00:00:00
You two are bad friends.
00:00:01
>> Who are these two idiots?
00:00:03
>> A white dude and an Asian dude. You two
00:00:07
are disgusting.
00:00:08
>> Well, you two are something.
00:00:10
>> We're bad friends.
00:00:12
>> Oh, this is spring water.
00:00:13
>> Yeah,
00:00:14
>> it's beautiful spring water. What's
00:00:16
What's the difference between regular
00:00:17
water and spring water?
00:00:18
>> Plastic. That's the difference.
00:00:20
>> Oh, I'm sorry. Is this a season thing?
00:00:21
You've never had winter water?
00:00:24
>> You've never had some winter water?
00:00:25
>> No.
00:00:26
>> Well, it's a winter wonderland now.
00:00:28
>> Fall water. any of the seasons. Spring
00:00:30
is the only season I drink.
00:00:31
>> Which which season do you like the most
00:00:33
water-wise?
00:00:34
>> Summer.
00:00:35
>> Summer water.
00:00:36
>> What's summer water?
00:00:37
>> Summer water. Having some fun.
00:00:41
>> Yeah.
00:00:42
>> Summer loving is on the rise. I'm
00:00:43
telling you, dude. You're getting so
00:00:44
tuned up for this summer. Your body's
00:00:46
going to be good. Your brain's going to
00:00:47
be good.
00:00:47
>> I don't know.
00:00:48
>> I think you're going to get some summer
00:00:49
love this summer.
00:00:51
>> Or I'll get a disease.
00:00:53
>> Which one?
00:00:54
>> The shaky one.
00:00:55
>> Parkinson's.
00:00:56
>> No.
00:00:58
No, no,
00:00:58
>> that's not the shaky one.
00:01:00
>> No, there's other shaky ones.
00:01:01
>> What's the other shaky one?
00:01:02
>> Um, there isn't anymore.
00:01:04
>> Parkinson is the only one.
00:01:05
>> I feel like that's the main shaky one.
00:01:07
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:01:08
>> Shaking tremors.
00:01:10
>> Give us pull up shaky diseases.
00:01:12
>> They're right here.
00:01:13
>> Multiple sclerosis. Multiple sclerosis.
00:01:15
Man, say that five times. They can't.
00:01:17
>> You know what I want to do? I want to
00:01:18
get a shaky disease and then have a time
00:01:20
machine go down to the 70s and go do
00:01:21
soul train.
00:01:23
>> Yeah,
00:01:25
dude. I'll do soul train. I I've always
00:01:28
wanted to do the line with a shaky
00:01:29
disease. You know,
00:01:38
>> some people will get hit a time machine
00:01:39
and they'll get, you know, I mean, I
00:01:41
want to go see, you know what I mean?
00:01:42
Meet George Washington. Not me, dude.
00:01:44
Shaky Shaky Soul Train.
00:01:46
>> Shaky Soul Train.
00:01:47
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:01:48
>> That's you, Bob.
00:01:49
>> No, that's not what I was saying. I I
00:01:51
love him.
00:01:51
>> Michael J. Fox.
00:01:52
>> I'm a big fan of him.
00:01:52
>> He's the man.
00:01:53
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. His his uh Instagram
00:01:56
handle is Shaky Soul Train, oddly
00:01:57
enough.
00:02:07
>> He's the man. He jokes about it all the
00:02:09
time, which is so You have to
00:02:11
>> Yeah.
00:02:12
>> Other way.
00:02:12
>> At some point you got It sucks. It
00:02:14
sucks. It sucks. It sucks. And then you
00:02:15
got to joke about it. Do
00:02:16
>> you think Christopher Reeves was um
00:02:18
resentment resentful toward horses?
00:02:21
>> Oh, he hated them
00:02:22
>> after that. I mean, would like if I got
00:02:24
hurt by an animal.
00:02:25
>> Turn him into glow.
00:02:28
>> If you got hurt by an animal, you're
00:02:30
going to hate it for life. Although that
00:02:32
might not be true. I got bit by my
00:02:33
buddy's dog. My buddy Adam's dog when I
00:02:35
was a kid. Still love dogs.
00:02:36
>> Yeah,
00:02:36
>> I deserve the bite.
00:02:38
>> I came in the back sliding door stoned
00:02:40
at night trying to sneak in to be quiet
00:02:43
to not wake up his mom. Dog bit me. My
00:02:45
fault.
00:02:46
>> I know a girl named Jenny. She has a big
00:02:47
pitball scar on her face.
00:02:50
>> Right. And then I go, "Can you dog sit?"
00:02:53
I asked her and she's like, "No."
00:02:56
>> Why, Jenny?
00:02:57
>> Yeah, cuz they're little though. My dogs
00:02:58
are little.
00:02:58
>> You don't have big scary dogs.
00:03:00
>> They'll bite your ankle.
00:03:01
>> Well, that's not true.
00:03:02
>> Yeah. Julio.
00:03:03
>> Julio is a nightmare.
00:03:04
>> Yeah. Yeah. Bite your neck.
00:03:06
>> He will he will kill you.
00:03:07
>> Julio has that like
00:03:09
>> Yeah.
00:03:09
>> But then you go, "Come, come on. Come
00:03:11
on, Julio. Julio." And And then Julio
00:03:12
will calm down. But if Julio senses
00:03:15
something's up,
00:03:16
>> attack mode.
00:03:17
>> Yeah.
00:03:17
>> Attack mode. Do you think Wolverines and
00:03:20
Honey Badgers get along?
00:03:22
>> They're so similar.
00:03:23
>> Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I wonder
00:03:24
who would win in a fight.
00:03:26
>> That's That is such a good question. Who
00:03:28
would win a Honeybadger or a Wolverine?
00:03:31
>> Yeah.
00:03:31
>> No. Who would win though? You think
00:03:32
>> it says they do not get along? They hate
00:03:34
each other. They're highly territorial.
00:03:35
>> I would say so. Yeah.
00:03:36
>> I think a honey badger. Aren't they
00:03:38
crazy?
00:03:38
>> Yeah.
00:03:40
>> They didn't create a I mean, the X-Men
00:03:42
should have had You know what I mean?
00:03:43
>> Honey Badger.
00:03:44
>> Honey Badger.
00:03:44
>> Cuz honey doesn't sound threatening.
00:03:46
>> I think that's what it is. Yeah.
00:03:47
Problem. Yeah, Wolverine sounds good,
00:03:49
but like Honeybadger.
00:03:51
>> Yeah,
00:03:51
>> Wolverine would most likely win
00:03:53
according to AI overview doing due to
00:03:55
its significantly larger size.
00:03:57
>> That's what I thought.
00:03:57
>> Yeah.
00:03:58
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:03:58
>> Size and strength. Yeah. Offensive
00:04:00
power.
00:04:01
>> What about Tasmanian Devil? Is that a
00:04:03
mix?
00:04:03
>> Oh, yeah. They got
00:04:04
>> They're They're small.
00:04:05
>> Oh, yeah.
00:04:05
>> And then they're smaller,
00:04:06
>> but they're crazy.
00:04:07
>> They're crazy. There's The sound that
00:04:09
they make is insane.
00:04:10
>> Have you ever heard it?
00:04:11
>> Yes.
00:04:11
>> Oh, it's it's it's insane.
00:04:13
>> Insane. And wait, you know why they'll
00:04:15
win?
00:04:18
Let me see if I can do it.
00:04:19
>> I'm hungry.
00:04:22
>> As Mania and Bobby.
00:04:23
>> Yeah. Can you do one?
00:04:24
>> Do it again.
00:04:33
>> It's that That's
00:04:34
>> Do you know the lore of this? The truth?
00:04:36
>> Yeah.
00:04:37
>> Why they're called Tasmanian devils?
00:04:38
>> What?
00:04:39
>> When people first came to that area,
00:04:42
>> they were they in they live in the woods
00:04:44
at night. They heard that sound. Yeah.
00:04:47
They thought it was the devil. They
00:04:48
thought that was devil's island. That is
00:04:49
very true. Also, these things are crazy
00:04:52
blind. They can't see [ __ ]
00:04:54
>> But their jaw, look at the jaw strength
00:04:56
of a Tasmanian devil. Look it up.
00:04:58
>> They can bite through. I I want to know
00:04:59
how many pounds per square inch or
00:05:01
something. It's
00:05:01
>> That's my new [ __ ] noise, by the way.
00:05:05
>> Tasmanian devils have an exceptionally
00:05:07
powerful bite for their size. They sight
00:05:09
it around 500 to,200 lb per square inch.
00:05:12
What's the average human bite? What's a
00:05:14
human bite? Human's bite force is 150
00:05:17
pounds per square inch.
00:05:19
>> Wow.
00:05:20
>> A Tasmanian devil. Is that good or bad?
00:05:22
>> It's 10 times us.
00:05:23
>> It's Yeah. Yeah.
00:05:25
>> That's crazy. What is that? The
00:05:26
alligators is 3,700 lb per square inch.
00:05:29
>> Wow.
00:05:29
>> That's why all those idiots in Florida
00:05:31
are like They love the They love the
00:05:33
threat. I'm going to get down there. I'm
00:05:34
going to wrestle that gator. See what
00:05:36
happens.
00:05:36
>> But I hear hippos are the ones you don't
00:05:38
want to [ __ ] with.
00:05:39
>> They're aggressive.
00:05:40
>> They're aggressive. They're aggressive.
00:05:41
>> They're gigantic mouths.
00:05:43
>> Mhm. You know, and they um they are very
00:05:46
territorial. Not only they protect their
00:05:48
babies. If you if you see a hippo baby,
00:05:49
run
00:05:50
>> cuz they'll kill you.
00:05:51
>> The mother will kill you.
00:05:52
>> Yeah. They'll just kill you. What is the
00:05:53
father doing?
00:05:54
>> Is he Is he MIA?
00:05:56
>> Yeah. He He left.
00:05:58
>> Go ahead.
00:05:58
>> No, you go ahead.
00:05:59
>> No, you go.
00:06:00
>> You go ahead. You go ahead.
00:06:01
>> I don't want it.
00:06:02
>> Yeah. I don't want it either
00:06:05
bread.
00:06:07
>> I'm going to get bread. I'm going to get
00:06:08
bread. I'll be back. It never comes
00:06:09
back.
00:06:09
>> Never comes back.
00:06:10
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:06:11
>> Well, they can swallow. They They bite.
00:06:12
You see them bite through stuff is nuts.
00:06:14
>> Yeah.
00:06:14
>> You ever seen them bite through like a
00:06:16
watermelon?
00:06:16
>> Oh [ __ ] Yeah.
00:06:17
>> They can crack right through it. Fancy.
00:06:20
>> Fancy.
00:06:21
>> Why'd you say watermelon?
00:06:23
>> Cuz I always see videos of hippos and
00:06:24
watermelon.
00:06:25
>> Out of all the vegetables, just say
00:06:27
pumpkin.
00:06:28
>> I always see videos. No, no, no, no.
00:06:30
There's always videos of hippos with
00:06:31
watermelon. You see it. You know it.
00:06:33
>> Yeah. And fried chicken.
00:06:36
>> I knew it. I was waiting for it, dude. I
00:06:39
was waiting.
00:06:40
>> Look at that. Oh, yeah. It is
00:06:42
watermelon. Whoa. Whoa.
00:06:44
>> That thing. Wow. Have you ever seen him
00:06:47
feed him a carton of Newports? He'll
00:06:48
He'll do that. HE'LL
00:06:56
>> go right through it.
00:06:57
>> It's crazy.
00:06:59
>> So funny. Also, hippos, there's a pink
00:07:03
residue that ex um that comes out of
00:07:06
their skin.
00:07:07
>> I don't know this.
00:07:07
>> Do you know this?
00:07:08
>> No.
00:07:08
>> Yeah. There's a pink residue.
00:07:11
Uh big there is no joke. That's a true
00:07:15
thing. There is no joke. There's a big
00:07:17
residue.
00:07:18
>> No way.
00:07:18
>> Yes.
00:07:19
>> I'm looking for the joke in my mind.
00:07:21
>> There is no joke.
00:07:22
>> There is a true fact.
00:07:23
>> Residue. If I Is there not a residue?
00:07:26
>> Oh, he's right. Hippos secrete a thick
00:07:28
oily reddish substance called blood
00:07:30
sweat.
00:07:30
>> Blood sweat.
00:07:32
>> Not [ __ ] sweat. Blood sweat.
00:07:36
>> It's sunscreen.
00:07:38
SPF. Wow.
00:07:40
>> Yeah. Blood, sweat.
00:07:41
>> Yeah,
00:07:42
>> that's where it comes from. Blood,
00:07:43
sweat, and tears.
00:07:44
>> Tears.
00:07:45
>> Yeah. I wonder what it is.
00:07:47
>> Wow. They secrete
00:07:49
>> a red substance. They do.
00:07:51
>> It protects their sun, the skin from sun
00:07:53
and bacteria.
00:07:54
>> Yeah.
00:07:55
>> I thought about that, too.
00:07:56
>> I don't even know why I know that.
00:07:58
>> HOW THE [ __ ] DO I KNOW THAT? THAT'S
00:07:59
AWESOME.
00:08:00
>> OUT OF ALL THE THINGS, I just know that.
00:08:03
>> Well, I looked at my dog today. We took
00:08:04
a dog on a walk today and I thought, how
00:08:06
weird that we're of all the species,
00:08:09
like we're the ones that want to walk
00:08:10
upright that figured out walking upright
00:08:12
was the move. Isn't that crazy that we
00:08:14
were like, "Fuck this. All fours is
00:08:16
crazy." Yeah,
00:08:16
>> I'm up here. I'm getting up. Well, how
00:08:20
did we get up?
00:08:21
>> I have no idea.
00:08:22
>> Like, something must have taught us to
00:08:24
get up.
00:08:25
>> God,
00:08:26
>> excuse me.
00:08:27
>> God,
00:08:27
>> don't bring your Spanish [ __ ] voodoo
00:08:29
to this room. Humans walking upright
00:08:31
because it offered key survival
00:08:32
advantages. I know, but why did we Why?
00:08:34
Other animals can get upright. They just
00:08:36
>> No, I mean banana.
00:08:40
>> Go on.
00:08:41
>> No, I'm just saying what I'm saying is
00:08:44
>> they're up in the trees.
00:08:45
>> Banana,
00:08:46
>> right? Yeah, I get it.
00:08:47
>> Yeah.
00:08:48
>> Yeah. Food is up high.
00:08:49
>> THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING. NO, IT'S DUDE,
00:08:52
food's up there. Yeah. Yeah.
00:08:54
>> Yeah. We didn't want ground food. We
00:08:55
wanted high food.
00:08:56
>> Yeah.
00:08:57
>> Is it right or no? Oh, yeah. You come
00:08:59
You come up with one,
00:09:00
>> brother. I love it.
00:09:00
>> No. No. No. What do you mean YOU LOVE
00:09:02
IT? YOU COME UP WITH ONE, MAN.
00:09:03
>> NO, it's cuz we're up to it.
00:09:05
>> Why do you think
00:09:05
>> vantage point attack?
00:09:07
>> Exactly.
00:09:07
>> Bigger.
00:09:08
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:09:09
>> Yeah.
00:09:10
>> Me big.
00:09:10
>> Yeah. Me big.
00:09:11
>> You small.
00:09:12
>> Yeah. You small. What happened to Why?
00:09:13
Why did we stop climbing the trees
00:09:15
though?
00:09:16
>> It probably hurts.
00:09:18
>> Yeah.
00:09:19
>> You know what I mean? Like if we
00:09:21
evolved.
00:09:22
>> Mhm.
00:09:22
>> Yeah. I mean, you would think that we'd
00:09:23
still Well, Alex Honold does still does
00:09:26
it.
00:09:26
>> Hon does it.
00:09:27
>> Yeah. Did you see that?
00:09:29
>> Yeah. Tell me about it.
00:09:30
>> Pissed me off. Why does it piss you off?
00:09:33
>> I just Why is he doing that? Insane.
00:09:35
>> It's crazy. I mean, kudos. The guy's
00:09:37
amazing, but you're like, "What is
00:09:38
this?"
00:09:39
>> El Capitan is scarier though.
00:09:42
>> No, he said this was [ __ ] weird.
00:09:44
>> But I'll tell you why. Cuz I saw it. Did
00:09:45
you see it?
00:09:46
>> I watched it.
00:09:46
>> Yeah. There are places where he would he
00:09:48
could fall where, you know, because once
00:09:50
once he gets to a certain section,
00:09:52
>> he's climbing again and he could have
00:09:54
fell down to like the next level.
00:09:55
>> I know.
00:09:56
>> You know what I mean? Where is El
00:09:57
Capitan? Once you fall,
00:10:00
>> you're dead. There's no nothing saving
00:10:01
you.
00:10:02
>> This was a great PR stunt for Netflix. I
00:10:04
mean, 100%. And by the way, get paid.
00:10:06
Good for him. That that that second of
00:10:09
his wife like waving out the window was
00:10:10
the weirdest.
00:10:12
>> What do you think of that relationship?
00:10:14
>> I mean, it seems weird.
00:10:15
>> I think it seems like it's going up.
00:10:19
>> Yeah.
00:10:19
>> I don't know. It's strange because she
00:10:20
they talked about it. Is this the same
00:10:22
girl from the documentary where where he
00:10:24
says he's going to leave her? He's I'm
00:10:26
either going to climb. You either stick
00:10:27
around and I'm climbing or you can kick
00:10:28
[ __ ] rocks. Yeah.
00:10:29
>> And she was like, "I'll stay."
00:10:31
>> Yeah.
00:10:31
>> I mean, she They must genuinely love
00:10:34
each other.
00:10:34
>> Yeah. Maybe they have two kids now.
00:10:36
>> They do? Yeah.
00:10:37
>> Where are they? Up at the top of that
00:10:38
building.
00:10:40
>> They're at the one center or whatever in
00:10:41
in Shuan.
00:10:42
>> I wouldn't be able to watch this if if I
00:10:44
was a kid. Like if your dad was doing
00:10:45
that, would you be able to watch?
00:10:46
>> No. It's crazy. Oh, that's cute.
00:10:48
>> Yeah. What a
00:10:48
>> By the way, this was in China, right? It
00:10:50
was at It was in Beijing or where was
00:10:51
it?
00:10:51
>> Uh Singapore.
00:10:52
>> Oh, Singapore.
00:10:53
>> Was it Singapore?
00:10:54
>> Singapore.
00:10:54
>> Yeah.
00:10:55
>> GREAT AUDIENCE ASIANS THOUGH. OH, EVERY
00:10:58
every second
00:11:01
>> everything blows their
00:11:02
>> mind on the floors are there with the
00:11:04
cameras on
00:11:06
>> they were THEY WERE
00:11:09
YEAH. YEAH. YEAH. YEAH.
00:11:10
>> This guy it was it was cool to see but
00:11:12
like
00:11:14
>> you know you knew he was going to do it.
00:11:17
>> Yeah.
00:11:17
>> I mean I kind of wanted to see him slip
00:11:19
a little bit
00:11:19
>> and there's also a delay. You know
00:11:21
there's a delay. There's no way if he
00:11:24
fell there's no way they'd show it.
00:11:25
Well, because how quick can you snap a
00:11:26
camera away because they're punched in.
00:11:28
These guys are and the guys that were
00:11:29
doing the cameras on the ropes. That was
00:11:31
crazy, too. Yeah, because they had to
00:11:32
do, you know,
00:11:34
>> I'd be a drone. Give me the drone. I'll
00:11:35
fly that next to the guy.
00:11:36
>> Like, if my partner wanted to do that, I
00:11:38
would just be like, "Yeah, I'm not going
00:11:39
to be there."
00:11:40
>> Okay, but okay, let's make it more real.
00:11:42
What if your partner's like, "I love
00:11:43
deep sea fishing and I love deep sea
00:11:45
diving and I like swimming down with
00:11:48
sharks."
00:11:49
>> Kila,
00:11:51
>> she did that the whole relationship
00:11:52
you're with.
00:11:52
>> And guess what?
00:11:53
>> What?
00:11:53
>> I'm at home. I'm not watching that.
00:11:56
Yeah. I'm just,
00:11:57
>> you know, that's true. Yeah. Yeah.
00:11:58
>> But you said good luck. But you'd let
00:11:59
you, you know, you let them do it.
00:12:00
You're just not going to go.
00:12:01
>> Well, I did it a couple of times with
00:12:03
them, those kind of activity. But that's
00:12:04
completely different then, though. I
00:12:06
think
00:12:06
>> it's just as life-threatening cuz he's
00:12:08
an expert at this. The chances of him
00:12:09
falling are less likely than one of the
00:12:12
girls getting bit in the ocean.
00:12:13
>> You think so?
00:12:14
>> 100%. I You guys don't agree with that.
00:12:17
>> Think about this. Think for a second.
00:12:19
This guy is a is a flawless
00:12:22
professional,
00:12:23
>> right? M
00:12:24
>> he was never going to fall. That's why
00:12:25
they did it.
00:12:27
>> Those girls get in the water, they have
00:12:28
an element that they can't control. He
00:12:29
controls this all this.
00:12:31
>> They have animals that are you're at
00:12:32
their whim. Yeah.
00:12:33
>> They could just attack you for no
00:12:34
reason.
00:12:35
>> Yeah.
00:12:35
>> This guy, he was never going to fall.
00:12:37
There was no [ __ ] way.
00:12:38
>> But they did change the day cuz it was
00:12:40
raining.
00:12:41
>> Uh well, yeah, cuz you'd slip.
00:12:43
>> I mean,
00:12:44
>> let's let's man up.
00:12:46
>> Go
00:12:47
in the rain. Do it when it was raining.
00:12:49
[ __ ]
00:12:49
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:12:50
>> [ __ ] Call. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I heard
00:12:52
you didn't climb tornado. [ __ ] do it.
00:12:54
Let's see. Let's see if you can do it
00:12:55
during tornado.
00:12:56
>> Real element, not win.
00:12:58
>> Yeah,
00:12:58
>> this guy's the man though. He is,
00:13:00
>> you know, he is just in one of the
00:13:01
greatest athletes of in human history.
00:13:04
>> Did you see Speaking of great athletes,
00:13:06
did you see Shawn White jumping over
00:13:09
Gillis and Okconor in Central Park?
00:13:11
>> No.
00:13:12
>> Sean during the snow closing in New
00:13:14
York.
00:13:15
>> Shawn White literally jumped over Gillis
00:13:18
and Okconor. Like look at this. He just
00:13:21
like ollies over them in the It's in
00:13:23
Central Park, right? Is that where it
00:13:24
was?
00:13:24
>> Yeah. On TMZ.
00:13:25
>> How sick is that?
00:13:26
>> Wow.
00:13:27
>> They're just chilling, drinking Bud
00:13:28
Lights, and And he's ollie hopping over
00:13:30
these guys on a snowboard.
00:13:31
>> Wow.
00:13:33
>> I'd love to get hit in the head by that
00:13:34
snowboard. Yeah.
00:13:35
>> Get paid, huh? Get a check from Burton.
00:13:39
>> Wow. Wow. Wow.
00:13:40
>> How cool is that?
00:13:41
>> Yeah.
00:13:42
>> Can we even say it or no?
00:13:44
>> Say what?
00:13:45
>> About you doing tires.
00:13:46
>> Oh, yeah. I'm doing a couple episodes of
00:13:48
tires. Why? What?
00:13:48
>> Huge. No, I'm saying is I don't know if
00:13:50
you're not
00:13:50
>> We talked about it. Remember we did the
00:13:52
whole script thing. You know what I
00:13:53
mean? I think that did it.
00:13:54
>> We got you that role.
00:13:55
>> Oh, on our on the episode. You
00:13:57
>> remember that? Yeah. How many? I'm doing
00:14:00
two. Yeah.
00:14:00
>> Awesome. What's your name character's
00:14:02
name?
00:14:02
>> I don't know.
00:14:03
>> What did you want it to be?
00:14:05
>> I think you should bring that to the
00:14:06
table.
00:14:07
>> I I'd love to do that.
00:14:09
>> I think you should just tell them what
00:14:10
you want to play. Go, you know, I've
00:14:11
been thinking about it.
00:14:12
>> Yeah.
00:14:12
>> I'm a senior.
00:14:12
>> Does it matter
00:14:14
>> your name?
00:14:14
>> Yeah. Yeah. I just don't like all the
00:14:17
every time I played something, it's
00:14:18
always like a boring non-creative name.
00:14:20
>> I'm always Ken for some reason. I
00:14:23
>> mean, we know the reason.
00:14:24
>> Yeah. Or what? I've played I played Jyn
00:14:26
a couple of times.
00:14:28
>> Ken Jyn.
00:14:29
>> Yeah. What else have I played? Um,
00:14:31
>> dude, I finished all of Bert's show, by
00:14:33
the way.
00:14:34
>> You saw it? The whole thing?
00:14:35
>> It's awesome. It's on Netflix.
00:14:37
>> Wow. Yeah, I know. I think we're
00:14:38
>> It's such an easy watch.
00:14:39
>> Is it?
00:14:39
>> Yeah. It's great. Yeah. Everyone in it
00:14:41
is funny. It's great. Chris Watowski.
00:14:43
Wataski.
00:14:44
>> Chris Watowski. Yeah. Am I saying it
00:14:45
right?
00:14:45
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:14:46
>> Fantastic.
00:14:46
>> He's so funny.
00:14:47
>> Yeah, he's great. Kills it. Chicago.
00:14:49
Great dude. It's a funny show, man.
00:14:50
>> You You know what's so funny about
00:14:52
Chicago guys? You Chicago guys help each
00:14:54
other.
00:14:54
>> Well, we like each other.
00:14:55
>> I know, but you guys always help each
00:14:56
other.
00:14:56
>> San Diego guys don't do that.
00:14:57
>> No, why not?
00:14:58
>> Cuz there's not a lot.
00:15:00
>> Well, there there's a lot of
00:15:01
>> I see a lot of Chicago guys like, "Hey,
00:15:03
you know what? I mean, use that guy."
00:15:05
You know,
00:15:05
>> there's some good Well, there's a lot
00:15:06
Well, there's a lot from Chicago people
00:15:08
for acting and comedy.
00:15:09
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:15:10
>> What do you mean? San Diego has a lot of
00:15:12
famous people. Has Adam Driver never
00:15:13
called you?
00:15:16
Bobby, I want you TO DO SOMETHING WITH
00:15:17
ME. YEAH. How do you feel about good
00:15:20
soup?
00:15:23
>> Nick Cannon is from San Diego.
00:15:24
>> Yeah. Yeah,
00:15:25
>> dude. Ted Dansen.
00:15:26
>> Yo, I need you to babysit for me, Bob.
00:15:30
>> Kids.
00:15:30
>> Was that Nick Cannon?
00:15:32
>> Hey yo, I need you to babysit for me.
00:15:34
>> For me, my is from San Diego.
00:15:37
>> Yeah. Who else?
00:15:38
>> Adam Brody.
00:15:40
>> Okay, that's good. I didn't know all
00:15:42
these people were from there.
00:15:44
I mean, that's a lot. Tom Weights.
00:15:46
>> Wow.
00:15:47
>> Wow. Tony Hawk. We know Tony. Sean
00:15:49
White, Bill Walton, Kendra Wilkinson,
00:15:51
Tony Gwyn, Junior. Seo.
00:15:53
>> Yeah.
00:15:53
>> Chris.
00:15:54
>> Interesting. I'm not even on that list.
00:15:56
>> You are. Where?
00:15:56
>> You are. You're right there. Bobby Lee.
00:15:58
>> Oh, I am.
00:15:59
>> Why does it say comedian?
00:16:04
>> Nick Cannon. Dude, this is This list is
00:16:05
thick.
00:16:06
>> It's a pretty good list. Yeah.
00:16:07
>> Cameron Diaz. We skipped over. I thought
00:16:08
she was from Long Beach.
00:16:09
>> She is. Yeah. I don't
00:16:11
>> know. She was born in San Diego but went
00:16:13
to school. Yeah. Robin Wright
00:16:15
>> Penn.
00:16:16
>> Yeah. He went to LA school.
00:16:18
>> Is it not? They got a divorce.
00:16:20
>> Yeah.
00:16:20
>> Long time ago.
00:16:21
>> He was so good in that movie. They got a
00:16:22
divorce. Huh.
00:16:23
>> Yeah.
00:16:24
>> You know, I had dinner with her one
00:16:25
time.
00:16:25
>> Robin Wright.
00:16:26
>> Yeah. I was in I was in um Michigan.
00:16:30
>> Yeah.
00:16:30
>> Right. I had a couple of scenes in a
00:16:32
movie and the producer of the movie was
00:16:35
dating her.
00:16:36
>> Whoa.
00:16:37
>> So um I had the producer like have
00:16:40
dinner. You know what I mean? I show up
00:16:41
and she was at the dinner.
00:16:42
>> Was he a good-looking guy, the producer?
00:16:44
>> Pretty good-looking. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:16:45
>> Cuz sometimes you meet these producers
00:16:46
that date these actresses and you're
00:16:48
like, "How the fuck?"
00:16:48
>> Well, he was a longfaced like Sean. I
00:16:50
think she likes long face.
00:16:51
>> She likes a long face.
00:16:52
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:16:53
>> Like, you know, descriptive like a
00:16:55
president. Like an old president.
00:16:56
>> Oh, yes. So, you wouldn't be her type.
00:16:58
No,
00:16:58
>> you're a long face.
00:16:59
>> But yeah, I'm a long face. Yeah. But but
00:17:01
what I remember about her is be her
00:17:03
being very funny.
00:17:05
>> I mean, she's so smart and cool.
00:17:06
>> Yeah, she was very funny. Yeah.
00:17:08
>> What's your favorite role of hers?
00:17:11
>> Jesus Christ. Um,
00:17:12
>> she didn't play that.
00:17:18
>> He is.
00:17:19
>> I mean, obviously the first time I
00:17:20
noticed her was Princess Bride.
00:17:24
>> Yeah. It was really, really good.
00:17:26
>> Yeah. And then Jenna.
00:17:28
>> Yeah. Forest Gump is probably the most
00:17:29
iconic.
00:17:29
>> Iconic. But she was good in Wonder
00:17:31
Woman. Well, she was fun in that. Yeah.
00:17:34
Puffed out. Yeah. She's just a super
00:17:37
beautiful though.
00:17:37
>> Yeah, she's pretty stunning.
00:17:39
>> Stunning. Right. Who do Who you think?
00:17:41
Her or who would you? Sharon Stone or
00:17:43
her, you think?
00:17:43
>> Her for sure.
00:17:44
>> But Sharon Stone in her prime though. Oh
00:17:46
my god.
00:17:47
>> No, she's she's
00:17:48
>> wholesome. Just beautiful.
00:17:49
>> Yeah. Look at that.
00:17:50
>> Wow. What a beautiful girl.
00:17:51
>> Gorgeous, mate. Gorgeous.
00:17:53
>> Very talented, too.
00:17:54
>> Absolutely lovely.
00:17:54
>> Kate Blanch, it's I think the same
00:17:56
thing.
00:17:57
>> Not my style, but Yeah.
00:17:58
>> Yeah. But just beautiful. Wholesome
00:18:00
white. Yeah.
00:18:00
>> What is it?
00:18:01
>> Andress just sent me something. Let's
00:18:03
see. It's some sort of meme. No, I just
00:18:05
read I this guy won the lottery and so
00:18:09
so surprising he found love that
00:18:12
day.
00:18:12
>> $181 million lottery winner falls in
00:18:15
love.
00:18:16
>> Yeah.
00:18:17
>> And the lottery winner is the woman.
00:18:19
Yeah,
00:18:20
>> cuz she that's she won the lottery with
00:18:22
that guy,
00:18:22
>> dude.
00:18:24
>> Just by chance.
00:18:25
>> Two days after.
00:18:27
>> Tell me this guy's British 100%, right?
00:18:29
>> Yeah.
00:18:29
>> Is he not British?
00:18:31
>> No, he's American. This where?
00:18:33
>> North Carolina. I find myself a beauty
00:18:35
girl. Dude, wait till you see my Wait
00:18:37
till you see the girl that I got. She
00:18:39
don't want nothing from me.
00:18:41
>> Isn't that incredible though?
00:18:42
>> She's poisoning him.
00:18:43
>> This is basically what happened.
00:18:47
>> Life changed.
00:18:48
>> Yeah. Life over. Life over.
00:18:50
>> You think it's over?
00:18:51
>> The lottery is the worst thing they say
00:18:52
statistically like these people end up
00:18:54
killing themselves, going broke.
00:18:55
>> You want to hear a statistic?
00:18:57
>> Same thing. Same.
00:18:59
>> Love statistics.
00:19:01
>> Bobby statistics. We'll be right back.
00:19:05
You want to hear one? Right. People that
00:19:08
are um that are in a car accident and
00:19:11
paralyzed from the neck down are get are
00:19:13
happier than lottery winners.
00:19:17
>> No, you made that up. I didn't
00:19:19
>> I mean that sounds
00:19:20
>> I'll tell you why.
00:19:21
>> Why?
00:19:21
>> Can I tell you why?
00:19:23
>> So when you win the lottery, right? Um
00:19:25
you your friends and family, they
00:19:27
change,
00:19:28
>> right? They all want the money me. Also,
00:19:30
you don't know how to manage money. So,
00:19:32
you lose the money quickly. Right.
00:19:33
>> Right. You start buying houses and cars
00:19:35
for your friends and all that stuff and
00:19:37
the pain it becomes more painful your
00:19:39
life.
00:19:40
>> Yeah. Well, more burdened.
00:19:42
>> More burden, more pain. You know what I
00:19:43
mean? And um somebody that's in been in
00:19:45
a car accident paralyzed from McDown,
00:19:47
right? When they can taste orange juice
00:19:49
for the first time, there's super joy
00:19:50
there. When they can move a pinky,
00:19:53
right? Like every day, you know, some
00:19:55
some new thing happens,
00:19:57
>> right? They they you get more joy and
00:20:00
there's more, you know what I mean?
00:20:01
>> The small things matter.
00:20:03
>> Small things. And then you realize who
00:20:05
your true friends are and loved ones
00:20:07
when you're in a car accident.
00:20:09
>> Mhm.
00:20:09
>> Yeah. And so, um, they say that you
00:20:12
you're happier.
00:20:13
>> I agree. I mean, you see the the history
00:20:15
of all these people that win the lottery
00:20:17
is awful.
00:20:18
>> It's awful. Yeah. They lose it quickly.
00:20:20
>> Whenever they're always like the guy
00:20:21
What was the dude there? Wasn't there a
00:20:24
guy that just killed himself that won
00:20:25
that won a lottery not too long ago?
00:20:27
Like he just
00:20:29
>> You guys think that this guy's going to
00:20:30
lose the love if he loses the money?
00:20:33
>> Yes.
00:20:34
>> Yes.
00:20:35
>> Mental health struggles very big. The
00:20:38
curse. The curse of the lottery. Uh 70%
00:20:40
of lottery winners go broke or face
00:20:42
severe financial distress within a few
00:20:43
years.
00:20:44
>> That was kind of like Do you remember
00:20:45
the show um what was it? Move that bus.
00:20:48
You know that [ __ ] show.
00:20:49
>> Extreme Home Makeover. They would give
00:20:51
these people these mansions. People that
00:20:53
made like 30 grand a year, they give
00:20:54
them a [ __ ] mansion. They couldn't
00:20:55
pay the taxes on it. They'd go broke.
00:20:57
Then they'd be in worse financial debt
00:20:59
than they were before they got the
00:21:00
house.
00:21:00
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:21:01
>> Yeah. Because it's a So they got sued,
00:21:03
right? Didn't they get sued? And then
00:21:04
they settled. And then at some point the
00:21:06
show had to continue on the air. So what
00:21:08
happened was then the network started
00:21:10
paying for the taxes or the whatever so
00:21:13
these people wouldn't drown,
00:21:14
>> right? Wow. That's interesting.
00:21:16
>> It's a bad It's a bad game.
00:21:19
Hey guys, do you know we're sponsored by
00:21:20
Pepsi? Bob, did you see that Pepsi did
00:21:23
another Pepsi challenge? Whoa, whoa,
00:21:24
>> whoa, whoa. People still do that?
00:21:25
>> Yes, they do still do that. And 66% of
00:21:28
people chose Pepsi Zero Sugar over
00:21:30
Coca-Cola Zero Sugar.
00:21:31
>> Oh, that that's not even close, dude.
00:21:33
>> I know. 66% of people over what
00:21:36
percentage of people chose Coca-Cola
00:21:37
Zero?
00:21:38
>> 44%. 34.
00:21:40
>> I guess Pepsi doesn't make you good at
00:21:41
math.
00:21:42
>> Right on, man. Good math.
00:21:43
>> Is that true or
00:21:44
>> That is very true. That's right on the
00:21:45
number.
00:21:46
>> Perfect. All right, let's take the
00:21:47
challenge. I'm going to try I'm going to
00:21:48
try.
00:21:49
>> There we go.
00:21:50
>> Okay. I'm going to take a straw in the A
00:21:53
and then the B. Ready? And I'm going to
00:21:56
try B first.
00:21:58
>> No, you go backwards. You always go
00:21:59
backwards.
00:21:59
>> I always go backwards because I just
00:22:01
>> I'm going to try A first.
00:22:06
>> And then I try B.
00:22:09
Okay. Don't say anything.
00:22:10
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:22:13
>> Okay.
00:22:13
>> Okay. What's yours?
00:22:14
>> On the count of three, we'll say.
00:22:16
>> All right. Wait, hold on.
00:22:17
>> Close your eyes.
00:22:18
>> I gota do it again. Hold on. I gota do
00:22:19
it again.
00:22:19
>> You should do it one more time.
00:22:23
>> Yeah.
00:22:25
>> Oh, yeah.
00:22:27
Got it.
00:22:27
>> I got it.
00:22:28
>> On the count of three.
00:22:30
>> In my mind is also, you know, I'm
00:22:32
parched. I'm in the Sahara Desert,
00:22:34
right? I'm dreaming of a cola beverage.
00:22:37
>> We're in a studio in Burbank.
00:22:38
>> No, in my mind. Oh, yeah.
00:22:39
>> Yeah. What? Like, what would I Right.
00:22:40
I'm parched. Yeah. I'm in the Sahara
00:22:42
Desert, right? and I'm trying to find a
00:22:45
liquor store or something or store or
00:22:47
convenience store so I can get a
00:22:48
beverage. Yeah. I see one in the desert
00:22:50
desert, right? And I
00:22:52
>> What if it's a mirage?
00:22:54
>> It could be a mirage. And I I only have
00:22:55
one opportunity to buy one beverage.
00:22:57
Which one would I pick? What you're
00:22:59
going to say? I'm going to say
00:23:00
>> one, two, three, a
00:23:03
>> No.
00:23:03
>> Let me see.
00:23:04
>> Let me see.
00:23:05
>> Oh my god.
00:23:08
>> Pepsi, dude.
00:23:09
>> No.
00:23:09
>> What's yours?
00:23:10
>> I picked Pepsi.
00:23:11
>> Yep.
00:23:11
>> Wow.
00:23:12
>> Got me. If I had an option based on the
00:23:14
TA test, I'm going with the rising star
00:23:17
>> because you're a rising star.
00:23:19
>> I'm a rising star.
00:23:20
>> Am I?
00:23:20
>> Yep.
00:23:20
>> I am.
00:23:21
>> Yeah, because you chose the 66%.
00:23:23
>> But my star is a little bloated. So, as
00:23:25
long as I keep drinking Pepsi Zero
00:23:26
Sugar, it might it might be a shooting
00:23:28
star at some point.
00:23:29
>> If you want to use that analogy.
00:23:31
>> [ __ ] I did.
00:23:32
>> I know. But you have to also think of it
00:23:34
this way, dude. I'm an alien. I'm
00:23:36
visiting Earth.
00:23:37
>> I'll I'll second that.
00:23:38
>> Oh my god. What city am I in?
00:23:41
uh at Los Angeles.
00:23:42
>> Hi.
00:23:43
>> Hi.
00:23:43
>> Um I heard about cola beverages. Can you
00:23:47
give me
00:23:47
>> They're phenomenal.
00:23:48
>> Are they? This one is the one that's the
00:23:51
best up and rising one.
00:23:53
>> Let me tell you something, Alien.
00:23:54
>> Yes.
00:23:55
>> I can get you the Pepsi challenge so you
00:23:56
can decide for yourself.
00:23:59
>> Is this right here?
00:24:01
>> That's it.
00:24:02
>> Wow.
00:24:02
>> That's the Pepsi challenge right there.
00:24:04
Are you an alien or a robot?
00:24:05
>> I am a combination of a cyborg and human
00:24:09
parts as well. You know what? I
00:24:10
shouldn't I've never questioned you. I'm
00:24:12
sorry.
00:24:12
>> I have also um bionatrix.
00:24:15
>> Are you made of biionatric?
00:24:16
>> Yes, I am.
00:24:17
>> Wonderful. All right. Why don't you take
00:24:19
the Pepsi challenge? What's your name,
00:24:20
sir?
00:24:20
>> Huh?
00:24:21
>> What's your name?
00:24:22
>> Alongo.
00:24:23
>> Alongo.
00:24:25
>> Alongo. What do you think?
00:24:26
>> I love it.
00:24:27
>> Take a sip.
00:24:28
>> Okay. Here we go.
00:24:33
>> That's not going to short circuit your
00:24:34
insides.
00:24:35
>> That's me s short circuiting.
00:24:37
>> Okay. Well, drink up before you die.
00:24:38
Yeah. before your system crashes.
00:24:43
>> Did you like that one more?
00:24:44
>> That one is better. Which one?
00:24:47
What? What? Longo.
00:24:49
>> Lango likes what better?
00:24:51
>> Pepsi.
00:24:52
>> You heard it here first. Lolongo likes
00:24:54
Pepsi more.
00:24:55
>> Pepsi. Pepsi Zero Sugar.
00:24:58
>> Lango likes Pepsi Zero Sugar more than
00:25:00
Coca-Cola Zero Sugar.
00:25:02
>> Go out and try Pepsi Zero Sugar today.
00:25:05
Let your taste decide.
00:25:09
The lottery is gross.
00:25:11
>> Statistic.
00:25:11
>> I'll give you a statistic.
00:25:12
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:25:14
>> Um,
00:25:16
smoking a pack of cigarettes is the
00:25:19
health equivalent to having unprotected
00:25:21
sex with five prostitutes.
00:25:24
>> It is.
00:25:25
>> No, I made it up.
00:25:27
>> Oh, [ __ ]
00:25:28
>> But it sounded real.
00:25:29
>> Sounded pretty real. Yeah. Sounded real.
00:25:30
Yeah. Okay. True or false? Let's see if
00:25:31
you can get
00:25:32
>> But you know, here I'll give you one
00:25:34
covered one, right? Um,
00:25:38
it's better to just be a cigarette
00:25:41
smoker um
00:25:43
>> for for co
00:25:48
>> True.
00:25:49
>> It is.
00:25:49
>> It was Yeah, it turned out Yeah. smokers
00:25:51
had better better lung capacity.
00:25:53
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:25:54
>> Yeah. Better propensity to like fix
00:25:55
themselves.
00:25:56
>> So, you know.
00:25:56
>> All right.
00:25:57
>> I'm not googling.
00:25:58
>> I don't like that you're
00:25:58
>> Yeah, Google it.
00:26:00
>> It's true.
00:26:01
>> Cuz I look dumb when I Google things
00:26:02
that are the joke.
00:26:03
>> No, it's not. It's true. Google it.
00:26:06
>> No.
00:26:08
>> No. People that smoke.
00:26:11
>> Extensive research authorities like
00:26:13
World Health Organization confirmed that
00:26:14
smoking increases the risks of severe
00:26:15
illness, hospitalization, and death from
00:26:17
COVID 19. In fact,
00:26:18
>> Oh, I made it up.
00:26:19
>> Yeah,
00:26:21
I made it up.
00:26:21
>> Can I tell you? You sold me.
00:26:23
>> I bought it.
00:26:24
>> Same.
00:26:24
>> Can I give you a statistic?
00:26:25
>> Is it real fellow or fake?
00:26:26
>> You tell me if it's true or fake.
00:26:28
>> [ __ ] Okay, go ahead.
00:26:28
>> All right.
00:26:30
78% of people that got the Johnson and
00:26:32
Johnson vaccine drove Dodge Chargers.
00:26:39
>> What? 78? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think I
00:26:43
think it's false.
00:26:44
>> I think it's false cuz I don't know
00:26:45
anybody that brought
00:26:46
>> It's 87. It's 87. It's the other way.
00:26:49
>> Yeah. Wow. That's a good one.
00:26:53
>> Ah, that one's for McCone. Mccone.
00:26:56
Welcome back, Mone. He's back. Give it
00:26:58
up for Mone.
00:27:00
He got stuck in New York City. How was
00:27:03
New York, you pig?
00:27:05
>> It was great. It was very fun. It was
00:27:06
nice hanging out with you. And Yeah.
00:27:09
>> Yeah. We took the boy
00:27:10
>> took the boy to Madison Square Garden.
00:27:12
Had a fun little time there. Then we to
00:27:14
went then we went to what we thought was
00:27:15
a gay bar,
00:27:16
>> but it was just gay night.
00:27:18
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:27:19
>> It was all women. We went downstairs and
00:27:21
it was all women.
00:27:23
>> Wow. And then it took 5 seconds for the
00:27:25
intelligent people to go, "Oh, it's a
00:27:26
gay bar." And these [ __ ] dorks, him
00:27:29
and his buddy were like, "There's a lot
00:27:30
of babes here, man."
00:27:31
>> They were like, "Great ratio." And they
00:27:33
were all
00:27:33
>> I was like, "Great ratio. These women
00:27:35
don't like penises."
00:27:36
>> Oh, wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.
00:27:37
>> You can tell cuz a girl came up to me
00:27:38
and dapped me up right away.
00:27:40
>> She literally goes, "Yo, [ __ ] love
00:27:42
your show, dog." And I was like, "Yeah,
00:27:43
thank you, dude."
00:27:44
>> Wow, wow, wow, wow.
00:27:45
>> Big, by the way, big in the lesbian
00:27:46
community. That's huge. Bad friends. We
00:27:48
love that.
00:27:49
>> Really?
00:27:49
>> Yeah. [ __ ] yeah. We had a lot of fans
00:27:51
there. It was great. Yeah, that's
00:27:52
>> made me feel good.
00:27:53
>> That's amazing.
00:27:55
>> All right, I really like it.
00:27:57
>> Sorry for sharing.
00:27:58
>> That's really good. I like it.
00:27:59
>> You go to a gay bar, you find out.
00:28:01
>> Yeah, you get recognized at gay bars.
00:28:04
No,
00:28:05
>> Bobby, you're back.
00:28:08
>> Where have you been?
00:28:10
>> Yeah,
00:28:10
>> you bad boy.
00:28:11
>> I just got tuned out for a second. It
00:28:13
was so weird.
00:28:13
>> Yeah, where are you going?
00:28:15
>> Because I had I came up with another
00:28:16
statistic, but then it's like it was it
00:28:18
was too late. It was too late to say it
00:28:20
because it we had transitioned onto
00:28:22
something else and I just got stuck on
00:28:24
it. But it's like I'm not even gonna say
00:28:25
it, but I'm just saying.
00:28:26
>> Come on, give it to me. Give it to me.
00:28:28
>> It's stupid.
00:28:29
>> They're all stupid.
00:28:30
>> So [ __ ] dumb. I don't know why for
00:28:32
like a minute I got hung up on it. You
00:28:34
know what I mean?
00:28:35
>> You know those people that uh in China
00:28:37
where they can walk like it looks like
00:28:39
they're they can walk above the ground
00:28:40
like they're floating when they they're
00:28:42
dancing.
00:28:43
>> Do you know that? Y
00:28:44
>> Yeah. Did you know that those people
00:28:45
that not everyone can do it, but those
00:28:47
people they don't have bone marrow?
00:28:49
>> Did you know that?
00:28:50
>> Mhm.
00:28:50
>> No, being real.
00:28:52
>> Is that a stat?
00:28:55
>> Is it 100%.
00:28:56
>> What do you mean this? What do you mean
00:28:58
this?
00:28:59
>> That's not a good one.
00:29:02
>> I know. But that's why. But that's why
00:29:04
for a minute I was thinking about it,
00:29:06
right? No, it wasn't. I know it wasn't.
00:29:09
For for some reason I couldn't get my
00:29:11
mind I got stuck in it.
00:29:14
>> You know what I mean? In my mind I was
00:29:15
like this is not a good one cuz you're
00:29:17
making it up obviously. You know what I
00:29:18
mean?
00:29:19
>> And then I just couldn't stop thinking
00:29:20
about it.
00:29:21
>> Bone marrow.
00:29:22
>> Yeah. Exactly. It wasn't even good.
00:29:23
That's why I even said I don't even say
00:29:25
anything.
00:29:26
>> No, it's fine.
00:29:27
>> I just did. It's It's
00:29:28
>> Yeah, I know. But you didn't have to go
00:29:29
[ __ ] call me out.
00:29:30
>> Well, it was just so
00:29:31
>> Yeah. You did this.
00:29:33
>> Why did you do this?
00:29:34
>> I didn't like it.
00:29:35
>> Yeah, I don't like IT EITHER. I DIDN'T
00:29:36
WANT TO SAY IT.
00:29:38
THAT'S TERRIBLE.
00:29:40
>> The meal was bad.
00:29:40
>> It was bad.
00:29:42
>> I don't want to eat that.
00:29:43
>> Like a kid. Get that. What is that?
00:29:45
>> This is the most condescending [ __ ]
00:29:47
I've ever seen. Yeah.
00:29:48
>> Right.
00:29:49
>> Yeah. Oh my god. I hate that. It's like
00:29:51
spitting in someone's face.
00:29:52
>> I didn't spit on you.
00:29:53
>> That's basically is like spit in your
00:29:55
face. Yeah. Yeah. God, that's the worst.
00:29:57
>> Wipe it away.
00:29:58
>> Yeah. Anyway,
00:29:59
>> did you have fun in New York? What else
00:30:00
did you do? What'd you get into?
00:30:01
>> I mean, there wasn't much. We were
00:30:02
snowed in, but I went to the I went to
00:30:04
the the Met. That was very fun. M
00:30:07
>> great museum.
00:30:08
>> Yeah.
00:30:08
>> You went by yourself?
00:30:09
>> No, I was stay with my friends JACKSON
00:30:11
AND ABBY.
00:30:12
>> OH, HOW ARE THEY? ANYWAY, um
00:30:16
>> who gives a [ __ ] But anyway,
00:30:20
>> shut it down.
00:30:21
>> Shut it down.
00:30:22
>> Shut it down.
00:30:23
>> Shut it down hard.
00:30:24
>> Get the [ __ ] out.
00:30:25
>> Shut it down.
00:30:26
>> Yeah. Um that's great.
00:30:27
>> No, that is nice.
00:30:28
>> You want Tell us what you saw the M.
00:30:31
>> Yeah.
00:30:32
>> You don't even want to know.
00:30:33
>> What is the beautiful artwork you saw?
00:30:35
Did you have a slice of New York pizza?
00:30:39
>> We went to a bar together above uh above
00:30:41
Five Guys.
00:30:43
>> That was actually wild. You walk into
00:30:45
Five Guys
00:30:46
>> like you're going to order and there's a
00:30:48
[ __ ] bouncer by the fryer
00:30:50
>> and you hand them your ID and there's a
00:30:52
bar up a secret bar upstairs.
00:30:53
>> No.
00:30:53
>> Yeah, it was kind of cool.
00:30:54
>> And Five Guys.
00:30:55
>> Yeah. And you could take
00:30:56
>> inside.
00:30:56
>> Inside and you could take some peanuts
00:30:58
to go upstairs and everything.
00:30:59
>> Wow.
00:30:59
>> It was kind of a cool little bar. It was
00:31:00
like a nice little nook tucked away.
00:31:03
Five Guys in the village. Wow. Is that
00:31:05
the original Five Guys?
00:31:06
>> No. Uh, the original is Four Guys and
00:31:08
that's up the street.
00:31:10
>> They just had the one up.
00:31:11
>> Hey, dude.
00:31:14
>> That's your That Dude,
00:31:18
>> that was bad.
00:31:18
>> That was your bone marrow. That was my
00:31:19
bone marrow.
00:31:20
>> Yeah, that was your bone marrow. Yeah.
00:31:21
Yeah. Four guys.
00:31:23
>> No, the original Five Guys I think is in
00:31:24
DC. Am I wrong?
00:31:25
>> I believe so. I'm looking
00:31:26
>> I think my buddy Tyler took me to the
00:31:28
original Five Guys in
00:31:30
>> Arlington.
00:31:30
>> Arlington or wherever it is. Arlington,
00:31:32
Virginia. There it is. Yeah, I think I
00:31:34
went to that one with him.
00:31:35
>> Now, is the original like the original
00:31:38
Panda or the original whatever. Is it
00:31:40
better than the the chain of it?
00:31:42
>> I mean, I'm sure the locals would say
00:31:44
yes. Right. Cuz they grew. If you had
00:31:46
the first, you're always going to be
00:31:47
like, we did it. It's like the band.
00:31:48
You're like, I knew that band before.
00:31:49
You like that band?
00:31:50
>> That album wasn't as good as the first
00:31:52
one that I heard
00:31:53
>> because the Cuz the original Panda
00:31:54
Express, the actual restaurant
00:31:56
restaurant apparently is very good.
00:31:57
>> It's in Pasadena, California.
00:31:58
>> What's that called? Panda.
00:32:00
>> Panda in
00:32:00
>> Panda In. Right. Is it?
00:32:02
>> It's right there. Zoom in, bud. The
00:32:04
original concept for Panda Express
00:32:05
started with Panda in sitdown restaurant
00:32:06
opened by Andrew and Peggy Chung Chung
00:32:09
in Pasadena 1973 on Foothill Boulevard.
00:32:11
It burned down during the fires.
00:32:13
However, somehow the chowine did
00:32:15
survive.
00:32:16
>> That stuff is just not flammable.
00:32:18
>> Chowane is so strong.
00:32:20
>> So strong.
00:32:20
>> There's the original. That's Panda
00:32:22
Express. The original Panda in. I hate
00:32:24
Panda Express.
00:32:25
>> It's It's good in a bind, but um I I
00:32:27
want to try Panda in.
00:32:29
>> Let's go. I'd love to go. Is it still
00:32:30
open?
00:32:31
>> Is there an original McDonald's?
00:32:33
>> Yeah.
00:32:33
>> Yeah.
00:32:34
>> Yeah.
00:32:34
>> Yeah.
00:32:35
>> It's here in California.
00:32:37
>> Yeah, this is open.
00:32:38
>> Let's go to it.
00:32:39
>> We should try Panda in
00:32:40
>> the first the first McDonald's is in San
00:32:42
Bernardino.
00:32:43
>> Are you being real?
00:32:44
>> Yes.
00:32:45
>> And it's still there.
00:32:46
>> I do not know if it's still there. I
00:32:47
think it's a museum now.
00:32:50
>> And then the first chain, of course, was
00:32:52
in uh Illinois. That's where our boy Ray
00:32:55
Croc stole the idea, took it, and we
00:32:58
went there as a on a field trip as kids.
00:33:00
>> Yeah. You know what? I'm obsessed with
00:33:01
novelty architecture.
00:33:03
>> Love novelty architecture.
00:33:05
>> You know what novelty architecture is?
00:33:08
>> Yeah.
00:33:08
>> What is it? McCullen.
00:33:10
>> Uh, architecture that's kind of silly or
00:33:12
out of the ordinary. It's for the fun of
00:33:13
it and the love of it.
00:33:14
>> Isn't that fun? Like Ry's Donuts is one.
00:33:16
>> Look at that. That's so funny. They had
00:33:17
Idol or that bar in North Hollywood.
00:33:18
I've been to that bar.
00:33:19
>> This one? Yeah.
00:33:20
>> What is that?
00:33:20
>> It's It's a bar on Lanership.
00:33:22
>> Oh. Are those barrels?
00:33:23
>> Yeah. I love it.
00:33:24
>> And you go sit in the barrels.
00:33:25
>> Wow.
00:33:26
>> But then when beer starts filling up in
00:33:28
there, it gets scary.
00:33:30
>> I mean, that's a Yeah,
00:33:32
>> another one. I know.
00:33:33
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:33:34
>> There it is.
00:33:34
>> Yeah.
00:33:35
>> Whoa.
00:33:36
>> But, you know, it's like, you know, how
00:33:37
some like you go to cities all over the
00:33:40
country now and they all look the same.
00:33:42
>> Why can't we like, you know, express
00:33:45
ourselves in different ways
00:33:47
architecture- wise? I mean, in terms is
00:33:48
that money? No, we're going. No, the
00:33:50
problem is we're going backwards because
00:33:52
what happens is people want stuff that
00:33:54
looks nice and new, but in in fact it
00:33:56
actually is just cheaper and poorly
00:33:58
built. But they like the idea because
00:34:01
Okay. Like the all these [ __ ]
00:34:03
apartment complexes going up.
00:34:04
>> Yeah.
00:34:04
>> They all look the same.
00:34:05
>> Exact. Yeah.
00:34:06
>> Because people want new, right? If they
00:34:08
say, "I can't afford a [ __ ] house,
00:34:10
but I want a nice apartment. I want
00:34:11
something nice and new. I want a new
00:34:12
build. I want no one to live in it." But
00:34:14
the problem is they throw these things
00:34:15
up. They c they they they do it with the
00:34:18
cheapest materials possible and they
00:34:20
built them so shanty like but people
00:34:21
want the image of nice and new from the
00:34:23
outside. Yeah. That's why the whole city
00:34:25
of [ __ ] LA looks like that.
00:34:26
>> Yes. It's fake luxury.
00:34:27
>> It's it's a bummer and it's taking over.
00:34:29
>> And if you look at like um the colors of
00:34:31
cars that we have today versus in the
00:34:33
70s. It's like what happened to those
00:34:34
fun colors?
00:34:35
>> Well, here's the problem now. As a car
00:34:37
guy, it's paint to sample now because
00:34:39
they don't sell as well. And their a car
00:34:41
company's main goal is to sell as many.
00:34:44
It's volume at the highest level. It's
00:34:46
just sell a billion [ __ ] cars. They
00:34:49
don't give a [ __ ] They're made of
00:34:50
plastic. Get rid of That's why leasing
00:34:52
started. They were like, "Here, we'll
00:34:53
get it back and then we'll just sell it
00:34:55
at a huge discount." That because the
00:34:57
highest colors of cars that sell are
00:34:58
like white, black, and gray. And so
00:35:01
they're like, "Fuck it. We won't make
00:35:02
any other colors."
00:35:03
>> God, it's just made our society and our
00:35:06
culture look. It sucks.
00:35:08
>> All of it.
00:35:09
>> So now you have to paint a sample. You
00:35:10
want a special color? You have to order
00:35:11
a color of a car. It costs more money.
00:35:13
Yeah. Like look look
00:35:15
>> 1970 the aero the top selling cars were
00:35:17
avocado green, harvest yellow, earthy
00:35:19
brown, burnt orange.
00:35:20
>> Wow.
00:35:21
>> Beautiful.
00:35:22
>> Beautiful. Fun.
00:35:23
>> I [ __ ] with a burnt orange. That's such
00:35:24
a sexy color on an old car.
00:35:27
>> And what's today now? Is that today?
00:35:28
>> Yeah.
00:35:29
>> White is 38, black is 19, gray is 15.
00:35:31
Those are the highest that I set.
00:35:32
>> Oh my god.
00:35:33
>> Silver and blue are nine and seven. Red
00:35:35
is five. It doesn't even happen anymore
00:35:37
unless it's Ferrari.
00:35:38
>> Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.
00:35:39
>> Yellow.
00:35:39
>> It's incredible what happened.
00:35:41
>> Well, let me be honest. Yellow is the
00:35:42
[ __ ] yellow stinks.
00:35:43
>> Yeah, yellow's weird. Hard.
00:35:45
>> Yellow in a car is not it.
00:35:46
>> It's hard. Yeah. Yeah.
00:35:47
>> It's not It doesn't do it for me.
00:35:48
>> Midnight purple would be fun. Ooh.
00:35:51
>> Hello.
00:35:51
>> Is that the nickname for your penis?
00:35:53
>> Yeah. Midnight purple, dude. Yeah.
00:35:57
>> Hey, dude.
00:35:58
>> Midnight purple.
00:35:58
>> This. What's the opposite of this?
00:36:03
>> That's it. Dude,
00:36:04
>> what's the color of your car? What is
00:36:06
that color called? It's like baby.
00:36:07
>> That's why I like it. It's like It's
00:36:09
like a a a soft baby blue. Soft baby
00:36:11
blue.
00:36:12
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:36:12
>> Not a hard baby blue.
00:36:14
>> It's like that.
00:36:15
>> Yeah.
00:36:16
>> It's exactly right. It's like a It's
00:36:17
like a card. It's like Yeah. It's like
00:36:19
this. Well,
00:36:20
>> kind of. I guess. Right.
00:36:21
>> A little lighter than that. A little
00:36:22
lighter than that.
00:36:23
>> Houston oiler blue. The kid goes right
00:36:24
to Texas stuff.
00:36:25
>> Yeah.
00:36:25
>> That's what I see when I see his car.
00:36:27
>> When are you going to move to Texas? The
00:36:28
rumor is you're moving to Texas.
00:36:30
>> No.
00:36:30
>> Everyone on the street's talking about
00:36:31
it.
00:36:32
>> No, I'm not leaving LA.
00:36:33
>> Everybody says, Do you know this? People
00:36:35
around LA are saying he's going back.
00:36:36
He's going to Austin.
00:36:37
>> Oh, no.
00:36:37
>> He keeps going there. He's looking for a
00:36:39
place to live. I already have a place
00:36:40
over.
00:36:41
>> Oh, Spaghettio.
00:36:42
>> You have a You own a place in Austin?
00:36:44
>> My sister and I do.
00:36:45
>> Oh,
00:36:45
>> really? Where is it?
00:36:47
>> Uh, South Congress. It's like in the
00:36:49
Yeah,
00:36:50
>> by one of those boot shops.
00:36:51
>> No, it's actually like by like a Verizon
00:36:54
store. It's like a random neighborhood.
00:36:56
>> You know that on South Congress? That
00:36:57
was the funniest neighborhood back in
00:36:58
the day. I used to love going down
00:36:59
there. And now it's a Lululemon and a
00:37:00
[ __ ] Soul Cycle and a
00:37:02
>> Right.
00:37:03
>> So House.
00:37:03
>> So House and Earth Bar.
00:37:06
>> It's just It's here. It's California
00:37:07
now. I like that strip in Austin where
00:37:09
they have that pizza place. What's it
00:37:10
called?
00:37:11
>> By right across the grocery store from
00:37:12
the booth. We went. I know. It's so
00:37:14
good.
00:37:14
>> What is it [ __ ] called?
00:37:15
>> I don't know. I love that place.
00:37:16
>> Why can't I think of the name? Home
00:37:18
Slice.
00:37:18
>> Home Slice. Yeah, that place was [ __ ]
00:37:20
good.
00:37:20
>> Slice.
00:37:20
>> Yeah, it's a good good slice of pizza.
00:37:22
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:37:23
>> Talk space.
00:37:24
>> You know, you know, I do therapy every
00:37:25
week. Same.
00:37:26
>> And uh Talkspace has uh saved my life
00:37:29
because um you know, you need to release
00:37:33
the demons.
00:37:33
>> You got to release, man. And um you know
00:37:35
I had a lot of trauma growing up and um
00:37:37
you know using EMDR and other methods
00:37:40
through talkspace has really um relieved
00:37:43
and taken some of the burden off my
00:37:44
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00:37:46
>> that's because talkspace is the number
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00:38:08
>> Let's be honest, okay? It's always nice
00:38:10
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00:38:13
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You saved a lot more thanks to Rocket
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>> Hundreds of dollars wasted.
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One more time.
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>> Rocketmoney.com/badfriends.
00:41:02
You you keep the troops in line, these
00:41:04
boys.
00:41:04
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:41:05
>> Yeah.
00:41:06
>> You don't do that with your crew?
00:41:07
>> They're all subject to NDAs. So, I have
00:41:11
uh
00:41:11
>> [ __ ] We never made these guys sign NDAs
00:41:14
for the tour.
00:41:14
>> These guys.
00:41:15
>> Too late.
00:41:16
>> Mone has one.
00:41:18
>> Yeah. Adam, they could ruin our careers.
00:41:21
>> Yeah. Once we get a career, they could
00:41:22
[ __ ] bury us.
00:41:23
>> I'm actually here uh to get them to
00:41:25
unionize. I'm trying to take down all of
00:41:27
the podcast. Yeah.
00:41:30
>> Haha. Very funny, right guys?
00:41:32
>> I'm funny.
00:41:33
>> Dude, you guys deserve to own the means
00:41:36
of production.
00:41:36
>> Totally. We've been saying that for six
00:41:38
years.
00:41:38
>> Yeah, it's a it's a
00:41:40
>> This is a republic, man. This is not
00:41:42
>> This is a Republic.
00:41:43
>> Yeah, this is a Republic,
00:41:44
>> dude. I know, dude.
00:41:46
>> This this podcast Burbank is, too.
00:41:49
>> How far is Jay Leno's cars?
00:41:51
>> He lives upstairs.
00:41:52
>> He does.
00:41:52
>> Yeah, he'll come down in the middle of
00:41:54
this.
00:41:55
>> How is he okay? He just keeps like uh
00:41:56
getting into slapstick style kind of uh
00:41:59
accidents.
00:42:00
He's I think he's doing a lot of Pratt
00:42:03
falling.
00:42:03
>> I think there's
00:42:04
>> the video of him the video of him where
00:42:06
he's like I'm fine and then he gets in
00:42:08
the car. That one is just
00:42:09
>> he like he just fell down.
00:42:11
>> Well, where he hits the fire hydrant
00:42:13
where he's like
00:42:15
I mean he's a colleague so and a friend.
00:42:17
I mean like I I'm not This is
00:42:21
Yeah. The
00:42:23
burn accident like Oh my god. He's I
00:42:27
hope he's okay. I think he's got to be
00:42:29
okay, man. He's still doing car shows
00:42:30
every week.
00:42:31
>> Burn accident.
00:42:32
>> How many?
00:42:33
>> Horrific garage accident. This man death
00:42:36
follows him everywhere he goes.
00:42:38
>> He's like in the movie Final
00:42:39
Destination.
00:42:42
>> Do you know him?
00:42:43
>> Yeah. Brand new face.
00:42:44
>> Adam, do you know him?
00:42:45
>> Jay?
00:42:45
>> Yeah.
00:42:46
>> Oh, yeah. Yeah.
00:42:48
>> What?
00:42:49
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:42:49
>> You guys served in Vietnam together?
00:42:51
>> Well, it's a we uh there's like, you
00:42:54
know, like the Harvard club.
00:42:56
Yeah. It's like, but it's like for talk
00:42:58
show host.
00:42:58
>> Oh, talk show.
00:42:59
>> So, it's me, Leno, uh
00:43:02
>> what's uh
00:43:04
>> Bill Maher?
00:43:05
>> Kelsey Lately,
00:43:07
>> uh yeah, the one uh who else? I don't
00:43:10
know.
00:43:10
>> Jimmy Fallon.
00:43:11
>> Jimmy Fallon. Uh that British guy that
00:43:13
no one likes.
00:43:14
>> Cordon. I mean, sorry. He's a friend.
00:43:17
>> Are you guys Are your boys with him?
00:43:19
Bobby, you're boys with him.
00:43:20
>> He produced something I was in.
00:43:21
>> What did he produce?
00:43:22
>> That game show I did. Terrible.
00:43:25
>> What was it called? How to be a fatso
00:43:26
from England.
00:43:29
>> Apparently he's terrible to uh like in a
00:43:32
restaurant.
00:43:33
>> Well, the rumor was Balthazar.
00:43:35
>> He was like a [ __ ]
00:43:36
>> Yeah. Yeah. What's his name? Uh uh the
00:43:38
who's the restaurant tour that owns
00:43:40
Balthazar? Uh
00:43:41
>> Andreas.
00:43:42
>> What? Not Jose Andreas, you [ __ ]
00:43:44
idiot.
00:43:45
>> I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
00:43:46
>> No. No. No. No. No. You guys are
00:43:47
inspiring me to talk to these idiots.
00:43:49
>> Keith McN. Keith.
00:43:51
>> Keith McN. Yeah. Yeah. He wrote that
00:43:52
post.
00:43:52
>> You blushed.
00:43:54
You blush.
00:43:55
>> I'm used to get the just from one side.
00:43:57
>> YOU DON'T EVER BLUSH. MAN UP. YOU YOU
00:44:00
REPRESENT BAD FRIENDS. DON'T BLUSH.
00:44:02
YOU'RE RIGHT. WHY? That's nice. Yeah.
00:44:05
Don't act like a [ __ ] dude.
00:44:06
>> Stop. Don't talk to him that way.
00:44:08
>> Hey, [ __ ] you. Adam Fmon.
00:44:12
>> No, guys.
00:44:13
>> He's Jamaican. Adam,
00:44:15
>> it's a complete honor and a privilege to
00:44:16
be really.
00:44:18
>> Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I'm here. I'm here uh
00:44:21
in Los Angeles just visiting and this is
00:44:24
this is one of the stops I'm making.
00:44:25
>> What are you doing in LA?
00:44:27
>> Yeah.
00:44:27
>> Um
00:44:27
>> you hate LA.
00:44:29
>> I don't No, no. I don't hate LA.
00:44:30
>> Don't do that.
00:44:31
>> No, no. I'm not. No, no, no, no, no, no,
00:44:33
no. I like LA. It's It's gorgeous. Yeah,
00:44:35
I'm from here. I was born here.
00:44:37
>> Yeah, but you're a New York guy.
00:44:39
>> Yeah, I'm a New York guy.
00:44:40
>> You're a New York guy.
00:44:41
>> Yeah. Yeah. CL I mean I'm just Jewish
00:44:43
and wearing glass.
00:44:44
>> That's what I meant.
00:44:44
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:44:46
>> We like We like to keep you guys over
00:44:47
there. They're Jews in LA.
00:44:49
>> I know. But here they're there. We keep
00:44:50
them in order. We keep them
00:44:51
>> where? The Pico Robertson era area.
00:44:54
>> There or Century City or Beverly Hills?
00:44:56
>> Fairfax. South Beverly Hills. South
00:44:58
Fairfax.
00:44:58
>> Do you like have a wall around the the
00:45:01
>> They wouldn't let us sort of Warsaw get
00:45:04
I think it's pretty popular to be I Who
00:45:06
do you think runs the industry that we
00:45:07
work in?
00:45:08
>> Chinese people.
00:45:09
>> Yeah. No, that's not true at all.
00:45:11
>> Seriously?
00:45:11
>> No. No. No. No.
00:45:12
>> You don't think the Chinese run us?
00:45:13
>> No. No. the I I do I on stage I I do a
00:45:17
joke about if they how they have to not
00:45:20
take it from the Jews Hollywood and if
00:45:22
they did you know Bobby they would make
00:45:26
like what going to work one going to
00:45:27
work two and stuff the Chinese
00:45:31
>> it would be terrible
00:45:32
>> these movies
00:45:33
>> I'm just saying if they ran it instead
00:45:35
of the juice
00:45:36
>> packed a train is a good movie
00:45:37
>> yeah it would be called yeah
00:45:40
>> we don't know how to wait in line do you
00:45:42
ever think about what it's like just
00:45:43
there
00:45:44
>> in China.
00:45:45
>> Yeah.
00:45:45
>> Yeah. I haven't been. Have you been?
00:45:46
>> No, but it's just what for like 60 years
00:45:49
they're just going like
00:45:52
>> Yep.
00:45:52
>> Is that dynamite?
00:45:53
>> No. I'm just like assembly line. That's
00:45:57
>> He would be the worst at assembly.
00:45:58
That's how slow he goes.
00:46:00
>> Yeah. Fire.
00:46:01
>> I'd be terrible at being Chinese. I be
00:46:03
I'd be one of the worst Chinese
00:46:04
imaginable.
00:46:05
>> The little American kids get easy.
00:46:07
>> Their whole life they're just this.
00:46:09
>> That's what they get. That's what they
00:46:10
get.
00:46:10
>> Imagine. And I have a I have a I have my
00:46:13
own uh YouTube Jewish style long form
00:46:16
interview talk show and I complain. Look
00:46:18
at this. This is way This is terrible.
00:46:20
>> She loves it.
00:46:22
>> She loves it.
00:46:22
>> Also, what are they dreaming? What are
00:46:24
they thinking?
00:46:24
>> Are they [ __ ]
00:46:25
>> They're going to the club and [ __ ]
00:46:26
really quick.
00:46:27
>> How do they get drunk
00:46:29
>> at work?
00:46:30
>> Yeah.
00:46:30
>> No, they're not getting No, they're
00:46:31
they're not allowed to go to the
00:46:32
bathroom at work. They have to poop
00:46:34
their pants. They have to
00:46:36
>> I just think Yeah. What What's What do
00:46:38
they do for fun over there? It just it
00:46:41
feels so foreign.
00:46:42
>> Okay, we're we're working in a factory,
00:46:43
Adam. Okay, I'm not going to work in a
00:46:45
factory.
00:46:45
>> No, let's do a scenario.
00:46:47
>> Yeah, go ahead. Oh my god, that was a
00:46:50
tough you. Hey, Cha Chong.
00:46:52
>> Hey, what's up? That's racist.
00:46:53
>> Oh, holy [ __ ] I like the way you talk.
00:46:56
>> Oh yeah, I just I spent some time in
00:46:58
America.
00:46:58
>> We have to be back here in 2 hour. What
00:47:00
do we do? You don't get
00:47:01
>> Do we sleep, eat, sleep, eat, or party?
00:47:03
>> You don't get two hours. you there's a a
00:47:06
suicide net if you want to jump off the
00:47:08
roof and then you have to go back and
00:47:09
make more iPhones.
00:47:10
>> Have you jumped into the net yet?
00:47:11
>> No. Trron.
00:47:13
>> Yeah.
00:47:13
>> Oh wow.
00:47:14
>> You got to jump. It's a little bouncy.
00:47:15
There it is. I've been in that net.
00:47:17
>> Dude, that's so crazy.
00:47:19
>> What is What do What do they do after
00:47:20
work? Yeah. What do they do after work?
00:47:22
>> They go home.
00:47:23
>> Are they watching Mandalorian?
00:47:24
>> Yeah.
00:47:25
>> What do they do?
00:47:27
>> They eat. They eat.
00:47:28
>> They eat and they go to bed immediately.
00:47:30
They go to bed cuz they got to be up in
00:47:31
three more hours.
00:47:32
>> There's no TV.
00:47:33
>> It's a tough life. Well, I'm glad
00:47:34
there's no TV because the TV sucks.
00:47:36
They're smart to not have TV.
00:47:38
>> TV is awesome. You get to They have
00:47:40
sports games.
00:47:41
>> Yeah, sports TV is different, but TV
00:47:44
shows like name a TV show you like.
00:47:47
>> Sopranos
00:47:48
>> that's on right now that is a current
00:47:50
show.
00:47:51
>> Uh, inside the NBA.
00:47:53
>> Yeah. See
00:47:55
>> non-sports shows.
00:47:56
>> What's a good show right now?
00:47:58
>> I don't know.
00:47:59
>> See,
00:47:59
>> and just like that. [ __ ] you. I like
00:48:02
I've seen every episode. I've seen every
00:48:03
episode. I've seen EVERY EPISODE.
00:48:04
>> WHY? CUZ I'M NOT A good actor.
00:48:06
>> No, I thought you were great.
00:48:07
>> You know, Sarah Jessica was on my show,
00:48:09
actually.
00:48:09
>> I love her.
00:48:10
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:48:10
>> Don't She's so nice and all.
00:48:11
>> She's awesome. She's awesome.
00:48:13
>> She's the president of Girls.
00:48:14
>> Yeah.
00:48:14
>> Who's your Who's your white whale for
00:48:16
your show?
00:48:17
>> Uh Amy Schumer, probably. Or
00:48:20
>> uh white for the show? I don't know. She
00:48:23
like Amy Schumer. What? I've never met
00:48:24
her. Oh. Oh. Mojaba.
00:48:33
Oh,
00:48:39
come on. We love her. We're just having
00:48:40
Come on.
00:48:41
>> Yeah. Is she nice?
00:48:42
>> Is she nice?
00:48:43
>> Yeah.
00:48:43
>> Well, yeah. I see her at the meetings.
00:48:45
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:48:47
>> She's like, I'm Chuck Shimmer's niece.
00:48:50
>> Yeah. She says that to me. I'm like, I'm
00:48:52
supposed to be impressed by
00:48:54
>> Whose niece are you?
00:48:55
>> Whose niece am I?
00:48:57
>> BB Netanyahu.
00:48:58
>> Hell yeah.
00:48:59
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:49:00
>> Yeah. Yeah. You got to be somebody's
00:49:02
somebody has a piece of
00:49:03
>> Oh, no. I I've gotten none of the
00:49:05
advantages of uh
00:49:06
>> You have no Nepo [ __ ]
00:49:08
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No.
00:49:08
>> Waste of time.
00:49:09
>> I know. It sucks.
00:49:10
>> Get out of this business.
00:49:11
>> That's what my parents told me the the
00:49:13
night before I moved to New York.
00:49:14
>> Well, don't listen to those Jews. I
00:49:15
mean, but honestly,
00:49:16
>> no. I mean, like seriously, like they
00:49:18
were like, "We don't know anyone in the
00:49:20
uh in the entertainment industry."
00:49:21
>> But as as good as you are, as funny as
00:49:23
you are, as talented as you are, to not
00:49:25
have anything to help you out stinks.
00:49:27
>> Nick Mullen pretty much. That's the only
00:49:29
and he's an anti-semite. I mean, it's
00:49:31
ironic. Yeah. Like it's pretty much the
00:49:33
only person that's ever
00:49:36
>> like uh No. Yeah. I remember like I
00:49:40
thought cuz uh I started in DC and I was
00:49:42
like I was like the glasses Jewish guy
00:49:45
in like the local scene and then I moved
00:49:48
to New York and I told my parents I was
00:49:49
like they're like we don't have any
00:49:50
connections in show business. You're
00:49:52
going to fail. You're an idiot. And then
00:49:53
I moved to New York and there were like
00:49:55
there were probably 2,000
00:49:58
guys named Adam Freeland. Literally Adam
00:50:00
Freel like just me.
00:50:01
>> Jews.
00:50:02
>> Yeah. There's nothing special about me
00:50:03
whatsoever. Yeah. Yes, there is.
00:50:05
>> To do standup, you know.
00:50:06
>> You know, there's something special.
00:50:07
>> There's something very special about
00:50:08
you.
00:50:09
>> Oh, I have a I have a little secret.
00:50:16
>> I'll never tell. Uh, no.
00:50:18
>> Where were you born in the city? Where
00:50:19
were you born?
00:50:19
>> Santa Monica.
00:50:20
>> You were born in the west.
00:50:21
>> I'm on the Wikipedia.
00:50:21
>> The west side. Uh yeah. Uh I'm on the
00:50:24
Wikipedia St. John's Hospital.
00:50:26
>> Are you really? Yeah. One of the most
00:50:27
famous guys born there.
00:50:28
>> Well, Marisa Marisa Hargate.
00:50:31
>> Marishka Hargatee. Big fans of her at
00:50:33
this show.
00:50:33
>> She she was uh she's on the list next to
00:50:35
me. Notable patients.
00:50:37
>> It's not not cool when you guys make
00:50:39
lists, but this one's good.
00:50:41
>> Is this Wikipedia?
00:50:42
>> Freedelland is
00:50:43
>> who writes it. Can you you can check out
00:50:45
like WHAT
00:50:46
>> HE'S THE FORMER
00:50:47
>> fiance of podcaster Dasha. Oh yeah. is
00:50:51
currently engaged to
00:50:52
>> Wait, no. Come on. Don't
00:50:54
>> How does this know this?
00:50:55
>> She gets mad that
00:50:56
>> Well, did you put this out there?
00:50:58
>> No. No. Look at the editors. You can
00:50:59
check. Oh god, guys. This is This was
00:51:02
terrible for me.
00:51:03
>> Hot.
00:51:04
>> Hot.
00:51:05
>> I was When I did the photo shoot for
00:51:07
that article they did.
00:51:08
>> Comedy Central presents.
00:51:11
>> Taking it easy.
00:51:12
>> Shane text me. He was like, "It's
00:51:13
actually making me so mad how gay this
00:51:15
is."
00:51:16
>> That's a cool photo, D.
00:51:17
>> That's a cool photo, Dad.
00:51:18
>> And I love those chairs that you have on
00:51:19
your show.
00:51:20
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, no, but I was on
00:51:22
the chair. They asked me to do like or
00:51:23
on the floor and I was like, "Can can
00:51:25
you not use these?" I like stopped in
00:51:27
the middle of it and they used it as the
00:51:28
main picture. And every comics group
00:51:30
chat was like, "Fuck this guy." Uh,
00:51:34
yeah, that's cute. And also like look at
00:51:37
my cheeks. They like airbrushed me.
00:51:39
Disgusting.
00:51:40
>> What do you mean they airbrushed you?
00:51:41
>> Like look at that. I I mean I have acne
00:51:43
scarring. They got rid of
00:51:45
>> Yeah.
00:51:46
>> Good though. My They can never get rid
00:51:47
of mine. I have this big chunk here.
00:51:49
They can't. Even if they try, they're
00:51:50
like, "It gets
00:51:51
>> Were you Accutane?"
00:51:52
>> Yo, yeah, dude.
00:51:53
>> Yeah, me too.
00:51:53
>> 100%.
00:51:54
>> Me, too.
00:51:54
>> Twice.
00:51:55
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:51:55
>> How much uh how much Rage Against the
00:51:57
Machine do you listen to when you're on
00:51:58
Accutane?
00:51:59
>> Literally, that's all I would listen to.
00:52:04
>> [ __ ] YOU, DAD.
00:52:06
>> IT MAKES YOU AGGRESSIVE.
00:52:07
>> UH, it makes you crazy.
00:52:08
>> It makes you kind of crazy. It makes you
00:52:10
a little manic.
00:52:11
>> Yeah. I took it my senior year and I was
00:52:13
doing my college essays and uh
00:52:15
>> Did you pick at your acne? Is that why
00:52:17
they're scarring? No, this was because a
00:52:18
group would it would group and then and
00:52:20
then
00:52:20
>> we had cystic ac cystic acne.
00:52:22
>> So it would layer it.
00:52:24
>> But what's the cause of that kind of
00:52:25
acne?
00:52:26
>> Asian people probably in my proximity.
00:52:29
>> The more of you that were around
00:52:30
>> really. You grew up around Asian people.
00:52:32
>> They were everywhere these people. You
00:52:34
can't get rid of them.
00:52:35
>> I grew up uh in Vegas actually.
00:52:37
>> A lot of this is from
00:52:38
>> there were a lot of Filipinos.
00:52:39
>> You like that? You like them?
00:52:40
>> I love I love them too.
00:52:42
>> Those are good.
00:52:43
>> They're the best ones. They're the good.
00:52:45
>> They're the second best people. What's
00:52:47
the first?
00:52:47
>> Mexican.
00:52:48
>> I love Mexican.
00:52:49
>> Yeah. Third.
00:52:51
>> What's mine?
00:52:51
>> Yeah.
00:52:52
>> Yeah. Um,
00:52:53
>> what's your rank power ranking races?
00:52:55
>> Oh,
00:52:55
>> we should do We're like Bill Simmons.
00:52:57
>> Okay. I I could do my Asian list.
00:52:59
>> Yeah. Yeah. What's your list?
00:52:59
>> Do you have an Asian list?
00:53:00
>> No, no, not not Asians. Just every kind
00:53:02
of person.
00:53:03
>> Every kind of person.
00:53:03
>> Also, I cut off an injury.
00:53:05
>> Okay.
00:53:06
>> Okay.
00:53:06
>> This was good.
00:53:08
>> Um, yeah. Top three races.
00:53:11
>> Can I say fat whites?
00:53:13
>> Fat whites is up there. Some of the
00:53:15
worst people. No, I love fight white cuz
00:53:16
they're nice to me.
00:53:17
>> No,
00:53:17
>> good-looking whites are not as nice.
00:53:19
True.
00:53:20
>> The guys are good.
00:53:20
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, let's go. No.
00:53:23
Korean.
00:53:24
>> Korean's the best race for you.
00:53:25
>> Number one.
00:53:25
>> Well, I'm Korean. I have to say that.
00:53:27
>> Okay. Yeah. Yeah.
00:53:28
>> I wouldn't put you
00:53:30
top 25.
00:53:31
>> Okay. Number two, Filipinos.
00:53:32
>> Yeah.
00:53:33
>> Yeah. Three, Mexicans.
00:53:34
>> Mhm.
00:53:35
>> Yeah. Four, any kind of black.
00:53:39
>> Any kind.
00:53:39
>> Even like Minnesota.
00:53:41
>> Yeah. I like Minnesota. The Chappelle
00:53:43
Lacy's of blacks. I like that guy. He's
00:53:44
good. I mean, hey guys, I'm going to do
00:53:46
an ali.
00:53:46
>> Yeah, right.
00:53:47
>> Yeah.
00:53:48
>> Who's that?
00:53:49
>> You know how some black um black people?
00:53:52
>> Let's hear it.
00:53:53
>> Well, you know the I like Bugazi and I
00:53:56
like the Ali.
00:53:57
>> No.
00:53:58
>> You know how they
00:53:59
>> He likes black guys that like metal.
00:54:01
>> Oh, like all black guys.
00:54:03
>> Yeah. Yeah. All black guys. Yeah. Yeah.
00:54:04
>> You have you ever met vampire Mexicans?
00:54:07
>> Oh, yeah. I love that.
00:54:07
>> In El Paso, you go El Paso, Texas. You
00:54:09
know, they got them here. They like
00:54:11
Marsa. They like
00:54:12
>> Dallas. Yeah. Yes.
00:54:15
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I like
00:54:16
those. Yeah. Yeah.
00:54:17
>> What's that?
00:54:18
>> Goth black.
00:54:19
>> Black guys. Like goth music is
00:54:20
>> Yeah. I love goth blacks.
00:54:21
>> Goth blacks are cool.
00:54:22
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Look at Oh my
00:54:24
god. They're my favorite.
00:54:26
>> Look like I know Trinity.
00:54:28
>> It's crazy because they always sound
00:54:30
like they're from California, even if
00:54:32
they're not.
00:54:32
>> Morph Morpheus style. Yeah. Morphe style
00:54:34
guys.
00:54:35
>> Yeah. Yeah. Those are my favorite.
00:54:36
>> Yeah. Yeah. As they try to go super
00:54:38
saiyan, they think it's a real thing.
00:54:41
>> Yeah. Those guys. Yeah. That's cool.
00:54:42
Yeah. Yeah. At my shows wearing
00:54:45
sunglasses in the audience.
00:54:46
>> Yeah.
00:54:47
>> You know what I mean? Like a like a
00:54:48
snake dark purple jacket.
00:54:51
>> Yeah. I like that. No shirt.
00:54:52
>> Yeah. No shirt.
00:54:54
>> Yeah. Shirtless.
00:54:55
>> Yeah.
00:54:55
>> Yeah.
00:54:55
>> A tattoo of some sort of number.
00:54:57
>> Punk. Punk. Is this punk Mexican?
00:54:59
>> Punk Mexicans are great.
00:55:00
>> Oh, I love that.
00:55:00
>> Smith's Mexicans are the best.
00:55:02
>> Yeah. Smith. That is
00:55:04
>> Smith's Mexicans. I grew up with a with
00:55:06
a lot of Mexicans and uh I became like
00:55:10
uh I I earned their respect because I
00:55:12
smoked mot uh I also smoked weed and
00:55:16
they're like oh they Jewish kids they
00:55:17
like they like weed too and I was like
00:55:19
yeah yeah and uh they were like tell me
00:55:22
Adam like you're like a emo and I was
00:55:24
like no I don't know
00:55:26
>> and I was like I was like I like like
00:55:28
radio head and like I don't know I guess
00:55:30
I like music and he's like they're like
00:55:31
you like loitz and I was like yeah I
00:55:34
love the Smiths and uh they're like they
00:55:37
were really into the Smiths but
00:55:38
specifically Morrisy. And I was like and
00:55:40
I was like but I was like it's weird
00:55:42
that you guys are uh into Morrisy
00:55:45
because like you're homophobes you're a
00:55:46
homophobe. And they're like that's a
00:55:48
[ __ ] up thing to say about Morrisy
00:55:50
man. Like they didn't know they didn't
00:55:52
get that he was gay.
00:55:53
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>> Shopify.combadfriends.
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>> Genuinely though, who all jokes aside,
00:59:31
who is the one that you want to get on
00:59:33
there so bad?
00:59:35
>> Uh,
00:59:35
>> there's got to be someone that you're
00:59:36
like, you know, who'd be [ __ ] perfect
00:59:37
for this show that won't do it?
00:59:39
>> Uh, Sydney Sweeney. No cam. Just no. No,
00:59:43
no, just no cameras. No, no condoms. No
00:59:47
cameras.
00:59:48
>> No card, no condom.
00:59:49
>> Uh, I don't know. Obama.
00:59:52
>> That'd be fun. Hey, have you chilled
00:59:54
with him, Bobby?
00:59:54
>> He's He's been here.
00:59:55
>> I just met him. You just met Obama?
00:59:57
>> I did just meet him.
00:59:58
>> What was it like?
00:59:59
>> It's a little annoying.
01:00:00
>> No,
01:00:01
>> no, no, no. It was wonderful. It was
01:00:02
great. It was It was really good.
01:00:04
>> Yeah, he's like magic.
01:00:05
>> Sweet. Such a sweet like uh aphable and
01:00:08
also like disarming. Right as you talk
01:00:10
to him, you're like, "Oh, I feel good.
01:00:11
This is fine."
01:00:11
>> I want to ask him if he's depressed.
01:00:13
>> I did.
01:00:14
>> What? Oh, you did already.
01:00:15
>> Yep. I said, "How do you feel? You look
01:00:17
like you're depressed." No. You know
01:00:18
what it is? I bet you he's
01:00:20
>> Can you imagine what it's like to be
01:00:21
Obama? It's got to suck.
01:00:23
>> Yeah.
01:00:24
>> Why?
01:00:24
>> Cuz all the time. Everything is all the
01:00:26
time and you're the one.
01:00:27
>> He's [ __ ] Neo. It's like
01:00:29
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He is the one. Yeah.
01:00:30
Yeah.
01:00:30
>> You're the one. You're the one. You're
01:00:32
the one for all the good and all for the
01:00:33
bad.
01:00:34
>> Well, no. More so. It's just like
01:00:35
everything everything went crazy after
01:00:38
he was the president.
01:00:39
>> That's what I mean. It's all
01:00:40
>> He's got to be like, is it my fault?
01:00:42
>> Well, 100%.
01:00:42
>> Yeah.
01:00:43
>> Are you doing Yeah, that's that's what
01:00:44
he looked like when I met him.
01:00:45
>> Really?
01:00:46
>> Yeah.
01:00:47
>> Really? That looks a lot like Morpheus
01:00:49
from the uh from the movie The Matrix.
01:00:52
>> Sure. If you're smallminded, but this is
01:00:53
if you really know what's going on in
01:00:54
the world.
01:00:55
>> He probably always has to be nice, too.
01:00:58
>> Uh
01:00:58
>> when he's out in public. Yeah. Yeah.
01:00:59
>> Do you feel like you have to?
01:01:01
>> Yeah, but I don't have that kind of
01:01:02
image.
01:01:03
>> But But
01:01:03
>> you have a bad boy image.
01:01:05
>> Yeah, you do. You think I have a bad boy
01:01:06
image? You do.
01:01:07
>> I'm nice to everybody.
01:01:08
>> NO, I'M NICE TO EVERYBODY.
01:01:10
>> NO. Everyone says like you're
01:01:12
>> I dab.
01:01:12
>> No. You're at the Viper room. Sunset
01:01:14
strip.
01:01:15
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I kiss the sidewalk
01:01:17
where River died.
01:01:18
>> There's a lot of stories I hear about
01:01:20
people.
01:01:20
>> I always do. I'll miss you, River.
01:01:22
>> When someone meets me and they'll go,
01:01:24
you know, I met Bobby when he was in
01:01:25
town or whatever.
01:01:26
>> And I'll go, "Oh, yeah." And they'll go,
01:01:28
"Yeah, he's like threw a fork and like
01:01:30
yelled at the server and we loved it."
01:01:32
>> Yeah. Yeah.
01:01:32
>> They love they they love when he's a
01:01:34
[ __ ] maniac.
01:01:35
>> I'm You know that's not true. You know
01:01:37
that I'm a nice guy.
01:01:39
>> No, but I'm saying you do. You play
01:01:40
>> I don't do that.
01:01:41
>> You play bits with people. You guys You
01:01:42
guys got a pipe up. You do bits and we
01:01:44
know what you [ __ ] do. uh people with
01:01:46
less money than you.
01:01:47
>> Yeah,
01:01:48
>> he does like doing bits with strangers
01:01:50
and then it leaves he likes it's like
01:01:52
his uh what Bill Murray he like he wants
01:01:55
to be Bill Murray. He wants to like
01:01:57
leave a nugget of a do you know what
01:01:58
Bobby did here when he was here loves
01:02:00
that [ __ ]
01:02:01
>> Yeah. He like went to a wedding and
01:02:03
Yeah.
01:02:04
>> You do love that. Don't lie.
01:02:06
>> I guess so. Yeah,
01:02:07
>> you do.
01:02:07
>> You're a rambling man.
01:02:09
>> What?
01:02:10
>> A rambling man.
01:02:11
>> I'm a rambling man.
01:02:15
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Marbo like
01:02:16
marorrow man. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean,
01:02:19
you know,
01:02:19
>> dick hammer. We love
01:02:20
>> you do that kind of thing. You go to
01:02:21
like a random bar mitzvah and you like
01:02:23
Bobby Lee just chilled with us all
01:02:25
night.
01:02:25
>> I would do that. Yeah. Yeah.
01:02:26
>> Yeah. Yeah. That sounds kind of sick
01:02:27
actually. Yeah.
01:02:28
>> Not a bar mitzvah.
01:02:30
>> You wouldn't do a party. He would do it
01:02:32
if he would do it if it's like a uh
01:02:34
>> if it was like a small click somewhere
01:02:37
at a private little thing. He would bust
01:02:39
in on that.
01:02:40
>> Oh, famous people.
01:02:41
>> Oh, he loves that.
01:02:42
>> Oh, I love it.
01:02:43
>> Yeah. Yeah.
01:02:44
>> Yeah. Yeah. Famous.
01:02:45
>> Famous.
01:02:46
>> You want to be famous?
01:02:46
>> Who's the most famous person you have in
01:02:48
your phone?
01:02:49
>> I It's not like him.
01:02:51
>> What?
01:02:51
>> Already? It's not like him. He has way
01:02:53
more.
01:02:53
>> I'm going to ask him next. But yeah,
01:02:55
who's yours?
01:02:56
>> Um,
01:02:58
[ __ ] man. Uh,
01:02:59
>> it's not in my phone. Look.
01:03:03
>> What? Yep. Oh, no.
01:03:05
>> I know. I know. I know.
01:03:08
>> Oh, no. He goes,
01:03:12
>> I know. Oh no. Look at that. Look at
01:03:14
that. Look, look, look at it.
01:03:17
>> What are you doing there, dude? Like,
01:03:19
can you
01:03:20
>> It looks like I was going to point at
01:03:21
something.
01:03:21
>> Yeah. Can you text a pic of me just
01:03:23
going like this?
01:03:26
>> Who is that? Your girlfriend or wife or
01:03:28
>> That's my wife. Yeah.
01:03:29
>> Yeah.
01:03:30
>> Yeah. Who do you have?
01:03:32
>> I don't know. I don't I don't There's no
01:03:33
one I You know, everyone that I know.
01:03:36
>> That's not even Travis Kelce. Do you
01:03:38
have his number?
01:03:39
>> NO.
01:03:42
YOU LYING [ __ ] DO YOU HAVE TRAVIS
01:03:44
KELCE'S NUMBER?
01:03:44
>> NO.
01:03:45
>> You really don't. So, how do you go? How
01:03:46
do you hang out with him?
01:03:47
>> DM.
01:03:48
>> Oh, you DM him on Instagram.
01:03:49
>> Only DM? Oh, no. On on Twitter. We don't
01:03:51
use Instagram.
01:03:52
>> Okay. All right. Only on
01:03:53
>> Who's your most famous?
01:03:55
>> I'm not No one really. Stav
01:03:58
>> our boy Shane. Maybe
01:04:01
>> maybe I don't know. Um,
01:04:03
>> non-comics.
01:04:05
>> You got some people in there. You know,
01:04:07
>> dance.
01:04:08
>> Oh, wow. That's a good one. Yeah. Not
01:04:10
inspired.
01:04:10
>> I'M JAMIE CURTIS. I SAW YOU too much. We
01:04:13
do it too much.
01:04:14
>> Jamie Lee Curtis. Should we text her?
01:04:15
>> Why? Cuz you were in one of those yogurt
01:04:17
commercials with her.
01:04:18
>> No, I did a movie.
01:04:19
>> It's yogurt for your puss.
01:04:20
>> Moving with her.
01:04:22
>> You think she got that to be like the
01:04:24
mean stuff people say about me? I'm
01:04:25
going to do the [ __ ] yogurt commercial.
01:04:28
>> Just go as far as you can. You're like,
01:04:29
I'm going to go all in then. Try to
01:04:31
fight me on this. Yeah.
01:04:32
>> No, he did a movie with it, right?
01:04:33
>> Yeah.
01:04:34
>> Which Freakier Friday? No, it was called
01:04:36
Borderlands. Nobody wanted
01:04:37
>> Borat.
01:04:40
Borderlands. Oh, it's that director Eli
01:04:43
Roth. Oh, no, never mind.
01:04:45
>> Yeah.
01:04:46
>> Um
01:04:47
>> Oh, he's good friends with uh Michael
01:04:50
Bay.
01:04:50
>> MICHAEL.
01:04:52
>> MICHAEL BAY.
01:04:53
>> YEAH. YEAH. YEAH.
01:04:54
>> WHAT?
01:04:55
>> YEAH.
01:04:55
>> Oh my god. Tell Can you say my boy uh
01:04:58
Adam says ambulance was fire? Yeah.
01:05:00
>> I like that movie.
01:05:01
>> Yeah. It's It's like what would happen
01:05:03
if Michael Bay had drones? Finally, HE
01:05:05
HAS DRONES.
01:05:07
THANK GOD HE HAS DRONES NOW.
01:05:09
>> YEAH. YEAH.
01:05:10
>> Oh my god, I love Michael Bay.
01:05:11
>> Text Michael Bay that Adam's here.
01:05:14
>> Yeah.
01:05:14
>> Yeah. Just actually just say Adam's
01:05:16
here. Just Adam. Yeah.
01:05:17
>> It says what up?
01:05:18
>> That's you. That's it. You have No. No
01:05:20
one.
01:05:20
>> I don't really have anybody on my phone.
01:05:22
>> Let me Can I throw some names out?
01:05:24
>> Yeah.
01:05:24
>> Beyond Beyond Baitman.
01:05:27
>> No.
01:05:27
>> You don't have Baitman's number?
01:05:28
>> No.
01:05:29
>> Okay. Charlie Day.
01:05:30
>> No.
01:05:34
>> It's all DMs. Really?
01:05:36
>> All DM.
01:05:37
>> So you send your [ __ ] out all to all
01:05:39
these guys?
01:05:40
>> Just the Just to the dogs. Yeah,
01:05:41
>> just to the dogs. Yeah. During co me and
01:05:43
my friends got addicted to that.
01:05:45
>> Send your dick to the dogs.
01:05:46
>> Just Yeah. In the boys chat like my
01:05:48
friend just, you know, middle of the
01:05:50
lockdown just send his penis. And I was
01:05:52
And he was like, "Yeah, it's he said the
01:05:54
rule was it's gay to send it to girls,
01:05:56
but it's cool if you're sending it to
01:05:57
your friends."
01:05:58
>> And then I said I I eventually played
01:06:00
the game
01:06:01
>> and then uh and then uh he's like,
01:06:04
"You're puffed." And I'm like, "Dude,
01:06:06
no, I'm not puffed." And then he said it
01:06:07
to my girlfriend to be like, "Is this
01:06:09
puffed or is this real?"
01:06:11
>> You were puffed, though, weren't you?
01:06:12
>> I was puffed. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
01:06:14
>> We know when someone's puffed, dude.
01:06:15
>> I wasn't puffed.
01:06:16
>> Well, you know what? Hey, you know what?
01:06:17
Also, post stroke. Post stroke though.
01:06:19
Does that doesn't count as puff?
01:06:21
>> After you have a stroke,
01:06:23
>> poststroke. Post come.
01:06:24
>> Oh, I don't know why I thought it was
01:06:26
like a like
01:06:26
>> No, because after you nut you're on the
01:06:28
come down. So, can you send a come down
01:06:30
photo?
01:06:30
>> Well, that's that's puffed.
01:06:32
>> No, because puff is on the way up. I
01:06:33
think that is the de deflation. The
01:06:35
deeppuff is uh
01:06:36
>> that's not on you. That's
01:06:37
>> how fast do you deflate
01:06:39
>> post?
01:06:40
>> Yeah. How how fast do you deflate?
01:06:42
>> The point is I wanted it to look
01:06:43
beautiful for my friend.
01:06:44
>> Yeah, we got it.
01:06:46
>> But I mean,
01:06:46
>> how quickly
01:06:47
>> how quickly after you nut does it
01:06:49
deflate?
01:06:49
>> It depends on how quick my wife is
01:06:51
coming upstairs.
01:06:52
>> I'm barely hard at this point.
01:06:54
>> Yeah. Yeah.
01:06:54
>> A noodle.
01:06:55
>> Yeah.
01:06:55
>> I don't know. It's pretty fast for me. I
01:06:57
can get it.
01:06:57
>> Three minutes.
01:06:58
>> Full minutes.
01:06:59
>> Yeah. 3 minutes for me. Three minutes of
01:07:01
deflation. Yeah.
01:07:02
>> What are you 13 years old?
01:07:03
>> Yeah.
01:07:04
>> What are you the healthiest man in the
01:07:05
world?
01:07:06
>> No, I use Bluetooth.
01:07:07
>> Oh, shout out to Oh, they don't do us
01:07:10
anymore.
01:07:10
>> They don't?
01:07:11
>> No, they did they did Cometown for a
01:07:13
very long time. Yeah. Yeah, we used to
01:07:15
do make uh irresponsible claims.
01:07:21
>> Are you doing shows in town or No,
01:07:23
>> no, I was just in Seattle uh for the
01:07:25
doing a weekend and now I'm meeting with
01:07:28
some of the most powerful executives in
01:07:29
in the
01:07:30
>> Wait, what clubs up there?
01:07:32
Uh there's a new one. Uh Emerald City.
01:07:36
>> Have you done up there?
01:07:38
>> Seattle. Last time I did it was a club
01:07:40
that closed years ago.
01:07:41
>> Parlor Live. I used to play.
01:07:42
>> Yeah. Parlor.
01:07:43
>> Yeah. Yeah. I play there every year.
01:07:44
>> But that's closed forever.
01:07:45
>> Yeah.
01:07:46
>> This is new. Emerald City.
01:07:47
>> Yeah. It was like It was like nice. It
01:07:49
was Yeah. It was my first weekend after
01:07:50
a year cuz I I took the year off the
01:07:52
road uh to get the talk show up and
01:07:55
running and uh so yeah, so it was like
01:07:57
my first weekend back out. It was so
01:07:59
It's It's actually like uh Yeah. You
01:08:02
know when you're doing stand up all the
01:08:03
time, you hate it.
01:08:04
>> Yeah.
01:08:05
>> Yeah. Yeah. It It really uh I feel like
01:08:07
a young kid again. I feel like a
01:08:09
brideeyed kid again.
01:08:10
>> Wow.
01:08:11
>> Do you bring someone with you?
01:08:12
>> Yeah. I brought my boy Caleb um out on
01:08:15
the road and he has to do anything I
01:08:16
say.
01:08:17
>> Hell yeah.
01:08:17
>> No. No. Uh yeah, I brought my friend
01:08:19
Caleb who also works on the talk show
01:08:20
with me. He's a writer on the talk show
01:08:22
>> and uh Yeah. No, it was like it was
01:08:24
funny remembering how to do an hour.
01:08:27
>> Yeah. Yeah.
01:08:27
>> And then like Yeah. And then you get it
01:08:29
back down and you're like, "Oh, actually
01:08:30
this is a blast again."
01:08:32
>> Yeah. And then uh whatever. Cut all
01:08:35
that.
01:08:38
>> Jesus Christ.
01:08:39
>> Last night I was at the store. I was
01:08:41
about to go up and I just left.
01:08:43
>> Gson's
01:08:45
g
01:08:47
I just looked on stage. I was like, I
01:08:49
don't want to do it.
01:08:50
>> Why?
01:08:50
>> I It was the first time I was ever like
01:08:52
that where I was like, I'm not going to
01:08:53
do it.
01:08:53
>> Are you over it cuz the hour's done?
01:08:55
>> Yeah. I just looked at cuz Sebastian was
01:08:56
up there killing and I was just kind of
01:08:58
like I'm going to go home.
01:09:00
>> You ever suck on a dick?
01:09:02
>> Yeah.
01:09:02
>> Yeah.
01:09:03
>> Just for fun.
01:09:04
>> Who did Who he killed a woman on stage?
01:09:09
>> It would be funny.
01:09:10
>> Let me say you have anxiety. What's
01:09:11
going on here?
01:09:12
>> No, I'm a I'm a I'm a fidgety guy.
01:09:16
>> Yeah,
01:09:18
>> you mentioned man.
01:09:23
>> Adam, do you take anything? Uh, do I
01:09:25
take anything? Yeah. Uh, depression.
01:09:28
Jenum. Yeah.
01:09:29
>> Jenhoff.
01:09:31
>> Crocodile deal. Yeah.
01:09:32
>> No, I don't take anything.
01:09:34
>> I just got on Lexopro.
01:09:35
>> I'm not a whackad.
01:09:36
>> Yeah. Yeah.
01:09:37
>> Have you ever taken anything?
01:09:39
>> [ __ ]
01:09:40
>> Yeah. A lot of [ __ ] when I was in
01:09:41
college.
01:09:42
>> I tried to do uh
01:09:45
>> Oh, man. One of the anti-depressants. I
01:09:48
don't know which one I did.
01:09:49
>> Zoloft.
01:09:50
>> Yeah, one of those.
01:09:51
>> But your your penis doesn't work, right?
01:09:53
No, mine still did.
01:09:54
>> Oh, nice, brother.
01:09:55
>> Yeah, mine still did. It wasn't that. I
01:09:57
felt uh
01:09:58
>> like a woman.
01:09:59
>> I'm depressed.
01:10:02
>> I'm sad about the world.
01:10:03
>> I mean, you're supposed Isn't everyone
01:10:04
depressed?
01:10:06
>> Yeah. Sad that you die, right?
01:10:08
>> What?
01:10:09
>> I mean, I feel like depressed is like
01:10:12
everyone you should everyone should be
01:10:14
depressed, right?
01:10:15
>> Yeah.
01:10:15
>> Varying levels. Yeah. All the time,
01:10:18
though.
01:10:19
>> I mean, it's Yeah. If you're going to
01:10:21
die one day, so that's really sad. Yeah.
01:10:23
>> Yeah. You don't get to be alive after
01:10:24
that.
01:10:24
>> Yeah. I'm on the fence about it. I just
01:10:26
like I am depressed, but it's like I
01:10:28
mean, don't you That's I think that's
01:10:29
what drives
01:10:30
>> Yeah. This thing about That's the thing
01:10:32
about LA comedy. They [ __ ] talk like
01:10:34
there's like women to each other. Not
01:10:36
like in New York.
01:10:38
Not like in New York.
01:10:40
>> You got all those kings of comedy out
01:10:42
there busting down the walls of these
01:10:44
sensitive guys.
01:10:45
>> I I rewatched the King special in
01:10:48
Seattle this weekend. It was my favorite
01:10:50
comedy special as a kid.
01:10:51
>> Oh, Kings of Comedy. Yeah, it's so good.
01:10:53
>> Yeah,
01:10:53
>> it's so funny.
01:10:55
>> It's so good.
01:10:56
>> The [ __ ] Titanic bit is I think it's
01:10:58
the funniest stand up bit of all time.
01:11:00
>> Remember that one? The Steve the Steve
01:11:02
Titanic bit.
01:11:03
>> Uhuh.
01:11:04
>> Oh my god. He's unbelievable. What a
01:11:06
genius.
01:11:06
>> Give it.
01:11:07
>> He did it. Well, it's the same that same
01:11:08
joke about if black people, you know.
01:11:11
Yeah.
01:11:11
>> But do it in his tone.
01:11:13
>> He said,
01:11:15
"I hated that dry ass long ass movie."
01:11:18
And he's like, uh, something about the
01:11:21
little boy that KILLED AT K DROWN THESE
01:11:24
[ __ ] you know. Yeah. So, he
01:11:25
establishes that he doesn't like the
01:11:27
movie Titanic. Yeah.
01:11:28
>> And then he says, uh, uh, you know what?
01:11:31
Uh, you never hear about 3,000 black
01:11:34
people dying at the same time, which is
01:11:36
like, you know, that's a joke. We've,
01:11:38
you know, like, uh, it wouldn't have
01:11:39
been like that it had it been black
01:11:41
people. And he's like, you saw that
01:11:43
movie? The band kept playing as the ship
01:11:45
went down. And he's like, "WHAT KIND OF
01:11:48
BLACK band keeps playing cooling?" The
01:11:51
gang would have been
01:11:54
>> That's funny.
01:11:54
>> Funny.
01:11:55
>> And then and then uh and then he talks
01:11:58
about how he does this act out which is
01:12:01
this really takes it to the next
01:12:03
stratosphere where he has this tiny
01:12:05
little side table and he turns it over
01:12:08
and uh he's like, "I would have been
01:12:10
turning over the damn table." And uh and
01:12:12
then there's a dinner napkin on top and
01:12:14
he's like opening up a dinner napkin and
01:12:17
then he does this thing where he's
01:12:18
blowing on the dinner like like a sail
01:12:20
and he's kicking people.
01:12:22
>> Thank you, Robert.
01:12:22
>> Yeah.
01:12:23
>> Yeah. Are you Robert?
01:12:25
>> Yeah.
01:12:25
>> Robert Lee.
01:12:26
>> Yeah. Call me whatever you want.
01:12:27
>> Okay. I like Robert Lee. It's It makes
01:12:30
you in instantly like a Yeah. Like a
01:12:33
maestro. Robert Lee.
01:12:35
>> A general.
01:12:36
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
01:12:37
>> You have the same name as a as a
01:12:39
general.
01:12:39
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
01:12:40
>> Wow. Yeah.
01:12:41
>> Well, your middle name is uh
01:12:43
>> Young Lee.
01:12:44
>> Yeah.
01:12:44
>> With an E.
01:12:45
>> Why? With a Y.
01:12:46
>> Young Lean.
01:12:48
>> You have the best name of all time.
01:12:50
>> Young Lean.
01:12:51
>> Wow.
01:12:52
>> That song was so good.
01:12:54
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I love Yeah, I love
01:12:56
music.
01:12:57
>> Don't you love Young You love Young
01:12:58
Lean?
01:12:59
>> I think he's he's really cool. Yeah,
01:13:01
>> this kid that this kid's great. [ __ ]
01:13:03
come and go, bro.
01:13:05
>> Yeah. Uh Yeah. This is You know that?
01:13:08
Uh, Robert,
01:13:09
>> he doesn't know that.
01:13:10
>> You don't know.
01:13:11
>> That's a reference that is not going to
01:13:12
go near him.
01:13:12
>> What kind of music do you listen to?
01:13:14
Karaoke.
01:13:16
>> Oh, that Come on, dude.
01:13:17
>> That's good.
01:13:18
>> Stop it.
01:13:18
>> Yeah. Yeah. Why?
01:13:20
>> What?
01:13:20
>> I like it.
01:13:21
>> I like it seeing someone pouring their
01:13:23
heart out.
01:13:23
>> But no, I'm more like, you know, I've
01:13:25
always been more into like, you know,
01:13:27
alty kind of stuff, you know?
01:13:29
>> That's not true.
01:13:30
>> No. What do you mean?
01:13:30
>> You like commercial [ __ ]
01:13:32
>> Like Coldplay.
01:13:34
>> Sure. I love Coldplay.
01:13:35
>> Yeah. First two albums pretty good.
01:13:37
>> Yeah. Yeah. You like commercial [ __ ]
01:13:38
too? You like all of it?
01:13:39
>> I like all of it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
01:13:40
>> I love I love Coldplay.
01:13:42
>> Yeah.
01:13:42
>> Yeah. You have his number?
01:13:44
>> No, I don't.
01:13:45
>> Okay.
01:13:46
>> Um I like um bands like the Pixies and
01:13:49
stuff like that. Yeah. Yeah.
01:13:50
>> Yeah. Bugazi. I like
01:13:52
>> Cool.
01:13:52
>> Sonic Youth.
01:13:53
>> And And what's And what's Andrew more
01:13:55
into?
01:13:56
>> You know, he's into everything.
01:13:59
>> Like he is a true
01:14:00
>> He likes everything.
01:14:01
>> Hip-hop historian.
01:14:02
>> I love hip-hop. You are.
01:14:04
>> Yeah. He knows a little bit of
01:14:05
everything. Big big wig. Big wigger as a
01:14:08
kid.
01:14:08
>> Yeah. Yeah, me too.
01:14:09
>> You're a jazz guy.
01:14:10
>> I like soul.
01:14:11
>> I like I told Jay to kiss uh when he
01:14:14
came on the show.
01:14:15
>> I came out of the closet. I was like, I
01:14:16
feel bad, but I we used to me and Jewish
01:14:18
guys used to we'll lock the door and put
01:14:20
on Mitchell and Ness and just pretend to
01:14:22
be like you. And he was like that. He He
01:14:25
thought it was cool. He He I had to come
01:14:28
clean.
01:14:28
>> Yeah. Why Why would you think he
01:14:29
wouldn't like it though?
01:14:30
>> Uh I mean it's embarrassing. So what?
01:14:32
>> Yeah. Yeah. He'd be like, "Yeah, you're
01:14:34
[ __ ] I I don't know. I have found out
01:14:37
from the from the talk show that rappers
01:14:39
have gotten along with rappers and it it
01:14:41
has made me feel
01:14:42
>> they love comedy. A lot of them do.
01:14:44
>> It's a dream. I mean, it's like it's
01:14:46
like a bar mitzvah or something to find
01:14:47
the the approval of a rapper.
01:14:49
>> Huge. Yeah. I had G Herbo on the show
01:14:51
>> on your show.
01:14:52
>> Yeah. Yeah. And we got along famously
01:14:54
and it was like uh
01:14:56
>> I was like,
01:14:57
>> it's incredible.
01:14:57
>> It's incredible. I mean, he's probably
01:14:59
killed like three maybe.
01:15:01
>> But three is not that bad.
01:15:03
>> Three is not a lot. Five. Five and up.
01:15:04
grew up in like [ __ ] literally
01:15:06
Blackhawk Down. I mean like southside of
01:15:08
Chicago was like
01:15:09
>> toughest part of the world.
01:15:10
>> Yeah.
01:15:10
>> Is this still tough?
01:15:12
>> I mean Yeah.
01:15:13
>> What happens? I mean why is it so tough?
01:15:22
>> What happened?
01:15:23
>> What happened?
01:15:24
>> 13-year-olds have guns.
01:15:25
>> Oh, they do? Yeah.
01:15:26
>> Yeah. Kids have guns.
01:15:27
>> It's like legal, correct me if I'm
01:15:29
wrong. It's legal under a certain line
01:15:31
of demarcation for uh like if you're
01:15:34
you're black if you kill another black
01:15:36
person basically. But like North if you
01:15:38
like uh
01:15:39
>> well the cops aren't going to stop
01:15:40
anything. No one no one's going to break
01:15:42
anything up.
01:15:43
>> They I mean it they should probably
01:15:45
right.
01:15:46
>> No.
01:15:46
>> No.
01:15:46
>> No. You got to let it go.
01:15:47
>> Do you have Lori Lightfoot's number?
01:15:49
>> Yeah. You want to call her?
01:15:51
>> I'm trying to
01:15:52
>> You trying to [ __ ] [ __ ]
01:15:54
>> You have her number? Who's that?
01:15:55
>> [ __ ] no. Lori Lightfoot.
01:15:56
>> Yeah. She's they uh didn't Trump call
01:15:58
her Mayor Crackhead.
01:15:59
>> Mayor Crackhead. Yeah.
01:16:00
>> Yeah. That wasn't very nice.
01:16:01
>> Chicago's homicide rate per capita
01:16:02
significantly higher than New York City
01:16:04
and Los Angeles. Philadelphia being the
01:16:05
closest. Not St. You still not us Philly
01:16:07
>> cuz when I'm in Shamberg I don't I don't
01:16:09
feel it.
01:16:10
>> Not that's not where we're That's not
01:16:12
That's not it.
01:16:12
>> Yeah. Yeah. No, it's crazy there.
01:16:14
>> I just see many malls and
01:16:15
>> Yeah, that's all the malls.
01:16:17
>> Rosemont to
01:16:18
>> No one's going to get clipped out there.
01:16:20
>> Improv. I play the improv. Yeah.
01:16:21
Shamberg. Yeah. So if from the Shamberg
01:16:23
improv, how far do I have to go? Do it's
01:16:25
north south side.
01:16:27
>> It's southeast from there.
01:16:28
>> And it's Shamberg north of Chicago.
01:16:30
>> Shamberg is northwest of Chicago.
01:16:31
>> Northwest. Right. So, how far would I
01:16:33
have to drive down to get the south?
01:16:35
>> Like an hour to get to where you want
01:16:36
>> where I want to go. Yeah. Yeah.
01:16:37
>> You No, you don't want to go.
01:16:38
>> Yeah. But if I step out of the car, if I
01:16:39
go, "Hello, what would happen?"
01:16:41
>> They probably They go, "That's a Bob,
01:16:43
not Mad TV, motherfucker."
01:16:44
>> Mad TV. Mad TV. Mad TV. You'd be good.
01:16:46
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'd be good. You
01:16:48
would?
01:16:48
>> Yeah. Yeah. If I go, "Hello."
01:16:49
>> Then I'd step out and they go, "That's a
01:16:51
[ __ ] that went that dude on Mad
01:16:52
TV."
01:16:52
>> Be like, "Oh, it's Miss Swan is here.
01:16:54
Yeah.
01:16:55
>> Go miss one.
01:16:56
>> Oh, it's the Miss Swan. Yeah. Yeah. No,
01:16:58
they're like, "Oh, he was on." And just
01:17:00
like that, he did the podcast with
01:17:01
Carrie.
01:17:03
>> He was fabulous.
01:17:05
>> Carrie and Jay Diaz.
01:17:08
>> I love I watched the whole thing.
01:17:09
>> I had no idea what was going on on that
01:17:11
show.
01:17:11
>> Wait, you I never read it. I just didn't
01:17:13
know.
01:17:13
>> Wait, you weren't a fan?
01:17:15
>> I had no idea about what it was. Why?
01:17:18
>> Cuz I put in the work. I know all about
01:17:20
it. I know. They called I knew. I mean,
01:17:22
I was called. Have you seen Sex in the
01:17:24
City?
01:17:24
>> Culturally, I know what it is.
01:17:26
>> You culturally?
01:17:27
>> Yeah. Yeah.
01:17:28
>> Yeah. But um
01:17:29
>> No, you look great.
01:17:30
>> That shirt's cool.
01:17:30
>> Did you bring your own war shirt?
01:17:34
>> They made me wear that.
01:17:35
>> And this is what people like you wear,
01:17:37
right?
01:17:37
>> It's like a paparazzi style.
01:17:39
>> It is.
01:17:39
>> That looks like you guys are just out in
01:17:41
LA. The stars are just like us.
01:17:43
>> Yeah.
01:17:43
>> And just like that.
01:17:45
>> And just like that, the stars are like
01:17:46
us.
01:17:47
>> She was very nice. I I uh
01:17:48
>> She's so kind. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah,
01:17:50
>> I I had her on my show and uh and a gay
01:17:53
fella told me that I showed her in a
01:17:55
light that no one has.
01:17:57
>> And if if a gay person says that, they
01:17:59
know this [ __ ]
01:18:00
>> Wow.
01:18:00
>> Yeah, they know this type of [ __ ]
01:18:02
>> What kind of light did you show her in?
01:18:03
>> I as like a her personality in like a
01:18:05
just Yeah. In a genuine way. I tried to
01:18:08
do that on the show. So, it's like a
01:18:10
kind of a sweet. It was a really nice I
01:18:12
mean, if a if a a sodomite, a
01:18:13
homosexual, if a butt pirate says that
01:18:17
to you, what happened to butt pirate?
01:18:20
Butt pirate. That's an insane butt
01:18:23
pirate.
01:18:25
>> But, you know, it was surprisingly like
01:18:26
she was surprisingly kind of down to
01:18:28
earth and
01:18:29
>> Yeah.
01:18:29
>> The experience wasn't like because my my
01:18:32
fear is, oh my god, you know what I
01:18:34
mean? Because if she was rude,
01:18:36
>> then I'd be like, I don't want to do
01:18:37
this. Yeah. You know what I mean? But
01:18:39
it's just like she was pretty cool, you
01:18:41
know? So,
01:18:41
>> yeah. Yeah. Did you rip ass on set?
01:18:46
>> Did you ever rip ass around any
01:18:50
>> What? I asked her. Yeah, we did a thing
01:18:53
where we asked her um I did like fake
01:18:56
questions from like friends and I got
01:18:58
Caleb to leave one of the voicemails and
01:19:00
he's like, "Hey, like um I just want to
01:19:02
address the elephant in the room. Like
01:19:04
was there ever a time where like
01:19:05
Charlotte or Miranda or you just like
01:19:08
farted like really disgustingly like
01:19:10
>> while you're making the show and like
01:19:12
who's your favorite character boyfriend?
01:19:14
>> And she was like she was like I think
01:19:16
that's the one that pushed it a little
01:19:18
too far.
01:19:18
>> Really?
01:19:19
>> She's very proper. Yeah.
01:19:20
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
01:19:21
>> She's like a reader.
01:19:22
>> Did she ever tell you about that?
01:19:24
>> No.
01:19:24
>> No. Well,
01:19:25
>> she likes to read books.
01:19:26
>> You didn't chat with
01:19:26
>> Yeah.
01:19:27
>> What?
01:19:27
>> You never chat with
01:19:28
>> Oh, no. This was You were like sitting.
01:19:30
She's like reading something. You know,
01:19:32
I'm I'm playing a Candy Crush.
01:19:33
>> Really? You didn't You didn't vibe out.
01:19:36
>> Well, we go Good morning.
01:19:37
>> Good morning.
01:19:39
>> Is that something? Yeah. Yeah.
01:19:40
>> Really?
01:19:40
>> Yeah.
01:19:41
>> Oh, you're not making her sound good,
01:19:42
though.
01:19:43
>> Yeah. Yeah. No, I would say and
01:19:44
>> No, she'd be reading. He'd
01:19:45
>> be reading. She's like, "How was your Do
01:19:47
you sleep well?"
01:19:48
>> I go,
01:19:49
>> she asked about your sleep.
01:19:49
>> Good morning.
01:19:50
>> You know, and that kind of
01:19:52
>> good morning is nice. Yeah, that's a
01:19:53
nice thing to say.
01:19:54
>> She'll go, "Have you ever been up to
01:19:56
Sedona or something?"
01:19:57
>> She said that.
01:19:58
>> Yeah. Yeah. I'm like, "No, I've never
01:20:00
been there." I just think it's really
01:20:01
nice this time of year.
01:20:02
>> Did you get Jade on your show from a guy
01:20:04
named Vinnie?
01:20:05
>> Vinnie? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, he told
01:20:07
me he knows you.
01:20:07
>> One of my good friends.
01:20:08
>> V. Yeah.
01:20:09
>> Have you seen his tattoo on his butt?
01:20:11
>> I've seen it all.
01:20:12
>> That tattoo is the He's the one of one
01:20:15
tattoo.
01:20:15
>> He's the man.
01:20:16
>> You met him. You met Venar Fuso. You met
01:20:18
him on his ass. He has the Dallas
01:20:20
Cowboys star next to a Palestinian flag.
01:20:24
>> Yeah.
01:20:25
>> What is that? That is not the same
01:20:26
tattoo.
01:20:27
>> Okay. [ __ ] The combination of those two
01:20:29
things is uh
01:20:32
unbelievable.
01:20:32
>> Well, Jerry Jones is Palestinian. That's
01:20:34
why he got
01:20:35
>> Yeah. Yeah. He was a Yeah, he was in the
01:20:37
uh PFLP for a while.
01:20:39
>> I bet mine would look like a Dallas
01:20:41
Cowboy star, but I can't
01:20:42
>> No, it's just a star, but it covered up
01:20:43
a what? A name? What was it?
01:20:45
>> It was a butterfly.
01:20:46
>> Butterfly. That's right.
01:20:47
>> What? So, you were like, I'm embarrassed
01:20:49
to have a butterfly. Somebody
01:20:50
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
01:20:51
>> I was When I was drinking, I had a
01:20:53
butterfly tattoo there.
01:20:54
>> Okay.
01:20:54
>> I was drunk and then I was embarrassed.
01:20:56
I put a star on top of that.
01:20:57
>> That's a good story.
01:20:58
>> Wait,
01:21:00
>> you have tattoos or no?
01:21:02
>> No. I have no respect for any tattoo
01:21:03
I've ever seen ever.
01:21:05
>> It's like street art. Am I going to look
01:21:07
at a graffiti and be like, "Wow,
01:21:11
>> no. No. I mean,
01:21:12
>> you don't have No,
01:21:13
>> I don't. That's It's Why would I do
01:21:15
that?"
01:21:15
>> Yeah.
01:21:16
>> It's ridiculous to get that for forever.
01:21:19
>> Silly.
01:21:20
>> Silly.
01:21:20
>> Forever. He's got them all over.
01:21:23
>> Wow. Well, I like the Mad TV tattoo.
01:21:25
Man,
01:21:25
>> you like you've actually earned that
01:21:27
one, too.
01:21:27
>> Yeah. Comedy store.
01:21:28
>> How many seasons were you Mad TV?
01:21:30
>> Eight year. Seven. Eight years.
01:21:32
>> Oh my god. You're the cool. That That is
01:21:34
so cool.
01:21:34
>> Yeah, I was on it.
01:21:35
>> It was so cool back then.
01:21:37
>> It was so funny.
01:21:38
>> Yeah,
01:21:38
>> it was it was just I
01:21:40
>> I used to watch it rel
01:21:44
I prefer this
01:21:45
>> SNL.
01:21:45
>> No, this
01:21:46
>> Oh, sorry.
01:21:46
>> Hanging out with you like this thing.
01:21:48
>> This kind of thing.
01:21:49
>> YEAH. THERE'S NO NOTES. THERE'S NO
01:21:50
SOMEBODY SAYING, YOU KNOW, I mean, you
01:21:52
can't do that.
01:21:52
>> Well, these are the conversations that
01:21:54
comics have. Yeah. Yeah.
01:21:55
>> When no one's watching.
01:21:56
>> Yeah. Exactly. There's no like, uh, oh,
01:21:58
you're 20 minutes late. What the [ __ ]
01:22:00
You know what I mean?
01:22:00
>> They said that on Mad TV to you.
01:22:02
>> Yeah. You would get in trouble if you
01:22:03
were like an hour late or whatever.
01:22:04
>> Really?
01:22:05
>> Yeah. Yeah.
01:22:05
>> How did Arty survive?
01:22:07
>> I wasn't on with him, but you know, I
01:22:08
mean, he barely survived. Yeah. Yeah.
01:22:10
>> The story he tells about the pig thing
01:22:12
is the funniest.
01:22:13
>> Crazy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
01:22:14
>> You never did anything with him?
01:22:16
>> No, I never met him. I mean, I know him
01:22:18
now, but like
01:22:19
>> back then you did no crossover.
01:22:20
>> No crossover. No.
01:22:21
>> Wow. I crossovered with uh Alex Borstein
01:22:24
who did Miss Swan. You know what I mean?
01:22:26
>> Yeah. Oh, I thought Oh, never mind. I
01:22:29
thought that was
01:22:31
>> Were you like, "Hey, this is what the
01:22:34
hell is this?"
01:22:34
>> Oh, no.
01:22:35
>> No, you came up with that.
01:22:36
>> No, I didn't come up with a knot.
01:22:37
>> But if someone was doing a character on
01:22:38
Matt TV with me like Heshi Tesher was
01:22:40
the pedophile.
01:22:42
>> I would be like a little bit like you're
01:22:44
a black guy. Why are you doing
01:22:45
>> For me it's comedy. There's no bounds.
01:22:46
>> There's no bounds.
01:22:47
>> She's also there's no bounds.
01:22:48
>> She's so good at it.
01:22:49
>> She's so good at it.
01:22:50
>> She's so good. My friend actually his
01:22:52
his mom was a dentist. She did uh Alex
01:22:54
Borisstein's teeth or no no uh no he no
01:22:58
he wrote a letter to Matt TV and uh and
01:23:02
uh he said he loved the Miss Swan
01:23:03
character and uh she sent back a a a
01:23:07
what do you call it? Headshot and it
01:23:08
said Phil you look like a man. And then
01:23:11
she signed it and and yeah and he had it
01:23:13
next to a Stone Cold thing cuz his mom
01:23:16
did Stone Cold's teeth.
01:23:18
>> Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Yeah. You look like
01:23:20
He look like a man.
01:23:21
>> Phil, you look alike a man. That's so
01:23:23
funny. Who wrote that?
01:23:24
>> She did.
01:23:25
>> Really? She came up with that
01:23:26
>> with the character. Yeah.
01:23:28
>> You know that she said to me when I got
01:23:29
on the show? She pulled me aside. She
01:23:31
goes,
01:23:32
>> "Get off the show as quickly as you
01:23:33
can."
01:23:34
>> She said that to you
01:23:35
>> because I hate it here.
01:23:36
>> Oh, I thought she was like, I I don't
01:23:37
want to see your celestial ass around.
01:23:40
>> Listen, you [ __ ] How long was she on?
01:23:43
>> Three or four years.
01:23:43
>> She's lowest. No.
01:23:45
>> Yes.
01:23:45
>> Yeah.
01:23:45
>> Wow. She's the She's the best lady of
01:23:47
all time.
01:23:48
>> The best. Oh my god. You have her
01:23:50
number?
01:23:50
>> No.
01:23:51
>> Um, why didn't you get her number?
01:23:52
>> I There's some cast members where I just
01:23:55
never clicked with.
01:23:57
>> She was one of them.
01:23:57
>> She was one of them. Yeah. Do you play
01:23:59
clubs here when you're in town or No.
01:24:00
>> No. No. No.
01:24:01
>> Come to the store. Why don't you come
01:24:03
tonight?
01:24:03
>> Are you there tonight?
01:24:04
>> Are you there tonight?
01:24:05
>> No, I'm out. Valhalla, you mean?
01:24:07
>> I'm there tonight.
01:24:08
>> When are you there?
01:24:09
>> Really?
01:24:09
>> Next week? Monday.
01:24:10
>> Oh, you're going to do Monday. That
01:24:12
Monday?
01:24:13
>> Yeah. You have Jay's number?
01:24:15
>> No.
01:24:15
>> Oh, yeah.
01:24:16
>> You have Jay's number.
01:24:17
>> He's upstairs.
01:24:18
What? J J J J J J J J J J J J J J J J J
01:24:19
J J J J J J J J J J J J J J J J J J J J
01:24:19
J J J J Jason J Jason,
01:24:20
>> I love him so much.
01:24:21
>> He comes to the store now more. I don't
01:24:23
know why he's been coming a lot, but he
01:24:24
has.
01:24:25
>> He's amazing.
01:24:27
>> Everyone says that thing about the late
01:24:29
>> but the late '7s they say everyone was
01:24:31
like that was the best comic I've ever
01:24:32
seen.
01:24:33
>> Well, you know, and then the store was
01:24:34
the divide between him and Letterman. It
01:24:36
was either you were his side or his
01:24:37
side.
01:24:37
>> Well, yeah. And then the he crossed the
01:24:39
picket line during the strike. How
01:24:41
pathetic is that striking
01:24:42
>> from what? From [ __ ] How pathetic.
01:24:45
We're going to start a union. What is
01:24:47
this? [ __ ] lay miser rob.
01:24:48
>> Yeah, but the
01:24:49
>> Yeah, but they never got paid anything
01:24:51
and the store was getting all the money.
01:24:53
I mean I mean
01:24:54
>> Jay like Jay like crossed the picket
01:24:56
line in a [ __ ] like a clown car or
01:24:58
something
01:25:00
>> and then Mity gave him a drink ticket.
01:25:02
>> Yeah.
01:25:02
>> Like you know so much about that.
01:25:04
>> Me?
01:25:05
>> Yeah, I was there dude. I was there
01:25:06
brother.
01:25:07
>> Oh my god. You should have seen it man.
01:25:09
You should have seen that was the good
01:25:11
>> I think you're like Andrew in that way
01:25:12
that you guys know tidbits of something
01:25:13
like a lot.
01:25:14
>> But it's about comedy dude
01:25:15
>> that specifically. Everybody knows those
01:25:16
stories, but that's that's also why like
01:25:18
young people divided on who they liked
01:25:20
more was Letterman or Leno.
01:25:22
>> That but I I hated that that uh uh I
01:25:25
hated that. I liked all of them.
01:25:26
>> Yeah. But it became this kind of thing
01:25:28
is like Eagles or Rolling Stones. Yeah.
01:25:31
Yeah. It's [ __ ] I mean I like Conan
01:25:34
as a kid cuz he was silly. It love
01:25:36
Conan.
01:25:36
>> Yeah. It was like a sloppy fun show.
01:25:38
>> But I loved Jay just just finding make
01:25:44
there. Come on. They're friends.
01:25:48
I'm friends with it. They're a friend.
01:25:51
Yeah. Just fighting dumb asses and
01:25:52
asking them one plus one.
01:25:54
>> It's so fun.
01:25:56
>> Oh, Adam, you want to plug anything?
01:25:58
>> Uh, the Adam Fre show. Do girls come to
01:26:01
your guys uh shows?
01:26:02
>> It's all guys. Insurrectionist.
01:26:03
>> It's all guys.
01:26:05
>> It's all insurrectionist.
01:26:06
>> We're doing it at the capital next year.
01:26:07
>> Actually, because of the talk show,
01:26:09
there's like more now. There's uh
01:26:10
there's like Yeah. Like parents.
01:26:12
>> I would say we get a a lot of couples.
01:26:14
>> We get couples. A lot of hostages. Yeah.
01:26:16
>> Yeah. Yeah.
01:26:18
>> No, actually girls like this show.
01:26:20
>> Well, you guys are more sex symbol kind
01:26:21
of style.
01:26:22
>> Thank you.
01:26:23
>> For me, I I command uh Yeah. I just
01:26:26
loer. No. No. I love the boys. Shout out
01:26:28
to the You're the craziest. It's like
01:26:30
they let out the insane asylum.
01:26:32
>> Or Adam, look in the camera and go, um,
01:26:35
what?
01:26:35
>> Thank you for being a bad friend. I
01:26:37
mean, that's how we close a show.
01:26:38
>> All right. Thank you for being a bad
01:26:39
friend.
01:26:39
>> Yeah, that's good. That's sucks. Why did
01:26:41
you guys do that? You make the guest do
01:26:42
that's fine.
01:26:44
Woo!
01:26:50
Woo!
01:26:52
Yeah!
01:26:55
Woo!
