00:00:00
You two are bad friends. Who are these two
idiots? A white dude and an Asian dude. You
00:00:06
two are disgusting. Oh, you two are something.
We're bad friends. Oh, that's a tight shirt.
00:00:13
That's cool. Is that new? No, I've had it.
Oh, I like that Fleetwood Mac. Name your
00:00:17
favorite Fleetwood Mac song. Go. Um, love that.
That's my favorite kind of stuff right there,
00:00:22
dude. I hate being put on the spot. I know. I
hate it. How'd you do last night? you were in
00:00:28
a real bad mood last night for some reason. I
said hello to you in the hallway. I'll tell you
00:00:31
why. And you shuffled me off as if we haven't been
friends for 15 years. I literally was like, "Hey,
00:00:36
man." And he goes, "Hey, I don't even want
to be here." Like a little I was like, "What
00:00:40
does that have to do with me?" Cuz right before
you don't know what happened right before Well,
00:00:43
tell me. This guy comes up to me and goes, "Hey."
I go, "What's up?" He's like, "What's You don't
00:00:49
remember me?" Oh. And I'm like, "No." He's like,
"208, dude." And I go, "What was that? Mr. 2018?"
00:00:59
Yeah, Mr. 2008. I go, "What?" He goes, "Second
show Saturday night. Bria, dude, I was with the
00:01:06
funny hat and the weird shoes. You made fun like
that kind of thing." Mhm. Like I'm supposed to go,
00:01:11
"Oh, yeah. You didn't remember him?" No, I didn't
remember him, dude. Well, he's here now. Come on
00:01:17
in, Marcus. Do you ever get that? No. Where people
are like, "You don't remember me?" Yeah. I mean,
00:01:23
I've had people that say that. Not not people in
the crowd, but people say, "Do you not remember
00:01:26
me?" And it's the meanest, rudest thing you can
say. I've had someone go, "You don't remember me,
00:01:31
do you?" And you're like, "Okay, well that's what
do you want me to do here?" I know. How do you
00:01:36
want me to get out of this? The guy yesterday
said, "Uh, sometimes he happens all the time."
00:01:41
I love Look here. Can we I love fans. I want to
say hi to everybody. I love them. But also say
00:01:46
hi in not the weirdest way possible, right? A guy
literally yesterday goes, "Am I mistaken or are
00:01:52
you a podcaster? How would you like me to respond?
He was mistaken. He was mistaken. I go, "I don't
00:01:58
know, buddy. I don't know what else to say." And
then I feel weird. And I get in the car and I go,
00:02:02
"What was that?" Yeah. But what was I supposed to
do? Go. Yes. It's me, the podcaster. Yeah. In a
00:02:08
long line at a checkout at at a hardware store. I
feel I What do you want me to say? Just say yes. I
00:02:15
Yes. And then what? Yeah, I know. Then it's weird.
Then he's like, "Okay." Mhm. And then just waiting
00:02:23
with my with my stuff. It just just say hi. Just
say or or when they when they're joking too.
00:02:28
I don't like it. Well, they get you get it way
worse. Ken Jung, what's up? You know what I mean?
00:02:33
And they then like five minutes. Just kidding,
bro. I hope I didn't cross a line. It's like it
00:02:39
wasn't funny. I'm regretting a little bit putting
up the post for your mom's birthday because man,
00:02:44
am I giving everyone resonance to go I'm I'm
doing it again. I'm fueling the fire. It's It's
00:02:49
my special. It's in my special. I know. Yeah. And
you know what? Yeah. Very cool. You're cool. No.
00:02:55
No. I think it's very cool. You're cool. Boy
oh boy. Am I excited to see this special when
00:02:58
the first cut comes out? I saw it already. I Has
anybody else seen it? No, I saw it. You better
00:03:03
let me see it. I said it's upstairs. I know. They
They're literally here. They edited my special,
00:03:07
too. Upstairs. I was It It was the first time
where I sat down and I watched the whole thing.
00:03:13
And guess what? Fantastic. Not fantastic, but
um it was um serviceable. Come on, shut up. No,
00:03:22
serviceable is good. I bet it's great. No, I I
can't tell if it's great, but I'm watching going,
00:03:26
"Oh, I I do seem like a standup." You're you're a
30-year professional. I I understand that, but I,
00:03:33
you know, I'm watching it's like, "Oh, that was
okay. That was good." You know, it's more than
00:03:37
okay. It's better than okay. It's serviceable is
a good word, though. I should That should be my
00:03:40
next special. Serviceable. Yeah. Standup. Here
it is. I did. I did some. Yeah. Yeah. Why not?
00:03:46
Yeah. If I do if I do one in my life, I it's like
that's a good one to have out there. Yeah. Look
00:03:52
at that. Fulfilling its function adequately,
usable. That's serviceable. Functionable and
00:03:55
durable rather than attractive. That's also
true. Yeah. Neither of us are that attractive,
00:03:59
but we are functional and durable. Yeah. I I
don't think I'm ever going to do one again. I
00:04:03
thought about that the other night. Aristotle was
like, "What's going on?" I'm like, "I'm doing all
00:04:06
sort new stuff lately." You crush every time.
Even, you know, you're the weirdest guy because
00:04:10
it's like you'll do a special and then like [ __ ]
two months later you already have a new 15. Yeah,
00:04:16
I know. But I but it's, you know, but I don't
crushing crushing. Last night you were crushing
00:04:20
the new 15. I don't think I'll ever do another
special again. I really believe that. I think I'm
00:04:24
done doing them. I think they're fun, but I'm like
I I think something else is going to happen in the
00:04:28
world of standup. Like I think something is on the
move. AI. Well, I I I I that's what I call it. I
00:04:38
My cousin told me the other night about they had
a meeting. He works at Apple. You know, my cousin,
00:04:43
he said they had a meeting about that Tom Cruz
Brad Pitt. They had a they had an internal meeting
00:04:49
about the detriment of that to the business. Wow.
Because it went crazy viral. We you know that
00:04:54
scene we showed of the Brad Pitt Yeah. I've been
watching it. People are panicked about it because
00:04:59
it's so good and so real. People are now like
freaking out. So internally they're like what's
00:05:04
going on? What are we going to how are we going
to stop this? Because people at home are going to
00:05:07
start just making full films using AI. Yeah. They
were saying that Netflix the future of Netflix
00:05:13
someone was imagining you just prompt it and then
it gives you the movie that you just prompted.
00:05:17
And let me tell you something. We've been joking
about that for a long time. Netflix is 100% going
00:05:20
to do that. There's Why would they not? I mean I
don't like it, but what's going to stop them? You
00:05:24
talk quick. Yeah. It's a little too quick for me.
Had a couple cups of coffee. I was throwing the
00:05:29
bottle at the dog and had a couple cups of coffee.
That's what I said. And then I spilled coffee all
00:05:32
over my pants. You're an You should have been an
auctioneer. And my dog laughed at me. I spilled
00:05:35
coffee all over my pants when I was throwing the
ball this morning. And she went, you know, when
00:05:40
the dog when they do some human [ __ ] and you're
like, I don't laugh. That's not funny. Yeah. And
00:05:44
the dog was like, just throw the ball, man. Yeah.
Yeah. Just throw the [ __ ] ball. Yeah. Your dog's
00:05:49
the best. Throwing the I ran into uh another dog
this morning. A similar looking dog, but a white
00:05:55
version. I have I have a black dog. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. As you know. Yeah. Uh, Jet Black. Yeah,
00:06:01
that's his name. Jet Black. In the white version,
did you have like a gold chain? Like he's a
00:06:06
white. That's what my black dog said. He was
appropriating my walk. Yeah, cuz the dog was
00:06:10
walking with kind of like a little swagger. Yeah,
that's what I'm saying. My dog did not like that.
00:06:14
Yeah, cuz your dog is black but suburban. Suburban
black. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my dog is Hello,
00:06:22
Bobby. Good to see you. You would think they would
be like, "What's up?" But it's not. Hello, Robert.
00:06:27
Yeah. Yeah. He's very drink. Yeah, it's a girl.
But yeah, she she is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 2020.
00:06:32
She went to Brown University. She went to black
university. It's enough of this. It's enough. You
00:06:38
know what I almost went to go see last night?
Good luck, have fun, don't die. Or have fun,
00:06:42
good luck, don't die. Cuz I saw the trailer and I
thought, "This looks really good." Except it does
00:06:48
look amazing. Except every single trailer now or
every new movie is End of the World. So here's
00:06:55
what I propose to Bobby Lee. Yes. Why? This is
all kind of dystopian, scary, the world is over
00:07:00
[ __ ] Like pluribus, all Why don't we make a
show where we save the world, it's not ending,
00:07:06
we fix it. Cuz these are kind of like doomsday
film. Everything is a doomsday film. Yeah.
00:07:12
What's a doomsday film? Let's do Doomsday with us
where we're Well, there's Doom. Is there Doomsday
00:07:17
happening in the movie and we reverse it or I
think it's the end. I So these movies are like the
00:07:22
beginning of Doomsday. I think that Doomsday is
over. It's already happened and we fix the world.
00:07:27
We fix it. Yeah. Like we go through the steps to
fix the world. Don't you think that's a good idea?
00:07:31
That's really good. Because all these Doomsday
films make me sad. Like this looks awesome, but
00:07:35
man does it look sad. Yeah. Like he's come from
the future and he's telling all of us it's over.
00:07:41
So it's about to happen. That's the trailer. And
I was like, why can't it just be it's all over,
00:07:46
everything is bad, but Bobby Lee and Andrew
Santino have to fix it. Okay, good. Don't you
00:07:50
like that? I like that a lot. Boomsday film. Bobby
Lee and Santine. Let's do a movie where um all of
00:07:54
a sudden this big thick guy from the [ __ ] future
comes. Chappelle Lacy. Yeah, like Chappelle Lacy,
00:07:59
but he's sort of like an AI killing machine.
Oh, that makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. And then
00:08:05
what happens is uh we have a friend named Sarah
Connor. I'm listening. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty good,
00:08:13
right? So far. Yeah. It's a good name. That's a
really really catchy name. What? Sarah Connor.
00:08:17
Yeah. Really good. But she's not the android
machine killing machine. Is she human? Yes. Wow.
00:08:25
Yeah. Yeah. Okay. And he goes, he has to say, I'll
be back all the time. He has to say all the Yeah.
00:08:31
That's his catchphrase. Yeah. Yeah. I'll be back
all the time. Really good, Bob. Yeah. Thank you
00:08:34
so much. You should write this down. Yeah. Wasn't
the original catchphrase, I will be right back.
00:08:40
Isn't that the joke? Is I will be right back. And
he changed it. Yeah. And they got in an argument
00:08:44
about it. I mean, caught uh Arie, that's not
what it you know, is that what happened? No.
00:08:49
The original line was uh he refu Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Original is I'll come back and I guess he he said
00:08:58
a a machine wouldn't say I'll come back. Really?
Yeah. He said that apparently he was like Well,
00:09:03
I mean that's kind of how he talks in real life.
Yeah. He probably just misread it five times and
00:09:07
they were like we'll just keep it. I'll be back.
They're like Arnold it's I'll come back. He's like
00:09:13
I'll be back. They're like fine. I'll be back. We
can't do 12 more taps. He [ __ ] it up every time.
00:09:18
But it truthfully apparently he he was saying they
got into an argument about it. Yeah. And it became
00:09:23
one of the most iconic lines in the film. But
it was jokingly written as I'll come back. What?
00:09:29
Kind of powerful. What if I'm the director?
Okay. Yeah. I was like, "Hey, um Arnold."
00:09:33
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cuz I've never seen you do your
Arnold. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, um how good is this
00:09:39
movie going to be? Aren't we killing it? We're
crushing. I I love I love you Arnold. Listen,
00:09:45
Cameron James. Yeah. Aren't we crushing? All I
want to do is lift weights. Yeah. And coming.
00:09:51
I'm coming. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, we're actually we're
shooting something right now. I'm still coming. I
00:09:55
know. I'm coming at the gym. I'm coming at home.
I understand. But can I just I will be coming. I
00:10:01
I I know. But that's the light. You can't. It's
um I'll be coming. Yeah. Um I'll be coming. No,
00:10:08
the light is I'll come back. No, we got to go. The
light's We're losing light. Okay. I'll be coming
00:10:13
on your back. I know. I'll come back. is the line.
I'll come all over you. All right, guys. Cut. Get
00:10:18
and action. I'll be back. Cut. You don't have to
make the noise. We do the sounds. We're going to
00:10:25
do that in I want to do the sounds. I understand
that. But we have I love sounds. All right. Well,
00:10:29
you can do the sound. We're just That's not the
kind of sounds we're going to use. But anyway,
00:10:34
guys, and action. I'll be back. Okay. I'll
be back. It's It cut. I went to the camera.
00:10:42
I understand that. But uh really where's Will
Sasso when we need him? That was my favorite my
00:10:47
favorite Arnold Schwzinger. Sasso is the king,
dude. I got good news for the crew. What? We're
00:10:52
doing it. That's and that's all I want. I know.
You know what I'm talking about? I really don't.
00:10:58
We're going to Japan. Oh, we are. I got the sign
off. We're ready to rock and roll. I'm going to
00:11:02
be coming from Hawaii and I will meet you guys
in Japan. Well, wait. We're doing it in July.
00:11:07
Yeah. Okay, good. I'm already halfway there. So,
I said, "We're planning something with a family."
00:11:10
And I said, "If I'm halfway there, would it be
cool if we just jet to Japan with bad friends?"
00:11:16
My wife was like, "I think that'd be awesome."
And I was like, "This is perfect. It literally
00:11:19
is going to line up." Perfect. Really? So, we got
to start booking flights to Japan. How long are we
00:11:23
going to be there? What do you want to do? 6 days,
7 days? Is that That's a long, right? Yeah, that's
00:11:27
enough. Yeah. I mean, do but do we just want
to do Tokyo or do we want to go Okinawa? Okawa.
00:11:37
That's where Mr. Miyagi's from Okinawa.
00:11:41
Yeah, I can't wait. So, we'll fly into Tokyo
and then we'll figure it out. We should take
00:11:45
the bullet train. That would be fun to go down
to Kyoto or whatever. Whoa. And then Brad Pitt's
00:11:50
going to be on the train. We can fight. Yeah.
What's that movie called? Bullet. Bullet train.
00:11:53
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was a good movie. I
can't wait. So, we're going to do it. We'll start
00:11:58
locking it up. We'll be bad friends in Japan.
We won't do shows or anything. It would be cool
00:12:01
if we set up some kind of fun thing. Not even a
show, but like a meet and greet. meet and greet
00:12:06
or something for Japanese fans. Would that be kind
of fun to do? Let's do a meet and greet. Yeah,
00:12:10
just like a comic store or something. Yeah, like
a local hangout. Yeah, a comic store. Yeah, I I I
00:12:15
bet we have some fans in Japan, don't you think?
I think we have about four or five. That's enough
00:12:20
for a comic book store. Yeah. Yeah. Why'd you say
comic book store? That's exactly where our fans
00:12:24
would be in Japan. Yeah, exactly. No, I'm thinking
of logistics for myself as someone working and I
00:12:29
was like, yeah, it's a pain for you. All right,
just anywhere. Coffee shop. How about this lobby?
00:12:34
Oh, you know what? They have these massive video
game like arcade uh places and you should play
00:12:39
fans one-on-one in games. Yes. Okay, that is a
great idea. Right. They have these massive video
00:12:45
game like that. Oh yeah. They have ones where they
hold tournaments though that they hold like weekly
00:12:49
tournaments you can go to. I think that would be
fun. God, those buildings are so cool looking. You
00:12:54
know what the wildest [ __ ] is? Every floor
is something different too. You'll walk in,
00:12:58
it'll be like first floor is a restaurant, second
floor is like a look at that a shop for shopping.
00:13:02
The third one is a massage place. The force one
is like a you whatever. It's all [ __ ] [ __ ] I
00:13:07
can't wait. Yeah. Japan, here we come. We're
going to Japan. To a dollar. You touch it by
00:13:11
you know $2. Is this still $2? I don't know. Let's
just move on now. Okay. It's like New York pizza.
00:13:15
They raised the prices. It's a $150 now. I can't
wait. Yeah. The boys are going to go to Japan. Oh,
00:13:24
you m you're going too? That's up to us. What?
Said I got to film it. But that's up to us. Oh,
00:13:29
you got to film it cuz he he does jump on a
lot of He gets to jump on a lot of Yeah. Hey,
00:13:33
I'm doing this. So, we get to decide. Do they
speak English there or is it going to be hard? No.
00:13:38
No. No. English. Hasn't made its way over there
yet. Yeah. Okay. They've heard of They've heard
00:13:41
it. No. Yeah. No, they don't even know it. Yeah.
Are you a flat earther? What's going on here? I'm
00:13:47
a square ear. Four sides. Oh, no. I I They do
speak English. In fact, when we go to Okinawa,
00:13:54
which I have been down there, there's certain
islands you go to, they do not speak English. So,
00:13:59
you better get that Google Translate ready to
rock and roll. Yeah. Okay. I'm ready to go.
00:14:04
I'm so excited. We're going to We should dress
up as ninjas. You should. Yeah. No, you should,
00:14:08
too. I can't. Why? It's funny. They would like
it more on me than you because you're Korean
00:14:12
and they get mad at you. But me, they're like,
"This is good. This is good." Yeah. Yeah. This
00:14:16
is funny when he does it. You can't We can't
cosplay it. Oh, we Dude, that half of Japan
00:14:19
is cosplay. Yeah. But I mean, the whole country
is cosplay. Like, make it more American. Like,
00:14:24
I'll come as a American Eagle. Yeah. You can come
up as Yeah. Well, Carlos would be the bald eagle.
00:14:29
He'd be the American bald eagle. You can go as
pumpkin spice. Pumpkin spice the latte. Yeah. Who
00:14:35
wants a sip? Yeah, we should dress up an American.
American. Yeah. Taken back, dude. Yeah, we should
00:14:40
get into something funny. Sorry. Just chatting.
That's fine. No, we're doing good, right? I just
00:14:44
like chatting with you. No, I like chatting
with you. Everything's fine. What is that? Oh,
00:14:50
I This was This is a What is this? A handy person.
Get on. Oh, boy. God. Oh, yeah. No, don't laugh.
00:14:58
Is there a stitch? Don't laugh. Don't laugh. Don't
laugh, Dad. Let's see. Don't laugh. Don't. Whoa.
00:15:09
The sound immediately I think of the the
00:15:15
cut to music and no one helps her. Pop. See
that guy right there? That guy right there.
00:15:21
Didn't Well, try. Too slow. Too slow, dude. You
wouldn't help. What? You would not help. Yeah,
00:15:25
because I like a good laugh. But wow, that's
uh the Bart that's up in San Francisco. And
00:15:33
why why do you know he says she Yeah, cuz men
would just men would just take the hit. Why
00:15:39
is she color coordinating? That actually looks
cool. Look at I'm going to I'm wearing a green
00:15:44
shirt. I'm going to wear my green shoes as well.
Well, if you dissect this, that's 100% an Asian
00:15:47
woman. A This is in the Bay Area. Two, she's
wearing the visor. That is dead giveaway Asian
00:15:51
woman and gloves. And gloves. Yeah. Wow. And
gloves. And it's like 74 degrees. Yeah. Wow,
00:15:58
that's funny. I saw Leo last night go into
No, two nights ago going into a place. Leo,
00:16:03
really? Where? Look, he looks the It's
so funny. He looks the same in real life
00:16:07
that he looks on TV. I was waiting for a car at
valet and he was going into like a secret club,
00:16:11
but he had his hat on low. Yeah. And the
valet goes, "Oh, Leo's here." I was like,
00:16:15
"Well, don't I wouldn't say that out loud."
Yeah. Did you go say hi? [ __ ] no. Why not?
00:16:19
He doesn't know me. You're a part of that. No.
No. He went into his club thing. It was like a
00:16:23
private club. What do you mean? I'm not What? What
are you talking about? Yeah. Leo would be like,
00:16:27
"Get away. Get away." But he was wearing his hat
real low like he does. Mhm. It's kind of wild,
00:16:32
dude. I love that. I can't believe he still
lives in LA. That was my first thought. Why
00:16:36
would he live here anymore? Cuz he's a '9s dude.
He's still Yeah. He's like you. Mhm. He still has
00:16:42
Hollywood dreams. Yeah. Yeah. I would I mean,
give me a city that's better. No, I mean, for a
00:16:47
guy like him where everywhere you go is a thing.
He could hide out somewhere. He could go to like
00:16:50
Montana and just live, you know. Oh, that's Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. I could have a ranch or something. A
00:16:54
lot of those guys, they they disappear. They go
somewhere where nobody bothers them. Yeah. Robert
00:16:57
Duval died. What did you do? You know, luckily
for the first time, we didn't call out any of
00:17:03
these deaths. Thank god. I did. We did mention
Kathern O'Hara, sadly. Rest in peace. He was 95,
00:17:09
though. But you know who died today? The triple.
It was Kathern O'Hara, Robert Duval, and today
00:17:14
um uh uh Jesse died. Oh, Jesse Jackson. That's
right. Oh, that's right. Jesse Jackson. Jackson
00:17:20
died this morning. The Reverend R. Chicago legend.
Yeah. died in Chicago. Not from Chicago. Died in
00:17:26
Chicago. Shout out Jesse Jackson. Black History
Month, no less. God, what a legend. Remember the
00:17:32
single tear he did when Barack won? Zoom in on
that face. Look at that face. That does look like
00:17:36
the Cosby. Like Yeah. When Cosby was pudding.
Yeah. He's got that like I'm up to something.
00:17:43
Yeah. He's got fish eyes, too. Yeah, he does
have fishy eyes. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Perfect circle
00:17:48
head. Is Dolly Parton alive? Yeah, she's alive.
Yeah, cuz I saw her on a billboard on the way
00:17:52
here and I had that thought. Should I mention it
because maybe cuz how old is she now? We can test
00:17:58
the fate. I don't like that. I don't want her to
pass away. 80. Yeah. Oh, it's a good bet though.
00:18:04
I know. We should have a Bad Friend's death poll
here where you can bet the fans can bet with us
00:18:08
on who's going to die next. I don't want her to
die. I'm saying that. But I saw on a billboard
00:18:12
and I thought I don't know if she's alive or
not. You know, if she died, you know what would
00:18:16
die like two days after her? Her titties. They
stay alive for two days. do pretty good. Yeah,
00:18:22
they're big, guys. They're their own organism now.
They're huge. Yeah. Are they real? They're real,
00:18:28
right? Yeah. Come on, brother. What? You think
an 80-year-old has tits up to her chin? No. No,
00:18:34
I don't think she's got breast um surgery. Look it
up. You're out of your mind. No, those are real.
00:18:38
No, they're not. It's like I don't even have to
Google it, but I will cuz I Yeah. Yeah. I want you
00:18:42
to Google it. I want you to Google it. Yeah. Yeah.
It's the mo she she talks very open. My bet is No.
00:18:47
My bet is everyone listen consensus. Yes. Yeah, I
guess I bet you all the money. How about you? Yes,
00:18:52
m They're fake. Yeah. No, they're real. Go ahead,
Google it. Dolly Parton's breasts are not natural.
00:19:01
Pressation lifts to advance her signature look.
They're real expensive and they're real mine.
00:19:09
Let me tell you something, honey. They're real
nice. They're real fun to suck on. Wow. That's
00:19:14
disappointing. She's always been fun on on talk
shows about it. She's a good actress, too. She's
00:19:19
the [ __ ] Dolly Pardon's the [ __ ] Was she in
Steel Magnolia? Is that the movie that she was
00:19:22
in? Yeah. I love Do you like that movie? It was
good. I love that movie. I haven't seen it in a
00:19:27
long time. Yeah. Yeah. I love Steel Magnolia. Is
she on Rya? Have you seen her on Rya? Yeah. Would
00:19:32
you I wouldn't even swipe for her. Why? Just the
It's just I Where would you take dollar? That's
00:19:39
just like where do you go? You know what I mean?
I don't know any barbecue shops really or shop.
00:19:45
You going to take me to a barbecue shop?
You sweet little noodle? You. Come on,
00:19:50
baby. Let's go to a barbecue shop. Yeah. Like I
don't know. I don't know cowboy stores. You know
00:19:54
what I mean? I don't know any of that. Y'all
won't believe it. Bobby Lee was knobbing on my
00:19:58
knobs. She was slopping on my knobs the other
day. Yeah. She's She's I just don't know where
00:20:03
to take her. She's still pretty sexy. Yeah.
How old is Sally Field now? Oh, so old. 79.
00:20:11
Wow. She's still a babe though. Yeah. after all
these years. Like, how you know why these women
00:20:15
are still babes like her? Cuz she just she didn't
[ __ ] with her face. Yeah. Julia Roberts doesn't
00:20:20
[ __ ] with her face. That's why she looks so
pretty. Yeah. 58. She's 60 years old. She's a
00:20:24
That's a She's a mega babe. It's amazing. Dylan
McDermott. What's this about? You like him? He's
00:20:30
64. He's 64 and he looks great. You like this guy?
Yeah. Yeah. You like him? I like You know what? I
00:20:37
do like him more than Sally Field. I would [ __ ]
him more. You're off your head. Yeah. Sally Field
00:20:42
is a legend. Dylan McD, he's not a legend. His
looks are compared to Bradley Cooper just did
00:20:47
something weird to his face. He did. I saw that
on the thing. I know. Yeah. Hey, on March 27th,
00:20:53
the asskicking comedy event of the year drops.
Mike and Nick and Nick and Alice. Streaming only
00:20:57
on Hulu. It stars Vince Vaughn, James Marson, and
Asa Gonzalez. Wait, wait, hold on. Vince Vaughn.
00:21:04
Yeah, man. He's twice as tall as me. Think more
than that. Well, in this movie, there are two of
00:21:08
them. He time travels back to fix a night that
went horribly wrong. So, your entire 20s? Uh,
00:21:12
exactly. But he goes back as his own wingman. Two
Vince Vaughns trying to save the day. I need that.
00:21:18
Future Bobby just slaps my phone out of my hand
and goes, "Don't text her." There's mob stuff,
00:21:23
action, chaos, and it's rated R. Mob stuff.
You'd fold immediately, dude. I would thrive
00:21:28
in the mob. You have substitute teacher energy.
Rude, but fair. The trailer is actually hilarious.
00:21:35
Big action, dumb decisions, double Vince Vaughn,
and paired with James Marsden. I'm sold. Mike and
00:21:40
Nick and Nick and Alice streaming March 27th only
on Hulu. Rated R, which means don't watch it with
00:21:45
your mom or Bobby's mom. Warby Parker. You know,
your wife's glasses, you know, I always compliment
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They look good and they're practical. They're
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useful so you're not staring at your phone all
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they're going to ask you where you heard about
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them. Please support our show and tell
them that we sent you. Jules, um Carlos,
00:23:15
Google the movie Cocoon. The cast. I love that
movie. I love that movie, too. What a crazy
00:23:19
movie. I've saw that before. I was supposed
Look at the cast. Zoom in. Can you zoom in at
00:23:24
the cast? Wilfr Brimley. Wilfr Brimley when he
did Cocoon. How old was he when he did Cocoon?
00:23:32
He's looked the same. Yeah. Yeah. How How
old was he when he did Cocoon? He was 49.
00:23:37
He was 50 years old, dude. Like you right now. I
know. This isn't that insane. I'm 54. I'm five,
00:23:43
six years older than him. Yeah, but you could.
This means you could have a resurgence. I know,
00:23:46
but he was in a [ __ ] You know what
I mean? Nursing home in the movie.
00:23:52
Actors did look so much older. Why did they
Why did he look so old? Everybody looks smart.
00:23:56
Everybody looked older back then cuz nobody
took care of themselves. He's probably ripping
00:24:00
two packs a day, drinking every night. There's
no like Korean They probably didn't know about
00:24:04
Korean facial creams or whatever. Look at that.
That's Paul Rudd at 52 and Wilfr Brimley at 52.
00:24:09
Isn't that insane? That's That looks like his son.
Yeah. grandson even. Yeah. This is This is because
00:24:15
no one cared back then. Unbelievable. You didn't
need to take care of yourself back. It didn't
00:24:19
matter. In fact, you probably got more roles when
you got older looking older because they needed
00:24:23
older people in movies. You need Yeah. If so, in
2026, if he was like 48, he'd look different, you
00:24:31
think? Well, what what could he do to look more
hipster? He's got Balenciaga on. Hell yeah. Right.
00:24:38
Like he's shopping at Gucci. Like, what Gucci?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, what could he do? I'm
00:24:42
sure there's a fix. Look at Look at you. You don't
look 54. Most people on the internet think we're
00:24:48
the same age. I know, but in the 50s, I think I
would look still the like the way I look now. You
00:24:53
don't think I would? No chance. You would be an
old Korean man in the 50s. Really? An old Hagerty
00:24:59
Korean man in the 50s. What? Well, you wouldn't be
in the business, first of all. Yeah, but what do I
00:25:03
do different now than that? What would you What do
you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? Were
00:25:06
there any Korean actors in the 50s? No, no, no.
I mean, that's what I'm saying. You wouldn't have
00:25:10
been in Yeah, there had to been maybe one. Who is
that? Yeah, it was tough. Oh, there you go. Key
00:25:18
actors in the 50s, South Korean film industry
because of your own independent film industry.
00:25:22
Yeah. Bari wood. I'd have to go back to Korea
to work, I think. Yeah, but look at that. They
00:25:28
look pretty. Yeah, but they're all very young, I
bet. That's They're all probably 19 to 25. That
00:25:33
very young back then. Yep. Like in that guy on
the right playing 40, but he's 20. Yeah, that's
00:25:37
what they did back then. You'd play much older as
a younger person. Yeah. I mean, Judy Garland was
00:25:42
16 in Wizard of Oz. In Wizard of Oz, right? Or 15
or something. And they made her pretend they they
00:25:47
put her in that film as if she's a young woman,
but she's a high schooler. Yeah. Wow. Crazy crazy
00:25:52
times. What a great movie. Wizard of Oz. Honest.
Honestly. Yeah. No. I mean, for the time. Yeah.
00:26:04
What What don't you like about Wizard of Oz? I
don't like that when they get to the wizard. Oh,
00:26:08
here we go. He's just a little weak man behind
a curtain. I I understand the I understand the
00:26:13
message, but I want him to be more badass. Yeah.
You came back. You followed the road. You followed
00:26:21
the road. How did you find me? All episode I'm
going to so we can do boost it up and the whiz.
00:26:28
Right. That was the black. The black version.
The black version. Yeah. I would love an Asian
00:26:31
version. That'd be great. The who is Yeah. If you
look at the tin man you look it's made in China,
00:26:40
right? Yeah. We've lost Toto. The first scene.
Yeah. Toto's gone. Yeah. Yeah. And then all you
00:26:46
heard is the cargo go Yeah. The lion. Yeah. the
lion. I did indeed him. Okay. Cowardly lion.
00:26:58
That'd be amazing. Yeah. Yeah. But who
would be the witch? No. Yellow brick
00:27:01
road because they would get they they
would get lost. They would get lost on
00:27:04
the on the road camera wise. You would just
blend in. They would just blend in. Right.
00:27:08
Follow the red brick road. We do white
road. White road. Follow the white road.
00:27:16
Yeah. They should do an Asian whiz. Yeah,
they should do an Asian whiz. The Black
00:27:19
Wiz. That was Michael Jackson,
right? Did he Did he write that
00:27:23
movie? I don't think so. But he wrote the
soundtrack. Yeah. Yeah. He has the Europ.
00:27:38
Yeah. No. Bad. No. Very good. Yeah. And the
monkeys too, right? Don't they have monkeys?
00:27:45
Flying monkeys in that monkey. Yeah. Yeah. And
they were really depressed. All those actors.
00:27:49
Yeah. Like the little people on that were
treated so awful. Yeah. And then the rumor
00:27:53
that one guy killed himself ended up being
not true. Really? Who? They said a little
00:27:58
person actor hung himself in the woods. And
apparently you could see it in the original cut,
00:28:01
but that's not true. Man, Brad looks different.
Huh? 49. There's just something about it.
00:28:11
You know what they represented? Yeah.
Yeah. This is Jim Henson in there like
00:28:19
I mean, look. I mean, it doesn't look real, by the
way. Why didn't they get those are all really old
00:28:24
men and they should have gotten little people,
little kids. Yeah. Or just get little kids to
00:28:27
play Little People. Yeah. No, but that wouldn't
have been Dude, imagine. That wouldn't have been
00:28:32
okay. Yeah. Imagine if you were a dwarf actor and
you didn't get the role. I didn't get it. What?
00:28:38
What? I mean, come on. There's 10,000 rolls. I
didn't get it. Nothing. Not even a call back.
00:28:46
You know, they all shared one trailer, but they
put them all in one trailer. One trailer. Yeah.
00:28:52
It's how awful. They were treated so poorly.
They talk about it. They were It was so awful
00:28:56
the way that this movie was filmed, the way they
did it. And also, she was treated like [ __ ]
00:28:59
She was abused the whole time. It's crazy. Oh,
yeah. What's his name in Legend? Um, yeah. R2D2.
00:29:05
Imagine, dude. Scenes in Tatooine in that thing
for hours. For hours. I imagine that. You'd do it.
00:29:12
I mean, you you do it after I think after I did
Star Wars, the success success. I think the first
00:29:18
time you're doing it, you're like, "No one's going
to watch this." And I I'm in this tin can in the
00:29:23
in the desert. But you still But you still get the
you still get the the praise of the fans cuz they
00:29:28
know it's you cuz they promote it as you. I know.
But no one knew Star Wars was going to be that
00:29:32
big. No, not the first one. Yeah. So, in the first
one, he's like, "Fuck this." You know what I mean?
00:29:36
And then the second one, he was probably like,
"Yeah, put me in that." Imagine the call from his
00:29:40
agent. We did it. Wait, wait. He has dwarf agents.
You think they have regular Hey, Joe, you did it.
00:29:48
You got the part. You want someone like you to
represent you? Oh, really? Yeah. That's why you
00:29:53
should have Asian representation. I used to I
I still kind of have a Korean um Asian. I think
00:29:57
you should have more. Lawrence Har commercial.
Lawrence Hostin. No. Half half Asian, half Jesus.
00:30:06
Where are these Jewish Asian agents? We need
them. Oh no. Oh my god. One of the one of the
00:30:12
trees from Lord of the Rings is here. Guys, get in
there, dude. You're not You're not doing anything.
00:30:17
You're fine. Ladies and gentlemen, for our our our
fans at home, we have a a guest that joined us,
00:30:22
one of our favorite people on Earth. And very
funny. A ballot a ballot holder, a potential
00:30:28
inductee to the Basketball Hall of Fame, Blake.
Ladies and gentlemen, it's Blake. Blake Griffin.
00:30:33
You know this, right? He is on the ballot to go to
the Hall of Fame. Yeah. I don't know much. Yeah.
00:30:37
Yeah. Yeah. I don't know much about it, but but
I'll tell you this though. I'll tell you this. I
00:30:43
know that you're a professional basketball player.
Was Was Right. But I mean, but I don't judge it by
00:30:49
that. Who did he play for? What? Who did he play
for? Name name anybody he played for. [ __ ] off,
00:30:53
dude. Go ahead. What? He played for 35 teams. How
many teams did you play for? I played for I played
00:30:59
for Just start naming. Uh the Nuggets. Nope.
No. [ __ ] The Golden. Was it the Golden? Ah,
00:31:07
the golden. Yeah. Yes. The goldens. The goldens.
What's it called? It all goes back to Asian Asian
00:31:13
theme. Golden State Warriors. Yeah. Yeah. Golden
State Warriors. Like, uh, the sun. The rising
00:31:19
suns. Were you on the dragons? When were you on
the dragons? Yeah. Yeah. This is embarrassing
00:31:23
for me, dude. You're more like, you got to you
can guess. I know you can guess. Yeah. Yeah. Oh,
00:31:28
[ __ ] Trailb. Brazers is crazy. You are stickers.
That's crazy. got how many workshops? The dynamite
00:31:37
mines. He was in those. Oh, dynamite. I don't
think that was I think that's like there's no
00:31:40
dynamite. Utah dynamite mines. Yeah. Yeah. What
city? Yeah. Was the hub for no longer needing
00:31:47
the railroads that Oh. Oh. Salt. What? No. Like
think about where where were like the home home?
00:31:56
Detroit. There you go. There's one. What's the
team name? The [ __ ] the Lions. Yeah, dude. You
00:32:01
were you played for the Lions? I played center for
the Lions. I thought that was football. It is. It
00:32:05
is. Yeah. That's not a football player. What?
What is Give me the first initial of the P. P.
00:32:10
Detroit. Oh, Pistons. Oh, yeah. Detroit Pistons.
Go, Bobby. Did Blake Griffin ever play basketball
00:32:18
here in Los Angeles? I thought he played for the
Lakers, but no. Is there another Is there another
00:32:24
team in LA? What? Is there another team in LA?
The Lakers. That uh Give me the first initial.
00:32:29
C. Is that the Celtics? Yes. I did play for the
Celtics. That's not the LA. That's Boston, though.
00:32:35
That's Boston. Yes. Clippers. Yay. Clippers.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's one more,
00:32:41
but this one could be tough. Give me the city.
No, the city. That giveaway. Yeah. I'm going to
00:32:47
give you the I'll give you the state. Yeah. Give
me the states. Give me the state. New York. Oh,
00:32:53
the New York. The New York. The New York. Give
me the first initial. No, no, no. Come on. Why?
00:32:58
Because I want you to find it. Okay. In fact, the
team didn't used to be in New York. M they were
00:33:02
in New Jersey. Yeah, maybe that helps. It won't.
That's That makes it substantially harder. Can
00:33:09
you just give me the first initial, man? You're
making it embarrassing. It's uh it's an intricral
00:33:13
part to a basketball hoop. That's right. The name
of the team. Cylinders. Yes. Oh, yes. The New York
00:33:20
Cylinders. The Brooklyn Cylinders. Even if we tell
you the Brooklyn, do you know about the Brooklyn?
00:33:25
You know the team in Brooklyn? Do you know who
they are? This is Wanda. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Give me
00:33:28
the initial first initial. Well, what is the part
of a basketball hoop that you know other than the
00:33:32
rim? Yeah, the rim and the and the net. There's
no [ __ ] New York Nets. That's right. There's
00:33:38
not. Is there Nets? Yes. We just told you the Oh,
really? Brooklyn Nets. [ __ ] dude. Yeah. You're
00:33:44
really good on that, Dave. Yeah, I am. Thanks,
man. You were a big fan, right? Zoom into that
00:33:48
real fast. That's a great squad, by the way. Look
at that, dude. Look at the the powerhouse. Oh,
00:33:53
yeah. But here's what Can you name any of those
guys? I'll try. Can you Which one's Blake? How
00:33:59
about that? All the way to the right. There it
is. Yeah. Nice. Spunky web. Is he in that? Yeah.
00:34:04
Spunky Web is in the top middle. Who else? Name
these guys. I know you know them. David Chambers.
00:34:08
David Chambers on the top left. Yes. Very good.
Um there's always one African guy like um Frank
00:34:14
Alumaran. But no, it's Illumin. Okay. Close
though. Yeah. So, and also there's always a
00:34:21
Croatian or something. Yes. There's actually a
Native American on that team right there. Okay.
00:34:26
Really? Which one's Native American? Shadow Wolf.
Yes. Is there a Shadow Wolf? I will say about that
00:34:32
guy. He got the ball stolen from him every single
game. But they gave him like his own little court.
00:34:39
Gave him a little side court and he gets to play
there. Yeah. I don't know much. I don't know much.
00:34:44
It doesn't matter. But this was an amazing team.
Fear the beard number 13 is there. Durant. That's
00:34:49
a crazy crew. Who's the white guy? You know who
the white guy is? Is he a legend? He is. He's an
00:34:56
awesome guy. He's a great guy. But he's a he's a
basketball legend and I wouldn't he's not like a
00:35:00
like the Hall of Fame type of but he's like that's
John Stockton. That's a legend. That's a Yeah,
00:35:06
one of the best players of all time. Oh, Stockton
is Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I don't
00:35:10
even I can't believe I even know that. His
name is John Stockton. You know more players
00:35:14
than you lead on. Like I think you know Name
another famous basketball player. Go fast. Go.
00:35:19
I know. You know Magic Johnson. Yes. See Yeah.
Who else? Um we got Scotty Pippen. 100%. See,
00:35:27
I know you know you know the know a lot. He does.
You're killing this, dude. Yeah. Yeah. I remember
00:35:34
the Phoenix Suns Chambers. The Center Forward.
Center forward for the Phoenix Chambers. What's
00:35:37
his first name? Tom Chambers. Tom Chambers.
Yeah. There you go. Chambers of Commerce.
00:35:42
How do you know Tom Chambers? Cuz of video games.
Video games. Yeah, video games should help. Yeah,
00:35:49
there he is. Tom Chambers. Do you know him, Tom
Chambers? Uh, I I don't think I've may have met
00:35:54
him before. Yeah. What legends have you met? Look
at the guy who throws this most of them if they're
00:35:59
still alive. Why are you laughing? He's with
Jordan. He's about to get into the Hall of Fame.
00:36:02
I know. He's great. Well, he knows the legends. He
is a legend. Something's more about you than No,
00:36:07
no, no, no. Can I just say something? Yeah.
Right. There's certain comedy legends that
00:36:12
I don't know. Who? Um I've never met um [ __ ]
Russell Bran. You're right. I know Russell. Oh,
00:36:20
you know Russ. You know, you know everybody
and everybody there is one legend I don't know.
00:36:24
Ramdas. You're not familiar with Ram Das. Ramdas.
I don't know. You don't know him? Yeah. Yeah. Um,
00:36:29
let me think. Who have I not met? You've met
Eddie Murphy. You've met Eddie? I've never met
00:36:35
Eddie. You've never met? We met him together. No,
I've never met Eddie Murphy. I just recently got
00:36:40
a Instagram notification. See if I still have it.
From whom? Oh, no. It's a big name, dude. No. No.
00:36:47
Deepo Chopra. Richard Prior started following
me. Whoa. Whoa. That's a good one. Good news.
00:36:52
Bad news. One, he's alive. Good news. Yeah. Yeah.
Is he hanging out with Epstein? I don't know. That
00:37:00
really shocked me. Richard Prior started following
you. Yeah. I don't know. Does Richard Prior follow
00:37:04
you? No. God, I'm a little bummed that Prior
followed you from the grave. Maybe Rain Prior,
00:37:08
you know, his daughter. Oh, right. Maybe she runs
the account. Maybe Ray Prior does. Yeah. Richard,
00:37:13
do you know her daughter? Yeah, Rain Prior. Let
me see if I can find the screenshot of it. Wait.
00:37:16
Richard Prior. Is his icon him on fire? He follows
y'all, too. Hey, he does follow me, but I don't
00:37:26
follow him back. Does he follow me? Yeah. I didn't
know whether to follow back or not. I don't think
00:37:31
it's a followback. This is a This is a corporate
account run by someone. I mean, Kill Tony. Yeah,
00:37:37
he's a big kill Tony. Here we go. Richard Prior
started following you. That's huge. Wow. I mean,
00:37:41
Larry Bird, you know him? Yeah. Yeah. Met him one
time. Yeah. Yeah. Nice. The hick from French Lick.
00:37:47
That's what they call him. Really? The Hick
from Talked the most [ __ ] He was like the
00:37:50
He was a dog, right? He would talk heavy [ __ ]
Wait, I want to This reminds me on the car ride.
00:37:55
You're going to [ __ ] love this on the car ride
uh from uh this weekend when we were on tour. So,
00:38:01
this guy that opens for me, Devonte Coleman,
great comic. He's sitting there and he kind of
00:38:06
giving me looks cuz the driver's saying a couple
things, uncomfortable things. And he goes, "Uh,
00:38:12
well, I'll tell you what, you guys are better than
Tupac. I had him and he was not nice." And Devonte
00:38:19
goes, "You had Tupac in the car?" He goes, "Just a
couple months ago had him." I go, "Well, we should
00:38:26
alert the press. That's [ __ ] huge." And the
Devonte's giving me the don't egg this guy on
00:38:31
cuz he's going to say wild [ __ ] And then I go,
"Yeah, so what what was Tupac's deal?" He's like,
00:38:35
"Well, he brought weed and you know, they lost his
bag and he had to have his pot." And I was like,
00:38:42
"Tupac lost his weed that he tra by the way,
Oregon. Weed's very legal there." I was like,
00:38:47
"So, Tupac brought weed a couple months ago and
got lost his back." And then he goes, he goes,
00:38:51
"Yeah." And I go, "You sure it was Tupac?" He
goes, "Oh, yeah." He He sings um Funky Cold
00:38:58
Medina. That's swear to God. In Oregon. This is in
Oregon. Oregon. Funky Medina. Staying true to the
00:39:04
West Coast. Yeah. Who is of course Tone Lok. Ah,
not Tupac. Tupac. And I said, "Are you sure it's
00:39:11
not Tone Lok?" He goes, "That's who it is." That
was him. Uh-huh. He well he was a meanie. And then
00:39:17
I have to give you one more story. This guy blew
my mind. So the car gets quiet. Then he pipes up
00:39:21
again. Somehow we're joking around about the files
about the Epstein files. And then he goes I go,
00:39:27
"Well, you know, they should uh they should
public execute. You know, they should just
00:39:31
do like we should do public execution. We should
and it should be pay-per-view. You'd pay for it."
00:39:35
And we're like, we're joking around about it. And
then he goes, "I agree. I agree." And I go I go,
00:39:41
"Yeah, you like that? We should take out everyone
on the on the list." He goes, "Yeah, I'd prefer
00:39:45
just historically because of me, I prefer hanging
myself." And Devonte just slowly turned to me. And
00:39:51
I was like, "All right, brother. I think uh let's
stop chatting. I'm going to get on my phone now."
00:39:56
He literally said, "I prefer hanging." Wow. And
I was like, "Fer hanging." Oh, boy. That's it was
00:40:05
because you forget, dude. Oregon's the west coast,
but rural Oregon is not rural Oregon is not uh are
00:40:11
you like a get in the Uber or just like a driver?
It's a driver that works. You get in and you right
00:40:15
away you're like, "All right, let me feel them
out." Or cuz I try to go quiet cuz you never know
00:40:19
what you're going to open up and then I always get
nervous. I'm like, if they're familiar with you at
00:40:23
all with for you, it's got to be impossible for
them to not know who you are. We can kind of get
00:40:27
away with it sometimes, but then I think they're
listening to every word that we're saying. Yeah.
00:40:32
So, especially if I'm with people that are opening
for me, I'm always like, "We should because
00:40:35
sometimes people talk about stuff that we know and
friends, I'm always like, let's not he can hear.
00:40:40
He's going to listen." Also, a lot of drivers
have that those little cameras cameras. I I think
00:40:43
about that all the time. They're I think I mostly
think about it when I'm just getting just getting
00:40:48
a book. You just like make eye contact. Do you
talk to them right when you get in? I just Hey,
00:40:55
hello. And then I try to I try to sometimes I just
take AirPods and I go, "Hey guys." Yeah, I'm here.
00:41:02
I'm in a car, so I'm going to be on mute, but I'm
listening. Watch Tik Tok videos. So good. I did
00:41:06
the phone call thing, too, but the ride was like
an hour and a half. It was tough to keep that up.
00:41:10
Yeah. Yeah. I had to improvise a fake phone call
for 2 hours. No, Johnny. You know what I mean? He
00:41:17
was at the halfback. He's a halfback guy and just
making [ __ ] up. How did we lose the deal? Yeah.
00:41:22
Yeah. How did we lose it? Two hours of that. We
had a driver in England that he we had on video
00:41:26
that we posted. We were asking him questions
because we really wanted to know like he showed
00:41:30
us the studio right that um was Abby Road was
recorded at right and then we pass it and we're
00:41:36
like what's that and he's like oh and we're like
oh [ __ ] I don't understand a word this guy laugh
00:41:41
so hard he was just mumbling through everything
and he'd go yeah and we're like yeah that sure
00:41:46
that's fine he talked to us forever we didn't
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it's nice to I have trauma in my life and so I do
EMDR through Talkspace and and whatnot. And it's
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completely taken the weight off my shoulders.
After you do therapy at 4 p.m., it's always a
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good episode. We always have a better uh podcast
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promo code space 80. Why? What size shoes are
those? 15. 16. Really? Yeah. 16. My god, dude.
00:43:19
Yeah. We could never share. Huge feet. You want
to throw them on? No, I don't want to throw them
00:43:22
on. Yeah. Come on. Let me see you with his shoes
on. Uh, you're 69. Holy [ __ ] Are you dating,
00:43:28
married? What's going on with you? I just getting
right down to it. He's always interested. Yeah,
00:43:33
I go direct because if you have that big a feet,
he's kind of I bonsai. Oh, you're interested in
00:43:37
me? Yeah. Oh, not sexually. Oh, okay. Yeah.
How dare you? Spiritually? Yeah. Spiritually,
00:43:43
maybe. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, so, um, you
dating? What's going on? Yeah, I'm engaged. I'm
00:43:49
engaged. Yeah. Thanks. Amazing. Amazing. Thank you
so much. Guess who's going to be the flower girl?
00:43:55
Bobby, you would be such a cute flower. I would
be the best. A little sundress. I would literally
00:44:00
do it just floating down. I would literally do
it. You with the flower. I mean, you'd make it
00:44:04
such a show. Yeah. Do you have a date already
or no? Uh, September. Yes. Labor Day weekend.
00:44:09
911. 911. Wow. September 11. Good time to do it.
Love is in the air. Yeah. Never forget. Did you
00:44:17
instantly when you met her, did you instantly know
she's the one or did it take time? Um, she's Yeah,
00:44:22
pretty spe like special from the beginning. He's
He's looking for love is why he's so inquisitive
00:44:26
because he's we're trying to find him love
again because he's really he wants it back.
00:44:31
Let's get down. I'm dating I am dating somebody
dating. How did you guys meet? Yeah. Yeah. At the
00:44:36
comedy store, but you know, but I'm saying she a
comic. No, no, no. You're dating someone, but I'm
00:44:40
saying like you want marriage now. You're ready.
Yeah. Yeah. You're ready to go. It's beautiful.
00:44:45
Yeah. He wants it. I'm ready. Yeah. Yeah. But um
what makes you know you're ready? He's 54. Oh,
00:44:53
okay. Wow. I'm about to die. That's how I know. My
god. Yeah. We just bought his plot of land to uh
00:45:00
to bury him in. So, we figured we get that done,
then we get a headstone. Then we get married on
00:45:05
the plot of land. Save a little. I've been taking
a lot of these lately. Yeah, that's a plug for the
00:45:09
show. No, but this is real. I I asked Carlos last
night. I go, "Bring more blue." The funniest thing
00:45:13
is we do do blue chew reads for the show, but
Bobby eats the bags. He rips through them and
00:45:18
we don't then we don't have them to do the reads
because he's like they're at the house. You're
00:45:22
just popping them like Oh my god. No, no, no. It's
just like because I'm on Lexa Pro, you cannot get
00:45:27
even a wrap. Not at all. At all. So the Lexa Pro
and the Blue Chew are just fighting each other.
00:45:31
Yeah, they're fighting each other. Yeah. Yeah. Who
wins? That's the commercial. Blue wins every time,
00:45:36
baby. Great commercial. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I I need
it. You do. Really? It works though. But without
00:45:41
coming is hard. Okay. Coming is hard. But without
the lecture pro, you're fine. Yeah. Yeah. I'm
00:45:46
coming. I'm coming at the gym. I'm coming at home.
Have you se You've seen that, right? Arnold. God,
00:45:52
it's the best. Wait, but without the Lexa Pro,
you are fine. If I wasn't on it. No. Yeah,
00:45:57
I'd be fine. Yeah. But you feel so much better
on Lex. It's really astounding how you just it
00:46:01
affects your sex drive. What are they called?
SSRIs. Oh, like whole drive. I think the whole
00:46:06
drive even now it's like last night I was at
the comedy show. We were at the show and I was
00:46:10
going in the back and there was a really cute
girl and she grabbed my wrist and she's like,
00:46:13
"Where are you going?" Right. And I'm going home.
I think that's the Lexa Pro talking. Take my Yeah.
00:46:21
Yeah. Like I didn't even Cuz normally what I would
do is I'd wait for the whole show to end. Yeah.
00:46:25
Then I position myself smoke a cigarette outside
of the main room door. I know what you do. Yeah.
00:46:30
And then you grab them and go, "What's up? You
have fun?" Right. But I didn't even do that. I did
00:46:35
this and I went home. But then if you did this and
then you got in your car, popped the Bluetooth,
00:46:39
then you're like, "I'm going to go have a chat
with that lady." Yeah. Then I have to drive back.
00:46:41
Yeah. Yeah. You got to go back. Yeah. But it it
affects my sex drive. I think that's something
00:46:45
that ball players can't do. Like you can't wait
outside of the stadium, have a cigarette. No,
00:46:49
I usually don't. Yeah, but you know, guys will
guys will use the uh lock the bench attendance,
00:46:57
the locker room attendance. You know, they sit out
there on the court during the game and they'll use
00:47:01
the Oh, really? They'll do that. Go talk to that
girl from Yeah. They send them over. That's great.
00:47:06
Single guys out. It's like Carlos is like your
runner. Yeah. Except I would take the girls from
00:47:10
the players. Okay. player. I see you. I would do
half and half. What do you What do you He said no,
00:47:16
man. You said you're saying, "Yeah, if you're an
assistant at an NBA game, you would get a girl
00:47:22
over Blake Griffin." Yeah. If he was pointing at
a girl, I'd be like, "Hey, Blake, uh, you know,
00:47:26
he's got some other girls tonight, but you roll
with me. You know, maybe we'll see him at 3:00
00:47:31
a.m. 4:00 a.m. That's the same one I do with
Bob." That is exactly That is precisely. Bobby,
00:47:37
I'm joking. I don't let it go. I let it go. No,
that is legitimately true. It's the ketamine
00:47:41
cut talking the ketamine. Yeah. Are you guys
doing ketamine back? I'm not on ketamine. Yeah,
00:47:46
he's on ketamine Saturday. He was this he was on
this weekend. He's he's uh he's going to be in
00:47:50
timeout because he's supposed to be sober, but
Yeah. Not happening, I guess. Okay. They go to
00:47:55
the gay nightclubs and they party all night. We
don't have to tell Blake about the gay. No, Blake
00:47:59
likes to hear that kind of stuff. No, I I love I
love Are you kidding me? Come on. You would have
00:48:03
killed it at the Abbey. Thanks, man. Appreciate
it. Make that part of your speech. Blake, who I
00:48:10
would have killed it at the Abbey. Just letting
you guys know. Blake, who's the most famous person
00:48:15
been that's been courtside when you were playing?
Oh my gosh. Would anybody make you nervous? Yeah.
00:48:20
Does it make you nervous? Yeah. Basketball. I
played I've literally been able to dribble ball
00:48:25
since I could walk. It's like the one thing second
hand. Well, I'm saying we don't you see someone
00:48:29
famous in a crowd at a show, you're not you. It's
awesome. You're not You're like stoked. You're not
00:48:33
nervous. I don't know. Uh, it depends on who like
you've like seeing Denzel or Jack Nichol like Jack
00:48:39
Nicholson or um Barack Obama. Does Jack even watch
Barack Obama? Yeah, Borack. I'm still I've never
00:48:46
played Barack but Barack was there. You don't know
Barack. Dude, there was a game. Look this up. Look
00:48:53
up Look up N64 Turac. T U R O K. Tack Obama is
a game I'm going to put out where Barack Obama's
00:49:00
just fighting dinosaurs. Barack Obama taking
back. Okay, that's that's Barack Obama. That's
00:49:08
why he's so staunch on the fossil fuels. That's
exactly right, dude. So you don't get intimidated
00:49:13
if Barack or something was was in the sidelines.
I'm Can you I need you to say I don't know how to
00:49:18
say it. I refuse to say it right. No, he's saying
it right. Yeah. Borac. Borack. Obama. Obama. Bor.
00:49:23
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You wouldn't get nervous. Like
they go Bor's here. Not nervous. I would be like,
00:49:27
"Wow, that's really cool." Yeah, the guy the
guy was in office for [ __ ] almost a decade
00:49:31
and it's Borac to him. Never once did you hear
the news and go Barack and you were like no I
00:49:35
think it's Borac. Yeah on Fox News they Yeah they
were obvious just outing himself as a Fox News guy
00:49:42
big time damn it Barack turning point guy. Hussein
Obama. Yeah. How was the Show me his papers. Was
00:49:50
he even born here? Show me. How was the kid rock
concert by the way? It was really good. So good.
00:49:55
We were there. Yeah we went. It was Amir, Kiss
My Frog. I love that. Yeah. Yeah. Meanwhile,
00:50:02
I was listening to Bad Boon. Yeah. Amazing
performance. Bad Boon. Did you like it? Yeah,
00:50:07
it was great. What a great performance. It was
It was It was insane. Flawless. It was insane.
00:50:12
I didn't understand one word he said. Yeah.
Yeah. I don't care. I put up a Google Translate.
00:50:19
I was like, "Fuck, I'm in. Let's go."
Yeah. More bony. He understood every
00:50:23
word cuz FY's from Spain. So, he really got
that. That really tickled you, didn't Yeah,
00:50:27
it's not deep. I in It's not deep. Oh, wow. I
just picked up on the accent. The whole time I
00:50:32
Thank you. It took you He's working hard to cover
it up. Yeah. Oh, don't cover up your No. No. Okay.
00:50:38
Thank you. I I won't do it anymore. Okay. That
was actually surprisingly easy to convince you
00:50:42
of that. Yeah. He's an American citizen now, so
uh he's safe. He's safe in here with us. Yeah.
00:50:48
Sorry. That was a big deal for us for a while.
Yeah. Yeah. We got him in. And you're all good,
00:50:51
obviously. Yeah. Yeah. Not really. Not really.
You say that. I mean, we don't really know.
00:50:56
Yeah. Maybe I should call like a president or
something. Did you ever want to Did you ever want
00:50:59
to fight someone in the crowd? Did you ever want
to Yeah. No, nobody like nobody famous really. Um,
00:51:05
you did want to fight a random fan. I did want
to fight. I mean, the malice at the palace is
00:51:08
one of the greatest things that ever happened.
That throwing the water on that guy is You know
00:51:11
who that is? Who? Will Meldman. Wait, that's Will?
Yeah. Oh. Oh, that's crazy. Yeah. So, it was a bit
00:51:17
It was a bit. God, that's I never knew that's who
that was. Yeah. Will Meldman right there in the in
00:51:22
the yellow shirt. Oh, wow. Warriors fan. I I badly
wanted it to be someone you didn't know because
00:51:27
it was a great bet. He threw water reenacted it
like a year like right after the playoffs. Oh,
00:51:31
you did? He threw water on a guy in a in
a Warriors shirt. Uh by accident. Yeah,
00:51:36
by it was an accident. By accident. That's funny
that that was Will. I couldn't even I couldn't
00:51:40
even tell with the hat on. You've never done that?
You've never thrown something at a fan? Have you
00:51:44
ever had something thrown at you? I've kicked
somebody. Who' you kick? Oh, they turned around
00:51:48
and kicked them on the back. Why? What? As a joke,
but I think I did too hard. It hurt. I go, "Get
00:51:52
the [ __ ] out of here." How often are you guys
like kicking out hecklers? Not as much anymore.
00:51:57
The store The store The store is pretty good about
it. Especially now. That's Bobby if he was a Yeah,
00:52:02
Bobby. One of my moves. Bobby would be Draymond
Green. Yeah, 100%. 100%. Uh I'd be Rodman. No.
00:52:08
Why not? No. The worm is I'm good defensively
in the dress. Don't get defensive, dude. Okay.
00:52:13
Yeah. Yeah. You're Rodman. Yeah, you're Rodman
when you get wild. That's Bobby Lee. Yeah. Yeah,
00:52:17
I'd be wild. Yeah. Which basketball player would
I be if I was a famous ball player? Oh [ __ ]
00:52:22
That's a good one. Steph Curry. That's a huge
compliment. Yeah, that was No. Stephen Cerr. Steve
00:52:28
Curry. Steve Curry. Is that who you meant when you
said Steph Curry? Yes, I did. I did. I did. I did.
00:52:35
Steve Curry. Yeah. Yeah. Steve Curry. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. That is 100% who I would be. I think that's
00:52:39
who you Hey, man. That guy's a dog. What about me?
I'd be Yaoing. No. No. I'm Yao. Jeremy L. Jeremy
00:52:46
Lynn. Oh, Jeremy Lynn. I would be. Wow. Who is
the Is there was there ever a short Asian ball
00:52:52
player that made it? Never. Like made it made it.
Yeah. Uh honestly, Jeremy had a nice nice run for
00:52:59
What was Jeremy? Jeremy's only 6'3. Something like
that. 62. Oh, you're talking about shorter. Oh,
00:53:03
Yuki Kawamura was 5'8. Japanese point guard
short. He plays for Memphis right now. Yeah,
00:53:08
he still plays. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Yuki Kamura
5'8. He's good. That could be you. Yeah. Is he
00:53:14
good or he's he's a good player? Yeah. Yeah. But
he he's not the first guy you would sign. Well,
00:53:19
his stats. No, he's not at the draft. Well,
I mean, yeah, some people maybe Yuki first
00:53:25
round trip draft Yuki goes to the Bulls. Can
you imagine what this did for Japan? I mean,
00:53:30
they probably lost their mind when he got drafted.
Yeah. Well, by the way, Ruie Hachimura. Oh,
00:53:34
Hachimura. He's half right. He's half Japanese.
No. And he's really good. He's a Laker. He's
00:53:39
great. Yeah. He's like 69, 68. He's the [ __ ]
man. Yeah. He's Asian. Really nice guy, too. But
00:53:45
here's the problem, Blake. Look, you zoom. Yeah,
zoom in. Here's the problem. Enhance. What's
00:53:49
the other half? Enhance. He's Asian. What's the
other half? Just spinning. Yeah. Yeah. You know,
00:53:59
he really does look Japanese. He does. He really
does. Yeah. I think the other half won in this in
00:54:06
this biological. It always does. Yeah. Yeah. First
name and last name one. Yeah. Yeah. Rui Hatchima.
00:54:13
Hachimura. And there's him with his peers and
speaks, you know, obviously speaks it. So his
00:54:18
dad was Asian, mom was white, not black, I mean.
No, his parents were white. They were both white.
00:54:23
And uh this was a big point of contention. It was
a big mishap. The hospital was getting real loose.
00:54:30
How they did you guys see this woman who gave
birth a black is a white woman give birth a black
00:54:36
kid and accuse the husband of cheating on her
with the black? I've seen it time and time again.
00:54:43
It's called the Blake Griffin autobiography.
Well, so his mom is black. Brother? Yeah,
00:54:50
brother. Should we dive into it? I mean, well,
I What? Why? Why is that a weird I mean, dude,
00:54:56
clearly his mom is Asian. What the [ __ ] His
dad is black. Well, how how does he get the
00:55:00
last name? You can [ __ ] Uh, have you ever
Do we explain it to me seriously? Maybe he
00:55:06
grew up with his mom is all I'm going to say. I
don't I don't know this for a fact, but maybe.
00:55:12
That's his mom. Wow. No, that's his dad. Yes.
All right. His mom. Yeah, that's his That must
00:55:20
be his dad. I I'm not sure. Actually, it's a good
question about the last name. Yeah. Unless his dad
00:55:26
Oh, look at Boy, I tell you what, this is this is
tough to tiptoe around. What? But how about this,
00:55:33
Blake? As a as a half in the NBA. Oh, you're
half. That's right. You're half. You're one
00:55:38
of the greatest halves that ever lived. Thanks.
Yeah. I mean, you've got to be an inspiration to
00:55:42
all the other halves. Your com your combo is
what? Your mom's white. My mom is white with
00:55:46
red hair. Yeah. Yeah. He's me. Yeah. He's me. If
the if we flip and your dad's a large black man.
00:55:52
And my dad My dad is Yeah. My dad's a black man.
Is he large? He is large. Yeah. He's 6'4. 6'5.
00:55:57
Can you imagine if he wasn't? He's 5'8. 5'8. His
dad's that little Japanese guy. Yeah. Yeah. Are
00:56:04
they still together? They are still together.
Amazing. Yeah. It's a beautiful story. Oh,
00:56:08
that's amazing. Do you ever go home and go, I'm
going to come. Where are they? Like what city?
00:56:12
Oklahoma City. I want to go back to Oklahoma
City. I'm just going to go to my old room and
00:56:16
stay for the weekend. Do you ever do that? I
do. When I go home, I stay with him. They're
00:56:19
They have since moved to a different house that I
grew up in. But did you help them? Same bed though
00:56:23
from your childhood. Same bed. Same bed. Yeah.
And is it nice to just wake up in the morning,
00:56:27
your mom's cooking up something? Mhm. Yeah.
What do you think? As a a white redhead
00:56:31
lady married to a black man in Oklahoma,
dude. Wow. Right in your face. By the way,
00:56:36
love corn beef hash. Over medium eggs. OB I see
what you did there. What? Corn beef for the Irish,
00:56:42
hash for for the black side. Exactly. Hashish.
Hash. Sorry. Corn beef. Hashish. Yeah. Now I'm
00:56:47
going to ask something controversial. Oh
boy. Yeah. We can cut it out if you want.
00:56:51
It's a real question. It's a real question.
Does your house smell more my mom's dick?
00:57:00
That was a question. Does your home smell more
black or black? I knew you were going to say
00:57:04
that. You know what I mean? No, because there's
a smell, right? Yeah, there is. If you go to my
00:57:07
parents house, it's full-blown Korean. Oh, yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. You're like, "Oh, Koreans live here."
00:57:12
Yeah. Right. So, it does What do I smell? I
I'm I'm spending the night. My personal home.
00:57:16
My parents home. Your parents home. You and I are
sleeping. Twin beds. Yeah. Separate beds. I mean,
00:57:21
my parents home sleeping. I wake up. Oh, good
morning, Blake. Yeah. It smells like the White
00:57:26
House. Not the White House, but a White House.
But it's very It smells a lot of candles. Yeah.
00:57:31
Candles. Cotton. Fresh linen. Oh. That's a
white person's candle. Oh, okay. I got you.
00:57:40
The cotton thing was weird. Yeah, that that that
actually threw me off. We both were like, "Where
00:57:46
are you going with this, dude?" White people's
candles s like fresh linen or they do like the
00:57:53
um wood camping wood fire beach wood fire. No,
that's a different one. Beachwood Beachwood.
00:57:58
Beachwood. Beachwood. Yeah. What does my house
smell like? You've been to my mom's house. Yeah,
00:58:02
it's white. It's very white. What does it smell
like? I mean, it's always like a little bit of
00:58:06
a baseball glove with coffee. You know what
I mean? And a little bit What was the first
00:58:10
thing? Baseball glove. Like a leathery baseball
glove. Like a very fish muff. A little apple
00:58:16
pie. Drive my truck. Yeah. Yeah. That tie my
boat. Smells good. Listen to country. Don't.
00:58:23
Yeah. Yeah. What do you listen to? Um, what do
I listen to? Hip-hop. Hip-hop. Thank you. No,
00:58:30
I like everything. I think I like What do I like?
I like uh I like I think my preference if I could
00:58:35
listen to anything all day long probably be closer
to soul music than Yeah. I don't know. I just like
00:58:45
it. Yeah. That's my redheads are black, right?
We are black. We're black now. Which you already
00:58:50
had. Well, yeah. Now I'm just Now I'm just full
black. Your redheaded half got promoted to full
00:58:56
black. Full black. Yeah. Is your mom Your mom's
redheaded? Yes. Wow. Pure pure red. Pure red. Wow.
00:59:01
Pure bread. I love it when it's pure. There she I
want to meet your mom so bad. Sweet. Look at Oh,
00:59:07
wow. Yeah. And that your dad? No. No. That's
just a guy that she met. Just brought a guy to
00:59:13
the game. And your brother is right down there who
I love. Your brother's a great man. Taylor. Yeah,
00:59:18
there's Taylor. Wow. I run into He's got the
red beard, which you kind of would have if I
00:59:23
would if I grew it out, but you never do. I did
once, but I would I You know what? I would kind
00:59:27
of like I would make sure it looked a little
darker, you know? Did he shave because he was
00:59:31
bald or he shaved to look not like you? He was
He was going thin and he was like, "You know
00:59:37
what? I'm not anymore." You're not even close
to that. You've got full lettuce, dude. I Well,
00:59:40
I've been I've been working on it. No, it looks
really No, but I use a thickening shampoo and
00:59:46
condition. I take the I take the pills. Take the
pills. Yeah, I'm fighting it. Carlos uh Carlos
00:59:51
is we He wants us to go fly him to Turkey. Show
him what you got cuz he wants us to fly him to
00:59:54
Turkey to fix that. All right, Blake. Oh, prime
candidate, dude. You would be, dude, you would.
01:00:00
Can you imagine? We said we wanted to fly him out
for it. He already looked it up. They're having
01:00:04
trouble in their government, though. It's a little
Can you imagine doing ketamine with a full head?
01:00:11
I mean, Blake, I'd be unstoppable. I'd
be It'd be You'd be at the Abbeby just
01:00:19
whipping it back and forth, dude. It would be
lobster 3.0. It' be crazy, man. I like that.
01:00:24
That's might be too much power for one man. That's
why that's why God did that because they go this
01:00:29
guy's too handsome and cool. We give him hair
as well. It's trouble. That's trouble. I would
01:00:34
like to I've had I mean people have people love
the results. Yeah. Well, look at Dude, honestly
01:00:40
though, we we looked it up, right? How much did
you say it costs for the whole head? Six grand.
01:00:44
6 G's for Turkey. Uh that was for Spain. For
Turkey, it's like4,500, I think. Wow. Wow. Yeah,
01:00:50
it's not bad. We'll send you to Turkey. Can we
send them to Turkey? Why don't we just do a little
01:00:53
gofund me right right now? Why don't we start it?
You could fund me. Just wa wa wa. Technically,
01:00:59
I could, but we just met. Yeah. Yeah. We don't
need to gofund me. We have the funds here. All
01:01:05
right. Wow, dude. That's really aggressive. You
know what? Let's make a Let's make a little Let's
01:01:09
make a little bet and maybe I'll fund your u your
your hair transplant. Let's make a bet with them
01:01:14
and let's see if it works. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
What's the bet? Who are the the matchup in the
01:01:18
finals? Oh, so you're going to pick? Yeah, I'll
pick. Yeah, you you pick. If you pick correctly,
01:01:24
I'll fund your your hair. This is amazing.
If you pick Do you need some time to look at
01:01:29
the standings? No, he's a die hard. Oh, you're a
Okay. He's a die hard. He's a That basketball is
01:01:35
his number one sport that he pays attention to.
Okay. And by the way, I'll let you pick between
01:01:39
Spain and Turkey. Daddy's splashing the pot.
Let me Let me pick for you. No. For you. Please,
01:01:48
God. No. Yeah. Yeah. Shanghai Sharks versus the
King. Yeah. Yeah. Are we talking basketball? Like
01:01:54
uh NBA. Okay. NBA, right? Can I pick for you?
Are we talking basketball? Aa do high schools.
01:02:01
Do local high schools. Yeah. Yeah. All right.
You pick, Bob, but Okay. Yeah. No. Give us Give
01:02:06
us your real pick. The Sonics. I already know.
The Sonics. So, yes, he picks the Sonics. Yeah.
01:02:11
I was going to say OKC versus Celtics. I think the
Celtics are going to go Wow. Really? I love that
01:02:15
pick. I love that pick. All right. So, how about
this? Ironically, what you picked was half true.
01:02:20
Exactly. Because the Sonics are now the Oklahoma
City Thunder. Isn't that kind of crazy? Yeah,
01:02:24
that's correct. I already knew that. I always
say the old school name, right? I already knew
01:02:28
that. Change. I already know that. How about
the what? The Nick's old school name. Exactly.
01:02:32
What's that one? What? The New York Nick. New
York Knicks. What? Nick. Nick. Nickas. Nick.
01:02:40
That's exactly short. We dropped the A. The New
York Nickas. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They were really
01:02:46
good. And these Nickas are running up and down
the floor. By God, have you ever seen a Nicka
01:02:51
run so fast? This Nicka's jumping out of the
gym. I mean, why can't we have that? Yeah. Yes,
01:03:00
we can. The Boston Celtics are just have no answer
on defense. They must be saying, "Nick, please."
01:03:10
Oh, man. I got to be honest. I love your pick. I
I mean, Oklahoma City is obviously a big favorite.
01:03:17
The Knicks is like an interesting one. It's a very
interesting one because Jason Tatum's hurt. He
01:03:21
might be coming back. I think they're coming back.
Wait, wait. So, you think it's going to be OKC and
01:03:25
who? The Celtics. I think Tatum's coming back in a
couple weeks. Oh, so you think the Celtics? Okay.
01:03:29
OKC and the Celtics you really think can do it.
Do you think he's going to be full strength? No,
01:03:33
but I think in the playoffs he will be. And I
think he'll overtake the Pistons cuz they're
01:03:37
younger. It's incredible for you to talk to a
professional basketball player this way as if you
01:03:40
have any knowledge more than I I love it so much.
Dude, I'm actually I'm actually I I would not No,
01:03:46
he might be right. I would not argue that. My
money would be on Detroit, though. The Pistons
01:03:49
are young. They are the be They're They are the
best team in the in the uh Bobby, you're loving
01:03:53
this, aren't you? Yeah. He's been staring at the
standings. Trying to make sense of it. He's trying
01:03:57
to match a team to a city. I just think some of
the name should be changed. Like the Cavalier.
01:04:02
What is a Cavaliier? Couldn't agree more. Yeah, I
couldn't agree. I mean, that's like a hard city.
01:04:06
What? No, I don't. I haven't even heard of it
before. Cleveland, but where do you think they
01:04:10
should be called? Cavaliers? I've never heard of
it before. What do you think they Oh, let's rename
01:04:13
them. How about this? This is more fun for you.
The Cleveland like the Cleveland there was the
01:04:17
Browns. Simple, right? It's got to be some sort of
You know what I mean? So Cleveland what? For the
01:04:21
hands. The Cleveland hands. Cleveland hands. Cuz
that's what they use. That's right. Yeah. Yeah.
01:04:28
They're really getting their hands in there.
Yeah. Yeah. The Cleveland feet. Cleveland feet.
01:04:33
Your feet. Stuff that they use. All right. So, how
about calves? No, they're the calves, right? Well,
01:04:37
they're the Cavaliers. Cavali. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. That's even simpler that like Cuz I have
01:04:42
a calf. No, Ca. Calves. But you're right.
You know what? Let's They do go by the cats,
01:04:46
right? Yeah. All right. How about Toronto Raptors?
Do you like the raptors? I don't like it either.
01:04:50
Let's Let's do a animal that exists. The star
player, Tack Obama. Yeah. Yeah. How about the
01:04:57
um the rap the rain frogs? The Toronto rain frog.
Yeah. Yeah. I love Have you ever seen an African
01:05:04
rain frog? Careful. No, it's not careful. They're
the saddest creatures on earth. They're so cute,
01:05:09
though. Have you seen it? Why can't they be
happy? Yeah. Oh, look. Zoom in. Okay. Yeah,
01:05:13
they got a little fat. Look at that. They're very
sad. Let's do that. The African rain frogs are
01:05:16
sad. The Toronto African rain frog. Yeah. I mean,
look at the merch we're going to sell. Look at
01:05:21
that, dude. Why are they so sad? Oh, you know that
when they're born, their fathers leave right away.
01:05:31
Okay, so go back. Okay, let's go back. Okay,
so then the 76ers are Philadelphia. What do
01:05:34
you like about them? Oh, wait. The 76ers. What
does that even mean? Come on. Or some arbitrary
01:05:39
number. 1776. No, dude. There's no way that's why
that is. Yeah, you're right. No, let's just make
01:05:46
up a 1942s. The guy who bought the team was
actually 76. Some arbitrary um I don't like
01:05:53
76ers. You don't? Okay. So, what in Philadelphia
would represent a team better, do you think?
01:05:58
Philadelphia. They've got Rocky. They've got the I
got the Philadelphia Fentinals. Yes. Philly fence.
01:06:05
Philly fence. Yeah. The fence, dude. I think cuz
they have that street. What's it? Let's go fence.
01:06:13
Just bob out. Yeah. All right. Orlando Magic.
Yeah, Magic's good. Yeah, that's cool. Yeah,
01:06:18
Magic is Orlando. Disney magic. Yeah, I like it.
No, I like it. I like it a lot. Miami heat. Yeah.
01:06:23
Yeah. Not my favorite element. Yeah. So, what
what do you like better than a hurricane? Uh
01:06:28
Miami. But it is hot there. Very. Yeah. Sweats.
The Miami sweats. Yeah, the Miami sweatings.
01:06:35
Yeah. Yeah. Sweating. Yeah, you sweat when you're
there. I think it should be based on the city,
01:06:40
too. All right. What about the Charlotte Hornets?
Never been to Charlotte. Are the Hornets? They're
01:06:44
everywhere. They're inside the stadium. They play
Midame. They do the sound that I've Whoa. So,
01:06:51
keep it that then. And I know that you're going
to correct this one. That's the Atlanta Hawks.
01:06:55
What are those going to be? Mm- Careful. Atlanta
Hawks. What goes on in Atlanta? What [ __ ] man?
01:07:01
Tyler Perry. Yeah. Yeah. Oh. Oh, the the Atlanta
medias. Media. You better pass that ball. Uh-huh.
01:07:14
Uh-uh. No. Well, the Atlanta medias and then
Chicago Bulls. Do you like the Chicago Bulls?
01:07:23
That's my home team. Well, can I just Are
there Are they indigenous to the city? Bulls.
01:07:28
Yeah. Back in the day. They're running wild in
Illinois. We've had bulls running in the streets
01:07:33
for years. Really? Years? Cuz I've been there
a bunch of time. I've never seen a bull. Well,
01:07:36
they hide them from you. Oh, they do? Yeah.
Okay. cuz they know your fighting days that
01:07:39
you're a barrel boy. They don't want to upset you.
Yeah. But why the why the bulls? Yeah. Yeah. Well,
01:07:44
the bears and the cubs were had a shared thing
because a cub for a bear. But the bulls were just
01:07:49
their own entity. They didn't want to have another
bear. I like the Chicago Winds. Well, the wind.
01:07:55
Well, we had so cold, right? Yeah. Yeah. Well,
the women's team is called the uh the Chicago
01:08:01
uh Yeah. What is it called? Storm. Yeah. What are
we called? No, no, no. The Storm is What are we
01:08:07
called? The Chicago. Yeah. What's Chicago? Sky.
Yeah. Skyline. It should have been. Yeah. Chicago
01:08:12
sky. That's right. Angel Ree, shut up. So, you're
okay with Bull or No. Would you want something
01:08:16
else? Cuz Chicago is Al Capone City. This is
the Union City. It's a crime city. Deep dish.
01:08:22
Deep dish. Yeah. Deep dish. Chicago deep dish.
Yeah. Yeah. I like that. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. We
01:08:26
keep it deep dish. All right. Let's finish off
the round. Milwaukee Bucks. Now, this is true
01:08:31
to Milwaukee. Wisconsin is filled with bucks.
Mhm. You like Bucks or you want something else
01:08:35
for Wisconsin? They love cheese. Fear the deer is
what they say. Fear the deer. Cheese. Wisconsin
01:08:40
cheese. Just cheese. Yeah. Cheese. Cheese. Cheese.
All right. Uh and of course Blake's uh old team,
01:08:47
the Brooklyn, what do we say? Nets. You like
Nets? Yeah. Big proponent of the game. Brooklyn
01:08:53
Hipsters. Brooklyn Hipsters. Yeah. Yeah. Because
there's a lot of hipsters there. All right.
01:08:56
Indiana Pacers. What would you you like? Do you
like that? Pacemakers. Pacemakers. Yeah. There
01:09:01
are a lot of elderly people in Indiana. Yeah.
Yeah. And then finally, out of Washington DC, the
01:09:06
Wizards, Washington Warlocks. Warlocks. I'm more
of a warlock guy. The Washington Warlocks. It is.
01:09:11
Well, Bobby Lee's locked in his picks and Carlos
has locked in his uh his picks for the finals. And
01:09:17
if it comes true, our fans are going to know Blake
Griffin did agree to get you to Turkey or Spain to
01:09:23
get a full full-on hair transplant. So, that's a
airshake. Airshake it huge. Huge. That would be
01:09:28
incredible. It's not going to happen. Even if you
win, I don't think Blitz's going to do it. If one
01:09:32
team gets there. That's what I was just going to
say. Hey, pay for half your half. That's not bad.
01:09:38
I'll let you choose which half. That's not bad.
But it's got to be right down the middle. No,
01:09:43
just from back. No, it would be funnier if
it was just this half was full hair. Oh,
01:09:47
I see. Okay. Half was no hair. Okay. Yeah.
Wow. That is kind of a good move. I think I'm
01:09:52
I'm honestly pulling for you. Me, too. How about
You're welcome. I I want to get surgery. What do
01:09:57
you want to get done? That leg surgery where you
get they chop the like the butt bones and they
01:10:02
put a gap so I can be taller. Yeah. How tall are
you? 53 and a half. Okay. And a half. Whoa. Whoa.
01:10:07
Whoa. What's that? What's that? No, I just I love
I love that the the half is still being used. Got
01:10:12
it. 54. 54. 54. 54. He's 5'3. I'm talking. No,
sorry. I was talking age five 54. 54. But he
01:10:22
looks so good. You look amazing. It can increase
your height to 6 in now. They break your legs and
01:10:26
all that [ __ ] Put the bones in there. It's 100
grand. You want to bet Blake for this as well?
01:10:33
I'll make it easier. Uh the Wizards. Sure. Right.
And the Wizards. Go back to the um the that list
01:10:40
that you had. Now, you didn't know that list
was by teams and and place that they're in in
01:10:44
the league. So, go wizard. I know. That's
why I I don't Yeah, I want to long shots.
01:10:48
How about the Wizards and the Pacers? Okay. Yeah.
Completely. They're both from the same conference.
01:10:56
Pick one from the Western Conference
from this list. All right. So, um,
01:11:00
zoom in a little bit more. The Wizards and the
Suns. Go to the bottom. Wizards and the Kings,
01:11:05
baby. If the Wizards and the Kings make the
NBA Finals, I will pay for your leg length.
01:11:11
You will. I I promise you. Yeah. Yeah. Wizards.
And I'll even give you a score. Okay. Yeah. 86
01:11:19
to 14. That's the what? Score of the game. Yeah.
That's the score of the game. And the Wizards win
01:11:24
it. Avid basketball. The Wizards win by 86 by that
many points. 14. And then you have you better do
01:11:30
it. You better pay for my surgery. Wizards have
to win by 62. It would be so funny if a pandemic
01:11:36
broke out. All these guys got sick again and then
for some reason these two teams ended up in the
01:11:40
middle of it. That would be amazing. Incredible.
It's impossible, but I want it. It's impossible.
01:11:45
There's not even a 1% chance. No. No. Literally
no. Yeah. No, it's a one in a zillion. I think
01:11:50
uh can you go down to the bottom? Uh they have 12
wins and then 44 losses. So they would have to get
01:11:57
to I mean they're not technically eliminated from
the playoffs, but it's approaching fast. If they
01:12:04
win every single game from now on if they win.
So what are they? They have they're at 56 games.
01:12:09
So they have uh 26 games left. If they win out 26
would put them at 38 wins. And then the 10th seed,
01:12:18
no, sorry, the 11th seed 20. Yeah, they could
they could technically make it hypothetically.
01:12:23
Hypothetically, yes. And you know what? For your
for your legs, I hope they do. Yeah, me too. For
01:12:26
your wonderful little legs, I hope they do. Dude,
can you imagine the confidence you'd have with the
01:12:31
height? Yeah. No, dude. I have confidence
now, guy. Yeah, he's saying it. Hey guy,
01:12:36
don't ever challenge me. I think I think it'd be
worse. I'm not afraid of you, guy. I never have,
01:12:41
never will. I know you have confidence.
You know what? That that's on me. Yeah,
01:12:45
I'll rip you out. What's that mean? I'll stretch
you out. You want me to stretch you out? Stretch
01:12:51
me out, dude. Be careful. Yeah. Why? Pause.
I don't You stretch him out. Yeah. That's a
01:12:55
sexual innuendo. You know what's not? What
is stretch you out? Legs. You stretch your
01:12:59
legs out. I'll stretch your legs right out,
dude. Yeah. Yeah. You just want to make him
01:13:03
comfortable. Yeah. You You'll be able to do,
you know, play again. You guys go to fight,
01:13:06
he just becomes your physical therapist. Hammy's
got to get loose. You drink enough water?
01:13:16
Yeah. Honestly, I I think if that happens, I would
love it for you. But I think you are the perfect
01:13:21
little height. God made you the height that you're
supposed to be. I don't even if I I had it for
01:13:24
free, I wouldn't do it because you can't walk for
like two years after that. You don't walk much. I
01:13:28
know. It looks so painful. Have you seen the guys
like rehabbing? No. Let me see the guys rehabbing
01:13:34
these. Like there's like a guy on TikTok that did
it and um Oh, dude. They have like the the metal
01:13:40
things that come out. It's almost like you like
fractured your tibia. Even the photos are insane.
01:13:46
Wow, look at that. That guy gained like four
inches, five inches. Wow. It does work. 100%.
01:13:51
Of course it does. I mean, this is going to be
detrimental when they're older. I mean, their
01:13:54
bodies are going to literally fall apart. Can you
like run after? Yeah. Oh, dude. I mean, it's full
01:13:58
functioning. It's just Look at that. There's
no chance this has any This has got to be so
01:14:02
unhealthy for your insides. Yeah. You know what I
mean? Like, there's no way this is not really bad
01:14:07
for a giant plate over his He installed that. He
wanted a plate penis. Yeah. It takes away. I mean,
01:14:13
if you're already in there. Yeah. While you're
at it, man, it's the challenge of life that's
01:14:18
the thing. Why body bodybuilder Brian decided to
become what does that say? How how tall? 66. So
01:14:24
he he got himself up. He was only what? I hate
that they do this. 1.82 meter. I mean, come on,
01:14:29
man. Stop it with it. What are you doing? 1.82
meters is what? You guys are the only one who used
01:14:33
this weird Hey, you're a [ __ ] American citizen.
Watch your phone. Hey, come on. Come on. Come on.
01:14:40
You guys are the only one that use this. Well, you
moved here. Well, you moved here and you're happy
01:14:44
here. Are you not happy? Little person did it. Oh,
now she's a big little person. There's got to be
01:14:49
a name for that. You got to do the arms, too. No,
it looks weird. No, I don't know that I don't know
01:14:54
that the arms are what I'm distracted by. Now you
look like a raptor. I mean, it's like her little
01:14:59
arms, dude. Wow. Look at that. Yeah. To that young
woman. Happy for her that she got Look at that.
01:15:05
That looks how So, this is who it's made for. Not
little Korean men that want to get laid more. It's
01:15:10
for people that need it for health. Yeah. I'm
assuming she had knee uh knee replacement. Well,
01:15:15
you would know basketball player. I mean, you can
see that I'm going to need it. I'm going to need
01:15:18
it double. I'll definitely need it. My left. I
think my right might be okay, but I'm putting it
01:15:23
off as hips. Hips. I'm okay. I think you know you
recommended me. I will say the moment of truth. I
01:15:29
had a you know, my when my hip was bad, my back
was bad. He recommended me someone that helped
01:15:33
me get much better uh for injections on my hip
because of all that hip pain that I had. He's the
01:15:38
one that helped. Blake was the one that introduced
me to a doctor that helped fix me. What's ailing
01:15:43
you, Bobby? You know, I'll be honest with you.
Nothing. Wow. His body is great. I think my body
01:15:48
is pretty good. I I think when you're smaller, it
doesn't break down as fast. Yeah. Yeah. That is
01:15:55
true. Bigger cars tend to break. Do you do any
physical activities? I really don't do I don't
01:15:59
do any that probably helps. Yeah. Yeah. We talk
about hiking a lot. Yeah. So, I don't It's never
01:16:04
going to happen, but we do chat about it. But
if I sit down eight hours and play a video game,
01:16:08
that's when I feel it. When I get up, I'm like,
you know, you would imagine. Yeah. You eight
01:16:13
hours in a video game chair. When you I I've done
that where I didn't even get up to get a glass of
01:16:18
water. I would just like sit there. Eight hours
with nothing. Nothing. What do you play? I'll
01:16:23
just play like Starfield or something like that.
Oh, yeah. Obviously Starfield. You're not a video
01:16:28
game guy at all. No, I don't do it. Yeah. It's You
guys are jocks. No, no, no. First of all, let's
01:16:33
be real. I'm a nerd. First of all, are you more
nerdy, right? You know, so how many NBA players
01:16:39
play video games? All of them. They all play so
much. They travel with like little things and set
01:16:44
them up on the plane and play on the plane. A lot
of these guys uh didn't Cat stream for a while.
01:16:49
Like some of these guys, they get they're they're
so big into it. They look they travel with their
01:16:53
That was LeBron when he was 19 years old. Yeah.
Now there's like these little briefcases and
01:16:57
it's a TV, their console, everything in there and
they can play at any moment. Do NBA players with
01:17:03
with video game briefcases? Look at this. They
and they all travel with them now. Especially
01:17:06
because they're bored on those planes. Those
team planes got to be [ __ ] amazing though,
01:17:09
Blake. Yeah, they're great. They're uh plenty
of room. Plenty of room. I don't know. We're not
01:17:14
getting a good shot there. What is it? A 777 you
guys all flying. It's like modified giant seven
01:17:20
somethings. And like the So the first class area,
these huge seats, they recline. Yeah. Not like lay
01:17:28
flat. And then like there's a I always sit at
the table cuz I played cards. Yeah. So there'd
01:17:32
be like two chairs facing two chairs and a table
in the middle and you play cards. And then there
01:17:40
rookies have to sit they're assigned seats.
Rookies got to go back in a way cuz you know
01:17:44
if you're new to a team too like you get to the
team and like people have their seats already
01:17:48
so you just find an open seat or whatever.
Do you bully them? Rookies. Yeah. Get the
01:17:52
back kid kind of thing. Oh no. Yeah. Wedgie.
Yeah. Like a little nookie. You know what I
01:17:58
mean? Yeah. A little noogie kiddo. You know
what I mean? Little nooji. You'll get there,
01:18:01
kiddo. You know. Nah, go to the back. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Back at um Yeah, the planes are
01:18:08
nice. That relationship always is interesting
to me of when the teams have to travel together,
01:18:11
too, right? Because you don't But you don't NFL
they're required to be on that plane. You guys,
01:18:16
if you could have your own individual travel
dependent on contract, you could you don't have
01:18:19
to be on the team plane. Some guys like if you
had like a specific reason like a guy had to go
01:18:26
see his family, somebody passed away or some this
or that. Yes. But like they prefer everybody to
01:18:30
be on the plane for sure. But is that true that
nowadays a lot of guys get to sneak away and not
01:18:34
have to fly on that plane? I I would say most guys
fly the Do they? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. NFL is crazy,
01:18:40
right? NFL you get fined if you don't sit on
if you don't get back on that. I mean if you
01:18:43
don't have an excuse like if you're like late
to a flight you get fined if you miss a flight.
01:18:47
What's a fine for being late to the flight? If it
happens one time they may do it depends on the guy
01:18:54
but maybe 10k and then if you are late again maybe
30 25 30 and then if you miss a flight every game
01:19:00
I'd lose 100 grand 100%. I was just show I was
literally Can you imagine all my money goes to
01:19:05
that? Yeah. Yeah. Do you guys ever take off they
don't show up? Yeah. Yeah. No. No. And then what's
01:19:11
that? That fine's got to be insane because there's
a fine and then they just have to get themselves
01:19:15
to the wherever we're going. If they're flying
home they get there. Yeah. But there are times
01:19:18
where they don't even show up. Yeah, there's been
times. I don't know that on a team that I've been
01:19:23
on that we've we've left somebody. There's been
people late. Usually they won't leave unless
01:19:28
it's like egregious, right? Um but yeah, guys have
missed flights for sure. Did Did you on a plane,
01:19:34
did Kyrie ever talk about flat earth when you were
on a a plane flying through the No, he never did.
01:19:38
God, I wanted that to happen so bad. Yeah. As
you're on the curvature of the earth, he's like,
01:19:43
"This is all fake." You guys have like a Arsenal
FC has a 15-year-old kid on the team. Imagine
01:19:48
that. Being 15. I can't do that in the NBA. You
can't do that in the NBA. No. Why? You have to be
01:19:53
child laws. Yeah. Child labor laws. Is it? Yeah.
Yeah. We're pretty serious about them. Um. Yeah.
01:20:00
Yeah. You have to be one year removed from high
school. Oh, I see. Okay. So, a lot of guys go
01:20:04
play. You can But imagine being 15 and and being
in the NBA. That'd be crazy. I can't imagine.
01:20:09
You can't imagine it. But a 15-year-old probably
wouldn't play wouldn't it wouldn't be the same.
01:20:12
the the level of play isn't there yet at 15. But
dude, I mean, look at like we have a 15-year-old
01:20:17
kid on our team and he's he he's great. What's
your job? And this is not me being rude, but
01:20:22
soccer is remarkably different than basketball.
15, these guys are not developed yet enough to do
01:20:26
what these guys do. It's not the same. Oh, you're
saying that Erland Harling is not huge? He's
01:20:32
huge. You're not. Erin Harling, the guy the at
Manchester City. Yeah. How old is he? So like when
01:20:38
was he couldn't have played in the league? No.
No [ __ ] way. He would have gotten cooked. Yeah,
01:20:42
because my point is not strong enough. You're just
not strong enough. You don't have these guys are
01:20:47
super I understand that. I'm not being rude about
soccer, but it's a different world. Yeah, it's
01:20:52
it's it's skill set with running. This is How old
are that kid? That's when he was 15. Yeah. Victor
01:20:57
Womenyama. He's now 20. He wouldn't be able to get
a basket back then. It would have been impossible
01:21:02
for him to play in the league at that age, I
think. Would he be able to get a basket, though?
01:21:05
For sure. He could he could be out there, but like
in terms of be the the NBA is not about going to
01:21:11
get a basket. It's about who can you guard? Like
if you can't guard like sure you can go out there
01:21:15
and like we could put you out there and you could
you could run up and down and go to the corner and
01:21:19
maybe hit an open shot, but like on defense like
b the NBA is just it's called a pick on league.
01:21:24
So they just they bring you up into a pick and
roll. You have to switch that pick and roll and
01:21:27
then now you have to guard Luca coming down. It's
impossible. But you know in the 90s I would have
01:21:33
been the white in the corner. I'm just white in
the corner. And there he is. The red streak in the
01:21:37
corner. Steve Kerr Curry. Steve Red Curry. Steve
Red Curry right there in the corner. Got in the
01:21:45
shot pocket and it got blocked. Steve Red Curry.
I'm a redheaded Indian guy. Half redheaded. Give
01:21:51
me the ball, man. I'm ready to shoot. I'm in a
three-point stance, man. I'll pop one in your eye,
01:21:56
man. Steve Red Curry. I never dribble.
Just waiting for the I'll pop a shot, man.
01:22:08
Pop a shot. I'll pop a shot, man. Practice every
day. After a game, you fly back to Do you get on
01:22:14
the plane or you leave the next day? That's what
we're saying. We would It depends. If you're on
01:22:19
a road trip, say we play in LA, we go to Utah to
play a game. We might go to Denver. And if there's
01:22:24
a day in between, maybe you stay over in Utah,
but usually you fly then right after the game. But
01:22:29
they're having a day off would be fun. No. What
do you guys do together? Um, like the Celtics are
01:22:34
playing Golden State on Thursday and then they're
going to fly to LA. Hey, I'm going to go play golf
01:22:38
with some guys actually. Oh, cool. On Friday. Cuz
they have a day off. So like guys will plan ahead,
01:22:43
you know, if you kind of know you have a day off.
Yeah, you plan ahead. There's no practice that
01:22:47
day. A day off would Yeah. be no practice. Uh but
yes, on a trip like you might practice. But are
01:22:54
there no sessions in that day off or no? Sometimes
you just need a day off. So I'm assuming they get
01:22:58
back, they have like a little workout Tuesday.
What's today? Yeah, they're probably back because
01:23:05
it's All-Star break. We're probably back doing
a little workout tonight. Practice tomorrow. Fly
01:23:08
to Golden State. Fly to San Francisco. Mhm. Shoot
around the morning. Play the game. Fly to LA that
01:23:14
night. They'll have Friday off. I think practice
Saturday and then I think they play Sunday against
01:23:18
Wow. Wow. Wow. Clippers. Clippers. No, Lakers.
Lakers. Lakers. Oh, it is. Yeah. I think they
01:23:22
already played the Yeah, they already played the
Lakers. Wow. What a lifestyle. Amazing, right?
01:23:26
Yeah. It was so exciting. I always fantasize about
being in a pro league somewhere. I mean, you could
01:23:31
have been a pro uh table tennis player for sure
cuz you're good at ping pong. He's very good at
01:23:35
ping pong. Oh, they're not teams though. Yeah,
but you still travel to play tournament. You still
01:23:39
travel to tourn Yeah. tournaments. You saw You saw
uh Supreme. I'm talking about a team sport. You're
01:23:46
not really team sport guy. Yeah, I am. I am. Pass
me the ball, bud. There it is. He's open. You know
01:23:51
what? He's open. I I know how to only telling
other people. He's open. Go. He's open. Yeah.
01:23:56
Go there. Yeah. You would go around. Go around.
You would be a great coach. Go around me. Great
01:24:02
coach. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think I was super
motivated. Coach him right now. Go, Coach Blake.
01:24:07
Blake, Blake, Blake. Why are you standing there?
Go to Go to the offset. Okay. Go to the offset. Go
01:24:10
to the center of the ring. I'm at the offset now.
I'm at the ring. What do I do now? Shoot it now.
01:24:14
Shoot. Yeah, shoot it now. I missed. What now?
Yeah. What? What do I do now? I miss the rebound.
01:24:19
All right. But I'm at the center offset ring.
Get six points, not three. If it's farther back,
01:24:25
that's They should change that. If it's farther
back, you get it. You get more. Yes. They have a
01:24:29
three-point line. No, even more further back.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We should see a five-point
01:24:34
line. Yeah, there should be a five line. Start
with four. They they um they toyed with it in
01:24:39
the WNBA Allstar game. Yeah. Of like the circles
where Yeah. There's like a circle. There's a spot
01:24:43
you could you could shoot. Can somebody go on your
shoulders? We would do that movie. Yes. Right. And
01:24:48
they have to wear a trench coat to shoot like
that little Japanese guy. That little Japanese
01:24:51
run the little rascals. Yeah. Go see a movie only
by one. Or you go down your all fours, right? And
01:24:56
the Japanese guy like a trampoline and goes on
your back and then hits. Unfortunately, there's no
01:25:01
cat there's a no catapulting rule in basketball.
Oh, you got to bring that back. I don't think it
01:25:07
ever was. Love the catapult. Got to bring that.
Although, you dunked often enough on people where
01:25:12
you use them as leverage to put your nuts in their
face. This was the thing that Blake was probably
01:25:17
the best at. He would dunk on people to embarrass
them and use their and use their head. The fourth
01:25:23
one right there. The fourth one. And he would use
their head as his for his balls to rest on. Now,
01:25:28
that's his balls resting just gently against that
man's forehead. Yeah. And that's just to protect
01:25:32
his balls. Yeah. Because when you're flying
through the air, your nuts going to be too free.
01:25:36
Put a forearm up. He definitely kind of boosted
me up on that dunk a little bit. It was one of the
01:25:39
greatest grabbing his hair. It was involuntary. I
wasn't really find balance. Not the hair, Dad. I
01:25:46
I I I know you don't, but if I'm you, I have this
blown up so big in the entrance of my house that
01:25:52
every time somebody walks in, I would just And
they're like, "What's up with that?" I'm like,
01:25:54
"Don't worry, that's whatever. Don't you want a
coffee?" and ignore it as if it never. But this is
01:25:59
the greatest. You should This dunk was so [ __ ]
unbelievable. I mean, like even his own teammates,
01:26:04
the guy that's getting dunked on. Yeah. They
showed love because it was incredible. His
01:26:08
balls were on his face. Wow. Wow. It's [ __ ]
amazing. Have you ever apologized to him for
01:26:13
that? I haven't apologized, but we have talked.
Timothy Mosgov, really nice guy. 72 Russian. What
01:26:19
does he What did he say about it in the aftermath?
We didn't really talk about it. I just was like,
01:26:24
it's good to see you. I had a taste. I'd say I had
to pay you, bro. I mean, this to to this to you,
01:26:30
this is like when someone breaks someone breaks
someone's [ __ ] ankles and they cross someone
01:26:34
really bad and they score a goal and it's
just like they embarrass them like crazy.
01:26:38
It's the exact same [ __ ] Like it's just You're
a Manchester City fan? No. Arsenal. Arsenal FC.
01:26:44
Like you know you know those you know those goals
where they're like like what Messi did most of his
01:26:47
career where he ruined someone's he made them look
like they weren't there. Oh yeah. and just [ __ ]
01:26:52
destroy them and then score where you fake a shot
then the defender has to slide and they go Yeah,
01:26:56
I love that. Or if they think you're going
one way and they just It's the same thing
01:26:58
in the NBA. Break their [ __ ] Yeah. So, you
would love the NBA. I feel like you would love
01:27:03
an NBA game. It's so action-packed. Here's
the No, my argument is this. And no offense,
01:27:10
too many black guys for him. Yeah. Way too
many black people. Yeah. No. Uh no, no offense,
01:27:16
but there's too much scoring for me. Yeah. You
you like you like uh and this is the analogy I
01:27:22
want to use. That's the one I should have. Yeah,
it was Kendrick, right? Yeah. Here's my anomaly.
01:27:27
That's Kendrick Lamar he's dunking on. That's
amazing. Yeah. They are not like us. That's what
01:27:31
that's where I came up with. Yeah. Can I finish
my thing? Yeah. Okay. So, too much scoring. Well,
01:27:37
it's the reason why I like So, it's like this.
Okay. If you were having sex and you nutted a
01:27:43
little bit the whole time. I mean, you right. You
had little mini nuts. Yeah. like ooh ooh ooh right
01:27:49
that's basketball that's a woman yeah yeah yeah
but okay but in soccer right sometimes you know
01:27:55
what I mean they score in the last 5 minutes and
when they do score it's a far more bigger like
01:28:01
what happens when they score in the first five
minutes and they don't score again for the rest
01:28:05
of the game that's what he does every time that's
like a mini nut that just like you didn't even you
01:28:09
didn't even sometimes I'll have sex I do a big
nut up front and no nut at the end and you oh
01:28:13
you keep going but I still keep going yeah I still
keep going down. Well, he's asleep for the game,
01:28:21
but that thing is rocked up. It's just too much
scoring for me. Right. I'm going to take you to a
01:28:27
game. We'll get we'll get really good seats and I
think you'll love it. I promise you. If I'm not up
01:28:30
front, I don't want to go. You want to be on the
floor. I got to be sitting there with Nicholson
01:28:35
and all those guys. Well, he doesn't want to be
anywhere near us. Nick Olsson. Yeah, Nick Olsson.
01:28:38
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He was ex center back and Barack
Obama. Barack Obama. Yeah. Borack. Wow. Shouldn't
01:28:46
you be killing a dinosaur to Barack? Um, well,
this has been a phenomenal episode. I will say,
01:28:51
Blake, dude, you're so funny to me. One
of our favorite people to ever watch. No,
01:28:55
really, you're so funny. And your connection.
Your connection with standup is the roots run
01:28:59
very deep with you because uh you've been
kind of a part of our world as a you're
01:29:05
an honorary. I'm a I'm a huge stand-up fan. Yeah.
But you're an honorary because you're you've been
01:29:09
in our world. You've you've done you've done
standup. You've done roast. you've done. So,
01:29:14
we love you and we appreciate you still do stand
up. No, I mean I I like still write some stuff
01:29:19
from time to time. He should. You should do it. I
just I don't I don't know. Okay. It's hard, man.
01:29:24
You It is hard. It is hard. You already mastered
one career. It'd be embarrassing if he did ours as
01:29:28
well. It It would hurt my feelings. Yeah, because
he could do it though. No, trust me. I'm very
01:29:33
aware. I know. It's annoying. Really needed this.
Well, yeah. You don't need it. You son of a [ __ ]
01:29:38
You guys aren't bad friends after all. And that's
full circle. Thank you for being a bad friend.
01:29:56
Woo!
01:30:01
Woo!
