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badfriend.com. Go to badfriendsmerch.com to get to get this gear, these hats, these shirts, and
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socks for your fitsies. Get these right now at badfriendsmerch.com. You two are bad friends.
00:00:31
Who are these two idiots? A white dude and an Asian dude. You two
00:00:36
are disgusting. You two are something. We're bad friends.
00:00:41
I tell you something. I was sitting there, you know what I mean? And um this fool Andreas goes 2:30.
00:00:50
And I go, "That's my heart out." Right. You said that. No, he said 2:30. Yesterday I said I
00:00:55
need to get out of here 2:30. But the way he was saying it, you I said we're not equal. It outside of this facility,
00:01:02
we're completely equal. No, I don't think that's true either. I I don't either. I don't know why I just said that, but I think you're
00:01:08
right. I think you're right. But we'll pretend out in public that we're equals, but here you don't touch. You don't tell
00:01:15
me what to do. Okay. Okay. What about farting on on me? They never did that. Did you see that?
00:01:21
What? She go, "What about farting on me?" I didn't fart on him. Who farted on you? Did I fart on you?
00:01:27
No. Yes. Hypothetically. Okay. Oh, is that something you want him to do? Yeah. No.
00:01:33
All right. I did. I did. Why? Why did I do it?
00:01:38
No. Why call yourself out? I know. I felt guilty at that point. Okay. Yeah. I don't know if like in in a in a
00:01:43
court of law if I was in trial. We're not in court. I would have lost. Yeah. Yeah. Because it was thunderous, my friend.
00:01:49
How are you? Why do you keep asking me that? I need a water. Yeah. You sound like you sound your
00:01:54
mouth is dry. I just woke up. Are you being real? Yeah. You sound weird. Really?
00:02:00
Yeah. You're like You're like People think he's drunk in these early episodes. And I've had to comment so
00:02:05
much on the Patreon. I promise you Bobby did not relapse. What early episodes? Like when we record before
00:02:11
5:00 p.m. Yeah. Yeah. That I'm borderline drunk when I I wake up early.
00:02:17
Great. But not drunk from from the night before. Ladies and gentlemen, this is just from four years ago. Four years ago.
00:02:22
You don't understand. I reserve alcohol in my body. Right. Where do you hide? Times like this. Right.
00:02:27
A little bit in my heart. You know what I mean? A little bit of my liver and for for some reason
00:02:33
my right toe. Oh yeah. Yeah. It's like a little a flask. I like your hat. Thank you. What's wrong with you?
00:02:40
I'm good. I feel I feel great. You feel good? I feel great because I got to tell Fancy
00:02:45
today that I might not do his movie. Oh, that's so funny because just yesterday you said this morning or last
00:02:52
Yesterday go hey Bobby um Andrew doing the movie. Um are you doing it now? Right. I was like
00:02:58
I am doing there's no way Andrew said yes to what you did. You said yes.
00:03:03
I did. Are you going to do it? Yeah. But he knows there might be something else that I get to do and if I get to do that I can't do that.
00:03:09
Okay. What's the other thing you need to do? Oh, is it private? Yeah. I'll tell you off camera. But if I if it happens I told him if it happens
00:03:15
it'd be amazing. It's not a guarantee like everything. Is it golf oriented? No. No. It's a movie. Congratulations.
00:03:20
Well, brother, I don't have it. It's a It's being talked about. The idea would be nice if I get it. You're in the mix.
00:03:27
Yeah. Who knows? Maybe. Yeah. May I mean, it's is just as likely it'll
00:03:32
happen that it won't happen. That's how I feel about everything. Are there big stars in it? Uh, upcoming for sure. Okay. Like young.
00:03:39
This is the thing nowadays. Like, what is a star? I don't know. Who's the star now? Who is the star now? Tim, but he's okay. outside of and first
00:03:47
of all everyone I love Timote Timote yeah he's my favorite Timote yeah he was in
00:03:56
very good if they what is that Willy Wonka oh Willy
00:04:02
you don't know how I can interpret they heard it yeah they heard it Timote yeah Timote he keeps trying that in interviews I've
00:04:08
seen that clip he's like it's Timote and they're like right Timothy do you feel like that guy claims his name is
00:04:14
different his name is Timote no it's not go on YouTube and show the compilation of him saying Timothy the
00:04:19
right way. It's pronounced Timothy. It's whatever you'd like. I always thought I don't know if you
00:04:24
guys I thought it was Timote because of the double e at the end. It's supposed to be but it but you could
00:04:30
say Doug, Alex, Rick, whatever. I like guests like this. Remembering names is
00:04:36
So he's being sweet there. And then as he gets more famous, he gets angry. Well, he gets more honest. He goes,
00:04:42
"It's it's Timote." I think he gets sick of people doing it and he goes, "Listen, dude.
00:04:47
Look, do the first do the first white one there. See what he says there. There it is. It's supposed to be.
00:04:53
Can you say your name in French?"
00:05:05
Timote. Yeah, you're right. So, why are we calling him I apologize. Timote.
00:05:12
No, I'm going to call him Timothy. His name is [ __ ] Tim. It's a little ridiculous. Timbo. Like when Prince did the symbol, I I
00:05:19
still suck with Prince. You're incorrect. That's one of the greatest musicians of all time. I'll call him whatever the [ __ ] he wants.
00:05:24
You know your attitude right now. Let me Yeah, bro. Prince. Prince. I'm just say if you one day you call me
00:05:31
and go, "Hey yo, I changed my name." I go, "What is it?" And you're like, I'm going to be like, "I'm not calling that."
00:05:36
First of all, you would love that. Yeah. You'd go that's yo yo what's
00:05:42
Bobby? Bobby call. And then if I and then I'm going to do this and you're going to go I'm mom.
00:05:49
This is not what you're going to be called. This you Oh, here we go. Oh, I changed my name to Oh,
00:05:55
why would I have to do that then? Oh, okay. Oh, there it is. Okay. Yeah, you accentuate it.
00:06:01
What's your name then if there's a symbol? Okay. Okay. Good. Yeah. Very good. If we
00:06:06
were emojis. Okay. No, you'd be the sleepy emoji and I'd be the the angry with the [ __ ]
00:06:13
with the smoke. What I'm saying is is that maybe cuz in the old days, you know, like Richie
00:06:18
Valins. No. Who is he? I love Richie Valins.
00:06:24
Yeah. So, you see Rich, you know who Richie Valins is? La Bomba. La.
00:06:30
That song. I love the movie Laamba. He's going to correct us. Go ahead and say it. What?
00:06:38
We know, dude. Oh my god. We've done this before. He was forced to change his name because
00:06:43
he's Hispanic, dude. Right. Good. Back in the good old days. That was that. What's his real name? Richie Valins.
00:06:49
Rich. Richard Steven Valenuela. That's not that big of a difference. That's not a drastic change.
00:06:55
Oh yeah. Yeah. Richard to Richie and Valenuela to Valins. They just shortened it so it's easier.
00:07:00
I think that's true. Yeah. That's not what I'm saying is Timothy Kim. Tim Kim, right? Just stick stick with Timothy.
00:07:07
It's easier for us. Yeah. For us. Yeah. But I liked when Zach from an act didn't
00:07:12
change his last name. Can't. Yeah. It's too memorable. Yeah. Even if people [ __ ] it up.
00:07:17
Yeah. I You know what I hate? When you're going on a date with a girl and she has a really complex name. So I I've
00:07:24
done this several times where I'm driving to their house and I'm like, "Golama, Golakama, go whatever their name is." You know what I mean? And
00:07:30
just, you know, keep repeating it so that you don't [ __ ] up during the day. You got to stop dating island girls.
00:07:37
Is that what it is? That's all island people. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You're on the mainland. It's just it's it's like Mary Sarah.
00:07:43
Yeah. Or if you're dating like a woman from Africa. That's a difficult one.
00:07:49
What's her name? I mean, you're in the car, right? You match with Rya, right? And then you go,
00:07:54
"Hey, you want to go?" You go on date. You're in a car in Africa? No, she lives here now. Oh,
00:08:00
what if it's there? That'd be cool. Oh, so I'm on a um camel. You're riding on a camel? Yeah. North
00:08:05
Africa. Do they have camel still? Sure they do. Yeah. Okay. Egypt, dog. So if I was driving and I was going, okay.
00:08:14
So you get the right. Hi ma'am. I'm here to pick up.
00:08:21
It's nice to meet you, Bobby. Come downstairs.
00:08:26
Yeah. Yeah. But you know what? They have it right. Why can't we use sound effects? Dude, that's so funny. You know when you
00:08:32
call out when you're with someone, you call out their name in the house and they can't hear you. Yeah. You know, if if you're like, "Babe,
00:08:37
babe." Yeah. Yeah. In African, they're like, [Laughter]
00:08:46
"How can you not hear me?" That loud. You don't hear me? I've been clicking all morning. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. How can you not hear me? Yeah. Or you sometimes you say their
00:08:53
name in sex. Oh god. Yeah. Oh. Oh.
00:09:01
Yeah, but why can't we go to like if I have a kid? I'm I'm going to go sound effects.
00:09:06
What's your kid going to be called? Oh, well, let's all guess what that was. Go ahead. Fancy.
00:09:13
Hispanic. It looks like a lawn mower. A lawn mower? Yeah. If that's Hispanic, girl. Mone. What is that?
00:09:18
Revving an ATV. ATV. So, the kid's name is ATV. Yeah, it's either mower or ATV.
00:09:23
What about you? Look what I'm doing, though. What about you? Oh, it's a biker. It's motorcycle all
00:09:31
wrong. Let me see it again. Do it again. Waveunner.
00:09:36
No. Jet ski. That is a jet ski. You're never going to guess it. I can give you $300.
00:09:43
Give us another give us another thing. It does. Oh, nothing. You don't Something different.
00:09:48
All right. All right. Wow.
00:09:54
So, it goes and at this it does both of these things.
00:10:01
What does it does? It sure does. You It's not even funny by explanation.
00:10:08
What is it? What? What is it? It's like you're rubbing a dragon's horn. Oh my god. Oh, and it's flying.
00:10:13
Yeah, I saw that. But like when you when you rub its orange, it goes
00:10:19
right. And then it Yeah. Yeah. So you got close. Yeah, we were close.
00:10:25
Yeah, you're very close. We're very very close. Yeah. What would you name your son if it's a sound effect or my daughter?
00:10:32
That's it. Yeah, but they're going to turn out to be lazy, I think. No [ __ ] Yeah. Like,
00:10:39
is there anything like their uncle Bob? Yeah. Tell the to clean his her room.
00:10:44
Let me tell you something. You got to get in there. If I catch you. Are you high? Are you
00:10:51
high? Are you stoned, young man? Yeah. That's amazing. I remember feeling that that feeling I had in my bones when
00:10:57
my mom would say that to me when I come home. Are you stoned? Oh, yeah. And I was like, "Fuck."
00:11:02
Yeah. No. You can't do it when you're Asian. They can't tell. Are you tired?
00:11:08
Yeah. I'm tired, too. The whole family tired.
00:11:13
Yeah. Yeah. Everybody tired. Everybody tired. Yeah. Everybody is tired. Yeah. I don't know if we already talked
00:11:18
about why they're like that. The eyes. Have we talked about that? Yeah. Probably they're not. It's all an illusion.
00:11:24
You don't think my eyes are squintier than yours? No, I think it's I think it's actually illusion. Oh, it's You think it's an optical
00:11:30
illusion? I think it's an optical illusion. Absolutely. Right. It's I see it. No, look at me right now. Right. Right.
00:11:38
Nope. Looks Yeah. No, I think it's an optical illusion. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Was it supposed to be like a magic eye?
00:11:43
Can you guys even do magic eyes? Well, you do one first. When you get close and you pull away, you know those.
00:11:49
Or do you guys need even You don't need to do You just look at it and see the sailboat. No, dude. We don't have to do
00:11:54
that. We just see it. That's what I just said. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you're right. You're right. Okay, go. My mom had one. She has still has in her
00:12:00
house. It's a New York one. And it's like one of those ones where it's gigantic and you literally No one in the
00:12:07
house has ever gotten it except me. It's like on the wall. Yeah, it's on the wall. Yeah, I've seen those. Yeah.
00:12:12
I used to love Magic Eye. Yeah. Yeah. Magic is the best. And wasn't it cool to go see these at somebody's house and someone couldn't do
00:12:17
it in the group and they were like, "What do you guys see?" And you're like, "Dude, you got It's awesome." Right. But you need for me it works
00:12:23
better if it's in glass. Really? Yeah. See, I like it in the book. I can easy
00:12:28
in the book. Yeah. Because I'll tell you why glass is easier is you look at you don't look at
00:12:34
the [ __ ] painting or the the photo, right? You look at the image behind you.
00:12:39
Ah. And it appears then it automatically appears like this. I can't do
00:12:45
Well, we're too far. I have to If I'm I can't do it from this far. I can't cross my eyes. When I cross my I can do it
00:12:51
when I'm up close. Hold on. Hold on. I can't do it.
00:12:58
I can do it only when it's too far away. It's too far away. That's way too far away. Let's move on from optical. What's an optical? Oh my. My eyes are
00:13:04
You've been missing me. I've been gone. I know. You butt dialed me and I texted. I called him three times.
00:13:10
I said, "What's up?" And he goes, "Buttile, but I've been thinking of you." Yeah. So, I have been thinking about No, that made me that made me feel
00:13:16
but not not really. Okay. Yeah. I mean, because I know when I'm going to see you again. You don't know when you're going to see
00:13:22
I know. Well, cuz I went to Hawaii. Oh, let me say something. I went to Hawaii. It was the best Hawaiian trip I've ever
00:13:30
had. Why is that? In my life. Everything just worked out perfectly in terms of
00:13:35
everything. So, you want me specifics? Well, that would help the story. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I don't know much about
00:13:41
storytelling. I was worried about the shows because in Hawaii they're like mate, you know, it's
00:13:48
Hawaii. They went mate. Yeah, that's my agent. Oh, yeah. He says B a lot.
00:13:53
Yeah. No, but they say that um the tickets are bad. No, no, no, no. They first of all, I know you're lying. They didn't say that
00:13:59
and the tickets weren't bad. So, months in No, months in advance, they're like, "It's not moving." And then slowly
00:14:04
through time it got there. Yeah. Months in advance it's not moving. All right. So, go ahead. What are you doing right there, dude?
00:14:10
Nothing. and I was trying to look up your numbers. Okay. Well, no, don't do that. I can tell you what they are. Okay. So, the first show sold out and the
00:14:17
second show was almost and it's Hawaii theater. It's a Hawaii. It's a hard market.
00:14:22
But like all my openers had a blast. You went with Ramsay. Ramsey, Ariana, and that big white guy
00:14:29
Mikey. Mhm. At the store. Yeah. And then um here's the And this is not
00:14:36
funny, but um I had never met the baby before. you met Kalila's baby and you know I hung out with the u her
00:14:43
boyfriend and the baby we went to a beach and I brought I had I'm seeing somebody
00:14:49
so I brought her and then all the openers came and then her mom and the whole family was there
00:14:54
like a big happy family she it's like two worlds in just on the beach you know what I
00:15:01
mean and it was just like it was just perfect that day why you spotting
00:15:06
it's Nice. Go ahead. Rip me apart. No. Do Bobby's mom. Whatever you need to know.
00:15:12
No. No. I think that's really nice that you had that kind of I think that's really nice. Yeah. Because remember the time before
00:15:18
that, right? Not good. Yeah. A lady said you're too fat. I almost jumped off the balcony. Right.
00:15:23
That was bad. It's like it's like you know if you weigh the justosition is good. Yeah. Just position. Yeah. Yeah. So that's why
00:15:28
No, I these are nice moments. I told you this. These are nice moments. I had a nice moment. I drove I was in the car driving from Philly to the Hamptons.
00:15:35
Wow. Wow. Stayed at Timmy's house. Big Tim Dylan's house. Wow. By myself in the car all day listening
00:15:41
to music. Was he there? No, he was out here. Okay. At the house by myself. It was And then what'd you do there?
00:15:48
Uh I went and did a episode of the golf podcast and then I went out and played golf with someone out there and just
00:15:53
kind of like took it easy. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Really nice. Yeah. Yeah. And I I had the same moment you did where I was, you know, you were
00:15:59
surrounded by family and friends and lovers and I was alone and I was like, "This is amazing." You know that's the true test.
00:16:05
Being alone. Yeah. Cuz last two before I went to Hawaii. No. Yeah. No. Yes. Before I went
00:16:12
to Hawaii. Sorry. Clip it. No. No. Yes. No. Yeah. Yes.
00:16:18
Tuesday night. I literally was sitting I didn't have a spot.
00:16:23
You sat at home. So I sat there and I went, "God, I'm so bored."
00:16:29
And then um I just got in the car. I went to I went roller skating by myself. Roller skating
00:16:35
at a roller skating rink in Glendale. Wow. Literally by myself. Cruising.
00:16:40
Just cruising by myself and never done anything like that before. But then I was astounded and very surprised about
00:16:46
how comfortable I was being by myself. People coming up to you the whole time. No one. There's a couple of places
00:16:52
roller skating rings and spas. They don't do it. Well, spas out of respect. Everybody's naked. Or is everybody naked at the
00:16:57
roller skating rink as well? No. Oh, Glendale. Yes, I know. Yeah, Glendale. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bro, bro, bro,
00:17:03
skate, bro. Welcome to skate, bro. Take off your pants. Put on roller skates. Yeah, bro, bro. Bro, bro, you have to skate
00:17:10
with your dick out, bro. Bro, what if you fall? It's going to hurt. Yeah, but you know what's great? Blacks
00:17:16
and Mexicans. Slow down. Blacks. There it is. And Mexicans.
00:17:22
Yeah. You understand? I love it. Yeah. Yeah. It's not just about It's a It's a
00:17:28
lifestyle. Roller skating. Yeah, it is. It is. It's just the way, you know,
00:17:34
it's just it's it's as if they have a little bit more rhythm,
00:17:41
[Laughter] you know? I mean, it's like, you know what I mean? And I'm like like a deer on ice, you know? I couldn't get into the
00:17:48
rhythm, you know what I mean? But they're just like And also the couples, they do Oh, yeah. insane, right,
00:17:54
dude? I love it. I watch guy, there's a guy on TikTok I watch that. He like goes and skates to him and a crew of guys go and skate.
00:18:00
Yeah. Yeah, black dudes in roller rings. Oh my god, forget about it. That's That's our Pilates. M
00:18:05
That's white Pilates. Yeah. And then here's a rule I didn't know about. I slammed on my left side of my body and some guy, you know, there's
00:18:13
always that that white guy. And then I He goes, "You okay?" I go, "Yeah, I'm fine." And he goes, "Well, then give me
00:18:19
a thumbs up then." I guess in roller skating run, you just got you have to you have to thumbs up if you're okay.
00:18:25
Your arm's broken and you have to go Yeah. I mean, it's Is that a thing? I
00:18:31
don't know. I don't know. I've never even heard that before in my entire life. This is in St. Louis.
00:18:36
Uh where it's going ham. They're going off. Yeah. See? Yeah. That's it.
00:18:43
Hey. Hey. He's like And he's like, "What I like
00:18:49
about it is there's no white people there." Yeah. There isn't. Cuz they don't get in the way of these guys. They're having a
00:18:55
[ __ ] great time. See that with their female? Oh my god. That's the That's it. Woo. Yeah. Hey. Hey.
00:19:01
Yeah. I think this is going to be a my new activity. Does Does the person you're seeing does she into this?
00:19:07
Better start to be. Yeah. Here's another thing we did last night. I've never You know, I've been very
00:19:12
spontaneous lately. I have to tell you that. I like this. Right. Yeah. Um we were at Boa Restaurant,
00:19:20
right? Someone's doing well. Yeah. Yeah. Getting some of that snow beef. Snow beef.
00:19:25
Snow beef in the house. All right. And so this is over there by the beach.
00:19:30
Oh, in Melbourne. Like Manhattan Beachy area. Oh, down south. Yeah. And after dinner, we were we went to
00:19:36
Urban Outfitters. Yeah. As you would right after Boa. Thank you.
00:19:42
You go to Boa and then you need some quick silver slip-ons. For the beach. Yeah. You want to go get some board shorts
00:19:48
after Boa? [ __ ] Yeah, dude. Very funny. You Thanks. Um, it's kind of what we're doing here,
00:19:54
Dennis. walk outside and across the street was an escape room.
00:20:00
Oh, dude. I just Hold on before you finish this. Yeah. I just talked to the king in comedy of
00:20:06
escape rooms last night. The king of the comedies of escape rooms. No, the king. The king in comedy of
00:20:13
escape rooms. Like a comedian who's the king of escape rooms. Guess who it is. But is he popular in comedy?
00:20:19
Let's just tell me. Just guess who it is. Who do you think would be good at those?
00:20:25
Bill Burr. No. Good. That's a good guess. I think you'd be good. Mosha Casher. That's a very good guess. And by the
00:20:32
way, you're on the right line of thinking. His initials are BW. Brad Williams.
00:20:39
Let me tell you. I don't know how he got to some of the drawings that you need to do. He's stuck everywhere he goes.
00:20:44
Yeah. Yeah. Um, I'll tell you what, Brent Weinbach. Of course, brother. Last night, I'm not kidding. He
00:20:51
says to me, Ryan Sickler goes, "Hey yo, because of you, I got into escape rooms.
00:20:56
Now I go with my daughter and it's a great activity." And Winebach goes, "Well, I enjoy them very much." In fact,
00:21:02
dude, he's the best. And you know what he said? He goes, "This is what he does." How clever of Brent Weinbach. He he liked going so
00:21:09
much he would call the escape rooms and go, "Hey, if you guys are testing out new rooms, you should test them out on
00:21:14
me for free." So now they call Brett Weinbach. Yeah. Amazing. And he tests out new
00:21:20
rooms all over LA County. Yeah. When the company makes them, they consult Brent Weinbach on how to get
00:21:27
out. And Sickler goes, "But you don't go by yourself." He's like, "I achieved that most of the time by myself." Whoa. He probably You know what? Brent
00:21:33
probably doesn't even do hints. No, he doesn't do [ __ ] Have you been to an escape room? Yes.
00:21:38
Yeah. He doesn't. He just figures it out. We did five hints. Did this guy Brent Weinbach. He's amazing.
00:21:43
One of the funniest comics. Yeah. So, he's the king in LA comedy right now of escape rooms. No one can beat. I had no idea about that.
00:21:51
He's the best, dude. All right. So, I went last night and that's it. You took the Did you take the girl?
00:21:56
Yeah, we took We went in there and um I'll tell you, I solved four on my own.
00:22:03
Well, you're here, aren't you? Wait a minute. No, you got out, obviously. No, that's not what I'm saying. You cuz
00:22:10
I I did them in Budapest and I I was no help to the group.
00:22:15
Well, was it Yeah. I mean, cuz you you you get those like actresses, you know what I mean? Hollywood actresses, they want to take
00:22:20
the lead. Is that demeaning or No, that's a good thing. Incentive. It's a fact. It's a fact.
00:22:25
Yeah. Like, no, we got it. Now, if you said those if you said those Hollywood actresses, you know, they're terrible people, I'd be like, well,
00:22:31
that's a little Yeah, but they are. Yeah. Yeah. So, um but I was surprised that I
00:22:38
got four of them. Four? Like on my own where I didn't have to Pretty good. And then she got like five or six. Oh
00:22:45
wow. But then there was still three or four or five that we couldn't get out. It was impossible. So you didn't get out.
00:22:51
[Laughter] I wasn't laughing. I was coughing.
00:22:57
When do you When do you leave for Spain? We got to get him out of here. Let's get you out of here. Speaking of which, good transition.
00:23:03
We at Bad Friends here are going to be looking for a new Spaniard because our friend
00:23:08
is leaving for four months, three months, four months. Um shooting a movie. shooting a movie.
00:23:14
Yeah. And so, and he's got other stuff to do. He wants to go see family and stuff. So, he's going to be gone. We're going to lose a Spaniard in the booth. So, we'd
00:23:20
like to get a new Spaniard. If you were in the Los Angeles area and you want to be the Spaniard in the booth, we're taking submissions. You got to send a
00:23:26
video over why you'd be good in the booth. We'll review it on the show. Send it to Carlos in the [email protected] or
00:23:31
DM our uh Instagram. Uh DM the Instagram. But you got to be a Spaniard. These are the rules. You must be
00:23:39
not of Spanish descent. You have to be from Spain. Yeah. Not Mexico. No, Spain. Not Chile.
00:23:44
And it can't be your parents. You have to be from Spain. So, it's going to limit the options, but we need real Spaniards in the booth.
00:23:51
Male or female, by the way. Yeah, we love it. And female, just so you know, they're the best. We'll go over some stuff with you and
00:23:57
Carlos before you get in the booth with them. But yes, we will. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We We'll take all submissions. Preferred female.
00:24:02
Sorry. Preferred female. Yeah. I'm sure they don't prefer it. Carlos, you're not allowed
00:24:07
to do what? If somebody's working here, you're not allowed. Not allowed. Oh, I see what you're not allowed. Yeah, I know.
00:24:13
Penetration. Yeah, I know. Any penetration? Any sort of traction? Yeah. No concentration, no masturbation,
00:24:20
no traction at all. Is Bobby allowed? Arbitration. Yeah, he's maybe celebration. You can do celebration. Thank you.
00:24:26
I love those. Yeah, we'll give him that. I love celebration. Bluetooth, you guys. 53 years old. Sometimes I get
00:24:32
ED. Sometimes I need a miracle. And the miracle is Bluetooth. That's exactly right. Bluetooth is
00:24:37
incredible. It's not just a tablet. It's a cheat code for your crotch. Stronger, harder, longer lasting. It's like
00:24:42
someone gave your downstairs a pep talk in a gym membership. You want to get jacked in the basement. Yeah. I've had girls say, "What are you,
00:24:48
22? I'm 53." They go, "You you have sex with like a 22-year-old." Really? Girls say that to you? Yeah. And I go, "Thank you." When I'm on
00:24:54
Bluetooth, when you're on the Bluetooth, when you're on blue, they go, "What are you, a thousand years old?" Okay. Yeah.
00:25:00
Last time I took Blue Chu, my penis got sponsored by an energy drink compus
00:25:06
to do missionary, saying it was bad for the brand. That's right. This isn't a supplement.
00:25:11
It's a erection resurrection. Mhm. Bobby tried Bluetooth and now his hog has a zip code and voting rights.
00:25:20
Guys, this isn't just about performance. This is about legacy or third legacy.
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00:28:05
I can't wait to see what Andreas is like giving us notes.
00:28:10
I got a couple of guesses. Okay. So, I'm doing a scene. I'm And then you give me You be Andreas, right?
00:28:16
Say action first. Action. Yeah. Filippo. It's his god-given right. Zombie all
00:28:23
day, every day. Okay. Cut. Cut. Cut. Bobby. Bobby. If you if you're going to
00:28:28
be in this scenario to pretend that you are uh with uh Okay, good. Go. Okay.
00:28:36
Really? Cuz he's not going to be able to do. He doesn't know how to do it. Well, he also knows we're not going to listen. We're not going to listen. No. You know what I mean? Yeah.
00:28:42
Like we're all we're going to be looking somewhere else. He's going to be talking. If he said if Andrew, you play with me. Here you go. Yeah. You
00:28:47
be you be him. Okay. Action. Action. I action. Action I say.
00:28:55
Action I say. I'm boss. Action I say. I'll take my own queue. I'll take my own queue.
00:29:00
Don't talk to me like that. Who the [ __ ] do you think you are? I'm directing the movie. I quit.
00:29:06
Okay. Anyway, action. I don't know where they're coming from,
00:29:11
but I do know we need to stay here. If we leave, they're going to get us. Okay. Okay. Cut. Cut. Andrew. Right.
00:29:20
Stick to the lines. Who wrote them? I did get [ __ ] And I have Chris Pine waiting.
00:29:28
Hello. Yeah, I'm on set of this shitty movie. Yeah, send send the chopper.
00:29:33
Yeah. Wow. Goodbye. He gets a chopper. Yeah. Yeah. They're flying by helicopter from Los Angeles to Spain. It's going to
00:29:41
take a while. Yeah. It was a pretty bad deal I made in my contract. Here. Okay. Let's let's let's let's
00:29:47
write down our what we need on I gota write down what we can type it up on the screen for us. Let him type it
00:29:54
cuz we have a waiver. Not waiver. What's it called? A contract. No, not contract. We need rider. We need a rider.
00:29:59
Here's our rider for the movie. Okay. We'd like to make our writer. Give us our request. Bobby Lee's Ryder starts with what? And well, no, we can we do combo or
00:30:05
Yeah. Bobby Lee and Andrew Ryder. This is our rider. You go back and forth. Go ahead. What's your first thing that you need for the movie?
00:30:10
I need 87 sugar-free Red Bulls stocked in into a trailer. Seems pretty reasonable
00:30:16
and chilled. Not frozen, but almost getting there. What's yours?
00:30:22
I want 87 Diet Cokes, please. And a slice of lime fresh with every
00:30:28
Diet Coke. And I don't want lime that's been there. I need new lime. New lime. And also, I'd like an ice
00:30:33
maker in that in case him and I would like some ice with it because I know it gets hot in Spain in the summer. Exactly.
00:30:39
Okay. Uh my next one is um when I'm in my trailer and I want to put my feet up, I
00:30:44
don't want an ottoman. I wanna Brad little a little person. Brad a little Spanish specifically. Brad
00:30:50
Williams. Brad Williams. Okay, great. So, I can just kind of relax. And he's also very funny. We can play Uno.
00:30:56
He's good at Uno. Yeah. What's yours? Okay. I would like a back washer. I want
00:31:02
someone hired to simply wash my back. Very. Brad can do it. I need a I'm pretty tall.
00:31:07
Yep. Can't you wash? How about this? I need a back washer and I need a sixoot ladder. Please
00:31:13
just give me a sixoot ladder and a lofah and we'll be fine. Yeah. Yeah. And cuz Brad can use a lot of ladder. Very very very good. Very good.
00:31:19
It's a lot of jumping otherwise. Yeah. What else do you need? What I need is a um Okay. What I'm I
00:31:27
need I need to watch How to Train Your Dragon part two. Be you know, right when before editing.
00:31:35
That's not a good one. Erase that. Don't erase it. That's not a good one. I don't know what you're saying. I was I was following you. I followed you
00:31:40
because once you said the [ __ ] bag thing and then I'm like I think that's about it for me. No, but um All right.
00:31:45
So I I do know what I want. Okay. What kind of food do you have any food request? Exactly. Thank Yeah. I need um
00:31:52
crudeo. Hamachi crudeo. Yeah. Hamachi crudeo but like
00:31:59
a garbage can full. A garbage can. Yeah. A new garbage can garbage can hamachi crudeo in it. Right.
00:32:06
And also and a straw for some reason. Okay. And I want fresh caught fish every
00:32:12
day from the sea cuz we're right there. Yeah. But I want the fisherman to stay with us.
00:32:18
Exactly. All day and all night. I actually want him to sleep over. Yeah. I want a fish an in-house live-in fisherman, please.
00:32:23
Yeah. So, he talks to us about the fish. He informs us. He cooks it. He cleans it. Also, I mean,
00:32:29
Madrid is in the center of the country. Wait, this is in Madrid? Oh, we can't do it.
00:32:35
Wait, is it inland? It's in the center of Spain. I didn't know it was in Madrid. Did you tell me it was going to be? Forget the crude, though. Erase the
00:32:40
crude. Yeah, I can't do that. I can do the crudeau, right? You know, I I don't want a trailer anymore.
00:32:46
Got it. He can't afford that anyway. Yeah, but I want Oh, listen to what I want. By the way, you thought you were getting a trailer. It's just somebody's car.
00:32:52
I know. I know. His mom and dad's house. If you turn the AC up, you can sit in
00:32:58
the car till we're ready. Yeah. For you. I just want like a um in the cement. I want a John Wick weapons cabinet.
00:33:05
Oo. Yeah. With the coins and the You know what I mean? and the um the markers and all that stuff. Like a packet.
00:33:11
Okay. I want a John Wick packet. Go ahead. And genuinely, I want a set dog. On the heels of John Wick, I want a set dog.
00:33:17
We want a dog for the set. Dead or alive? Doesn't matter. Okay. It doesn't matter. But when it's over, if it's alive, when it's over, we do have to kill it. We
00:33:23
have to sacrifice it for um that list thing was bad. We didn't I I didn't come up with a good one.
00:33:29
What did you think? You like your list? I think it's good. I think good. Let's move on from it, then. So anyway, so you're going to
00:33:35
you're going to be together for three months, Spain. You're It's all cast.
00:33:41
Really? Every part is cast. Wow. Including the leads. Including the leads,
00:33:46
which we are not. Yeah. Um I think we're number like 18 on the call sheet. What number would we be on your
00:33:51
call sheet that day? You guys are number one. No, no, no, no. That's not how it works. Yeah. I don't I don't think you know how Hollywood works. You're always the same
00:33:57
number on the call sheet regardless of the day. What number are we? You guys are What number are we?
00:34:04
10 and 11. Who's 10? You.
00:34:11
Who's 10? It's 10 and 10. Sorry. 10 A and 10 B. No. 10 A. Andrew. 10B. Bobby.
00:34:17
Yes. Interesting. Interesting. Very, very interesting. So, you're saying I'm above him? Is that what you're trying to say? Alphabetical. No. No.
00:34:23
Alphabetical. I'm okay with that. Okay. It's only one day at work. Three.
00:34:30
Okay. Okay. And we have a do we three? But we can get it done in one. We turn into zombies.
00:34:35
You guys die by zombie attacks, but we never turn into one. That's a flaw in the script.
00:34:41
I I No, no. When you die and attack by zombies, you turn into a zombie. Exactly. Also, I asked you if I The
00:34:47
whole reason why I wanted to do it is because I wanted to play a zombie. I know, but the time commitment to do makeup and all that.
00:34:53
No, no, it's not time. You know what it is. He doesn't want to pay for the makeup. makeup in here or you I mean he's going to cut us out
00:35:00
of the movie. Oh, 100%. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Never. Could you imagine him flying us to Spain just to cut us out of his movie?
00:35:06
We What's it called again? Do we know what it's called? We can cut all this out. We can cut whatever you want out. Jabberwocki. Oh, yeah. We can't do it.
00:35:12
Yeah, we can't do it. Can we be lovers in it? Yes, that'd be fun. Hi. Good morning. I have
00:35:18
a headache. Just don't talk to me right now. I was just doing the
00:35:23
I don't know if I buy you my ganas. I think we'd really have to get in character.
00:35:28
Oh, still don't. I know. No. No. I think we should spend a couple of weeks living together before we do the
00:35:33
movie. We should do some pre- foot. You know what? Let's rent a house here in LA. Yeah.
00:35:39
For a week and let's live together and we'll film it and let's see how close we can really get.
00:35:47
I would even without the movie Mhm. I would if you really needed it.
00:35:53
I do. I would suck you off. We don't have to go through these
00:35:58
elaborate things that you want. No, it's for the fans. We could just go right to the tap if you
00:36:04
really needed me to do it. Maybe I do. Oh, then I'll do it. Thank you, God. That's real friendship, by the way.
00:36:10
And you know who didn't set that up? The director. He has no influence on these characters whatsoever. Mhm. I got to tell you something right now.
00:36:16
If we go out and do this movie for you, you're gonna owe us big time. Oh yeah. For a long,
00:36:22
long, long time. Can you imagine? You'll be under our thumb forever. Indeed to us forever,
00:36:27
forever and ever in perpetuity. How would be different than now? How would that be different than now?
00:36:32
Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Well, well, I mean, now we need you around for the show. We could fire you.
00:36:38
In fact, if we find the Spanish replacement, that's it. Yeah. I don't think like, you know, I mean, the way you talked to me over
00:36:43
there before, didn't like it. Didn't like it. And I don't think that we're that's in play right now. Okay.
00:36:50
What we're saying is is that like eat the mud. Eat the mud. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that kind of a thing. Pete the mud.
00:36:55
Yeah, I met his mones. You met McCone's what? Oh, his family was in town while I was gone.
00:37:02
Hold on. I like your I like the middle one. Yeah. Yeah. Your younger one
00:37:08
does not like me. Does not. The younger brother.
00:37:13
Yeah. His vibe toward me was weird. Dog, what is his problem with me?
00:37:20
He's more of an Andrew fan. He was pretty disappointed that he wasn't around.
00:37:25
You guys are pushing those buttons today, buddy. No, no, no. I mean, it's not even me. He just likes that style of stand up more.
00:37:32
Like more more written, rehearsed, kind of fresher. The notebook reference
00:37:38
didn't really hit for him. Did I do a notebook reference on on stage that night?
00:37:44
No, I didn't. We didn't see you.
00:37:49
They wanted to see Neil in the O.
00:37:55
Mone, dude. No, no, hold on, M. Right.
00:38:00
I wasn't ripping on your brother, right? I was giving you just an observation.
00:38:05
I know. So was I. No, you weren't. You were turning it into a [ __ ] death slam. I mean, like,
00:38:11
it was a slam. It was a slam, dude. Big slam. Top rope. Top rope. I was just saying I don't think he likes
00:38:17
me. And you're like, yeah, well, your comedy is terrible. You don't have a right. You don't have a right. take an acting class. I mean, you just What the
00:38:23
[ __ ] bro? No, he was just a little too high. Okay. Yeah. Oh. Oh, that takes away all the That takes That removes all the weight from
00:38:29
all this. Yeah, it does. If he was stoned, he's probably But does he believe that stuff? No, of course not.
00:38:36
It doesn't sound like It doesn't sound like it. I don't know about Are you being real? No, I don't care. I'm not that sensitive,
00:38:44
bro. Yeah. Yeah. What is going on? What's going on? I took you to the [ __ ] movies, bro. I
00:38:50
that was really fun. I take him to dinner, the movies when you're gone. You picked up picked up my tab for a
00:38:56
little while, right? This guy. And this is what he does to me. Well, you this is the thanks he gets.
00:39:02
I loved our movie day, Bob. Okay. I saw I saw it when I was in Philly. What? Mission and by yourself.
00:39:09
I'll say this. Okay. The beginning was terrible. Jumpy, crazy, convoluted. It looked like
00:39:15
they did that, you know, they shot the movie and then they're like, "Fuck, we need to do something with the beginning." That's really what it was.
00:39:20
Like all the throwback footage, you were You didn't feel that? Yeah, totally. Thank you. Did you feel that? 100%.
00:39:25
Yeah. I said the beginning was jumble, but once they got into his groove, it was Oh, yes. But once they found their feet, which they should have just started
00:39:30
with. Yeah. It's fine. But just start there. Yeah. Uh I love the relationship
00:39:37
uh with him and um uh Ving Ving Reigns. Yeah, that was emotional.
00:39:43
It was awesome. Yeah. And Ving Reigns is just good. He's great. He's just good. Yeah. Um, I I think my only hiccup was
00:39:50
because I tested this on my own. You know, I you know, I go diving and uh the
00:39:56
submarine scene. Okay, I did it.
00:40:02
I'm serious. I went and dove. I tried to get out of a submarine's the suction from an engine.
00:40:07
Yeah. You're gone. You're gone. You're ab and it just that that part didn't play real. Right. Outside of that, everything else was
00:40:13
fine. him droing uh 600 feet underneath
00:40:18
and being able to surface with that. Yeah, totally believable. Yeah. In in negative degree water. Believed
00:40:25
it. Uh he would literally have imploded down there within seconds. It would have been like
00:40:30
it had been like the Titanic submarine. Yeah. Or that submarine that pop. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then outside of that and the
00:40:37
airplane scene, the airplane chase with each other. Totally believable. Uh loved it.
00:40:43
very that's the part that he actually did. Yeah, some of it. Let's be honest. Yeah. Yeah, he did some of that. Yeah, he did.
00:40:49
He flew. Yeah, he flew the plane. I loved I actually really enjoyed the movie as a whole. Yeah. Um I did want for some reason him to die
00:40:56
at the end. Yeah, I really wanted that opus moment of like this is it.
00:41:02
Yeah, I'm done. And by the way, they could have left it where he may have been dead, but we don't know. Would have loved that.
00:41:08
Yeah. Sexy. Here's another thing I hate about it. They're saying this is the last one. It's not. But at the end when you do a thing where
00:41:14
everyone meets at a courtyard or whatever in Paris, we learned this from what? And Fast and Furious. Fast and Furious.
00:41:20
Really? They do that in every meet at the house in East LA in every
00:41:25
movie to let you know another one's coming. We'll be back. We'll be back. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So that I didn't like. I was like, "Fuck
00:41:32
off." Paris meet up. I did not like. Yeah. Did not like that. I And also, you don't say anything. Why
00:41:38
would you all meet in a courtyard, right, just to look at each other? Yeah, I got I have I I understand that's
00:41:45
that's Tommy. I bet my banking out that was a Tom pitch. Really? I bet you my life he went and then we're
00:41:52
all going to meet. Yeah. Yeah. But but we won't say a word. Yeah. And the director. So our characters fly all around the
00:41:58
world to get to Paris. To get to Paris, right? And then check this out. We don't even say anything. Imagine Simon Peg just shows up. He's
00:42:03
like, "My luggage is I lost my luggage. I'm sorry. So I'm late to the meet up." like one guy's flight was delayed.
00:42:09
Yeah. And then um that's the part that bothers me the most about these kind of movies. Yeah. Is there's no real world moments which
00:42:16
is correct. Which is why Brad Pitt eats the entire time in Oceans. You know that, right?
00:42:22
In Oceans. 11. Oh, 11. Brad. Oh, okay. I thought he was really a deep dead sea diver.
00:42:27
He will be. All right. Okay. in Oceans. I guess the rumor goes he wanted he he was like he
00:42:37
made a joke like when are we when are we taking a [ __ ] like when are these guys eating or sleeping or whatever and I
00:42:42
guess then he deliberately was like I'm going to eat the whole [ __ ] movie. So in every scene in Oceans he's eating something.
00:42:47
Wow. Yeah. And and apparently that was the impetus. Now this could be internet lore. Yeah. But it's a great piece of internet lore.
00:42:53
But he is eating in every scene in Oceans something. Snacking, eating, chewing, doing something, drinking. Yeah. pretty pretty pretty cool. And by
00:43:00
the way, you do notice it. Like the first time I saw it, I remember noticing, but actually not caring, which
00:43:05
is kind of wild. You're pulling scenes from other movies he's not we're not talking about. You know what? I notic he does it in all his movies.
00:43:11
Well, he doesn't eat throughout the whole film, but in Oceans, he eats in every scene. No, in Moneyball, he eats a lot, too. Eats a lot, but not every scene.
00:43:17
You know what Assaf Ali said yesterday about Brad Pitt? How funny was that phone call with you and I? That was Dude, you killed it with that
00:43:23
phone call. I was dying laughing. He had Asaf Ali on the phone cuz he was on the pod. So good. And he goes, "Did you listen to my audition for the animated show?"
00:43:31
I said, "I sure did." Yeah. He goes, "What do you think?" I said, "Two words, you stink." And then I hung up.
00:43:36
Yeah. It was amazing. I love him. Yeah. One of our favorite dude. I think I love He's so talented. Great actor.
00:43:41
Love. But he told me that he went to um that new race car. F1. F1. And he got to go to the afterparty.
00:43:49
Oh, [ __ ] So he left the afterparty. Yeah. And Brad's there and him and his you know his brother, the pharmacist.
00:43:55
As brother. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So they're just kind of going toward Brad just to say congratulations in the movie.
00:44:01
You know what I mean? And you did a great job. Choke slammed. What? What happened? No. They walk up to Brad and then all of
00:44:07
a sudden a [ __ ] security guy goes in front of the What do you want? Correct. But in my mind it's like how bold are
00:44:12
you [ __ ] to even approach the man. Yeah. You don't do that. You don't approach the man. That's what I'm saying. They should have
00:44:17
slammed him. They should have bodys slapped the guys and stepped on their throat. Yeah. He's like, "Well, it's I'm a part of He's one of those I'm a part of the
00:44:23
business." No, you're not. Yeah. You're not. No, you're not. That's a part of the business that you're not. You're not. Yeah. You're You shouldn't even been in
00:44:30
the room. Shouldn't even been there in the building, right? If I'm Okay. If I see Brad Pit,
00:44:35
this is what I do. That's Brad Pit, right? I'll go like that. Brad's here. That's it. Yeah.
00:44:40
To my brother. Here's here's what I would do. Here's I'm talking to you at a party and I'm like, "Well, and then next week we'll have to I got to go." And I'd
00:44:47
really Well, you don't want to be around that guy. The presence of that man. The presence of Every woman looks at Brad and look at you and goes,
00:44:52
Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to all of a sudden go
00:44:57
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Code bad friends for 15% off. I don't need to get hard in front of Brad. In fact, I don't want to be around Austin Butler either if we're at it.
00:47:43
Austin Butler. I'll get harder for him. I'm less threatened by the butler. Oh, really? I'm more threatened by the Brad. I think Butler would have been really
00:47:49
kind of more down to earth. Sure. Be pits way up there. Yeah. Pits. He's a god. You know, if had any brains,
00:47:54
he would have acted like staff. Then you can go up to Brad. Oh, act like staff. Go. Can I get anything? He's the right color, too.
00:48:00
Uhoh. What? No. You Sometimes you say it the true way. Sometimes it comes.
00:48:05
I think it's if I Okay, for instance, right? I've been every Chinese restaurant when I was a kid,
00:48:12
I would literally walk by a table before I go to the bathroom and every time people go, "Excuse me, can you can I get
00:48:17
the hot can I get the hot mustard or whatever?" And I'm like 14. I'm like, "I don't worry." You'd go get it, though, wouldn't you?
00:48:23
I would get it. Yeah. You know what I mean? I'll go get it. But when he when he does it, they walk away and the white people are like, "Look,
00:48:28
dude, you can ask anybody. They'll all get it for you. They feel guilty about it." Yeah. They know you don't work
00:48:33
there. They don't care. But I because I just looked the part. I wasn't being racist again. avive. I just
00:48:39
think that a lot of times Oh, I was kidding. Okay, good. Yeah, you're totally fine. Okay, thank you. But he goes up to Brad and he sees the
00:48:44
movie. Did he say the movie was good? He was amazing. But I was more stuck on the nerve of you.
00:48:50
Yeah, the nerve of that guy. Right. It's like another thing. It's like when you see like one of your
00:48:55
openers. Mhm. And then they're like, "Oh, my friend Billy's from out of town." And then
00:49:00
Billy tries to hug you. Oh, buddy. Right. Yeah. Billy, what's up, homie? Thanks for helping my friend out. You know what I mean?
00:49:06
They do that all the time. You're like, Bob, bro, what is going on? I don't know you, Billy. Yeah, I Dude, I I was on a flight in my
00:49:13
[ __ ] row. It was Nick Offerman coming back from Budapest. I love him. Didn't even I didn't even look over.
00:49:19
Didn't want to bother. I didn't want to like [ __ ] Did you say hi? [ __ ] no. Yeah, I don't know him. And also, what am I
00:49:24
going to say? Hey, I think you're the [ __ ] Yeah. And he'll go, okay. Yeah. And I'll go, goodbye. Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to bug that guy.
00:49:30
Yeah. I've done this where I'm so when I was in Budapest 2, I was with a couple of actors from Borderlands anyway. Um
00:49:38
and John Krinski was at the Nou and yeah and so I noticed John but I was like I
00:49:44
just kind of looked and I go, "Oh, there's John Krinski." But then one of my um castmates was like, "Oh, I did a
00:49:50
movie with him." And so she just got up and then she waved me over. That's the move. And then I walked over and John was
00:49:56
super close. Hey dude, I know you. You kind of thing. You have to have an invite. That's You have to have an in. And guess what? As if Brad Pitt didn't
00:50:03
give you an invite. No, no one did. Yeah. Yeah. He actually snuck into the F1 premiere.
00:50:08
Yeah. There's 20 people. Well, give me 10 people that you don't think you're allowed to approach them.
00:50:13
10? Yeah. Way more than that. I know, but just you're okay. I Okay. Okay. Let me let me let me give you some
00:50:19
names. We can go back and forth and see. No, I'm going to give you an assignment to see if they're approachable or not. Oh, okay. Okay. Are Tom Hardy?
00:50:25
No, not even close. Okay. Let's set up the scenario, though. It's doesn't matter. Not doing it. It's a party of 40 people.
00:50:31
Oh, even less. Oh, really? Yeah. So, Tom Reno, Merl Stre. Nope. Wow.
00:50:36
No chance. Yeah. Timothy Shalamé. Timotei. Timotei Shalame. Only because I know a little French.
00:50:42
Yeah. Are you being real? You would approach him? We No, I don't. I would never.
00:50:48
Tom Holland. Nope. Okay. No way. What? So, nobody Yeah, you might. Jennifer Lawrence. No.
00:50:53
Oh, wow. Keep going. You might find one. Okay, I will. Okay, I'm gonna Let me Let me look. Um Josh Peek.
00:50:59
I don't want to talk to him. I'm kidding. Okay, I'm kidding. Yeah, probably. Yeah, because I we kind of know him.
00:51:05
Yeah. Um I like to think of Oh, I got one. Um you were about to say middle famous. You You were about to say like you weren't
00:51:11
say you I know what you were doing. You're going I've done the A's. Let's get to the B's. Yeah, I was trying to I get it.
00:51:17
Okay. Because all the A's or No, I'm not going to do any of the A's unless I've worked with you, right? Or your best friend is someone I
00:51:26
know very well. William Foresight. Don't even know him and I definitely would.
00:51:31
Right. I'd go Mr. Foresight. Love you to death. Yeah. The kids from Sopranos.
00:51:38
Robert Eer. And yeah, I'd probably say hi to them. Yeah. You know why? They pod. They pod. So that's your angle in.
00:51:44
We have something very in common. Just give me a couple names. Let me see if I Let me see if you would go up to um
00:51:49
this dead Sydney Sweeney. Since I don't know who she is, I would do it. You know who Sydney Sweeney is? Sydney
00:51:55
Sweeney. You don't You know Sydney Sweeney, but I I don't know. Yep.
00:52:00
Yeah. What's she in? Euphoria. Euphoria. You never saw her. That's why I'm going up to her. Oh, yeah. Say what?
00:52:06
She's an A star and I'm going right up to her. Yeah. Okay. I'm going to do what I what should have done. I'm going to walk right up to her
00:52:12
to party and go, "How are you, ma'am? Can I do anything to eat or drink?" Yeah. As looking like me though.
00:52:18
Yeah, she's very pretty. I'm sure she's very talented. She is. She is very talented. You know what movie I had TV show I
00:52:23
hadn't never seen and I'm just I haven't been sleeping because I've been binge walking is Oxnard.
00:52:29
The city of Oxnard in California. Ozark. Ozark. Oh, so good. They could make that show in Oxnard, by
00:52:36
the way. Yeah. Similar. I had never seen it before. How did you not see that? I don't know. It just kind of flew by
00:52:41
me. It's And one night I was so bored, you know what I mean? I was like I was on Netflix. I was like, I heard this is
00:52:47
okay. You know, so I watched the first one. I didn't sleep for 24 hours. This is crazy. You're just seeing Oh,
00:52:53
this is such a good show. Burn through it. She Yeah. is a star, that girl. Well, she's been because of the show.
00:52:59
She has been for a while now. Wow. Yeah. She gets a lot of work. She was so good in that. Isai Morales. I
00:53:05
mean, I just Laura Lenny, everyone's so good. But I never Why do you Why don't you guys ever tell me to watch it?
00:53:10
It won Emmys. Everybody talked about Yeah. I just It was one of those things that just kind of flew by me. It was one of the most successful shows
00:53:16
in it. I mean, it literally was like a banger hit. Okay. Let me ask you this. Am I going to be Cuz sometimes when you watch a show
00:53:22
like Lost, it kind of fades out. It doesn't fade. It doesn't Does it fade? It's good to the last second. Yeah.
00:53:28
And the ending, I think the last season is [ __ ] fantastic. Yeah. Here's my my argument against it.
00:53:34
You I promise you, you don't know what's coming. But here's my argument against it. Okay.
00:53:41
There's no reprieve once one problem solved. It's it's the
00:53:48
stress of what they as a couple have to go through. There's never an episode like
00:53:54
you're about what season are you on? Just the middle of the second season. You're going to see some things start to
00:53:59
change. Okay. You'll see moments of we know people that know there's moments of payoff.
00:54:04
Yeah. I just cuz I at one point you want the people that you like in the show to have some wins.
00:54:10
There's some stuff in there. You'll start to see I mean because there's no wins right now. I know. But without any of this drama, how could you get through? I've done
00:54:15
this. I'm not going to lie to you. You've done what? I've watched shows where they've passed the time of of their of their like
00:54:21
moment in the sun. Yeah. And then I'm like, "Were you aware of these shows or you just like I'm going to just
00:54:26
I just put it off maybe." Yeah. Like maybe I just wasn't into it at the time. All right. So what? Give me
00:54:31
I waited for The Wire. I didn't watch The Wire when it came out. Oh wow. Oh, that was a good show. I waited. Wow. I don't know why either.
00:54:37
I think that that was a big one. And the other big one was um Friends. I've never seen an episode.
00:54:43
I've never seen an episode of Friends either. Never. Not interested. Yeah. I have one that you're going to I already said it, but people know. I know, but I'm not interested in it.
00:54:49
Yeah. Okay. It's a bunch of whites. I don't Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What else is it? That's it. Wire. Well, I've No, the Wire I watched late.
00:54:55
Uh the other one I watched late was um Stranger Things. I was that was late to that party.
00:55:00
Yeah. I didn't see that when it was coming out. Yeah, that she was huge. Yeah, I didn't I just did I just didn't give a
00:55:07
[ __ ] about kids in the suburbs and chasing ghosts. I was like, I don't know. Good show.
00:55:12
It was okay. Yeah, it's okay. Um, did you uh What's her name? Game of Thrones. You saw Game of Thrones. Drake's wife is in it. Yeah. I Yeah.
00:55:19
So, why haven't you you saw Game of Thrones? Yeah. Why can't you watch House of the Dragon? Cannot. Will not.
00:55:25
It's so good though. I felt the same way until I started watching it. No, I don't want to. And maybe like we're talking now, maybe I'll watch it
00:55:30
in a couple years. Yeah, it's a different show, but I think at one point, probably se episode seven, I'm
00:55:37
like, "Okay, here we go. Here we go." In your mind, seven's a lot. I know. When I watched um Oxnard, here
00:55:44
we go. Was in the first episode. Ozark, but I like Oxnard. You're right. Oxnard
00:55:49
is a city here in California. And you are right. The Ozarks is I thought I said Ozark. You did. Okay. I said Octnard.
00:55:56
Who cares? You know what I'm talking about. I do now. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, but it it happened in the
00:56:02
pilot. The first scene, the very first frame is is butt clenchingly cool.
00:56:09
Yeah. Shot in Chicago, Illinois. And Isai Morales, there was a point
00:56:14
where after Isai did La Bomba and some of his earlier work, Lab Bomba.
00:56:19
He was in lab bomba. Richie. Richie Valley. Yeah. Yeah.
00:56:24
Exactly. Where he would hang out at the store a lot. Really? Yeah. And that's how I know him. And
00:56:30
then I he disappeared. I like I never Right. But to see him now interesting
00:56:36
in huge things. He's such such a nice guy. Yeah. He's big. Handsome. Handsome.
00:56:41
Yeah. Just a nice person. You ever see Bad Boy with [ __ ] Shawn Penn and Isa Morales.
00:56:47
Oh my god. A violent prison movie. It's so good. The Shawn Penn of it all bothers me.
00:56:54
Go to an image. Look. Yeah. But maybe that one where they're facing each other. That's cool, dude. That movie is so good.
00:57:02
Bad boys. Violent. Cuz I like the black one. The black. Why don't you like Sean? Huh?
00:57:08
Why don't you like Shan Penn? Oh, he you know. Have you had a real world?
00:57:14
No. Okay. No. No. No. What is it then? I just don't like what I see. What do you see? His nose.
00:57:20
No. He's just like a constant harp about everything about politics and a global perspective. It's like shut the [ __ ] up.
00:57:26
Yeah. You going to change the world? Yeah. But when Katrina, he went went to the Mudra River and tried to save people.
00:57:31
Sure he did. What? What's [ __ ] You know what this is like when people when actors get on these [ __ ] high horses about
00:57:36
saving the [ __ ] world? It's the same way I feel about yesterday. I saw an environmental police officer. An
00:57:42
environment. Yeah. Look at that. That's the funniest thing I've ever seen. He's running. Come this way.
00:57:47
And she's barely walking. She's a can. Yeah. Yeah. So annoying. Wow. This, by the way, this is all
00:57:53
performative. performative, dude. This guy,
00:57:58
it's the worst. Give me another one. This is so funny. I'm trying to save black people.
00:58:05
The worst. It's such performative [ __ ] Yeah. Yeah. Dude, what are you caring?
00:58:10
Rice. Rice. Like, what are you doing? Is that like a part of like a I like how you question it like you
00:58:15
don't know. You can smell that from a mile. You know what's in there. Yeah. Well, I thought it was a bag full of aids.
00:58:21
AIDS. Yeah. Coming in with the aids. Heads up. By the way, such performative [ __ ] If the camera wasn't there, would he do
00:58:27
it? How about this? How about this? Oh my god, this is so funny, dude. Go save the world without cameras.
00:58:32
Exactly. Go do it without prop. That's exactly what it is. I think that's what it is. And also that [ __ ] little wound he has on his head. Makeup.
00:58:38
Makeup. Yeah. You know, he was in the bathroom. Oh god. I make it look. So you're right. When you
00:58:44
performative [ __ ] So when you like I try to do one
00:58:52
thing nice thing and not brag about it a day. You should that's that's wonderful. Okay. But once you say yeah I just give
00:58:59
this homeless guy money. It just takes it away from takes it away. You could say it to me your friend. I would even do that. But he's publicizing it to the world
00:59:04
like look at how much of a [ __ ] hero I am. And then he goes I heard Bill Mar he went on Bill Mars and they were going back and forth about it. You know what I
00:59:11
also don't like when you go on you go on like um Tik Tok or whatever and you'll see a guy from the Midwest. LA is a [ __ ]
00:59:18
hole. You know what I mean? Why would you know it's dying? You know what I mean? This and that. And it's like bro
00:59:24
number one. Did you see anything on fire when you live here? Mhm. Right. That's only one little section.
00:59:32
Yeah. One little of one of the biggest cities in the world. Yeah. It didn't exist. I didn't see it. Yeah. Yeah. It's like I can make an
00:59:38
argument that I'll give you why LA is better. Go ahead.
00:59:44
Right now. Not right now. Yeah. Yeah. But I can.
00:59:49
Yeah. I mean, off the top of my head, the best Korean food better than in
00:59:54
Korea. That's [ __ ] wild. And I know you said that before, but it's wild. Okay. And I just discovered a new one
01:00:00
that it blew blew the other ones away. Goblin. Gobin on on Western. I got to take you guys
01:00:07
there. Another one is uh data a new one. I want to save this on my phone. Oh, you just text me. I'll text it to you because I want that.
01:00:13
Second thing, the other night me and Andrea Jin bored. It's midnight and we
01:00:20
go, let's go to the spa. Love. Yeah. So, her and I are upstairs in the um communal one. The um
01:00:27
and we're just laugh in the clay balls. Mhm. It's like midnight. We're just laughing. You know what I mean? In the clay balls.
01:00:33
In the clay ball. You can't do that in [ __ ] Indianapolis. They don't have a spa there. Yeah. No.
01:00:38
Yeah. Another a third one. It's like when we go ugly, we go ugly.
01:00:44
And I like that. Go on. What do you mean? What does that mean? I don't want to go cuz that then I have to make references to people that we
01:00:50
know and I don't want to do that. All right. And I don't get in trouble. But when we go ugly and But when we go
01:00:55
hot, we go hot. We're hot. Yeah. Right. We're 45 minutes from the beach,
01:01:02
depending on where you live. Yeah. Right. We're a couple hours from skiing. You're two hours from skiing.
01:01:07
Yeah. Yeah. We have desert situations. Joshua Tree. We have every environment known to man here.
01:01:13
That's right. Fourth biggest [ __ ] economy in the world. And we have the beautiful And we have the mountains.
01:01:19
We have the mountains. You go want to go hike, you can go hike. Yeah. Give me a positive about LA. You're here.
01:01:24
Me, too. I I should be the number one. That's my only one that I can even think of. You're the only reason I'm still here. Another thing, comedy clubs. comedy
01:01:31
clubs from where we live. We're 6 to 10 minutes away from all three of the
01:01:37
biggest comedy clubs in LA in the in the in the world probably store is one of the biggest Yeah. literally we could just get in the
01:01:44
car 10 minutes later we're I'm on stage. That's right. [ __ ] amazing. That is right. Yeah. There's just so many things.
01:01:50
It reminds me that I like this place when I walk my dog in the morning with coffee. That's probably it for me. Truly. Really?
01:01:55
Yeah. Something about the morning sun with coffee with the dog and I'm like, "Well, this isn't everywhere." And this is like this every day.
01:02:01
Every day. Every day. Yeah. And someone's like, "Don't you get tired of that? Isn't it Groundhog Day?" Like, "Did you watch that movie?" It was
01:02:07
pretty good. Yeah. Pretty good. It's pretty cool. He got to He, you know, I got to do whatever he wants. Now, if Hawaii had three major comedy
01:02:13
clubs, I might do. That's the only place I would go. I can live.
01:02:18
I'll say this. If Hawaii had even two major even one major comedy club and no Hawaiians, I would love it.
01:02:26
Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No locals. Yeah. I do love Hawaii. I love it, too, dude. Oh, we Oh, so I
01:02:33
talked We got to do a show there. Please. No, I I'll think about it.
01:02:38
I think Here's why I don't want to do a show there. That's like where we go to escape.
01:02:44
Interesting. There's something about that that I'm like, I don't want to do that there. Interesting. It's like I I I you know, it's like
01:02:49
it's our our excuse to go though. It can be, but it's almost like it's why I don't like [ __ ] in the
01:02:56
shower. I get clean in there. I don't want to get There's certain places you've had sex
01:03:01
in. Like roller coaster. Never [ __ ] on a roller coaster. You have? Yeah. No chance. I've gotten a [ __ ] on a
01:03:07
ferris wheel. That's good. That's kind of a roller coaster. It's a roller coaster motion, maybe.
01:03:12
Yeah. Slow, but up and down. I don't know. Ferris wheel goes around. Yeah. She That was up and down.
01:03:18
That was up and down. Where's the weirdest place you ever hooked up? I'll tell you why. M what?
01:03:24
Well, tell me why you did it, too. I'll tell you I'll tell you why. What? I was my first girlfriend. Her name was
01:03:30
Jennifer. I remember. You do? No. Yeah. And so I was working at a restaurant called the Brockton Villa.
01:03:36
Love the Brockton. It's in La Hoya. I know where it is. And still there. Slammed lunches and breakfast. And I had
01:03:43
a big section that day. I'm talking about like 12 tables. I was running
01:03:49
around like a little chicken, right? And then the host comes up to me. She goes, "Your girl's here. Your girlfriend's
01:03:55
here." What? And so I run to the host and I go, "What are you doing here?" She I just bored. I go, "I know, but I'm
01:04:02
slammed." She's like, "You want to [ __ ] with me?" Like, "Okay." So she met me at the back bathroom. Like there's an
01:04:08
outside entrance when you go out. There's a bathroom at the back of the thing, right? Slam. I'm memorizing. Who
01:04:15
needs ketchup? Coffee refills, right? But I'm also going right. How fun.
01:04:20
It was so fun. In the bathroom. In the bathroom. That's got to be so fun. When you have you guys waited tables,
01:04:25
you have to memorize so much [ __ ] dude. Yeah. I hate it. That's the worst. Yeah. My brother purposely sticks Have
01:04:32
you seen my brother's thumbs before? That's disgusting. Yeah. Yeah. It's a creature. Put it in the food. He He purposely put it in the omelette
01:04:38
or whatever when he's delivering it to him. And he says, "I'll tell you why. It makes the resentment go away." And I get
01:04:45
it, right? You mean I'm serving you food? Yeah. If you treated me poor, I'm sticking my thumb in your omelet.
01:04:50
Correct. And this thumb was in my butt. Yeah. This thumb was definitely in my butt.
01:04:55
I put my thumb in my butt. You don't do that. Some people suck on their thumb too long. I've been I've never f any fingers in my butt.
01:05:02
Shut up. You've never put a finger in your butt? Someone else. I've tasted my thumb.
01:05:08
Yeah, that's that's word. Okay. Yeah, but I never have. It's not because I I don't want to admit to it. I
01:05:13
just I haven't done that. Why, brother? Don't brother me when you say butt,
01:05:19
dude. Don't brother me. You got to come to the dark side, pal. What's the purpose?
01:05:25
There's something in there. What? Like a And you got to get it out. Get in there.
01:05:31
You've Hey. Yeah. You know how sometimes in Super Mario there was like that hidden thing that
01:05:37
you had to go find? That's what's in your ass. Really? Go get that star.
01:05:44
It's in there. Okay. All right. If you had a And Mario music kicks in when you're in
01:05:49
there, too. That one.
01:05:55
Wow. When I'm jerking off and I put a finger in my butt, I go
01:06:01
[Laughter] and then when I find the spot I'm talking about, it goes,
01:06:09
"Yeah." Yeah. Wow. I'll try tonight. D.
01:06:15
I'll I'll try it tonight. You got You got me. Yeah. I can't wait. I can't
01:06:21
wait. I can't wait. Wow. I take my finger out. I go.
01:06:28
Your wife's like, "What are you doing in there, honey? I got to go to the bathroom."
01:06:34
That's so funny. Dude, tomorrow music is so funny. It's a good music, guys. Please do that at home. Yeah, do that at home. Wow. Thank you
01:06:41
for being a bad friend, by the way. [Music]
01:06:53
Woo! Yeah!
01:06:58
Woo! [Music]
