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00:00:20
[Music]
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[Music] we're bad friends what did you watch last night
00:00:32
well it was a movie called the dark and the wicked and um I didn't know I've never heard anything
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about it so you know I saw it on iTunes I was like I'll look at some reviews and like I saw 30 reviews on YouTube so I
00:00:44
bought it I watched it last night oh it's so good the dark and the wicked oh yeah who's in it no one that you would
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know but um a lot of white people no I know a lot of white people I know but there's so many white people
00:00:56
you don't know all the white people you don't know we kind of know each other not all the whites well name one I don't even know their names I mean I've never
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seen them before the the dark and the wicked but it's like um
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it's basically I'll just tell you the premise of the movie oh by the way
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uh Marin Ireland know her Michael Abbott Jr I know him Julie Oliver Touchstone
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Lynn Andrews Tom nowicki Michael zags you know all those guys I know all these guys from your white meetings yeah my
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white meetings yeah will you do your Zoom white meeting what is it like a billion [ __ ] little
00:01:30
slots there well there's not there's not a billion of us there's not a billion white people I I don't think so I'm sure
00:01:36
there is well it feels because your egos are so big it seems like a billion there's 375 million Americans Americans
00:01:44
yeah how many how many of them are white I would say the dominant majority 45
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percent you think less than I think I think that um minorities or
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ethnic people collectively make up more than whites I think so okay so then we're 40 percent
00:02:02
so why are you guys complaining that you're the minority sounds like we're the minority pal we collectively we have
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to get we have joined forces like The Avengers you should to take on the great white ghost
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maybe you're right or complaining too much but the dark and the wicked is um about
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so it's in the country it's so scary yeah whenever I go to a farm I'm scared as it is I don't want to go anywhere
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near Farms I don't either like I've I've done Road gigs where I've driven by farms and I'll be with a comic and they
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go let's go touch a cow I go [ __ ] that nope [ __ ] that cow yeah I go move [ __ ]
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you and um I just don't trust it and uh so
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crazy [ __ ] happens on Children of the Corn well even real things like Ed Gein
00:02:53
Ed Gein Farmhouse Farmhouse who else what else what else was Farmhouse crazy stuff George George is born in a farm
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yes so that's all I need to know so um basically it's in a farmhouse and
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so um this older couple in their 70s right perfect the father's
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sick so he's like kind of in hospice in-house in that dying got tubes in the
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yeah there's a nurse there right and then the mother
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um is telling her two adult children not to come but they come anyway don't come
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Daddy's ain't gonna make he's not gonna allow something else don't come I can't tell you what it is oh don't don't give
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it away I'm not gonna okay but don't come because [ __ ] shit's going down around here well then you're gonna come
00:03:39
that sounds fun what's going on no no like levitating levitations okay [ __ ]
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moving around so but they come anyway like white people do because if my dad called don't come all right okay bye
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hello right back to video games no but you right I mean if your parents said don't come would you come why that no
00:04:01
yeah that is white Instinct I would go why why don't you want me to come something happened yeah Asian instinct is we trust you yeah there's something
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going on you don't have to explain it I'll go the other instinctual thing going on yeah we go home yeah yeah that's why I have to add another point
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of view that is when that's why I don't like now Asian horror movies why because the characters in the Asian
00:04:21
horror movies don't seem as scared right someone's like oh and they're just like
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no but like if they're zombies right we'll fight back zombie right and they'll pick up a sword
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right whereas white people run yeah right yeah so they don't seem as scared to me and who lives the whites
00:04:42
the whites live that's true and the Asians are like so the back to the dark and the wicked
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yeah um the the adult children calm right and then um
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well it's just that you can't give anything away I'm not gonna give it away but can I describe a scene well that's
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giving it away I know it's not the plot of the point of the movie I think it's in the trailer all right go ahead all
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right so um spoiler alert your spoiler alert it's late at night let me just say
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just if this happened to you what would you do okay okay your mom decides at
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midnight to chop vegetables oh I'm leaving no I'm not really write
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you down that I'm leaving yeah why are you up chopping vegetables at midnight right what are you doing and then what kind of kid are you to not go what are
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you doing mom what are you doing yeah we don't you're making the post pot roast now
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right so this is in silence right she was cutting so they go to bed the adult children like no big deal yeah cut you
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know she's going through something okay right and then she starts cutting faster
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yeah and then it starts going fast and she goes past the onion right right she
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goes past the onions cuts off the dad's dick no and starts chopping her own fingers
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right but not just one part just like it's like diced onions slicing dice yeah
00:06:08
yeah the kids wake up and they go to the kitchen and they see beautifully sliced
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onions beautifully sliced carrots right with fingernails and [ __ ] finger pieces
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I think pieces of finger and blood all over the place right and they're like [ __ ] what the [ __ ] going on right yeah
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and then they they go mom ride the yell out into the farmlands I
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don't know what they call it Farmland sounds right yeah yeah they yell out in the farmlands yeah Mom
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and they're just you could see them running around right and in the distance you know the the camera Cuts back pans
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out well the camera's in a I guess a farmhouse right it's zoomed into them
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yelling mom and as it peels back you can see the feet of the mom dangling from
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the farm she's she hung herself because she cut her hand no we don't that makes sense how does that make
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sense because if you accidentally cut your finger and you're like oh God I gotta kill myself right it's embarrassing it's the next step yeah the
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next step so that's how the movie opens right so then you know where does it go
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from there it gets [ __ ] so scary cool lots of murder not murder just suspicious things going
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on oh I like it did you watch it but no she does she won't watch it but [ __ ] but there's [ __ ] that goes on in these white
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people [ __ ] horror movies it's better they're very good because of your fright witnessing your fright right makes me
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experience what it's like to be you to be white exactly but you'll never be white never no I'll never be a coward
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that's we're not yeah and I'll never be weak you are very weak I know I am yeah
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you could be white I am white why are you so scared to watch horror movies rude I'm not this is how she watches
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no no no that's how she watches it okay
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she she goes into like a pill bug right yeah into a ball right then she'll take
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52 000 blankets yeah and put it on top of her right right in a ball
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and then one eye is watching the whole [ __ ] thing why are you so scared because it's scary but I still want to
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watch it but did you but when you watch him with with Tito Bobby and
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and uh well I was going to say but I know that
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I was I was gonna say talk a lot of girlfriends names when you watch it with them do you not
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you never get through it you have to quit early um or can you finish the whole thing I
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I see are you good at finishing in one sitting oh yeah I can't not because I'm freaked out or anything just every movie
00:08:50
every show I I gotta stop well it takes you out of the momentum no nah something I need a break like you know how you
00:08:56
need a cigarette once in a while I need to just walk away for a little bit you walk away and then you come back the next day a couple hours later next day I
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can't I can't do it in one swing any movie any show any movie movie theater is the only thing I can keep me in there
00:09:09
the whole time have you ever left a movie about a hundred times well you just
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stood up Star Wars which one the second one the second or third which
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one was the one that came out in it came out here we'll ask resident one of the resident dorks down below it's
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the one that I almost walked out I think is the same one two thousand it's the one where Princess Leia flies in space
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yeah whatever that was gone once she did that and she did that
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like Mary Poppins like flying through the space get out of here I I I stood up I left and I was I was making a decision
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that's ridiculous so annoying that's not a force no right I'm gonna go and then I
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with I was with people just leave you want to go and they're like nah all
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right you stayed I stayed you're a good friend oh this has got worse than worse and then like there was a part part in
00:10:05
there where like um what would which one was that they went to the casino when they went to the you know where they had
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the fat chubby Asian chick yeah which she's great actress by the way and she got roasted online yeah right well you
00:10:18
didn't help just now
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very talented actress sure she's she looks like me she looks like me but uh with a vagina because she stole the roll
00:10:29
that could have been for you no way when they say steal the roll that they're referring to your body type as well all
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right go ahead okay that's rude and you're being mean and that's mean you're what I'm not you learn that's gross
00:10:42
which fan which which which Star Wars is it it's the second one it was called um Return of the Jedi
00:10:49
is it return no which one is it um Andres yeah
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the Last Jedi yeah and it was the last time I watched one well you didn't see that that in follow-up no I wanted to
00:11:00
see the follow-up of it just to see what because JJ Abrams um was in the helm again right yeah so
00:11:07
he's like I gotta fix it yeah so I was just wondering could he could he fix it right but you know what
00:11:15
threw me off in the third one is when I saw the trailer for The Third One coming out yeah and at the end of the trailer
00:11:20
you do you remember what you heard someone laughing no the emperor oh right
00:11:27
and I'm like he's alive he's alive yeah they just gave that away the emperor's alive
00:11:36
the emperor the one that got thrown yeah in that shop in electricity ah remember
00:11:42
is it electric remember he was like zapping Luke oh yeah yeah he was zapping Luke right with his with his [ __ ] right
00:11:48
yeah his wizard [ __ ] right right he was like no no whatever he was doing Luke right and then [ __ ] Anakin or Darth
00:11:56
Vader not my son right he picks up right the emperor throws him and and the
00:12:01
emperor's flying was still with the electricity right with the electricity it's falling right
00:12:08
this is how far cheeky Falls
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yeah it probably hits the asphalt implodes yeah right explodes whatever
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whatever he does then you hear in the [ __ ] trailer he's alive he's
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[ __ ] alive so I but I saw it anyway yeah because I
00:12:35
want to see if he could do it that loud and he kind of did you know that reminds me of what do you remember do you
00:12:40
remember the original Batman Batman one do you remember Batman won well or no with the bite Bill Keaton um the
00:12:47
greatest one yeah that wasn't the greatest one best one by far oh I love this best one you're so you're blasphemy
00:12:53
best one by far why because of Jack Nicholson Jack and Michael together were two look great movie here's why great
00:12:59
movie when I was a kid yeah and I was a huge fan of Batman Batman's is my by far the only superhero I like yeah okay I
00:13:05
think Superman is whack I don't I don't like any of the other ones I like Batman and when I saw his face in the mask that
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looked like what Batman was to me it just made perfect sense and his voice was it was perfect and that scene and
00:13:20
that scene who directed it Edward James almost no who know who directed who directed your favorite Batman movie I
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know exactly who directed the same guy that helped write it he's the same guy that did over Edward Scissorhands yeah
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what's his name Edward James almost no that's his name
00:13:38
what's his name his name is he did he did a Nightmare Before Christmas did you not he did you forgot name tell
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me the name he did uh he did um yeah uh no I know it's Tim Burton but he did
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okay Tim did very good no I'm a huge fan did you go see the exhibit when it was at um
00:13:56
I went twice I put the stuff up you did yeah that was you I'm the one that was putting the stuff up they were yelling
00:14:02
at you I know they were yelling faster right no Burton the reason I loved it so
00:14:08
but that laugh that you did was remember when the Joker had fallen off the building uh-huh and he died and he was
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smashed into the earth below but in his pocket was the little laughing chatter that was a really good
00:14:20
that was a really good scene so I used to do that around my house my Mom would [ __ ] lose it I'd be in another room
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going yeah yeah and she would stop it stop it
00:14:31
yeah if you were I watched that movie a thousand times if I was a Batman villain yeah which one would I be oh
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[Laughter]
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[Music] who would Rudy be
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yeah for sure because you seem at a distance just like poison ivy physically
00:15:04
the plant it seems fine and harmless then what happens you touch it yeah yeah yeah it's paralytic you become
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yeah that's your poison ivy aren't you yeah George would be Bane
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the opposite the opposite uh George would be
00:15:24
yeah I I don't know there isn't one does it because I would Andres is the Joker no Andreas is the Riddler to me okay
00:15:31
Riddler Joker it's the next intonation they're two different characters I know but they came from one another
00:15:37
they're not Brothers they're influenced they influence one another they all influenced each other no yes how did the penguin get
00:15:43
influenced by any other the riddle gets influenced by The Joker they have a similar demeanor yeah but they they
00:15:49
weren't like you know like Riddler didn't call Joker and go hey man just let you know yes he did my style is based on your clothing they never had
00:15:55
they never you don't think I sat down I had a drink and gave him props no there was not like and he wasn't like I got most of what I have from you it's not
00:16:02
like JJ Abrams and Spielberg you know I mean that type of guy all right they're both Jewish I I think
00:16:08
that uh so you're saying that the first Batman first Batman is better than the Dark Knight The Dark Knight is a great
00:16:14
movie right but you love The Dark Knight mostly because of the visuals right but
00:16:20
in its time the Batman Batman for its time the original because without crazy special effects that we've got today and
00:16:25
the visuals that we're able to do today for its time was was remarkable Christopher Nolan isn't necessarily his
00:16:32
whole thing is less you know mean visual affection more real time it still has it
00:16:37
anyway I understand that but the thing is is you know number one The Dark Knight is a superior movie it's
00:16:45
not it really is you just like it because it's way more realistic it's more current what was not realistic about the original
00:16:51
if somebody falls into a vat of chemicals yeah they would die is this
00:16:57
Roger Rabbit what movie are you talking about now in the how does the Joker become the Joker in in the your version
00:17:03
of the Batman first of all first of all how does he become the Joker he doesn't fall into a vat what does he fall into
00:17:08
chemicals right he's he part of his body gets chemicalized you know he falls into
00:17:13
a gigantic thing of [ __ ] chemicals yeah but he does you don't know if they're corrosive we don't know if they're gonna kill you it's gonna kill
00:17:19
you that green [ __ ] the emperor is still alive
00:17:25
it's not real none of it's real you [ __ ] goof you want to say [ __ ] huh
00:17:30
goof [ __ ] I said goof you wanted the put the K in nope but you want to no don't
00:17:37
call me goof then it's too close to [ __ ] goof is fine all right you [ __ ] goof you [ __ ]
00:17:42
what it's goof what if it's goof goof
00:17:47
that's a good that's good that's really good ship station I love ship station Andrew
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me undies is the only underwear that I wear Andrew you know why because they're
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comfortable and they're cute as F they're cute AF you know what they don't do they don't ride up into your team
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they don't I don't like that underwear rides have been in my tush and they stay nice and cozy and snug to my thick daddy
00:19:31
thighs me undies is so comfortable and there isn't a bunch of seams all over the place also I just like the the
00:19:37
fabric they use and also the designs are really cute and really wonderful and guess what we got holiday designs coming
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undies.com bad friends that's me undies.com friends it's a better film
00:20:12
yeah it's my favorite look I think the Dark Knight is one of the greatest movies I've ever seen yeah it's incredible it's just I love Batman one
00:20:20
because it was everything to me as a kid because I could also say then that the second one [Music]
00:20:29
really good the second one is so good too what oh the second Batman with the Tim
00:20:36
Burton one yeah this yeah I think that was really good yeah and then after that it got it got insane it got real bad Clooney was maybe the worst Batman
00:20:42
choice of all time Chris O'Donnell closed closed the robin exactly there's
00:20:49
like we're not doing that ever again it's over game over why would we do that yeah yeah who else do you think who else
00:20:54
I've worked with them before I'm sure he's a great guy that's not his fault they're really nice it's a bad role yeah
00:20:59
who else could have been I wanted to say huh I wanted to say well there was because at one time he was sitting next
00:21:05
to me we're doing a scene and I want to say I just want to let you know it made me laugh I was gonna do this but I would
00:21:12
have took Chris O'Donnell I want to go I just want to let you know that I think that you're right Robin's the best
00:21:21
because there wasn't one why didn't you but I think it would have been funny if I would have said that he would have liked it no I don't think so why I don't think so you think you don't
00:21:28
think he knows you don't think he's enough I don't know but I just didn't know him enough to like because he could have gone way bad right so I just kept
00:21:34
that to myself but it made me laugh God that's funny but in your mind when you go please do it do it Bobby do it I
00:21:39
think I couldn't do it yeah now would you do it now no why enough time has passed I I because it's
00:21:45
like it's the same reason why I can't bring up um Bucky to Nick Swardson why
00:21:51
because it got such bad reviews on Rotten Tomatoes and I like the guys so I just don't want to bring it up
00:21:56
yeah but I think once things once things do poorly and we're past
00:22:02
them you have to be able to make fun of them particularly if you're a comedian yeah Crystal Donald's not a comedian I guess but with Nick or any of our
00:22:08
friends you've done stuff that flops yeah oh everything I've done but I mean we have to make fun of it all yeah and also Chris O'Donnell is like um it's not
00:22:15
his fault he's that's what I see yeah it's so funny because you know I was defending Cyril Silverman not not
00:22:22
defending what basically somebody was going to sell herself I'm like well you did black face on a sketch she did years
00:22:29
ago yeah yeah right right right right by the way we all did blackface on a sketch
00:22:34
I did I I did oh you did oh yeah I did a thing where I was um Jordan at Peels and
00:22:40
Keegan's third Brothers on Mad TV on Mad TV and I had to wear a ball cap and they painted my face black like blackface if
00:22:47
as an Asian guy it's a little different it's not as right it's not it's not the same I could be Tiger Woods
00:22:55
yeah you do but the thing is um but so I was defending um you look like Tiger Woods if he was a bowler
00:23:01
[Laughter] that hurt come on the burn though what
00:23:08
do you mean so um that's really good bowler
00:23:15
um but but Sarah Silverman did I I was like um well where was this people were attacking her online on Twitter and I
00:23:22
was just basically saying it's not as if like you know um you as an actor you have a lot of
00:23:28
control over things you have almost no control right people tell you what to do right you mean there's there's forces
00:23:34
that are more powerful than you you know I mean that are like convincing you to do something that you don't really feel
00:23:40
quite comfortable with right but you do it anyway because it's like you're on a TV show and you're just gonna do it well
00:23:45
also also the reason I imagine she did it because at the time I'm sure it's satire yeah I'm sure she was making fun
00:23:52
of this and it's also another thing is you know um
00:23:57
it's it's she has a pass when it comes to all the black comedians right know
00:24:02
who she is and knows what her heart is and she they know that she's doing something that's the problem yeah here's
00:24:07
the problem what black comedians aren't the ones that are upset about it I know it is period yeah so this is the issue
00:24:13
that's the issue yeah right like like any that's not the person that gets upset about it because people don't
00:24:18
understand the difference between the joke and the reality right I don't know what to tell you like it's just that's that stuff's hard well because look look
00:24:26
um Jimmy Kimmel he did a blackface guy he was Jack or somebody I don't remember
00:24:31
what he was and they tried to blow up his spot this past summer you know yeah and it didn't work it doesn't work
00:24:36
because because every per every black person he's associated with that was in that sketch with him yeah was like no
00:24:42
that was part of the joke some [ __ ] liberal annoying brat at their computer social the attacks were
00:24:49
from the right wing by the way wow oh because she's so far left yeah the attacks it from the right wing like you
00:24:55
did this but um you're a hypocrite that's why you need to be somewhere in the middle and
00:25:01
um I said remember before in the previous podcast I said John Wayne played Genghis Khan I don't really blame them because also the time period right
00:25:08
well yeah right right it's like when times change even 10 years ago we we have a different outlook on Race as we
00:25:16
do now right it's constantly changing we used to be able to beat Asians in public now it's a big you can't do that I used
00:25:22
to hit every Korean kid I saw on the street I know Japanese because you're a bully and you're a bad person no I'm not and I would never hit Koreans
00:25:31
but here's the thing about you though is um you know when I first met you I'm
00:25:36
racially ambiguous but I know you are you can't put me in a category I know but when I first met you right you know there was a part of me that's like um oh
00:25:43
he's a bully yeah in the just in the your first my first impression of you
00:25:49
right is that he's just the East Coast you know Midwest you know bullish but then I realized that he's you know a
00:25:56
softy soft you're a softy right well I'll beat the [ __ ] out of you if you make me mad but otherwise I want to be
00:26:01
your butt yeah I know but I'm working it out I
00:26:09
know you are there's been suggestions from fans that we get you help on the show that I need to get help on the show like what kind of help do I need no no
00:26:14
that we've already done that for you remember we got the cool we tried it yeah we need help for you we'll get a therapist in here George you want to
00:26:19
give me a therapist uh um for the next time and I'll do a therapy session an anger management therapist
00:26:26
and maybe it'll maybe it'll calm me down a little bit but I've been really good lately because I've been able to run again you know I know but I have um when
00:26:33
I can't run though I'm getting close to you do you know how I know this I know your spots
00:26:43
but I know the spots yeah right and I could say three or four things right now
00:26:49
right now in a row yeah yeah right that's going to take you to a level of rage right right right that's going to
00:26:56
just um destroy this whole building yeah right yeah I'm not gonna do it good boy you know why why I'm a good guy a good
00:27:03
guy right but I have even new information right and and facts oh and
00:27:08
things I could shoot you with oh right but I wouldn't do it right but that's how I'm not gonna do it I love you but
00:27:15
that's the kind of power I have and let me tell you the power I have
00:27:22
Gambit is the best show on television that's what my girlfriend says the best show on television I have to watch it
00:27:28
then it's it's you do you know it rude yeah have you seen it yeah oh so you can
00:27:33
watch it with Lila no I've watched it by myself how many episodes seven total have you watched you saw seven I'm still
00:27:40
on five it's a limited two there's only seven episodes in total yes I love chess do you play chess I'm so bad every time
00:27:46
I play I lose oh I love that you'll be me you'll beat me no way I'm dude honestly you know how it works though
00:27:52
what do you mean I don't want to play chess what do you do how do it works what happens you know how it works right well do you know how to play chess
00:27:58
not really yeah yeah so people don't know how it works well you have to know how to you have to know what pieces can move where is that just how they uh the
00:28:05
relationships between the pieces correct yes yeah yeah yeah no I know how to play chess I learned when I was in
00:28:10
high school but I was never good and I never kept going when I moved to West Hollywood there's Russians that play chess in Plummer Park oh yeah and I went
00:28:16
down there one morning and I watched for two hours you're mad or something you bring your own mat no I watched and I
00:28:21
thought I bet you I bet you I could at least put up a little bit of a fight against one of these guys there's no way
00:28:26
I went sat down lasted maybe two minutes maybe a minute and a half and he beat me
00:28:31
and he looked up at me and he was like he didn't even talk yeah he gave me a head nod that meant [ __ ] off there's a
00:28:39
and I did I [ __ ] off I knew better there's a rapper named sticky fingers or something sticky fingers is that his
00:28:45
name Sticky Fingers is that is that do I have it right yeah I being real yes I did a movie with him once with sticky
00:28:51
fingers yeah yeah and he plays chess yeah so we were on set he's like yo man I got my chest bore and what I'm not
00:28:59
gonna play I'll kill you I'm Asian I just said that and his all his homies
00:29:04
were like ah they're laughing right yeah come through then right but come through I go when keep a 100
00:29:12
play chess come through I said I'll come through where is it
00:29:17
right and that so then like what trailer is it because a bunch of actors or
00:29:23
whatever the one with the smoke coming out of it it literally was it's just HotBox it's just like smoke coming out
00:29:28
of it because of the weed right right so you know I look at the trailer when I
00:29:33
go I made that noise Blair here we go right poofed I
00:29:38
literally walked in and I walked out I lost just that's how that's how fast it was I
00:29:45
walked in like this and I had [ __ ] lost Sticky's really weird so [ __ ] good in fact I thought
00:29:51
to myself I've probably played about eight black people in my lifetime and just never beat any of them they're so
00:29:57
good at strategy they really are well well people that love chess that really
00:30:03
love black people are especially good at that well because because because I bet you he had his own [ __ ] it was his own
00:30:08
board his special pieces and stuff custom made right this isn't just like a [ __ ] chess wait wait you're you're
00:30:14
accusing him of fraud what you're not accusing him a fraud are you I'm saying it's custody okay he probably invests
00:30:21
time and money into chess most people that play chess yeah aren't casual you
00:30:26
either are [ __ ] obsessed with chess yeah or you go yeah I played I'm not I'm not that good because there's no good
00:30:31
award we bought a board for the pandemic and it's still in the wrapper that's what I'm talking about most people you're either [ __ ] insane about it or
00:30:37
you're like I don't really play chat we'll get one in here and let's play I'd love to play a game with you but I want to learn how to play Speed Test yes well
00:30:44
that's the same rules but faster yeah but I mean no it yes it's the same rules I'm saying but the skills are unbelievably different I know they are I
00:30:50
want to do it you need to watch Queen's Gambit how good is it the little redheaded girl is it me yeah it's me I
00:30:56
love each other do you see Searching for Bobby Fischer of course great movie do you know who that is you don't know who Bobby Fischer is no do they don't have
00:31:02
that [ __ ] Philippines you know who Magnum is Magnus is Magnus yeah like
00:31:08
magma Magnus Magnus Magnus for Magnuson the strongest man in the world
00:31:14
Magnus is um this I think he's from well sounds
00:31:19
like Sweden or Switzerland yeah yeah or Sweden or yeah and he's I think he's the number one
00:31:24
chess player in the world but he's Young he's a cool blonde-headed kid oh and it was a documentary I watched it you did
00:31:31
and he's getting the other kid came and took over I watched that it's about commentary it's about the
00:31:37
next it's about the next um next in because there was one kid that was like well the document with the document is
00:31:43
called madness how did you not know this is what I was talking about I don't think it's called Magnus I think it's called something else I
00:31:49
gotta get my phone out but whatever no just let me just do it okay Magnus Carlson yeah no no dude there's another
00:31:56
documentary about yeah but the Magnus documentary oh dude I'm thinking of the Rubik's Cube thing
00:32:02
I walked out
00:32:07
I'm sorry hey hey I didn't see it hey yeah this
00:32:14
documentary is called Magnus Magnus right so you would have known this I'm thinking of watch this I watched a
00:32:19
Rubik's Cube watch this doctor and they're two different [ __ ] things same kind of guy yeah I saw a football
00:32:24
movie it was called Hoosiers it was [ __ ] amazing same kind of brain [ __ ] up same brain [ __ ]
00:32:30
yeah and keep it in don't even edit it out that's what you are that's what you are
00:32:39
cut that cut that out or bleep it
00:32:45
do you look like a fool you know it's like so funny it's like when one people do foolish things like that and they say that they
00:32:51
go into a thing like what you're doing you're Frozen I know you're Frozen right now because of Shame no no I'm listening
00:32:58
no you're going like this no I'm listening to your [ __ ] oh [ __ ] how do I get out of this one no it's not
00:33:03
getting out of it my I'm faster than you I'm funnier than you I'm stronger than you I'm taller than you I'm better than you in literally every physical way like
00:33:10
and mental how do I get out of this one you're right you're a little tiny I
00:33:15
don't right I shaved booger rat and that's where you can see
00:33:21
no you're going to name calling you call me an artard yeah but we're gonna cut
00:33:26
that out so it doesn't even matter we're not we're leaving in our tart you said it to me you called it to me three times
00:33:31
just apologize for making a mistake no you [Applause] stupid I'm not apologizing for [ __ ]
00:33:39
thinking something was something else I said no it's a Rubik's Cube movie yes and Rubik's cubes are two different
00:33:44
things it's the point of the film it's not the [ __ ] the [ __ ] item it's that I I oh yeah there was a kid who was the champion he got taken over and I'm
00:33:51
thinking oh it's a [ __ ] Rubicon how would you Magnus it's not even call you I don't know what's the title of the [ __ ] movie [ __ ] man
00:33:57
you made a mistake you look like a fool and that's all no it's only because you ran into it with your car yeah it could
00:34:03
have gone oh yeah it was just sad to watch you just now just please and like
00:34:08
go through that [ __ ] thing you're you're you're go ahead so I'm fast [ __ ] weak yup yup yeah no I wouldn't
00:34:15
be able to survive in a forest fact yeah unless there was a [ __ ] Bakery in
00:34:20
there but I'm alive am I not alive I hope you're [ __ ] feet there we go now diabetic [ __ ]
00:34:28
turkey ladies and gentlemen bad friends friends fans and when your teeth
00:34:33
just listen and your little rat must say whatever so when you little [ __ ] ass dick makes a mistake right this is
00:34:41
it's only when you go at it with me and so I want to let you guys know that we do need a therapist because he has
00:34:47
massive issues look at him he's trying to laugh it off but I see it in his eyes when Bobby goes after me yeah after I
00:34:54
said oh yeah no yeah I said that the wrong then I have to attack you back no you put me up against the wall
00:34:59
what do you want me to do see yeah you see what you did what see what
00:35:06
you did you ruined my vibe you [ __ ] up my vibe I love it and
00:35:13
you've never listened to the Scorpions once that's true yeah you [ __ ] poser you
00:35:18
fake [ __ ] cut that out no you Hollywood no no yeah
00:35:24
yeah [ __ ] you [ __ ] you we're cutting that part no George George you're fired if you [ __ ] keep that in then [ __ ]
00:35:30
you George get fired you [ __ ] [ __ ] don't hire someone else cut it out Andres you touch that [ __ ] if you
00:35:36
don't cut out the Scorpion what are you gonna do what what are you gonna [ __ ] do what are you so angry about I just
00:35:41
[ __ ] I love it I love it I love it
00:36:14
who started it oh say it see there we go don't be a say it
00:36:20
wow yes stop everything stops oh wait wait
00:36:25
what's up she said Tito Bobby because she knows say to the mic she did
00:36:33
I love you I started it yeah yeah
00:36:38
when he was wrong you immediately humiliated humiliated him you could have
00:36:44
just yeah but was he not wrong yeah but it wasn't it
00:36:49
finished go ahead it wasn't a big thing right well he he mistake like a
00:36:57
yeah yeah exactly thank you thank you Andreas I have some defense here no he's not defending you what were you saying
00:37:04
Andreas take a chance more with a little cube right is that is that a big buffer
00:37:11
it's a medium size medium size yeah and I my response was medium-sized no it
00:37:16
wasn't yeah how big was the response Jules you said or you said the r word over and over we'll cut it out no we're
00:37:22
not we're leaving it in because we need to teach you a lesson right so I'm gonna let you know all right don't Point her put your finger down put your little fat
00:37:28
finger down all right you you just between that finger down you can trade me just I know that all
00:37:34
right and you know what I'm glad I'm leaving tomorrow and you're lucky that I'm leaving
00:37:40
tomorrow Jules I love you you're a good friend tell people you tell people how excited
00:37:45
you are to go to Hawaii I'm going to Hawaii you know you know this is how much I love how much love I have for you in my heart that in this when I was in
00:37:52
the shower you know what I was singing my focus is on you anymore my focus is Let It Go no I'm not grow up this
00:37:59
[ __ ] Shakespearean [ __ ] [ __ ] right here first of all she's an aggressive genius who has dangerous qualities do you really want to get in
00:38:05
her [ __ ] bad self I'm not getting physical okay well I would watch your tone because she'll [ __ ] kill you sorry good boy
00:38:11
doordash I would not have been able to survive this pandemic without doordash Andrew no I know it's true I would have
00:38:17
been starving because all my food is from doordash every single thing that Bobby eats is delivered to his front
00:38:23
door through door Dash it is so convenient you want Chinese they got it you want pizza they got it you want
00:38:28
Froyo they got it Boba they got it balut they don't got it they have balut to Andrew they do yeah
00:38:36
okay correction doordash has balloon they have balloons get doordash it's incredible yeah continue supporting
00:38:42
restaurants in your own Community as well and there are thousands of restaurants open for delivery on doordash that need your patronage
00:38:49
patronage that's not more than ever support your favorite restaurants on doordash go to doordash it's the app
00:38:56
it's so easy it brings you food that you're craving right now at this moment 300 000 Partners in U.S Puerto Rico Canada and Australia support all the
00:39:02
people that you love Chipotle Wendy's Cheesecake Factory and for Bob's Spaghetti Factory which he loves the most you can get all this stuff on
00:39:08
doordash delivered to your front door delivers a now contact list to keep communities safe as things are sketch
00:39:13
outside right now our listeners are gonna get five bucks off and zero delivery fees on their first order 15 bucks or more when you download the
00:39:19
doordash app and enter the code bad friends that's five dollars off and your zero delivery fees okay five bucks off
00:39:24
no no deliveries on your first order download the doordash app in the app store and enter the code bad friends don't forget that's code bad friends for
00:39:31
five bucks off your first order with doordash headspace oh my God Andrew I've been using this app a headspace
00:39:39
yeah to go to sleep and it really does work for me so Bob likes it to go to bed I like it to chill out in the morning
00:39:44
because Bob says like I'm too aggressive first thing in the morning and I need to cool it off before I call or text him the reason I like headspace honestly uh
00:39:50
because first thing in the morning I do have high Jitters um too anxious I wake up uh feeling I'm overwhelmed for the
00:39:56
day yeah and I like using headspace because it does calm me down and I think guided meditation is better than trying it on your own because it's much easier
00:40:03
to just let go listen and absorb and chill out yeah I enjoy I like the interface of the app too it's easy to to
00:40:10
to use yeah it's simple to navigate yeah it's really easy and and you can find what you're looking for right away right
00:40:15
and it's like when I do it I I find Jesus headspace is a daily dose of mindfulness in the form of guided
00:40:21
meditations in an easy to use app it's simple it's so nice it's actually very calming meditation is so important to
00:40:27
put you in the moment right and to focus on your breathing and just it's it's it just makes everything especially in a
00:40:34
pandemic just more it levels everything out right it reduces to stress improve sleep boost Focus increase your overall
00:40:39
sense of well-being honestly you know we're a big advocate for mental health on this show we've talked about it before both Bobby and I are open about
00:40:45
our Therapeutics check it out and headspace is another way to get your head in the right space online
00:40:51
meditation uh it makes it easy for you to build a life-changing meditation practice with mindfulness that works for you it's also a headspace is backed by
00:40:58
25 published studies on its benefits 600 000 five-star reviews and over 60
00:41:04
million downloads that's freaking amazing that's amazing you deserve to feel happier in headspace meditation is
00:41:09
Made Simple go to headspace.com bad friends that's headspace.com bad friends for one free month trial with access to
00:41:16
headspace full library of meditations for every situation it's the best deal offered right now honestly go to headspace.com bad friends today this
00:41:24
morning in the shower I thought of you and I I got excited for you well I gotta breathe through this and I was singing uh I was singing Israel kamakawei or
00:41:32
lies Somewhere Over the Rainbow you know brother is the big fat Hawaiian guy I was singing that song in the
00:41:37
shower [Music]
00:41:47
Jules were you saying for us uh no chess is not like Rubik's Cube the two
00:41:56
different things oh so you don't make mistakes is that we're gonna go back to the song because I know how the lyrics
00:42:01
go lower your voice lower your voice
00:42:11
I buy shirts because now you're getting that's not
00:42:17
fair you get to make fun of me for a mistakes it all stays because we've gone too far
00:42:24
and by the way if you think it's gonna get cut I'm gonna reference it four more times in the podcast and then we're gonna have to cut out four no different
00:42:29
things our word and with the cut out the Scorpion stuff no no because they're one of the same they're one and the same
00:42:35
we're gonna beep the r word dude it's gonna go but everyone already knows what you said and we've talked about it too much stop
00:42:42
bringing it up if you don't want if you want to cut out stop saying it so move forward don't bring up this though and we're cutting that out no why do you
00:42:49
care so much about the Scorpions because it there's it's a band that you don't know I understand that and you don't want to be a white girl from LA right
00:42:55
you are I know except your reality
00:43:02
all right Andrew what island what island are you staying on no no stop for a second oh let's go back to the thing you
00:43:08
want to cut out no that I'm not going to cut it we're not gonna cut it out now okay good all right we're not gonna cut it out now because I want to make a point now okay okay I want to make a
00:43:14
point now okay um for the record we are gonna bleep the r that's fine or cut it out keep the scorpions in we cannot say it but I know
00:43:21
we I know but I want to make a point now and I'm not I'm there but I'm not there's I'm at the line okay okay
00:43:27
is um there's certain things right that and I don't know why it is right but
00:43:34
there's sort of things that I'm paranoid about or I I'm sensitive about like what
00:43:39
this why because I should know I because I make fun of people that wear shirts so
00:43:45
perhaps you need to think about not making fun of people I don't know how I got this it was just in my I really don't so there's so then just say that
00:43:51
no but just listen to what I'm saying okay I I would even when I was putting it on today you thought about it I
00:43:56
thought about I don't think I should wear because I don't really know much about the band right so I don't know how I got this but see this moment of
00:44:02
vulnerability is better than the opposite of stopping for just let me just say something I'm gonna finish this okay
00:44:07
um it's and there are certain things and I'm gonna say it right the things that you are sensitive about as well sure it
00:44:13
feels the same that yes wearing a shirt I don't know why but it does so my
00:44:19
physical insecurities right it does it feels that way you think that feels the same as a shirt you put on yeah because
00:44:25
I have no physical insecurities at all so I don't know I can't relate to you on that level that's not the same thing at all yeah because I'm very paranoid about
00:44:31
it and it's sensitive about it yeah but that's the thing you've made up it's not even a real thing that's that's not even your physical uh no that's real I feel
00:44:38
that I see it I know it it's real yeah but it's not it's no one else feels that way you feel that about yourself right but the projection you have because of a
00:44:44
shirt you put on is completely different it's it's only because you make fun of people that do that exact same thing right well sister don't make fun of
00:44:51
those but you also make fun of people with you know I mean physical things as well like what who do I make fun of you'll just make you'll make fun of a
00:44:57
woman's body it's their shipped like an eggplant or whatever it might be what you're making that up I've seen you say
00:45:03
that where that lady looks like an eggplant where when we're hanging out it's just something that you would say
00:45:09
no see you're making [ __ ] up all right I don't make fun of people's bodies unless of course they're in a wheelchair then I pick on them for sure
00:45:17
oh what island are you going to I don't know man are you going to Maui I don't
00:45:23
know I guess man shut up no Kawaii you know Oahu I'm excited oh I am
00:45:30
so [ __ ] jealous yeah I think I need a break you need a break yeah from this all
00:45:36
you've been on a break not really no touring
00:45:42
barely TV podcast that's all you've been doing you're not writing any new [ __ ] you're
00:45:47
not doing any jokes you're not having any stages you're not traveling you're not on planes this has been a break
00:45:53
yeah but I kind of I like working and um me too I miss it and I'm just kind of
00:45:58
excited to work that's all you need a break from podcast LA Live that's what I meant a break from you
00:46:04
from this and kalila no that's you know no oh maybe her her yeah maybe they're
00:46:13
not going with you kalila and her uncle but they're not now why
00:46:19
it just because it's just a it's too much to to worry about in terms of like animals
00:46:25
and oh the animals traveling yeah and all that stuff it's just too much to worry about are you gonna miss are you gonna miss College are you gonna miss
00:46:30
Rudy I'm gonna miss the dogs is Rudy one of the dogs
00:46:36
do do you classify her as one of the dogs no in your house I I used to classify her as um a daughter
00:46:43
you felt like she's a daughter to you yeah yeah see to me it feels like my little sister do I feel like an older brother
00:46:48
to you yeah I feel like family but that feels like my sister you used to feel like her father now what do you feel
00:46:54
like to her father still oh but a father betrayed
00:47:01
maybe a stepdad yeah you kind of seem like a step dad to her yeah
00:47:06
she's not mad she doesn't really like step dad sometimes she does he doesn't but what's why doesn't step dad just know she's in a growing period
00:47:13
I'm fine she's growing up I feel great you know one day she's gonna leave I feel good
00:47:18
I'm excited about Hawaii you're sad I'm excited about it I'm sad to leave you I'm sad to leave
00:47:26
I am upset to leave everyone here in LA and um it's not true I do and I'm so excited to go to Hawaii but I'm very
00:47:33
excited as well and I'm so grateful for my life I really am love everything
00:47:39
I look around my life I walk out I walk outside my I wake up yeah and I walk outside my house and let's see little
00:47:44
Jewel sleeping in a room and the dogs you know me running around and I look at my at my beautiful girlfriend you're
00:47:50
about to say wife soon to be wife and are you really gonna get married I'm gonna marry her yeah when soon well the
00:47:57
fans want to know I just don't know how to do it the engagement yeah would you have a ring
00:48:02
I'll get one well that's probably the first step you have to wait Etsy or something get it not on Etsy eBay
00:48:08
Etsy eBay etsy's cheaper is it I don't know I'll go to eBay what do you think you would
00:48:14
do for a proposal probably put in a cupcake but then she won't eat the whole thing right she's
00:48:20
not yeah and then I'll do you got to eat more of it so you know you know what you should do what have one of the dogs eat
00:48:25
it and then and be like oh my God he's we have to take him to the vet and they go to the vet and then they cut the dog
00:48:31
open right and there's a ring inside yeah and the dog is hemorrhaging hemorrhaging and and while it's bleeding
00:48:38
out I look out and they find the ring I go will you marry me oh wow that's a
00:48:43
good one perfect yeah you just gotta hope the dog doesn't die yeah but if it does you're already at the vet or stick
00:48:50
the ring inside the my anal Canal candle Canal right and I'll say finger me
00:48:56
right will she and then she fingers me with this I go no with this finger who's your ring finger ring finger right and
00:49:02
she and right and then boom and then as she pulls it out yeah it's on will you marry me that's perfect pretty
00:49:08
good what else is another one oh Rudy are any of these good do you think a good way for a girl to get proposed to I
00:49:13
like the dog one the one where of course you do so creepy I know
00:49:18
because everything that I do right you don't like no no she likes she likes she likes how how sadistic it is yeah yours
00:49:24
is dirty and this one was death she likes that she wants sadistic and death yeah like Rudy's the kind of person all
00:49:30
right well then I stick the ring right here's how Rudy's gonna get
00:49:35
proposed to in 10 years by the way no time soon no more you're still what are
00:49:41
you how old are you now 19 yeah 19 it's going to be 12 years we want you until you get married I don't right 12 years
00:49:46
no just to be 30. she's never gonna get married so she's never gonna have any kind of boyfriend as long as she lives in my house do you ever want to get
00:49:52
married I've never do you said you didn't want to have kids we know that's off the DACA because you hate children I
00:49:57
don't know about marriage also yeah she's flirting with guys on um her um no yeah she is no I don't want to hear it
00:50:05
on what on Instagram on some direct message on Instagram well what you're gonna betray me I can't betray you a
00:50:11
little bit yeah yeah yeah yeah wait a minute she's flirting with two guys what are their names again well we don't need to know their names
00:50:17
yeah what's going on her face now his interface and she's texting them back and forth love love
00:50:23
Texas is this really going on rude kinda oh yeah I see that I'm saying you might get your phone privileges revoked yeah
00:50:29
you keep that up but they have to get through me I'm not going to let her out of the house have you met up with any boys no because you're covered right
00:50:35
that's kind of good then she can't even see any of these idiots oh and also even if she does I'm going with her right
00:50:42
oh really you you think let's say the pandemic's over yeah and the way you're
00:50:47
treating me like today right you think you're gonna no I'm gonna go that's fine with it yeah but I'm not we're two
00:50:54
different people yeah I'm gonna go with you what movies do you guys want to watch tonight oh you want to watch that romantic thing with Ryan Gosling the
00:51:01
dance member yeah man dancing in Atlanta is that a movie I don't know I never heard something that he would do right
00:51:07
I'll go you guys want to go to Fuddruckers is that a hamburger that's still open delicious there's one in
00:51:12
Burbank I love it there is yeah I thought they all closed down there's a spaghetti day Factory too in uh at West Covina Spaghetti Factory but
00:51:20
um I'm gonna go with you yeah you are how are you gonna leave what if I don't tell you oh
00:51:27
so it's Friday night you're putting makeup on your face and putting glitter on your whatever [ __ ] young girls do
00:51:34
glitter yeah yeah yeah patching the glitter on her face yeah man glitter patches I look like a [ __ ] you know
00:51:39
um fairy whatever I'm a fairy that's what
00:51:46
they do right what they do right oh my lips you know I mean they need to be shiny and cool I'm a fairy with
00:51:53
popcorn look at her lips right she puts other Jam jams on whatever they [ __ ] call them yeah yeah she puts on her
00:51:59
[ __ ] Uggs right and get your toes done
00:52:05
and then and then and then she's like I'm bye I go and I'll go you know when
00:52:10
you say bye you know what I'll say bye to kalila because we're both leaving oh
00:52:15
right so I'll drive you can drive whatever but I'm [ __ ] going
00:52:21
okay okay that's how it goes kid you don't have a choice you don't have a choice well also you know it also you
00:52:28
have to it has clearance over where you guys are going because she's 18 what you're 18. 19. you're 19 in American
00:52:33
years but that's like 15 in Philippines no no she's 19 in Filipino years but
00:52:40
that's like 15 in American years right I don't know if she likes that but it makes perfect sense to me but you gotta
00:52:47
you have you're gonna be controlled for sure Bobby's gonna have to go with you in fact how about this Bob can go on a date with you guys
00:52:55
we have George has to come film it do you want to come can I come you should come let's go on a date for all four of us
00:53:02
it's a double date it's a triple let's bring clothing your wife okay do you want to do that yeah then all three of
00:53:08
us go on a date all three of us what's wrong with that that way that way we're not going to go to like [ __ ] um some
00:53:15
shitty hamburger spot you can come but you can sit I don't know you don't tell
00:53:20
us where it is this way we can go hey you want to go to Morton's Steakhouse yeah I mean or you want to go to Palms
00:53:27
like somewhere nice boa let's go to BOA Steakhouse you want to go to Bo and get a steak right so then okay we bring up
00:53:32
you pick up your mechanic friend Freddy whatever his name what's the mechanic's name
00:53:38
you don't have to say it no say his name we'll bleep it out oh it will bleep it we'll be we'll leave
00:53:43
it Freddy no that's not his name it's Freddy no it's not I told you it's
00:53:49
Freddy Freddy okay so we pick up ready we're not back we're leaving that in we're leaving okay
00:53:55
we pick up Freddy yeah at the [ __ ] you know gas station right right and
00:54:00
then get in kid yeah and he's like wiping his hand with grease right yeah yeah throws the [ __ ] rag down hey hey
00:54:08
takes off his onesie his dad always works there too right yeah yeah right well he says buying his dad's like
00:54:15
[ __ ] you yeah I love you Dad right he gets in the car right and then we go to
00:54:21
a nice restaurant and then um we can Grill the [ __ ] out of him yeah we can
00:54:27
find out all we need all kinds of stuff yeah so what what do you Google in PornHub he's like um I don't watch pornography
00:54:35
sir then that's good liar though he's a liar give us your phone yeah oh that's true well I want to go through this
00:54:40
phone I want to see how many other girls he's texting I want to see what a safari search history is right yeah I also want
00:54:45
to see I also want a little Deep dive in to see if there's any protected folders on his phone you know what I would also do is I would bring up my medical gear
00:54:52
right and go to the bathroom and go let me see it what about your penis now and just see if there's any bumps
00:55:01
[Laughter]
00:55:08
just for a laugh I would do this for a giggle we're going on a trip and
00:55:15
we're going to meet Freddy are you into it no good yeah I know yeah but that's gonna happen because you're not gonna go
00:55:22
into some guy's car and the next thing you know it's three in the morning you're right we can't get a hold of you
00:55:28
young Filipino girl goes missing in L.A yeah and then it's like it's like in the Freddy like the next day is it working
00:55:34
at the mechanic store no he's gone they took off we'll go back to them we'll go back to the gas station and his dad and
00:55:41
his dad oh Freddy yeah no no he left years ago oh [ __ ] it's a ghost it's a ghost it's a
00:55:49
ghost right we're like well where can we find him he's like I think he went to one of them Farms if they way up in
00:55:55
Visalia that's right because when I was checking his sack right my hands went through the sack it was like a
00:56:01
paranormal [ __ ] yeah so then we go up to the farm in Visalia we go to the 45 we'll go to the
00:56:08
farm in Visalia yeah and and where is he in the kitchen his back turned to us yeah and we all walk in and Freddie and
00:56:16
you ask us to say Freddy who who am I playing you your Bobby yeah I'm me Freddy Freddy Freddy Freddy
00:56:24
call his name Freddie I mean act like you're in the scene with
00:56:29
us Freddy
00:56:40
you know what if it was something scary where it's like um we can't ever find
00:56:45
her right yeah she's missing she goes missing right and then they find her like in a tomb
00:56:52
in Egypt Rudy yeah wow like she's in a cat too well you know how they the
00:56:58
Pharaohs yeah well they found yeah they find you know what I mean Juliana right
00:57:03
with the with the ears right in a cat tomb like this and they say she's been
00:57:08
dot dead for 3 000 years or whatever 4 000 years that wouldn't surprise me and then and then what is she now to us
00:57:16
all right we don't know see she's a prophet from another From Another Dimension that would be scary if I if
00:57:22
this if our show if bad friends was a murder mystery movie who gets killed first well the the
00:57:28
premise of the thing would be Jules dead Jules is dead yeah because if we did a
00:57:33
real movie she first of all I don't think she would want to act in it she's a good actor I know but she doesn't want to like whenever we go like I go like
00:57:40
sing for me or look at her face she doesn't like singing Do you know how many comments we got about us making a
00:57:47
band that we had you know the make then when we saw you know many people said that you were a great singer and they loved it yeah no I didn't yeah so many
00:57:54
people yeah and if we did the band right you would be the lead singer you didn't know that
00:57:59
no yeah yeah you would you would sing something for us please please my throat
00:58:05
hurts I don't know it doesn't drink some of that no it'll clear it right out
00:58:12
yeah but I um I think um so if we did a show about a burn but she would have to be dead so then she could play a dead
00:58:17
girl right right right she could just you know whatever yeah a dead girl dead girl do
00:58:24
you think Andres if we were if we were murder mystery uh George is the neighbor the creepy neighbor um Andres is uh he's
00:58:32
got to be someone that works on the farm for us well also Andreas is I also the
00:58:37
mystery guy Andreas is the guy in the movie right where the whole audience suspects he does it yeah right but he's
00:58:44
not the guy and he's also the guy that gives us valid information at the end of the movie right it's like an Erin
00:58:49
Brockovich you remember Eric I love this movie between a thousand times where that one
00:58:55
character was like really creepy was would like show up hang out like kind of
00:59:01
see they wanted you to not like him and then he had all the information right right that character yeah that's that's
00:59:06
Andres that's Andreas except with a little Latin Flair right Andres do you prefer to be called latinx
00:59:13
no because well it is I'm asking I'm being serious is is Latino offensive
00:59:19
I don't think so I mean everybody's very concerned now about that stuff but I I I'm also not Latino uh I think Latino
00:59:26
means Latin American yeah that's where you are to us okay then yes thank you
00:59:32
yeah what'd you think you were your European you're not you're not you're not you're South of the Border Bud yeah
00:59:38
you're Taco Bell to us yeah you're below the equator for sure right yeah you know that right
00:59:45
yeah I wonder how many people really take offense to any of that stuff hey I'm Andreas yeah be honest with you me
00:59:53
not you but just be honest with me do do Spanish people just have a general like
01:00:00
feeling that they're better than Mexicans of course think about it first Jesus Christ are
01:00:08
you Spanish X it's like British to Americans you know yeah we killed them out of here we won that
01:00:16
war we won dude [ __ ] hey we won our independence and we got our own country okay so it's bit why do you why do you
01:00:23
hate Mexican so much not you but just you're no no no him he does I know why
01:00:28
do you not like them ah
01:00:34
dude it's so funny because you and I get in the hot seat every week we say something stupid yeah now it's time for
01:00:40
him to make just make a listen people like to hear people love this podcast
01:00:45
because we express our point of view and it's as stupid as it may be dumb yeah right that's what's great about this
01:00:51
podcast I just say dumb things and I don't even know what I'm saying but I just do it because this is who I am and well it's just for fun driving authentic
01:00:58
be authentically you they mess up the language a lot you know oh they mess up oh and that's annoying to you isn't it
01:01:05
that's annoying yeah what about their fashion yeah they're not as fashionable why you
01:01:12
don't like it it's okay yeah so let me tell you something Andreas you know yeah but just before we get into that is
01:01:19
Hispanic people especially in like because the only uh Mexico that I've
01:01:24
seen I've never been to Mexico City resort Mexico you've been to some but I've also mainly been to Juarez and
01:01:30
Tijuana right across the border and I love I have every Mexican dude that I've
01:01:35
seen like older Mexican dude walking around Tijuana I've wanted to buy their jeans they have great jeans what they're
01:01:41
wearing because they're so weathered right and right from working yeah but they're being you know I mean I I buy
01:01:48
[ __ ] like that because I'm being ironically hip you know about it right but I want to buy their you know I mean
01:01:53
jeans because it's but they don't have no idea that they look cool well they look right you like it because it looks
01:01:59
like they're putting out this is something so gross just now it was but it's okay I'm being honest you're being honest and it's fine I get it Andres
01:02:06
yeah in your apartment you're in right now yeah let's say a Mexican couple
01:02:11
moves in next door you got beef already with them or no yeah absolutely wow I'm telling them to
01:02:19
put the music down [Laughter]
01:02:25
oh yeah Andres if he comes over yeah and he introduces himself are you
01:02:31
are you going to be polite and nice are you going to automatically give him a little bit of [ __ ] yeah totally politeness
01:02:38
he's here he's here my name is Javier I'm your new neighbor I don't
01:02:44
speak English or excuse me you are speaking English right now oh sorry I don't speak Spanish
01:02:49
oh oh why why the attitude sir um
01:02:54
look I'm tired of you know your food your
01:02:59
music you're loud this is so racist
01:03:06
I'm trying to show this True Colors oh my God he hates Mexicans he hates them wow I didn't know there was that much
01:03:13
beef yeah there is some beef there look I'm tired of your music he says your food your food their food's the best you
01:03:20
don't like Mexican three times a week I eat it Andres do you not like Mexican food for real no I love it oh you do
01:03:25
okay okay I also love the music now I know you do all right the good good character I like the bit good I like the
01:03:31
good Andres good bit Yeah Yeah does your now is your is your wife racist at all
01:03:36
absolutely she's from the south she's from the south she's from the south so there's a difference between like the
01:03:42
North and the South of Spain no she's from the south of the U.S dude she's from here
01:03:48
his wife is one of us wait wait wait wait
01:03:54
your wife put in Reverse if you're gonna go back that's how I'm that's how I do it no you
01:03:59
eat means you stopped that's true I don't use the wrong food yeah but let me just do my sound effects all
01:04:05
right do yours wait a second [Music] right so your your wife is Mexican no no
01:04:13
she's white she's from America is she white yes he doesn't like to say it oh
01:04:19
he doesn't because in case his family hears that they're disappointed she's white she's white his family
01:04:25
doesn't like it that his wife are you being real yeah bothers them who do they want to visit him to see
01:04:31
someone like him he's white kinda he's close yeah
01:04:37
do they know her name at least no no they don't he hasn't revealed for
01:04:43
them wait wait they don't even know you're dating anybody no well you're married to her right what did you tell your family her name was
01:04:49
Maria you know it's Maria and you're married to her right yes and they never
01:04:54
went to they didn't go to the wedding no they didn't why uh how do you do that well we just run to the they went to the
01:05:02
courthouse and so when are you going to tell your parents in a couple years maybe when there's uh
01:05:08
you know when they're close to dying wait wait wait so Maria your wife has never met your parents right and your
01:05:16
parents they don't miss you not really so you're how many people live this is
01:05:23
very interesting to me can I just ask you some questions absolutely so you grew up with a mom and a dad
01:05:29
correct yeah they don't have mom and dads in Spain yeah it's more like an uncle and a nun nope so your parents
01:05:36
what did your parents do for a living shoemakers don't they all make shoes
01:05:42
yeah this uh work at the University oh so they're they're head yeah they're
01:05:48
they're very smart so then um how many siblings do you have one
01:05:53
right so you know when you have parents when you have kids you raise them right you don't and it's odd to me that they
01:06:00
wouldn't want to even have any kind of contact with you right so did something happen yeah what
01:06:07
happened I Married An American white girl and but they don't know about it so how could that be a conflict yet well I
01:06:13
think my brother told them uh and so they're mad yeah they did they said
01:06:19
don't come back you know don't come back they said don't come back you're right oh [ __ ] that's heavy [ __ ] [ __ ] heavy
01:06:27
and [ __ ] what kind of what part of the country is your wife from the south you know the bad part no no what state
01:06:33
South Carolina oh yeah
01:06:38
I mean that's what it was no you know what's so funny Mike did they give you Meredith Yankee would have been fine if
01:06:44
you married a girlfriend maybe I don't know your cousin was my cousin yeah married a Vietnamese girl she's kind
01:06:50
girl and um my uncle aunt didn't go to the wedding really yeah because she was
01:06:56
Vietnamese shut up I swear to God what do they say how do they justify that they go we don't we don't we don't we
01:07:02
don't we won't support it yeah it's it's funny it's you know I've had my brother and I have had to wear on
01:07:09
our parents over the years sure whereas if we didn't do that my parents would
01:07:14
have voted for Trump I think you know I mean if I hadn't done that I think my parents would be like you know if they
01:07:19
saw a gay person they'd run across the street really oh yeah I think that I think yeah I think it's American kids if
01:07:27
you're an ethnic kid you know with immigrant parents and they have a certain ideology I think it's our job to
01:07:33
[ __ ] change it change it and cut away at all those things right now you know before my dad died they were all they
01:07:39
loved all people they they loved all you know genders that's because you influenced and we influenced them it's
01:07:46
like I I won't have it right any other way it's like who are you gonna vote for McCain no Brock so you just told him
01:07:53
they would do it you know I mean so it's like you know you it's our jobs to do that I think well it's your job to teach
01:07:59
him to not hate that's yeah yeah and it's like so um I just um
01:08:05
I know I just think it's so [ __ ] [ __ ] up man they wouldn't go to the wet I told you what happened I told you
01:08:10
uh I was in a bar in Philadelphia and I ordered Bullet bourbon
01:08:16
and I like drinking it I just wanted to have a little bit and the girl says we don't serve that here okay real attitude
01:08:24
like Bullet bourbon yeah and I was like oh okay I'll just take something else and she goes yeah what else I said maybe
01:08:31
knob do you have knob or something yeah leaves comes back she like slams it down and she goes you know they're homophobes
01:08:38
uh the whole family is homophobic and this is a gay bar you're in a gay neighborhood I said okay I don't care I
01:08:45
don't give a [ __ ] I just wanted to have how would you know that anyway wow there was a guy sucking dick at the front door no how would you know that the the the
01:08:51
the liquor that you're you know I'm in I know that was what I said how the [ __ ] would you know that how could I know so
01:08:57
I pick up my phone I get on there one of those situations where I'm like no this is why the parent you know old white
01:09:03
dude old white Kentucky you know that old family of bourbon the daughter is gay and she's the only one that's not in
01:09:11
the in the company doesn't get any of the money from the company and the father refused to support her marriage
01:09:16
to her uh her girlfriend so then that's why it had got I didn't know I never
01:09:22
heard that [ __ ] story before but I I was like that's a bummer I also you know still gonna drink Bullet bourbon it's
01:09:28
really good but yeah I can I tell you something I didn't how could I know I did an IBM commercial once yeah and
01:09:34
they're racist no but I I booked the commercial and this I'm not gonna say who she we still know who she is the
01:09:41
casting director no but she's a comic I'm not gonna say who it is what time I think it's comment that's in the commercial no I somebody they people
01:09:47
found out in in the comedy community that I booked a IBM campaign sure and some girl came up to me I can't
01:09:53
believe you're doing that I'm gonna go what do you mean making money yeah and she's like no you know
01:10:00
IBM helped with counting you know the Nazis they use some of their technology
01:10:05
to count the numbers of the you know I mean the Jews and stuff like that really yeah that's a real story yeah they had
01:10:12
something to do with it like the algorithms of algorithms or something right and I go oh well I'm still gonna
01:10:18
get paid yeah I don't know like I'm getting it I'm not not gonna do
01:10:25
it you know what I mean that was a long time ago but I call [ __ ] on anyone that says that stuff because you know that it's crazy well how about this yeah
01:10:31
I work for Disney now yeah Walt Disney was like a known anti-semite like out
01:10:37
loud yeah yeah like out loud yeah so what are you saying all the people that work for Disney now should they all just
01:10:42
quit their jobs well you know yeah it is it is a 30 000 people it's a lot it's [ __ ] like I was watching Apocalypto
01:10:48
yeah and I like that movie but I know that Mel Gibson is a little cool right a little bit a little bit right I know how
01:10:55
he feels about certain things so there is that question is like should I be watching this he still gets jobs
01:11:00
that's true that new Santa Claus movie looks good it looks really good yeah I'm not gonna watch it but
01:11:07
I just don't I don't think you can control any of that stuff I said that to Neil Brennan and I were talking one time about how like people were remember when
01:11:13
people deleted Uber off their phone because the the CEO was was it Uber or Lyft it was Uber the CEO was uh what was
01:11:21
it against gay marriage it was something like that like they were again whatever and people were all
01:11:26
right self-righteous like oh [ __ ] Uber I'm not gonna because they he donated to like a republican campus some [ __ ]
01:11:32
but I was like how look at the irony that you're tweeting about deleting Uber from your phone made by Chinese slave
01:11:38
kids yeah like how [ __ ] Justified are you these things are made by slave kids dude yeah so shut the [ __ ] up I mean I
01:11:46
know like you think you're so self-right so it's so hard everything you make is made by someone who's who's probably
01:11:52
getting underpaid and overused your shirt your jeans your car your everything we do this is all made by
01:11:59
some a kid it's hard I mean it's you know it's a bummer but it's made kids over there
01:12:04
over there yeah do you have any friends that worked in the clothing Factory no do you know about them
01:12:11
they don't have those in the Philippines it's not it's just Thailand it's such a Thailand I feel like I've
01:12:17
seen Philippines on stuff yep there are there are but I don't feel like I never heard of like you don't have a
01:12:24
family friend who worked in a factory um some of them yeah what like what do they
01:12:29
make China is a thing yeah China's too obvious I mean they always Outsource to like like Philippines to China the China
01:12:37
outsources of the Philippines yeah to save even more money oh it's cost way less to make it there yeah China costs
01:12:43
less for us this costs less for them and I don't even know what's below them but I think that Philippines is a hub of
01:12:49
like shady [ __ ] like in terms of like because I heard of um just hear me out North Korea right one
01:12:56
of the great Imports right this country crystal methamphetamine North Korea yeah is the one of the biggest importers of
01:13:02
Crystal me a lot a big a big importer and this this is what I heard wait a minute just let me tell you what I've
01:13:08
heard okay and then you can you know make questions I'll pick it apart pick it apart so that I heard that Korea had has a lot
01:13:16
of crystal methamphetamine factories and they don't feed this is what I've heard they don't feed their employees or
01:13:23
the people that work there they feed them with pay them with crystal meth so they work harder yeah smart so then they
01:13:30
ship the crystal meth this Mass amounts of it to the Philippines at like they're
01:13:37
their Harbor and that's where they you know I mean they you know they section it off this doesn't gonna go to America
01:13:42
right right yeah what do you do what do you know about that um have you heard of anything like that
01:13:49
no but I think that might be kind of true because the Philippines there's um
01:13:54
a big War on Drugs so how many isn't isn't drugs in the Philippines like really illegal yeah
01:14:01
really illegal you could die right like they can kill you yeah you can they beat you to death if you shoot you in the
01:14:07
street oh they shoot you yeah yeah the government can do anything so can they when when I see they've beaten someone
01:14:13
to death for committing a crime who gets beat to death what do you have to do to get beat to death
01:14:18
um if you if you're suspected on like having drugs or selling drugs they can
01:14:25
beat you to death yeah marijuana it's illegal there it's illegal
01:14:33
how do you do this do people smoke weed there yeah they have to hide like in the
01:14:38
back or in the like jungle hide in there jungle yeah which makes sense I guess
01:14:43
it's hot it's hot and humid and the cops aren't going to go in there they're not they'll beat you to death for smoking
01:14:49
weed yeah or just shoot you or they just shoot you yeah do the cops they just shoot people sometimes and people just
01:14:55
are like okay yeah that's why the people are very scared well no [ __ ] well it's like in Thailand you know the rules in
01:15:01
Thailand did I ever tell you about Thailand what what like if you're watching a movie in Thailand yeah they
01:15:07
show a 20 minute movie about the king oh yeah beforehand and you have to stand yeah and you have to watch that before
01:15:13
they get to see the movie you have to stand and salute it right that's in Thailand yeah that sounds like North Korea no
01:15:20
and then when you're walking down the street at like 6 p.m they have all these speakers in Thailand
01:15:26
and a music starts playing propaganda right and you have to freeze
01:15:31
right until the music's done and then you can move on this is what I did because you know I
01:15:39
was there with a bunch of actors and stuff from Australia yeah so we would be walking in the park and the people would freeze and I would
01:15:46
do this like for like 12 minutes right and then when the music stopped I would see how
01:15:52
long I could stay in this position for like 45 minutes I would do it to make people laugh wait when you what is
01:15:58
what's coming out of the speaker like some music and some propaganda yeah and also there's statues of the King right
01:16:05
yeah and I would do stuff like to piss like I would just piss off like the production like we would see it and it
01:16:12
would spit on this
01:16:22
wait didn't the Thai King just come out after like 20 years in hiding wasn't that a news story that just kind of did
01:16:28
you read I don't know that much about history I'll just telling you the rules no no I'm saying he like I have to tell you the rules man he never makes
01:16:34
appearances yeah apparently he just made an appearance thank you for being a bad friend
01:16:40
foreign [Music]
