00:00:00
Hello. Hello there, mate. I'm B on Post and we're going to London, England July 18th and then July 19th we'll be in Dublin, Ireland. Tickets are available right now. We never go to these places.
00:00:11
Never go to these places. Once the show's done, you we'll come back. We know come back. Yeah. Yeah. So, you got
00:00:16
to go. You got to go. So, go to badfriend.com for those tickets. Badfriendpod.com. You two are bad friends. Who are these
00:00:24
two idiots? A white dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. You two are something. We're bad friends. Let me tell you something. You texted me today and you said, "Are you
00:00:38
mad at me?" Never. Yeah, you do. You get angry. And you know what? I've never been mad at you. Do you? You have.
00:00:45
Dollywood. Do you cancel sessions that are important to us? Yeah. Yeah. I know. That's what I'm talking about. It's an
00:00:51
inner lingering slowburn of anger. Hi, Rudy Jewels. Look what we got for you. A normal chair. Rudy. Rudy. Rudy. Rudy. Yeah. I haven't seen you since last
00:01:04
year. Do you miss me? I missed you. But you're going over to Tiger Belly. You're doing that all the time and you're
00:01:09
really breaking my heart a little bit. No, because I No, no, no, no. We embraced you. Not just Tiger Belly. Oh, yeah. She's on Trash Tuesday, baby.
00:01:19
Where the money is. So, here's the problem. I mean, and the followings and the glamour and the glitz. We gave you
00:01:26
your start. Nothing. She dropped us, dude. Well, you know what we are? We're We are the the guy that
00:01:33
that before she got famous. Exactly. And she drops us. No, she got famous. You know that the first guy that you dated?
00:01:39
I'll even do one you better, dude. Yeah, give it. Right. We're the hot guy, right, that she dated. I disagree with
00:01:45
the first part. But just hear my point. We're the medium guy. We're the medium guy. But then she got blew up and went
00:01:51
uglier. Oh, yeah. That's what I meant. That's what I meant. Interesting. Yeah. Yeah. Like I'm gonna go just I'm gonna go down. I'm gonna go downtown. What's
00:01:58
been going on, Jules? I've just been dissecting animals. God bless. With um rats and earthworms and um the crickets.
00:02:09
How are you dissecting earthworms? They're so small. You're using the tiniest little knife. Yeah. And it's really fun, especially with the rats.
00:02:15
You love dissecting rats. She went to ugly and also just ghosted the hot guy. Well, as soon as as soon as here's what really happened, but tell me the science behind it. As soon as she left this show
00:02:29
and you and Kyla broke up and she started to get away from our show. Yeah. That's when she was like, I don't need
00:02:35
to talk to Tito Andrea ever again. And she That seems to be the truth. The truth. That seems to be the reality.
00:02:42
That's okay. Did I Did I show you nothing but love for four years? Pure love. You It's the kind of love. It's the kind of love Mother Teresa gave.
00:02:48
Same. To the pores. Exact same. Yeah. Yeah. It's that kind of unhinged. No, unhinged. That's undying. Undying love. That's what I meant. Anyway, ladies and gentlemen, Rudy Julian is back. Rudy
00:02:59
Giuliani is back in the studio. Are you happy to be back? I'm happy. Who of the people here are you happiest to see?
00:03:06
Let's go in order. Happiest to least happy to see. Go ahead. First is you. Thank you. Andres. Yes.
00:03:13
Carlos. Awesome. Mone. Love that. And Bobby's sep You're separate. It doesn't count cuz she sees you all the time. We see she sees you all the time. I'm not even on the list. What you're I cannot believe it. Let me ask
00:03:25
you, lady. I see her every day. There was a fire long ago, right? Yeah. Right. Was there not a fire long ago? The great Chicago people. No, the great LA fires. Oh, the lovely people are running. You
00:03:36
know what I mean? Yeah. Running. Right. Right. I get a call. Can you harbor and take care of little jewels? Yeah. And the dogs. And I said
00:03:48
kindly, "My heart is out to you." My heart goes out. And you know what happens to that heart?
00:03:56
They pee on it. They piss on your heart. Yeah. You piss. You squat on his chest. In the yellowst you've ever seen. Wow.
00:04:02
Yeah. Jimmy Yang yellow. Wow. Yeah. That's the most yellow you can get. Right. Very bright. That is a bright
00:04:08
star. Yeah. Well, I'll say this. I'm glad that you're back. I love that you put McCon last. He is the least important of the crew.
00:04:15
Although he did have a fun time at my special and then he went and jumped in the uh what did you do? You jumped in
00:04:21
the lake. Yeah. A polar plunge. He did a polar plunge and all they all the proceeds went to So all the proceeds
00:04:27
went it was for Special Olympics. So they Here's what they do. All the money they collected they rounded up all of
00:04:33
these strong people to throw handicapped people into the lake. Handicap people? Yeah. People with Down syndrome. They threw them in the lake. That guy doesn't have Down syndrome. He does. Well, he does after he gots out of that lake. Oh,
00:04:43
yeah. Yeah. I mean, shape down syndrome, but I don't think you have to down syndrome. Shape.
00:04:49
Yeah. Yeah. The shape. Yeah. So, what? The money I donated to you went to where? I hope it didn't go to you. And
00:04:54
how much did I donate? None. Exactly. I don't believe in it. You didn't give him any money. I don't believe in the
00:04:59
[ __ ] cause. It's for Special Olympics. Go ahead. It is. It was all for Special Olympics. I said that in the text. That's why I gave you I thought he was doing a joke
00:05:12
like you were in the special I didn't read it. Well, I know you didn't read it. I just heard I just read Special Olympics. He's trying to make fun of me
00:05:17
like you're in the special. He's attacking me. So, I didn't read the whole thing. Yeah, don't put that in there next time. But you don't get
00:05:22
anything. But um Whoa. I am happy that that money went to there. So, you jumped in the river. I told you not to jump in
00:05:29
the lake. I could have just given you the money. No, it's fine. Was it cold? It was 12 degrees outside. How cold was
00:05:35
the water? Water was 33 degrees. Love it. And how long did you stay in for? No chance you lasted. No, I was under and
00:05:41
we out immediately. You went head underneath. That's smart. That's good. They It's deep enough to where you kind
00:05:46
of have to. Have you ever done a polar plunge? Have you ever jumped in a freezing cold lake or body of water? No. Did you go naked? No. I was just wearing
00:05:53
short shorts. All the Special Olympics kids were naked for sure. There's no doubt. They can't keep their clothes on.
00:05:58
I mean, I'm tired. I haven't slept. But let me say something. You're tired? It's 700
00:06:04
p.m. We did this. We moved this shoot till nighttime. You got back from San Francisco at 9:00 a.m. What did you do
00:06:11
today? Okay, so all weekend I did not sleep at all. You were doing shows. I know. Did not sleep. How I just could It was so cold and the heat was too heat. I don't like that when the heat's too
00:06:22
heat. You know what I mean? What is your perfect optimal room temperature in a hotel? Probably a 70. You know, you can set that right on the thing. I know. But
00:06:28
what happens is it's so cold through the window. No. Oh, it combines and it there's a horrific Oh, it's like when
00:06:35
the Atlantic and the Pacific top meet. It's like, no, I'm more like an angel and the demon. Oh, and they're dancing
00:06:40
in the air. I mean, and I don't really like that. Dancing in the air. Air, you know. Did Now, did you have did you have
00:06:46
a hotel with a bathtub? Cuz I have It's a combo combo. You do you see at the hotel Zoey? The Zo. The Zo. Yeah. Is that not Zoe? I don't know actually. Yeah. Yeah. I did that last time. I
00:06:57
didn't this time, but it's a combo tub shower. It's I don't like it. But you know what I do like? And it's polite.
00:07:03
Okay. Sometimes it's a combo shower bath, but if you want to take a [ __ ] shower, you have to actually go in the
00:07:09
tub and do the shower and then you get wet. But you know what? This clever [ __ ] has a little window. Oh, yeah.
00:07:16
Put your arm through. You are put your arm through and you open it. I remember that. You remember that? Yeah, that's right. And it's a clever little Zoza. Smart. I like it. I don't like the
00:07:22
shower tubs cuz I feel like I'm going to slip and that is exactly how I die. I'm already prone to slipping in bathrooms
00:07:28
and hitting my head on. Well, we've heard the story. I know. I don't need to do it in. And they have earthquakes up there. Imagine I imagine imagine it
00:07:34
happened to me twice. But but I hadn't been in back to Cobbs. That was the time that was the last time I was there when
00:07:40
is when Ken Jung attacked me in the green room. How long ago is this? Like 15 years ago. So I pointed to all my
00:07:46
openers. This is where it happened. Wow. And I positioned the chairs. He turned around like this. How nice is Cops? I
00:07:54
honestly And then I did after that I did a MySpace corporate show. Wow. With Al Magal. Wow. Ian Edwards, Natasha Logger. It's It's Ask everyone that works there.
00:08:06
When I got off stage, I started to cry. I bombed so bad. And then I went into the kitchen. Well, MySpace isn't even
00:08:11
around anymore, is it? That's how long ago it was. And I got on my hands and knees and I bowed to the gods. I'll never play her again. I've always had
00:08:17
bad luck there. At Cobbs or in Yeah. So, I haven't been there for like 15 years. God, MySpace is still active. It's still
00:08:23
active. Yeah. I wonder what my page looks like. Go to Bobby Lee on MySpace. Let's see what that looks like. I don't think I There's no way. They got a They
00:08:30
got rid of it. They got rid of it. It's gone. Your hinge profile picture. Johing profile picture. You never had my space, did you? I had my aunt made it for me, but I just didn't know what to
00:08:41
do. They didn't have internet back then, so they had to physically make it. They physically make a space for
00:08:48
this is my aunt. It's my space. Yeah. Yeah. And she sits in a little [ __ ] hole. They just go around all day around
00:08:55
Subu going, "That's my space. That's my space. That's my space." Yeah. And then do do you draw your friends, right? Your
00:09:01
top 10. You draw the faces on the walls. On the wall. Yeah. Walls with fire. It's really good. Yeah. With fire. Yeah. So, it's cool. Tell me what's been going on
00:09:07
in your life, Jules. I am interested to know. Well, by the way, look at this. Look at this. Look. Hold on. Look at my
00:09:12
finger. What's going on with you? It's been doing this. Look at him. Oh my god. He has that disease. Parkinson's. Give
00:09:18
me back that polar plunge money. What's been going on? I'm graduating this May. So, if you guys want to come. No, we don't want to come to your graduation. We I'm going. Of course we want to go.
00:09:29
What are we talking? Of course we want. We'll do. We wear a suit. What do we happen? You know what? We'll You know what? We'll dress like Men in Black. No,
00:09:36
just No. You know what we'll do? We'll get the suits from Dumb and Dumber. Oh, yeah. Can we wear those? Let's pull
00:09:42
them. We We're going to be bright. I want to wear those. I'm going to bleach my hair. I'm going to wear funny goggles. Dude, Dumb and Dumber suits.
00:09:49
Can we look at that? You and me. That's 100. We We have to wear that. We're going to dress up. That's you and me with the Are you going to really do that
00:09:55
though? I'll do it with you. Yeah, let's do it. Okay. It's on May. So, I'll get your ticket on May. Well, so school
00:10:01
worked well. Can I tell you in May? Yeah, May. Okay. So, it's in May. Yeah. And and and then is there an afterparty? I mean, I'm not going unless there's a afterparty. There's no You're not
00:10:13
throwing a graduate party? No, you have to throw a party. That's How about Boba milk tea? You love that. A little boba
00:10:19
tea party. How about You know what? We'll set it up. We'll get a boba truck. Boba Truck, Boba Milk party. Let's do that. Okay. Okay. Oh, that sounds fun.
00:10:26
Look at that. That's what we want to do. We want a party and you got to throw. And then three years from now, from the sodas, they work at [ __ ] um Chipotle.
00:10:34
That's mean. Underneath there, you just say corner flower right underneath. I'm off today. I'm off today. You're getting back. I'm getting back. You're fine.
00:10:39
We're going to hum right into it. So, um, what are you going to write on your on your cap? You have to write like an
00:10:45
inspirational quote. You know that, right? I have to write I mean, people do that. That's like a thing, right? They write something inspirational on their
00:10:50
on the top of their hat. We're all stories in the end. Just make it a good one. A Canadian. Canadian. Yeah. What? Count all of your
00:11:02
blessings. Something your dreams. I can't say uh remember your dreams. Jimmy Buffett said that. A man of many quotes.
00:11:09
It is 5:00 somewhere. I want negative ones though. You know what I mean? Create chaos like a Joker. What a what a
00:11:15
joke. What would Joker say? Incelli. What? Like into the Joker. It is so incell. Eat the rich. No. Yeah. Eat the rich. Yeah. Yeah. That's so funny to write
00:11:27
that on your cap. They're going to frisk her. Then they're going to think she's going to shoot up the graduation. I mean, you're already wearing a long
00:11:32
gown. Why would a Why would a Korean joker feel like Oh, Korean joker. A Korean joker.
00:11:48
Where we were at? Enjoy the kimchi. Enjoy a cake. Where where we were at? He poisoned the kimchi at graduation. You know what I was saying when I say rarer? Whereer? Yeah. What? Riddler. Oh, where?
00:12:00
Yeah. Yeah. Where where at? What happened? There was a Korean There was actually a Korean joker. Yeah. He was uh
00:12:07
targeting uh fe fentanyl. A feminist group. Oh, feminist group. So he was an anti anti No. activists harassed and
00:12:14
targeted by anti-feminist groups. He kept following us and shouting. We were terrified. We were in South Korea. Yeah.
00:12:20
That's insane. We support the women. We really do. Crazy. Did you get [ __ ] in San Francisco? No. I What happened was
00:12:26
this and I did one of my old school high school tricks. Oh. Oh, you want to guess what it is? I I'll talk about it. Yeah.
00:12:32
You show up to the party. There's no party. High on drugs. You go in the corner. You masturbate. You go home. No,
00:12:38
you go cute. You go cute. You go cutesy poop. Right. So, what happened was she came to a show. this. So, there's this
00:12:44
girl I met years ago on Instagram. Pretty very pretty. And then she kind of like disappeared from the DMs, but then
00:12:50
she's like, "Can I get a ticket?" Cuz they're sold out, right? So, I get her in, I do come up, you some high school
00:12:56
friends came up, then she comes up and then I invited her to dinner with the gang, you know, we go to the dinner and then I kissed that show for some reason
00:13:04
10 dudes from stage. She don't kiss 10 dudes with us. I know, but I did. 10 guys? Yeah. I just Everyone would do it. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then she she was like, "How come you don't kiss me?"
00:13:16
So in the car ride, she I made her drive by. I go, "Let's just do a kiss." Right. I went like that. We kissed like that. A
00:13:22
pack. Just a pack. And I go, "Let's do it again." Right. Oh, a little stronger pack. Yeah.
00:13:29
Let's do it again. Little Gregory pack. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Samuel French. Yeah. Yeah. You Pearl
00:13:34
Harbor, right? Right. And then we just made out the whole time in the car. Whoa. How long is a make out now?
00:13:40
In 2025. Well, here's the deal. I don't get the Well, here's why. I don't get the I don't I don't know. Yeah. No, I
00:13:48
don't I don't know. Like, because if I'm making out with my wife, it's cuz we're going to we're hooking up. You're making
00:13:53
out as a setup. I'm saying how No, I'm making up because remember I haven't been jerking off, right? What do you Now
00:13:58
you're loaded for a month, like 12 days or whatever. Pretty good, right? Not last night. Yeah, you had to. Right. And
00:14:06
then my penis went, you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Old boy Dave woke up. Yeah.
00:14:11
old boy. Oh, we need a fight. Let's go, black eye. Whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then um and when you you know when you're when you're making out with somebody, it you know,
00:14:23
your body it's just biological, right? You're just super horny. Well, that's the that's the that's the And I just you
00:14:29
know, four pumps and a [ __ ] marshmallow came out. Yeah. It was so thick. It hurt. Like it's like wood glue coming out of your pants. Oh wow. It hurt so bad. And it was just it was like
00:14:42
all the It was like a pancake batter. Yeah. Yeah. Like am I anchor? What's going on around here, dude? It was like,
00:14:47
you know what I mean? It was like You're right. By the way, I know you I know you meant pancake, but you said pancake and
00:14:52
and somehow pancake is thicker than pancakes. It is way thick. It's the thickest. I meant to say pancake.
00:14:58
Pancake batter is pancake batter is the What is pancake? So, wait a minute. Little kissy session and then never talk
00:15:03
to her again. That's it. I don't know. Maybe more. Well, you know, um, and this is a message to everybody.
00:15:14
You're high, huh? Me? Yeah. Oh, I Why you giggling like that then? Because Andreas made me laugh. Okay. So, uh, may
00:15:19
I make a message to the women? You may. Ladies and gentlemen, a message for the women. I'm ready for a relationship.
00:15:27
He wants to settle down. But the Dan has to break. I don't know what that means.
00:15:35
What? I don't know what that means. Well, I'm a poet. I know. And so, just figure out what that means. All right,
00:15:40
Hemingway, let me think. Yeah. The dam has to break means Yeah. Oh, that's right. I get it. What is it? You want a squirter? Is that No, this a part of it. Yeah.
00:15:53
Yeah. No, what I'm saying is is that I think I use the wrong terminology. I think so. I think so. Yeah. What? Your
00:15:58
penis has to break. No, no, no, no, no. Well, you do have to break them in like a new pair of shoes. Yeah. Yeah. You got
00:16:04
to break in that wiener. No. I mean, just the um the next person I like and that you
00:16:10
know I mean there's intimacy and stuff. I think I might go for it for long termyy. Really? Yeah. Yeah. But it's got
00:16:15
to be the one. It's got to be the one. Yeah. You're ready. Ready? Yeah. Because you know um some people treat me like
00:16:22
I'm still open microb. Who is that? Open microb. Who treats you that way? You mean 30 years ago? What? You mean women? Yeah. I don't treat No one. They're just always like, "Yeah, like you know I can
00:16:33
do better." Oh, that kind of mentality. And I'm like, I don't think so. I don't think so. No. In LA, you can what? You can do better than a comedian in LA. It's like the city where Leonard
00:16:44
DiCaprio lives. You can do better. Yeah. Like if you're dating celebrities, like
00:16:49
you can go way higher. He's shooting today. I could tell he came with a couple loaded. He's ready. Okay. Oh god.
00:16:55
Timothy Shamlet is like such a handsome guy. I I understand what you're saying, dude. Have you ever had Shamlet's uh uh
00:17:01
pancake batter? No. Oh, I would though. Exactly. I would. Yeah, I know. [ __ ] perfect. I would I would have it. But I
00:17:08
want to say let me direct direct to you. Okay. Um that's rude. Yeah. And what I'm
00:17:14
saying is is that um Leo is one guy, right? And he wants He looks up with so many. I know, but he wants 25 or younger and supermodel like you. That's not my
00:17:27
demographic. No, I'm I'm The girl that I made out with last night was 33. That's good. Yeah. Do you understand what I'm
00:17:33
saying? Mature. I understand. Yeah. You understand what I'm saying? So, it's like, you know, I'm not this not the same pool that we're fishing from.
00:17:38
Emperor. Yeah. What I'm saying to you is that I've seen your pool as well. Okay.
00:17:44
And I can expose some I can expose something about you as well. Right. I went out with this guy flew out all the
00:17:49
way to New York. Oh my god. Also, first of all, you're in a pool. You're in a pond. Let's be very Yeah, exactly. Thank
00:17:54
you so much. Right. Also, but also, you flew to New York to go see somebody. That's why you went to New York. I
00:17:59
wondered why you left for Well, actually, I told you before. Wait, no. You told me you were going out there, but not to see somebody. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
00:18:06
That's right. I was And I want to say like Ali Wong in her book. Ali Wong in her book, right? She says she has a
00:18:12
book. Yeah. Oh, I didn't know that. And there's a little paragraph about me. Oh, that's so nice. And then when she came
00:18:17
to LA, I didn't hit on her. I showed her around, right? I met her places. And I go, "This is where you eat. This is
00:18:22
where the good clubs, this and that." Right. I showed them the ropes. There's no sexual intention there. And you know
00:18:28
that that that's what I'm like. All my openers are women and they're all just friends. So you So what you're doing
00:18:34
right now, what you're doing is hiding in plain sight. Like Predator. Just like Predator the Yeah. Yeah. Just like Predator the movie ship station.
00:18:48
Live life in general. It can be chaotic. It can. But if you're in charge of order fulfillment for an e-commerce business
00:18:54
business, you know that its own special kind of chaos. But with ShipStation, you can count on the day-to-day remaining
00:19:00
calm. That's right. You can save hours of money every month by shipping from all your stores with one login, automating repetitive tasks and finding
00:19:06
the best rates among all global carriers. We we have merch on the ship and we get it to you thanks to Ship
00:19:13
Station. If it weren't for Ship Station, you wouldn't be able to get it so quickly and conveniently. Over 130,000
00:19:18
companies have grown their e-commerce business with ShipStation. And 98% of companies that stick with ShipStation
00:19:24
for a year become customers for life. Check it out. It's the fastest, most affordable way to ship products to your customers. Discounts up to 88% off UPS,
00:19:31
DHL, Express, and USPS rates, and up to 90% off FedEx rates. That is incredible.
00:19:37
If you own a business of any kind, no matter what the scaling is, tiny tiny tiny Tim or big biggy biggy biggy, you
00:19:43
got to be able to use them because they are going to help you. And you never need to upgrade. ShipStation grows with your business, no matter how big it
00:19:49
gets. Calm the chaos of order fulfillment with the ShipStation software that delivers. Switch to
00:19:54
Shipstation today. Hey, go to shipstation.com and use the code bad friends to sign up for your free trial. That's shipstation.com code bad friends.
00:20:01
Talkspace therapy can be costly. Okay, but talk space is affordable and in network with most insurance providers
00:20:07
and most insured members have a $0 copay. Bobby and I both like to talk to somebody. We we do and I want to say I
00:20:14
honestly believe that talkspace is the best in the business when it comes to this kind of form of therapy. Talkspace
00:20:20
therapy and psychiatry are covered by many insurance plans and employers. Most insured members have a Z co-pay. You
00:20:27
want to talk to a therapist from the comfort of your own home, your own couch, your own bathtub, your own patio, your balcony, your rooftop, your front
00:20:34
lawn, your car, your truck, your van, or your favorite little coffee shop. You can do it from all those. Hovercraft and
00:20:40
your hovercraft, by the way. They're hovercraft friendly. Talkspace is the leading virtual therapy provider. Uh
00:20:46
they make uh getting the help that you need easy, accessible, and affordable. You got to try it. Okay. As a listener of this podcast, you'll get $80 off your
00:20:53
first month with Talkspace when you go to talkspace.com/badfriends and enter promo
00:20:58
code space 80 to match with a licensed therapist today. Go to talkspace.com/badfriends and enter promo
00:21:04
code space 80 to get $80 off your first month and show your support for the show. That's
00:21:09
talkspace.com/badfriends promo code space 80. True classic. Look, I'm not somebody who likes to go shopping a lot. I I don't like to pick all these new styles and all this stuff. Sometimes I
00:21:20
like to get back to the basics, the good old basics, the tried and true. And CR true classic has that in spades. If
00:21:27
James Dean is team McQueen was still alive, that's all they've been wearing is true classic. It's a fact because
00:21:33
they're classic men. Classic men who love basic stuff. Simple, clean, spring essentials. You know, the Pima Crew, the
00:21:39
short sleeve comfort knit button-up, uh the chino shorts are great, too. And the uh 6-in swim trunks. Look, I have so
00:21:46
much of this stuff. I wear it to the gym. I wear it during the day. I wear it to a meeting. I wear it to a dinner. You
00:21:51
can dress them up, dress them down. Premium clothes at an affordable price. You can build the perfect outfit in 5 minutes or less. And everything goes
00:21:57
great together. That's the best part about Simple, Clean Classics. Free shipping on all orders, 100% perfect fit
00:22:03
guaranteed with easy returns. Trusted by over 4 million customers, and 200,000 five-star reviews. The more you bundle, the more you save. The bestselling t-shirts, hoodies, jeans, and more come in three, six, and nine packs. Get it as
00:22:15
a group. Why do you need to keep going back to find new stuff? Cut it out. Get something trusted, simple, clean, and
00:22:22
wonderful. Whether you're building up for the cold or getting ready for the spring, level up your style with clothes that actually fit right. Just go to my
00:22:28
exclusive link here at trueclass.com/badfriends to save. That's true.com/badfriends. Shop now and elevate your wardrobe today. You're jetting now because of the show. Of
00:22:40
course. Yeah. And it's great and I'm proud of you. Thank you. I do want it can end. Oh,
00:22:46
Bob. What? I Well, let the emperor speak. You know, I treat you like a pier. All
00:22:53
of you guys. Maybe. Maybe better than a pier. Yeah. Like Alex Costa. You know him? No clue. All right. He works for
00:22:59
me. What? On Tiger Belly. Alex, why? We go into Panagonia yesterday and I'm going to buy something. He goes, "Bob, can I buy some? Buy me something?" I go, "Yeah." And I go to this register and
00:23:13
I'm bringing things in and it's $600 and the thing I bought was 80. What did he buy? This [ __ ] complex winter jacket, right? You bought it, though. Yeah, you
00:23:23
did. Yeah. Yeah. I was so livid. I know, right? And what I'm saying is you guys treat me like that, too. Like we're
00:23:29
peers. I want to say this to you, right? And it's not a threat. It's an order. Right. Yeah. This is Trump and Zalinski. It's I'm Zilinski. I'm Zilinsky for sure. Oh, yeah. You attack me first. No,
00:23:41
this is Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're Putin. I like that. Yeah. Yeah. You do. Yeah. You're closer to Putin. Yeah. You're closer to Putin. So,
00:23:48
what I'm saying to you is that I love you, right? I love you, too. But it could end. Oh, wow. The dream could end. I'm aware. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You
00:23:55
too, Mone. And you, too. Me? He go me. He's He's actually been good. He's great. And also, let's be real about the Patagonia jacket. You [ __ ] loved buying that. You love that. You
00:24:09
know you did because it's a power move now. Now you have that over that kid. Remember when I bought you that [ __ ]
00:24:15
jacket and shoes? That's what I'm saying. You're going to you're going to use that as that's ch. You play chess. A
00:24:20
lot of people look at you and think checkers. Chinese. No. No. No one thinks checkers. Everyone thinks chess. Nice.
00:24:26
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or my gal or whatever. P. A lot of people look at you and they think pyal. Pow.
00:24:32
Yeah. But you're actually playing savant level street Russian opening chess. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Seriously,
00:24:38
you are because he's done this since I've known him. A castleant. You know what is and you have
00:24:44
little pawns all over the place, right? And you're the queen. You are the queen. And you've always been the queen. I'm
00:24:50
the king. No, buddy. You're the queen. I'm the queen. The queen is by far the most powerful piece in chess. All right. You should know that you play chess. I'm
00:24:56
the king. You're the king. Okay. You're the king because we're partners. Bishop. Andreas. Rook. Rook. Rook. Rook. Rook.
00:25:02
He's a He's a rook. All rooks. Oh, no. No. No. No. Pakone is a pawn. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Pawn. Pawn. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What is uh Carlos, you know, honestly. Yeah. Knight. He might be a
00:25:13
knight. Yeah. Cuz he he goes he lies. Oh, he deceives. Yeah. L L. You know what I mean? Yeah. What is she? She's a bishop. She is a bishop.
00:25:25
Angles. Angles. Angles. Angles. Precise attacked. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. This how good she is at attacks
00:25:30
and angles. Ready? Yeah. You have the floor. Your mom's a hoe. Okay. See It's an attacked angle. You little [ __ ] That was That was so
00:25:47
good. You little [ __ ] You're a good [ __ ] though. Well, so she is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're That was bishop moves there. See that? So, we have it all
00:25:54
figured out in the studio. So, he's so mad at you. You don't know about this guy. Those little things, they seep into his You know what's really funny? Look
00:26:00
at Look how red his face is. You know what's funny? You said to attack. I know. I I I could never be mad at you.
00:26:07
It really It kind of sucks. Yeah, it sucks. Like if one of the clowns did it. Yeah. I would I It would be a fight. Do
00:26:13
you remember when she was mad at us? Um that was the most heartbreaking two weeks. I broke my heart. It really did hurt my feelings. Yeah. What? It hurt my
00:26:23
feelings. What? Your mom's a hoe? Yeah. Yeah. It just settled. Yeah, it just settled. Just settled. It settled right now. I see the river as Yeah. Yeah. I'm mad. It was
00:26:35
I I do. That was good. No. Never in a million years. Wow. But you planted a seed. Congratulations. Very good. It was
00:26:40
very good. Yeah. Yeah. Very good. And you know what? Another thing you do that drives me crazy, my friend. What? Since
00:26:46
we're doing this. Yeah. Get it out. What? Why is it when I recommend you something, you never watch it? But when
00:26:53
anyone else recommends it, you watch it. Like what? Like I've been asking you to watch different things and you don't
00:26:59
watch it. And I've been telling you, see what now? notice. Did you notice? I saw. Yeah.
00:27:08
I've been telling you that. Yeah. Go ahead. I've been telling you I'm busy and I'm so tired that I can't watch any show. It's so funny. Can I kind of counteract that? Yeah. You live with me?
00:27:20
Yeah. Right. Do I have ears? Yeah. Do I hear you playing [ __ ] down there? Yeah.
00:27:29
All you hear me? All kinds of [ __ ] Asian yet 24 hours a day and she's giggling. Right. Right. Right. And I
00:27:42
recommend nothing. Nothing. Yeah. It's Tik Tok. It's different. It is. That is true. Don't ever raise your voice like that to me. Okay. Why is it different? Because you can just scroll. You don't
00:27:53
have to think about You don't have to actually like watch it. It's just scrolling. I got to I got to stop. My t
00:28:00
My Tik Tok time is bad. I I'm It consumes my life. One day, I'm not going to lie, I did six hours. I do too.
00:28:07
That's a lot. It's a lot. The whole Anytime I'm on a flight and it has Wi-Fi. Yeah. I'm Tik Tok. And that the
00:28:12
government has us. Well, they want to enslave us. Well, the good government, the Chinese government, the good, the
00:28:17
one we love. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The one we love. Yeah. Back then they did it with religion, right? Now they're doing with Tik Tok. Now they're doing it with
00:28:24
Tik Tok and capitalism, right? Get ready with me. And we're all slaves, right? And I love it. Get ready with me to
00:28:29
become a Chinese slave. I love being a Chinese slave. Me, too. We're there. Nah, guys. Ever. Did you see it? The
00:28:36
what? Nah. He recommended Na. You didn't watch that, did you? No. Na 2 is out. Okay. It made $2 billion in China. It's the greatest animation move I've ever seen. You better watch it before they make a third one. Yeah. Yeah. What did
00:28:48
you say? Did we ever What? Did you guys ever download the other Tik Tok app? Red Zone or whatever it was. Red Line. Yeah.
00:28:56
Yeah. Red Pipes. What is it? The what is it? It's the red note. Red note. So, was
00:29:01
I close? It's When I said red line, was I close? Did you hear that? It's already in Chinese. It's all in Chinese. Was
00:29:07
that close? Yeah. Thank you. It's named as Salungu, a Chinese social media app that allows users to share and discover different content about fashion, travel, and more. Similar to Instagram with a layout similar to Pinterest.
00:29:18
There was a Mongolian guy in my show and I kissed him in the lips and he had to he just came came here from Mongolia and
00:29:25
he stood up in petrified and he goes, "I don't know what going on." Like he was like, "I don't know what going on." Imagine a Mongolian guy who's like literally never been to the United States. That's his first. Look at that.
00:29:38
Look at them. They're all data from [ __ ] Goonies. All they're still dressed like that. That
00:29:44
what a peaceful life. Don't you want to do this with me, dude? Zoom in. And that's so funny. I just realized, look
00:29:49
at his hat. I realized why they like Spider-Man. Why? Look at those eyes. That's the closest superhero they have. Yeah. Might as well do it. Mongolian ch uh
00:30:01
Spider-Man. Might as well do it. There's a window open. Let's go. SP. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, and there's no [ __ ] buildings or trees.
00:30:15
Yeah. So, they're doing trees. Yeah, they're baby trees. Trees. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Trees. Spiderman. Spiderman.
00:30:22
From tree to tree. You will see. Anyway, this Mongolian Spider-Man. That is kind. It does make
00:30:29
sense when you see the mask now. I've never even thought about that. Wow. Yeah. Oh, what a cute guy. And it was
00:30:34
Chinese Spider-Man. Yeah. Asian Spider-Man is out there. That's so cute. All right. So, what else in your life, Jules? I want to hear what's going on
00:30:39
besides you being tired, which is the narrative that's been happening for the 5 years I've known you.
00:30:44
Um, I'm just living with you to Bobby because of the fires. Yeah, I have all the dogs, school, work. Well, I could
00:30:53
see you working at like Chick-fil-A and that would help us cuz I'd like to eat it more often for free. Yeah, I also
00:30:58
want to do that for free food. Well, then go get a job at Chick-fil-A. There's one near here. Well, I need a
00:31:03
visa. Oh, yeah. The Can you buy the 5 million gold visa for me? What does that mean? Trump says US will sell $5 million. Wait, sell $5 million gold card
00:31:15
to wealthy foreigners. So you have to pay $5 million. Yeah. And then you get a really easy path to citizenship. But
00:31:21
apparently it's not even that much money for a lot of people. So it's going to attract like grifters. $5 million is not
00:31:27
much money has a gold visa which is like if you invest enough money in the country you're going to. Well, I understand that. But this is just your buy outright buying a visa for 5 million. If you're an entrepreneur who's
00:31:39
invested and has work here, then it's different. But this is you just pay five million buy a house or whatever it is.
00:31:45
Wow. Yeah. But the the guy that's doing the rice on his head, you know what I mean? He can't go. If he had a dollar
00:31:51
for every grain. That's true. That is true. That's true. We're going to be selling a gold card. I love that it's a
00:31:57
gold card. Yeah. It's crazy. You have a If you have a green card, this is a gold card. I love Dude, he puts everything in
00:32:02
toddler perspective. You have a green card. This is a gold card. But do you know why he's doing
00:32:08
this? Cuz Elon Musk and the tech stuff, remember? Yeah. And you mean all the Doge [ __ ] What? All the Doge stuff. His
00:32:16
like the Doge employees that are clearing out the government. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But there's a lot of tech people from other lands and then
00:32:22
Trump goes, "I don't know if he you know what I mean." And he got he got there was a controversy. So now I think this is a way for them to get in. $5 million
00:32:30
is insane. So you're telling me enough people that's a very limited amount of people that have $5 million laying around. That's why they do it. Yeah. But I mean, but then it's like a tease. No
00:32:41
one's ever going to How many people can really do it? I mean, I guess Chinese money maybe a lot. Mhm. There's a lot of
00:32:46
billionaires in China. Yeah. Doesn't China have the most billionaires in the world? Of course. Yeah. Yeah. But they have the most people. I know. But no,
00:32:53
but even still per capita, they have the most billionaires. Really? By far. I I We don't even have that many. We have
00:32:58
the most billionaires. We do. Yeah. Oh, wow. We're the best. Holy [ __ ] There's
00:33:03
Indian billionaires. Do it. What? I am the Cody King. Yeah, that's it. I will be a billionaire. Wealth and technology, pharmaceuticals, and energy. Wow. Wow.
00:33:17
Germany, we made a lot of mistakes. Yeah. Yeah. But we're back. Yeah. Russia, of course, we stole this money and killed. They killed for all that money. Yeah. Wow. Russia will kill you.
00:33:30
Yeah. Well, 813 billionaires. Do you want that card? Really? I was wrong. I thought if we if we give What would what
00:33:36
would you do for us if we got you a $5 million gold card? And let me preface this by saying we're not doing it. Yeah.
00:33:42
Yeah. But what Well, if you were going to do it, what would happen? You would do this podcast. You're basically every
00:33:49
buying her. That's like a buy You bought a human. Yeah. That's like you would buy a human, which by the way, you know this is going to enact human trafficking for
00:33:55
sure. That's inevitable of what this is going to do. There's no way this is a positive program. Sucks. So, what Yeah.
00:34:01
What could you even offer us? If Bobby and I got a bunch of investors to give us enough money to pay for you to become
00:34:07
a $5 million gold card citizen, what do we get in return? I can I can clean. I can cook. I can wash the dishes. You've never cooked me anything, [ __ ] Because
00:34:20
you never asked. You know, kicked me one thing today. I woke up from my nap. Bacon. Were you cooking bacon? Love
00:34:26
bacon. Yeah. Yeah. bacon throughout my house. Yeah. None for me. You cook bacon and don't leave extra? No. That's
00:34:32
insane. Yeah, it's insane. That's crazy. Another thing she does is um do you not like me? Because I have even when we
00:34:38
live together, we never see each other. That's because I wake up in the morning, you wake up at night. We don't see each
00:34:45
other. There is fact. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But even when you're there, trust me, you don't leave. And what do I give
00:34:51
you? Donuts. Old fairy donuts, right? Like the pistachio. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know, get guess what you've given me a as a gift. Zero. A burden. A burden.
00:35:02
You're a burden. Trust me, light. Let me ask you something. What? Everyone in the room, when you cook bacon at home, you
00:35:09
cook the whole package. No. No. What? What the [ __ ] are you talking about? What are you talking about? You don't cook the whole thing? I'm going to eat 15 strips.
00:35:20
I know. No, but I mean what you No, what you do is you cook the whole thing and then you have you have some for the dogs
00:35:26
and then you have some in the fridge that you make later with a sandwich so it's cooked already. No. Oh, that's I
00:35:31
never thought of that. This every time I do it, you cook the whole [ __ ] You don't do this. I do
00:35:37
it. I microwave my bacon. Maybe this is some Midwest [ __ ] I've never been into a house back in the day when we were
00:35:42
growing up. You always had to have extra bacon because what she's doing is violating you. She's cooking in your home, not leaving leftovers for you.
00:35:47
It's a complete violation. It's a complete violation. Yeah, I agree. It's a complete violation. You cook the whole [ __ ] sleeve. You leave some for Tito.
00:35:53
You give some for the dogs. Give some to bacon. Tito Bobby. No, but Tito Bobby doesn't even eat like cold
00:36:01
stuff already. You heat it up. No, even then he doesn't eat leftovers once it's like Oh my god. There it is. The I don't
00:36:12
I don't I don't I don't I don't I don't. Baseline fact. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't. But don't say it out loud. Yeah.
00:36:19
Don't tell anybody that. Yeah. Yeah. No, but honestly, you cook the whole sleeve. Maybe that's in the Midwest because every house you go to, they would cook
00:36:24
the whole sleeve. You absolutely wouldn't save it. It doesn't make any sense. Also, once you've opened the package of bacon, slimy, sloppy, greasy
00:36:30
bacon, you put it in the thing, it's a thing, it's a spill, it's a thing, it's a fridge, it's a nightmare. Don't do it. Cook the whole sleeve. From now on, you
00:36:36
cook the whole packet and you go, "Taby, how you cook your bacon and you give some to the dogs or do you not feed the
00:36:42
dogs bacon?" I like I love Who Let me ask you another question. Who gives the dogs treats? You. Exactly. Do you buy
00:36:49
any treats? They already have their food. No, no, no. Yeah, she's doing Filipino rules. That's insane. Yeah.
00:36:55
Yeah. And we're in America. Get one meal a day. Yeah, I know. That's what it is. You have to understand the dog's food the dog's food is to keep it alive.
00:37:02
Treats are to keep it happy and engaging. Exactly. I just give it like once a week. What the It's insane. And
00:37:09
also, she measures the food. You only get this two pound. Whatever. She You Youigh it. You weigh it. I don't want
00:37:15
them to be fat. I don't want them to be. We have dog impetic now. Yeah, they do. They make it now. Right.
00:37:22
What's Waggoi? They have Wag. Yeah, Waggoi. Let me tell you something. Yeah, that's
00:37:29
[ __ ] up. You've got to feed dogs treats. That keeps them happy and engaged. And I trust me. And my fear is
00:37:34
when they she leaves one day with the dogs and they they look at me with sad eyes. Yeah. They go,
00:37:41
"Daddy, they do. Byebye." You know, I mean, bye-bye. Yeah. Yeah. I feel so sad about it. You know what you're basically doing? It's like when a prisoner, they slide the meal through the door slot. You're giving them regimented door slot.
00:37:53
They're not even satisfied by that. That's so they can get through the day. You got to go get some more treats. And
00:37:58
the I want to say another thing. Okay. I just Let me just say another thing. Okay. They move out of my house, right?
00:38:04
I have a dog, older dog named Remy. Yeah, I know. Right. Perfectly walking spine fine. Fine spine. Perfect
00:38:11
eyesight. The next time I see it, right, broken. Not just broken, 50 lbs less, twisted spine, legs, you know what I mean? Gray eyes.
00:38:22
Yeah. I go, "What are you doing?" You gave a dog spobifida and made it go blind. Yeah. Yeah. Give it some food. No
00:38:28
treats, dude. That's why. No, cuz he's just getting old. He's Okay, you're right. Do you ever give Do you ever give
00:38:33
the dog like peanut butter or anything like that? Some sometimes. God, dude. What the joy? You're like ripping the
00:38:38
joy of a dog. There's a pill though that have you seen that you can extend the dog's life already? I'm buying it
00:38:44
already. Get get the pill. Biohacking your dog's life. Sec Oh my god. Second drug for K9 healthy lifespan extension receives what? A grant? FDA support. You can do it already. Zoom in. A
00:38:56
developmental drug that aims to extend the healthy lifespan of senior dogs has received an acceptance by the FDA Center for Veterary Medicine. For Remy, we got
00:39:03
to get it now. The drug is called LY2. LY O2. targets age related metabolic dysfunction and is also designed to improve quality of life in K9's aged 10 years and older weighing at
00:39:15
least 14 pounds. Remy's older than 10 one pound one pound. He's 10 lbs. Yeah. Yeah. Well, then if you fed him some [ __ ] treats, maybe we could get him the LOL. He has to be 12. It says What did it say? What did it say that? It
00:39:27
said 14. You got to fatten up Remy, dude. I'm going to get him this. You got to get him that. You got to get him. You want
00:39:33
Remy to live? Yeah. We're going to fatten him up. Okay. Okay. By the way, fat and happy is the way most people like to live. They like to live like
00:39:39
that. Okay. Yeah. This is great. I want to buy this immediately. That's what a great How do you inject it though? You
00:39:44
inject it or it seems like it's a pill, right? Or it's something they chew on. Pill. Yeah. By the way, I don't know if
00:39:50
you ever have to give your dog pills. We just had to give her uh pills when we were back home cuz she was sick. Oh, no.
00:39:55
But by the way, impossible. She won't eat it and and we bury it in the treats and the food. Still knows it's in there.
00:40:00
We'll eat all the treat and then spit out the pill. Yeah. You're [ __ ] genius. She's a genius. It pissed me off. She did it every time. We buried
00:40:07
it. Then I put it then I put it in a um uh uh uh uh Oh my god. The you know the Kongchu toy, you know? Yeah. And I put it in there with all sorts of [ __ ] [ __ ] Yeah. Cleared it out around it
00:40:18
and left the bill. Yeah. Yeah. [ __ ] little [ __ ] Incredible. Shopify. Oh boy, buddy. Guess what?
00:40:25
What? Um we have an online business and it wouldn't We It's incredible because we use Shopify. That is why good. By the
00:40:33
way, nobody does selling better than Shopify. It's a home of the number one checkout on the planet. A lot of people, a lot of people go, "Hey, man, I like uh
00:40:40
aloe skims all birds, you know, and you think that's a good product, isn't it, Bob? Highgrade product." But I'll tell
00:40:47
you what, the business behind the business, and that business is Shopify. Nobody does selling better than Shopify. Home of the number one checkout on the planet. And the not so secret secret
00:40:57
with Shop Pay, that boosts conversions up to 50%. That means way less carts are going to go abandoned and way more sales
00:41:04
are going cha-ching cha-ching. If you're into growing your business, your commerce platform better be ready to
00:41:09
sell whenever, wherever your customers are scrolling and strolling on the web, in your store, in their feed, and
00:41:15
everywhere in between. Businesses that sell more sell on Shopify. That's right. Upgrade your business and get the same
00:41:21
checkout as Alo and Allirds. That's right. Yep. Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at
00:41:26
shopify.com/badfriends. All lowercase. Go to shopify.com/badfriends to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.com/badfriends.
00:41:34
Adam and Eve. I love Adam and Eve. I I'm telling you something. I'm not embarrassed by it, but um I use gadgets.
00:41:40
You love gadgets and toys and gizmos. Vibrations suction. And um I really enjoy my sexually and I get it from Adam
00:41:47
and Eve. Who wants better sex? Who wants to start having better sex immediately? That's what I was going to say. I want it right now. The best way to get
00:41:53
started is to go to adam andeve.com right now. Okay. Okay. Well, I can't go cuz we're on the show, but Adam and Eve, for those that are listening, is
00:41:59
offering 50% off just about any item, plus free shipping, which includes rush processing. Do you need those anal beads
00:42:05
now? You got to get on Adam and Eve right now. Doesn't matter how much you spend or what you buy. All will be
00:42:10
packaged and sent discreetly for free and fast so your neighbors don't know what you got unless you want to invite them over and show them. Bring more
00:42:16
pleasure and satisfaction into your bedroom. Just go to adam andeve.com and select any one item. It can be an
00:42:22
adventurous new toy or anything you desire. 50% off almost any item, plus free shipping and plus rush processing. Wow. This is an exclusive offer specific to the podcast. So, be sure to use our
00:42:32
code bad friends to get your discount. 100% free shipping and get it fast with rush processing. The code is bad
00:42:38
friends. Just enter code bad friends at checkout and get 50% off almost any item plus free shipping and rush processing.
00:42:44
That's bad friends. You know how to spell it. B- A D F R I E N Ds at adam andeve.com. Dude, welcome my dog. Good
00:42:51
to see you, bro. How are you, Pete? Good to meet you, by the way. That usually you say hi to people when you walk in
00:42:57
and say I'm Yeah. You don't walk in like you're like dearing the headlines. Your boy Pete just walked in and he and he starts like [ __ ] snooping around.
00:43:04
This is Is this your dog? Is this like one of your closest friends? Uh yeah. Yeah. Do you have Chinese eyes?
00:43:11
First of all, first of all, welcome Dave Blunts to the show. Thank you. Dave Blunts. Give him a round of applause.
00:43:16
You're a rapper. You make fant make fantastic music. The first rapper on here. Yeah. We had MGK on the show. I
00:43:23
don't know if you qualify him. Yeah. Yeah, I qualify him for sure. Okay. Very good. Yeah. He makes music in general,
00:43:28
but you do just rap. Yeah. Yeah. But you But you can see a blending of genres. Yeah. A blending of genre. And we'll say
00:43:34
for the audience that didn't get to see before, he brought his friend Pete who's who's his boy who's snooping around.
00:43:40
Yeah. Hey, I I told him to come in here first to check it out. And And you know, Pete did his job, but usually people say
00:43:45
hello. Pete didn't do that. Pete just aimlessly snuck around. And Pete's your second guy. So you had another white guy
00:43:51
before him. Yeah, that's my manager. Yeah. Where did you find this white? Uh, man, he found me. He found you. Yeah,
00:43:57
that was pretty easy to do. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Dave, so you
00:44:02
found this this guy found you. And this is your This is your new your new manager. Is he with you every day?
00:44:08
Pretty much. Yeah. Every day. Do you trust this guy? I do with my entire life. Yeah. I like to hear that. Yeah. This is who This is our manager. This is
00:44:14
Rudy. Say hello to Rudy. Yeah, Rudy. That's our manager. Rudy. She's a genius. She's a genius. She's She was the head of Sony at one point. Well, for
00:44:20
real. Yeah. Yeah. had a Oh [ __ ] This is like This is like an emotion like Yeah. Yeah. It's way down. Yeah. Thanks. How
00:44:27
did you end up here? That was good. Okay. Tell them how you ended up here. Um because I don't have a visa. She needs a visa. Yeah, she needs a visa. But how does that like with Sony? That
00:44:40
isn't She doesn't work for Sony. She doesn't work for He's [ __ ] around. Okay, my bad. We are trying We are
00:44:45
trying to raise It's his niece. We are trying to raise money to get her a visa, a $5 million gold visa from Trump. We
00:44:50
were interested to know if maybe you would want to donate some of the proceeds. Nah, man. I just got money, man. I got real [ __ ] bro. I'm not into
00:44:57
donating. What's your favorite drink? [ __ ] Uh, water, man. You see, I'm glad you guys got this for me. Water. This is
00:45:03
my new found favorite drink recently. I'm I've been on my health journey, you know? Not on alcohol or lean anymore.
00:45:10
You know what I'm saying? It's just water for now. Are you smoking weed? No, I quit weed when I was like 20. How old
00:45:16
are you? I'm 24. I was smoking from the time I was like nine to 20. Nine. Nine years old. Wow. Give us Give us your story about How many calories is we [ __ ]
00:45:29
How many When you're nine? How do you smoke weed at nine? Bro, I I used to hang around older kids. So like they
00:45:35
were like teenagers and [ __ ] So where'd you grow up? In Iowa. [ __ ] Iowa. Middle of nowhere. What? Like De Moines? No. No. It was a town called Davenport. Davenport, Iowa. Iowa. Wow. Yeah. And
00:45:47
you're kicking it with you're kicking it with a bunch of troublemaking nine-year-olds that and and somehow someone has an older brother that wants
00:45:52
to smoke weed and you're nine. Yeah. A rag tag misfit group of kids. You talk to any of these guys anymore now that you made it now that you're on? No. No.
00:46:00
No. Not that I, you know, like changed up on them. We just grew apart over the years before now. Before now. Yeah. So,
00:46:07
what is your circle very small now? Uh yeah, it it it was pretty big at one point, but you know, bunch of [ __ ]
00:46:13
happened. People change up. Uh yeah, now it's uh pretty small now. Yeah. You want to do you care to share what pe what
00:46:19
what happened in your what happened in your circle that did people uh steal from you? Uh nobody was stealing from
00:46:25
me. Um just using me pretty much using me. Oh man. I have a show that I do called Bad Friends where my partner uses me very much. You use him? Yeah, he does. I'm a user. How? He's a user,
00:46:36
baby. In what ways do you use him? Well, he does all the business and I just show up. That's right. Okay.
00:46:43
Would you fire me if that was the case? Uh, well, that's your Is he good at what he does? Very. And you're good at what
00:46:49
you do? Not really. The best. Okay. Well, then [ __ ] man. It's a give and take. It is 100%. I love you,
00:46:55
dude. Appreciate it, man. Hell yeah. Is there anything that I cannot say? You can say whatever you want. I just want to make sure I have a [ __ ] gun load.
00:47:02
Yeah. Okay. He wants he he doesn't have a gun in the building. Make sure there's no All right, cool. No, but it is funny
00:47:08
cuz I've seen a clip with him with a gun before. He shooting at me. I just want to make sure that there's no You can say
00:47:14
anything you want. Now go you. But he doesn't have a gun, though. I don't have a gun. All right. He does not have a gun. I have a little tiny yellow gun.
00:47:20
Oh, that's okay. I get it. What do you want to say that you can't that you think I just want to make sure
00:47:26
I just before I get to going crazy? You know what I'm saying? And go. [Laughter]
00:47:32
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, what I mean, you I don't I've seen some of your work. You don't say crazy things. I I say pretty
00:47:39
crazy [ __ ] in my music. Yeah. Yeah. Like what? Oh, man. Thank you. Thanks, Ruth.
00:47:44
Uh [ __ ] Uh hard nword. Uh but that's you what you you're black. Yeah. Yeah. But they still have a problem with on Twitter. Oh, they do. They have a problem on Twitter. That's Elon, huh? Elon doesn't really say the N word. I
00:47:56
don't like Twitter, man. Twitter is just like, [ __ ] Twitter, man. I don't like Twitter. Well, you can say the N word on
00:48:02
here. Go ahead and say it a bunch if you feel like it right now. Okay. Thank you. Uh I don't really want to say another put on the spot, but if I appreciate
00:48:09
that, though. Yeah. Say whatever you want, but I I I'll you know, if I feel like saying it at one point, then I will. But put on the spot right now.
00:48:16
Like three white guys looking at me. I'm cool right now. Also, that's definitely not three white guys. That's a a Mexican
00:48:22
guy on the left, a Spanish cook on the right, and a vagrant. A homeless guy. What is a vag Okay,
00:48:28
I don't I don't offend you. May May I say something? It's just an observation. Go ahead and say something, man. It
00:48:33
reminds me of remember in the Dark Knight. Dark Knight. Yeah, the movie The Dark Knight. That guy that was in prison, right? And he exploded. Look at
00:48:39
the cell phone right there. Where? In his belly. Yeah, it was sticking out. You know what I mean?
00:48:46
That that brought you back to the Dark Knight. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That that situation. Remember? Oh, he ate the cell
00:48:52
phone in his belly. Yeah. Yeah. That stupid. So dumb. Boy, I should have some observation. Yeah, you do. Yeah, you do. I'm sorry. Was that funny? No. No. It was funny. Every time he makes he makes
00:49:03
a shot at you, you have to take one back. Yeah, take one back. Go. Hit him. And I got another one for you. I don't
00:49:08
know, man. I I You're a good guy, man. You're my favorite movie ever. What is Pineapple Express? Oh, wow. I can't. You
00:49:17
You had the scene where you were in the van. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I can't. Oh, [ __ ] Is that [ __ ] Bobby Lee right there? Yeah. Yeah. I can't. I
00:49:23
had to rewind it like three times. Yeah. I can't. Now you feel bad. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right there. Wait. So, that's me
00:49:28
and Ken Jung. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. In Pineapple Express. Now, can I ask you in that movie, did you would you like more the Express or the Pineapple?
00:49:35
Probably the pineapple. Pineapple for sure. For sure. Pineapple for sure. You haven't seen the movie, have you? I don't I have no idea what it is. Okay.
00:49:41
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's it's not. We had a whole story line and they cuted the story line out. We really did. It's
00:49:46
on the Isn't in like the the DVD? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So Dave's even seen that. That's how much he loves and respects you and here you are [ __ ]
00:49:52
on him saying he eats cell phon. You know, I used to watch Mad TV as a kid. Wow. You did? Remember? Yes. I I told I
00:49:58
said eat what? You said he was eating a cell phone. No, I just The visual remind me of the movie cell phones. I don't eat
00:50:04
cell phones, man. Tell them what you eat. Tell them that you don't eat south. I don't eat. Can I guess? Go ahead and guess. Waffles. You like waffles?
00:50:11
Blueberry waffles. Yeah, I'm a blue waffle. I'm a fan of waffles. Blueberry chicken. Fried chicken. All right.
00:50:18
Everybody I love it, too. I had it last night. What else? You You do? I like the game. I like this game. What do you What
00:50:24
do you think he eats? Uh, probably Chipotle. No, I've never had Chipotle. That's You're not good at this game.
00:50:30
I've never had Chipotle. No. That is shocking to me. I I've never met someone that hasn't had Chipotle in my life. Do
00:50:36
you like tacos or burritos? No, not really. No collard greens. Yeah. Yeah. See, he's pretty good at this game or
00:50:43
not. Okay. What else? Go ahead, Bob. Take it away. Why are you coming? Memphis barbecue. Why is he covering his
00:50:50
face? Because we'll put another image. Yeah, I want a different image of me cuz I feel like what I'm saying is bad.
00:50:55
Okay. Okay. Yeah. What would I eat? Go ahead. This is your shot. Um, rice hurts, but I love it. And now now we're on the same playing field. Okay.
00:51:06
Yeah. Come over. Come on. Get get it. Get deep. Um [ __ ] Uh that's right. [ __ ] I wasn't Okay. Yeah. [ __ ] Yeah.
00:51:12
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What else, baby? Come on. Um I don't want to say the obvious ones. You know what I'm saying? Like
00:51:19
cats and all types of [ __ ] like that. You know what I'm saying? You should commit to that though. Say it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. [ __ ] it. Uh uh
00:51:25
feline cats. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hell yeah. At night he turns into one at midnight. He'll do
00:51:32
that. Yeah. This funny if you say [ __ ] up [ __ ] in your on your like in your raps and on YouTube. Mhm. But you're a
00:51:38
very reserved, calm, sweet guy in life. You don't have that. Uh I I only use it when I need to, you know, and I don't really feel like I I don't see Bobby Lee as a threat. No. Right. You know what I'm saying? I don't feel offended by
00:51:50
anything he's saying. You like me? Yeah. I'm a fan. I'm a big fan. I love you right now, dude. I'm I'm a fan for I'm
00:51:55
fanned out right now. Oh, wow. Wow. That's great. Yeah. So, um what kind of size mattress are you
00:52:04
What what type of size mattress are you sleeping on, Bobby? I feel like you sleep on a twin. Chris for about Yeah.
00:52:09
Yeah. I you know, honestly, that was rude. Honestly, I want to be honest with you. Well, we're not going to cut it
00:52:14
out. Why? Because you asked a real question. Yeah. And what I want to say to you is this. You sleep on a twin
00:52:21
mattress? That's very good. See what I mean? He's opening up. Well, it's actually like on a like a I feel like
00:52:26
you have like a like a car bed or some [ __ ] He has like a very like like kidish type
00:52:31
bed. Yeah, there we go. You know, you come in here and I'm being a child and I'm like I'm going to just state the obvious. You have child like he is a talented young man. Yes, sir. He's
00:52:43
extremely likable. I could see you on a sitcom. Me, too. Yeah. You want to act? Uh, yeah. At some point. Yeah. Let's do a scene. Yeah. Let's The title of sitcom way Different Strokes.
00:52:55
Way different strokes. Okay. or it might have a stroke. Yeah, it might have a stroke. Wait, why does he have Okay, go
00:53:01
ahead. Go ahead. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, but let's have your character name for the show. That's Sheila. Mhm. Yeah.
00:53:07
Yeah. Uh, that's Marmaduke. Okay. Hi, Maraduk. That's Marmaduke. Hello. Hello. And what racist name are you guys going to give me? Jerome. I'm Uncle Bub. Okay. You can name yourself. And you name
00:53:18
yourself. Uh, Jerome. Jerome. That's I'll take it, man. [ __ ] it. All right. I'm Uncle Bub. That's Marmaduke. And
00:53:24
that's Sheila. Mhm. Hi, Jerome. You want to have breakfast? You want to sit down and have breakfast with us? Well, [ __ ]
00:53:30
I don't know if I really want to have breakfast today. I'm already Let me stop you right there.
00:53:37
I I got a name like Jerome. I have to be I like it. That's a great choice. It's a little too Steve Harvey for me. No, no,
00:53:42
stop. Stop. Stop the process. Jerome, what'd you have for breakfast? Well, [ __ ] I already had me some grits before I came downstairs, so I just I don't really know if I'm too hungry
00:53:54
today. I made you some breakfast. Wow. Thank you. I appreciate that very much. But like I said before, I'd already had me some. It's grape flavored oimpic. Oh my.
00:54:09
Hey, Uncle Bob here. Kids, get your stuff. We can finally get out of get out of these housing projects. We got to go.
00:54:14
Oh no. This communist bastard just offered me some [ __ ] Don't call me communist. Uncle Jerome. I'm from
00:54:21
Cleveland. I think it's I think it's the Sheila. Sheila, you don't see nothing. Jerome, do you want blueberry waffles? Very
00:54:32
good. Very good. Very good. Sheila, I can't finish mine. How many did you make, Sheila? I made 10. You made 10
00:54:39
waffles. How many did you eat? One. All right. Nine for you. What? So, you want I make 30 more. All right.
00:54:48
Marma Duke, I'm I'm in a mood. You are. in a real mood. I'm sorry there, Jerome.
00:54:54
Well, listen. I want you kids to work this out when I go to work. Okay. Bye, Dad. Dad, say bye to Dad. All right,
00:55:02
Pops. I'll see you later. Byebye, Pops. I love you the most, Jamal. You know that. Thank you. But my name is Jerome.
00:55:09
Well, in this house, you're Jamal. You get your own house. You can call yourself whatever you want. Just leave,
00:55:14
Dad. Leave. I love you. We're going to get ready for school. Bye, Dad. I love you, you [ __ ] And then when he
00:55:20
leaves, I change to my real voice. I'm not going for none of that [ __ ] no more. Yeah. Well, I'm I'm tired of you using
00:55:25
your fat as a blanket. [Laughter] I'm tired of you peeing in mason jars and hiding it in your bedroom. It stinks up there. Yeah. You know what, Jerome? I love you. [ __ ] you.
00:55:41
And then the credits go down. Credit. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. To be continued. Call ABC. Yeah, I think there's a show
00:55:47
somewhere. We can get that. Sony. Call your friends at Sony. Show somewhere though there. Dave, what's the deal? Are
00:55:52
you on tour? I'm getting ready to go on tour. You are? Yes. And I'm going I'm going It's going to be the best tour
00:55:57
ever. Who Who opens for you on tour? We're still setting all that [ __ ] up. But yeah, I'm going on tour April 12th.
00:56:05
It begins April 12th. Yeah. Englewood. You start here in Englewood, California. No. No. I started in Phoenix, I believe.
00:56:12
Phoenix. There we go. Dallas. Wow. So, um, could we come to it? Do we get comped or backstage? All that stuff.
00:56:19
Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Uh, [ __ ] You want to come to the Santa Ana show? Yeah, Santa Ana. We should do that in May.
00:56:24
Yeah, let's go to the Santa Ana show, dude. Hell yeah. That'll be fun. What's a consolation room? Are you selling good
00:56:30
tickets right now, huh? You're killing it. That shit's selling pretty good. Yeah, they're they're coming cuz they want to see the crowd surf. Yeah, they
00:56:35
want to they want to see you crowd surfing. Yeah, I I announced that I'm going to be crowd surfing at one uh city on the tour. I don't know what city it
00:56:42
is. It's just going to speak to me in the moment. I got to be honest. I don't know. Why is he laughing? I'm not too sure what I said. That's funny. Well,
00:56:48
no. He Well, what's what's funny? No, no, no. Well, boy, I sure have some bad friends. Very good. Very good. That's
00:56:55
the name of the show. I love you, dude. Signs right there. I do think I do think I am curious of how the mechanics are
00:57:01
going to work of what? On on you on you surfing in a crowd. Uh yeah, man. I mean, [ __ ] my fans are going to hold me
00:57:08
up as I dive into the crowd and you're going to jump from the stage. So, who are your friends? Triple H, The Rock,
00:57:16
bodybuilders. I mean, I mean, I hope that the Rock there. I mean, who's there, dude? I mean, Dave, let me listen. My fans like a 12-year-old skinny kid. What the [ __ ]
00:57:32
Listen, the [ __ ] It's kind of like when, you know, a mom can move a car. You know what I'm saying? That Listen,
00:57:38
my fans I don't have [ __ ] ass fans, bro. Okay. My fans are like really strong minded and so I feel like that'll
00:57:46
just transfer over. Okay. So to physical strength tell me this. Have you ever crowd surfed before? No. No. Hell no.
00:57:52
Okay. But you you are going to do at one of these shows, Andrew. Yeah. Talk him out of it. What is he? Okay. What is he
00:57:58
saying? He's asking me to talk you out of doing I didn't say that. Say that. What the [ __ ] That's crazy. He said talk him out of it. No. No. There's no
00:58:05
talking me out of it. He's saying please. Dead serious. Please talk him out of it. Someone's going to die. Someone's gonna die is what he's saying. They can hear you in the mic now. Dave,
00:58:12
you're going to pick a show to do this. You're going to crowd surf. You're going to jump from the stage. Yes. Yes, sir. Wow. That brave man. I mean, I I I don't
00:58:18
want to crowd surf. I'm afraid I break a neck. You don't want him to do What is he What is he like Why is he talking to
00:58:24
you and and not because I I'll tell you why. Can I tell you why? Go ahead. Go ahead. Hi, bud. Um Hi, bud. I feel like
00:58:32
I'm being the mean one. Yeah. And he's playing the nice guy. It's good cop, bad cop. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I feel like
00:58:38
the things I'm saying I'm going to get [ __ ] lynched for. Not lynched. Lynched. Wow. Okay. Right. Crucif. 2
00:58:45
days after Black History Month. Crucified. Crucified for. Honestly, I swear to God that wasn't a thing.
00:58:51
Interesting choice of words. Yeah. Yeah. I swear to God that wasn't a thing. I swear to God. I swear to God, dude. Oh, I get it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to
00:58:57
be crucified for and you're going to be the saint. Here's what it is. Yeah. You feel like
00:59:03
societyy's going to move you to the back of the bus. That that better better than Lynch.
00:59:10
That's better than Lynch. That's what I feel like. Yeah. Yeah. That was a good one. But even better than Lynch. You feel like the whole country is going to see this and they're going to sick dogs
00:59:16
on you. Is that what you're saying? Yeah. That's what I'm saying. You feel like people are going to watch this show. Yeah. And
00:59:22
go, Andrew seems to be getting along with Dave. Yeah. Bobby, we should hit with a with a [ __ ] fire hose. Yes.
00:59:28
These are all these are all uh things that have happened to black people. What? Yeah, that that's mean that you know what it's funny. It's funny, bro. I'm not a soft ass [ __ ] I know you're not. And I'll tell you something, right? This
00:59:43
is serious business. We're talking about serious business. Okay, let's get to the serious business. And what I'm saying to you is that you mean the civil rights
00:59:48
movement. You know, it was what about it? What you just said? The civil rights. What about it? What I'm
00:59:54
saying is is that you I mean we fought hard. You I mean who is you? What? Who is we? What were you doing during this? was he was he was actually a yellow panther. He was around back then. Yellow
01:00:06
panther. Okay. Well, I did my own speech. Okay. You want to hear it? Nate speech. No. You want to hear my You want
01:00:12
to hear my speech? Okay. Go ahead. I had a dreaming that white people would do their own
01:00:18
laundry. I had my own speech that night. Okay. That night. What night? When when what
01:00:25
specific night? You know, when Trump the civil rights movement was not just one night. The dark night.
01:00:30
I feel like he thinks it was just one singular night. It was the Dark Knight. Okay. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So, I when Martin
01:00:36
Luther had this great speech, I did my own speech. Okay. At a Chinese restaurant. Yeah. It was four people there. But, you know, I mean, it was it
01:00:43
moved those four. Yeah. Yeah. It really did. Okay. I'm telling you, he's we're we're bonding worlds here. We're bonding. We're like, do you prefer like let's say you and I went in a war?
01:00:55
Excellent. Okay. Go ahead. Go ahead. Say you and I went in a war. Okay. We're in a war. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um,
01:01:02
I'm fine. Wait, before I can Can I just say something because you mentioned war? Yeah. Did you know that now they're not
01:01:07
gonna allow transgender people in the military? That's pretty crazy. That's cra How do
01:01:12
you feel about it? How do you feel about Well, [ __ ] I don't really [ __ ] I'll go to war with any of these [ __ ]
01:01:19
That's my Yeah. Yeah. That's a pretty good You guys like that one? That's a really good one. Really good use of the word. Yeah,
01:01:25
it's a really good idea. I' I've been uh Yeah, I got that lineup. I've been working on that joke. [ __ ] ass n I've
01:01:31
wanted to use those three words so bad in conjunction. It's pretty good, man. I I like saying those words, man. I just
01:01:38
got I just got it, Andrew. And I want you to say it right. A sequel to a movie. And tell me the movie that he's
01:01:44
needs to be in. Yeah. A sequel to a movie that he needs to be in. Fences. Wow. That's
01:01:55
Fences. Wow. Fant. Yeah. Did win an Oscar? What? Did anyone win an Oscar for that movie? Yes. Driving me as Daisy. Oh, come on, man.
01:02:09
Boy, I sure have some bad friends. There we go. Yeah. Yeah. I have a little dick. Okay. All right. Look at me, little guy.
01:02:16
A big guy. Whatever. You mean I have a little dick? I have malfunctions in my body, right? Malfunction. Yeah. And I've
01:02:22
had people tease me my whole I've been bullied. Why are you talking about your body like it's a machine? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's I've had bull I've been
01:02:27
bullied. Okay. Right. Yeah. I've seen and I'm We have the same cause. Same cause. You mean same cause. We're in the
01:02:34
same group. I I don't think I want to be in that group. Yeah. Yeah. But you are. I don't think I'm in that group. I'm in
01:02:41
a group. In the in casting directors, you'd be like, "We're looking for white, Hispanic, and other." Well, you're
01:02:47
other. We're other. We're okay. I'll take that. He's saying bonding you as minorities is Yeah, we're other, dude. I
01:02:52
feel it, man. Minorities for sure. And you and you you you you you are success and you're killing it. Thank you. What a resilient young man. Thank you. You know, of all against all odds, I'm doing
01:03:04
it. Yeah, dude. Yeah. Resilient. Oxygen tank on stage. You Yeah. You don't have one. You don't have one now. No, I'm
01:03:11
doing pretty good right now, man. I'm on my health journey. You know, I've put down the cup and I've picked up the water. So, no more no more peromethsine.
01:03:18
Uh I'm not going to say no more. Oh, there's a picture right there. Wait, hold on. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You literally have an auction. Yeah. Yeah. That was in
01:03:24
front of 20,000 people. My god. More than that, bro. But yeah, at the United Center. Let's be real for a second. It's
01:03:31
my hometown. Can I be real? Y Shyrack. Okay. Can we help you? Uh I don't think I need help with anything right now. I'm being real now, you know, because I'll be real with you. And this is And this
01:03:42
is going to say some [ __ ] No, I'm not going to say any [ __ ] I'm not going to say any [ __ ] I'm not even Go ahead. Go. No. No. Because you know, I was dear friends with Ralphie. Yes.
01:03:49
Right. And I never said anything. Rest in peace. I never said anything. Right. You know, and I I've always regretted
01:03:55
that I didn't. It's like, you know, when people have a drug addiction at the store, right? I always go up to if you ever want to go to a meeting, I'll take
01:04:01
you and I'm I always do. Well, for your reference, I don't if you know, Bobby is a recovering alcoholic. Yeah, I know that for sure. So, what I'm saying is is
01:04:07
that I'm jokes aside. Yeah. Is there anything we can do? Because it's like at the end of the day, we want you to get
01:04:13
healthy here. Mhm. And I'm And I'm working on that, you know. But what are you doing? What am I doing? Uh, I'm
01:04:19
exercising, eating correctly. Okay, good. Drinking a lot of water. Now, I recently got out of the hospital and
01:04:24
that was like a wakeup call for me of sorts. What happened made you go to the hospital? Uh, bunch of [ __ ] Uh, but
01:04:32
yeah, I'm doing good now. You're fine. You're fine. Did you have a ser a serious incident that made you go to the hospital that uh Yeah. Yeah. But I'm
01:04:40
chilling now. You know what I'm saying? I'm making the changes, you know? So, what he's saying is we want Dave Blunts
01:04:45
around. We really thank I appreciate that. I think you're very talented and very cool. I think what you can do for me is, you know, just emotional support.
01:04:51
You know what I'm saying? You know, a couple adds claps. Add a boy. And uh Yeah. So, are your are your parents still together? My mom Well, my dad passed away when I was young, but my mom
01:05:02
my mom, she's my everything. Yeah. His dad died, too. Yeah. I'm so sorry, bro. Rest in peace, man. Another thing you have in common. Another We have so much
01:05:08
in common. We We might be like, brother. Did we just become bad friends? Yeah. Yeah, we did. Yeah.
01:05:14
I want to do a movie called War Babies with you. War babies? Yeah. We're not going to war any of these. No way. No. Our father was, you know, black. Yeah.
01:05:21
And he did a couple of wars in different places and had two and then we're offspring of of that black man. I'd
01:05:27
watch that movie. I feel like we could sell that. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if you could.
01:05:33
Yeah. Yeah. I don't not like Netflix. We could We could probably do a 2B release. I would love to see it. I think we can
01:05:38
do a 2B release. You know, free movies. I feel like it might end up on YouTube. This could be a YouTube show. Yeah. War
01:05:43
babies. So you you live in LA. Where do you live? I live in LA now. I recently moved here. Well, back in June I moved
01:05:50
here. You like it? Yeah. I I didn't like it at first. Then I went back home to visit and I'm like, I got to get the
01:05:55
[ __ ] out of here and get back to LA. Yeah. Yeah. So now I love it. This is my new home now. Good, dude. You're going
01:06:00
to be touring from here. It's hard to tour from LA. There's two guys that tour from LA. It's tough. I will say. What do you mean it's hard? Well, I mean, you're
01:06:06
flying across the country and you're Oh, no. I don't fly. [ __ ] all that. I'm going on a tour bus. Oh, okay. So you
01:06:12
when's the last time you flown? Uh when I came here. When I came here. When I did sh When I did to the Chicago like
01:06:19
the [ __ ] United Center. We drove there, bro. That was 30 hours. That was the worst mistake of my [ __ ] life.
01:06:24
That's a far drive. Yeah, bro. I was on a [ __ ] I'm not trying to be funny. Hold on. Just can I can I finish? Go.
01:06:30
Go. So yeah, man. We drove there and it was in a sprinter van. Why does he look like he can't like Are you good?
01:06:38
What? Why did you like get away from the mic and like turn? I'm really listening. Okay, but No, you're not. Like, you was
01:06:44
you was turned away. I have slandy ears, too. Oh, okay. All right. All right. I had to lean it this way. God, you're being racist. Oh, my bad. All right. All
01:06:50
right. I like that jacket, by the way. But, uh, no, man. Yeah, it was in a [ __ ] Sprinter van, and that [ __ ] sucked. It was 30 hours non-stop
01:06:57
driving. We didn't stop at all. And the [ __ ] seat belt buckle was poking me in my ass. At least I hope it was a seat
01:07:03
belt buckle, right? Never know with Sprinter vans. But now you're going to be on a tour bus. Yeah, we did. We did the tour bus, him and I. Yeah, we did.
01:07:10
And don't don't you can't poo. I That's what I've heard. You can't [ __ ] on the bus. Yeah, you can't [ __ ] I seen that in the show. Well, you physically can't.
01:07:16
It's also an uncomfortable It's the bathroom is small. The toilet's against the door. You can't do it. Yeah, you
01:07:22
cannot do it. Mine's got a pretty big bathroom in it, though. Really? Yeah. Okay. Cuz ours didn't definitely not
01:07:28
have a big bathroom. We had to put [ __ ] in the shower cuz we ran out of storage space. But go ahead and ask the
01:07:33
question. You I I don't want to go ahead. I can't I can't. Why? The time passed and it's like it's rude and I don't like it. What was it? You got to
01:07:39
like it. Yeah. No, I can't. It's It's gonna It's It the timing. You know how in comedy there's timing? Yeah. Comedic
01:07:45
time. Yeah. Yeah. It had to be there. I don't have the confidence to say it. I'm going to guess. Yeah. As a comedian.
01:07:50
Okay, good. I'm going to guess it had something to do with the flight. Oh, yeah. We can talk about that. Yeah.
01:07:55
Yeah. Let's talk about it. It wasn't going to be funny, but I was just curious about when people see you get on the like scared.
01:08:07
I mean, imagine my uncle in Germany, who's bigger than you, have to buy the whole aisle. The whole aisle? Like the aisle that people walk down? No, the uh
01:08:19
the row. The whole row? No, you get the row, right? No, two seats though. Two seats. Not the row. Okay. Not the row.
01:08:27
Good. Not the row. Yeah. Yeah. And they don't get scared, so that's good. I answered my own No,
01:08:32
I love it. You have a girlfriend? Uh, we recently just broke up. Oh, no. You're free? Yeah, you're free. You broke up with her, right? How did that happen?
01:08:43
Uh, yes. You like the white stuff? Kind of. It was like a mutual thing. You like the white stuff. What flavor? Yeah. What
01:08:48
flavor do you like, man? Come on, bro. What flavor? You like vanilla, man. Right now. French vanilla. I bet. Okay.
01:08:55
It's not even necessarily white. That's just my track record is white. I'm attracted to all of them, you know, but it's just like where I shoot for black, but I land at white. You know what I'm
01:09:06
saying? Yeah. Um, you're in LA now guy. I don't really like LA women, man. I usually uh go outside of LA for the
01:09:15
women. You like Chadzsworth? Chadzsworth? What's that? What do we You mean surrounding Los Angeles? You mean out of California as a whole? No, I
01:09:22
usually be like flying [ __ ] out type [ __ ] You be flying out. Oh, [ __ ] That's the best way, dog. Yes, sir.
01:09:28
Congratulations, player. We got to fly these [ __ ] out. Yeah, you got to fly them out. Are you putting them up first
01:09:33
class? No. No. Coach, right? Coach, baby. Spirit flight. Middle. Spirit middle. And then what if And what if
01:09:40
they Cuz he likes to He he often not. Sorry. Sometimes Bobby has friends that fly out. Okay. But but I'm curious to know, do they stay in a hotel or they stay at your house? They stay with me,
01:09:51
man. What if they say I I want a hotel? Would you get them a hotel? Uh those ones I usually just go, I don't think
01:09:56
it's going to work out. It's not going to work out. Yeah. Do you know what? You know the signs. He knows the signs.
01:10:02
Yeah. You know when they're using you and No. No, I don't. Now I No, I don't. What do you mean? I don't know when
01:10:08
they're using me. Oh, you don't know. It's hard for me to tell. Sometimes they do. Do you? Sometimes they do. Yeah. So, you've flown person time. They do. Some
01:10:14
You've flown somebody out and you realize they were using you. Yes. And that hurts. That hurts. It hurt cuz she
01:10:20
was living with me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know. I know. Oh, man. But that's happened. Has it not happened to me a
01:10:25
couple times? Damn. He's gone through that. And so do they ask for money and [ __ ] Yeah. And they say, "Will you buy
01:10:31
me shit?" Yeah. But these ones, man, these are like real trench [ __ ] Do you know what a trench [ __ ] is? I can
01:10:38
guess. Google trench [ __ ] for me. I don't think you'll be able to find it. Yeah. Something from like World War II
01:10:43
will pop up if you Oh, that's a song. Who sings that? Oh, black. Black youngster. Yeah. Yeah. Black youngster.
01:10:49
Let's see photos of some trench [ __ ] Let me read the lyrics, please. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is I didn't know this was a song. I put my life on the line.
01:10:55
I'mma break up with you. Don't do it white. Do it like like they do it. Should sing it together. Yeah. I put my
01:11:01
life on the line. I'mma break up with you, ho. It's over. You been disrespectful. I hope Crazy House come get you, ho. Pistol by the dresser cuz
01:11:08
I'm sleeping by my pistol, hoe. I don't tongue wrestle when you speaking on my bitch's hoe. I can't put I can't put my
01:11:15
[ __ ] before my bro cuz my bro, that's my bro. But my bro, he got to know. Then he can't disrespect my hoe. She ain't
01:11:21
just no wait. She ain't just no any hoe. She's some like my mind hoe. Even though
01:11:27
she my side [ __ ] I buy her a range. Row ver. Wow. Really good. That was good. That was good. That was Yeah, that was really good. I like how you did the rover thing. Let's do And he didn't even do that. I wrote that for you. Black
01:11:38
youngster. So reach out. Can I see Can I see a photo of a trench ho? Wait, hold on. Hold on. The next lyric literally says trench [ __ ] Trench [ __ ] She
01:11:46
don't give a [ __ ] about rich [ __ ] I keep my Oh, so you like a trench [ __ ] This This means she is She's from the
01:11:52
trenches. She's from the streets. The trenches, right? The trenches. Yeah. She's not used to like luxury lifestyle.
01:11:58
Our generation calls them real ones. Yeah. Yeah. The real ones. Yeah. Anyway, um Well, listen up, Dave Blond. We You're We got to You got to come back here. You got to come. We love you. Do
01:12:10
you have any burning questions to ask us before we wrap up the show? Um anything that you wanted to say? Well, I do want
01:12:16
to ask, man, you know, when we get in a new season, Dave. Oh, never. It's over. It's over. It's like, seriously, it's
01:12:21
over? Like, bro, no. No. Like, come on. No, it's done. That was one of the things. That's one of the requirements.
01:12:27
Uh when uh when Hamas returned the Israeli hostage All right. All right. All right.
01:12:33
All right. All right. All right. Why? That's a true story. No, no, no. When when when Hamas returned the hostages, they said, "But no more day." And that
01:12:40
was part of the deal. Is it seriously done? My night. No [ __ ] That's my favorite. It's done. Yeah. Damn. It kind
01:12:47
of left on like a cliffhanger almost. Yeah. Well, blame Hamas. Blame Hamas. Oh, that's who did it. How come you
01:12:53
didn't give Bobby a role in the show? That's a really interesting That's a really interesting question and that I
01:13:00
really never had the answer to. I mean, I can give you the answer. Go ahead. We really only worked with people that
01:13:05
really kind of were, you know, what? Like legit actors. Show was filled with really good actors. Gada wasn't even he had no rules before that. Yeah. No, that's right. I was being facicious. No,
01:13:18
you know, I had no control over the show. I wish I could have got Bob on the show, but uh he Dave doesn't like me.
01:13:23
Dave doesn't like you. That's right. Seriously, just move on. No, dude. No, Hollywood doesn't really work that way. It doesn't work that way. Well, I wish
01:13:29
it did, but if it was my show, clearly we're making our own shows together, but when you're on somebody else's show, you you guys are having a show together.
01:13:34
Yeah, we have a we have a Hulu animated show. We do. And we have a game, and we would love to have you in it. Yeah. Hey. Hell yeah, man. [ __ ] Yeah. Let me know.
01:13:42
I'm I'm down. You'll play Jerome. I Hell yeah. No, we'll make him like a pixie or something. What's the Okay. What is the
01:13:49
animated show about if you guys want to see? I can't We can't leak it. Okay. Okay. Okay. But but we but we'll I swear
01:13:55
to God we we're going to use you. Dave's on tour. Go to uh what is it? Daveblunts.com.co.co. Some bastard
01:14:02
took.com. We got to get that. Oh, we got to get them. Yeah, we got to get Davebluns.co. Go to davebluns.co. Uh he's going to be
01:14:09
down there in the Crescent Ballroom. Oh, Phoenix love, dude. House of House of Blues, Cambridge. Uh he's going to uh
01:14:15
Texas there. A bunch of Texas dates. Atlanta and New York. The Market Hotel in New York. Well, Dave, do me a big
01:14:21
favor. We appreciate you being on the show. We end the show by uh you um saying something that you really feel
01:14:27
deep in your heart to Rudy Jules. Uh if it's a truth you need to tell her or something very powerful. Give her a
01:14:32
powerful message to her. She's young. Yeah. She needs kind of a little bit of advice. How old is she? She's What are you? Six. Yeah, she's six. No, she's 20.
01:14:40
What? Two? 23. 23. Okay. Um, give her some life advice that you've learned. Life advice, you know, uh, [ __ ] You
01:14:48
know, you're in your 20s. This is the time to [ __ ] up and make all the mistakes. Do drugs. Uh, be in a
01:14:55
relationship that's bad for you. You know what I'm saying? This is the time to do it now. Yeah. So, when you're 30,
01:15:01
like you've been through [ __ ] you're like, "All right, nah, now it's time for me to, you know, be a good person,
01:15:08
citizen, level out." Correct. So, yeah. Yeah. Now, I want you to look in that camera right there and say, "Thank you for being a bad friend." Thank you for
01:15:14
being a bad friend. [Music]