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This podcast is sponsored by Hule. H U E L. New customers can use code bad
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friends for 15% off plus a free gift. You two are bad friends. Who are these
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two idiots? A white dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting.
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You two are something. We're bad friends. I've been breaking out like a teenager. You got a little pinch. I just
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said here. This one's a white head. I'm breaking out like TJ. White heads are better than blackheads. I shaved all my
00:00:28
pubes down there to look like a little boy. I don't know why I did that. You know what I mean? Why? You can't say that. Did you really? You went Let me
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see. Why? You went flush. Yeah. Oh my god, dude. That's so funny. Why
00:00:40
did you do that? The desire to be youthful. And then I And then I And then I shaved my head to look boyish and
00:00:47
everyone's like, "You look so boyish." And because of the losing the weight too, I kind of look boyish. You do like
00:00:52
data from the Goonies a little bit, right? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? Like supplies or whatever he said. You know what I mean? Whatever.
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And so I feel youthful. I feel energetic. I I'm in a very good mood. But um you
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know what? I I'm going to say something to you, pal, cuz you're my best buddy. You know what I mean? And your redness
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really um I think about it at night. I know I just said that, but um I do. I like the I want the pain.
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I'm addicted to the pain. The pain of relationships. If you look in the mood for love one car, you know how they
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can't. They're in love with each other, but they can't. Yeah. They just can't do it. Paris, Texas. They can't. Brokeback
00:01:33
Mountain. They do. And they do it good. When they do, they
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do it good. And they do it hard, but they do it sensual. I never saw the movie in my mind. You never watched it?
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No, but I've I've had dinner with Jake before and I saw in his eyes. I've never watched I didn't watch it either. Isn't
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that weird? And you know what it is? We have to watch it because I You know what it is? I think it's because maybe I'm
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like I'll be uncomfortable, but I'm I'm into that kind of love. Why don't we do a Bad Friends Viewing Party of
00:02:04
Brokeback? We have to do it and invite all of our fans to come out to watch it with us. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We have to watch Brokeback. There's a couple of
00:02:10
things. La La Land. I can't watch. Never seen it. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, what movies can't you watch? There's a a string of
00:02:16
them. Like when you said Auroro. What? Whatever. Anora. Anora. Anora.
00:02:22
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You watched it. Never saw it. Oh, because of you. It's worth a watch. Yeah. Yeah. And so there's just
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certain movies. Baby Girl, I can't watch it. I buy it. I can't watch it. Would
00:02:34
because of the social restriction behind it. You feel like you're not supposed to watch it. It's not you. Lisa Gilroy killed it on Black Mirror. I didn't see
00:02:41
it. The first episode she's in Black Mirror. She killed it. I'm watching uh I'm watching a third season of Netflix's
00:02:48
uh uh aut autistic love show. What's it called? Love. Love on the Spectrum.
00:02:53
Dude, I Okay, I'm going to tell you about that. May I tell you about Love on Spectrum? Yeah, bro. I had a I cried.
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I'm excited for your episode. Are you on the third or fourth season? I
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am. No, don't. That now you ruined the bit. No, I can't. I can't. I Why can't I do that? You are autistic. Yeah. Yeah, I
00:03:12
am. Andrew. Okay. Conor's the best. Connor is the king. He's the king. And also Connor, come on this show if you're
00:03:19
a fan. Did you finish the very final episode? I haven't done all of them. Don't do anything. Or can I just say something at the end of it, though? No.
00:03:25
Don't I'm not going to I'm not going to ruin it for you. I have to say what I need to say. It's going to If it ruins
00:03:31
it, I'm going to be pissed off, dude. You're always pissed off at me. It's my nightly watch. It's my favorite thing to watch at night. I burn through it, dude.
00:03:37
I'm saving it. You know what's so funny? You know when you get a You know when you get something from your mom when you're a kid and it's sweet and
00:03:42
delicious and you're like I want to I want to savor this and I take little tiny little tiny bites cuz I know I want
00:03:48
to eat the whole thing fast. Mine was squid. Dried squid. Yeah. Yeah. I want to take the tentacle the dry tentacle
00:03:54
and just suck it through my mouth. Well, don't you have to do that before they suck they suck into your mouth if you don't do it right. Don't they suction into your mouth when you're eating them?
00:04:00
We have our own styles of doing that. You do. Exactly. I thought you the other day at sushi this the chef looked exactly like you. I'm not even kidding.
00:04:06
He looked exactly like you and I kept looking at him thinking I miss Bob. Yeah, I do. I missed you so much while I
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was gone so long. Went to the Abby. I was thinking about you. I How does that feel?
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I don't get it. What is that? You're gay. I'm gay. Can I finish my
00:04:25
uh Can I finish my thing? Oh, Abby the gay nightclub. Yeah. Yeah. I haven't worked there for years. I know. But when
00:04:31
you did Oh, wow. Oh my god. So, what I'm going to say something is that in the last episode of the very last episode of
00:04:38
Love on the Spectrum. If this ruins it, I will [ __ ] fight you. That's your problem. I I'm I'm setting boundaries
00:04:45
with you right now. This is me setting a boundary. I don't want to hear it if it's going to ruin this. Well, then close your eyes and your ears. No, we're
00:04:51
on a show together. Don't ruin it. Don't ruin it for the listeners. I'm not I'm not going to ruin I'm going to say it as lightly as I can. Okay.
00:04:59
No, you listen. I'm not I promise. Listen. Put your headphones on. No. Are you my friend? Not right now. No. Do
00:05:07
you have trust with me? Uh, not with Love on the Spectrum. Just you're acting like them right now.
00:05:16
All right. And you're mocking them. I don't like it. The one kid that has put that puts on headphones and listens to white noise on the date, it's one of the
00:05:21
funniest things I've ever seen. He's like, I'd like to listen to white noise instead of her is so great. Yeah. So, anyway, the last episode there's a first
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time kiss. I'm not going to I'm not going to tell you who it is and who it's with.
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Is that better? Just finish. Okay. There's a first time kiss and his
00:05:40
reaction, his or her reaction to the kiss, right? What? So, um, the last episode,
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you I mean, an individual kisses another individual and the purity of his reaction or her reaction.
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So annoying, dude. You're so annoying. I know. Let's just say it, Connor.
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Oh my reaction. God, you're [ __ ] dead. I I I know, but that's
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life. Yes, Bruce Willis is dead in [ __ ] that movie. You don't even know
00:06:14
the movie. Yes, I do, dude. Six Sense. All right. And if you haven't seen it by now, that's your bet. It's been out.
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Yeah, but Love and the Spectrum just came out. You're burn through it. No. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, he gets a Jeppi wins
00:06:26
one of the seasons of [ __ ] Bake Off. Yeah, he does, right? Okay. So, he gets a kiss, right? And his reaction, it's
00:06:33
it's so pure. And it's like, let's be honest. Can we all be honest with each
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other? I can hear him in his in my mind going, "Wow, that was the greatest kiss
00:06:45
I've ever had. I love him. He's so like emotional." He went into convulsions.
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Well, yeah. You ever got some good [ __ ] before? Yeah. That's not [ __ ] It's a kiss. I'll be shaking. It was a closed mouth kiss. And he does this and his
00:06:58
last line is, "I can't feel my legs." Oh, he has a heart attack. He almost
00:07:03
died. He has a stroke. But what I'm saying is is that there's a purity and you and I, bud, we're so jaded and we've
00:07:10
been in the saddle for so long. We've lost that innocence of the first kiss of
00:07:15
the first kiss. And what I'm saying is is that I want that. Do you remember your first kiss?
00:07:24
Yeah. And then she and then she ghosted me. We didn't have that terminology. She didn't shake. Yeah. Yeah. That's her.
00:07:31
She didn't talk to me, right? Monday at school. Why? It was middle school.
00:07:38
Really? She was ashamed that she kissed me. Right. And then two years later, I
00:07:43
was at a McDonald's and she was working there and I laughed right in her face. Okay. I did. I You working here? I did that.
00:07:51
What was she working? The fry the the No. Front desk. Listen, I wouldn't have done that. Front desk like it's a
00:07:56
[ __ ] hotel. I don't know why McDonald's works, but it's like there's a concierge at McDonald's. Yeah. Yeah. She was the host and I laughed if I'm
00:08:03
party for one. Yeah, that was mean what I just did, but that's the truth. And it's like she ghosted me and I did that
00:08:08
and then um I don't know. She's doing some sort of thing. That's street justice. If she ghosted you, you get a you get a laugh. You're allowed one
00:08:14
laugh. Well, it's like one of those things where it's like because it hurt your feelings. There was a girl in Dallas who um had sex with a lot of
00:08:22
comics. Mhm. Right. And then what happened was years later, Russell Peters
00:08:27
comes up to me and goes, "You know so and so from the club, the girl." And I go, "Yeah." I mean, she's he goes, "I
00:08:33
had sex with the girl." I go, "I did too." And she goes, "She didn't mention [Laughter]
00:08:40
you." So I'm embarrassing. And this day stops here, right now. All right. I'm a cool guy. No
00:08:48
longer not a cool guy. You know, you know what? Somebody called me the other day. Mhm. Zatty. Oh, that's awesome. I'm
00:08:54
a zatty. I have style. What's the Z? I don't know. Just zesty. Zesty, dude. That's gay. Zesty means gay. But zesty
00:09:02
is kind of cool in California. No, but zesty in in young talk is gay. I'm an older man, right? I'm stylish, charming,
00:09:09
and self-confident. But look at what zesty mean. But you're not self-confident. What am I? You require other outside
00:09:16
validation for the and inside though. I do sometimes inside. All right. So that's [ __ ] up what you just said. Yes, I quote cry a lot outside. Lazesty
00:09:23
typically means having a lively spirited and pleasing character often. What are you doing? Look at me. A lot lively. Hello. It's often context to suggest a
00:09:30
person behavior is effeminite or flamboyantly gay. Oh, can you be metrosexual? That term is
00:09:39
gone now. No one uses that anymore. I'm in Casablanc. Let's do Casablanca. Yo. Hello, my dear. Uh, you're being real
00:09:46
zesty right now. I'm trying to be zesty now.
00:09:52
Don't don't don't don't. Well, that that takes Dude, that doesn't improve my self-esteem right now, dude. I'm trying
00:09:58
to be real, dude. Frankly, you know what? I don't give a damn. That's not
00:10:03
cuz I'm blank. No. Well, I don't ever saw it. But that era. Yeah. Hello, my
00:10:10
lady. No, what? You sound like you're trying to sound like a white guy. Yeah. Yeah. Hello. More Asian. Yeah. More
00:10:16
Asian. Be a smooth Asian. Hello my lady. You hang out in Morocco
00:10:21
often. Here's rooking at you, kid. Could have never done that. Okay.
00:10:27
Here's a rooking out of you, kid. You be swuave. By the way, he's smoking a cigarette, squatting down when she gets
00:10:33
when guy. First of all, it's not it's opium. Yeah. Yeah. He is a rookie at Wait, zoom
00:10:39
into that one. That's the one. Zoom in. Yeah. You be you you be 1954. that brain
00:10:45
reeves and you're not with him, you would regret it. Maybe not a today,
00:10:51
maybe not a tomorrow, but a soon. And for the rest of your life,
00:10:57
dude, why can't we remake these in Asian characters? So funny.
00:11:04
Okay, you're trying to be zesty, dude. Don't do it. You are You try to be 1950s, I'll be Hello. Hey, kid. Hello.
00:11:13
What is your name? Why don't you take off that girdle and let me take it for a spin? Oh, that's how easy it is. You go
00:11:19
direct. Well, they were rude. They like said whatever they felt back then. You don't go would like would you like
00:11:25
something to Who owns you, kid? Who owns you? Yeah, a man. I'm doing it wrong. All right. Would you like to be in
00:11:31
chains? No. No. Too much. Too much. Well, you don't chain them up. Why? They
00:11:36
just tell them what to do. I have a cage back in my mansion. I'm too far. Yeah. Yeah, I got to fight
00:11:43
ride the line there. You know, by the way, I want this as a shirt for him and I. Okay, Bobby, I think this is the
00:11:49
beginning of a beautiful friendship. I want that on a shirt for us. That's the end of the movie, man. I never saw it,
00:11:55
you know. Now, yeah. Yeah. That's funny that you're such a cophile. The fact that you haven't seen that blows my
00:12:01
mind. Yeah, I should see it cuz you're a diehard cophile. In fact, someone else said that to me. They go, "Gross bud." I
00:12:06
seen that. Someone goes, "What's what's Bobby's like uh secret superpower?" And
00:12:12
I said, "His knowledge of cinema is way deeper than almost anybody of our friend
00:12:17
circle knows." I don't think many people know how deep it really goes. We joke on the show a little bit, but you really do
00:12:23
know a fuckload about movies. More than like No, dude. You're I'm nowhere near you. You're so niche. You've got all the
00:12:29
niche [ __ ] like laid in really well. Yeah. Fancy tries to compete because of all that film school nonsense. Yeah. But
00:12:35
he had taught that. I was street that. Correct. Yeah. I went to Blockbuster. You were learned. Yeah. Yeah. You were
00:12:41
learned like Last Tango in Paris, they edited. Do you know that they edited Blockbuster edited movies cuz they're
00:12:47
Mormons? Is this real? Yeah. So, when you saw Last Tango Paris like no sex and
00:12:53
my I was like 12 years old, but my dick out cuz I heard you mean there's a lot of nudity in Last Tango Tango in Paris
00:13:01
and I was just like, this can't be true to cuz I rented I rented Jerry McGuire from Blockbuster and the sex scene at the beginning I used to jerk off to all
00:13:06
the No, I mean really deep ones like uh like did they am I right or no? There was a there was a there was a rumor
00:13:12
regarding edits of the films from Blockbuster rental at the stores. That's not true. It's a it's a it's a uh it's a
00:13:19
So maybe maybe there was like a like a R-rated version. Well, I'm sure they did other rated versions for sale for sure.
00:13:26
Maybe that was Yeah. Do you want to give him his gift by now? Blockbuster was known to request and sometimes demand
00:13:32
edits to films in order to stock them, particularly in the '90s. Practice often tied to conservative ideologies. Oh, so it did happen. Yeah, there we go. But
00:13:38
it's at the request of the store. Yeah, that's exactly right. Somebody edited it in San Diego then. Yeah. So, we didn't
00:13:43
have I never heard of that. Yeah. Yeah. It was completely edited. San Diego is not a Mormon area, right, though? It's
00:13:49
very um conservative. Very Christian conservative. Yeah, that is true. Yeah. We I remember my my school was that kid
00:13:55
that like if you're gay, you're going to go to hell. You know, he wore that shirt and it was big controversy. You went to school with Trump?
00:14:02
No. No. Matt Gates. Bob, we have a crazy present for you.
00:14:07
I'd love it to see it. Um, this just happened over the weekend and we wanted to save it for the recording. Yeah, but
00:14:12
this came through your reps. What is this? I already got I already got a a a trophy. Is that what it is? No, it's not
00:14:19
a trophy. Well, hold time out. What's the trophy for? Borderlands. Worst movie ever? They make trophies for
00:14:26
that? No, it was IMDb's best um ensemble cast. Oh, that's cool. Who petitioned for
00:14:33
that, dude? That's a political I put it in my mantle. No, but that's a political move. That's insane. It doesn't matter.
00:14:38
I I as I treat it like it's an Oscar. I wipe it every day. Trophy The trophy should have just been a big bomb. All
00:14:45
right, we got this from your reps here. Yeah. Yeah. What is it? Let me see here. I'm just going to do this. White House.
00:14:50
Yeah. Shut the [ __ ] It's crazy, dude. Bobby Lee. Mr. Dear Mr. Lee, as you probably saw, Bill Maher was just at the
00:14:57
White House for dinner with myself, Bob Kidrock, and Dana. Many people love that he came and had dinner with me and had
00:15:02
nothing but amazing things to tell the people. He had a wonderful time. I hope you call and ask him. I spoke to my son Baron this weekend who I'm sure you know
00:15:08
and he recommended you so highly that I had to have us reach out immediately. You come very highly recommended Mr.
00:15:13
Lee. So we would like to invite you to the White House for dinner. Shut the [ __ ] up. In the state dining room this
00:15:18
Wednesday. Is that Donald's? Is that Donald's signature? I very strongly believe you'll see that. I If this one
00:15:24
of your tricks, I swear to God I will lose my mind, dude. Dude, this is crazy. This is a don another donut. No. Look,
00:15:30
it's from Matt. It's from your agent. I got the email. Wait, I'm going to call my manager if it's real. No, it's your
00:15:35
agent. Yeah, call your agent. You can't go. You can't go. We're recording that day. Oh god. You and I have to go. No,
00:15:43
we're shooting. We're doing the voice over that day. We can't. What is it? On this. No, on Tuesday you're doing that.
00:15:48
On Wednesday, he can go. He can fly out Wednesday morning.
00:15:53
Call a call. Who? Well, who get who gave it to you? Uh, CIA. I'm just going to call Abby. She She must know about it.
00:15:59
Oh my. Cuz if she doesn't know about it, then it's not real. Why the [ __ ] do you get an invite and I don't get a [ __ ] Dude, I'm very knowledgeable about our
00:16:07
politics and tariffs. Yeah. I'm I'm Chinese, dude. We're going to no negotiate. Oh, that's what it is. He
00:16:12
wants you to negotiate the tariffs. Yeah. Maybe for Korea or something. Wow. Yeah. Are you being [ __ ] real
00:16:19
right now, dude? It's insane. Great manager. It's a Sunday. What the
00:16:27
[ __ ] does that mean? We're working. CIA has a night time forwarded. Oh, [ __ ]
00:16:33
Call your [ __ ] agent, Matt. Yeah. You think Matt Black will know? Yeah, he's on. It's Look, he's copied on the
00:16:39
[ __ ] Oh, I'm going to call him right now. He'll pick up. He'll pick up for sure. I needed to get to the bottom of this. I'm so sorry. This is so weird.
00:16:45
No, no, you got to frame that. I got to frame it. Do you have it physically or no? No.
00:16:51
Print it out for me, thanks. Yeah, we'll put on nice paper. We have to frame that and put that up in the studio. Look at Trump's signature.
00:16:57
Trump signed it. Wants you to come to the Hold on. Wow. Well, because Baron likes me. Yeah, I think he watches.
00:17:04
That's the same thing he did with Theo and all those guys. Your call has been forwarded. Oh my god.
00:17:10
So, um, what a team. What a team. Yeah. And by the way, the
00:17:15
Sunday excuse, that's such a croc of [ __ ] Yeah. Okay, but let me ask you something. Okay. Is your phone on? Yeah.
00:17:23
Let me ask you something. I'll see if they call. They'll call. This is so annoying. Why wouldn't I get invited?
00:17:28
Because you're not He knows. What does he know? I I'm more, you know, mean
00:17:33
educated when it comes to the, you know, I mean, economics and jurisdictions and,
00:17:38
you know, I mean, tariffs and whatnot. What the [ __ ] are you talking about? Well, he knows about my expertise on all
00:17:45
things, not just golf and bowling. He loves both of those things. He golfs
00:17:51
more than he does presidential [ __ ] Okay. But I'm just saying he also when they see me on camera, they see the
00:17:57
wisdom. Who's the most golfed president of all time? It that's not has nothing to do with [ __ ] dude. Did you get an
00:18:03
invite for the president of the United States? I'm the guy. [ __ ] you. Shut up. You mean Hey, that is crazy. I will. I
00:18:10
can't go because we have [ __ ] to do. What do you mean you can't go? You have to go. Do I really have to go? Do they
00:18:16
fly you out? Yes. What the [ __ ] are you talking about? Do you Who do you think this is?
00:18:21
Are you jealous that you get to go to the White House? Yeah, man. What the [ __ ] are you talking about? But if if we
00:18:27
both could go, would you go? If we both can go, would I go? Yeah, I want to go. So why can't you be my
00:18:33
guest? That's not a real thing. You don't get to just [ __ ] say I'm bringing somebody. No plus ones. There's no You can't You can't go, hey, I'm
00:18:40
bringing a friend. That's insane. Maybe if you were, can I be your wife?
00:18:46
You're Melania. You're my Melania. I will go with you to my house. Yeah, this is my wife. She was in a
00:18:55
fire. I was I was burned. Yeah. He's not She's not redhead. She's actually from
00:19:01
Slovakia near where Melania is from. I'm from Slovakia, but I was in fire. In a fire. Yeah. And my teeth burned off.
00:19:07
Yeah. And she loves plunging into lava. I'm a big plunger. Yeah. So that's why
00:19:14
the distortion. You're going to kill it at dinner. You think so? Let's hear. Let's hear. Will you be Trump? Wonderful
00:19:21
to meet you, Bobby. What do you think, Bobby? What do you think of the White House? It's the whitest house I've ever had. It's really pleasant to meet you,
00:19:27
Bar. I mean, Donald, I [ __ ] up already. Oh my god. This is the dining room you'll be in. Oh my god, dude. Who
00:19:34
else is my crew? I have to know who my crew is. They're not going to tell you. Kid Rock will probably be there again.
00:19:39
Yeah, I think he goes a bunch. He's got a h he's got a room there. Now, did Would Did Bill get scorched for
00:19:47
going? No, I don't think so. What do you mean? A little bit. Did he? But did it I don't think it mattered. Left. From the
00:19:54
left. Yeah, he is. He is left. It's a little senator feel. Yeah, it changed
00:19:59
recently. Oh my god, this is so exciting. I've never had anything. You
00:20:05
know what? Honestly, dude, if this is false, you're going to break my heart if it's one of your little shenanigans.
00:20:11
Acorns. Today's episode is sponsored by Acorns. Acorns is a financial wellness app that makes it easy to start saving
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tree hole because winter's coming. Winter is coming. Winter even might be here. What's the best piece of a money
00:20:30
advice that you ever got, Bobby? Mine was save some. Yeah. Have some fun, but
00:20:36
make sure Yeah. You got a little something hidden away in the mattress. And now we're not doing mattresses anymore. My grandfather said take be
00:20:42
squirrel. Be squirrel. Take a pull a hole. Put it there. Yeah. Bobby's a little bit older than me. He's been
00:20:48
saving a little bit longer cuz he's smarter than me as well. I just recently started kind of actually putting away for the future. I don't have kids, okay?
00:20:55
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00:21:50
Oh, what? Your flat feet. Oh, my flat. Oh, your shoulder. Oh, my shoulder. Oh, my shoulder is because of my flat feet.
00:21:55
I need to go see a doctor. How do I go find one? You got to get you you got to go to Zuck. And I'll tell you what it is. Zachduck is a free app, Andrew, and
00:22:01
website where you can search and compare highquality in network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment. Oh, I
00:22:08
know about Zach, right? Because you can filter for doctors that take your insurance. They're located near you, right? And then also uh they they kind
00:22:15
of have like um an actual booking appointments. You can do it and instantly book. You click a visit right
00:22:21
away, right? Yeah. Wow. And appointments made through ZT Talk. Andrew, I don't know if you know this, also happen super
00:22:26
fast. Typically within uh 70 24 to 72 hours of booking and you can even score
00:22:32
same day appointments. You think I can get an appointment for my neck? Yeah. Okay, good. And and honestly, I need it
00:22:37
really bad because I want someone that's in my neighborhood and I want real patient reviews. Did they do that? Yeah, you 100% do it. Oh god. Well, then can
00:22:43
you tell me how to where do I go? And I I got to Well, I got to tell you something else before that. Right. Stop putting off those doctor's appointment,
00:22:48
Andrew, and go to zdoc.com/badfriends to find and instantly book a toprated doctor today.
00:22:54
I'm not good at spelling. Is that zoocdocc.com/badfriends? I'm not good at either, but I think you
00:23:00
got it right. I think it's zdock.com/badfriends. Yep.
00:23:06
Did you see that? It was It was like um the family that died in the Hudson. Can't stop thinking about it. I don't
00:23:11
know, dude. I can't stop thinking about this family that died in the hut. I don't know anything about it. So, explain it to me. I really don't know anything about it. I've just been
00:23:17
watching the Chinese tariff stuff. Let me tell you something. No one knows enough about it. That's the scariest part. This helicopter like broke in
00:23:22
midair and the only thing we know is he was he was high up at Seammens, the uh
00:23:28
tech uh technology company. Oh no. A New York City sightseeing helicopter broke apart and crashed into the huts of
00:23:34
Riffen Ridge near New Jersey shoreline, killing the pilot and a Spanish family of five were on board. piece of the
00:23:39
aircraft can be found. Blah blah blah. How did it happen? Witnesses described seeing the helicopter's tail and main rotor break away. Smoke pouring from the
00:23:46
spinning chopper. It slammed in the water. Victims uh were Austin Escobar. Uh oh, that's a tough last name to have.
00:23:52
His wife Marie Kamuchcci Montal and the three children Victor Mercedes Augustine
00:23:57
and Kia an executive at Seammens was in the New York area on business. I mean, this is [ __ ] insane. You don't find
00:24:03
this crazy? You don't think this is this is conspiratorial? Oh, it's conspiracy. Did helicopters just break? Is this a
00:24:08
thing that happens? Lily, are they fishermen? Fishermen? What does that mean? Like a
00:24:15
seaman? No. Seamans, the like the phone company, you know, Seammens. S I E I mean electronics. Oh, I don't know.
00:24:21
Sorry. Maybe delete that. That was so dumb. No, it was actually really good. I want that out there. That was so dumb. No, do that at Trump. Was it was Aquaman
00:24:28
there? Yeah, he Were there dolphins?
00:24:34
Bobby, is this you? Uh, here. There's a bunch of people on the internet saying that this might be you. Okay, let's see it. Zoom in a little bit more, please.
00:24:43
Love it. Dude, I can't even do that. Try. I can't
00:24:50
do that. Yes, you can. No, I can't do it like that. All right. So, where do I do it? Start
00:24:56
it again so you can see it. [Laughter]
00:25:05
[Music] That chick's ripping, by the way. Yeah,
00:25:12
dude. So many people thought it was you. So 5,000 likes. Anybody else think this was Bobby
00:25:17
Lee? I mean, it's 100% you. That's insane. And the [ __ ] You know
00:25:23
what? Enough of the [ __ ] Korean deer. This [ __ ] I get tagged. Anyone that looks Asian, I got get I get the same
00:25:30
thing for redhead. I get the same thing if they're acting. And also, can I just say another All right, stop. Can I just
00:25:35
say another thing, my friend? All right, stop yelling out Down syndrome out of your car. Why? I'm walking down the
00:25:41
street, people just yell at Down syndrome. And I I I don't even And then there's people around me and looking at me like as if I have it. [ __ ] you. I get
00:25:48
Bobby's mom all day long. You do, right? You look right by and yell it out, right? All day long. Yeah. It's like
00:25:54
it's it doesn't stop. You know what I mean? I sat next to our good buddy David Chang
00:26:00
on the way back home, by the way. Oh, hello. You love Dave Chang. I love him so much. He's the best. You know, he's
00:26:05
he's in he tore his rotator cuff. Is that a He's in like an arm He's in
00:26:11
like an arm sling. I thought it was cooking equipment. I'm really off today.
00:26:16
Or maybe it was his labor some. Whatever it was, he tore some. He's in an arm sling. Wow. Okay. Is Is he dying? He's on He's
00:26:25
on his way out. No, I'm saying you should wish him well. Be like, "I heard about your Dave, wish you well. I'm sorry about your Why don't you text him?
00:26:31
Shoot him a text." I should What? Really? Brag. Brag. Be like, "Hey, sorry about your arm. I'm inv I got invited to the White House." Okay.
00:26:38
Have you been to the White House? Say that. What an invite. I don't think I
00:26:44
have his number. Yeah, you do. David Chang. Yeah. There
00:26:50
we go. I'm going to say, What do I say? You compose it for me. I heard you. I heard. I heard.
00:26:59
I heard. I heard about the injury. I'll just say I heard. I heard. That's it. Send. Get well. Yeah. Get well.
00:27:08
Get well soon. P.S. Yeah. Got invited to the White House. No. Why? Okay. Because
00:27:15
if it's wrong, I feel like they're trolling me. These people are trolling me. Who? These guys. What about the White House? Where did the email come
00:27:21
from? The first one, Matt, that's for What did Abby say? Oh, Aby's on this email. Yeah, I know. I got
00:27:27
the email from your assistant. Oh, look what it says. Sunday night got back to them. Thank you so much. Forward on
00:27:34
Andres, the White House press secretary. Oh my god. Look at this, Bob.
00:27:42
What? Caroline Levit, press White House press secretary. Oh, this is the original email. Wait. Caroline Levit.
00:27:50
That's what it says. That's who reaches out. You know who that is, right? Yeah. The press secretary. Yeah. Wow. On
00:27:56
behalf of Nothing from you. I'm reaching out. I'm I'm a little [ __ ] annoyed. I want to go. Well, every year I mean, you
00:28:02
know, Barack invited me, Biden invited me. You know, it's just my every
00:28:07
president invites me, you know, so it's just my thing. Cool. But I'm a man of the world and you're not. You're like
00:28:12
America, you know. Yeah. Yeah. You're going to the White House. America. Yeah.
00:28:18
I also seen uh other places. Where? Mone. The guy right back there. No, the
00:28:25
Paris guy. Macan. Macron. Macarron. Macaroon. Macaroon. It's
00:28:34
delicious. Have you met Croissant? I have. I have. No. Do I? You know. Come
00:28:39
on. I would never go to anywhere like that. This might end the show actually without you. No. This might this
00:28:45
actually might end the show. Why? Cuz it's this you're without you I don't go. You're obviously a superstar. You've
00:28:51
left me in the dust. You're doing a lot. Con is nodding. And that's true. You've left me in the dust. You're doing your own thing. It's fine. You're I You
00:28:57
mentioned Theo. You're in my You mentioned Theo right away. The first thing you said was because of Theo. Your
00:29:02
your best buddy, your closest confidant. You're in Why can't you see me part eight
00:29:09
with the magic? That's good. Maybe they'll give me a shitty trophy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, is this what we're gonna
00:29:14
do? Right. It'll actually be a good movie. Did you get one for House Party? I gotta call my agent.
00:29:24
Anyway, God, we're in a lot of bad movies, eh? Yeah. You know, we're dead. Would they
00:29:30
in the business? Well, we're dead in the business. We're dead in the business. We're 100. Do you ever think that all the time? Are you kidding me? Yeah. I
00:29:35
like We were so dead in the business, but we created our own thing. Created our own show. Yeah. Yeah. But we are
00:29:41
dead in Hollywood. And our animated show, we just did an animatic for and it's gonna come out. They gave us the news. It's gonna come out in 2028.
00:29:47
That's a while. Right around the corner. Yeah. It's actually, no joke, is 2027. That's literally when the show is going
00:29:52
to come out. When they said that, I almost was like, I can't even believe that's a thing. Yeah. But you know what? That's a thing. It's an opportunity. I'm
00:29:58
happy. Yeah. I'm happy we're going to be able to do it. But guess what, guy? I've been think I've been going to therapy
00:30:04
and I've been thinking a lot about it. A lot about it. And um I'm on if if I look
00:30:11
at my phone. What does it say? This is it.
00:30:16
This is it. Strokes. That Yeah, that's a good album. It's a great album. I know. But this is you and me together sitting
00:30:24
here with our pals. Oh, I know what happened. What? You like saw one of those David Foster Wallace things and
00:30:29
now you're [ __ ] hung on like this is water. I know what's going on. Everybody goes through this. You're having like a
00:30:36
David Foster Wallace moment where you're like two fish are swimming in the ocean and one is
00:30:41
like what's water? It's like you're in it, man. You have to be one with water. Now
00:30:49
you're Bruce Lee. Yeah, Bruce Lee. Dude, want can flow between Do you know what I'm referring to? David Foster Wallace.
00:30:55
Like every college kid reads this book. Yeah, it's actually beautiful. Well, tell me some of the concepts and I'll
00:31:01
agree with that. Infinite gest. But there's a there's a look up David Foster Walliff. This is water. Look up. This is
00:31:06
water. It's actually beautiful. Okay. But you're on this kick and I really I shouldn't [ __ ] on it. I love you.
00:31:13
But it's incredible. This is water is amazing. Okay. Have you read it? I have. Infinite Jest. Uh pretty pretty amazing.
00:31:20
This is water. Give me just give me the gist of the book.
00:31:26
The idea is this. Yeah. Oh, this is it. There it is. There are these two young fish swimming along. They happen to meet an older fish swimming the other way.
00:31:32
Wait, wait, hold on. Okay. No, no. I just There are too young a fish. That's not what I'm saying. I don't know. Okay,
00:31:38
I got to visualize it. So, close your eyes. Close your eyes. And there's two fish. There two and there's a bit older fish. Two young fish swimming along.
00:31:44
They Does it matter what kind or one is one is a carp and the other one is a uh one of those [ __ ] Nemo ones or
00:31:50
whatever. Goldfish. No, the one with the clown fish. Clown fish? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Two clown fish, baby. Baby ones. Two baby clown fish are swimming along
00:31:57
and a great white's going and they happen to meet at the Great White's going the other way. going the other way. Okay. Who nods at them and says,
00:32:02
"Morning boys. How's the water?" That's not what he sounds like. It's a great white. Morning boys. Yeah, that's what
00:32:08
it How's the water? Yeah, exactly. And the two young fish, the two young clown fish, they swim for a bit and eventually
00:32:13
one of them looks at the other one and goes, "What the hell is water?" In this moment, you're worried I plan to
00:32:19
present myself as the wise old fish explaining what water is to young fish. Please don't be. I'm not the old wise
00:32:24
fish. The immediate point of the fish story is that the most obvious, ubiquitous, important realities are often the ones that we are hardest to
00:32:30
see and talk about. What it is is we're taking not taking stuff for granted. What it says on your phone is what this
00:32:36
is. What I don't get that analogy. I swear to God I don't. You know, I'm not good
00:32:42
with riddles either, so I don't know. This is it. This is water. You're we're someone you'll look back in 20 years or
00:32:49
10 maybe. I don't know how long you're going to make it, but you know, and you know what? That that right there is what I'm going to the White House by feel bad
00:32:55
about. I knew it. You're a [ __ ] piece of [ __ ] You won't be dead in 10 years. Thank you. Anyway, with you and me, two
00:33:01
young fish are swimming along in the ocean. One takes a giant [ __ ]
00:33:09
and a beautiful female fish comes by. What the [ __ ] is wrong with you guys? Yeah. All right, listen. Okay, you're
00:33:15
This is it. I'm being in all genuine respect because I love you and I respect you. Because a lot of times you go you
00:33:20
go you're in the moment. You're living a lot of times you go oh well we're doing this Hulu show. It comes down to when that happens it's going to be great and
00:33:27
right you have to live in it now. Yeah. I mean when I meet the one that when that happens it's like this is it. This is it. You mean we're I'm living life
00:33:34
now. We're the leads of our movie. This is water. This is water. I understand. This is water. Yeah. This is water. You
00:33:39
have to be one with you know Bruce Lee. Okay. I get it. But this is water. You're dead on Bruce Lee then. Do it
00:33:45
again then. This you have to be one with water. What? You got peanut butter in your mouth? What are you doing? Yeah, he
00:33:50
loved peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. That's what killed him. That is that true? Yeah. Yeah. Bruce Lee died from DBJ. I don't know. I don't know.
00:33:56
But um but I'm happy that you're on this new kick. What made you do this? Therapy got you to this. This is This is it.
00:34:04
Yes. Bruce Lee incorporated peanut butter into his diet, particularly as a component of protein. No, I would I didn't have to look it up. Bruce Lee was
00:34:10
highly against jelly, however. Yeah. Interesting. Okay. Doesn't say that on there, but my point is is this. Okay.
00:34:17
Um, well, you know, I went Bobby, you look a lot like Bruce Lee. I wanted to tell you that. You know that's what he's
00:34:23
going to say, right? Oh my god. My son Baron said, "You're you're a wonderful funny guy." I think you're a very funny
00:34:29
guy. I love Mad TV. I love Mad TV. Wow. Wow. I love Mad TV. What I don't like about Mad TV is Yeah, they had a lot of
00:34:35
DEI. I didn't like the DEI. I mean, I mean, could I say that I voted for Kamla or No. What? That's rude. Yeah, you can.
00:34:43
But then would I get kicked out? No. He'd go, "And I won, didn't I? I won." I go, "Yes, sir. You good job." You have
00:34:49
to bow. I would do it. I would be a [ __ ] You would 100%. I would tremble. I would shake. I
00:34:55
Yeah. Yeah. Your excellency. Yeah. Yeah. No, but um this is water. I'm glad you're going through this in therapy.
00:35:01
Well, it's because, you know, I went through some depression and then I was like, I got to get out of this and then just go go back to my techniques of, you
00:35:07
know, being grounded in in reality because a lot of things you read on the internet or that the things that occur
00:35:14
in your mind aren't real. That's incredible though. Yeah, you do feel this way that you're getting to a place
00:35:19
where you're accepting reality. You feel really good. I feel so good and I appreciate that. I thank you. I thank
00:35:25
you more. I'd like you I'd like you to take me to the White House. Yeah. Yeah, you will. Listen, um, yeah, when Pete
00:35:32
Budachet is [ __ ] uh, president, which will never happen, so you'll go then. My
00:35:38
point is is this. All right. I want to tell Bad Friends fans this. All right. There we'd be no I don't even know how
00:35:43
to speak. There would be no Bad Friends if it wasn't for Andrew because I'm so lazy and aloof, right? So, he organizes
00:35:52
everything and this machine, he's the captain of the ship. You know what I mean? You are. Take me to dinner. That's
00:35:58
all I want. Just take me to the theater all the time. All right. Thank you for saying that. Anyway, it's very nice.
00:36:04
Yeah. Stop this. Hey, can I can I tell you something right now? Yeah. Speaking of bad friends fans, what are you doing?
00:36:10
You're reading text from your agents and stuff. What do they say? I want to look. What did they say? No, it's from the somebody. Let's move on. Is it from a
00:36:17
friend? Yeah. What did they say? What
00:36:23
plans? What about plans? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, no. No. Oh no. Yeah. Yeah.
00:36:29
Yeah. How about plan? I'm excited to go to London and Dublin. I'm actually so excited to go do these shows. I miss
00:36:34
doing shows. Bad friend shows. But it's also why can't we stay in these towns for longer? I mean, they're so back to
00:36:40
back. We are. We got to go earlier then. No, no, no. What's going to happen is Yeah. We'll go early to London and then
00:36:46
when we go to Dublin the next day, we can stay in Dublin a little while. Oh. So, we'll go three days in London. Sure.
00:36:52
Then do the show and then go to Ireland and then spend the next three days in Ireland. Sure. cuz I want to see your
00:36:57
shamrocks and all that stuff here. I mean, all the things that you want to see where I grew up. Yeah. Yeah. Out on the valley. Well, because you know
00:37:04
redheads have to come from Ireland. No, we're more That's where your people come from. There's more Scots in Scots and
00:37:09
English that are Irish than than But you're Italian. How does the redhead thing happen? Well, when two people love
00:37:15
each other very much. Tell me, explain. And they come from two different places. My mother's Irish, my dad's Italian.
00:37:20
How? That's not hard math. Oh, so you're half. Your mom is Korean and your dad is
00:37:27
Sorry. Your dad is Korean and your mom is That's it. That's it. I got it
00:37:32
confused. Yeah. Did you get enough sleep last night? No sleep. Yeah. Me either. I've had no sleep in so long. By the
00:37:39
way, on this tour that I was just on these like 10 12 days I was gone, I don't think I got one night of good sleep. And by the way, in
00:37:45
Miami is it's too much. It's [ __ ] too much.
00:37:51
There's every night someone's like, "Hey, come to this thing. Come to this thing." And I can't say no because I feel like I'm supposed to. It's part of
00:37:57
the job. I'm supposed to go out with these people. That's one show we never did. Miami. Miami. Yeah. No. Didn't we
00:38:02
pay Fort Lauderdale? Hollywood. Yeah. We did. We did. We did. But that's up north. That's different. Yeah. Miami Beach is It's just insane. You me Logan.
00:38:10
We could have a good time there. Logan Roy Paul. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Jake. Jake. Paul. I mean, we had a good time though.
00:38:17
Oh, yeah. We had dinner at Newu. Yeah. That was nice. It was nice. Yeah. Did he fly you out on a jet? No, but first
00:38:23
class, right? Mhm. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. I know. You asked him as if he was on the plane with you. I was. You were?
00:38:30
I went to Miami with him. I didn't know that. Yeah, he went. What did you guys do in Miami? We went to Nou. Yeah,
00:38:35
that's it. And he came to this gig with me. He's like my handler. What's a gig? You performed? No, I did this podcast.
00:38:40
But he acts as if my lean. Yeah, we hung out. Had a couple dinners. It was fun. Yeah. They paid for it. Wow. Yeah. Yeah.
00:38:47
You know, me and Carlos hang out. No, you don't. Have we gone to other places?
00:38:52
Mhm. Yeah. Been here a long time ago. Yeah. With Charlie on Third Street. The
00:38:58
Chinese place. Charlie Finn. Mhm. I love that guy. Yeah. Good times. My friend
00:39:03
Charlie Finn. I like him. You know him? No. I like his work. I don't know him. I
00:39:09
like him. I like his sweet face. He's my best friend. He was my best friend before
00:39:14
you. 15 years ago. He's my best friend. Wow. You could switch. You could switch
00:39:19
bad friends. I mean, best friends. I mean, look at that sitcom. I remember that. It's like three guys in a girl in
00:39:25
a pizza place or whatever. Hot dog on a stick. Uh-oh. Hot dog on a stick.
00:39:31
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's really good. Honestly. Yeah. Why did you lose contact with Charlie Finn? He moved. Well, you
00:39:37
can't call him. No, we call We talked to each other. I'm trying to get him to do standup. Wait, he did. He used to do standup. No, he just doesn't know what
00:39:44
to do out there. Why did he move there? I mean, you know, let's be honest, for a
00:39:50
during this woke age of acting, white dudes took a second. You know what I
00:39:55
mean? There's so many white dudes and they're using more minorities. Speak on it, brother. You know what I mean? That this is good white house fire. This will
00:40:02
go far. No, I'm I'm just his point of view. I'm not my point of view. I'm glad he's out.
00:40:08
Get out of here, Charles. But, you know, that's what happened. Well, he missed me. He called me. Who did? Uh, Matt.
00:40:14
Call him. Okay. By the way, Cubs Cubs took two out of three from the Dodgers. I was at the game last night. 16 to nothing. Hey, Bobby. You're on Bad
00:40:21
Friends. You don't have to answer much. Okay. What's that? You're on Bad Friends. You don't have to answer much.
00:40:27
You don't have to talk that much. I'm just going to ask you a question. Okay. Is that email real from the White House?
00:40:35
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00:43:06
plan. That's right. I got called to the White House to have dinner with Donald Trump.
00:43:13
Uh I don't know about it. We're on Bad Friends. Um I don't know. I'll find out.
00:43:19
Okay, but if if they're if these guys are playing a trick on me, dude, I'm going to fire them. Who? [ __ ] these
00:43:27
[ __ ] pieces of [ __ ] Anyway, find out if it's real. Love you. All right. Bye. Bye. Bye. Honestly, one of the best agents in the
00:43:33
business. Carlo Carlos, come here. No, I'm hiding. Yeah, because it's not real, right? What do you Come here. No, listen
00:43:41
to me right now, dude. What I'm saying to you is is that it's like the donut thing. I don't like when I'm being
00:43:46
tricked. Yeah. Yeah. And then I brought you donuts the next episode. Am I being tricked now? No, it happened all this
00:43:52
weekend. How does my agent not know about it? He does. It's just a lot of stuff going on this weekend. He's probably watching the Masters. Abby
00:43:58
would know. Your manager. Okay. Yeah. Well, then we're good. Yeah, I promise you. Call Abby. Oh my god. Or maybe even
00:44:05
Theo because Yeah. No, not Theo, dude. He invited you. Yeah. You don't invited.
00:44:11
I assume Kid Rock will be there. If Abby doesn't pick up right now, I'm going to lose my mind. Why? cuz it's just like
00:44:17
I'm called her three times. She's not picking up. That's I'm her only client. Does she Does she live alone? Hello. Hi,
00:44:23
Abby. Hi. Is that email or correct real that the White House one?
00:44:32
Which one? What? I was invited to the White House by Donald Trump.
00:44:40
Your email or mine? You're on. You're CCed on it. Yeah, you're CCed on it.
00:44:47
Hold on. When When did you get it? When did she check her emails? When did I get it? No, they didn't email you. They
00:44:54
emailed Matt. Oh, CA. CIA. They emailed CA and you and you're tagged in it. Is that not real? Okay. Could you get me
00:45:00
off the podcast? Yeah, you're on the podcast. Yeah. Yeah, I I figured that. No, it didn't happen. It didn't happen.
00:45:07
Okay. Thank you so much. All right. Bye.
00:45:15
Hell of a forgery, huh? I'm so [ __ ] mad. You have no idea how mad I am. Why? What? I texted that thing to a girl I'm
00:45:22
hanging out with. So before you did anything, you told all
00:45:29
your friends to show like, bro, you said that to some. Why did you said that?
00:45:34
What did she say? What did she say? Can I call? She's No, it's not real. I was
00:45:40
tricked by my employees. say employees. That's such a funny text
00:45:46
message you get. It's not real. I was tricked by my employees. You think Bezos
00:45:51
writes that ever? It's not real. Attention, Amazon workers. It's not
00:45:58
real. You guys are evil little demons, dude. Who came up with that? Carlos,
00:46:04
dude, he took the credit. Who forged it? You did. Did you guys have anything to
00:46:10
do with it? Nothing. No way. You You want to play these games? It's
00:46:16
It's war. No, there's no war. Yeah, it's it's it's war for all three of you. Listen to me. Okay, Bob, please. No, I'm
00:46:22
being real. I'm being real. It's war. How? The donuts is one thing. You made
00:46:29
me look like a fool in front of this person I'm seeing, right? And she's like, "You just met her. You went on one
00:46:34
date." Also, you're not seeing her. It's a good joke. She probably thinks it's funny. Yeah, you're You think she thinks
00:46:40
that's [ __ ] up? That's funny. Okay. Well, I think it's [ __ ] up. I don't like being tricked and and and and um
00:46:46
bamboozled. I think that's the right word. He's never done anything like this before. So, there's some bamboo
00:46:51
bamboozling coming your way, but this is Korean style, right? So, it's a little harsher, right? And it's there's some
00:46:58
implications and it's going to get What do you mean? Career implications. You know what I mean? And there's a lot
00:47:04
of like you think that I'm I don't respond to your text now. What do you think is going to happen
00:47:09
now? Chachi 100% this dude GTA too. She texted me again. Let me see what she said.
00:47:15
The movie you wrote. What did she say? She laughed. See, I told I got you a laugh. The movie that you wrote with
00:47:21
Benji. Never going to do it. You know what? Can I tell people you're attached? No. I'm never going to do it. I promise.
00:47:27
Like his zombie movie, right? I'm never doing both of those things now. Right. He had nothing to do with it. and Mone,
00:47:33
you jibbering little goof face. All right, you [ __ ] I know things, too,
00:47:39
man. Get him, dude. Yeah, but I'm not going to say [ __ ] Okay, can can I be honest with you? Yeah, it's not you.
00:47:45
You're my best friend. Well, no, I'm not a part of it, but but honestly, yeah, it's kind of funny. It's very funny. Yeah, it's pretty funny. It's so good.
00:47:53
No, it's good. Well, it was really good. But you know what? I I like I like to cause laughter, too. Yeah, you have. And
00:48:00
I like to I like to spread joy, too. So, I'm going to spit some joy your way on your expense. Have they ever Have they
00:48:06
Has he ever deceived you before? Yes. All the time. Beyond the donuts. Oh. Oh, yeah. The water. What water? From from
00:48:15
Air1 water. The Awan sink water. I remember all those things. That was a good bit. And they're little little little stab wounds in my heart. What's
00:48:21
another one they got? I don't remember. There's been so many. They're not stab wounds. They're kisses. They're not kisses. They're comedy kisses. Yeah. And
00:48:26
me not doing your movie is a kiss. All right. Fine. I'll just get zombie
00:48:32
any other comic kiss. You hear what he said? What? Get get
00:48:39
Carlos. What up? I know. You know what? I'm acting foolish. Oh, so you will do it? No, I
00:48:46
don't think I can do that. I have to read it first. But um that was a really No, honestly, dude, you're right. You
00:48:52
know, honestly, dude, that was really good. Thanks, Bob. And you know, I I'm really going to laugh about it later. I'll tell you that. This is so
00:48:59
threatening. It's not. It's Korean threatening like staring. I enjoy it.
00:49:04
You know, it's Wow. But if you retaliate, I'll just hit back.
00:49:10
Like, whoa. Oh, what? So, it's You said there was We're in a tariff war now. No,
00:49:15
you said that's what you hit me back. I hit you back. You started the [ __ ] war. You'll see.
00:49:21
Right. If he starts Let me ask you about war. I don't know much about war. Yeah. All right. You're a general. Uhhuh. We
00:49:28
got Hey boss, what do you want? Chang. No, Phillip
00:49:35
Williams. Philip Williams in this scenario. Right, right, right, right. Yes, Philly. Yeah,
00:49:42
Phillip. Sure. Okay. Anyway, guy. Oh my god. Bellarus just shot a rocket at San
00:49:50
Francisco. Bellarus. Yeah, Bellarus. The country. Yeah. Good. Dude, we got to get rid of
00:49:57
that [ __ ] [ __ ] hole anyway. So, what do we do? No, they bomb San Francisco. Yeah, that's fine with me. Oh, I'm San
00:50:04
Francisco now. Is what I am. Oh, yeah. You know, I love San Francisco. On your tombstone, Bobby
00:50:09
Lee. I'm San Francisco. Dude, that letter looks so good. It's [ __ ] great. It's so great. Yeah. What a
00:50:15
wonderful thing. Wow. But what Bill Mahar ate at the White House. That's real. Yeah. And he said, No, was what he
00:50:21
got flagged for is he was super a nice guy. Mhm. Who was Bill Maher that Donald
00:50:27
Trump was? Oh, he was saying he was a nice guy. Yeah. He was like he's not what you think he is when he's on, you
00:50:33
know what I mean? Camera, you know, on the side. He's like just a regular guy. I'm sure. Yeah. I'm sure. Just like
00:50:39
everybody you meet. Yeah. Like, hey man, pull my finger. You know what I mean? All that kind of stuff. He's doing pull my finger stuff. I don't know. He whoopy
00:50:44
cushion somebody in the [ __ ] White House. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I think you just destroyed this this date
00:50:50
that I Dude, it destroyed it. Yeah. Yeah. Makes it better. It makes me like a mean. I'm the blind following the
00:50:57
blind toward a cliff. Yeah. Yeah.
00:51:04
Yeah. We all fall. Do you have a date with this person coming up again? Probably done now. No way. Cuz I'm a
00:51:09
loser. No chance, dude. Thanks, guy. How many times have you gone out with her? I can't believe I fell for
00:51:15
it. That's what make That's where the shame is. I was like I felt like and
00:51:20
then slamming you like you didn't get invited. That was foolish of me. Yeah, it was. Wow. Yeah, you would definitely
00:51:25
get invited before me. No. And then the next time I don't know. No, but what is interesting the way you reacted? It was
00:51:31
very It was a good test. What was the test like? What was I like? Um gloating.
00:51:37
Gloaty. Yeah. Very self-indulgent. Really? Yeah. Well, cuz I was like, man, I want to go. And you're like, you don't
00:51:43
get invited to stuff like this. I'm more cultured. I'm more worldly. Yeah. You brought up Theo pretty quick.
00:51:48
You brought up Theo very quick. And that's fine, dude. Dude,
00:51:54
that's fine. This This is the worst time I've ever had on Bad Friends. I look
00:52:00
like a fool. No, you don't. Yeah. Yeah. You don't look like a fool. Yeah. You know what? I want to apologize. You look like a fool. I want I want to apologize
00:52:06
to everyone listening. Okay. I did believe it was true. I did gloat. I made
00:52:12
myself a fool. Right. And I'm blushing right now. You can't tell because when you yellow, it hits red. Stays yellow.
00:52:20
And um yellow mixes with red. Yeah. I'm blushing. Isn't that purple? Okay. Show
00:52:25
them your penis. That's exactly what it is. And I want to say that um I really
00:52:31
bought it. Yellow and red is brown. Yeah. That's why my face is brown. Is that That's those spots you have. Yeah.
00:52:40
When you mix red and yellow, you get the color orange. You get me. Yeah. Wow. Man, we are really like a We are really
00:52:47
like tied. We're tied together. Yeah, we're tied deep. But um very nice.
00:52:52
Thanks, Bobby. Thank you. Very, very nice. I feel like you're like on the edge of mania right now. He is. Oh, no.
00:52:59
I'm not. Oh my god. That would answer like a serial kill. No. No. No. Oh no, dude. I'm growing. No. Oh yeah. No,
00:53:06
you're not. This is it. This would be a good opportunity. This is it, dude. You mean this is the beginning? This is the
00:53:11
beginning of the end, right? Yeah. Yeah. But in a good way. Yeah. This is a great time to grow right now in this moment.
00:53:16
Yeah, I am. So, yeah, I'll do your movie. Hell yeah. Yeah, I'll do your
00:53:21
movie for sure. Hell yeah. And andreas, I'm going to do your movie. Thank you. You know what I mean? Hey, call me.
00:53:31
What is this? I just saw this online. I sent it to y'all, but y'all didn't respond.
00:53:38
Oh my god. Look. Okay.
00:53:44
Wow. Well, that's that's cool. She had to hold her breath. Yeah. Right there.
00:53:50
They like disconnected her life so she could Jesus. That's ter Carlos. That's awful. That's awful, dude. I I don't
00:53:56
think that's the right one. You find some really dark [ __ ] in that thing. Give me another Yeah, give me another one. Oh, you could put your finger in
00:54:02
it. Oh god, dude. Dude, your mind right now, dude. You're gross. You're gross, dude. You could put your finger in her
00:54:08
neck. That's insane. That is an insane video. All right, let's see what else. Can I say something real fast about this
00:54:13
before we move on? Look, I'm not laughing at this this young lady. This is not This is not a comedy video.
00:54:19
That's not funny. It's not funny. No, it's not funny. And let me say something. Let me say something else, though. Conversely, yeah. Why are they
00:54:27
putting that on the internet? If you want to share that with your family and friends, that's fine. This is a priv
00:54:32
private moment. If I had a baby like that, no one would even know.
00:54:37
Stop it. No, because of privacy, right? Privacy. Yeah. Would you do like a magazine spread like in people or
00:54:43
something? No, no, no, no. She would just be in the attic. If this guy married somebody famous, you know, he'd be the first one to get a people deal.
00:54:49
Oh, yeah. 100%. Who? You. Really? If you married a famous girl or a model that you wanted, you would 100% sell it to so
00:54:56
everyone would see it. See the this baby see your marriage and your wedding. You
00:55:01
know, people sell weddings to People magazine. You would do that 100% if like this this person that you're seeing now. Yeah. You would 100. You would tell the
00:55:09
press. No. I'm going to keep it private. Anyway, um we'll put her Instagram link
00:55:14
right below here. Click here to see her. Shut up, dude. Of course not. That's insane. Okay. I don't like that video.
00:55:20
Okay. Who's that? Shout out to Rory Maroy for winning uh winning the Masters. I I did think Justin Rose was
00:55:25
going to come back and win it, but he Irish. Northern Irish, though. Different side. That's upstairs, dude. We're down
00:55:32
downstairs, people. Also, um congratulations on Arsenal FC for beating Real Madrid in the first leg of
00:55:38
the Champions League. That's huge. We won three zero. Declan Rice, two free kicks. Oh my god, they were beautiful.
00:55:45
Two free kicks. He's never dude. This dude Declan Rice, we bought him for $100
00:55:51
million from West Ham. Bought him. The team bought him. I didn't buy. And so he
00:55:57
is an interesting way to talk about he's never made a free kick in his life. He
00:56:02
makes two free kicks in one game in a Champions League match against Real Madrid. Think about the amount of head
00:56:07
that guy's going to get. It it it was also at home. So, the Emirates went
00:56:13
crazy. I mean, it was like commentators were like I mean it was mindblowing.
00:56:18
They were perfect. The curvature, you know, I got to look it up. What turned What turned this guy
00:56:24
into such a magician in the in this in such an important moment. Well, he's a really good player. He's a very good defensive midfielder. He attacks too.
00:56:30
But I mean, uh the those two I don't know what it is. It's just like Say his name again. Uh Declan Rice. Declan Rice.
00:56:38
Yeah. And Yeah. See, he's on the cover of it of the uh the highlights. And so
00:56:44
Baka Saka turns to him and goes he's like, "What do I do?" And he goes, Bakaya goes, "If you feel it, just kick
00:56:51
it cuz he cuz they wanted him to cross the ball in." And he just felt it. And
00:56:57
I'm telling you, dude, it was beautiful. You have to understand, Real Madrid, every person on that team is an allstar.
00:57:04
It's like the, you know, Olympic basketball American team. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's like that's what Real
00:57:10
Madrid is. Wow. Yeah. It was unbelievable. And I mean, it was probably boring what I just said. It's a good-looking guy, this kid. Huh? Yeah.
00:57:17
And here's another thing. Stop shaming his girlfriend. What about What's wrong with her? People are like, "You could do better, but it's like their childhood
00:57:23
boyfriend, girlfriend. Who cares?" What's wrong with her? Why Why are you
00:57:29
laughing? I don't understand. Cuz I know why you brought that up. Why? Because you want us to shame his girlfriend. No.
00:57:36
No. That's Oh my god. Let me see. Go through some photos. She looks What's the What's the issue? Yeah. Bob, what's
00:57:42
the issue? Why? No. I love her. I would I would date her. What's the issue, Bob? People shame him going, "You could do
00:57:47
better." Like, you know, wags. You know what wags are? What is a wag? Wags are football um girlfriends or girl. Yeah.
00:57:54
Wives and girlfriends group. Yeah. Yeah. And they're And you know, if you look at like she's not high on the wag list. No,
00:58:02
I would put her high. No, you wouldn't. Yes, I would. We could hike together.
00:58:08
Look at wags. Just what wags are look like. These are wags. Yeah. Yeah. These are the wives and girlfriends of soccer
00:58:13
playing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And they're usually like a certain type. Hot. No, you know, go to the one like you
00:58:23
know they're wags and then people um go they shame Declan. Dean, you know what
00:58:29
what I love about Declan? goes, "She's the love of my life. [ __ ] off." Yeah. And I I love that. Yeah. You know what I
00:58:36
mean? You know, let me see his Why I don't understand the big deal here.
00:58:41
Yeah. Me either. Like if you know Yeah. She looks just like the others.
00:58:46
[ __ ] you, dude. If you're the problem with society, dude. Oh, that's very interesting. It's like It's like It's
00:58:53
like Andreas's wife. They probably go, "You can do better." But she's like,
00:58:59
"I'm in love." But I do think she can do better. I know she can, but she's like,
00:59:04
"I'm in love." What's that Japanese thing you're wearing? What does it say on your head? That's That's the Dodgers.
00:59:10
That's for Show Otani. Oh, yeah. He's great. I was at the Dodger game last night. We beat him 16 to nothing. Took the series. And I will say something.
00:59:16
The amount of baseball fans, Japanese and Asian fans, he's brought
00:59:23
is He's worth all the half a billion they gave him. Oh, yeah. Easily. Easily. He's brought so much [ __ ] money to
00:59:29
this team. Yeah, it look at the Dude, these stands are filled with people that are first time goers. You Dude,
00:59:34
sometimes they fly here from Japan to go to the [ __ ] game. Okay.
00:59:39
No, why would you laugh at that photo of these Japanese people laughing? Just that girl too happy right there on the
00:59:46
left. She's excited. Yeah. Yeah. It's I don't know. It's like somebody just made freshlymade boba or something.
00:59:53
Sticky bun. fresh. Yeah, she's happy. Okay. I mean,
01:00:00
honestly though, dude, he brought the fan. Like, there was a row of of of people in front of us that, you know, I
01:00:05
could hear they didn't speak English and they were there for show. Wow. I mean, it's unbelievable. He He just really
01:00:12
like draws up. He's also a specimen. Look up his [ __ ] chart. You You know who Shi Atani is? Yeah, I do. I I
01:00:18
watched the World Series last year. He's a god. He's got to be 66. How How much does he weigh? Go to his
01:00:25
stats. He dude, this guy is superhuman. 209 pounds. How tall is he? 6'4. 6'4. He
01:00:33
is You never seen a Japanese guy that big. What's his wife look like? Does she have a wag? Choyotani's wife is uh
01:00:40
Milio. Oh, she's an athlete, too. I remember that. Yeah. A pro basketball player. She's a wag.
01:00:47
Zoom in on that. She's wagon, dude. Okay, so I'm going to use this term a lot. Wag. Wag. Yeah, wag's a good one.
01:00:54
Wives and I love your wag. Wives and girlfriends. That's right. But it's of athletes. That's right. We don't get
01:00:59
wags, man. You're a golfer. We get wags. You're a golfer. That's right. Yeah. You're an Dude,
01:01:04
you're an athlete. In another life, you could have been an athlete. The way honestly the way he bowls, it's like
01:01:12
I've never seen anything like it. I do love bowls. Like anything, the only thing that I can think I can beat you
01:01:17
was ping pong probably. Yeah, maybe. Have you been playing?
01:01:23
Dude, if you beat me in ping pong, I'm going to kill myself. Let's do a Bad Friends ping pong challenge and let's
01:01:29
seriously I'm serious. Let's get a table. Yeah, Bobby will win cuz I beat you pretty bad at ping pong and Bobb's
01:01:35
good. When did you beat me at ping pong in Mexico? In Mexico. I remember. I was [ __ ] up. He was drunk. Yeah. Yeah. I I
01:01:42
was [ __ ] up. You didn't beat me sober. Beat me sober. And you were sober. Yes. You didn't drink was sober. Interesting.
01:01:48
And you see how he got a little chippy right there? That's an interesting little move, kid.
01:01:53
You're done. No more nothing. What? I thought we were back. Good. No. You think I was I was [ __ ] kidding, dude.
01:01:59
You're done, dude. All right. We're toast, dude. War. Yeah, I didn't
01:02:04
start it. Yeah, but now that we're at war, I have to fight. But I haven't even attacked you back. I'm getting ready.
01:02:10
Okay, Carlos, look into the camera. Say, "Thank you for being a bad friend, and I might not be here next week." Thank you for being a bad friend. I might not be
01:02:16
here next week. Great. [Music]
01:02:28
Woo! Woo! [Music]
