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Bobby Swears He Won't Be Back to Coachella

May 17, 2026 / 00:57

This episode features discussions about Coachella, the return of Jesus Christ, and humorous takes on music festivals. The hosts share their thoughts on attending events like Coachella and Stagecoach.

During the conversation, one host expresses a strong aversion to returning to Coachella, stating they would rather go to hell than attend again. This sentiment leads to laughter and playful banter about the absurdity of major music events.

The hosts joke about the possibility of Jesus performing at a festival, with comments about Harry Styles and the Beatles. Their lighthearted exchanges highlight the ridiculousness of such scenarios.

Overall, the episode captures the comedic essence of music festivals and the hosts' shared experiences, making for an entertaining listen.

TLDR

Hosts humorously discuss their disdain for Coachella and absurd festival scenarios.

Episode

0:57

00:00:00

They were at Coachella, they were ripping it up, dude. >> I made a promise to myself, I'll never

00:00:04

go back. I don't care about it. >> Thank you. It dep- It I don't care if

00:00:07

it's the return of Jesus Christ, I'll go to hell. >> [laughter] >> Can you get

00:00:11

>> Whatever Yeah, return of Jesus Christ, right? I ain't going. >> Would he play the main stage, you think?

00:00:16

>> [laughter] >> They couldn't get Jesus on the main stage. Harry Styles is going to get main

00:00:20

stage. >> He's at Stagecoach. >> [laughter] >> That's so funny.

00:00:23

>> Jesus is at Bonnaroo. >> Yeah. I mean, they could do the return of the Beatles and have George and

00:00:28

John's bones up there, just you know what I mean? >> [laughter] >> I I I I would not go. You know what I

00:00:34

mean? I still would not go. >> marrying that marionette. When you get older,

00:00:39

>> [laughter] >> losing my hair. Yeah. Yeah. >> They read points of view.

00:00:43

>> [laughter] >> That would be so funny to see that. Taxman. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the taxman.

00:00:51

>> [laughter] >> You still wouldn't go. >> You wouldn't go. No.

00:00:54

>> You would never go. >> never go back.

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Episode Highlights

The Return of Jesus at Coachella?
A humorous take on whether Jesus would headline a festival.
“I don't care if it's the return of Jesus Christ, I'll go to hell.”
@ 00m 07s
May 17, 2026
Harry Styles vs. Jesus
A funny discussion about who would headline the main stage.
“They couldn't get Jesus on the main stage. Harry Styles is going to get main stage.”
@ 00m 18s
May 17, 2026

Episode Quotes

I made a promise to myself, I'll never go back.
Bobby Swears He Won't Be Back to Coachella
I don't care if it's the return of Jesus Christ, I'll go to hell.
Bobby Swears He Won't Be Back to Coachella
You would never go.
Bobby Swears He Won't Be Back to Coachella

Key Moments

Jesus at Festivals00:07
Humorous Speculation00:18
Strong Refusal00:55