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hey hi guys welcome back to bad friends and what did we create for you guys on patreon we created the best of some great tidbits and Snips from this year the best of the tidbits and Snips Snips
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and tidbits and also the worst and some of the worst and they're available on YouTube and if you like what you see you
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course of the year and what we're doing next year we have some fun stuff planned go to patreon.com okay our next case is uh
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Danielle Ortiz versus his brother wants to take his uh brother to core because of dog support I like to consider myself as a primary caretaker of the ass face dog a blue-nosed pitbull named Tyson and
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his brother uh I guess is taking from him I was we need we need we need a better reader we need a better reader we
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need someone that speaks English understand word let me tell you something I thank you Carlos this okay it's basically that his brother is
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taking back his dog that he took care of for six years okay I'll tell you what it's a blue noosed pit blue noos pit get
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him in the ring let him start fighting for money what do you say honorable what I say is that you give them to a
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Vietnamese family Vietnamese family and let them let it survive let it survive if it survives for a year sometimes they do they do right then you keep it mhm
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next all right we have Arnold kiari versus his friend in Norway oo noran oh yeah I was out at a club with a friend but after the club's closed I went to an Afterparty with some other friends that
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I met at that club but the friend I originally came with was really mad at me and still won't return my calls
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because you bailed but the thing is he had work at 9:00 a.m. this case is about this gentleman ditching his friend I got
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to tell you something here here's my number one rule if you're be real though if you're not having fun you're allowed
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to leave at any point in the night exactly there's nothing wrong with that right you're not his babysitter you're
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not his parent right he has his own choices you made a choice now did you ask him if you wanted to come with I
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mean maybe that's what he was hurt by but he should have said that and if he didn't say that guess whose fault it is
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who yours whoever the guy's name is Daniel you should have said you should have said to your friend you should have
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said like hey dud I want to go out with these cooler guys I gotta go I got cooler people to go out with yeah yeah
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you want to come if you came up to me and said hey man I got to go out with these cooler guys but you're not allowed to come I would say I bid you a you I
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wish you luck but that that' be ridiculous because you're the coolest guy I know you're the coolest guy I know
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hey honorable honorable you isn't it honorable doesn't do enough Justice wink wink to who you really are to me you're more than honorable yes you are above honor next hey bad Friends crew um got a
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little predicament here uh uh I am a white man and um evil evil evil I'm just curious when it comes to the Emojis if I change all of mine to a
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black guy is that blackf face you got to let me know please it's actually a really good question that's such a good question such a good question I got to tell you that's a great question because I do the Black Fist when I text people
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back I blackfist all the time I do eggplant you do well that's you yeah that's black dick yeah that's
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black dick yeah I I think there's nothing wrong with using different colored Emoji they put him in there no I
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think it's black face no it's not it is dude my all mine are yellow they started all yellow that's
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right the regular that's who makes the phone yeah by the way they were sitting in the programming room they're like what color should everyone be and
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someone's like yellow yeah like all right I think that's not blackface I think you're good I think you should
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keep doing it yeah now if you put your face as a black face and then you follow it up by using the word that's not good
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that's probably not good but I think it's good I think you're I love I love using emojis don't make any sense I do
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that all the time like I'll send somebody like a fire engine truck or something yeah I like that yeah and they're like what that's it I like the
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telescope I use the telescope sometimes yeah yeah which what why do people sometimes do the big eye one no not that
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one it's like an oval why like a suspicious eyes oh I like yeah cuz they're like what are you talking about
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yeah like what's going on is that what that is yeah I don't like it I like I like that one because you cannot have
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the huh oh they're doing it to mock you Bob right big eyes that's them going look what you can't do my honorable Grandmaster and Bobby and supreme leader Andrew are hereby present you the case
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of the poorly shower poopy shower bath train me and my wife have been together for 10 years we have an amazing time
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together recently our love has been put to the test I'm a man who loves a clean house and so I have to have a calm mind I like cleaning and satisfaction to feel this actually I have a battle with a
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shower bath drain in the bathroom it smells like a bowel of a rotten corpse I never seem to get the smell to go away
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for more than a few days it always comes back so when I go to take a bath and water gets in the drain it's like a bathing in a toilet filled with poop a
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few days ago my wife was showering my lovely and as a lovely husband I was bringing some towels but when I opened
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the door she was squatting I could see her [ __ ] in the drain she later told me that she always has done it and it's nothing weird I also told her I wanted
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her to stop she then went into on and told me I was trying to control her and that she was going to continue with her disgusting activities as is normal am I
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ready to tell her to stop I a wait your humble judgment um another question I have is why did does explain why okay do
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you have a good divorce attorney because this is absolutely divorce my wife is pooping in the shower drain there's a
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toilet within a foot away of it I guarantee it can I defend her you've pooped in the tub you've pooped in the
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tub I've done something equal what and I still do it so this is what I it's insane I'm
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going to throw up if you're not going to throw up but it's [ __ ] insane and I the other day I did cuz I've done it millions of times but the other day I
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was doing like what am am I doing so so I was watching what what I do is I go to the kitchen and I'll watch iPad MH so
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I'll watch you know Arsenal videos on YouTube or whatever right and then I'll go God I got to got to go to the
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bathroom right but instead of going to the bathroom I just pick up there's all these cups laying around so I'll just
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pick up a cup and I'll just pee there why because I don't want to go there it's 6 feet away I don't want to go
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there I don't want to go there you piss in a cup that you drink out of I want sit I want to do
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this in a cup I'm watching videos you drink out of the cup I wash them for that's insane and that's nasty and I I I [ __ ] I resent the allegation what the
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[ __ ] do you mean you piss in a cup that you drink out of you piss it you clean it you still drunk you still drank out of it I know why do I do it yes it's
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gross have you guys ever done that no yes Pete what in the in the car like I just find a he's in his kitchen I'm in like but can I say another thing holy [ __ ] you're in your [ __ ] house you
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have six bathrooms so one time I looked out my window right of my house I looked
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through the like you know have the little window I look out and I see theovon peeing on my like not on the house but
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there's a wall just peeing all over the wall and they go dude there's a bathroom 5T away he goes I had to go right
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now and so and then I understood it I go I get it it's outside peeing outside is
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fine pissing inside on my house it's going to go it's going to wash doesn't matter he's peeing on my it's so
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disrespectful why do you think Aussie Osborne got [ __ ] trouble for peeing on the Alamo well that's the Alamo dude my
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house is my Alamo dude there's been Wars well then I'm I'm I my point is this okay I understand the psychology of like
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I'd rather do it now pooping and go in 5 seconds from in a tub pooping in a tub I'm not saying pissing buddy you're
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saying pissing this woman so you're saying mine's okay it it no it's not okay it's less gross than this okay this
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is [ __ ] in the [ __ ] tub drain you know what usually goes down in tub drain yeah
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water poop it's not made for poop I look can I say something I think you're wrong Andrew I I'll tell you why what I I I had diarrhea like here we go you're
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going to [ __ ] defend go ahead I love this like 10 days ago in your bathtub I love it I I was showering and I just had
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to go so bad I there we go I don't want to be on the show anymore yeah you have to I I'm disgusted the people that are
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on this show dude because you don't know what's possible I I I have a great imagination that's not possible I think
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that's what it is you're you're Li you're limited in your in your imagination you don't know what's possible first of all first of all
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Carlos and I know what's possible yeah you're both repulsive no not it's not repulsive we know the possibility we see a dra if either of you poop in a drain
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of your shower or your or your bathtub you're [ __ ] repulsive to me okay to you but to me you're a hero no no no to
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99.9% of Americans you're [ __ ] repulsive if you poop in the tub Saxon Christian fundamentalist [ __ ] that's right this this is a white person what I'm saying to you is that you're I like
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your imaginations and you know the possibilities yeah I had to go that's why you're both single and that lady right this is why you're both single
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that's [ __ ] rude I'm a fat asian guy that's part of it but by the way yeah never mind the fact this isn't just a shower it's where he [ __ ] it's where they take baths she
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does too they poop in the same drain that they bathe in so when they stop the drain oh you're insane that's poop
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particles that come back up that they don't come back up yes they do they go where they must no it's heavy no no no
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poop particles are light how light are poop particles I think it's coming up because she's doing it so consistently so when he she's [ __ ] in there
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constantly yeah I bet that thing is clogged with [ __ ] I know what it is I know I just realized why she's doing it they can't afford a
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duvet a duvet cover for their bed not duvet not duvet uh what's it called AET they well they let me tell you something judging right judging by the sound of
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this they can't afford to do V either all right these people sleep on the floor without a doubt these people sleep
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without blankets on the floor no but think of the theory though all right I I want to [ __ ] and wash my ass with water
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then poop in the toilet and then get in the [ __ ] then you can get in and open look after I [ __ ] I get in the shower
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and I wash my body including my [ __ ] but I don't poop in the drain in the shower dude you probably even eat your
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own scabs huh you eat your scabs you you eat all of them see look at this yeah what is that breakfast second breakfast [ __ ] what I'm
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saying is that I've had I've never eaten a booger I've never so much as eat you're not you don't know what the possibilities are and your mind is shut
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and I want you to open you're not supposed to eat things that your body is comes out so poop piss boogers was
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insane you're not supposed to put it back it wants it out for a reason anyway Carlos you're on my side yeah he's a Bo
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no not a booger either let me look at you Carlos right wait a have have you eat a scab on your body oh of course
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there we go yeah look you're both the same kind of guy by the way never mind this is shitfish do you forget this is shitfish this is shitfish that you're
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you're sighing with shitfish I know okay Pete you ever eaten [ __ ] scabs no no no God bless Pete that
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wasn't weird though what I didn't know that was I see that's the thing we you don't know that eating learning today
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the things that are weird welcome to adulthood thank you and we're just learning so write down the notes don't
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[ __ ] in the drain don't pee in the Cubs and don't e your scabs write that down and now we learned something new now you
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know it's not going to stop you from doing it I am this today hence forward I will not do those things Matt Nolan versus his wife so my girlfriend of three years is great but she's so comfortable with me now and blasts ass
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around me all the time love that when we're eating watching movie and the worst is getting ready for bed when she DCH ovens me this [ __ ] is awesome uh if
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you don't know what that is it's when someone farts we all know what a dutch oven is I hate when they do that I invented it bad friends what should I do
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I mean there is some evidence against Matt what's this evidence against Matt he's got uh eproctophilia this is paraph
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this is what paraphilia isn't always a bad thing that people are into it some people are sexually aroused by farting
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it's called eproctophilia uhhuh whoo and there's like only fan scrs you can buy their jars of f okay okay okay no no no
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he's right but I also I get a boner to cake farts when I used to watch cake farts I'd get hard watching that girl fart on a cake you've show me cake farts
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before really love it so good and she she literally goes uhoh it's someone's birthday yeah it's so funny dude but it's also um it's a gas inside the body
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mhm it's a it's not a poisonous gas it could be but it's a gas and so it's like when women don't let it out the insides must be [ __ ] stinky well we've looked this up on the show so what I'm saying
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is is that it's good that she's releasing that stuffff so it doesn't affect well he's saying he doesn't want it in front of her I'm on his side don't
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do it in front of me I don't fart on my your wife fart in front of you my wife has never farted since birth she do it
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she burps it out she does yeah that's where morning breath comes from she's holding in a fart all night and a little que too huh yeah hers are like little
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fireworks fronts are fun but if they smell I mean do your farts smell well it's the same poop that poop
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comes out of the same pipe so yeah I think so but sometimes have you noticed sometimes right it smells like nothing
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my farts always smell almost always and not wretched but they always have a little a little stank no I've been doing
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nothing farts when you get out of the shower that's the cleanest fart you're going to get then an hour later you've
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got some stank on it yeah but when I eat eggs oh yeah beans hard hard booil eggs
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oh my God most farts are ous and indicate the digestive system is healthy farts that have no smell can mean too much erors accumulated in the body is
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now ready to pass an exit yeah it'll go juicy Bobby me I just feel like white people in this environment is better than an Asian guy you know what I mean I couldn't agree with you more yeah Vancouver you know
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civilization they go oh we get you know we know mythological Oklahoma you're lucky to be here kind of they barely let
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me in I had to get you well that was so weird because none of us had to go through like I had to do kung fu Expedition you had to do you had to do
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like a kicking exercise at that made that that meal for the for the TSA with the the walk what did he say he's like
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make me a a a what's that called a Bim bin bat bow or yeah no no he go like in the Asian goes like bana but and you did
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though you flipped the shrimp I did I did and I made the little like the onion Tower thing yeah yeah yeah like the
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little train headed to the dynamite cave what you always take it too far oh [ __ ] you Dynamite cave here that's good next case Jacob rolink versus his
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friend's wife oh yeah I like this he titled cuck issue oh and I don't really know if okay I'll tell you this my friend's wife my friend quote unquote his wife has recently shown interest in
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wanting to swing for context they've been married for four years and have no kids but a solid relationship she said
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she wants to expand their sexual pleasure options but my friend isn't comfortable with the idea of having a guy pound his wife like the snooze
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button on your alarm clock they have had a threesome before with another female but now she's throwing it in his face
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that it's unfair that there's no guy ever been involved me me me me he me here me I will do it he he will do it
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he's suing his friend's wife uh because he he thinks it's fine not to have a guy
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in thre Sims uh what's your perspective on this well I think that I'm like I'm in between a guy and a woman you
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personally yeah so I could do it you could go both ways yeah I can do it because I'm soft like a woman you really are no muscles no musle to the doctor
00:15:53
they said you have no muscles and no leg hair really no leg hair no ha on your back yeah um you know I have a CLP dick
00:15:59
you got [ __ ] dick yeah I have a [ __ ] dicko beautiful [ __ ] dick right and um come on [ __ ] I would do an accent too I
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like you me like it I like it no do do a different accent I like it there it is was that Australian I don't know that was really good I like it I like it I like it I like it I like it I like it
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all right so look if you're going to have someone [ __ ] your wife let Bobby [ __ ] your wife and in fact if any other
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people that are watching yeah uh any of the patre Hors you got to you guys got to write in if you want your wife [ __ ] by Bobby please write also it's hilarious it is very F I swear to God
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you'll get your money back you have to pay me wa money back yeah you have to pay me so a it's a deposit and then you
00:16:39
give it back if if you don't laugh like if you don't have a huge chuckle if you don't laugh while Bobby's [ __ ] your wife you get your money back I guarantee here it guarantee he says and
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you can read it too my ex so so I currently live with my ex-girlfriend who also happens to be my kid's mom she
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cheated on me twice with another of mine so another woman unless unless he was gay before maybe and she's wanting to
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get back together she hasn't dated anyone within a year so NE neither have I been pretty lame what should I do this
00:17:09
is interesting a very interesting one first of all um and I'm going to say something that's probably prehistoric
00:17:16
thinking yeah okay yeah if let me ask you something I'm if your wife yeah cheated on you with another girl with one of my exes no with a girl well but
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the one of your ex-girlfriends that's what it is would you be mad nope be stoked that's what I'm saying bring her
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down I'd bring her on in I'd be like come on in yeah yeah yeah what's going on why is that though because I used to
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[ __ ] the other girl OB share you're a good person yeah I want it in get back come back come back enjoy the menu yeah
00:17:45
let's have fun together now um if she cheated on you with her ex-boyfriend bring him
00:17:53
in exactly it depends is he hot is he cool I think this guy I think this guy should get back together with that girl it's his ex also and I would say since you [ __ ] around on me with some of my
00:18:04
exes let's have threesome now so I can have two for one that makes it fair if she [ __ ] around on him with one of his exes assuming it's a girl bring those girls back in yeah what [ __ ] you owe
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him that yeah you owe him at least a threesome with one of the girls you cheated on him with in my opinion yeah
00:18:22
right yep what do you think rude I agree yeah you think let them let them let her come back but also they' got to she's
00:18:27
got to put on a show mm M yeah so I used to get boils on my head okay you know that no but I don't like it I [ __ ] hate it my mom used to get it I haven't had boil in my head in like 15 years
00:18:39
you're boily people yeah but we used to get these gigantic boils on our head like it was like a golf ball e what the
00:18:45
[ __ ] it was insane from what I don't know I never went to the hospital Jes but I had a remedy yeah right and I I
00:18:51
learned this through zits through zits yeah basically a boil is a Samoan zit shut the [ __ ] up yeah a boil is a Samo and zit yeah it's the same you know what
00:19:05
I mean um anatomy anatomy okay so what you do is what I would do is like oh [ __ ] I have another boil I just wake up with him okay right it would ruin my day yeah as as it does right so what I would
00:19:18
do is I would go to the bathtub and I would get a I would go to 7-Eleven cuz I had no money back then right and I would
00:19:23
get those gigantic bags of ice MH and haul it back and people go hey Bob what's going on boil all right and what
00:19:31
I would do is I run it with hot water for 2 minutes like the hottest you could do yeah and then I would freeze
00:19:38
it you what with an ice cube with an ice cube the Ice Cube would be here I would freeze it yeah and then I would do that
00:19:44
routine for a complete hour why' you need a whole bag of ice because I would freeze it you didn't have an ice maker
00:19:49
at the house no I didn't have any ice machine there was no ice maker at the house like right now do I have ice in my house you don't why do you not have an
00:19:55
ice maker I don't know how to do broken it's it's broken you don't know how to do how to do it you don't do okay that's
00:20:01
F I want to share something please no look can I finish this though oh [ __ ] it's not over can I finish my boil and
00:20:07
you would and what would happen was it it would pop of course yeah and it would just drool down your side I know with a
00:20:15
yellowy yeah red it would be yellow sauce mine's red yeah so go ahead okay I also had boils in my head in the Philippines there we go this runs in your family you guys we're not blood
00:20:25
related because so yeah let's take test she might be your cousin mother but because I had lice it would
00:20:34
go inside the boil but it it's it's a their Spa I'm getting so gross out it's unbelievable did you know boil you guys are [ __ ] boils is a licensed Spa yeah it's a spot it's a light spot yeah God
00:20:47
they St it out have you been to the back of her head the front of her head isn't as nice as the back of her
00:20:53
head come on guys let's go I just like the voice yeah why do they have to have that voice all right we're going to go to it's underneath her ears [ __ ] me yeah anyway so what would
00:21:04
happened um it would be so itchy and I would just feel like the puss and then every time I scratched it I would see lies and you have bed bugs at when you
00:21:15
were a kid too no not bed bugs just roaches but lice you had a lot of lice lice it lice all the time how many years did you have lice for ever since I was young oh and he
00:21:27
still states in America we don't have them we kill yeah they die here thank God yeah
00:21:34
they do but in the Philippines under Trump they do under Biden he's letting them roam around around so go ahead but
00:21:41
I had no remedy I would just wait until it heals oh my that's it oh yeah that's it I have a fear of skin tagging cuz my
00:21:47
dad has a lot of skin tags I get them sometimes I have a skin tag back here yeah and he has little tags underneath
00:21:53
his eyes a lot of like uh where he is regional Italians like from that part they get all these bumps under their
00:21:58
eyes yeah you'll get them removed it's a whole [ __ ] thing you'll get them removed lasers by your eyes dude I get
00:22:03
skin tags removed all the time I've never had one removed yeah yeah go ahead I also had skin tags you look like
00:22:09
you've had skin tags by the way your name your nickname to me is skin tag and and did lice burrow yeah lice burrow you
00:22:16
have a li Li Spa no yeah yeah no so how many what do you do with them they just um she cuts them off you know that no laser you laser yeah you can laser that [ __ ] off now yeah yeah hey dude
00:22:31
[Music] man the number one magician in Dubai that's right yeah I'm based in Dubai that was actually my sister very sweetly said I'm the number one but what of
00:22:44
magic you like should we do card magic do you want mind reading like what would you like reading Minds yeah read by mind
00:22:51
holy [ __ ] Jessie tell you just hold your hand up flat here quickly just a little bit
00:22:56
further apart like that I'll do really quickly um one of your hands just wiggle the fingers of one of your hands that
00:23:02
one okay just close it up keep that closed but I'm just going to draw a little heart there a lot of love
00:23:09
with the bad friends isn't there there really is Sharpie the permanent markers but look if I were to just pick up a
00:23:15
heart of my hand and just drop it yeah on your hand open your hand slowly have a look at what you're holding oh my God
00:23:23
[ __ ] god this has got to be the tattoo that's insane insane I love wait can you read you know can you do a mind reading thing to me yeah yeah 100% by the way it's a real
00:23:35
pleasure put a t on I'll do one of my favorite pieces of of mentalism for you okay okay um jety
00:23:43
you're going to be my fabulous assistant I'm just going to give you my wallet just love there's something inside that
00:23:48
Andrew I want you to think of someone in your life this can be anyone it can be like a best mate a relative a loved one
00:23:54
someone you grew up with I would say not someone in the public night no one you've mentioned on the podcast you know it's just but someone who makes you
00:23:59
happy okay I got it you got someone I got it when I do magic I kind of like everyone to be involved I don't do
00:24:05
oneon-one I always want everyone apart from me to know the name of this person before we start doing anything people
00:24:10
always accuse me of hearing when a walk away they all whisper to each other and we just write the first name so you can show everyone quietly please don't give
00:24:17
anything away guys whether it's a man or woman when you all seen it you can just fold it up okay okay okay yeah yeah fold
00:24:23
it back upold itold it perfect I'll just take the pen for you yeah you can't have this well okay you have it no you have
00:24:30
it okay you guys all saw the name j you saw it as well fabulous we don't even need this anymore this is kind of like evidence now hold your hand out there
00:24:36
just grab all the piece of paper for me we'll get rid of this in one second but this person you're thinking about there's no way I could know this person
00:24:44
no [ __ ] way I mean you haven't said the name of this person out loud probably since you've been in the theater have you he doesn't he doesn't
00:24:49
even know I know he doesn't even know no way so whoever you're thinking about how long have you known them before then since we met when our mom we we met when
00:24:57
we were in nine okay oh wonderful there some you have a very deep connection like my oldest friend in the world
00:25:03
that's perfect juy I gave you my wallet now that was the very first thing I did wasn't it yeah that was actually before I asked you to think of this person let's have a look in here in my wallet I've actually got a second wallet this
00:25:15
little mini one inside here look I zipped up in a compartment I put one of my business cards I don't want to touch
00:25:20
that can you just grab it out yeah yeah well we're doing business now we'll just flip it over yeah flip it over yeah say hi to Sean for oh my God oh my God oh my
00:25:27
God oh my God oh my God oh my God oh my God yesterday had half of the sandwich and that's all I ate all day really and today I had half a hot dog at um dog
00:25:43
house was that what's it called dogghouse yeah yeah yeah half of because I'm trying to lose weight how much you
00:25:49
weigh right now I don't have a scale but I you have one up here though don't you yeah I do and I saw a photo of Mez I did
00:25:56
a live show in Austin mhm and I looked like the worst I've ever looked really you think so yeah it was like the Korean whale like in the movie what is
00:26:08
what's the sound he makes [Music] what sh sh kids if you're quiet you can hear the Korean whales and he says to his daughter well you have to write down
00:26:20
your feelings and write me a letter or i' like to see some of your writings right and instead of [ __ ] candy bar I have [ __ ] like you know mochi balls
00:26:30
little tiny Mochi for the and I've got you know what I mean and then the and then the nurse lady is white has to be
00:26:36
in the Korean whale are they white in the Korean whale because in in the whale she was Asian that's right so let's just
00:26:42
reverse it flip it right and then the Christian kid that comes over has got to be an Asian dude if they remake the
00:26:48
whale the whale will you do it I have to do it move over Brendan Fraser yeah and
00:26:55
I'd be like um what what my gay love die he die I eat moochi Bo oh you're sad yeah and I die in 5 day in five day I'm gone but I like daughter ride I want you
00:27:10
to ride you have the ability to ride this look like the bootlegged version you know right right and then this is
00:27:16
the bootleg and at the very last scene right I stand up right yeah and I pick up a rickshaw a whale with a Rick Shaw and I go to my daughter but instead of flying
00:27:28
up in the sky I melt down beautiful it's beautiful I go to hell why would you go to hell you don't go to hell I want to
00:27:34
go reverse of with cuz we have to change the movie a little bit that's right it's got a flip right people are going to oh we saw that coming it oh we didn't see
00:27:40
him going to hell right but you see the whale no oh you don't even know what I'm talking about no I have no idea honestly
00:27:47
yeah I didn't all that shit's in the movie didn't see it why cuz brenon Fraser and I have beef are you being
00:27:53
real we got into a fight six or seven years ago oh wow on Santa Monica Boulevard over what what a parking spot all right I thought
00:28:00
it was over the laugh he did remember during the or show we went whatever they fck what that Meme remember that mem you
00:28:06
did yeah when he CL when he was clapping laughing you mean I love that guy yeah I love that guy he kills it in that movie
00:28:13
he had what a Resurgence a guy like that had a second wind but he cuz I was watching I was going is it what you know the hype MH and I was cuz it was the
00:28:24
first time I watched it it was worth it though you no I was watching it and I was like holy [ __ ] he's so good in this
00:28:30
like he just kills it incredible did you ever have you ever crowd surfed what do you mean crowd surfed
00:28:39
have you ever crowd surfed I know what you mean so what do I mean what do I mean have you ever [ __ ] crowd surfed have you Bobby have you once okay it was
00:28:48
embarrassing no I've never they dropped me they did 100% they dropped me oh cuz they like it when it's like a cool chick or a skinny guy I was a lumpy bumpy and they just dropped me yeah but I I
00:29:00
usually go to yo-yo M concerts and they don't have that there dude one time I I stage dive at Ena it was [ __ ] raw D
00:29:08
you did she was she was like or or right on my face actually dude one time at the
00:29:16
at the punk Premiere party yeah I got up on the bar it was at the um what's that
00:29:21
bar you used to have standup comedy shows on Melrose oh yeah yeah it's on uh was J
00:29:27
Davis room right yeah what was that called it was called The Parlor the par it didn't used to be called that did you
00:29:32
ever play there yeah like 2010 you they put you up there yeah was was was it like an open mic or something it wasn't a [ __ ] Open Mic was it after the good Comics went it before before yeah they put you up first exactly oh it was a
00:29:44
book show though yeah I think lenoi was there oh the good guys what were you doing you were doing were you doing sets
00:29:51
back then at that place yeah I I we had the punk Premiere party there and I'm not kidding I got so wrecked I ripped my
00:29:56
shirt and I jumped on on the bar and I was like it's the best night of our Lives everyone's like yeah dude and I jumped nobody caught me oh my God face
00:30:04
plant face face plant and I bounced back up like yeah idiot I used to be I used to
00:30:10
be picked up sometimes from school yeah there was like a it was like a it was a station wagon it was an old
00:30:17
couple that was retired and they would pick up kids from school and take them back to the other part of our neighborhood there was like 10 kids and
00:30:23
we would just be in the back of the station wagon just rolling around no seat belts oh wow full speed on Lake sh Drive I would love to have a time
00:30:30
machine and pick you up from school okay here we go no so what happens is no no what happens is this though okay is one day I just show up right at a baseball
00:30:42
game or whatever M and I I go hey dude you don't know me shut up what hey you don't know me are you scared a
00:30:55
little do you like it when when I'm scared I do because the the person I know now like in the future wouldn't be scared you're from the Future I'm From the future wow look at me D do we all
00:31:08
have those kind of eyes in the future no no no it's just I had I was I'm Asian oh yeah yeah yeah you're what what
00:31:15
happened oh I I stayed out in the sun too long I should get back inside you should go back let's go inside okay
00:31:22
let's go to this toy store wow yeah come on anyway I wish we could buy something in here wherever you want I can you can
00:31:28
have I can have anything yeah can I have this entire GI Joe set yeah and the you
00:31:34
got to listen listen listen listen I am okay listen but you and I have a business together in the future 40 years
00:31:39
from now 30 years from now wow yeah and we talk it's like a radio show I don't like radio I know but you will why I don't know why and I also
00:31:50
want to say you're very funny right now no do your friends say you're funny sometimes yeah yeah yeah so that's that's what you're going to do for a living wow yeah and you don't have to do
00:32:02
anything you just walk up on stairs you talk and then you turn on the thing and you talk anyway so tomorrow I'm going to
00:32:08
pick you up at school okay what are we going to do we just want to see the reaction of people
00:32:13
but don't you can't pretend that you don't know who I am because I just okay I promise okay next day here we go Hong
00:32:20
Kong hey Andrew help help help what the [ __ ] what the [ __ ] work it didn't work I was too Keen yeah we were too Keen I would love to go back in time and
00:32:33
see you as a little kid okay so this do it yeah hey little boy what's up what what sir I'm from the
00:32:44
Future No Sir what do you want I'm waiting for my mom she's going to pick me up your mom's not coming
00:32:51
today she's dead What They're All Dead my dad and your brother Steve I've got him house you know my brother's name yeah what did you do I haven't done anything yet D to
00:33:04
my mom and dad though oh I killed them what's my mom's name [Music] bong that's not her name that's her nickname that's what we call her well from where from the secret club that she
00:33:17
belongs to her name is bong your what's my dad's name Wong what's okay what's my
00:33:22
last name Chong you don't even know my you know my last name Fong Lee you know my last name I blanked out yeah you went crazy there with the Chong Wong
00:33:33
fongs yeah yeah by the way imagine trying to even kidnapping you or I as kids we'd be the hardest kids to kidnap
00:33:39
why because I was I was such a lunatic I wasn't going to go with anybody anywhere oh yeah I didn't even get my parents car
00:33:45
yeah one time I you I ran away from home one time for like 5 days yeah Jesus I [ __ ] I was insane when I was a kid I had no big and if a kid if adult Tred to hit I'd be like okay he's going to try
00:33:56
to molest me but I'm going to steal his wallet yeah I'll get some money out of this right so I'm going to go I'm going to I'm going to make this to my
00:34:02
advantage this situation you know what I mean like I would invite it wouldn't you yeah yeah I'd trick him and then when
00:34:08
you know once he's like touch I would grab his I I'd figure it out like that kid you know the movie Problem Child
00:34:13
remember that movie I did a do I was that you know I did a what they tried to do that as a TV show do you remember
00:34:20
that's right yeah you did a pilot for Problem Child yeah no way yeah they had yeah they had a kid in it and everything
00:34:25
what happen red red kid as a kid I wanted I want to see that problem child TV I mean you never aired I don't even yeah probably don't don't but it was him Matthew lard really it was me Matthew
00:34:38
lard that's all I remember really wow yeah him he's a great actor I love him but I remember we did the pilot it was uh uh it was pretty cool never got
00:34:49
picked up I see that yeah yeah we'd be we wouldn't be here today A pilot if a pilot in that era if
00:34:57
it gets picked up maybe you're home free all right next one Aussie sent this at one Tito Bobby and Tito Andrew I've been
00:35:03
trying to go on a weight loss Journey but my girlfriend says that she wants me to stay chubby so I won't want to leave
00:35:09
her once I get fit oh that's not nice she then tells me she wants a BBL even though I tell her how come she can work on her body but I can't what should I tell her a BBL it's that uh Brazilian
00:35:22
buttlift oh oh she wants a buttlift yeah yeah by the way let me take you guys into a great chicken wi spot when you're
00:35:28
in my city that's so funny that's so funny well that's not going to help you lose weight yeah uh so what do you think
00:35:34
you should do should he stay chubby for the love of his girl he should get fit to leave her let's see what he else can he can get let's see what else we can
00:35:40
get yeah yeah and also you should send us photos of of what you look like now let's see the journey let's see the kind
00:35:46
of puss that you're hunting for now if you saw if you saw let's say you were a single anderw yeah and um you know
00:35:53
you're you're and you meet a beautiful woman sure but she used to waste 700 lb she weighs 125 now lot of skin she's
00:36:00
beautiful yeah but when you look at her stomach it's like a melting it's like a melted candle it's like it's like a
00:36:06
[ __ ] uh yeah what what do you mcer painting what do you do uh lift and [ __ ] you got to lift up those flabs and [ __ ] my buddy would you pay for skin removal surgery first 100% first 100% I'm paying
00:36:18
for that yeah yeah cuz you don't want to [ __ ] a bean [Laughter] bag I know right yeah yeah it's if you did all that work let me reward you you
00:36:29
know what I'm saying like let me get to your [ __ ] without having to like but you store things in the flaps that is
00:36:36
smart like an iPhone charger like you know what I mean corn nuts right right that's where my Xbox
00:36:43
controller is a pantry yeah yeah I see you so wait his qu his original question was should he stay fat or should he get
00:36:50
fit I think yeah I think for your health yeah I think you should get fit and if and if she's going to get her Brazilian
00:36:56
buttlift yeah then you should get fit and if she's by the way yeah if she's afraid of you getting fit and then leaving her then it was already action it was already going to happen yeah
00:37:08
projection that's what she's say mad projection Azie get the weight loss Journey if you want it you know don't
00:37:14
let her control you what's her name I'm Mickey Megan and Mickey and you're and your sister and you're a marine yes sir
00:37:22
thank you for your service you still AC yeah yeah okay right now and uh your discrepancy is that you actually think he's in what is
00:37:33
it problem well his last Snapchat story it was him and one of his really good friends in their skippies and a bathtub together very Ste you getting
00:37:47
fisted you ask him now oh no yeah we same haircut and mustache see look yeah Prett good what's the verdict on this well the only evidence I seem to
00:38:13
have is that you saw some erotic pictures of him maybe you guys kiss him yeah maybe you kiss Bobby and see and that's what they want do it for
00:38:24
your country do it for [Applause] [Applause] [Applause] Give It Up so we were on the flight to um New York
00:39:03
no Rochester yeah we're going to Rochester Rochester that day I had eaten something bad I had a stomach flu mhm and thank
00:39:12
God you were the guy sitting next to me on the plane because I got up every 20 minutes I think it was seven or eight times and I'm not kidding we almost never sit next to each other because we either sleep or watch TV so we don't get
00:39:24
seats next to each other but there was only two seats left and they were next to each other so we sat next to each other thank God which was good for him
00:39:30
because I got up so many times so many times which I don't mind helping out my best friend but I actually felt so bad
00:39:36
the amount of times that you went into the toilet I I was dying the flight attendant did this to me I'm not even exaggerating she she walked by and she
00:39:42
goes like this about you really yeah cuz she could tell that something was wrong you
00:39:48
visibly upset dude I was sweating was [ __ ] terrible so you had you had a bad experience on the flight then we got
00:39:55
to Rochester then I went to the so this is what happened I went to the airport store and I got em modium ad you got you got three different kinds of of like different kinds of like diarrhea
00:40:07
suppressant yeah different suppressant I took a bunch I'm okay this is good right and but you know what I think it's good
00:40:14
to get it all out yeah don't leave it in there yeah I left it in there you left it in because there when there where
00:40:20
there's a will there's always a way that's right the the Pooh thinks there's a way there's a way out yeah there's a
00:40:26
way out getting out of this guy one way or another so then we went to get some dinner we went back to the hotel right
00:40:31
that was actually pretty foolish foolish we waited in line at a Wendy's uh Bobby gave a homeless guy $20 a $20 bill and
00:40:38
in ex that's right that's right he tried to give us a folding chair and a trash can that's right that's right a literal trash can he go he goes I'll be right
00:40:45
back I gave him the 20 I'll be right back we see him walk to a trash can a trash can pull out a [ __ ] chair he
00:40:53
ran back this for you and we're like where I thought about opening the trunk and being like put it in yeah we'll take
00:40:58
the chair we said no thank you we got our food we ate at the hotel yes Bobby went to bed I went to I we sat outside
00:41:05
and we chatted great chat good chat not great good okay slow down insane yeah great chat you know what I mean yeah I could I forgot it then the next morning I'm up getting
00:41:19
coffee with jety Johnson and I get a text message from our tour manager saying oh my God what's wrong with the rooms and I was like what do you mean what's wrong with the room the rooms are
00:41:31
fine she goes Bobby needs a new room and I immediately got mad I was like why would he need new [ __ ] room they were
00:41:37
nice rooms they were fine what did you what would you need more so I text and call text and
00:41:43
call then I finally get the real answer which is what is that they had to move you
00:41:50
because there was an accident in the room yeah what's the accident the D broke the damn broke while I was
00:41:59
sleeping and it flooded it flooded yeah the whole town yeah Bobby [ __ ] the bed
00:42:06
remember in Lord of the Eisen guard yeah those trees and it wiped out all those [ __ ]
00:42:12
exact that's exactly what happened but you you [ __ ] the bed the bed was Eisen guard in the middle of the night you my
00:42:18
B was a damn got it it was when you were sleeping you weren't even CAU dude it was so C the night before here's what's
00:42:25
crazy about it the night before I didn't sleep at all cuz in my mind I'm like I'm just going to sleep the 5H hour you know
00:42:30
what I mean the flight flight and I couldn't so finally that night I was like dude I I knew I was going to go on
00:42:36
deep sleep but at like 4: or 5 in the morning I wake up and the whole bed is wet soaking wet yeah and I saw the
00:42:45
photos yeah it was bad and Bobby literally goes I had to move a room I cried the tour can pay for it and then I said yeah whatever they'll just have to buy a new bed and he goes they can't
00:42:56
just clean it it was okay it was like okay it was like a mattress it looked like a
00:43:02
mattress from from Fight Club I have a I have a question yeah huh I was gonna Bill Bobby separately for that room yeah
00:43:10
okay yeah just want to confirm that we're still yeah pooping the bed is a kind of an individual expense it is is that the two can't take I don't think so
00:43:15
no I think when you [ __ ] the bed yeah yeah I think that's on you for my your I think I think okay okay that's yeah okay
00:43:23
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah but I love you God bless but I did support God bless you joh but I support you and I love you
00:43:28
and here's my favorite part of the whole story what my heart hurts cuz you know you're my best friend and I did say [ __ ] Bobby feels bad I'm bummed out I felt
00:43:34
bad for you I did yeah I said [ __ ] let's get him whatever he needs Carlos go get him [ __ ] from the store I want
00:43:39
him to feel good I walk back into the lobby from getting coffee you had just had diarrhea all
00:43:46
night you're eating Arby's you're eating two cheddar roast beef sandwiches yeah I
00:43:53
was hungry I buddy what wrong with that you just [ __ ] the bed I was hungry then
00:43:59
get something that's going to settle your stomach it released Arby's and my body's like we need more yeah more and I
00:44:05
was like here's more you know you know what you know an Aftershock and earthquake that's what Arby's is for your [ __ ] it's an Aftershock I
00:44:11
learned that after that yeah and then he shits again then he had another day and a half of bathroom Trav bathroom it's okay I learned a lesson did he did he
00:44:19
learn his lesson oh Arby's no he didn't because he still goes there right yeah so well guys I I hope you love uh this bonus episode uh and if you want to
00:44:31
watch more amazing Clips a lot of them we couldn't show here on YouTube because you guys know like the algorithm won't
00:44:39
let us put certain things in exactly but patreon doesn't care yeah what do we have on patreon uh bad coure bad advice
00:44:47
the tour documentary uh adree early episodes with content that was too hot for TV Girls Gone Wild Style in the and we have planned a lot of other things so
00:44:59
go to bad friend so go to patreon.com badri if you want ah [ __ ] me go to patreon.com badri that's
00:45:11
patreon.com bye [Music] friends woo yeah woo yeah