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He's a Rat! | Ep 223 | Bad Friends

June 01, 2026 / 59:22

This episode features discussions about eye exams, dental hygiene, and humorous anecdotes involving personal health experiences. Hosts Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino share their thoughts on vision correction and the importance of regular check-ups.

Bobby talks about his recent visit to the eye doctor, where he learned he needs glasses for long-distance vision. He humorously recounts how he was amazed by the clarity glasses provided, comparing it to a miracle.

The conversation shifts to dental hygiene, with Bobby and Andrew discussing their flossing habits and dental check-ups. Bobby admits to not flossing regularly, while Andrew claims he does so every day.

The hosts also engage in playful banter about their health routines, with Bobby joking about his dietary choices and Andrew teasing him about his breath. They share laughs over their contrasting approaches to health and wellness.

As the episode progresses, they touch on various topics, including their experiences on tour and the dynamics of their friendship, all while maintaining a light-hearted tone.

TL;DR

Bobby shares his eye exam experience and dental habits while Andrew jokes about health routines and their friendship dynamics.

Episode

59:22
00:00:00
You two are bad friends.
00:00:01
>> Who are these two idiots?
00:00:03
>> A white dude and an Asian dude. You two
00:00:07
are disgusting.
00:00:09
>> Oh, you two are something.
00:00:10
>> We're bad friends.
00:00:12
>> Finally, I saw an eye doctor today.
00:00:13
>> What did the doc say?
00:00:14
>> He We took a bunch of tests.
00:00:16
>> Yeah. Like what? Like a a bfq.
00:00:18
>> No, he he said there was one word called
00:00:20
hov.
00:00:21
>> Hov. Yeah.
00:00:21
>> Yeah. Yeah. He goes, "What does that say
00:00:22
>> there?" It said hotov.
00:00:23
>> Yeah. Hotov. Yeah. Yeah. And I go, "Um,
00:00:26
amlim."
00:00:28
>> Yeah. Yeah. And he goes, "That's way
00:00:29
off, right?" Both eyes. Then he scanned
00:00:33
the inner tal of all where all the like
00:00:35
um
00:00:35
>> That's only an Asian cell. That's only
00:00:37
an Asian thing.
00:00:38
>> Yeah, I know.
00:00:38
>> They don't have to do that for us.
00:00:39
>> And what you know what the cells are?
00:00:40
They're squinty.
00:00:42
>> The cells were squinty, dude.
00:00:43
>> Even the cells under microscope.
00:00:45
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:00:46
>> Wait, get up that get that test up and
00:00:48
let me see if we can do it. Ready, Bob?
00:00:49
You
00:00:49
>> I already know. Okay.
00:00:51
>> Okay. Well, that's not Do the other one
00:00:52
you just had. There it is.
00:00:53
>> This one. Okay. What are you going to
00:00:54
do?
00:00:54
>> No, I want to do
00:00:55
>> Well, you're I'm closer. Your eyes are
00:00:58
way better than mine.
00:00:58
>> No, I just want to see what line you can
00:01:00
get down to. So, the first first
00:01:01
>> from here.
00:01:02
>> No, one, two, and three are fine. Do the
00:01:03
fourth line. Fourth line down.
00:01:05
>> T H V O H T O V.
00:01:07
>> Next one.
00:01:09
>> Here we go.
00:01:12
>> H V T O T V H V T O.
00:01:16
>> Great. Next one.
00:01:17
>> Now I'm done. Q2 N.
00:01:19
>> No, Q. It's O again. I mean, the letters
00:01:22
are the same in every single
00:01:23
>> Okay. My point is is that
00:01:25
>> and the bottom one. Can you do that one?
00:01:26
I can't do the bottom one.
00:01:27
>> V O T H T O.
00:01:30
>> Wow.
00:01:31
>> Wow.
00:01:31
>> That one's teeny tiny from here.
00:01:33
>> Yeah. So I
00:01:34
>> But but the doctor said you have
00:01:36
>> you have long distance.
00:01:37
>> He's got little Asian eyes.
00:01:40
>> I love that.
00:01:40
>> You have long distance. And he goes, "I
00:01:42
want to show you something. It's a
00:01:44
miracle." And I go, "What is it?" He
00:01:46
goes, "Walk outside with me." So he was
00:01:48
Asian, by the way.
00:01:49
>> He's like, "Can I get a picture?"
00:01:51
He was Asian, by the way. And he goes,
00:01:54
"Look over there. What do you see?" I
00:01:56
go, I don't know nothing. And he put
00:01:58
these glasses on me. I go, those are
00:02:01
trees.
00:02:04
Like literally, I saw nothing. And he
00:02:07
put the glasses on. This is across the
00:02:09
street. I saw trees. Dude,
00:02:11
>> you act like this is crazy science. It's
00:02:13
just glasses.
00:02:14
>> I know, but I've never had them before.
00:02:17
And then
00:02:17
>> this is like when babies get colear
00:02:19
implants and they can hear.
00:02:21
>> So, what I'm saying is that
00:02:23
>> 19 What? What is that? Glasses were
00:02:25
invented in 1268. They've been around.
00:02:27
>> I know. I HAVEN'T CAUGHT UP YET, DUDE.
00:02:29
OKAY. But when you you know, BECAUSE I'M
00:02:32
YOU KNOW, I know,
00:02:34
>> dude. Since the 13th century, we've had
00:02:36
glasses.
00:02:37
>> I know. I There's an Asian guy wearing
00:02:38
them.
00:02:39
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They've been wearing
00:02:40
them for years. Yeah. Yeah.
00:02:41
>> It's amazing.
00:02:42
>> So So, um I'm getting I don't know what
00:02:44
they're called, but I'm getting the
00:02:46
distance one. You know, all my cool
00:02:48
glasses I wear,
00:02:50
>> I'm getting both lenses
00:02:51
>> prescriptions. Yeah. I'm gonna The top
00:02:53
is going to be long distance and the
00:02:54
bottom is going to be so I can read up
00:02:56
front.
00:02:57
>> Yeah.
00:02:57
>> Oh, so you really you'll be data. You'll
00:02:59
be actually data.
00:02:59
>> I'll be data. But it's so funny. After I
00:03:01
took the glasses off,
00:03:04
>> everything seemed blurry.
00:03:06
>> Well, Christ.
00:03:06
>> So, right now everything seems blurry.
00:03:09
So, maybe I can't see.
00:03:10
>> Well, did they do the drops in your
00:03:11
eyes?
00:03:12
>> No.
00:03:13
>> Wait, don't they do that right when you
00:03:15
dilate your eyes? Dude, let me just say
00:03:17
something to you
00:03:19
>> because I'm not in the best mood and I
00:03:20
would like to say something to everyone.
00:03:22
Not you
00:03:23
>> to these three. Okay.
00:03:24
>> Mhm.
00:03:24
>> I don't do drop by.
00:03:27
>> Okay. I went to
00:03:28
>> You have drop by?
00:03:29
>> I have drop.
00:03:30
>> You don't do drop.
00:03:31
>> I don't do drop by. I have Drop by.
00:03:32
Yeah. Yeah.
00:03:33
>> So why can't you read them?
00:03:34
>> No, I'm saying.
00:03:38
>> Dude,
00:03:40
>> you take it. You know what? Unbutton one
00:03:42
more button.
00:03:42
>> Yeah. Yeah. Unbutton one more button.
00:03:44
>> Unbutton one more. Little pork
00:03:45
>> with a deru shirt. I don't know what
00:03:47
it's called.
00:03:47
>> That's a good thing.
00:03:50
>> Now, let me just say something.
00:03:52
>> Why don't you unbutton one button?
00:03:54
>> All right. So, I went to I I called my
00:03:56
assistant and I said, "I don't want I
00:04:00
want future shit."
00:04:02
>> Oh, yeah. Yeah.
00:04:03
>> So, so they had me in a lab with
00:04:05
machinery. Yeah.
00:04:07
>> And And you know what I mean? You know
00:04:09
what I mean?
00:04:10
>> Give me what NASA does.
00:04:11
>> Yeah. That's what NASA did. So they they
00:04:13
were able to see the interior of my eye,
00:04:15
the actual thing. And guess what? He
00:04:17
goes, "Your eyesight is going to be fine
00:04:19
until your 80s."
00:04:20
>> Cuz you have good eyes.
00:04:21
>> Yeah. He says, he asked me some genetic
00:04:23
questions. There's no blindness.
00:04:25
>> Does your mom have glasses?
00:04:26
>> No.
00:04:27
>> My dad did though,
00:04:28
>> right?
00:04:28
>> And my brother does.
00:04:30
>> Steve does.
00:04:30
>> Yeah, he does. Yeah. Cuz he caught it
00:04:32
early.
00:04:33
>> Yeah. Once you catch it early.
00:04:34
>> Yeah. Yeah. But so now what I'm going to
00:04:35
do is I'm going to do everything with
00:04:37
glasses on. Even make love.
00:04:40
>> You have to have them.
00:04:41
>> Yeah. Because I don't think I've seen
00:04:42
it. Right.
00:04:43
>> Right.
00:04:43
>> Yeah. Everything's been blurry.
00:04:45
>> That's where all your confusion.
00:04:47
>> That's my BELLY BUTTON. WHAT?
00:04:49
>> WHAT?
00:04:50
>> YEAH. YEAH. I'm going to see it. He
00:04:52
goes, "You're going to see life in high
00:04:55
death
00:04:56
>> HD."
00:04:56
>> Yeah. For the first time. But then I go,
00:04:59
"When I get 3 weeks?"
00:05:01
>> Well, yeah. It takes They got to make
00:05:02
them, right? It's got to be
00:05:03
>> Well, I want my style.
00:05:04
>> Yeah.
00:05:04
>> So, I'm taking my you mean the glasses I
00:05:06
wear. I'm going to punch out all those
00:05:08
you mean lenses and put those lenses.
00:05:10
>> They'll do They'll do custom.
00:05:11
>> Oh, they're doing they're doing custom
00:05:12
work for
00:05:13
>> Give me Give me the lyrics to the song.
00:05:14
Uh, Betty Davis Eyes.
00:05:17
>> Betty D. Yeah. Well, it's spelled wrong,
00:05:19
but that's fine. Betty, it'll get there.
00:05:20
Yeah.
00:05:20
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:05:21
>> His hair is bre.
00:05:24
>> Wait, don't do it in an Asian accent.
00:05:25
>> I didn't.
00:05:26
>> Yeah.
00:05:26
>> I don't even know.
00:05:29
>> Marlo,
00:05:31
>> what does that even
00:05:31
>> Marlo Gold? Yeah, but it's I just like
00:05:33
this part. She's got Betty. She got
00:05:35
Betty.
00:05:36
>> He's got little Asian eyes. Yeah. And
00:05:39
he'll tease you. He'll you
00:05:43
>> all the better just to please you.
00:05:46
>> Bob's precocious. Yeah.
00:05:48
>> And he knows just what it takes to make
00:05:51
a pro blush. I love it. Yeah.
00:05:54
>> She's got Greta Garbos. Greta Garbo
00:05:56
standoff size. Bobb's got little Asian
00:05:58
eyes. Beautiful.
00:05:59
>> She's got Genghask Khan standout. Right.
00:06:03
Let's change it.
00:06:03
>> Standoff size. Genghaskhan standoff
00:06:05
size.
00:06:05
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:06:06
>> You have beautiful little eyes. I went
00:06:07
to the dentist this morning. What? And
00:06:09
let me guess,
00:06:10
>> brother. They say the same thing every
00:06:11
time.
00:06:12
>> You got two?
00:06:12
>> No, I got zero this time.
00:06:13
>> Thank God.
00:06:14
>> But but they say the same thing every
00:06:15
time. And she's so nice about it.
00:06:18
>> Do you are you have you been How much
00:06:21
are you flossing?
00:06:22
>> Uh
00:06:23
>> I said I am flossing. She said, "How
00:06:25
much?" I said, "Almost never."
00:06:28
>> YEAH.
00:06:29
>> I'm honest about it.
00:06:30
>> All right. I'm going to show you
00:06:31
something. All right, guys.
00:06:31
>> I mean, I'm trying.
00:06:32
>> I know you're trying.
00:06:33
>> Okay. How about this? I'm going to get
00:06:34
in one maybe two days a week.
00:06:36
>> I always have.
00:06:37
>> You do? You're good.
00:06:38
>> Yeah. Yeah, but I've been using this one
00:06:39
for a year.
00:06:43
>> It's the same one.
00:06:44
>> It's the same one.
00:06:45
>> But it doesn't even have a string on it
00:06:46
anymore. It's gone.
00:06:46
>> It's the Yeah, string's gone. But
00:06:48
>> how many days a week are you flossing
00:06:49
for real?
00:06:49
>> Every day.
00:06:50
>> Every day. What about you?
00:06:51
>> Every day.
00:06:52
>> Three times a week.
00:06:53
>> Three.
00:06:53
>> Four.
00:06:55
>> Four.
00:06:55
>> Mhm.
00:06:56
>> Wow. I'm way behind.
00:06:57
>> Rest on the weekends.
00:06:58
>> Yeah.
00:06:59
>> Well, God needed I do one to two days a
00:07:01
week because it's like on the move and
00:07:02
and you know what it really is? It's
00:07:03
usually after a big meal out. But if
00:07:05
like today I had smoothie and a [ __ ]
00:07:08
It's like
00:07:08
>> I'm going to I'm brushing three day
00:07:10
three times a three times day. No,
00:07:12
you're not.
00:07:12
>> No, I brush in the morning when I get
00:07:13
home and then before I go to bed.
00:07:14
>> Okay. I don't think so.
00:07:16
>> My mom No, my mom did it to me. My mom
00:07:18
did midday.
00:07:18
>> What about this? Morning floss and then
00:07:21
night.
00:07:22
>> Morning floss instead of
00:07:23
>> Yeah. The midday one just floss.
00:07:25
>> I like the midday brush because then in
00:07:27
case my wife and I have a midday hookup,
00:07:28
it's a nice brush cuz then you have
00:07:29
fresh breath in the middle of the day.
00:07:30
>> I do a midday poo. I do three.
00:07:32
>> I do that while I'm pooing. Brush. Okay.
00:07:34
Okay.
00:07:34
>> It's one of the same.
00:07:35
>> Yeah.
00:07:36
>> But I that don't see he's agreeing. A
00:07:37
midday brush is really nice.
00:07:39
>> You you know what the dentist told me? I
00:07:41
have so many missing teeth. He said by
00:07:42
the age of 60, all of them are going to
00:07:44
fall out.
00:07:45
>> Congrats. That's huge.
00:07:46
>> So then I don't know what to do.
00:07:47
>> Well, your vision will be good, but your
00:07:48
mouth will be
00:07:51
>> perfect vision with gums.
00:07:53
>> Yeah,
00:07:53
>> I can see everything.
00:08:00
>> I'm [ __ ]
00:08:01
>> [ __ ] I'm [ __ ]
00:08:02
>> Wait, what? By the way, you're just
00:08:02
going to get end up getting what
00:08:03
everybody gets is caps. Everybody gets
00:08:05
caps now.
00:08:05
>> No. What? No. What they have to do is
00:08:07
drill into my bone.
00:08:09
>> But wait a minute. Veneers are different
00:08:10
than um caps. You can just get caps on.
00:08:13
>> No. He said that my teeth are so weak.
00:08:16
>> Why?
00:08:16
>> I don't know why.
00:08:17
>> You have, let me see. You have great
00:08:19
teeth.
00:08:19
>> I know, but they're weak. The
00:08:20
foundations and the root, it's all
00:08:23
[ __ ]
00:08:24
>> I have like gingivis number five or
00:08:25
whatever.
00:08:26
>> But Koreans usually have very strong
00:08:27
teeth. You can look this up. Koreans are
00:08:29
actually known to have some of the
00:08:29
strongest teeth in the world.
00:08:30
>> Yeah. So, how come you didn't get that?
00:08:32
I
00:08:32
>> I don't know. Genetically, I got the
00:08:34
armpit thing, but that's it.
00:08:35
>> You did get the armpit thing. Yeah.
00:08:36
Yeah.
00:08:36
>> Look at this. Yes. Look at this. Zoom
00:08:38
in. Many Koreans have strong, healthy
00:08:39
teeth. A culture of meticulous oral
00:08:41
hygiene. Prevalent 333 rule. Brushing
00:08:43
three times a day. Told you.
00:08:45
>> Three minutes each. I'm telling you, in
00:08:46
Kore Koreans are known for having
00:08:48
phenomenal teeth. This was an exception.
00:08:50
>> This one was an exception to the rule.
00:08:51
And that's why he's the most famous
00:08:52
Korean in the world. Watch your [ __ ]
00:08:53
mouth, Spaniard.
00:08:54
>> Yeah, you bastard. You know, the
00:08:56
disrespect is out of and out of control
00:08:58
today.
00:08:59
>> You've been nuts today. Yeah, he was
00:09:00
came with an attitude this morning.
00:09:01
>> I know. Hey, he was on the phone in the
00:09:03
parking lot.
00:09:03
>> I saw
00:09:04
>> and he waved ME OFF.
00:09:05
>> I SAW I SAW I saw
00:09:06
>> waved me off.
00:09:07
>> I This is what he did. Okay. I saw I saw
00:09:09
I saw everything. Okay.
00:09:11
>> He comes out of Right. goes towards your
00:09:14
car. I left a space for you cuz I know
00:09:16
how angry you get.
00:09:16
>> Thank you.
00:09:17
>> If I'm park close.
00:09:18
>> Well, cuz the doors hit cuz our parking
00:09:20
spots were made were made by Brad
00:09:21
Williams designed our parking lot.
00:09:22
>> Yeah. Yeah. So, I put a space between us
00:09:26
and he comes out and he's the the door's
00:09:28
literally between our cars and he goes
00:09:31
towards you for some business
00:09:33
information.
00:09:34
>> Andrew busy,
00:09:35
>> right? Then I and you're on the phone.
00:09:37
You're busy. So, I'm available and I
00:09:39
turn to Andrew and I go, "Is there
00:09:42
anything I can help with you?" He goes,
00:09:43
"Nope."
00:09:45
>> I go, "Can I help with something?" He
00:09:46
goes, "You can't do."
00:09:47
>> What were you on the Who are you on the
00:09:49
phone with? Who are you on the phone
00:09:50
with? Hot shot. You're being a hot shot.
00:09:52
Who are you on the phone with? Hot shot.
00:09:53
You don't want to say.
00:09:54
>> Yeah, it's a business. It's a secret
00:09:56
business thing, but he goes,
00:09:57
>> "It's something I can talk to you
00:09:59
about."
00:10:00
>> And I'm like, "Okay."
00:10:01
>> All right. So, I guess I got nothing.
00:10:05
>> You explain.
00:10:05
>> Is Yeah, I got nothing.
00:10:08
>> I told you you're not going to do it.
00:10:10
>> You can.
00:10:11
>> That's true. But still ask.
00:10:13
>> But still, he wants to know.
00:10:14
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Still ask.
00:10:16
>> Dude, my hands are cramping up so bad.
00:10:17
>> Drink some drink that other water.
00:10:19
>> Like everything's cramping up, dude.
00:10:21
What do they do to you at the eye
00:10:22
doctor?
00:10:22
>> No, I haven't been drinking water all
00:10:24
day.
00:10:24
>> We got to have some water.
00:10:25
>> Okay, I'll tell you why I'm in a bad
00:10:26
mood.
00:10:28
>> Ow.
00:10:30
I swear to God. I swear to God. I am
00:10:32
cramping up everything.
00:10:33
>> How do you solve hand cramps? Here we
00:10:34
go. Gently stretch. Get some electrodes.
00:10:36
Massage the affected area. Uh mone, will
00:10:38
you come massage his hands, please?
00:10:40
>> No, I'm being real, dude. Everything is
00:10:41
cramping.
00:10:42
>> Do we have those heat things you put
00:10:43
your hand in? Do we have that hand heat
00:10:44
thing again? Where's the hand massager?
00:10:46
Didn't we buy one of those?
00:10:47
>> I think I'm fine. I'm fine. You don't
00:10:49
you don't have to shake it
00:10:50
>> or massage it. So today, just now before
00:10:53
I got here, I'm gonna tell you what
00:10:54
restaurant, but I was sitting at a
00:10:56
restaurant, right? And there was a girl
00:10:58
and three guys sitting at a table right
00:10:59
next to mine.
00:11:00
>> Okay.
00:11:00
>> Do you imagine?
00:11:01
>> I've seen that movie.
00:11:02
>> Okay. The whole table goes high. We're
00:11:05
big fans.
00:11:06
>> Yeah.
00:11:06
>> Right. And the girl goes, "Yeah, I'm a
00:11:08
big fan. I have bad friends this." I go,
00:11:09
"That's fine." I go I go, "But one of
00:11:11
these guys your boyfriends?" And she
00:11:13
goes, "No, no, no. They're just friends
00:11:14
of mine." I go, "Uh oh." I go, "What are
00:11:16
you looking for in a guy?" And she goes,
00:11:18
"Not Asian."
00:11:20
>> Wow. Did they laugh?
00:11:21
>> I WASN'T EVEN HITTING ON HER, DUDE.
00:11:23
>> WELL, if you say to a girl, "What are
00:11:25
you looking for?" Okay,
00:11:27
>> I just
00:11:28
>> Time out. You said, "Do you have a
00:11:29
boyfriend?"
00:11:30
>> Cramping the [ __ ] up, guy.
00:11:32
>> That she got me all cramped up, guy.
00:11:33
>> Do you have a boyfriend? I don't. What
00:11:35
are you looking for in a guy? It seems
00:11:37
like you're maybe saying, "Are you
00:11:38
interested in I?"
00:11:39
>> No, because they First of all,
00:11:41
>> he was just being
00:11:43
>> Oh, you're an What's ank?
00:11:46
You're a king.
00:11:48
>> What is uncle?
00:11:49
>> Unk is like what the kids the kids call
00:11:51
us.
00:11:52
>> Like uncle.
00:11:52
>> Yeah. I was I was being polite.
00:11:54
>> Yeah.
00:11:55
>> Right. I go, "Oh, are any of these guys
00:11:58
your boyfriend?" Which is And they're
00:12:00
like, "No, we're just They were like,
00:12:01
"We're just friends."
00:12:02
>> But that is an encline. Like ank says
00:12:03
something like, "Uh, man, that is a
00:12:05
that's a short skirt for a day like
00:12:06
today." That's an encline.
00:12:09
>> Oh, really?
00:12:09
>> It's an encline.
00:12:10
>> All right. So, I did. That was an enk.
00:12:12
>> Youked it.
00:12:12
>> Yeah. But could she say something? Oh my
00:12:14
god. Could she say something different?
00:12:16
>> Okay, I'll be the girl. Ready? Yeah. Go
00:12:17
ahead.
00:12:17
>> I go, um, you have to approach me first.
00:12:20
I'm eating.
00:12:21
>> Hey, we're huge fans. I just want to
00:12:23
tell you we're huge fans.
00:12:24
>> Thank you.
00:12:24
>> Yeah.
00:12:25
>> Oh. Um, are these
00:12:28
When are you these guys your boyfriend?
00:12:30
>> No, these are all my friends. We're just
00:12:31
friends.
00:12:32
>> Oh, cool. Oh, so you're single?
00:12:34
>> I am.
00:12:34
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What kind of guys are
00:12:36
you looking for?
00:12:38
>> Tall guys.
00:12:40
>> Oh, cool. Much better.
00:12:42
>> Tall guys. guys who you know guys who
00:12:45
are like Mayflower material.
00:12:47
>> What do you mean by that? Like who can
00:12:48
build a ship?
00:12:49
>> People who came over on one of his first
00:12:51
couple boats.
00:12:53
>> Oh,
00:12:55
I see. I see.
00:12:56
>> Yeah. People
00:12:56
>> like Amastad.
00:12:58
>> People who own people like you.
00:12:59
>> Oh, not Amastad.
00:13:01
>> No. No. Opposite.
00:13:03
>> Opposite of Amastad.
00:13:04
>> People who own those boats.
00:13:05
>> Oh, the people that own the boats.
00:13:07
>> Those are the guys I own.
00:13:07
>> Oh, okay.
00:13:08
>> Yeah. Do you own a boat?
00:13:09
>> Uh, a yacht.
00:13:11
>> You own a yacht? Yeah. How big?
00:13:13
>> Pretty [ __ ] big.
00:13:14
>> How many feet?
00:13:14
>> Have you heard of haunt virus?
00:13:16
>> Is that you?
00:13:16
>> That's my yacht.
00:13:18
>> You guys are at it again.
00:13:20
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:13:22
>> By the way, don't get me started cuz
00:13:23
I've You're the fourth person today
00:13:25
who's talked about it.
00:13:27
>> Freaking out about it.
00:13:28
>> I'm going to tell you about it.
00:13:30
>> Don't do a conspira. It's not
00:13:31
>> It's a con. I'm going to tell you about
00:13:33
it.
00:13:34
>> Bring it up.
00:13:34
>> No, you don't have to even bring it up.
00:13:36
Don't bring it up. I will tell you about
00:13:38
it. Ask me.
00:13:39
>> Don't bring it up. He's going to bring
00:13:40
it up.
00:13:41
>> Yeah. Ask me. Okay. Is the haunt virus
00:13:43
going to be the next uh plague, viral
00:13:45
plague?
00:13:46
>> Nope.
00:13:47
>> Why is that?
00:13:48
>> Because uh
00:13:48
>> because we've gotten all of the bad food
00:13:50
out of the way.
00:13:52
>> No. No.
00:13:52
>> He's going to take respect.
00:13:53
>> I'll tell I'll tell you why. Okay. Um
00:13:55
there's different strains of this virus.
00:13:58
>> Just like CO.
00:13:58
>> Just like CO,
00:14:00
>> but most of the Don't look it up, man.
00:14:02
>> Don't look it up.
00:14:02
>> Don't look it up, guy. Most of the
00:14:04
strains you get are it from rats.
00:14:06
>> So if I No, I'm being real. So if I'm in
00:14:09
Brazil, I'm just an arbitrary country.
00:14:12
>> Seemed pretty pointed.
00:14:13
>> I was gonna say Argentina, but I went
00:14:15
Brazil. Sure.
00:14:16
>> I'm in Colombia. Right.
00:14:20
>> Right.
00:14:20
>> It's all
00:14:23
in the same area. I'm in Peru now.
00:14:25
Listen.
00:14:28
>> He's just naming South America.
00:14:30
>> Yeah. Yeah. All right. So I'm in Peru,
00:14:32
okay?
00:14:34
>> And I'm You mean I'm mopping, right?
00:14:37
always mopping
00:14:37
>> a hallway
00:14:38
>> or an alleyway. There happens to be rat
00:14:41
[ __ ] and rat piss
00:14:43
>> or right this the particles go up by the
00:14:46
air. I sniff it. You can get it mostly
00:14:48
that way.
00:14:48
>> That's how they get it from huffing rat
00:14:50
poop particles.
00:14:51
>> Now there's one called the andis strain
00:14:55
which is the one that's on the cruise
00:14:56
ship which is human to human.
00:14:59
>> So this is like if you had it and you
00:15:00
were kissing a girl she gets it.
00:15:02
>> But see the odds of getting it
00:15:04
>> smelling the poop.
00:15:07
You want to leave that bit in?
00:15:09
>> Yeah. Keep that bit in.
00:15:10
>> Keep that in.
00:15:11
>> Yeah. Yeah. Cuz sometimes we need anti-
00:15:13
comedy
00:15:13
>> when he bombs.
00:15:14
>> Yeah. Yeah. Cuz it makes us funnier.
00:15:16
>> It's perfect.
00:15:16
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:15:17
>> So anyway, the um
00:15:19
>> loser
00:15:19
>> loser. You're a [ __ ] loser. But
00:15:21
anyway,
00:15:21
>> unbutton another button.
00:15:22
>> Unbutton another.
00:15:23
>> So it's so human to human.
00:15:25
>> Human to human. And even in that it's
00:15:27
very difficult to get apparently.
00:15:28
>> Really?
00:15:29
>> Yes.
00:15:29
>> Wow.
00:15:30
>> Because the couple that got it on the
00:15:31
cruise were sleeping together on the
00:15:33
same bed.
00:15:34
>> Well, they were husband and wife, right?
00:15:35
Yeah. Yeah. That makes sense. Yeah. So,
00:15:36
so that makes sense, right? The only
00:15:39
scary part is this.
00:15:42
>> Who got it first, by the way?
00:15:43
>> Did the guy or the girl get it? And they
00:15:45
got it from a rat on the boat.
00:15:47
>> No, they got it from bird watching in
00:15:50
Argentina.
00:15:50
>> I've said it once. I'll say it again.
00:15:52
Stop watching birds.
00:15:53
>> Stop watching them.
00:15:54
>> They don't need to be watching.
00:15:55
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They need to be
00:15:56
perceived. You have to perceive them.
00:15:58
perceive a bird is fine because if a
00:15:59
hawk is going to come and attack your
00:16:00
eyes perception and I don't have the
00:16:02
eyes to even witness the hawk
00:16:04
>> until you get the glasses
00:16:05
>> right until I get the glasses right so
00:16:07
don't poke up my eyes hawk correct
00:16:09
>> right so my point is is that um they
00:16:12
were out you know you know these there's
00:16:14
different kinds of cruises
00:16:15
>> I had an image of you between the time
00:16:18
when you leave and you're getting your
00:16:19
glasses and you don't have hawks just
00:16:22
smashing you in the eyes
00:16:23
>> I NEED GLASSES
00:16:25
yeah
00:16:26
>> there different kinds of cruises
00:16:28
Yeah. So when I this kind of crew like I
00:16:30
did a cruise with the Adam Divine folk,
00:16:33
>> right?
00:16:33
>> Right. That's max go back.
00:16:35
>> Ah,
00:16:36
>> right. But there's certain cruises,
00:16:37
adventurism cruises. White cruises.
00:16:40
>> White people cruises.
00:16:41
>> Yeah. Yeah. White people cruises. Like I
00:16:42
need to get go to go to the top of that
00:16:44
mountain.
00:16:44
>> Right. You know what I mean? I need to
00:16:46
see the the top of that Mayan temple.
00:16:48
>> I must get to Kilamanjaro.
00:16:49
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The
00:16:51
explorers. I'll go deeper into the cave.
00:16:53
You know the ones that go in the
00:16:54
crevices.
00:16:54
>> Why are you in there?
00:16:55
>> Yeah. What are you doing in there?
00:16:56
>> What's in there? Nothing's in there.
00:16:57
There's nothing. And they get stuck.
00:16:58
They're like, "I can't move." I GO, "CUZ
00:17:00
BLACK PEOPLE DON'T DO THAT.
00:17:03
They don't even go. We don't go to caves
00:17:05
like that.
00:17:05
>> You've never heard a black guy get stuck
00:17:07
in spelunking in a cave?"
00:17:08
>> No. No. You There are like [ __ ] caves
00:17:11
in Asia, Vietnam, and whatnot that white
00:17:14
people discovered before the Asians did.
00:17:16
>> Yeah. We didn't know that was there.
00:17:17
>> I'm sure the Vietnamese knew that it was
00:17:19
there. They're like, "We're not going
00:17:20
near it."
00:17:20
>> No way.
00:17:21
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:17:21
>> White people love spelunking.
00:17:23
>> They love spelunking. So, this is white
00:17:25
people's fault.
00:17:26
>> This is
00:17:26
>> Yeah. So they went on an adventure. They
00:17:29
caught it. You know what I mean? They
00:17:31
brought it back on the um cruise and um
00:17:34
I think it's but the scary part is
00:17:37
somebody that was flying to South
00:17:39
Africa,
00:17:41
right? Who died
00:17:42
>> brought it
00:17:43
>> brought it to South but died but the
00:17:46
stewardist. Is that what you call them
00:17:47
now? No. A flight attendant. A flight
00:17:50
attendant got it.
00:17:51
>> Oh no.
00:17:52
>> You know what I mean? So that's a little
00:17:53
weird. Well, cuz airplanes are the one.
00:17:55
That's the one where I'm like, you're in
00:17:57
a contained space and they're like, the
00:17:58
hepailters are really good. You're like,
00:18:00
not when the guy next to me is GOING
00:18:04
>> cuz I've sat next to that guy many
00:18:06
flights.
00:18:06
>> Oh, dude. I have a rule and I I I have a
00:18:09
message to everyone listening.
00:18:11
If you're super have a cold and you're
00:18:14
super sick, don't get on a plane and
00:18:16
don't go and don't go to work.
00:18:17
>> Don't get on don't you don't need to go
00:18:18
to work. If I say food industry,
00:18:21
>> I've had waiters, you know what I mean?
00:18:23
Super sick.
00:18:25
>> Like, fries.
00:18:26
>> Your fries. Super sick. It's like, what
00:18:29
are you doing at work, dude?
00:18:30
>> Take a day down.
00:18:31
>> Yeah. Not I understand the economy.
00:18:33
>> People need to work.
00:18:34
>> They need to work. I understand. And I'm
00:18:36
for that.
00:18:36
>> I'm going to I'm going to be the
00:18:37
opposite. I'm devil's advocate. I think
00:18:39
everyone should go to work as sick as
00:18:40
they POSSIBLY ARE.
00:18:42
>> YOU [ __ ] [ __ ]
00:18:43
>> You know who does it every day? Who?
00:18:44
>> Fancy.
00:18:45
>> That's right.
00:18:46
>> Has never not come to work. Don't take a
00:18:48
day off. You're sick now.
00:18:49
>> But we go on the road, we get it from
00:18:51
him and then all of a sudden we're in
00:18:52
Denver Saturday night. All sick.
00:18:54
>> Yeah. And we're all sick. And it's your
00:18:55
[ __ ] fault. And
00:18:56
>> you've got everyone in this room sick
00:18:58
multiple time.
00:18:59
>> You're a [ __ ] [ __ ] dude.
00:19:00
>> You're a carrier.
00:19:01
>> I edited this show with like 110 fever.
00:19:05
>> Okay.
00:19:06
>> But I bet you money if I get the haunt
00:19:09
virus. H virus. You gave it to me.
00:19:12
>> You did. It's got a 30 to 40% mortality
00:19:15
rate. What? And there's a 21 to 40 day
00:19:21
incubation period.
00:19:23
>> So you don't even know.
00:19:24
>> But here's the good news.
00:19:26
>> You don't know for a month.
00:19:27
>> Here's the good news. You want to hear
00:19:29
the good news?
00:19:29
>> Please.
00:19:30
>> Even if you have it and I I have it, but
00:19:33
it's it's it's not like I'm u it's
00:19:35
incubating.
00:19:36
>> Mhm.
00:19:37
>> You're not going to catch it for me
00:19:38
until I have symptoms.
00:19:40
>> Ah.
00:19:41
>> Right. So it's like if I'm if I have H.
00:19:43
Ha. I don't know how you call it. And I
00:19:45
sneeze.
00:19:46
>> What does it prefer to be called?
00:19:47
>> Yeah. You Spanish [ __ ]
00:19:49
>> H.
00:19:50
>> H.
00:19:51
>> Sounds like a good car company out of
00:19:52
Japan.
00:19:53
>> Yeah.
00:19:53
>> Hunter.
00:19:54
>> Hunter virus.
00:19:55
>> H.
00:19:55
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:19:57
>> Yeah. So
00:19:58
>> the all new Hunter.
00:20:00
>> So if I had it and I was showing
00:20:03
symptoms and I sneezed in front of you,
00:20:05
>> then
00:20:06
>> then Yeah. But
00:20:07
>> bring that back up though. That says the
00:20:08
rattia cities. I didn't say that.
00:20:11
>> No, but look, most ratinfested cities
00:20:12
are LA, Chicago, Paris, New York,
00:20:14
London, and Dishnoke, India. Known for
00:20:17
its Karim, Manta Temple, famously home
00:20:19
to thousands of rats. Considered holy.
00:20:21
Oh, holy rats don't get it though.
00:20:23
>> Yeah. So, did I get the facts correct
00:20:26
about the hent virus?
00:20:28
>> Y
00:20:28
>> Yeah, you did. And can I say this? This
00:20:30
is a temple dedicated to rats.
00:20:32
>> That's crazy.
00:20:33
>> Wow.
00:20:33
>> Just don't go there, white people.
00:20:35
>> Yeah, don't go. Well, that's it's in
00:20:36
India.
00:20:37
>> I know. But they go they do the cruise.
00:20:39
We got to go to that temple.
00:20:40
>> Gotta go.
00:20:41
>> Yeah. You But not you.
00:20:42
>> I would never.
00:20:43
>> No. No. No. You're You're more
00:20:45
>> I'm a landlocked guy.
00:20:46
>> No. You're more ethnic when it comes to
00:20:48
decision- making. Thank you.
00:20:49
>> Yeah. You're not You're Yeah. You're not
00:20:51
going to bungee jump. Nope.
00:20:52
>> Have you bungee jumped?
00:20:53
>> Never. I would skydive or anything. I'm
00:20:56
way more ethnic when it comes to white
00:20:58
mountain biking.
00:20:59
>> Yeah. Mountain biking.
00:21:00
>> Why am I on a bicycle on a
00:21:01
>> mountain? No. Flat land.
00:21:02
>> Flat. Flat on flat. Me bike on flat.
00:21:05
>> Yeah. Yeah. I do VR biking.
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>> You heard him. That's
00:24:59
rocketmoney.com/badfriends.
00:25:01
rocketmoney.com/badfriends.
00:25:03
>> My point though being is I don't think
00:25:05
the hent virus is that scary yet. But
00:25:10
>> here's the thing that we need need to be
00:25:12
careful of.
00:25:13
>> All viruses
00:25:15
they want to survive.
00:25:16
>> They're looking for a host,
00:25:18
>> right? And the in order to survive they
00:25:20
mutate.
00:25:21
>> Oh [ __ ]
00:25:22
>> Right. And co has mutated many times.
00:25:25
thousands and thousands of times.
00:25:27
>> This thing's is a better mutator.
00:25:29
>> Yeah. I don't know. We don't know yet.
00:25:31
That's why you know who is getting
00:25:32
upfront.
00:25:34
>> You know what I mean? The World Health
00:25:35
Organization,
00:25:36
>> WHO.
00:25:37
>> Yeah. They're getting upfront on the
00:25:38
messaging.
00:25:39
>> By the way, this does say kidney failure
00:25:40
can happen within 4 to 10 days after
00:25:42
symptoms. You can just lose your kidney.
00:25:44
>> Yeah, it's bad. This one is bad. And you
00:25:46
know what's going to happen is
00:25:47
>> people are going to die.
00:25:48
>> No, because of if this becomes like CO,
00:25:51
what's going to happen is they tricked
00:25:53
us last time.
00:25:54
>> Yeah. Are they're not going to do it
00:25:55
again?
00:25:55
>> Yeah, they're not going to do it again.
00:25:56
I'm going to the [ __ ] country music
00:25:58
festival.
00:25:59
>> I'm going to go.
00:25:59
>> Right. Not that it could be Coachella.
00:26:02
>> Come get you a rat.
00:26:03
>> I don't want to be regional about
00:26:04
>> Come get a rat on you mean
00:26:06
>> get a rat on a stick.
00:26:07
>> Yeah. Yeah. And then all of a sudden
00:26:09
it's like the mortality rate's worse and
00:26:12
it's going to get bad.
00:26:13
>> I think we're good. Knock on knock on
00:26:14
>> I think we're good. I think we're good
00:26:16
>> because I
00:26:16
>> I mean we're going to go into a
00:26:18
recession.
00:26:18
>> God bless.
00:26:19
>> Yeah. And and the economy is [ __ ]
00:26:21
>> Let's go. No,
00:26:23
>> we got to go into a recession.
00:26:24
>> Why?
00:26:25
>> Because they have to go down to go back
00:26:26
up. That's the only way it works. If we
00:26:28
don't do a recession, it's then we go
00:26:29
into depression.
00:26:31
>> Ah,
00:26:31
>> we must recede before we proceed.
00:26:33
>> Oh, like a wave.
00:26:34
>> We must hit the wave.
00:26:35
>> Oh, I see.
00:26:35
>> As of May, the US economy is not in a
00:26:37
current recession. Faces significant
00:26:39
material headwinds and mixed signals.
00:26:41
Some analysts foresee a 40 50%
00:26:43
probability of downturn due to high
00:26:45
interest rates. It is,
00:26:46
>> but there's an AI bubble that could pop.
00:26:49
You know what I mean? And if that
00:26:50
happens, You know what I mean? Then you
00:26:54
know
00:26:54
>> I don't want
00:26:55
>> what
00:26:55
>> it just scared.
00:26:56
>> It's like
00:26:58
>> who knows what's
00:26:58
>> Who knows what's happening.
00:26:59
>> Are you feeling better? He said he was
00:27:01
feeling better earlier.
00:27:02
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:27:02
>> The head feels good. It looks good.
00:27:04
>> Thank you.
00:27:04
>> Your head feels good.
00:27:05
>> Yeah. It just hurts in the back a little
00:27:06
bit.
00:27:06
>> You know, I can't see a It's got I mean
00:27:09
from afar when I look closer I see
00:27:11
little redness.
00:27:12
>> Yeah.
00:27:12
>> From afar it looks normal.
00:27:14
>> Yeah. I mean it'll
00:27:16
>> dude how funny if he turns into like a
00:27:17
male model when this is over.
00:27:19
>> Oh, that'd be awesome. If we shift him
00:27:20
into modeling now in his
00:27:21
>> He is handsome.
00:27:22
>> He is. The kid's handsome.
00:27:23
>> Yeah. Yeah. You do stink
00:27:25
>> because I'm always busy and
00:27:27
>> No, I know. Can I just say something
00:27:28
about I You're handsome and you have a
00:27:31
cool vibe.
00:27:32
>> Thanks, bro.
00:27:32
>> You know what I mean?
00:27:33
>> Setup. Set up. Set up.
00:27:34
>> Oh, yeah.
00:27:34
>> Here it is.
00:27:35
>> Anything before the butt doesn't count.
00:27:37
>> The butt's my favorite.
00:27:38
>> Why can't I be honest?
00:27:39
>> Yeah. No, you're No, we like it. Be
00:27:42
honest.
00:27:42
>> Yeah, you smell always good.
00:27:45
>> Ditto. By the way, I smell
00:27:48
>> I know. I smelled a girl last night at
00:27:50
the [ __ ] restaurant and I was like,
00:27:52
"God, what is that? That smells
00:27:54
incredible." She sat next to us and my
00:27:56
wife was like, "That's that's Bobby's
00:27:59
cologne."
00:28:00
>> Yeah.
00:28:00
>> I smelled you on someone else.
00:28:02
>> Yeah.
00:28:03
>> And it made me get
00:28:04
>> I ran up to her. I did an Asian accent
00:28:06
to her.
00:28:07
>> I missed you so much.
00:28:09
>> She because you wear a lot of unisex.
00:28:11
>> You some sweet. You know what I mean?
00:28:13
Woody sweet, you know what I mean? But I
00:28:14
go
00:28:15
>> She had your cologne on or your perfume.
00:28:17
>> My perfume. Yeah. Why do you think he So
00:28:18
you think he smells
00:28:19
>> at times your breath?
00:28:23
>> You know what I mean?
00:28:24
>> What I use?
00:28:26
>> Yeah.
00:28:27
>> Malon and goats rum.
00:28:28
>> Yeah.
00:28:29
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:28:29
>> I don't know if Don't put goat in.
00:28:30
>> It's too goat. It's too goat.
00:28:32
>> Goat. More.
00:28:33
>> Yeah. Do more. Yeah.
00:28:34
>> Founders are gay.
00:28:36
>> Less goat. More.
00:28:38
>> Less goat. Yeah. In fact, how about
00:28:39
this? Only Mullen.
00:28:42
>> For a smell good set to have goat in it
00:28:44
is crazy.
00:28:44
>> It is crazy, dude.
00:28:45
>> Is there a little bit of sheep in there,
00:28:47
too? I mean,
00:28:48
>> I'm using Marcus and farts right now.
00:28:54
>> More Marcus.
00:28:54
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. More.
00:28:55
>> Wait, that is that your That's your
00:28:57
That's your go-to.
00:28:57
>> That's your scent. I use this.
00:28:58
>> Yeah. What is that one?
00:28:59
>> What is that?
00:29:00
>> Tom Ford.
00:29:01
>> Tom Ford. Yeah. Um, do you use it?
00:29:04
>> Yes.
00:29:04
>> Okay. All right. Use
00:29:06
>> I come to work so stressed that I'm
00:29:08
>> This is what you need to do.
00:29:09
>> You do need to chill on the stress
00:29:11
thing.
00:29:11
>> Yeah. This is what you This is what I
00:29:12
do.
00:29:12
>> I can't take meds before I come here.
00:29:14
Why?
00:29:15
>> You see me raw. Uh,
00:29:17
>> Andrew will know if I'm high.
00:29:18
>> I will 100% know. Well, you have tricked
00:29:20
me a few times.
00:29:21
>> I just always forget to tell you the
00:29:23
truth.
00:29:24
>> Okay.
00:29:25
>> So, this is what you do. Okay. This is
00:29:27
what I do.
00:29:28
>> Yeah.
00:29:29
>> Spray on the wrist.
00:29:30
>> Always rub
00:29:31
>> and do a rub.
00:29:32
>> Must.
00:29:32
>> Right. I lift up my shirt under
00:29:35
>> one spray underneath.
00:29:36
>> Now, do you do skin or do you do shirt?
00:29:38
>> It's I I I spray upwards and it gets
00:29:41
both.
00:29:42
>> It gets all the way up.
00:29:42
>> Yeah, it gets all the way up. I record
00:29:44
myself doing it to prove it.
00:29:45
>> Okay. And then this is another one I do.
00:29:48
And this is a little gross,
00:29:49
>> but I lift the sack and it hit the
00:29:52
taint.
00:29:52
>> How's that gross? That's per That's
00:29:53
exactly where it's supposed to go.
00:29:54
>> That's where exactly where it's supposed
00:29:55
to go. That's where it's supposed to go.
00:29:56
Right. Because if you know what I mean,
00:29:57
they don't want you you don't want them
00:29:59
to taste it.
00:29:59
>> No.
00:30:00
>> Right. But that you want them to smell
00:30:01
it.
00:30:02
>> Yeah.
00:30:02
>> Right. Right.
00:30:03
>> They want the aura, right?
00:30:04
>> The aura.
00:30:05
>> Yeah. And then um wait, I've got to
00:30:11
>> One on the neck.
00:30:12
>> One on the neck. That was zesty that
00:30:13
last one.
00:30:14
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:30:15
>> And that's it.
00:30:15
>> That's it.
00:30:16
>> What do you do?
00:30:17
>> I do this.
00:30:19
>> Two sprays
00:30:20
>> and that's it.
00:30:20
>> Yeah, that's it.
00:30:21
>> No. No.
00:30:22
>> But that's what I because I don't you
00:30:24
now.
00:30:25
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:30:26
>> I don't want to smell too cra maybe I
00:30:28
should.
00:30:28
>> Spray some in your mouth too because
00:30:29
that thing What the What are you a
00:30:31
dragon?
00:30:33
>> LIKE WHAT ARE you trying to burn down?
00:30:34
>> It's I USE THE NATURAL ONE.
00:30:36
>> I MEAN IT'S SO SMELLY.
00:30:37
>> It's the natural one from Air1 and I
00:30:39
don't
00:30:39
>> YEAH. YEAH. YEAH. YEAH. DO MORE. I don't
00:30:41
eat. I I'll give you the money. What do
00:30:43
you think?
00:30:43
>> Please eat food.
00:30:44
>> You're not eating. Mone has commented
00:30:47
multiple times. Sometimes you'll skip an
00:30:48
entire day of meal.
00:30:49
>> Smells like a vegetarian.
00:30:51
>> I skip city.
00:30:52
>> Don't do that.
00:30:53
>> This is another thing he does on the
00:30:55
road. I didn't eat.
00:30:56
>> Yeah, we haven't eaten all day. You
00:30:57
know, I'll have um four lettucees, one
00:31:00
crouton, and half a shrimp. It's like
00:31:02
order a steak,
00:31:03
>> have a meal.
00:31:04
>> But you said I'm handsome earlier. It's
00:31:05
like that's why like
00:31:07
>> that has nothing to do with the food.
00:31:08
You need to eat for nutrition. Yeah,
00:31:10
it's [ __ ] up your breath.
00:31:13
>> Your body's going to kill you.
00:31:14
>> Yeah, but you can just have smoothies,
00:31:15
too.
00:31:16
>> No, you can't just eat smoothies.
00:31:18
Smoothies. I've been eating uh avocado
00:31:21
toast and smoothies for a whole year and
00:31:23
nothing else.
00:31:23
>> Oh my god.
00:31:24
>> Oh, congratulations.
00:31:25
>> Thank you.
00:31:26
>> And nuggets. You look like [ __ ]
00:31:27
>> Give me the guy. Give me Yeah. And then
00:31:29
McDonald's.
00:31:30
>> Give me the guy that's that does the
00:31:31
cologne tutorials. He does like on on
00:31:33
YouTube. He sprays like he says like a
00:31:34
hundred sprays. That's what he does.
00:31:36
>> Yeah, that's good.
00:31:37
>> They do a 100 sprays.
00:31:38
>> I'd rather have that than whatever he
00:31:39
has. This dragon,
00:31:41
>> this guy.
00:31:42
Here's cologne the right way. Let's see
00:31:44
how cologne Let's see how it's applied
00:31:46
the correct way.
00:31:47
>> How to put on
00:31:49
>> how to put on cologne
00:31:50
>> cuz I don't I mean I guess I don't know
00:31:52
how.
00:31:52
>> All right, here we go. Cuz this guy will
00:31:55
teach us.
00:31:55
>> I already told you
00:31:57
>> the best time to apply your cologne.
00:31:58
>> All right, push pause. Push pause. First
00:32:00
of all,
00:32:00
>> I don't believe it.
00:32:02
>> No, HE'S
00:32:05
>> already turned the video off.
00:32:07
>> It's too much AI. That's why it's AI
00:32:09
>> because I'll like turn that off for a
00:32:12
second.
00:32:12
>> I'll take number two.
00:32:13
>> No, I don't believe. Okay.
00:32:15
>> Sports.
00:32:16
>> Yes. Yesterday morning.
00:32:18
>> Yeah.
00:32:18
>> Mookie Bets.
00:32:19
>> Yeah. Mookie bets
00:32:20
>> and Cam.
00:32:20
>> Yeah. Cam the best.
00:32:21
>> Right. They both smelled
00:32:23
>> unreal.
00:32:24
>> Unreal.
00:32:24
>> So good.
00:32:25
>> Like when you smell Mookie Bets,
00:32:26
>> it's cuz they're famous.
00:32:27
>> No, that's not it, dude. Right. They
00:32:30
just
00:32:31
>> intuitively know where to spray. They do
00:32:34
>> what to spray. They do
00:32:35
>> how to spray. They intuitively know to
00:32:38
put some sort of mint in the mouth.
00:32:40
>> Yep.
00:32:41
>> Not to offend the human beings around
00:32:44
them.
00:32:44
>> I brought that to
00:32:45
>> Right. So,
00:32:46
>> so what I'm say I'm I'm not done
00:32:48
talking.
00:32:48
>> Well, I'm just saying for
00:32:49
>> Yeah. Yeah. So, it's like, you know, so
00:32:51
that they're not intrusive,
00:32:53
>> right?
00:32:54
>> You know what I mean? Like I don't want
00:32:55
an eyebrow burned off, right? Cuz you're
00:32:57
telling me something.
00:32:59
>> You know what I mean? Do you understand
00:33:00
what I'm saying? Like I want you I don't
00:33:03
want to get tan,
00:33:05
you know? I don't want to get an Insta
00:33:06
tan when you're talking to me ON
00:33:12
your breath stinks, dude. You're [ __ ]
00:33:15
terrible,
00:33:16
>> right? Yeah. Yeah. No, you need to tell
00:33:17
your fake pills or DUDE ON ONE.
00:33:20
>> EVERY TIME I'M WITH YOU ON GO HOME. I
00:33:23
LOOK FILIPINO
00:33:25
>> BECAUSE YOUR BREATH IS SO LIKE A DRAGON.
00:33:27
>> He's had time with you. He talked to you
00:33:29
the other day and then he turned to me
00:33:30
and he got breath burn. His whole face
00:33:32
has breath.
00:33:33
>> That's what I'm saying.
00:33:34
>> DUDE, I'M NOT EATING. HEY, LOOK AT THE
00:33:36
KIND OF VAPE HE'S VAPING. I'm not
00:33:38
eating.
00:33:38
>> Yeah. Yeah, I know. It's terrible.
00:33:40
>> What's in there? Rats. What's in there?
00:33:41
>> Yeah.
00:33:42
>> Tobacco.
00:33:43
>> Oh god. I'm sorry.
00:33:44
>> I love you.
00:33:45
>> Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
00:33:46
>> It's the price I pay.
00:33:47
>> It's the price you pay. But please,
00:33:48
we're going on the road Thursday
00:33:50
morning.
00:33:51
>> Yeah.
00:33:51
>> Right. If you are going to eat,
00:33:53
>> if you need Listerine packets,
00:33:55
>> that's what I brought
00:33:56
>> or mints or gum or whatever you want.
00:33:58
I'll give you thousands of dollars cuz
00:34:00
that's what's what it's going to take
00:34:01
>> cuz I use the natural stuff. It doesn't
00:34:03
work.
00:34:03
>> It doesn't matter. And also on top of
00:34:05
it, do the cologne routine and then we
00:34:07
won't have a [ __ ] problem.
00:34:08
>> BUT I'VE GOT A homeless man as my tour
00:34:10
manager.
00:34:10
>> I'll record it.
00:34:11
>> Yeah, I'LL RECORD MY WHAT THE [ __ ] IS
00:34:14
GOING ON?
00:34:14
>> ALL RIGHT, CALM DOWN. YOU'RE ON.
00:34:16
>> All the stage hands are like, "Is he
00:34:17
homeless?" I go, "No, he's not homeless.
00:34:19
HE'S A REAL HE LIVES IN THE HOUSE."
00:34:21
>> You're
00:34:22
>> I'm sorry. I
00:34:23
>> That's been pinned up for years.
00:34:25
>> Yeah.
00:34:25
>> It's How do you say that?
00:34:27
>> It's not. You say it over.
00:34:27
>> How do you say that to
00:34:31
>> How do you say that to somebody? You
00:34:32
know what I mean? You just did.
00:34:33
>> No, no. When you're You know what I
00:34:35
mean? Cuz you haven't I've never seen
00:34:36
you publicly acknowledge his breath.
00:34:38
>> What do you in your mind think?
00:34:40
>> I write about it. I have a blog. I write
00:34:41
about
00:34:42
>> You do morning pages,
00:34:46
the artist way.
00:34:48
>> I have a Substack on it. You guys got to
00:34:50
read it.
00:34:50
>> Yeah. Yeah. You got to read it.
00:34:51
>> Go to morning breath.com/anderantino.
00:35:01
>> All right. Well, any retorts then for
00:35:02
Bob then? Do you have a retort or do you
00:35:03
have
00:35:03
>> No, Bobby usually smells good and he's a
00:35:05
good boss and uh respect is at a
00:35:08
maximum.
00:35:09
>> Oh, smart dude. He's about to get some
00:35:11
checks on the road.
00:35:12
>> Yeah, very smart. Excited. You're really
00:35:14
good.
00:35:14
>> Sold out San Antonio. It's great.
00:35:16
>> Of course. Of course.
00:35:17
>> Yeah. Houston's getting there. And also
00:35:19
Dallas is there already.
00:35:20
>> Doing well. Toronto.
00:35:22
>> Good job from Texas. You're going to rip
00:35:23
up Texas to shreds.
00:35:24
>> Yeah. So, um what I'm saying is is that
00:35:26
you're also being Last thing I want to
00:35:28
say.
00:35:29
>> Oh, yeah.
00:35:30
>> You anything? Yeah. Last thing I want to
00:35:32
say I cuz I I feel like people think
00:35:33
that I complain
00:35:35
>> or I'm being vicious. You know what I
00:35:37
mean? I think you're overcompensating.
00:35:40
Let me say that again.
00:35:40
>> Hit it again.
00:35:41
>> You're overcompensating.
00:35:43
>> Overcompensating. Yeah.
00:35:44
>> Overcompensating.
00:35:45
>> Yeah. For what?
00:35:46
>> It's like cuz last time I said you're
00:35:48
not a good tour man manager, right? But
00:35:51
now you're being extra good where it's
00:35:53
kind of annoying.
00:35:54
>> Oh, you're going too far.
00:35:55
>> Yeah. Today. NO, NO, NO. THIS IS SO
00:35:58
TRUE. NO, NO, NO.
00:35:59
>> Would understand. So, so we we're fly we
00:36:01
fly out Thursday.
00:36:02
>> Yeah.
00:36:03
>> Right. To San Antonio in the morning,
00:36:04
right? We land at 3,
00:36:06
>> right?
00:36:06
>> Right. He's already today going, "What
00:36:09
kind of beef do you want?"
00:36:11
>> What is that? What do you mean?
00:36:12
>> Like he I have to pre-order
00:36:14
meat
00:36:15
>> for our barbecue place.
00:36:16
>> So they don't run out.
00:36:18
>> So that they don't run out?
00:36:19
>> What do you mean?
00:36:20
>> They're going to run They're going to
00:36:20
run out of meat by 3. So when we go at
00:36:22
7:30, they'll hold
00:36:24
>> Did they tell you that?
00:36:24
>> They're They run out of meat. We're at a
00:36:27
barbecue [ __ ] place. Yeah.
00:36:29
>> Excuse me. We'll order the corn,
00:36:32
>> right? And I guess THE CORNBREAD.
00:36:34
>> THERE'S NOTHING GOOD LEFT.
00:36:35
>> HOW DO THEY STEAL YOUR BUSINESS?
00:36:37
>> BECAUSE THEY'RE LIKE A MICHELIN STAR
00:36:39
PLACE.
00:36:40
>> THAT'S NORMAL, YOU
00:36:41
>> IDIOT.
00:36:41
>> THAT'S [ __ ] NORMAL.
00:36:42
>> GOD DAMN, DUDE.
00:36:43
>> YOU'RE JUST CALLING THE barbecue
00:36:45
[ __ ] a barbecue place.
00:36:46
>> Yeah. And they're all millionaires.
00:36:48
>> Yeah. Yeah. YEAH.
00:36:49
>> GOD, YOU'RE SO YOU KNOW, YOU DON'T
00:36:51
YOU'RE overating this.
00:36:53
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:36:54
>> I mean, let's be real. Let's be real for
00:36:56
once in your life. Go in the middle.
00:36:59
>> Maybe he's overcompensated.
00:37:01
>> Ah.
00:37:03
>> Wow. He's got me riled up, dude.
00:37:05
>> How about we do a hygiene uh bump then?
00:37:07
Financially, give him a hygiene bump.
00:37:10
>> Okay. I'm willing to do this. Okay.
00:37:11
>> We'll put aside a little bit of money
00:37:12
for hygiene.
00:37:12
>> I'm willing to do this. Okay.
00:37:14
>> Yeah. Thanks for the hair.
00:37:16
>> Yeah. I give him [ __ ] hair, dog.
00:37:18
>> That's not it. That's not what smells.
00:37:20
>> Oh, yeah. That it will.
00:37:24
>> You You think that's hair from the back
00:37:26
OF HIS HEAD?
00:37:28
NO, DUDE. HE'S NOT GOING TO [ __ ]
00:37:30
SACRIFICE THE back of his head. That's
00:37:32
[ __ ] [ __ ] hair, dude.
00:37:35
>> That's pube hair, dude.
00:37:36
>> I love it.
00:37:36
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:37:38
>> You know what?
00:37:38
>> Imagine that hair. He's going to have
00:37:40
dreadlocks.
00:37:42
>> He's going to have dingleberries up at
00:37:44
the front.
00:37:44
>> Yeah. Yeah. It's going to look bad,
00:37:45
dude.
00:37:46
>> It's going to look so good.
00:37:47
>> Yeah. Not only are you going to look
00:37:48
good,
00:37:49
>> I'm afraid we're going to lose you
00:37:51
>> to modeling.
00:37:52
>> I just think I think you're going to get
00:37:53
a full head of hair.
00:37:55
I think he's going to get a full head of
00:37:57
hair in a year and he's going to think
00:37:58
he's better than us. Do you not think
00:37:59
that's going to happen, Fancy? I think
00:38:00
he's going to be up his own ass. McCone
00:38:02
saying yes. I think you're going to be
00:38:04
Mr. Hot Shot
00:38:05
>> and Mr. Hot Shot's going to go, I'm
00:38:07
late. I don't want to come to the shoot
00:38:08
anymore. I'm doing my own thing.
00:38:10
>> I'm 90 minutes early every time. I'm a
00:38:12
killer.
00:38:12
>> I know, but you don't have any hair yet.
00:38:14
When the hair comes in, it might change
00:38:15
your perspective.
00:38:16
>> Okay,
00:38:16
>> that's interesting.
00:38:17
>> He's two inches taller than me.
00:38:20
>> One 11 one. We It's one or two inches
00:38:22
taller than me, right? with the hair
00:38:24
might be even.
00:38:24
>> Right.
00:38:25
>> Right. He has hunter body.
00:38:28
>> Hunter body.
00:38:29
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:38:30
>> Um the face is pretty good.
00:38:32
>> Face is very good.
00:38:33
>> Right.
00:38:33
>> The eyes are
00:38:34
>> even with hair eyes.
00:38:36
>> Nice car.
00:38:37
>> Nose mouth are very good. Right.
00:38:39
>> The women like the eyes and the face and
00:38:40
the nose.
00:38:41
>> Right. You're right. But also women
00:38:44
don't like medieval [ __ ]
00:38:45
>> They don't like no no no. They don't.
00:38:48
>> They don't like Yeah. You know what I
00:38:49
mean? They don't like, you know, fire
00:38:52
coming out of the mouth.
00:38:55
They don't like, "Is that an ogre?" And
00:38:58
with their senses, you know, their
00:38:59
smells, right? I mean, they don't like
00:39:01
medieval [ __ ]
00:39:02
>> right? They like
00:39:02
>> Yeah. Right. Right. Yeah. Am I under a
00:39:04
bridge?
00:39:05
>> Like, what is going on like a troll? You
00:39:06
know what I mean?
00:39:07
>> So, what I'm saying to you is that it I
00:39:10
think it'll You know what I mean?
00:39:11
>> Even off even out as an average guy.
00:39:14
>> Got it. I see it.
00:39:15
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Go ahead.
00:39:17
>> No, I have nothing.
00:39:17
>> Come at me.
00:39:18
>> I'm not trying to go at you. Come at me,
00:39:19
guy.
00:39:20
>> Bobby Hinchcliff.
00:39:21
>> I'm
00:39:21
>> It's Bobby.
00:39:22
>> Oh, wow.
00:39:24
>> Bobby.
00:39:25
>> Oh, no.
00:39:26
>> Oh, that's Dude, he's [ __ ] going to
00:39:28
piss me off, dude. This guy,
00:39:30
>> you're beginning to [ __ ] piss me off
00:39:31
right now, guys.
00:39:32
>> I love you.
00:39:34
>> I love you.
00:39:34
>> Yeah. First of all, I love you.
00:39:36
>> Yeah.
00:39:36
>> All right. So, I want to say this. I
00:39:38
It's not roasting.
00:39:39
>> That's not That's honest.
00:39:40
>> It's It's It's telling it how it is.
00:39:44
>> Right. Structurally, it's not a roast
00:39:46
joke. It's not as clever as a roast
00:39:48
joke. That's true.
00:39:49
>> Oh,
00:39:50
>> yeah. And and I and I I'm the one that
00:39:51
said it.
00:39:52
>> Yeah.
00:39:52
>> So, I admit it.
00:39:53
>> Okay.
00:39:53
>> Right. Still got laughs.
00:39:56
>> Yeah. Same with the roast the other
00:39:58
night on Netflix.
00:39:58
>> Right. So, when my point is is that it's
00:40:00
not a roast joke because I'm just being
00:40:02
honest.
00:40:03
>> Yeah.
00:40:03
>> Ogre troll dragon's breath. No. Look at
00:40:07
me right now, dude. No. I I I swear to
00:40:10
God on my mother's life
00:40:12
>> that those three things are true.
00:40:14
>> All right. So what my point is
00:40:16
>> Bob if I said one thing
00:40:17
>> as soon I'm talking I'm the host of the
00:40:19
show. Thank you.
00:40:20
>> I'm the yeah yeah yeah. Oh yeah.
00:40:22
>> Yeah.
00:40:23
>> Okay. So anyway, let me finish what I
00:40:24
want to say. Okay.
00:40:26
>> What?
00:40:27
>> Listen to what I have to say. Right.
00:40:30
>> Yeah. How how is that how is that
00:40:32
roasting when I'm just being honest?
00:40:34
>> Was not a roast. I didn't see a roast
00:40:35
come out of that. Exactly.
00:40:36
>> It was you dulging your
00:40:38
>> What are the three things I said
00:40:39
mythologically?
00:40:40
>> Under a bridge. Troll.
00:40:42
>> Yes.
00:40:42
>> Dragon's breath.
00:40:43
>> Yes. and ogre. Yes, exactly. Yeah. Now,
00:40:46
will you defy any of those three things?
00:40:49
>> There is no defiance. There's no
00:40:50
defiance.
00:40:51
>> They're truisms. Correct.
00:40:53
>> Truth. Truth.
00:40:53
>> Truth. Truth. You're a truther.
00:40:55
>> I'm a truther. Correct. Right. Always.
00:40:57
So, case closed. Case. Yeah. Thank you.
00:40:59
>> That's not how like court works. You
00:41:01
can't just
00:41:01
>> It is if you if you own the court, it
00:41:03
does work.
00:41:04
>> Yeah. And do you believe he just said,
00:41:06
"I'm the executive producer." Did you
00:41:07
hear that?
00:41:07
>> Is that what you said
00:41:08
>> to Bobby? Yeah. I've never even said
00:41:10
executive.
00:41:11
>> Are you an executive producer? I mean,
00:41:13
yeah, I guess I I
00:41:15
>> Let me ask you as a
00:41:18
>> Let me ask you. Yeah.
00:41:20
>> As a nonpartisan, right?
00:41:21
>> No. No. You're not partisan. You're my
00:41:23
best friend and we do this together. So,
00:41:24
I'm partisan.
00:41:24
>> We're on the poster.
00:41:25
>> Yeah. I'm very
00:41:26
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're We're the band.
00:41:28
We're the band. We're the band. Okay.
00:41:29
>> I'm on the tour.
00:41:30
>> All right. So, UM THIS GUY DO IT.
00:41:34
>> You make the poster. I take pictures.
00:41:37
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, let me ask
00:41:38
you as my business partner and as the
00:41:41
stars of the show,
00:41:42
>> correct? Okay. Um, is he executive
00:41:44
PRODUCER
00:41:49
>> SLASHBOOKER? Let me think.
00:41:50
>> Yeah, think about it.
00:41:52
>> H
00:41:53
>> Wait, Andrew, I can just be producer.
00:41:56
>> Oh, so you're you're you don't even want
00:41:58
the title. I was going to give to you,
00:41:59
but I guess no. So, just producer then?
00:42:00
>> Yeah.
00:42:01
>> Associate.
00:42:02
>> AP.
00:42:02
>> Not associate. No. No.
00:42:03
>> What's Mone then?
00:42:05
>> He's assistant.
00:42:06
>> He's exactly what Carlos is.
00:42:09
>> Carlos?
00:42:10
>> No way.
00:42:11
Blue. You guys, I'm 54 years old. I'm
00:42:14
about to turn 55.
00:42:15
>> Congratulations.
00:42:15
>> Yeah. I'm about to die. But my point is
00:42:17
I'm still sexually active. And what I do
00:42:20
is I have a girlfriend now as well.
00:42:21
>> Yes, you do.
00:42:22
>> Yeah. And still I use Bluetooth. I'll
00:42:24
tell you why.
00:42:25
>> It's easy.
00:42:26
>> It's easy.
00:42:27
>> Cuz as you get older, you mean you have
00:42:28
ED?
00:42:29
>> You do.
00:42:30
>> Erectile dysfunction is what they call
00:42:31
it.
00:42:32
>> And that's not a big deal. Millions and
00:42:33
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00:42:34
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00:42:36
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00:42:39
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00:42:40
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00:42:55
banging, less thinking, more dinking.
00:42:58
Seriously, who wrote this? It's simple.
00:43:00
Chew it and do it.
00:43:02
>> Chew it and do it is all you need to
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00:43:31
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00:43:32
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00:43:35
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00:43:37
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00:44:52
>> No, you're trying to break me and it
00:44:54
just won't work cuz you've been trying
00:44:55
for 20 years.
00:44:57
>> I feel like he sounds like a broken man.
00:45:01
>> Look at me right now.
00:45:02
>> Such pro. Don't talk, please. Cuz the
00:45:04
hosts are talking.
00:45:05
>> Okay. Okay. At all. Look at me right
00:45:07
now.
00:45:07
>> Yeah.
00:45:08
>> Does that sound like a broken little
00:45:09
bit?
00:45:10
>> No.
00:45:14
>> I want more love.
00:45:15
>> I do love him. He's my tour manager. I
00:45:18
will not fire him. He will be my tour
00:45:20
manager to the end of my tour.
00:45:21
>> What started this, do you think?
00:45:22
>> How did this kick off?
00:45:24
>> There was an energy transfer that
00:45:25
happened. I
00:45:26
>> I came in today because my hands were
00:45:28
cramping.
00:45:28
>> Yeah.
00:45:29
>> Right.
00:45:29
>> Okay.
00:45:30
>> My hands were cramping and they're still
00:45:31
cramping. Okay.
00:45:33
>> Um I had a miracle about the eye thing.
00:45:35
But then that lady said, you mean not
00:45:37
Asian.
00:45:38
>> That was rude.
00:45:38
>> And so I was in this kind of mixed move.
00:45:40
Also, when I was driving here, I was
00:45:42
going, I have nothing to talk about.
00:45:43
>> Oh, it's the barbecue. He's mad that I
00:45:45
asked him to pre-order barbecue. I do
00:45:47
feel like the pre-order ask was what
00:45:48
started this whole role.
00:45:50
>> Yeah. And I'm just order for him is what
00:45:52
I'll end up doing.
00:45:54
>> Okay.
00:45:55
>> I want you to be comfortable.
00:45:56
>> Being on tour with like Nirvana would be
00:45:57
easier.
00:45:59
>> Like it was so much calmer in the early
00:46:01
90s with them. I bet
00:46:03
>> it's crazier. Like Michael Michael
00:46:05
Jackson and his monkey or something.
00:46:08
Like it's insane.
00:46:09
>> Insane.
00:46:10
>> So you're saying he's a hard guy to work
00:46:12
with? I think there are levels of
00:46:15
difficulty and he's on one of the higher
00:46:17
ones.
00:46:18
>> Really?
00:46:18
>> Yeah. You have to really like
00:46:19
>> really crazy.
00:46:20
>> Wow.
00:46:21
>> Yeah.
00:46:21
>> Yeah.
00:46:22
>> Now, the hard and the hardest part about
00:46:23
>> Let's Let's go back then.
00:46:24
>> Oh, he's like, "Oh, I'm a man of the
00:46:26
people. That makes me easy to
00:46:27
>> Okay, let's let's if you want to get
00:46:29
real, let's get real."
00:46:30
>> Oh, we haven't been real this whole
00:46:32
>> Oh, no. Because I was kidding about
00:46:33
that. You don't smoke.
00:46:34
>> That's such gaslighting.
00:46:37
>> You're a [ __ ] gaser.
00:46:39
>> I did that for comedy reasons. It's a
00:46:41
comedy podcast. Yeah. Ogres do not smell
00:46:42
like
00:46:43
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:46:43
>> Yeah. Dragons don't exist.
00:46:45
>> Yeah. Yeah. Dragons don't exist.
00:46:46
>> These are actually all mythological
00:46:47
creatures.
00:46:48
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:46:49
>> Yeah. Cherubs, mermaids, all fake. Such
00:46:53
a gas.
00:46:53
>> Yeah. That's That's not gaslighting.
00:46:55
That's a trueism.
00:46:56
>> There is no dragons.
00:46:57
>> There is no dragons. Is a truth.
00:46:58
>> Yeah. There's no
00:46:59
>> is the truth.
00:47:00
>> That's the truth. Truth, right?
00:47:01
>> So, take it back.
00:47:02
>> There trolls. There are some
00:47:04
mythological evidence.
00:47:06
>> Yeah. Give or take.
00:47:06
>> Give or take. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But
00:47:08
anyway, I was in justest saying these
00:47:10
things for comedy purposes at one point
00:47:13
or another. You took it personally.
00:47:15
>> There was a personal take. I called you
00:47:17
those names.
00:47:17
>> Yeah. Yeah. And then you snapped.
00:47:20
>> You got angry.
00:47:20
>> Snap. If I snapped, Andrew would legit
00:47:23
be like, "Get the [ __ ] out of here."
00:47:24
>> No, no, no. I would let you have your
00:47:25
peace. If you want to say your piece,
00:47:26
you can say your piece.
00:47:27
>> That's how you lose your job. I
00:47:29
>> No, no, no. You can't lose your job. I
00:47:31
was just doing it in just Of course you
00:47:32
don't breath a dragon.
00:47:35
>> You can't even say it.
00:47:36
>> Yeah. Yeah. and know all that stuff,
00:47:38
right?
00:47:39
>> I was just giving, you know, light hints
00:47:41
of maybe, you know, I mean, suggestions.
00:47:43
>> Small stuff.
00:47:43
>> Yeah, small stuff. And you took it
00:47:45
personally.
00:47:46
>> I wish that as my friend, you would just
00:47:48
tell me the truth and that you were
00:47:49
trying to break it.
00:47:49
>> Would you rather him tell you the truth,
00:47:50
not on the air?
00:47:52
>> No, on the air.
00:47:53
>> You want it on the air?
00:47:53
>> You want on the air?
00:47:54
>> Cuz it's because you wanted
00:47:55
>> Okay, I will tell you the truth on the
00:47:57
air then. Right. You have dragon's
00:47:59
breath.
00:48:02
>> All right. You smell like an ogre and a
00:48:03
troll.
00:48:04
>> Yeah. and all the things I I can't
00:48:06
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:48:08
>> back. Yeah. Yeah.
00:48:08
>> You can fight back.
00:48:09
>> You can fight back.
00:48:10
>> No.
00:48:10
>> So, let me ask you. I'm difficult on the
00:48:12
road. I'm like like Michael Jackson and
00:48:14
the bubbles or whatever you want.
00:48:15
>> He said you were like bubbles.
00:48:17
>> So, what's my writer?
00:48:19
>> Um,
00:48:20
Smart Water.
00:48:21
>> No, no, it's not. It's not Smart Water.
00:48:24
>> Sugar-free Red Bull.
00:48:25
>> I have two I have two things on my
00:48:27
writer.
00:48:28
>> Okay.
00:48:28
>> All right. Tell me what they are.
00:48:30
>> Water.
00:48:30
>> Yeah.
00:48:31
>> And Sugar-free Red Bull.
00:48:32
>> I just said smart water and sugar. Those
00:48:34
are the only two.
00:48:35
>> Yeah.
00:48:35
>> What is Michael Jackson's writer?
00:48:37
>> Oh, it's like all like the nine-year-old
00:48:39
boy.
00:48:40
>> Yeah. I mean, no, don't say that. No,
00:48:42
but I'm just saying.
00:48:42
>> Okay. That is not his writer.
00:48:43
>> I mean, but what's you know what I mean?
00:48:45
You two's writer.
00:48:46
>> It's not about the writer.
00:48:47
>> Yes, it is. It's about what the tour
00:48:49
manager has to do
00:48:51
>> to make the artist happy. Mine's basic.
00:48:53
I want a stool on stage. Yep.
00:48:55
>> Right. I want a meal.
00:48:57
>> Yeah.
00:48:57
>> Right. I want to pay my openers.
00:48:59
>> Mhm.
00:49:00
>> And and I also want Red Bull and water.
00:49:02
That's it.
00:49:02
>> That's it. I don't want to STIR
00:49:04
ANYTHING, BUT
00:49:06
>> ALL RIGHT. WAR.
00:49:07
>> IT SOUNDS LIKE IT'S COMING.
00:49:08
>> He actually said that Bobby is so cool
00:49:11
on the road that who you know he thinks
00:49:14
Andrew is really really difficult.
00:49:16
>> I And you know that you've said that to
00:49:18
me before.
00:49:19
>> No, y'all are very different. And
00:49:20
answer.
00:49:21
>> You've said that to me before.
00:49:23
>> I would never.
00:49:24
>> Yes, you have.
00:49:24
>> I would literally. No, I would literally
00:49:26
NEVER SAY THAT BECAUSE YOU'RE SUCH A
00:49:28
[ __ ] RAT.
00:49:29
>> YOU'RE SUCH A RAT THAT I WOULD NEVER SAY
00:49:31
THAT. YOU'RE SAYING THIS NOW BECAUSE YOU
00:49:34
KNOW THE [ __ ] FIRE.
00:49:35
>> THAT'S WHY I WOULD NEVER SAY IT BECAUSE
00:49:37
YOU'RE SUCH A RAT.
00:49:38
>> YOU THINK I'M the rat?
00:49:40
>> He's the rat.
00:49:40
>> I WOULD NEVER CALL if
00:49:43
>> I would never call.
00:49:44
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:49:47
>> Andrew. Look at me right now. Be quiet.
00:49:50
>> I call it for him.
00:49:51
>> All right. Listen to me right now. Okay.
00:49:53
>> You have to be more on top of things.
00:49:54
>> Yeah. I'm We're good.
00:49:57
>> No, I'm not worried about you and me.
00:49:58
I'm worried about me and Andrew.
00:49:59
>> I know. I understand. It's good. It's
00:50:01
real good.
00:50:01
>> No, it's not.
00:50:02
>> Yeah, it's good. It's also my
00:50:03
>> Yeah. Yeah, it's good. You know what I
00:50:05
mean? It's good. Let me look at my my
00:50:07
friend here.
00:50:07
>> Yeah.
00:50:08
>> Hello.
00:50:08
>> Hi, man.
00:50:09
>> Yeah. Don't take it personally.
00:50:10
>> Hit me.
00:50:11
>> Okay. Um,
00:50:12
>> you're ready for a [ __ ] lie.
00:50:16
>> Okay. Let's make play play fair. Fair.
00:50:19
>> Play fair.
00:50:20
>> What? What Andreas said.
00:50:22
>> Mhm.
00:50:23
>> What did he say?
00:50:24
>> That I'm more difficult on the road than
00:50:25
you.
00:50:26
>> Okay. Did I say that?
00:50:28
>> You did not. No. Those facts are facts.
00:50:31
>> Fancy said that. Said that. Carlos said
00:50:34
that.
00:50:35
>> Yeah.
00:50:36
>> Behind my back.
00:50:37
>> I've never
00:50:37
>> Yeah. Yeah. So, so
00:50:39
>> listen here, Dragon Boy.
00:50:41
>> I have never fought music ever.
00:50:44
>> So, it's very interesting to me. You
00:50:45
know what I mean? I'm getting the heat
00:50:47
because I'm the easier target than he
00:50:50
is.
00:50:50
>> Welcome to my life. It's like we're
00:50:52
mirror images.
00:50:53
>> I I I know. So, what I'm saying is that
00:50:55
you're he's scarier than I am. Yeah. So,
00:50:58
you have to stay on top of it with him.
00:51:00
>> Yeah. Okay. So, you treat me shittier.
00:51:03
You do because you're afraid of him.
00:51:06
>> This is
00:51:07
>> Let's be real. Let's be real for once.
00:51:09
>> That's not true. I'm not frustrated with
00:51:11
Andrew in the slightest. And it's not
00:51:12
redirected to you. That's insane. I like
00:51:15
working with Andrew.
00:51:18
>> Not anymore.
00:51:22
>> Hey, brother. We're going to be needing
00:51:23
to look for a new tour manager as the
00:51:25
run I have right now is a dragon breath
00:51:30
troll ghoul.
00:51:33
Please,
00:51:34
>> I'm calling mine live.
00:51:36
>> Matt,
00:51:36
>> no. Abby,
00:51:37
>> I'm kidding. I It was I didn't text.
00:51:39
>> I'm doing for real.
00:51:40
>> I would never do that.
00:51:42
>> Carlos is obviously
00:51:44
>> Andre, please.
00:51:51
Hi, it's Bob.
00:51:53
>> Bob.
00:51:55
>> Yeah, one of your clients. Bob Lee.
00:51:58
>> What's up?
00:51:59
>> What's up? Um, I just want to let you
00:52:00
know um you're on Bad Friends right now.
00:52:05
>> I am?
00:52:06
>> Yeah, but don't you're not going to say
00:52:07
anything bad. I'm just going to let you
00:52:08
I'm going to say I'll do all the talking
00:52:10
and then you just and then I'm going to
00:52:11
hang out.
00:52:13
>> Do they hear me this part?
00:52:14
>> Yeah, they're hearing you talk. Yes, but
00:52:17
you don't have to Yeah, but you don't
00:52:18
have to talk anymore. Does she know what
00:52:20
a podcast is?
00:52:23
>> Yeah. Okay. All right. All right. So,
00:52:25
here's here's All right.
00:52:26
>> Um, my tour manager has dragon's breath.
00:52:29
Don't say anything. All right. Smells
00:52:30
like a troll in an ogre. Right. If I
00:52:33
looked at my um my writer, none of the
00:52:35
[ __ ] that's in my dressing room is in
00:52:37
like the fruit play.
00:52:38
>> Not true, Abby.
00:52:39
>> Yeah. Yeah. Don't
00:52:41
>> And I want to let you know, but this
00:52:42
tour is fine, but the next tour I do,
00:52:44
he's out. Okay.
00:52:47
>> I love him. Thank you.
00:52:49
>> Okay. Bye.
00:52:52
>> There's always
00:52:53
>> She's fired. She's fired.
00:52:54
>> She's fired.
00:52:55
>> I will say this.
00:52:56
>> Yes.
00:52:57
>> The fact that you went behind my back.
00:52:59
>> It's insane. That
00:53:00
>> and told Fancy. And McCone. Did he tell
00:53:02
you?
00:53:03
>> Did he tell you? Mone didn't hear this.
00:53:06
>> No. McCon
00:53:09
closer to the mic.
00:53:09
>> McCone, have you ever tour managed?
00:53:12
>> Uh, no. But I've seen a lot of
00:53:14
>> Well, you're about to
00:53:16
mone, you've told me this before. Okay.
00:53:18
And I want you to be on on the record,
00:53:20
right? Who's scarier, Andrew or I?
00:53:23
>> Andrew. Yeah.
00:53:24
>> Okay. Good.
00:53:25
>> That's good. That's the way I
00:53:26
>> All right. But you have said that
00:53:27
before.
00:53:28
>> But fear doesn't make me talk [ __ ] about
00:53:30
him.
00:53:31
>> Or does it?
00:53:32
>> It does. Or or
00:53:33
>> No, I'm so much I don't tell you
00:53:36
anything, Bob, cuz you would tell
00:53:37
everyone my business.
00:53:39
>> Oh, I'm a gossiper. Interesting. I'm a
00:53:42
gossiper. I'm a witch.
00:53:43
>> Yeah, you are.
00:53:44
>> Salem's rich witch trial. Huh? You're
00:53:47
>> Wow.
00:53:48
>> Well, I'm You know what's unfortunate,
00:53:49
Carlos? I will be honest with you right
00:53:50
now.
00:53:51
>> We love you.
00:53:52
>> No, not yet.
00:53:54
>> Okay.
00:53:55
>> I thought, man, I make it real easy on
00:53:58
Carlos. I don't ask for much, but the
00:54:00
simple things.
00:54:01
>> You don't.
00:54:02
>> I just want water and popcorn backstage
00:54:04
before I go on.
00:54:05
>> And you always have it.
00:54:06
>> It's crazy.
00:54:07
>> And I just think I don't ever call you
00:54:09
and bug you and say, "Give me this, give
00:54:10
me that, I need, I need this, I need
00:54:12
that."
00:54:12
>> Yeah.
00:54:14
And
00:54:14
>> and also
00:54:15
>> for you to go behind my back
00:54:17
>> y
00:54:17
>> and tell fancy I'm difficult to deal
00:54:20
with on the road breaks my heart
00:54:23
>> and quite frankly
00:54:24
>> praise the Lord.
00:54:25
>> I think I think that's it for us on the
00:54:27
road.
00:54:28
>> This is sad that we're going to end over
00:54:30
lies from our
00:54:31
>> Who's lying? FY lying.
00:54:32
>> I think Fancy is having a hallucination
00:54:34
from his one of his many colds.
00:54:36
>> Are you lying?
00:54:37
>> Yes.
00:54:37
>> It's a fever dream.
00:54:38
>> I'm lying.
00:54:38
>> No, you're lying about lying now. So now
00:54:40
there's layers of lies. So now I can't
00:54:42
believe anybody in the booth.
00:54:43
>> Yeah.
00:54:44
>> So now we have a booth full of liars.
00:54:46
>> They've always have been liars.
00:54:47
>> Who's to believe now?
00:54:48
>> No one.
00:54:49
>> No. You're in no one to believe.
00:54:50
>> So you are the only person I can
00:54:51
believe. So we have we have I can't
00:54:52
believe you. Don't believe me either.
00:54:54
>> Okay. Well,
00:54:54
>> yeah. Yeah. This is Game of Thrones.
00:54:56
>> Oh no.
00:54:57
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:54:57
>> And whom is the dragon?
00:54:59
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right there. I'm Kesi.
00:55:02
>> You know, for the record, I defended
00:55:03
you. I don't think you have bad breath.
00:55:05
And I don't think you smell bad. Thank
00:55:06
you, brother.
00:55:06
>> Yeah. I don't either. It was just a
00:55:08
joke.
00:55:10
lies.
00:55:11
>> The room full of lies.
00:55:13
>> Yeah. Yeah. I'm a liar as well.
00:55:14
>> Gosh, how do we get away from this?
00:55:16
>> I don't know.
00:55:17
>> Well, let me tell you something though.
00:55:18
In all honesty, all jokes aside,
00:55:19
>> all jokes aside,
00:55:20
>> I love you dearly, Carlos.
00:55:21
>> I do, too.
00:55:22
>> But I will not be touring with you in
00:55:23
the future.
00:55:23
>> He got a good beating today.
00:55:25
>> Mhm.
00:55:26
>> I took it like a like a
00:55:27
>> You know what the worst part of all this
00:55:28
is?
00:55:29
>> What is it?
00:55:30
>> This is like an ex that we have a kid
00:55:33
with.
00:55:34
>> We still have to see these people.
00:55:36
>> What do you mean? You and I had a baby.
00:55:39
Yes. This show is our baby.
00:55:40
>> Yeah. And that's our child.
00:55:42
>> No, no, no. That's that's that's the
00:55:43
that's our ex. These people are these
00:55:45
are ex Yeah. Yeah.
00:55:47
>> And now we have to see them because to
00:55:48
create to keep the baby happy, we have
00:55:50
to see our exes,
00:55:51
>> right? That's exactly what it is.
00:55:53
>> And they're all of our exes.
00:55:54
>> Yeah. I do that on Tiger Belly.
00:56:05
>> A grand slam.
00:56:06
>> A literal grand slam.
00:56:07
>> Yeah. And that's what it is over here.
00:56:09
>> Yeah.
00:56:11
>> I'm disappointed.
00:56:12
>> I'm disappointed, too. If you The way
00:56:13
you framed it
00:56:15
>> makes me disappointed. But I guess, you
00:56:17
know,
00:56:17
>> I guess that's the way it is.
00:56:18
>> The panic. Remember, what did I say
00:56:20
before? I went in hot, right?
00:56:22
>> Mhm.
00:56:23
>> And what did I say? When I walk through
00:56:25
the store,
00:56:26
>> you have nothing to talk about.
00:56:27
>> Exactly. But you know what that really
00:56:29
means?
00:56:30
>> I got something to say.
00:56:31
>> I have to see my ex.
00:56:33
>> Yeah.
00:56:33
>> Yeah.
00:56:34
>> Toxic behavior.
00:56:35
>> Yeah. Yeah. I have to see my ex and I
00:56:36
have to pretend everything's, you know,
00:56:38
>> cool. You know what I mean?
00:56:39
>> Yeah.
00:56:40
>> So, it's like um
00:56:42
>> be cooler.
00:56:43
>> Be cooler.
00:56:44
>> That's great advice.
00:56:45
>> Yeah, it's good advice. Right.
00:56:46
>> Thank you, man.
00:56:47
>> Yeah.
00:56:48
>> And when you walk and when you walk out
00:56:49
of the door, right, don't go just to
00:56:51
Andrew, tell me some business.
00:56:53
>> Okay.
00:56:53
>> Lie to me.
00:56:55
I I I just want to say this, okay?
00:56:57
>> Yeah.
00:56:57
>> And this is the truth of the matter.
00:56:59
>> You're a great boss, man. I love you.
00:57:00
>> Okay. Okay. This is the truth of the
00:57:02
matter. Okay. I'm going to I'm be honest
00:57:03
with you. didn't tell me I'm a good
00:57:04
boss.
00:57:05
>> Tell Andrew He didn't say that.
00:57:08
>> Thank you.
00:57:08
>> He loves you.
00:57:09
>> Thank you.
00:57:11
>> Fancy.
00:57:12
>> He didn't say that.
00:57:13
>> Say you swear on your daughter's life.
00:57:14
He didn't say that.
00:57:16
>> SAY
00:57:19
>> you swear on your daughter's life.
00:57:20
>> On your daughter's life.
00:57:21
>> Say it.
00:57:24
>> No. No. No. Don't.
00:57:25
>> No. No. No. Don't. You can't. What
00:57:27
you're saying, even if you're crossing
00:57:28
your little toes and your fingers and
00:57:30
you're thinking something else, right?
00:57:32
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is true, right?
00:57:35
Say on your daughter's life that he
00:57:37
didn't say that.
00:57:38
>> He didn't.
00:57:40
>> On your on my daughter's life. Say that.
00:57:43
Say he didn't say that on my daughter's
00:57:45
life.
00:57:45
>> He didn't say that on my daughter's
00:57:47
life. Let's go.
00:57:49
>> Okay.
00:57:51
>> Okay.
00:57:51
>> You get a phone call right now. Your
00:57:53
wife is like, "She's dead."
00:57:54
>> Yeah.
00:57:55
>> I I can't believe you would let your
00:57:58
daughter die.
00:58:01
>> Crazy.
00:58:03
So crazy
00:58:04
>> for just the show.
00:58:04
>> Yeah, just for the show. Yeah,
00:58:06
>> that's to give the show.
00:58:08
>> Wow.
00:58:08
>> Call the hospital.
00:58:09
>> Wow. Wow.
00:58:10
>> Call the hospital right now.
00:58:11
>> Call the hospital. Yeah.
00:58:12
>> Um I believe here's the deal. Here's the
00:58:15
deal.
00:58:15
>> There's a lot of bits. We're doing
00:58:16
>> We're lot doing a lot of bits. I was
00:58:17
ripping on you and and here's the honest
00:58:19
truth.
00:58:21
Even with my notoriety
00:58:24
and some of my income, right, I still
00:58:26
don't do better than you when it comes
00:58:28
to the ladies. And historically, I
00:58:31
haven't. Mhm.
00:58:32
>> So maybe it's a little bit my of my
00:58:34
>> Yeah. So
00:58:36
>> you still have dragon's breath.
00:58:40
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:58:41
>> I'm doing the camera.
00:58:42
>> You still have that. You still have all
00:58:43
those things. But still historically
00:58:46
you've always done better than me when
00:58:48
it comes to the attraction of the
00:58:49
opposite sex. So but dragons breath ogre
00:58:53
troll. Thank you for being a bad friend.
00:59:03
Woo!
00:59:08
Woo!
00:59:13
Woo!

Badges

This episode stands out for the following:

  • 60
    Funniest

Episode Highlights

  • Eye Doctor Revelation
    A visit to the eye doctor reveals surprising news about eyesight longevity.
    “Your eyesight is going to be fine until your 80s.”
    @ 04m 19s
    June 01, 2026
  • First Time with Glasses
    Experiencing the world clearly for the first time with glasses is a revelation.
    “You’re going to see life in high definition.”
    @ 04m 55s
    June 01, 2026
  • The Dangers of Bird Watching
    A humorous warning against bird watching leads to a discussion about viruses.
    “Stop watching birds.”
    @ 15m 50s
    June 01, 2026
  • The Hent Virus
    A deep dive into the Hent virus and its potential dangers.
    “I don’t think the hent virus is that scary yet.”
    @ 25m 05s
    June 01, 2026
  • The Goat Scent Debate
    A humorous discussion about cologne ingredients, particularly the use of goat.
    “For a smell good set to have goat in it is crazy.”
    @ 28m 42s
    June 01, 2026
  • Nutrition and Breath
    A conversation about the importance of eating for health and its impact on breath.
    “You need to eat for nutrition. Yeah, it's [ __ ] up your breath.”
    @ 31m 10s
    June 01, 2026
  • Hygiene on the Road
    A lighthearted exchange about personal hygiene and the need for mints while touring.
    “If you need Listerine packets, that's what I brought or mints or gum.”
    @ 33m 53s
    June 01, 2026
  • Erectile Dysfunction Discussion
    A candid conversation about aging and sexual health, emphasizing that it's not a big deal.
    “Millions and millions of people suffer from it.”
    @ 42m 33s
    June 01, 2026
  • Kachava Meal Replacement
    A passionate endorsement for Kachava, highlighting its health benefits and flavors.
    “I’d rather have Kachava than any other meal ever.”
    @ 43m 35s
    June 01, 2026
  • Tour Manager Dynamics
    A humorous exchange about the challenges of touring with different personalities.
    “I want you to be comfortable.”
    @ 45m 56s
    June 01, 2026
  • A Moment of Truth
    A heartfelt declaration of love for a friend: 'You're a great boss, man. I love you.'
    “You're a great boss, man. I love you.”
    @ 56m 59s
    June 01, 2026
  • Dramatic Plea
    A tense moment where someone is urged to swear on their daughter's life.
    “Say you swear on your daughter's life.”
    @ 57m 13s
    June 01, 2026

Episode Quotes

  • You’re going to see life in high definition.
    He's a Rat! | Ep 223 | Bad Friends
  • Stop watching birds.
    He's a Rat! | Ep 223 | Bad Friends
  • We must recede before we proceed.
    He's a Rat! | Ep 223 | Bad Friends
  • You need Listerine packets, that's what I brought or mints or gum.
    He's a Rat! | Ep 223 | Bad Friends
  • Chew it and do it is all you need to know.
    He's a Rat! | Ep 223 | Bad Friends
  • I love you dearly, Carlos.
    He's a Rat! | Ep 223 | Bad Friends

Key Moments

  • Eye Doctor Visit00:12
  • Glasses Revelation01:40
  • Virus Talk13:55
  • Cruise Adventures16:30
  • Affectionate Exchange39:34
  • Aging and Relationships42:11
  • Erectile Dysfunction42:30
  • Exes and Partnerships55:30

Words per Minute Over Time

Vibes Breakdown

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The Way of The Whites w/ Pete Holmes | Ep 317 | Bad Friends
May 04, 2026
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01:23:20
The Way of The Whites w/ Pete Holmes | Ep 317 | Bad Friends
Boiled Hamburgers w/ Brad Williams | Ep 316 Bad Friends
April 13, 2026
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01:14:21
Boiled Hamburgers w/ Brad Williams | Ep 316 Bad Friends
Bobby’s Dog Died on Fancy’s B Day | Ep 314 Bad Friends
March 30, 2026
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01:04:59
Bobby’s Dog Died on Fancy’s B Day | Ep 314 Bad Friends
Hut, Hut, Straight Up | Ep 303 | Bad Friends
January 12, 2026
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01:03:28
Hut, Hut, Straight Up | Ep 303 | Bad Friends
Bobby Falls in Love | Ep 307 | Bad Friends
February 09, 2026
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01:27:09
Bobby Falls in Love | Ep 307 | Bad Friends
Heated Rivalry w/ Rick Glassman | Ep 306 | Bad Friends
February 02, 2026
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01:01:51
Heated Rivalry w/ Rick Glassman | Ep 306 | Bad Friends