00:00:00
You two are bad friends.
00:00:01
>> Who are these two idiots?
00:00:03
>> A white dude and an Asian dude. You two
00:00:07
are disgusting.
00:00:09
>> Oh, you two or something.
00:00:10
>> We're bad friends.
00:00:12
>> What are you doing here?
00:00:13
>> I'm back, baby.
00:00:17
>> Richie.
00:00:17
>> Richie, you're back. I mean, I see I
00:00:20
have eyeballs. I see you. You know what
00:00:21
I mean? But why are you back?
00:00:23
>> Cover in front.
00:00:23
>> I don't even know if I like it.
00:00:25
>> No.
00:00:25
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:00:26
>> You know what? We should get a We should
00:00:28
get an email to say who's coming.
00:00:31
>> We should
00:00:31
>> because when I walked in here, I kind of
00:00:33
had like a little bit of a traumatic,
00:00:34
you know, response thing.
00:00:36
>> It's triggering.
00:00:36
>> Yeah.
00:00:37
>> I thought we had a positive
00:00:38
relationship.
00:00:38
>> No, because one time did we talk about
00:00:40
when I was on stage and then you were on
00:00:41
the
00:00:42
>> Oh, no. We didn't. But
00:00:44
>> I'm in the main room. I
00:00:45
>> You're in the main room and what
00:00:47
happened?
00:00:47
>> And then I I'm doing okay. I look to my
00:00:49
right. There's Richie in the front row.
00:00:52
>> Why are you sitting in the front row?
00:00:53
>> Well, I Well, I didn't mean to. I got
00:00:55
tickets cuz my friend was in town and
00:00:57
he's a huge comedy fan. So I was like,
00:00:58
"Oh, cool. Let's go to the store."
00:00:59
>> He wasn't laughing. He just had a
00:01:01
permanent smile. This is what he was
00:01:03
doing.
00:01:04
>> Yeah. Freaky.
00:01:05
>> Freaky, dude. Freaking me out, dude.
00:01:07
>> Well, I was nervous.
00:01:08
>> YOU'RE A FREAK.
00:01:09
>> NO,
00:01:10
>> you are.
00:01:11
>> You're a freak, dude.
00:01:12
>> Yeah. I saw Mighty Supreme.
00:01:14
>> I heard it's good.
00:01:15
>> It's great.
00:01:16
>> Yeah.
00:01:16
>> It's like five movies in one.
00:01:19
>> Are you being positive or ne negative?
00:01:20
>> Positive. It's a lot of It's a long It's
00:01:22
a lot of stories in one. We discussed
00:01:24
this the other day. It's a lot. It's
00:01:25
awesome, but it's like a lot of film.
00:01:26
You could have made
00:01:28
>> People get annoyed by this. You could
00:01:29
have made a great um limited run series
00:01:32
TV show out of it. Oh, I see.
00:01:33
>> Because there's so many sub stories
00:01:34
going on, like so many different stories
00:01:37
>> that like, you know, you could have this
00:01:39
could have been stretched out.
00:01:40
>> Did you see it?
00:01:41
>> No.
00:01:41
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:01:42
>> I can't believe you didn't see it.
00:01:43
>> Um I'm really full of anxiety right now.
00:01:47
>> Why?
00:01:48
>> Cuz next week's the weekend.
00:01:49
>> What is it?
00:01:50
>> My special.
00:01:52
Oh,
00:01:52
>> I know you're taping,
00:01:53
>> you know. So, can I say something funny
00:01:55
that happened a couple days ago?
00:01:56
>> I call Abby, my manager,
00:01:58
>> and she I go,
00:01:59
>> "Does she have a phone?"
00:02:01
>> No, I do a smoke thing.
00:02:04
>> Bobby needs me.
00:02:05
>> Yeah. I um I go, "Well, what about intro
00:02:09
music, right? How much does that cost?"
00:02:12
And this and that. And she goes,
00:02:15
she goes, "Why don't you just use a
00:02:17
public domain song
00:02:19
>> like a just like a from a from a free
00:02:20
library?"
00:02:21
>> Imagine this. Ladies and gentlemen, boys
00:02:24
and girls, Bobby Lee, take me out to the
00:02:28
ball game.
00:02:30
>> Look up the Amazing Grace one.
00:02:33
>> Happy birthday to That'd be such a funny
00:02:36
song to come out to.
00:02:37
>> Yeah. Yeah. I mean, public domain. I
00:02:39
mean, it would give you like a couple of
00:02:41
minutes up top to joke about it if you
00:02:42
did happy birthday.
00:02:43
>> Yeah, maybe.
00:02:44
>> If you're like, "Hey, man, we can't
00:02:45
afford it." See how elaborate this is?
00:02:48
>> Yeah.
00:02:48
>> Are you excited to shoot?
00:02:50
>> Uh, I don't know if excited is the word.
00:02:52
It's just like anxiet a lot of anxiety.
00:02:54
Really?
00:02:55
>> You've worked so hard on this. The hour
00:02:57
is going to be [ __ ] amazing. It's
00:02:58
going to break records.
00:02:59
>> You know, it's not. But, um,
00:03:00
>> it's going to get nominated. It's going
00:03:02
to break records. It's going to be the
00:03:03
highest viewed special on Hulu in
00:03:05
history.
00:03:06
>> I have really bad jokes in it.
00:03:09
Well, that doesn't mean it's not going
00:03:11
to be watched.
00:03:12
>> You know what I mean?
00:03:13
>> Yeah.
00:03:14
>> Plenty of things that were bad were
00:03:15
watched by a lot of people.
00:03:16
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:03:17
>> You know.
00:03:17
>> Yeah. That's true.
00:03:18
>> Yeah. It happens all the time.
00:03:19
>> Yeah. Okay. So, bad is good,
00:03:22
>> right? Bad is good.
00:03:23
>> Michael Jackson. Bad. Good.
00:03:25
>> Yeah.
00:03:25
>> So bad it was. He I mean bad
00:03:28
to name an album. Bad.
00:03:30
>> Yeah.
00:03:31
>> Is good.
00:03:31
>> Yeah. It's good.
00:03:32
>> So, it should be Bobby Lee. Bad.
00:03:33
>> Yeah. Bad. Yeah.
00:03:34
>> Everyone's going. The family.
00:03:36
>> The family's going. Yeah. I'm sorry I
00:03:38
can't be there.
00:03:38
>> It's okay.
00:03:39
>> I saw her in Hawaii swimming in the
00:03:42
ocean.
00:03:43
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:03:44
>> I saw Bro Shaka. Ocean girl.
00:03:47
>> Ocean girly.
00:03:49
>> You're swimming for like three days
00:03:51
straight. Huh?
00:03:51
>> Mhm.
00:03:52
>> That's got to be so freeing. How nice
00:03:53
she gets to do that.
00:03:54
>> Yeah.
00:03:55
>> No responsibility.
00:03:55
>> No responsibility.
00:03:56
>> Just swim in the ocean for three days.
00:03:58
>> Yeah, man. Hey everybody, I use AB.
00:04:02
>> Yeah, man. Look at how silky my hair is.
00:04:05
Oh my
00:04:05
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:04:06
>> Shout out to company, EBB.
00:04:08
>> Doing commercial.
00:04:08
>> The commercials are great.
00:04:09
>> Yeah.
00:04:10
>> Yeah. You're acting. I see her acting in
00:04:12
it now.
00:04:13
>> Are there any times where she's making
00:04:14
you do it and you don't want to do it?
00:04:17
>> Sometimes.
00:04:18
>> And she convinces you.
00:04:19
>> Yeah.
00:04:20
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:04:20
>> How long when you go out to the ocean
00:04:22
and you guys go for a dive day or
00:04:23
whatever, how long are you in the in the
00:04:25
water for?
00:04:26
>> I think max is like four or five.
00:04:28
>> Five hours is a long time.
00:04:29
>> A long time being in the water. But they
00:04:31
can just live out there.
00:04:32
>> Well, they're from down there.
00:04:33
>> Yeah, I know. No, but they love the
00:04:34
water.
00:04:35
>> You were born underwater, weren't you?
00:04:37
>> Your mom had you underwater.
00:04:39
>> Yeah.
00:04:39
>> Can I tell you the greatest moment of my
00:04:42
life?
00:04:43
>> I better be included.
00:04:44
>> You were not there.
00:04:47
>> You're absolutely not there. You're not
00:04:49
there.
00:04:50
>> Interesting.
00:04:51
>> It's like um one of the most peaceful
00:04:53
moments of my life.
00:04:54
>> No, I wasn't there. Yeah.
00:04:55
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No,
00:04:57
>> when you're around I get throat like you
00:04:59
know what I mean? Lump in your throat.
00:05:00
You throat. Yeah. I get sore.
00:05:02
>> Yeah. Me, too.
00:05:02
>> Yeah. Yeah, you get the Right. I know. I
00:05:05
know. Me, too. My whole body hurts
00:05:06
>> when I said when you were on me.
00:05:07
>> Oh, yeah.
00:05:08
>> Oh, yeah. Me, too. Yeah.
00:05:11
>> Yeah.
00:05:12
>> So, um, we all went to the Philippines
00:05:15
and, uh,
00:05:17
>> nothing.
00:05:18
>> And you know how they have like millions
00:05:19
of the not million, but thousands of
00:05:21
little islands? Yeah. Around.
00:05:23
>> You can take a little boat, you know, I
00:05:24
mean, to like a super small island,
00:05:26
>> right? Like
00:05:27
>> a beautiful day.
00:05:28
>> And um,
00:05:29
>> what's on those little tiny islands? One
00:05:31
tree sometimes.
00:05:32
>> That's it.
00:05:33
>> Yeah. Yeah. Like one or two trees.
00:05:35
>> Wow.
00:05:36
>> Yeah. So, we went on this island and I
00:05:38
was It so blew the water.
00:05:40
>> Yeah.
00:05:40
>> Yeah.
00:05:41
>> And I was floating on my back
00:05:43
>> in the water, right?
00:05:45
>> Where it's like, you know, I mean, you
00:05:46
can you can hear the ocean
00:05:48
>> bobbing in and out of your face,
00:05:49
>> but you can also hear the people. So,
00:05:51
they were like playing games on the on
00:05:52
the beach.
00:05:53
>> That's where you were. So you could
00:05:54
hear, you know what I mean, them just
00:05:56
you just hear laughter and joy, but
00:05:59
you're also hearing the sea,
00:06:01
>> right? And I closed my eyes and it was
00:06:04
the ultimate
00:06:06
piece pe piece I've ever felt
00:06:09
>> and and joy.
00:06:10
>> It was nirvana. You were
00:06:12
>> Yeah. But you know um when I was so
00:06:14
funny but when I was at um that
00:06:17
treatment center for trauma
00:06:19
>> right we you know we did this thing
00:06:20
where it's like if you do this right and
00:06:23
you think about your um that one that
00:06:25
was my experience thinking of think of
00:06:27
an experience where you're truly
00:06:29
peaceful and I I got hypnotized and if I
00:06:32
do this apparently it takes me back but
00:06:34
it never works.
00:06:36
>> Yeah. It never works.
00:06:37
>> It never does. Yeah.
00:06:39
>> I'm there.
00:06:39
>> Yeah. But it's like um Yeah.
00:06:42
>> Yeah. I'm there.
00:06:43
>> Exactly.
00:06:45
>> What's your most peaceful moment?
00:06:47
>> I think I talked about on the show. It
00:06:49
was uh
00:06:50
>> Had we done Bad Friends yet?
00:06:51
>> I think it was just at the beginning.
00:06:53
>> Okay.
00:06:54
>> And then I um No, right before. It was
00:06:56
actually right before. It might have
00:06:57
been six years ago. Okay.
00:06:58
>> And I hung out with these people and had
00:07:00
a great day. Then I met up with Durmer
00:07:01
and got some phenomenal seafood. And
00:07:03
then we went to Alkai Beach and rented
00:07:06
um uh longboards, you know, paddle
00:07:10
boards. And I went out on the board and
00:07:11
I was just laying out there in the
00:07:13
ocean. It's a similar oddly similar
00:07:15
story. And I was just laying on it just
00:07:16
kind of letting the slow slow wake take
00:07:19
me and I was like I could die right now.
00:07:22
>> Alkai Beach. It was one of those moments
00:07:25
that I just I don't know why it was
00:07:28
perfect. It was just beautiful and
00:07:30
perfect out on the water. There
00:07:34
something about it. It was weird. It was
00:07:35
like everything aligned. And then the
00:07:36
show that night was [ __ ] awesome.
00:07:39
>> Yeah. It was at that club in Seattle.
00:07:41
>> Parlor Live.
00:07:41
>> Yeah. Parlor.
00:07:42
>> Yeah. I love that club.
00:07:43
>> Where you had to go through the bar?
00:07:44
>> Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was the That
00:07:46
was the club where that um native guy
00:07:48
didn't let me in. Remember?
00:07:49
>> Oh, yeah.
00:07:50
>> Yeah. That's the same club.
00:07:51
>> That's right.
00:07:52
>> Well, they closed down.
00:07:53
>> I know they did.
00:07:54
>> That's because of you.
00:07:57
>> No. Yes. You got that native a big deal.
00:07:59
>> Yeah. Yeah. Anyway.
00:08:00
>> Yeah. They That's your most peaceful.
00:08:01
>> That was just a moment that like you
00:08:03
reminded me of when I I've talked about
00:08:05
that before. It just made me feel like
00:08:07
>> Amen. Everything is okay.
00:08:09
>> Yeah.
00:08:10
>> And it was for a little bit. What's your
00:08:12
most peaceful moment?
00:08:15
>> Um,
00:08:15
>> but you can't include the water cuz we
00:08:17
already did that.
00:08:20
>> It usually does.
00:08:21
>> I know. You're right. You can do include
00:08:23
water.
00:08:23
>> I think the first time I've um free
00:08:26
dived with Atalai and I was able to go
00:08:29
really deep and I just stayed there for
00:08:31
like a long time.
00:08:32
>> How long can you hold your breath for?
00:08:34
>> Not that long. Maybe just like a minute
00:08:36
and like a half or something.
00:08:37
>> So you stayed down there for about a
00:08:38
minute.
00:08:39
>> You were peaceful for 45 seconds.
00:08:40
>> Yeah,
00:08:42
>> it was so nice.
00:08:44
>> Oh,
00:08:44
>> and did you come back up and you felt
00:08:46
like I want to keep going down as far as
00:08:47
I can?
00:08:48
>> Mhm.
00:08:48
>> And
00:08:49
>> the free dive thing scares me.
00:08:51
>> Yeah.
00:08:52
>> Two to two. No, no, no. I belong up top.
00:08:54
>> Was the swimming of the sharks up when
00:08:56
we used to do that [ __ ]
00:08:58
>> That was so fun.
00:08:59
>> I know. It's [ __ ]
00:09:00
>> That was so nice.
00:09:01
>> You don't need to swim with those guys.
00:09:02
>> I'm not doing that anymore. It just
00:09:04
doesn't make sense.
00:09:04
>> Yeah.
00:09:05
>> I'm going to swim with that really big
00:09:07
great white shark.
00:09:08
>> Okay.
00:09:10
>> Aren't they all big?
00:09:11
>> No. Like the this one is like the
00:09:14
>> like one that that one lady does.
00:09:16
>> Yeah.
00:09:16
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What's her name?
00:09:18
>> I first
00:09:18
>> I saw that documentary. That lady that
00:09:20
swims with the great white sharks.
00:09:21
>> Yeah, that one.
00:09:22
>> What is that for? What do you get out of
00:09:24
that besides almost killed?
00:09:25
>> Well, a relationship. You can develop a
00:09:27
relationship.
00:09:28
>> This isn't the octopus teacher.
00:09:30
>> I know. Look at that. Would you do that?
00:09:32
Oh, cool.
00:09:33
>> Would I do that?
00:09:35
>> I mean,
00:09:36
>> in what [ __ ] world would I want? Look
00:09:38
at how fat that guy is.
00:09:40
>> Get him on a GLP1.
00:09:42
>> Yeah,
00:09:43
>> but he hasn't died, so it means she The
00:09:45
shark's fine.
00:09:46
>> Yeah, he's eating everything in sight.
00:09:47
>> Yeah,
00:09:48
>> he'll live forever.
00:09:48
>> She's got a bag of In-N-Out burgers.
00:09:51
>> Is that what
00:09:52
>> you can't You can't see it, but Yeah.
00:09:54
>> Double trouble.
00:09:55
>> Yeah.
00:09:56
>> By the way, he he that is a fat [ __ ]
00:09:58
shark, dude.
00:09:59
>> Dude, that
00:10:00
>> Oh, he's a little cho. So scary.
00:10:02
>> So cool.
00:10:03
>> He's so fat he can't turn around,
00:10:04
though. He can't get you if you're
00:10:06
behind him.
00:10:06
>> Yeah.
00:10:07
>> I mean, no. Absolutely not. What's cool
00:10:09
about that? That thing. Don't they They
00:10:10
kill humans.
00:10:12
>> I don't mind.
00:10:13
>> You don't mind being killed?
00:10:15
>> No.
00:10:15
>> I mean, they'll tear off an arm.
00:10:18
>> What a bummer.
00:10:20
>> That's a bummer.
00:10:20
>> That's a bummer. Yeah. Huge bummer to
00:10:22
lose. Yeah, you're right. You're right.
00:10:23
If you're going to lose a limb, which
00:10:24
one are you going to lose?
00:10:26
>> My left leg. I don't know.
00:10:27
>> Left leg is good. Yeah. It's pretty
00:10:28
useless, I guess. I understand that.
00:10:30
Ocean Ramsey
00:10:31
>> because you can hide prosthetic legs
00:10:34
with the new high-tech, you know what I
00:10:36
mean?
00:10:36
>> Great tech
00:10:37
>> prosthetics, right?
00:10:38
>> Yeah.
00:10:38
>> So, you could wear jeans, put a
00:10:40
prosthetic on. You can still kind of,
00:10:42
you know what I mean?
00:10:43
>> Walk around, right? But with an arm, I
00:10:46
think it's harder to hide.
00:10:47
>> It's impossible.
00:10:47
>> Yeah. Although the hands now are looking
00:10:49
pretty realistic. They're getting
00:10:50
better.
00:10:50
>> Yeah. But you can't go like this or, you
00:10:52
know what I mean? Or shaka or anything
00:10:53
like that.
00:10:54
>> You can't do You can't do shaka.
00:10:55
>> No shaka.
00:10:57
Or unless you can go you can do sh if
00:10:59
you bend it push it down.
00:11:00
>> You push it down
00:11:01
>> like it's kingpin with that fake hand.
00:11:04
>> Like let me see.
00:11:05
>> Yeah, they're getting really good.
00:11:06
>> Whoa.
00:11:07
>> Whoa. Dude,
00:11:08
>> that's me.
00:11:09
>> Look at how Wow. I can't really It's
00:11:11
getting It's getting good. Yeah.
00:11:13
>> The amount of these that are going to
00:11:14
get stuck up someone's ass though.
00:11:16
>> Yeah.
00:11:16
>> The rubber one. See, that's why you need
00:11:17
metal. So there's no tempted. It's
00:11:19
>> so You kind of want You lose a hand just
00:11:21
to get that.
00:11:22
>> No, you don't.
00:11:22
>> Yeah. Look at how cool that looks.
00:11:24
>> Okay, dude.
00:11:25
>> You know what I mean?
00:11:26
You can leave. How it's mind controlled
00:11:28
bionic arm. So your brain is now
00:11:30
>> your brain does it.
00:11:32
>> And now Nike has that one shoe where has
00:11:34
it's attached to your ankle and it helps
00:11:35
you
00:11:36
>> what?
00:11:37
>> Right.
00:11:38
>> Yeah.
00:11:38
>> Nike has a shoe that like is
00:11:40
>> that you can now get where it's like I
00:11:42
think it helps you walk.
00:11:44
>> What?
00:11:44
>> It gives you more propulsion. I don't
00:11:46
know what the word is. Um
00:11:48
>> Yeah. Propulsion's got to be right.
00:11:49
>> Yeah. Yeah. That
00:11:52
>> Wow. So it straps onto your ankles.
00:11:54
>> Yeah. your ankle onto the shoe
00:11:57
>> and it makes you go faster.
00:11:58
>> Mhm.
00:11:59
>> I don't know if it makes you go f It
00:12:00
can.
00:12:01
>> It can, I think. Yeah.
00:12:02
>> Oh, let's get those. How much are those?
00:12:06
>> You're going to get it, right?
00:12:06
>> I might.
00:12:07
>> I know.
00:12:08
>> How much are those? [ __ ]
00:12:10
>> It looks awesome.
00:12:11
>> I know.
00:12:13
>> I mean, that's incred or even planning
00:12:15
on coming out yet?
00:12:16
>> Okay. Hey, Nike.
00:12:17
>> Yeah.
00:12:18
>> Send these to us.
00:12:19
>> Yeah, those are cool.
00:12:20
>> Let us be the first. Let us be the test
00:12:22
rabbits for the Imagine they have like
00:12:24
world champion runners doing them and
00:12:25
then they send them to us.
00:12:27
>> Yeah, these are supposed to calm your
00:12:29
mind down. They come out this week. When
00:12:31
you step on it, it hits those balls and
00:12:33
it sends uh something to your brain and
00:12:35
it relaxes you.
00:12:37
>> They're called the Nike Mind Twos.
00:12:39
>> I want those two.
00:12:39
>> I want those two, dude. They're doing
00:12:41
it.
00:12:41
>> How do they keep doing it?
00:12:42
>> I don't know. They got to be stealing
00:12:43
from Japanese people.
00:12:44
>> There's no Yeah. No, that's definitely
00:12:46
[ __ ]
00:12:47
>> stolen from Japanese.
00:12:47
>> Chiropra Noi. What's it called? Um with
00:12:51
it with the needles
00:12:51
>> acupuncture
00:12:52
>> acupuncture like all the nerves and
00:12:54
>> stealing from the Japanese.
00:12:55
>> They're just stealing from it.
00:12:57
>> Yeah. Um dude that
00:12:59
>> Wow.
00:13:00
>> I really want
00:13:00
>> But do you think it's psychological?
00:13:02
>> Of course.
00:13:02
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:13:03
>> It's placebo, but it also but also
00:13:05
they've shown that like as the shoe has
00:13:07
advanced, it does do really good things
00:13:09
for your like when you're running long
00:13:10
distances like a really good running
00:13:12
shoe does things well for your brain
00:13:15
>> because there's so much in your feet.
00:13:17
>> Yeah.
00:13:17
>> There's so much in your feet. It's got,
00:13:19
have you ever seen like the reflexology
00:13:21
stuff about like when they find these
00:13:22
trigger points in your feet and all it
00:13:24
like one one thing is release of stress
00:13:25
at certain places and something it's all
00:13:27
connected.
00:13:28
>> Like this works when you do this for
00:13:29
headaches and stuff. Why does that work?
00:13:31
>> I don't know why that works.
00:13:32
>> I don't want to know. That freaks me
00:13:33
out. Like we found out where the
00:13:35
motherboard is.
00:13:35
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But maybe those
00:13:38
shoes we got to get those. Get get those
00:13:39
for us.
00:13:40
>> Please get those for us. Yeah.
00:13:41
>> What What else is other high-tech shoes
00:13:43
that are coming out?
00:13:44
>> We got to get more shoes. I used to have
00:13:45
Nikes that were Bluetooth Nikes.
00:13:48
>> They speakers.
00:13:50
>> No, they uh they just tied like from an
00:13:53
app. Like I would put them on and they
00:13:54
would get tight when I would press tie
00:13:56
my shoe.
00:13:56
>> Oh, that's cool.
00:13:57
>> That's kind of cool.
00:13:57
>> That's like auto laces from Back to the
00:13:59
Future.
00:13:59
>> Ex. Yeah, I had that.
00:14:00
>> You had those shoes?
00:14:02
>> No, I had like the modern version years
00:14:04
ago.
00:14:04
>> Or what the tennis shoe that turns into
00:14:06
skates?
00:14:07
>> Sick.
00:14:08
>> No, but there's like
00:14:08
>> ice skates or roller skates.
00:14:10
>> Roller skates. But they're getting
00:14:11
better now, I think.
00:14:12
>> Yeah, those the mags. The Nike Mags.
00:14:14
Those are the ones from Back to the
00:14:15
Future.
00:14:16
>> What do those do?
00:14:17
>> Self-lacing. Remember from Back to the
00:14:18
Future?
00:14:19
>> Wow.
00:14:19
>> You know what I really wanted? Those
00:14:21
were sick. But I also wanted the drying
00:14:23
jacket.
00:14:24
>> Drying mode. I just thought that was so
00:14:26
cool. And it came out. It's like you
00:14:28
come out of the rain like
00:14:30
>> it dried.
00:14:31
>> And how far away from hoverboard?
00:14:33
>> What the [ __ ] are they waiting for?
00:14:34
>> Okay. What are WE LET'S GET THAT GOING.
00:14:36
>> YEAH. WELL, how are we?
00:14:37
>> Yeah. Why are we not doing hoverboard?
00:14:39
>> They invented that 30 years ago in film.
00:14:41
We can't get it done. No, that's not the
00:14:42
thing. That's not the hoverboard, dude.
00:14:44
>> I clicked on shopping.
00:14:46
>> They're They got to be close to getting
00:14:48
this.
00:14:48
>> Well, if you make the ground like
00:14:49
magnet, you know,
00:14:50
>> then you can do it.
00:14:51
>> Then you can do it.
00:14:51
>> But think about how do you slow down or
00:14:53
stop?
00:14:54
>> Oh, right.
00:14:56
>> You're [ __ ]
00:14:56
>> You're [ __ ] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:14:58
>> You know, like they're creating the
00:14:59
train that goes from LA to Vegas. It
00:15:02
doesn't it use magnets? Isn't it magnet
00:15:04
propulsion?
00:15:04
>> Let me ask you something. Okay. Would
00:15:05
you rather, you know, I mean, us
00:15:08
um focus our energy on either high-tech
00:15:12
stuff just for like everyday household
00:15:14
goods or only high-tech stuff for your
00:15:16
health?
00:15:18
>> Oh, that's such a good question.
00:15:20
>> You know what I mean?
00:15:21
>> Cuz I think the health is probably more
00:15:22
beneficial, but my god, would it be
00:15:24
better around the house stuff?
00:15:25
>> Yeah. Yeah. Like I mean, talking about
00:15:26
hoverboards, you know what I mean? All
00:15:28
that kind of stuff, you know what I
00:15:29
mean? But it's like,
00:15:29
>> yeah, [ __ ] health. Let's do that.
00:15:32
>> We're all going to die. I know, but
00:15:34
health you you could extend your life
00:15:35
for 20 more years.
00:15:36
>> Why?
00:15:37
>> Exactly.
00:15:38
>> Cuz if you're 100, you're going to feel
00:15:39
like [ __ ]
00:15:40
>> Yeah.
00:15:40
>> There's no way. Cuz they can't make your
00:15:42
bones get younger.
00:15:43
>> Yeah.
00:15:44
>> But what if they can?
00:15:45
>> No, they can't.
00:15:46
>> Can you like improve your body and just
00:15:48
get you abs? And like
00:15:49
>> I think one day they're going to give us
00:15:50
an ability to take your [ __ ] brain
00:15:53
and get a new body.
00:15:54
>> Well, they're doing already doing head
00:15:56
transplants.
00:15:57
>> Richie's interested.
00:15:58
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:15:59
>> This guy loves heads.
00:16:02
>> Yeah. You They're experimenting with it,
00:16:03
but it's like would you Okay, if you
00:16:06
>> no successful lasting head transplant
00:16:07
with animal experiment showing limited
00:16:09
survival days to weeks and partial
00:16:10
function, but I'm telling you, dude,
00:16:13
they're going to get there.
00:16:13
>> They're going to get there.
00:16:14
>> Whose body do you want?
00:16:15
>> Okay, so what? No. No. Okay, here's a
00:16:17
good question. Very. Now, listen. I'm
00:16:19
thinking I'm more if they preserved it.
00:16:22
I'm more Gary Coleman.
00:16:26
>> I've always wanted to be a little black
00:16:28
guy.
00:16:29
>> What do you think?
00:16:30
>> Yeah.
00:16:31
>> Yeah. Yeah. That is such a good lineup.
00:16:33
>> Your Asian head on a little black body.
00:16:35
>> The black body would be so I'd be on a
00:16:36
sitcom right away.
00:16:37
>> Right away.
00:16:38
>> Yeah, I mean
00:16:38
>> the work you
00:16:39
>> Hey everybody,
00:16:42
>> Mr. Cooper, stop.
00:16:46
>> Yeah, I mean that'd be cool. What? What?
00:16:48
What body would you want?
00:16:48
>> Wait a minute. World's first volunteer
00:16:50
of head transplant fails to accept the
00:16:51
surgery for a lack of funds from Russia.
00:16:53
So this guy was down to do it.
00:16:56
>> Oh. So he could get a a able body as
00:16:59
well.
00:16:59
>> What?
00:17:00
>> What? because he's
00:17:02
>> Yeah.
00:17:02
>> Yeah. Yeah. He He wants a new body
00:17:04
because he's he's
00:17:05
>> fully paraplegic.
00:17:06
>> Parapillegic. Yeah. Yeah.
00:17:06
>> Right. So, he wants a mobile body. But
00:17:08
even if you did give it to him, he
00:17:10
wouldn't know what to do with it.
00:17:12
>> What do you mean?
00:17:13
>> He's never had one. What does he I mean,
00:17:18
>> well, you could go dancing with Richie.
00:17:21
Him
00:17:24
and Richard are both doing the same
00:17:25
thing.
00:17:29
>> Blood vessels are being linked with
00:17:30
tubes. So they So they're trying to do
00:17:32
it.
00:17:33
>> Yeah.
00:17:34
>> But this is old. They've they've been
00:17:35
tried. This was over a decade ago. They
00:17:36
tried with this Russian.
00:17:37
>> But no, but now I think they're it's
00:17:39
it's about to happen. I think
00:17:41
>> we're going to do it.
00:17:42
>> Yeah. Yeah. Try.
00:17:43
>> Are we really going to do it? I mean, by
00:17:45
the way, Russia, shout out. They would
00:17:46
try it first. Yeah, we will try. [ __ ]
00:17:48
us.
00:17:49
>> They don't give a [ __ ]
00:17:50
>> They don't give a [ __ ] Yeah. Yeah,
00:17:51
>> how it's supposed to work theoretically
00:17:53
cooling both donor and recipient heads
00:17:54
and bodies are cooled to slow cell death
00:17:56
connection key blood vessels uh the
00:17:58
jugulars and the karate are connected to
00:18:00
first maintain blood flow to the brain
00:18:02
potentially using a special plasma
00:18:03
spinal cord fusion because we do those
00:18:05
don't we do fusion spinal cord fusion
00:18:07
now for people that get in like tra
00:18:09
tragic car accidents and stuff
00:18:10
>> other connections and nerves and trachea
00:18:12
esophagus are reconnected
00:18:13
>> but so but you're kept in a coma for
00:18:16
weeks to allow the healing for the body
00:18:17
and then they hope you can come out of
00:18:18
it
00:18:19
>> but where do you get the body though
00:18:20
does Somebody volunteered like you can
00:18:21
have my body. I'm going to die.
00:18:22
>> I'm sure it's someone that just died.
00:18:24
>> But from died from what though? That
00:18:26
would depend. You know what I mean? Like
00:18:27
I don't want his body.
00:18:28
>> Okay. If you go
00:18:30
if you get into a car accident, right?
00:18:32
That's how they use all your organ
00:18:33
parts. If you're still young and good.
00:18:35
>> Yeah. But the body's damaged if you're
00:18:36
in a car accident. If you died from
00:18:37
impact from a car accident, the body's
00:18:39
no good. That's my point. Where do you
00:18:40
get the body?
00:18:40
>> Gunshot to the head.
00:18:42
>> Okay. That's the only scenario.
00:18:43
>> Gunshot to the head. Keep the body on
00:18:44
ice. Would you donate your head to
00:18:46
science jewels?
00:18:47
>> Yeah.
00:18:47
>> Would you donate all your organs? All of
00:18:49
them? Yeah.
00:18:50
>> Everything.
00:18:51
>> I don't mind.
00:18:52
>> You don't care.
00:18:53
>> No.
00:18:53
>> Yeah. Good. Good for you.
00:18:55
>> Last thing about the head transplant,
00:18:56
though. Doesn't your brain old? Like if
00:18:59
you get a 22-year-old guy's body,
00:19:01
>> right?
00:19:02
>> But your brain's still old.
00:19:04
>> But imagine using that body with the
00:19:05
knowledge that you have.
00:19:07
>> Would that extend your life? You think?
00:19:09
>> Sure. Of a little bit. Because isn't
00:19:11
isn't part of your isn't part of your
00:19:13
physical existence your mental health
00:19:15
and happiness? So, you would be happier
00:19:17
because you're like, "Wow, I've got this
00:19:19
young body. I I feel less pain."
00:19:21
>> Wow.
00:19:22
>> First human head transplant two years
00:19:23
away, says a surgeon.
00:19:24
>> See,
00:19:25
>> that's that was a decade ago.
00:19:26
>> Oh, [ __ ]
00:19:27
>> No update.
00:19:30
>> Well, on this note, you know what day it
00:19:32
is today?
00:19:33
>> Happy birthday.
00:19:35
Is it?
00:19:36
>> It's Martin Luther King Day.
00:19:37
>> Is it today?
00:19:38
>> It's today.
00:19:39
>> Oh my god.
00:19:40
>> Did you have a dream? Have you ever had
00:19:41
a dream?
00:19:43
>> I have a dreaming.
00:19:45
>> Yeah. I used to have a bit like that.
00:19:47
>> A Martin Luther King. Asian Martin
00:19:48
Luther King.
00:19:49
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:19:49
>> What is it?
00:19:51
>> I have a dreaming the white people do
00:19:54
their own laundry.
00:19:56
>> Like that kind of bit.
00:19:58
>> That's a great bit.
00:19:59
>> Yeah.
00:20:00
>> Yeah.
00:20:00
>> Look at him playing pool.
00:20:02
>> MLK running the [ __ ] table.
00:20:05
>> Dude, I have a dream. Eightball side
00:20:08
pocket. That album was really good.
00:20:11
Airpod in his ear.
00:20:12
>> Yeah.
00:20:14
Oh,
00:20:16
>> your laugh, Richie. I love it. I want to
00:20:18
bottle that up.
00:20:20
>> Put in a genie bottle.
00:20:22
>> Yeah.
00:20:23
>> 300 years. 300 years. Somebody finds it.
00:20:24
Oh, like
00:20:27
>> I imagine he collects laughs.
00:20:29
>> Yeah,
00:20:30
>> you do. You have a can of laughs at home
00:20:31
>> in little jars right next to the heads.
00:20:33
>> Gross.
00:20:34
>> I just I get scared for these women that
00:20:36
go over there and see all these heads.
00:20:37
>> Yeah.
00:20:38
>> Cool.
00:20:38
>> Yeah.
00:20:39
>> When was the last time we had a girl
00:20:40
over?
00:20:40
>> Like not that long ago. Two weeks ago.
00:20:42
Okay.
00:20:43
>> Actually, not two weeks ago, cuz that
00:20:44
was Christmas.
00:20:45
>> How many times do you wash your sheets?
00:20:47
>> Um,
00:20:48
>> be honest.
00:20:48
>> He's like, "Sheets. We have to have
00:20:50
sheets."
00:20:51
>> Yeah.
00:20:51
>> I try my best. Anytime somebody comes
00:20:53
over, it's an instant wash. But like me
00:20:55
personally, just me, like week or two.
00:20:59
>> That's good.
00:21:00
>> A week or two?
00:21:02
>> Week or two.
00:21:02
>> And then what?
00:21:03
>> Usually two if it's just me.
00:21:06
>> What about you? When do you change
00:21:08
sheets?
00:21:08
>> Change my sheets if there's a lot of bon
00:21:11
going on. Yeah.
00:21:12
>> Like if we're getting them sloppy
00:21:14
>> every like 5 days.
00:21:15
>> Okay.
00:21:16
>> But if there's not a week and a day or
00:21:19
so, it's almost like eight or nine days.
00:21:21
>> Yeah.
00:21:21
>> But if if we're hooking up a lot, if
00:21:22
it's a fun month,
00:21:23
>> Yeah.
00:21:24
>> then you got to flip them like every cuz
00:21:25
then they just get nasty.
00:21:27
>> Yeah.
00:21:27
>> You know what I mean?
00:21:28
>> Yeah.
00:21:28
>> But like Yeah. I'd say 5 days. 5 to
00:21:30
eight depending on the level of bone
00:21:33
bone juice.
00:21:34
>> What about you?
00:21:35
>> Every day. Bobby,
00:21:37
>> you change them every day.
00:21:38
>> Well, I did until her mom left.
00:21:40
You didn't do You had someone else
00:21:42
change them every day.
00:21:42
>> Her mom.
00:21:43
>> Your mom would change her sheets every
00:21:44
day.
00:21:44
>> Every night.
00:21:45
>> Yeah.
00:21:46
>> She would wash them every day.
00:21:48
>> I have like so many sheets.
00:21:50
>> Yeah.
00:21:50
>> But she would just cycle through and
00:21:52
wash them all the time.
00:21:53
>> Mhm.
00:21:53
>> Wow.
00:21:54
>> I'm a king.
00:21:57
>> Feed me grapes.
00:22:00
>> You're allergic to grapes.
00:22:02
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:22:03
>> Not every day, but she would do it once
00:22:04
every four days. I think
00:22:06
>> that's pretty standard. That's I mean
00:22:07
for for a guy like you who lives in the
00:22:09
lifestyle that you live. Yeah. I cannot
00:22:11
sleep. I've tried without taking a
00:22:14
shower.
00:22:15
>> Oh, at night.
00:22:16
>> Yeah.
00:22:17
>> Interesting.
00:22:17
>> Tim Dylan was like, "Yeah, man. Just
00:22:19
sleep without taking a shower. I do it
00:22:20
all the time."
00:22:21
>> No, it's nice to get into bed clean.
00:22:23
>> Yeah. So, I tried it and at 4 in the
00:22:25
morning, I was like, "I got to take a
00:22:26
shower."
00:22:27
>> Right. Is that I mean, how do people
00:22:28
sleep without taking a shower?
00:22:30
>> I'll tell you what I've been doing,
00:22:30
though.
00:22:31
>> Yeah.
00:22:31
>> So, I've been had to shower again at
00:22:33
night. Even if I just showered, I've
00:22:34
been going in the hot tub cuz hot tub in
00:22:36
the rain.
00:22:37
>> My god, hot tub in the rain,
00:22:38
>> it's the best. It's the best in thing in
00:22:41
the world.
00:22:41
>> Wow.
00:22:41
>> Hot tub in the rain to me
00:22:43
>> is is just something about it. You're
00:22:46
like I feel I feel like Andy D frame
00:22:48
when he swam through the the pipes of
00:22:49
poop.
00:22:50
>> Yeah.
00:22:51
>> You come out clean on the other
00:22:52
>> Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I hot
00:22:55
tub in the rain.
00:22:55
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:22:56
>> It just it's it's it's life-changing.
00:22:58
>> They would have found me in that [ __ ]
00:22:59
tube
00:23:01
>> like 20 years later. I would have never
00:23:03
made it out of there.
00:23:04
>> He made it like 15 ft.
00:23:05
>> Yeah. They would just see my you a
00:23:07
Korean skeleton in there.
00:23:09
How long would you last in that poo?
00:23:10
There's no way.
00:23:11
>> I could never do it.
00:23:12
>> I could never do it.
00:23:13
>> Well, no. If your life is on the line,
00:23:14
if you need if you knew that was freedom
00:23:15
and it was how many football football
00:23:16
fields?
00:23:17
>> Four.
00:23:18
>> Four football fields.
00:23:18
>> Yeah. Yeah. Four football fields are
00:23:20
crawling through poo.
00:23:22
>> Gosh.
00:23:22
>> Would you be able to do it?
00:23:23
>> I think you at some point would just
00:23:25
check out mentally and just be like it
00:23:27
would just be
00:23:29
>> it'd be muscle reflex just like go go
00:23:30
go.
00:23:32
You would just get used to it and you'd
00:23:34
run out of throw up at some point.
00:23:35
>> Oh my god. You had nothing left. You
00:23:36
would get some in your mouth.
00:23:40
>> Just kidding.
00:23:41
>> Splash. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
00:23:42
>> I know.
00:23:44
>> Yeah,
00:23:44
>> you would do it for freedom.
00:23:46
>> Yeah,
00:23:46
>> for freedom.
00:23:46
>> And then what happens if you got out and
00:23:49
there was no rain? He was lucky. HE
00:23:52
FOUND A RAINY DAY. THERE'S NO RAIN.
00:23:54
YOU'RE JUST LIKE [ __ ] There's no Ah.
00:23:57
>> Yeah.
00:23:57
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:23:57
>> Look at that guy covered in [ __ ] running
00:23:59
THROUGH THE STREETS.
00:24:02
POO MAN.
00:24:02
>> That's Andy Defrain.
00:24:04
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:24:04
>> Andy, why are you covered in poo? Yeah,
00:24:07
>> he's lucky there was rain.
00:24:08
>> He was That was a lucky day for him.
00:24:10
>> Stephen King.
00:24:11
>> Yeah.
00:24:11
>> And you know what's so funny? That's a
00:24:13
great pairing because he wrote it cuz
00:24:14
the the the thunder strikes are when he
00:24:16
decided to hit the rock on the pipe. He
00:24:18
waited till it rained.
00:24:20
>> That was a part of it.
00:24:20
>> Oh, that's right. The thunder had to
00:24:22
rain at night because
00:24:23
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wait. So, he did plan
00:24:24
it. You're right.
00:24:25
>> Yeah. But still, you're you're right,
00:24:27
though.
00:24:27
>> Yeah.
00:24:27
>> Cuz what if it just thunder and rain was
00:24:29
dissipating?
00:24:29
>> Yeah, it could have dissipated.
00:24:31
>> Like, he thought it was pouring down
00:24:32
rain. He goes out there, it's just
00:24:33
spitting a little bit.
00:24:34
>> Yeah. How long would it take to get the
00:24:35
poop off?
00:24:36
>> Yeah. There's no way.
00:24:36
>> By the way, he washed himself in the
00:24:38
water that was poop water.
00:24:40
>> Yeah.
00:24:40
>> So, he didn't really get clean.
00:24:42
>> Yeah.
00:24:42
>> It was still poop water.
00:24:44
>> Oh, so it's the 1950s, right?
00:24:46
>> Yeah.
00:24:46
>> He would never be able to do it in
00:24:48
today.
00:24:49
>> No.
00:24:49
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:24:50
>> No, they don't have
00:24:50
>> As soon as he got up, there's a cameras
00:24:52
everywhere. Yeah. Tik Tockers taking
00:24:55
>> videos of him. Yeah. Yeah. He'd be
00:24:57
>> Twitch streamers being like, "Come out
00:24:58
here with the Poo Man."
00:25:01
>> Yeah.
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00:28:45
I saw your buddy Colin Jo this morning.
00:28:47
>> You played golf with him.
00:28:48
>> Yeah.
00:28:49
>> Yeah. You play golf.
00:28:50
>> We talked about you.
00:28:50
>> Really?
00:28:51
>> Yeah.
00:28:52
>> What' you say?
00:28:53
>> That we both really love you.
00:28:54
>> A
00:28:54
>> And then I asked him uh who who you
00:28:58
want? Headphones?
00:28:58
>> I don't know. I'm wondering. I just
00:29:00
>> give him headphones.
00:29:00
>> Yeah. Give him headphones.
00:29:01
>> No. No. I don't need it. I don't need
00:29:02
it.
00:29:02
>> Bobby said you don't listen.
00:29:04
>> Whoa. Yeah, it is what he said.
00:29:08
says, "You do not listen."
00:29:09
>> I don't I don't think you listen. I was
00:29:11
>> I think you drift.
00:29:12
>> I was so hungry that you But you see
00:29:14
yourself in me.
00:29:15
>> I do.
00:29:15
>> So, it's fine
00:29:16
>> because I don't listen.
00:29:17
>> There's nothing in this.
00:29:17
>> Yeah, I never listen.
00:29:18
>> No, you don't.
00:29:19
>> There's nothing in this.
00:29:20
>> Yeah.
00:29:21
>> He's got nothing in the Yeah.
00:29:24
>> Rudy.
00:29:26
RUDY.
00:29:30
>> No socks, huh?
00:29:31
>> Hey, no socks today. Sockless,
00:29:34
>> huh? You like them? So cute.
00:29:36
>> Thank you, girl.
00:29:38
>> Those are They're very Middle Eastern of
00:29:39
you.
00:29:40
>> Oh, wow. Thank you.
00:29:41
>> I like that.
00:29:42
>> A little bit Hispanic, if you will.
00:29:43
>> Are those Hispanic shoes?
00:29:45
>> Yes, maybe. Anybody.
00:29:45
>> Did your puppy have those?
00:29:46
>> Everything I wear is Hispanic.
00:29:49
>> Do you know you probably don't sleep
00:29:50
well? Do you sleep well?
00:29:52
>> I either sleep a lot or No.
00:29:55
>> It's one or the other.
00:29:56
>> It just depends.
00:29:57
>> What What was it last night?
00:29:58
>> Last night it was uh I did good last
00:30:00
night, but the the night before that I I
00:30:02
woke up scared, man. You ever wake up
00:30:04
scared?
00:30:05
>> Why are you scared?
00:30:06
>> I woke up scared cuz I drank.
00:30:08
>> I drank and then I woke up scared. You
00:30:10
know what I mean? My left leg, my left
00:30:11
leg starts to go numb. But it's in my
00:30:13
head. It's not It's all in your head.
00:30:15
>> Where do you stay when you come to LA?
00:30:16
>> Um I stay at the No, don't.
00:30:19
>> I stay right I stay by the store. Close
00:30:20
to the store. I want to go by there.
00:30:22
Want to do stand up.
00:30:23
>> FANCY, HUH?
00:30:23
>> RUDY.
00:30:25
>> RUDY.
00:30:27
>> RUDY. RUDY, say hi to our guest.
00:30:29
>> Yeah, I do.
00:30:30
>> Hi.
00:30:30
>> Hi.
00:30:31
>> Yeah. You know, she's got a massive
00:30:33
crush on you. It's unbelievable.
00:30:36
>> She can't stop talking about it.
00:30:38
>> It's been a continuous thing on this
00:30:40
show.
00:30:40
>> Oh, come on.
00:30:41
>> When will you have Marcelan? Because I
00:30:43
want to say to him, right?
00:30:44
>> Yeah. That's what she said.
00:30:45
>> You know what? You're [ __ ] Yoko.
00:30:47
>> Yes.
00:30:48
>> You're Yoko.
00:30:48
>> You're
00:30:50
Yeah. If you were in a band, she would
00:30:51
break it up. You can't sing. Maybe she's
00:30:53
Yoko.
00:30:54
>> She would break it right up. She If you
00:30:55
started dating her, she'd kick get you
00:30:56
kicked off SNL so fast. Really? Oh,
00:30:58
yeah.
00:30:58
>> Your toxic Rudy.
00:31:00
>> No. Are you tonedeaf?
00:31:02
>> Me?
00:31:02
>> Yeah.
00:31:02
>> Why?
00:31:03
>> Can you sing?
00:31:03
>> Can I sing? No. No. I can do deep voice.
00:31:06
>> Yeah. But can you
00:31:08
>> You seem like you're tonedeaf.
00:31:11
>> That's
00:31:11
>> very good.
00:31:12
>> Only fools
00:31:14
rush.
00:31:15
>> It sounds like a foreign guy trying to
00:31:17
do that song in English.
00:31:18
>> Yeah.
00:31:19
>> Wise man will say
00:31:22
>> only will a fool will he be the Russian
00:31:26
>> because I language.
00:31:31
You can dance, too, huh? That I do.
00:31:33
Daddy can do that. I can do.
00:31:34
>> Well, we've seen that. You've showcased
00:31:35
your ability to dance.
00:31:37
>> Yeah.
00:31:38
>> What's the thing that we haven't seen
00:31:39
you do on TV that you're like waiting?
00:31:41
That's something in your back pocket.
00:31:42
>> I got to do a soccer thing. I'm good.
00:31:43
I'm really good. You have anything
00:31:44
that's a circle here?
00:31:47
>> I can. These guys will kick anything.
00:31:48
>> I can juggle that baseball. I can do
00:31:50
some stuff with it.
00:31:51
>> Can you really?
00:31:51
>> Probably
00:31:52
>> stand up and do it.
00:31:52
>> Yeah. Yeah. Okay.
00:31:56
>> Oh, I thought that was going to work.
00:31:57
Let's go.
00:31:58
>> Yeah. Your foot feet. YOU'RE NOT WEARING
00:31:59
SOCKS. WHOA, DUDE.
00:32:07
>> OH, BRO, YOU ARE GOOD,
00:32:08
>> DUDE.
00:32:09
>> WOW,
00:32:11
>> that is incredible.
00:32:12
>> That's incredible, dude.
00:32:13
>> OH, YEAH. OH, SHOELESS.
00:32:14
>> OH, SHOELESS.
00:32:15
>> SHOLESS.
00:32:16
>> OKAY, sit down. Sit down.
00:32:19
>> Here he goes. Here he goes up.
00:32:21
>> HEY,
00:32:24
come on.
00:32:25
>> Yeah.
00:32:25
>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT, SN?
00:32:27
>> HOW ABOUT THAT? HUH? Come on.
00:32:28
>> Can your fancy bee do that?
00:32:31
>> We want you to replace our fancy bee so
00:32:33
bad, dude.
00:32:33
>> God, man.
00:32:34
>> You would be the one.
00:32:35
>> That guy. Fancy B. You guys really What
00:32:38
does the B stand for?
00:32:39
>> You tell us.
00:32:40
>> Come on.
00:32:41
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:32:42
>> What do you guys love to eat?
00:32:43
>> Yes.
00:32:46
>> You love it?
00:32:47
>> What is your favorite?
00:32:48
>> Wait, what? Look at me, dude. You like
00:32:49
it?
00:32:50
>> What?
00:32:50
>> Beans.
00:32:51
>> Yes.
00:32:51
>> Yeah.
00:32:52
>> I like it, too. Ice and beans.
00:32:54
>> I'm a fancy bee.
00:32:55
>> What's your favorite meal that your mom
00:32:56
made you? Um, my mom never cooked a lot.
00:32:58
My mom was always traveling for work.
00:32:59
>> What about your grandma?
00:33:00
>> How does that make you feel? Um, my
00:33:02
grandma, she didn't cook either. My mom
00:33:04
was, my grandmother was a cashier at a
00:33:05
CVS.
00:33:06
>> Seriously?
00:33:07
>> Yeah.
00:33:07
>> Wow.
00:33:08
>> We didn't have a lot of like
00:33:08
>> So, no, no homecooked meals for you as a
00:33:10
kid.
00:33:10
>> Not really. My mom can make a great uh a
00:33:12
seoya.
00:33:13
>> Oh, right.
00:33:19
>> That's good, dude.
00:33:20
>> You You really live in this dangerous
00:33:21
line, huh?
00:33:22
>> I don't have a choice.
00:33:23
>> You'll do anything.
00:33:23
>> Well, I'm not on SNL, dude. I can do
00:33:25
whatever I want. All right. I'm free
00:33:26
living. The thing that got Shane
00:33:28
canceled I do every week on this show.
00:33:30
>> Every single week. Think about that,
00:33:31
>> too. It's incredible.
00:33:33
>> That's the freedom of this platform.
00:33:35
We're allowed to do it. But you got to
00:33:36
stay a little good little boy. You got
00:33:38
to be a good little boy. Cuz you're
00:33:39
going to be a movie star, aren't you?
00:33:40
>> I have a job to do.
00:33:40
>> Are you going to be a movie star?
00:33:41
>> I hope so.
00:33:42
>> You're going to be a movie star.
00:33:42
>> He's got a movie. Netflix.
00:33:44
>> Yeah.
00:33:44
>> You and who?
00:33:45
>> Kevin Hart. Co-star.
00:33:46
>> Kevin Hart.
00:33:47
>> Yes. That one.
00:33:48
>> He's done movies with Kevin Hart.
00:33:49
>> So have you.
00:33:50
>> I have. Yeah.
00:33:51
>> Yes, I have.
00:33:51
>> I just saw you in a movie.
00:33:53
>> No, you didn't.
00:33:54
>> Yes, I did. Last night. What movie was
00:33:56
it?
00:33:56
>> Now You See Me, Now You Don't.
00:33:57
>> Oh my god.
00:33:58
>> Yeah.
00:33:59
>> Yeah. And how was I?
00:34:00
>> And
00:34:02
>> it was funny, dude. You were fun.
00:34:04
>> It's a f It was a fun little part.
00:34:05
>> You got a lot of facial hair in that
00:34:06
one.
00:34:07
>> Yeah, I grew it out. No, you
00:34:09
>> No. Yeah, I did. Yeah, I did The bush. I
00:34:10
did the front bush. We shot that in
00:34:11
Budapest.
00:34:13
>> Where What's this movie you got coming
00:34:14
out?
00:34:15
>> Um the uh with Kevin Hart, it's called
00:34:17
72 Hours. It's like a bachelor party
00:34:18
thing.
00:34:19
>> Oh,
00:34:20
>> yeah.
00:34:20
>> 72 Hours is like a I thought it was
00:34:22
going to be like an extension of the
00:34:23
Nick Noly 48 hours. I thought that was
00:34:25
going to be another What is this? Kevin
00:34:27
Hart, Wild 72 Hours, a new comedy. Who
00:34:30
wrote it?
00:34:30
>> Uh,
00:34:31
>> not you.
00:34:32
>> No,
00:34:32
>> no,
00:34:33
>> no.
00:34:33
>> Who's that handsome guy?
00:34:34
>> Look at that.
00:34:35
>> Who is that guy?
00:34:36
>> That's uh Mason Gooding.
00:34:38
>> I'm talking about you, sweetheart.
00:34:39
>> Oh, that's
00:34:39
>> care about that other guy on the left.
00:34:41
What are you talking? Look at how good
00:34:42
looking he looks right there, Bob.
00:34:43
>> Dude,
00:34:43
>> zoom in on Marcelo.
00:34:45
>> Marcelo.
00:34:46
>> Wow.
00:34:46
>> Wow.
00:34:48
>> Kid's built. He's built for the picture.
00:34:50
>> Come on.
00:34:50
>> It's like Pepsi Cola now.
00:34:52
>> What's up? He's like Pepsi Cola. Like
00:34:54
>> you think his name is Pepsi?
00:34:55
>> No. No. What I'm saying is is that
00:34:57
you're like out there.
00:34:58
>> Yeah.
00:34:59
>> You know what I mean? How's it feel?
00:35:00
>> It's crazy. It feels weird. This is like
00:35:02
I've only done like four podcasts in my
00:35:04
whole life.
00:35:04
>> Yeah.
00:35:05
>> And today I did the third one of my life
00:35:07
and today I did the fourth one. I did
00:35:09
like one or two like before when I first
00:35:12
started doing videos online. Yeah.
00:35:13
>> Which was like 2020.
00:35:15
>> Yeah.
00:35:15
>> So this is like the first podcast.
00:35:17
>> This is the only one that matters. This
00:35:18
is the first one.
00:35:18
>> This is the real one.
00:35:19
>> This is the one.
00:35:20
>> Look at you on variety with your shirt
00:35:21
off.
00:35:21
>> I They made me do that. I was You didn't
00:35:23
want to take your shirt off.
00:35:23
>> I didn't want to do the chains. I didn't
00:35:24
want to do the shirt, but you know, you
00:35:26
don't know what to say. You just don't
00:35:27
know what to say.
00:35:28
>> So, so they someone came by and was
00:35:30
like, "Marcel, we'd like it if you had
00:35:31
your shirt off and we want to put put
00:35:33
these costume chains on you."
00:35:34
>> Yeah. And they go, "We have this idea."
00:35:35
And then, and then I go, they go,
00:35:37
"Smile." And then something felt weird
00:35:38
to me about smiling with my shirt off.
00:35:40
Yeah.
00:35:40
>> So, I was like, I can't do that.
00:35:42
>> Can you do that face? I want to try to
00:35:43
do that face.
00:35:45
>> Look it.
00:35:47
>> Look it.
00:35:48
>> I like that's interesting that they go
00:35:49
take your shirt off, put on these
00:35:50
chains. And that was the idea. Somebody
00:35:52
did not do their work before.
00:35:54
>> Thank you.
00:35:54
>> They showed up that day and they were
00:35:55
like, "We have nothing to do."
00:35:56
>> And you don't get to approve pictures.
00:35:58
So, you just find out.
00:35:59
>> Your team never said yes or no to this.
00:36:01
>> No, you just find out.
00:36:01
>> You got to get a new agent. They should
00:36:03
send you this before they approve it on
00:36:04
this.
00:36:04
>> This was years ago.
00:36:05
>> I don't think people can get I
00:36:07
>> It's hard to get approval.
00:36:08
>> No, it's Dude, when they
00:36:10
>> I mean, Julia Roberts probably can.
00:36:11
>> Exactly. You get to a point where you
00:36:13
can't
00:36:13
>> he's the male Julia Roberts.
00:36:14
>> I know. I understand that. But
00:36:16
>> he's gonna get there, but I don't know
00:36:17
if he's there now. Yes, he is.
00:36:18
>> Yeah. Okay. Get approval then. But this
00:36:19
was years ago.
00:36:20
>> This is America's new sweetheart.
00:36:22
>> Hi.
00:36:23
>> Yeah,
00:36:23
>> you are the representation of America's
00:36:26
best
00:36:27
>> ideas.
00:36:28
>> Dude, you guys, you guys. Um, that was
00:36:30
the worst one. That one right there in
00:36:31
the white.
00:36:32
>> Let me see
00:36:32
>> that one. That's the worst picture I
00:36:33
think I've ever taken. My god.
00:36:35
>> What am I doing with my neck?
00:36:36
>> What?
00:36:37
>> You know what I mean?
00:36:37
>> Yeah. What are you doing?
00:36:38
>> I don't know. You don't get aord. I
00:36:40
could have been stretching. I I could
00:36:41
have been stretching there.
00:36:42
>> Yeah.
00:36:43
>> Selling weapons overseas.
00:36:45
>> It's like what?
00:36:46
>> God.
00:36:47
>> You just
00:36:47
>> Yeah. But you know what? You still look
00:36:49
good. The kid still looks good. Are you
00:36:51
happy on a little break right now?
00:36:52
Right.
00:36:53
>> Yeah, little break. But this has been
00:36:54
I've been busy, dude. I've been doing a
00:36:55
bunch of podcasts. I've been uh I'm
00:36:56
doing a a screening for my
00:36:59
>> screening for your special tomorrow.
00:37:00
Special comes out
00:37:01
>> uh January 7th.
00:37:03
>> One day after our favorite holiday.
00:37:05
>> Yeah.
00:37:05
>> One day.
00:37:06
>> What's your favorite? Oh
00:37:07
>> yeah.
00:37:07
>> Come on. Day, dude. Come on, dude.
00:37:10
>> We were there, dude.
00:37:11
>> We were there twice. We got to go back.
00:37:12
>> And a brick.
00:37:14
>> Just you with a photo of you with your
00:37:16
shirt off a change.
00:37:17
>> Yeah. If if AI was around back then, how
00:37:19
many comedians would have promoted their
00:37:21
their their week of shows?
00:37:22
>> Oh my god, dude. With an AI
00:37:23
>> So many flyers. So many flyers.
00:37:26
>> Oh, that would have been great.
00:37:26
>> Let me ask you something, and you you
00:37:28
don't have to answer this,
00:37:29
>> okay?
00:37:29
>> Does Lauren know about this show?
00:37:32
>> Like, will Lauren see you on this show?
00:37:34
>> Maybe.
00:37:34
>> Uh-oh.
00:37:35
>> If something bad happens,
00:37:37
>> Rudy.
00:37:38
>> Rudy,
00:37:39
>> stop hitting on me.
00:37:40
>> RUDY,
00:37:42
>> DO you get intimidated by him?
00:37:43
>> Um, sure. I but he's he I've gone to
00:37:47
baseball games with him. He's a cool
00:37:48
guy.
00:37:49
>> He's also just like such like a he's
00:37:51
like we all have like a a grandparent or
00:37:53
somebody that's like, you know, the
00:37:55
elder of the
00:37:55
>> You call him a grandparent.
00:37:57
>> The elder of the family. Yeah.
00:37:58
>> Um and uh
00:37:59
>> it's different when the elder of the
00:38:01
family is like working at like a crazy
00:38:03
high level. You know what I mean?
00:38:04
>> Like it's different when they're
00:38:05
retired. It's a different energy. He's
00:38:07
he's on
00:38:07
>> he's on.
00:38:08
>> Oh, right. Right. Right. Yeah.
00:38:09
>> He's doing the thing.
00:38:10
>> Yes. He's still very much doing the
00:38:11
thing.
00:38:12
>> He's still your dad. He's still your
00:38:13
papa. But if he's like, "Come here.
00:38:14
Let's go over here." You have to go with
00:38:16
them, right?
00:38:16
>> Yeah. Yeah. I go to baseball games.
00:38:17
>> Well, you go to baseball. You like You
00:38:19
guys You guys love baseball.
00:38:20
>> My people. Yes.
00:38:21
>> Yeah.
00:38:21
>> We love baseball.
00:38:22
>> See?
00:38:23
>> And it's been very, very good to you.
00:38:24
>> How you see your face?
00:38:26
>> How you see
00:38:26
>> how you see your face?
00:38:27
>> How you see your face?
00:38:28
>> What are you doing? Move it.
00:38:30
>> Shut up. He's flirting with you.
00:38:31
>> Have you seen your face?
00:38:31
>> I have seen your face.
00:38:33
>> How good does Bobby look these days?
00:38:35
>> Honestly, the the Well, take a good look
00:38:37
at the skateboard behind him. Look at
00:38:38
how fat he was in that photo. Look what
00:38:39
he looks like now. I mean, that's a that
00:38:40
is a dead like that's a great
00:38:42
comparison. That is a before and after
00:38:44
right in front of your face.
00:38:45
>> 100%. And yeah, that's dude.
00:38:47
>> When you're like that, you don't No one
00:38:48
tells you.
00:38:49
>> I told you all the time.
00:38:50
>> I know, but I thought you were joking.
00:38:51
>> I wasn't.
00:38:51
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But other people out
00:38:53
in the wild, they're like, "No, you look
00:38:54
good." No, I didn't.
00:38:56
>> I DIDN'T LOOK GOOD. You know what I
00:38:57
mean?
00:38:58
>> But this was good. This has always been
00:38:59
good.
00:39:00
>> BUT [ __ ] THIS.
00:39:00
>> All right. Yeah.
00:39:01
>> I want to look good.
00:39:02
>> Yeah. You want to look good.
00:39:02
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is nothing.
00:39:04
>> I prefer you fatter TO THE BODY.
00:39:07
>> WHY? IT just feels like you look
00:39:09
huggable.
00:39:11
>> OH,
00:39:12
>> right now you got to look sexy. It's
00:39:14
time. Sexy now.
00:39:15
>> I don't know if I look sexy.
00:39:16
>> Yeah, you do.
00:39:17
>> It's a stretch.
00:39:18
>> But let me say something. I am excited
00:39:19
for his transition. He's going to get
00:39:22
>> I want to get real.
00:39:22
>> He's going to get you know it. It's the
00:39:25
stage. It's the next thing. They're
00:39:27
going to go, "Look, Marcelo, you're
00:39:28
great on SNL. We love seeing you on the
00:39:30
show, but we want the We want the
00:39:32
movies. We want the girls. We want the
00:39:33
money." And they got to get him jacked
00:39:35
>> cuz he's in good shape. Lift up your
00:39:37
shirt.
00:39:38
>> Huh?
00:39:38
>> Lift up your shirt.
00:39:39
>> No. Come on.
00:39:40
>> Come on. Come on. Give him some money,
00:39:41
guys.
00:39:42
>> No. No. No.
00:39:43
>> You want to see? It's nothing crazy.
00:39:45
>> Let's see.
00:39:45
>> Yeah. See, he's in great shape.
00:39:47
>> Skin and bones. What do you What size
00:39:48
waist? 28.
00:39:49
>> 30.
00:39:50
>> 30. Yeah, right. Liar.
00:39:51
>> 30 with a belt.
00:39:52
>> No. 30. I got big legs. I played soccer
00:39:54
forever.
00:39:54
>> See? Sexier. You know what? You drop
00:39:56
sexy little things as a Yeah, I got big
00:39:58
thighs.
00:39:59
>> You know what stage I'm waiting for?
00:40:00
>> What's up?
00:40:01
>> Stage five.
00:40:02
>> What's that?
00:40:02
>> You know what stage five is?
00:40:03
>> Answer.
00:40:04
>> Hey, Marcelo. It's Bobby.
00:40:05
>> Oh, yeah. gone.
00:40:08
>> I'll never
00:40:09
>> I'll never You guys have
00:40:10
>> When's that stage happen?
00:40:11
>> Dude, you guys have such a special place
00:40:13
in my heart. You don't even realize it.
00:40:14
I was in the pandemic. I had a panic
00:40:16
attack in my house. I was spraying my
00:40:17
family. I was spraying my family. I was
00:40:19
my I swear my mom my I sprayed my whole
00:40:22
family. My mom would get home from the
00:40:24
supermarket. I go naked now, take the
00:40:26
clothes off. I take the clothes off. I
00:40:27
throw it in the washing machine. They
00:40:29
hated me. My sister would paranoid.
00:40:31
Dude, it was really bad.
00:40:33
>> It was really bad. Don't play a fool
00:40:35
with me, [ __ ] It was really bad. And I
00:40:37
was spraying spraying spraying. I was
00:40:39
mad at them. They were like, "We want to
00:40:40
go to lunch at a restaurant." And I go,
00:40:41
"You got to kill us all." I would I was
00:40:44
doing I was insane. I was spraying my
00:40:46
sister's hands. I was being like a real
00:40:48
psychopath. Was he a little bit like
00:40:49
that?
00:40:50
>> No. But Kyla was like that.
00:40:52
>> Kala? Yeah. Yeah.
00:40:53
>> We We get food orders right outside.
00:40:55
We'd have to spray it down for 30
00:40:56
minutes, let it sit out there, let the
00:40:58
air do its thing, and then bring it The
00:41:00
reason that she really got on the show
00:41:02
was because Kala didn't trust him to not
00:41:04
go do something when we were done
00:41:05
filming. So she was kind of like a
00:41:07
liaison. A child by the way.
00:41:09
>> She was in high school.
00:41:10
>> She was in high school when she started
00:41:10
the show.
00:41:11
>> She was babysitting Bobby.
00:41:12
>> 100%.
00:41:12
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I remember. Dude, I
00:41:14
I'm telling you, I used to watch it
00:41:15
every night. I used to listen to it to
00:41:16
go to bed. I needed people to be
00:41:18
pretending like things were fine. Yeah,
00:41:20
we did. And you guys did that.
00:41:22
>> But we were so dumb. We don't know any
00:41:23
better. We didn't know it wasn't fine.
00:41:24
>> You guys sitting relatively close to
00:41:26
each other and talking and being funny.
00:41:28
It saved my I I I truly believe it saved
00:41:30
my life.
00:41:31
>> Wow.
00:41:31
>> No, that's that's very sweet.
00:41:32
>> From For from me like really losing it.
00:41:34
And I did end up I had to move out of my
00:41:35
mom's house. I had to move to my dad's
00:41:36
cuz it was like so contentious.
00:41:39
>> And what about your dad then? Your dad
00:41:40
didn't care at all.
00:41:40
>> My dad is just like two guys living in a
00:41:42
house when it's like your mother and
00:41:43
your sister, the people that you're
00:41:44
supposed to protect. You're like, don't
00:41:45
don't move a muscle. And you know what I
00:41:47
mean? And then but with my dad, I was
00:41:49
like, it's okay. We're guys, it's fine.
00:41:50
We'll be fine.
00:41:51
>> Yeah. You didn't you didn't care if you
00:41:52
guys got CO together.
00:41:53
>> Yeah. I thought it was like it's just
00:41:54
two guys. Like we'll figure it out. But
00:41:56
it's like your sister and your mom. It's
00:41:57
different.
00:41:58
>> Protect. Protect. That's what that's
00:41:59
what you do with her. And then
00:42:00
>> Did you get a co?
00:42:01
>> Um I eventually did get it. Yeah.
00:42:03
>> Yeah. Yeah. Do you like it?
00:42:04
>> I was I got
00:42:06
>> No, I got it bad, dude. I couldn't
00:42:07
breathe and stuff.
00:42:08
>> Yeah, it was bad.
00:42:08
>> It was bad.
00:42:08
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:42:09
>> You did get it back.
00:42:10
>> I was laying on my side trying to
00:42:12
>> You don't have You got Do you have any
00:42:13
health issues from when you were a kid?
00:42:14
>> Um no, but I don't like I think I have
00:42:17
to like I stopped smoking. I used to
00:42:18
smoke. I stopped smoking cuz I think I
00:42:20
my lungs I don't think are good.
00:42:21
>> Give him a cigarette.
00:42:22
>> Come on. Start again.
00:42:23
>> Let's do it. We're here, right?
00:42:24
>> The stress. The stress. The stress. You
00:42:26
got to start. He started smoking again
00:42:27
and I try to get him to quit multiple
00:42:28
times. He just won't do it. How did you
00:42:30
do it?
00:42:30
>> You're a sneaky healthy guy.
00:42:32
>> I'm healthy, but I But I like to
00:42:34
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Whiskey. Whiskey.
00:42:35
Whiskey. I like whiskey. Yeah.
00:42:36
>> I love whiskey.
00:42:37
>> You want some? There's some in the other
00:42:38
room. Be a little bad boy after the
00:42:39
show.
00:42:40
>> Be a little bad boy after.
00:42:40
>> Yeah. Um I want him to quit smoking.
00:42:42
Tell him how to quit.
00:42:43
>> How do you quit? I I I went cold turkey.
00:42:45
I don't know if you've you But he's
00:42:46
tried everything. That's the problem
00:42:47
with a guy like this is that he's
00:42:49
Whatever a guy like this.
00:42:50
>> What do you mean a guy like this?
00:42:51
>> It's a problem with a guy like you. I
00:42:53
when I was you tried everything you
00:42:54
tried everything you started every drug
00:42:57
quit it I quit I quit quit it
00:42:58
>> the same thing. Yeah. Yeah. You started
00:42:59
it in a year.
00:42:59
>> What the [ __ ] do you mean? What do you
00:43:00
mean? Yeah. Yeah. You know what I I did
00:43:02
quit smoking two years.
00:43:04
>> You started again.
00:43:04
>> I know I started again but I'm just
00:43:06
saying what do you mean guy like this?
00:43:07
>> Over a year now. Right. What?
00:43:09
>> How long has it been? Over a year.
00:43:10
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:43:10
>> You've been smoking again.
00:43:11
>> I know. Here's the thing. I'm going to
00:43:12
quit after my special.
00:43:14
>> That's not true.
00:43:15
>> Yeah. Yes, it is.
00:43:16
>> Yes, it is. Right. We have a pact.
00:43:18
>> You will. Let's put an amount of money
00:43:19
on it.
00:43:21
Give him.
00:43:22
>> He goes, "We have a pact." No, we don't.
00:43:24
I know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. See, he
00:43:25
doesn't listen.
00:43:26
>> No, he listens.
00:43:27
>> I listen.
00:43:27
>> No, cuz you have one thought.
00:43:28
>> You said make a packed. He didn't do it.
00:43:30
>> I know what I'm saying, though, though.
00:43:33
>> What's that guy's name in the in the
00:43:34
maroon?
00:43:35
>> Um, no idea. But that's Carlos.
00:43:38
>> And who's the guy in the back? You know
00:43:39
who that guy is?
00:43:39
>> No.
00:43:40
>> Yeah, that's Mone.
00:43:41
>> He's nervous, dude.
00:43:42
>> Yeah,
00:43:42
>> he is nervous, dude.
00:43:43
>> We call him nervous, dude.
00:43:44
>> You guys make him nervous.
00:43:45
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>> Just based on looks in an apocalyptic
00:46:18
moment, right? Like zombie apocalypse.
00:46:20
What? Whatever. Right. You had to choose
00:46:21
four people out of this room to be in
00:46:23
your team to survive. Who would you
00:46:25
pick?
00:46:25
>> Easy.
00:46:26
>> Yeah. Go ahead.
00:46:26
>> Easy. It's It's you three. Rudy. I know
00:46:28
when we get out there, Rudy's going to
00:46:30
be secret leader of the pack.
00:46:32
>> And then um I'm going to go with Carlos.
00:46:35
I mean, the other two I I I like you
00:46:36
guys, but you seem easily killable.
00:46:39
Like, I get killed very easily.
00:46:41
>> Now, what's the first errand you make
00:46:42
Carlos do in the apocalypse?
00:46:43
>> Cuz he's the errand guy. He's the He's
00:46:45
the runner.
00:46:45
>> I mean, yeah. I mean,
00:46:46
>> bullets.
00:46:47
>> What do you mean bullets? It's the apoc
00:46:49
Oh, you mean the apocalypse here? When
00:46:50
>> like a zombie? Like a zombie apocalypse?
00:46:51
>> Oh, zombie apocalypse.
00:46:52
>> We have a compound.
00:46:53
>> Yeah. I You know what? I don't even tell
00:46:54
him. He knows.
00:46:55
>> HE KNOWS. HE KNOWS.
00:46:58
>> YOU WHAT'S THE bullet look? Give me the
00:47:00
look.
00:47:00
>> What look Oh, like when I need him to go
00:47:02
do something.
00:47:02
>> Yeah. Yeah. Don't say anything. Like I'm
00:47:04
Carlos, right? And I look at you like,
00:47:07
"Give me the bullet look."
00:47:08
>> I go like, "No, it's not bullet. Carlos
00:47:10
knows what we need. Not be bullets."
00:47:11
>> But I go like this. I go, "Hey,
00:47:14
>> I'm on it. I'm on it. Yeah, I'm on it.
00:47:16
>> You're in the car.
00:47:17
>> I'm already getting bread. You're in the
00:47:18
car.
00:47:18
>> I'm getting bread." Yeah. Yeah. You want
00:47:20
bread? You got it.
00:47:21
>> Now, let's ask this question.
00:47:23
>> That's why That's why you're not the
00:47:24
errand guy. You'd come back with bread
00:47:25
and we're like, "We don't need [ __ ]
00:47:26
bread."
00:47:27
>> Goes bad so quickly, too. Golly, dude.
00:47:29
>> Carlos, zombie apocalypse. I look at
00:47:31
you. I go, "What are you going to get?
00:47:33
Couple girls who haven't been.
00:47:35
>> Okay, Carlos.
00:47:36
>> Carlos. Girls who haven't been bitten.
00:47:38
>> Okay. All right. Smart. I understand. I
00:47:41
understand. I understand. I understand.
00:47:43
But you know what's going to happen?
00:47:44
Carlo's going to go get these girls,
00:47:46
right? Then he's going to try to be
00:47:47
cool, show off in his new car. You know,
00:47:49
he's like donuts in the parking lot.
00:47:51
They he end up getting them bit anyway.
00:47:52
He still shows up with them and he's
00:47:54
like, "They weren't bit when I got them,
00:47:56
but they're bit now,
00:47:57
>> but we can hang with them for a little
00:47:59
bit."
00:47:59
>> And I've been thinking about it and I
00:48:00
think we should all just get bit.
00:48:03
What do you guys think? Should we just
00:48:04
get bit? Let's just get bit.
00:48:07
>> Yeah,
00:48:07
>> you're Yeah, you would. That would be
00:48:09
fun because it'd be like a version of
00:48:10
getting high probably because I know
00:48:13
that's You're seeking. You're seeking.
00:48:14
The addict is seeking.
00:48:15
>> Are you Are you sober?
00:48:16
>> No. No.
00:48:17
>> We've tried.
00:48:18
>> We tried.
00:48:19
>> We've tried for a long time.
00:48:21
>> But in a zombie apocalypse, if you saw a
00:48:22
hot zombie, fully hot,
00:48:25
>> would you try to hook up?
00:48:26
>> If I had a really bad injury already and
00:48:28
I was
00:48:28
>> But you're not You don't have the
00:48:29
[ __ ] virus though, right? You see a
00:48:31
real like the titties are the body is
00:48:33
still fine. Maybe some scabs.
00:48:35
>> You know what I mean?
00:48:35
>> Couple of scabs.
00:48:36
>> A couple of scabs. You know what I mean?
00:48:37
The eyes are completely white, but the
00:48:39
face is still good.
00:48:40
>> I did this in real life though. Like I
00:48:42
would go to parties.
00:48:43
>> Yeah. Meth.
00:48:44
>> Oh, co. Yeah. Yeah.
00:48:45
>> Yeah. He would go hook up with girls in
00:48:46
the middle of
00:48:46
>> CO. He would have given you a panic
00:48:49
attack.
00:48:49
>> There were parties in the hills during
00:48:51
>> CO and you would go and try to
00:48:53
>> No, not try. He would do. He hooked up
00:48:54
with a bunch of people during
00:48:55
>> CO. Yeah,
00:48:56
>> it's actually where he hit the most home
00:48:58
runs during co because he was the only
00:49:00
guy willing to just go for it.
00:49:02
>> And to you it's he's easy to hook up
00:49:03
with chicks.
00:49:04
>> Not anymore as I get older.
00:49:06
>> This is not true. He is a
00:49:07
>> He's a He's got a problem. He's got a
00:49:09
problem.
00:49:09
>> He does very well with women.
00:49:10
>> That's projecting from Bobby, obviously.
00:49:12
>> Really? How dare you? Really?
00:49:15
>> Explain yourself. Explain yourself.
00:49:17
Explain yourself, dude.
00:49:18
>> You're You're one of the most
00:49:18
problematic people with women.
00:49:20
>> Wow.
00:49:20
>> Wa.
00:49:21
>> Like wa That's heavy shots, huh?
00:49:23
>> Yeah, that word.
00:49:23
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. word is crazy
00:49:26
issues with women.
00:49:27
>> Whoa. Right. Issues.
00:49:29
>> Wow. Right.
00:49:29
>> With a lot.
00:49:30
>> Crazy. A lot. He says
00:49:31
>> lots.
00:49:32
>> Yeah. What else?
00:49:33
>> I mean,
00:49:34
>> and you have no You have no issues with
00:49:35
women.
00:49:36
>> Countless.
00:49:37
>> Countless. Yeah. No. No. Exactly. So,
00:49:38
we're the same. No.
00:49:39
>> Yeah. But I'm just saying you were
00:49:40
>> It's like the pot calling kettle back.
00:49:42
>> Yeah. You
00:49:43
>> And the pot will call you back if you
00:49:44
leave your phone out. Will call you back
00:49:46
at some point.
00:49:48
>> Honestly.
00:49:48
>> Yeah.
00:49:49
>> Why are you doing something today? You
00:49:52
shot it before you came. He was shooting
00:49:53
at was so nice to you today, too.
00:49:55
>> And you Carlos, I said,
00:49:58
>> "How was your day?"
00:49:59
>> He was bragging that he stayed at a nice
00:50:01
hotel and I needed to just tell him,
00:50:02
"Oh, I've also been there." Like, let's
00:50:04
not brag.
00:50:05
>> These guys have been button heads today
00:50:06
for some reason.
00:50:06
>> What's the What's the deal with you,
00:50:08
MAN?
00:50:10
>> I know, dude.
00:50:11
>> Because he's Hispanic. You're Hispanic.
00:50:13
You guys kind of, you know, right?
00:50:14
>> Connect. Connect.
00:50:15
>> He might He might be the whitest looking
00:50:16
Hispanic of all time.
00:50:18
>> What's your What? Why is it
00:50:19
>> Why am I white?
00:50:20
>> Yeah. What's your Yeah.
00:50:21
>> Mexico's city. My parents are Spanish.
00:50:24
That's why.
00:50:25
>> They're Mexican. No, they're Mexican,
00:50:27
but they're Spaniards.
00:50:28
>> All right. So, tell Marcela you wore
00:50:30
those socks for him. Go ahead and tell
00:50:31
him about your socks. She wore socks
00:50:33
just for me.
00:50:34
>> Oh, play dumb now. Play dumb. Now that
00:50:36
he's here, tell him about the socks you
00:50:37
wore and why you wore them.
00:50:38
>> Well, you bought them for him. Like, I'm
00:50:40
going to buy these because
00:50:41
>> I want these. Marcelo think these are
00:50:42
cool.
00:50:42
>> Yeah. So, why those particular socks did
00:50:45
you buy?
00:50:45
>> It's annoying.
00:50:46
>> At the Universal Citywalk.
00:50:49
Well, because
00:50:50
it's Snoopy, but I don't know if it's in
00:50:52
your culture to eat dogs, but in my
00:50:55
culture, it's
00:50:56
>> okay to eat dogs. And I thought that it
00:50:58
would be nice to share culture.
00:51:00
>> See, is that sweet?
00:51:02
>> Okay.
00:51:05
>> No, listen, Rudy, I love I I really do
00:51:08
love Rudy. I'm a fan of yours, I have to
00:51:10
tell you. Um, we don't eat dogs in my
00:51:12
culture um that I know of. No, but I'm
00:51:15
sure it's it's
00:51:16
>> people think it's a cultural thing. I do
00:51:18
think it's a socioeconomic thing. I
00:51:20
think it's like who who can we grab
00:51:23
>> and the doggy go and then
00:51:25
>> you know
00:51:26
>> um but
00:51:27
>> I think you're right. I think you're
00:51:28
right.
00:51:28
>> My mom said that in Cuba they were
00:51:29
eating horse.
00:51:32
>> So
00:51:32
>> that's that would be so tough.
00:51:34
>> There's no fat.
00:51:35
>> Yeah.
00:51:35
>> Did you see that video on Tik Tok where
00:51:37
the I don't know what race they were but
00:51:39
they were boiling a boiling a horse
00:51:41
head. It was very horrifying.
00:51:44
>> What on where what is your algorithm?
00:51:46
>> My algorithm is like that. Yeah. Yeah.
00:51:47
Just boiling horsehead.
00:51:48
>> Oh no. Yeah. Yeah. That's on Ventura.
00:51:51
>> It's on Tik Tok.
00:51:52
>> Yeah, that's on Ventura. I know. Yeah.
00:51:54
Yeah. What do you mean? No. Yes. Yes.
00:51:57
Yes. Yes. No. No. No.
00:51:59
Like open it. Look. All right. All
00:52:01
right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:52:03
>> No. He's brushing HIS TEETH FIRST.
00:52:05
>> Very nice.
00:52:06
>> What's that cavity? You can't eat
00:52:07
cavity.
00:52:07
>> No.
00:52:09
>> That's crazy. A horse head.
00:52:10
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:52:12
>> All right. Enough. Enough. He's getting
00:52:13
sick. Take it off, please,
00:52:16
>> enough.
00:52:17
Oh, so you don't like any of that?
00:52:19
>> Not I mean, what do you mean any of
00:52:21
>> Yeah. What does that even mean?
00:52:23
>> Any of it. There's more
00:52:25
>> like that kind of stuff. You know what I
00:52:26
mean? Yeah. Yeah. You don't like it? I
00:52:27
got Yeah.
00:52:28
>> I'm not sure what it is.
00:52:28
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:52:29
>> What is What is What is your late night
00:52:31
postshow meal? You got to have like a
00:52:33
late whether it's stand up or or taping
00:52:35
an SNL. What are you doing late night?
00:52:37
>> I need to change it, but I love to get
00:52:39
home after doing shows and have like a
00:52:41
burger with fries.
00:52:42
>> In New York, I do Seventh Street Burger.
00:52:44
Have you tried it? Mm-
00:52:46
>> Really good smash burgers. They're
00:52:47
amazing.
00:52:47
>> Smash burgers.
00:52:48
>> And it's open late.
00:52:49
>> It's open super late.
00:52:50
>> It's got to be. These guys aren't done
00:52:51
till till 1 in the morning.
00:52:52
>> That's That's the best. And then here, I
00:52:54
love In-N-Out, dude. I I really enjoy
00:52:56
it.
00:52:57
>> I like the energy there. The people
00:52:58
inside of In-N-Out. They're taking it
00:53:00
serious. They're taking it serious. They
00:53:02
all feel like they're on camera, and
00:53:03
they probably are, but that yesterday we
00:53:06
went a couple days ago, we went and
00:53:07
we're in the window. We're waiting to
00:53:08
get to the lady that gives us the food,
00:53:10
and there's a guy in the window, and
00:53:11
he's looking at us, and we're looking at
00:53:12
him, and we're kind of just waiting for
00:53:13
the food. And then he goes like this. He
00:53:14
goes,
00:53:16
like he wanted to play rock paper
00:53:18
scissors rock paper scissors.
00:53:19
>> Whoa. You know what I mean? Wow.
00:53:21
>> Did you do it?
00:53:22
>> Yeah, of course. Did you win?
00:53:23
>> No, he won. I think he does this a lot.
00:53:26
>> He knows.
00:53:27
>> Yeah. What What's your first just right
00:53:29
now? Instinct. You want to do it?
00:53:30
>> I go Yeah. Yeah. Let's go.
00:53:31
>> Wait. One, two, three.
00:53:32
>> It's always on three. You do it.
00:53:34
>> No. No. You go rock paper scissors.
00:53:35
Shoot. It's
00:53:35
>> correct. It's one rock paper scissors.
00:53:37
Shoot. Okay. Ready? You want to do it?
00:53:39
Rock paper scissors shoot. You won. I
00:53:41
never I've never won that game. I've
00:53:43
literally never won that game. You want
00:53:44
to do one?
00:53:45
>> Go ahead.
00:53:46
>> Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
00:53:48
>> Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
00:53:49
>> Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. You got
00:53:51
me.
00:53:52
>> I did.
00:53:53
>> He also went three times.
00:53:54
>> So, I knew what he was going to do it
00:53:55
again. Yeah. So, that's why I did rocks
00:53:57
the same thing. There's
00:53:58
>> I I think you did do that. 100%.
00:54:00
>> Why did you do that?
00:54:00
>> Well, cuz I want you to feel good. I'm
00:54:02
your friend.
00:54:03
>> Oh, [ __ ] There's a therapist somewhere
00:54:04
that's like if they do paper three times
00:54:06
in a row.
00:54:07
>> Very sad. Some Yeah. Yeah.
00:54:10
>> And tell us about your father. You did
00:54:11
paper three times.
00:54:13
>> Means you don't learn or something.
00:54:14
>> What's your in-n-out order? I'm gonna
00:54:16
guess. You know what? I got it.
00:54:17
>> Give me
00:54:19
I'm picky.
00:54:20
>> Okay.
00:54:20
>> Yeah, I can tell. Yeah, you are. You're
00:54:21
a little sweet prince, aren't you?
00:54:23
>> Well, he's trying to lose weight animal
00:54:25
style.
00:54:26
>> Animal style is not lose weight. The
00:54:27
animal style is just with That's just
00:54:29
grilled onions. No, protein style.
00:54:31
>> That's for me. Protein styles. My bad.
00:54:32
>> No, he doesn't do that. [ __ ] that. But
00:54:33
he But I will tell you, he doesn't like
00:54:35
the onions. He gets those off of there.
00:54:37
No onions.
00:54:38
>> Yes, onions.
00:54:38
>> Yes, onions. Yeah. Onions, dude.
00:54:41
>> But but there is something I take off of
00:54:43
there.
00:54:44
>> Tomatoes.
00:54:44
>> No
00:54:45
>> ch.
00:54:45
>> They're sauce.
00:54:46
>> Yeah.
00:54:46
>> You do?
00:54:47
>> Yeah. They're sauce.
00:54:48
>> Blasphemy.
00:54:49
>> Yeah.
00:54:49
>> You take the sauce off.
00:54:50
>> Double double lettuce, tomato, onion. No
00:54:53
sauce.
00:54:54
>> No sauce.
00:54:54
>> No sauce.
00:54:55
>> No sauce.
00:54:55
>> You love it?
00:54:56
>> I love it.
00:54:56
>> Yeah. Do you eat the pepperonchinis?
00:54:58
>> What's that?
00:54:58
>> Oh, come on, dude.
00:55:00
>> It's like nothing.
00:55:01
>> I was going to talk about nothing.
00:55:02
>> Nothing. You don't
00:55:05
right there. Pepper.
00:55:07
>> What do they call them? They're the
00:55:08
chilies. the the chili.
00:55:09
>> They're not that spicy. Always eat it.
00:55:12
>> They're pickled, right? They're not
00:55:13
spicy.
00:55:14
>> I think also, do you like that stuff?
00:55:17
>> Yeah. Like I'm just see I'm seeing you
00:55:19
go like this. Don't look at me like I
00:55:20
asked a crazy person.
00:55:22
>> She goes like this and I go, "You like
00:55:23
that stuff?" And she goes, "What?
00:55:26
You you were you your body language was
00:55:30
Yes.
00:55:31
>> She likes She likes wild shit."
00:55:32
>> Yeah. I bet. Yeah. Yeah.
00:55:33
>> Do you know what belute is?
00:55:34
>> No.
00:55:35
>> Oh my god. Look at a photo.
00:55:36
>> You go to their house and you eat
00:55:37
whatever.
00:55:38
>> Okay. Okay. Look at me right now before
00:55:40
you look at the photo. Okay. All right.
00:55:41
Balut is this, right?
00:55:43
>> Balut.
00:55:43
>> Balut. Right. You say
00:55:45
>> ballout.
00:55:46
>> So they take a duck egg.
00:55:47
>> Balut,
00:55:47
>> right? And then two weeks before the
00:55:49
duck is born, then they boil it. Yeah.
00:55:51
>> Right. And they ferment it. Yep.
00:55:53
>> Right. And so you eat kind of a baby
00:55:54
ducky kind of situation. Look at the
00:55:56
balloon.
00:55:57
>> That's what it is.
00:55:59
>> It's so good.
00:56:00
>> They love it.
00:56:01
>> They love it.
00:56:02
>> They love it. You put vinegar and salt
00:56:04
and you just slurp the
00:56:06
>> sauce inside.
00:56:07
>> It's not sauce,
00:56:08
>> Marcelo.
00:56:09
>> That's guts.
00:56:10
>> Marcelo, you can taste the feathers.
00:56:13
>> I've had it before.
00:56:14
>> We had it on this show.
00:56:16
>> I've seen you guys talk about it.
00:56:17
>> When you crunch on the skull, you you
00:56:19
can see the brain squirting your baby
00:56:21
squirting your
00:56:21
>> mouth. All right. All right.
00:56:22
>> You know, that's what this show has
00:56:23
become now.
00:56:24
>> Yeah. No, we know.
00:56:26
>> You just stir fried a horse head
00:56:28
>> and then you showed me this.
00:56:29
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:56:30
>> Yeah. Wow. Wow. People of the world,
00:56:31
they have different diets. So, no sauce
00:56:33
on the double double.
00:56:34
>> I don't like I'm not a big sauce guy. I
00:56:36
also think um
00:56:37
>> You like fries as is or you need a more
00:56:39
more crispy
00:56:39
>> fries as I can do it more crispy.
00:56:41
>> I like the more crispy.
00:56:42
>> You know what I mean? But um
00:56:43
>> Are you a gravy guy?
00:56:44
>> No, I think that's gross.
00:56:45
>> Okay. Any gravy on biscuits or anything?
00:56:47
>> Any gravy.
00:56:48
>> And what's the soda order in the in this
00:56:49
combo?
00:56:49
>> Uh Seven Up. I'm a Sprite guy. When I
00:56:51
was little, my dad told me that
00:56:52
Coca-Cola had cockroaches in it cuz he
00:56:54
was scared of me having caffeine and
00:56:55
then being a problem.
00:56:57
>> I see. I see. I see. Yeah. Yeah.
00:56:59
>> Seven Up Sprite. have an upper sprite.
00:57:01
Yeah.
00:57:01
>> Yeah.
00:57:01
>> But I think once you as you get older,
00:57:04
>> you got a better palette. Yeah. Your
00:57:06
soda palette changes.
00:57:07
>> You're just looking for excitement.
00:57:08
>> Do you look at us as like old men?
00:57:10
>> Huh?
00:57:11
>> You look at us like old men.
00:57:12
>> Not old men,
00:57:13
>> but definitely older men.
00:57:14
>> Yeah. Older men.
00:57:15
>> Yeah.
00:57:16
>> Like I think that this
00:57:17
>> when you look at Lauren and me, it's
00:57:18
different.
00:57:18
>> Yes. Different.
00:57:19
>> Oh yeah. But close.
00:57:21
>> No, Lauren, I would say is closer to me
00:57:22
cuz he has gotten to an age where you
00:57:23
can kind of you can make mistakes and
00:57:25
stuff and they're like, "Oh, he's old."
00:57:26
Same way if I make a mistake, they go,
00:57:27
"Oh, he's just a young guy." You guys,
00:57:29
what you're doing, it's important.
00:57:32
>> The decisions you're making, Carlos has
00:57:34
to be careful.
00:57:36
>> You know what I mean? The one with the
00:57:36
glasses and the beanie and the hoodie
00:57:38
inside, he's okay.
00:57:39
>> He can make mistakes.
00:57:40
>> He's 24.
00:57:41
>> He can do this.
00:57:44
>> And people, he's 24.
00:57:46
>> Yeah.
00:57:46
>> And then the other one, you know, uh,
00:57:49
>> mysterious.
00:57:49
>> Mysterious. Yeah.
00:57:50
>> He's 25. He thinks he's more super 20.
00:57:52
He's 26. That's right. I for I always
00:57:54
forget that you got you grew up.
00:57:56
>> You're 24 now, right?
00:57:57
>> That's insane. Bobby, does it feel a
00:57:58
little bit good to have like these white
00:58:00
guys running around doing whatever you
00:58:01
say?
00:58:01
>> I do like it.
00:58:02
>> Yeah,
00:58:03
>> there is a part of it of like Yeah,
00:58:04
>> it is a part of it.
00:58:05
>> Yeah, it's my time.
00:58:07
>> You know what I mean? I'm no longer
00:58:08
running, you know, because in the
00:58:10
beginning I ran. I got all kinds of
00:58:12
stuff like you know I mean
00:58:14
>> so today candy bar. I'll get it. You
00:58:16
know what I mean? But not anymore. They
00:58:17
get the candy bar.
00:58:17
>> I um you know Skankfest.
00:58:19
>> Yeah.
00:58:20
>> I used to do I was an intern at
00:58:22
Skankfest in 2019 2018.
00:58:25
>> Wow. And I so they basically had I was
00:58:28
doing everything. I was setting stuff
00:58:29
up. I was making the goodie bags for the
00:58:31
comedians. I was doing all that stuff.
00:58:32
And then one day the lady that runs the
00:58:34
thing, she goes, "Um, the impractical
00:58:36
jokers are coming." And they would need
00:58:38
a shakurerie board.
00:58:40
>> It sounds like an impractical joke.
00:58:43
>> S and them are coming and they need a
00:58:44
shaky board. It's going to be Sal,
00:58:46
David. They're doing this thing and you
00:58:47
need to get them a shakureri board. And
00:58:49
they give me a card and they go, "Get me
00:58:50
a shakureri board." And now I'm in
00:58:51
Brooklyn. I'm I'm an intern. I'm by
00:58:53
myself and I need to get a shakuri
00:58:54
board.
00:58:56
>> So I'm running around from Delhi to
00:58:57
Delhi. Do you shakuri board? They go
00:58:58
this is a deli. What are you talking
00:58:59
about? I go over and over. Nobody knows.
00:59:00
Nobody knows. Nobody knows how for how
00:59:02
many people is shakur? I go like 10
00:59:03
people. They go that doesn't exist.
00:59:05
You're talking about something. Finally
00:59:06
I show up to a place.
00:59:08
>> I think it was a Korean delhi. I think
00:59:09
there was a Korean guy behind the thing
00:59:11
and I don't know.
00:59:12
>> Yeah. You don't know.
00:59:13
>> There's no way to know. Okay.
00:59:14
>> And um and uh I don't remember. I didn't
00:59:16
ask him that. It was just an Asian guy
00:59:18
and it was at his deli. And I go I need
00:59:19
a shaky board. And he goes, "I'm sorry,
00:59:20
man. We don't do And I go I go, "Do you
00:59:22
have um let me Google what's in our
00:59:24
shakurer board?" And I Google I go, "Do
00:59:25
you have this? Do you have carrots? Do
00:59:26
you have this? Do you have this? Do you
00:59:27
have this? Do you have ham? Do you have
00:59:28
this?" He goes, "Yes, I have all those
00:59:29
things." And I go, "Can we make it
00:59:31
together?" And he goes, "I don't know
00:59:32
how much that would cost." I go, "It's
00:59:34
not my card." And the guy goes, the guy
00:59:37
goes, "Okay, so now I'm behind the deli,
00:59:38
behind the the glass, and I'm chopping
00:59:40
stuff up with him.
00:59:41
>> You're making a bar." If I was, let me
00:59:44
just say, if I got that as a chukuri
00:59:46
board without the like, you know, the
00:59:48
little jam and the, you know, I mean,
00:59:50
all the little things.
00:59:50
>> Well, you didn't let him finish. Maybe
00:59:51
he got the I don't think he did. We
00:59:52
didn't get jam, but
00:59:53
>> you took sandwich meat and you chopped
00:59:55
it up.
00:59:56
>> That's not a churu board.
00:59:57
>> Sandwich meat. We got cheeses, different
00:59:59
cheeses. Um, cucumbers. What's the the
01:00:02
peppers? The long peppers. And we put
01:00:04
them all together in a thing. I made two
01:00:05
of them. I made two of them. And then
01:00:06
the guy goes, "I don't know what to
01:00:07
charge you." And then honestly, he was
01:00:08
like
01:00:09
>> he was he looked at me and he was like,
01:00:10
"I had a good time.
01:00:13
like like we we built a kind of a
01:00:14
relationship and then um and then I
01:00:16
walked in like a legend cuz they were
01:00:18
really panicking about the charity board
01:00:19
and I walked in with the shakureri and
01:00:21
they were like how'd you do this and I
01:00:22
go don't worry about it
01:00:23
>> don't worry
01:00:24
>> and I'll tell you something the jokers
01:00:25
didn't even touch one piece of meat
01:00:27
>> yeah yeah
01:00:28
>> that's the worst part is whenever we get
01:00:29
something in a rider it's like we don't
01:00:30
we didn't even ask for it someone else
01:00:32
said they going to want this and we
01:00:34
never [ __ ] eat any of the stuff they
01:00:35
put in there and then the most beautiful
01:00:37
thing is I did that David telling all
01:00:39
these guys were in the green room and I
01:00:41
didn't get like a big, you know what I
01:00:42
mean? Congratulations, you did it. We
01:00:44
were in a tough place. You saved us. I
01:00:45
didn't feel like I got the credit I
01:00:46
deserved. But they were thankful. It
01:00:48
just was like I I didn't know how what I
01:00:50
went through. And then um the next day
01:00:52
at Skankfest, David came up to me and I
01:00:55
guess he had seen me deliver it and he
01:00:57
gave me a bag of oranges.
01:00:58
>> Yeah.
01:00:59
>> Oh, did he know you did stand up?
01:01:01
>> Yes, I I think so.
01:01:02
>> Yeah. Yeah.
01:01:02
>> He's one of the sweetest guys. He always
01:01:04
brings gifts for people, you know, like
01:01:06
when he goes to the seller, he brings
01:01:07
gifts for everybody in the world. That
01:01:08
was so nice.
01:01:09
>> Have you ever done Skankfest now?
01:01:10
>> Um no. So, you only interned and you
01:01:13
never even got to do it?
01:01:13
>> No. They gave me five minutes though at
01:01:15
the end of it. I got one of those little
01:01:16
shows they let me do.
01:01:17
>> Crushed.
01:01:18
>> Oh, wow. Crushed.
01:01:19
>> I don't think so. It
01:01:20
>> was early.
01:01:22
>> And Skankfest is like there's something
01:01:24
they want to hear.
01:01:25
>> Yeah.
01:01:25
>> And I'm not exactly like I don't know.
01:01:27
>> That's not your thing. How'd you end up
01:01:28
interning? How did that even start?
01:01:30
>> Um, a friend of a friend I interned for
01:01:31
Impractical Jokers. I was a I I used to
01:01:33
hide the cameras. I used to stand in
01:01:35
front of the guy that has has the camera
01:01:37
and I used to wear all black and stand
01:01:38
in front of him.
01:01:40
That's funny.
01:01:41
>> Yeah. Yeah. Really?
01:01:42
>> Yeah. Wow. In a in a park and you stand
01:01:45
there and then I did that for a couple
01:01:47
of times. I did the Impractive Joker's
01:01:49
thing and then um one of the ladies that
01:01:51
was a producer on Impractive Joker, she
01:01:52
knew the producers from Skankfest and
01:01:53
then she put us together and then I did
01:01:54
interning there.
01:01:55
>> Wow.
01:01:55
>> Wow.
01:01:56
>> And look at you now, young man.
01:01:57
>> Look at you now. Look
01:01:58
>> with Rudy. Rudy
01:01:59
>> with Rudy. Rudy
01:02:01
>> Rudy Giuliani.
01:02:02
>> Rudy, do you have any questions that you
01:02:03
want to ask Marcelo? Because this is the
01:02:04
time, man. He came all the way here for
01:02:06
you.
01:02:06
>> True.
01:02:07
>> Um
01:02:08
>> don't stall out. This is so crazy.
01:02:10
You're stalling out all day. She's like
01:02:12
so excited to meet you and then she's
01:02:13
stalling now. Just say what you need to
01:02:15
say.
01:02:15
>> I think you're upset that we don't eat
01:02:16
dog. I think we could still be friends.
01:02:18
>> It's okay.
01:02:19
>> Do you like po?
01:02:22
>> You know, I've heard of it. I can't tell
01:02:24
you what it is.
01:02:25
>> Oh, that's all my question.
01:02:27
>> Okay.
01:02:29
>> That's not your question.
01:02:31
>> That's all you want. Yeah. She does
01:02:33
research.
01:02:33
>> She does research.
01:02:34
>> She works hard on
01:02:35
>> I mean, there's so many other questions
01:02:36
you can ask.
01:02:37
>> Yeah. Almost anything.
01:02:38
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
01:02:38
>> Are you Are you nervous in front of him?
01:02:40
>> No.
01:02:41
>> Oh, Carlos, you're not.
01:02:42
>> You're not.
01:02:43
>> I think you are because you're hamming
01:02:45
it up more than usual.
01:02:46
>> Oo.
01:02:47
>> Yeah.
01:02:48
Way better.
01:02:49
>> Yeah.
01:02:49
>> Wait a minute.
01:02:50
>> Are you really nervous a little bit? Be
01:02:52
honest. It's okay. He can't hear us.
01:02:54
>> But because you knew who he was, right?
01:02:56
>> You said it quieter.
01:02:57
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
01:02:58
>> Maybe a little bit.
01:02:59
>> There we go.
01:03:00
>> That's fine.
01:03:00
>> Now the door's open. Yeah.
01:03:02
>> It's totally fine.
01:03:03
>> Yeah.
01:03:03
>> Do you like dogs?
01:03:04
>> No. No. No. You can't do the dog again.
01:03:06
>> Can't go to the dog again. She
01:03:07
>> I mean there's so many. Did you see
01:03:09
>> a pet? No.
01:03:10
>> My mom has a little tiny dog. I like
01:03:11
>> Did you see Godzilla minus one?
01:03:13
>> No. What's that?
01:03:14
>> It's a movie.
01:03:15
>> I I can I can imagine that.
01:03:16
>> Okay, good. Something you can ask
01:03:18
anything.
01:03:19
>> You know what I mean?
01:03:20
>> Do you like the wind?
01:03:22
>> Huh?
01:03:23
>> Do you like the wind?
01:03:24
>> Yeah.
01:03:24
>> Yeah. Yeah.
01:03:25
>> Hate.
01:03:25
>> You hate the wind?
01:03:26
>> Yeah. It's one of my least favorite
01:03:27
elements.
01:03:27
>> Yeah. Yeah.
01:03:28
>> What's your hair like?
01:03:29
>> What is it? Orange.
01:03:30
>> No. No. Like what's it like? The shape.
01:03:32
>> It's short.
01:03:34
>> Okay.
01:03:35
>> It's a It's a nightmare right now. Yeah.
01:03:37
I was expecting like a
01:03:38
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
01:03:39
>> Oh, no. Oh, dude. I just took a shower
01:03:40
after the gym and came here. It's like a
01:03:42
>> Yeah. Bobby, dude. Bobby is good, man.
01:03:45
>> Bob
01:03:45
>> 54. Still got it.
01:03:47
>> 54. Still got it.
01:03:48
>> It's really nice.
01:03:49
>> Still got it. Thick.
01:03:50
>> Really freaking good, man.
01:03:52
>> Really good, man.
01:03:54
>> I'm really good, dude.
01:03:55
>> I'm sexy, dude.
01:03:56
>> You have always been sexy.
01:03:57
>> Sexy, dude.
01:03:58
>> Even before you lost the weight, you
01:03:59
were sexy.
01:04:00
>> I have an idea. What? You guys do this
01:04:01
stuff all the time. Do Do me a favor.
01:04:03
this new Bobby, skinny Bobby, kind of
01:04:06
like taking care of your body going out
01:04:08
there. Single Bobby,
01:04:09
>> body.
01:04:09
>> What do you do now? Now you would you
01:04:11
say you have a little bit more
01:04:12
confidence now out there?
01:04:14
>> With women?
01:04:15
>> Yeah, with women. No, no, no. Keep the
01:04:16
Can I Can you keep the hair for a
01:04:17
second? So you have a little more
01:04:19
confidence with the women. You would say
01:04:20
>> no.
01:04:21
>> No.
01:04:21
>> No. I mean, what do you mean? I always
01:04:22
have confidence better because you
01:04:23
>> I always have confidence.
01:04:24
>> But you know you look better.
01:04:25
>> What?
01:04:26
>> You know you look better.
01:04:26
>> Do you know what? I'll tell you
01:04:27
something. Okay, Marcelo. All right.
01:04:30
Right. I always shoot my shot.
01:04:32
>> Yeah. Okay. And you know what? I'm not
01:04:34
Robin Hood. Sometimes the arrows miss.
01:04:35
>> Can I see an example?
01:04:38
>> Shoot your shot right now with Andrew
01:04:39
just so I can see. Give it to me.
01:04:40
>> Yeah. Yeah.
01:04:41
>> Well, what's the scenario?
01:04:42
>> I got you. You're at a bar, right?
01:04:44
>> What kind of bar?
01:04:45
>> I need specific.
01:04:46
>> I have a better scenario.
01:04:46
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
01:04:47
>> You just did a show at the store. Okay.
01:04:49
There was a girl in the crowd that was
01:04:50
watching you. You liked it. She was
01:04:52
laughing. She liked your show. You like
01:04:54
her. You see her at the bar outside of
01:04:56
the
01:04:57
>> Okay. In the patio.
01:04:58
>> In the patio. Yeah.
01:04:59
>> And you walk out and you see her there
01:05:01
and you make eye contact
01:05:03
>> and you walk over.
01:05:04
>> Yeah. I walk over and I go, "Hey." I go,
01:05:07
"Hey." I'll say something random. I'll
01:05:09
let it do it for real. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
01:05:12
>> You like the wind.
01:05:17
>> What's up?
01:05:18
>> What's up?
01:05:19
>> I noticed you from across the room.
01:05:20
>> Yeah. She's drunker than you thought.
01:05:22
>> Yeah. What kind of jacket is that?
01:05:24
>> All Saints.
01:05:25
>> Oh, I love All Saints, man. I have two.
01:05:27
One of them this I have a leather
01:05:29
jacket. I think that
01:05:30
>> Are you Chinese?
01:05:32
>> You're making me nervous, dude.
01:05:33
>> Yeah, I'm making
01:05:34
>> Yeah, you're making me nervous. What do
01:05:35
you mean?
01:05:35
>> OH, HOLD ON. LET ME DO IT AGAIN. I got
01:05:37
to wear the hat.
01:05:37
>> Yeah. Yeah. You can come in.
01:05:39
>> Yeah. Yeah. Come in.
01:05:40
>> Hold on.
01:05:40
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
01:05:43
>> I got to be real. But that's You're
01:05:45
being weird. You're being weird. He's
01:05:48
being weird.
01:05:48
>> I'm drunk at the bar. I'm drunk at the
01:05:51
bar. I'm drunk at the bar.
01:05:52
>> You're excited that he's coming over.
01:05:53
You like his show?
01:05:54
>> Oh, I like his show.
01:05:55
>> Oh god.
01:05:56
>> Yeah. Yeah. See that? I don't want that.
01:05:57
I want to hit on that girl.
01:05:58
>> I know. I know.
01:05:59
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
01:06:00
>> Do it with me. Do it with me. Ready?
01:06:01
>> I'll do it with you.
01:06:02
>> I wouldn't [ __ ] you anyway.
01:06:03
>> See, that's what I'm saying. It's a
01:06:05
[ __ ] dead end, dude.
01:06:07
>> Yeah. It's a dead end.
01:06:08
>> I like black guys.
01:06:09
>> Yeah. Yeah. There's no way, dude.
01:06:12
>> Yeah. Yeah.
01:06:14
>> I'm Korean.
01:06:15
>> Yeah.
01:06:16
>> Okay, you can flirt with Go ahead.
01:06:17
>> I saw your show.
01:06:19
>> Oh, you're doing it now.
01:06:20
>> I saw your show.
01:06:21
>> Oh, yeah.
01:06:22
>> So funny.
01:06:23
>> I didn't go up tonight.
01:06:24
>> No, I've seen your show. your bad friend
01:06:26
show.
01:06:27
>> I don't I have a podcast.
01:06:29
>> How'd you know it was a podcast?
01:06:31
>> I did.
01:06:33
>> She's good now.
01:06:33
>> You got me.
01:06:34
>> She's good now.
01:06:34
>> I do have one. Thank you.
01:06:36
>> Yeah, it's You're so funny on there.
01:06:37
>> Thank you so much. What do you do?
01:06:39
>> Um tech.
01:06:40
>> Oh, I love tech.
01:06:41
>> Yeah.
01:06:42
>> Yeah. Yeah. Um you Nike has a new shoe
01:06:45
where you can strap it to your um calf
01:06:47
and it makes you run faster.
01:06:50
>> Really? Do you have them?
01:06:51
>> No, I'm gonna get one. You know, I love
01:06:53
tech. I like all kinds of tech.
01:06:54
>> Yeah. In fact, I have two robots in my
01:06:56
bedroom.
01:06:57
>> Really?
01:06:58
>> Yeah. Yeah.
01:06:58
>> What do they do?
01:06:59
>> Uh, Emo, I can ask for the weather. And
01:07:02
Emo goes, I go, "Good morning, Emo.
01:07:05
Hello, mommy." I go, "What's the weather
01:07:07
like? It's going to be cloudy today."
01:07:11
You know what I mean? And then sometimes
01:07:12
you can shake him and he goes, "Whoa."
01:07:16
Right? Cuz he gets like, you know what I
01:07:17
mean? And then like And also at nights I
01:07:20
always have to say good night.
01:07:22
>> Yeah.
01:07:22
>> It's just a little robot. while I go.
01:07:24
Good night, Emo.
01:07:25
>> Good night.
01:07:25
>> Do you know Marcelo?
01:07:27
>> No. No. No.
01:07:28
>> Could you introduce me to him?
01:07:29
>> Marcelo who?
01:07:31
>> You know,
01:07:32
>> Hernandez.
01:07:32
>> Mhm.
01:07:33
>> Bobby, at no point did you shoot your
01:07:34
shot with this woman?
01:07:37
>> I
01:07:37
>> Look, look, I'll [ __ ] you if you
01:07:39
introduce me.
01:07:40
>> No, no, Marcel, just come. Okay, let me
01:07:42
say something. Right.
01:07:42
>> His shots are slow.
01:07:44
>> Shot took a long time.
01:07:45
>> It's a lot of arc.
01:07:46
>> Yeah, I'm waiting for you to
01:07:48
>> It's not a
01:07:50
compliment.
01:07:50
>> Why don't you hit on him and see what
01:07:52
happens? Yeah.
01:07:52
>> Go ahead.
01:07:53
>> No, no. Let me just say something.
01:07:54
>> Oh, he's offended.
01:07:55
>> I'm not offended. No, I'm not offended.
01:07:56
I was a little offended by the by the
01:07:58
notes out there.
01:07:58
>> It took a long time.
01:07:59
>> I understand that. Right. Okay. What I'm
01:08:01
saying? Right. Sometimes you open,
01:08:03
right? It's a slow open. You do slow.
01:08:05
He's a slow open.
01:08:06
>> And it's a fast close.
01:08:08
>> Oh, wow.
01:08:08
>> Right. You slow you slow open fast.
01:08:11
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right. So, what
01:08:12
I'm saying is is that I just showed you
01:08:15
a technique called slow open.
01:08:16
>> Got it.
01:08:17
>> Okay. It was
01:08:18
>> And kids like you don't understand that
01:08:19
move.
01:08:20
>> You go straight up. You want to [ __ ] I
01:08:21
don't
01:08:23
>> you want me to hit on you?
01:08:24
>> Yeah. Yeah. Go ahead.
01:08:24
>> Okay. Ready?
01:08:25
>> What? You Is it got to be me?
01:08:26
>> Yeah.
01:08:27
>> All right.
01:08:29
>> Hey.
01:08:30
>> Oh my god. Hey.
01:08:31
>> Hey. Wait. Um, are you on SNL?
01:08:35
>> Yeah. You just you were you saw the show
01:08:37
inside. I did in the comedy store.
01:08:39
>> Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You you're really
01:08:40
funny. I I went to the bathroom halfway
01:08:42
during it, but I came back and the clo
01:08:44
the last couple of jokes you did was
01:08:45
funny about your mom in the Puerto Rico.
01:08:47
>> Well, thank you so much. It
01:08:48
>> was really good. The way you do your
01:08:49
accent. Dominican Republic. Cuba.
01:08:51
>> Is it the same?
01:08:52
>> No. Yeah, sure it is. Yeah.
01:08:54
>> Is it?
01:08:54
>> You're funny, too.
01:08:55
>> What?
01:08:55
>> Yeah. I think you
01:08:56
>> Thank you.
01:08:57
>> Yeah.
01:08:57
>> Yeah. What's up?
01:08:58
>> Nothing. I just wanted to come.
01:08:59
>> You live in New York?
01:09:00
>> Yeah, I live in New York.
01:09:01
>> Yeah.
01:09:01
>> I just want to say hi to you. I saw you.
01:09:03
Hi. I thought you were cute.
01:09:04
>> Yeah. Thank you. Hello.
01:09:05
>> Candace, let's get the [ __ ] out of here.
01:09:07
>> Okay, let's go. Who's that guy?
01:09:08
>> Hold on. Hold on. Candace, that's your
01:09:10
name.
01:09:11
>> Yeah, I'm Candace. Why?
01:09:12
>> Well, no, nothing. Owens. I was just
01:09:13
making sure you seen my podcast.
01:09:14
>> OH MY GOD.
01:09:19
UH-UH. You know, you know what? Now that
01:09:21
I Now that I think about
01:09:22
>> Good date. Good date.
01:09:23
>> Good day.
01:09:25
>> It was a good date.
01:09:26
>> Yeah. Yeah.
01:09:27
>> See, he But he closes with a smile.
01:09:29
>> You know,
01:09:29
>> he just flashes those. Look at those
01:09:31
things.
01:09:31
>> This thing,
01:09:34
>> Marcelo. [ __ ] off.
01:09:36
>> It's so different for You're young.
01:09:38
You're on a show.
01:09:40
>> You're You're on the rise.
01:09:42
>> I'm a sinking ship. I'm the Titanic.
01:09:44
>> Let me say something to you right now.
01:09:45
Can I say something? You let me do
01:09:47
Bobby. Can I say something? Can I say
01:09:48
something? Can I say something?
01:09:49
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to say I'm
01:09:50
going to say one thing. I'm going to say
01:09:51
one thing. I'm going to say one thing.
01:09:52
And what I want to say is
01:09:53
>> Yeah.
01:09:54
>> Um and I want to say one thing. Um
01:09:57
>> Bobby,
01:09:57
>> yeah.
01:09:58
>> When you think about it, right?
01:09:59
>> What are women looking for? Someone
01:10:00
that's successful, someone that's
01:10:02
working a lot, someone that's busy, and
01:10:04
someone that's taking care of
01:10:05
themselves.
01:10:06
>> I think the criteria is
01:10:08
>> I think the criteria is different.
01:10:11
Right.
01:10:11
>> Two different worlds.
01:10:12
>> Yeah. Now women are like they need to be
01:10:14
6'2.
01:10:15
>> No. Yeah, I've seen them at Tik Tok.
01:10:17
>> True.
01:10:17
>> Yeah. Yeah. I I get that and I get the
01:10:19
boiling horse head in my TikTok feed.
01:10:22
Okay. All right. So, I get two things,
01:10:23
right? And then I, you know, I mean, and
01:10:25
they're like, I want 6'2. They have to
01:10:26
make 3 million a year. And their
01:10:28
criteria is different.
01:10:29
>> No, they're not.
01:10:29
>> I'm 5'4. You know what I mean? I'm
01:10:31
weird.
01:10:32
>> I forgot you were 5'4.
01:10:33
>> Yeah. Yeah. How tall are you, little
01:10:36
>> 5'8?
01:10:36
>> Are you really 5'8? Yeah,
01:10:38
>> but you're 54. 5'4, 54. It's a good
01:10:40
luck. Maybe that's good luck.
01:10:41
>> That's good.
01:10:41
>> Yeah, it's a good thing.
01:10:42
>> How tall are you, Andrew?
01:10:43
>> 61.
01:10:44
>> Yeah.
01:10:44
>> Yeah.
01:10:44
>> Yeah. Yeah.
01:10:45
>> And and he developed a personality.
01:10:48
>> My personality is [ __ ]
01:10:49
>> No, yours is fantastic. He's not saying
01:10:51
it's
01:10:51
>> makes sense.
01:10:52
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
01:10:52
>> He's not saying let me ask you
01:10:53
something. You don't think I have a
01:10:54
personality?
01:10:55
>> It makes sense that you have a
01:10:56
personality. You're 5'4.
01:10:57
>> Oh, that's what you're saying. You know
01:10:58
what I mean?
01:10:58
>> Oh, yeah. So, he's 6'2 and he had to
01:11:00
develop birth.
01:11:01
>> Wait, the red head.
01:11:02
>> The red head.
01:11:02
>> Is that what happened?
01:11:03
>> Red hair. Red hair. Where did you grow
01:11:05
up? They came at you for that.
01:11:06
>> A little bit.
01:11:07
>> Yeah. Yeah.
01:11:07
>> A little bit.
01:11:08
>> The Chicago projects.
01:11:10
>> No.
01:11:10
>> Yeah. Always in the projects. No. I was
01:11:13
in the projects.
01:11:14
>> Oh.
01:11:15
I always tell people that you were part
01:11:16
for the project.
01:11:17
>> Why do you do that?
01:11:18
>> What?
01:11:18
>> It's like one of those stand and deliver
01:11:20
kind of, you know what I mean? You mean
01:11:22
like green?
01:11:23
>> He was in the project. He rose. You know
01:11:25
what I mean? The story is better.
01:11:26
>> Yeah, it is. I like the story.
01:11:28
>> If you say from the suburbs, who give a
01:11:29
[ __ ] from the project? Yeah. From the
01:11:31
project. Toughest toughest part.
01:11:33
>> Yeah. I'm from the streets of Korea,
01:11:34
dude.
01:11:35
>> I'm from San Diego.
01:11:36
>> I know. But I tell people Korea.
01:11:37
>> San Diego. Busong, dude. Busang.
01:11:39
>> Bus. Yeah. Yeah. During the war, dude. I
01:11:41
had nothing.
01:11:42
>> He really did. And yet took a little
01:11:43
boat to America. Went to open mic and
01:11:45
here I am.
01:11:46
>> They used to do open mics on the boat on
01:11:48
the way over.
01:11:48
>> You would kill.
01:11:49
>> Hello.
01:11:51
>> Everybody. Everybody on.
01:11:55
>> That's me doing stand up on a boat.
01:11:56
>> I know.
01:12:01
>> You got scared. I did an accent. No.
01:12:03
>> Yeah. A little bit.
01:12:04
>> Accents.
01:12:05
>> I know you do.
01:12:06
>> You do. You do.
01:12:06
>> You do accents.
01:12:07
>> I do. I do. I do.
01:12:08
>> Spanish, too, huh?
01:12:09
>> Yeah. Sometimes.
01:12:11
Sometimes
01:12:12
>> you speak Spanish. What do you say in
01:12:13
Spanish?
01:12:14
>> I can't. Well, I can't say it because
01:12:16
you'll know it.
01:12:17
>> But say it.
01:12:18
>> No, man.
01:12:19
>> Have some fun, man.
01:12:19
>> No, because our Latin audience has been
01:12:21
writing letters lately and they're
01:12:23
really upset. Yeah, they they're upset.
01:12:25
Carlos knows and Fancy, they've been
01:12:27
writing a lot of letters.
01:12:29
>> Just just about the way that we treat
01:12:30
our our Latin employees.
01:12:32
>> And we should say that the Latinos that
01:12:33
you're going to be fine and everything's
01:12:34
going to be okay and we love you here.
01:12:35
>> They didn't write us letters. I was
01:12:36
joking around. Say something positive
01:12:38
about Latino.
01:12:39
>> They say something positive. That's
01:12:40
actually Let's go around the room.
01:12:42
>> I have many things I want to say.
01:12:43
>> Let's go around the room. And And Rudy
01:12:44
should go first.
01:12:45
>> Okay. Go. Go. What do Yeah.
01:12:47
>> I love their food. I love their
01:12:49
language.
01:12:50
>> You can't do more than one. You can't do
01:12:51
more. We all need to We all need some of
01:12:53
that.
01:12:53
>> I love their noses.
01:12:55
>> Very Their noses.
01:12:56
>> Very good.
01:12:56
>> Very good.
01:12:57
>> We'll take it. Okay. Who's next for us?
01:12:59
I'll go that way. Go ahead. Go ahead.
01:13:00
>> All right. You'll know what I mean when
01:13:03
I say it. You'll know what I mean.
01:13:04
>> Okay.
01:13:06
>> I have a dream too, Richie.
01:13:08
>> Laba.
01:13:12
Richie Val instead.
01:13:13
>> Okay. You love Richie Val.
01:13:14
>> I love him.
01:13:14
>> That's nice.
01:13:21
>> How you still Asian while you're doing?
01:13:22
>> I do it in Japanese.
01:13:24
>> Yeah.
01:13:24
>> Yeah.
01:13:25
>> It's like a Japanese Richie Valent.
01:13:31
>> Go ahead.
01:13:32
>> Really good.
01:13:32
>> Really good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
01:13:39
He
01:13:40
>> go ahead. Go ahead.
01:13:41
>> Some of the most beautiful women I think
01:13:42
I've ever seen IN MY ENTIRE
01:13:43
>> OH MY GOD. HALLELUJAH.
01:13:45
>> My biggest my biggest my first crush my
01:13:47
first crush was at an arcade and a uh a
01:13:51
Puerto Rican chick who was much older
01:13:53
than me was with like her little brother
01:13:55
who was near my age. And for the first
01:13:57
time in my life I I thought I don't know
01:14:00
what this feeling is but I like that
01:14:01
thing.
01:14:02
>> Wow.
01:14:02
>> I don't know what it was. I was like,
01:14:03
you know, when you were too young to
01:14:04
understand, but you were like, whatever
01:14:05
this is, I like that.
01:14:06
>> Whatever that is.
01:14:07
>> I love I loved what you said except when
01:14:09
you called her a thing. Did you feel
01:14:10
that way?
01:14:10
>> No. No,
01:14:12
>> not her. The idea. I didn't know what
01:14:15
you didn't understand what feelings are.
01:14:17
You go, I like this. Whatever this
01:14:19
feeling is, I like that thing. That
01:14:21
feeling of like you. I like you. I don't
01:14:23
even know why that what that means.
01:14:25
That's before when you didn't understand
01:14:26
girls and you were young and you were
01:14:27
like, I like it.
01:14:28
>> It was just a feeling.
01:14:29
>> Well, you can't even describe. It's like
01:14:30
a I think do I and I want to and I
01:14:34
>> Well, no, you don't know how to feel.
01:14:36
You're like, what is that? How to That's
01:14:37
why little kids hit each other cuz they
01:14:39
like each other. They don't know how to
01:14:40
feel. They're like They don't know how
01:14:41
to tell each other, "I like you." Say
01:14:43
pull a girl's hair cuz they're like, "I
01:14:44
[ __ ] like you so much."
01:14:45
>> God,
01:14:47
>> that's your guy's crux. That's the crux.
01:14:50
>> Bobby's addiction and your anger.
01:14:52
>> Yeah.
01:14:53
>> Dude, he does have rage.
01:14:54
>> And he's strong.
01:14:55
>> Yeah. Your strong has rage.
01:14:57
>> Yeah. He's an athlete.
01:14:58
>> Cast me. He's an athlete. What do you
01:15:00
guys like about Latinos?
01:15:02
>> Huh?
01:15:02
>> I just watched El Mariachi.
01:15:04
>> Okay.
01:15:05
>> Robert Rodriguez did.
01:15:06
>> But you didn't say you liked something.
01:15:07
You said you watched a film.
01:15:08
>> I loved it.
01:15:09
>> El Mario was a great movie.
01:15:10
>> I thought it was better than Desperado.
01:15:12
>> Nah.
01:15:13
>> Compared it to another Latin movie.
01:15:14
Okay.
01:15:15
>> Well, it was his other movie.
01:15:16
>> All right, Richie.
01:15:17
>> Yeah. Go ahead, Richie.
01:15:18
>> Oh, well, I have a reoccurring
01:15:19
>> Whoa, that's your voice.
01:15:20
>> WHAT? THAT'S ME.
01:15:21
>> WOW, MAN.
01:15:25
UM, I HAVE THIS reoccurring dream where
01:15:27
I have a Latino wife. Um, so I I feel
01:15:30
like I'm searching for her.
01:15:31
>> What's her name?
01:15:31
>> What's her name, dude?
01:15:32
>> I I don't know.
01:15:33
>> Make it up.
01:15:34
>> Marissa. And what happens in the dream
01:15:36
that How do you know she's Latin?
01:15:38
>> Well, all right. So, I wake up and I'm
01:15:40
like in I'm definitely in Mexico.
01:15:41
>> She's yelling at me first thing in the
01:15:43
morning. How do you know it's Mexico?
01:15:45
>> No, it's just like the architecture.
01:15:46
Like it just feels
01:15:47
>> Okay. You could be in Spain, though,
01:15:48
too.
01:15:48
>> Could be in Spain, but like somewhere
01:15:50
>> See how he's answering this? He's
01:15:51
skating around everything like careful
01:15:53
careful careful careful careful.
01:15:55
>> Okay, so you're ahead.
01:15:56
>> Somewhere I'm in Mexico. I'm like waking
01:15:58
up like my wife's like making bacon and
01:15:59
eggs and I'm like like great in the
01:16:01
morning and then I like walk up and like
01:16:02
we have a little kiss. I'm like oh like
01:16:04
this is awesome. Like thank you for
01:16:05
making me breakfast. And then she's like
01:16:06
I'm pregnant. And I'm like oh my god
01:16:08
that's so awesome.
01:16:08
>> And that's how you know she's Latino.
01:16:10
She's pregnant and you just met her.
01:16:12
You're racist Richard. This is like my
01:16:15
wife. It's like years in the future.
01:16:16
It's a dream and she's making and then
01:16:18
you speak some Spanish to her. What do
01:16:19
you say?
01:16:21
Hola.
01:16:23
>> Mama Richie.
01:16:24
>> So, you introduce yourself time.
01:16:26
Extreme.
01:16:27
>> Well, she's got she's got brain damage.
01:16:30
>> He has to do that to make sure she
01:16:31
remembers who he is.
01:16:32
>> Okay.
01:16:33
>> The idea is very funny that you were
01:16:34
married to this woman for a very long
01:16:36
time. She's making you bacon and eggs in
01:16:38
the morning.
01:16:38
>> You probably have a pet chupacabra.
01:16:40
>> You son of a No.
01:16:42
>> A little baby chupacabra. And he's
01:16:45
every morning. Yeah. Yeah.
01:16:48
I've never I don't know what chupacabra
01:16:49
sounds like, but I assume that's what
01:16:50
>> you have a you have a you have a pet you
01:16:52
have a pet baby chupacabra and then Rudy
01:16:54
comes in and eats it.
01:16:57
>> What about you, Carlos? Say something
01:16:58
nice about the Latinos if you don't
01:16:59
mind.
01:17:00
>> The Mexican hairless dog.
01:17:01
>> He loves Mexican hairless dogs. One of
01:17:03
his favorite that he talks about it all
01:17:04
the time. Loves this dog.
01:17:06
>> I want one.
01:17:07
>> He wants one very
01:17:08
>> They all have a mohawk.
01:17:09
>> Yeah.
01:17:10
>> Wow. That is very cool. I've never seen
01:17:11
that before.
01:17:12
>> Have you never seen a Mexican Harris?
01:17:14
>> Great. And that's him. He's Yeah. See
01:17:15
that? It's a match.
01:17:16
>> Reverse me.
01:17:17
>> Whoa.
01:17:19
>> Wow.
01:17:20
>> Reverse you.
01:17:21
>> Isn't that crazy? You never knew that
01:17:22
about him?
01:17:23
>> Yeah. Yeah.
01:17:23
>> My god, Carlos.
01:17:25
>> Is that crazy?
01:17:27
>> It is very crazy.
01:17:28
>> It's crazy, right? I thought you the
01:17:30
show, dude.
01:17:30
>> No, I I DIDN'T SEE THAT.
01:17:33
>> WOW, CARLOS.
01:17:34
>> WOW.
01:17:34
>> YEAH.
01:17:35
>> WOW. No wonder you have that anger,
01:17:36
Carlos.
01:17:38
>> I'm not mad.
01:17:39
>> Yes.
01:17:39
>> I'm not mad.
01:17:40
>> Yes. And you know what's funny? They
01:17:41
look down on you.
01:17:43
>> They have hair, don't they? You know
01:17:45
what? You're a beautiful man. Don't let
01:17:48
anybody tell you.
01:17:48
>> Listen, he's not wrong. You are a
01:17:50
beautiful man from the forehead down.
01:17:52
>> Yeah. Yeah. Keep the hat on. Wild.
01:17:55
>> Carlos, you're holding on.
01:17:56
>> Yeah.
01:17:57
>> You'd be a good-looking bald guy. Why
01:17:58
not just do it?
01:17:59
>> I've been that. It just wasn't me.
01:18:01
>> When we years ago, he used to shave it
01:18:03
all off and then he started to do this
01:18:05
look again. But by the way,
01:18:07
>> women love it.
01:18:07
>> Women the success rate with this is
01:18:09
through the roof.
01:18:09
>> Really?
01:18:10
>> Yeah. Women love it. It's immediate
01:18:11
sympathy.
01:18:13
Is that what I said?
01:18:15
>> Your authentic self.
01:18:16
>> You know what I think it is that they
01:18:18
like about that? That it is very unique.
01:18:20
>> Like there's only so many men that were
01:18:22
willing to do that.
01:18:23
>> No. And next to him, they're going to
01:18:24
look nine.
01:18:27
>> Can we get you a toupe? I want one. Have
01:18:29
you ever had a toupe?
01:18:30
>> You would do it.
01:18:30
>> Got me one.
01:18:31
>> Oh,
01:18:31
>> I think you look good.
01:18:33
>> What if we did? What if we What if we
01:18:34
bought him a hair like bought him one of
01:18:35
those hair pieces that they glue on the
01:18:37
real got one?
01:18:38
>> Oh, yeah.
01:18:39
>> Yeah. Annie Letterman got me that.
01:18:41
>> She got your real one, right? What? What
01:18:42
about the spray?
01:18:44
>> I don't think the spray works.
01:18:45
>> Steen, let's get a spray.
01:18:46
>> That's a lot of spray. It's a full
01:18:48
>> would be good content, though, is if you
01:18:50
guys bought him a trip to Turkey and
01:18:54
made him film all of it.
01:18:55
>> Yeah, it's a lot of turkey.
01:18:57
>> Would you take that?
01:18:58
>> I would go to Turkey.
01:18:59
>> And we bought you hair
01:19:00
>> and you have to film the whole thing.
01:19:02
>> Yeah.
01:19:02
>> Yeah. But that's a lot. That's a lot of
01:19:04
hair, man. That's not like a little bit.
01:19:06
>> You think it's going to be too
01:19:06
expensive?
01:19:07
>> Yeah. That's the money problem.
01:19:09
>> $450,000. It's like the hairline would
01:19:11
be up here. Mine's like back here,
01:19:13
>> right? Turn around real quick.
01:19:14
>> But they still can DO OH MY GOD, DUDE.
01:19:17
>> But he has a He has a great smile. He
01:19:18
has a great face.
01:19:19
>> Yeah. I never seen the back though. That
01:19:21
back is wild. Turn around in the back
01:19:22
again.
01:19:23
>> I have to people.
01:19:24
>> Can you turn around in the back?
01:19:26
>> Jeez. My god.
01:19:27
>> That guy does creepy crime.
01:19:29
>> I I know. But you know, you know what
01:19:31
really is the land the land for him with
01:19:33
women truly is and I've heard this from
01:19:35
every woman ever that we've that we have
01:19:38
like mutual either friends or peers or
01:19:40
co-workers. They're all like Carlos is
01:19:41
such a sweet guy,
01:19:42
>> right?
01:19:43
>> Like he's so [ __ ] nice and M's
01:19:45
nodding off cuz he knows the truth. The
01:19:47
guy has a way with people and women the
01:19:50
way he's like disarming and sweet and
01:19:52
genuine
01:19:53
>> that that gets them, dude. Sometimes
01:19:56
that's all they need. And also a guy
01:19:58
that is willing to let his hair look
01:20:00
like that
01:20:01
>> is very confident on the inside.
01:20:03
>> He is a confident guy.
01:20:05
>> Yeah, probably.
01:20:06
>> And a guy like Richie on the other hand,
01:20:08
uh, too confident for no reason.
01:20:11
>> For no reason.
01:20:11
>> Richie, what's under the hood there?
01:20:12
Show.
01:20:13
>> No, he's got a nice head of lettuce.
01:20:14
>> Fine.
01:20:15
>> Yeah.
01:20:15
>> Wow.
01:20:16
>> Wow.
01:20:17
>> Well, now you look more like a lesbian
01:20:19
now for some reason.
01:20:20
>> Yeah. Yeah.
01:20:20
>> Where did you get him? That's what he
01:20:21
does whenever he's
01:20:22
>> I know.
01:20:23
>> Were you going to Lilithare? What's
01:20:24
going on? He
01:20:27
>> Sarah Mlaughlin take it.
01:20:28
>> He works as a he works at the other our
01:20:30
other studio helping out and then he was
01:20:32
designated to come over here when Fancy
01:20:33
was gone and we kind of liked him. We
01:20:35
left him. We said, "You know what? Let
01:20:36
the kid keep coming by." Were you an
01:20:38
intern first over there?
01:20:39
>> I wasn't an intern. I was a PA first.
01:20:40
>> God, every time he talk I talking.
01:20:42
>> Yeah, I know.
01:20:43
>> It's
01:20:45
But you're not a Quinnipic kid.
01:20:46
>> I am.
01:20:47
>> Oh, you are?
01:20:48
>> That was the first time I was here.
01:20:49
>> That Oh, really? You were? We had these
01:20:51
guys come from college. They come over
01:20:52
and they did an intern thing.
01:20:54
>> And can you sing? No.
01:20:55
>> Can you just try?
01:20:57
>> Yeah. Yes.
01:20:57
>> Like just give him a song.
01:20:59
>> Amazing Grace. It's a public domain
01:21:01
song. Go ahead.
01:21:02
>> Amazing.
01:21:06
>> No. Commit to it.
01:21:08
>> Sing yourself. Stop. Yeah.
01:21:09
>> Sing your favorite song.
01:21:11
>> Your favorite song. Sing it.
01:21:14
>> It's Gu, right? What is it?
01:21:16
>> Oh, I'm blanking on like every song
01:21:17
ever. Right now.
01:21:18
>> Anything you got.
01:21:21
>> We're singing a song. This is my song.
01:21:24
What?
01:21:25
>> Just do Pink Pony Club. That's what you
01:21:27
love. You love that [ __ ] song.
01:21:28
>> Pink Pony Club. I'm just going to keep
01:21:31
on dancing at the Pink Bunny Club.
01:21:35
>> Is he doing a Mexican accent? Anybody
01:21:37
else feeling
01:21:41
bunny?
01:21:45
>> I'm trying to do chaperon.
01:21:46
>> Yeah. Chaperon.
01:21:48
>> Chapperel.
01:21:48
>> Chaperon.
01:21:49
>> Chaperon.
01:21:50
>> Yeah. He can't dance. He can't sing.
01:21:52
>> I can dance.
01:21:55
Come on. Come on.
01:21:56
>> You can see here.
01:21:57
>> No. No. Get your thing out. Go. I've
01:22:00
come here. I've made all the white
01:22:01
people do something in front of me.
01:22:03
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
01:22:06
>> All right. All right.
01:22:07
>> Oh. Oh.
01:22:09
>> Music.
01:22:09
>> Yeah. Yeah.
01:22:11
>> Yeah. All right.
01:22:12
>> Yeah. Rudy's right. I think he might
01:22:14
have a big penis.
01:22:15
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
01:22:15
>> I don't know why he's keeping these
01:22:16
girls around. This is I I can't
01:22:18
>> What was the thing?
01:22:18
>> It was so good. Rich, what size shoe are
01:22:20
you, Rich?
01:22:20
>> 12 and a half.
01:22:21
>> Yeah. Go back in the thing.
01:22:24
Get away from me with that thing.
01:22:25
>> Yeah.
01:22:26
>> Get out of here. I might sue you.
01:22:27
>> Yeah. Yeah. Real bad.
01:22:29
>> Marcelo.
01:22:30
>> No.
01:22:31
>> We want to say thank you for coming on
01:22:33
the show.
01:22:33
>> Yeah.
01:22:33
>> It always happens like this. The ending.
01:22:35
It comes out of nowhere.
01:22:35
>> No, it doesn't. You know why?
01:22:37
>> You have a special, right? We
01:22:38
>> because we want to talk about the real
01:22:40
[ __ ]
01:22:40
>> Oh, okay.
01:22:41
>> Your special's coming out. Yeah.
01:22:42
>> January 7th.
01:22:43
>> Yeah.
01:22:43
>> It's called
01:22:44
>> American Boy.
01:22:45
>> American Boy.
01:22:46
>> And the irony of that is staggering.
01:22:47
>> That's what it's for.
01:22:48
>> Yeah.
01:22:48
>> I know. I know. He's stepping on our
01:22:50
>> I've seen some of it.
01:22:52
>> Not not the special, but I've seen some
01:22:54
>> stand up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Looks great.
01:22:57
>> Thank you, man.
01:22:57
>> Right.
01:22:58
>> Um we're proud of you.
01:22:59
>> Oh, man.
01:23:00
>> Yeah.
01:23:00
>> He needed that, by the way. Used to say
01:23:02
that.
01:23:02
>> I do.
01:23:03
>> Uh
01:23:03
>> I look up to you guys. You got me
01:23:04
through the band.
01:23:05
>> I know we did.
01:23:06
>> God bless.
01:23:06
>> Um you're on the rise.
01:23:08
>> Congratulations.
01:23:08
>> He's at the top.
01:23:09
>> You're at the top.
01:23:10
>> It's only down from here.
01:23:11
>> It's only down from here.
01:23:12
>> But if God forbid you ever go back down,
01:23:16
>> right?
01:23:16
>> Right. We'll be here. Well, you can't
01:23:18
come back here if you do go down, but we
01:23:20
will be we'll be around.
01:23:21
>> We'll be around. We will say hi.
01:23:23
>> We'll say hello.
01:23:24
>> Yeah. Yeah. At a club or whatever.
01:23:25
>> Everybody, please watch American Boy.
01:23:26
So, it's out right now.
01:23:28
>> Yeah. Check it out now. Please go.
01:23:29
Whatever you're doing right now, watch
01:23:30
it now.
01:23:31
>> Thank you for being a bad friend.
01:23:45
Yeah.
01:23:50
Yeah.
