00:00:00
hey SC time USA SC time USA you guys if you guys missed that live you missed out
00:00:07
because it was probably one of the best I've ever done strong strongest we've ever done I think it felt so cool it felt cool and right now you can still
00:00:13
watch it you didn't get to see it live it's not going to be as beautiful when it's not live but you can still watch uh
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a edited cut of most of almost everything that we did on there Y at moment. co/ badf friends scary time USA
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they also got a one-off shirts hoodies poster stuff like that on the site that
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we're going to stop selling after scary times USA is gone so 18 days left from right now is all you got go to moment.
00:00:38
badf friends hey hello hello hello hello we're going to be Dan and listen we
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added shows and uh you guys have done such a great job coming out and see us that we had ad shows so Sydney uh we got
00:00:50
a couple of shows we're doing Brisbane Auckland Melbourne a couple of shows ad ad alide Perth Australia and then
00:00:57
finally Singapore Singapore if you want to come see us in any of those spots you better get your tickets right now
00:01:03
they're going to sell badri pod.com badri pod.com for the joy we're we may never even be a long time we we probably
00:01:10
might not come back together who knows all right this episode of bad friends is presented and fueled by hu your go to
00:01:16
for Complete Nutrition try hule with 15% off today using Code bad friends my.u.com
00:01:22
badri you two are bad friends who are these two idiots a white dude and an
00:01:28
Asian dude you two are disgusting you two are something we're
00:01:34
bad friends you know what I've been watching is um people kids watching six cents for the first time how do you like
00:01:40
not know the outcome of that movie well if kids were people that were born in the year like 2000 a 20 four-year-old
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doesn't know yeah I just feel like that's something that they you know it's like you know soiling green are people
00:01:53
do you remember that yeah like I never saw soil and green but
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I know soil and green are people yeah but 99 this movie came out okay okay so kids born in 2201 young 20year olds they
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wouldn't have seen this but no I'm saying they haven't seen it but would they know the you know what I mean the
00:02:11
switch right maybe the surprise I just feel like that's a part of but when you watch YouTubers or people watching it
00:02:18
they get really like oh is he's dead you know what I want to give it away but they're they get freaked out is it black
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dudes too especially it's always no oh no you know what I mean they got no by the way we you know we've reached
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internet but someone literally sent this to me yesterday I came and text Carlos you know how black dudes will get high
00:02:35
and watch Comedy stuff yeah there's two black guys that got high to watch bad friends no and I was like we made I
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don't I don't even watch it we made it I don't even want to watch it cuz they laugh D get high and watch us do they
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watch yeah do they laugh they were dying yeah that made me feel so cool that's like when a black guy calls you the
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n-word you know what I mean and you're like all right I'll take it because at the I did a firefighter show you did a
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firefighter show a what did you say a firefighter show what' you think I said
00:03:05
a firefighter show I said firefighter show it sounds the same no I slow it
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down do it one more time I did a firefighter show firefighter show that's not what I said D and that's firefighter
00:03:17
show bro bro bro come on dude it's a firefighter show right go ahead R was
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there um Fireball
00:03:32
is that what he says wait what is it
00:03:39
hauken with hadoken no in Street Fighter is it Street Fighter yeah Street Fighter Street Fighter hadoken haduken that's
00:03:47
what he says haduken oh yeah yeah it's haduken okay haduken uh wave motion or
00:03:54
fist of surge special attack from Capcom Street Fighter anyway sorry so you're at
00:03:59
a fire fire show am I saying it right I think so
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yeah a fire fireman show yeah sounds gay yeah sounds like a
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that's gay little gay burles show we're GNA put you out oh well then forget it no come on I
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mean I don't want to partake anymore you were at a firefighter show oh God it's a dead end
00:04:25
huh not at the firefighter show your end's always open so see so it was a benefit show at the Improv and it was so
00:04:33
it was me Griffin right Amir K and Fitz Simmons I love Amir I love Fitz Fitz
00:04:40
right and Griff I love Griff right but the first part of the show was firefighters doing standup oh like local
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La Department yeah and they had about eight of them it was to raise money for these guys it was like some sort of
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benefit for fire people what is going on with this they're always handing out buckets they need money these guys what's going on with these guys dud
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fighting fire is expensive they're never doing it water you need what else do you need that's
00:05:05
it they're never fighting fire dalm just water oh you got to have a dog you got to have you need you need the Dalmation
00:05:11
you do yeah yeah yeah for Optics mhm right no they go or maybe the shiny red you know yeah the fire you got to shine
00:05:18
that up the what the fire truck yeah it's already shine pre- shined yeah but so you those are extra shiny see that's
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why it starts to get real gay they're in the firehouse they're C they're shining it up all day with their shirts up they're just weights they have their
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hoses out mhm there's a pole there there's there's a pole there's a pole
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they're raising money and a floor glory hole a a FL gigantic FL hole a FL hole a
00:05:42
milking table with Earth yeah kind of yeah no you can do that like on a beach
00:05:50
you can lay I have no idea what you're saying continue the story okay anyway um don't give him too much air
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time so you know I I went early we all went early mhm and number one they
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killed no way yeah one after another I'm not kidding you who was in the crowd people whose houses were on fire
00:06:10
no no no no no oh they're fire people oh it's all fire people yeah it's all firemen well that's why they no but no
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but they were actually okay like who wrote the jokes for them I don't know and they all had different point of
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views they all went it got to the point though dude where me Griffin and Amir were standing there and we all were
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holding each other going what if we bomb it would be cuz we're we're
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supposed to be the pros yeah right so then Eric goes up there he does good I'm
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next right mhm and I don't know why I brought this up because you brought up the two um two black guys black guys
00:06:44
watching right and this dude this black dude had shades on you know how
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sometimes they get Martin lweny yeah 100% you know what I mean
00:06:55
like they get like like B anyy yeah like you know what mean they just get all hold on just get
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all like where am I you know I mean what are you talking about dude
00:07:09
they get all I was with you with Martin Lawrence I he lost me I don't no he was
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an older black guy right he's wearing like a brown tracksuit he was wearing
00:07:20
Shades and he was just kind of going where am I you know I mean was he on stage no he was off to the side you know
00:07:26
how you go down the stairs he was sitting there with shades with a beautiful his wife yeah you know what I mean but
00:07:31
they're older and also they like to I don't say they that's insane that's
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insane what I'm doing I know what you were saying no yeah no no yeah but you know he had like one leg on something like this like this like this as if he
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was in a park on a bench drinking lemonade H in a nice summer day and you
00:07:49
know what color it is it's pink it's purple it's pink it's grape they black
00:07:55
people love pink lemonade they do the way that we love honoral Palmer so this guy right I was observing him yeah he
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was dying laughing at every fireman okay okay he was a fireman himself I don't
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know I didn't ask him he must have you know and um he was laughing but then when I went
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up ice cold ice cold like a river nothing nothing not a smile not a smirk
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not a wi he almost looked mad when I'm when I get nervous yeah and I have to do
00:08:26
well I start getting real weird fast up front I know you I mean I I make my hair
00:08:32
weird but I like it I stumble on stage like a character you know what I mean and I just start going you know what I
00:08:38
mean you know I mean poking my p PE you know what I mean like I L go like that
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right and he media's like nah nah he didn't like that I crushed still but
00:08:50
still he I couldn't break him yeah you never will I will no you will not one day I will sir wherever you are yeah
00:08:57
come back to a show sir let's see if we can really really crack you yeah anyway um do you know how much
00:09:03
money they raised for firefighters I didn't ask my grandfather was a firefighter you know that I've talked to
00:09:09
him over the years and I said you know cops get a lot of like flak you know cops are always they're always like uh
00:09:15
cops are racist you know that's a lot of flak people say I don't know about that you never heard this never heard that
00:09:21
good but I think it's interesting that people always say like oh cops are racist all the cops are bad all cops are
00:09:26
racist firefighters never no one ever says that about them I don't think they are oh they are yes they are oh they
00:09:35
I'll tell you what can I give you a theory maybe yeah dude they're just stronger cops yeah imagine it's a job that you have yeah
00:09:42
when only one specific event happens yeah right so there could be a month that goes by no or like you're a robbery
00:09:48
is there a fire every day no right so what I'm saying is that I I assume
00:09:54
months go by they rescue cats from trees they do but [ __ ] you all right 176 fire
00:10:01
stations exist no how many fires are there in the United States no but in LA in La I will say this out every day look
00:10:07
at this approximately 177,000 fires in the city that also includes like small shop for front fire that's yeah that's
00:10:15
not a big that's not you know exactly it's not real it's not real arson that
00:10:20
includes arson arson still 46 a day oh so then they they're always working
00:10:25
they're probably pretty busy yeah okay well then my theory is wrong I always assume like you know they're
00:10:30
just playing like Jenga up there in the firehouse you know what I mean and then oh man you know what I mean I don't know
00:10:36
why I said it like that but like oh man fire let's go and they go down the pool they have
00:10:42
way more medical emergencies in the West Hollywood fire department that's all medical emergency oh that's where they they uh because we I used to you know we
00:10:49
used to um cuz when you get something stuck up your ass they got to be there for all that no K used to get heart murmur no I get them all the time and
00:10:56
then we call the ambulance no I don't do that and a fire truck would come sometimes they have to yeah yeah yeah they come why though why what why the
00:11:02
fire truck the ambulance they want to show off their big ladder oh no they have I think it's part
00:11:08
of the it's a part of uh it's required that they have to show up with it with paramedics because in case someone stuck
00:11:15
in something or who knows well here let's get the [ __ ] answer from this woman the goal is to get help who needs it as fast as possible ambulances can be
00:11:21
delayed or unavailable at the time because paramedics also are are EMT EMTs also can be firefighters or they have to
00:11:28
be oh I think you're right because I think um a couple couple of times ambulance didn't come it was only a
00:11:34
firefighter but he had but he had all the equipment yeah he had the experience and they had that wow they do so many things would she get her heart shocked
00:11:40
back into into Rhythm she had an oblation so we used to we got a couple operations on our heart wow yeah I get
00:11:47
murmurs all the time do you ever um get worried about it yeah a lot well have you thought considered an
00:11:53
ablan you know what it is a black Asian yes I should have said have you consider
00:11:59
getting a Tiger Woods that's what they call the surgery yeah yeah yeah no um I thought about
00:12:05
doing something to it but my doctors have always said it's okay yeah I guess they go they it's like a little they go
00:12:11
through all the like veins and stuff on one side of the body with with I don't
00:12:16
know you know they go through your belly button a lot that freaks me out they open up your belly button yeah my wife had surgery they go through your belly
00:12:23
button yeah yuck you know how they say that one day we're going to have chips on our arms will you do that well you
00:12:29
our information our credit cards everything you know what I mean you'll do it for sure yeah how how convenient I
00:12:34
would do it you won't do that why'd you shake your head no that [ __ ] scares me I don't know why it's just like when that
00:12:40
starts conflicting with like mechanical with human stuff like with brain and neuralink you mechanical I'm not saying
00:12:47
I'm going to get my arm replaced it's like a little chip dude you think it's going to lead to neurolink [ __ ] I don't
00:12:53
even like driving cars that like they can turn off with a computer that's why I drive an old Accord oh my God that's
00:12:58
that's why you driv an old Accord that you been broke yeah this guy [ __ ] usint let us
00:13:04
be mean Bridges of Madison County or something you know what I mean that's because you are broke no what I'm saying
00:13:10
is you have your credit card your idea ID and also maybe a way to open up your
00:13:16
front door with your arm oh cool oh I like that too you mean click CLI click click yeah but think about it somebody follows you home they grab you they just
00:13:21
put your arm up to the door they got you can't right right right right right right can't have that yeah okay there was a bump in the night the other night
00:13:27
by the house by the way I got nervous grab my gun in your mansion in my home your ja get a mansion
00:13:34
okay so um my home is not big your house is the same size as my house oh my God I you I love when you try to start fights
00:13:40
with me you just started who started it who [ __ ] started it dude I don't want
00:13:46
to go there you just started it I don't want to go there with you dude but stop doing this stop lying stop you know what
00:13:54
I mean about what gaslighting that's so the irony of this is is staggering you're literally gasing
00:14:00
it's so no you're G you're literally doing it and let me say what you're doing you're gas writing me so gas
00:14:05
writing no more gas writing oh now you're doing Asian accent that's when you're scared that's how I get out of it
00:14:11
when he gets scared he does Asian accent right made in front of your mom you got scared and you did to my mom anent
00:14:17
that's what you that's your [ __ ] that's fine it went viral but my point being is is that you're scared right now and calm I'm not scared calm down Cal
00:14:23
you started it that's an insane you guys go to the house yes they've all been in my home whose house is bigger they're
00:14:29
honestly the same if you add up the driveway and everything oh you going to put my driveway in it I have a long
00:14:34
driveway how is that an equation that's included that's that a living space thank you it could be no it's not so my
00:14:40
point is is this okay let me reiterate and let me re resay it because the first time I went to his house was during his
00:14:46
birthday party right my old house the new one yeah I don't want to Starfy with you but I you're doing it I know but I
00:14:52
walked in and I remember going oh I might have to move that's the first
00:14:58
thought what do you mean because you that's let me I want to be honest with you dude sure all
00:15:04
right I went to your front lawn pretty good nice lawn thanks you have a gate
00:15:09
the whole thing yeah electrical you know gate system right mhm you walked out of these gigantic doors not that your house
00:15:16
is big but you have gigantic doors it's a big door I'm 6'1 right right I mean all doors are big to you right okay you
00:15:23
can make fun of me all you want but I'm just I'm trying to be honest with well I'm also trying to put comedy in the show yeah yeah okay and so then um you
00:15:29
come on in Lang M or whatever you [ __ ] you always say you know what I mean what make something up funny if
00:15:35
you're going to say that make it up and be funny Ling Ling or whatever yeah say come on in Ling Ling I go Ling Ling's here yeah Ling Ling's here but I walk in
00:15:42
and I remember my first thing is I looked around High ceilings do not have high ceilings yeah they're they're tall
00:15:48
very right well they're tall right and then I also like I'm like the living room is so far away from where I
00:15:54
am in the back house I even know where it is it's in the back of the house yeah so it's like you know my sight isn't
00:16:00
that bad right your house you have to go up to the living room you can also not see it thank you you have to walk
00:16:05
upstairs to your living room and your house M's two studio apartments on top of each other yeah you went up there
00:16:12
they have bedrooms thank you m you now I will admit that my house is
00:16:19
I I prefer the design of my house better than yours sure that's why you live there yeah with cat [ __ ] all over the
00:16:25
[ __ ] place it's great okay you can make jokes that that's the show that we're on I I know you can do what you're
00:16:31
doing right now dude and I'm fine with it because I'm just being honest with you I walk in high ceilings I go I don't
00:16:37
know where the living room but it's pretty far away probably half a mile away and I walked in there and then I
00:16:42
went um my thought was I might have to at least get a house comparable to this
00:16:48
because I want to feel like we're at on the same level but I remember having these thoughts and why would I have
00:16:54
these thoughts Carlos do you think you're breaking the tenth commandment it's jealousy exactly dude what is that
00:16:59
it's jealousy thou shall not cover covet that neighbor dude don't CET me I was coveting you dude stop coveting me I'm
00:17:05
going to cover for the rest of my life I don't want you yeah yeah yeah yeah D I'm covet King you're already breaking so many of the so here's what it is you
00:17:12
live in a house bigger than 99.9% of the houses in the in the world can we say that well the world yeah most people
00:17:19
live in [ __ ] Huts exactly so that I'm not being lying not bigger than 99% of the United States yeah no it's not let's
00:17:26
move on so what were we going to say it's not even like what let's move on what are you going to say well if you let me tell the story
00:17:31
that's not it at all let me finish my little Point here cuz there was a gunshot outside okay it could have been in the house and then there was rustling
00:17:37
next door okay like continue and then I got worried all right so start I grabbed start from start start from the
00:17:42
beginning go ahead there was you're in your Mansion go ahead yeah so you're laying you're
00:17:47
laying down well I'm in one of my hyperbaric chambers that I sleep yeah no so I was in my money room
00:17:55
and it I was sleeping I have a money room that I sleep in yeah and uh I was swimming actually I was taking a late
00:18:01
night Scrooge McDuck swim I have gold coins yeah you have a m it's a 30 foot pool of money yeah no I'm sleeping I
00:18:08
hear a gunshot I panic O then there's a text stream between our neighbors did
00:18:13
anybody hear that who heard blah blah blah you know like there's a so then I'm really like on edge so then I grab my
00:18:19
gun and I go downstairs you have a gun in my underwear you have a gun mhm be real yeah what kind I have a clock
00:18:29
yeah okay so bring your block I bring my gun downstairs yeah and I walk outside
00:18:35
that's me that's what I look like from American History X yes and I was
00:18:42
outside scanning around for the noises that I was hearing cuz I was hearing noises then after the shot so I thought
00:18:47
can you can you someone's on the run from the cops in my mind and they're jumping into yards that's my biggest fear as someone tries to like break into
00:18:53
your house this happened last night no no no this is like four nights ago okay so I was with somebody in my house what
00:18:59
same same thing yeah okay and this person that was in my house a young lady you know I mean
00:19:06
obviously yeah she goes is there always a helicopter above your house this is
00:19:13
four day nights ago and and you're saying I'm rich you used to have a helicopter waiting for you at all hours
00:19:18
of the night I don't own it I know I don't own it it just takes me to the com ready to
00:19:24
go takes me to the com no there was literally a helicopter doing a circle in my neighbor with the Spotlight oh that
00:19:29
hate dude Panic so what I'm saying is it could have been the same night that you heard the gunot cuz we live five minutes
00:19:35
away from each other true so this could be connected okay so [ __ ] I didn't hear a helicopter I'm scared it's quiet
00:19:41
outside there's rustling and banging and I'm nervous right and I'm very scared
00:19:47
because I think this is how I die she's fine I'll get killed is your wife sleeping she's wide awake she's scared
00:19:54
cuz we both heard it and then of course I'm out there and
00:20:00
rustling rustling I go peek around the corner oh it's just a raccoon on a garbage can that's it how did he shot he
00:20:08
had a gun a little raccoon with a gun I see yeah yeah yeah and he was just trying to
00:20:14
get food I think you're lying yeah I am yeah yeah yeah I feel like you're lying no no but it did there was a loud rust
00:20:20
it it did Scare the what time was it I'm being real that cuz I remember going what is going on in our neighborhood had
00:20:26
it been not super late but like I mean not early in the morning maybe like 1:00 a.m. it wasn't that it was like I just
00:20:33
had started to fall asleep just after midnight I'm so glad you brought that up because it just brought up another thing
00:20:40
that I have a problem with you about okay today all day today all day today
00:20:45
it kind of made me mad can somebody draw a raccoon with a gun for the show yeah please on a trash can draft King sports
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badri rocket money.com badri yeah I feel like you and I are best friends right
00:23:25
you're my best friend one of my best friends you're my best friend I have a couple you're the only one for me no I
00:23:30
know you have a couple name one Charlie day that's not my best friend he's a buddy you're my best anyway and we share
00:23:38
things yes fluids yeah right um ideas um
00:23:44
also our loves and dislikes that's true okay and um I don't like it when you
00:23:50
hoard things though what did I keep from you I'm going to tell you in a second okay okay I don't like it when you hoard
00:23:56
things and I I draw the line here okay okay don't do that well what is it don't do that with your [ __ ] nose well
00:24:02
that's I get nervous okay so um I was at the comedy store the other night maybe a week ago yeah and Brent Moren goes
00:24:10
there's a great restaurant okay and I go really he goes I think it's you know Rivals like the best why you smiling I
00:24:17
know what it is I know exactly what it is I know I know you know right I know you know okay so he said it's
00:24:22
Blvd on Ventura yeah I had no idea about it right right so in my mind I'm you know I'm on a date we go make
00:24:29
reservations I sit down and um the waiter comes up to me and the manager
00:24:34
mhm and they go finally and I go finally what they go well Andrew comes here
00:24:41
twice a week I stop stop stop this is the [ __ ] truth and I'm telling you
00:24:48
the truth and I don't like it when people laugh at trisms it's insane it's not insane twice said twice a week and
00:24:55
we were wondering when you're going to come in here right and I went yeah like how many that's they go a lot
00:25:03
he comes in a lot no he doesn't I'm GNA tell you why this is true okay in a second okay they go okay wow you never
00:25:10
really ever mentioned it right and then um the food's great it's F it's excellent it's excellent right delicious
00:25:16
and then you I text you the menu picture of the menu and and you go oh yeah that
00:25:23
place is great and I said I'm close yeah and I yeah I'm close and I go there all the time and I said can I over after no
00:25:29
yes I did oh maybe what I'm saying is that you hoarded that restaurant I did not you did and you know what dude I'll
00:25:37
start hoarding pissing me off dude I'll start hoarding friends um restaurants and yogurt shops and coffee shops and
00:25:43
everything right and keep secrets to myself that's [ __ ] up dude that's a great restaurant okay you do it all the
00:25:49
time such you do it all the time such an exagger he does it all the time I've shared more than I've taken away another
00:25:55
one a Mexican restaurant he's done at which one I forgot what called but you're like and and I go to the spot oh
00:26:00
no what it was is Italian restaurant remember the Italian restaurant near our house yes yeah and you go and I we're
00:26:06
sitting there and you go yeah come here I've been coming here for years right and it's like two minutes from my house I go hm never heard of it yeah but that
00:26:13
first of all yeah so it's hoarding thing I share more than I I share more than I hoard hey hey I Bobby is here saying the
00:26:22
manager at Boulevard Blvd says that I go there uh twice a week or I I go there
00:26:28
all the time how many times have we gone there we've been there twice thank you we've only been was it in the same week
00:26:34
same week no no months apart twice that you're aware
00:26:40
of B why why is that not the truth I've I've only been twice thank you so much
00:26:47
thank you thank you that's [ __ ] in your [ __ ] face that's not she's always been on your side no [ __ ] in a in
00:26:54
a in a war she's on your side but first of all yeah yeah twice a week is chaos
00:27:00
what I want to say is I will never I don't hoard from you and I and I and it's not deliberate but I've introduced
00:27:05
you to a lot of spots let's be honest I've taken you to spots and I've gone I think you'd like this and he knows
00:27:11
that's true and you go this is really good thank you for telling me yeah but when you say I've been cutting for years then it kind of hurts me that's fine
00:27:18
that place is brand new but the Italian place was my little spot yes that was and you heard of that I you me that fine
00:27:23
that's fine okay okay so he does you know why can I tell you why because I like to go alone I used to like to go to
00:27:29
that place alone okay so sometimes when I was your quiet time at a fancy Italian restaurant okay yeah I've seen you eat
00:27:36
alone thank you yeah I have no friends oh me [ __ ] either no one will eat
00:27:41
what you're the only guy I know do you what hello hello oh my God you are
00:27:48
doctor friend dude you're Professor friend dude
00:27:54
dude you have so many friends you're the [ __ ] guy of friends dude did I go to the med school for friends yeah let me see you're always I'm on a golfing trip
00:28:01
with all your friends let me tell you I'm alone when I walk in a room oh my God I can't even believe what I when I
00:28:06
walk in a room well you guys don't back me up either you know he has more friends when I walk in a room the theme
00:28:12
song of Friends comes on that's how many friends I have everywhere I go I'll be
00:28:17
there yeah where everybody knows your name your cheers it is Bobby's bum bum
00:28:25
yeah yeah I you have friends that was really good that was really good but but also um Carlos all right um let's be can
00:28:33
we be honest yeah you don't hang out with a lot of people exactly you're just like on date thank you so Professor friend okay it sounds like a you
00:28:41
thing than a me thing and I'm your best friend or one of them apparently you
00:28:47
don't have any [ __ ] friends so I'm not even your best friend you don't even have any friends that's Mor you're almost
00:28:53
there I should be there you're almost there dude who else chain some of your
00:28:59
behaviors what the [ __ ] aing no yeah yeah open your open your heart complete
00:29:05
me one person on Earth name one person on Earth that's not blood to you that cares about cares about you the way I
00:29:10
care about you and is Jean Hong Jean Hong does he check in yeah I could text you right now he I texted me today what
00:29:16
did he say today I I'll show you I'm glad you said that bring bring it up let
00:29:22
me see he's your best friend yeah he goes um we when can we do dinner and catch up
00:29:28
yeah I said this weekend what' he say what's the previous text he goes uh he
00:29:34
goes did you eat yet I'm hungry and dumb already ate I go I'm on OIC and I go I knew it he goes I knew it [ __ ] I'm going
00:29:41
to be the fat one in the group now then Saturday goes dinner didn't respond to that fat one wait wait wait the group oh
00:29:47
this is like the group of the friends that's interesting that's an interesting thing to bring up your honor did you
00:29:53
just interesting interesting interesting the group which which means
00:29:58
dumbfounded okay okay who else is in your little group Ali Wong who else is in your little group Jimmy o yangling
00:30:05
who else is in your group Ronnie Chang but Asians are not considered a yeah wait wait Asians aren't considered a
00:30:12
full complete person we're like clowns you we're like clowns right if like some 80 of Us come out of the car it's like
00:30:18
one person well five to one right one person person so my point is is that you can't count that I think I
00:30:24
and it's also when I do Asian Korean Gatherings right they just have happen to be there that's what friends do yeah
00:30:30
you just happen to show up you know and it's like a ching chong Fest I don't know how what else call call it you know
00:30:36
it's an Asian Fest yeah yeah I I read the I shouldn't have read the text yeah it gave it away yeah you buried yourself
00:30:42
yeah I buried myself in that you buried yourself that's why I'm you know I'd be a bad lawyer I would forget things yeah
00:30:48
oh no you just you would just give them information they should [ __ ] have yeah yeah by the way speaking of lawyers
00:30:54
we let's not go to this yet oh no I know no let's I me no I mean you let's get it
00:30:59
over with no okay you asked me why I was bummed out lately yeah I think that was
00:31:05
the foundation of it so I did see this I sent this to you you
00:31:13
you rubbed it in my face last week no I didn't no I didn't I what I said was you rub it you rubbed it in my I said it's
00:31:19
blasphemy and I said to Carlos smirk I said he's going to be pissed off yeah
00:31:24
Tom Delong is being inducted into the pawe high school hall of of Fame Tom dong of Blink
00:31:31
182 by the way the thing that I was upset about was there was another woman that was inducted who I don't think is
00:31:37
famous none of them are well Tom Delong he's the only he's the first guy that's
00:31:42
famous that is actually in the Hall of Fame before it's like scientists and
00:31:48
there was one guy an actor who was like he started a community theater in North Park you mean for gay men it's like okay
00:31:56
he's in well maybe you need do something like that important work something for the community oh you think I'm not doing
00:32:02
an important work for for them yeah but I I can't I don't know what they want
00:32:09
and and and when I went to school there I didn't know what they wanted you I didn't feel a part of I felt
00:32:16
ostracized not by the school Itself by the people that inhabited it well just the whole I mean you have to understand
00:32:21
po high school was that controversy where that kid wore that anti-gay t-shirt and he went to court for it I
00:32:27
don't remember yeah look it up so Powe High some kid wore I I hate gays or something like that oh it was like it
00:32:33
was like a derogatory T-shirt with you know I mean that expressed his point of view about gay is not okay is that what
00:32:41
he wore I don't know but what what I want to say is what I've done for the school okay it was I was on two sporting
00:32:48
teams yeah wrestling and uh tennis oh right what I forgot yeah yeah um I was a
00:32:55
pure counselor you were yeah wow um I
00:33:01
don't know why you're smirking guy so I I thought you said it was a pair counselor at first and I thought yeah
00:33:06
like the fruit mhm I didn't know they did counselors by [Music] [Laughter]
00:33:14
shape a good one all right good one you were a peer counselor you were on two sports two sports everybody liked you
00:33:21
you were a musician did you play at the school no I wasn't a musician then but I was also in a play and also fourthly
00:33:27
though I was was um I got sober my junior year right so my senior year I was like you know I participated and you
00:33:34
know what I mean 12ep kind of things and spread a positive message you know me at school
00:33:40
you know I think what they're um they're basing on is my nudity and my what does that have to do
00:33:47
with anything that's what I'm that I mean that's my point of view no I think they're basing it on I think they're basing it on the fact that you are um
00:33:55
free creative wild unhinged and these people on that list are probably bridled
00:34:03
protected safe you're free you're an artist yeah they don't have any wild artists on there like did you remember
00:34:10
like um they had um a counselor for like I was it called it was like a
00:34:15
occupational counselor or something where you know that you would see somebody like you know I mean a staff
00:34:21
member of the school and they would direct your life yeah occupational therapist or whatever they yeah had that
00:34:28
where it was like and I remember going in they're like all right well um they looked at my grades and they go wood
00:34:33
shop and I go I was a junior I was like wood shop I mean that's CU you're
00:34:39
failing in all these things and you have no asset or ability right and I'm like
00:34:44
you know I I if I could go back now I would go yeah but I'm funny is that is there a path for that right but that to
00:34:51
that school that kind of is not even a they wouldn't never promote that or give
00:34:57
you an opt option wasn't an artistic school didn't have like yeah it's like it's either you become an engineer a
00:35:03
lawyer doctor whatever whatever right you know a businessman or you're working
00:35:08
with wood right you mean caring [ __ ] I don't know what you know what I mean you know me you're a weld or or whatever you
00:35:14
know I've also never never in my life seen an Asian Carpenter yeah you wouldn't last a
00:35:20
day I've never seen an Asian look Google are there Asian Carpenters I cannot was Jesus Asian
00:35:28
I don't think there's ever been an Asian Carpenter yes there are Asian Carpenter there buildings who built the buildings
00:35:34
in Asia the buildings in Asia we send white people over there no afans not
00:35:39
Africans there's a guy's Instagram called the Asian Carpenter exactly well let me see some of his work let's see some of his work dude look at that table
00:35:46
okay dude that's a standard very good table he built just the legs it says he didn't even build the top all right [ __ ]
00:35:52
this guy anyway that's nice doesn't look any carpentry to me oh staircasing that's the ceiling
00:36:01
oh uh oh anyway um anyway but what I mean it's just so I remember at school
00:36:08
when I was in high school I was like I remember going oh I'm [ __ ] yeah I I
00:36:14
felt the exact same CU like you have they they told you to your face there is no future for you yeah and this is where
00:36:22
you we suggest you go and I'm like I can't believe there's no way so I had to
00:36:27
go out in the world and you know feel some pain yeah and then it drove me into
00:36:32
whatever I'm doing now but um look at what you look at you now I think that in many ways pyro pway High School drove me
00:36:39
into this because it's like they were they didn't support me right and so um
00:36:45
that made you stronger so now you know what with that point of view I don't want to be in the Hall of Fame good but
00:36:51
you do I don't you do a little bit I do yeah I sure do but you know what
00:36:57
but if it doesn't happen I understand it should happen and I don't understand and I will say this I'm going down to San
00:37:03
Diego to do shows down there I'm thinking about stopping by no when are you going paying a little when are you going visit when are you going I think
00:37:09
it's in February I don't know I have to I have to go with you yeah you do I think I'm going to pay a little [ __ ]
00:37:14
visit to I think it's the move in fact you know what I would love to do you Doug Stan hope used to do shows at
00:37:22
Montreal across the street from like the corporate venues or whatever I think it was Montreal yeah you you heard about I
00:37:28
remember that yeah we should do a show across the street a popup show across the street from powerway high where is
00:37:33
pway look up powerway and what's across the street is it like a field or something I think there's a theater attached to power High School I don't
00:37:39
know if you can rent that out it's got to be theirs though oh that's right that's on them yeah listen up if there's anybody yeah the per Performing Art
00:37:45
Center look at has nothing to do with the high school I think yeah that P center for the I think I don't I think
00:37:51
it's attached to the school but I think that it's private like we can rent it maybe we should do our 250 episodes from
00:38:00
there just getting sick of his [ __ ] I I know just getting real sick of his [ __ ] let's let go of this I mean are you in
00:38:07
yours Hall of Fame at your school there is no we don't have a Hall of Fame but I'm in like the Wikipedia page yeah me
00:38:12
too I'm in the Wikipedia yeah no we don't we don't have a Hall of Fame yeah yeah you don't have one no it's actually very weird I've never heard why you
00:38:18
start one up well I've never heard of this until your school do you guys know about you're Hall of Fame having Andreas I'm clearly not asking you you didn't go
00:38:24
to high school yeah yeah I mean well you're Carlos your school doesn't have a hall of Fame no my dad's in the Hall of Fame at the military school I went to
00:38:30
that's not what we asked that's not what we asked I was just proud yeah it has nothing to do with you anyway um how about you Mone I don't I don't know can
00:38:37
I tell you what I I think it is what and you're going to be so mad yeah it's just too far away from
00:38:42
Fame what do you mean I'm too far away from no what I'm saying is is that like you know obviously when you go out into
00:38:48
the you know it's just less famous people come from smaller towns like for
00:38:54
instance I don't if you go to like Beverly Hills High right right many famous people came from there a lot
00:38:59
because a l cuz the businesses just are enveloped around them right there access and you know through nepotism and
00:39:06
whatnot yes yes yes and it's in the city it's in the city right so I'm sure if you saw the Beverly Hills High School
00:39:12
Hall of Fame there's a it's stacked but then if you go to like you know um Pura
00:39:17
Illinois some school there's Hall of Fame there's play Nobody famous that came from there I mean so why would they
00:39:23
have a Hall of Fame well we have we have a not so I I know what you're saying although yours isn't impressive either
00:39:29
let's be honest it's not like you're saying a million very cool famous people can Tony
00:39:34
Gwyn can't went to my school baseball player um Stephanie Seymour supermodel who had a baby with Axel Rose not a real
00:39:41
thing nobody cares okay nobody cares not a real thing nobody cares I care yeah but that's a [ __ ] don't make a real
00:39:47
Fame tomong one guy yeah that's the guy no you're not there you're not even on it so no that's wrong it's not you all
00:39:55
these other people are nobody's you're wrong okay Tony Gwyn that was the only one and by the way these guys don't even
00:40:00
know who Tony Gwyn is only I do because I like baseball well they mean one from your school Andrew I know that's it no
00:40:05
there's no there is actually a lot a lot of pro athletes oh that's good a lot of athletes okay good oh Bob did you see
00:40:10
you're at a sperm bank as an option for people don't want their babies to look like you what seriously yeah you're
00:40:17
under uh Bill Paxton young wow Benedict Wong Bill Paxton and Bobby Lee who did
00:40:23
the check mark you did Carlos yeah yeah smart Morgan
00:40:31
and ow what happened ow I got into an accident oh yeah I just hit you sorry I don't know who to call who to turn to me
00:40:38
who are you Morgan and Morgan oh Morgan and Morgan That's you wow you're America's largest injury law fir I've
00:40:44
heard about you you have over 100 officers Nationwide and more than a thousand lawers right that's right W that's you yeah with over $20 billion do
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recovered for over 500,000 clients man Morgan and Morgan which is me has a proven track record are fighting to get
00:40:56
you full and fair compensation duh that's incredible because I've heard submitting an injury claim with Morgan and Morgan is so easy there's a lot of
00:41:02
hard things in life like putting up with Carlos on this show for you is hard committing an injury claim with Morgan and Morgan easy yeah and um trying to
00:41:10
convince myself that um andreas' breasts are manly is hard that is very hard but submitting an injury claim with Morgan
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safety information and we thank blue for sponsoring the podcast okay so how about
00:43:11
this from now on WE let's not talk about Powe High School Hall of Fame ever again I don't need to I just want because last
00:43:17
week it kind of bum me out but now I'm kind of going through the process of letting it go and I'm going to let it go it's an injustice is all I'm going to
00:43:22
say I mean I truly believe it is though I really do I'm not I'm not being phous can I can I just try
00:43:28
to just verbally say why I think it is your case State your case you think I
00:43:33
should State my case without bragging yeah I mean that'll be hard to do but go ahead okay so um I have two I have one
00:43:42
very popular podcast yeah with you yeah um I have one that's fairly popular P
00:43:49
belly okay so then um I also was on a sketch show a cultural iconic sketch
00:43:55
show on television for 8 years say a culturally iconic a culturally iconic sketch show for eight years correct um
00:44:02
I've done a num numerous bit parts and comedy movies and television shows and
00:44:07
I've done I've been a series regular on a couple of TV shows one of the most famous of a remake of a TV show as
00:44:14
well which one's that oh yeah Sex in the City that's a reoccurring yeah reservation I mean I've just done a lot
00:44:20
of Y yeah magn Pi same I know it is um I've done I've done a lot you got yelled at
00:44:27
by Adam Sandler yeah I got yelled up by Adam Sandler i how many people have been yelled at at Adam Sandler on that list I also have done the Tonight Show as a
00:44:33
standup and now I'm coming out with a uh special on a major streaming I mean I've
00:44:39
done a lot a lot you know what I mean and a lot and if if that if that doesn't do it what does I don't know what else
00:44:46
does yeah I don't know and so then it's personal they just don't like me and what I stand for and that's okay that is
00:44:53
okay who's on that's okay who's on the board can we find out who's on I don't want I don't want to know they don't like me I'm going to call them and it's
00:45:00
because I go and all that stuff you know what I mean and that's just who I am you
00:45:06
know don't show us any more sperm banks is that where you're going to pop up yeah no more sperm banks no more sper Bank you can bring up some other
00:45:11
[ __ ] if you had it I saw you diging because it it's embarrassing to fight for that what what I just did there was
00:45:16
embarrassing no it's not embarrassing yeah you deserve you deserve to be recognized what do you got what is that
00:45:22
what is this what do you got what yeah I just found this gay Chinese guy I thought you'd like him H oh okay is to
00:45:28
say gay in [Music]
00:45:35
Chinese what's his name Luke if that was my
00:45:42
brother my dad oh my God how awesome his name is Luke Luke Luke Chinese Luke come
00:45:47
here and you would never see Luke Again Luke Chinese yeah his name is just Luke Chinese he's the best that's a three
00:45:53
ways to say gay and Chinese yeah now can I I don't want to be racist against my own ethnicity it's not really why it's
00:46:02
near you okay he's Chinese no but that I didn't say nationality I said ethnicity
00:46:08
yeah yeah but but I he's an Asian isn't the ethnicity kind of he's Chinese
00:46:13
they're oh so they're Uber Asians they're the most Asian oh they are okay they're the most Asian my my bad my bad
00:46:20
okay so he's full-blown Asian he's 100% Asian yeah yeah and I'm just mid drip
00:46:25
yeah you're yeah yeah yeah you're the left adjacent yeah you're right next to yeah and without being controversial
00:46:32
right does he have a big
00:46:38
head I okay let me okay I'm a cop that guy robbed you yeah right and and and
00:46:45
you got to so um what was what did the guy look like when when the person that robbed you did you get a good look at
00:46:50
him yeah he was a Chinese guy Chinese a shaved head yeah or not a shaved head but Buzz hair a Buzz haircut so I'm
00:46:56
going to get my right come here Frank Frank Frank comes okay so I haven't really cuz Buzz head but like shape of
00:47:02
the face shape of the face yeah just the overall shape of it
00:47:10
like like it was overall yeah it was what do you mean well you said the overall shape it was an overall shape oh
00:47:16
so that's thatan sorry oval all shape oval shap yeah it was all it's oval so is it
00:47:22
more wider or is it top to bottom I mean can you it's kind of both oh so just a
00:47:28
gigantic like a moon kind of like a moon all right let do a moon like a moon okay
00:47:34
so and his body his body yeah yeah his body his body I
00:47:40
remember it yeah yeah what's his body like uh thick oh so wellfed right
00:47:46
wellfed not hungry so Mars yes yeah it was kind of the Moon in
00:47:52
with Mars yes and then Moon correct all right put that out I think they they got
00:47:58
him they got him right away it's interesting yeah Chinese Luke we love you I just want to let you know we love you a lot of followers yeah Luke Chinese
00:48:05
he's killing it 141 he educates people on how to say things in Chinese Carlos just goes for how to say gay in Chinese
00:48:12
in case you go to China is that what that's for yeah we run into some Chinese people in Singapore interesting and we just might
00:48:20
and you got to be you know you know when we go to Singapore you better be on your best behavior they will lock you up for
00:48:25
[ __ ] around over there you know this right yeah this is not not a j I'm not making a joke but what [ __ ] around would
00:48:31
get me in trouble I don't know you know even asking hey you guys have any holes against walls yeah where the holes at
00:48:37
illegal asking for holes 100% yeah yeah if you spit gum on the ground they beat the [ __ ] out of you well I already
00:48:43
looked up the look look up crazy laws in Singapore it's nuts they're going to get you bud chewing gum is not illegal
00:48:50
selling it is the penalty for selling gum is up to $100,000 so we can't can we try to
00:48:57
can we try to smuggle some gum across the yeah that's why we're bring him a cone all right second one is bad for you
00:49:03
so here's here's the thing smoking is illegal everywhere and ecigarettes are banned you got to bring up you got to bring a a 12pack of Bubble Yum yeah
00:49:11
Bubblicious Bubblicious if I don't see that in Singapore dude we're going to have a problem so write that down Carlos
00:49:17
yeah write it down so public smoking I smoke so smoking is SM is illegal in most places ecigarettes are banned if caught smok in public you could face up
00:49:23
to $800 fine oh [ __ ] it I have $800 connect to someone else's Wi-Fi oh my
00:49:29
God I do that all the time all the time waa wait that's punishable three three years $110,000 F oh my God all right so
00:49:37
j walking $1,000 I'm A J Walker be j walking I'm JJ walk yeah dude I jwalk
00:49:43
all the time not flushing a public toilet leaving pooper piss in a Ural can result in $150 that's it I'm not
00:49:49
going I there can't can't go this one's going to hurt you walking naked at home there's a penalty for walking around
00:49:55
naked at your own home home insane feeding pigeons this one's
00:50:01
from aone that's a criminal offense buddy yeah $500 fine that's on you dude don't get any ideas so what's it singing
00:50:07
in public oh [ __ ] singing or reciting so jet ski is going to be in deep [ __ ] yeah
00:50:12
illegal this is this is what we want to we want to test some of these rules yeah I do so here's what I'm going to do okay
00:50:17
I want to get a whole pack of Bubble Yum stick it in my mouth and naked chew on two cigarettes dangle out of my mouth
00:50:24
right and I'm going to be half naked in the streets and I'm going to go it's
00:50:29
a hard knock life for us it's a hard knock life for and I'm going to just see
00:50:35
how long it's going to take oh my God you think quick yeah so fast yeah wait a
00:50:41
minute being homosexual punishment is up to two years in jail oh Carlos you can't
00:50:46
go no we'll just go for one each all right that's insane drinking alcohol
00:50:52
between 10 p.m. 10:30 p.m. and 7:00 a.m. what does I say
00:50:58
what doesn't say I don't see that oh yeah there it is alol holy [ __ ] oh no we can't fly a kite that interferes with
00:51:03
public traffic oh no what we do with all that [ __ ] kites we at kites that
00:51:09
sucks we were going to bring all those K so what's busking is singing for money on the street busking you know when
00:51:16
you're like singing with a hat I was going to bring my acoustic guitar how are we dude we should be busking we should BS over can you imagine they
00:51:21
[ __ ] a rescue for bus G that's insane firecrackers pirated content are Bann
00:51:27
pornographic stuff I mean we're not going to bring any magazines I guess okay oh wait wait I bet you money they
00:51:33
block porn sides there you VPN got to get a VPN on your phone I have a VPN
00:51:38
yeah then you can watch whatever you want that's what I do yeah they block porn 100 CU I've always wanted to like
00:51:44
cuz I've never really been to a you know a um a strip club at a Asian country me
00:51:49
neither oh they have them there do they have strip clubs in in in Singapore Singapore yeah what's it called uh 10
00:51:55
men's club that might be a one you don't want to go to well cuz it's 10 men you
00:52:01
heal what if what if I know those men wait what's oh [ __ ] John the emperor
00:52:08
we're it's a we're a bit rundown the women are beautiful which makes for good eye candy well they're honest okay so
00:52:14
they they do have it out there I guess but it doesn't really look like is porno is is Carlos we got to go hell yeah hell
00:52:20
yeah is porn illegal in Singapore I feel like it yes
00:52:25
do we want to go I don't know I mean they all right
00:52:31
Google if they have any Michelin star restaurants I mean that's an incentive yeah I bet who what's the best like top
00:52:38
three restaurants CU I love food oh there you go Michelin guy to Singapore yeah oh we so all right they've got a
00:52:45
lot oh here's the deal dude we will go to all these no no I I need someone from
00:52:51
our team to make reservations before I I'm being real I'm writing this down yeah you I at least four of them I also
00:52:58
have a list of places that we can go cuz my friend my friends that have gone have told us there's spots that are great yeah scary times USA it could also work
00:53:05
as a promo yeah yeah we had a great I had a great time in I think it was better than the last one we did yeah it was great um I think that if all of them
00:53:11
went like that um I'd be encouraged to do more I had so much fun on it you know what it was is that we didn't rehearse
00:53:18
that much you know you guys kept it Loose we had good bits lined up yeah I mean we kind of knew the directions but
00:53:25
it's like in terms of order and so I think they were mixed up a little bit but I was fine with it I thought um I
00:53:31
just thought the guest was great I I it was surprising to see the angry grandmother yeah she was great what a sweet lady you know they drove here from
00:53:38
Michigan I just love her and a grandson so much and then um so funny yeah and
00:53:43
then uh Dax flame came by love Dax goop the goopopolis came the golis
00:53:48
came and um I thought that we had a drag queen book reading yeah cuz I wanted to get educated I thought Jewels was fun I
00:53:56
that was the whole thing was uh very positive and um we should do it again I
00:54:01
would love to do it again I had a great time I like doing stuff like that yeah that's it's different than this because it's like it's looser it's wild it's
00:54:08
wild and the interaction with the fans I do love when we get to talk to the fans bringing them up on the screen seeing them in their home you know I mean we
00:54:15
could dedicate for a second to talk about our fans for a second CU I don't think we do that enough give it to me yeah it's the thing that
00:54:22
uh keeps me going I think oh that's beautiful and sad at the same time no it
00:54:27
is sad it's more sad than beautiful um it's the thing that makes me kind of want to get up and put one
00:54:34
foot in front of the other and move forward that um we have people and I
00:54:40
we've met them in the streets yeah and um it just it's a real surprise and a
00:54:47
real blessing and I I've just been what why'd you shake your head cuz
00:54:54
I don't believe it
00:55:02
[Music] I would like to address something in the room no I would I would I'd really like to
00:55:08
address something in the room and I know I know we've said it as a joke you know I mean about firing oh my
00:55:15
God and changing the team up yeah we have and you know we do it in just you
00:55:20
know I really mean this I think we should change it up okay because right
00:55:26
there right there was [ __ ] out of pocket out of pocket it was unaligned with my morals and system
00:55:33
blatant disrespect plant disrespect and uh cringeworthy if I'll be honest you
00:55:38
know so you know I've noticed lately you talk to me in a certain way as if we're Bros that's so not true Bob as if we're
00:55:45
um both captains of the same ship no and on this ship dude you're scooping [ __ ]
00:55:51
down below I'm the captain no that's projection that's how you would act even that respond right there is what I'm talking
00:55:57
even just that respon right there I don't curse at you that's that response too everything you're saying right now dude is what I'm talking about this how
00:56:03
I grew up okay I'm having Flash no you never you never used to be like this and so for me to get vulnerable to talk
00:56:09
about the fans and for you to call me out on something that wasn't even a thing right is really hurtful it is and
00:56:16
um do I have time to apologize no no no there's no time no you did it the damage has done so I'm going to highly consider
00:56:22
um maybe coming up with other options I'm okay with that yeah yeah let's talk about the all of the group
00:56:29
okay might as well Mone yeah you've been a lot better with me impressed you're not you're not needy you know what I
00:56:36
mean and um I think you've softened a little bit I think you know how to read me in the situation and I um I think
00:56:43
that you're good for right now you're okay yeah
00:56:49
fancy um I will never do your zombie movie
00:56:56
I will never do it you know I in fact I will do nothing yeah outside of this with you yeah you know yeah I think that
00:57:03
you attack me way more than you attack Andrew that's true you know what I mean yeah that's undeniable about how fat I
00:57:09
am gay what what yeah you agree yeah but you know
00:57:16
what yeah you're you're Honestly though oh yeah yeah you speak your mind you are
00:57:22
skating on thin ice there's no ice there's no I there's noce all right well you're on a lake yeah you're you have
00:57:28
skates on and you're in the water why what did I do that's so bad besides he's
00:57:33
the last couple of times he said to me that you're frustrating him for some reason and I think it's
00:57:39
because look you run the Instagram account for bad friends right yeah you do a great job thank you I think a
00:57:46
little bit of that follower number is going to your head a little bit I mean we see yeah see it's going to his head
00:57:55
are you using it to DM people no I do that on my own account but I mean do you
00:58:01
ever like transfer the girl over to Carlos uhhuh obviously okay so it's it's
00:58:07
power he's got power now you know I also a good amount of power yeah I also want to say this um and this is from my heart
00:58:14
yeah and managing the Australian tour and you're doing a great job great job I didn't say you you doing a good job I'm
00:58:20
saying your relationship with me yeah he's talking about and how I feel in the workplace okay okay uh and for many
00:58:26
years I thought that you work for us and we happen to be at seven AIS right but
00:58:34
the truth is you work for seven Eis and you're a spy that's insane yeah you're you're a
00:58:41
spy because I see you over there right and you know the woodwork very comfortable there very comfortable and
00:58:48
that's you know I understand now that you're not really on our ship you're a Hired Gun but I should know that place
00:58:55
because I go to work there I should know my way around this does sound like some spy [ __ ] though it's spy [ __ ] dude no
00:59:02
I'm a double agent that's what we're saying yeah that's the [ __ ] he's saying no that's not a good thing you're
00:59:08
working both sides so what's the real end game for you just hanging with my Bros I just want that's that is it
00:59:16
that's not it that's not that's not it yeah what's the real end game what's the end game here dude our demise I have had
00:59:23
this fantasy here we go this is the truth it yeah finally I love it no it has nothing to do with Andrew oh
00:59:30
no what is it that I come in with some really good news like guys I finally did
00:59:35
it I I have another job I I thought you'd be like so proud of me I didn't need your help to get there I'm I'm
00:59:42
gonna go spread my wings and I'm gonna say like [ __ ] you Bobby wow because
00:59:49
you're GNA make fun of me in that moment and I'm going to be prepared so you daydream about telling Bobby to go [ __ ]
00:59:54
himself that's like a moment no it's a night dream sometimes oh you this is like an an immersive dream where you
01:00:02
feel it you feel paralysis I can't even get out of it but you feel it you're saying [ __ ] you to him and it feels good
01:00:07
in your dream yeah wow you didn't say hi to me or undress for five minutes at Andrew's
01:00:14
party and then you made fun of us for having a conversation alone I should be allowed
01:00:20
to talk to fancy okay I understand you don't understand this about something
01:00:26
else I understand now I know I understand it it just a came to me like you know you saw it I saw it all wow
01:00:33
like the first time I saw you know what I mean you remember they live yeah right
01:00:39
right yeah I put the glasses on and then it I know what it is it's clear I see the riding in the wall you know what I
01:00:44
mean I see the world I see the Matrix and it's again stacked up against me and
01:00:50
I have to like I have to survive you do you have to fight back I do have to survive because you can't just sit there
01:00:56
I can't sit there and let them take over right yeah and uh I think I'm generous the guy cleaning the boat can like
01:01:02
sharpen his knife at night and dream about murdering the captain
01:01:07
wow oh my it's a common F wow wow this
01:01:13
is how you feel yeah yeah double I love it this is the real stuff this is it I
01:01:18
love it this is the real stuff No what's no no that's [ __ ] so tell
01:01:23
everyone in comedy you've always been my homie you and Andrew I've always trusted you yeah but what but what but sometimes
01:01:30
you have bully tactics I don't have bully tactics oh that's not talking to me and fancy when you walk in you only talk to the famous people party bus I
01:01:37
was busy talking to the famous people thank you sorry yeah yeah I walk
01:01:43
in oh there's f f oh let go to the guys I see every day I mean what are you talking about but that's his job to go
01:01:49
talk to other people exactly it's work he's a personality you know and you should know that you're right you know
01:01:54
what I mean you're [ __ ] right you know all that time that you were hitting on kilo when I was dating her that is insane what you know what I mean you
01:02:01
don't think I know about that either dude so you know mean you want to go you want to go or you want to go whoa who
01:02:07
who all right have you had an issue recently with somebody yeah okay yeah
01:02:13
that's why I can feel this yeah something's going on something's going on with him yeah because you know when he something's going on he attacks M and
01:02:20
he's attacking me you know you're listen guy you know here's the truth guy right I love you too that's I said what he
01:02:27
said here's the truth I know he was about to say I love you no no no you know I've always had a sense that
01:02:34
you know I liked you more than you liked me that's s so um I felt that yeah me too and um I'm willing to I'm willing
01:02:43
to fight your hate with my love thank you that is interesting yeah pretty
01:02:48
interesting huh and can I tell you something about that tell me about it when you said fight hate with love yeah you know who did that oh yeah Jesus
01:02:56
that's right and what did your counselor in high school tell you to be a carpenter so it is right here exactly D
01:03:03
you are a carpenter and you're a carpenter of the Soul so what you're doing is You're Building cabinets you're
01:03:09
well a love Castle is what I was going to say okay yeah you're building a love castle and others things of course
01:03:14
gazebos and whatnot sure they have to be built on the outside but build the love castle Yeah and go ahead throw in a
01:03:21
joke go ahead throw a let you have it and go say it I have it over I'm
01:03:28
building like little gazebos little gazebos yeah you have to build those as well cabin and it stairs from the
01:03:36
[Laughter] ceiling it wasn't even funny wasn't even
01:03:43
a good joke it wasn't even funny we waited for a [ __ ] bomb we waited all that time we waited for a [ __ ] bomb
01:03:50
and stairs on the dude why did you laugh so hard at that cuz he knew how bad oh my gu was pretty bad oh my God they look
01:03:57
like [ __ ] stairs dude hey Bobby's building a love Castle cabinets and
01:04:02
gazebos and and if Carlos is going to come at you throwing Fireballs of hate
01:04:07
flame yeah guess what I have a love Shield you have a love shield and you did a benefit for firefighter so they
01:04:14
will be there if you need them to put out this negative fire exactly that's really what I feel yeah and this podcast
01:04:21
has been about grievances no grievances a lot of grievances I've got another one I'd like to [ __ ] air I would love to
01:04:26
hear your grievances this is what the show's about air out a little grievance here mind Mone yeah exactly got a little
01:04:32
something something you hey okay step up to the mic preach preach my
01:04:39
friend you're not even going to believe this you know what maybe you are I will believe it okay good right
01:04:45
because he can do anything mhm right he's diabolical he is all right so endless tell it to me friend okay this
01:04:53
guy he's going to Detroit with me this weekend Detroit in Grand Rapids I said you know I'm going to get you out there so you can film and stuff like that sure
01:04:58
why not what's my budget for cameras that's what he says what's my budget for cameras my budget for cameras I'm sorry
01:05:06
he's not Aaron sorin no he thinks he is I'm trying to expand you what's my budget timeout this is even better one I
01:05:12
said well let's get you the flights let's look at the flights very expensive flights weren't they they were very
01:05:18
expensive I call we take care of it it's fine let's get the flights text hey I'll show you
01:05:26
hey wait wait wait hold on if he says honestly dude if he mentions anything
01:05:33
about business class oh yeah I'm going to lose my [ __ ] mind I'm being real I
01:05:39
will lose my [ __ ] mind Comfort Plus or better so then what did he say can I get Comfort Plus or better just I'll
01:05:44
[ __ ] show you comfort plus go get go [ __ ] him up go [ __ ] this guy up he thinks he needs room for all his camera
01:05:50
equipment I said you're not going to put that under the seat I'm tall and I have to put under the seat business class no
01:05:56
WestJet no spir yeah spirit in the air you know what dude cancel it all right
01:06:02
yeah [ __ ] it that's a good call it's in you know what it's like you give them an inch they take a mile all of it they
01:06:09
take all of it first of all yeah yeah yeah yeah you've heard that phrase before right that's what you are giving people an
01:06:15
inch
01:06:23
what [ __ ] [ __ ] d D so [ __ ] dude so good what a [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] holy
01:06:30
[ __ ] I've never why are you laughing I'm not yeah that was insane step back from the mic yeah yeah step back from the
01:06:36
Jesus Christ what'd he say talk about giving people an inch yeah really good
01:06:42
that's pretty good now take notes Spaniard yeah yeah that's the kind of [ __ ] we like over yeah that was a good
01:06:48
one that's going to get him back in the running not in with me no no but still as a whole not with me but um we we took
01:06:55
a couple back okay you know me but um wow wow all
01:07:01
right Carlos clear the air finally just say what you need to say yeah go ahead because I know you got I know you want to just say it so just say what you want
01:07:06
to say I'm sorry Bob no that's not what it is that's not what
01:07:13
it is what are you sorry about I'm sorry that I had those uh dark
01:07:19
feelings about wanting to murder you and I thought that in our final moment of me
01:07:25
coming here want to spread my wings that you be proud yeah yeah that's not what I was mad about you brought that you
01:07:31
brought that up with unsolicited yeah mean I didn't even need to know that you know what I mean you made it worse by
01:07:37
bringing that up way worse yeah what I'm saying is is that I was giving a a heartfelt message to the fans you
01:07:43
thought I was lying right yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah so it's like now I know way more information and now I feel even
01:07:50
more Angry yeah you know what I mean it's like why would you have these fantasies I've never had Dreadful
01:07:56
fantasy about you you mean I I I've had fantasies of like saving you when you were drowning or something really oh
01:08:03
yeah emotionally he didn't emotionally yeah yeah yeah yeah but my point is is that I've only thought posit I've only
01:08:09
said positive things about you in the world right for you to even have Ked at me so many times as a dude that's my
01:08:15
role as a [ __ ] boss I'm sensitive sometimes no you're not I am I got we got in a fight in Atlanta and my you
01:08:22
hurt my feelings what was the fight about it was like a microphone not working in a previous show or something
01:08:27
exactly and should have worked you're right exactly no I like sustain pedals
01:08:32
never work at venues never once not one time I in front of thousands of people
01:08:38
and oh [ __ ] the sustain is not working I should you know it's like there's so many things that I could uh right but I
01:08:44
don't you know get your [ __ ] together man yeah it's getting together it's
01:08:50
together it's been together we're gonna go to Australia you're can e it your [ __ ] Michelin restaurants you're
01:08:55
gonna see wow no that's just me being passionate wow wow
01:09:01
wow I know I know I know I know I get I I can't believe it it didn't sound like
01:09:06
passion dude it didn't sound like passion it sounded like deep resentment yeah passionate do passionate fancy give
01:09:12
me passionate I love working with you Bobby and we're going to make an awesome zombie movie together oh no no
01:09:19
delusional you know what bud you know I'm going to do the movie again okay I'll do your zombie movie don't do that
01:09:24
I know yeah I'll do it but he will yeah that's passion yeah and
01:09:30
Mone I have a small penis no you don't that's what I don't
01:09:35
but it's like that's what you told the world but it's not and thank you so much for doing that man like I I don't have enough problems the world knows it it
01:09:43
works no the world know it's good okay just stop stop godam I have a very good
01:09:49
penis and then uh we'll see thank you for being a bad friend that's
01:09:56
[Music]
01:10:06
great
01:10:11
wo wo [Music]
