00:00:00
you two are bad friends who are these two idiots white dude i'm an asian dude you two
00:00:07
are disgusting oh you two or something we're bad friends welcome back to that what's up
00:00:13
welcome to bad friends welcome back to bad friends what's up how is everyone going
00:00:21
how's everyone doing are you okay well i had to disinfect the inside of the map yeah and now it's
00:00:27
really like chemically we got we got sent these masks and uh they're giving me a full on panic attack
00:00:33
yeah yeah well um you know when you make the slits as slantier than my slanty slits i think
00:00:40
it's pretty accurate i think it's pretty dead they slanted them out i think the accuracy is right on the money i could i only have
00:00:47
half vision i don't have half vision before but now i have like are my eyes okay no your your eye hole
00:00:52
isn't in the eyes i don't know what you're doing where's my eyes is this my nose yeah my eyes are in the right place
00:00:58
we are you can see me yes are you fine can you see me i could barely i could totally see you you can yeah just look through the mouth you could you look to the mouth if you can't see much
00:01:12
all right i'm taking this off it's creeping me out it's creeping me out so much it is it's like looking at you with that
00:01:18
is grossing me and creeping me out oh you're just crazy yeah all right thank you oh for the masks yo bad friends welcome
00:01:31
back thank you so much for the masks uh gianna and keenan very cool of that diana and keenan guys
00:01:37
it's dead on almost fear fuel masks at fear fuel mass oh so it's a it's a it's a company that makes masks yeah fear fuel masks so you could just send in your photo and they'll make
00:01:48
masks i hope so i don't know they just did that for us as a gift i think i don't know how they got my [ __ ] cheeks right
00:01:54
just just the right amount of sugar and spice and everything nice no i'm just saying honestly how from a photo can you get
00:02:01
the cheeks uh because i think that i think you have a very specific type of cheek
00:02:07
they're i'm treading lightly here yeah well well it's just very specific your type of cheek yeah your wallets your cheeks kind of
00:02:18
they look like um [Music] uh about you know um bow bow yeah you know bao the food yeah yeah it looks like foul yeah it has the same kind of uh perfect
00:02:30
little plumpness to it well i know there's some liquid in there there might be some meat yeah but i do know that there's liquid inside of there yeah you're a little
00:02:36
dumpling your face is dumpling cheeks pull up your mask yeah this is my mask yeah yeah i don't understand how they got you know what i have sugar in my hair yeah you know what rat leather is
00:02:49
rat leather yes is it with your mom is it which your mom uses to make your clothes when you were a kid no rat leather is similar to the
00:02:55
stankiness of um your mom's vagina okay i mean you started with money with my mom you always say about me you really hurt me just now no i didn't yeah you did you
00:03:07
hit my eye you always say disgusting stuff about my mind i just attacked my mind i knew when you said rat leather you were coming
00:03:12
after my mom i knew it no your skin but then you turned into a mom fight and then all of a sudden i had to go there
00:03:19
i'm sorry i have to win okay i'm sorry why do we why do you you guys why do you mad guys resort to violence all the time because you people don't understand
00:03:31
why do you resort to violence i had to throw this at you because the mom stuff it's enough i love your mom bobby i do
00:03:39
bobby she's my favorite bobby you know what if i ever see your mom you know bobby you know what i'm gonna do bobby i want to buy your candles whoa what's so [ __ ] cause i'm gonna
00:03:51
buy her candles yeah i'm waiting okay i'm gonna buy her a burke williams right she doesn't go to that spa gift certificate fine but if they have one in chicago no
00:04:01
no i'm sure they do yeah i'll get her one okay i'm gonna get our 500 pass okay so they do seaweed wrap right mm-hmm
00:04:09
steam all that stuff yeah yeah yeah and then i'm gonna set i'm gonna send her to um
00:04:14
are you gonna get violent no you're not gonna get violent no i'm gonna stay i'm gonna also uh have
00:04:20
her go on a day trip into the stables horse you want to see your head busted open for real are you i'm [ __ ] i know but i'll do
00:04:33
it because i i'll do it okay forget the stables the horseback riding okay why weren't you so angry about that i
00:04:40
didn't sleep last night i didn't either that well i had nightmares why all night long why vince vaughn was in my nightmare i love
00:04:46
him i'm not kidding big fan he was chasing me he he does that he was chasing me and yelling at me yeah
00:04:52
all i really wanted to do was start this episode on a good foot with the masks we did and say thank you and also today
00:04:59
yeah is rudy's birthday's birthday happy birthday to you happy birthday [Music] to [Music]
00:05:41
thank you how old are you 19. no we did it oh man all right so hold on do you i don't know do you guys make wishes in the philippines yeah
00:05:55
okay do you blow all your candles and do the same thing yeah the philippines all right so um i don't know i don't
00:06:00
know what they do over there i don't know if they hit a squirrel for good luck i don't know all right so close your eyes and make a nice wish that you
00:06:05
really really mean yeah okay okay we're gonna look the other way because we don't want to jinx it go ahead
00:06:11
but wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait one second before yeah before you do yeah if you don't blow out all the candles
00:06:17
candles in one try i can't i can't tell you i'm telling you right now the wish doesn't come through yeah no george will die
00:06:23
oh don't blow them all out yeah yeah george will will die if you can't blow him out in one swift then george dies and you don't
00:06:31
get your wish yeah oh wait what if that's her wish that could be whoa all right all right all right dude
00:06:37
that's heavy so either way i guess it's a win-win yeah so ready okay oh what did you wish for what would you wish for um don't tell us
00:06:51
that ruin you can't tell you asked me yes you never you never tell that's the rule
00:06:56
yeah it wasn't it wasn't the right wish so it's fine all right wait wait let's okay what was the fake wish then for anime stuff yeah well tito andrew and bobby no just me
00:07:10
i got you a gift and bobby here no bobby bobby had literally nothing to do with this and you know it and you know what and you know what they're doing
00:07:18
well who's on the cover of the package show the camp show your camera who's on the cover brood puncher hunter hunter hunter
00:07:24
you still like them right i sound like an uncle you still like those guys right uh if the bow is too tight we can scissors it we can just cut that oh there it is all right so what's inside the bag i'm excited
00:07:39
what is it what do we got a few gifts a few gifts start off with hunter hunter face masks wow that's cool very cool very cool very cool and hisoka's on
00:07:54
there and then what is that are they numb chucks it's funny she never knows how to get
00:08:00
close to the mic but she'll hit it with all the stuff to make it loud it's insane what is this bobby guess
00:08:06
numchucks which is a good guess yeah chopsticks could be even better guess oh a scroll a scroll that's cool show the camera so
00:08:14
they can sort of hunter hunter hunter it's like a i don't know what do you call that a little banner i figured you could hang it up right
00:08:20
there we could hang it up at your desk yeah yeah maybe over george's face and then
00:08:26
last but not least i got you two oh thank you so no you know wait so there's two of those the redheaded one looks like me and then
00:08:38
who's the other guy do you know these guys are from the volleyball show what's it called yeah i know i knew that when i ordered
00:08:44
it you did thai cute did you order it or did you go to tokyo town today i went to i went to tokyo town today and
00:08:51
it's unbelievable i went to little tokyo today and i was me and my wife were so excited to get you gifts today and the
00:08:56
anime store was so funny andrew bob it is so annoying that i ordered that [ __ ]
00:09:02
three weeks ago yeah online and then you're [ __ ] claiming it shout out to the anime store
00:09:07
downtown how cool is that jules you know that jules you know that he did not go to [ __ ] japan town
00:09:12
today i think he did yeah i definitely did i went to tokyo i went to little tokyo today unbelievable and by the way i forgot how
00:09:19
good the food is that the like what did you get down there what do you think i got down there ramen sush
00:09:25
oh sushi rum did you go to what hamas no ham was good though they were closed oh
00:09:30
pandy the doors were closed uh was i don't understand what like half the restaurants were open and half weren't
00:09:36
open yeah really kind of broke my heart yeah but anyway so what are the names of those two guys because i don't i don't even
00:09:42
know this is kagiyama to tell her to get yeah and then and this is hinata you just listen uh honestly you're 19 now yeah happy birthday right i think that
00:09:55
you know when you were 18 i thought you know i'm not gonna really um be so hard on her yeah in
00:10:02
terms of just doing simple things right like taking talking to a mic right right right right 19 is enough so see
00:10:10
listen okay yeah look at my finger okay your mouth should be in this distance yeah right on it right on it okay all right so tell us who it is yeah this one is kagiyama
00:10:21
he's the setter uh-huh for the volleyball is he your favorite who's your favorite this one oh the one that looks like me
00:10:27
kageyama literally pull up a cocky army again wait there's a little stand for him it sits upright in the little thing you don't have to do it right now but you
00:10:33
see how there's a plastic thing yeah and then so that's kageyama who's the other man hinata and what is he on the team he's
00:10:39
the middle blocker oh that's what i was yeah so that's looks like me and andrew um yeah in the
00:10:46
show um the asian one the one with the dark hair they're all asian the redheaded one is
00:10:52
asian too i've got i've got way more flavor than you know dude yeah really i ran my uh i ran my uh 21 of me
00:10:58
or whatever it is 40 48 and me yeah yeah 889 to me 69 to me yeah guess what what
00:11:03
16 irish i'm barely irish i thought i was a lot 12 nigerian 6 korean 48 moldovian
00:11:18
i'm korean dude you're not korean man i am i'll show you the 86 in me no i'll prove
00:11:24
it a korean person's penis isn't translucent it's the same size as a korean person's
00:11:30
feelings i know but yours is like the those it's a jellyfish it's glowing you can see right through it
00:11:35
some some people like it because then you can see what's going on inside of it i don't need to know i don't need to be in science class when i'm sucking your
00:11:41
dick you mean i want all that stuff sheathed yeah you want a sheath yeah yeah i got it so hi so happy birthday rude thank you andrew yes you love it yes
00:11:52
well i'm happy that you like i i actually i'm you know what i said to the to the girl there what this is actually
00:11:58
annoying i asked the guy i said hey i'm looking i said for my niece i said i'm looking
00:12:03
for my niece for a gift she loves hunter hunter and and she loves hisoka and and
00:12:09
the guy there goes oh i don't think we have any hisoka stuff left and then the girl says oh your niece
00:12:15
loves hisoka yeah and then she shows me those things then she goes does she like what's the volleyball show
00:12:20
hi cue does she like haikyuu i go you bet she does no idea was praying i was like
00:12:25
really i was like please be please like haiku yeah and then she said which which of the five figures the five main people
00:12:31
do you like or six main people do you like yeah and i picked the redhead because of me and the other one because he looks a
00:12:36
little bit like you right and the girl goes oh those are very popular characters so i we picked right the other guys
00:12:41
aren't as popular right huh yeah but i still love them do you like them anyway who's your honestly is your favorite one in there
00:12:48
or no he's my favorite that guy is the redheaded one it's [ __ ] crazy it's amazing that's
00:12:54
amazing it's crazy um so happy birthday rude thank you back to you for real i didn't sleep last night and i know you haven't been sleeping yeah uh dreams no just nightmares dude
00:13:06
yeah crazy nightmares but like they're not consistent one thing is something and then it moves
00:13:12
to another part then it moves to another part and i tried to look him up and my aunt had one of these friends that used to read dreams
00:13:17
yeah i sent her an email and you know it's like yeah it's so funny they say that um
00:13:23
nightmares and dreams are only seven seconds long or something and the rest of your sleep is just you
00:13:30
don't i don't know but like i've had like voyages like meditations in my dreams how are those only seven seconds long
00:13:36
some of them i can plan out like i was in the house the other night yeah i could i could tell you room to room almost precisely what was going on in
00:13:42
each room and like i remember walking up the stairs and it's probably because it reminds me of my old friend matt's house they had one of those
00:13:47
landings you know a stair that has a landing it looks down into the house yeah and i remember how creepy it looked and someone was yelling
00:13:54
i could really like map it out seven seconds seems way too short yeah and then you'll have dreams you'll
00:14:00
somebody will appear in your dream have a cameo that you've never thought about in 30 years why was vince vaughn in my dream
00:14:05
vince vaughn yeah it's like i'll i'll be dreaming and i'm like craig right craig robinson no he's like
00:14:12
crawford craig crawford my friend from middle school and he just popped in he should be in the closet like cooking something
00:14:18
he's like beef stew yeah and i'll be like what are you doing here craig but they don't really talk for some reason i know they don't answer them any
00:14:25
lines but he's definitely in the show you know what i mean that's the best i think he's like he's background
00:14:30
he's background but still it's like why would it and it's like um you'll also um people that you don't
00:14:36
like will be your friend in it that well that's i hate that when you like are getting along with your enemies
00:14:41
oh right in your dreams yeah that creeps me out i don't like it kevin shay what are we skiing for
00:14:50
you hear me and kevin's like you know come on down down the slope there'll be those hot
00:14:55
chocolate down there all right kevin meanwhile if i was a conscious yeah i would kill him yeah yeah but you get
00:15:02
down there he's he got hot chocolate for you by the way laughing and you know when you go to drink the hot a cup of hot chocolate it's it's eric griffin it's just melted
00:15:08
in there and then we do the hot dog thing where we're like biting each end and we bite and we kiss at the end i mean
00:15:15
it's like why didn't my dreams do that i don't know maybe maybe it's did my self-conscious telling me to make up with him
00:15:22
no no it's that you've thought about him in a past certain amount of time yeah but why are we skiing together
00:15:28
because it's a metaphor for something you know what's so annoying about def jam none of them were deaf not one of those black comics was deaf
00:15:35
and i wanted him to put on one def one deaf black comic you know great to be here can you say great to be here on a deaf comic show great to be here
00:15:46
great to be here that's your first joke but they still do great to be honest they still do they they still do the uh the the material
00:15:53
right black people birds are much higher up than white people's butt right yeah like they say
00:16:05
[ __ ] be crazy we're meeting so look i've got you a meeting with a a sleep expert because
00:16:25
look the internet the fans are worried so i've got you a meeting with a sleep expert ladies and gentlemen this is doc this is
00:16:30
dr jay corsandi he is a uh he is an expert in all things helping bobby with his sleep troubles yeah so dr cassandi why don't you uh take it from here
00:16:41
because we're worried about bob's doctor i um i just i have to say that i'm not worried about it and everyone's like being crazy around me yeah i'm fine with
00:16:53
it i've always slept the way i've slept um i have um when i sleep my my girlfriend records me when i sleep and you should see that it's crazy what
00:17:04
i do i'll go like this when i'm sleeping oh gross as if it's already not hard to
00:17:11
date i know i know but i make that noise when i'm sleeping and and she records me yeah right and whenever i see it i laugh because i
00:17:17
go what the [ __ ] am i doing why do i do that you know when i'm asleep is that a sign of anything dr khasandi is that a is
00:17:23
that yeah so so when he says am i eating [ __ ] i just feel like i'm eating [ __ ] in the
00:17:29
dream you should do it more in real life so so you know i see a lot of patients are coming especially guys
00:17:34
and they say you know it's not a problem it doesn't bother me it bothers somebody else so in some ways it could be indirectly
00:17:40
bothering you because uh the girlfriend could be suffering from this she is yeah trust me she is she is
00:17:47
suffering but why am i making that right yeah so that's called mouth breathing and uh um do you wake up with the dry
00:17:53
mouth or do you have water by the bed or any of that going on well here's the thing i don't i try not to drink water a lot of water before i go to bed because yeah i was gonna say are you
00:18:04
doing this a lot of bathrooms at night as well okay so here's the thing and you you
00:18:10
know i would say you probably do want to be a little bit worried about this because most of my patients i'd say 90 or guys 40 to 50.
00:18:17
and i think you fall on that demographic as well what happened yeah when you turn 40 well
00:18:24
pause and what's happening is we're getting a big testosterone drop typically there's a partner or spouse
00:18:30
involved sometimes kids you know family work stress life and then weight tends to start creeping up
00:18:36
and what happens is that constricts the airway and that's what i specialize in those what's called airway management or
00:18:41
sleep disorder breathing so snoring and sleep apnea and as you start to develop more snoring and sleep apnea
00:18:47
that's when the health concerns are going to start spiking you know things like elevated blood pressure type 2 diabetes
00:18:54
i know you guys are a little bit more degenerate on this show so we could talk about uh libido loss a lot of guys come in and
00:19:00
say they can't get it up as much anymore they're taking viagra stuff like that so so these are bombs well you know i used
00:19:05
to be a [ __ ] machine um in a rabbit time usa 2020 all day long you know it's a drill i used to go like a like and now you're going nowhere else but hands-free
00:19:17
hands-free now it's like um sloth style it's it's uh it takes me about 45 minutes to an hour to get in the hole you know what i mean and then when i'm in there it's like it's just like
00:19:30
you know i don't even go up and down anymore i go like a hula hoop yeah it goes around and around and around around and i do it real slow
00:19:37
and then i just go i then last night well sorry for saying this jules but no put your fingers in your ears put your fingers in your ears last night
00:19:44
um if you can i made love to kalila and um i just said i just whispered in her ear i go
00:19:51
i'm just gonna lay on my back oh and she goes you want me to do all the work i got
00:19:56
everything all right so i laid on my back and she's just you know i mean does you know does her deo right yeah
00:20:04
and then your mouth breathing uh that's a dry mouth that kind of that sound that you make and that you know
00:20:15
those are all going to cause sleep loss for you and and research has shown that partners of
00:20:22
people who snore on average lose an hour of sleep at night and then but but is also is there death stuff involved i wanted to really scare
00:20:28
him with you like uh can he die yeah can he have a stroke can you have a heart attack like because what i have to let you know is
00:20:34
like he's a reckless human being four times like the hood of a stroke uh those are the two biggest ones
00:20:40
if you make it long enough then you're looking at what's called neurocognitive decline which is alzheimer's dementia no capacity function loss so so these
00:20:47
things tend to slow down and the reason this stuff happens is because poor sleep is an inflammatory process
00:20:52
we're not rejuvenating we're not restoring if we're snoring at night that's keeping our brain from getting into deeper stages of sleep
00:20:59
so it's just like if you have your phone and you plug it in the charger that's really beat up wire you're not going to recharge as well
00:21:05
which means you're not going to function the next day but ultimately he's going to all right dr shasta's bond what do we do
00:21:10
here what can we do to help him out does he need a sleep apnea the first step in something like this is a sleep study i mean
00:21:16
basically uh find out what's going on at night see that's what that's so that right so my doctor dr kawashiri
00:21:22
my doctor what's his name dr kawashiri is he a sleep doctor or just a doctor doctor he's my doctor he's a general practitioner okay well this this gentleman is
00:21:33
specific i understand that but that's but i was talking i don't know i'm just going to tell you a story i usually like kawashiri know that we're a little bit advanced
00:21:39
just remind me i let him know but he's very good well if you look at him up he's very good we will google him okay but go ahead so
00:21:46
um he does fred durst everybody um oh yeah i just made that up but uh i i just had
00:21:54
to defend dr kawashira for a second but i you know we talked to dr kawashiri before the pandemic
00:21:59
and he goes oh well you need to have uh he goes you need to have a sleepover yep and i go i'm out i'm like what study i'm not gonna come here and try to so i don't i need to wire stuff
00:22:14
so here's the deal the old traditional way old-school way of doing sleep cities yeah you'd have to pack a bag go spend the night at a facility or a
00:22:20
hospital uh yeah affordable they're take-home they're even shippable we actually just send them to your house
00:22:25
uh you do it at night and then you ship it back to us and then we plug in the computer and we get the report super easy perfect so so you can
00:22:33
you can you can ship it to us and we can use it and you can ship it back we can ship it back to you and find the results oh all right brother have a good day
00:22:40
thanks man bye blue this episode is sponsored by bluetooth i'm telling you right now andrew bluetooth really does work i've used it in my own personal life and as soon as i chew chew on it man i get a
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00:24:12
um you know i use doordash pretty much every day we use it pretty often you use it a little bit more than i do
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i do use it very very i love chinese food same pizzas from it thai is our favorite to order i love getting mexican
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mexicans you like to get a mexican mexican food yeah the real stuff that's what we have here in southern california doordash is the app that brings the food that you're
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paid a couple of mortgages through doordash yep they've gotten food of all kinds uh it's
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your first order zero delivery fees for the first month with doordash my eye still hurts right here
00:25:38
my eye still hurts from what from thought you throwing the mask on my face i didn't throw the mask at your face you did no i didn't
00:25:46
you did tape you got a little cut do i really yeah little tiny cut right above your eye seriously right on your eyelid actually i see it now yeah you did that
00:26:02
isn't that cool it's [ __ ] up what does that mean that you would [ __ ] attack me no but
00:26:07
what does that mean to you what means to me that little cut what does that mean let it go man it's gone it's over it's not no it already happened it doesn't matter right it doesn't mean that that's in the past
00:26:18
right no it what it means to me is it doesn't even matter things don't even matter right yeah what it can answer that cut that cut
00:26:23
represents that cut represents every time that you said something about my mom every time you were late and complained every time you
00:26:34
acted like a baby about something that's what that little tiny minuscule nothing cut the way that you go why do
00:26:40
you get frustrated at nothing that cuts a little nothing too it doesn't even exist can't let it bother
00:26:45
you but it's also a reminder it's a hint yeah hey [ __ ] with me and i'll i'll i'll i'll
00:26:52
[ __ ] you up i'll give you bigger cuts i have more stuff to throw at you i know but but see
00:26:57
but now you pushed me to the edge all right you pushed me on your birthday you called me a puss and then dared me to throw the cake and everything in my power wanted me to throw the cake and also
00:27:08
anime and punch through the cake yeah and kill you and and just like fold in your head with my fist yeah but why does it go to violence because there's no other way to get through to you
00:27:20
violence is the only way to get through this for me to get through to you not to somebody yeah i'm never violent with rudy i would never yeah because she's
00:27:26
she's conscious and aware and thoughtful you know so you had to resort to violence okay with you yeah i i don't i have to resort to violence with you that you don't you don't have to i do
00:27:39
because it reminds you of things that you shouldn't be doing no it doesn't what it does is it makes me want to
00:27:45
double down and then i'm going to hit you harder i know and then it's going to end up us not being friends and it's going to get
00:27:51
ugly so why don't you stop with the violence no why don't you stop with the [ __ ] like what did i do everything i brought
00:27:58
up rat leather right precise skin because i know you talked to about my mom and then i attacked you about your mom that's right and then i had i had to retaliate i know but because you started with the
00:28:08
mom stuff because you've unsolicited mom stuff at me all the time yeah you you do you do it
00:28:13
all the time so i just had to hit you i didn't mean to make you bleed and i did think hitting you with a soft mask wasn't
00:28:19
going to hurt but something caught you right in the eye and maybe that's god maybe that's jesus going god didn't hurt him god no it was the
00:28:26
devil yes it was yeah it's dark [ __ ] that you have to work out you're very angry i'm working it out
00:28:32
yeah yeah but with you but with you you make it you make it really no one's ever fossaulted me
00:28:38
that is so not true i've seen you get assaulted at the comedy store multiple times multiple people have punched you
00:28:45
one okay all right yeah and you deserved it really do you know why he did it you
00:28:51
called him an ugly jew bag no i didn't yeah you did you said you're a dirty jew because you and he goes you don't like
00:28:57
jewish people and you said no no he called me right because natasha legero had cheated
00:29:03
on him okay with who with ron peterson [Music] i don't know what that is ron peterson was a canadian actor who was martin schwartz friend canadian actor you know the story right
00:29:16
i do know the story then how about why don't that tell you because some of the people don't know the story all right so let's just go back right so ron peterson was an actor
00:29:24
on mad tv when i was on med tv and he was at the store with me he saw natasha legere go up in the belly
00:29:30
room and he goes i want to penetrate her and i go she's seeing my fennari and then i went down to the or to do my set
00:29:36
he stayed up there and while she got when she got off stage he got her number she left ari and then ari comes to me and he says can you break into ron peterson's office
00:29:49
at fox steal his email and then forward it to me i'm not breaking into somebody's [ __ ]
00:29:56
office to do that then he said if you don't do it you're the one that set them up and i'll [ __ ] kill you
00:30:03
that's not nice yeah so that's the kind of [ __ ] you would do that's crazy violence you're so crazy i know so first of all go there first of all don't go there i'm sorry
00:30:14
about about the cut yeah i'm not sorry about throwing the mask that you deserved the cut i don't i
00:30:20
didn't mean to hurt you okay but i did want to hit you with it because i thought that was fun because it's a this is like a symbolic
00:30:25
of me don't throw anything at my face again i'm going to throw stuff at you if i want to you break all of my requests and rules
00:30:32
so what are your requested rules let's start there we're tracking our friendships on the line now okay all right so let's talk
00:30:37
start there okay so what is what is the problem you have resentment let's do that how about not being so disrespectful of
00:30:44
me and or my time okay so today right like like not texting me back or not answering
00:30:50
my calls even even if it's just like a oh okay cool okay uh matt rife wants you to do a
00:30:57
stand up shows you interested i respond i'm not performing until we have vaccine right on that's
00:31:05
that's just one let's go through the other scroll of how many blues are on my side and no response on your end okay so um
00:31:12
i'll go through it too bobo i don't know what to say to that when somebody says hey what's up you don't know what to say is your is your name bobo do people call
00:31:24
you bobo yeah yeah okay so what do you mean andrew if you said to me hey firehead
00:31:30
hey hey hey freak monster boy but bubba let me just say something when you randomly say somebody's name
00:31:36
bobo it's not a question right it's an introduction to a conversation this is not a statement in any kind of way
00:31:43
i don't know how to respond you use a name to in to start again hey it's like saying hey if i go rudy
00:31:49
she goes what and then we start a [ __ ] conversation i don't yeah i know i just don't know oh so all right
00:31:55
so basically you should when you say instead of saying i don't know what you're saying yeah you don't say [ __ ] so
00:32:01
i you say bobo then i go andrew right you didn't say that you don't know you know who goes after that you didn't you know what goes
00:32:06
on i'll read what you said 69 of each other it's [ __ ] gay you sent me videos so i'm supposed to go
00:32:13
ha ha ha ha lolol smiley face emoji emoji you wanna [ __ ] i mean what the [ __ ] is
00:32:19
this what are you getting you're getting angry again no yeah what are you getting
00:32:26
egg we're just having a conversation okay so um the other day you said that i'm late it upset you okay every time you're late i understand that [ __ ] day right day at three [ __ ] 30 right i go
00:32:39
kalei please text andrew and say no i'm going to be let's go now she's like she goes you can't go right now i go why
00:32:47
because the [ __ ] postmates is running late and she goes the [ __ ] was there not a
00:32:52
red truck blocking my car out of the driveway right so i go holy [ __ ] and i kept
00:32:59
telling uh kalela we were almost gonna get in a fight i go if i'm [ __ ] late i swear to god i go
00:33:06
if i'm [ __ ] like andrew is gonna [ __ ] yell the [ __ ] out of me she goes let me text him she did text me exactly right so that
00:33:14
all that [ __ ] i had no control over i know you know how you know how like when a drug addict is like yeah no this time i didn't this time or
00:33:21
like you know when someone goes it was going to be the last bank we robbed or it was like i i just it was just that
00:33:26
one more time you know so so so my point is it's not like this was the one or two or three times the bank robbery let's go back to the bank robbery sure okay you and i are bank robbers
00:33:39
okay yeah and i look at you and i go um bro hey i forgot the masks that's what you would say oh [ __ ] i forgot the message
00:33:46
that's the point that's the point yeah and i don't know we're going to rob the bet are you sure
00:33:57
what i'm saying is is what you're saying that you're saying this is the last bank job we're going to do is the point right of this thing no the
00:34:04
point is let me just finish so you and i right rob a bank yeah okay which one whatever chase chase chase right okay and you say to me this is the last one i go yeah all
00:34:14
right we rob the bank right and we have a bunch of money and going to take care of us for the
00:34:20
next five ten years right right okay and all of a sudden like um we leave all the money
00:34:26
in the trunk of a from rental car you leave all that you leave whatever regardless because i didn't leave it all right why did you leave it
00:34:33
in the mouth you [ __ ] left it in the enterprise rental car yeah you already know the scenario and i go yeah we have to rob
00:34:38
another bank yeah that's what this situation is that's exactly right yeah yeah and we'd rob another bank and we'd get caught we go
00:34:44
to prison we said we had it if you didn't leave it in the chevy [ __ ] malibu and return it to enterprise you're saying it to me though is
00:34:49
that we i ca listen to like i was late i love you so much i hate you right now i love you you hurt me and i don't like
00:34:54
when people physically assault me oh stop it it was an accident uh honestly my eye i said i'm sorry
00:35:00
i i said i'm sorry all right you don't throw anything on my face again i said i'm sorry i didn't mean to cut you you're gonna throw something on my face again i threw this that's something on
00:35:11
my face plastic you're throwing myself again all i throw at your face now from now on
00:35:17
yeah is compliments and love okay bobby so why why are you doing it like that no i just i'm being real
00:35:23
sarcastic no i'm not let's be real i don't like it's like you have deep seated resentment because you bring out the worst in me sometimes
00:35:34
no i don't yes you do do it yourself i don't do it to rudy you do it to yourself i don't do it to
00:35:40
[ __ ] andres fancy b do i ever do i ever get uppity with you and insane see nothing fancy b yeah yeah
00:35:51
people know listen all right yeah i know what kind of person okay how about this i'll only hurt men let me just finish
00:35:58
yeah i will probably physically and emotionally hurt temperament and i'll fight you and i'll tell you i know that i want to kill you
00:36:04
know that you have a temperament right you have a certain way about you right i accept you
00:36:10
the way you are i really do i accept you the way you do as long as i don't get physically hurt by you
00:36:16
right just let me finish stop pretending i accept you i accept you the way you are stop making
00:36:21
it like this was an insane violence i threw a mask but i'm scarred flooded now i'm shut like a [ __ ] pirate now
00:36:27
i have a story to tell right i gotta tell people the story he threw a [ __ ] andrew santino [ __ ] mask at me
00:36:34
who did it andrew santino a funny story nonetheless he threw a mask of his own head at your
00:36:39
head yeah and i'm gonna say this right now if you ever [ __ ] put a scar on my face again right you'll see what's coming to you
00:36:46
what would you do nothing i know that's the point nothing but that's gonna be sad
00:36:52
because i'll have nothing to do with you oh yeah go ahead what you got i have nothing yeah yeah i have nothing get all because this is
00:37:02
the episode where you get all of it out i've done it every episode all right so every episode i tell you what bothers me
00:37:08
i told you that let's not let's [ __ ] finish it off i told you that right that i um i'm gonna do everything
00:37:16
i can to show up here on time today i tried you did a good job red truck [ __ ] i understand
00:37:22
and i was [ __ ] five minutes left i wasn't even that bothered by it all right that's number one yeah number two what else what else do
00:37:28
you do yeah that bothers you oh my god i'll just can i just email you no tell me now
00:37:36
no you have to i can't air it out cut it out we'll cut it out no no because you know what the irony is bob yeah you know what irony is right yeah the irony is
00:37:50
i love you so much this is real yeah yeah you can cut this out yeah i love you so
00:37:56
much yeah and i care about you see yeah no that's me absorbing it i'm sucking it
00:38:04
in that even the things you do that [ __ ] kill me i still love about you and it's a part of our relationship
00:38:18
the toxicity of toxicity the toxicity of what it does to me when you do [ __ ] that bothers me is probably why i like you yeah if you were boring i probably
00:38:32
wouldn't want to be your friend so ironically okay the the chaos that is bobby lee is why i think i love you right and
00:38:43
that's you know and once in a while yeah during the chaos of a tornado yeah you get hit in the
00:38:50
[ __ ] head with a mask yeah yeah stuff flies everywhere uh-huh the truth but the truth the truth
00:38:58
is i don't these kind of moments of like you know i mean hostility and weirdness and resentment and i don't resent you i
00:39:12
know but i'm just saying i enjoy the tension the tension of it right i strive on it that's my [ __ ] fuel
00:39:22
okay to live so let's keep it going i don't like being physically harmed you're gonna go back to this [ __ ] no
00:39:27
i'm going to already apologize i know i'm not no i'm just because we're not going to talk about it again i'm just telling you what what i do and
00:39:35
don't like i know what you okay nobody likes to get hit in the face with a mask right i'm well aware i just don't like it
00:39:41
okay you know i don't like being you know i like um being called a [ __ ] i like being like
00:39:48
you know mean i don't call you that i know i'm just saying i'm just telling you what i do like so i can from now on no no no
00:39:53
i'm just saying it doesn't you know i mean i like confrontation in that way all right right people you're you're
00:39:59
lazy you're fat you're nothing you're good for nothing all that stuff that you do right
00:40:04
i enjoy you're insane i only have nothing personally compliment i'm saying that i can handle any of that [ __ ] right what i can't handle right is i don't
00:40:16
want to die or i don't want to get scarred i wouldn't hurt you right i wouldn't really hurt you you're that type of guy
00:40:22
no i wouldn't i beg you i beg you honestly no be i know honestly can i just go here
00:40:28
and i'll i'll get on my knees i'll get on my [ __ ] knees man i'm gonna get our knees please
00:40:37
please don't physically hurt me again okay i apologize please sir don't hurt me again okay i'll think about it no no be real to say it right now i already told you i honestly
00:40:49
please don't do it again please [Laughter] don't do it again i promise i won't okay
00:40:59
for comedic purposes you do know right right now would be the best time for me to throw this mask at you
00:41:06
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00:42:17
know what i like um high quality razors yes and i also don't like you know um trying to search the town to find
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them right i like it i love harry's because it delivers right to your door and you know i get harry's and i love shaving your back
00:42:31
well i get hairy on my back and your back is nasty well when you shave it when we got harry's
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it was worth it we got we got some razors yeah yeah and it were and it's nice and smooth now
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founded by these two guys um jeff and andy and they were best friends yep and they realized that they were
00:42:47
overpaying for razors as all men do yeah and then they they create and they created the design the design and it's
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like well what harry's is doing is they want they want people to have access to something that's convenient that's nice that's
00:43:01
high quality but it's not going to rip you off like so many razors you go to go to the store to buy them it's it's disgusting these are sharper
00:43:08
they're nicer um and they're they're saying that everyone is is well the steel that they use is from sweden
00:43:14
yeah and they own the whole entire manufacturing process from rnd to the factory
00:43:20
to floor and it's so they they can see the process you know how sometimes like people make stuff and they just go to
00:43:25
china like i don't know where they're from yeah yeah these are hands-on guys yeah they know exactly what they're making
00:43:30
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00:43:36
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00:44:10
shut up i love you too yes but let me just say this okay and just since we're doing this jules don't
00:44:16
[ __ ] look at me that way because when i was in the car with you right when i was in the car with you
00:44:22
with some nice music on right what did i say to you and you laughed you said i love you
00:44:30
and what did you what was your response i laughed yeah okay do you not love him no no no no she doesn't and so now since we're doing this right now yeah we're doing it we're doing it right
00:44:44
now right that hurt you threw [ __ ] a mask in my face too in the car an emotional you also laughed because of your response do you know what your response was
00:44:56
nice music was playing right you know what i mean and um i just kind of was driving and i looked down and i got you know what i love you
00:45:03
and she goes she was eating a sandwich what that's what she says so then i put down the volume and i go i just said i love you
00:45:15
and she went like this she made this fish and then her response their face made me laugh like what the [ __ ] all right i don't love you what the [ __ ] all right
00:45:26
and then we both laughed but right so that's what that's the truth right what you did was
00:45:32
hurtful you threw a mask at me earlier okay that's what it really is yeah no this didn't even hurt that much
00:45:38
it did that hurt [Music] [Laughter] so um stop touching your eyes it hurts oh yeah the last thing is um
00:45:50
it i get weirded out i'm ready whatever it is yeah yeah please all right i get weirded out when
00:46:01
friends send me like you know cute memes what did i should what did i send you knows or something to you know let's giggle about something together you know i mean like school girls what did i say i don't
00:46:13
know what that is i didn't watch it right but it's like whenever somebody that's a video i sent you that we were gonna play
00:46:19
on this show okay but when you send me like so that's okay so i don't wanna you don't want me to send you [ __ ] though
00:46:25
i didn't know that well no you didn't because you ain't [ __ ] watching prefer with it i don't send you [ __ ]
00:46:30
cute memes look at how you're digging for [ __ ] that doesn't even exist you're right you're right i'm just looking now there is now you're pissing me off
00:46:36
i know sorry thank you look at me in the face yeah say sorry say sorry cause i'm gonna say
00:46:42
it to you i can't i'm sorry for hitting you in the face yeah so say sorry for what sorry for being from making up [ __ ] you
00:46:49
[ __ ] you [ __ ] drama queen sorry i love you so now you're allowed to get starbucks
00:46:54
by the way is this a new rule yeah delivered what's the difference if you go to the drive-through window
00:47:00
they won't let me no no i mean they won't let me i'm asking what what's the drive-through window
00:47:05
between a guy that delivers it i don't know they won't let me i don't get it do you know what it is
00:47:11
no i just follow what they call it you follow the rule yeah yeah the rules now i get i get i get not
00:47:17
being in an unclosed space but i think a drive-through seems like that seems regardless who's winning who's winning you didn't get coveted and i did so maybe that's but i also don't go to drive-throughs
00:47:28
ironically enough i i don't think i will get covered oh god whittling you won't you won't
00:47:33
because i just don't leave the house you know you you don't you don't think that i you won't you don't think that i
00:47:40
desire to to get it do you want to get it and get it over with no i i have a do you know fauci said half of americans
00:47:47
are going to get it by the end of next year half of americans will have had it by the end of next year what's that sticker
00:47:52
on the back of your phone me and kleila oh what is that where who when is that from is that new taco oh why i've never seen it um let's get into what let's just get
00:48:04
into it let's talk about the british bake off oh my god i love the british bake off do you watch the show are you kidding me
00:48:10
are you watching this season yes no be real i swear and we just finished the great pottery uh the great uh the great british
00:48:15
pottery um show uh on netflix why can't i watch a poverty show oh my god they make pots
00:48:23
oh they do the powdering wheel i don't know and they're but i don't know that one so can we talk about the british one fine we could talk about the break and
00:48:28
be breaking too breaking bread breaking bread do you watch it really yes we do or let me ask you because i don't know if you do
00:48:34
who's in it like give me a description of people that's in it margo uh kailyn no babe you you don't watch it
00:48:42
just why don't you be honest that you don't watch the show margot kaelin there's no margo killing in it uh uh um the new princess
00:48:51
the new princess this dude not watch it of course i don't watch that show that's insane you you don't watch the great british
00:48:57
great my sister my sister loves it and she got me to watch an episode or two with her when i was back home yeah and um i
00:49:05
i just don't know that i don't know i don't know if i care about watching people bake stuff it's hard for me
00:49:12
okay i i tried i know people like it no no it's not it's not about that it is about baking that's the crux of it that's the foundation of it right right but here's why i like it
00:49:26
and i i here's why i think it's a great show who okay who okay tell me why okay tell me why i must watch the show
00:49:31
okay because you know we live in a um america i know we live right well but he's not feeling no you know you and i specifically right we
00:49:43
live in this like kind of dark underbelly of comedy right we do okay and we live you know
00:49:51
like in terms of like um what we think about what we talk about you know some of our ideals and ethics
00:49:57
and because we're always kind of so dark and gloomy right that we live in this kind of you know i mean
00:50:03
under a shroud of you know i mean a shroud we're in the upside down we're in the upside down world
00:50:09
right we see everything we're in the company's so so dark and i mean we've i've seen dark things and yeah drugs and all kinds
00:50:16
of stuff right yeah yeah and when you watch the great british bake off right it's the polar opposite of that it's what it should be yeah it's happy yeah it's number one it's a competition
00:50:28
show where it's when somebody leaves the show they hug them goodbye there's no [ __ ]
00:50:34
cattiness like [ __ ] you know what i mean you should have [ __ ] made croissants better [ __ ] you know what i mean
00:50:40
there's none of that it's a funny show too i know that'll be a great show right it's like tanya was i'm so sad to see her go and
00:50:48
they hug and it's really pleasant even though the coach and i like the judges everyone gets together at the end yeah and they talk about it
00:50:54
right but number one number two it's very creative show it's like you know there's a technical challenge in the middle right but the first challenge and the last
00:51:05
challenge it's up to the person uh would they they decide what they want if it's like um bread week all right it's like you know we want you to make a bread shaped as
00:51:16
you know i mean colonial uh make it a colonial building right but you can use any ingredients you want right and you can use any kind of bread that you want so everyone becomes creative right
00:51:29
and it's um and it's interesting because you're like for number one i love bread i love anything baking everybody loves
00:51:36
bread right but i just love people's ingenuity and um because there's a time crunch too right
00:51:43
there's the stress of it but it's like um i just it's a wholesome show and i feel
00:51:49
like um i need it i do think you do because i i okay so what i agree with you on that i'll try it again yeah the reason i like the pottery show is there really a
00:52:00
pottery show because i've never heard of one swear to god i swear to god you're lying i swear to god it's on netflix i swear to god in my life why
00:52:07
would pottery be a thing pottery netflix show british look it's called the great pottery throwdown i love it
00:52:19
the great pottery throwdown it's on netflix okay in the same way that you're talking about the reason i love it
00:52:25
i like it because i i'm i'm fascinated by pottery my therapist says i should pot you
00:52:31
should pot i know but that you got to buy the wheel and and and i know me if once you're getting the
00:52:38
pot molded just right and it folds in on itself i'm losing it maybe instead of like buying the most
00:52:44
expensive mercedes you could have got a pottery wheel i didn't buy the most expensive mercedes whatever i don't even drive a mercedes what is
00:52:50
that benz that's like that's a kia sorrento that i drive it's not a mercedes it's a kia sorrento
00:52:58
it is yes oh okay okay and that has nothing to do with the i'm not gonna buy a wheel powdering wheel for my house why i'm just saying that you you spend so much on other things what are the
00:53:10
other things i spend on it's a kia sorento i don't have a mercedes that's not your car they're not that i see all the time there are 50 cars in our parking lot is
00:53:23
it mercedes is that a mercedes it's it's a i gotta go look at it then that's mine
00:53:28
that's his oh you have a mercedes fancy b under underlying fancy oh you have that kia sorento is yours that's mine oh well you get a better car but you spent
00:53:41
money on i don't spend money on anything okay not my clothes are terrible that's
00:53:46
true okay yes andres but he just said yes to me i've been to your house that's what i i buy nothing in my home your house looks like
00:53:56
i'm sorry yeah you hate the show place i know it is it's from a movie set we rent it out every night no no i rent
00:54:02
it out everything is it's like a you know a showroom at a furniture store mission plus
00:54:08
it's beautiful great conchs and ottomans do you know what mison plus means no it's a it's a it's a culinary
00:54:15
term it means everything in its place everything in its place a chef would say meaning everything goes where it's supposed to be you know i love spielberg movies especially when he portrays families
00:54:25
because that's what i think a family should look like the living room like if you ever see e.t right
00:54:31
everything's disheveled yeah and there's clubs and you know i mean it just looks real right he does middle-class samaritans
00:54:36
when i look in your place it's like bougie bougie yeah your house is twice the price and twice the size of mine yeah but the inside's garbage that's right right there's like [ __ ]
00:54:48
cat [ __ ] all over the [ __ ] place yeah but yeah but yeah but you guys have fancy furniture you have expensive stuff in your home i don't have expenses my
00:54:54
couch how much was your couch well it was a gift so you got it for free no it was a gift from someone that owns a furniture company that i know how much was that i think it was like a
00:55:05
couple grand and your couch was probably 20 grand no 30 22. 22 grand yeah but for fun italy that's what they said see you are fancy i'm not fancy that's
00:55:16
what they charge right joel how much how much what like how much is your bed um my bed was like the bed the bed frame
00:55:24
no not the bed itself and you don't you don't do tempur-pedic no i do um whatever our sponsor is
00:55:29
whatever our sponsor is no no but like what's the most expensive you you buy expensive stuff i
00:55:35
the last expensive thing i bought for real genuinely my thing wasn't expensive it was hand built for the room
00:55:42
so yes it was expensive no my buddy did it i don't know let me go backwards yeah yeah i know i
00:55:49
don't know his last name castro yeah i built i i love the pottery show because like the great british bake off yeah when you lose they they
00:56:00
they're sad they cry the host of the show cries he'll look at someone's pot he'll look
00:56:06
at this the ceramic mug yeah and he'll go the composition's quite incredible and
00:56:11
look the thinnest that you've done at the base i can tell i can tell yeah you put something extra
00:56:18
in there and that's what i really appreciate about this he cries all the time it makes my heart
00:56:24
glow yeah so i love the show because i don't care about pottery really although i'm supposed to do it to my therapist but
00:56:32
they root for each other and if someone's done early like on on um chopped if you finish your cooking
00:56:38
you're not gonna [ __ ] help someone cook a meal yeah yeah when they finish on the great on the pottery show yeah they'll
00:56:43
go help someone else put them in the thing so they dry fast oh no no that that's what the british were so i'm saying well these are all
00:56:49
british people this is british too that's what british is my mate you need more cumin i've got excellent cumin cause i run off
00:56:56
have you got extra care yeah and the guy will rush her and give it to him yeah i know what cumin is thanks for the extra cumin yeah
00:57:02
it's like have i talked about the antique roll show on this show before no but i have a story yeah me too go so
00:57:08
i love it when like you know the appraiser get something that's so rare they begin to cry yeah i
00:57:15
love that oh my god i've studied i mean i went to oxford and read about the history of this ornament never saw it in the flesh i cannot believe that it is in front of me right now how much is it worth
00:57:30
14.95 no but they get like you know i mean this china mingling tao right with his
00:57:37
hands and clay right this is when he lost his hands during the [ __ ] war between the monks right with his loves
00:57:45
he coughed you know i mean the statue this cat yeah he died while carving right and his cousin eddie mm-hmm his cousin that he had to grab it from ming's hand and put you know and
00:57:58
it's like the only thing alive the only thing that's exists left from that from making that from that
00:58:03
his cousin eddie grabbed his hands and still shaped it while he was dead there was another one that's the
00:58:08
sculpture one guy was like hey man i just bought this you know mexican painting at the thrift store right
00:58:15
and the lady's like where where did where is it like where did you hang it in the in the
00:58:20
garage man yeah it's in the garage by the tool shed yeah that painting's five million dollars shut off yeah like
00:58:28
at like a who's you did you ever see the one this is the best one did you ever see the one of this man
00:58:34
right he had this blanket right he had this blanket that was like like a throw blanket like yeah that was just in growing up in his house you know what i mean just by the toilet right
00:58:46
right yeah it used to see it it's really great and when she tells him what it's worth he brings the cry
00:58:54
because dude it's so touching can i just show it to you let's look it up oh my god it is so touching it's like this navajo
00:59:00
blanket 40 to 1860 and it's called a you first phase a ute a you first phase wearing blank watch he gets emotional the old man but as navajo made they were made for you chiefs
00:59:12
and they were very very valuable at the time this is sort of this is navajo weaving in its purest form
00:59:17
all of these things that we see later with diamonds and all kinds of different patterns comes much later than this this is just
00:59:24
pure linear design this is the the beginning of navajo i'd wipe my ass with that and if that wasn't like i wouldn't [ __ ]
00:59:30
about it looks like a rug it looks like a bathroom map yeah believable unbelievable we see these we've got a
00:59:37
little bit of damage over there it's made from hand woven wool but it's so finely done it's like
00:59:42
silk it would repel water and this here is dyed with indigo dyes it was a very valuable dye at the time it's an extraordinary piece of art it's extremely rare
00:59:54
it is the most important thing that's coming to the roadshow that i've seen um we're looking at here in terms of
01:00:01
having the clue are you a wealthy man no well sir um i'm still a little nervous here i have to tell you uh on a really bad day this textile would be worth three
01:00:15
hundred and fifty thousand dollars three hundred and fifty thousand dollars yeah for a [ __ ] blanket look at him yeah he just he's going to [ __ ] die yeah
01:00:28
he's like [ __ ] cheer myself no i used to [ __ ] my cousin on this rock in the backyard you know what i mean
01:00:34
[Laughter] yeah 300 what does he say here on a good day it's about a half a million dollars oh my god you had no idea i had no idea i just
01:00:47
laying on the back of a chair well sir you have a national treasure wow and national treasure gee
01:00:55
when you walked in with this i just about died congratulations congratulations i can't
01:01:01
believe this okay enough of that two things here okay i'm pro okay good for this man
01:01:09
easy he's he can't even he's going to die before he can spend any of that money well to me i'd be like already in my mind right i'm going to
01:01:20
leave my wife you know i'm never going to talk to my kids i'm going to move i'm moving to hawaii
01:01:25
cocaine right and hookers vegas that's what he's seeing that's why he stops that's what's going through it
01:01:32
but the other side of the other part of me that's like like uh not to sound like one of these [ __ ] but
01:01:38
it's like a native american but and this old white guy has it right kit carson though right
01:01:44
his great great great grandfather or whatever new kid carson yeah i don't know keith carson i don't know who that is either
01:01:49
yeah i don't know we're not good with stuff like that but like what they're saying is is that if they could prove that it was carson's
01:01:56
blanket then it's worth like triple the the amount really yeah yeah but i just think like how does
01:02:01
this old white guy have like a chief an indian a navajo indian chief's ute blanket that seems like not nice oh you think
01:02:08
that he stole it like his ancestors his answers was obviously killed right let's trade blankets right right back in the day right he went to an indian right
01:02:20
let's trade blankets right and the indian's like oh okay right and you're like mine is way warmer than yours yeah yeah gave them the
01:02:27
blanket they all died from smallpox and this guy gets a half a million dollars bad okay
01:02:34
you know what i take it back [ __ ] that old guy yeah yeah here uh christopher uh hudson carson better
01:02:40
known as kit carson was an american frontiersman he was a fur trapper wilderness guide yeah indiana yeah
01:02:47
yeah yeah wilderness got an indian indian agent and us army officer he became a frontier legend his own life biography his new articles so clearly
01:02:54
yeah kit carson stole this or killed someone for maybe he was friends with the indian
01:02:59
because it says he was he was a native american he was an indian agent what does an indian agent mean do you
01:03:06
know what that is does that mean he well the indians back then right they loved they they wanted to do a lot of commercial
01:03:11
work oh he was an agent for the pictures no for the no audition for an agent yeah
01:03:17
for the pictures yeah yeah back then they probably didn't have tv right they didn't have tv back then when did tv get started i don't know in
01:03:24
the 50s 60s yeah 1660s 1670s okay so it says indian fighter carson was 19 when he set off with ewan young's expedition rocky mountains in addition to furs and the company sold a free spirited rugged mountain men
01:03:35
carson sought action and adventure he found what he's looking for in killing and scalping indians carson
01:03:41
probably killed and took the scalp of his first indian he was 19. yeah yeah this guy this
01:03:47
old man that we first saw yeah is the descendant of of an indian murderer yeah this is not a
01:03:54
joyful rug story yeah but what if we had a box next to him yeah he just had scalps
01:04:00
we had these two in the gay rod so this guy obviously was not a notion about indians softened over the years okay he found himself more and more in their companies he grew older you have to i think you have to well you
01:04:11
scalp enough of them you finally feel bad david roberts believes his marriage to
01:04:17
an arapahoe woman named singing grass softened the stern and pragmatic mountaineers
01:04:22
wait he married a woman named singing grass dude what i i you always think that there's wolves
01:04:28
in it right like sleepy wolf or whatever yeah which is joe biden but um or something like that right it's
01:04:34
a sleepy wolf or like you know something like that yeah but sleep what is it sling grass singing grass was his wife's
01:04:41
name it is singing grass that sounds like what rudy's name would be yeah singing no um uh uh what would it be a sharpie
01:04:50
knife yeah sharpie yeah bloody knife yeah something like that her bloody knife yeah
01:04:57
so oh my god carson had several encounters look at this a blackfoot the group of teepee with three indian corpses inside the three had died of
01:05:03
smallpox this guy yeah and i love how it says his uh as an indian agent he saw those under
01:05:09
his watch were treated with honesty and fairness so we know that's not true by the way like that's like a slave owner being like i
01:05:15
was nice to my slaves such [ __ ] the historian david roberts said his marriage to his singing grass softened the stern in pragmatic mountains so he married a [ __ ] a native
01:05:26
american woman and only then was he like that ain't so bad yeah yeah these are what we this guy clearly
01:05:33
left his family and gave it to this guy someone very important thing and now they're all dead and now he would be yelling spear yelling yelling spear yeah yelling spear
01:05:44
something like that yelling son yelling son yelling son yelling son with mine um um
01:05:51
uh sleepy panda uh you would be everybody liked it in the house yeah they did uh you well it'd have to be something with sleep you would be well okay singing grass is pretty lazy no no sleep because it has to be a
01:06:04
like um uh uh sleepy or tired or restful r restful right you you know what you're like a you're like a a tired nugget you're like
01:06:16
a nugget of a person not a good tired nugget sleepy sleepy nuggets so sleepy nugget
01:06:22
nugget uh screaming sun or yelling sun yeah yelling sun yelling sun yeah bloody night bloody knife and what's andre's um fancy bean
01:06:33
it stays the same yeah yeah there's another there's another antique road show that i have to tell you oh wait let me tell you real fast
01:06:39
i sat next to a guy on the plane we were traveling somewhere he said where are you going not at eyes i usually avoid it but he was a nice guy
01:06:44
and i said i'm a stand-up i'm actually going to wherever st louis for i said what do you do and he goes i'm
01:06:50
on antiques roadshow he's one of the presenters oh wow and i was like no [ __ ] yeah and rudely
01:06:56
and i and i felt bad afterwards but i said that that's still on and i didn't mean it like oh it's it's
01:07:02
going stronger than that i know but i didn't mean it like i just meant like where is it i've never i haven't seen it in years except on the internet
01:07:07
he's like yeah yeah it is and he was very cool we had a conversation i said what's the craziest um story that you've
01:07:14
ever seen and i think it's on youtube we can look for it a man was a world war ii veteran um and
01:07:22
uh he was a world war ii veteran and world war ii and so this uh this man right here so the g the 1960 gmt master role i've seen this one he goes he goes he said to me it was the
01:07:36
craziest thing and he was that he's he was at this he was at this man right here he kept
01:07:41
the receipts and all the boxes and stuff he was in germany yeah a friend of a friend
01:07:46
said he bought one for his dad and himself that's exactly right he's exactly right all of these that's exactly right yeah yeah and he goes um
01:07:52
his cat is the army captain said um make sure you buy make sure you buy a rolex when you're
01:07:58
there because they're going to be worth money so back then he was an army guy like that would make
01:08:04
150 a month i think it's got to be less than less than that and the watches were so expensive i
01:08:10
didn't even to me i'd be like no my uh rolex look at this guy that i bought the gmt master
01:08:15
he's got all the receipts yeah i bought it in germany in um swybrucken schweibrock in germany
01:08:22
wait dude they showed the receipt at the beginning there yeah 230 is what he paid for the rolex yeah but
01:08:27
he didn't he didn't make a lot and so to me i'm like this guy look at that look at that thing
01:08:34
still working yeah all right let me show you let me let me get to the part when they tell him the price because they go
01:08:40
through all this it's emotional oh my god it's actually probably the sweetest thing i've ever seen in my life so look at that he paid 230 for it said
01:08:47
the rolex itself was 104 uh one of them was one 104 the one that he gave his dad was 120. and then they bought a neck chain a neck chain for a dollar sixty
01:08:59
and two film two pornographic films each for a dollar ninety five that ended up being three dollars original two girls one cop yeah yeah and this was in zweibrachen
01:09:10
germany uh and none other than hitler himself sold him the watch yeah j j hitler that was his name do people
01:09:16
don't know that it wasn't eight off it was julius hitler adolf was his middle name so he tells him what he paid he tells
01:09:23
him what it's worth hold on let's get to it yeah he tells him he does this thing oh you've got all
01:09:28
the right stuff you've got all the nazi paperwork yeah uh he's like i got it and it's even he's
01:09:33
still got the stamp here maybe this is it right here dollars he just said it right five
01:09:39
thousand dollars would be worth today between 35 and 45 000. but yeah this watch is worth much more because you saved the box and all the
01:09:53
paperwork for it easily today it's 65 to 75 000 in the market probably more than a month's pay in the military right now wow i had no idea
01:10:10
so well look he's getting emotional here that's so sweet i'm speechless you would have told me 1500 i would have
01:10:17
been happy that's great there's one i want to show you but can i tell you something about this that i learned afterwards he was a molesting yes he molested me no
01:10:28
that watch was a ute navajo chief's watch and he stole it what's the other one so the other one was this lady yeah i guess her grandmother or great-grandmother right
01:10:43
had a boarding house and she boarded like the first professional baseball team but
01:10:49
they were just kids right this guy spalding you know they got the spaulding empire the the the the company that's
01:10:56
right brother like wright brothers did planes whoever they could have been baseball players would just watch it but it's like and
01:11:02
they stayed at this house so she has the original baseball cards the very first ones
01:11:08
what yeah you should see how much what what is it 18th roadshow baseball cards yeah
01:11:13
original yeah there it is it's got to be one of the top ones it's this one that one that one it's gotta be that one back in
01:11:20
1871 my great great grandmother had a boarding house in boston and she housed the boston baseball team most of them had come from cincinnati red stockings
01:11:34
and we're among the first to be paid to play baseball do you know what they were paid in those days the first
01:11:40
professional teams well i know the cincinnati reds the first night which was for a second this is
01:11:47
when when when the appraiser gets emotional too this is what's good about old white people this is the one
01:11:53
they've got so much like fun little knick-knacky tidbits you know this is fun yeah this is fun i mean this is fun i
01:11:59
mean they're terrible some of them are really bad people and they hate you no she hates you no this one no
01:12:07
this these types of white women yeah love me they ask me if i read because they don't
01:12:13
think you can no one time i was at [ __ ] i was in columbus ohio and i was at a bookstore right and that
01:12:20
and i was really depressed so i bought bought like a deepak chopra book yeah i was so depressed i was about to kill myself and i was
01:12:27
standing i was sitting on the curb and i was just opening it up right and reading and this old lady comes just like her
01:12:33
young man like a what what am i not supposed to be sitting here i always get defensive yeah you do yeah
01:12:40
you get nervous i stood up i was like i'm sorry i put the cigarette out you know what i mean you read
01:12:47
i go yeah i just you know i mean it's like oh i'm you know i'm so glad the youth are reading books because
01:12:52
that's what i was raised with reading books you know what i mean i just read you know uh sun also rise for hamming me just again again you know
01:12:59
what a great have you read that book right you've never i don't know who that is right and we just had this
01:13:04
conversation about reading because well because people don't read no but that's what i love about old white ladies like this
01:13:09
some of them they talk about yarning because if you were down in little rock it'd have been young man yeah and you're
01:13:16
going oh sorry oh i gotta yeah she goes what are you doing here fella all right what are you doing here little chinese fella but the ending of this guess what those are so hold on get well guess how much they
01:13:26
are well i want to hear what she says they got paid oh yeah yeah no the cincinnati reds the first
01:13:32
9 300 i read was the entire payroll for the baseball team at that time 9 300 for the whole the whole team for a whole year yeah that's five bucks a
01:13:42
person yeah yeah all right let's see all these cards went to your great grandfather that's
01:13:48
how that's how he got them and they got handed down to you they all look like that apparently he collected them and he
01:13:54
unfortunately cut them down his little album so whoa look at harry schafer was blind
01:14:03
that man is blind yeah god that's wild david s bernstein uh a skew and the thing that's special
01:14:11
in addition to the that's the look where he looks at immigrants in the cage [Music]
01:14:18
okay let's see how much this is worth it says it at the end usually right she gets emotional to the national and
01:14:24
american leagues so that all said you're going to keep them in the family right i want to okay i'm going to value this as an archive everything here if you're going
01:14:36
to insure it i would insure it for at least one million dollars are you serious oh my
01:14:50
holy smokes it is the greatest archive i have ever had at the roadshow really always nice yes i better put it in a bank vault
01:15:05
this is very funny and yes i am going down this path but it is always funny the old old white people have the same reaction like auntie trojan would be so better if it was a black show
01:15:17
oh it would have been like the best they would have wiped as soon as it would have been already in
01:15:24
a box in the car no just giving away the reactions would be so much better she goes she goes oh my oh my goodness
01:15:32
if it was if it was like an old black lady and they were like these are worth it she's like oh [ __ ] it would have been so much more
01:15:39
fun to watch someone like lose their [ __ ] you would see somebody flipping in the background she's doing flips she i mean it's a
01:15:46
million dollars and she goes oh my god well put in a bank vault sell it you're gonna die soon yeah that is insane prostitutes like the other guy that's
01:16:00
the first thing that that the fir honestly though let's think about it like this you move out of your of your house now okay and you don't
01:16:07
even know that when they're clearing it out there's stuff in there from the previous owners and they find something like when you're
01:16:13
oh you're redoing that when you're fixing the house which is my dream my dream is like they rip a wall and they're like hey there's painting in here
01:16:19
and you take it and they're like dude this is worth two to three million dollars oh my god what's your what's your literal first
01:16:24
thing you're doing right away bobby this is worth two million dollars this painting jules collela get out
01:16:33
no no no it would just be like um would you give them money would you right away would your first stop be like i'm gonna break no nothing
01:16:39
right okay smart no not a time they wouldn't we'd take a vacation now where anywhere they would want i would
01:16:46
say just anywhere you guys want to go let's go would you do like private what do you mean did you fly private or
01:16:52
you still do commercial oh first class but for commercial yeah right still commercial yeah yeah i have a dream of winning a lot of
01:16:57
money yeah and flying my whole family private somewhere but me being on another plane
01:17:04
yeah yeah yeah yeah like putting them on one and then putting me on well i see i used to do that i got a girl broke
01:17:10
up with me kinda because when we would fly out she would be in the couch if you put her in goat you're such a
01:17:17
dick yeah and it's the best is when you're a girlfriend you're in first class and they have to walk by i
01:17:24
know it's my favorite why would you put her in coach because i think the couple of times that did they only had one first class but a bunch of coach what about the other times what what about the other
01:17:35
times you did it no those are the only couple times i've done it oh they only had one first class eight yeah yeah i only had one like it's
01:17:42
either sit and coach with my girl and i would look at her and i was her name was christine i'd go
01:17:48
i'm just going to get the first one the one first class and she'd be like what you don't even need the extra leg room
01:17:54
i know i just i just need it why luxury yeah but you never offered it to her there was only one available correct between you and her you never offered it to her once
01:18:07
is she on stage performing i don't think she let's cut to right now yeah kalyla and
01:18:14
you you're flying to new york it's a long flight mr lee in this situation mr lee we're
01:18:19
going to refund you i'm at the desk mr lee look this we are so embarrassed but we've
01:18:25
overbooked we have one one ticket in first class the other one is in the 38th row by the bathroom and it's actually bathroom two babies and on the other
01:18:37
side is broken seat and that's the jumper seat for the flight attendant so those two seats what would you like
01:18:43
us to do is the only flight we got to new york this is it so well what i would immediately do is
01:18:50
going into a go into a false routine okay in terms of like out faint sickness right mr lee we've
01:18:58
seen this before we need you to know it's just kalila oh i don't feel good she was like what do you mean i don't know i think i need my my my medication oh let's get your meds yeah yeah where is it oh yeah i still
01:19:11
yeah you know you could take it sweetie oh you'd say that yeah to her but i would also faint right you know what i mean so
01:19:17
you'd put it on yeah i would put on like oh i feel dizzy and she's like no no you go ahead yay and then do you say yeah yeah okay
01:19:25
like right away no are you sure none of that no no really i would offer her to her first
01:19:31
yeah right and then you know what i mean faint sickness of some sort and then when she gave it back to me i
01:19:37
would take it right away bobby what would you do if me and the old lady were flying somewhere yeah
01:19:43
and they had two i would let her sit in the first class and that's what i offered it no i would offer it but you knew you
01:19:49
were playing the game to get out of it right you have to you know you have to fight for your right okay you have to fight for your right to take first class no you have to do it in a chivalrous way
01:20:01
right because i'm chill furious i'm a man you are chevrolet yeah yeah and um so i would have to put up that
01:20:06
front sure right but i always also have to you know i mean play the card i had to play my card too
01:20:14
play in my hand right right because you're like i'm a performer i need the rest you're doing that thing even if we're going on a regular
01:20:19
vacation but just to go rest more yeah yeah yeah so it would because there's no harm in that i agree right but i'm giving you the option maybe she doesn't even care
01:20:30
some people don't care she cares yeah do your feet touch the ground when you're all the way back in a seat
01:20:37
i just i see your feet like swinging like a little kid on a toilet have you ever flown private be real no
01:20:42
but whenever you know who else has it who me yeah i refuse to do it no if somebody else offers it to me i would do it no i don't no because buddy holly what happened he
01:20:54
died he died yeah yeah buddy holly and richie valens died and hopper who else who else died private in a
01:21:01
private plane jfk no that's junior yes that one did yeah yeah the other one got his head fell off well half of it was there everything
01:21:12
about that we i talked about this the other day for some reason she's scooping his head back into it i mean i i
01:21:18
what would you that to me once that happened as someone who plays warhorn warzone
01:21:24
yeah did you ever watch the footage and be like that's a good shot kill shot head shot yeah yeah that's insanely
01:21:31
funny insane that's crazy i mean there was two shooters yeah yeah yeah but i just imagine scooping your
01:21:37
hut your loved one's head yeah like imagine scooping kalila's head back into her brain right and then after that it's like
01:21:44
that's it that's that's it life is completely dark i mean how could you be anything
01:21:50
else i mean i i don't know if you see the are you laughing no yeah you're while you're like oh my god it's
01:21:55
dark she doesn't even know do you know who jfk was um the president he wasn't he was the archaeologist he
01:22:02
was the famous famous american archer do you know we're talking about he got shot you know that right he got his head got
01:22:08
shot and killed and yeah can i see the video oh my goodness one are you being [ __ ] prettier yeah i'm curious
01:22:14
do you know what you want to shoot you know it's probably not on youtube do you know what you need to show her is this a pruder film yeah you know what that is do you know
01:22:20
do you know do you know about any of this stuff there's conspiracy that jfk was um
01:22:26
there was there was two people two separate gunshots here's the zupruder film there you got
01:22:31
to watch the whole thing i can't really scan through the whole thing yeah i know well this is look this is a this is a kind of an example of uh
01:22:37
look at the bullet goes through down and away down and away you need to really watch
01:22:42
uh this this is the shot look at how beautiful that shot was yeah that he his head got shot
01:22:48
in that car in that car right there next to his wife it happened in houston dallas right in dallas why do i want i i thought
01:22:56
dallas then you said houston and i thought i was wrong yeah i think dallas dallas was dallas right fancy yeah yeah
01:23:03
and um to satish it was so exciting right there they're having a great time yeah maybe three minutes after that it
01:23:09
was the worst time you ever think about what's the last thing he said right before he got shot yeah it's hot it it's hot out here yeah
01:23:17
it's hot out here oh that's how long is these italian suits you know what if he said something racist right
01:23:22
before he got shot yeah he's like these guinea wops can't make a suit for [ __ ] right wow let's see you need to watch
01:23:30
that you need to you need to do research about that you'll find out some crazy stuff and you'll be getting a conspiracy depth
01:23:35
very dark i want to end this on a happy note i'm serious yeah i love that we can talk and laugh
01:23:42
and then apologize for our mistakes and it means a lot to me yeah i'm sorry i hate you with this it still
01:23:48
hurts bob i i said i'm sorry i'm i'm just being genuinely i love you and i love you too
01:23:53
and i'm sorry but look at me i'm sorry you're welcome no no you don't say you're welcome
01:24:00
you just say i hear it you can say thank you thanks thank you you mean a lot to me hey hey shut up turn the music down look
01:24:12
at me real fast i love you i love you too okay okay thank you for being a bad [Music] friend
01:24:33
[Music] bye