00:00:00
you two are bad friends who are these two idiots white dude i'm an asian dude you two
00:00:07
are disgusting well you two or something we're bad friends so john rambo is an alien
00:00:14
so unnecessary to run over the cop car i just want to explain to her what's going on we kept going down the street and this
00:00:20
doesn't make sense either this duck and dive with this motorcycle stay on the sidewalk what are you doing
00:00:25
yeah this is so poorly choreographed which is teller the premise all right so he's an alien he
00:00:31
just landed and and the local town right they saw the spaceship land in the creek
00:00:36
they freaked them out they say freak freak yeah get them and they got them because he was a
00:00:41
lizard at first and he came back as a human right what i don't believe you anyway so he lands it's a lizard race
00:00:56
he goes on i'm gone rambo you know well i'm johnny he goes yeah and janna didn't ramble oh that's right that's right that's something i'm getting rambo
00:01:08
[Applause] and then because of freeze get down get down right and then you go and he turns into
00:01:15
sylvester stallone yeah this sexy that's not that's that's a lizard alien but clone like as a disguise he's sylvester stallone right from so everyone thinks now some of the
00:01:27
townspeople think it's rocky balboa yeah they're looking for a fight yeah yeah so they're like what's up hey what are you fighting now it's apollo
00:01:34
remember one of the lions where's apollo yeah yeah he's like he's black that's what he said he's
00:01:40
black i didn't say that he does it yeah he does not it's cool man and it's a great feeling it's a great film but then the other
00:01:46
lizards yeah fly back down yeah and then like one turns into arnold schwarzenegger
00:01:52
and one of them is uh steven seagal and the other one john club and it's basically you know
00:01:58
what this is a prequel to um the the the this expandable expendables yeah this is
00:02:04
expendables this is like the prequel expendables one really i don't know what's expendable it's like
00:02:12
talking to drake a farmer's kid i don't know whether i don't know anything do you know who john rambo is i
00:02:18
mean do you know who rocky balboa is no you don't know who rocky balboa is telling her what rocky volleyball is rocky balboa was a famous blind fighter
00:02:30
a one-armed famous blind fighter from johannesburg south africa he was very famous joburg south africa
00:02:37
and he was half black and halfway but it's a movie that sylvester stallone did yeah he played it right this is before
00:02:43
this movie right it's what it's what made him famous and this before cgi by the way so he had to yeah he had to
00:02:49
have one arm like tucked and taped to his back the whole thing you know what they did was they had a harness
00:02:55
oh it was a face yeah so his arm was tied to his body like this and then they had a prosthetic like this
00:03:02
and there was this one if you see the behind the scenes yeah bloopers he was running and then the thing fell off the actors in the eye yeah yeah
00:03:10
yeah and so here's the here's this guy from johannesburg south africa yeah and yes half black and half white yeah
00:03:16
now when you say half black and half white what do you think in your mind what do they look like
00:03:22
they have light skin right right but this he's physically half like half black half of his left side of his body is black and half his right is white
00:03:34
so the side with no armor and and and here's the opening song of the [ __ ] movie right one half
00:03:42
is going ability and so anyway rocky balboa this one-armed half-black half-white guy he decides to take on apollo do you know
00:04:06
who apollo is he's the he's like a lord like he's we have our galaxy right but we have a
00:04:12
universe he's the lord of the universe he's the god of the universe like apollo you know me like a god and
00:04:19
part of this whole thing is rocky is homophobic and apollo is out outwardly he's openly gay and so
00:04:26
they get into a full ma a fighting match about whether or not you know well he brought apollo brought
00:04:33
aids he brought 18 to the earth that's what the in the movie so rocky's trying to beat aids the whole film that was like what the whole
00:04:39
film is he's fighting for fighting aids fighting intergalactic you know intergalactic aids basically intergalactic aids and yeah
00:04:46
what and what happens in the movie is rocky you know i told you he is from philadelphia he's born in johannesburg and then he starts fighting in philadelphia because that's
00:04:56
you know that's obvious that's where all the homophobes are and he fights and he beats he beats apollo he
00:05:03
beats the guy who brought aids down and that's kind of the beginning of sylvester's career
00:05:09
yeah and also that's why he's so familiar but they did another movie like as a sequel but it wasn't like he eventually you know rocky gets
00:05:17
the hiv he got to he gets hiv give it to tom hanks in the movie philadelphia that's right that's why he died two
00:05:23
right so you know tom hanks right he dies from hiv yeah of course but he got it from
00:05:29
rocky balboa and here's a little behind the scenes but it's like intergalactic aids but they don't really mention it in
00:05:34
philadelphia space aids space yeah and he ended up giving it to charlie sheen but in real life
00:05:41
can i see a rocky balboa the picture of him yeah i'm sure you can find it okay yeah find a rocky balboa
00:05:47
picture find the rocky balboa picture there he there he is there he is look you can see the right side is white and
00:05:53
the left side is obviously more dark see that arm right there yeah yeah that arm gets ripped off
00:05:59
no this is right here right it's all fake it's all fake so on the left side you can tell that
00:06:04
he's black on the left you can tell he's white on the right see how the shading so the right side is dark
00:06:10
the left side is white and that's actually the beginning of the movie where he sings
00:06:15
ebony ivory that's it yeah so it goes that's it yeah that's it that's it so you should watch those movies that's why it's like so good you should watch some
00:06:27
of these older movies who killed at the brea improv by the way bro oh my god rude you destroyed so she
00:06:36
did she uh uh honestly yeah she did she not killed she killed yeah the crowd went ape [ __ ] people
00:06:43
don't for people that don't know me and bob did a little tuesday night it's bobby lee and friends we did a tuesday night at the um at brea and bob brought me down and
00:06:51
we you know last week's show we did the script for rudy and man let me just put it can we see it no no
00:06:56
no no don't put it don't don't do it yet okay let's just put everything into context though okay okay sold out that's not what i'm
00:07:02
gonna say but it is sold out it was all mexican and whites again no blacks at this show
00:07:08
three three we counted and there are a lot of asians there's a good amount of asians yeah but no black people which i love so
00:07:14
um for you because you don't get any black fans you know um you don't they don't like you do you want to make me angry or no no of course not yeah because i'm just no i have to
00:07:29
address that okay no don't roll your eyes i did when you roll your eyes are so gross
00:07:35
so um when i play michigan or yeah cleveland or you you they come out black people yeah okay take a picture i will take a picture
00:07:47
with all your black fans yeah and upload it and then you know i would let's make a contest to see who how many more black
00:07:52
fans i have than you fine okay fine so let's put this in the context um i'm just gonna be positive today and
00:07:59
i looked in the mirror today when i woke up and i was just like i'm good enough no i wasn't i'm just like don't get angry today don't get
00:08:05
angry don't get angry every time i said i got more angry but my point is so let's put this in the context
00:08:10
give the context um so the night before she couldn't sleep and for 24 hours probably even 48 hours she was just like doing every kind of angle in terms of
00:08:20
like convincing me not to go up and i was just basically saying all you have to do is introduce us and i'm i'm getting her ready for
00:08:27
and if you think that we're bullying her to do it no because we have a gig in um cancun november yeah and we're
00:08:34
it's front of a live audience she's gotta be there and i want her to be used to an audience yeah
00:08:40
right so it's like it was like and we're not humiliating her and also i was gonna put her up on a stage just
00:08:46
on her own but i didn't do that i was on stage with her yeah you were up there with her it was
00:08:52
nice do you make it safe right so um play it killed it let's see it um why don't you guys give her the love right that she deserves
00:09:04
everybody they're chanting positive the the quality of this is just it's just it's it's i mean it's like what did we shoot
00:09:20
this through spielberg directed it he did so good wow all right well let's see what steven was able to come up with
00:09:30
so um i'm gonna sit over here on the stool to see if everything's gonna be okay all right
00:09:54
pause it what are you thinking right here rudy what's going on in your head right now
00:10:00
the crowd there's 500 people going rudy what are you thinking i was farting a lot before so i thought i was gonna okay
00:10:11
could i just i thought i was gonna poo what's up with you man yeah you're you're great you're great but here's what she did that was clever
00:10:22
what say you get what you get nervous when i get scared my stomach starts to you know bobby and i can both
00:10:27
tell you as comics sometimes before shows i used to poop i used to poop before shows oh yeah because i get the butterflies i get
00:10:32
butterflies yeah i got butterflies that night did you oh yeah so what you've got to poop but you didn't
00:10:38
no but she did a thing too many people so funny and she didn't mean to do it what but she doesn't she did the thing
00:10:44
when she walked onto the stage as if she had been living in a cave for 50 years so she was doing you know she walked up like what is this place like the lights just came out it came out it was a
00:10:55
really funny like it almost made the audience feel like oh yeah she doesn't give a [ __ ] this is great
00:11:01
yes well yeah did you give a [ __ ] you didn't look nervous you look like i don't give a [ __ ] she looked like i shouldn't care
00:11:06
all right let's see hello you can say hello crush and get a laugh i mean there's something special going
00:11:24
on she went up hello yeah yeah she acted well it was like that the same thing where it's like
00:11:29
when people get captured and they get blacked out and then they wake up in a forest tied to a tree that's the hello that you do
00:11:36
hello who did this yeah amazing all right good let's see next okay um pause let's not use force ever again
00:11:51
yeah okay we didn't force you to do to do anything we're not force you to be here no you enjoy it partially
00:11:59
yeah and you wanted to do it okay let's see the rest but they wrote the script so i'm just
00:12:04
gonna read it already getting a round of applause a round of applause for chad she doesn't know the name she doesn't know the name i know the name i thought you know the name but you made
00:12:26
it seem like you're so indifferent yeah that you didn't and that's clever yeah that was funny chad yeah you knew a
00:12:33
chat what was the other guy's name chad and who there was tj there you see you know yeah
00:12:38
yeah and then the other guy who's the other guy jt his name is jt that's letterhead okay oh it's fine it's just
00:12:45
who's the other guy's name the taller white guy i forgot strider strider remember
00:12:51
tall white guy he kind of looks like yeah name everyone in the room in there so who performed elianor elliot what eleanor eleanor
00:12:58
elliot or carrick ignore her eleanor eleanor yeah who else annie yeah danny yeah
00:13:04
you correct yeah that's correct a chad yeah jt yeah and then i forgot i can't you literally just said it you said it again spreader
00:13:18
spreader are you guys having a good time [Applause] this guy knows i'm talking about they
00:13:39
know they get that when she had a right she read it off the thing i know that's why i think that if we do this
00:13:46
just hear me out even even if we wrote her a set it would crush it she had really read
00:13:53
off the paper just like you did like just like you did look at her panicking already right just
00:13:58
do it yeah just do it so anyway let's play the whole thing now okay [Applause] what do you do for a living [Applause]
00:14:15
nice okay you guys ready for more shows why don't you guys stand up and make some noise let's do a wave
00:14:48
[Laughter] jesus christ okay um i have to divide the room outside it has to say bad and the left side has to say yes
00:15:27
um it gives me the utmost pleasure to bring the next comic to the stage he is arguably
00:15:35
the better and the nicer tito all right i mean okay dude there was a rewrite she did the
00:15:49
rewrite she she did her own rewrite i i have a feeling that you were in the room did i do the rewrite for you or do
00:15:54
you did it i did it yeah i told you okay i didn't have any good rewrite so um [Laughter] how did you now right right when you're getting off the stage
00:16:06
be honest with me yeah give us our feeling your feelings your real feeling um i was relieved
00:16:13
and i had a headache and i just wanted to go home really appreciates it really was sitting in the moment but he i was relieved i had a headache i
00:16:26
wanted to go home what drives me crazy and bothers me about that statement i swear to god that's not entirely true
00:16:32
well yeah why was she lying no because she can't get her to herself to admit the actual feeling that
00:16:40
she got from it yes it's relieved when she says relief there's other feelings in there
00:16:45
right right that's in that little box that you have to kind of separate yes there is relief that you
00:16:52
did it but there's another thing right because it went over way better than you thought it was going
00:16:58
to that true i was kind of happy that i did it no but did it go better than you thought it was
00:17:04
gonna go yeah i thought no one right so that so when so when you're getting laughs and those
00:17:11
reactions right that must have been a surprise to you yeah at the moment and i know because
00:17:18
andrew and i have been doing this for many many years yeah right we know what that feeling is it's like telling a
00:17:25
heroin addict and you if like a kid that's never done heroin do you feel it no it's like we know you feel it because
00:17:31
we do it yeah you do feel yeah you didn't feel something special inside of you a little
00:17:37
yeah why didn't you say that then it doesn't matter it does matter it does matter yeah that's so funny though she's right because it's fleeting because you didn't
00:17:47
buy into the feeling because you know it was only temporary she's way ahead of her but that's not it men i disagree
00:17:53
i absolutely disagree yeah what is it because i know and this is i i i have to believe that this is a
00:17:59
universal human feeling is is that i know that when i do something great like either i i i do a good scene in a show or i have a great set or something that
00:18:10
that feeling is residual it's like a residual feeling it lasts for days you might not know it
00:18:18
right but you'll lay in bed and it'll you'll glimpse back right right and you'll think about
00:18:23
certain moments and that gives you endorphins that makes you it makes you feel good yeah no
00:18:29
it does so you can't tell me that you haven't had those moments i had yeah so can we go back to how we were feeling then
00:18:40
no okay better help andrew is there something interfering with your happiness or preventing you from achieving your goals yes good because i have the solution for
00:18:52
you better help me and kalila my girlfriend and i used better help during the pandemic we still use it today and it really is
00:18:59
the best thing for it was the best thing for our relationship it's not a crisis line it's not self-help it's professional
00:19:05
counseling done securely online and you can start communicating in under 48 hours
00:19:10
betterhelp will assess your knees and match you with your own licensed professional therapist andrew it's pretty incredible and for clients
00:19:16
worldwide you guys you can use this from any part of your home or wherever you are all over the globe which i think
00:19:21
is great they're committed to facilitating great therapeutic matches they make it easy to change counselors so you can switch you can go to somebody
00:19:26
else bob and i both believe in this uh i think it's really wonderful that people are getting uh mental uh
00:19:32
joel's used it jules used it yeah jules use using it we're all we're all doing our best and trying to uh
00:19:37
get through tough times and i think speaking to someone really does help so if you're in need of uh finding yourself
00:19:42
some help i do think betterhelp is a wonderful resource to do from the comfort of your own home
00:19:48
betterhelp wants you to start living a happier life today uh visit betterhelp.com
00:19:53
bad friends that's help and join the over 1 million people have taken charge of the mental health with the help of an experienced professional
00:19:58
uh in fact so many people have been using better help they're recruiting and additional uh counselors in all 50 states so this podcast is sponsored by
00:20:04
betterhelp we're a big proponent of of um mental health and this podcast is sponsored by betterhelp and bad friends
00:20:10
listeners get 10 off their first month at betterhelp.com bad friends that's betterhelp.com bad
00:20:15
friends doordash when i was in hawaii shooting magnum during the pandemic the only uh food service delivery option that i went to was um doordash
00:20:26
because they were the most efficient they were the quickest and they have the nicest people doing it i think the app is very
00:20:32
easy to use that's what i really like about it sometimes now they're getting too complicated doordash has everything not just food
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of your first order with doordash subject to change terms apply is this post show what is this oh there
00:21:44
was a little post show look at that moment killed it are you pressing charges there's so much happiness in your face
00:22:14
right there yeah there's the the amount of joy is incredible kalila was crying what are you doing what is that because i remember let it out no now when you look at me
00:22:28
kind of stop all right go ahead but um there was there was a moment where um so i get off stage right and i see klyla running right
00:22:41
running toward the green room because she was in the audience right and i remember looking at her and
00:22:46
i don't know what came over me but i did a move i went like this what is that like a success yeah like that yes like you felt it and she could have did a hop yeah
00:23:01
we at the same time i go yeah and she does a hop right and i go yeah yeah i'm just
00:23:07
yelling yeah right i was so like are you getting teary-eyed i was yeah but now like when you look at me it just you have a way about you it just sucks it away i get angry when i
00:23:18
look at you so um okay i love you okay but why i was trying to share the moment with you that
00:23:24
we'll be getting what are you doing right now you started that you're going right now i was jim being nice i was being nice no i i noticed that
00:23:29
don't look at me when i get emotional okay fine it takes me out of it well that's what you think that's a you thing fine go be emotional i'm not i'm done
00:23:36
with that no i'm done with that i'm done but be emotional i'm done with being emotional but my point is is that there was a sense
00:23:42
of relief for myself too because it could have gone the other way and it could have been traumatic for her
00:23:48
right stop doing that i'm done well i don't want to look at you now no i have no feelings so look at me again god
00:23:57
this is kind of nice doing the show like this is great yeah hey but there was a those did you feel
00:24:02
proud honestly i really did i thought it was one of those things where i knew you were going to do great just
00:24:07
because i think you know sometimes things line up right but the next time she does it is going to be a disaster yeah
00:24:13
that's what you have to do with a second time yeah you're going to buy yeah you're going to eat chips yeah you have to experience heaven and hell yeah otherwise it
00:24:20
doesn't exist yeah how do you know if one is good if not if you don't know what's bad yeah you have to know let me say
00:24:25
something if you had had a bomb before that that would have been 10 times more ugh
00:24:31
you know it would have felt oh my god it would have felt so amazing imagine her bombing in cancun oh she
00:24:38
will that's going to be funny when would she make her do 15 minutes of stand up she's gonna buy no not 15 minutes
00:24:45
yeah that's what the contract said it said 15 minutes it literally said bob and i have to do an hour together and you have to do 15 minutes to open the
00:24:50
show yeah one minute no just negotiation your contract was with the [ __ ] festival imagine that like like if she's held hostage i know and she and they're like
00:25:01
give us a hundred thousand dollars and she's like one dollar [Laughter] that's her negotiating just one dollar
00:25:08
or later you know how sometimes you're a hostage and they make they film something right yeah yeah i filmed this you had to
00:25:16
plead for your life right she goes help me do you want to get let out of here do you want to have someone come save you yeah go tell people to come help you take a
00:25:28
lie help me that's it she's gonna be dead they'll kill you right away they go this
00:25:33
kid's worthless yeah but i have something else i want to talk to you about okay i think i saw a great
00:25:38
show last night and i saw the full first season last night what you're not gonna like it what is it called manifest
00:25:47
manifest yeah what is that about it's some [ __ ] abc or cbs why is it [ __ ] because it's like lost oh i could yeah yeah this is it yeah it's like lost so
00:25:59
it's basically what the here's the premise can i tell you the premise a lot of white people yeah
00:26:04
there are some blocks a lot of whites for nbc yeah it's a lot of zoom in on their nbc is there any browns
00:26:10
um there are i think the wife is a little greek that doesn't count dude greek is close oh there's an indian there's an indian
00:26:16
girl as the the far the far left right there is an indian girl i know but they just make it look like
00:26:22
she's not right like this poster from far away are all those people white yeah i remember seeing that poster on
00:26:28
like sunset boulevard going look at all those white shows but i watched it i watched the full season it's good huh
00:26:34
so no it's not no it's bad but the premise is this okay can i tell you the premise i'm listening
00:26:40
well the reason why i'm watching because i was on netflix last night yesterday i was like um what's trending i don't know how that
00:26:46
works this was trending yeah like top ten yeah so i gotta see the first pilot so this is
00:26:53
the premise this family so this is what okay there's a family in jamaica not they're not jamaican this family is in jamaica yeah they're on vacation uh in jamaica
00:27:06
okay come on so it's the central two leads is a brother and sister they're adults
00:27:13
right and they have um the brother has twins and his sister is single but she's a cop oh right and they're there with their elderly parents and so
00:27:26
they're at the airport and the announcement goes you know how we're overbooked right so anyone wants to take a
00:27:32
later flight we'll give you a 400 coupon right when that happens at the airport i've
00:27:37
never seen anybody go me never once never once never won never once right i need to get to where i'm
00:27:42
going me too i don't you'd have to give me 40 grand let's be honest yeah how much what is
00:27:49
the lowest you'd take i mean i don't want to sound like a dick but the lowest i would take if there was like well here's the other
00:27:55
problem if there were kids with cancer you don't need to be there where you're going you're going a day early already
00:28:01
anyway yeah so you could actually get there tomorrow morning or to or later at the night flight
00:28:06
well the flight attendant or whoever the person is would have to come up to me and go listen
00:28:11
there's a kid that needs there's three kids that need kidney surgery three of them that sounds like so many people that need kidneys i know but
00:28:18
yeah all three of them are three kids that need kidney surgery okay and um the slightest book can you please
00:28:25
we'll give you four grand oh four grand yeah and you know no voucher i don't even know what voucher means cash now and you do four grand cash for gank yeah in cash
00:28:36
yeah if i have to wait the most i'll wait is five hours what if it's tomorrow morning well you
00:28:41
gotta get me a nice hotel room tonight tonight like four seasons okay four grand in cash
00:28:47
okay all right what what's so funny is that too much no i mean it's you know what i'm another fourth season how about just a nice i don't want to be in a holiday inn well that's where that's all we have sir
00:28:59
i'll do it okay perfect so we'll give you 4 000 in cash yes i'll take the holiday inn okay so we're
00:29:04
going to tell the families now okay sir this nice oriental man has decided to give up his seats for you
00:29:09
five grand you called me oriental what you can't see i'll come on sure before going fine i'll take
00:29:15
that i'll take the holiday and go ahead so kids we're gonna get you those kidneys that you need
00:29:20
because this nice yellowman over here has decided to give you i'm sorry you work for american airlines
00:29:26
i do i am one of the top people here i've been at the desk for 37 years yellow and also oriental no i don't
00:29:33
believe i said that but well i'm filming so okay yeah okay okay guys so wing wang wang
00:29:40
over here is going to give up his seat for you right there already i'm making 40 50
00:29:45
grand because of this really yeah i got sued this [ __ ] i'll sue everyone airlines this is crazy
00:29:53
yeah yeah you're not allowed to be me can i just finish the math [ __ ] premise i don't know if people care about manifest i want to just talk
00:29:59
about it i give it up go ahead and talk to that go ahead now i'll be the thing now i want to know i
00:30:05
do want to know all right i'm just gonna give you the purpose to see if you like it i know what is it
00:30:10
all right tell me all right okay so there's an announcement saying that um anyone take this voucher so the brother
00:30:16
and sister right i will take it because you know the brother one of his kids has cancer it's like it'll help you know anything will help right right so the brother and
00:30:28
sister and the kid with cancer stay the rest of the family leave they take a little flight
00:30:33
on the later flight right they're flying there's turbulence there's a kind of a blackout the the plane is shaking they go down right and they think they're gonna die but all
00:30:44
of a sudden they you know they level out they level up the power comes back on they just cut and they go sorry about the you know
00:30:51
that was crazy but um and then so they're approaching jfk or whatever let me guess
00:30:57
what yeah i guess this is what i want they time traveled yeah is that right yeah seriously yeah but in the past or the future well
00:31:08
that's what you have to guess um i think everything's going retro now so the past they go went back to the
00:31:13
past no oh they went future well i mean you have a kid that has cancer they're gonna go in the past what in the
00:31:19
1700s gonna [ __ ] dead there's no chemo back then funny it is funnier very funny it's funnier to
00:31:25
put in back then it is funny because they kill you though they go he's sick kill him yeah
00:31:30
yeah okay so they go in the future how long in the future hundred years five years five is a little bit short that feels like it's
00:31:36
very close i was opening five years five years okay five years because because the people i know they don't want to change the wardrobe that's what
00:31:42
it is that the people that flew ahead of them they still need to be in the show whether they are [ __ ]
00:31:48
a thousand years old now yeah that's funny because the kid the kid with cancer has a sister
00:31:54
who's a twin she's now right she flew before him right so now the kid is still eight with cancer and his sister who is a twin is now
00:32:06
12 or what i don't know what i right five years 13 or whatever right so it's like uh what no i danced it in my head too i literally went so that's the premise of the show
00:32:17
i like that yeah five years in the future five and a half years but the kid with cancer is but now
00:32:24
technology now is advanced advanced so the procedure that they didn't exist five and a half
00:32:29
years ago well the indian girl is the actual person that created it and she's on the flight she's on the
00:32:35
flight too right so she's right before the turbulence she's emailing you know the
00:32:41
doctor or whatever she works with and saying that i found the thing you know i mean oh she found the cure yeah or
00:32:47
yeah so five years in the future yeah and this kid's cure to cancer not yet i mean i'm only the first season
00:32:53
he's not cured yet imagine if he dies at the end of the first season i love it all that for nothing yeah i'd love it what he should do they
00:32:58
should just get back on a bunch of planes keep taking planes and keep time skipping to the 30 40 years in the future then he's definitely going to
00:33:04
live through it no it's a it was a one thing a nominal one time deal one time anomaly
00:33:09
but let's let's come up with something turbulence like that like that but what happens
00:33:14
instead of going in the past has it you don't know what happened you and i are on a flight in the middle of the night we're going to cancun
00:33:20
oh yeah let's talk about that so it was three and uh she's nervous so she's got a poo okay right rudy goes in the back just
00:33:32
like in lost right dominic monaghan is shooting heroin in the back in the bathroom yeah we need a reason for
00:33:37
can she be shooting heroin sure poo or heroin either one she could be poor and do it she's filipino so um she's smoking like
00:33:44
ice oh she's smoking meth meth like smoke yeah ice yeah she's oh that's what ice is made out of hawaiian
00:33:50
in hawaii yeah that's right so you're smoking meth and then like there's a scene where
00:33:55
you're sitting there and you're you have all that stuff out and then there's a no smoking sign right
00:34:01
and she does something rebellious like she spits on it yeah yeah right on the no smoking side
00:34:06
a close-up of the sign and it's just a chogi just wobbles down wobbles down and then
00:34:13
because of network tv probably the show that we're doing mm-hmm this is network yeah yeah this is on nbc you can just see the smoke you don't really see you
00:34:20
doing that well you see her go and then light the lighter and then as she goes to like smoke it it pans up to the no smoking right with
00:34:27
the very good with the spin i would love to yeah yeah so then we know she's smoking meth in the bathroom right
00:34:32
you of course are in first class in first class i am coach coach middle c middle seat between
00:34:39
two um two conjoined twins wins what they're conjoined at the head so their heads are above they're i don't know i'm below their
00:34:51
heads that's good writing have you ever seen the two girls that they're their heads yeah yeah you know those two girls look at the two girls i can't please i want to
00:34:57
see it for reference for reference but for reference i can't wait this is for the show we're
00:35:03
making our show this is our manifest do the ones where they're where they're grown teenager ones the team
00:35:09
they drive together they date yeah yeah oh they're at the body yeah they're at the body dude they're not the head oh why did i think they were at
00:35:15
the head so it's two heads one how about how about this this that's funny there's a great way one on the one end it's just
00:35:21
she's with the two heads the two heads you can do a bit where it's like you know because you can do a bit where one of the head
00:35:27
is coming into your space right asking me for asking me can i hear some of that right so you do a comedy thing
00:35:33
where you kind of do a yawn yeah oh and you're trying to push one of the heads towards their space yeah and the other and her
00:35:39
head knocks against her sister and the other one on the other side is somebody without a head oh all right
00:35:45
[Laughter] somebody no no no maybe their head didn't develop it's down here down here on the shoulder your shoulder head right so it's almost as like
00:35:58
you do a joke like you know i wish i could just can i just i just want to swap right something like that you know
00:36:08
shoulder head shoulder so okay so that's where i am and i'm in the middle of the season right but i'm scrunched up and i just it's
00:36:14
it's southwest so that it's funnier if i was there you are there no you would be the you
00:36:19
have to be you're on your way i'm in coach you're on your way back let's get there you're all art class i'm in first class you're hanging out what
00:36:25
happens your ipad dies [ __ ] you don't have a charger charger right so you go santino's got one yeah but you don't have chargers in coach i have one in my bag for you
00:36:40
because you're trying to swap seats you come back and go why can't i just like because this is in
00:36:45
writing right yeah i could just grab the charger and just i'll just grab it and i'll bring it back no you say hey can i
00:36:51
have your charger my ipad died and i said well you have to change you have to sit in this seat right and then there's a bit where i look at both of
00:36:57
them right and i have to think and then me and you both go i know i wish you could like we both get
00:37:04
it right right we both get it right we have a little laugh right and then you switch seats with me right right yeah now on my way to first class right
00:37:11
i close the curtain i say goodbye to you i give you a little wink of doodle i got a good one what i got a good one what when we land yeah right i'm
00:37:20
i've proposed to one of them [Laughter] like literally shoulder blades yeah or double no even the one on the other side there's two heads right the one at the window i've somehow developed a
00:37:32
relationship oh neck head but this one right here hates me okay okay yeah i get that but we're getting engaged
00:37:38
so you're getting engaged to the one on the right oh to one of the double downs yes okay so double downs double down oh yeah
00:37:44
yeah that's their name the double downs yeah so the double down you get in trouble for this why it's a movie yeah this isn't it's a
00:37:51
movie it's a tv show first of all yeah i'm showing nbc so here's the deal you propose to the double down on the
00:37:56
right yeah right yeah i'm in first class yeah uh you you get up because you need to find rudy
00:38:04
jules right but can i just say this though yeah i'll just throw something else in yeah
00:38:09
when i'm coming to get the charger and you go let's exchange right you know maybe i do it because
00:38:16
there's something even worse in first class that's sitting next to you that's next to me on first class what is it
00:38:23
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00:41:21
know who else who is somebody that no it's a kind of person it's a kind of person yeah right somebody that's sh
00:41:28
going to houston right to be on 600 pound life so so you've got a 600 pound human
00:41:33
being next to you yeah and they're falling into your seat they're folding and they're melting into this melting into your seat yeah so you have to sit there
00:41:40
oh yeah right so i'm with the you know what i mean double what double down what are you double downs the double downs and the down you're the
00:41:46
double down and the no neck and the head neck sorry the head shoulder head yeah shoulder is the funny thing about like you know going
00:41:53
so have you guys have you guys flown this um airline before and then and then they go yeah we have have
00:42:00
anyway right so it could be like a little comedy but i like that i like that yeah yeah i like okay so she's gotta get in the bathroom she's
00:42:12
been smoking meth for quite a while yeah so what's going on with her she hits her meth she hits her rock yeah
00:42:18
i mean it could be a funny moment check this out what she comes out of the bathroom she opens the door
00:42:23
yeah and nobody's in the plane it's totally empty we're here we're rudy's pov she's ripped up on meth and
00:42:29
she opens up and every seat is empty check this out yeah the door of the plane is open yeah
00:42:38
logic ensues yeah cabin pressure would be gone how am i still breathing how much alive right man this meth must be
00:42:43
really good yeah right yeah okay but she walks around for a second to look into the seats and then she freaks out so she
00:42:48
runs back into the bathroom closes the door yeah right and he's like come on chill out you know chill out yeah yeah this is
00:42:53
just you you're doing this to yourself you're doing this to yourself you're freaking out right oh so what you're saying is is that the ice smoking the eyes puts her
00:43:01
in a different dimension correct or a plane correct right so every she can visit this plane and dimension
00:43:07
yeah every time she smokes eyes but watching it i just i just as a viewer yeah i'm watching it's like
00:43:14
she's just done drugs like you know what i mean that's what she's seeing but it's pain medication
00:43:19
what we we we insert part of the story where because of her face and stuff and her
00:43:25
and who she is yeah and something's wrong with her yeah you can tell when you look at her something's wrong with her yeah and she needs the ice to survive so
00:43:31
people that are judging like she or she's doing drugs like no she that she needs it for medication ice ice she needs ice crystals
00:43:40
so check this out what this is rudy's pov this is actually rudy's show people don't know this rudy goes back in the bathroom smokes
00:43:47
rock again now when she opens the airplane door yeah she's somewhere completely different where
00:43:53
you tell me kid right and so it's called rudy's ice rudy's eyes that's the name of the show
00:43:59
that's what it's called rudy's ice so so when she goes back into different dimensions she has to solve some of the
00:44:04
issues right like she has to go back into the plane where we were because um a terrorist tried to take over the plane
00:44:11
the guy who was sitting next to me 600-pound life he was actually going to take over the plane that's what's really going on yeah
00:44:16
he's like i'm taking over this airplane right right and i and he's he goes up to the you know he holds one
00:44:22
of the flight attendants hostage so rudy now has to get back to that flight she has to save everyone's life it's like you know what it's like yeah you
00:44:28
know what's high what my name is earl you know he has to go fix all of his problems from his past yeah but it's my name is it's my name is
00:44:40
first of all i don't like the fact that it's her show it's her show no i don't like the fact that it's her show why not because you're throwing out this listen
00:44:46
i like the idea yeah i like the idea right rudy's eyes that's a great we keep that as
00:44:52
the title do you like the show no rudy rudy's eyes right i love rudy's eyes here's what i don't like it's almost as if we establish these great relationships with the double
00:45:05
we have the 600 pound guy in the front right we're coming back right i mean i wish we would land and then we
00:45:10
all have a purpose together what is our purpose so we land right mm-hmm welcome to um guys and we look out the window in either one of two things one thing is
00:45:35
we just see carriages like oh cowboy right okay we're in the wild west [Music] yeah all that stuff right or we land right and it's like you know hovercrafts and
00:45:54
the jetsons type of [ __ ] or or i i got even better we're underwater no no that's good that's good but here i have a fourth one okay we land we look at the window and we see everyone either in the out
00:46:06
there either 600 pounds or with the double heads oh that's everybody that's everybody oh
00:46:13
man that's everywhere in the lands of the fat and the double down oh the no heads yeah yeah right right and and us three are the only ones who look like singular
00:46:23
heads right and it's sort of like a reverse racism thing we're the outcomes we're the outcasts
00:46:29
and we get shamed right right so during the movie through the movie there's a scene where i go to like a
00:46:36
mannequin store or whatever and i chop off a mannequin head and i put it on my shoulder just so that i can
00:46:43
so you can be one of them so you walk around little man and then like we will see where rudy
00:46:49
gets a fat suit yeah oh yeah yeah yeah right right right and then we have a thing where you right we get a shirt
00:46:55
right a mechanism where the shirt ends here so it's my mom really tall weird guy you're gonna meet
00:47:02
with no head but i love it yeah i love it this is great so we're walking around town
00:47:13
me with no head you with the second head yeah and rudy's 600 pounds but she's trying to fight ice in this
00:47:20
world she's got to find ice somehow yeah we don't know the economy now we don't we don't know what's money i don't know how they trade yeah yeah this is good and we get
00:47:33
and then we get shamed right and bullied it's like it's a good message it's like a coming-of-age
00:47:38
tale yeah that also involves crystal methamphetamine yeah yeah yeah i like it do you like it
00:47:43
rudy's ice rudy rudy's ice i think that's it do you like this show will you do this show we have to go to
00:47:55
i swear to god we can get a meeting we won't get it sold so what but we could have the meeting can i say something real i'm not joking
00:48:02
yeah can we somehow set up a meeting to go to nbc pitch this show dead serious yeah okay pitch this show yeah and film it oh my get that we'll blank out their
00:48:13
faces and stuff i understand that but that would number one kick us out of this we may never get another we may not never get another
00:48:19
pitch again i know but that's funny it is funny and number two i don't i think i would be laughing so hard
00:48:25
that's what that what if they bought it by the way network notes you don't remember the network notes
00:48:31
okay let's go to the camera right so i'm back to the cable you know rewrite the pilot right okay we send it in right what are the
00:48:37
notes like we can't so the show can't be based on crystal meth guys yeah it can't be crystal meth can it be
00:48:45
crack no they'll say can it be like she has a a pharmaceutical pill addiction that's what they want oh that's what they'll
00:48:50
say yeah something that i'll give how about another thing or deadly um there's not enough diversity in the show that's that's the first night yeah can we make the double-headed guy black puerto rican or puerto rican in
00:49:02
there and then we're like we're trying to find a double-headed like a real person we don't want to cgi yet right you know how like in movies now
00:49:08
hard to cast we would make the double-headed person black i would do that as a writer right we would change that 100
00:49:14
yeah does it matter with the headless that's the pitch to a networking example that would be an argument does it matter
00:49:25
it's a matter of what the hell they're gonna say we're gonna see his hands we'd love some racial diversity yeah we're gonna see this so we'll make that you know what
00:49:30
does it matter what the headless oh my god that'll be great so what is the headless person yeah you only say arms yeah i'll
00:49:37
just say um in the head suppose we'll just put gloves out it'll be ambiguous but they they can see your forearms oh the four
00:49:43
unless we're wearing shirt long sleeves the whole show we'll make it yellow so it'll be asian so it's an asian guy yeah we'll make the asian
00:49:49
asian guy yeah okay perfect i already cast it right now oh you already know who it is
00:49:54
he'd be great he would be good as a headless man so now the black the the fat guy the fat guy in
00:50:00
the seat in the front yeah let me ask you this what if what if i'm the executive you're
00:50:05
we you and i really did write this okay this is a note and i want to see what you would say perfect so the 600 pound guy can he be
00:50:13
300 no no 300 is not big 400 not big enough i'm telling you we need 600 pound it's kind of the metric of of uh of obesity like the show's 600 pound
00:50:28
life it's very famous so we need a 600 pounder yeah but how do but then um as a a crane a crane
00:50:33
you need a crane i know but do you know anybody i mean would you reality show no but would you no get them off for real no no no we no we have to get a good actor oh there's no 600 pound actor no we make
00:50:47
it we make an actor eat the food oh we make someone do that for the role yeah it's called you know it's called
00:50:53
what do you call a method method actually we get a method of dialogue so matthew mcconaughey he lost all that weight for dallas buyers now
00:50:58
he's got to gain 450 pounds for our show yeah i think he would do it you think so just him blobbing out in the seats like yeah oh you knew who would do it christian bale bale would do it in the heart could do
00:51:09
it like that well how big was the woman that was in what's eating gilbert grape she was big 250 250 300.
00:51:17
there's literally no chance 300 way more no she hadn't been four or five there's no way there's no way
00:51:23
i'm i'm telling you dude i'm telling you she was let's take a guess what's eating gilbert
00:51:28
grape what's eating gilbert what's gilbert's last name your gilbert gilbert colon what's eating gilbert
00:51:34
gallon gilbert grape here her name was darlene cates and by the way we're not making fun of uh
00:51:39
overweight people but darlene uh darlene darlene darlene darlene darlene darling i love that song it's jolene jolene yeah jolene yeah yeah darlene kate was an american actress
00:51:52
rest in peace she died a couple of years ago she was [ __ ] incredible in this movie yeah how much did the mom weigh okay because that's the first
00:51:58
question asked on google 500 pounds told you wow kate has been written and weighed 500 pounds let's get
00:52:04
her she's dead she died we gotta get her anyway we still gotta get her okay we'll revive her yeah yeah
00:52:09
she died at 69. huh 2017. we can't get herself so you know what i i we should make this a
00:52:16
movie so not a tv show because all this network stuff is driving me crazy well because you're going through notes right now yeah because the notes and stuff they're going to change it all i want it to be eyes you know what you
00:52:27
could do though you just say just say when somebody's like hey here's a note just be like i think that's racist
00:52:32
that's all you have to do is say i think that's racist and they'll go oh i didn't know and then you're like yeah we don't want to have nothing to do with the race like no
00:52:38
that's the story point that's the whole point you know i mean ready i'll say this is what really okay so they go bobby they go bobby check
00:52:43
this out in the show in the korean spa show yeah so one of the network notes that i think we
00:52:49
all kind of collectively didn't really enjoy is there's a little bit of you want to be nude in it and you want
00:52:54
to do a thing where you windmill your penis around when you get out of the out of the steam room or you windmill it around you go hey
00:53:00
yeah yeah we just i don't think we just i don't think that's good for the show that's racist we'll leave it in i think that's a good
00:53:06
i think it's a great update in fact not only should you win million i think you should also i get with that right flap it flop it i
00:53:12
know smack it what is something as simple as this though you're right you're the right writer right so you
00:53:19
know that scene um where jimmy who's a white guy yeah right and he's eating corn
00:53:26
you know i mean could it be carrots that's racist you can't see wow that's racist how what what what about jimmy he needs to eat carrots
00:53:37
what do you mean why does he need to eat carrots instead of corn because carrots have a long history of oppression of white people no
00:53:44
yes they are character thrown at white people for many many years on stage yes you know that carrot farms
00:53:51
is sponsoring though they're spon they're giving us money yeah oh he'll he'll be eating carrots all day
00:53:56
okay okay good so there we go that doesn't work then it's the money thing though money trump's race money trump's race
00:54:03
[Laughter] i see rudy do you want to do any of this stuff she doesn't even want to participate today yeah what's up we're over here what are you going to do rudy's eyes rudy rudy's
00:54:14
your show i like it's fun she's on this show isn't she i know yeah um we do have the bobby lee's ready for a phone call oh the band the bobby lee's want to call us the bobby lee's we're about to get a
00:54:27
phone call from the band the bobby lee's because i've known about them for a couple of years but let's
00:54:32
approach bobby lee hello hello um this is bobby lee am i talking to the bobby lees hey
00:54:40
what's up i'm talking to two of us one one of us is in the bathroom and the other one is not feeling well today what's going on another one in the bathroom does he have diarrhea or
00:54:51
something i don't think so does he i can't i just texted him to get it to get back out here we'll see
00:54:58
our drummer is in the back room and who's sick um nick our guitar player is sick he
00:55:04
thinks he has pneumonia but is it covered it's kovin it's the delta variant i bet it's the delta
00:55:09
delta it's delta is it united or delta which one so guys guys i've known about your band
00:55:16
for a couple of years and i've always like really yeah that's crazy so who is they was there a teacher or
00:55:22
what i mean why are you guys called the bobby lee's it's kind of random it was like a
00:55:28
it was an accident i guess that were named that i had written a song called bobby lee which was um
00:55:37
like from our first record and it was i used to have these kind of psychotic episodes where i thought it was
00:55:42
possessed by different people and i named one of them bobby lee and it was not supposed to be the band name but then we got our
00:55:48
first show and we didn't have a name so i picked that very temporarily and i did not know that there was a famous comedian named that and then once we started playing
00:56:00
shows i definitely became aware of who you were because everyone asked are you based on hey
00:56:07
mackie's in the car what's going on we told him he asked if you had diarrhea oh yeah totally yeah well why do you why
00:56:14
do you have diarrhea right now bud you know man put stuff in my body it just i get it bro i don't really know but the thumb in there just gets all tangled in a web of lies and
00:56:27
deceit comes out painfully i get i get where do you guys live in the midwest where do
00:56:32
you guys live we live we're in woodstock new york oh new york yeah yeah because i think i listened to when i found out about your i think i listened to whenever something i really liked it but then i was like
00:56:43
confused about why you guys are called the bobby leaves but now um that you explained it
00:56:49
um yeah but i still want to hear more the demonic so you had demonic visions of people are you being real um yeah no i
00:56:56
i mean i used to have a really bad drinking issue and i would start to hallucinate there's a thing
00:57:01
called like alcoholic schizophrenia that i didn't know about until i had it um and i quit drinking
00:57:07
and now i very not very often do i think um well can i get that can we get some of
00:57:14
the like the um the psychology behind it like where does the word bobby become like
00:57:19
who's bobby in your life and what does lee mean to you like how did that happen do you know what i mean i i have no idea
00:57:24
i was sitting in an apartment and um i used to think like my radiator was talking to me at the time maybe i shouldn't be talking because
00:57:35
you know i'm a recovering drug addict and alcoholic myself and i relate to those psychotic breaks i
00:57:40
mean i've had them myself you know i mean so i think it's interesting and i and i and i believe you are you sober now or
00:57:47
yeah i am yeah congrats for how long um six years bobby's going on now i only have a couple years i've had six seven at 17 years i relapse and i have a couple years yeah here's what i want to
00:58:00
do you guys i mean i know because of covet and the pandemic it's probably touring's out the window but
00:58:05
if you guys ever play in la at the troubadour or any of these places or spaceland is that still there you know
00:58:11
yeah um give us a call and we'd love to come see you yeah we would love we would love to come
00:58:18
we actually start we start touring next month and we're going to be in la in november i don't know what
00:58:23
date yet or where but we will be there please reach out to we'd love to come and see you yeah do you guys uh are you
00:58:29
writing a song right now called the andrew santino by any chance or no um if you wanted to write a song
00:58:36
[Laughter] have you guys ever heard our show at all or no we heard about it when someone said we were on it and we were
00:58:47
very excited but i knew about you andrew i saw you on um i'm dying up here right
00:58:53
that was awesome oh thanks yeah well we like you guys we think you're cool we were interested at first we were we were gonna um we were gonna seek
00:58:59
legal action bobby wanted to sue for the likeness of his name he was going to sue you guys for
00:59:05
50 million that's what he said 50 million we've made no money yet so oh yeah we're kidding we're kidding no we're kidding we're going to see you guys in november thanks so much for talking we're going to be there the bobby lee's
00:59:17
baby thank you guys so much and thank you for having us on yeah bye bye guys bye can we play that video with that woman real fast i want you to see this is funny it's not
00:59:28
this whole karen thing is annoying to me now it's like all right enough like it's annoying yeah but also this did make me laugh
00:59:34
because of what she does have you never heard of a leash in the city uh really really
00:59:41
yeah okay we'll wait for the police to clear it up so he says which country should i go back to karen because apparently before the video she said go back to whatever country you're from yeah the reason she's mad is because
00:59:59
these people are running this is in new york with their dog off the leash they're like on a path to the dog of the leash she's mad that the this is but here it
01:00:05
is this is very funny to me go ahead huh say it now you now you can't get your toes
01:00:24
this psychopath tried to clap their dog into the street freeway [Laughter] look i'm not cool with it but i was like this woman's so [ __ ] nuts that's crazy come on pepe
01:00:38
watch your camera imagine if the puppy did it ran out there a mack truck runs the puppy
01:00:44
over right look at this this what do you think would happen to her no nothing no nothing she'd run away she'd run but she's on tape i know there was a video out of a white
01:00:55
woman yeah calling it a puppy away and the [ __ ] truck ran him over this woman would be
01:01:03
gone disappear her whole life would just disappear again when she goes on the street it's not funny come on puppy i'm sorry
01:01:15
she hate this girl insane i hate this woman it's i'm not okay with it obviously i
01:01:20
have a dog i love dogs but it made me laugh at how insane it was because she didn't know what to do yeah because they got her and she's like okay
01:01:27
i'm gonna double down she doubled down hard i'm gonna clap your dog in the street what do you like this woman rudy
01:01:33
no if she does that i would kill her what would you do would you admit violence on her you would the boys
01:01:39
like it yeah no i honestly be honest if she killed like stubbs even you i would kill her for killing stubs you love stops your other dog's not as much but yeah yeah but stubs for sure she's the best
01:01:55
oh my god so if she stubs you know because stuff's a great dog phenomenal you know what i would do what
01:02:02
look at this you know what i [ __ ] do i would do that thing in game of thrones what tie her up i would tie her up and i would take the
01:02:15
bucket a bucket right a wooden bucket right and put 15 rats in there tie it to her
01:02:20
stomach then light this end right so the [ __ ] rats dig through her stomach and eat away
01:02:26
through her spine to escape and while she's screaming [ __ ] out [ __ ] you my [ __ ] dog man you don't [ __ ] with
01:02:37
my dog man that's so [ __ ] up i like that though you're standing up for stuff no it was really good
01:02:42
i hate this woman i know she would die she's nuts i would just caught i would cut off
01:02:48
slowly little tiny bits of her hair of her body well you know have you ever seen if you're seeing a video of a like a blade saw that's
01:02:55
spinning fast and if you push stuff up to it it just disappears oh no i've got something better
01:03:04
so you take bamboo right and at the edge of the bamboo you make like spikes sharp sharp and bamboo grows
01:03:10
gradually right right right and so what he would do uh pol pot with thai people kids oh my god oh my god
01:03:18
and put like spikes of bamboo in their fingers and their fingers and it would just slowly grow into their
01:03:25
bodies right but i would do that to her titties okay but she killed my dog i get it context she guessed it she's got it she gets what she deserves yeah let me tell you something the funniest thing
01:03:37
that happened stubs was brought to the improv to the bray improv two things one the moment that warmed my heart was stubs is i had my arms like
01:03:43
this on your at your house yeah on sitting on the um stoop yeah and my this hole in my arm right here
01:03:49
yeah is perfect for what a dog a dog head yeah stubs walks up behind me and puts
01:03:55
right through this hole and then leans on my on my hip i almost [ __ ] i almost fell into i almost i could if if god gave me a heart attack yeah with the dog like that fine if my
01:04:08
heart was like and stopped yeah stubs on my hip fine the best fine it warmed my soul and i
01:04:16
sat there and i couldn't believe it i looked around i was like stop so stubs came to the improv and
01:04:22
this made me laugh harder than i've ever left bobby's trying to order stubs food they have a full kitchen at the
01:04:29
improv okay and rudy says get him some chicken right get stub some chicken bobby says get me
01:04:36
two chicken strips so they get you two chicken strips and then what do you say just take off the breading
01:04:45
you could have just ordered chicken the whole time you could have just ordered chicken so they got you a bunch of chicken strips and then he was trying to peel
01:04:52
off the breading grilled chicken breading could be pre-packaged that way right like frozen uh-huh like you know yeah they're frozen for sure
01:05:04
yeah right so like when you go to mcdonald's you get chicken nuggets right they don't put the breading on the
01:05:10
[ __ ] chicken it's already pre-made yeah right yeah so i thought that the chicken strips are pre-breaded they are right yeah i
01:05:17
didn't know that they had regular chicken so i just got two chicken strips so i could take the breading off you thought
01:05:23
they didn't have regular chicken no okay okay how bizarre that's not weird it is
01:05:28
it's not did you think they had regular chicken no you guys are weird no you're weird i
01:05:33
think in this cert scenario honestly what you're weird because it's like chicken sandwiches chicken patties i don't eat at comedy
01:05:40
clubs i don't know the menu right you've never eaten at a comedy club you had a pretzel every time we've gone down yeah that's the only thing
01:05:45
because i know that because i saw somebody eat else eat it like oh they have pretzels you didn't look at the menu so my point is is that
01:05:52
i oh i know every place has chicken strips yeah yes everything yes yeah right so
01:05:58
i'm like and chicken sandwiches yeah maybe breaded pre-frozen i don't know if it's grilled okay yeah so i think my logic the yeah my logic is
01:06:08
correct in this oh yeah 100 i'm telling you no and you're so funny you're trying to shame me when it comes to laundry the first thing that i would get i would
01:06:15
say is do you guys have chicken breast yes we do yeah can i have some yeah that's where i'd go yeah but since
01:06:20
i don't eat a comedy class i don't know what the [ __ ] they have you've never eaten you didn't eat when you were coming up you didn't eat when you were
01:06:25
coming up here's another thing you never ate at the improvs on the way up here's another thing all right the improvs a lot of them are
01:06:32
attached to an umami burger well they used to be where they used to be right yeah copper in my head right
01:06:37
right i've eat i know that menu right they don't have a grilled chicken sandwich on that menu i do mommy burger yeah
01:06:43
they have a breaded chicken sandwich that's free bread so you do eat at comedy clubs
01:06:48
oh mommy burger yeah and so if i want to look at that menu there is no grilled chicken so in my logic all you know is umami burgers yeah so in
01:06:55
my head like you know i mean okay so you're wrong about this and it's so funny when you're wrong you get all no i'm not wrong yeah i look at you no
01:07:02
you would ask for chicken breasts no you wouldn't yeah you would no i can't even i can't even ask the boys because they don't know any better
01:07:08
no one would side you with you on this okay fellas pete what would you ask for a chicken breast or chicken strips and asked to
01:07:14
peel off the breading i'd ask if they had grilled chicken probably do you have a chicken breast
01:07:19
and they would go yeah it's funny a pete who's never been to a common club before yes he has pete have you been to a comedy club of
01:07:26
course how many uh through five yeah five that's it i've been to all of them now watch this watch this
01:07:37
yeah george yeah he's lying already he went he got excited george would you ask for uh would you how would you phrase it would you say do you guys have chicken
01:07:47
or would you say give me chicken bro give me chicken strips and then i'm in your mind you're just gonna peel off the breading
01:07:52
uh i would go with the chicken strips probably i knew it also could just say this dude it's not
01:07:57
that big of a deal do you know what a dingleberry is you do you know a dingleberry yeah i do it's like a piece of toilet paper
01:08:03
that gets caught in your poo hairs in your butt hairs i thought it was a little round ball of poo that's typically it's because toilet paper gets
01:08:08
caught in there and you know and stuff like that it's poo and toilet paper and hair it's all in your hair it's just the round ball of there's there's no
01:08:15
no yeah usually it's because they're pointless residue residue anyway but don't say toilet paper toilet
01:08:20
paper george is your dinner george is your dingleberry and we'll hold on to your poo hair as hard as he can regardless even if he knows that he would clearly ask for
01:08:31
chicken breasts now ask me if george is my dingleberry is george but that's not necessarily why he's saying that yes it is i think it's logic george do you not think you're bobby's dingleberry no i'm like uh
01:08:46
kalila's dingleberry for sure who are you more afraid of lyla or me be honest uh yeah that'd be
01:08:53
kalylah yeah oh really she's you're that much more scared of her she's so pleasant
01:08:58
what are you scared of she's maleficent maleficent yeah what a film yeah wait really are
01:09:03
you really scared of kalila well if she's if she's angry it actually means something and if he's angry what
01:09:09
it's a day of the week oh man hold on my hold on let me put on my seatbelt i don't think that's it dude i think that my anger
01:09:22
right you know that i'm half joking yeah right whereas klyla it's full commitment
01:09:30
there's no joke or when she's angry you know i could be i yell for no reason i could be fake angry or yeah trying to make a false scene right
01:09:41
whereas kalila is like really angry when she's angry and it's scary when she's mad she's actually very mad
01:09:48
yeah no i get it i get it yours is so i just want to say that the chicken strip thing that you
01:09:53
had planned not planned stop for a second it's not planned i talk it's half of my podcast as well barely all right it's so funny because
01:10:01
the chicken strip grilled chicken it was so stupid it backfired in your stupid face see
01:10:06
you're starting [ __ ] and you look like a fool today for bud and i think that um we're not cutting that out i just want the audience to know that you're a fool oh is it okay yeah yeah
01:10:18
okay you're a fool who's who's dumber you or me you're much smarter than i am thank you but in this specific
01:10:25
situation scenario you're the dumb one i'm the dumb one and you're foolish but see what an idiot would do is not understand the logic of asking for a chicken breast prior to asking for chicken strips
01:10:36
so so what smart people do i'm in a mexican restaurant i'm not going to say hey do you guys have jambalaya you're not a the improv
01:10:42
isn't a mexican restaurant no i'm not gonna go to like the improv is a [ __ ] comedy club that has bar food
01:10:48
and almost every bar in the world has a chicken breast sandwich some of them have a copper blue attached to them some almost every barbie burger
01:10:55
almost everybody has a chair my logic is i know for a fact let me tell you that when i stop i haven't figured out not when i go to a common club they always have chicken strips right yeah
01:11:09
i've never ordered first of all it's also an item i've never ordered i've never ordered chicken without some
01:11:16
sort of breading you know i know i can see that yeah now you go to because you're losing the argument now
01:11:22
you go to body shaming no you call me a fool and you and you and so you insulted me twice so me insulting you is only even you go to
01:11:28
body shaming so you insult him you call me a fool and so yes i'm gonna do that to you yeah yeah
01:11:33
but let me show you let me show their logic and it might be hard for you to pick up it's not and that's condescending now watch stop
01:11:40
now watch yeah yeah so here starting point right starting point bobby bobby needs right over here
01:11:46
chicken for the dog right instead of going hey do you have chicken for the dog bobby stopped off at the gas station
01:11:53
over here for cigarettes and red bull and went do you guys have chicken strips yeah we do okay good so now i have
01:11:59
chicken but also okay i need to come over here let's go back okay let's go back okay
01:12:08
yeah hey do you have chicken let me do you have chicken let me do it let me instead you went over here down here no no i'll get chicken strips i'll peel them off so no just do you have chicken then if
01:12:20
they said no then you oh do you have chicken strips we do so that's it all right this is my dog right this is me right this is the
01:12:26
waitress okay that's the waitress yeah okay are you making an insult about the way the
01:12:31
person that served us no it's just there's only three items but look look at that so it's like this now this
01:12:38
person me right has 50 000 things going on like what in charge of the lineup who's going what
01:12:44
i'm worried about her there's so much things going so many things going on so why did you have to handle the chicken right so what i'm saying is is that
01:12:50
people are barking kalila is trying to feed you right you guys brought something out of the car
01:12:55
that was like kind of you you didn't know if it was fresh or not do you remember you said that so you went to calendar go is this fresh
01:13:01
i have all these things going on in my head right in terms of lineups and i saw that the food that dog food that you had in your
01:13:07
hand that couldn't so i don't know i don't know what they have i don't have time to look at the menu so i go
01:13:12
just give me some chicken strips so we can you know in my head it's like it's not that hard it's not yeah and you're making a big
01:13:18
deal out of [ __ ] nothing thank you for being a bad friend [Laughter] arguing on something stupid [Music]
01:13:36
they always make movies i think the new training day you should be denzel's part no oh yeah
01:13:42
hey let's remake dude how funny would be training day remade same script but we put jewels as denzel
01:13:49
washington how great would that be it wouldn't make any sense it'd be so weird but i would love to see it you want to do it and and ethan hunt what and
01:14:02
ethan no we got to get so many other read with someone ridiculous as ethan hunt who should we get andreas yeah andreas is ethan hunt
01:14:11
yeah yeah i want to play the cube of gooding jr part was that no is that that yeah is that
01:14:16
that same movie right no that's that's american uh american gangster american gangster and then
01:14:23
cuba could you i think american gangster would be good another good remake we could do yeah with jules
01:14:29
absolutely yeah there's just so many movies if we they remade it with you in it that would just change it but made it
01:14:35
make it better in a weird way here's another one jewel starring in first blood rambo
01:14:46
this just just her walking down the street when uh brian dennehy you know he's in his
01:14:53
cop car and looks through his rear view window and sees you know i mean sees john rambo you know with his green fatigues walking down the street i think that right there
01:15:04
would get a 20-minute laugh in the theater [Laughter] and then you're like hey buddy what are
01:15:10
you doing around here man you know that's you know what i mean and just jewels lightly well uh i just
01:15:16
want to get something to eat you know and then that whole scene where she's she's in the cop station
01:15:21
and she escapes and then her falling off the cliff and then her her showing herself up hello
01:15:40
[Music]