00:00:00
You two are bad friends.
00:00:01
>> Who are these two idiots?
00:00:03
>> A white dude and an Asian dude. You two
00:00:07
are disgusting.
00:00:09
>> You two are something.
00:00:10
>> We're bad friends.
00:00:12
>> You know I You know what I love, dude?
00:00:13
>> Yeah.
00:00:14
>> I love dried noodles.
00:00:16
>> Oh yeah.
00:00:16
>> You know what I mean? The Chinese where
00:00:18
they have the dried noodles and some
00:00:20
sort of gravy like some Chinese gravy on
00:00:22
top. So you get some of the like soft
00:00:24
parts, right? And then the hard part.
00:00:26
>> Sounds good. somehow like like my my me.
00:00:29
I'm hard and soft at the same time, you
00:00:30
know?
00:00:30
>> Well, you need to be soft before you can
00:00:32
get hard
00:00:33
>> or vice versa.
00:00:34
>> Be hard and then go soft.
00:00:35
>> Yeah, that's what I do.
00:00:36
>> Okay, good.
00:00:37
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:00:37
>> Can I tell you what's bothering me about
00:00:38
the internet and Chinese?
00:00:40
>> All these Brits posting about getting a
00:00:41
Chinese. We're going at We're getting
00:00:43
ourselves a Chinese. They call getting
00:00:45
Chinese food. Yeah.
00:00:46
>> Getting a Chinese. Yeah.
00:00:48
>> Look up getting a Chinese. In the UK,
00:00:50
getting a Chinese is common.
00:00:51
Non-offensive slang for phrase meaning
00:00:53
to order or buy a Chinese takeaway meal.
00:00:56
Why is it okay for So Brits are the
00:00:58
first people to get mad at people for
00:00:59
saying something incorrectly on PC. They
00:01:01
say go get a Chinese. Yeah.
00:01:03
>> I mean that sounds pretty scary
00:01:06
>> in this day and age.
00:01:07
>> Yeah, I get a Japanese.
00:01:09
>> That's easier.
00:01:11
>> Much easier.
00:01:11
>> Yeah, they're easier to catch. The
00:01:14
Japanese are easier to catch.
00:01:15
>> They really are.
00:01:16
>> Are they not?
00:01:16
>> Well, they're more patient.
00:01:17
>> Yeah, they're they're like in their
00:01:19
suits. You know what I mean? Just out
00:01:21
with their briefcase out there.
00:01:22
>> Well, you can't
00:01:23
>> and they get drunk. They get drunk.
00:01:24
>> Mhm. Mh.
00:01:25
>> That's when you get them.
00:01:26
>> You can't run.
00:01:26
>> You go to Tokyo 2 in the morning. Bunch
00:01:29
of businessmen. They're drunk. That's
00:01:30
when you get a Japanese.
00:01:31
>> That's when you get a little Japanese.
00:01:32
>> Going to get myself a Japanese.
00:01:34
>> Yeah. You don't get a Chinese. They're
00:01:35
harder to catch, dude. They're ninjas.
00:01:37
>> They're very evasive.
00:01:37
>> They're in the trees.
00:01:38
>> That guy's easy to grab.
00:01:39
>> Look at that. Yeah.
00:01:41
>> That's such a great culture. When we go
00:01:42
to Japan, I want to We should do a late
00:01:44
night walk and talk video where we find
00:01:45
drunk Japanese men sleeping on the
00:01:47
street.
00:01:47
>> You're the only one. You're the only one
00:01:51
that texted me on my birthday. You're
00:01:53
the only one.
00:01:55
>> Well, clarify what you mean by birthday.
00:01:56
>> My a birthday.
00:01:57
>> That's right. I'm the only one.
00:01:58
>> You're literally Sunday the only one.
00:02:00
None of you bastards, right? Came to my
00:02:02
special. Thank you.
00:02:04
>> Came to my special.
00:02:05
>> Yeah, we were there.
00:02:06
>> But but yeah. Yeah. What?
00:02:08
>> Who?
00:02:08
>> Who didn't?
00:02:09
>> Who didn't? He's busy.
00:02:11
>> No, but let's
00:02:11
>> Andrew's a busy man. He's in that magic
00:02:13
movie,
00:02:14
>> right? He's hanging out with
00:02:16
>> You know what I mean?
00:02:16
>> You know why I didn't come to the
00:02:17
special for?
00:02:18
>> Because you have your own shows.
00:02:19
>> No.
00:02:20
>> Yeah.
00:02:20
>> Carlos knows. I even said to those guys
00:02:22
when you weren't here, I said, "I should
00:02:23
cancel the shows." And then I thought,
00:02:24
"You probably don't want me there." And
00:02:27
you said to me off air, if we're going
00:02:28
to be honest about it, you said, "It's
00:02:30
probably easier if you're not there cuz
00:02:32
>> I cuz you're going to give me notes.
00:02:33
>> I would never give you notes."
00:02:34
>> Yeah. I said, "You don't need the
00:02:35
pressure of me being there." And I and I
00:02:37
was honest with the guys. I said I was
00:02:38
going to call my agent, cancel, and I
00:02:40
said,
00:02:40
>> "He probably doesn't want me there."
00:02:41
Yeah. And you said to me off air,
00:02:43
>> "I didn't want you."
00:02:43
>> That's right. Okay. So, thank
00:02:45
>> I I I don't think we should go. I mean,
00:02:46
you know, if there's a wedding, like if
00:02:48
I'm married, getting married, obviously
00:02:49
you should come. No, you don't want me
00:02:50
there for that.
00:02:51
>> No, no, you got to come.
00:02:52
>> I will.
00:02:52
>> Yeah. Yeah. So, you can go, "No, I don't
00:02:54
agree." You know, with the vows.
00:02:56
>> Object.
00:02:56
>> Yeah. Object. You I want you to object.
00:02:58
>> Imagine I object. And it's because I
00:03:00
want you to be my wife.
00:03:03
>> Oh, yeah. Yeah. You do a speech.
00:03:05
>> Mhm. Yeah.
00:03:05
>> And I'm Everyone's crying. It's that
00:03:07
moment in the movie. I pick you up. We
00:03:08
run down to the ocean.
00:03:10
>> Yeah.
00:03:10
>> We go swimming and everybody It's a
00:03:12
beautiful moment. Then the music stops
00:03:13
and everybody realizes it's just us and
00:03:15
the ocean together.
00:03:17
>> God.
00:03:17
>> Waiting away. Heated Rivalry.
00:03:19
>> Mhm. Heated Rivalry.
00:03:22
>> Yeah.
00:03:22
>> Revivalry.
00:03:23
>> No. Heated Rivalry.
00:03:24
>> Okay.
00:03:25
>> Do you know about it?
00:03:26
>> No.
00:03:26
>> The show.
00:03:27
>> It's my jam.
00:03:27
>> What's Heated Rivalry?
00:03:29
>> This show is my jam, dude.
00:03:30
>> What is this?
00:03:30
>> Gay hockey.
00:03:31
>> It's a gay hockey show.
00:03:32
>> This is why everybody online is talking
00:03:34
about Yeah. When did they kiss? People
00:03:35
are going to hockey games and going,
00:03:36
"When did they kiss?"
00:03:37
>> Dude, it's so hot,
00:03:40
>> dude.
00:03:40
>> It melts the ice.
00:03:41
>> It melts the ice. It's so hot. I've been
00:03:43
watching it, dude. Right. There's a
00:03:45
scene these two rookies in the
00:03:47
beginning. Okay.
00:03:49
>> This is where I'm gonna be a little I'm
00:03:51
gonna be a little rookies. Take that
00:03:52
off. I don't want to see that.
00:03:53
>> Yeah. Yeah. There's Yeah.
00:03:55
>> Stop it.
00:03:56
>> There's these two rookies, right?
00:03:58
>> And they find the themselves in the gym,
00:04:02
>> right? And they're also like, you know
00:04:03
what I mean? Not nemesises, but they're
00:04:05
rivals.
00:04:06
>> Okay.
00:04:06
>> Hence the name
00:04:08
>> heated rival.
00:04:10
>> Pretty on brand.
00:04:11
>> It's pretty on brand, right? And one guy
00:04:14
goes, "Can I get a drink drink of your
00:04:15
water?"
00:04:16
>> He pisses his mouth.
00:04:17
>> No, he doesn't. And they he hands him a
00:04:20
white water bottle and he does a light
00:04:24
a little brush of the finger.
00:04:26
>> And that sets it off. It turns into a
00:04:27
gay porno after.
00:04:28
>> Dude, I'm watching it going, I'm in. I'm
00:04:31
in this.
00:04:31
>> So, this is a gay love story.
00:04:33
>> Yeah.
00:04:33
>> What is this on?
00:04:34
>> Bravo.
00:04:35
>> No, it's on HBO.
00:04:36
>> It's on HBO. That's right.
00:04:38
>> I'm going to call my local uh I'm going
00:04:39
to call my local congress person to get
00:04:41
this removed.
00:04:42
>> Yeah. And here's my only problem with
00:04:44
the show
00:04:45
>> is all the gay [ __ ]
00:04:46
>> No, it's not the gay [ __ ] right? The
00:04:48
Asian one, right? When they first hook
00:04:50
up,
00:04:50
>> he's the bottom.
00:04:51
>> He comes too fast.
00:04:52
>> He just He comes Do you see it?
00:04:55
>> He comes way too fast.
00:04:57
>> Oh, boy.
00:04:57
>> Yeah. And cuz cuz the Russian one,
00:04:59
there's always a Russian one.
00:05:01
>> Well, they're hockey.
00:05:01
>> Yeah. And he doesn't know what his
00:05:03
sexuality is. The Asian one.
00:05:05
>> I think we figured it out pretty quickly
00:05:07
in the show.
00:05:07
>> Yeah. But he doesn't know, right? And
00:05:09
then when he blows them, Right. He comes
00:05:11
so fast, right? And I'm like, too fast.
00:05:14
>> PTSD for you.
00:05:15
>> No, I just want to see the left. What do
00:05:17
you mean? What does that mean?
00:05:19
>> A little uh what do they call that when
00:05:21
you have an acid flashback? You got a
00:05:22
[ __ ] [ __ ] flashback.
00:05:23
>> Yeah. But anyway, um dude, half Asians.
00:05:27
Wow.
00:05:28
>> So, heated rivalry is your favorite new
00:05:29
gay show.
00:05:30
>> Yeah, it's my favorite gay show.
00:05:31
>> I can't watch that kind of stuff.
00:05:32
>> And can I say something?
00:05:32
>> Crazy talk. What are we talking about?
00:05:34
>> What do you mean?
00:05:34
>> I don't want to watch that stuff.
00:05:36
>> See, that's why I watched it because I
00:05:39
don't want to be that guy. I says, "I
00:05:40
don't want to watch that stuff."
00:05:41
>> Oh, yeah. I don't want to watch that.
00:05:42
>> Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to be that guy.
00:05:44
I want to be open, right, and go, "Oh,
00:05:46
he's, you know what I mean? He's an open
00:05:47
book.
00:05:48
>> He's in touch with this feeling."
00:05:49
>> I don't want to see sex scenes between
00:05:50
straight couples on shows. I want to see
00:05:52
shows that are more creative than just
00:05:53
sex.
00:05:53
>> Yeah. I only saw one episode. I'll never
00:05:55
see another one.
00:05:57
Yeah. I I You know, the girl I'm seeing
00:05:59
made me watch it. I saw the first
00:06:01
episode. I was That's enough for me. I
00:06:03
know what happens.
00:06:03
>> When you brought up a gay love scene,
00:06:05
like two g like two men in love. I
00:06:07
thought you were talking about Free
00:06:08
Bert. I thought it was Bert's new show.
00:06:11
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:06:11
>> Honestly, I watched it the other night.
00:06:13
>> Good,
00:06:13
>> brother. It's great.
00:06:15
>> I heard it's good.
00:06:15
>> It's not good. It's great. It's
00:06:17
fantastic. It's so fun and it's it hits
00:06:19
all the notes.
00:06:20
>> It's a great show. Great. I'm not saying
00:06:22
that because it's our boy.
00:06:23
>> So happy for her.
00:06:23
>> It is fantastic.
00:06:24
>> Yeah.
00:06:24
>> And she and uh um
00:06:28
>> Oh god, what's wrong with my brain?
00:06:30
What's her name?
00:06:31
>> Artemarine.
00:06:31
>> Artem Artem. Yeah. Artem. Artemis.
00:06:34
>> Artemis. Foul.
00:06:35
>> Yeah. No. Uh Ardan. Ardan. She's Ardan,
00:06:38
right?
00:06:38
>> Yeah.
00:06:38
>> Ardan Mirren. Yeah, she's great.
00:06:40
>> Ardan is um I have to say something.
00:06:43
>> You've known her for a long time.
00:06:44
>> I've known her. She We're on Matt TV. I
00:06:45
know.
00:06:45
>> Yeah. Ardan looks so good for her age.
00:06:50
>> Okay.
00:06:50
>> Is that bad to see?
00:06:51
>> I don't even know.
00:06:52
>> Yeah. Yeah. No, I mean
00:06:53
>> she What is she 106?
00:06:55
>> No, she's my age.
00:06:56
>> You corrected it by saying sexy. That's
00:06:57
>> Is that Is that mean for me to say is
00:06:59
that
00:06:59
>> I didn't need the for for her age part.
00:07:01
>> I didn't just say she looks
00:07:03
>> Let me get that again.
00:07:04
>> Big too.
00:07:04
>> Yeah, she looks sexy. A little creepy,
00:07:07
but yeah, that's fine.
00:07:08
>> No, as a friend, I don't I There's no
00:07:10
Come on.
00:07:11
>> I know, man.
00:07:11
>> Yeah. Okay. Well, then
00:07:12
>> just teasing. 52 years old. Yeah, she
00:07:14
looked great. You look great, too, for
00:07:15
54.
00:07:16
>> Yeah.
00:07:17
>> And I And I look
00:07:18
>> I remember when I played John McCain,
00:07:19
she played Cindy McCain.
00:07:21
>> A
00:07:22
>> I remember.
00:07:23
>> That's pretty sweet.
00:07:23
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:07:24
>> Wow. Look at that third picture, babe.
00:07:26
Third third photo. There it is. Zoom in.
00:07:29
>> You do look like John McCain.
00:07:32
>> That's incredible.
00:07:33
>> Yeah. Yeah. It's incredible. If you're
00:07:35
ever wondering why not a lot of Asian
00:07:36
guys get casted in sketch comedy, that's
00:07:38
it right there.
00:07:39
>> Why?
00:07:39
>> I mean,
00:07:40
>> it's hard.
00:07:40
>> You look nothing like Johnny. You just
00:07:42
like an old You look like an older Asian
00:07:44
guy.
00:07:44
>> Yeah.
00:07:46
>> You're playing your dad.
00:07:46
>> I look like Mitch McConnell's wife.
00:07:50
>> Wow. Look at how much taller she is than
00:07:51
you. Why Why' they make her wear heels?
00:07:53
>> Yeah,
00:07:53
>> you have grown since then.
00:07:56
>> Comedically, physically.
00:07:57
>> Yeah,
00:07:57
>> you've grown.
00:07:58
>> So, anyway, you guys, January 25th is my
00:08:01
AA birthday.
00:08:02
>> Okay. So, just text me how you had a
00:08:03
happy birthday. Happy birthday.
00:08:04
>> I did. I did.
00:08:05
>> You're the only one. No one else in my
00:08:07
life.
00:08:07
>> Oh, it means a lot to me.
00:08:08
>> Yeah, dude. What a friend, dude.
00:08:10
>> And I'm And I'm happy. I was really
00:08:12
excited to see you today.
00:08:13
>> Why?
00:08:14
>> I got therapy this morning. I feel
00:08:15
great.
00:08:16
>> Yeah.
00:08:16
>> I feel great. I got a great lesson out
00:08:18
of it. I I used it my
00:08:19
>> Tell me your lessons.
00:08:20
>> Well, I'll give you one called joy. I
00:08:22
told the boys today, joy. The acronym in
00:08:24
the lesson today was joy.
00:08:25
>> Yeah.
00:08:25
>> Just observe yourself.
00:08:27
>> Yeah.
00:08:27
>> He's like, just be in it a little bit.
00:08:29
Just
00:08:29
>> stop trying to go full speed ahead and
00:08:31
look for just be in it a little bit.
00:08:33
>> Yeah, I do. Yoge.
00:08:35
>> Yeah. What is that?
00:08:35
>> What?
00:08:36
>> What is it?
00:08:36
>> Joy backwards.
00:08:37
>> Yeah. What is it?
00:08:38
>> What? Yourself, right?
00:08:41
>> You always jerk off.
00:08:42
>> I'm not done.
00:08:42
>> Oh, no.
00:08:46
>> Joy backwards.
00:08:47
>> Yeah.
00:08:47
>> Yourself on Jeremiah.
00:08:51
>> Okay.
00:08:52
>> Yeah. What do you think? Anyway, yeah.
00:08:53
Um, now I feel good.
00:08:54
>> Did you get Do did you Cuz I felt after
00:08:57
my special I felt like um
00:08:59
>> postpartum
00:09:00
>> a little bit.
00:09:01
>> Mhm.
00:09:01
>> Is that real?
00:09:02
>> Big time.
00:09:03
>> Yeah.
00:09:03
>> Especially when you're writing the new
00:09:04
hour. I am in postpartum hell.
00:09:06
>> Yeah. In fact, today I got on Lexa Pro
00:09:08
because of it.
00:09:08
>> No, don't get on that. Yeah.
00:09:10
>> Please, dude.
00:09:10
>> I'm so depressed.
00:09:11
>> How many pills are you on now?
00:09:13
>> So many different kinds.
00:09:14
>> Ozie Lexi.
00:09:15
>> Yeah. Yeah. Bluetooth. Where's the blue
00:09:17
>> Bluetooth? Yeah. You got to eat that.
00:09:18
>> Blue.
00:09:19
>> He loves it.
00:09:19
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:09:20
>> You do really use that a lot.
00:09:21
>> I do. Does that balance okay with your
00:09:23
medication?
00:09:23
>> Oh, yeah.
00:09:24
>> Good.
00:09:24
>> Yeah. Everything works. But yeah, there
00:09:26
So, so you're saying that there is a
00:09:28
feeling of a little bit of it.
00:09:29
>> There's a postpartum special or a
00:09:31
postpartum shooting, but I feel the same
00:09:32
way after I film anything. Anything I
00:09:34
always feel a little sick and and bad
00:09:36
>> just cuz you you you put some you put so
00:09:38
much into something. People that don't
00:09:40
know, you worked so hard on the special.
00:09:43
Yeah.
00:09:43
>> No, you did. I saw you every night,
00:09:44
multiple times a night. And then when
00:09:46
you put it out, it's it's hard when
00:09:48
you're done cuz then you're like,
00:09:49
>> "Yeah,
00:09:49
>> it's just weights lifted, but you also
00:09:50
feel a little empty
00:09:52
>> cuz the night was magical." I mean, you
00:09:54
guys were there. You know, you mean? So,
00:09:55
it's like um
00:09:56
>> we were surprised.
00:09:57
>> Yeah. See, that's another thing. Why did
00:09:59
you So, this is what he's This is what
00:10:01
these I get off stage. These guys are
00:10:02
like, "Oh, you're actually funny.
00:10:05
>> You've seen him before."
00:10:06
>> I know, but that was the energy that you
00:10:07
were giving me,
00:10:07
>> right?
00:10:08
>> Why?
00:10:09
>> Because you you took it to a different
00:10:11
level.
00:10:11
>> Yeah. You were taping. You did it.
00:10:13
>> Yeah. You have to though.
00:10:14
>> Mhm. Because when there's cameras on,
00:10:15
you're like, I have to mug and you know
00:10:17
what I mean? And milk it.
00:10:18
>> You gotta milk it,
00:10:19
>> right?
00:10:20
>> These guys don't know anything about
00:10:21
showbiz.
00:10:22
>> You know what I mean? When you're doing
00:10:22
a live show in front of people, it's not
00:10:24
that I do 50%. But you don't really do a
00:10:27
lot with your face and this because they
00:10:29
can't really see it,
00:10:30
>> right?
00:10:30
>> Right. It's all about tone.
00:10:32
>> But you're doing it big in this one.
00:10:33
>> Yeah. I'm doing you
00:10:35
>> white eyes.
00:10:36
>> Yeah. I did white eyes. I did
00:10:39
>> Oh, Asian eyes.
00:10:40
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:10:40
>> Yeah. Uh scared eyes.
00:10:43
>> Yeah.
00:10:45
Yeah.
00:10:45
>> Oh, just came eyes.
00:10:46
>> Yeah, I did all of them.
00:10:48
>> Yeah, you got to do them all.
00:10:49
>> Full range.
00:10:49
>> I did the full range of eyes, dude.
00:10:51
Yeah.
00:10:51
>> I think it's I think it's a good thing
00:10:53
that you're feeling this way because
00:10:54
then you build something new again.
00:10:56
>> I can't think of anything to say.
00:10:58
>> Come on, talk about
00:10:59
>> I really I literally don't have
00:11:00
anything. I don't know what I sit there
00:11:01
and I go I don't know what else to say.
00:11:03
>> Well,
00:11:04
>> yeah.
00:11:04
>> There's a lot going on in the world. You
00:11:05
could talk about any of it.
00:11:06
>> Oh, I see.
00:11:07
>> You know what I mean?
00:11:07
>> Yeah.
00:11:08
>> Oh, by the way, this was amazing. Carlos
00:11:09
sent me this. I died. There was a this
00:11:12
in in uh how do you say that fans?
00:11:14
>> Khalif Khif
00:11:17
as Stephen Hawkings. So like I saw that
00:11:18
they all dressed up. Look at that.
00:11:20
Roaming the streets as Steven.
00:11:21
>> Yeah.
00:11:22
>> Take me to Epstein's island. Take me to
00:11:24
Epstein's island. Take me to Take me to
00:11:26
Take me to Take me to Take me to
00:11:27
Epstein's I I I
00:11:30
>> The footwork on the guy in the middle is
00:11:32
dead on.
00:11:33
>> It's impressive.
00:11:34
>> You got to do a crooked foot.
00:11:35
>> You have to have the lean.
00:11:35
>> Yeah. You have to do lean. Yeah. Um
00:11:38
>> this is a celebration of life more than
00:11:39
anything.
00:11:40
>> It It's a celebration of life. Yeah.
00:11:41
>> Whoever has the best technology, I'd be
00:11:43
I'd be more impressed with whose
00:11:44
computer actually worked.
00:11:45
>> Yeah.
00:11:46
>> And then next year they're doing Michael
00:11:47
J. Fox.
00:11:50
>> It's going to look like an earthquake.
00:11:54
And I'm going to do it that way. Give me
00:11:56
your Michael J. Fox.
00:11:59
>> Uh-uh. Uhuh. Uh-uh.
00:12:02
>> No way.
00:12:03
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:12:04
>> What's on your hat?
00:12:05
>> Oh, the flower.
00:12:06
>> Yeah. What does that mean? It just I
00:12:08
think it's like a Japanese like version.
00:12:10
>> That's cool, dude.
00:12:11
>> Let me tell you something. Show Otani
00:12:13
has us on lock.
00:12:14
>> What do you mean?
00:12:15
>> Everything is Japanese now. Yeah. Go to
00:12:16
Dodger Stadium this next season. It's
00:12:18
all Japanese. All the advert It's
00:12:19
brilliant.
00:12:20
>> Yeah.
00:12:20
>> You know, they start I know you don't
00:12:21
love baseball. I want You're going to
00:12:22
come this year with me?
00:12:23
>> I'm going to come.
00:12:24
>> This All right. Pause. This this guy I
00:12:28
think they said the Dodgers have already
00:12:30
made their money back on him already
00:12:32
because how how sellable he is.
00:12:34
>> Yeah. I mean, he's an he is a it's a
00:12:36
meastar beyond meastar.
00:12:38
>> Yeah.
00:12:38
>> It's mindblowing.
00:12:40
>> Yeah. It's not as big, but LAFC getting
00:12:42
Sun on the team, too. Yeah. Everything
00:12:44
is Sun. Everything.
00:12:45
>> Even I know who that is.
00:12:46
>> That's how big that is.
00:12:47
>> But that's money. It's all big money. If
00:12:49
they just Let me tell you something.
00:12:51
>> Yeah.
00:12:52
>> Knock on wood, dude.
00:12:53
>> Asians are here. Open up.
00:12:55
>> We're here and we're here to stay.
00:12:56
>> That's right.
00:12:57
>> We're here. We're here to stay, dude.
00:12:58
You know what I mean?
00:12:59
>> I know.
00:12:59
>> You don't mess with us, dude.
00:13:00
>> No, trust me. I'm learning Cantonese
00:13:01
right now.
00:13:02
>> Are you really
00:13:02
>> late at night?
00:13:05
Yeah. Uh
00:13:06
>> my buddy My buddy who you know is
00:13:07
teaching his son uh Mandarin right now.
00:13:10
You know my friends
00:13:11
>> speaking.
00:13:11
>> He's they're speaking.
00:13:12
>> No. Speak. Speak to me.
00:13:13
>> He did it this morning. What's W water?
00:13:16
He was doing it's like
00:13:17
>> No, it's like it's like
00:13:20
and he said he knew coffee. What's
00:13:22
water? Does that literally say water?
00:13:27
Yeah. It was that
00:13:28
>> with a little kid this morning. Cute.
00:13:31
>> Yeah.
00:13:31
>> So cute. What's ice? How do you say ice?
00:13:37
>> I'm just curious.
00:13:37
>> What is it?
00:13:41
>> I can point. You know what I mean? If
00:13:43
I'm with my Mexican friendsing
00:13:48
>> and they run, you know what I mean?
00:13:49
>> What is that?
00:13:50
>> Yeah.
00:13:52
>> Oh, [ __ ] I sayising.
00:13:58
Ping.
00:14:01
>> I'm going to Minnesota right now. I'm
00:14:03
going to be yelling that in the
00:14:04
>> ping is the cool. They would make a hit
00:14:06
song out of that.
00:14:07
>> Yeahing.
00:14:10
>> That's so good.
00:14:11
>> That's [ __ ] Ice.
00:14:12
>> Yeah,
00:14:12
>> that's great.
00:14:13
>> That's great, dude.
00:14:14
>> That's so funny, dude.
00:14:15
>> Yeah. Anyway,
00:14:17
>> that's so fun.
00:14:19
>> They can make anything fun.
00:14:20
>> They can make it fun. The language.
00:14:22
>> Hey, you know what I saw this morning?
00:14:23
What?
00:14:24
>> I was actually a little proud. I almost
00:14:25
sent you a little photog.
00:14:26
>> What is it? I saw a billboard of our
00:14:28
movie Goat that we're in. Wow. A huge
00:14:30
billboard. I was like, "Holy [ __ ] it's
00:14:33
a big deal."
00:14:33
>> You going to go to the thing?
00:14:34
>> Yeah, we got to go.
00:14:35
>> We have to. We don't have a choice.
00:14:36
>> It's not this weekend, but next weekend.
00:14:37
>> Next weekend. Yeah, we have to go to the
00:14:39
premiere. Look at that there. Yeah. I
00:14:40
don't know which one that was. But it
00:14:41
was just cool to see cuz we've never
00:14:43
been in a real animated feature. I have
00:14:45
never been in an animated feature. Have
00:14:46
you?
00:14:46
>> That's hu. Look at that. It's
00:14:47
threedimensional, too. Look at it.
00:14:48
>> But zoom in. Look what it says. From
00:14:49
K-pop demon hunters spiderverse
00:14:51
Spider-Man.
00:14:52
>> Yeah,
00:14:53
>> that's pretty cool.
00:14:53
>> Huge.
00:14:54
>> I hope so, man.
00:14:55
>> Yeah, I think it's going to be huge. I
00:14:56
will say we saw the movie. I'm not
00:14:58
>> You saw what movie?
00:14:59
>> We saw this movie. I'm saying
00:15:00
>> we saw bits of it.
00:15:01
>> No. What do you mean? We sat down. We
00:15:02
saw Well, we didn't see it fully
00:15:04
animated.
00:15:04
>> We didn't see it. Yeah. Fully. We did
00:15:05
see it though.
00:15:06
>> But they showed us the It was so fun,
00:15:07
man.
00:15:07
>> Yeah. It's fun. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:15:09
>> I don't know. It's cool to be a part of
00:15:10
that kind of thing cuz I've never seen
00:15:11
animation come like that from
00:15:13
>> So cool.
00:15:13
>> Yeah. 0 to 100.
00:15:14
>> You've been working on that for a year.
00:15:16
>> Yeah. Oh, it takes forever.
00:15:17
>> It takes forever. Willy Wonka's here.
00:15:19
You want to bring in
00:15:20
>> Bring in Willy Wonka.
00:15:21
>> Yeah. Yeah. Willy Wonka.
00:15:22
>> Willy Willy. Willy Willy. Willy willy
00:15:25
Willy.
00:15:25
>> What's up, dude? Dude,
00:15:27
>> let me say something, dude.
00:15:29
>> Outfit
00:15:30
>> steel.
00:15:31
>> WHOA.
00:15:33
>> Outfit on fleek.
00:15:36
>> Wow.
00:15:37
>> Yeah. Keep it getting
00:15:38
>> Look at that. Let me say something. I
00:15:39
didn't recognize you when at first
00:15:41
because you lost so much weight.
00:15:42
>> Thank you.
00:15:43
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:15:43
>> I'm not going to lie to you either. I
00:15:45
100% didn't know that was you outside. I
00:15:47
was like, "What the fuck?" When I met
00:15:48
you, dude, you were much bigger,
00:15:50
>> dude. like 80 lbs every This is my usual
00:15:53
weight that I'm usually at.
00:15:54
>> That That's the one I miss.
00:15:57
>> No, I'm kidding. No,
00:15:58
>> time that picture, dude. Thanks to Jam
00:16:01
in the Van for this picture. I look like
00:16:03
a goblin.
00:16:04
>> Yeah,
00:16:05
>> you do. You do look sickly there.
00:16:06
>> Yeah, that's a pale man.
00:16:08
>> Yeah,
00:16:08
>> tell me how you lost all the weight,
00:16:10
>> dude. I just I eat scrambled eggs and
00:16:12
[ __ ] exercise every day. I dance like
00:16:15
James Brown in my house for like 3
00:16:16
hours.
00:16:17
>> That's amazing. Scrambled eggs.
00:16:19
>> Amazing.
00:16:19
>> Scrambled eggs. Dance like James Brown.
00:16:21
You look like this. America. Well, I
00:16:23
mean, you know, you
00:16:24
>> like incense. I feel like you like
00:16:26
incense.
00:16:27
>> I do. If I have time.
00:16:28
>> I used to go to
00:16:29
>> You like things around the house. I bet
00:16:30
you I bet you money,
00:16:31
>> dude. I walk around the house naked
00:16:33
every day. Yeah.
00:16:34
>> That's how I live.
00:16:35
>> And so like if my girlfriend's niece
00:16:38
moves in, it's like, "Oh, [ __ ] You got
00:16:40
to wear clothes."
00:16:41
>> Amen.
00:16:42
>> Never again.
00:16:42
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:16:43
>> Don't let your girlfriend's niece move
00:16:45
in. Is that a life lesson?
00:16:46
>> It's a life lesson.
00:16:47
>> That is a life lesson. Yeah.
00:16:49
>> Yeah. Why not?
00:16:51
>> Her ghost is right here.
00:16:52
>> Do you know Jules?
00:16:54
>> Don't know her. Seen her on the show.
00:16:57
>> I was of her. Are you an AI guy?
00:17:01
>> No. It's strange to see it come and go
00:17:04
because a year ago everybody in the
00:17:06
comments would go, "If you're not into
00:17:07
AI, you're going to get left behind."
00:17:09
And that's totally flipped. Now in the
00:17:11
comments, people are like,
00:17:12
>> "What is this AI slop?
00:17:14
>> What is this?" So, I'm kind of stoked to
00:17:16
see the public reception flip,
00:17:18
>> right?
00:17:18
>> You know, because
00:17:20
>> I think it's cool. They They still can't
00:17:22
get green screen to work perfectly.
00:17:25
Like, when you go to
00:17:26
>> Yeah, we're working on it every day in
00:17:27
here.
00:17:27
>> Yeah.
00:17:28
>> Just can't get it done.
00:17:29
>> It'll never have the uh the human
00:17:32
emotion of comedy or the nuance in
00:17:34
songwriting, you know.
00:17:36
>> Yeah, that's true. You got It's you.
00:17:38
It's going to be us. It's got to be us.
00:17:39
Yeah.
00:17:39
>> But there was a song on TikTok.
00:17:41
>> Oh, so good.
00:17:43
>> What? The AI song.
00:17:44
>> It's an AI song.
00:17:45
>> I know.
00:17:46
>> It's a live song, you know, live the
00:17:48
band.
00:17:49
>> I can feel it. Is that
00:17:50
>> Yeah, that that song,
00:17:52
>> right?
00:17:53
>> It was like an R&B version of that song
00:17:56
and I tried to find it on my iTunes and
00:17:59
it does it's not available. It's AI.
00:18:00
>> Yeah, it's fake.
00:18:01
>> But it sounds good.
00:18:02
>> There's AI.
00:18:03
>> Are you scared or No. Oh, yeah.
00:18:04
>> Cuz when I I love that.
00:18:05
>> I'm scared. They'll never They'll never
00:18:07
come close, dude. I can write you any
00:18:08
genre in the next five. I write like
00:18:10
five 10 songs a day when I'm locked in.
00:18:14
>> But I collect all the gear from like the
00:18:16
Mottown days and I'll record you a
00:18:18
Mottown song and write you something
00:18:19
that'll make you cry. AI only exists
00:18:23
because it's copying. It's a reflection
00:18:25
of the human emotion and all the stuff
00:18:27
that's trained it,
00:18:28
>> right?
00:18:29
>> But will it continue? Will it get so
00:18:30
good that it will then train us?
00:18:33
>> It's at the fingertips of human command.
00:18:35
So no AI thing is existing without a guy
00:18:38
firing the command. So it comes down to
00:18:40
a laziness on the writer's behalf,
00:18:42
right? I entered in write a song in the
00:18:45
style of steel beans. And I'm not like
00:18:48
that famous, but my lyrics are on there.
00:18:50
And it wrote a song and I looked at the
00:18:52
lyrics and I was like, damn, this is
00:18:54
kind of some lyrics I would write, but I
00:18:57
would never say this. It's hacky to put
00:18:59
this sentence like that. I was like,
00:19:01
it's it's the finetuning that puts the
00:19:03
eyebrows in the idea. Did you say that
00:19:05
to AI? Cuz if you say that then it's
00:19:06
going to good. I'll just get better at
00:19:07
it then.
00:19:08
>> Oh yeah.
00:19:09
>> That's the problem is that people go
00:19:10
this isn't good enough. And it goes
00:19:11
working on it and it just continues to
00:19:13
like what you just said into that
00:19:14
microphone now it's being recorded. It's
00:19:16
put out into the app like it AI is going
00:19:18
to know now.
00:19:19
>> [ __ ]
00:19:20
>> Yeah. You [ __ ] up.
00:19:21
>> You [ __ ] up, dude.
00:19:22
>> I purposely did that by asking those
00:19:24
questions.
00:19:25
>> Damn it.
00:19:25
>> You're done, dude.
00:19:26
>> You got an album out now.
00:19:28
>> I do. Uh, I didn't come here to promote
00:19:30
my album that came out on October 9th uh
00:19:33
on uh Anderson Pax label, Apeshit
00:19:36
Records. Awesome.
00:19:37
>> I got uh Troy Van Leuen from Queens of
00:19:39
the Stone Age on three of the songs. And
00:19:42
um
00:19:42
>> let me ask you about that part of it.
00:19:44
Right. You're playing the guitar,
00:19:45
playing drums at the same time and
00:19:46
singing.
00:19:47
>> Yeah.
00:19:47
>> Right.
00:19:48
>> Seems difficult. It's like chewing gum
00:19:50
and riding a horse at the same time. Is
00:19:54
that what it is?
00:19:54
>> Yeah.
00:19:54
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:19:55
Yeah. I don't know if you
00:19:56
>> chewing gum and riding a horse with the
00:19:57
same
00:19:58
>> riding a horse with gum.
00:19:59
>> Done that. Throws it throws both you and
00:20:00
the horse off.
00:20:02
>> It's just tough rhythmically.
00:20:03
>> Christopher Reeves,
00:20:04
>> that's what happened to him. He was
00:20:05
chewing gum. Yeah. Yeah. Mhm. Yeah.
00:20:08
>> I don't blame him.
00:20:09
>> So, is that I mean you you're thinking
00:20:11
are you thinking though or is this
00:20:13
organic?
00:20:13
>> I'm not thinking at all. I'll be honest,
00:20:15
the lame answer is it's not that hard.
00:20:18
Cuz I played drums since I was two, got
00:20:20
into guitar in middle school, and I was
00:20:22
texting the band, "Fuck, when are you
00:20:24
guys going to get here to rehearsal?"
00:20:26
And I sat down at the drum set with my
00:20:28
guitar on. I just went bangle.
00:20:31
>> Yeah. Let me see if I can do it.
00:20:35
>> And you got to move rightly.
00:20:37
>> You got it.
00:20:37
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:20:38
>> Are we about to start the first twoman,
00:20:40
one man?
00:20:41
>> Got to do it two times or not less.
00:20:44
Yeah,
00:20:45
>> you can do it.
00:20:46
>> I Dude, this is a twoman band.
00:20:48
>> Yeah, try it.
00:21:03
>> Very good.
00:21:08
Thank you for being a bad friend.
00:21:10
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>> Praise the Lord.
00:23:52
>> Rabbel rouser, if you will. It's Rick
00:23:54
Glassman. Huh?
00:23:55
>> Yeah.
00:23:56
>> Thank you. Thank you,
00:23:59
Ricky. What's going on?
00:24:02
>> Where do I begin?
00:24:03
>> That's the show. Thanks, guys.
00:24:04
>> Thanks for coming in.
00:24:05
>> Can I plug my tour?
00:24:07
>> There's a tour. There's a tour.
00:24:09
>> What coffee shops are you going to play?
00:24:11
>> Hello.
00:24:15
>> San Francisco, Denver, Houston,
00:24:16
Cleveland, Dallas, Portland, Salt Lake
00:24:17
City, Austin, Indianapolis, St. Louis.
00:24:18
There it is. Go to punch up.
00:24:20
>> He's going to be at the San Francisco
00:24:21
Starbucks.
00:24:24
>> Well, it's a reserve
00:24:25
>> on Main Street at Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The
00:24:27
Denver coffee uh coffee bean, the
00:24:30
Houston Alfreds, which is good. It's a
00:24:33
really good coffee. You'll be at the
00:24:34
Houston Alfred.
00:24:35
>> People say they love it.
00:24:36
>> Yeah, it is good.
00:24:36
>> Do what? The Denver Coffee Bean. It's
00:24:38
one of the I love it.
00:24:40
>> It's a Yeah, it's a great gig.
00:24:42
>> Coffee Bean. I'll be in the Cleveland
00:24:43
Oh, they're gone.
00:24:44
>> You excited or what?
00:24:46
>> Um, man, I've never loved stand up more.
00:24:49
>> Yeah, you're very good at it.
00:24:50
>> Thank you.
00:24:50
>> Yeah,
00:24:52
>> thank you. Um, I uh think I want to fill
00:24:55
my hour. I've been working on this hour
00:24:57
for like about two and a half years now.
00:25:00
>> And there's reverb from the headphones
00:25:03
that are coming through the microphone.
00:25:04
>> You can just put in your ear. It's
00:25:05
>> too loud. It's too loud. You put in your
00:25:06
ear. Yeah,
00:25:07
>> that head was too loud. Yeah, he
00:25:08
>> could you bring the cans down.
00:25:10
>> And uh and now let's get into it.
00:25:13
>> Let's go.
00:25:14
>> Could you bring the can down?
00:25:15
>> Bring the can down. He asked you twice.
00:25:17
>> He did.
00:25:17
>> The Red Bull. Thank you. The Red Bull.
00:25:19
>> Someone's got to bring the can down.
00:25:21
>> Ricky, this hour is going to be
00:25:22
fantastic out of you. I know that
00:25:24
because you're really killing it lately.
00:25:26
>> I just got it.
00:25:28
>> Ah, play on word. It was a plan word.
00:25:30
That's how you laugh.
00:25:30
>> It was a play on word.
00:25:31
>> What if that's how you laugh?
00:25:33
>> Yeah.
00:25:35
Uh, Richard,
00:25:37
>> what if that's how he actually laughed?
00:25:38
>> That is
00:25:39
>> That is actually how I Yeah. Yeah. Can I
00:25:41
say something? You like eccentric socks?
00:25:44
>> You tell me.
00:25:44
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:25:45
>> I got these at a museum.
00:25:46
>> Oh, which one?
00:25:47
>> Uh, it was the It was the one where the
00:25:49
the cows go to. I'm sorry. A museum.
00:25:52
>> Burn.
00:25:54
>> Sorry, dude. You asked for it. Let
00:25:55
>> Can I think about it?
00:25:57
>> I get it.
00:25:58
>> Okay, let's get into it.
00:25:59
>> I really get it. Yeah. Yeah. You know,
00:26:01
>> and their stance, no less.
00:26:03
>> Yeah. You know what show I've been
00:26:05
watching though that I really like? Have
00:26:06
you Have you seen this show The Pit?
00:26:09
>> No.
00:26:09
>> Have you heard of it?
00:26:10
>> The show about Rothsberger?
00:26:16
>> The Pit?
00:26:18
>> You watch that show?
00:26:21
>> No.
00:26:21
>> Can I say something?
00:26:22
>> Yeah.
00:26:22
>> Yeah. I've never seen a medical show
00:26:24
before.
00:26:25
>> I never saw ER. I never saw Grey's
00:26:27
Anatomy. Never saw Scrub. An any of
00:26:29
that. Right.
00:26:30
>> And I've been watching The Pit. Right.
00:26:32
Why would you want to be in the medical
00:26:34
field? It's so
00:26:35
>> Have you seen the bloopers?
00:26:36
>> The bloopers on the pit.
00:26:37
>> Oh, they're insane. We pull up the pit
00:26:39
bloopers.
00:26:41
>> Just Ben Rothersberger getting tackled a
00:26:42
bunch.
00:26:42
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:26:43
>> Very funny.
00:26:44
>> It's such a stressful job.
00:26:46
>> Yeah.
00:26:46
>> Yeah.
00:26:47
>> Have you ever been a mother?
00:26:50
>> You mean the sitcom?
00:26:51
>> Yeah. Have you ever watched The Mother?
00:26:53
>> Did you do that? An episode of The
00:26:54
Mother?
00:26:54
>> No, I never What's The Mother?
00:26:56
>> The CBS show, The Mother. Actual hardest
00:26:58
job in the world
00:26:59
>> by far.
00:26:59
>> Is that called Mom?
00:27:01
>> No. Well, the mom mom the show mom is a
00:27:03
spin-off of The Mother. The Mother was
00:27:04
an original show on CBS.
00:27:05
>> Okay.
00:27:06
>> Do you remember how successful Bad
00:27:07
Friends got after people talked about
00:27:08
started talking about your mom?
00:27:10
>> Yeah.
00:27:10
>> Isn't that crazy?
00:27:11
>> That was a big piece of our puzzle.
00:27:13
>> Yeah.
00:27:13
>> Yeah. We learned
00:27:14
>> I put that in the special.
00:27:16
>> Oh, yeah.
00:27:17
>> I heard. I heard.
00:27:18
>> And you know what? I might sue you.
00:27:21
>> Why?
00:27:22
>> It's copyright.
00:27:22
>> YOU SAID IT ON THIS SHOW.
00:27:23
>> I'M BOBBY Mom is mine. Okay.
00:27:25
>> It's my phrase forever.
00:27:26
>> But isn't it yours's impression of Isn't
00:27:28
the original IP his mom? No, but I
00:27:30
caught it.
00:27:30
>> Doesn't she actually say that
00:27:31
>> the phrase is copywritten?
00:27:32
>> She doesn't actually say I'm Bobby mom.
00:27:34
>> She's never said it once.
00:27:36
>> Do you want to edit that out?
00:27:38
>> Is it worth you getting credit for
00:27:39
something? Because people love it cuz I
00:27:41
thought
00:27:41
>> No, she's never said it.
00:27:45
>> Okay.
00:27:45
>> I'm suing. I'm suing.
00:27:48
>> What's up with the Groucho Mark's
00:27:50
eyebrows?
00:27:52
>> Do I have Groucho Mark's eyebrows?
00:27:53
>> Yeah, a little bit.
00:27:54
>> I don't think so.
00:27:55
>> Okay. Is that the black guy from Full
00:27:57
House?
00:27:57
>> Yeah.
00:28:00
There he is.
00:28:00
>> There he is.
00:28:01
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:28:02
>> I think it's the wideness of it. You
00:28:04
know what I mean? Not not the thickness.
00:28:05
>> I don't know what my eyebrows look like.
00:28:06
I haven't looked in a mirror in 3
00:28:07
months.
00:28:08
>> Yeah. It was a slender didn't work,
00:28:09
actually.
00:28:10
>> What happened to those mirrors? You got
00:28:11
the mirrors out of your house.
00:28:12
>> Yeah.
00:28:13
>> No, I just don't look at them.
00:28:14
>> They're there, though.
00:28:15
>> Mhm.
00:28:17
>> Self-restraint.
00:28:18
>> Yeah. It's tough. Every time I walk by,
00:28:20
I go, I want to take a [ __ ] look at
00:28:21
this guy.
00:28:22
>> I want to see what it looks like
00:28:23
>> because I when I look in a mirror, I end
00:28:24
I go like this.
00:28:26
I don't know how to do it, guys.
00:28:28
>> That was great.
00:28:29
I felt I felt like like I had Botox or
00:28:31
something. I felt like I I couldn't do
00:28:32
it.
00:28:33
>> Hell is other people.
00:28:35
>> Yeah. I don't know. Get it.
00:28:36
>> Like, sorry. This is This is a
00:28:38
nightmare.
00:28:39
>> Oh, I we I'm just saying. No, but I'm
00:28:41
going to say this, right? If we died and
00:28:43
and we were all three stuck in a room
00:28:45
together. Oh my god.
00:28:48
>> I would cl I would I would
00:28:51
>> imagine for us then.
00:28:53
>> What do you mean?
00:28:54
>> Oh, this is what you see
00:28:56
>> every day.
00:28:57
>> Okay. Okay. Well, you're welcome.
00:28:58
>> Yeah.
00:29:00
>> You're welcome.
00:29:00
>> What? What's up?
00:29:02
>> Uh, not much. What's up with you?
00:29:06
>> That's what I mean.
00:29:08
>> That's a pleasure.
00:29:09
>> You have what's up on your shirt.
00:29:13
>> You're supposed to say what's up on your
00:29:14
shirt.
00:29:15
>> What is going on here,
00:29:17
>> Bobby? No. Shut up. Shut up. You make
00:29:19
it.
00:29:20
>> You make it.
00:29:20
>> Very successful podcast when when you're
00:29:23
very very successful together. So what
00:29:25
so basically what I'm saying to you is
00:29:26
that no I I don't think it's me. I think
00:29:28
it's you. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's up.
00:29:31
>> It's not that's a that's a chicken.
00:29:33
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:29:34
>> Bad friend.
00:29:35
>> Yeah.
00:29:35
>> Tiger belly.
00:29:37
>> Oh, really? You think so?
00:29:39
>> I don't know. Why don't you pull up the
00:29:40
analytics?
00:29:40
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We don't have We don't
00:29:43
have to have huge celebrities to up.
00:29:46
>> What is that noise?
00:29:47
>> Yeah. Yeah. That's going up.
00:29:48
>> That's going up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:29:50
>> So So if the stock
00:29:51
>> We understand We understand what this
00:29:53
is.
00:29:55
You think this is grifting? You think
00:29:56
that's Hollywood grifting?
00:29:58
>> No.
00:29:59
>> Okay,
00:29:59
>> congratulations.
00:30:01
>> Because he's making it sound as if
00:30:02
you're grifting. Why? What? We've had
00:30:04
those people on the show.
00:30:05
>> I know.
00:30:08
>> We're grifters as well. We're grifters
00:30:09
as well.
00:30:10
>> Well, Paul Rod, I mean, what an
00:30:13
coming back on, but
00:30:14
>> Well, he's dead, right?
00:30:16
>> He was left uh I don't think he was
00:30:20
dead. No,
00:30:21
>> he was severely injured. He got [ __ ]
00:30:23
up a couple of times on my podcast.
00:30:26
Yeah.
00:30:26
>> And
00:30:27
>> I felt bad,
00:30:30
>> but he told me I could post it. And then
00:30:32
he told me that he was upset that I
00:30:33
posted it, but he didn't know that.
00:30:36
>> He said because he was he was on pain
00:30:37
pills. He didn't quite understand what I
00:30:40
was asking him. He didn't really
00:30:41
remember it.
00:30:42
>> Did he block you on platforms or
00:30:44
anything?
00:30:44
>> I I only connect with him through his
00:30:46
publicist. I don't know. I don't think
00:30:47
he's on any social media. M.
00:30:49
>> He's one of those guys that it's like
00:30:51
like you know people like social media
00:30:52
is stupid but like they're on it all the
00:30:54
time.
00:30:55
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:30:56
>> Yeah. He's not on it.
00:30:57
>> What's your screen time on your phone?
00:30:59
Does it register?
00:31:01
>> I can look.
00:31:01
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:31:03
>> I know. Mine.
00:31:04
>> What is it?
00:31:06
>> Depends on the week.
00:31:07
>> Yeah.
00:31:07
>> I I go between four hours and eight
00:31:09
hours.
00:31:09
>> All right. So, um, you know, I'll tell
00:31:11
you. You know what my daily average is?
00:31:13
>> H
00:31:13
>> 4 hours and 10 minutes.
00:31:15
>> How do you find Oh,
00:31:16
>> that's like my low end.
00:31:17
>> Yeah. My daily average is 5 hours and 44
00:31:20
minutes.
00:31:21
>> Is that bad?
00:31:22
>> I think
00:31:22
>> five hours of your life on your phone.
00:31:24
That's pretty bad.
00:31:25
>> Yeah, I think it's bad. I mean, I don't
00:31:26
think I think it's typical and I think
00:31:28
it's bad.
00:31:29
>> Carlos is seven hours.
00:31:30
>> Is it really?
00:31:31
>> Oh my god. A day?
00:31:33
>> Yeah.
00:31:33
>> That's insane.
00:31:34
>> What's yours?
00:31:35
>> Between 4 and 8, but also it's tough to
00:31:37
know because sometimes I like I'll put
00:31:39
stuff on like I'm listening to YouTube
00:31:41
on my phone or something, you know? So,
00:31:43
>> yeah. Let me see. Instagram is the most
00:31:46
>> and Tik Tok.
00:31:47
>> Three hours of only fans. That's what it
00:31:48
says here.
00:31:49
>> Posting or watching?
00:31:51
>> Posting. Feed pics. Feed pics.
00:31:54
>> Um,
00:31:55
>> messages takes up most of my time.
00:31:57
>> Do you think that's reading or writing?
00:31:59
>> I can't do either. It's probably why it
00:32:00
takes me so goddamn long to get through
00:32:01
that app.
00:32:02
>> I open it up, I scroll forever. It's
00:32:04
impossible.
00:32:05
>> It It does say Only Fans online. 15
00:32:07
minutes.
00:32:07
>> Yeah, it's not that bad.
00:32:08
>> No, that's not bad.
00:32:09
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:32:10
>> What do you do on Only Fans? Do you
00:32:11
watch stuff? Do you send them messages?
00:32:12
I watch. I'm a um supporter of the arts.
00:32:16
>> You look young when you smile. I don't
00:32:18
think I've seen you look smile before.
00:32:19
>> Yeah. I love anything creative.
00:32:23
>> How much money do you put on Only Fans?
00:32:25
>> How much do I spend
00:32:26
>> a month? Yeah. Do you think?
00:32:28
>> Couple hundred bucks, I think.
00:32:29
>> No, way more.
00:32:30
>> Couple hundred bucks
00:32:32
>> a day.
00:32:33
>> No, couple hundred bucks.
00:32:34
>> Do you buy Do you buy the videos like
00:32:36
the extra ones
00:32:37
>> sometimes? I do. But it's You know the
00:32:39
descriptions though? I I I want to sue.
00:32:41
Oh, I know.
00:32:42
>> You know what I mean? Yeah. Like to this
00:32:44
video, you're going to see it all.
00:32:46
>> It's some girl in a [ __ ] bikini.
00:32:48
>> But fool me once.
00:32:50
>> Shame on you.
00:32:50
>> Fool me twice.
00:32:52
>> Knock it off. Don't get fooled again.
00:32:54
Don't f again.
00:32:54
>> Give a man a fish.
00:32:55
>> Okay.
00:32:55
>> Fool me four times.
00:32:56
>> I'll teach a man to fish. I used to do
00:32:57
that as a bit. I think I'll bring it
00:32:59
back.
00:32:59
>> Fool me five times.
00:33:01
>> Shame on me again.
00:33:03
>> Fool me six times.
00:33:05
>> Well, can't fool me again.
00:33:07
>> Can't get fooled again.
00:33:08
>> Can't get fooled again.
00:33:09
>> You fool me. Can't get fooled again.
00:33:11
This guy's a hound dog.
00:33:12
>> You ain't nothing but a hound dog.
00:33:15
Crying all the time.
00:33:17
>> We get caught.
00:33:18
>> You're a h You're a hound dog.
00:33:20
>> You know how I know.
00:33:22
You
00:33:22
>> remember my at my BIRTHDAY PARTY.
00:33:25
>> YOU SAID YOU was
00:33:28
ain't nothing
00:33:30
so bad.
00:33:32
>> Look.
00:33:35
>> I could do it too, pal.
00:33:36
>> Did you say it looks like it's ble
00:33:37
Pauly? That's [ __ ] great. That is
00:33:40
true.
00:33:40
>> I went to school with a bell's pausy.
00:33:42
>> Yeah. What do you do?
00:33:42
>> Mr. Mrs. Pauly's kid. And you cops asked
00:33:45
him to freeze. He said, "I will halfway.
00:33:49
>> I see. His name was Belle.
00:33:51
That's a joke. His last name is Pauly."
00:33:55
Still, do the can thing again.
00:33:59
>> He'll be in Denver.
00:34:00
>> Yeah. Yeah. Coffee Bean. My point is is
00:34:03
this. Welcome to the show.
00:34:04
>> Thank you, man.
00:34:05
>> And really having you on is what a
00:34:07
pleasure.
00:34:07
>> Are you reading this?
00:34:08
>> Yeah. Yeah. We'll be right back. I'm
00:34:10
doing one of yours.
00:34:11
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:34:13
>> What else?
00:34:14
>> I know. Exactly.
00:34:15
>> We're back.
00:34:16
>> Yeah.
00:34:17
>> We are back.
00:34:18
>> We're back.
00:34:20
>> We're back.
00:34:22
>> Uh you like going on the road?
00:34:25
>> You just want to make this a short app.
00:34:27
We can just call.
00:34:27
>> You like going out?
00:34:28
>> I have. I've sincerely been loving it.
00:34:31
>> Yeah.
00:34:32
>> You get nervous or
00:34:37
>> you bring openers? Who do you bring?
00:34:39
>> Mike Leno. He's been coming with me.
00:34:40
>> Oh, good. Has he really?
00:34:42
>> Oh, love the Love the Leno.
00:34:46
>> Love the Leno. That's good merch.
00:34:48
>> Yeah.
00:34:51
>> This is like a first date that is uh we
00:34:55
both realize we're not attracted to each
00:34:56
other.
00:34:58
>> Is that why is it you and I? I mean, do
00:35:00
him.
00:35:01
>> He's
00:35:02
>> vibe with him.
00:35:03
>> All right.
00:35:04
>> Yeah. Yeah. I want to see you guys vibe.
00:35:06
>> All right. Would you like to host host
00:35:09
me?
00:35:09
>> I'd love to host you.
00:35:11
>> How have you been?
00:35:13
>> Uh lonely.
00:35:14
>> What's going on? Are you dating right
00:35:15
now?
00:35:16
>> Yes, technically yes. I would call it
00:35:19
dating. I am making an effort to meet
00:35:22
people and to go out with them. I have
00:35:25
not been dating like there's somebody
00:35:27
I'm dating that I'm like, "Ooh, I found
00:35:29
my person."
00:35:30
>> But you are searching.
00:35:33
>> Yes.
00:35:34
>> Okay. When we say this, you're dating
00:35:35
right now. Do you do this thing where
00:35:37
you take uh multiple women to the same
00:35:39
restaurant? Like you'll go back to the
00:35:41
same restaurant with a different girl.
00:35:43
>> I don't think I've ever been to a
00:35:44
restaurant in the past three years.
00:35:46
>> Good.
00:35:47
>> Uh I I've been doing that and I hate
00:35:49
when the host
00:35:50
>> One sec. I'm so sorry. It's just I was
00:35:51
vibing with Andrew. I was just seeing
00:35:53
how that was going. Remember? I was just
00:35:55
trying to see how that goes. Give us a
00:35:57
sec.
00:35:58
>> Andrew, what were you asking? I was just
00:36:00
saying when you go out on a date to a
00:36:02
restaurant, will you take a different
00:36:03
girl back to that same restaurant later
00:36:04
in the week or a different week?
00:36:06
>> I don't know, Bobby.
00:36:15
>> Oh,
00:36:16
I hate bringing the same girl back to
00:36:18
like a different day. It's because the
00:36:20
host
00:36:20
>> because the host will go, "Welcome back,
00:36:22
Mr. Lee."
00:36:22
>> Yeah,
00:36:23
>> another one.
00:36:24
>> But you've done it.
00:36:24
>> It's as if they say that.
00:36:25
>> I have a question. Is the host [ __ ] I
00:36:27
hate when I can't remember things. Thank
00:36:29
you.
00:36:30
>> Excuse me.
00:36:30
>> Is the was the hostess DJ Khaled?
00:36:34
>> So when when a host when a host says,
00:36:36
"Oh, welcome back. Why don't you go to
00:36:37
your date?" I've only been here with
00:36:39
friends before.
00:36:40
>> Yeah, that's I've I've never been here
00:36:42
with another girl before. Just do that.
00:36:44
And then she'll be like, "Oh, f."
00:36:45
>> I've gone to a restaurant where they've
00:36:46
told me they go, "Yo, your boy Bobby
00:36:48
come in here. He brought a different
00:36:49
bunch of different girls like the same
00:36:50
week.
00:36:51
>> Anyway, let me take your order."
00:36:53
>> Do you go out with different girls with
00:36:55
like
00:36:55
>> I'm seeing one person now. Yeah, this is
00:36:58
in the past.
00:37:00
This is in the past.
00:37:03
>> Also, take off your notifications on
00:37:05
your Papa iPad. That's what I've been
00:37:07
doing.
00:37:08
>> What does that even mean? Because
00:37:09
because you get text messages from
00:37:11
people.
00:37:11
>> You're watching the pit with with your
00:37:13
with
00:37:13
>> on your iPad.
00:37:14
>> Yeah. Yeah. Watching the pit, right? Are
00:37:16
you guys on a plane?
00:37:16
>> And all of a sudden, you get like a nude
00:37:18
photo.
00:37:18
>> He lives on a pit,
00:37:19
>> right? On your messages. And she's like,
00:37:21
"What's that?" Is this my cousin
00:37:23
Sabrina?
00:37:24
>> You have to make a lie. You know what I
00:37:26
mean?
00:37:27
>> Oh, she has nice breast. He sure does.
00:37:32
>> Do you really get random people sending
00:37:33
you naked pictures?
00:37:34
>> But you take off the notifications,
00:37:36
they'll pop up again.
00:37:37
>> But that's real. You'll just randomly
00:37:39
>> I got the UF like a UFC fight pass or
00:37:41
whatever. I That's fine. You know what I
00:37:42
mean?
00:37:43
>> You know what I mean? Dustin Mcoo's
00:37:45
fighting Natty Breart. You know what I
00:37:47
mean? That's fine. That's a good fight.
00:37:49
It's a good fight. Yeah.
00:37:50
>> Google should win that fight.
00:37:51
>> Yeah. Yeah. But
00:37:52
>> those are made up people.
00:37:53
>> Yeah.
00:37:54
>> I wouldn't know. Yeah.
00:37:54
>> That's a those are good names. Yeah.
00:37:56
>> Yeah. Name name some [ __ ] fake US.
00:37:58
>> I know Marcus Monroe.
00:38:00
>> Marcus Monroe is very good.
00:38:02
Bantamweight.
00:38:02
>> What's that?
00:38:03
>> We still that was a while ago and he's
00:38:05
still fighting still.
00:38:07
>> I'm into female fighting. Uh Sarah Mfino
00:38:10
is bigfitch. The Phantom's good. Good
00:38:12
boxing lineage.
00:38:14
>> Let's talk about that.
00:38:15
>> Her dad died in a fireb. Her dad died in
00:38:17
a fire. Yeah.
00:38:18
>> Kia Sturban or Sturban?
00:38:19
>> Stbin Sturb.
00:38:21
>> Kia Sturban.
00:38:22
>> Yeah. But her sister, my god,
00:38:24
>> I when she fought Ashka Malloy, I
00:38:26
thought I'm not kidding. I thought she w
00:38:28
I thought they was gonna end her career.
00:38:30
Yeah, because she had her in a fourfine.
00:38:32
>> Yeah. Yeah. The four fine was great.
00:38:34
Yeah,
00:38:34
>> for fine lock.
00:38:35
>> What is for fine lock?
00:38:36
>> The four fine lock is when the your
00:38:38
>> you know kumora, right? You know kumor
00:38:40
hold into a
00:38:41
>> 360 on the kamura, right? Spin it
00:38:43
around. But spin it around.
00:38:44
>> 360 kamura brings you right back to
00:38:45
where you started.
00:38:46
>> Exactly. They just call it nothing.
00:38:47
>> Oh, that would call it nothing but they
00:38:49
they have a name for it.
00:38:51
Oh yeah. Crazy.
00:38:53
>> Her first fight though when she fought
00:38:54
Tatum Tatum. Dude dude dude insane.
00:38:58
>> That was insane.
00:38:59
>> Because she's a heavyweight.
00:39:00
>> Exactly.
00:39:00
>> Why they let them fight in that same
00:39:02
way?
00:39:02
>> Tatum almost died.
00:39:04
>> Almost died.
00:39:04
>> That was incredible. Yeah. Yeah.
00:39:06
>> The paramedics were like next to the
00:39:07
ring like waiting for them to be done.
00:39:09
>> Are you saying there were two medics?
00:39:10
The paramedics?
00:39:11
>> Yeah, the paramedics were there. Yeah,
00:39:12
>> the paramedics.
00:39:13
>> Four lock half moon. Have you ever seen
00:39:14
that move before?
00:39:15
>> Show me how that goes.
00:39:16
>> Right. You take both of your legs,
00:39:18
right?
00:39:18
>> Both of your legs. You take you take
00:39:20
your own leg.
00:39:20
>> Yeah. Your own legs. You lock on their
00:39:22
legs, right? You look at the moon,
00:39:24
right? And then you go 360.
00:39:27
>> So you end up back where you start.
00:39:28
>> Exactly. So I don't know why they named
00:39:29
that either because a lot of Muay Thai A
00:39:31
lot of Mu Thai does go back to start.
00:39:33
>> That's when you you eat Muay Thai.
00:39:35
>> Yeah.
00:39:35
>> Yeah. Exactly.
00:39:36
>> Well, you have to order it before the
00:39:38
last round. You won't get there in time.
00:39:39
>> Right. And if you want Muay Thai,
00:39:41
>> but Tatum Tatum Tatum Tatum does it in
00:39:44
liquid form.
00:39:44
>> That's Jason Katum's son.
00:39:45
>> Exactly.
00:39:46
>> I thought we were talking female. No,
00:39:47
no, it's Casey Kasem's daughter.
00:39:49
>> Yeah, yeah, yeah. Twice removed.
00:39:51
>> What does that mean? There's twice
00:39:53
removed. I feel like a cheeseburger
00:39:55
without I have it twice removed just to
00:39:57
make sure they don't put cheese on it.
00:39:58
>> Well, you got a twice removed means you
00:39:59
were kicked out of the family two times.
00:40:01
Not you said something bad twice at a
00:40:03
dinner.
00:40:03
>> So, you're twice removed. They You're
00:40:05
still blood, but they don't want you in
00:40:06
the family anymore. Twice.
00:40:07
>> Do you ever play poker and somebody bets
00:40:09
a lot of money and you want to call, but
00:40:11
you don't and you let them know because
00:40:12
it's too much money. And the way you let
00:40:14
them know you say too rich for my blur.
00:40:17
>> Well, if I'm playing with a bunch of
00:40:18
crips.
00:40:19
>> Yeah.
00:40:19
>> You You say too rich for my blood.
00:40:21
>> Yeah. Crowd show.
00:40:24
>> What happened to the Crips and Bloods?
00:40:26
You don't hear much about them.
00:40:27
>> They're still around.
00:40:27
>> Yeah. You don't hear much about them.
00:40:29
>> They have a podcast now together.
00:40:30
>> Yeah.
00:40:31
>> What?
00:40:31
>> We have the same publicist as the [ __ ]
00:40:33
and Blood podcast.
00:40:34
>> Yeah.
00:40:36
>> What? Show Show me the [ __ ] and Blood
00:40:37
podcast. Oh, I like that. I like the
00:40:39
map.
00:40:39
>> Hey, [ __ ] and Blood podcast. See what
00:40:40
happened. Imagine how good it is, dude.
00:40:44
>> Wait, go back to the map of LA. I'd love
00:40:46
to see where the divides are cuz certain
00:40:47
neighborhoods that I need to go in.
00:40:49
>> This is what Gavin Newsome has been
00:40:50
trying to change, right?
00:40:51
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:40:52
>> What do you mean? Is he a [ __ ]
00:40:53
>> He's been just trying to change the He's
00:40:55
redistricting it all.
00:40:56
>> Yeah.
00:40:56
>> Good for him.
00:40:57
>> That's what we need. Zoom into that map.
00:41:00
That's great. The gang map. I love a
00:41:01
good gang map.
00:41:02
>> Yeah,
00:41:02
>> this is a better one.
00:41:03
>> I want to know where in my area. What?
00:41:05
>> Mostly rich.
00:41:06
>> Yeah, it's mostly Airwan.
00:41:10
Great gang by the way.
00:41:11
>> Oh my god. One of the best one of the
00:41:13
toughest gangs in the valley.
00:41:14
>> Yeah. I was talking about their hot bar
00:41:16
gang.
00:41:16
>> Yeah. Air1 gang.
00:41:20
>> Shopify. Hey ladies and gentlemen, boys
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>> That's right. You need them, they're
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>> Shopify.com/bad
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>> Quint.
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>> How do I look good?
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>> Well, it's a well-built wardrobe. It's
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about pieces that work together and hold
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>> Who?
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weather weather shifts.
00:42:49
>> Do they have organic cotton sweaters?
00:42:51
>> I'm pretty sure they do.
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>> Polos?
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>> Yes.
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>> Oh my god. Lighter jacket jackets.
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>> You better believe it.
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>> That's exactly correct. Everything is
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00:43:44
>> Oh, real quick. I want to just
00:43:45
acknowledge the people.
00:43:46
>> We know Houston, Seattle, St. Louis.
00:43:48
We'll put the [ __ ] I just want to say
00:43:49
here's a good spot for every San
00:43:51
Francisco. Just be as mean as you
00:43:52
possibly can. If you haven't written
00:43:54
those comments yet, just be as mean as
00:43:55
you possibly can
00:43:57
>> now.
00:43:58
>> How do you deal with comments?
00:44:00
>> How do you deal with it?
00:44:02
>> Are you being crazy right now? Everyone
00:44:03
[ __ ] loves you.
00:44:04
>> Uh, how do I You are the most beloved
00:44:06
guy on the internet. Your show is a hit.
00:44:09
You're a handsome tall Jew. Things are
00:44:11
going good.
00:44:12
>> Joe Rogan, I'd like to come to the
00:44:14
mothership, but I do what you think.
00:44:16
>> There it is.
00:44:16
>> I actually want to come there to
00:44:17
perform.
00:44:19
>> Nice. M
00:44:22
>> What did you What did you No, it's not
00:44:23
going to happen. What did you ask him?
00:44:24
You just asked him an important
00:44:25
question.
00:44:25
>> I have no idea what's going on.
00:44:28
>> You think people are going to be mean to
00:44:30
you? I ask you about comments.
00:44:31
>> Oh, yeah. Yeah.
00:44:32
>> Yes. Um I don't read com I mean
00:44:35
sometimes, but I don't really read
00:44:36
comments when I'm guests on other
00:44:38
people's pods anymore because when
00:44:40
people watch my podcast, they have an
00:44:41
idea of what they're getting and they've
00:44:42
decided that they like me.
00:44:44
>> Uh when I go on other people's podcasts,
00:44:46
I think they think that that I've
00:44:48
hijacked it. And they're uh they're mad.
00:44:51
Some of them might be a little bit mad
00:44:52
at you, too. Why would you let that guy
00:44:54
on?
00:44:55
>> We we we we like we like that people
00:44:59
that you raz people.
00:45:01
>> I like that you're a rabble rouser.
00:45:04
>> Look at you.
00:45:05
>> Here's what I like about you.
00:45:06
>> You little bad boy. Look at you at your
00:45:08
little snarl. Who's a little bad boy?
00:45:10
>> I'm not I'm not trying to
00:45:11
>> You're a little bad boy.
00:45:13
>> He's a nasty little boy.
00:45:14
>> You're a nasty little boy.
00:45:16
>> I have a good heart,
00:45:17
>> but I really believe that. I think
00:45:18
you're you're a very nice guy. I've
00:45:20
always thought that. A little lost and
00:45:23
confused, but
00:45:24
>> I think you're found.
00:45:25
>> Yeah.
00:45:26
>> Lost, confused, and found.
00:45:27
>> Yeah.
00:45:28
>> Good. Good.
00:45:31
>> Bobby.
00:45:31
>> Yeah.
00:45:32
>> Thank you for saying that.
00:45:38
>> Huh?
00:45:38
>> Thank you for saying that you see me in
00:45:41
a way that is nice.
00:45:43
>> Uh-huh.
00:45:45
I think your penis is dribbling. I think
00:45:47
your penis is dribbling goose. I can see
00:45:49
it.
00:45:49
>> Always has to go back to that, huh?
00:45:51
>> You're right.
00:45:52
>> You're right. It's a sickness, dude.
00:45:55
It's a sickness. I have rabble rouse
00:45:57
syndrome.
00:45:57
>> You are a rabble rouser, buddy. And it's
00:46:00
really tough.
00:46:01
>> Try not to snarl.
00:46:02
>> Don't Don't do it. Ricky, don't be a bad
00:46:06
boy. Don't snarl on this show.
00:46:08
>> Fiasco.
00:46:10
>> Please don't, Ricky. Please.
00:46:11
>> That's what girls say when they see me
00:46:12
naked walking away. They say word
00:46:13
fiasco.
00:46:14
>> Fias word freasco. And I say, "Where my
00:46:16
ass go?" And I say, "It's running down
00:46:18
my pants." Do you remember that joke?
00:46:21
>> Do you really remember it? You all
00:46:23
remember it? All right, let's try to
00:46:24
tell it. You start it.
00:46:26
>> No.
00:46:26
>> Okay. Absolutely not. Yeah. Yeah.
00:46:29
>> I want to see.
00:46:29
>> Yeah. We're not doing this. Yeah. Yeah.
00:46:35
>> Do you really know the joke?
00:46:36
>> No.
00:46:37
>> The pee is running down my pants.
00:46:39
>> Yeah. How? There's There's pee running
00:46:42
down my pants. The uh the kid asked the
00:46:43
teacher to go to the do you need
00:46:45
glasses?
00:46:46
>> I just I have no idea what's going on.
00:46:47
>> The kid the kid it's an old kid.
00:46:50
>> Can I go to the bathroom? There's pee
00:46:51
running down my pants.
00:46:53
>> And she says
00:46:54
>> and she says,
00:46:55
>> "Why are we laughing?"
00:46:56
>> That's a quicker way of getting to it.
00:46:57
No. The teacher says, "Sure, you can go
00:46:59
to the bathroom, but first you have to
00:47:00
sing the alphabet."
00:47:01
>> Kid says A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O Q
00:47:04
R S T U V W X Y and Z. Teacher says
00:47:07
that's close, but where's the P? Teacher
00:47:09
says kids
00:47:10
>> running down my leg.
00:47:16
My dad got pulled over the other day.
00:47:18
>> I love your dad.
00:47:19
>> He got pulled over the other day. The
00:47:20
cop asked for his driver's license. And
00:47:23
uh it says correct a vision. Cuz he
00:47:24
needs to have corrective vision. And the
00:47:27
uh he says, "Where's your glasses?" To
00:47:29
my dad. My dad says, "I have contacts."
00:47:30
And the cop says, "I don't care who you
00:47:32
know. You need to wear your glasses.
00:47:37
I don't care who you know. You need to
00:47:39
wear my glasses." That's a joke my dad
00:47:41
used to tell me a lot as a kid and I
00:47:42
always just thought it was a story he
00:47:43
told me.
00:47:44
>> Such a good joke.
00:47:46
>> Yeah.
00:47:46
>> I love your father.
00:47:47
>> Me too.
00:47:48
>> You tell your parents I said hi.
00:47:49
>> If I remember.
00:47:50
>> Come on. It's me.
00:47:51
>> Your parents like me?
00:47:53
>> I don't I don't know you.
00:47:56
>> My parents.
00:47:57
>> You came to my birthday party.
00:47:59
>> Yes.
00:48:00
>> Yeah.
00:48:01
>> Only private people that I know well
00:48:02
come to my birthday party.
00:48:04
>> So we don't know each other. Is that
00:48:06
what you're saying? Stating out loud in
00:48:07
public that we don't know each other.
00:48:09
You know me.
00:48:10
>> Why you laughing?
00:48:10
>> Cuz you're getting real upset.
00:48:12
>> Yeah,
00:48:12
>> you know me and that's why I was
00:48:13
invited.
00:48:13
>> Yeah, but you know me as well.
00:48:15
>> Did you bring your cousin? You know me.
00:48:16
>> Yeah, I like that when I get
00:48:19
>> still the same OG.
00:48:19
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:48:20
>> I haven't seen him in a while.
00:48:21
>> Yeah. Well, you know why?
00:48:22
>> He's been lowkey.
00:48:23
>> That's right.
00:48:24
>> He's also hated on.
00:48:26
>> So,
00:48:29
and I can't say the next line.
00:48:32
>> You could say that he has no wheels, no
00:48:34
keys, and no snowmobiles and no skis.
00:48:38
What's that from?
00:48:39
>> No boats, no snowmobiles, and no skis.
00:48:40
What's that from?
00:48:41
>> Me cuz I could finally afford to provide
00:48:42
my family with
00:48:43
>> groceries. Funnier. Sorry,
00:48:45
>> it rhymes.
00:48:45
>> Yeah, you're right.
00:48:46
>> Got a crib full of tracks to add to the
00:48:49
wall full of packs
00:48:51
>> that I keep in the back of my house
00:48:52
house. Like
00:48:54
>> trophies cuz y'all think I'mma let my
00:48:56
dough freeze.
00:48:57
>> Oh, please. You better bow down on
00:48:59
>> both knees. I know this. Okay, now I
00:49:01
like the game. Give me another one. Give
00:49:02
me another one.
00:49:04
>> I know the game. I puke, eat it, and
00:49:06
freak you. Battle, I'm too weed to speak
00:49:08
to. The only key that I see to defeat
00:49:11
you would be for me to remove these two
00:49:12
Adidas and beat you and force feed you
00:49:14
them both. And on each feet is a cleat
00:49:16
shoe.
00:49:21
>> His glasses get really foggy.
00:49:22
>> You know what that you know what that
00:49:23
sound is?
00:49:24
>> All the people at the coffee bean when
00:49:25
you're performing,
00:49:26
>> they all stub their toe
00:49:29
>> and they're trying not to be disruptive.
00:49:32
>> What is your
00:49:33
>> That's a espresso machine. What's your
00:49:35
coffee?
00:49:36
>> I haven't drank coffee since December
00:49:38
23.
00:49:39
>> They're steaming it a lot.
00:49:40
>> Why?
00:49:43
>> I did a cleanse for 10 days and I stayed
00:49:45
off it.
00:49:47
>> I'm super sensitive to drugs and like
00:49:50
weed. I only do a little bit. Coffee.
00:49:52
So, I drink now. Free plug. No joke.
00:49:55
Magic mind. I'm I love it.
00:49:56
>> Yeah, it's great.
00:49:57
>> You keep bringing that up.
00:49:58
>> It's really It's It's I take it
00:49:59
>> you every time I see you about Magic
00:50:01
Magic. I'm not
00:50:02
>> I drink it almost every day. It's my
00:50:03
coffee. Do you have some on you?
00:50:05
>> No. Okay.
00:50:05
>> In you?
00:50:06
>> Yeah. I mean, I had one today.
00:50:08
>> How much How much weed are you taking a
00:50:09
day?
00:50:10
>> I do weed probably between two and four
00:50:12
days a week and I take around 5
00:50:15
milligrams.
00:50:15
>> That's it? Yeah.
00:50:16
>> That's good. Yeah.
00:50:17
>> Something low. Do you ever do the the
00:50:19
little micro dose mushrooms too?
00:50:20
>> I bought them. I haven't done them yet,
00:50:21
but I'm going to start trying them.
00:50:22
>> Phenomenal. Yeah.
00:50:23
>> You know what I take them? I take them
00:50:24
when I go golfing.
00:50:25
>> You micro goes that?
00:50:26
>> It's my favorite thing in the world.
00:50:27
Really? When you when you micro do them,
00:50:29
do you think you are phenomenal? Do you
00:50:31
ever say I am phenomenal? Throw it up.
00:50:33
>> Depends on if I'm making a movie or not.
00:50:36
Uh, I love the way I feel on them in the
00:50:38
morning.
00:50:38
>> Do you guarantee it?
00:50:39
>> I can't.
00:50:41
>> Well, have you tried doing it in a suit?
00:50:42
>> I will.
00:50:45
>> You're going to like the way you feel. I
00:50:47
guarantee.
00:50:47
>> I guarantee it.
00:50:49
>> It is really good, though. It It starts
00:50:50
my day off great. If I go out there and
00:50:52
I stretch and exercise a little bit, it
00:50:53
feels amazing.
00:50:56
>> Rick Glassman. I'm phenomenal. One of
00:50:57
the best music videos of all time.
00:50:59
>> And who produced this? Rick Ross. Is
00:51:02
this a Mayback music hit?
00:51:05
>> That's um a Mayback music hit.
00:51:07
>> God, look at the hair.
00:51:09
>> I remember you then. I know you then.
00:51:11
>> You know, I recently had um uh I won't
00:51:15
say who, but it was an ex-girlfriend who
00:51:17
I I talked to every now and then.
00:51:19
>> Say it.
00:51:19
>> And she said uh I miss you when your
00:51:21
hair is long. I miss like your hair. She
00:51:23
saw that my hair was shorter. And she
00:51:25
said, "I like your hair longer." And
00:51:27
even though I have no idea if I'm ever
00:51:28
gonna see this person again,
00:51:30
>> I think I'm growing it up.
00:51:31
>> Wow.
00:51:32
>> Maybe for her, maybe for you.
00:51:35
>> And Mayback for Rick Ross.
00:51:37
>> May Mayback music.
00:51:39
>> Do you ever mix miss your ex-girlfriends
00:51:41
or No.
00:51:42
>> Uh yeah,
00:51:43
>> you do.
00:51:44
>> Yeah. Some of
00:51:45
>> you think to yourself, what I I [ __ ]
00:51:46
it up or maybe I could have done this
00:51:47
better or
00:51:48
>> I think about what I could have done
00:51:50
better in not exclusively in
00:51:52
relationships, but also in
00:51:53
relationships. Sure. Cuz I I I would
00:51:55
find that it'd be a nightmare dating
00:51:56
you.
00:51:57
>> I believe that.
00:51:57
>> Yeah. Yeah. With all your little rules
00:51:59
at your house.
00:52:00
>> Take your shoes off. Don't touch that.
00:52:02
>> Don't touch that.
00:52:03
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:52:04
>> I wouldn't date somebody who I would
00:52:05
care if you touch stuff. I just don't
00:52:06
want you touching stuff.
00:52:07
>> Unlike dating Bobby. That's
00:52:09
>> Oh, so it's it's a personal thing. When
00:52:11
I go to your house, you're like, "Don't
00:52:12
touch that. You don't want me touching
00:52:14
it?"
00:52:14
>> Well, you do touch everything.
00:52:16
>> When I'm at your house, I'm very [ __ ]
00:52:17
polite.
00:52:18
>> You are very polite because I don't
00:52:19
touch anything.
00:52:19
>> Well, you know, I'll yell at you if you
00:52:21
do.
00:52:21
>> Okay. Yeah.
00:52:21
>> So, I don't touch things. He's actually
00:52:23
he's actually gotten better at not
00:52:24
touching.
00:52:25
>> Yeah,
00:52:25
>> because we do say that when he walks in,
00:52:27
I go, "Don't touch.
00:52:27
>> Don't touch." I
00:52:28
>> remember, "Don't touch."
00:52:30
>> Yeah.
00:52:32
>> Yeah.
00:52:32
>> There's a cow in the living room. Treat
00:52:33
it like a
00:52:35
>> Terry
00:52:35
>> museum.
00:52:37
>> Don't touch.
00:52:38
>> You know, when I was shooting my
00:52:39
special, I lost my voice the Friday. Did
00:52:41
you hear about that?
00:52:42
>> You told me you got steroids. You showed
00:52:43
me wink
00:52:43
>> and I got steroids.
00:52:44
>> He will.
00:52:44
>> And I was really aggressive after that.
00:52:46
>> Yeah. The steroids amped you up.
00:52:47
>> Yeah, a little bit. Yeah.
00:52:48
>> What did you take steroids for?
00:52:50
>> My throat.
00:52:51
You want to get your throat stronger?
00:52:52
>> No. I was losing my voice when I was
00:52:53
shooting my special and I didn't know
00:52:55
what to do Saturday. I woke up in a
00:52:56
panic.
00:52:56
>> Oh, wow. I
00:52:57
>> I lost my voice and so I had a doctor
00:52:59
come over and inject me with some
00:53:00
>> and and and it worked
00:53:02
>> like four or five hours later it did
00:53:03
work. Yeah.
00:53:04
>> Because you could just do subtitles for
00:53:05
your special.
00:53:06
>> Mhm. Another Asian joke.
00:53:08
>> That wasn't an Asian joke.
00:53:09
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:53:09
>> But
00:53:10
>> or maybe get my voice dubbed.
00:53:12
>> Is that what it is? Get my voice dubbed.
00:53:13
>> Are you doing subtitles?
00:53:14
>> Do it.
00:53:15
>> Are you doing subtitles?
00:53:17
>> I thought we were doing a bit.
00:53:18
>> Go ahead. So I'm
00:53:20
>> kid asked teacher if I could use the
00:53:21
bathroom. The teacher says first you
00:53:23
have to sing the alphabet. Kid says
00:53:25
okay.
00:53:26
>> A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O Q R S T U
00:53:33
V W X Y and Z. And the teacher said,
00:53:38
"Oh, now I know my ABC.
00:53:41
Next time, won't you?" And the teacher
00:53:43
says, "What happened to the P?" And the
00:53:45
kid said, "It's running
00:53:47
>> down my leg."
00:53:48
>> The coffee house Denver.
00:53:50
>> Yeah, that's crush.
00:53:52
>> Go get the tickets right now.
00:53:52
coffeethousedenver.comick
00:53:55
rick.
00:53:55
>> Yes.
00:53:57
>> Express.
00:53:59
>> We'll put the link the ticket link in
00:54:00
the description.
00:54:01
>> Yeah,
00:54:02
>> we'll do.
00:54:02
>> It's going to be great.
00:54:02
>> But we're going to hide it. You have to
00:54:03
find it.
00:54:04
>> It's right by the hi ho.
00:54:05
>> Ah, [ __ ] It's hidden.
00:54:07
>> Which is what Mrs. Claus said to Santa
00:54:09
Claus the first time they met.
00:54:10
>> Mhm.
00:54:13
Oh, put the cans up.
00:54:17
All right, so uh I I almost forgot to
00:54:20
bring this up.
00:54:21
>> Okay,
00:54:21
>> so I was driving like a little over the
00:54:26
speed limit. I got pulled over by the
00:54:28
cop.
00:54:28
>> Okay,
00:54:29
>> my driver's license says
00:54:31
uh it says here you need corrective
00:54:33
eyewear.
00:54:35
I wasn't wearing my glasses at the time.
00:54:36
I said, "I'm sorry, sir. Uh I have to
00:54:38
pee and it's running down my pants." Cop
00:54:41
says, "I know that joke."
00:54:44
And then I forgot how the rest goes, but
00:54:46
I will text it to you. Okay.
00:54:50
Okay. Rel
00:54:55
your podcast is number two.
00:54:58
>> That's why my podcast is number two.
00:55:00
>> Mhm.
00:55:01
>> Are you saying it's [ __ ]
00:55:02
>> No.
00:55:03
>> Just But that would be a good [ __ ] joke
00:55:04
if you wanted to stick that landing. You
00:55:06
should have just let that one.
00:55:07
>> Hey, your podcast is great. And I hear
00:55:08
it's it's not the it's not the best, but
00:55:10
it is a number two.
00:55:12
>> Heard your podcast is doing well. Feels
00:55:14
like it's running down your leg.
00:55:16
>> When was the last time you guys pooped
00:55:18
your pants backwards?
00:55:19
>> Yesterday.
00:55:21
>> Really? Or are you still talking about
00:55:23
your love of the Beatles?
00:55:24
>> I was clinching it and I I barely missed
00:55:27
I like 5 seconds in my eye.
00:55:30
>> Yeah.
00:55:31
>> Did it get in the underpants?
00:55:32
>> I ran into my room and it it just a plop
00:55:35
came out.
00:55:36
>> So it didn't get in your underpants?
00:55:37
What?
00:55:37
>> And a question. You ran into your room.
00:55:40
>> Yes.
00:55:40
>> Not the bathroom.
00:55:42
>> I went into the room where the bathroom
00:55:43
is.
00:55:43
>> So the bathroom?
00:55:44
>> No, I entered the room. Plop and then
00:55:46
bathroom.
00:55:47
>> You pooped.
00:55:48
>> Got it.
00:55:48
>> Exactly.
00:55:49
>> I have a funny story about
00:55:51
>> But 5 seconds just I just needed 5
00:55:53
seconds
00:55:54
>> and God didn't give me that.
00:55:56
>> Were you delaying it?
00:55:57
>> Yeah.
00:55:58
>> Yeah.
00:55:59
>> I like that feeling.
00:56:00
>> Did it get in your underpants
00:56:01
>> a little bit? Yeah.
00:56:03
I want to tell you, speaking of
00:56:04
ex-girlfriends, I was dating a girl who
00:56:07
uh lived in London and my mom always
00:56:09
wanted to go to London and flew her out
00:56:11
and this is her first time visiting and
00:56:13
I was at my girlfriend's place and my
00:56:14
mom walked over from her hotel and she
00:56:17
had to use the bathroom and she walks
00:56:19
in, she goes, "I have to use the
00:56:20
bathroom. I have to use the bathroom."
00:56:22
She had only met my girlfriend one time
00:56:24
and she walked to the bathroom and then
00:56:26
she came out after and she said, "I had
00:56:28
a little accident on your rug. I might
00:56:30
have to take this out." I had a little
00:56:32
accident on your rug and uh what do you
00:56:34
want me to do with it? She had the the
00:56:36
bathmat and my ex said throw it away.
00:56:40
But my mom, you know, took her started
00:56:43
taking her pants before she got to the
00:56:45
toilet. So, you know, so it could be
00:56:46
just a smooth sit
00:56:48
>> and much like what Bobby said, it just
00:56:50
kind of popped out a little on the rug.
00:56:53
>> Embarrassing.
00:56:54
>> She wasn't.
00:56:55
>> Yeah,
00:56:57
>> she was embarrassed. I don't know if
00:56:58
she'd love that I said this here, but I
00:57:00
do have an animation.
00:57:01
>> Oh, Ricky, WHY DID YOU DO THAT?
00:57:04
>> I CAN HEAR HER.
00:57:05
>> That's on.
00:57:07
>> Ricky,
00:57:08
>> let me ask her if it's okay if I talk
00:57:10
about it. Oh my god.
00:57:10
>> She'd be [ __ ] living.
00:57:11
>> God, please don't.
00:57:12
>> She going to be so
00:57:13
>> I got to talk to her now. Please don't.
00:57:16
I don't want to.
00:57:17
>> Hi, Mrs. Glassman.
00:57:22
>> Yeah, I like that. Put her on. Mama, I'm
00:57:24
on uh the podcast with Bobby Lee and
00:57:27
Andrew Santino, and we were talking
00:57:29
>> Hi, guys.
00:57:30
>> Hi.
00:57:32
>> Bobby.
00:57:32
>> Hello. And we were talking about the
00:57:35
last time we pooped our pants. And I was
00:57:36
wondering if I have your permission to
00:57:38
talk about when you pooped uh in London
00:57:41
on the rug.
00:57:43
>> Sure. It's such a happy, mature story.
00:57:45
I'm very proud.
00:57:48
>> Also, we
00:57:49
>> you could bring
00:57:50
>> Will you ask dad a quick question?
00:57:52
Didn't dad get pulled over recently and
00:57:53
they said that he needed his glasses?
00:57:55
Dad, what happened?
00:57:56
>> Well, he looked at my driver's license
00:57:58
and he said it's it says you need
00:58:01
glasses and I said I have contacts.
00:58:05
>> I thought that's what happened. All
00:58:06
right. I love you, Dad.
00:58:08
Talk to you later.
00:58:10
>> All right.
00:58:11
>> Love you.
00:58:12
>> I love you,
00:58:14
>> Bob. Show them the trophy that I gave
00:58:15
you. Show them the thing that I got from
00:58:16
Howie Mandel for you. This was a gift.
00:58:20
Pretty cool. You like mosquitoes?
00:58:22
>> You ever gotten one of those?
00:58:24
>> No. I love mosquitoes.
00:58:26
>> How he gave it to me.
00:58:26
>> Really? How he did? He loves mosquitoes.
00:58:28
>> I actually stole it from his studio for
00:58:30
you and he told me not to take it and I
00:58:31
did anyway. He was really upset, Bill.
00:58:33
>> Yeah, but he does that [ __ ] He [ __ ]
00:58:34
with us all the time. So, I figured I
00:58:36
should [ __ ] with him on your behalf.
00:58:37
>> Yeah. So, how this is mine forever.
00:58:38
>> He actually said, "Is Bobby still mad at
00:58:40
me?" I said, "You better believe it."
00:58:41
>> Yeah.
00:58:42
>> Really?
00:58:42
>> Yeah.
00:58:43
>> Good.
00:58:43
>> He thinks we're still mad.
00:58:44
>> It's fun.
00:58:44
>> Well, you are.
00:58:45
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:58:46
>> But yeah. So, I stole that and he asked
00:58:47
me he asked me to not take it and I did.
00:58:49
>> Okay.
00:58:53
You got to talk because I gotta go. All
00:58:55
right. Do you maybe want to not do that
00:58:57
by the microphone?
00:59:02
>> No, it's
00:59:03
>> he it is uh um
00:59:05
>> Exactly.
00:59:06
>> It's a child, right? And we all have our
00:59:08
weak points. I know I have plenty.
00:59:10
>> I have so many.
00:59:11
>> But Bobby is really like he's looking
00:59:13
for candy in his bag of toys. He's he's
00:59:16
he's probably his blood sugar is a
00:59:17
little low right now.
00:59:18
>> That's his backpack. He went to school.
00:59:25
>> Bob, say say um say goodbye to Ricky if
00:59:28
you want to go.
00:59:28
>> I love you, Ricky. Um thanks for you
00:59:31
know I mean um
00:59:33
>> I do know what you mean.
00:59:34
>> Yeah. Thank you for um attending
00:59:38
>> our podcast. What a pleasure. Um it was
00:59:41
a surprise. I didn't know you were
00:59:42
coming.
00:59:43
>> Are you eating a little candy while
00:59:44
you're telling me?
00:59:45
>> Yeah, I am.
00:59:45
>> Or there's original.
00:59:46
>> It's Milky. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, good
00:59:49
luck.
00:59:51
>> Take care.
00:59:55
>> I'm sure it's going to be great.
00:59:56
>> You You reach your limit, huh?
00:59:58
>> I have I can't do this anymore.
01:00:00
>> What do you think it is about resist?
01:00:01
>> I'm completely out. So have a good time.
01:00:04
You can continue doing it. You know what
01:00:05
I mean? I'm just not going to
01:00:06
participate.
01:00:07
>> Okay.
01:00:07
>> Okay.
01:00:11
>> Could I see what it's like to be like a
01:00:13
co-host of Bad Friends?
01:00:14
>> Would love it
01:00:14
>> a little bit.
01:00:15
>> Thank you.
01:00:16
>> All right. So, uh, what we normally do
01:00:18
toward the end of the show is we think
01:00:20
of some of our favorite hopes and
01:00:22
dreams.
01:00:22
>> That's right.
01:00:23
>> And we give hints to the other person
01:00:26
and we see if the other person could
01:00:27
fill in that hope and dream. And it's a
01:00:29
fun activity to see if they know what
01:00:30
we're thinking. But it also it lets us
01:00:32
feel like, oh, they're helping us with
01:00:34
our hopes and dreams. So, I'll I'll let
01:00:36
you start.
01:00:38
>> Uh, something that I'm feeling right now
01:00:40
is a need to be in a place.
01:00:43
>> You have to take a poop.
01:00:45
>> All right. Am I right?
01:00:46
>> Yeah, that's my hope. I'm going to hope
01:00:48
I can poop.
01:00:49
>> I also learned um from an ex of mine
01:00:52
that when you're sitting on the toilet,
01:00:53
you could take toilet paper and you
01:00:55
could place it on your butthole or um if
01:00:58
you're beas bung hole and you just corn
01:01:03
holio, right? Uh and you kind of press
01:01:05
with your fingers and just kind of
01:01:06
massage your butthole.
01:01:07
>> Yeah, sure. And then also I shoot water
01:01:10
up my ass uh with my bedet and then it
01:01:13
pours out and I have to assume as it's
01:01:16
coming out poop is coming with it.
01:01:18
>> Not always. You'd be surprised.
01:01:21
>> All right. Well, thank you for being a
01:01:23
bad friend.
01:01:31
Woo!
01:01:34
Yeah!
01:01:36
Woo!
