00:00:00
You two are bad friends.
00:00:01
>> Who are these two idiots?
00:00:03
>> A white dude and an Asian dude. You two
00:00:07
are disgusting.
00:00:09
>> Oh, you two are something.
00:00:10
>> We're bad friends.
00:00:12
>> Finally, I saw an eye doctor today.
00:00:13
>> What did the doc say?
00:00:14
>> He We took a bunch of tests.
00:00:16
>> Yeah. Like what? Like a a bfq.
00:00:18
>> No, he he said there was one word called
00:00:20
hov.
00:00:21
>> Hov. Yeah.
00:00:21
>> Yeah. Yeah. He goes, "What does that say
00:00:22
>> there?" It said hotov.
00:00:23
>> Yeah. Hotov. Yeah. Yeah. And I go, "Um,
00:00:26
amlim."
00:00:28
>> Yeah. Yeah. And he goes, "That's way
00:00:29
off, right?" Both eyes. Then he scanned
00:00:33
the inner tal of all where all the like
00:00:35
um
00:00:35
>> That's only an Asian cell. That's only
00:00:37
an Asian thing.
00:00:38
>> Yeah, I know.
00:00:38
>> They don't have to do that for us.
00:00:39
>> And what you know what the cells are?
00:00:40
They're squinty.
00:00:42
>> The cells were squinty, dude.
00:00:43
>> Even the cells under microscope.
00:00:45
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:00:46
>> Wait, get up that get that test up and
00:00:48
let me see if we can do it. Ready, Bob?
00:00:49
You
00:00:49
>> I already know. Okay.
00:00:51
>> Okay. Well, that's not Do the other one
00:00:52
you just had. There it is.
00:00:53
>> This one. Okay. What are you going to
00:00:54
do?
00:00:54
>> No, I want to do
00:00:55
>> Well, you're I'm closer. Your eyes are
00:00:58
way better than mine.
00:00:58
>> No, I just want to see what line you can
00:01:00
get down to. So, the first first
00:01:01
>> from here.
00:01:02
>> No, one, two, and three are fine. Do the
00:01:03
fourth line. Fourth line down.
00:01:05
>> T H V O H T O V.
00:01:07
>> Next one.
00:01:09
>> Here we go.
00:01:12
>> H V T O T V H V T O.
00:01:16
>> Great. Next one.
00:01:17
>> Now I'm done. Q2 N.
00:01:19
>> No, Q. It's O again. I mean, the letters
00:01:22
are the same in every single
00:01:23
>> Okay. My point is is that
00:01:25
>> and the bottom one. Can you do that one?
00:01:26
I can't do the bottom one.
00:01:27
>> V O T H T O.
00:01:30
>> Wow.
00:01:31
>> Wow.
00:01:31
>> That one's teeny tiny from here.
00:01:33
>> Yeah. So I
00:01:34
>> But but the doctor said you have
00:01:36
>> you have long distance.
00:01:37
>> He's got little Asian eyes.
00:01:40
>> I love that.
00:01:40
>> You have long distance. And he goes, "I
00:01:42
want to show you something. It's a
00:01:44
miracle." And I go, "What is it?" He
00:01:46
goes, "Walk outside with me." So he was
00:01:48
Asian, by the way.
00:01:49
>> He's like, "Can I get a picture?"
00:01:51
He was Asian, by the way. And he goes,
00:01:54
"Look over there. What do you see?" I
00:01:56
go, I don't know nothing. And he put
00:01:58
these glasses on me. I go, those are
00:02:01
trees.
00:02:04
Like literally, I saw nothing. And he
00:02:07
put the glasses on. This is across the
00:02:09
street. I saw trees. Dude,
00:02:11
>> you act like this is crazy science. It's
00:02:13
just glasses.
00:02:14
>> I know, but I've never had them before.
00:02:17
And then
00:02:17
>> this is like when babies get colear
00:02:19
implants and they can hear.
00:02:21
>> So, what I'm saying is that
00:02:23
>> 19 What? What is that? Glasses were
00:02:25
invented in 1268. They've been around.
00:02:27
>> I know. I HAVEN'T CAUGHT UP YET, DUDE.
00:02:29
OKAY. But when you you know, BECAUSE I'M
00:02:32
YOU KNOW, I know,
00:02:34
>> dude. Since the 13th century, we've had
00:02:36
glasses.
00:02:37
>> I know. I There's an Asian guy wearing
00:02:38
them.
00:02:39
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They've been wearing
00:02:40
them for years. Yeah. Yeah.
00:02:41
>> It's amazing.
00:02:42
>> So So, um I'm getting I don't know what
00:02:44
they're called, but I'm getting the
00:02:46
distance one. You know, all my cool
00:02:48
glasses I wear,
00:02:50
>> I'm getting both lenses
00:02:51
>> prescriptions. Yeah. I'm gonna The top
00:02:53
is going to be long distance and the
00:02:54
bottom is going to be so I can read up
00:02:56
front.
00:02:57
>> Yeah.
00:02:57
>> Oh, so you really you'll be data. You'll
00:02:59
be actually data.
00:02:59
>> I'll be data. But it's so funny. After I
00:03:01
took the glasses off,
00:03:04
>> everything seemed blurry.
00:03:06
>> Well, Christ.
00:03:06
>> So, right now everything seems blurry.
00:03:09
So, maybe I can't see.
00:03:10
>> Well, did they do the drops in your
00:03:11
eyes?
00:03:12
>> No.
00:03:13
>> Wait, don't they do that right when you
00:03:15
dilate your eyes? Dude, let me just say
00:03:17
something to you
00:03:19
>> because I'm not in the best mood and I
00:03:20
would like to say something to everyone.
00:03:22
Not you
00:03:23
>> to these three. Okay.
00:03:24
>> Mhm.
00:03:24
>> I don't do drop by.
00:03:27
>> Okay. I went to
00:03:28
>> You have drop by?
00:03:29
>> I have drop.
00:03:30
>> You don't do drop.
00:03:31
>> I don't do drop by. I have Drop by.
00:03:32
Yeah. Yeah.
00:03:33
>> So why can't you read them?
00:03:34
>> No, I'm saying.
00:03:38
>> Dude,
00:03:40
>> you take it. You know what? Unbutton one
00:03:42
more button.
00:03:42
>> Yeah. Yeah. Unbutton one more button.
00:03:44
>> Unbutton one more. Little pork
00:03:45
>> with a deru shirt. I don't know what
00:03:47
it's called.
00:03:47
>> That's a good thing.
00:03:50
>> Now, let me just say something.
00:03:52
>> Why don't you unbutton one button?
00:03:54
>> All right. So, I went to I I called my
00:03:56
assistant and I said, "I don't want I
00:04:00
want future shit."
00:04:02
>> Oh, yeah. Yeah.
00:04:03
>> So, so they had me in a lab with
00:04:05
machinery. Yeah.
00:04:07
>> And And you know what I mean? You know
00:04:09
what I mean?
00:04:10
>> Give me what NASA does.
00:04:11
>> Yeah. That's what NASA did. So they they
00:04:13
were able to see the interior of my eye,
00:04:15
the actual thing. And guess what? He
00:04:17
goes, "Your eyesight is going to be fine
00:04:19
until your 80s."
00:04:20
>> Cuz you have good eyes.
00:04:21
>> Yeah. He says, he asked me some genetic
00:04:23
questions. There's no blindness.
00:04:25
>> Does your mom have glasses?
00:04:26
>> No.
00:04:27
>> My dad did though,
00:04:28
>> right?
00:04:28
>> And my brother does.
00:04:30
>> Steve does.
00:04:30
>> Yeah, he does. Yeah. Cuz he caught it
00:04:32
early.
00:04:33
>> Yeah. Once you catch it early.
00:04:34
>> Yeah. Yeah. But so now what I'm going to
00:04:35
do is I'm going to do everything with
00:04:37
glasses on. Even make love.
00:04:40
>> You have to have them.
00:04:41
>> Yeah. Because I don't think I've seen
00:04:42
it. Right.
00:04:43
>> Right.
00:04:43
>> Yeah. Everything's been blurry.
00:04:45
>> That's where all your confusion.
00:04:47
>> That's my BELLY BUTTON. WHAT?
00:04:49
>> WHAT?
00:04:50
>> YEAH. YEAH. I'm going to see it. He
00:04:52
goes, "You're going to see life in high
00:04:55
death
00:04:56
>> HD."
00:04:56
>> Yeah. For the first time. But then I go,
00:04:59
"When I get 3 weeks?"
00:05:01
>> Well, yeah. It takes They got to make
00:05:02
them, right? It's got to be
00:05:03
>> Well, I want my style.
00:05:04
>> Yeah.
00:05:04
>> So, I'm taking my you mean the glasses I
00:05:06
wear. I'm going to punch out all those
00:05:08
you mean lenses and put those lenses.
00:05:10
>> They'll do They'll do custom.
00:05:11
>> Oh, they're doing they're doing custom
00:05:12
work for
00:05:13
>> Give me Give me the lyrics to the song.
00:05:14
Uh, Betty Davis Eyes.
00:05:17
>> Betty D. Yeah. Well, it's spelled wrong,
00:05:19
but that's fine. Betty, it'll get there.
00:05:20
Yeah.
00:05:20
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:05:21
>> His hair is bre.
00:05:24
>> Wait, don't do it in an Asian accent.
00:05:25
>> I didn't.
00:05:26
>> Yeah.
00:05:26
>> I don't even know.
00:05:29
>> Marlo,
00:05:31
>> what does that even
00:05:31
>> Marlo Gold? Yeah, but it's I just like
00:05:33
this part. She's got Betty. She got
00:05:35
Betty.
00:05:36
>> He's got little Asian eyes. Yeah. And
00:05:39
he'll tease you. He'll you
00:05:43
>> all the better just to please you.
00:05:46
>> Bob's precocious. Yeah.
00:05:48
>> And he knows just what it takes to make
00:05:51
a pro blush. I love it. Yeah.
00:05:54
>> She's got Greta Garbos. Greta Garbo
00:05:56
standoff size. Bobb's got little Asian
00:05:58
eyes. Beautiful.
00:05:59
>> She's got Genghask Khan standout. Right.
00:06:03
Let's change it.
00:06:03
>> Standoff size. Genghaskhan standoff
00:06:05
size.
00:06:05
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:06:06
>> You have beautiful little eyes. I went
00:06:07
to the dentist this morning. What? And
00:06:09
let me guess,
00:06:10
>> brother. They say the same thing every
00:06:11
time.
00:06:12
>> You got two?
00:06:12
>> No, I got zero this time.
00:06:13
>> Thank God.
00:06:14
>> But but they say the same thing every
00:06:15
time. And she's so nice about it.
00:06:18
>> Do you are you have you been How much
00:06:21
are you flossing?
00:06:22
>> Uh
00:06:23
>> I said I am flossing. She said, "How
00:06:25
much?" I said, "Almost never."
00:06:28
>> YEAH.
00:06:29
>> I'm honest about it.
00:06:30
>> All right. I'm going to show you
00:06:31
something. All right, guys.
00:06:31
>> I mean, I'm trying.
00:06:32
>> I know you're trying.
00:06:33
>> Okay. How about this? I'm going to get
00:06:34
in one maybe two days a week.
00:06:36
>> I always have.
00:06:37
>> You do? You're good.
00:06:38
>> Yeah. Yeah, but I've been using this one
00:06:39
for a year.
00:06:43
>> It's the same one.
00:06:44
>> It's the same one.
00:06:45
>> But it doesn't even have a string on it
00:06:46
anymore. It's gone.
00:06:46
>> It's the Yeah, string's gone. But
00:06:48
>> how many days a week are you flossing
00:06:49
for real?
00:06:49
>> Every day.
00:06:50
>> Every day. What about you?
00:06:51
>> Every day.
00:06:52
>> Three times a week.
00:06:53
>> Three.
00:06:53
>> Four.
00:06:55
>> Four.
00:06:55
>> Mhm.
00:06:56
>> Wow. I'm way behind.
00:06:57
>> Rest on the weekends.
00:06:58
>> Yeah.
00:06:59
>> Well, God needed I do one to two days a
00:07:01
week because it's like on the move and
00:07:02
and you know what it really is? It's
00:07:03
usually after a big meal out. But if
00:07:05
like today I had smoothie and a [ __ ]
00:07:08
It's like
00:07:08
>> I'm going to I'm brushing three day
00:07:10
three times a three times day. No,
00:07:12
you're not.
00:07:12
>> No, I brush in the morning when I get
00:07:13
home and then before I go to bed.
00:07:14
>> Okay. I don't think so.
00:07:16
>> My mom No, my mom did it to me. My mom
00:07:18
did midday.
00:07:18
>> What about this? Morning floss and then
00:07:21
night.
00:07:22
>> Morning floss instead of
00:07:23
>> Yeah. The midday one just floss.
00:07:25
>> I like the midday brush because then in
00:07:27
case my wife and I have a midday hookup,
00:07:28
it's a nice brush cuz then you have
00:07:29
fresh breath in the middle of the day.
00:07:30
>> I do a midday poo. I do three.
00:07:32
>> I do that while I'm pooing. Brush. Okay.
00:07:34
Okay.
00:07:34
>> It's one of the same.
00:07:35
>> Yeah.
00:07:36
>> But I that don't see he's agreeing. A
00:07:37
midday brush is really nice.
00:07:39
>> You you know what the dentist told me? I
00:07:41
have so many missing teeth. He said by
00:07:42
the age of 60, all of them are going to
00:07:44
fall out.
00:07:45
>> Congrats. That's huge.
00:07:46
>> So then I don't know what to do.
00:07:47
>> Well, your vision will be good, but your
00:07:48
mouth will be
00:07:51
>> perfect vision with gums.
00:07:53
>> Yeah,
00:07:53
>> I can see everything.
00:08:00
>> I'm [ __ ]
00:08:01
>> [ __ ] I'm [ __ ]
00:08:02
>> Wait, what? By the way, you're just
00:08:02
going to get end up getting what
00:08:03
everybody gets is caps. Everybody gets
00:08:05
caps now.
00:08:05
>> No. What? No. What they have to do is
00:08:07
drill into my bone.
00:08:09
>> But wait a minute. Veneers are different
00:08:10
than um caps. You can just get caps on.
00:08:13
>> No. He said that my teeth are so weak.
00:08:16
>> Why?
00:08:16
>> I don't know why.
00:08:17
>> You have, let me see. You have great
00:08:19
teeth.
00:08:19
>> I know, but they're weak. The
00:08:20
foundations and the root, it's all
00:08:23
[ __ ]
00:08:24
>> I have like gingivis number five or
00:08:25
whatever.
00:08:26
>> But Koreans usually have very strong
00:08:27
teeth. You can look this up. Koreans are
00:08:29
actually known to have some of the
00:08:29
strongest teeth in the world.
00:08:30
>> Yeah. So, how come you didn't get that?
00:08:32
I
00:08:32
>> I don't know. Genetically, I got the
00:08:34
armpit thing, but that's it.
00:08:35
>> You did get the armpit thing. Yeah.
00:08:36
Yeah.
00:08:36
>> Look at this. Yes. Look at this. Zoom
00:08:38
in. Many Koreans have strong, healthy
00:08:39
teeth. A culture of meticulous oral
00:08:41
hygiene. Prevalent 333 rule. Brushing
00:08:43
three times a day. Told you.
00:08:45
>> Three minutes each. I'm telling you, in
00:08:46
Kore Koreans are known for having
00:08:48
phenomenal teeth. This was an exception.
00:08:50
>> This one was an exception to the rule.
00:08:51
And that's why he's the most famous
00:08:52
Korean in the world. Watch your [ __ ]
00:08:53
mouth, Spaniard.
00:08:54
>> Yeah, you bastard. You know, the
00:08:56
disrespect is out of and out of control
00:08:58
today.
00:08:59
>> You've been nuts today. Yeah, he was
00:09:00
came with an attitude this morning.
00:09:01
>> I know. Hey, he was on the phone in the
00:09:03
parking lot.
00:09:03
>> I saw
00:09:04
>> and he waved ME OFF.
00:09:05
>> I SAW I SAW I saw
00:09:06
>> waved me off.
00:09:07
>> I This is what he did. Okay. I saw I saw
00:09:09
I saw everything. Okay.
00:09:11
>> He comes out of Right. goes towards your
00:09:14
car. I left a space for you cuz I know
00:09:16
how angry you get.
00:09:16
>> Thank you.
00:09:17
>> If I'm park close.
00:09:18
>> Well, cuz the doors hit cuz our parking
00:09:20
spots were made were made by Brad
00:09:21
Williams designed our parking lot.
00:09:22
>> Yeah. Yeah. So, I put a space between us
00:09:26
and he comes out and he's the the door's
00:09:28
literally between our cars and he goes
00:09:31
towards you for some business
00:09:33
information.
00:09:34
>> Andrew busy,
00:09:35
>> right? Then I and you're on the phone.
00:09:37
You're busy. So, I'm available and I
00:09:39
turn to Andrew and I go, "Is there
00:09:42
anything I can help with you?" He goes,
00:09:43
"Nope."
00:09:45
>> I go, "Can I help with something?" He
00:09:46
goes, "You can't do."
00:09:47
>> What were you on the Who are you on the
00:09:49
phone with? Who are you on the phone
00:09:50
with? Hot shot. You're being a hot shot.
00:09:52
Who are you on the phone with? Hot shot.
00:09:53
You don't want to say.
00:09:54
>> Yeah, it's a business. It's a secret
00:09:56
business thing, but he goes,
00:09:57
>> "It's something I can talk to you
00:09:59
about."
00:10:00
>> And I'm like, "Okay."
00:10:01
>> All right. So, I guess I got nothing.
00:10:05
>> You explain.
00:10:05
>> Is Yeah, I got nothing.
00:10:08
>> I told you you're not going to do it.
00:10:10
>> You can.
00:10:11
>> That's true. But still ask.
00:10:13
>> But still, he wants to know.
00:10:14
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Still ask.
00:10:16
>> Dude, my hands are cramping up so bad.
00:10:17
>> Drink some drink that other water.
00:10:19
>> Like everything's cramping up, dude.
00:10:21
What do they do to you at the eye
00:10:22
doctor?
00:10:22
>> No, I haven't been drinking water all
00:10:24
day.
00:10:24
>> We got to have some water.
00:10:25
>> Okay, I'll tell you why I'm in a bad
00:10:26
mood.
00:10:28
>> Ow.
00:10:30
I swear to God. I swear to God. I am
00:10:32
cramping up everything.
00:10:33
>> How do you solve hand cramps? Here we
00:10:34
go. Gently stretch. Get some electrodes.
00:10:36
Massage the affected area. Uh mone, will
00:10:38
you come massage his hands, please?
00:10:40
>> No, I'm being real, dude. Everything is
00:10:41
cramping.
00:10:42
>> Do we have those heat things you put
00:10:43
your hand in? Do we have that hand heat
00:10:44
thing again? Where's the hand massager?
00:10:46
Didn't we buy one of those?
00:10:47
>> I think I'm fine. I'm fine. You don't
00:10:49
you don't have to shake it
00:10:50
>> or massage it. So today, just now before
00:10:53
I got here, I'm gonna tell you what
00:10:54
restaurant, but I was sitting at a
00:10:56
restaurant, right? And there was a girl
00:10:58
and three guys sitting at a table right
00:10:59
next to mine.
00:11:00
>> Okay.
00:11:00
>> Do you imagine?
00:11:01
>> I've seen that movie.
00:11:02
>> Okay. The whole table goes high. We're
00:11:05
big fans.
00:11:06
>> Yeah.
00:11:06
>> Right. And the girl goes, "Yeah, I'm a
00:11:08
big fan. I have bad friends this." I go,
00:11:09
"That's fine." I go I go, "But one of
00:11:11
these guys your boyfriends?" And she
00:11:13
goes, "No, no, no. They're just friends
00:11:14
of mine." I go, "Uh oh." I go, "What are
00:11:16
you looking for in a guy?" And she goes,
00:11:18
"Not Asian."
00:11:20
>> Wow. Did they laugh?
00:11:21
>> I WASN'T EVEN HITTING ON HER, DUDE.
00:11:23
>> WELL, if you say to a girl, "What are
00:11:25
you looking for?" Okay,
00:11:27
>> I just
00:11:28
>> Time out. You said, "Do you have a
00:11:29
boyfriend?"
00:11:30
>> Cramping the [ __ ] up, guy.
00:11:32
>> That she got me all cramped up, guy.
00:11:33
>> Do you have a boyfriend? I don't. What
00:11:35
are you looking for in a guy? It seems
00:11:37
like you're maybe saying, "Are you
00:11:38
interested in I?"
00:11:39
>> No, because they First of all,
00:11:41
>> he was just being
00:11:43
>> Oh, you're an What's ank?
00:11:46
You're a king.
00:11:48
>> What is uncle?
00:11:49
>> Unk is like what the kids the kids call
00:11:51
us.
00:11:52
>> Like uncle.
00:11:52
>> Yeah. I was I was being polite.
00:11:54
>> Yeah.
00:11:55
>> Right. I go, "Oh, are any of these guys
00:11:58
your boyfriend?" Which is And they're
00:12:00
like, "No, we're just They were like,
00:12:01
"We're just friends."
00:12:02
>> But that is an encline. Like ank says
00:12:03
something like, "Uh, man, that is a
00:12:05
that's a short skirt for a day like
00:12:06
today." That's an encline.
00:12:09
>> Oh, really?
00:12:09
>> It's an encline.
00:12:10
>> All right. So, I did. That was an enk.
00:12:12
>> Youked it.
00:12:12
>> Yeah. But could she say something? Oh my
00:12:14
god. Could she say something different?
00:12:16
>> Okay, I'll be the girl. Ready? Yeah. Go
00:12:17
ahead.
00:12:17
>> I go, um, you have to approach me first.
00:12:20
I'm eating.
00:12:21
>> Hey, we're huge fans. I just want to
00:12:23
tell you we're huge fans.
00:12:24
>> Thank you.
00:12:24
>> Yeah.
00:12:25
>> Oh. Um, are these
00:12:28
When are you these guys your boyfriend?
00:12:30
>> No, these are all my friends. We're just
00:12:31
friends.
00:12:32
>> Oh, cool. Oh, so you're single?
00:12:34
>> I am.
00:12:34
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What kind of guys are
00:12:36
you looking for?
00:12:38
>> Tall guys.
00:12:40
>> Oh, cool. Much better.
00:12:42
>> Tall guys. guys who you know guys who
00:12:45
are like Mayflower material.
00:12:47
>> What do you mean by that? Like who can
00:12:48
build a ship?
00:12:49
>> People who came over on one of his first
00:12:51
couple boats.
00:12:53
>> Oh,
00:12:55
I see. I see.
00:12:56
>> Yeah. People
00:12:56
>> like Amastad.
00:12:58
>> People who own people like you.
00:12:59
>> Oh, not Amastad.
00:13:01
>> No. No. Opposite.
00:13:03
>> Opposite of Amastad.
00:13:04
>> People who own those boats.
00:13:05
>> Oh, the people that own the boats.
00:13:07
>> Those are the guys I own.
00:13:07
>> Oh, okay.
00:13:08
>> Yeah. Do you own a boat?
00:13:09
>> Uh, a yacht.
00:13:11
>> You own a yacht? Yeah. How big?
00:13:13
>> Pretty [ __ ] big.
00:13:14
>> How many feet?
00:13:14
>> Have you heard of haunt virus?
00:13:16
>> Is that you?
00:13:16
>> That's my yacht.
00:13:18
>> You guys are at it again.
00:13:20
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:13:22
>> By the way, don't get me started cuz
00:13:23
I've You're the fourth person today
00:13:25
who's talked about it.
00:13:27
>> Freaking out about it.
00:13:28
>> I'm going to tell you about it.
00:13:30
>> Don't do a conspira. It's not
00:13:31
>> It's a con. I'm going to tell you about
00:13:33
it.
00:13:34
>> Bring it up.
00:13:34
>> No, you don't have to even bring it up.
00:13:36
Don't bring it up. I will tell you about
00:13:38
it. Ask me.
00:13:39
>> Don't bring it up. He's going to bring
00:13:40
it up.
00:13:41
>> Yeah. Ask me. Okay. Is the haunt virus
00:13:43
going to be the next uh plague, viral
00:13:45
plague?
00:13:46
>> Nope.
00:13:47
>> Why is that?
00:13:48
>> Because uh
00:13:48
>> because we've gotten all of the bad food
00:13:50
out of the way.
00:13:52
>> No. No.
00:13:52
>> He's going to take respect.
00:13:53
>> I'll tell I'll tell you why. Okay. Um
00:13:55
there's different strains of this virus.
00:13:58
>> Just like CO.
00:13:58
>> Just like CO,
00:14:00
>> but most of the Don't look it up, man.
00:14:02
>> Don't look it up.
00:14:02
>> Don't look it up, guy. Most of the
00:14:04
strains you get are it from rats.
00:14:06
>> So if I No, I'm being real. So if I'm in
00:14:09
Brazil, I'm just an arbitrary country.
00:14:12
>> Seemed pretty pointed.
00:14:13
>> I was gonna say Argentina, but I went
00:14:15
Brazil. Sure.
00:14:16
>> I'm in Colombia. Right.
00:14:20
>> Right.
00:14:20
>> It's all
00:14:23
in the same area. I'm in Peru now.
00:14:25
Listen.
00:14:28
>> He's just naming South America.
00:14:30
>> Yeah. Yeah. All right. So I'm in Peru,
00:14:32
okay?
00:14:34
>> And I'm You mean I'm mopping, right?
00:14:37
always mopping
00:14:37
>> a hallway
00:14:38
>> or an alleyway. There happens to be rat
00:14:41
[ __ ] and rat piss
00:14:43
>> or right this the particles go up by the
00:14:46
air. I sniff it. You can get it mostly
00:14:48
that way.
00:14:48
>> That's how they get it from huffing rat
00:14:50
poop particles.
00:14:51
>> Now there's one called the andis strain
00:14:55
which is the one that's on the cruise
00:14:56
ship which is human to human.
00:14:59
>> So this is like if you had it and you
00:15:00
were kissing a girl she gets it.
00:15:02
>> But see the odds of getting it
00:15:04
>> smelling the poop.
00:15:07
You want to leave that bit in?
00:15:09
>> Yeah. Keep that bit in.
00:15:10
>> Keep that in.
00:15:11
>> Yeah. Yeah. Cuz sometimes we need anti-
00:15:13
comedy
00:15:13
>> when he bombs.
00:15:14
>> Yeah. Yeah. Cuz it makes us funnier.
00:15:16
>> It's perfect.
00:15:16
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:15:17
>> So anyway, the um
00:15:19
>> loser
00:15:19
>> loser. You're a [ __ ] loser. But
00:15:21
anyway,
00:15:21
>> unbutton another button.
00:15:22
>> Unbutton another.
00:15:23
>> So it's so human to human.
00:15:25
>> Human to human. And even in that it's
00:15:27
very difficult to get apparently.
00:15:28
>> Really?
00:15:29
>> Yes.
00:15:29
>> Wow.
00:15:30
>> Because the couple that got it on the
00:15:31
cruise were sleeping together on the
00:15:33
same bed.
00:15:34
>> Well, they were husband and wife, right?
00:15:35
Yeah. Yeah. That makes sense. Yeah. So,
00:15:36
so that makes sense, right? The only
00:15:39
scary part is this.
00:15:42
>> Who got it first, by the way?
00:15:43
>> Did the guy or the girl get it? And they
00:15:45
got it from a rat on the boat.
00:15:47
>> No, they got it from bird watching in
00:15:50
Argentina.
00:15:50
>> I've said it once. I'll say it again.
00:15:52
Stop watching birds.
00:15:53
>> Stop watching them.
00:15:54
>> They don't need to be watching.
00:15:55
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They need to be
00:15:56
perceived. You have to perceive them.
00:15:58
perceive a bird is fine because if a
00:15:59
hawk is going to come and attack your
00:16:00
eyes perception and I don't have the
00:16:02
eyes to even witness the hawk
00:16:04
>> until you get the glasses
00:16:05
>> right until I get the glasses right so
00:16:07
don't poke up my eyes hawk correct
00:16:09
>> right so my point is is that um they
00:16:12
were out you know you know these there's
00:16:14
different kinds of cruises
00:16:15
>> I had an image of you between the time
00:16:18
when you leave and you're getting your
00:16:19
glasses and you don't have hawks just
00:16:22
smashing you in the eyes
00:16:23
>> I NEED GLASSES
00:16:25
yeah
00:16:26
>> there different kinds of cruises
00:16:28
Yeah. So when I this kind of crew like I
00:16:30
did a cruise with the Adam Divine folk,
00:16:33
>> right?
00:16:33
>> Right. That's max go back.
00:16:35
>> Ah,
00:16:36
>> right. But there's certain cruises,
00:16:37
adventurism cruises. White cruises.
00:16:40
>> White people cruises.
00:16:41
>> Yeah. Yeah. White people cruises. Like I
00:16:42
need to get go to go to the top of that
00:16:44
mountain.
00:16:44
>> Right. You know what I mean? I need to
00:16:46
see the the top of that Mayan temple.
00:16:48
>> I must get to Kilamanjaro.
00:16:49
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The
00:16:51
explorers. I'll go deeper into the cave.
00:16:53
You know the ones that go in the
00:16:54
crevices.
00:16:54
>> Why are you in there?
00:16:55
>> Yeah. What are you doing in there?
00:16:56
>> What's in there? Nothing's in there.
00:16:57
There's nothing. And they get stuck.
00:16:58
They're like, "I can't move." I GO, "CUZ
00:17:00
BLACK PEOPLE DON'T DO THAT.
00:17:03
They don't even go. We don't go to caves
00:17:05
like that.
00:17:05
>> You've never heard a black guy get stuck
00:17:07
in spelunking in a cave?"
00:17:08
>> No. No. You There are like [ __ ] caves
00:17:11
in Asia, Vietnam, and whatnot that white
00:17:14
people discovered before the Asians did.
00:17:16
>> Yeah. We didn't know that was there.
00:17:17
>> I'm sure the Vietnamese knew that it was
00:17:19
there. They're like, "We're not going
00:17:20
near it."
00:17:20
>> No way.
00:17:21
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:17:21
>> White people love spelunking.
00:17:23
>> They love spelunking. So, this is white
00:17:25
people's fault.
00:17:26
>> This is
00:17:26
>> Yeah. So they went on an adventure. They
00:17:29
caught it. You know what I mean? They
00:17:31
brought it back on the um cruise and um
00:17:34
I think it's but the scary part is
00:17:37
somebody that was flying to South
00:17:39
Africa,
00:17:41
right? Who died
00:17:42
>> brought it
00:17:43
>> brought it to South but died but the
00:17:46
stewardist. Is that what you call them
00:17:47
now? No. A flight attendant. A flight
00:17:50
attendant got it.
00:17:51
>> Oh no.
00:17:52
>> You know what I mean? So that's a little
00:17:53
weird. Well, cuz airplanes are the one.
00:17:55
That's the one where I'm like, you're in
00:17:57
a contained space and they're like, the
00:17:58
hepailters are really good. You're like,
00:18:00
not when the guy next to me is GOING
00:18:04
>> cuz I've sat next to that guy many
00:18:06
flights.
00:18:06
>> Oh, dude. I have a rule and I I I have a
00:18:09
message to everyone listening.
00:18:11
If you're super have a cold and you're
00:18:14
super sick, don't get on a plane and
00:18:16
don't go and don't go to work.
00:18:17
>> Don't get on don't you don't need to go
00:18:18
to work. If I say food industry,
00:18:21
>> I've had waiters, you know what I mean?
00:18:23
Super sick.
00:18:25
>> Like, fries.
00:18:26
>> Your fries. Super sick. It's like, what
00:18:29
are you doing at work, dude?
00:18:30
>> Take a day down.
00:18:31
>> Yeah. Not I understand the economy.
00:18:33
>> People need to work.
00:18:34
>> They need to work. I understand. And I'm
00:18:36
for that.
00:18:36
>> I'm going to I'm going to be the
00:18:37
opposite. I'm devil's advocate. I think
00:18:39
everyone should go to work as sick as
00:18:40
they POSSIBLY ARE.
00:18:42
>> YOU [ __ ] [ __ ]
00:18:43
>> You know who does it every day? Who?
00:18:44
>> Fancy.
00:18:45
>> That's right.
00:18:46
>> Has never not come to work. Don't take a
00:18:48
day off. You're sick now.
00:18:49
>> But we go on the road, we get it from
00:18:51
him and then all of a sudden we're in
00:18:52
Denver Saturday night. All sick.
00:18:54
>> Yeah. And we're all sick. And it's your
00:18:55
[ __ ] fault. And
00:18:56
>> you've got everyone in this room sick
00:18:58
multiple time.
00:18:59
>> You're a [ __ ] [ __ ] dude.
00:19:00
>> You're a carrier.
00:19:01
>> I edited this show with like 110 fever.
00:19:05
>> Okay.
00:19:06
>> But I bet you money if I get the haunt
00:19:09
virus. H virus. You gave it to me.
00:19:12
>> You did. It's got a 30 to 40% mortality
00:19:15
rate. What? And there's a 21 to 40 day
00:19:21
incubation period.
00:19:23
>> So you don't even know.
00:19:24
>> But here's the good news.
00:19:26
>> You don't know for a month.
00:19:27
>> Here's the good news. You want to hear
00:19:29
the good news?
00:19:29
>> Please.
00:19:30
>> Even if you have it and I I have it, but
00:19:33
it's it's it's not like I'm u it's
00:19:35
incubating.
00:19:36
>> Mhm.
00:19:37
>> You're not going to catch it for me
00:19:38
until I have symptoms.
00:19:40
>> Ah.
00:19:41
>> Right. So it's like if I'm if I have H.
00:19:43
Ha. I don't know how you call it. And I
00:19:45
sneeze.
00:19:46
>> What does it prefer to be called?
00:19:47
>> Yeah. You Spanish [ __ ]
00:19:49
>> H.
00:19:50
>> H.
00:19:51
>> Sounds like a good car company out of
00:19:52
Japan.
00:19:53
>> Yeah.
00:19:53
>> Hunter.
00:19:54
>> Hunter virus.
00:19:55
>> H.
00:19:55
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:19:57
>> Yeah. So
00:19:58
>> the all new Hunter.
00:20:00
>> So if I had it and I was showing
00:20:03
symptoms and I sneezed in front of you,
00:20:05
>> then
00:20:06
>> then Yeah. But
00:20:07
>> bring that back up though. That says the
00:20:08
rattia cities. I didn't say that.
00:20:11
>> No, but look, most ratinfested cities
00:20:12
are LA, Chicago, Paris, New York,
00:20:14
London, and Dishnoke, India. Known for
00:20:17
its Karim, Manta Temple, famously home
00:20:19
to thousands of rats. Considered holy.
00:20:21
Oh, holy rats don't get it though.
00:20:23
>> Yeah. So, did I get the facts correct
00:20:26
about the hent virus?
00:20:28
>> Y
00:20:28
>> Yeah, you did. And can I say this? This
00:20:30
is a temple dedicated to rats.
00:20:32
>> That's crazy.
00:20:33
>> Wow.
00:20:33
>> Just don't go there, white people.
00:20:35
>> Yeah, don't go. Well, that's it's in
00:20:36
India.
00:20:37
>> I know. But they go they do the cruise.
00:20:39
We got to go to that temple.
00:20:40
>> Gotta go.
00:20:41
>> Yeah. You But not you.
00:20:42
>> I would never.
00:20:43
>> No. No. No. You're You're more
00:20:45
>> I'm a landlocked guy.
00:20:46
>> No. You're more ethnic when it comes to
00:20:48
decision- making. Thank you.
00:20:49
>> Yeah. You're not You're Yeah. You're not
00:20:51
going to bungee jump. Nope.
00:20:52
>> Have you bungee jumped?
00:20:53
>> Never. I would skydive or anything. I'm
00:20:56
way more ethnic when it comes to white
00:20:58
mountain biking.
00:20:59
>> Yeah. Mountain biking.
00:21:00
>> Why am I on a bicycle on a
00:21:01
>> mountain? No. Flat land.
00:21:02
>> Flat. Flat on flat. Me bike on flat.
00:21:05
>> Yeah. Yeah. I do VR biking.
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>> Let RocketMoney help you reach your
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financial goals faster. Join at
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rocketmoney.com/badfriends.
00:24:59
>> You heard him. That's
00:24:59
rocketmoney.com/badfriends.
00:25:01
rocketmoney.com/badfriends.
00:25:03
>> My point though being is I don't think
00:25:05
the hent virus is that scary yet. But
00:25:10
>> here's the thing that we need need to be
00:25:12
careful of.
00:25:13
>> All viruses
00:25:15
they want to survive.
00:25:16
>> They're looking for a host,
00:25:18
>> right? And the in order to survive they
00:25:20
mutate.
00:25:21
>> Oh [ __ ]
00:25:22
>> Right. And co has mutated many times.
00:25:25
thousands and thousands of times.
00:25:27
>> This thing's is a better mutator.
00:25:29
>> Yeah. I don't know. We don't know yet.
00:25:31
That's why you know who is getting
00:25:32
upfront.
00:25:34
>> You know what I mean? The World Health
00:25:35
Organization,
00:25:36
>> WHO.
00:25:37
>> Yeah. They're getting upfront on the
00:25:38
messaging.
00:25:39
>> By the way, this does say kidney failure
00:25:40
can happen within 4 to 10 days after
00:25:42
symptoms. You can just lose your kidney.
00:25:44
>> Yeah, it's bad. This one is bad. And you
00:25:46
know what's going to happen is
00:25:47
>> people are going to die.
00:25:48
>> No, because of if this becomes like CO,
00:25:51
what's going to happen is they tricked
00:25:53
us last time.
00:25:54
>> Yeah. Are they're not going to do it
00:25:55
again?
00:25:55
>> Yeah, they're not going to do it again.
00:25:56
I'm going to the [ __ ] country music
00:25:58
festival.
00:25:59
>> I'm going to go.
00:25:59
>> Right. Not that it could be Coachella.
00:26:02
>> Come get you a rat.
00:26:03
>> I don't want to be regional about
00:26:04
>> Come get a rat on you mean
00:26:06
>> get a rat on a stick.
00:26:07
>> Yeah. Yeah. And then all of a sudden
00:26:09
it's like the mortality rate's worse and
00:26:12
it's going to get bad.
00:26:13
>> I think we're good. Knock on knock on
00:26:14
>> I think we're good. I think we're good
00:26:16
>> because I
00:26:16
>> I mean we're going to go into a
00:26:18
recession.
00:26:18
>> God bless.
00:26:19
>> Yeah. And and the economy is [ __ ]
00:26:21
>> Let's go. No,
00:26:23
>> we got to go into a recession.
00:26:24
>> Why?
00:26:25
>> Because they have to go down to go back
00:26:26
up. That's the only way it works. If we
00:26:28
don't do a recession, it's then we go
00:26:29
into depression.
00:26:31
>> Ah,
00:26:31
>> we must recede before we proceed.
00:26:33
>> Oh, like a wave.
00:26:34
>> We must hit the wave.
00:26:35
>> Oh, I see.
00:26:35
>> As of May, the US economy is not in a
00:26:37
current recession. Faces significant
00:26:39
material headwinds and mixed signals.
00:26:41
Some analysts foresee a 40 50%
00:26:43
probability of downturn due to high
00:26:45
interest rates. It is,
00:26:46
>> but there's an AI bubble that could pop.
00:26:49
You know what I mean? And if that
00:26:50
happens, You know what I mean? Then you
00:26:54
know
00:26:54
>> I don't want
00:26:55
>> what
00:26:55
>> it just scared.
00:26:56
>> It's like
00:26:58
>> who knows what's
00:26:58
>> Who knows what's happening.
00:26:59
>> Are you feeling better? He said he was
00:27:01
feeling better earlier.
00:27:02
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:27:02
>> The head feels good. It looks good.
00:27:04
>> Thank you.
00:27:04
>> Your head feels good.
00:27:05
>> Yeah. It just hurts in the back a little
00:27:06
bit.
00:27:06
>> You know, I can't see a It's got I mean
00:27:09
from afar when I look closer I see
00:27:11
little redness.
00:27:12
>> Yeah.
00:27:12
>> From afar it looks normal.
00:27:14
>> Yeah. I mean it'll
00:27:16
>> dude how funny if he turns into like a
00:27:17
male model when this is over.
00:27:19
>> Oh, that'd be awesome. If we shift him
00:27:20
into modeling now in his
00:27:21
>> He is handsome.
00:27:22
>> He is. The kid's handsome.
00:27:23
>> Yeah. Yeah. You do stink
00:27:25
>> because I'm always busy and
00:27:27
>> No, I know. Can I just say something
00:27:28
about I You're handsome and you have a
00:27:31
cool vibe.
00:27:32
>> Thanks, bro.
00:27:32
>> You know what I mean?
00:27:33
>> Setup. Set up. Set up.
00:27:34
>> Oh, yeah.
00:27:34
>> Here it is.
00:27:35
>> Anything before the butt doesn't count.
00:27:37
>> The butt's my favorite.
00:27:38
>> Why can't I be honest?
00:27:39
>> Yeah. No, you're No, we like it. Be
00:27:42
honest.
00:27:42
>> Yeah, you smell always good.
00:27:45
>> Ditto. By the way, I smell
00:27:48
>> I know. I smelled a girl last night at
00:27:50
the [ __ ] restaurant and I was like,
00:27:52
"God, what is that? That smells
00:27:54
incredible." She sat next to us and my
00:27:56
wife was like, "That's that's Bobby's
00:27:59
cologne."
00:28:00
>> Yeah.
00:28:00
>> I smelled you on someone else.
00:28:02
>> Yeah.
00:28:03
>> And it made me get
00:28:04
>> I ran up to her. I did an Asian accent
00:28:06
to her.
00:28:07
>> I missed you so much.
00:28:09
>> She because you wear a lot of unisex.
00:28:11
>> You some sweet. You know what I mean?
00:28:13
Woody sweet, you know what I mean? But I
00:28:14
go
00:28:15
>> She had your cologne on or your perfume.
00:28:17
>> My perfume. Yeah. Why do you think he So
00:28:18
you think he smells
00:28:19
>> at times your breath?
00:28:23
>> You know what I mean?
00:28:24
>> What I use?
00:28:26
>> Yeah.
00:28:27
>> Malon and goats rum.
00:28:28
>> Yeah.
00:28:29
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:28:29
>> I don't know if Don't put goat in.
00:28:30
>> It's too goat. It's too goat.
00:28:32
>> Goat. More.
00:28:33
>> Yeah. Do more. Yeah.
00:28:34
>> Founders are gay.
00:28:36
>> Less goat. More.
00:28:38
>> Less goat. Yeah. In fact, how about
00:28:39
this? Only Mullen.
00:28:42
>> For a smell good set to have goat in it
00:28:44
is crazy.
00:28:44
>> It is crazy, dude.
00:28:45
>> Is there a little bit of sheep in there,
00:28:47
too? I mean,
00:28:48
>> I'm using Marcus and farts right now.
00:28:54
>> More Marcus.
00:28:54
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. More.
00:28:55
>> Wait, that is that your That's your
00:28:57
That's your go-to.
00:28:57
>> That's your scent. I use this.
00:28:58
>> Yeah. What is that one?
00:28:59
>> What is that?
00:29:00
>> Tom Ford.
00:29:01
>> Tom Ford. Yeah. Um, do you use it?
00:29:04
>> Yes.
00:29:04
>> Okay. All right. Use
00:29:06
>> I come to work so stressed that I'm
00:29:08
>> This is what you need to do.
00:29:09
>> You do need to chill on the stress
00:29:11
thing.
00:29:11
>> Yeah. This is what you This is what I
00:29:12
do.
00:29:12
>> I can't take meds before I come here.
00:29:14
Why?
00:29:15
>> You see me raw. Uh,
00:29:17
>> Andrew will know if I'm high.
00:29:18
>> I will 100% know. Well, you have tricked
00:29:20
me a few times.
00:29:21
>> I just always forget to tell you the
00:29:23
truth.
00:29:24
>> Okay.
00:29:25
>> So, this is what you do. Okay. This is
00:29:27
what I do.
00:29:28
>> Yeah.
00:29:29
>> Spray on the wrist.
00:29:30
>> Always rub
00:29:31
>> and do a rub.
00:29:32
>> Must.
00:29:32
>> Right. I lift up my shirt under
00:29:35
>> one spray underneath.
00:29:36
>> Now, do you do skin or do you do shirt?
00:29:38
>> It's I I I spray upwards and it gets
00:29:41
both.
00:29:42
>> It gets all the way up.
00:29:42
>> Yeah, it gets all the way up. I record
00:29:44
myself doing it to prove it.
00:29:45
>> Okay. And then this is another one I do.
00:29:48
And this is a little gross,
00:29:49
>> but I lift the sack and it hit the
00:29:52
taint.
00:29:52
>> How's that gross? That's per That's
00:29:53
exactly where it's supposed to go.
00:29:54
>> That's where exactly where it's supposed
00:29:55
to go. That's where it's supposed to go.
00:29:56
Right. Because if you know what I mean,
00:29:57
they don't want you you don't want them
00:29:59
to taste it.
00:29:59
>> No.
00:30:00
>> Right. But that you want them to smell
00:30:01
it.
00:30:02
>> Yeah.
00:30:02
>> Right. Right.
00:30:03
>> They want the aura, right?
00:30:04
>> The aura.
00:30:05
>> Yeah. And then um wait, I've got to
00:30:11
>> One on the neck.
00:30:12
>> One on the neck. That was zesty that
00:30:13
last one.
00:30:14
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:30:15
>> And that's it.
00:30:15
>> That's it.
00:30:16
>> What do you do?
00:30:17
>> I do this.
00:30:19
>> Two sprays
00:30:20
>> and that's it.
00:30:20
>> Yeah, that's it.
00:30:21
>> No. No.
00:30:22
>> But that's what I because I don't you
00:30:24
now.
00:30:25
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:30:26
>> I don't want to smell too cra maybe I
00:30:28
should.
00:30:28
>> Spray some in your mouth too because
00:30:29
that thing What the What are you a
00:30:31
dragon?
00:30:33
>> LIKE WHAT ARE you trying to burn down?
00:30:34
>> It's I USE THE NATURAL ONE.
00:30:36
>> I MEAN IT'S SO SMELLY.
00:30:37
>> It's the natural one from Air1 and I
00:30:39
don't
00:30:39
>> YEAH. YEAH. YEAH. YEAH. DO MORE. I don't
00:30:41
eat. I I'll give you the money. What do
00:30:43
you think?
00:30:43
>> Please eat food.
00:30:44
>> You're not eating. Mone has commented
00:30:47
multiple times. Sometimes you'll skip an
00:30:48
entire day of meal.
00:30:49
>> Smells like a vegetarian.
00:30:51
>> I skip city.
00:30:52
>> Don't do that.
00:30:53
>> This is another thing he does on the
00:30:55
road. I didn't eat.
00:30:56
>> Yeah, we haven't eaten all day. You
00:30:57
know, I'll have um four lettucees, one
00:31:00
crouton, and half a shrimp. It's like
00:31:02
order a steak,
00:31:03
>> have a meal.
00:31:04
>> But you said I'm handsome earlier. It's
00:31:05
like that's why like
00:31:07
>> that has nothing to do with the food.
00:31:08
You need to eat for nutrition. Yeah,
00:31:10
it's [ __ ] up your breath.
00:31:13
>> Your body's going to kill you.
00:31:14
>> Yeah, but you can just have smoothies,
00:31:15
too.
00:31:16
>> No, you can't just eat smoothies.
00:31:18
Smoothies. I've been eating uh avocado
00:31:21
toast and smoothies for a whole year and
00:31:23
nothing else.
00:31:23
>> Oh my god.
00:31:24
>> Oh, congratulations.
00:31:25
>> Thank you.
00:31:26
>> And nuggets. You look like [ __ ]
00:31:27
>> Give me the guy. Give me Yeah. And then
00:31:29
McDonald's.
00:31:30
>> Give me the guy that's that does the
00:31:31
cologne tutorials. He does like on on
00:31:33
YouTube. He sprays like he says like a
00:31:34
hundred sprays. That's what he does.
00:31:36
>> Yeah, that's good.
00:31:37
>> They do a 100 sprays.
00:31:38
>> I'd rather have that than whatever he
00:31:39
has. This dragon,
00:31:41
>> this guy.
00:31:42
Here's cologne the right way. Let's see
00:31:44
how cologne Let's see how it's applied
00:31:46
the correct way.
00:31:47
>> How to put on
00:31:49
>> how to put on cologne
00:31:50
>> cuz I don't I mean I guess I don't know
00:31:52
how.
00:31:52
>> All right, here we go. Cuz this guy will
00:31:55
teach us.
00:31:55
>> I already told you
00:31:57
>> the best time to apply your cologne.
00:31:58
>> All right, push pause. Push pause. First
00:32:00
of all,
00:32:00
>> I don't believe it.
00:32:02
>> No, HE'S
00:32:05
>> already turned the video off.
00:32:07
>> It's too much AI. That's why it's AI
00:32:09
>> because I'll like turn that off for a
00:32:12
second.
00:32:12
>> I'll take number two.
00:32:13
>> No, I don't believe. Okay.
00:32:15
>> Sports.
00:32:16
>> Yes. Yesterday morning.
00:32:18
>> Yeah.
00:32:18
>> Mookie Bets.
00:32:19
>> Yeah. Mookie bets
00:32:20
>> and Cam.
00:32:20
>> Yeah. Cam the best.
00:32:21
>> Right. They both smelled
00:32:23
>> unreal.
00:32:24
>> Unreal.
00:32:24
>> So good.
00:32:25
>> Like when you smell Mookie Bets,
00:32:26
>> it's cuz they're famous.
00:32:27
>> No, that's not it, dude. Right. They
00:32:30
just
00:32:31
>> intuitively know where to spray. They do
00:32:34
>> what to spray. They do
00:32:35
>> how to spray. They intuitively know to
00:32:38
put some sort of mint in the mouth.
00:32:40
>> Yep.
00:32:41
>> Not to offend the human beings around
00:32:44
them.
00:32:44
>> I brought that to
00:32:45
>> Right. So,
00:32:46
>> so what I'm say I'm I'm not done
00:32:48
talking.
00:32:48
>> Well, I'm just saying for
00:32:49
>> Yeah. Yeah. So, it's like, you know, so
00:32:51
that they're not intrusive,
00:32:53
>> right?
00:32:54
>> You know what I mean? Like I don't want
00:32:55
an eyebrow burned off, right? Cuz you're
00:32:57
telling me something.
00:32:59
>> You know what I mean? Do you understand
00:33:00
what I'm saying? Like I want you I don't
00:33:03
want to get tan,
00:33:05
you know? I don't want to get an Insta
00:33:06
tan when you're talking to me ON
00:33:12
your breath stinks, dude. You're [ __ ]
00:33:15
terrible,
00:33:16
>> right? Yeah. Yeah. No, you need to tell
00:33:17
your fake pills or DUDE ON ONE.
00:33:20
>> EVERY TIME I'M WITH YOU ON GO HOME. I
00:33:23
LOOK FILIPINO
00:33:25
>> BECAUSE YOUR BREATH IS SO LIKE A DRAGON.
00:33:27
>> He's had time with you. He talked to you
00:33:29
the other day and then he turned to me
00:33:30
and he got breath burn. His whole face
00:33:32
has breath.
00:33:33
>> That's what I'm saying.
00:33:34
>> DUDE, I'M NOT EATING. HEY, LOOK AT THE
00:33:36
KIND OF VAPE HE'S VAPING. I'm not
00:33:38
eating.
00:33:38
>> Yeah. Yeah, I know. It's terrible.
00:33:40
>> What's in there? Rats. What's in there?
00:33:41
>> Yeah.
00:33:42
>> Tobacco.
00:33:43
>> Oh god. I'm sorry.
00:33:44
>> I love you.
00:33:45
>> Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
00:33:46
>> It's the price I pay.
00:33:47
>> It's the price you pay. But please,
00:33:48
we're going on the road Thursday
00:33:50
morning.
00:33:51
>> Yeah.
00:33:51
>> Right. If you are going to eat,
00:33:53
>> if you need Listerine packets,
00:33:55
>> that's what I brought
00:33:56
>> or mints or gum or whatever you want.
00:33:58
I'll give you thousands of dollars cuz
00:34:00
that's what's what it's going to take
00:34:01
>> cuz I use the natural stuff. It doesn't
00:34:03
work.
00:34:03
>> It doesn't matter. And also on top of
00:34:05
it, do the cologne routine and then we
00:34:07
won't have a [ __ ] problem.
00:34:08
>> BUT I'VE GOT A homeless man as my tour
00:34:10
manager.
00:34:10
>> I'll record it.
00:34:11
>> Yeah, I'LL RECORD MY WHAT THE [ __ ] IS
00:34:14
GOING ON?
00:34:14
>> ALL RIGHT, CALM DOWN. YOU'RE ON.
00:34:16
>> All the stage hands are like, "Is he
00:34:17
homeless?" I go, "No, he's not homeless.
00:34:19
HE'S A REAL HE LIVES IN THE HOUSE."
00:34:21
>> You're
00:34:22
>> I'm sorry. I
00:34:23
>> That's been pinned up for years.
00:34:25
>> Yeah.
00:34:25
>> It's How do you say that?
00:34:27
>> It's not. You say it over.
00:34:27
>> How do you say that to
00:34:31
>> How do you say that to somebody? You
00:34:32
know what I mean? You just did.
00:34:33
>> No, no. When you're You know what I
00:34:35
mean? Cuz you haven't I've never seen
00:34:36
you publicly acknowledge his breath.
00:34:38
>> What do you in your mind think?
00:34:40
>> I write about it. I have a blog. I write
00:34:41
about
00:34:42
>> You do morning pages,
00:34:46
the artist way.
00:34:48
>> I have a Substack on it. You guys got to
00:34:50
read it.
00:34:50
>> Yeah. Yeah. You got to read it.
00:34:51
>> Go to morning breath.com/anderantino.
00:35:01
>> All right. Well, any retorts then for
00:35:02
Bob then? Do you have a retort or do you
00:35:03
have
00:35:03
>> No, Bobby usually smells good and he's a
00:35:05
good boss and uh respect is at a
00:35:08
maximum.
00:35:09
>> Oh, smart dude. He's about to get some
00:35:11
checks on the road.
00:35:12
>> Yeah, very smart. Excited. You're really
00:35:14
good.
00:35:14
>> Sold out San Antonio. It's great.
00:35:16
>> Of course. Of course.
00:35:17
>> Yeah. Houston's getting there. And also
00:35:19
Dallas is there already.
00:35:20
>> Doing well. Toronto.
00:35:22
>> Good job from Texas. You're going to rip
00:35:23
up Texas to shreds.
00:35:24
>> Yeah. So, um what I'm saying is is that
00:35:26
you're also being Last thing I want to
00:35:28
say.
00:35:29
>> Oh, yeah.
00:35:30
>> You anything? Yeah. Last thing I want to
00:35:32
say I cuz I I feel like people think
00:35:33
that I complain
00:35:35
>> or I'm being vicious. You know what I
00:35:37
mean? I think you're overcompensating.
00:35:40
Let me say that again.
00:35:40
>> Hit it again.
00:35:41
>> You're overcompensating.
00:35:43
>> Overcompensating. Yeah.
00:35:44
>> Overcompensating.
00:35:45
>> Yeah. For what?
00:35:46
>> It's like cuz last time I said you're
00:35:48
not a good tour man manager, right? But
00:35:51
now you're being extra good where it's
00:35:53
kind of annoying.
00:35:54
>> Oh, you're going too far.
00:35:55
>> Yeah. Today. NO, NO, NO. THIS IS SO
00:35:58
TRUE. NO, NO, NO.
00:35:59
>> Would understand. So, so we we're fly we
00:36:01
fly out Thursday.
00:36:02
>> Yeah.
00:36:03
>> Right. To San Antonio in the morning,
00:36:04
right? We land at 3,
00:36:06
>> right?
00:36:06
>> Right. He's already today going, "What
00:36:09
kind of beef do you want?"
00:36:11
>> What is that? What do you mean?
00:36:12
>> Like he I have to pre-order
00:36:14
meat
00:36:15
>> for our barbecue place.
00:36:16
>> So they don't run out.
00:36:18
>> So that they don't run out?
00:36:19
>> What do you mean?
00:36:20
>> They're going to run They're going to
00:36:20
run out of meat by 3. So when we go at
00:36:22
7:30, they'll hold
00:36:24
>> Did they tell you that?
00:36:24
>> They're They run out of meat. We're at a
00:36:27
barbecue [ __ ] place. Yeah.
00:36:29
>> Excuse me. We'll order the corn,
00:36:32
>> right? And I guess THE CORNBREAD.
00:36:34
>> THERE'S NOTHING GOOD LEFT.
00:36:35
>> HOW DO THEY STEAL YOUR BUSINESS?
00:36:37
>> BECAUSE THEY'RE LIKE A MICHELIN STAR
00:36:39
PLACE.
00:36:40
>> THAT'S NORMAL, YOU
00:36:41
>> IDIOT.
00:36:41
>> THAT'S [ __ ] NORMAL.
00:36:42
>> GOD DAMN, DUDE.
00:36:43
>> YOU'RE JUST CALLING THE barbecue
00:36:45
[ __ ] a barbecue place.
00:36:46
>> Yeah. And they're all millionaires.
00:36:48
>> Yeah. Yeah. YEAH.
00:36:49
>> GOD, YOU'RE SO YOU KNOW, YOU DON'T
00:36:51
YOU'RE overating this.
00:36:53
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:36:54
>> I mean, let's be real. Let's be real for
00:36:56
once in your life. Go in the middle.
00:36:59
>> Maybe he's overcompensated.
00:37:01
>> Ah.
00:37:03
>> Wow. He's got me riled up, dude.
00:37:05
>> How about we do a hygiene uh bump then?
00:37:07
Financially, give him a hygiene bump.
00:37:10
>> Okay. I'm willing to do this. Okay.
00:37:11
>> We'll put aside a little bit of money
00:37:12
for hygiene.
00:37:12
>> I'm willing to do this. Okay.
00:37:14
>> Yeah. Thanks for the hair.
00:37:16
>> Yeah. I give him [ __ ] hair, dog.
00:37:18
>> That's not it. That's not what smells.
00:37:20
>> Oh, yeah. That it will.
00:37:24
>> You You think that's hair from the back
00:37:26
OF HIS HEAD?
00:37:28
NO, DUDE. HE'S NOT GOING TO [ __ ]
00:37:30
SACRIFICE THE back of his head. That's
00:37:32
[ __ ] [ __ ] hair, dude.
00:37:35
>> That's pube hair, dude.
00:37:36
>> I love it.
00:37:36
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:37:38
>> You know what?
00:37:38
>> Imagine that hair. He's going to have
00:37:40
dreadlocks.
00:37:42
>> He's going to have dingleberries up at
00:37:44
the front.
00:37:44
>> Yeah. Yeah. It's going to look bad,
00:37:45
dude.
00:37:46
>> It's going to look so good.
00:37:47
>> Yeah. Not only are you going to look
00:37:48
good,
00:37:49
>> I'm afraid we're going to lose you
00:37:51
>> to modeling.
00:37:52
>> I just think I think you're going to get
00:37:53
a full head of hair.
00:37:55
I think he's going to get a full head of
00:37:57
hair in a year and he's going to think
00:37:58
he's better than us. Do you not think
00:37:59
that's going to happen, Fancy? I think
00:38:00
he's going to be up his own ass. McCone
00:38:02
saying yes. I think you're going to be
00:38:04
Mr. Hot Shot
00:38:05
>> and Mr. Hot Shot's going to go, I'm
00:38:07
late. I don't want to come to the shoot
00:38:08
anymore. I'm doing my own thing.
00:38:10
>> I'm 90 minutes early every time. I'm a
00:38:12
killer.
00:38:12
>> I know, but you don't have any hair yet.
00:38:14
When the hair comes in, it might change
00:38:15
your perspective.
00:38:16
>> Okay,
00:38:16
>> that's interesting.
00:38:17
>> He's two inches taller than me.
00:38:20
>> One 11 one. We It's one or two inches
00:38:22
taller than me, right? with the hair
00:38:24
might be even.
00:38:24
>> Right.
00:38:25
>> Right. He has hunter body.
00:38:28
>> Hunter body.
00:38:29
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:38:30
>> Um the face is pretty good.
00:38:32
>> Face is very good.
00:38:33
>> Right.
00:38:33
>> The eyes are
00:38:34
>> even with hair eyes.
00:38:36
>> Nice car.
00:38:37
>> Nose mouth are very good. Right.
00:38:39
>> The women like the eyes and the face and
00:38:40
the nose.
00:38:41
>> Right. You're right. But also women
00:38:44
don't like medieval [ __ ]
00:38:45
>> They don't like no no no. They don't.
00:38:48
>> They don't like Yeah. You know what I
00:38:49
mean? They don't like, you know, fire
00:38:52
coming out of the mouth.
00:38:55
They don't like, "Is that an ogre?" And
00:38:58
with their senses, you know, their
00:38:59
smells, right? I mean, they don't like
00:39:01
medieval [ __ ]
00:39:02
>> right? They like
00:39:02
>> Yeah. Right. Right. Yeah. Am I under a
00:39:04
bridge?
00:39:05
>> Like, what is going on like a troll? You
00:39:06
know what I mean?
00:39:07
>> So, what I'm saying to you is that it I
00:39:10
think it'll You know what I mean?
00:39:11
>> Even off even out as an average guy.
00:39:14
>> Got it. I see it.
00:39:15
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Go ahead.
00:39:17
>> No, I have nothing.
00:39:17
>> Come at me.
00:39:18
>> I'm not trying to go at you. Come at me,
00:39:19
guy.
00:39:20
>> Bobby Hinchcliff.
00:39:21
>> I'm
00:39:21
>> It's Bobby.
00:39:22
>> Oh, wow.
00:39:24
>> Bobby.
00:39:25
>> Oh, no.
00:39:26
>> Oh, that's Dude, he's [ __ ] going to
00:39:28
piss me off, dude. This guy,
00:39:30
>> you're beginning to [ __ ] piss me off
00:39:31
right now, guys.
00:39:32
>> I love you.
00:39:34
>> I love you.
00:39:34
>> Yeah. First of all, I love you.
00:39:36
>> Yeah.
00:39:36
>> All right. So, I want to say this. I
00:39:38
It's not roasting.
00:39:39
>> That's not That's honest.
00:39:40
>> It's It's It's telling it how it is.
00:39:44
>> Right. Structurally, it's not a roast
00:39:46
joke. It's not as clever as a roast
00:39:48
joke. That's true.
00:39:49
>> Oh,
00:39:50
>> yeah. And and I and I I'm the one that
00:39:51
said it.
00:39:52
>> Yeah.
00:39:52
>> So, I admit it.
00:39:53
>> Okay.
00:39:53
>> Right. Still got laughs.
00:39:56
>> Yeah. Same with the roast the other
00:39:58
night on Netflix.
00:39:58
>> Right. So, when my point is is that it's
00:40:00
not a roast joke because I'm just being
00:40:02
honest.
00:40:03
>> Yeah.
00:40:03
>> Ogre troll dragon's breath. No. Look at
00:40:07
me right now, dude. No. I I I swear to
00:40:10
God on my mother's life
00:40:12
>> that those three things are true.
00:40:14
>> All right. So what my point is
00:40:16
>> Bob if I said one thing
00:40:17
>> as soon I'm talking I'm the host of the
00:40:19
show. Thank you.
00:40:20
>> I'm the yeah yeah yeah. Oh yeah.
00:40:22
>> Yeah.
00:40:23
>> Okay. So anyway, let me finish what I
00:40:24
want to say. Okay.
00:40:26
>> What?
00:40:27
>> Listen to what I have to say. Right.
00:40:30
>> Yeah. How how is that how is that
00:40:32
roasting when I'm just being honest?
00:40:34
>> Was not a roast. I didn't see a roast
00:40:35
come out of that. Exactly.
00:40:36
>> It was you dulging your
00:40:38
>> What are the three things I said
00:40:39
mythologically?
00:40:40
>> Under a bridge. Troll.
00:40:42
>> Yes.
00:40:42
>> Dragon's breath.
00:40:43
>> Yes. and ogre. Yes, exactly. Yeah. Now,
00:40:46
will you defy any of those three things?
00:40:49
>> There is no defiance. There's no
00:40:50
defiance.
00:40:51
>> They're truisms. Correct.
00:40:53
>> Truth. Truth.
00:40:53
>> Truth. Truth. You're a truther.
00:40:55
>> I'm a truther. Correct. Right. Always.
00:40:57
So, case closed. Case. Yeah. Thank you.
00:40:59
>> That's not how like court works. You
00:41:01
can't just
00:41:01
>> It is if you if you own the court, it
00:41:03
does work.
00:41:04
>> Yeah. And do you believe he just said,
00:41:06
"I'm the executive producer." Did you
00:41:07
hear that?
00:41:07
>> Is that what you said
00:41:08
>> to Bobby? Yeah. I've never even said
00:41:10
executive.
00:41:11
>> Are you an executive producer? I mean,
00:41:13
yeah, I guess I I
00:41:15
>> Let me ask you as a
00:41:18
>> Let me ask you. Yeah.
00:41:20
>> As a nonpartisan, right?
00:41:21
>> No. No. You're not partisan. You're my
00:41:23
best friend and we do this together. So,
00:41:24
I'm partisan.
00:41:24
>> We're on the poster.
00:41:25
>> Yeah. I'm very
00:41:26
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're We're the band.
00:41:28
We're the band. We're the band. Okay.
00:41:29
>> I'm on the tour.
00:41:30
>> All right. So, UM THIS GUY DO IT.
00:41:34
>> You make the poster. I take pictures.
00:41:37
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, let me ask
00:41:38
you as my business partner and as the
00:41:41
stars of the show,
00:41:42
>> correct? Okay. Um, is he executive
00:41:44
PRODUCER
00:41:49
>> SLASHBOOKER? Let me think.
00:41:50
>> Yeah, think about it.
00:41:52
>> H
00:41:53
>> Wait, Andrew, I can just be producer.
00:41:56
>> Oh, so you're you're you don't even want
00:41:58
the title. I was going to give to you,
00:41:59
but I guess no. So, just producer then?
00:42:00
>> Yeah.
00:42:01
>> Associate.
00:42:02
>> AP.
00:42:02
>> Not associate. No. No.
00:42:03
>> What's Mone then?
00:42:05
>> He's assistant.
00:42:06
>> He's exactly what Carlos is.
00:42:09
>> Carlos?
00:42:10
>> No way.
00:42:11
Blue. You guys, I'm 54 years old. I'm
00:42:14
about to turn 55.
00:42:15
>> Congratulations.
00:42:15
>> Yeah. I'm about to die. But my point is
00:42:17
I'm still sexually active. And what I do
00:42:20
is I have a girlfriend now as well.
00:42:21
>> Yes, you do.
00:42:22
>> Yeah. And still I use Bluetooth. I'll
00:42:24
tell you why.
00:42:25
>> It's easy.
00:42:26
>> It's easy.
00:42:27
>> Cuz as you get older, you mean you have
00:42:28
ED?
00:42:29
>> You do.
00:42:30
>> Erectile dysfunction is what they call
00:42:31
it.
00:42:32
>> And that's not a big deal. Millions and
00:42:33
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00:42:34
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00:42:36
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00:42:38
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00:42:39
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00:42:40
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00:42:55
banging, less thinking, more dinking.
00:42:58
Seriously, who wrote this? It's simple.
00:43:00
Chew it and do it.
00:43:02
>> Chew it and do it is all you need to
00:43:03
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00:43:31
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00:43:32
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00:43:35
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00:43:37
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00:44:52
>> No, you're trying to break me and it
00:44:54
just won't work cuz you've been trying
00:44:55
for 20 years.
00:44:57
>> I feel like he sounds like a broken man.
00:45:01
>> Look at me right now.
00:45:02
>> Such pro. Don't talk, please. Cuz the
00:45:04
hosts are talking.
00:45:05
>> Okay. Okay. At all. Look at me right
00:45:07
now.
00:45:07
>> Yeah.
00:45:08
>> Does that sound like a broken little
00:45:09
bit?
00:45:10
>> No.
00:45:14
>> I want more love.
00:45:15
>> I do love him. He's my tour manager. I
00:45:18
will not fire him. He will be my tour
00:45:20
manager to the end of my tour.
00:45:21
>> What started this, do you think?
00:45:22
>> How did this kick off?
00:45:24
>> There was an energy transfer that
00:45:25
happened. I
00:45:26
>> I came in today because my hands were
00:45:28
cramping.
00:45:28
>> Yeah.
00:45:29
>> Right.
00:45:29
>> Okay.
00:45:30
>> My hands were cramping and they're still
00:45:31
cramping. Okay.
00:45:33
>> Um I had a miracle about the eye thing.
00:45:35
But then that lady said, you mean not
00:45:37
Asian.
00:45:38
>> That was rude.
00:45:38
>> And so I was in this kind of mixed move.
00:45:40
Also, when I was driving here, I was
00:45:42
going, I have nothing to talk about.
00:45:43
>> Oh, it's the barbecue. He's mad that I
00:45:45
asked him to pre-order barbecue. I do
00:45:47
feel like the pre-order ask was what
00:45:48
started this whole role.
00:45:50
>> Yeah. And I'm just order for him is what
00:45:52
I'll end up doing.
00:45:54
>> Okay.
00:45:55
>> I want you to be comfortable.
00:45:56
>> Being on tour with like Nirvana would be
00:45:57
easier.
00:45:59
>> Like it was so much calmer in the early
00:46:01
90s with them. I bet
00:46:03
>> it's crazier. Like Michael Michael
00:46:05
Jackson and his monkey or something.
00:46:08
Like it's insane.
00:46:09
>> Insane.
00:46:10
>> So you're saying he's a hard guy to work
00:46:12
with? I think there are levels of
00:46:15
difficulty and he's on one of the higher
00:46:17
ones.
00:46:18
>> Really?
00:46:18
>> Yeah. You have to really like
00:46:19
>> really crazy.
00:46:20
>> Wow.
00:46:21
>> Yeah.
00:46:21
>> Yeah.
00:46:22
>> Now, the hard and the hardest part about
00:46:23
>> Let's Let's go back then.
00:46:24
>> Oh, he's like, "Oh, I'm a man of the
00:46:26
people. That makes me easy to
00:46:27
>> Okay, let's let's if you want to get
00:46:29
real, let's get real."
00:46:30
>> Oh, we haven't been real this whole
00:46:32
>> Oh, no. Because I was kidding about
00:46:33
that. You don't smoke.
00:46:34
>> That's such gaslighting.
00:46:37
>> You're a [ __ ] gaser.
00:46:39
>> I did that for comedy reasons. It's a
00:46:41
comedy podcast. Yeah. Ogres do not smell
00:46:42
like
00:46:43
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:46:43
>> Yeah. Dragons don't exist.
00:46:45
>> Yeah. Yeah. Dragons don't exist.
00:46:46
>> These are actually all mythological
00:46:47
creatures.
00:46:48
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:46:49
>> Yeah. Cherubs, mermaids, all fake. Such
00:46:53
a gas.
00:46:53
>> Yeah. That's That's not gaslighting.
00:46:55
That's a trueism.
00:46:56
>> There is no dragons.
00:46:57
>> There is no dragons. Is a truth.
00:46:58
>> Yeah. There's no
00:46:59
>> is the truth.
00:47:00
>> That's the truth. Truth, right?
00:47:01
>> So, take it back.
00:47:02
>> There trolls. There are some
00:47:04
mythological evidence.
00:47:06
>> Yeah. Give or take.
00:47:06
>> Give or take. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But
00:47:08
anyway, I was in justest saying these
00:47:10
things for comedy purposes at one point
00:47:13
or another. You took it personally.
00:47:15
>> There was a personal take. I called you
00:47:17
those names.
00:47:17
>> Yeah. Yeah. And then you snapped.
00:47:20
>> You got angry.
00:47:20
>> Snap. If I snapped, Andrew would legit
00:47:23
be like, "Get the [ __ ] out of here."
00:47:24
>> No, no, no. I would let you have your
00:47:25
peace. If you want to say your piece,
00:47:26
you can say your piece.
00:47:27
>> That's how you lose your job. I
00:47:29
>> No, no, no. You can't lose your job. I
00:47:31
was just doing it in just Of course you
00:47:32
don't breath a dragon.
00:47:35
>> You can't even say it.
00:47:36
>> Yeah. Yeah. and know all that stuff,
00:47:38
right?
00:47:39
>> I was just giving, you know, light hints
00:47:41
of maybe, you know, I mean, suggestions.
00:47:43
>> Small stuff.
00:47:43
>> Yeah, small stuff. And you took it
00:47:45
personally.
00:47:46
>> I wish that as my friend, you would just
00:47:48
tell me the truth and that you were
00:47:49
trying to break it.
00:47:49
>> Would you rather him tell you the truth,
00:47:50
not on the air?
00:47:52
>> No, on the air.
00:47:53
>> You want it on the air?
00:47:53
>> You want on the air?
00:47:54
>> Cuz it's because you wanted
00:47:55
>> Okay, I will tell you the truth on the
00:47:57
air then. Right. You have dragon's
00:47:59
breath.
00:48:02
>> All right. You smell like an ogre and a
00:48:03
troll.
00:48:04
>> Yeah. and all the things I I can't
00:48:06
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:48:08
>> back. Yeah. Yeah.
00:48:08
>> You can fight back.
00:48:09
>> You can fight back.
00:48:10
>> No.
00:48:10
>> So, let me ask you. I'm difficult on the
00:48:12
road. I'm like like Michael Jackson and
00:48:14
the bubbles or whatever you want.
00:48:15
>> He said you were like bubbles.
00:48:17
>> So, what's my writer?
00:48:19
>> Um,
00:48:20
Smart Water.
00:48:21
>> No, no, it's not. It's not Smart Water.
00:48:24
>> Sugar-free Red Bull.
00:48:25
>> I have two I have two things on my
00:48:27
writer.
00:48:28
>> Okay.
00:48:28
>> All right. Tell me what they are.
00:48:30
>> Water.
00:48:30
>> Yeah.
00:48:31
>> And Sugar-free Red Bull.
00:48:32
>> I just said smart water and sugar. Those
00:48:34
are the only two.
00:48:35
>> Yeah.
00:48:35
>> What is Michael Jackson's writer?
00:48:37
>> Oh, it's like all like the nine-year-old
00:48:39
boy.
00:48:40
>> Yeah. I mean, no, don't say that. No,
00:48:42
but I'm just saying.
00:48:42
>> Okay. That is not his writer.
00:48:43
>> I mean, but what's you know what I mean?
00:48:45
You two's writer.
00:48:46
>> It's not about the writer.
00:48:47
>> Yes, it is. It's about what the tour
00:48:49
manager has to do
00:48:51
>> to make the artist happy. Mine's basic.
00:48:53
I want a stool on stage. Yep.
00:48:55
>> Right. I want a meal.
00:48:57
>> Yeah.
00:48:57
>> Right. I want to pay my openers.
00:48:59
>> Mhm.
00:49:00
>> And and I also want Red Bull and water.
00:49:02
That's it.
00:49:02
>> That's it. I don't want to STIR
00:49:04
ANYTHING, BUT
00:49:06
>> ALL RIGHT. WAR.
00:49:07
>> IT SOUNDS LIKE IT'S COMING.
00:49:08
>> He actually said that Bobby is so cool
00:49:11
on the road that who you know he thinks
00:49:14
Andrew is really really difficult.
00:49:16
>> I And you know that you've said that to
00:49:18
me before.
00:49:19
>> No, y'all are very different. And
00:49:20
answer.
00:49:21
>> You've said that to me before.
00:49:23
>> I would never.
00:49:24
>> Yes, you have.
00:49:24
>> I would literally. No, I would literally
00:49:26
NEVER SAY THAT BECAUSE YOU'RE SUCH A
00:49:28
[ __ ] RAT.
00:49:29
>> YOU'RE SUCH A RAT THAT I WOULD NEVER SAY
00:49:31
THAT. YOU'RE SAYING THIS NOW BECAUSE YOU
00:49:34
KNOW THE [ __ ] FIRE.
00:49:35
>> THAT'S WHY I WOULD NEVER SAY IT BECAUSE
00:49:37
YOU'RE SUCH A RAT.
00:49:38
>> YOU THINK I'M the rat?
00:49:40
>> He's the rat.
00:49:40
>> I WOULD NEVER CALL if
00:49:43
>> I would never call.
00:49:44
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:49:47
>> Andrew. Look at me right now. Be quiet.
00:49:50
>> I call it for him.
00:49:51
>> All right. Listen to me right now. Okay.
00:49:53
>> You have to be more on top of things.
00:49:54
>> Yeah. I'm We're good.
00:49:57
>> No, I'm not worried about you and me.
00:49:58
I'm worried about me and Andrew.
00:49:59
>> I know. I understand. It's good. It's
00:50:01
real good.
00:50:01
>> No, it's not.
00:50:02
>> Yeah, it's good. It's also my
00:50:03
>> Yeah. Yeah, it's good. You know what I
00:50:05
mean? It's good. Let me look at my my
00:50:07
friend here.
00:50:07
>> Yeah.
00:50:08
>> Hello.
00:50:08
>> Hi, man.
00:50:09
>> Yeah. Don't take it personally.
00:50:10
>> Hit me.
00:50:11
>> Okay. Um,
00:50:12
>> you're ready for a [ __ ] lie.
00:50:16
>> Okay. Let's make play play fair. Fair.
00:50:19
>> Play fair.
00:50:20
>> What? What Andreas said.
00:50:22
>> Mhm.
00:50:23
>> What did he say?
00:50:24
>> That I'm more difficult on the road than
00:50:25
you.
00:50:26
>> Okay. Did I say that?
00:50:28
>> You did not. No. Those facts are facts.
00:50:31
>> Fancy said that. Said that. Carlos said
00:50:34
that.
00:50:35
>> Yeah.
00:50:36
>> Behind my back.
00:50:37
>> I've never
00:50:37
>> Yeah. Yeah. So, so
00:50:39
>> listen here, Dragon Boy.
00:50:41
>> I have never fought music ever.
00:50:44
>> So, it's very interesting to me. You
00:50:45
know what I mean? I'm getting the heat
00:50:47
because I'm the easier target than he
00:50:50
is.
00:50:50
>> Welcome to my life. It's like we're
00:50:52
mirror images.
00:50:53
>> I I I know. So, what I'm saying is that
00:50:55
you're he's scarier than I am. Yeah. So,
00:50:58
you have to stay on top of it with him.
00:51:00
>> Yeah. Okay. So, you treat me shittier.
00:51:03
You do because you're afraid of him.
00:51:06
>> This is
00:51:07
>> Let's be real. Let's be real for once.
00:51:09
>> That's not true. I'm not frustrated with
00:51:11
Andrew in the slightest. And it's not
00:51:12
redirected to you. That's insane. I like
00:51:15
working with Andrew.
00:51:18
>> Not anymore.
00:51:22
>> Hey, brother. We're going to be needing
00:51:23
to look for a new tour manager as the
00:51:25
run I have right now is a dragon breath
00:51:30
troll ghoul.
00:51:33
Please,
00:51:34
>> I'm calling mine live.
00:51:36
>> Matt,
00:51:36
>> no. Abby,
00:51:37
>> I'm kidding. I It was I didn't text.
00:51:39
>> I'm doing for real.
00:51:40
>> I would never do that.
00:51:42
>> Carlos is obviously
00:51:44
>> Andre, please.
00:51:51
Hi, it's Bob.
00:51:53
>> Bob.
00:51:55
>> Yeah, one of your clients. Bob Lee.
00:51:58
>> What's up?
00:51:59
>> What's up? Um, I just want to let you
00:52:00
know um you're on Bad Friends right now.
00:52:05
>> I am?
00:52:06
>> Yeah, but don't you're not going to say
00:52:07
anything bad. I'm just going to let you
00:52:08
I'm going to say I'll do all the talking
00:52:10
and then you just and then I'm going to
00:52:11
hang out.
00:52:13
>> Do they hear me this part?
00:52:14
>> Yeah, they're hearing you talk. Yes, but
00:52:17
you don't have to Yeah, but you don't
00:52:18
have to talk anymore. Does she know what
00:52:20
a podcast is?
00:52:23
>> Yeah. Okay. All right. All right. So,
00:52:25
here's here's All right.
00:52:26
>> Um, my tour manager has dragon's breath.
00:52:29
Don't say anything. All right. Smells
00:52:30
like a troll in an ogre. Right. If I
00:52:33
looked at my um my writer, none of the
00:52:35
[ __ ] that's in my dressing room is in
00:52:37
like the fruit play.
00:52:38
>> Not true, Abby.
00:52:39
>> Yeah. Yeah. Don't
00:52:41
>> And I want to let you know, but this
00:52:42
tour is fine, but the next tour I do,
00:52:44
he's out. Okay.
00:52:47
>> I love him. Thank you.
00:52:49
>> Okay. Bye.
00:52:52
>> There's always
00:52:53
>> She's fired. She's fired.
00:52:54
>> She's fired.
00:52:55
>> I will say this.
00:52:56
>> Yes.
00:52:57
>> The fact that you went behind my back.
00:52:59
>> It's insane. That
00:53:00
>> and told Fancy. And McCone. Did he tell
00:53:02
you?
00:53:03
>> Did he tell you? Mone didn't hear this.
00:53:06
>> No. McCon
00:53:09
closer to the mic.
00:53:09
>> McCone, have you ever tour managed?
00:53:12
>> Uh, no. But I've seen a lot of
00:53:14
>> Well, you're about to
00:53:16
mone, you've told me this before. Okay.
00:53:18
And I want you to be on on the record,
00:53:20
right? Who's scarier, Andrew or I?
00:53:23
>> Andrew. Yeah.
00:53:24
>> Okay. Good.
00:53:25
>> That's good. That's the way I
00:53:26
>> All right. But you have said that
00:53:27
before.
00:53:28
>> But fear doesn't make me talk [ __ ] about
00:53:30
him.
00:53:31
>> Or does it?
00:53:32
>> It does. Or or
00:53:33
>> No, I'm so much I don't tell you
00:53:36
anything, Bob, cuz you would tell
00:53:37
everyone my business.
00:53:39
>> Oh, I'm a gossiper. Interesting. I'm a
00:53:42
gossiper. I'm a witch.
00:53:43
>> Yeah, you are.
00:53:44
>> Salem's rich witch trial. Huh? You're
00:53:47
>> Wow.
00:53:48
>> Well, I'm You know what's unfortunate,
00:53:49
Carlos? I will be honest with you right
00:53:50
now.
00:53:51
>> We love you.
00:53:52
>> No, not yet.
00:53:54
>> Okay.
00:53:55
>> I thought, man, I make it real easy on
00:53:58
Carlos. I don't ask for much, but the
00:54:00
simple things.
00:54:01
>> You don't.
00:54:02
>> I just want water and popcorn backstage
00:54:04
before I go on.
00:54:05
>> And you always have it.
00:54:06
>> It's crazy.
00:54:07
>> And I just think I don't ever call you
00:54:09
and bug you and say, "Give me this, give
00:54:10
me that, I need, I need this, I need
00:54:12
that."
00:54:12
>> Yeah.
00:54:14
And
00:54:14
>> and also
00:54:15
>> for you to go behind my back
00:54:17
>> y
00:54:17
>> and tell fancy I'm difficult to deal
00:54:20
with on the road breaks my heart
00:54:23
>> and quite frankly
00:54:24
>> praise the Lord.
00:54:25
>> I think I think that's it for us on the
00:54:27
road.
00:54:28
>> This is sad that we're going to end over
00:54:30
lies from our
00:54:31
>> Who's lying? FY lying.
00:54:32
>> I think Fancy is having a hallucination
00:54:34
from his one of his many colds.
00:54:36
>> Are you lying?
00:54:37
>> Yes.
00:54:37
>> It's a fever dream.
00:54:38
>> I'm lying.
00:54:38
>> No, you're lying about lying now. So now
00:54:40
there's layers of lies. So now I can't
00:54:42
believe anybody in the booth.
00:54:43
>> Yeah.
00:54:44
>> So now we have a booth full of liars.
00:54:46
>> They've always have been liars.
00:54:47
>> Who's to believe now?
00:54:48
>> No one.
00:54:49
>> No. You're in no one to believe.
00:54:50
>> So you are the only person I can
00:54:51
believe. So we have we have I can't
00:54:52
believe you. Don't believe me either.
00:54:54
>> Okay. Well,
00:54:54
>> yeah. Yeah. This is Game of Thrones.
00:54:56
>> Oh no.
00:54:57
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:54:57
>> And whom is the dragon?
00:54:59
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right there. I'm Kesi.
00:55:02
>> You know, for the record, I defended
00:55:03
you. I don't think you have bad breath.
00:55:05
And I don't think you smell bad. Thank
00:55:06
you, brother.
00:55:06
>> Yeah. I don't either. It was just a
00:55:08
joke.
00:55:10
lies.
00:55:11
>> The room full of lies.
00:55:13
>> Yeah. Yeah. I'm a liar as well.
00:55:14
>> Gosh, how do we get away from this?
00:55:16
>> I don't know.
00:55:17
>> Well, let me tell you something though.
00:55:18
In all honesty, all jokes aside,
00:55:19
>> all jokes aside,
00:55:20
>> I love you dearly, Carlos.
00:55:21
>> I do, too.
00:55:22
>> But I will not be touring with you in
00:55:23
the future.
00:55:23
>> He got a good beating today.
00:55:25
>> Mhm.
00:55:26
>> I took it like a like a
00:55:27
>> You know what the worst part of all this
00:55:28
is?
00:55:29
>> What is it?
00:55:30
>> This is like an ex that we have a kid
00:55:33
with.
00:55:34
>> We still have to see these people.
00:55:36
>> What do you mean? You and I had a baby.
00:55:39
Yes. This show is our baby.
00:55:40
>> Yeah. And that's our child.
00:55:42
>> No, no, no. That's that's that's the
00:55:43
that's our ex. These people are these
00:55:45
are ex Yeah. Yeah.
00:55:47
>> And now we have to see them because to
00:55:48
create to keep the baby happy, we have
00:55:50
to see our exes,
00:55:51
>> right? That's exactly what it is.
00:55:53
>> And they're all of our exes.
00:55:54
>> Yeah. I do that on Tiger Belly.
00:56:05
>> A grand slam.
00:56:06
>> A literal grand slam.
00:56:07
>> Yeah. And that's what it is over here.
00:56:09
>> Yeah.
00:56:11
>> I'm disappointed.
00:56:12
>> I'm disappointed, too. If you The way
00:56:13
you framed it
00:56:15
>> makes me disappointed. But I guess, you
00:56:17
know,
00:56:17
>> I guess that's the way it is.
00:56:18
>> The panic. Remember, what did I say
00:56:20
before? I went in hot, right?
00:56:22
>> Mhm.
00:56:23
>> And what did I say? When I walk through
00:56:25
the store,
00:56:26
>> you have nothing to talk about.
00:56:27
>> Exactly. But you know what that really
00:56:29
means?
00:56:30
>> I got something to say.
00:56:31
>> I have to see my ex.
00:56:33
>> Yeah.
00:56:33
>> Yeah.
00:56:34
>> Toxic behavior.
00:56:35
>> Yeah. Yeah. I have to see my ex and I
00:56:36
have to pretend everything's, you know,
00:56:38
>> cool. You know what I mean?
00:56:39
>> Yeah.
00:56:40
>> So, it's like um
00:56:42
>> be cooler.
00:56:43
>> Be cooler.
00:56:44
>> That's great advice.
00:56:45
>> Yeah, it's good advice. Right.
00:56:46
>> Thank you, man.
00:56:47
>> Yeah.
00:56:48
>> And when you walk and when you walk out
00:56:49
of the door, right, don't go just to
00:56:51
Andrew, tell me some business.
00:56:53
>> Okay.
00:56:53
>> Lie to me.
00:56:55
I I I just want to say this, okay?
00:56:57
>> Yeah.
00:56:57
>> And this is the truth of the matter.
00:56:59
>> You're a great boss, man. I love you.
00:57:00
>> Okay. Okay. This is the truth of the
00:57:02
matter. Okay. I'm going to I'm be honest
00:57:03
with you. didn't tell me I'm a good
00:57:04
boss.
00:57:05
>> Tell Andrew He didn't say that.
00:57:08
>> Thank you.
00:57:08
>> He loves you.
00:57:09
>> Thank you.
00:57:11
>> Fancy.
00:57:12
>> He didn't say that.
00:57:13
>> Say you swear on your daughter's life.
00:57:14
He didn't say that.
00:57:16
>> SAY
00:57:19
>> you swear on your daughter's life.
00:57:20
>> On your daughter's life.
00:57:21
>> Say it.
00:57:24
>> No. No. No. Don't.
00:57:25
>> No. No. No. Don't. You can't. What
00:57:27
you're saying, even if you're crossing
00:57:28
your little toes and your fingers and
00:57:30
you're thinking something else, right?
00:57:32
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is true, right?
00:57:35
Say on your daughter's life that he
00:57:37
didn't say that.
00:57:38
>> He didn't.
00:57:40
>> On your on my daughter's life. Say that.
00:57:43
Say he didn't say that on my daughter's
00:57:45
life.
00:57:45
>> He didn't say that on my daughter's
00:57:47
life. Let's go.
00:57:49
>> Okay.
00:57:51
>> Okay.
00:57:51
>> You get a phone call right now. Your
00:57:53
wife is like, "She's dead."
00:57:54
>> Yeah.
00:57:55
>> I I can't believe you would let your
00:57:58
daughter die.
00:58:01
>> Crazy.
00:58:03
So crazy
00:58:04
>> for just the show.
00:58:04
>> Yeah, just for the show. Yeah,
00:58:06
>> that's to give the show.
00:58:08
>> Wow.
00:58:08
>> Call the hospital.
00:58:09
>> Wow. Wow.
00:58:10
>> Call the hospital right now.
00:58:11
>> Call the hospital. Yeah.
00:58:12
>> Um I believe here's the deal. Here's the
00:58:15
deal.
00:58:15
>> There's a lot of bits. We're doing
00:58:16
>> We're lot doing a lot of bits. I was
00:58:17
ripping on you and and here's the honest
00:58:19
truth.
00:58:21
Even with my notoriety
00:58:24
and some of my income, right, I still
00:58:26
don't do better than you when it comes
00:58:28
to the ladies. And historically, I
00:58:31
haven't. Mhm.
00:58:32
>> So maybe it's a little bit my of my
00:58:34
>> Yeah. So
00:58:36
>> you still have dragon's breath.
00:58:40
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:58:41
>> I'm doing the camera.
00:58:42
>> You still have that. You still have all
00:58:43
those things. But still historically
00:58:46
you've always done better than me when
00:58:48
it comes to the attraction of the
00:58:49
opposite sex. So but dragons breath ogre
00:58:53
troll. Thank you for being a bad friend.
00:59:03
Woo!
00:59:08
Woo!
00:59:13
Woo!
