00:00:00
two are bad friends who are these two idiots
00:00:06
[Music] or something we're bad friends about a
00:00:12
day all day every about a day I bought a Jeep I don't even get the bit
00:00:18
I know it's terrible I bought a Jeep I bought a Jeep
00:00:24
I bought a Jeep can you talk about your attire or what's going on am I retire your attire my attire yeah yeah what
00:00:31
about it I mean it's it's not good
00:00:37
what's not good about it it just looks
00:00:43
slick it doesn't even look slick he looks like a guy like a homeless guy found a bunch of new clothes and just
00:00:50
put them on or whatever okay all right do you really think you're gonna call me homeless guy you're wearing your angry
00:00:57
about you're wearing a got ran over by a dump truck beanie and a pre-worn Guns
00:01:04
and Roses band shirt you don't even like Guns and Roses
00:01:09
oh yeah yeah right that's because it sounds Asian
00:01:16
yeah yeah they stole that from the Chinese I think yeah that means uh get over here
00:01:23
dinner's ready when that part happens in China they play it 50 women come out of nowhere
00:01:39
juicy got those red socks on today I wanted a match with Bobby hell yeah
00:01:44
uh excited to be here thanks for everybody viewed my special cheeseburger on Netflix Bobby is gonna watch it at
00:01:50
some point I love it uh we'll never see it you'll never ever watch it I'll watch fries I think it's
00:01:56
like the third one when five's coming out good I'm gonna love it well what's second Shake yeah
00:02:03
Shake is actually kind of a good name that's a pretty good one shake and then fries yeah you know there's actually meeting there's meaning to it the
00:02:11
cheeseburger probably no no I don't understand no no because people on people have been saying it's good it's all right it's doing pretty good in fact
00:02:16
I was um at my manager's house and her son sawed Kobe and he goes dude it's
00:02:21
really good and he saw other people's podcast because I don't like the other ones that you know we're friends I want to name
00:02:27
names but he goes I listen to yours and he goes you're smart guy thanks yeah yeah that's fun uh excited excited to be
00:02:35
here tonight I made that up
00:02:42
yeah yeah I couldn't I'm sorry but you know other people have said it
00:02:47
it's okay it's okay yeah okay yeah because that always gives you a smile when I do it yeah we're not gonna use
00:02:54
any of this stuff yeah it's good at the end yeah so go ahead no I want you to go your
00:03:01
energy is good did you find your wallet I just Pokey
00:03:06
yeah I found my I think that's what it was I felt really good about finding my wallet man you lost your wallet in the
00:03:12
CVS it's the work you know you're losing your wallet is worse than losing your phone
00:03:19
um double time for me my wallet is my phone all right so yeah yeah don't lose that no I know your life is over but
00:03:25
don't you think that the wallet's worse than the phone because the phone you can go buy and then you can I Cloud everything back right right but with the
00:03:31
wallet man it's like the credit cards the ID all that [ __ ] you guys what else
00:03:38
I have a couple of checks in there like chat like uh yeah and then look this is the wallet got stolen I mean I it just
00:03:45
dropped out of my pocket and I had I don't know 200 bucks yeah a couple hundred bucks in there no some more no
00:03:52
there's my 300 hundreds of dollars
00:04:04
you don't have a choice because I feel great that finding it and then um we'll give Max 100 back there he's back there
00:04:11
get a hundred dollar bill he just started come here man he just started school but do he started a new school
00:04:17
yeah get a textbook I don't know how to say cost but let me get one
00:04:29
a generous man me you're always a generous man I don't even care because I'm so happy I found this because Friday
00:04:35
night Friday night what happened was we finished this podcast yeah then you left I stayed here with Andrea we scoured the
00:04:42
[ __ ] place I went back to the CVS I checked the parking lot with my the light on the phone for like hours
00:04:48
every crevice in the parking lot in the parking lot then I had to cancel my date with that girl yeah right and spots and
00:04:55
spots came back here till midnight looked at every like you know what do
00:05:00
you call the brown stuff poop yeah yeah I took every piece of horse poop that
00:05:07
was out there yeah because this brown is this is a horse ate it yeah
00:05:12
deep depression Saturday I was like I can't move on right I had to drive because then my accountant right lives
00:05:19
in Marina del Rey right right and he goes hey Bob that's what he sounds like no he doesn't he sounds like this
00:05:27
yeah that's good he's 104 years old yeah I spoke to him on the phone you can hear his breathing machine in the background
00:05:32
yeah he can't die but I hope he doesn't he will I don't want him to die anyway
00:05:38
so I and he goes I'm going to San Diego you got to get here now Drive early in the morning cancel my cards get a new
00:05:45
card I told him to get me some cash and then today this morning they called we
00:05:50
got it and cash was in it they didn't touch a dime well you wouldn't know I wouldn't know yeah
00:05:56
that's what's good about you you're easy to Rob so you have an alternative wallet as well you have a new side wallet no
00:06:02
and then I had to get a new this is my old wallet and I put I got my new card and some other cash it's fine everything's good though I feel great
00:06:08
but once you got the brown one back didn't you want to consolidate no I'm taking two I got that now yeah
00:06:15
because if I lose one you know I mean I won't feel as bad I get it yeah yeah you should always have two wallets but yeah that's my thing yeah do you carry what
00:06:20
do you carry with you I have a wallet in my bag but like what is there a lot of [ __ ] in it
00:06:26
um no it's just a few cards and then my cash this is how this is how I've learned to live after years of wallets
00:06:32
what is that it's a it's a it's a magnetic case that goes on my iPhone wow oh it's an apple one too yeah so if if
00:06:39
you'd lose that yeah it's what you would call it no it's got uh what you call it it's magsafe yeah so as soon as I take
00:06:46
this off yeah like it'll say you know like if I'm on my phone it'll uh a notification will pop up and say
00:06:52
Andrew's wallet disconnected and it pin knows where it is pin drops oh that's
00:06:57
amazing yeah where do you get that Apple yeah they sell these but this is all I do all I have is three cards ID two
00:07:04
credit card no cash no cash I keep cash in my front pocket ah I should do that
00:07:09
do not I don't don't keep editing a wallet because because I bet you they took 20 bucks and you could have they
00:07:15
could have I have a picture in mine too oh is it a bus I don't have no pictures of you guys yet printed you should
00:07:23
I see that Arizona ID I have two of my one of my mom and one of my best friend oh show the camera so they can see that
00:07:29
is so cute and we're gonna meet your best friend when we go to Phoenix wait wait do you have a Nokia or something you can't put your [ __ ] photos on
00:07:35
your phone I do but I had a Polaroid for a bit and I've I just ran out of phone so all timey just put on your phone I'll
00:07:41
get a Polaroid of you and put it in my wallet cute okay good yeah
00:07:48
yeah wait check this out I'm gonna get a new phone too I'm gonna have two phones you know why because you lose one yeah
00:07:55
no because I got banned I got banned from Bumble and hinge what what did you do
00:08:05
let me just I'm not gonna tell you I know what you did no what well you
00:08:10
probably did you send a No-No picture no no no pictures what do you mean nobody never sent dick in my life
00:08:17
should you lie about your age on hinge Carlos how do you know I just assumed
00:08:23
so I was people report me because I lie on my age why does that even matter yeah
00:08:28
what do you say yeah who the [ __ ] cares they but they these they care okay time out so in real the real world you're 51
00:08:34
years old yeah let's all guess in the room unless you know you can't cheat if you already know
00:08:44
yeah right I say you say you're 43.
00:08:51
very good answer go ahead I think you like to the um like being older so you
00:08:56
say 65. okay that's funny that's so funny that's funny okay yeah yeah
00:09:02
I think he goes 39 39 and then 40 40. what is it 35.
00:09:17
what you even said that Bobby you're nowhere near Google 35 year old Korean guy well it's because that makes you
00:09:24
younger than Andrew dude cute little Panda Boy but you are not 30. look at
00:09:29
how [ __ ] hot 35 year old Koreans are I've never looked like that when I was 35. yes you did no I didn't yes you did
00:09:35
I never look like that though those are BTS guys when I first met you like that you looked exact when I first met you
00:09:42
that was you how come I couldn't get any [ __ ] then because all they were in there oh yeah BTS wasn't in it wasn't in
00:09:48
back then yeah look at that that dude we're the same age that me and that guy no he's 40. oh yes how old is he it says
00:09:54
over 40. actors over 40. but can I say 35 is insane listen Okay okay but on the
00:10:03
profile picture yeah in parentheses I go I'm actually 51.
00:10:08
okay so that's funny yeah that's funny right so it's like but they reported you
00:10:13
yeah but the reason why I did that who the [ __ ] reports that the reason why you did it is what
00:10:19
because when I first did it I said 51 I was getting no matches got it and the
00:10:25
ones that I got were like they all look like Judy Dench but she's a Dame I know she's a Dame
00:10:32
like the youngest one look like Taylor Swift and like this I was like oh I'm [ __ ]
00:10:38
right so I changed the age so that young now here we go
00:10:44
here's my theory okay yeah and this might sound creepy all right I think it
00:10:49
feels creepy it was working yeah because our fans right
00:10:56
range from 20 in the 30s I would say our fans are anywhere I would say our our
00:11:01
best age is 25 to 45. exactly 25 45 year
00:11:06
olds their age limit to look at other guys 45. it's 40 45 yeah right so I just
00:11:12
wanted to get into the pool yeah you want to get but now but but yeah but it's weird when the creepy old man gets
00:11:18
in the pool I'm just like you guys anybody want ice cream
00:11:25
you're right you're right right so that's why they reported because the old man got in the pool and pool old man right that's what would
00:11:31
happen that's why I downloaded our time what is that our times for old people
00:11:37
yeah yeah our time is for old people wow yeah yeah so I'm gonna do look at how boring the
00:11:44
website looks oh yeah look at how [ __ ] bored
00:11:50
I'm in kinda yeah yeah yeah I'm [ __ ] then no you're good you're great why
00:11:55
because look at that lady up there she's a witch yeah but I bet you I bet she's a Salem witch dude
00:12:02
one of the old-timey days look at that I know they're using us as models what these
00:12:09
are these are the models imagine what's on the [ __ ] side dude that black guy's 96. look at how good he
00:12:17
looks look at him I just think I think here's the deal I think you should be able to say whatever I think they
00:12:22
shouldn't say age shouldn't be on there if it's over 18 then ah is like well you're you're it is what it is you can't
00:12:29
say how because girls don't like to be asked all there right isn't that a thing you're not supposed to ask how old are you I like it but you do yeah but it's
00:12:36
also this it's like anyone that's gonna like me knows who I am you know you should have to say based on my phone
00:12:41
that No One's Gonna swipe based on the photo it should be you know what the the tab should be under a hundred
00:12:50
yeah yeah that's good enough yeah I'm a legal dating person now you're single I'm under 100 [ __ ] leave me alone
00:12:57
yeah who cares if I'm 51 because you're still [ __ ] hot you're still ready to [ __ ] so all of these dating sites of
00:13:03
people that are snitching can [ __ ] off we're it's our time I have a question what's the oldest woman you've been with
00:13:11
66 right yeah no one time I was with us so funny so I was I've never done this
00:13:19
before so um what time I was at the sack I feel bad for saying oh [ __ ] it well you don't
00:13:25
have to say the specifics I was in a town Sacramento that's what I was gonna say
00:13:32
yeah you're in Sacramento yeah but I don't want to say that so let's start from the beginning okay I was in a town yeah right in America yeah and I was
00:13:39
with Kevin Christie okay so Kevin Chris is was open for me he's your accomplice in the story yeah and and after the show
00:13:46
you know this is when this is probably 15 years ago so things weren't great I
00:13:52
could sell out maybe a punch line that's a 200 seater that's good that's pretty good yeah I
00:13:58
mean it was during those days and I used to do meet and greets at the end for free you know what I mean people
00:14:03
and this old lady gets in line and she goes I love your comedy and I go oh
00:14:10
thank you like it was like I remember it was so startling because I was like she doesn't look like somebody that would like you know I've had to just shake my
00:14:18
hand young man what's so funny you said young man yeah yeah and I go oh thank you and you reach out it's just her
00:14:23
[ __ ] oh my God yeah just the lip yeah what are the lips
00:14:29
she drapes the lip over here I gotcha and she has a note in the hand oh right
00:14:36
so she walks away I you know I take photos of the rest of the people I open up the note and it says the name and her
00:14:44
number it's written I know where this original [Laughter] written in a world where there's
00:14:50
original rapper yeah and one of her teeth is in there the paper was from the Dead Sea Scrolls
00:14:56
you had to wind it out he's made out of the the lion with goat milk anyway
00:15:03
the joke but my point is so then I I go to Kevin I go
00:15:08
believe this little lady give me her number he's like you should do it I go
00:15:14
okay he's a wise man he's a wise man yeah I call her right on her on her uh landline yes she
00:15:22
had one of those rooms the next time
00:15:29
yeah you had to call one of those boards yeah wow transferring yeah yeah and then um so I call her and then she
00:15:35
goes I'm babysitting my grandkids awesome
00:15:41
right but I'll pick you up at you know the hotel at five why don't you just
00:15:47
come to the hotel and [ __ ] I thought she just wanted a bang no I
00:15:54
don't I don't even know I didn't even remember what you look like I thought she wanted to just bang and you were she
00:15:59
was like I'm coming over no but so we're at the sports bar okay right and she
00:16:05
goes she's 58 59. oh that's not as bad as you yeah well don't say the age because now
00:16:12
it'll be more fun we'll let people guess yeah yeah so go ahead so she was in old she was older yeah older
00:16:18
probably 25 years older than me at least yeah yeah under a hundred yeah under 100 for sure yeah and out of nowhere she
00:16:26
just goes no that's right at the [ __ ] bar right
00:16:31
were they nice they were saggy yeah but the nipples were great they were like 22
00:16:38
year old nipples right yeah the rest of it 100 150 years old yeah yeah but what
00:16:43
kind of sag are we talking it's like a whale's tits oh yeah yeah okay but the [ __ ] nipples were like [ __ ] you
00:16:50
know Sorority Girl okay right yeah yeah and then I remember she had a lot of
00:16:56
freckles for some reason no those are cancerous
00:17:01
yeah yeah the liver spots yeah right and then I remember
00:17:08
um I got a little wrecked and then so she goes then we go into her back seat of her Bronco that's so cool she had a
00:17:16
Ford Bronco by the way and I remember I had to scoot over toys
00:17:21
for grandkids toys yes I don't know what kind of toys Tinker
00:17:27
Toys yeah a plastic red like fire engine truck okay here I mean those kind of things Lincoln Logs
00:17:33
yeah I mean but but then yeah and then uh we made out in the second the back
00:17:40
seat and then I called her late at night after my second show I go come over the
00:17:46
hotel and she never picked up oh you so she did she go rejected you or she could
00:17:51
have died she probably died and her Ghost came over
00:17:57
she was 25 years older than you do you think the girls you date might feel the
00:18:02
same way oh my gosh honestly honestly I feel like you were
00:18:08
waiting for that joke so good and I know yeah I know you thought this is me I was like should I tell it yeah yeah I don't
00:18:15
know and it offended me greatly it was perfect but it's kind of crazy that things have gone the other way around
00:18:21
now [ __ ] up that's the world right I had I had one when I lived in Long Beach my
00:18:27
buddies and I would go there was a place called um I think it's Balboa no or Naples island
00:18:36
down near uh Belmont Shore in Long Beach and it's like a little tiny overpass
00:18:41
before you get to Seal Beach and there was a place yeah little Naples that's it right there and then look up uh I think
00:18:48
it's called The Crow's Nest it's an old like uh I swear to God look Crow's Nest Long
00:18:54
Beach it's an old um yup that's it right there oh the crows now so that is a notorious spot for what for [ __ ]
00:19:02
cougars it's a Cougar Bar oh we gotta go dude so here I was I'm 22 years old or
00:19:07
23 I'd like just moved did you know it was a cougar swear when you walked in yeah we all everybody knew because because when you go when you live down
00:19:13
in Belmont second street is like uh it's party town and then Naples is all the
00:19:18
retired retirement people yeah so everyone jokes around like oh where are you guys gonna go to [ __ ] grossness and one night me and a couple buddies were
00:19:25
like yeah we are gonna [ __ ] go to the Crow's Nest yeah and when we walked over there we thought well we have to do it now we have to commit and we walked in
00:19:31
and everybody turned and looked at us and we thought we should get the [ __ ] out of here this is so this is such a bad idea yeah yeah and we started
00:19:38
drinking and we're like we'll have a beer and then we'll leave then we talk to a bunch of these women we got really [ __ ] up we started dancing This
00:19:43
Woman's like you guys got to come back to my house I'm I'm divorced and I have a whole house to myself we can all party
00:19:48
and this woman was very very sweet
00:19:56
what does this mean bad breath shoot bad looking oh yeah
00:20:02
what was the wrestler that had that as a thing yeah yeah yeah yeah okay she was
00:20:08
not uh she was not a yeah and I think it was John Cena she was very nice we call
00:20:15
them in Spanish we call them shrimps what what that makes no sense because
00:20:21
you can take the head off and then it's Bueno
00:20:32
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restrictions apply avoid in Ohio seat show notes for details by the way in this in this world in this
00:23:05
world she was a jumbo shop you understand all right I get it yeah yeah so she was a jumbo shrimp
00:23:12
and we partied all night and then we was at the point where people are so drunk and stoned that they're passing out yeah
00:23:17
and this girl keeps gr this woman keeps grabbing my hand to go into a room or go
00:23:23
away from the group and I keep avoiding it avoiding why why what I mean you're there to see the cougar
00:23:29
yeah but you get the Cougars attention with the meat uh-huh right the cougar gets hungry and gets a Hog Wild right
00:23:35
and then you go no cougar no no I just never I just I just don't don't expose
00:23:41
her to the meat well but the meat went bad I was I had to go home and so I and
00:23:47
she I was like no no no no no no no and then she like kind of assaulted me if I'm being honest and she
00:23:55
just grabbed your dick my dick on top of my jeans like I mean grabbed it hard and
00:24:01
I loved it now be honest loved dude it loved it so hot and she just like
00:24:06
started kissing me you got a wrecked immediately I mean she just I mean you started kissing me oh my God and then and then I was like okay okay okay chill
00:24:13
chill I got nervous and I was like stop it I love it I love it and then my buddy Colin he'll remember him I'm gonna get a
00:24:21
phone call from him after this here my buddy Collins we were living together and he's like oh we gotta go I'm like let's get out of here man and everyone's
00:24:27
kind of packing up and going out to side to smoke out front and like get ready to start walking together and he says this
00:24:32
is from his perspective because I I know what happened on my end but he goes I'm smoking a cigarette I walk out to the
00:24:37
street I get to the street and he goes I turn around I go where's Santino and he looks up and I'm up in her room with my
00:24:44
head out the window and I go I'll see you guys tomorrow and I slowly close the window I slept
00:24:50
over you did it I had a lot of fun we had a lot oh he's blushing you're blushing wow
00:24:55
how old were you I was 23. oh my God what a great and she was no less than 50
00:25:01
something 58 maybe wow but she had a [ __ ] Mansion I mean dude she had just gone through a divorce you could tell it
00:25:07
must have been a six bedroom house like on the beach it was [ __ ] huge and I had to sleep over but I did have a panic
00:25:14
moment in the morning why well I woke up I couldn't believe I was there like oh you're drunk then you drunk the night before we were all drunk we were all
00:25:20
right so you sobered out you're sober well I knew what was going on yeah yeah but I thought when I woke up I got scared because I thought do I have to
00:25:27
like what do I have to do have to bathe her in the morning what do I have to do with her yeah massage her feet like do I do I
00:25:33
owe her now because I'm her little boy toy like what do I do now right and I said I have to go to the bathroom and
00:25:38
she goes okay and this is so [ __ ] up but I went downstairs and she's like there's
00:25:44
a bathroom right here and I was like no no I I just don't want to use the bathroom in front of you and she's like oh okay and I went downstairs and I ran
00:25:51
as fast as I could to go home and I never talked to her again never saw her again well she took advantage of little old me
00:25:58
I was a little boy no thank you you ran down I ran as fast as I could no thank
00:26:03
you I don't know what I thought she was gonna come catch me or something
00:26:09
in her wheelchair
00:26:15
I got so scared I didn't know I ran as fast as I could to go I have questions yeah okay so when you woke up the next
00:26:21
morning all right and you're coming to and you're realizing where you are right yeah and when you looked at her right
00:26:27
what did it look like I want to know that feeling
00:26:32
what did she look like what kind of person did she look like so give me an example of a celebrity but like you know
00:26:39
and I can let's start there okay um do you remember in uh I know exactly
00:26:46
what you look like I'll tell you exactly what you look like you're gonna give me three seconds good good so I can look it up because I know this is real because
00:26:52
he's Googling I'm I'm gonna tell you what I'm gonna tell you what to Google the girl that I was at the club that I
00:26:58
did okay yeah okay will you Google Susan Kellerman okay here we go
00:27:09
Beetlejuice I think that's what it was that woman yeah
00:27:15
exactly what she looked like oh wow the waiting room wow yes that is precisely which and and she smoked in the morning
00:27:23
too so just like this character from Beetlejuice it's exactly what you look like no real because mine was I I feel
00:27:28
like that's not real there's no way there's a bathroom upstairs
00:27:35
will you have bath salts too I mean what the [ __ ] dude oh dude it was it was oh
00:27:41
six what do you want mine's Cherry Jones now Cherry Jones oh that's what she looked like yeah Cherry Jones now though
00:27:48
that's kind of what you look like Cherry Jones now yeah yeah
00:27:53
oh okay okay yeah honestly yeah not bad I like it yeah yeah that's who you get
00:27:59
on your dating sites yeah Cherry Jones yeah yeah by the way what a name Cherry Jones yeah she's great but you know what I had a good
00:28:05
time with that woman wherever she is and you know you know where she is right yeah well she's with my cherry jokes
00:28:12
they have a podcast good friends what's the oldest person you've hooked
00:28:18
up with you mine's not as fun it's just like it's not ashamed 19 with the 30 year old
00:28:26
guy's stories aren't as exciting it's cements you told me about this gentleman yeah a grade A guy yeah sweetheart yeah
00:28:35
a prince but some girls your age you know I because I've been dating you know
00:28:40
with girls that are in their late 20s and stuff she's she's a young she's she's 30 what are you 31 32. yeah
00:28:46
because I've been dating girls in the you know you've seen some of the dates you know and some of them said no I've hooked up with a 60 year old man you
00:28:52
know man it's like some of their stories are wild yeah I think it's when you're like like in the 15 to 19. it's like
00:28:58
weird but then once you get even like young 20s but once you get mid 20s and on it's like the age gaps I don't think
00:29:04
once you get to 24 or 5 then I think a 25 year old with like a Donald Sterling
00:29:11
you know like that isn't that remember that remember that girl that he was it was like at that age then it kind of like it just happens all the time so you
00:29:18
get used to it at that point some 25 year old is with some 74 year old man like this you know she's not 25 but you
00:29:23
know what I mean you see this constantly yeah yeah she's 30 he's 80. yeah yeah
00:29:28
and that is what it is and at 70 is when average men lose some of the their sexuality would you like your
00:29:35
testosterone a little bit I think it happens at 40. yeah I've heard 30. no no seriously well that's that's not for me
00:29:42
that's a person not for me baby 51.50 what is it it's a 51. no but what what's the age men's just stop having sex I
00:29:50
guess never no there is an age 70 75. I don't know my grandfather was [ __ ]
00:29:55
till the end dog really yeah he was seriously he had a girlfriend until he like died between 30 and 40. yeah 13 40.
00:30:02
that's when the testosterone Falls up one percent every year damn it's like losing your egg yeah but can you Google
00:30:09
when when do men I mean it's their yeah what are you asking babe when do men
00:30:15
stop ejaculating look at that that's funny 75 to 85 that's when you what when they like literally sexual life
00:30:22
expectancy that's such a sad term I know your sexual life also by the way most people are dead by 85 so what's the
00:30:28
[ __ ] difference yeah but I bet you you're gonna be coming until you're 80. thank you 100 that's the best compliment
00:30:33
you've ever given me I've given you so many good compliments but that's a good one all right I'll give you another one yeah uh because I think that I'll give
00:30:39
you another 25 years I'm gonna be [ __ ] it feels like oh it's worth living of course what did you not want
00:30:45
to live otherwise yeah if you know I have to say Jesus Christ I
00:30:50
have to say that you know I've seen you know documentaries and stuff where kids and they get a spinal injury and then
00:30:56
they can't have sex because you know there's no feeling down there and in my mind it's like I don't know how I would be able to exist in that state you're
00:31:03
saying if you couldn't up if you couldn't sexually use your penis anymore you don't want to live
00:31:09
what about you if you couldn't use your chocha anymore and you couldn't have sex or have any sensation and by the way not
00:31:16
all people that get paralyzed you know that there's plenty of paraplegics that still have fun I'm not accusing anybody of it no no you're saying
00:31:23
but what I'm telling you is you don't know dude there's people like I don't know Stephen Hawking now that rolls up
00:31:28
he could [ __ ] yeah he [ __ ] are you sure yeah he cheated on his wife and she
00:31:33
left him do you not know the story this guy [ __ ] uh this what is this diagnose 21
00:31:40
years no no look at you Stephen walking he cheated on his [ __ ] wife while he was like fully you want to know
00:31:45
something crazy handicapped and so he's still [ __ ] he went to the island he went to steens he's an empty boy yeah
00:31:52
see look he's cheating on her with strongly he denied it of course 11 years of marriage but but um but look he was in that state
00:31:59
good to see you yeah yeah put that [ __ ] on my face and he could still [ __ ] oh
00:32:04
wow he could still [ __ ] look at him there that's him right there saying can I get can I get head yeah but can I get
00:32:10
him look at this right he can't look down to see their expressions on their face
00:32:15
I'm a man well this is what's even funnier zoom in what is the expression
00:32:21
he makes when he comes I mean is it does it does he go back to normal
00:32:27
yeah he can stand up for a bit yeah I mean
00:32:36
can you imagine he's like this he's getting he's getting sucked and he's just like oh yeah yeah it goes right
00:32:45
back it's like Awakenings this is amazing while we're going to hell no no I don't feel bad if you tell
00:32:51
me he went to steens no but what I'm saying of it there's pictures of him at Epstein's yeah whoa but I'm not talking
00:32:57
about that though what I'm talking about is I know there are people that can't do it I know and I think you know I would
00:33:02
probably become very spiritual you might be you might become like a great artist what do you mean well if you can if you
00:33:08
don't have to focus on [ __ ] oh maybe you could focus on one thing for the rest of your life right think about like dating and girls and losing
00:33:14
your wallet and yeah [ __ ] right just about art well doing better in war zone yeah you'd
00:33:22
best Wars don't play of all time yeah look at my KD look at this yeah what
00:33:27
would you do though what would you do let's let's say let's say you lose all
00:33:32
feeling in your in your or you can't have any sexual pleasure on your side in your organs whatsoever would you live
00:33:39
just to give pleasure if you could never receive would I I would live for sure I
00:33:44
have lots of other things to live for see see she's like it I like it well you
00:33:49
don't you made it sound like you don't I don't you do I like so much to live for but here's can I ask you a question and
00:33:56
I'm not it makes me nervous whenever you ask me if you can ask the way you phrase it I know but it's like because I get a
00:34:03
little uncomfortable he I know so if a woman feels you know I mean no feeling down there
00:34:09
through an accident or whatnot sure a guy could still make love to them though
00:34:16
yeah that's not saying anything wrong that's it for us
00:34:22
they could still have sex yeah but a guy can't because if a guy's because he can't get erect if he has no feeling
00:34:28
yeah yeah you can because they can I mean there's a pump there's a bunch of different versions there's a lot of ways to do this yeah his mouth his hand yeah
00:34:35
nobody what he's saying no but you can I mean look at Stephen Hawking's eyes he's got a [ __ ] he's got a hog dude
00:34:42
he can't even do a fist dude no yeah he's typing all the time oh yeah yeah yeah all right [ __ ] you I'm [ __ ]
00:34:48
you I'm [ __ ] you that's true no dude there's scientific things that can help achieve erection not only just like
00:34:53
boner pills stuff like it still works blood flow yeah but also there's there's like pumps there's gels there's all
00:34:58
sorts of stuff people can use so yeah you can still imagine imagine you're it's Iraq yeah you can't feel anything
00:35:04
and you're just like can you can you play on your Game Boy will you get your
00:35:10
feet you get because you're just looking well I'm sure you're not just looking like a psycho I'm sure you would act you
00:35:17
would kiss oh yeah yeah suck it you'd suck a tit you didn't get oh that's right that's right you suck a tit and engage right apparently that you can
00:35:23
have a lot of pleasure in your ears so they will oh yeah oh yeah because yeah so just do that I want to say this not
00:35:32
like that that'd be so weird I had somebody this
00:35:38
is this is where Twitter because your Twitter your allowed to put up any photo you want right right I had somebody say
00:35:45
um like oh congrats on the special or something like that yeah and the picture even the little icon was pretty racy and
00:35:52
I was like wow like it looked the naked you know what I mean yeah of
00:35:58
course I come to find I want to click on it it's not it's it's like a skin skin colored bikini like it looked nude but
00:36:04
it wasn't nude color bikini and then the one of the first photos or first whatever it says watch me play
00:36:11
with my new punani and I was like oh I get what you're saying my new I know what I know
00:36:19
what it is yeah yeah I don't know she got a new one he got a new one oh well it was a trans uh woman yeah and so and
00:36:28
so I was like does that have a new car smell you think well they have the little little Pine freshener is hanging
00:36:34
off oh really yeah that would smell really good lemon zest I think oh it's brand new but and so I was like I wonder
00:36:41
if there's a final because I do want to see what it looks like me too I'm curious I've never seen it yeah so I
00:36:46
scrolled down and like the fourth or fifth photo was that right there of the reconstructed
00:36:52
because I think and then of course I Googled I was like did they tuck it in do they you know it's like an Audi do they push it as an inning yeah yeah and
00:36:59
I had to Google like how they did imagine if it was like a you're like buying a new car like it's you're a car lot oh show me the parking lot yeah some
00:37:05
guy you know I mean a plaid's dude walks out so what do you want to see show me the [ __ ] facts yeah let me see the history of the [ __ ] facts I want to know
00:37:11
what happened to the puss facts oh right show me how many accidents you're gonna get used to it yeah oh yeah I can't buy new oh all right
00:37:18
days are tough yeah but I had to see I had to see what it looked like and it's it's wild it's wild let me ask you
00:37:24
something because I've never seen one yeah no I don't want to see one you should do so don't go no I don't want to see it why not don't know it I just
00:37:30
don't want to see it right now okay all right yeah I want you to explain it to me it looked it looked does it look like
00:37:37
let me ask you some simple questions is it in the vagina ballpark very very
00:37:43
much Bing it looks great is there an opening oh yeah Bing yeah I'm already in
00:37:49
I'm already still a butthole by the way butthole right there right butthole still good to go but being the three we're being right yeah
00:37:56
um does is there lips oh yeah that's four right and the fine and the
00:38:01
final right can you still see some of his dick yep baby
00:38:10
[Applause] wow wow no no but still some there no no
00:38:16
no okay but it looks I will say because I'm not making fun we're not making fun by the way no yeah it looked no we're
00:38:23
not okay cheers I'm being supportive yeah but I had to look I wanted to know I was [ __ ]
00:38:29
curious that's human nature I wanted to see and it looked impressive oh it's
00:38:34
impressive how good they Google it yeah [Music]
00:38:40
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I'm a little bit worried because I've been gone so long from where I'm a little what do you mean I've been I was
00:41:21
out of town for a [ __ ] month from here I was gone for three and a half weeks I was a little worried because we
00:41:27
did that benefit show for The Comedy Store and the money was gonna go to the it still is gonna go to the door guys and girls yeah but like I haven't been
00:41:33
there to get the checks and give them the money yeah so now Richie was like are you gonna keep this money oh my God
00:41:40
I was like no I'm not gonna keep the money I just haven't been at the club they've been asking I'm sure yeah I'm
00:41:46
glad you brought that up yeah because I was like Andrew just skipped town yeah I left I took it I spent it no it's at the
00:41:52
comedy store but also I asked if they could this is all semantics this isn't fun but I asked if they could distribute
00:41:57
it to them and they said they won't we have to do I know that's what they [ __ ] a nightmare it's a nightmare I was like why can't you guys just give
00:42:03
them the money we made the money you have the money give them the money why do I have to get the money then divide
00:42:09
it up you do that what do you have to divide it bro they can't do it because they say it's like a tax thing so we
00:42:14
have to like we have to just split it up I'm just gonna get cat I'm going to cash it physically and just hand people cash
00:42:20
we've hired a new door guy since then well he doesn't get it he doesn't get it I don't give a [ __ ] I'll give up that
00:42:26
was before the before he got hired after the show yeah and the reason that the door guys and girls got it is because of
00:42:32
their work for that year for last year yeah this new guy [ __ ] off shout out
00:42:37
Chris Riggins and you know what we're not gonna do it next year now because of that because of this because this guy yeah no not because of the guy because
00:42:43
of the way that they [ __ ] us they [ __ ] us now we're gonna do it again everyone do whatever it feels really good yeah yeah but people have been
00:42:49
asking now people like when are we gonna get that money no they've been asking me too everyone forgets about it and then somebody will remember it and they'll be
00:42:56
like oh yeah yeah because we have a check there that I and I haven't been to The Comedy Store in a month do you know
00:43:01
what the check is no I have no idea how much it's for but I'm gonna go get it next week when I come back I'm getting it and everyone's gonna get cash because
00:43:07
I'm not gonna [ __ ] play this game make sure you have a list of all the names and stuff you know she gave them to she gave me the names oh you did yeah
00:43:13
and I'm gonna make sure that guy's not on it how funny if you just never give us money and you do this whole benefit
00:43:18
show every year that's kind of funny and get the credit for it yeah you think I would do that no no but all the work I
00:43:24
put into putting it together no What a Sad twist we watched a movie the other day uh being there have you seen it oh
00:43:31
wait wait wait bring it up because I'm gonna see being there yeah you love that movie how many times have you watched that a thousand times
00:43:37
uh I think I have seen that oh yeah I remember this movie I remember yeah anyone listening right now bad friends
00:43:43
it's a great [ __ ] movie is it as good as my movie that just came out
00:43:48
house party which one which one so I went to go see
00:43:54
house party right in the theater right and I went with my cousin and the old lady 29 is fine it's fine we're getting
00:44:03
better Kevin Hartson got I think it was like 13. oh yeah it's getting better Rising
00:44:08
so we went to go see the movie yeah and I will say I am not I'm going to put this out in
00:44:15
public right now okay I'm not making a joke I'm not making fun okay the move is great it was deeply unfunny
00:44:22
and downright tiresome Katie Walsh at trivia news thank you Katie um no I'm not making fun
00:44:28
but you know how we're in the first row with the bar you know with the bar where you can put your feet up do you know
00:44:34
what I'm talking about yeah down below you is handicap seats yeah now most of the time you can't sit in
00:44:40
those they bar you from buying them you have to buy them at the location because you have to prove that you're also handicapped and you need them where is
00:44:46
the premiere no no this is just in theaters I was gone for the premiere I was in New York oh so you went to go see I just wanted to go see it I was like
00:44:52
let me go support I'll go see it let me go see I just want to see what it looks like exciting you're in a movie you're paying a ticket for the thing that must
00:44:57
be exciting no no I knew what was I going into it I was like oh I could feel it on the internet uh oh you know I knew
00:45:04
all right I knew I knew I knew okay but I was like I'd like to go see in supporter who cares it'll be fun yeah so
00:45:09
my cousin me the old lady we go we're sitting there and 17
00:45:15
20 minutes in in comes a rather large group of handicapped people
00:45:23
and they most of the time those because those chairs are reserved for physical handicapped so you could wheelchair in that's why there's seats missing
00:45:30
but this was a group of handicapped adults that were with a a person and
00:45:37
they were physical not physically handy but mentally handicapped and they were so much funnier than the movie
00:45:45
laughs it was unfucking real I was so I was
00:45:50
having so much fun laughing with them because genuinely yeah LeBron James
00:45:56
hologram come on yeah and he would start hooping and hollering yeah like champ champ
00:46:03
I was dying yeah so much fun right because this was this couldn't it's like
00:46:09
you know how when like you're like how can I follow that right you know on stage it was like they were so [ __ ] funny and then at the end
00:46:18
he stood up and the credits are rolling and they're showing um uh bloopers yeah and he stands up and
00:46:25
he goes like this one of the kids yeah the kids he's a man yeah and he puts his arm wings out
00:46:31
wings out and he literally goes Hollywood uh Hollywood it at 100 years
00:46:36
have a golden Cinema and a beauty I think he thought he was you know on the ark light they talked to you he was
00:46:43
doing a show and he and so we sat and everybody like people people literally went like this they got up to go and
00:46:48
then they sat back down did you see what would happen to see what he was gonna do wow and he and he kept going cinnamon in
00:46:54
a golden age television no movies cinema and he kept
00:47:00
saying Cinema I said Cinema like six times and then he and then he but his arms were big yeah and he and he was actually a pretty big guy and we were
00:47:07
like four feet away from him so a piece of me thought what if he grabs me yeah yeah because they can [ __ ] you up also
00:47:14
did you think that he was gonna turn around see you because what what are the
00:47:19
odds I don't think he really watched much of the movie they were just having a good time oh is
00:47:25
it like like they they kept coming in and out of the room they left like six times yeah one guy threw popcorn on his
00:47:31
buddy like not all of it but like a good amount of it yeah and he laughed and then he threw it back on him they were
00:47:37
having fun dude they were having more fun than anybody could have had with the film but this guy was my favorite
00:47:43
because he was like he was he was doing his like speech his like open speech and then I thought this has got to have some
00:47:49
kind of ending or it's going to be a little strange so then he literally in the middle of talking it was so cool he was like the
00:47:57
the years have gone by then and and he just walked out of the room
00:48:03
how hard did you laugh well we clapped oh that's amazing no we did we clapped we I'm dead serious just to give him
00:48:08
some love I was like all right [ __ ] yeah yeah but that was that was better than the movie wow and
00:48:13
I'm not look I'm not being rude to the movie the move the movie the movie no be
00:48:19
honest it was I didn't I tried we tried you guys tried I didn't I'm not your
00:48:24
best I'm not in the movie I'm barely in it but it just doesn't hum the way I wanted it to hum right I wanted it to be
00:48:30
good so bad I just it was there was really funny moments it's hard to make a good movie but it's a nightmare it stinks yeah making a good movie is like
00:48:36
the hardest thing in the [ __ ] world but it's but it's fun the first movie I was in heirloomar I went to the theater
00:48:42
and I did the worst at the worst thing ever wait what happened in that did hit you with something or someone no in
00:48:48
heroin Kumar her own chroma 3D it hit me with Ed they hit you with eggs yeah yeah but the very first one right it's my
00:48:54
first movie I went to the theater bought a ticket it's a great movie I went to the premiere too yeah but I went and bought ticket and when the lights went
00:49:01
out in the theater I thought people would like recognize me so I would do this like thing like
00:49:08
and no one gave a [ __ ] you and I were the polar opposite I have a hat a hoodie I'm so scared me
00:49:15
I'm just I'm dressed like the character in the movie I'm walking like if you don't mean like
00:49:23
yeah yeah and that was the last time I did that no one gives a [ __ ] well I know I that's right my cousin was like what
00:49:29
if somebody sees you and I was like people may recognize me yeah that was when I got hit by the eggs
00:49:36
yeah that I said people may recognize me in the lobby but they're not going to notice that I'm in the theater no one's paying attention enough in a movie
00:49:42
theater to notice that's you right although I will say this let's just say it embarrassing is it
00:49:47
embarrassing not for me okay but there is a scene it's a big party scene yeah
00:49:53
and this is how you reminded that you're in Los Angeles a girl behind us audibly
00:50:00
audibly kept going oh that's me that's that's no to her friend she was a
00:50:06
background actor in the party scene and I dude I proof you can [ __ ] we were sitting there all of us kept looking at
00:50:12
each other like why is she doing that but it was it was under her breath but loud where she would go
00:50:18
that's me and you can hear a friend going I know I know I see it yeah I know I see it and
00:50:25
she kept going then she was sitting behind you not in
00:50:30
front of you right behind me yeah I match with a girl right and on
00:50:36
her Instagram you know the story you could you can title it yeah it said I made it I made
00:50:43
it yeah I click on it and it's this low budget movie She Made it right did she
00:50:50
make it physically and I had to watch it four times to see where she was in the thing
00:51:00
I'm not kidding you right yeah like less than Brian Callan in the Joker yeah the back is the back
00:51:07
side of somebody it was like this and she was like I made it I'm in Hollywood she did though maybe that is what I'm
00:51:14
saying is it's just doing delusional thing it's too delusional it's a little much yeah but she did make it though to
00:51:21
her to her I I want to say something arrogant right now do it baby you want to do it baby
00:51:30
if you have a line you can say that right if you're speechless you didn't make it don't you think or no no oh so
00:51:37
you think if you're just if you're working if your elbows in it your ear you did it you're a piece of the project
00:51:43
all right you're right yeah that's how I feel
00:51:50
all levels of it are different but also I think it's strange like what that girl did which is like yelling I'm yeah
00:51:56
that's what it bothered well it was weird no it's not weird it bothers you no isn't it weird that's weird no it's
00:52:02
not weird you're like no I'm serious no you no I don't care yes you do no I'm
00:52:07
telling you I don't care that she celebrated her win I just think it's strange to do it loud enough that other
00:52:12
people hear yeah that's a strange thing so nowhere in your mind your you thought
00:52:17
I'm actually in this movie and I don't give a [ __ ] piece of my mind actually went I'm in this movie and I don't want
00:52:23
anybody to know I'm in this [ __ ] movie yeah and so that irritated you no but what I'll say is I feel like a jerk
00:52:28
right now no no it's because everything no everything I'm saying you're going against and now I feel like a [ __ ] part of the show I feel like a [ __ ]
00:52:34
[ __ ] I thought I was being real and talking about like how you felt that is how you know what dude I should have your point of view
00:52:40
they did make it okay she made it she made it yeah yeah but can I congratulations okay so I'll tell you one more what happened to me today in
00:52:47
the Uber in the Uber today okay the guy goes he's wearing a Yankees hand or
00:52:52
something and something how New York came up I said oh I'm going to New York in the morning and he was like he's like man I love New
00:52:58
York I'm like me too I'm gonna go spend some time over there this year I want to you know go there for a little while and he's like you're gonna move to New York I was like well I mean you know
00:53:04
informally and he's like wow so you're leaving La and I was like well I'm not I'm not like
00:53:10
leaving and he's like just giving up huh I swear to God yeah he said they were
00:53:17
given up and I was like no I mean I'm not he goes all right well just fill me in I've only been here for a couple
00:53:22
years like what is and he hasn't looked at me really once in the rear view yeah like he doesn't even looked me in the eye he's kind of speaking just as he's
00:53:28
staring not like it would matter but like we didn't even make eye contact he was just staring and he just goes as someone's only been here for two years
00:53:35
what is it that made you kind of quit yeah and he goes is it relationships is
00:53:40
it your career like are things just not panning out yeah and I was like no no
00:53:45
I'm very happy I'm very happy and he was like yeah but what's making you like you
00:53:51
know what'd you want to say though what what you want to say the things that you're saying right now
00:53:56
is what sounds good listening right and you wouldn't say it
00:54:03
out loud even in that I could never say I don't do great yeah that's what that's what you want to say no I don't want to
00:54:09
say it it's just no you do no no no but you don't say it because it sounds gross I want to say yeah I want to say things
00:54:16
are really good too many Paparazzi I'm not leaving yeah well there's an Uber X so there's not much you can say yeah
00:54:22
yeah okay it's an uberX all right because he because if I was like I'm doing great so good he'd be like
00:54:28
there's an uberX right and you didn't pay for priority yeah like he dropped someone off and then he got me right so
00:54:35
I couldn't say anything but I didn't want to but it does feel weird when someone's like so you gave up and you're like none no yeah I didn't give up yeah
00:54:42
no I'm doing great and they're like wow but you're giving up yeah well I'm not giving up
00:54:48
I'm giving up I'm giving up he's right though I am I'm giving up and I'm giving and I'm getting
00:54:55
out why are you doing that because it's just it's not leaving he's absolutely that's how gross this
00:55:02
thing is he's not moving I am you're not I am it sounds like you you're not okay
00:55:07
what did I say if you did I don't know I'm done with the podcast
00:55:14
yeah you're staying no I'm being real I'm not [ __ ] around you're coming you're coming in I'm not
00:55:19
going to New York yeah you are no if you had a job there I do oh no you don't yeah we do we're shooting you there
00:55:25
what what is I can't say it I can tell you all fair
00:55:30
no you're not you're lying I swear to God I swear to God there's nothing that you could be shooting there that like you'd have to move there for three
00:55:36
months yeah okay maybe more no
00:55:42
that's [ __ ] well who knows why don't you just admit that you're afraid to lose me
00:55:48
as a as a friend and a homie why don't you just admit that you're afraid of me going away well let's explore that
00:55:54
nothing to do with the show yeah just admit that you're like you're sad that I would be gone
00:56:00
I think what I'm sad about is like you know um I don't think that John and Paul did
00:56:06
better after the Beatles they just kind of carved their own way right but it's still not the Beatles
00:56:14
are you John I'm whatever you want me to be in this because I know you're going to say you're gonna make a joke on Pete best
00:56:19
you know yeah you know who you and I really are what we're we're Ringo and [ __ ] George Harrison that's fine yeah
00:56:26
that's that's more I'll be Ringo I'll be right in the scenario no no no I'm gonna go I play drums okay what is she then oh
00:56:32
Yoko yeah Linda McCartney yeah yeah
00:56:39
so I was at the same thing that happened to me I was at a um a meeting in San Diego and you know no one knew at this
00:56:46
amends me no one knew who I was and afterwards I bet somebody knew who you were maybe but like you know and
00:56:51
sometimes you know after the meeting I'm a guy from out of town but go ahead we're gonna go eat at this Diner
00:56:58
right and they asked me they go what do you do some guy asked me he had overalls
00:57:03
on older white man and I go I just stand up and you know this podcast like yeah but you know Asian kid like yourself she
00:57:11
gone to college man you want to make money don't you is every white guy a racist today I don't know he's like you
00:57:17
want to make money don't you I mean because you know these are dreams and these kind of dreams you're sober now
00:57:22
man you should take responsibility oh go to college and I I wanted to say what
00:57:27
you wanted to say in that car is I'm [ __ ] killing it no yeah but you can't say it no because you're a girl so I
00:57:33
went you're right man I'll think about it maybe I'll go to Palomar Junior College you know what I mean and just
00:57:39
like figure out a vocation but one day that guy's gonna be taking a [ __ ] coming through YouTube yeah see you it's not
00:57:46
say YouTube everyone's on YouTube one day that guy's gonna be taking a [ __ ] watching what he's gonna be
00:57:52
watching PornHub see you right right and then be like
00:57:58
that guy's killing his dreams came true but that's is it the same kind of thing yeah yeah it's [ __ ] annoying it's
00:58:04
annoying and you don't say anything well I mean look you I bet you juice you've had this at your at your level even
00:58:09
still on the come up where you're like and we're still on the come up that's the funny thing so I was trying to tell someone he's like it never stops but I
00:58:16
bet you where you're at someone has said something to you where you're like no I'm like doing good like things are
00:58:22
going good but they talk to you like it's like your little like yeah your little comedy [ __ ] dream is that do
00:58:29
you feel that have you ever had that yeah I've had that I I've had it where like
00:58:34
um people will be really nice but they'll be giving me all sorts of advice right and I'm like oh and I go oh thank
00:58:40
you also from that so paid regulars yeah and like and you know that's gotta
00:58:46
[ __ ] make you mad no well it it makes me kind of like uncomfortable because I'm like I don't want to tell them I I
00:58:52
don't want to be like I know but but I had Express so somebody
00:58:59
I'm like a name name but I was talking to you at the comedy store and then when I we departed another common character
00:59:05
because who is that and I go I wanted to say this oh that girl
00:59:11
she's got a career and you don't I was like but
00:59:18
[Laughter] but she is but I know who she is no but it was like one of those things where
00:59:24
it's like I want to you know really just you know go no that's the future well it's like just have you ever had it where like somebody gives you
00:59:30
um tags or joke notes that you quite frankly don't want tags or joke notes from yeah that [ __ ] Breaks My Soul To
00:59:36
Pieces when somebody I have had so much when somebody gives you like a tag or a
00:59:41
joke note that you're like do you think I would listen to you like the person
00:59:47
you'd want to give you a joke note or a tag yeah that works in every career like the person you would want to give you
00:59:52
filmmaking script notes director they would never give them to you yeah I have
00:59:58
a text I want to show you this happened to me you've heard the phrase those who can't tag those who can't tag
01:00:04
it's just crazy to me when I've had people do that and you're like I would look like an [ __ ] if I said anything
01:00:09
other than oh cool man so this guy right here right I tried a joke for the first
01:00:14
time last week okay but that's he's trying to fix the joke yeah but I already knew what the problem was yeah I
01:00:20
see it no that's not that's not the joke right so what I'm saying is I tried it the second time now it's a part of my
01:00:26
repertoire it's doing well right yeah but it's that [ __ ] that I get all the time it's the wrong thing yeah it's
01:00:33
the wrong thing you saw who it's from yeah yeah yeah yeah but that would but I think that's I think this is a lesson for people in life to get back to
01:00:39
listeners for all of our fans uh don't think you're bigger than you are is that what it is because when
01:00:46
people think they're bigger than they are I didn't see that coming well don't
01:00:51
think that you can impart your sh like your [ __ ] don't offer advice unless somebody wants it yeah if I want to give
01:00:57
a tag because sometimes I like giving tags to my friends yeah I know them really well but I always go like
01:01:03
hey can I give you a tag because I don't want to just go up and give it you know yeah but you know there's a rhythm to it
01:01:09
yeah you find a good time and also you get it if it's me and him it would be a it would just it's you there you know
01:01:16
when it's appropriate yeah you everybody [ __ ] knows everybody knows the rhythm
01:01:21
of it where you'd be like if I came to you and I said privately I was like Bob when you did that and the you know you
01:01:28
know what you know what you know be [ __ ] amazing yeah but you'd take that differently than when somebody just throw stuff at you that you don't
01:01:35
know that well like Griffin does it all the time and 60 of the time he's right yeah and I listen to him yeah sometimes
01:01:42
I go I don't think so but like sometimes like oh I'll try it you know what I mean but you got to do it in his voice I can't try hey man
01:01:50
you gotta do it this way man you gotta do it this way Bob so anyway um
01:01:55
wow what an interesting podcast today we've been all over the place how close are we to getting you in your
01:02:01
own apartment really close I'm just waiting uh to decide what to do like when the tour
01:02:08
comes out if we're gone for a whole month I feel like I shouldn't get the place right before we go yeah so I'm
01:02:13
like wait to get the place after we get back and just you can oh honestly and this is gonna sound you're not gonna do this but
01:02:21
if you literally needed some help financially you can always go to us well
01:02:27
thank you guys you know that right but this whole thing is another stream of income so it's already been such a great help I I'm calculating my income and
01:02:35
everything and I'm I'm doing better than I thought it was I just want you to I want you to get your own we'll help you
01:02:40
I think I can do it and you guys are helping me you know you go so long with making so little that now that I'm
01:02:46
starting to make a little bit more I'm like afraid to spend it because I'm afraid it's going to end but what's happening is I'm only getting more
01:02:52
opportunities so I just need to take the jump and the risk and just do it so if you look at your bank account you can
01:02:58
seal rise in your savings yeah that's awesome yeah and I think I'm ready to to
01:03:03
get the place but now it's just a timing thing yeah when we get back yeah because
01:03:09
I I could get it I could like go out and look but I don't you think it'd be it
01:03:14
better to wait until after we're gone for almost two months prom maybe but also maybe it'd be nice to come home to
01:03:20
a place that's your I mean I don't know yeah it would support it either way we'll figure it out either way because
01:03:26
we want you to have your own place it'll be really exciting because at one point in your life you're not going to ever live alone again
01:03:32
what do you mean well you either get married and live with somebody or like Bobby where you have a house
01:03:38
full of vigilante [ __ ] Filipinos you know this week they're moving it makes
01:03:44
me what yeah they're packing it's so sad oh God I think it's amazing it's gonna
01:03:49
be so lonely wait where's everybody going they got a house in the Philippines no in L.A they're letting them stay yes I
01:03:58
thought you were like a guardian I called I didn't say I called them wait so they got a house yeah oh wow the girls are
01:04:04
gone yeah they're leaving what would you like would you like me to move in we should we'd have so much fun if we
01:04:11
lived together we would kill each other no because we're I'm never home and you're always home oh that's true you'd
01:04:17
be there and I'm never there yeah but then you're gonna make me get stuff well like what get the cheese [Laughter]
01:04:25
of course with you I know we would [ __ ] order Amazon delivery I know but can I get the cheese for you yeah
01:04:33
I want to get the Mexican cheese so wait let's be real for a second okay you you are gonna be living alone yeah are you a
01:04:40
little scared I'm really it's sad job because now we're like I'm like take the take the left take the lamp oh my God
01:04:47
it's like that yeah what about the animals the animals are gone all of them the four dogs yes oh my God so nothing's
01:04:54
gonna be no one else the cats are at the house yes are you gonna get a dog at the house again no that's it yeah you're not
01:05:01
gonna I can't do dog you love dogs hungry
01:05:06
but you're done yeah so give me be real no jokes
01:05:12
your first thought when you when you think about you have being in the Home Alone what's your very first thought the
01:05:18
ghost of your mind silence you can invite girls over no
01:05:25
yeah but you know what's what's great about my house it is true there's always
01:05:32
people there and there's laughter communal and communal and camaraderie a
01:05:39
sense of family yeah and when that's gone it's gonna be an empty cold house
01:05:45
how can you change that you know what you could do is invite over more friends I was gonna say human
01:05:52
trafficking okay yeah that's a good idea okay that's a good idea that's actually a really really good idea what I was
01:05:57
gonna say but I think that's wrong but I think you can invite over more friends why don't you why don't you invite more people over
01:06:03
yeah you know what you could do you could do like the Paulie thing just befriend up and come and comment
01:06:08
let them stay at your house well this is a message to all young guys out there right now go up to Bobby did
01:06:15
that to you didn't you stay in policy you stayed at Polly's house you stayed in the studio right yeah yeah I paid
01:06:21
rent yeah and it wasn't a part of his house it was a completely different building but then you can do this where you don't make the guys and girls pay
01:06:27
rent that live with you you just want the camaraderie and the family in the community I'll tell the door guys right now yes juice do that we can all stay
01:06:35
with you yeah you can you could spend the night one night I have a bed one night well I can't move all my stuff I
01:06:42
just want to be real let's be real it's gonna be lonely I've got an idea yeah this is actually perfect this is perfect
01:06:48
to what we just talked about juice gets out of her place before we go on tour stores all her [ __ ] at your
01:06:55
house yes so when she comes back she doesn't have to pay for this place that she isn't living at she stores at your
01:07:00
house then she spends a little bit of time at your house downstairs in the bedroom downstairs then when we
01:07:06
get back allergic to cats no I love cats all right so you can stay there so let her put your stuff in you for a couple
01:07:12
one month a couple months two months okay no no no things got weird though if I lived with you what way I don't know
01:07:18
like um I'm hanging out in the kitchen and you come home with a young girl and you
01:07:24
don't hang out you don't hang out in the kitchen first okay stay in my room stay in your [ __ ] room okay well you downstairs there's a bathroom and you
01:07:32
know um a bedroom and you have all the little thing fixings down there you're not gonna like open the door and and like move me or
01:07:40
something nope and do what like a meerkat what'd you say Moon me or something
01:07:45
she takes off and she doesn't talk to us I know I can tell and then we're and then we're like and then the boys call her and they're like and Fancy's like
01:07:50
Hey Jessie I've called you three times it's um we have to shoot tonight what are you yeah yeah and she a text comes
01:07:57
in from her phone and says this is Jesse's assistant yeah Jesse we'll get back to you when she's here assistant
01:08:03
yeah or she comes to the store she sees us in the hallway and she goes the other way around oh oh that would burn she
01:08:11
goes to the office kitchen way yeah you're right well she's fancy like that I do that a lot I go through the kitchen way yeah sometimes I don't want to say
01:08:17
hi who does it the most though out of YouTube oh yeah Sebastian's the king of there what out of me I do it a lot yeah
01:08:23
you and Sebastian both do that but occasionally there will be a night where you'll like talk to everybody and it's
01:08:29
fun but Sebastian's like in and out in and out yeah I do talk to people sometimes I just sometimes I just want
01:08:35
to I just want to go in the store but because then you have to say hi to everybody on the Patty what am I like
01:08:40
yeah you're very social yeah you love it yeah you get there early and you leave late thank you it's fun thank you for
01:08:47
being a bad friend [Music]
01:08:57
never once has someone gone when you walk it imagine okay but here's why if
01:09:03
you walk in you if they go hi and you go hey but if they went why'd he say Hello in Korean
01:09:11
they'd be like there's outside no he slipped that's right I slipped I
01:09:18
slept I do it again that was like my words like yeah
01:09:23
why do why don't you guys have a little fun add-ins like Japanese always like
01:09:29
because because 20 000 years ago when they were developing the language I
01:09:35
wasn't there you should dude because if I was at that meeting oh there'd be all kinds of crazy stuff
01:09:42
yeah yeah different things [Music] laughs
01:09:50
[Music]
