05:54
he was like so wide-eyed and happy so he says hi i don't know what's his name something kim i guess i don't like it
00:06:00
memorize the name wong park yeah yeah i don't know do you get recognized often well i don't
00:06:06
go anywhere anymore i know i mean even before low no no no like how many times a day
00:06:14
one maybe and how does it make you feel it was i don't know it depends on the
00:06:20
scenario if i'm if i'm like at a restaurant just wanting to eat and pass the time and talking to somebody i i you know it is
00:06:26
what it is i'd rather just keep going but do you remember the first time you got recognized
00:06:33
uh maybe yeah yes yes no i do think i do yeah the
00:06:38
first thing yeah of course i know what happened it felt incredible it does at first right yeah if it changes you yeah it does
00:06:44
change you know what what this is very uncomfortable to talk about well it's just weird it's weird to talk about but
00:06:50
i'd like to talk about it well hold on so what happened well i i got r i got recognized the first thing
00:06:56
i did was punked and i got recognized for you got recognized from punk well because we did promo for jimmy kimmel
00:07:03
and i went on jimmy kimmel and i climbed on his desk and a speedo and um and uh uh guillermo tased me
00:07:10
i'm gonna speedo and guaramotes me and justin bieber was on so it was just a big viewed episode or a big viewed you know yeah jimmy
00:07:16
kimmel episode and like three or four days later i was walking on third or mel
00:07:21
or third or beverly one of those where all the restaurants are and a kid goes i saw you i saw you naked
00:07:28
on kimmel yeah and i was like i was in a speedo and he was like yeah it was gross that was funny and i
00:07:34
was like oh thanks and then it made me sad about that i was gross because my body was gross on
00:07:39
kimmel and then i thought well i gotta get in shape and i that literally was like part of the impetus
00:07:45
really 100 oh wow because i saw the photos and it was like my little penis isn't a little speedo
00:07:50
little tiny penis yes and my doughy midsection was spilling over the speedo and i was like oh [ __ ]
00:07:56
that's how people before people see you before you see yourself on tv you don't know how bad a shape you might
00:08:01
be in and then once you see what you look like on tv then you go eyes in a mirror yeah but
00:08:06
you don't really know until you see it amongst other people on tv yeah i know how [ __ ] up my body is well you've always had a bad body though
00:08:13
whoa you never were in shape you've always had a bad body i know but it's been good for me yeah i know it
00:08:19
works no it feels normal to me though it sure yeah i don't feel like oh i'm jiggly i
00:08:25
can't i could hardly walk you well do you jiggle at all when you walk i wobble yeah you wait i don't jiggle you that's why we call it
00:08:32
yeah but i do wobble the [ __ ] out of things you're kind of like when those punching bags you know they they wobble back and
00:08:38
forth do you ever get recognized rudy no never no it's gonna happen though just wait the first time i had so i did
00:08:44
the um tonight show in seventy thousand or oh earlier okay i thought it was one of the
00:08:51
original with carson i mean you're 50 you could have done you literally could have done
00:08:56
you couldn't have how how not carson did it until the 70s late in the 80s no he went to the 80s
00:09:03
you just couldn't have yeah
00:09:10
[Laughter] [Music]
00:09:17
shut up 2001 no don't do that either let me let me absorb it okay ready absorb it
00:09:22
when did you do the tonight show bob sometime in 2000 and um not in the 70s
00:09:28
it was leno not carson
00:09:34
so i did it and then two weeks later never got recognized but two weeks later
00:09:40
i was at the panicking coffee shop in la jolla because i was doing la jolla at the comedy store and the panicking is a
00:09:47
place i used to work panicking yeah it's a coffee shop in la jolla i used to do the morning shifts
00:09:53
you have to wake up five in the morning it's where i ground up the cockroaches oh right yeah yeah yeah and i remember
00:10:00
so now i'm back at the panicking you know after doing the tonight show and no one's recognized it's fine i
00:10:05
wasn't thinking about it right and a young lady and her mother was at a table
00:10:12
and i'm just drinking my coffee and i had my legs crossed like this you're right and i think you could smoke
00:10:17
at that time so i was smoking and she goes excuse me yes and she goes
00:10:23
did you do the tonight show a couple weeks ago as a stand up i cool
00:10:30
yes i did she goes this is pretty good that's good pretty good is good
00:10:37
it [ __ ] me up for like six months why pretty good good is a terrible no
00:10:44
it's pretty good what did you want her to say it was really good but it wasn't i know i know so that's what i was
00:10:51
thinking about like what i could have done better but to me when you do a set right yeah when somebody says it was
00:10:57
pretty good you don't feel good well when someone says it's the set is pretty good when you after you've just done a live show
00:11:03
that means it's really bad when someone goes pretty good oh so it it so time it's like one time i see
00:11:09
yeah it's it's settled a little bit also television is way different than live so when somebody goes that tv set was
00:11:15
pretty good it's probably pretty good when somebody says sees you live and go yeah if i don't like the band creed why
00:11:22
i just don't right but if i saw the lead singer walking down i'd be like i love you guys
00:11:29
why just because i want him to feel good i would ignore him no i would just keep moving i go i love that
00:11:35
all your albums i hate them but i would say it to make them feel good if i've seen
00:11:41
comics right what if you just don't say anything at all comics not do well at all right name it right
00:11:47
no no stop it all right but one of them name one or i've i've seen like um i don't hurt his feelings but do
00:11:54
it no i'm not i'm not going to do it um i'm going to give me the addition let me know let me think of a good one
00:11:59
that's that wouldn't be hurt or i've seen whitney have an okay set
00:12:05
right like not so good yes one time she had an okay set a lot of stuff afterwards i said oh that was amazing why did you
00:12:13
choose just to make her feel better chris rock chris rock watched me go up in the o.r yeah
00:12:18
uh do you ever have you ever been there when rock is there late like sometimes rock will he stays the hotel next door and he'll
00:12:23
just walk in late and he'll just watch late sets i saw his got car get towed once from the club yeah he parked right in
00:12:29
front of the club and while he was on stage they towed they towed him oh my god and then when
00:12:34
he got off right i'm the one that had to tell him oh no yeah and he did not look good was this
00:12:40
recently or when you were working way back in the day when you were working there yeah oh this is way back this is before bring
00:12:45
your pain bring the pain bring the pain whatever bring your pain whatever that's actually a good title bring your pain to my show
00:12:52
bring your pain anyway rock was in the bucket seats and he showed up late and i had i had pushed my set because i had
00:12:57
done the improv changed their time and the factory changed their time and then i told adam i'm gonna be late
00:13:02
so i was late so then my spot you know your spot slides down and i slid down and i said i'll still do it and it was a late spot there was barely
00:13:08
anybody in the room i'm like i guess i'll just try some new [ __ ] i get up there you know those you know those nights when you're like whatever
00:13:14
there's nobody here it's like a tuesday so i get up there i'm trying a bunch of new [ __ ] it's going like mediocre
00:13:20
but it's fine like it's just in my head i'm like this is fine this is exactly what i wanted it's all it's a bunch of new stuff i get off
00:13:26
stage raucous i go to sit down to look at my phone to turn off my recorder rock sitting next to me and i
00:13:32
was like [ __ ] yeah [ __ ] and i turn and he goes hey and i was like hey what's up yeah
00:13:39
and i just sat there on my phone and then before he gets up he kind of is like you know like
00:13:45
looking to get up and leave without it being like weird because we i just sat right next to him and he kind of go turns to me and he
00:13:51
just goes a good set man and then he walks away and i was like
00:13:56
no he knows he knows he knows how bad it was and when you say good set man and walk
00:14:02
away no it was not good so now he'll remember that who that kid yeah yeah nah
00:14:08
did i tell you what happened to me hit me with him at caroline's oh my god this is the reason why i don't
00:14:14
play caroline's i'll they've asked i'll just say no because of this one experience did you used to
00:14:20
play it all the time all the time i've only played it once so um
00:14:25
this is before tiger belly or bad friends or anything like i just didn't have an audience yeah
00:14:31
you did i had mad tv audiences but they were dwindling sure right so i would like sell okay tickets
00:14:38
one show right and there'll be some shows it would be completely not good right like 20 30 people right
00:14:46
this one particular night it was a saturday night second show and just no tickets were sold
00:14:51
zero i mean i had maybe 12 people saturday night down in new york is so
00:14:57
hard it's so hard and then also michael i remember this day at night because my friend bess hanley
00:15:02
came from long island because he had moved to long island yeah from san diego i mean i knew her from san diego and she um
00:15:08
she brought her husband and she had this you know she had i because i could see her she was like up
00:15:14
to the left right and this is her face through my whole set [Laughter]
00:15:19
she's trying to read something far away yeah just like confused and like also like very concerned yeah
00:15:27
like he might need to get a job were you bombing it was not good it's just you yeah and it got to the
00:15:32
because i you know um you know i do this thing at the end of my set where you show your penis where i
00:15:37
get completely naked yeah and i run around it's the closer it's my closer it's very humiliating they call it the
00:15:43
career closer so this is so humiliating so
00:15:49
i 15 minutes of my set i just decided to do it in the middle i just said i got to do it now in the middle of the show yeah
00:15:54
i'm so i'm bombing so bad i don't know what the [ __ ] to do you're like i just also i knew it was okay
00:16:01
because at the time paul mooney did a third show i don't understand that
00:16:07
so um on saturday nights paul mooney had a like a kind of he was a um he's like 7 10
00:16:13
midnight or something yeah he yeah he was like the midnight show but he came early and they're like you can go short because paul's here and
00:16:19
this will be proud outside to see paul of course of course yeah and also you have people have to realize
00:16:25
that when paul mooney performs you know everyone shows up no matter what city you're in like if you're in
00:16:31
l.a paul mooney performed eddie murphy and everyone would show up 100 right so um i knew paul moody so i go
00:16:38
i just do it now and get out and just say paul's performing whatever right and i'm on stage i'm sweating
00:16:44
right it's cold as [ __ ] i'm sweating yeah and and i'm naked and no one's laughing
00:16:50
right people are kind of getting up right my friend face is even getting work down here like
00:16:56
this like anger almost and i remember just picking up my clothes
00:17:01
good night no cheer right walking off and then i just remember sweat and tears welling up right
00:17:08
and it was just terrible and you sat in that tiny little green room they have yeah so there's a screw up to the left right yeah so i see a guy leaning
00:17:15
against the wall in the corner i don't know who it is oh yeah i don't know who it is
00:17:20
i have my clones and i'm walking and walking and walking completely naked by the way right and
00:17:27
i realize as i get closer i go if that's chris rock i swear to [ __ ] god oh no i'm gonna
00:17:33
quit so i see it's a chris oh so i go
00:17:38
i don't know what it says i go hey i go hey what up man
00:17:47
right i'm shaking right hey what a man man and this and what he said to me
00:17:55
right has been ingrained into my psyche right it's what i wake up to it's what i
00:18:00
sleep with yeah right what are you doing man oh my god
00:18:07
you should get that tattooed on you what are you what are you doing man here's my response
00:18:14
i don't know and i remember being in that green room dressing right and i remember thinking to myself
00:18:21
i'm going to stay for palm no no no no i got my leave and i just wandered into the city
00:18:26
gone yeah gone those nights you deserve to decide yeah i have there's ten shows in my life
00:18:32
that almost ruined you that that there was oh i had a [ __ ] show at cobbs al magical
00:18:38
saw it where i went to the kitchen and i literally got on my hands and knees and i and i looked up in the sky and
00:18:45
just cried it was that terrible natasha legere was there and i just was going i mean i there's
00:18:54
there's ten of them in my life that stays with me shows forever they were so bad yeah and
00:19:00
and they're always like situations where um it could have ruined me like that show
00:19:06
with it at cobbs yeah was zuckerberg it was for facebook
00:19:12
what yeah so facebook was rented out cobbs and they gave us the best comics it was
00:19:18
me ian edwards and tasha legero al magical i thought they said the best comics back in the
00:19:24
all right come on but at the time yeah no no great yeah it was good all good very good comments
00:19:31
and so um and i had to close right but by that time they were drunk
00:19:36
yeah and i just remember like people were dancing like there's music playing for some reason i'm on stage
00:19:42
and people are just like the party has started people just zuckerberg everyone's just
00:19:47
dancing right i'm going to tell my jokes right people are just dancing not even paying attention right
00:19:52
i remember just putting the mic back in going getting on my knees and just screaming crying crying in the kitchen
00:19:57
oh my god it was terrible but you played there again madrigal loved it you never played cobbs again after that no that's the reason
00:20:03
people so i played the punch line yeah which is like 150 seats
00:20:08
well they're owned by the same person i don't know so cobb is like you know i could make four or more 425
00:20:14
and every year they go bobby you're different now you can sell it out you can make so much money and i
00:20:20
go i won't enter that because that was that cobb is where dr ken jung physically assaulted me when
00:20:27
he when when you guys uh so yeah so the cobb says there's always like these these events in my life yeah that i that
00:20:35
are granted in my memory that i like i just can't so whenever i walk in i get like this ptsd kind of like
00:20:41
oh this that's where i had the broke this is where ken attacked me
00:20:46
so um you know i love music yeah you're a big musician i love earbuds that's right my favorite earbuds are
00:20:53
raycon raycons are the best wireless recons man yeah they're great for me because i like to run everyone knows i've talked about
00:20:58
it i run at night and my favorite thing to do is pop in some wireless earbuds raycon are great for a multitude of reasons they fit so
00:21:05
snug in my ear the case is sleek and cool it doesn't it's not bulky in your pocket it's noise isolating for your earbuds
00:21:11
yeah it's normal like you said the audio quality is incredible i'm telling you the number one thing that bob and i no joke have
00:21:17
talked about is for the price people overpay for these wireless earbuds constantly and you're getting ripped off
00:21:22
for no reason uh these things are worth the money they sound so great and they're probably half
00:21:28
the price of what you're paying right now uh raycon is sponsored by a lot of big musical artists snoop doo
00:21:34
double jizzle which is uh bobby's favorite artist of all time and now raycon's being generous for the
00:21:40
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00:21:47
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00:21:54
friends use this whole a day season make her home and be filled with joy and may your
00:22:01
butthole be as clean as fresh driven snow thanks to hello tushy my butthole does look like fresh driven
00:22:06
snow when it's clean because i'm white yours is a little bit dirtier but i got to tell you hello toshi can get out anything from
00:22:12
anybody's tush don't get stuck with a post turkey day disaster uh protect your pipes well here's what i
00:22:18
love about it um you know i've always used toilet paper on my whole life all i use now is hello tushy it really
00:22:24
cleans my [ __ ] really well and also on top of it i don't get i don't use toilet paper and also um
00:22:31
it's cheap right it's not it's easy it's affordable it's extremely affordable right yeah so 79
00:22:38
and it's easy to install yeah just stop stop at the toilet paper it's so stupid use hello tushy it's comfortable if
00:22:44
you're worried about uh how people are gonna think about you here's how they're gonna think they're gonna think boy that guy's butthole is really clean
00:22:49
i use it every single day we have one at the office i have one at my house he has one at his house as well i thought it was going to be tough to
00:22:55
install george did it and you guys know george is not a smart person so it's easy to do stop wiping your butt start washing with
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00:23:14
apparently there was a rumor that you know that's like a hotel up above and it was like a halfway house some there was a rumor
00:23:20
that one time a guy died and you know when you die you like begin to leak your body like leaks after a few days
00:23:27
wait wait wait and he leaked through the fl the ceiling that's grow like the zit that's gross
00:23:34
no seriously he leaked his like his you leaked he leaked through the floor wait so your body liquefies absorbs into
00:23:41
the wood when you die after a few days you start to disintegrate and the liquid inside of you
00:23:46
leak leaks out of your body and he leaked through the ceiling and
00:23:52
they had to replace the ceiling and i'm not kidding the only reason i think i remember this is because when i was there
00:23:57
in last year they had a leak from the hotel again because someone had flooded their
00:24:02
apartment or whatever and it was leaking into the club there was a water dude i'm on stage right i'm on stage and
00:24:08
i hear this i'm like what the [ __ ] i look there's a bucket and the audience is laughing
00:24:14
because they've already addressed it nobody told me i had no idea i look up there's a leak coming out of the [ __ ] ceiling
00:24:20
and all i could think of was is this a dead guy it's a dead guy's apartment yeah yeah
00:24:26
yeah they said that some guy had leaked through he had done your body i did not know that about the human body you know that rudy
00:24:32
um kinda what do you know about kinda what do you mean kinda when the body dies what have you heard when the body dies i
00:24:38
know that the body um what's the word that you use this sin
00:24:43
well disintegrates it it does kind of slowly it decomposes yeah
00:24:48
but yeah i know that the the liquids go out because they come out yeah you know like most
00:24:53
dead bodies just poop yeah i i whenever i watch like forensic shows and stuff like that i
00:24:59
just that you know and a lot of people get to want to do that as a business why why would you want to there's a guy on there's a guy on um
00:25:06
twitter there's an account on twitter or or tick tock or something and they show you when they go into crime scenes after they're done or
00:25:12
or when people die in their apartment it's insane they wear hazmat suits they have to like
00:25:17
clean and disinfect everything there's so much when someone dies there's so much [ __ ] everywhere
00:25:23
yeah blood poop it's it's insane how much blood and poop yeah because if i was a friends guy i
00:25:28
watched so many movies that i would do things that they do in movies and then it's probably not something that you would do in real life like so they'd be
00:25:34
like what are you doing right like you know if i was at a crime scene and i would like take the refrigerator and like pull it
00:25:40
forward and they're like what are you doing like there could be a sign back here looking for evidence yeah yeah yeah sloth
00:25:46
hear me or whatever either like he had a heart attack right here yeah who knows who knows i'm ripping out the scene yeah
00:25:53
i would do things based on like like the movies you know right right you come in eating a sandwich bobby this is a crime scene
00:26:02
yeah or like i would put the stuff on that you know like in um um silence of the lambs where they put
00:26:08
the stuff underneath the nose i've always wanted to know what that smells like oh i'm obviously not good
00:26:14
no the stuff that you do to to yeah it's got to be super strong to match yeah it must smell delicious though maybe
00:26:20
it's like [ __ ] right it smells like [ __ ] it's probably vapor rub it's like vixx it's probably like menthol it's strong menthol
00:26:26
you think so gotta be what else can block the smell what else is that strong it's like some sort of like you know like uh dragon fruit
00:26:32
oh yeah like a dragon fruity kind of lychee mandarin leeches like really
00:26:40
or something that maybe mixes well with dead things so it's a with a combination of poop and
00:26:45
that makes a good smell yeah right it's a chemical reaction i always wanted to know what that smells like it's like hot hands you know what
00:26:51
hot hands are yeah it can't just be something you buy a [ __ ] you know no no that's special order type of [ __ ]
00:26:57
that's some you got to know someone that has like those um the hookups for like industrial strength
00:27:03
things to be able to even get the chemical compounds to do that to be able to to be able to have the
00:27:08
reaction to it you can't buy it at walgreens you know you got to have a hookup i don't want to go dark but i'm going to let's do it
00:27:15
it just i don't know why but that reminds me of that i don't know what the kid's name is but
00:27:21
there was a kid who was maybe 11 years old 12 years old okay
00:27:26
right and he um he wakes up one day and he his mom he has a mom right he
00:27:32
lives in an apartment he has a sister as well is it a real story he's a real story okay he wakes up one day he's a 12 year old kid
00:27:39
and he goes um he gets a little argument with his mom like you know i want to go out and play and she's like no you can't or whatever
00:27:46
so he decides to go take his like playstation controller wire and he strangles his mom what
00:27:53
yeah she dies and then um he cuts her brain like he cuts
00:28:00
her skull skull yeah yeah by the way this is why they have wireless controllers now you know that
00:28:06
with this one and then um he decides to stick his finger stop it
00:28:11
no i'm not kidding you no yeah in her head in her head he wanted to know what it felt like right so he took his finger
00:28:18
and he went quick and mixed it you wanted to mix the brain he said maybe give her a different thought right
00:28:24
then with this little kid why he's wild this kid what he does is i already know what he puts his penis in there not the prince
00:28:30
the [ __ ] he has sex with his dead mom yeah yeah no no no not the brain that's crazy
00:28:36
that would be sick be funny yeah right it'd be funny yeah he had sex with
00:28:42
his dead mom with a hole in her head yeah and then this is he waits for his sister
00:28:48
cause he's gonna do the same thing yeah but you know what's so funny well i don't know if this is funny
00:28:54
you know what's so funny all right so this is what he does to turn himself in
00:29:00
he goes next door to the there's this old white pair people yeah right this old white
00:29:06
people's couple living in the house he rings a doorbell and he stands there right he's got brain
00:29:12
he's got brain on his face on his fingers you know what i mean he's like he's got his mom's you know vaginal juice in his
00:29:18
face sweating you know mean yeah and he said hell he goes good evening
00:29:23
and they go this young man what's the matter i [ __ ] my mom to bring no brain
00:29:32
you know he [ __ ] he just told him told him yeah he's like i killed him kill my parents squish my brain just
00:29:38
because just because she said no to something what's his name kevin davis are you sure
00:29:46
how was he able to choke his name david i'm sorry oh do you hear that that doesn't seem time out i felt like did you hear what rudy
00:29:52
just said what say it how was he able to choke his mom when he was just 11.
00:29:57
strong those chords are are hard to break i mean yeah that is kevin davis so he choked
00:30:03
his mama she's got a good point though he was really strong at 11 years old he looks like an engineer
00:30:09
ew that's the kid yeah jesus christ what an ugly looking kid i know that's the mom oh poor mom
00:30:16
and how he was 11 years old he was like how old was he well you're honest looking right now
00:30:22
exaggerated rudy good call how can you eleven-year-old choking out a mom is pretty strong well maybe he was a strong kid and she was fifteen
00:30:29
seven seven i'm sorry huge gap massive difference i know but you know when i tell stories
00:30:34
it has to be that i understand so this kid is five and he's beating the [ __ ] out of his father
00:30:43
17. how gross yeah how gross still young so young yeah i got a new show what's it
00:30:51
called how to with john williams on hbo maybe one of the funniest shows i've ever seen
00:30:56
in my entire life it's called how to how to with john williams i believe is the name john williams nathan fielder executive
00:31:03
produced it you know nathan fielder from nathan for you right um this kid this guy this man
00:31:09
makes me laugh so [ __ ] hard how to okay with john williams you must watch john wilson
00:31:15
sorry john wilson this this guy made me laugh so he's basically like a he's like a filmmaker
00:31:21
and he goes around new york and he like kind of jumps scenario to scenario to scenario and you follow him along this
00:31:27
like brilliant line of like just free-form comedy thinking it's a documentary
00:31:32
it's a it's a comedy docu-series yeah and he's behind the camera you don't really ever you don't ever get to see him you just hear him narrate the whole
00:31:38
thing um fascinating bob fascinating it's so funny i'll watch it it's j it's
00:31:44
just such a like a weird i like watching comedies that don't have comedians in it yeah he's he's definitely just like kind
00:31:50
of nathan fielder was like a super straight man yeah he's a comic but he's a straight man why i should be
00:31:55
better at that you know being a straight man no to be able to support friends and things
00:32:01
you do you do you do you support davey you tell you talk about my show davey all the time i don't watch it though
00:32:08
of course not i know but it's like i want to be able to like go you know watch something that's my
00:32:13
friends are in yeah i think if you fall upon it naturally it's probably better yeah but do you watch things that your friends
00:32:20
are in um no no no but why that's not true i mean i saw
00:32:26
love and you were in love yeah but you didn't know i was and i had three lines that's right that's correct
00:32:33
uh what else um yeah i'm trying to think of the shows that my friends are on that i watched but like
00:32:39
no they're shows that i wish i was friends with the people on the shows like what we do in the shadows i wish i was friends with them all right because
00:32:45
i think they're all i know one guy they're brill they're brilliant who's the tv show yeah who matt yeah he's so so funny
00:32:52
beyond talented but um like most of the things i watch i don't have anybody that i know in it but also
00:32:58
like uh what are our friends in that we should be watching what's inside what's something that we should be like when the league was out did you
00:33:04
watch that i saw a couple episodes but did you yeah yeah yeah no i did i
00:33:09
did i watched i would watch it i'd watch it i i don't i don't appointment view tv ever i never
00:33:14
was like i gotta watch it i'm working do you ever watch that sure i saw some of those too yeah but i never
00:33:20
i never watch things habitually i don't ever do that now that we're in this time of like i can consume all the episodes i want like
00:33:26
i can sit and watch how to i can watch them all in one night and then i'm done but that wasn't the way years ago you used to
00:33:32
you know i was like oh i saw this episode i see that episode yeah but as a kid i was a fan like i would watch me too anything
00:33:38
comedy wise no matter what it was but it was scheduled comedy like it was tuesday night you know it was
00:33:43
even just movies like even if it was like a movie right that like
00:33:49
you know i knew three people in but are they making comedy movies anymore no even do you not get what i'm saying well like
00:33:55
what you're saying you would watch it even if you knew one person and they had one line it just takes me out of it because you
00:34:02
know them now it takes me out of it right yeah i don't know what it is it's like they could be the best actor it just
00:34:08
kind of just makes me go ah who do you think you're friends with that's the best actor what what which one of your friends is
00:34:13
literally the best actor out of all your friends that's a good question that even the public would go yeah that person is
00:34:18
probably good that i know personally yeah that you're actually friends with not someone that you like they have to be a stand-up no just the best actor that you're
00:34:25
friends with
00:34:32
like someone that i think that the best actor that i know is stone straight eric yeah i mean he's a very talented
00:34:38
actor he's a good actor yeah he's a good actor he's a really good actor and he's won emmys yeah so that's pretty
00:34:44
good yeah what else um you think you'll ever win a trophy
00:34:49
seriously do you not care i just too scared of when of do being
00:34:56
good no i just i just know myself on set and i'm just confused right you yeah i don't think they're
00:35:01
confused you think they know exactly i don't know what's going on they know exactly what they're doing like there's like this is so
00:35:07
embarrassing to say give it this is so embarrassing but
00:35:14
it's so embarrassing i have to say it so when i was when i just was in hawaii
00:35:20
yeah right i don't read the scripts do you read the scripts yes what you read the whole script it's your
00:35:26
job i don't read it you've never read the script no i don't know what's going on so how do you know what scene you're doing i i
00:35:32
always go i tell whoever the guy is right the pa yeah night before just send me
00:35:39
the sides right they do yeah they email them to you yeah so i read the sides but you don't read the full episode no
00:35:45
no so sometimes i don't know the context of why i'm saying certain things
00:35:51
that's a huge issue yeah so like there was a line where i i got so there was an old lady there right
00:35:59
and we're having this banter back and forth right i don't know who this old lady is right i know her name real name is jade
00:36:06
woo she's from new york she's an old asian actor she does a million things stop saying old older she's 67 older
00:36:14
older yeah and um so we hung out you know maybe we smoked cigarettes together and we banter about you know i mean life
00:36:20
and pandemic and whatnot did you guys squat while you smoked were you squatting we don't we have chairs man don't be like that i
00:36:26
just in my head you and and little asian woman squatting so um i can't believe i never thought that so there was this line where i'm saying
00:36:32
like you know if you were younger i would date you right
00:36:37
and time out would you no but in the line i say that right but i thought i was being literal
00:36:45
oh you're oh right right because i don't know the our relationship you don't know the
00:36:50
concept of the context because you didn't read the [ __ ] script yeah so i was like reading it like you know what i mean you know if you're
00:36:57
younger i would date you like like i was being real yeah you're
00:37:03
being literal literal and then cut cut
00:37:09
right you could hear people talking you come to me you go dude you're it's you're joking
00:37:15
and you're like that's mean and i wouldn't joke about it i go oh right but then it's like then everyone
00:37:22
realizes that you don't read this i don't read the script right and there's like a little bit of embarrassment going on sure
00:37:27
right where i go oh sorry i don't read the scripts i say it out loud but they don't care i know but still i should read it yes
00:37:35
yeah yeah but yes so i'm doing this i want people to make i'm making an announcement
00:37:40
please don't roll your eyes i didn't [ __ ] rude i didn't but i got a big movie bob okay
00:37:46
what is it i can't tell you what it is yeah well then why even bring it up because they won't let me but i i got a
00:37:51
big movie and i'm the second lead in it wow okay can you say who else is in it
00:37:57
um no i don't wanna
00:38:05
cover your mouth [Laughter]
00:38:15
yeah december 12th i'm going to be in phoenix are some tickets left uh for me i'm doing a couple shows in phoenix one time only
00:38:21
desert show rick rick bronson's room no i'm going to be uh downtown are you doing uh stand-up blogs
00:38:29
stand-up live yeah yeah that's a great room three shows three shows a beautiful room phoenix december 12th go to my website
00:38:37
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be sure to use the promo code bad friends at bluetooth.com liquid ivy oh my god uh cooler weather
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get better hydration today liquidive.com promo code bad friends i've never read any script right and i've done a
00:41:32
thousand things right but i'm starting to do it yeah and how was the script
00:41:37
really good really funny did you say yes before you got the offer or like did you say yes before you read it no because i had to read it first before
00:41:43
i had the meeting because i had to still vie for the job right because you were still nervous you might not land no i had to
00:41:49
they wanted they didn't offer it to me i had to have a zoom meeting right to talk about the
00:41:55
script they just wanted to prove that you could read the script right so like when i was in the zoom
00:42:02
call yeah i had to talk about it right and go yeah i think my character is very interesting
00:42:08
because he changes and shifts through you know i mean and you have to talk about right now you have to [ __ ] you [ __ ]
00:42:13
your way through it and i had to immerse myself in the material i know how to do it when i read a script
00:42:19
i understand it i understand what character is doing what not i just so lazy yeah you're right i just don't do it you
00:42:24
know what you could do next time is hire somebody to read it for you
00:42:30
i i found that reading it right and then also convincing them that i was the right guy
00:42:35
for the job was it made me less nervous about even doing it really
00:42:41
when you read when when you read scripts do you envision it or you're just kind of getting through this time i did i was envisioning it
00:42:46
and also i just here's the one thing that i've never done before i've never done before where i read it i
00:42:52
was like i can't wait to do this but so i read that but um and it's you know i'll i'll be
00:43:00
honest with you everybody listening is that you know i'm getting you know and or two i think feel like you too
00:43:05
that we're getting a lot of you know love from bad friends bad friends is my favorite
00:43:11
no i'm being real i think so am i i like doing this more than i like doing anything else i'm just saying though
00:43:16
that are you listening kind of yeah that i feel like what we're doing george
00:43:22
you know alonzo alonso alonzo
00:43:27
rudy um i think what we're doing here is um a good thing i think it's i think it's a
00:43:34
wonderful thing don't be like that i'm beyond genuine right now this is my favorite thing do you think i'm kidding
00:43:39
when i say this i like doing this more than i like doing stand-up more than i like doing dave it's just i get to come here and be
00:43:45
free with my friend it's like my favorite thing on earth i don't dislike any i don't not to disrespect the other things
00:43:51
this is the most fun i get to have yeah and and i unlike you i do like to read the scripts and i don't get offered anything
00:43:58
so maybe i should go to not reading them because you do so many things dude you beat me out of the world i already told you that it's fine but that being said um on this
00:44:05
transitional note rudy as we know likes bad scripts she likes terrible stuff that have no depth no character
00:44:11
development and so in in lieu of this rudy this is her request
00:44:17
she wants us to read a scene from hunter hunter her favorite show and we'll let the fans decide if this is
00:44:23
quality material or not um um what am i gonna play which one am i
00:44:29
uh andre kalua i'm kahlua i'm kalula akalgo yes yeah which one you're in
00:44:36
well go ahead and tell us how to say the name you're the one that you're the expert um
00:44:44
i don't this is a this is my wig that they got for me do you want to wear this no you can wear
00:44:50
it it's not going to fit on your head well because i need to look asian you guys do look asian
00:44:55
i'm the only one in here that doesn't look asian so i need to look like an asian
00:45:02
okay do i look asian no no no no that didn't work i don't
00:45:08
look asian no you look better i look gooder yeah yeah yeah look more good okay i'm uh kahlua and and who's rudy
00:45:17
rudy's not in this no i'm just gonna read oh you're gonna read the name oh you're gonna be the narrator yes yeah cause we can't hear fancy b he's too
00:45:23
tough to make out okay here we go this is hunt a scene from hunter hunter rudy's favorite show look at her smile
00:45:29
look at it see we try to make her happy too okay ready yeah go ahead rude previously
00:45:35
on hunter hunter these suction cups save me anyway
00:45:41
aren't you an octopus
00:45:50
[Laughter] hunter hunter
00:46:00
go ahead strange bees and monsters vast riches hidden treasures evil hunts uncharted frontiers the
00:46:07
mysterious unknown the people who are captivated by the magic in those worlds are called
00:46:12
hunters a mob of assassins attacks kilauea after
00:46:18
he and gone split up to stop this election one of them is icargo an octopus chimera ant aren't you
00:46:27
an octopus octopus [Laughter]
00:46:33
he flies away see ya i need to find a new horse i can't
00:46:39
charge up my neck shot i'll let the ortho siblings take it for
00:46:44
me here but out of nowhere killa jumps on him grabs his gun and attacks and attacked himself to a
00:46:52
rock using the khmer arms yo we meet again
00:46:58
can i ask you something sure go ahead why didn't you dive underwater to escape
00:47:04
you should have an advantage in the water don't tell me you can't swim
00:47:10
it's the blood right when they smell blood your bodies in the water go berserk and ask the injured no matter who it is
00:47:18
with those wounds if you went in there you'd be turned to shreds am i
00:47:23
i wrong that one way too andreas you're the dragonfly or dragonfly hey cargo did you finish
00:47:31
off the kid no she didn't change his voice try to change your voice or anything can't do it again lead him into
00:47:38
it with your oh well oh well i suppose that's one way to
00:47:43
eat calgo did you finish off the key same voice didn't make like a small attempt to
00:47:50
change the voice it shift or anything we're going to do it one more time bro
00:47:55
it's not even hard it's not hard at all oh well i suppose that one way too
00:48:01
oh i can't go did you finish off the kid
00:48:09
give george a shot george go ahead try it try to be the dragon well i suppose that one way too oh
00:48:16
did you finish off the kid pretty good you're you're you're hired no we were still
00:48:22
fighting who are you talking to are you screwed up
00:48:27
wait wait oh do we change rules there yep yep let me do it again okay okay no we're still fighting
00:48:36
who you're talking to i screw up right you can you all can communicate via
00:48:42
telepathy talking to your boss it's that guy who was flying over me right wait now look here
00:48:54
hey he's spanish hispanic it's so funny he
00:49:00
sounds more hispanic than andres does you could see that what i might be doing
00:49:06
yes we're still fighting a dragonfly creature flies in the forest
00:49:12
i think jules you're the creature but you should do a different accent okay ready a dragonfly creature enters the
00:49:18
forest oh sorry to interrupt you let me know if
00:49:24
you learn anything if he sees a dozen of dragonfly flying around inside a grave
00:49:30
the enemy would go suspicious i won't be able to sell my satellite dragonfly inside very good jewel back in
00:49:37
the cave let's make a deal then if you tell me about his power i'll spare your life you
00:49:42
have 10 seconds to answer kilo throw the khmer arms in the water
00:49:47
the sea creatures go crazy devouring it eight seconds left icalgo is puzzled six seconds ikalgo's
00:49:55
mind wanders dreaming
00:50:00
[Music]
00:50:11
octopi are ugly squids are squid horrific i think they look divine two seconds
00:50:18
i won't betray your body icargo cut his arm off and falls in slow motion
00:50:24
yes i could see that in your eyes i can only hope that in my next life i'll be born or squeezed with
00:50:32
quick moves kilowatt catches ical gurus rescuing from a certain death
00:50:37
why because you're a cool guy in different circumstances we could have been friends wow
00:50:45
i kind of wanted to show now are we are we close um your voices are very different
00:50:51
because kilauea is a 11 year old oh oh what's what's kalgogo
00:50:56
icalgo is an octopus he has like a squeaky voice why did he keep why does he keep saying
00:51:02
don't call me an octopus when he is one because he doesn't want to be an octopus because he want to be
00:51:07
a squid because all of his friends bully him oh this is deep oh i wish that's the
00:51:13
context that yeah well if you read scripts you'd know context lesson is learned here that's
00:51:18
pretty impressive though i i got to be honest with you at first i thought that was gonna be like uh phooey and i really did like it like at first i
00:51:25
was like this is stupid but it's really good huh did you watch that show undoing on hbo
00:51:30
no okay what is it what's what is it have you is that what it's called yes you finished it
00:51:36
i did because i'm on f i'm on a it's not a comedy right it's not no no um i'm on episode andre's
00:51:44
like it's a murder mystery yeah i finished episode four yeah and it's just so depressing
00:51:51
that it's like i i find it hard to continue is it worth it uh i think so it just now listen
00:51:58
like i'm at a point uh maybe i'll talk to you after the show about it but you know it's like it's just so [ __ ]
00:52:04
depressing it's like the undoing yeah listen nicole kidman by the way we can't give
00:52:10
spoilers away anymore because people online are really mad that whenever we talk about a show we just give away the show
00:52:15
i think we've done that like six times people are like why are you guys spoiling the show they're not gonna watch it they are
00:52:22
they're not all right give it away no i i haven't seen i haven't i don't know because i don't want to i don't want him to spoil it for me that's why i
00:52:28
want to talk to him all right good talk to him afterwards don't don't ruin it yeah don't ruin the
00:52:33
the the the depth of the undoing rudy um you have a surprise for us i heard
00:52:40
george told me you've got something yeah oh take a chance on me sing it
00:52:45
no do it now no no she was singing take a chance on me by ava take a chance on me take a chance out
00:52:52
i always know the chorus take a chance take a chance take a chance take a
00:52:58
chance take a chance on me that's it i'm going
00:53:06
to talk about our new puppy oh yeah but wait a minute don't you have yeah i want to hear it but don't you have a report for us
00:53:12
oh i have something to promote yeah what is it um i'm doing a senior project that
00:53:18
focuses more on like giving back to the community specifically for the dogs in the
00:53:23
philippines this is great and then there are about 12 million stray dogs in the philippines
00:53:29
and most of them are askals askals are our indigenous street dogs and
00:53:34
they're often overlooked abused and not taken care of because they aren't purebreds so um
00:53:42
i'm doing i'm gonna be selling shirts beanies and stickers and to raise money
00:53:48
and everything that i will profit will be given to five main shelters in cebu and maybe
00:53:54
manila especially at a time like this where a typhoon just hit the philippines awful so a lot of dogs have died a lot
00:54:01
uh are currently starving so i hope you um help me in this and so um
00:54:08
bye my things yes what are you selling shirts shirts are they just your shirts
00:54:15
that say your face i mean i don't know um the the um designs will be dogs and you're
00:54:22
designing them yeah i'm gonna be isn't that awesome that's awesome yeah
00:54:28
twelve thousand stray dogs twelve million yeah well what no twelve million no rudy no way yeah twelve million
00:54:35
twelve that's all yeah yeah she did say she was like a
00:54:40
typhoon hit and i was like god all those people she's like but the dogs were dead yeah the people care about the people
00:54:47
but you do see a lot of them and they're like they're like you know they look like uh pirate dogs
00:54:52
okay they're just like walking with one eye missing like a wooden paw you know i mean just like walking
00:54:58
down the street and it's just like the dog is smoking yeah yeah it's really sad sad
00:55:04
yeah so all the so rudy when's that stuff going to be up we have to tell the the peeps when it's going to be up it's still going to be next year next
00:55:11
year so at the beginning of next year you guys got to watch out to support the the rude jude because she um she
00:55:16
deserves it she wants to help out other people and all the prophets are going to go to a foundation is that what it is yeah
00:55:23
that's right were you there when we went to the philippines cebu and we fed the the kid those homeless are they
00:55:30
homeless kids they live in squatter area areas yeah so like we we we went and got
00:55:36
like um little lunch boxes thousands of them yeah in a truck
00:55:42
okay right we go to this place right and it's like roosters and just garbage and in this
00:55:47
landfill right and then they have like little like it could be huts or caves what are
00:55:53
they hot caves okay yeah and you you have a table you set it up
00:55:59
and they all come running out and some of them are naked they are i'm sorry why are you laughing
00:56:04
well because when you i think about you naked when you say i make it too i know
00:56:10
you're like we brought your lunch and it's like um and goats as well right
00:56:17
there's goats right tied to like like on sticks on the ground right and they're just
00:56:23
like is it food no i don't know what they are are they pets food it's from it's for milk
00:56:31
but um it's just uh and then when you're when you're you know and you're feeding them and um it's and when you
00:56:39
when you're in doing that you just kind of realize you know
00:56:45
we have to do more of it your i completely agree i we do it's um every year we adopt
00:56:51
either a family or we adopt teenagers that are homeless here in los angeles and i gotta tell you you told me this
00:56:57
yesterday i got to tell you it on the phone it moves me and here's why and i'm being very genuine when i say this yeah
00:57:03
okay i had two moments of of like movement in my life that comedy aside
00:57:08
when i you get the email the request list from these people what they want from for christmas and it would it would make you feel disgusting about yourself because
00:57:16
it's like socks paper towels a bath towel took up like a new towel to
00:57:23
take a shower and you get these lists and you're like this is all this kid wants
00:57:29
they don't ask for toys they don't ask for like hey i want the new ps5 it's like hey i love socks i don't even have socks
00:57:36
or i don't even have a [ __ ] clean bath towel so we didn't get him any of that [ __ ] we got him a ps5 but
00:57:43
no but but it does make you feel like oh it just it puts things in perspective it
00:57:49
puts a lot of things in check and subsequently of course yesterday i was having a long day we're shooting 15 hour days on davey
00:57:55
it's insane i shot till 3am this morning oh my god and one of the girls in one of the scenes was sitting
00:58:01
there next to me and i was kind of out of it not paying attention to because they're i'm not up i'm in my chair yeah and i'm kind of like dozing
00:58:08
out of it and she was saying oh i love the show i said oh thanks that's very cool and she's like i'm just so elated to be here
00:58:14
and i said yeah she was like a guest star for the day i said yeah that's it's awesome i'm glad that you're here you're you're doing
00:58:19
great and then it's kind of quiet and she goes is this not exciting for you
00:58:25
i said no no i just it's it's one in the morning i'm tired and we got here you know and she's like no i know i know
00:58:30
yeah no i was here and she was peppy and and she goes just just just know you're living someone's dream
00:58:36
that's what she said to you yeah and then you know what i was that that's crossing the [ __ ] line wait a minute wait a minute
00:58:42
she she meant because she's living out her dream and she's like you're living someone's dream this is this she didn't mean it as
00:58:49
like a fu to me so she walked away and did her scene and it made me
00:58:54
it made me like sit in it for me i was like that is right this is somebody's dream oh sorry it was it's somebody's dream i apologize
00:59:02
and then i walked up to i walked up to the second a.d and i said what's that girl's name yeah and he said her name and i said
00:59:08
okay good and he said why what's up and i said you know i want to i want to remember her name
00:59:14
and i want to say her name today what's her name
00:59:23
he forgot i forgot yeah i forgot and genuinely i had her fired because i
00:59:29
said don't you [ __ ] talk to a principal actor that way you guest star i know i struck her across the face and i said get me a t
00:59:36
no she was very sweet and genuinely um i didn't ask for her name but i did it did make me think oh yeah that is neat that this is someone's
00:59:44
someone's dream so it put things into perspective it's the holidays you know yeah it's tough for you to
00:59:49
absorb that kind of stuff it's just it's difficult yeah i know hello bob hi no see you didn't absorb that time i
00:59:56
don't want to all right yeah i didn't want to absorb it right now you're a block yeah wall there's a wall there's a big
01:00:01
wall up you have to let you know you know it is someone's dream it is of course it is right it's a lot
01:00:07
of people's dream and it yeah and it's like you got to go to hawaii shoot magnum p.i
01:00:14
that's incredible it is incredible but just could i just say this they flew you take it off papa
01:00:22
i'm taking my jacket off is this the closer no [Laughter]
01:00:28
it is someone's dream and you have to remember that that's fine and i believe that okay but there's no pot there's a butt
01:00:37
you know it's there it is that's the butt no it's not okay i didn't see it but i said it for you but but i don't want
01:00:44
that in it okay i won't all right but but [Laughter]
01:00:49
really i do do the same yeah you have to say but um it's not as if and and my journey is not
01:00:57
your journey correct right we have two different different journeys but there it is i know
01:01:05
it when i when when i'm on a set and i see like a girl that like her parents are actors
01:01:13
and actresses right and they're 17 right right and they this is the first thing i auditioned for
01:01:19
and i got it right right maybe for that person you know what i mean
01:01:24
it's somebody else's dream they should be [ __ ] grateful but for me it's like you know i came here you know
01:01:32
in from a different on a boat from korea it felt like that right you know it felt like i'm homeless
01:01:39
i was in la living with i'm not trying to do a boohoo story but like with 12 guys in a one-bedroom
01:01:46
apartment in silver like for years so this was your dream no i'm just saying though that like and
01:01:51
then like i crawled 10 000 auditions
01:01:57
got getting nothing right right yeah and then finally like getting to a place where
01:02:02
because of podcasting i feel like talent ability you know whatever you
01:02:07
know what i mean sure and so when i'm on the set i don't really go i when people go well this is great a dream
01:02:13
it's like [ __ ] i [ __ ] worked my way here right should i said that to her no but that's how i feel about it right
01:02:20
right it's like i don't you know it's like yeah you're [ __ ] you have a dream but it's like i
01:02:26
[ __ ] crawled my way into the situation right you earned it i worked at it
01:02:33
and you worked at it by not reading one script [Laughter]
01:02:38
i feel like i'm being ungrateful but there is a feeling of like dude i [ __ ] work to get here
01:02:44
these two things can exist are you sure a hundred percent i feel gross saying it
01:02:49
that's good but you know what i mean like that chris rock story i had to go through that right yeah i
01:02:56
had to live through just you know that i had to live through like carrying your clothes yeah not being able to eat for weeks
01:03:02
yeah right yes when i did that scene in hawaii with that lady jade woo right the lady that you didn't yeah
01:03:09
correct okay and we hung out right and there's another lady on the show named amy hill
01:03:14
okay right who she played um margaret cho's grandmother when she had
01:03:20
her show american girl back in the day right okay so i'm friends with amy all right
01:03:25
and i know right especially asian women from these are actresses from the 70s
01:03:32
80s and 90s right who had to live through being concubines right having one line right right and just
01:03:40
having these terrible roles sure that they had to [ __ ] audition for you know working at a liquor store
01:03:47
and they have broken english and they had so much more than that right you break you buy everything right so now
01:03:52
right now they're getting [ __ ] sure right there i don't look at somebody like jade
01:03:58
woo or [ __ ] amy hill and go wow you're lucky to be here you worked your ass off you went through
01:04:04
some [ __ ] difficult decades where hollywood treated like [ __ ] so when they're getting these like
01:04:10
regular lines with no accents and they're like get they get to play real people in a real show
01:04:16
right i don't i just i applaud them and i go you know you [ __ ] deserve to be here totally right yeah and you worked your
01:04:23
ass off but you're not lucky they're living someone's dream
01:04:29
that's all she's just saying you're living someone's dream how wonderful
01:04:35
you know there's there's certain things about you right you know what i'm saying right
01:04:41
yeah and you like to because i have a sore throat right now because i'm being argumentative yes and you like to throw [ __ ] hot coals
01:04:46
in it mm-hmm why do you think i do that you you like to play devil's advocate why do you think and why do you get me
01:04:53
riled up so i can have a stroke so he can kill me well it makes for a good show if you stroked out on this show one of
01:05:00
her most successful episodes i know are you kidding me this is the thumbnail would you be the thumbnail
01:05:05
would you you stroking out and me going it would be wonderful by the way make that the thumbnail me going like this and bobby yeah there
01:05:11
it is yeah um you're correct you worked very hard you deserve what you got
01:05:17
what i'm saying is perspective wise she didn't mean it any negative way she just meant you're living someone's dream how
01:05:22
wonderful yeah but a gall right just listen though you think you're all sitting there on set right
01:05:28
yeah you know and you memorize your lines right and you're and you're you're you're getting focused on the scene yeah
01:05:34
and some girl going we're just really lucky to be here you're living someone's dream i just kind of want to go yeah tick and
01:05:40
just poke her [ __ ] flick her eye i want to grab her cheeks and go oh yeah look like
01:05:47
right that's what i want to do what do you think rudy but then what you have to yeah go ahead i want to hear her because
01:05:52
she's got good perspective she's young she's smarter than us um i understand
01:06:00
you do the intention of the girl wasn't bad he just she just said that
01:06:05
you're living someone else's dream let her finish there are people there who doesn't who
01:06:10
doesn't wasn't born to be like like fortunate
01:06:16
and then yeah they're just like they're they have they dream of something better
01:06:22
and then i i don't know the girl's intention wasn't bad then the intention's not bad don't yell
01:06:29
the intention's not bad okay she comes from a good place right it's just it's one in the morning yeah
01:06:36
it's one month okay you're tired i'm very tired right she doesn't know you that well not at all you know your history or
01:06:42
anything right yeah and just to have say this bubbly thing like you know you're living someone's dream i
01:06:48
just out of nowhere yeah i mean what i would have done is i would have went oh
01:06:53
nice thank you that's right you don't put the response but then you should see she's not gonna see the other side of it
01:06:59
what is it well i'll go thank you like she won't see this part of the face
01:07:05
right right but that's what i would have done right right it's that turn of like absorb and like
01:07:13
what the [ __ ] yeah how did like how dare you no yeah you're bummed right mm-hmm but
01:07:19
then you come back around like this yeah yeah yeah let's try let's try the
01:07:26
exercise right now yeah you're on set all right and rudy is the girl yeah rudy
01:07:31
say it let's see how bobby reacts given the circumstances what do you want me to do i want you to understand what she was just saying to you and what i was trying
01:07:38
to say to you as well okay go ahead and take that into consideration with your response okay hi hi
01:07:44
well you said hi this is our fourth scene together i just want to let you know as an
01:07:50
actress i just i know your name is sally right so sadly i want to say we said you said hi to
01:07:56
me you know nine hours ago on our first scene is this how you're gonna really gonna read it yeah yeah so don't say hi
01:08:01
again it's weird sally say hi if you wanna say hi i wanna say hi hi again hi again sally here we are on set doing
01:08:08
our fourth scene hi bean okay act like come on here we go okay
01:08:13
okay let's start from the top yeah please and let me be real how i normally would do do it for real all right so i'm sitting
01:08:19
there i have my script in my hand no you no you have your phone in your hand on my side you have your phone in your hand now i always have my sides
01:08:25
crumble about looking at it okay okay that's true okay and i have to highlight certain things
01:08:31
okay all right so i'm highlighting
01:08:36
whenever you're ready hi bobby
01:08:48
do it again say the same thing
01:08:56
hi bobby hey sally
01:09:01
it must have been nice huh it's a bit of been life it must have been nice though it's a bit nice too yes it's nice it's
01:09:08
nice to meet you but it's nice to be living someone else's dream yes it sure is aren't you grateful i'm
01:09:17
so grateful that i am living off someone else's dream thank you for
01:09:22
sharing that sally okay bye bye
01:09:30
okay bye bye and i'm just then and then i'll be pretending to read my script or
01:09:36
my lines right you're not reading but the whole time yeah i'm thinking about you know i might even google her
01:09:42
to find out got her imdb like if she's worked before sally mcmullen sally mcmahon let's see
01:09:49
what she's done oh this is her first thing that's what's where it's coming and now knowing that yeah now she comes
01:09:55
back and she's now gonna ask you hey do you know where crafty is hey do you know where crafty is um yeah
01:10:03
it's right there where all the [ __ ] peanuts and the [ __ ] m m's are see right there where the table right
01:10:08
next to me yeah what happened i'm not being mean you asked me where it was and i'm just telling you it's right there
01:10:14
okay yeah yeah enjoy thank you bye you're welcome [ __ ]
01:10:21
newcomer relax you're seeing your scenes up in a minute all right so sally yeah do you have to
01:10:27
go to the bathroom yeah you should ask where the bathroom is um bobby
01:10:32
sally it's you again sally hello sally do you know where the bathroom is oh sorry i really need to
01:10:39
pee i know you do and um i just wanted to let you know real quick and it's really great to work with you
01:10:45
right but um i am a principal on the show i'm not a pa see john hey ask him hey i'm john yeah
01:10:52
john ask him but it's my first time here see where that see that door right there it says women
01:10:59
it has a symbol of a woman with a dress on it right yeah that's the bathroom oh i didn't see sorry
01:11:05
it's right right by crafty crafty right by crafty him to go to the
01:11:11
bathroom right okay can you go to the bathroom with me no no in case i get um
01:11:18
sally i'm being honest with you right now i'll be up are you a blind special needs
01:11:25
actor i mean what is going on here um i don't have my contacts on oh [ __ ] all right fine my bad
01:11:31
all right let's go thank you it's right here that's how quick by the way ask if he'll
01:11:37
wait for you can you wait for me [Laughter]
01:11:44
i get really scared yeah when i pee okay you get okay and it takes so long oh right here
01:11:50
but you know um we're about to shoot our scenes can you just take your time to hurry up it takes
01:11:55
long okay no no no this is now i'm gonna tell you what's gonna
01:12:01
happen now no no hold on let her something happen wait bobby i fell on the toilet oh she
01:12:06
fell you have to help me you have to help you have to get in there and help bob you you can't watch me though
01:12:12
you can't watch me though i can't watch you fall in the [ __ ] yeah you close your eyes [ __ ] you hey
01:12:19
i'm opening my eyes now [ __ ] you be nice she's disabled john i [ __ ] you all right okay first of all i want to say this
01:12:25
okay yeah number one who the [ __ ] is this am i being pranked yeah oh yeah yeah this is a yeah you got
01:12:31
pranks sorry sorry man this is actually the director for the next four episodes
01:12:36
and the way you treat it or we're gonna that's gonna get reported so you think that what i just did there right is mean okay
01:12:42
i'll show you okay tell me how it's done all right go ahead you now you're doing with andrew
01:12:48
hi andrew hey what's up already [ __ ] you all right that's how i
01:12:55
would do it that's how it happened i know i know ready this is how it happened ready okay
01:13:01
hi andrew hey how you doing let me get through it go ahead i love it
01:13:09
isn't it nice what's that isn't it nice to be living someone else's dream
01:13:18
yeah aren't you grateful i am i actually am sally i'm also grateful where are you from
01:13:25
texas oh nice what part of texas somewhere there what's it what city
01:13:34
what city in texas dallas oh i love dallas i also love it
01:13:40
where do you live i live here i live in los angeles you mean where i'm from yeah i'm from
01:13:46
chicago oh okay you know there's something about dallas i don't know if you've ever known but if you go if you go down 386
01:13:52
if you're on that highway on the right-hand side there's one of my favorite little stores there have you ever been to bunnam's web no no you haven't you have
01:13:58
to go you have to go give me your phone number i'll text you i'll text you the address or buttons web
01:14:04
okay what's your number 590 590 yeah 5 9 d
01:14:12
all right so it's five nine in the letter d zero five nine zero five nine zero eighteen
01:14:18
seventy eight eighteen seventy eight all right i'm gonna call you right now to make sure that's your number
01:14:25
oh you got it yeah i got it okay great show me that you got it
01:14:31
cool okay bye okay bye scene a great exchange she left
01:14:40
right she left yeah all i had to do was was talk about something that she wasn't interested in
01:14:45
okay and she left this is what you do though let's do it for a reason i'll tell you let me do it let's do it
01:14:50
let's do it for real you want to see it for real you would not do that number one i know i know let's do it you asked her right what part of texas and if she
01:14:57
didn't know you andrew santino would have known she was lying she was a liar or there's something
01:15:03
weird about how she doesn't know what city she lives in it does it did piss me off yeah so you would
01:15:08
have confronted that okay let's go let's see this is for real yeah i'll do it for real here we go give her a different state right throw him a different state she
01:15:15
can do it she knows all the states go ahead she had to learn the capital to become a citizen hi hi andrew hey sally
01:15:23
isn't it nice to be living someone else's dream
01:15:33
aren't you grateful i am yeah i am i am actually that's a very you are yes i
01:15:38
am sally it's my first time here so i'm also grateful is this your first show you've ever oh my god yeah this is wonderful huh well i got to
01:15:45
tell you you're doing a good job thank you yeah okay bye bye yeah that's what that's what happens
01:15:53
yeah let me try it see let me try it let's try it yeah let me try it wait
01:16:00
give me that hi bobby hi sally
01:16:08
isn't it nice that you're living someone else's dream what isn't it nice to be living someone
01:16:15
else's dream aren't you grateful i am nice it's nice
01:16:21
to live someone else's dream thank you you know really you know it's it's it's funny um here it goes
01:16:27
it's funny sally you know a lot of times in this rigman role in this business you know oh that's
01:16:33
right yeah you become self-centered and you it's all about me me me me and you know it's really nice
01:16:39
every once in a while just live in the moment take a deep breath and to realize
01:16:44
that we are so [ __ ] grateful to be here that's right that we're working you know and what an amazing
01:16:51
[ __ ] job we have is that not right sally are you from sally i'm from wyoming wyoming what city in my
01:16:58
own why you know you don't know any city in wyoming
01:17:12
so what state are you from sally i'm from california there we go what part of california
01:17:18
san francisco san francisco cool uh you know bobby used to play cobs in
01:17:23
san francisco you ever go to cops no oh what what comedy clubs do you go
01:17:28
to in san francisco um this [ __ ] isn't from san francisco
01:17:35
you're a liar liar let's expose her where are you really from i'm from the philippines what are you
01:17:41
doing here on this set what are you doing on this show i'm just an intern you're just an intern you're talking
01:17:47
what what we thought you why do you have sides and why are you in wardrobe yeah someone told me to do it who andrew
01:17:59
are we all high this episode this episode is specifically for people that smoke pot
01:18:07
let's say this uh i will say something i'm grateful um that you're back and you're healthy
01:18:12
and you're safe i'm happy to see you i'm happy to see both of those guys um
01:18:17
and i'm excited i'm excited for the for the holidays to come i put up my christmas lights and my house looks sparkly it's nice
01:18:23
jingle bells did you put up your lights on your house are you going to pay someone to do it pay someone to do it i'm not going to do
01:18:28
it will you pay me and i'll do it yeah we'll do that next episode when we talk about christmas but i want to talk about right now
01:18:34
will you pay me to put up your lights no i'm not putting up [ __ ] lights because you're jewish no it's not jewish
01:18:39
it's like it's pointless speaking of which um rudy's comment about jewish about who celebrates thanksgiving the next day
01:18:46
and it was canadians and she gets jewish and boy is the jewish community pissed oh
01:18:51
so mad so mad yeah they are pissed i didn't mean it
01:18:57
like that i'm kidding rudy there i'm joking people love you do you get somebody to attack her on instagram what do you mean you get her
01:19:03
first like hate her yeah if you know why why because she's here living someone's dream oh my god
01:19:08
thank you for being a bad friend
01:19:22
[Music]
