00:00:00
You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? A white dude and an Asian dude.
00:00:06
You two are disgusting. Well, you two are something. We're bad friends.
00:00:12
Well, look at who's back. Hello. Look who's back. Hello. Hello, Porks.
00:00:18
You know, it was really good to see you when I walked in the into the studio. Um, I fell off.
00:00:23
Did you really? No. I held you twice. I held you twice, but with some extra touching. with some
00:00:29
scratchies. I love doing scratchies with you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Some nipple some poor nipple scratchies are good.
00:00:35
Couple of tickles for the boy. Yeah. You're back from Espa. We had some family time. How are you
00:00:40
feeling? Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Happy to be back. Are you happy to be back for real?
00:00:45
Especially because I saw you guys tried to replace me. We didn't try. We We did. We did.
00:00:51
We're very We absolutely did. That guy was fantastic. We found a wonder kid, dude. Yeah. He's the best. The big C.
00:00:57
Dynamic. the big C. Dude, are you threatened? I a little bit. Wow.
00:01:03
But did you you didn't edit that episode, did you? No, but George did. And you watched it. Did you watch it? I did.
00:01:08
You did? I know. He watched it like a sick little weirdo. Just Yeah. He's not as good as me.
00:01:14
There is no way he is as good as me. And he was, wasn't he? He was. Yeah.
00:01:19
Yeah. We we uh we we flew him across the country just to temporarily replace you. But nobody
00:01:25
nobody bad friends. No one can replace Fancy B. We're happy he's back. He's back. Yeah.
00:01:30
Also, um, the big seed doesn't really know what food is. I don't think he eats. I
00:01:36
Yeah. I mean, everything we brought him to, um, John and Vinnie's, right? Yeah. And everything was like, I don't like
00:01:42
it. Yeah. Well, the first thing you brought out was was like a barata or something. And he had no [ __ ] idea what that ever
00:01:49
seen bara before in his entire life. He thought it was a dead ghost. Yeah. Is that an old ghost?
00:01:54
Yeah. And we had Oh, he hated the gem salad. Tell, by the way, it's just lettuce.
00:02:00
It's a Caesar salad. He hated it. With a little spice in it. So good. Yeah, he didn't like that. And then um
00:02:06
what he did like was the anchovi pizza, which is strange. He loved it. No, there was no cheese on it. Just red
00:02:12
sauce and an anchovi stripped across it. And he liked that. He was like, "That one is pretty cool."
00:02:20
I was like, "The fish pizza is good. You don't like any of the other pizza?" He didn't like the hagelli. He didn't like
00:02:26
the the He didn't like the He didn't like the Bronx bomber. The meat. He's never had real pasta, I think.
00:02:31
No, he's never had I think it's a little too chewy for him or something. He He went like this. Yeah. Yeah. Like
00:02:36
like a horse like trying to get rid of something. And then and then the embrace afterwards were words was as if we were never going
00:02:42
to see him again. Well, we're probably not.
00:02:48
Yeah. No, you know, we do we I will say this. We do really I don't want to give anything away to
00:02:53
the fans. We are We do love the Big C. We like the Big C. We will see him again. I hope so. We love him. Yeah, he's uh unique.
00:02:59
He's We got to get him some, you know, what some action, I think.
00:03:06
Well, I mean, he he's 3 what? One, 32, and then he hasn't had since Dominican
00:03:12
Republican had in high school 13 years, which I don't even believe. Do you believe that story or No, I don't think he's really had sex.
00:03:18
Come on. Come on. What? Of course that's not real. He's never had sex. He went into a vivid detail
00:03:24
about how it happened. Yeah, he's been how she ran away. How she ran away afterwards and ran into the forest.
00:03:29
She was able to cut the ropes and escape into the woods.
00:03:35
And I was chasing her. Come back here, little girl. Yeah, it was a wild story.
00:03:41
He had an elaborate story because he because he's been broached with this subject many times. People have said,
00:03:47
uh, you know, he's been around another guy that's like, "Hey, you know, you working on anybody right now? You got anybody on your roster? No. No, not
00:03:53
really. I had sex once in Dominican. I think it's like it's not like
00:03:59
You know what? Let's not make fun of that. I'm not We're not making fun of Let's go backwards. I'm proud of him because he's saving himself for real
00:04:04
love. That's what he said at dinner. He said he wants he wants to meet real love. I think that's what they all say.
00:04:11
Well, dude, they all say that, right? It's either we take him to John and Vidies or Oh, that's true. That's true.
00:04:16
You are you are screwed to me. Yeah, it did have feel that like we should be
00:04:21
extraized now. Yeah. I don't want to cuz we don't know. We don't know. I don't want to read about a Westfield mall in Jersey getting [ __ ] lit up.
00:04:28
Oh my god. That would be that would be the end of our podcast. He's wearing a Bad Friends merch shirt. No. TMZ.
00:04:35
Did you see the mug shots of the guys that robbed the Lou? No. This is unreal.
00:04:42
Look at how hot these guys are. Are you I'll be the judge. Is this a movie? Well, that's Chase
00:04:47
Crawford on the left. No, but they're saying he looks That's him on the right. That guy.
00:04:52
Wow. Look at his Oh, he's hot. Welcome to Hollywood.
00:04:58
They're going to cast this guy as soon you know what someone is going to bust him out of jail and put him in a movie.
00:05:05
Yeah. Remember the model? Remember like the hot model that was He's on like Tuby on like black stuff. We should make a movie. I got it. We
00:05:11
bust him out. Manion. Mhm. Right. Yeah. Yeah. You mean with the two brothers with the Boston that was the
00:05:17
young brother from the Boston Marathon? What's his name? Sarna. We'll leave that guy in there. Yeah. Well, he's cute though.
00:05:23
I know. Bring him. Is he? Yeah. Jeremy Meeks. He's already an actor now. He's famous, right? He got like f He got
00:05:28
like famous. Okay. But go back to the mug shot of the guy that robbed the Lou. I can't I mean, honestly though, look at that guy's
00:05:35
face. Yeah. That guy's a thief. Yeah. Look at the neck proportions. How easy would it be for this guy to get
00:05:41
an older woman who's rich to give him money, brother? Right. You don't need to rob. Yeah. You don't This What does it say? This is
00:05:48
one of the two. Right. That's one of the two. What's he Where's the other guy? Is the other guy? They keep showing him. So, obviously the other guy is not uh
00:05:54
No, he's he's sexy, too. Yeah. Is that Big C?
00:06:00
I went to Paris to rob the lube. I stole Mona.
00:06:06
Why is that happening? Hawkeye's doing this. Why are hot guys robbing? Yeah. When you you look at Kyle
00:06:11
Writtenhouse, Hollywood's dead. You're like, you you get it, right? Yeah. You look at written house, you're like,
00:06:16
yeah, but when hotties are doing it, what's going on with our world? It's diversity, you know, it's killing
00:06:22
that stuff. This is DEI, right? DEI is like enough ugos. We need to start getting hot guys to rob,
00:06:28
right? This is the this is the [ __ ] this is the lib contingency at it again. Oh my god, they're hot. So, are they in
00:06:34
trouble? A little bit. Yeah. Uhoh. They used a crane to like But they didn't kill anybody.
00:06:40
They didn't do it. No, they didn't do it. Yeah, that crane company is from from Germany. Their ads is like, you
00:06:45
know, in and out faster than whatever. Like they're selling through the roof. Well, you might as well market. Use the marketing. These guys stole a crane and
00:06:52
then they hoisted uh the ladder up to the window. Dude, it was in it's in broad daylight. I mean, it was like in the middle. You can see it. It's not
00:06:59
like it was like hidden and sneaky. They just put the crane up to the window, walked in, and came out. And so they they got the merch.
00:07:06
They got merch? Yeah. Well, I mean, not merch, but they got what at the Lou? What? They got paintings and stuff. What is No, just jewels.
00:07:11
Jewels. They got jewels or Rudy jewels. They stole and then they and she was in there. Then they got out
00:07:17
and they escaped and they escaped and then the they they caught him. But some rat somebody ratted him out. Oh, the rat. Who's a rat? Google the
00:07:24
rat. Google the rat. Yeah. Wait, wait, wait. Go back. I'm sorry. I want to see that real fast. It says the heist is valued at 88 million. That's
00:07:30
102 million American. Wow. Eight pieces of historic French jewelry. [ __ ] the French. Who cares? No. We love
00:07:35
the French. We love the French. He came this close to getting away. I know. That's amazing. I would They should have let him go.
00:07:42
I would start small if I wanted to rob. What would you rob? Well, I would start like back in like my
00:07:49
high school days like Kit Kats and you know what I mean? Oh, yeah. Yeah. And then you would you would slow, okay, I got away with that. And then the next
00:07:55
thing you would rob is like shoes from Pay Less Shoes or something. Yeah. Right. Like I got loafers.
00:08:01
By the way, that's why they went out of business. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Everyone stole from that place. Oh, the next one is, you know, if you go to like
00:08:07
San Francisco, you went to the CVS where everything is locked up now. You think I went into a CVS in San
00:08:12
Francisco? I went from my hotel to the club to the hotel to the club. Oh, I went to a CVS. I did not walk outside. Yeah, we were both in San Francisco and
00:08:18
the CVS, you know how in LA half the things are locked up at [ __ ] San Francisco CVS, right?
00:08:24
That's all. Toothpicks locked up. Well, those are weapons. Yeah. Yeah. That's how they broke into the Lou.
00:08:30
Yeah. I mean, everything. Yeah. But but I will say the city Ben Gay locked up. Well, I buy a lot of
00:08:36
Ben. I'll tell you this. It's funny locked up up there. What? Chips. Yeah. It's crazy. And then
00:08:42
there's so many of those buttons. Who loves chips? I wonder. All of us.
00:08:47
Yeah. We all love chips. Yeah. And then there's one person, some poor Filipino lady, where you have to,
00:08:53
she just happened to be where, you know, you're pressing the button, but you have to imagine there's 40
00:08:58
buttons being pressed throughout the [ __ ]
00:09:04
She's the key master. She's got 50,000 keys around her neck just running through the [ __ ] like,
00:09:10
Yeah. What about this? Why don't you just get one guy per aisle?
00:09:15
Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, hey, dude. I'm the [ __ ] you know what I mean? Deodorant guy. I'm the cereal boy.
00:09:21
Yeah, you'll be serial. I'll be deodorant. And I have all the deodorant keys, right? Mone, I don't know what you would
00:09:27
do. Okay. Uh, what's going on? Are you stunned by what's going on?
00:09:32
I thought he was going to tell me what I was going to do. No, he's he doesn't. I was giving you the OB. I'm the CVS [ __ ] manager. I go, what do you want?
00:09:38
What do you want to do? Like, what aisle do you want? I do the condoms. Oh, [ __ ] Okay, give him the condoms.
00:09:46
Why? Because you don't use them. Yeah, it'd be fun to monitor that one versus the other ones.
00:09:51
Keep an eye to mone in love. I uh was introduced to a new friend of his recently.
00:09:59
It ended later that evening. Never mind. Wait, you found love and then you ended
00:10:05
it? Well, I met up. We went to the Dodger game and uh we afterwards I said, "Hey, we're going to walk down the hill
00:10:10
because you can't get a [ __ ] Uber." I was like, "We're going to walk over the hill and probably go to shortstop or grab a beer, just hang out." And then so we went to Little Joy and I
00:10:16
said, "Come meet us." And this guy, this is how nervous he was in front of this girl. I haven't seen him like this in a long time. I was pretty hammered. And I
00:10:23
was just giving him cash. Just handing him cash like get her a drink. Get her go get her food. And he was nervous. I could tell cuz when he showed up late, I
00:10:29
go, "Where did you go?" He was late. He goes, "I thought you said little boy." I'm like, "There is no little boy.
00:10:34
There's no little boy bar, dude. There's little joy." And it's literally across from your house. Wow. You know what I did? What you
00:10:41
on the flight to San Francisco? There was a attendant, a flight attendant. She was beautiful. So I wrote her a letter.
00:10:48
Oh my god. Oh yeah. Restraining order now.
00:10:54
No more Delta flight. The guy next to me. Fancy is back. Yeah. I was sitting next to the a
00:11:01
businessman. I go, "Excuse me, sir. Do you have a pen?" He's like, "Yes, young man. I have a pen." Gives me the pen.
00:11:07
So, I take the um you know the throw up bag, barf bag, the barf bag, barf bag, love note,
00:11:12
right? And I wrote this like you're so pretty and you know here's my number, this and that. My Instagram, everything,
00:11:18
right? Yeah. Nothing. Well, did you check your requests and all that stuff? I checked it. I've been checking it for
00:11:24
days. Nothing. But did you get her name? Was her name on her name tag? No. Nuh-uh. See, that would have been a that
00:11:29
would have been I I looked at the You know, when you do DMs, you're not a single guy, but I know I I you go through it. You know what I
00:11:35
You siphon through all I siphon through all the the the profile p pictures. Yeah. Nothing.
00:11:41
Yeah. You know, and you take a risk like that. But it was she was so pretty, Andrew,
00:11:46
that I had to take a risk. That's really She must have been This must She must have been a smoke show. She was a smoke show.
00:11:51
What airline are we talking? Alaska. Oh no. Was she Alaskan? No, she was just a a white girl. She was
00:11:59
so attractive and I thought, you know, I mean, you know, she smiled at me and this and that. You know, listen up,
00:12:05
Alaska Airlines. Wait, wait, wait. You didn't talk to her. You just wrote her a letter. That's like high school
00:12:11
stuff. Like, wow. And I put check mark like check boxes like, "Do you like me?" Yes or no. That
00:12:18
doesn't work. Self-sabotage. Yeah. And and that thing with the hand thing with
00:12:23
prom with me. Yeah. Yeah. She u Well, Alaska Airlines, this is easily huntable. Anybody out there that works
00:12:29
for Alaska, there's a flight out of Burbank that goes to SFO. I she didn't find me attractive. Sure she did. You're very attractive.
00:12:36
No, there's lots of rich famous guys in First Class and Bobb's just one of them. So, she has a pick. Um
00:12:41
Oh, that could be it. She's getting a lot of barf back love. Exactly. She got a stack of barf bag love at the
00:12:47
end. Yeah. I mean, you you you I mean, right, would you take a risk like that or no?
00:12:52
No, because I feel like you'd be called like lame or something in a group text after. Oh, so what? You're departing the plane.
00:12:58
There's no time to talk. They're at work. It's not time to talk to girls. So you can you can never see it again. No, you you got to
00:13:04
You think people don't You think that never happens? I don't want to be a part of that. That's You're not interested.
00:13:10
No, I don't want like to be made fun of in public or someone like film me like look at this guy asking this girl out.
00:13:16
I'm afraid you don't want to end up on a TikTok. Yeah, that's scary. Okay, so I'm a flight attendant. Exactly. Get ready with me while I talk about a
00:13:22
creep my grape and then they do a breakdown of it. Yeah, I know what you're I've seen. I've
00:13:28
watched I've lit there's flight attendants who do Tik Toks and I I see them sometimes and they talk
00:13:33
Tik Tok my [ __ ] barf now. Oh yeah. Yeah. Oh my god. That'd be so embarrassing. But you didn't say anything. You all you
00:13:39
said was I I find you a Well, what did you say? I drew a very detailed You know what I
00:13:45
mean? Swastika. No. Of my penis. No. No. And so here cuz 15 years ago I
00:13:52
was I don't know what airport I was in but I was sitting there and this lovely lady sat next to me and I think this is
00:13:58
before I met Kyla and we had a conversation and she was very pretty.
00:14:04
Yeah. And very nice and I never got her information. I always felt I think about
00:14:09
that and then sometimes you know you'll run through the airport you'll just see some of you guys you'll lock eyes with a girl
00:14:14
you'll smile and you're like oh that's a missed opportunity and so from now on I don't
00:14:20
want to miss those opportunities if I if I feel like that's cool take them shoot that shot that shot
00:14:27
what you're smiling I don't like it well I'm just saying without your glasses that you don't have right like
00:14:34
you don't see that well like two two feet apart So, I don't know if those smiles that
00:14:40
you see are directed at you, you know, or you're imagining them.
00:14:47
You do have tremendously dog shed vision. You think everyone's smiling at you.
00:14:54
Everywhere Bobby goes. Dude, that made me so angry.
00:14:59
It's so It makes me so angry. I don't know what it is. I mean, welcome back, but I don't know, dude. You know,
00:15:05
why don't why don't why don't you look up misconnections cuz I guarantee you there's there's a misconnections
00:15:10
website. You know, is is that Craigslist that does it? Yeah. Starbucks in Santa Monica. Let's zoom
00:15:16
in. I am the Asian female that was hesitant but talked briefly over coffee about a month ago if around and still interested. Love to have coffee again.
00:15:23
This is like wildly sad. It's it's beautiful but sad as [ __ ] This is what I'm talking about. This is why you have to seize the moment, you
00:15:29
know? And maybe I am blind and I can't see the smile, okay? But it doesn't matter because maybe one of them are a
00:15:35
smile. You know, looking for Sarah from Pasadena, I think. Hard. We should respond to some of
00:15:41
these. Yeah, we should just be Sarah. Well, you look, you got to shoot your shot. Yeah, you're single and free. You got to keep
00:15:47
shooting your shot until you find love. And it's out there. Yeah. Could it be on Alaska Airlines? Maybe this guy needs to apologize.
00:15:54
Asking the Italian girl of my dreams for an opportunity to apologize in Lancaster. My only sin was to love you
00:15:59
too much. I miss how it used to be. You never You're never alone. I'll always be there if you need me. I still love you.
00:16:06
Oh my god, these are so heartbreaking. Well, it's even sadder. It's that it's on Craigslist. I don't Do people use
00:16:12
Craigslist heavily now? I don't think anybody uses that anymore. Facebook Marketplace took it over. That's exactly what it is.
00:16:17
There's a lot of love loss and misconnections in this world right now. Well, how do we how do we mend that?
00:16:24
How do we mend it? I don't know. I'll tell you where there's a lot of love. San Francisco. Holy [ __ ] man. Those gays go [ __ ] bananas. They have
00:16:31
they have the most fun. I got hit on a bunch. I gotten hit on not one time while I was there. I And I was out.
00:16:37
You got no guys. I get no gay love. No, I I sit up at the bar to have dinner and I'm Oh, yeah. I didn't go to any bars.
00:16:43
No, at dinner. I had dinner at the restaurant. But I mean the hotel bar. There's another thing that happened. I have a couple things that happened, but
00:16:48
another thing that happened was I I get a text from some random number saying, "Hey,
00:16:54
can you speak at my meeting?" That's cool. Right. So I go I didn't I ignored it and
00:16:59
then you know what I mean he was kind of you know persistent so I said okay I'll do it you know and
00:17:05
so I show up and so there's this one guy in the in the program he's a the biggest
00:17:12
rock star right and he he's a guy that I've met for the last 20 years he has no
00:17:18
idea who I am it's almost you know how you meet somebody and it you have they act as if they've never met you before
00:17:23
you've met them a bunch yeah I mean I've I've been introduced to Um, but it it just I mean he's an older
00:17:29
rock legend. Okay. And so now I'm speaking at this meeting and he's sitting there with his wife in
00:17:34
the second row. He's never seen me talk really. And I have a 30 minutes. I'm the
00:17:39
main speaker, right? And so I'm like, all right, I'm going to, you know, you're doing some time.
00:17:45
Well, but you know, I was like, I I got I I got to hit this. Yeah.
00:17:50
You What's your What's your opener? My opener? It's so cheesy. I I I can't I
00:17:56
don't want to do it because here's the thing is is that I have to um for the fans I will. So what you're doing is
00:18:03
it's not just you can't go up there because there's this other comic that spoke once and he did his act literally.
00:18:09
You know what I mean? Tit his standup and he lost the room. Half the people walked out
00:18:15
and people you know a lot of people know I'm a comedian. So it's like you can't go in like and try to be funny,
00:18:20
right? So you start with real. So yeah. So I start I said I just first
00:18:26
thing is I say you know I have to say that AA is the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. True. you know, and um when I was 17
00:18:34
years old, I um luckily got, you know, a spiritual awaking or psychic change,
00:18:41
you know, and um and then I move on from there, you know, I mean, about helping others and this and that, right? And but
00:18:47
then I go into I know my my my you know, pitch is it I can get
00:18:54
funny. You can talk about my parents and stuff, right? Right. So, I do start doing acts, you know what I mean? You know what I mean?
00:19:00
Did you just do and I'm doing it and I'm doing pretty good.
00:19:06
Yeah, it's like 350 people there. 300 people. It's a big It's a big AA meeting. I look over and the guy's
00:19:13
Oh, he's he's dead. I I could He looked like he was dead. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm like, ah.
00:19:19
He didn't hear a word you said. Yeah. But anyway, um yeah, he But you know, I um my fantasy would be, you know
00:19:26
what I mean? you know, come over to my house. You know what I mean?
00:19:32
Come over. Yeah. To the house. Yeah. And then he, you know, and then it's like, you know, here's an original
00:19:39
sign, you know, whatever. I don't know. And you're like, thank you. Thank you. You know, you'll get I think you keep, you know, I want to have that moment of
00:19:44
like you like you and Taylor Swift,
00:19:51
you know, like he says something funny and I'm like very funny. I want that photo.
00:19:59
Everybody wants that photo, right? Of just you and Obama or somebody. Well, you had a redemption with another
00:20:05
rock legend the other night at the comedy store. Oh, that's I had another redemption. Who? I think I could say it.
00:20:11
Ketus. Kus. You redeemed yourself with Anthony. Yeah. Like now he's you're back in his good
00:20:16
graces. Did you speak to him for a while? Yeah. Ah. Oh, yeah. And it was magical.
00:20:22
He gave you a signed copy of something. No. take over. But but I I almost went like this.
00:20:33
Almost. But you think that's You think that's good?
00:20:40
Domino's. Hey man, you know what, dude? What? Baby, I love two things in life.
00:20:45
Let me guess. Specialty things and pizzas, right? I knew it. What do Domino's dominoes do? Do they do specialty pizzas?
00:20:51
They do both. Are you serious? A combo, dude. And check it out, dude. What? Look at this red box here.
00:20:57
Delicious. You eat. You know what it is? What? Extravaganza. Is that an extravaganza?
00:21:03
It's an extravaganza. I already took a bite here. I already had a piece, but I'm going to have another bite of this extravaganza.
00:21:08
This extravaganza, a super loaded deluxe pizza with pepperoni, ham, Italian sausage, beef,
00:21:13
fresh onions, fresh green peppers, fresh mushrooms, black olives, all sandwiched between two layers of proolone and
00:21:18
cheese made with 100% real mozzarella. I'm drooling for a bite right now. I'm drooling. Now, I got a couple of really good pizzas on
00:21:24
my table right now. And this one especially, this is a Is that what I think it is? That is the spicy chicken and bacon
00:21:30
ranch. Ladies and gents, this thing is phenomenal. I love jalapenos, especially because I like a little spice and a
00:21:36
kick. And they drizzle with a little buffalo sauce. Of course, it's made with 100% real mozzarella. Um, and in here
00:21:41
they got that grilled chicken breast, smoked bacon, and jalapenos. Probably one of my favorite combinations of food
00:21:47
layered on delicious crispy crust. Ooh, dominoes. You know they have other ones.
00:21:52
You know Wisconsin. Oh. Oh my god. They have the Wisconsin one. They got the six cheese. The
00:21:58
Wisconsin six cheese. And also your favorite city, Memphis. Memphis barbecue chicken. Wow. And a wakalaiki.
00:22:04
The wakaliki. You know what? You know what we got? We got Halulu Hawaiian. Honolulu Hawaiian is up there as well.
00:22:10
The Pacific Veggie dude. They got so many different kinds of Dominoes now between the spinach and feta, the extravaganza, the mita. They
00:22:17
also got yo Philly cheese steak, dude. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, use over there. Go get a Philly Hogy cheese steak. They got the
00:22:22
Philly cheese steak pizza. Delicious. So, if you're at home and you're hungry, get yourself some Dominoes.
00:22:29
dupe.com. Did you know there's a website that shows you identical versions of expensive products for way less? It's
00:22:36
called, my friend, dupe.com. No, I I have heard of this, by the way, cuz you a lot of people are doing Tik
00:22:41
Tok shopping. People are buying stuff off Tik Tok shop, and I'm telling you, you're paying way too much for all that stuff. Uh, I was able to find some fun
00:22:48
stuff that I I wanted to buy on TikTok a little uh one of these little cleaners for my windows for my car. And it was it
00:22:54
was I don't know much cheaper. I think it was like 30 or 40% cheaper than it was on the internet. All you have to do,
00:22:59
it's very very simple. All you have to do is type in dupe.com uh before any product URL and it
00:23:04
instantly shows you similar and more affordable alternatives. All you do is just go to dupe.com and paste a URL URL
00:23:10
or even upload a product image and it's going to show you the cheapest version possible. dupe.com exposes the markup so
00:23:17
you're not paying double just for the same name. That's right. That's the best part. Dupe.com is 100% free to use, by the
00:23:23
way. No cost to you. Seriously, what do you have to lose to try it out? The holidays are very expensive and they're here and inflation is up. So why not go
00:23:30
to dupe.com, show yourself the best price for yourself. Dupe.com really is
00:23:35
the best holiday shopping hack. Just type in dupe.com/ any product URL in your browser and
00:23:42
boom, it will instantly find you more affordable alternatives. Perfect for gifting. They even have an app and a browser
00:23:49
extension you can download. No account required, no sign up required. It's
00:23:54
completely free to use. Stop overspending on brand names and start saving on holiday gifts with dupe.com immediately. It's men's health
00:24:00
awareness month and Talkspace wants to know how you feel. Guys, this November, prioritize your health by prioritizing
00:24:05
your mental health with Talkspace. Can I talk to you, please? Yeah. Um, every Thursday, you know, we have the schedule on my therapy.
00:24:11
You always go to therapy on without places like Talkspace, I'm not I'm a goner. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's very important.
00:24:17
It's extremely important. Therapy can be costly, by the way. It can be. And thank God for Talkspace. It's affordable and in network with most insurance
00:24:23
providers. And we are a big proponent of talking to someone on this show. And Talkspace therapy and psychiatry are covered by many insurance plans, like I
00:24:30
said. And you can easily sign up online and get paired with a licensed therapist who's going to fit your needs well, typically within 48 hours. And you can
00:24:35
always switch providers at no cost. Talkspace makes getting help convenient because you can make your appointments
00:24:41
from the comfort and privacy of your own home. Yeah, that's right. You can even talk it out between sessions by sending texts, video, or
00:24:49
audio messages to your therapist. There's more to Men's Health Awareness Month than just mustaches. Talkspace is
00:24:54
here to help you with therapy on your terms. As a listener of this podcast, you're going to get $80 off your first
00:24:59
month with TalkSpace when you go to talkspace.com/badfriends and enter the promo code space 80.
00:25:05
That's space 80 spa ce to match with a licensed therapist
00:25:10
today. Go over to talkspace.com/badfriends and enter the promo code space 80.
00:25:16
And you have a new movie coming out. All I get the Tik Tok is all his movie. What movie? The magic movie. Every other ad is the
00:25:24
magic movie that you're in. You're in the movie. Yeah, you are in the magic movie. I'm in one scene. You're in the movie and then you disappear.
00:25:32
You're on fire. He's good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm in one's [ __ ]
00:25:38
It doesn't matter. You're in the movie. Well, and whenever I see that, I go, "My boys in this. I'm so proud of him."
00:25:43
Shut up. No, I'm being really I'm real. That's good. Elite stuff. You know how little movies are being made, right? And for somebody
00:25:51
in our ecosystem, a standup, you know what I mean? An actor that gets into
00:25:57
anything is a big deal. Let's have a Come on, man. Thanks, man. Step into your glory, dude.
00:26:04
What happens in it? What do you think? In the movie. Yeah. Now you see me.
00:26:10
Yeah. And now you don't. I pop in and I pop right. Are you a patron? What is it? You I mean, you didn't send an NDA. You can
00:26:16
talk about your role. Uh, well, I'm in the crowd and I'm yelling at
00:26:23
um I'm yelling at them on stage. They're all on stage. Eisenberg. Uh, Woody.
00:26:28
Woody and uhgan Fisher. No, Morgan's not there. Yeah. And Isa Fisher. Isa Fisher. Yeah. The Woody was
00:26:35
Well, talk to me about um Can I Woody would The coolest thing was meeting Woody. I was fascinated. I'm just I wanted to meet him so bad.
00:26:40
Did he know who you were? No, no, no, no, no. Yeah. Yeah. No, but he but but the director introduced me. He's like, "Oh, he's a comedian." Wood. He's like, "I love
00:26:46
comedians." And he's like, he does a podcast and he's like, "I have a podcast." I was like, "Yeah." And then he was like, "Did you say that
00:26:52
your podcast does better numbers or than his?" Yeah. I mean, does it? I checked on YouTube. Does it?
00:26:58
No, I I didn't look it up. I actually have no idea. I don't Does he do Does he have a pot or is he just starting it?
00:27:03
But he was just talking about the world. He's fascinating. Oh, yeah. Him and him and um him and Ted Dancing. Yeah. Yeah.
00:27:08
Yeah. Yeah. Um I don't know. Rad dude. Very nice guy. I'm I'm more broken up right now
00:27:14
because uh my boy got his title stripped away. My good friend.
00:27:19
Good to be Prince Andrew. They
00:27:24
Good one. They took it away, man. Good one. Let's go back to the movie now. That was a really good deflection. I can't do
00:27:30
No, but I I see what you're trying to do. You want to go this way. I have nothing to I No, I have nothing to say about the movie. It was fun. I mean, I'm in one quick scene. It was
00:27:36
awesome. I mean, it was in Budapest. We talked about We talked about going to Budapest. It was great. I'm going to see it. I'm gonna I hope it's good.
00:27:42
Yeah. I don't know. I know nothing. This is one of those things where you touch it and you leave. I don't I have no idea. I get in there and then they're like,
00:27:47
"Thank you. Goodbye." Although Budapest film crew, probably the best film crew I've ever worked with in my No, I'm not kidding.
00:27:53
No, I I know. I did it. Shocking. They're amazing. They're so [ __ ] good. They're so great. They're on top of everything and you're
00:27:59
like, "Oh, I don't need that." Hot, too. Some of them. Yeah. Some of even some of the girls, too. But it was they were really No, it
00:28:05
was a great time. But yes, I'm going to go see the beautiful architecture. Hope people go see it. Some of it, half the city is, the other half is in ruins.
00:28:11
It's in ruins. Yeah. But, um, I'm more concerned about all these Japanese bears getting loose. I was
00:28:17
thinking about you the other day. I wanted to call you. Yeah. I've been seeing that. Like they're overtaking Japan. Yeah. Brack bear everywhere. That's the
00:28:24
headline. I wonder why. Cuz they're not having as many children now. I think they're overpop populating because they're not being controlled.
00:28:29
There's no hunters. So, they're they're I think they're inviting hunters to come help.
00:28:34
Why kill them? Because they're killing people. I know. But just ga can you gather them
00:28:39
up and then put them in an area a fenced in area where this is black country. Black bear country
00:28:45
[Laughter] German. This is Baltimore.
00:28:51
Frodis lived. Yeah. Well, I'm just saying like create a town. You know what I mean? A town for black bears.
00:28:57
All the black bears go there. Yeah. And you stay there. Yeah. Don't drink out of the white bear fountain.
00:29:02
Right. According to the Japan Times, 12 people have been killed. More than a hundred others are injured nationwide just this
00:29:09
year alone. Wow. It's pretty crazy. Yeah. Wa. That black black bears are gnarly. Look at that. And they're getting more aggressive.
00:29:15
Yeah. Like I apparently they're they're showing up and like trying to get into people's houses.
00:29:20
It's it's [ __ ] rad. Japan's hunter population has been shrinking. People don't hunt. 60% of licensed hunters now
00:29:26
are over 60. So there's no kids are doing it. Yeah. I would just gather them up and
00:29:31
bring them somewhere. Like there there's there's other islands around, right? Hey, you put them on boats.
00:29:37
Yeah, put them on boats and bring them not in Okinawa. That's a pretty populated. Yeah, put them on boats. Like we can call it Amastad. Whatever you
00:29:44
want to do. However you want to do it. No. Um, put them down to Yeah. Okinawa is they
00:29:50
already did that once. Okinawa, you know what I mean? Yeah. But there's there's probably other islands around Japan where they can, you
00:29:56
know, I mean, put the bears in, cage them. So you think I don't killing animals is not my thing.
00:30:02
Yeah, but if they're killing people, you got to protect, you got to protect your population. Survival of the fit as well. Oh yeah, we have guns. So I guess
00:30:08
we have gun. They don't none of your guns. I mean they do have guns in Japan but not like this. Yeah. Wow. They're pretty big and
00:30:14
they're mauling people. Huh. And they don't look Japanese at all. Yeah. I thought they'd look a little bit more Japanese.
00:30:19
Well, why they why can't they just, you know, get their guy to do it? Who's that? Who's their prime minister
00:30:24
or whatever? No. Huh? Oza.
00:30:29
Release Godzilla. Dude, Godzilla would [ __ ] that thing up. No. We call on you to help us, Godzilla.
00:30:36
Yeah. Yeah. Or Mothra. I mean, you know, Mothra can pluck. How many bears?
00:30:42
Stuttering problem. AI. How many bears can How many bears versus Godzilla? How many bears would it
00:30:47
take for Godzilla? Yeah. I wonder what the I wonder what the scale would be. No number of normalsized
00:30:53
bears can take out Godzilla. See, you're right. Yeah. He could wipe out probably a million of them.
00:30:58
Well, let's get let's let's reenact it. Let's get him out here. Or Mothra would be easier because he Mothra can fly and
00:31:05
just pluck them from the ground. Pick them out of the sky and throw them throw them in the ocean and throw them in the ocean. Yeah, that's actually smart or
00:31:10
something, you know. Well, get on it, Japan. What are you guys [ __ ] waiting for? Don't you know cage those Mothra? They
00:31:15
got to be released. Little tiny Japanese. When the last time you saw Mothra? He's been He's been out. He's I think he
00:31:20
had an injury like an MCL tear or something. He's been out. He's on injured reserve. Yeah. I want to bring Yamamoto and uh
00:31:26
Otani and with baseball bats and go over there. Congratulations to the Dodgers. Oh yeah, the Dodgers. Incredible. You're wearing your Dodgers hat today. Go you.
00:31:32
My It's heartbreaking to see Blue Jays fans though. I just feel so bad for them. Nope.
00:31:37
Why? USA. USA.
00:31:42
USA. USA. [ __ ] with us, Canada. I know. But you know, they were leading for all most of the game.
00:31:49
Yeah, they blew. They're in home turf. They blew it and they you could just see them just like just not being able to get over the
00:31:56
line. I actually loved it, dude. They I loved it, dude. It was [ __ ] great. Yeah. Yeah. I I was It was kind of wild to
00:32:03
watch, especially because I was in San Francisco when they won and SF [ __ ] hates the Dodgers and the Giants.
00:32:08
They were so mad. So Tuesday, this guy came up to me. He goes, "Hey, I'm friends with Theo." I
00:32:13
go, "Okay." And he goes, "I'm the new manager of the Giants." The team manager. Yeah. I just got hired. This is my first
00:32:20
year. I'm starting work next week or something, but I wanted to starting work next week. I don't know what it
00:32:25
That's not how they talk. Yeah. That's is Give me the name. Tony. Tony Vitello came to my show Tuesday.
00:32:30
Seriously? Yeah. With his girl. Wow. Yeah. Super nice. I mean, I didn't do that well, but um Yeah. Tony Vital came.
00:32:38
Really nice guy. That's [ __ ] rad. Yeah. I mean, it's still Taylor Swift, but you know, the manager of a bad sports team.
00:32:45
Not bad. Are they bad? No, they're okay. They're fine. Is he It's new. I mean, I told him I go,
00:32:51
"You have a shot, right? He can He's a manager. He can rearrange." Yeah. They don't have control. It's m
00:32:58
baseball's money. The Dodgers have all the [ __ ] money. Soccer is the same way. Isn't soccer the exact same way? I don't know.
00:33:03
There's no cap on soccer, right? Yeah. You guys have a salary cap? No. So, it's the same thing. So, why are the best teams the best consistently? They have
00:33:09
the most money. Yeah. Salary. If there's no salary cap that's that's why people hate the Dodgers. The Dodgers
00:33:15
spent the most [ __ ] But 12 years ago, Lester City won the Premier League, right? Yeah.
00:33:20
And they were the worst team. They have no money, right? Yeah, they had no um they came from the
00:33:26
championship straight to the Premier League. No star. They had Jamie Vardy, which is the one
00:33:32
guy. I've seen I've seen that name. I know that. Yeah. And they won the Premier League. That doesn't happen in America because
00:33:38
of the refs. It's And we have you have teams like Manchester City and Chelsea. Roman
00:33:43
Abraovich owns Chelsea. He's like a oil baron from Russia. I mean, they have all the money in the world and Leicester
00:33:48
still won. My point being is is that you can still be a thrifty manager and look
00:33:53
at stats and go, you know what I mean? This kid, I know he's in a he isn't a household name or you know what I mean,
00:34:00
but I think he's perfect. You know what I mean? I No, I know what you're saying. I think that may happen in soccer in baseball
00:34:06
unfortunately now that the the the that day there was a guy Billy Bean for the Oakland A's and he kind of revolution.
00:34:12
You never see Moneyball? No. With Jonah Hill and Brad Pitt? You didn't see that movie? It was [ __ ] phenomenal. It's great. But it was about
00:34:17
the story of this and what you're saying. He kind of like an iconic manager who literally kind of
00:34:23
revolutionized the way you can pick players and get them young and do but it's it's a big money game now. It's
00:34:28
it's all [ __ ] It's all money game. That's why people [ __ ] that's why those guys really hate the Dodgers. Yeah.
00:34:33
They got the most [ __ ] money. And I get it. It was like for years as a kid the Yankees for me. It was always
00:34:38
the Yankees. I was always like the Yankees are unstoppable. Oh my god. $350 million. But this summer, what
00:34:45
Arsenal did was, if I, if I can talk soccer for a second, I'd love it. Um, and wait, let me ask you a real
00:34:50
question. So, Leicester City, is that what you said? Yeah. So, some of the players, are they from the area as well? So, they have pride in
00:34:56
local. So, so this is a thing that we don't do anymore either, right? Yeah. So, most of these kids are [ __ ] from
00:35:02
elsewhere and you just play with the team that you play with. The cool thing about soccer that I love is that you see these local guys play for their squad.
00:35:08
There's city, there's like pride. We also have a youth program and and um
00:35:14
Bio Saka, Ethan Wieri, um some of these players are Lewis
00:35:20
Skellyy. They're all Lewis Skellyy's 18 and he's in the main team.
00:35:26
He plays with the main team in Arsenal. Waneri is 18 19 plays and they're all from Helland
00:35:33
they're all from the academy and our big star Pokayaka is from the academy as well. So it's like they've been there as
00:35:40
kids, right? That's pride. There there's there's semblance of pride. We don't have that. That's I'm jealous of that.
00:35:45
You used to have a player when I was a kid like you know Jordan was Chicago to us. He stayed in Chicago,
00:35:52
right? Like some there used to be kind of a vibe like you you stayed there as long as you could. Now these guys don't give a [ __ ] They're going to go
00:35:58
wherever they're going to go. Whoever's got the best check and that's how it goes. That's sad. Well, that's just this that's but the
00:36:04
business did that. These guys don't really have his It's almost like you're put in a position when the Dodgers called Show and they gave him $700
00:36:11
million. Yeah. I mean, how else is he gonna pay for those gambling? But let me ask you a question. So, this
00:36:16
summer, um, Arsenal FC, so Liverpool, right, spent so much money. They got
00:36:22
this guy ESAC and all these guys and they spent $150 million per player. Jes
00:36:29
cost Isak cost 100 over a hundred million pounds. Jesus Christ. Right. But what Artenna did was he
00:36:35
bought people from leagues that people were like teams that were like people were like this summer like 30 million
00:36:42
for that guy, who is this guy? Like he we bought a defender named Mascara. No one had really heard of him, but he knew
00:36:47
and but he knows that he would fit right into the team. And so now um um Arsenal
00:36:53
has a backup for every position that's just as good. Whereas Liverpool spent two or three
00:37:00
millions of dollars on two, three, four players. They don't have the backup, you know what I mean? And it's it's about
00:37:05
stats and about like you mean what's gonna work in our system, you know? Right. Yeah.
00:37:10
No, I think it's f I think it's fascinating, but but I don't know much about baseball. So, you're saying that baseball there's no So, the Dodgers
00:37:16
doesn't have like a youth program. Well, they have a farm they have a farm system, right? We have a farm you have a farm league. Like you have AAA b you
00:37:22
have a you do have a system, but these guys are quick to get rid of them and trade them and especially if they can't
00:37:27
afford them. You know, that would I mean, you don't have scouts. They do. They do. What do they do for to kids?
00:37:32
Oh, yeah. They scout like 12-y old. Oh, yeah. They scout they scout middle school and high school. Then you bring them to the Dodgers Youth
00:37:37
Academy. Do they have that? Well, they have Yeah, they do have training facilities. And then you guys live here, but most of the time
00:37:43
you go to school here. That's more a non-American thing. Like the NBA just started that in India not long ago. Yeah.
00:37:49
India. Yeah. Cuz they're looking for the next sevenfooter. To play basketball, man. I want to hoop. I hope you let me play.
00:37:57
Yeah. Yeah. Listen, Ranjit, you're 5 foot seven. I can be a center. Why can't I be a starting center?
00:38:04
It is [ __ ] funny that we all we do the NBA the NBA has so much money
00:38:10
overseas because like guys like Steph Curry he's probably bigger in China than he is. I mean he's hu he's global
00:38:16
superstar but like overseas there's so much money in the NBA overseas cuz Asian kids [ __ ] love the NBA.
00:38:22
We can't sell the NFL to almost anybody but the NBA you can sell to [ __ ] everybody. Everybody loves I mean it's those guys
00:38:28
go to China. They do like a like Steph and those guys, they'll go do like a a summer camp in China and make like $30
00:38:35
million for like a weekend at camp just because he's, you know, they're they're
00:38:40
they're massive overseas. I mean, big here, but still. Can I ask you another question about sports? LeBron James, did I ever tell you that
00:38:47
story? When I was on a boat in Europe, you met him? No. No. I was a boat in Europe and the guy's like, "You know LeBron James?" I
00:38:52
was like, "Yeah." He goes, "He will stay there when he come here. That place he will stay." I was like, "Is he there now?" He goes, "Nah, but we will watch."
00:39:01
I guess he stays at the same like mansion. They're like LeBron James. This is LeBron James. Wow. Wow. Wow. What did you ask me about basketball?
00:39:07
No, I want to talk about um cuz now, you know, I'm really kind of getting into baseball a little bit this year. Love.
00:39:12
Yeah. I had no idea why it would be exciting, but now, you know, watching the World Series and the playoffs and
00:39:18
stuff, I I I'm I get it. It's a nerd game, but I don't get football.
00:39:24
I don't expect American football. I and I I I want you to convince me that it's good. Why is it
00:39:29
good? Well, you know, but baseball is my number one. So, I can't that's I I agree with you. But baseball is like soccer in the fact that like these are all this is
00:39:36
all chess moves. Yeah, soccer's coordinated chess moves. Baseball is calculated statistical moves trying to advance players in different
00:39:42
positions to the likelihood of scoring of positioning. Football is that too. It's [ __ ]
00:39:48
awesome. But you like it because you like you like these little technical moves and I think that's what you like.
00:39:54
Football is more like pure raw athletic strength and talent and ability going at
00:39:59
each other at full speed as hard as you can. There is str of course there's strategy to it. It's hard. I don't know what
00:40:05
selling you on football's tough. You don't like you don't like violent sports at all. I do. UFC I was a big fan of but you
00:40:12
know what show that I've been watching on um Netflix everyone I command everyone in this room to watch it.
00:40:17
There's show called Physical 100. Bring it up. But it's Asia, right? Right. Oh, I'm
00:40:23
out. So, it's basically um there So, it it was a Korean Yeah. So, that's the
00:40:30
Philippine team. That's Manny Pacquiao. Yes. So, like it's Australia, Indonesia,
00:40:36
Korea, Japan, Turkey, right? Look at the tits on that guy.
00:40:41
Yeah. Turkey, um Thailand, and they're all competing,
00:40:46
right? Are the Thailand a bunch of lady boys in there? No, but No, but I think Indonesia or Thailand does have a lady boy on it. It
00:40:52
should. But it's But the Philippines are making me laugh. Why?
00:40:58
Cuz Manny's so small. He's so tiny. You know what I mean? What What is the What is the competition? What do they do?
00:41:03
Well, there's only four episodes right now, but it's basically the first one was they have these four um platforms,
00:41:10
circular platforms, right? And there's I think eight countries, right?
00:41:16
Okay. And each so they they basically there's a gigantic circle and in the
00:41:21
middle of this dirt mount is gigantic circle. See if you can see these. He's he's bringing up right now trailer.
00:41:26
This is the trailer for it. Yeah. Yeah. But it's not it's not show cuz they're going to show the whole thing. Show Oh
00:41:31
yeah. So you can see the circular thing right there. Right. Right. Right. Okay. So you have eight countries in you
00:41:37
have to dominate a circle. Wow. So the most people on the circle, right? Right. If you have like
00:41:43
it's king it's king of the hill. King of the hill. But it's like how many? Uh there's 1 2 3. I think there's five.
00:41:49
This is rad, right? But it's like when you're watching the first round, you can see Manny Paco just flying through the
00:41:55
screen. Yeah. It's pretty brutal, though. Can they punch? You can't punch, but it gets pretty
00:42:01
scrappy, dude. It's a really You can hold down. It's a fun show to watch. Yeah. Yeah, I'm in. I'm already in. Fantastic.
00:42:07
But there's some countries, I mean, that would just like us. We would just Well, yeah. That's why they don't want us a part of this [ __ ] We'd bring We'd
00:42:13
get the most lunatic out of our mind ex-military like just ready to [ __ ]
00:42:18
kill at will. But every team has famous people on it like you know um so the Australian team has Robert Whitaker. He's one of
00:42:25
the best UFC fighter. You know Whitaker and then um that's [ __ ] Mongolia. They're badass.
00:42:31
And look at Genghaskhan. We call him Genghaskhan in the middle. Look at they have Genangghas in there, dude. Look at him. But it's a really fun show, dude.
00:42:36
Physical 100. Yeah, physical 100 Asia. Rich, what do you got? Are you from the
00:42:42
future? What? I am a little bit of a futurist. Do you have a time machine? Where'd you get that? Buddy, that's a Ridge wallet. Ridge
00:42:47
makes one of the most durable, cool, and also I love the colors. I'm big into the colorways. This is Hunter Green. I just
00:42:54
named that. I don't know if it really is, but it looks like Hunter Green, but Ridge is incredible, man. They're lighter, they're stronger, they're more
00:42:59
durable, they hold cash and cards, they fit in your pocket, and and probably one of the best things about Ridge Wallet,
00:43:05
it has got RFID protection in there, so you're not going to get robbed by some scammer who's got a machine stealing
00:43:12
card numbers. Well, Ridge has been perfecting the wallet for 12 years, my friend. Everything is better on the
00:43:17
Ridge 2.0. It's 10% lighter. Every gram matters in a Ridge wallet 2.0. They
00:43:23
found the perfect balance. That's right. They got over 50 colors, by the way. They also have NFL, MLB, college teams.
00:43:28
Perfect for holiday gifting. Uh, if you don't know what to buy your old man, buy him his favorite sports teams in a Ridge wallet. Uh, because you know he's
00:43:34
keeping cash on them. And they got over 100,000 fivestar reviews. Ridge Wallet is a gift that people really do want to receive. For a limited time, Ridge is
00:43:41
having their huge Black Friday sale. Head to Ridge.com. Ridge DG.com to get up to 47% off your
00:43:50
order. This is by far the biggest discount they've given all year. That's Ridge.com for up to 47% off your order
00:43:55
during their biggest sale of the year. After you purchase, they're going to ask you where you heard about them. Please, please support our show. Tell them that
00:44:00
the bad friend sent you. Shopify. Oh, we would not have a business without Shopify. We love Shopify.
00:44:06
We do. They do. They make everything so simple because they have that point of sales system. It's a unified command center for your retail business. It
00:44:12
brings together into storere and online operations across up to a thousand locations. And we're lucky because we do it mostly from the internet. We ship you
00:44:18
guys shirts and hats and hoodies and all that stuff. And thanks to Shopify, their POS system makes it so simple and easy.
00:44:24
Even Dumbos that produce this show like Carlos and Mccon and Fancy can do it. In fact, it's proven based on a report from
00:44:31
EY business on Shopify's POSC real results like 22% better total cost of
00:44:37
ownership and benefits equivalent to an 8.9% uplift in sales on average relative
00:44:44
to the market set survey. And here's the deal. Uh acquiring new customers, it's expensive. It's hard to
00:44:49
do and it costs a lot of money for small businesses. But with Shopify POS, you can keep shoppers coming back with personalized experiences and firstparty
00:44:56
data that give marketing teams a competitive edge. So you know where your customers are, what they're really looking for, what they're actually
00:45:01
clicking on, and what they're going to take home with them. Get all the big stuff for your small
00:45:06
business right with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start
00:45:11
selling today at shopify.com/badfriends. That's shopify.com/badfriends. Once again, shopify.com/badfriends.
00:45:20
I don't know, dude. To get you into football, honestly though, we'd have to embed you with the team. And your team left your city and came here, which is
00:45:26
you're here now. The Chargers. Well, maybe you could be a Chargers fan. You put it for Tottenham for
00:45:32
Oh, something came out. Yeah. Oh, that's a that's a tonsil stone. Yeah. No, don't put it in the art.
00:45:38
Yeah, I like I like to There's a lot of things fermented. I a zimping burp. That was a tonsil stone.
00:45:44
Yeah. Do you get those all the time? It's not a tonsil stone, dude. It's soft. Look. Okay. All right.
00:45:51
[ __ ] It looks like it. It does look exactly like a tonsil stone. Small hard deposit. Okay.
00:45:57
That's what I thought it was. What? Tonsil stones. It's just debris that got stuck in the in those little like uh those little hangy things in the back.
00:46:02
Tonsle stone. Okay. Did it smell smell your finger? Does it smell? Yeah, it smells like what I ate.
00:46:07
It was crab. It was crab. It's a crab. Oh, it's a piece of a crab. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Welcome back. Fancy. No big deal.
00:46:13
No big deal. Yeah. Yeah. I I went there. I went to the [ __ ] crab place last night and it
00:46:19
[ __ ] me up, bro. What do you mean? The bowling crab. It's too much sodium. I can't do it.
00:46:24
It's too much. I just don't like mass amounts of seafood. Yeah. And then you got to get the
00:46:30
potatoes and the carrots with it. But it's like and then if you go medium like who when
00:46:35
did fire become a flavor? An ele an element should not be a I I
00:46:41
don't ever want to eat a sandwich go this is um earthy, right?
00:46:46
Have you tried our new wind burger? Yeah. Or wind burger. Yeah. Yeah. It's delicious. When did fire Who likes it? You get
00:46:53
fire. You know what I mean? I agree. I hate the taste like when they do it's a smoky thing. I'm like I don't want smoke. Smoke tastes like you burnt it.
00:46:58
Yeah. I don't want smoky anything. Yeah. They do that a lot with drinks now too. They smoke on top of a cocktail. I don't
00:47:03
want the smoke. Yeah. Or you go to an omaca place, right? They take they slice tuna or whatever.
00:47:09
They put it you right on on a wooden plate, but then they put a thing over it and they stick smoke in it like cedar
00:47:15
wood. I don't like that. Yeah. And I'm like I don't I totally agree. I [ __ ] hate that flavor. I don't I don't know why they do
00:47:21
that. Somebody It's It's a culinary thing. It's got to be like a cool fancy culinary thing and then that's that
00:47:27
makes that in the community that makes it good. Or don't put [ __ ] You know what I
00:47:32
mean? Um caviar on top of salmon. You're not the mom and the [ __ ] kids.
00:47:39
Well, we I don't eat the mom and the kids. You've never had chicken and eggs? I refuse. It's not the combination. I
00:47:45
can't do No, I'll do it. Chicken and eggs. I'll have I'll It's mom and baby.
00:47:50
Yeah, the family's all together. We'll get grandpa in there then. Then might as well. Yeah.
00:47:55
Like I'll take I'll take a a ground patty of of like meat with uh you know a uh a full-grown cow and then it's mixed
00:48:02
with like uh a baby calf. You know, why not? What's it called again? What's wrong? Ve
00:48:07
ve is delicious. I can't do baby anything. So you don't you want them full grown before you eat them.
00:48:12
Well, I'll be honest with you. Um there's been a lot of guilt now as of
00:48:18
late of eating meat. Why? like Tik Tok algorithms. Oh.
00:48:23
Oh, Lib Talk. He's on Lib. We lost him to Lib Talk. Yeah. Yeah. And um you know, people just
00:48:30
raising cows and the cows cuddling with their owners, right? You've never seen that? No. I mean, I've se I've Yeah.
00:48:36
They kiss on the lips. I love it. Well, then you need to move to India. No. Like this. They worship the cow.
00:48:42
Like this. This is like Look at that. Look at that. How many smash burgers could you make out of that?
00:48:47
A lot. A lot. So many. Yeah, we can make a lot out of that. But I I've done Look at that. Yeah.
00:48:52
Yeah. Those are freerange happy cows. Yeah. Yeah. You don't feel guilt cuz they're
00:48:57
sentient beings. Like the other day I went to your house, saw your dog. Yeah. Right. Yeah. They have the same human connection.
00:49:03
There's not enough meat on her though. I know. She's tiny. That's why I have a tiny dog. Brad Williams would
00:49:12
I know what you're saying. I get it, dude. I have this I I've had this moral dilemma before in my mind, but also I I
00:49:18
really love red meat. I like it so much. I do too. But it's like, you know what? I can't wait until Let's like grow it.
00:49:24
Well, they're working. They're doing that now. What do you mean? We We have that. Yeah. But get to a point where it's like tasting good.
00:49:31
Yeah. Yeah. Get to it doesn't taste like [ __ ] Yeah. Like accessessible, you know? But it's all We're all in beta with all this stuff. Like this [ __ ] home robot
00:49:37
they're pushing out. You know, this Oh, yeah. That thing. Yeah. That thing looks like And then you have to have Do you know what they need to do?
00:49:42
A guy to control it. Yeah. It's insane. Yeah. Why don't the guy Why don't the guy controlling just do it? Do it. I know. This is very dumb.
00:49:49
Yeah. Look, a guy has to control that [ __ ] And they want 20K for this thing. Is that how much it is? It's the dumbest [ __ ] thing I've ever
00:49:55
heard. I was thinking about getting one. I know. You know, I love to wait for Optimus.
00:50:00
Yeah. I'm going to wait until that improves though. Yeah. You know what I mean?
00:50:05
Bobby, would you like me to clean up the cat poop today again? Yeah. I don't want to keep asking you, Neo. I
00:50:11
think it's the dumbest. I watched the video of it. You know what it did that blew my mind in that one promo video? It
00:50:16
does this. It like wakes up. He's like, "No, load the dishwasher." And then it goes like this and it looks at its hands. And that made me go, "Fuck."
00:50:23
Because that's what I do. If I'm like [ __ ] up on drugs, I always looked at my hands. Yeah. Because you're like, "Oh, where am I? Who is this? Mine."
00:50:30
Imagine sleeping and then that's Wake up. Look at that. Neo, what the [ __ ]
00:50:36
I need you to wake up. Also, put a mouth on it. Yeah. I mean, you did the eyes. What's
00:50:42
How hard is it? Just put a mouth. Let me get a little bit of morning head. We're We are literally three years away from these things also being just sexy. It's like
00:50:49
the Neo programmers are like, "Look, sir, they're doing no chores all day long. They've loaded not one dishwasher."
00:50:55
We're we're 10 years away from um probably 20% of the households having
00:51:00
something like that in the house. How many people have a Google device where you can talk to it and it can play music or how many have like a Alexa or
00:51:06
whatever? Yeah, you do. You do? Yeah. Three out of five. 10 years ago, you were like, "What are you talking now?" 15 years ago. But now in the
00:51:14
future, everything's going to be automated. You're going to talk to the microwave. You're going to be like, "My get the food from the fridge, talk to
00:51:20
each other, and then put it in there and heat it up." Yeah. And by the way, yeah, going to be rad. Fancy went home to
00:51:25
Spain to go see family. You were gone for what? What? Two and a half weeks. Yep. Exactly.
00:51:30
Two and a half weeks. Yeah. Cuz I miss you every day. I have it on my calendar. Fancy gone. Fancy gone. Fancy gone.
00:51:36
Fancy gone. I We did miss you like crazy. I texted you a few times to see how much I missed seeing you. I finally
00:51:41
joined um Bobby's club. What is that? Oh yeah, it's a tough one, man.
00:51:48
Yeah, it's I still um at times I'll just think about them, you know. It's it's so
00:51:55
surreal that they're no longer with us. Yeah. The worst thing was the bureaucracy of death. You know,
00:52:01
the bureaucracy of death. Yes. That's insane. It's a great band. Yeah. It really is. It's a great band.
00:52:07
Bureaucracy of death. so much stuff. There's so much [ __ ] that comes along with death.
00:52:12
Oh yeah. Yeah. And it's also a racket is what you're like the amount of money that happens when people die. The amount of
00:52:18
It's just It's [ __ ] It's a racket. It's crazy. Birth, wedding, death. The three best best businesses you can get into cuz it
00:52:24
will never go away. Yeah. If you want the most secure job in the world, do births, weddings, and deaths.
00:52:29
You will never not have work forever. And they can and they [ __ ] people over. They rip them off. Oh yeah. Everything was like that. Like my
00:52:35
dad wanted to be cremated like like yours and we have to still pick a um
00:52:41
coffin. Wait, why? Exactly. That's what I asked. Well, because that's how it is. They're not
00:52:46
going to cremate it by itself. So, you have to buy and they show you. You don't know the prices. It's like how long is
00:52:52
it going to be there? Like just to go through the thing. Wow. So, so basically they're like you have to pay for the coffin for them to
00:52:59
be in it while they while they burn it, right? God, that's [ __ ] crazy. But everything was like that. Insane.
00:53:06
Yeah. And do you have the ashes? Yeah, I do. Do you want to mix ashes with me?
00:53:12
It's not a bad idea. Yeah. Yeah. I still have better mix better.
00:53:17
You get a Spanish Korean goat. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What would happen though? What would
00:53:23
happen if you to their souls? Yeah. Oh, they probably they would just bump into each other. They don't even know each other. It' be
00:53:28
freaky. Just merge in the after. you. Yeah. Yeah. Where would you love to spread your
00:53:34
dad's ashes if you had like some place in Italy, you know, a place he loves? Some My dad was an art
00:53:39
history uh professor, so something in that world. That's [ __ ] cool. Like anything Italian like over an olive
00:53:45
garden. Can we do that? We go back to Johnny Vinny's if you got Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:53:50
We can sprinkle your dad over the gem sap. My budget is tight, so Yeah, maybe. Do you want to be burned?
00:53:56
Yeah. Okay. Yeah. My grandfather uh who was like my literal hero I've talked about on the
00:54:03
show. He always he always was like land is for the living. He would go past cemeteries. He'd be like this is [ __ ]
00:54:09
[ __ ] It's a [ __ ] way. It's like you don't need to. No one is immortal. Land is for the living. Get out of here.
00:54:15
Let the next people have the land. Why do you why do you have to plot land and be like I mean I grew up like having to go to
00:54:20
the cemetery and like you know people like it's a little surreal like cleaning the Oh yeah. Now did your some people have a stone?
00:54:27
They have a tombstone. Do your dad. Does he have one? No. No. No. My dad didn't want any of that. Your dad's the [ __ ] man.
00:54:32
I'm going to go old school. Barry. Barry. Yeah. Yeah. Right. I mean, just in case. And just in case it's like, what if
00:54:39
McCon wants to visit me? No. No. We But here's what you do. You take the ashes, you spread them in a place that means meaningful to you that
00:54:45
you can visit often and then you see them all the time. But your little tidbits and ashy bits are all over the [ __ ] place. What I'm
00:54:51
saying is is that my body will be in a place your body will be your body will be gone. It'll be gone before you even
00:54:57
before anyone It's gone. It's You're not there anymore. You'll rot through the coffin. You'll You'll rot through to the coffin.
00:55:03
The bugs and the things will get in there. They eat you. It dissipates into almost nothing. There's not There'll be nothing left. God, it's so depressing.
00:55:11
I think it'd be cool to be buried just no coffin and actually just decompose in the earth. Yeah, that's Well, they do that, dude. They do those raps. Those They're called
00:55:17
like eternal uh what are they called? It's tree. I'm gonna do a tree one. Yeah. The famous actor did it. There was a
00:55:22
famous actor that did that, right? that he or he said cuz he got cancer that he wanted to do it. But it's like an
00:55:27
eternal they wrap you in this biodegradable thing and you kind of go back into the earth and it's all that's [ __ ] rad. That to me is very cool.
00:55:34
Yeah, just burying a body is illegal. This is Wait a minute. Seriously?
00:55:39
Like a felony? I mean, you can't if you die, you can't just bury McCone in your backyard. I'll be right back. Oh, dude. Speaking
00:55:46
of that, this is [ __ ] crazy. They just found in Vegas, did you see that? 200 plus bodies or something buried in
00:55:53
Vegas like casino casino. I know they finally found Wow. They finally found what was a funeral
00:55:59
home. It was a funeral home that did it. Now they're pinning it on a funeral home. A funeral home recovers 300 plus piles
00:56:05
of human remains outside Las Vegas. What do you mean a funeral home took the bodies and buried it?
00:56:11
No, they're What do you mean? There's a federal investigation, Zuman, who d federal investigation on into who
00:56:16
dumped more than 300 piles of human remains. I think a funeral home did it. But why would they do that?
00:56:22
Uh, it's probably cheaper than paying for the because there's got to be some sort of I bet you it's expensive to remove human remains. There's probably a
00:56:28
fee. And they were like, "Fuck this. We'll just throw it in the desert." I'm guessing. Wow. Bureau of Land Management officially
00:56:34
confirmed piles were human remains. The department was actively investigating crem. So they were all cremated. Cremated bodies.
00:56:40
Well, then what's 315 piles of dead bodies? Wow. That's so many. Yeah. There are rules to you know in
00:56:47
order to spread the ashes you know you want to do it in in the ocean you have to be I don't know how many kilometers
00:56:53
in you cannot just do it right so there are laws you can scatter you're on your own
00:56:58
property obviously of course public land the rules may vary by the location national parks you have to get a special use permit
00:57:04
who do you think is buried in a spread in a in a national park got to be Roosevelt right
00:57:10
I mean wouldn't that make the most sense oceans and waterways but you can spread ashes sneakily a lot
00:57:15
People do that. Yeah, people do it all the time. Well, people do, you know, people do a lot I've heard this that people go to like when they go to baseball games or soccer field,
00:57:21
soccer pitches or something that means a lot to them, they carry a little bag and they they spread it out there. Oh, cool. That that I think you would [ __ ]
00:57:27
The Emirates. Yeah. What is that? Someone's mom from Bad Friends Live that What? Are you being serious?
00:57:33
Yeah, it's Luke's mum. This is from Oh, this from London. No, no, it was from um I believe
00:57:39
Pittsburgh. I can't believe we still have that. Yeah, we've had it for two years here. We don't know what to do with them.
00:57:46
This is meaningful to me. Well, let's combine Luke's mom, your dad, and your dad. Yeah. Yeah. This is what happened. What if Luke's mom's hot?
00:57:51
Yeah. Your both your dads would be like, "Fuck yeah." Oh, yeah. Very cool. Yeah. Yeah.
00:57:57
From the afterlife. Let's mix some. Dude, I see bone. Do you have some Do you just have some
00:58:02
of your dad? He's not here in LA. He's not going to make it. He's not going to do it. Why? I just think we should.
00:58:08
I mean, I guess. Did Koreans and Spanish always get along? H I think we I think my dad and your dad
00:58:13
would get along. Koreans are a little abusive, so I don't know. A little. Holy [ __ ] Well, look at that.
00:58:19
Modern relations between South Korea and Spaniards are very good, characterized by increasing cooperation and cultural exchange. Historically, Spanish
00:58:24
missionaries who first encountered Koreans described them as peaceful, intelligent, though a long period of limited interaction followed. Once they
00:58:30
saw them once, they were like, "They're very nice." Like, you going to go back? No chance. Both countries have since forged a
00:58:35
modern strategic partnership based on shared values like democracy and have experienced similar histories of civil war and subskin rabbit economic growth.
00:58:41
It is that is pretty [ __ ] interesting. I I mean it is it is kind of wild to think about the spreading of
00:58:48
the ashes and what does that do for the area that they're spread in? I like when you go back to the east coast and you're in some old creepy
00:58:54
[ __ ] you're like it's got to be b I think I think haunted [ __ ] it's only because they buried stuff beneath it.
00:58:59
Like when you're on native land, it's cuz they buried on native land. And when they're like, "Yeah, that area is haunted."
00:59:04
I'm always like, "Well, they're under there." You know? Mhm.
00:59:09
I also saw uh talk about country relations. I saw
00:59:14
this thing this morning on the way to the airport about Finland in the Finland open prison program. These guys get to
00:59:21
like come and go as they please. Yeah, they have cars. It's [ __ ] unreal. They have cars. This guy was working out and then he
00:59:26
went to he went to work. He went to a cold plunge. Yeah, I saw that. I saw that. Yeah. Yeah. This guy. This guy. Yeah. Look at Hey, I murdered
00:59:33
somebody. He's He is in there for murder. For murder one. And And he's like joking
00:59:38
around. He goes to a garden. He's like picking FL. It's pretty It's wild. Yeah. I mean, the idea of in Europe is
00:59:43
that, you know, prison is a place to reh rehabilitate. Yeah. It's something that Americans do not
00:59:49
believe in. No. No. But do you believe in it as a European? I think so. Yes. I think it's a
00:59:54
I think some people Yeah. I mean, obviously there's they might be some exception. We probably have the world's most
01:00:00
violent, twisted criminals. I would imagine the US is number one again. Hell yeah. At that I bet we have the most [ __ ] up
01:00:06
wild [ __ ] Yeah. Okay. What What crime? Let's say we're a government.
01:00:11
We are kind of a little We're a little government. What crime is too much to do the rehab?
01:00:17
How about seconddegree murder? Second degree? See, look up second degree. No, let's say I'm a presenter. I'm going
01:00:22
to present you a case. Yeah. All right. So, um, I have a client here, Al. Welcome,
01:00:28
guys. Thanks for What's the client's name? Alfred Simmons. And, um, he, um, came home from a trip
01:00:36
early. Went to his house. Yeah. And his wife was having sex with two of his workmates.
01:00:42
Where do they work? Uh, Costco. Oh, seriously? Yeah. I love Costco.
01:00:48
Corporate, though. So, this man Okay. This man, this man comes home from work. Yeah. He finds his wife in bed with two of his
01:00:53
Costco co-workers and they're going at it. What position are they in? Oh, every position, my friend. Um Wow. So, he's just sitting and watching.
01:01:00
He's cucking. Is he cucking for a little? Yeah. Well, his friend David is upside down. I don't know how they got the ropes tied around his ankles upside down
01:01:07
on just the ceiling, but he's upside down and he's licking her um
01:01:12
tush armpit. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Please don't assume, sir. Sorry. Okay. And um the other one, a little
01:01:19
dwarf man, little person. All right. And he's got marshmallows all over his body.
01:01:25
He boiled down marshmallows, put it all over his body, right? And he's sort of just like on her chest and just
01:01:32
getting the marshmallow juice on her on her breastes. Got it. You know what I mean? Region, right?
01:01:37
It sounds more fun than bad. It's pretty fun. It was a fun time. But anyway, this guy, this um Simmons took a machete.
01:01:45
Simmons. What was it was Alfred? Alfred Simmon Simmons. Mr. Simmons. Mr. Simmons. Yeah. I'm sorry. I call him
01:01:51
Simmons. Yeah. He took a machete. Yeah. Uh and he chopped up
01:01:58
the unfortunately. But what about the other men? They're fine. Okay. Yeah.
01:02:03
So, it was an unintentional second degree killing. It was non premeditated. It was That was second degree.
01:02:08
Yes. Cuz since it was a dwarf, right, we couldn't charge him with first first degree, right? Yeah. Oh,
01:02:14
you could always get him for half degree murder. We we consider that and it's like a half half degree murder.
01:02:20
Half person. Yeah. So anyway, um he deserves rehabilitation. Okay. Good. Good. Right.
01:02:26
I I heard you have a client. But I would I would say this. Yeah. Yeah. You would need to have him make amends
01:02:32
with the family with the family of the the little person that was murdered. So you'd have to get him to go to find that first of all, you got
01:02:39
to find that tree that Well, we we'd have to buy him a plane ticket to get to Middle Earth and Right. Yeah. Yeah. And we don't even
01:02:45
know how to That's what I'm saying. We don't even know how to do that. So, I heard you had a little client. I do have a client. Yeah. So, tell us.
01:02:50
Yeah. Barbaduke. Uh, Mr. Barbaduke here. Well, based on the name, Alan Barbaduk. Okay. Uh, he's a he's a doctor and a lawyer
01:02:57
and a physicist. Oh, wow. He's very well accomplished. Oh, already then. Probably ready for re
01:03:03
rehabilitation. I don't know. Okay. Well, the case was pretty egregious. He was eating lunch at a
01:03:08
Jimmy John's and uh Good sandwich. freaky fast. And uh I
01:03:14
I'll tell you, he was eating lunch and he found a pubic hair in his sandwich. Oh. And he turned around and a bunch of the
01:03:20
young teenage pimplefaced boys braces. They were laughing. Shit's lit, dude. What do you think about that, bro? Our
01:03:27
pubes are in your [ __ ] mouth, [ __ ] Oh, so these kids put their own pubic regions inside the sandwich. Well, that
01:03:33
is three teenage boys. Really uncalled for. Three teenage boys. Um wow. But Barbaduk was he took this
01:03:39
the wrong way because he was having a flashback from the time. What was his first name? Uh what's Barbaduke's first name?
01:03:45
Mr. Barbaduke. No. What's his first name? You said it doesn't matter.
01:03:52
But Mr. Barbaduke had a flashback from his childhood where um he was bullied when he was very young and many people
01:03:58
in the neighborhood make him eat their pubes. So it was pube the Duke. It was a game play. That's understandable. So Mr. Barbaduke kind of had a
01:04:03
flashback. Uh he grabbed What did Mr. Barber Duke do? He grabbed one of the butter. He grabbed one of the
01:04:09
bread knives um and he slowly um cut up each of the teenage boys and he cooked
01:04:14
them and they're still now serving some of them at Jimmy John's. It's it's a new flavor. You know,
01:04:20
Chipotle introduces something new every couple of months. Yes. Now Jimmy John's introducing Teenage Boy. Okay. Uh any
01:04:26
Well, it's interesting that you would say that because it's like first of all, um you would think that once somebody's
01:04:33
carving up one teenage boy that the other teenage boys would run. He cut he uh he he dismembered all he he
01:04:40
took the knife and cut off all their legs with a butter knife. With a butter knife. A bread knife.
01:04:46
A bread knife. Bread knife seems difficult to do. Well, dude, be Mr. Barbaduk is quite strong. He trained he trained Taekwond
01:04:51
do and uh swordmastery when he was in college. Okay. Well, I've never seen that done,
01:04:57
but anyway, he's very skilled. Yeah, he's well skilled. What do you think, guys?
01:05:03
Rehab. Rehab. Rehab. Rehab. Rehab. Rehab. You think he's good? Yeah, we're good. Yeah, he's good. Mr. Barbara Duke, we're fine.
01:05:09
Yeah. Yeah. Carlos doesn't realize he's Mr. Barbad. In prison, can you wake up when you whenever you want to wake up?
01:05:15
No. I think there's a there's a bedtime, there's a wake up time, there's a yard, but I can't go I'm going to sleep in. I'm going to mix up. You would You would The prison would
01:05:22
hurt you a lot. Oh, I bet. Cuz bedtime. They wouldn't be able to walk or anything. You could. I mean, and honestly, then
01:05:27
you'd have to get up and do [ __ ] They need No, but I can't go. Hey, yo, prison guard. What's your name? Larry.
01:05:33
Prison guard. Yeah. Tomorrow. I'm Larry. Hey, Larry. So, tomorrow, you know, breakfast and
01:05:38
all that stuff. We sleep in. No, wake up. You got to do exercise and clean. Yeah, but I'll do that after lunch.
01:05:44
No. Well, we'll just beat you then. What do you mean? We'll just beat you. We'll physically come in. I didn't do anything. I just want to
01:05:49
sleep in. I I tire. Too bad. No cameras. Oh [ __ ] You'll beat me with what?
01:05:55
Huh? What would you beat me with? What do you want to be beat with? Baton.
01:06:00
Do you think they would beat me? [ __ ] They would make me get up in the morning like a military. Abs [ __ ] That's what they do. To work.
01:06:06
You got to go [ __ ] Do you sleep early? Like, yo, I'm I'm going to sleep early. I think so. Do we even go to bed early?
01:06:11
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think you I don't know. Lights out is 11. It's like Can you Google it? I don't think they do. They make you wake up. I don't think
01:06:17
they do. There's No, I don't think so. Yes, they do. No. This is Also, it depends on what level of prison you're in.
01:06:22
Yes, you do have to wake up in prison around 6:00 a.m. Structured daily schedule includes mandatory headcounts and work assignments. Yeah, man. They do
01:06:29
you got to do [ __ ] You're forced to do labor. Yeah, it's it's you're doing late. Yeah. Oh my god.
01:06:34
They get paid. But they would let him do standup and get out of it. You know what I do?
01:06:40
What? [ __ ] everyone. Yeah. You would get [ __ ]
01:06:45
Whatever. Whatever it takes. I I want to sleep in. be bottom. Oh, how did it go? You How did that Friday
01:06:51
go? It was okay. I mean, I love San Francisco. The punch is great. And you were there before and then you know they talked all about you. Bobby was just
01:06:56
here. That was a cool week. It was me Tuesday, Wednesday, then you Thursday, Friday, Saturday, right?
01:07:02
And on Friday during the day, uh, Matt Na shows was Doug Benson. How funny is that? No.
01:07:07
Yeah, he did 4 p.m. Wow. He does like 420 shows in certain cities. He'll do Oh, that's fun. At 4:20 p.m. Yeah. I think he did
01:07:14
Saturday before me, I think. That's a lot of fun. I didn't even get to [ __ ] see him though because obviously he's on the road in and out.
01:07:20
But yeah, no dude, that Club Punch was great. I San Francisco's awesome. There is also a perception of San Francisco that that
01:07:26
comics have sometimes where they're like San Francisco liberals snood. They were [ __ ] I could I said everything. It
01:07:34
was rad. It's fun. They I I I just think San Francisco is misunderstood as an
01:07:40
audience. Also, the homeless seem safer. They're not as knify. Yeah, they're not
01:07:46
as knify and they're having conversations with themselves which is nice. That's I just saw a guy doing you ain't
01:07:51
got no clarity within this time frame. What do you mean Jamal? They're like
01:07:58
talking to each other. Infinity Stones create the magic. You know what I mean? Like it man. And
01:08:06
they're having conversations with each other and so you're just kind of walking by. You can't add. No,
01:08:11
you can't. You can't go. The mind frame is down below and they're like, "Why'd you say it?" You know what I mean? Yeah. But
01:08:18
you you can listen to them. They're not You know what I mean? Like Knive Shanky. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We needed We needed That would be funny
01:08:24
to put an uh homeless guy at an improv and sign him up for 101 or whatever over
01:08:29
at UCB. Yeah. Just a homeless schizophrenic guy and he just kills. He gets on SNL year two.
01:08:35
Yeah, that'd be cool. Yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, Crazy Bones.
01:08:43
But um but there is a lot. Do you see a lot of homeless there? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They're fine. But
01:08:49
they're so sad. Well, we live here. I see it [ __ ] here. I I Where I love the homeless here. So crazy. I saw one person in Spain in
01:08:56
those two and you kill them. You kill them. You get rid of them. You guys are You got What do you do with the homeless? What do you do with the homeless here?
01:09:02
Airplane in LA. The J I saw a couple Tik Toks today
01:09:08
about Japanese homeless. You know what I mean? And the typhoons get them.
01:09:14
The typhoon definitely they do. That's real. The typhoons [ __ ] them up. Yeah. Yeah. Well, they look so cool. No,
01:09:20
that's just a cool guy. No, it's like a famous meme cuz it really is a homeless dude. I No, I wanted to um start a clothing
01:09:27
line called Hobo and that was when I brought it a company. That was the photo. I mean, you look I want to do a line of clothing that
01:09:33
looked like that. You wear that [ __ ] all the time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Balenciaga kind of does that. Yeah. They they get it off of that
01:09:39
Russian dude. You know that Russian dude? Mm-m. Okay. Look up Balenciaga and then the
01:09:45
Russian street wear guy. That's right. Have you seen this before? No. You're going to love this. This guy,
01:09:50
this guy right here, right? He goes to thrift stores and he's wear and he's
01:09:57
influencing fashion fashion trends. He's like a homeless guy in [ __ ]
01:10:02
Russia. Mhm. Are they paying him? No. So, they want to keep this man homeless just for his art ideas.
01:10:07
It's a good idea. Smart. Yeah. Yeah. Don't let him Don't let him in. And they steal his fashion ideas by
01:10:13
looking at his photos. And he knows this. Look at he That's what he normally
01:10:18
wears. And then look what they did. I mean, it's incredible. That's [ __ ] dark.
01:10:24
What? Who's who? The guy on the right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Go back to some of these other ones.
01:10:30
I mean, dude, dope. No. Yeah, he's got a cool style. Yeah, good style.
01:10:39
Yeah, he's cool. Obviously, he was an artist of some kind. I don't know.
01:10:46
Harper. Yeah. Bizarre. Just Ukrainian magazine. Wow. It's incredible.
01:10:52
It's crazy. They just stealing from them. Oh, let me tell you something that happened. Yeah. Oh my god. You just It pissed me off,
01:10:59
dude. Yeah. So I flying to San Francisco. You have a
01:11:04
Do you have a driver? No. How do you get to the hotel? Just Uber. Okay. Well, I have a driver.
01:11:09
I know you do. Okay. Yeah. He tells me. Yeah. You get the driver for me. I get the driver for you. It's not his
01:11:15
deal. Yeah. You pay for my driver. I pay for your everything.
01:11:20
Okay. So, anyway, um No, he pays for his own [ __ ] deal. Yeah, of course. Yeah. So, this guy, you know, I I land there's
01:11:27
a guy has a signed Lee. I go, "Hey, it's me." He's like, "What's your first name?"
01:11:34
I go, "Bobby." He's like, "Okay."
01:11:39
I'm not lying. It gets worse. Then we actually were walking smoking to the car.
01:11:45
Yeah. He goes, "Uh, what hotel you staying at?" He doesn't know. Isn't it in the [ __ ]
01:11:51
thing? So, I ask him. Go, don't you know what hotel I'm staying at? Because I do. Do you?
01:11:58
I go, "I don't know. It's in some of my I have to go to my emails and check it out." Just getting kidnapped by a fan.
01:12:03
No, just check out. He goes, "No, I can't put you in my car unless I know what hotel you're staying at." Seriously? Yeah. And I go, "Wait, what? You already
01:12:10
I already gave you my name, right?" He's like, "It's rules, man.
01:12:15
I've never heard this in my life." Yeah. And now I'm going through my emails. Then I finally go the hotel.
01:12:24
He's like, "Okay." Wow. And I still gave him a big tip. You I knew you I was just going to say I
01:12:30
bet you gave him 100 bucks. But I did I threw it at him almost. You know what I mean? I go, "Here you
01:12:35
go, man." I whipped it at him. Yeah. [ __ ] him, right? I just got out. Didn't say goodbye or anything. It pissed me off.
01:12:42
Yeah. That's [ __ ] weird, dude. Do you know why? He doesn't think that I am anything.
01:12:47
How many Lees have he seen? You know, it's San Francisco. I also said Bobby.
01:12:53
You know what I mean? That's a rare Lee. That's a less common Lee. Yeah. It's also like, you know, I don't
01:13:00
know. Is Did I read it wrong? No. That's [ __ ] weird though that he I don't know why he has Has that ever happened to you?
01:13:05
I take Ubers. You've never gotten a car. It's the same amount of money. No, I have, but they've never No, I
01:13:11
have. It's not the same amount of money. I What do you mean? It's more expensive for sure. It's way more expensive. No, but I I have taken
01:13:18
We've got I'll do a reverse from now on. Is that what you're saying? No. No. It's You're paying for it. You deserve it. I don't deserve anything. I just like
01:13:24
it's like I like the torture of a foreigner who's speaking on the phone. I like that.
01:13:29
I like to go to a new city and hear their foreign their foreign local, you know. Yeah.
01:13:37
Redhead. That's I would like I want to hear that. Yeah. No, but I I I I've had that before. I've
01:13:44
had it before where I'm like, "Oh, that's me." And because I use an alias, I don't use my name. I'm like, "That's
01:13:50
me." And then they have to like check to to make sure because it's not you know what I mean? Yeah.
01:13:56
Because it's not my name. I see. Because it's weird that they hold your [ __ ] name. That's the weirdest thing. That's why I put mine when we go on the
01:14:02
road. Yeah. That's smart. But you're so [ __ ] famous. Bobby Lee. The name is famous.
01:14:08
Oh, this guy had no idea. He knows who you are. No, he maybe he was [ __ ] with you.
01:14:13
He wasn't. Dude, I How old was he? He was like Brazilian, so he had a thick
01:14:18
accent. Oh, you know what I mean? But um I almost I almost gave him a bad review,
01:14:24
but I didn't do it. No. No, you can't do this. Why? Why can't you? You can't. It's not. Let him suffer. You're f You're living a great life.
01:14:29
[ __ ] him. You're right. You're right. You're right. Was it worse than our mean Uber driver in Detroit? What Uber driver? Remind me.
01:14:35
Remember we were three packed in the back of the car? He was being so rude to us and you were asking him if you could turn the AC on and he just wasn't
01:14:41
listening. Kept turning his music. Was that the one where we were laughing really loud? There was one Uber I was in with you.
01:14:47
That was ridiculous. Well, no, that was inond London. Oh, that was so funny. We were on the way to the show with
01:14:53
Chappelle. Yeah. Yeah, that was so funny. Yeah. Yeah. And you asked what this building was and he was like,
01:14:59
he goes and we and that's all he did. He turned back around and there was dead silence
01:15:06
at first and then all of a sudden we just lost. I died. I died laugh. Although we also
01:15:11
we also validated and we were like, "Oh, cool." Oh, you were in the car. Yeah, we pretended to be on the phone afterwards. Yeah. What?
01:15:17
You pretended to be on the phone. I'd be like, "What?" Okay. That was so fun. But then you guys were like, "We're
01:15:23
going to bomb tonight." Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We could feel it. Something was in the air that night. As soon as we
01:15:28
passed [ __ ] Abbey Road, I was like, "We're dead. We're legends." And then we're [ __ ] penis jokes.
01:15:34
Thank you for being a bad friend. [Music]
01:15:42
Woo! Yeah!
01:15:47
Woo! [Music]
