00:00:00
You two are bad friends. >> Who are these two idiots? >> A white dude and an Asian dude. You two
00:00:07
are disgusting. >> Well, you two are something. >> We're bad friends.
00:00:12
>> Yeah. What's up? >> What's up? >> Yeah. Your energy today, dude. I don't
00:00:14
know, dude. >> What's wrong with my energy today? >> It's not mindful. It's not grace.
00:00:18
There's no grace in it. >> All right. >> Yeah. Yeah. It's aggressive.
00:00:21
>> You come with your hat down. You know what I mean, >> dude? I'm not Taylor Swift. You have to
00:00:26
act like that. [laughter] You know what I mean, guys? What's up? West side. Englewood,
00:00:32
huh? Shy town. You're That's where you're from? >> You've never been to Englewood once.
00:00:36
>> Genuinely. >> I know where it is, though. >> Where? >> It's south from here.
00:00:42
>> Is it not? >> Yeah. >> It's by Watts, dog. >> I've been to the Watts Tower uh Watts
00:00:46
Towers. >> No, you haven't. >> Yeah, that's where I get my water.
00:00:49
[laughter] >> Have you ever Watts water, dude? >> Mm- >> Yeah, dude.
00:00:53
>> Is it good? >> Yeah, it's filled with all kinds of juicy things.
00:00:56
>> Oh, I love this is a big thing. the Watts Towers. This was, you know, this
00:01:01
was built by >> these were actually um people thought they were an art piece, but it turns out
00:01:07
>> I thought I thought there was water in it. >> That's what I thought. Did you think?
00:01:11
>> No, no, no. I knew that you thought that. >> You thought it was a water tower.
00:01:14
>> Yeah, I thought it was a water tower. Tower. I've never really seep into the
00:01:16
watch tower. I was lying. >> This man collected >> What is that? >> Loose pieces of the Cuz the train runs
00:01:23
behind it, right? Isn't it from He took parts from the train >> and then I think the [snorts] rumor was
00:01:30
it was it was art, but it turns out it's actually the meetup point for Epstein
00:01:36
people. [clears throat] >> Uh core steel rebar and wire mesh covered with cement mortar decorated
00:01:42
mosaic of recycled found materials. >> It's one of those conspiracy blacks. You
00:01:46
know that movie with Julia Roberts? Was that the movie? >> Oh, the Pelican Brief.
00:01:51
>> No, no, not that one. Not that one. where Denzel plays like the Conspiracy
00:01:54
Black. Is that him? Dave, did he ever play Conspira Conspiracy Black? >> What is Conspiracy Black?
00:01:59
>> You know what I mean? You know what I mean? >> Exactly what you think it is.
00:02:01
>> Exactly what you think it is. >> I don't know. I don't think
00:02:04
>> Yeah. You go inside their house. Everything's tin foil. >> You know what I mean?
00:02:07
>> That's just normal for That's conspiracy. >> Yeah, but he happens to be black.
00:02:11
>> Oh, >> yeah. Yeah. There's conspiracy whites, too. >> I got it.
00:02:14
>> Yeah. Yeah. >> I think there's majority are conspiracy whites. I feel like more conspiratorial.
00:02:18
>> You can find that movie. I think it's called Conspiracy Theory. You know why
00:02:21
Bobb's in a good mood? Do you want to tell everybody or should I tell everybody?
00:02:25
>> Nothing. >> Come on. >> What? >> I'll say it. Bobby has been or has gone
00:02:32
on a few >> No, no, no. That's not it. >> A few dates. >> That's not it.
00:02:36
>> With Erica Kirk. [laughter] >> She's grieving. And, you know, to me, I'm so empathetic,
00:02:42
right, that I need to hold her. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. I'm grieving. Dave with her.
00:02:45
>> Have you seen some of those like videos with her in her eyes and stuff? It's
00:02:49
wild, dude. That's not what I'm talking about. >> Man, you're in Canada. Another banger.
00:02:54
Yeah, Siege. There's only so many movies where conspiracies come up and Denzel's
00:02:58
in them. Really? >> Did I tell you he's That's like every movie he's ever done.
00:03:01
>> Yeah. >> Did I tell you that we tried to watch Benjamin Button? >> Well, you would try You have to watch it
00:03:07
backwards. It's better that way. [laughter] >> We tried. It's normal that way. You know
00:03:11
what I mean? >> It's so [ __ ] bad. Like, watch it again in this era. It's I remember back
00:03:16
then we were like, "Oh, it's wild. It's groundbreaking." Because when I saw it,
00:03:20
I I was I was in the theater. I was like, "Oh my god, we're in the future,
00:03:24
>> dude. It's [laughter] >> remember. I can't believe it. >> It's so bad." I mean, look at the
00:03:29
>> Fincher. >> Yeah, but look at It's so [laughter] bad. >> It's so weird. It looks like he's
00:03:34
wearing a Donald Rumsfeld mask. >> Oh, yeah. >> It doesn't look real.
00:03:39
>> It doesn't look real. >> It dude, it's so weird. We tried. Look
00:03:41
at that. >> Look at that. >> We watched this. This movie won an Academy Award.
00:03:45
>> Wait, wait. You saw it with whom? >> We watched at the house. It was just on
00:03:48
and I think it was on like HBO or whatever. You know when they're like you and I was like we haven't I I don't this
00:03:54
movie was so long ago. I was like I haven't seen that. I'm going to watch it
00:03:57
again. Yeah, >> dude. 20 minutes. I was like I got to get out of here. It was trip. Look at
00:04:01
that. It was tripping me out. >> That's insane. >> How am I supposed to come with that
00:04:05
going on? [laughter] >> It's insane. >> He turned into Mitch McConnell.
00:04:11
[laughter] >> It's little Rudy. >> Here's another one. Meet Joe Black.
00:04:14
>> Oh, dude. >> Do you like that one? >> I used to. >> Yeah. Yeah. Watch.
00:04:17
>> You know what? If I rewatch that again, it's like you're He's an angel, right?
00:04:21
>> Yeah. >> You like peanut butter? >> Yeah. What is that? >> What is that?
00:04:24
>> What are we talking about? >> It's a little quirk. You know what I
00:04:26
mean? I just >> Yeah. How about almond butter? Why not? Why peanut butter?
00:04:29
>> Why peanut butter? >> He's so hot though. >> Yeah. He's still Have you seen him now?
00:04:33
>> He's even hotter. >> He's hotter now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Cuz I saw like some new girl he's
00:04:38
dating. They had a picture of them together on >> on the internet and I was like, "God, it
00:04:42
never breaks, huh?" >> Yeah. Look at him. He was born that way. >> That guy is built. He is built
00:04:47
different. >> Built for speed. [laughter] >> Yeah. Oh my god. >> Vroom vroom
00:04:51
>> vroom vroom. Look at that, dude. >> I would just literally It's like a
00:04:54
[ __ ] futon. Yeah, man. I would lay on him like a futon. >> Yeah. [laughter]
00:04:58
>> Wouldn't you? No. Pete, really, Pete? I know you're not gay, but
00:05:01
>> Absolutely. >> Yeah. Right. Would you? >> We don't know.
00:05:03
>> Yeah. Yeah. If you walked in your house, Brad Pitt happened to be naked laying on
00:05:07
your couch, you would lay right on top of him. That's your instinct. >> I'd get naked immediately.
00:05:12
>> Immediately. And I'd go, "Let's compare bodies. [laughter]
00:05:15
Stand up, Bradley. >> I think at one point I'll be like, "What are you doing in the house?
00:05:18
>> What are you doing in my house?" >> After But that you say that after you're
00:05:22
Yeah. After you have sex with Brad Pig, you're smoking a cigarette in bed and
00:05:24
you're like, "How'd you get in my house?" [laughter] >> Exactly. You don't ask before. Never.
00:05:29
No. You just do. >> You just have to let it be. >> Yeah. >> That was from F1. Did you watch F1?
00:05:34
>> No. But do you think he knows he's hot? >> Yes. >> Brother, do you know you're Asian?
00:05:40
>> [ __ ] I do. >> Yeah. Well, IT'S THE SAME THING. >> OH, [ __ ] IT'S THE SAME THING. HE KNOWS
00:05:43
IT. >> Here's what it is. Yeah. Yeah. >> I forget sometimes I have red hair.
00:05:49
[laughter] >> It's the reddest hair I've ever seen. >> But I have red hair.
00:05:55
>> I know. It's so mutantike. >> So like he must forget sometimes he's
00:05:59
hot, but then look in the mirror and go, >> I'm hot. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:06:03
>> I'm so >> Every morning you must look in the mirror and go, I have red hair.
00:06:07
>> No. I get out of the shower, I see my little red penis and my red pubes and I
00:06:11
go, I have red hair. Like it makes me laugh. I have little I have red hair. >> Dude, do you The shock and awe of me
00:06:17
being Korean all the time. [laughter] >> It's It's shock and awe. >> I look in the mirror, I go, "Holy [ __ ]
00:06:24
I am Asian." [laughter] >> It's like It's startling because you're
00:06:28
in I'm in a white world. >> Yeah. >> I'm around a lot of white people, right?
00:06:32
And then every night I look in the mirror, I go, "Look at that." [laughter]
00:06:35
>> But it's >> Look what's going on there. >> No, it's positive.
00:06:37
>> It's not. It's pure negative. Koreans are the best >> because I'm not like, you know what I
00:06:41
mean, like leading man Korean. Those are hot, right? >> You're next door neighbor.
00:06:47
>> I'm next door neighbor. I'm the guy that you don't trust in the movie. You know
00:06:50
what I mean? >> Actually, I think you're the guy that turns out to be. You know who you are?
00:06:54
>> Yeah. >> But the I don't What's the character's name in Home Alone that they think he's
00:06:58
evil? The guy with the shovel, the old man, but he turns out to be the best. >> Marley.
00:07:02
>> Marley. You're that because people are like, I'm weary of that little Korean
00:07:06
guy. But guess what? Yeah, >> guys have got a great heart, great soul. Turns out to be a great guy.
00:07:11
>> All right, I want you to Google this. All right. >> Half naked guy in Kung Fu Hustle. I'm
00:07:16
that kid. [laughter] >> What? >> What? >> In Kung Fu Hustle. Yeah. One of my
00:07:21
favorite movies. >> That's a bad >> Yeah. Yeah. No. No. But that's who he is
00:07:24
in the movie. You know what I mean? >> Every time I watch that movie, I go, I
00:07:27
think I'm that guy. >> It sucks. >> Oh, yeah. That's 100% it. Yeah. Getting
00:07:33
cracked around. >> Getting cracked around. Yeah, that's me. Yeah. [laughter]
00:07:37
But you know, somebody has to be that. >> That's right. >> When I look in the mirror, go, "Somebody
00:07:41
has to be whatever that." >> Someone has to be us. And why not [snorts] us?
00:07:45
>> Or have you? When I look in the mirror naked, when I see my naked body, oh my
00:07:48
god, it's pure shock and awe. >> The dog walked in on me taking a shower.
00:07:53
I stepped in the shower and I heard her coming up behind me, heard her, you know, chain.
00:07:57
>> Yeah. >> And I go, "Oh, hey." >> She then looked up, saw me naked, and
00:08:00
went [snorts] >> and walked out. >> Yeah. >> Not happy about it.
00:08:03
>> Wow. >> Well, I gained a little bit of weight. You have gotten a little a
00:08:07
>> little porky. I'm 206 right now. >> I kind of like it. >> 206
00:08:10
>> cuz it thickens out like you're a football player almost. >> I'm getting a little footbally.
00:08:14
>> Yeah. Yeah. >> Straight up. >> Yeah. >> I >> I walked out just one I know you're
00:08:17
going to say something. I'm so sorry. Straight up is good. >> I have nothing else to say.
00:08:20
>> Yeah. Straight up. >> Straight up. >> Yeah. What is that? >> Hut hut. [laughter]
00:08:25
>> You think they yell straight up? >> That's what you just said.
00:08:28
>> Travis Scott, >> didn't I say hut hut? >> You did. >> Oh, you [laughter] did? I thought
00:08:33
>> Yeah. I thought they said straight up. >> Straight up. >> Yeah. Yeah.
00:08:36
>> Straight up. >> Aren't Isn't it a move that they're saying out loud?
00:08:39
>> No. >> Yeah. Go to the right. [laughter] >> Right. Go around me.
00:08:45
>> Yeah. >> They don't Is that a move? >> They're not telling the other guys are
00:08:49
right there. >> I know. But it's like him because he's the captain, right?
00:08:53
>> Yeah. >> He's the leader. The quarterback's the leader, right?
00:08:55
>> Is the captain, >> right? So, isn't he going, you know what I mean? Natron, go to the right.
00:08:59
>> No, he doesn't yell out the plays. Oh, he doesn't. >> Well, then they would know. They're
00:09:02
right there. >> No, but it's their own code word. >> Well, they do have codes. You are you're
00:09:06
halfway. >> Pelican Town 260. >> That's [laughter] a good That's a play.
00:09:09
>> Yeah. >> Pelican Town 260 is a play. >> Downtown Magoo. Turn around.
00:09:13
>> Turn around. >> And then they're like, "Oh, I got to turn around. I'm going to do downtown
00:09:17
Magoo. [laughter] >> Don't Isn't that what they do?" >> Yeah.
00:09:20
>> Okay. I don't know football. I don't watch that sport. But anyway, um,
00:09:23
>> you know football. >> I know the real football. Yeah. Yeah. And Arsenal won today 4-1. That's why
00:09:27
I'm in a good mood. [applause] You beat Aston Villa and there were three punts below us. If they had won
00:09:32
that game, they would have tied us for number one. >> Nice try, Aston Villa.
00:09:36
>> Nice try, Ollie Watkins. Anyway, um >> Aston Villa, by the way, is that a name
00:09:40
of a city? >> No, but it's the same of a football club. It's one of the oldest football.
00:09:44
>> Terrible name. >> Yeah, >> Aston Villa. >> Yeah, >> that's a symbol.
00:09:48
>> How British does that [ __ ] [ __ ] sound? >> Aston Villa. >> I play for Aston Villa.
00:09:52
>> Yeah. >> How about you? What' you get for Christmas? >> Nothing. I'll tell you this. I'm going
00:09:57
to say that what I was going to say before because of the dog thing and then I'll go to the Christmas.
00:10:01
>> I'm a little wired up. Sorry. >> I like it. >> Okay. So, um
00:10:04
>> I love it. >> Well, there's three things happening. >> Go.
00:10:06
>> I want just say all the things that are happening. Give it. >> Okay.
00:10:09
>> Um number one, I I I walked out a movie last night and and it's like
00:10:15
it's Park Chan Wuk, the guy that did Old Boy. I think he produced this movie,
00:10:19
Korean movie. >> It's called um I had Google I [ __ ] >> Wait, but you w you went to the theater
00:10:24
to see it. >> I was I went to the Grove. You know how busy the grove is right now, dude. No
00:10:27
other choice is what >> No other choice. Turns out you had a few and one of them was to leave. [laughter]
00:10:33
>> And it's it got What is the um rotten tomatoes on it? >> I never trust tomatoes.
00:10:38
>> 99%. >> I don't trust it. >> I think 99%. [snorts] >> I just don't trust that it's too 98.
00:10:45
That's way too high. >> Yeah. So, and it's the guy from Squid Games. Great actor.
00:10:51
Beautifully shot. Beautifully shot. Right. Um, it's a dark comedy. The comedy really works. They're just so
00:10:58
talented, right? Koreans ain't how to do it. >> Mhm. >> But there's one moment. So, I'm going to
00:11:03
just tell you, I'm not going to give any spoilers. Okay. >> No, we're never going to see this. It
00:11:07
doesn't matter. [laughter] >> Really? >> Well, I mean, maybe. >> All right. So,
00:11:11
>> that moment, >> this guy, right, the guy on the right, right, happily married, two kids.
00:11:16
>> He's a paper man. >> He work he works for a paper processing plant and he's been there for 25 years.
00:11:22
Makes a good living. and he gets fired. Okay. From his job >> for stealing paper.
00:11:28
>> No. [snorts] >> For, >> you know, the Americans bought the company and they're doing some
00:11:33
readjustments like that. Yeah. So, anyway, um there's a point where it's
00:11:36
like he won't get a job, right? So, he they're running out of money, right? So,
00:11:42
the first thing they do is they get rid of their dogs. >> What? >> Yeah. They had two dogs. They're like,
00:11:48
"We can't feed this whole family." How hard is it to feed a [ __ ] dog?
00:11:52
>> Yeah. That's the weird. >> It's It As soon as that happened in the
00:11:55
movie, I'M LIKE, I'M OUT. >> I'M OUT. >> I AM OUT. >> I'M OUT.
00:11:58
>> I WALKED OUT. >> You got rid of the dogs? >> Yeah. Yeah. You And the kids are crying.
00:12:04
Look. Yeah. It's It was >> I got rid of the kids. >> I'd rather give one of the kids.
00:12:08
>> They're so much more expensive. >> They're way more expensive. Yeah. How
00:12:11
far How expensive is dog food? >> I mean, dude, you can get You can get like a 50 lb bag from Costco for like 10
00:12:17
bucks. >> I know. Exactly. I mean, they're not going to be the healthiest food for the
00:12:21
dog. Keep it alive. >> It'll be dude. Dogs live on the street. Street dogs.
00:12:25
>> Whenever something like that happens in a movie where I'm like, I wouldn't do
00:12:28
that. I have to leave. >> I I you know, I saw a [ __ ] thread today. Was it yesterday morning or this
00:12:34
morning? That pissed me off. Someone was like, I don't care. I'll say, you know,
00:12:38
like hot takes, you know, this [ __ ] >> I hate hot. >> And they were like, hot take? I don't
00:12:42
[ __ ] care. Uh, if you're a dog person, you are stupid. Just accept it. And I was like, what does that even
00:12:49
mean? person. >> And when I say, "What does that even mean?" It's cuz I'm stupid and I don't
00:12:53
get it. >> Yeah. [laughter] >> Cuz I'm a dog person. Yeah. >> I I don't trust people that don't like
00:12:57
dogs. Weirds me the [ __ ] out. >> I I don't trust a president that doesn't
00:13:02
have a dog. >> He's the only one. >> I know. It's crazy in history. Yeah.
00:13:06
Have a cat. I don't A gerbal. >> Actually, if he had a honey badger, I
00:13:10
don't care what it is. >> Honey badger would be sick. >> That'd be sick.
00:13:12
>> I got my little badger here. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And he's gnawing on
00:13:15
Steven uh Miller's ankle. [laughter] All of that. He was like, "Oh, yeah.
00:13:20
Yeah, >> Donald, come get your honey badger. [laughter] [ __ ] I have to go to
00:13:25
school and bring my honey badger." >> Yeah, you have. Yeah. I >> I don't get it. You got to have some
00:13:30
kind of animal. >> Yeah. Here's another Tik Tok video that I can't watch. When did they start of a
00:13:34
I don't know who needs to hear this. Nobody. Nobody needs to hear what YOU'RE
00:13:38
SAYING CUZ YOU DON'T KNOW [ __ ] >> YOU DON'T KNOW [ __ ] >> WE DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR OPINION.
00:13:42
[laughter] YOU'RE A REGULAR GUY. >> You're a regular guy. >> You know what I mean? It's like
00:13:48
>> you're a regular guy. >> Yeah. Degrassi. What? The scientist guy.
00:13:53
>> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> What are we talking? Oh, Neil. >> Neil. Yeah. Yeah.
00:13:56
>> I thought about the TV show. >> No. If [laughter] Well, whatever.
00:13:59
>> Neil Degrass Tyson. >> Yeah. Yeah. Need grass. Tyson. You know what I mean? If he says I don't need I
00:14:04
don't Then I'll go, oh, I think I'm going to I I want to hear his opinion
00:14:07
about this. >> Yeah. >> Or anyone professional like Scott Galloway. >> Nah, let me pause on Scott Galloway.
00:14:13
>> No, don't pause on him. Push play. He says some [ __ ] that I'm like,
00:14:16
>> I know. I love it. >> The [ __ ] are you talking? >> I'm reading his book right now.
00:14:19
>> He does this whole skip about like, you know, people are drinking less than
00:14:23
they've ever drank and they're having less sex and men aren't talking to women
00:14:26
and all this [ __ ] [ __ ] It's like I don't Is that true? How do we know
00:14:30
that's true? >> It's called statistics, my friend. >> Who's filling out those forms? What the
00:14:34
[ __ ] do you mean? >> In the Midwest, they do it >> where they pull people on the street and
00:14:37
they go, "Who's [ __ ] >> Yeah. >> I don't buy it."
00:14:40
>> They don't do it in Studio City cuz I've been around. You know, they don't
00:14:42
>> Here's why I don't buy it. We're friends with a young man here. What's your name
00:14:46
again? >> Mone. >> Mone. >> Yeah. >> This guy, he's in the height of his 20s.
00:14:52
He's in the in the center of it. >> He's not a normal. >> He's [ __ ]
00:14:56
>> I know, but he's he's not an average white dude. This >> He is the most average looking white
00:15:02
dude I'VE EVER SEEN. [laughter] >> NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. You don't get about
00:15:04
this McCone guy, right? He's a shifter. >> He's He's He's got the gift of gab. You
00:15:10
know what I mean? He's slimy. >> He's got Hollywood quality. What is and
00:15:13
then what's >> to have him when I first met him to just directly walk up to me and talk business
00:15:19
>> is insane behavior. And I'm like, "Oh, a little mover and shaker, this little
00:15:25
one. Slimy mover shaker." >> And then he gets into here, moves up. He's a [ __ ] climber.
00:15:29
>> You want to fire him? >> No, I love him. Okay. >> He's like a pesty little brother.
00:15:34
>> Yeah. Yeah. So, he stays. But what I'm saying is I'm on to you. But he's not a
00:15:38
normal, you know, I mean, a average 20some year old man. >> All his friends are [ __ ]
00:15:44
>> Yeah, cuz they're not. Have you met them? >> Yeah. >> Yeah.
00:15:46
>> Half of them are. >> But the ones that he has in Minnesota, those ones, they're not [ __ ]
00:15:51
>> Yes, they are. >> No, I met them. >> What do you mean? >> They don't even talk. [laughter] They're
00:15:55
come to like a catatonic. They're like totem poles. Whenever you introduce me to them, they're like,
00:16:02
>> "Well, they all they they're big fans of you, by >> They're not big fans, dude. a good smile
00:16:06
then. >> Do you ever Do you ever tell someone to meet you at a nice spot and you never
00:16:10
show up? >> No. >> You've never done that? >> No. >> That's like a move that people do where
00:16:14
they bail on a date? >> Yeah. [snorts] I can't do that. I don't I've never ghosted anybody on a date.
00:16:19
>> Have you been ghosted though? >> Oh, yeah. >> Yeah. See, that's why it burns.
00:16:22
>> It hurts, huh? >> Yeah. >> But you still remember the person. I bet
00:16:25
you it sits in your memory bank. >> You know who did it. >> It seeps deep in my soul.
00:16:29
>> You know who did it. Yeah. That's why they do it. I think >> you know that. You know somebody that
00:16:33
did to me. >> Do I? I know who it is. Do you? >> No. I'm asking you. Do I know who they
00:16:37
are? >> Yeah. >> No. What the [ __ ] Who's on first? >> Who's on second? [laughter]
00:16:41
>> I don't know, dude. >> Straight up. Straight up. >> Straight up.
00:16:47
>> Wait. Wait. Who did it to you? >> Ble room back dash. >> Got it. [laughter]
00:16:54
>> There will be a college football team that uses Bickloom back dash. >> Yeah. Ble room back dash. You know what
00:17:00
I mean? >> BLE ROOM BACK DASH >> UP THE STRAIGHT >> STRAIGHT UP. AND then the wide receiver
00:17:05
knows what to do. >> He does. >> And he does a little bickle room like
00:17:07
move. >> If you're a college football player of any kind, please use a bad friend's uh
00:17:12
call at the line. >> Yeah. >> And let us know. >> Ble room back dash.
00:17:16
>> Well, what are you doing? How to properly yell as a quarterback. >> Yeah. There's like a specific
00:17:21
>> blue 42. >> I got one. I would do this. I would close this one and open this one.
00:17:26
[laughter] >> Sing along. >> Yeah. Yeah. That's a good one. Give me
00:17:30
one. >> Air lick. But don't do this. Don't be hacky about it. Come up with your own.
00:17:35
>> Imagine if you saw a quarterback at the line and he went 449. [laughter]
00:17:41
>> And I would know what that is. Slither. >> Slither. Slither. >> Slither around the defensive linebacker.
00:17:46
>> That's a slither play. >> Yeah. Yeah. That is >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:17:48
>> That is my >> Oh, it's a hook route. >> Yeah. It's a hook route. Hook
00:17:53
>> on both sides, though. >> Yeah. Double hook. >> One hook round. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Single
00:17:57
hook. >> Yeah. Single hook is one side. You know what I mean? [laughter] >> That'd be fun to come up with. should
00:18:01
coach a team, >> dude. That'd be great. >> Let us coach your local team.
00:18:04
>> We should just co We should coach like a inner mural team. We should have a bad
00:18:08
friend's inner mural team. >> And the thing would be what some of my coaching would be direct like that. It's
00:18:14
exactly what it means. >> Direct. [laughter] >> Yeah. Yeah. Headbutt the guy twice.
00:18:19
>> It's exactly what that means. There's no hidden agenda, right? I just headbutt.
00:18:23
You know what I mean? [laughter] Looks like you got water in your ear. Oh, there it is. Finger flick. Yeah. Yeah.
00:18:28
Right in the face. >> Arm finger. Yeah. Flick in the face. [laughter] >> Right. And then some of them would be
00:18:33
like, you know what I mean? Not obvious. >> A little bit more secretive. >> Yeah.
00:18:39
[laughter] >> What is that? >> What? >> What was that? >> Click of the nose and focus.
00:18:43
>> Oh, focus. [laughter] >> Hey, boogerhead. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's what that
00:18:47
is. >> I get that. >> Yeah. Yeah. I think we should do it. >> I'll do it.
00:18:50
>> Yeah. Yeah. >> I would love to. We'll draw up some plays. >> Yeah. Now, with your knowledge of
00:18:53
football, >> is there plays in baseball? >> Uh, yeah. I mean, that's a hard It's not
00:18:58
the same. >> It's harder. Well, there's there's there's signals from coaches this, you
00:19:02
know, like you know, signals. They do that the third base. >> Yeah. But what does that all mean?
00:19:05
>> Well, they're signaling to the runner uh the next move what the what the batter's
00:19:11
going to do. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> To swing swing away or to take the pitch
00:19:15
or or to try to steal the base or there's Look, well, there's a bunch of
00:19:19
different signals there, but they all have different uh signs. Signs. >> Yeah. Yeah.
00:19:24
>> Pitch These are pitch call signs. >> Wow. That's amazing. >> They don't do the same. They use an
00:19:28
older hand. >> Is that my hand? [laughter] >> That's my hand. I'm not kidding. That's
00:19:33
my hand. >> That's the oldest hand I've ever seen. Um >> I have an old hand.
00:19:36
>> So this is something. Upside down piece. >> Yeah. >> This twice. Yeah. They got to get more
00:19:42
creative, dude. >> Oh, they only have your hand. You have one hand. >> I know. But you could still, you know.
00:19:46
[laughter] What about this move? >> No, cuz this one has a mitt. One has a
00:19:49
mitt on it. >> Oh, it's a mit, right? >> Catcher has one mitt on it,
00:19:52
>> right? And then do they do this? >> Yeah. >> Meaning catch it.
00:19:56
>> Catch it. [laughter] pitcher does that. Catch the ball, dude. You know what I mean?
00:20:01
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>> Would you be a pitcher or a catcher? >> Oh, I'd be a catcher.
00:22:17
>> Yeah, I know. >> I catch. Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. I don't pitch.
00:22:19
>> I'm a pitcher. >> Yeah, I know you are, D. And I like catching your balls. [laughter]
00:22:24
>> It's my favorite thing to do. >> Yeah. What if somebody has like
00:22:28
Tourette's all of a sudden? Not Tourette's, but like goes into a seizure. That'd be fun.
00:22:31
>> That'd be terrible. [laughter] Yeah. But he's going right. And you know
00:22:34
what I mean? And the He's like, I don't know what to do. You know what I mean?
00:22:37
[laughter] >> What? The batter. >> The batter. They see the coach. You know
00:22:41
what I mean? And the looking at like, I don't know what move that is, but I'll
00:22:46
try. >> Swing away. >> Yeah. took away. [laughter] >> What do you think?
00:22:51
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> That's got to That's That feels like
00:22:53
that's in a movie. [laughter] >> I feel like that's Daniel Stern Little
00:22:57
Big League or whatever. >> Yeah. >> I I feel like [laughter] gang members
00:23:01
could probably do it. Well, >> hey, Steel 30. >> Throw up some [ __ ]
00:23:07
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, dude. You know what I mean? Do this, right? >> Well, you know, they have gangs. They
00:23:12
have g uh not gangs, but I mean like in prisons, they have like inter mural leagues in prison. M
00:23:18
>> and longest [snorts] yard, man. >> Yeah. >> All gang sides. Whoa.
00:23:22
>> Well, let's not throw any of these up. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Wait, let me see.
00:23:25
>> Compton [ __ ] >> This one I can do. I like >> I don't think we should do these.
00:23:29
>> Why? >> On the air. >> Yeah. >> It's probably a bad idea.
00:23:32
>> Yeah, but this means different than whatever that means. This means antlers.
00:23:37
>> Sure. [laughter] >> Deer gang >> or hunters. >> Get the antlers, dude. You know what I
00:23:42
mean? Yeah. >> What do you Yeah. >> Japanese girl gang. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I mean?
00:23:49
>> I like I'm not going to lie, the hand signals for gangs are incredible. You
00:23:53
see them throw them up, you love them. Oh, geek gang. What is that? >> Yeah.
00:23:56
>> Geek gang signs. >> Now, how could you take Okey dokie and turn into a gang sign? That sucks.
00:24:01
>> Like, cuz if you're like seeing a guy, you go, "Hey, hey, Bobby, I'm going to
00:24:05
go to the gym, right?" And I go, "Okay." [laughter] That's what I'm saying.
00:24:10
That's unfair. >> Yeah. It's not. You can't steal. They stole it.
00:24:12
>> You can't do okie doie anymore because it's a gain. Well, >> yeah. Yeah.
00:24:17
>> You know. >> Okay. I know. [laughter] I know. I get it. I understand.
00:24:25
>> I understand it. >> A lot of things have been taken over. >> Yeah, that's true.
00:24:30
>> A lot of things have been taken. They're just, you know, >> like the swastika.
00:24:33
>> That was ours. >> No, that was um Indonesian, right? It was like Buddhist almost.
00:24:38
>> Well, it means peace. >> It means peace, right? >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:24:40
>> You know what's so crazy? The marketing is great >> on the swastika. I mean, because to take
00:24:46
to take peace and turn it into a a symbol of hate, >> it's like taking the peace sign now and
00:24:51
turning into hate. >> Well, it's almost poetic. >> You're taking something that means peace
00:24:55
and turn it into absolute hate, which is kind of odd. How >> good marketing, that's all.
00:24:59
>> Phenomenal. Good team over there in Germany. [laughter] >> So, check it out. We're branding. We're
00:25:05
going to rebrand the peace symbol. [laughter] >> Hitler, I love it. >> Yeah. Yeah.
00:25:12
>> Now, give me some [ __ ] math. [laughter] Yeah, they did a lot of math.
00:25:15
>> He loved math. A lot of them did. >> What would If you had terminal cancer
00:25:20
and you're on your way out, would you do would you ride the horse? Would you do
00:25:23
heroin? >> I mean, I would do what the doctor prescribed, but much more. >> Mhm.
00:25:29
>> Um, you wouldn't go street drugs? >> I might. I don't know, dude. I might
00:25:34
want to face it head-on. Clear >> death. >> Yeah. What's so funny?
00:25:39
>> Carlos does not want to face it. >> Like Rahm Doss says, >> I don't want to face traffic. Oh, that's
00:25:43
true. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> But don't you want to be in the present
00:25:47
moment of death? >> No. >> I don't know. Well, I definitely don't
00:25:51
want to die in my sleep. >> A Jane Goodall. >> That's a huge fear.
00:25:55
>> She died in her sleep. >> The ape woman. >> Yeah, >> she did.
00:25:58
>> Yeah. >> I thought she died from an ape, wasn't she? >> Well, ape was next to her probably. I
00:26:03
don't know. I don't know if she sleeps with him, but I think she died in her
00:26:06
sleep. No. >> Famous people die in their sleep. James Gandalfini, John Candy, Heath Ledger,
00:26:10
Bernie Mack, Britney Murphy, Jerry Garcia, Reggie White. >> Wow. >> William Howard T.
00:26:15
>> Why not die in your sleep? >> I want to know what's coming. >> Oh,
00:26:19
>> like when I die, I want to go, okay, it's happening. >> Oh, I see.
00:26:22
>> I don't want to go to bed and being like, "What a great day."
00:26:25
>> Yeah. >> Honku, honk. And then I And then I never wake up. >> Wow.
00:26:29
>> I want to be alive when I'm dead. >> Hey, >> no, dude. >> You want to be asleep.
00:26:35
>> Yeah. Yeah. >> Well, you sleep so [ __ ] much. going to happen. [laughter]
00:26:38
>> I >> from a percentage perspective. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Like it has to be for you.
00:26:43
>> Yeah. >> By the way, I talked to a buddy today who says that he's gone up north and
00:26:48
eaten reindeer before. >> Oh my god. This >> No, he says they're [ __ ] awesome.
00:26:52
>> This [ __ ] guy does. >> What? >> You don't eat reindeer dog?
00:26:56
>> What do you mean? You can eat reindeer meat. >> No, it looks good. It's like
00:27:01
>> It's too gy probably. >> No, he said it was actually pretty good
00:27:03
because it was because it's fatty, right? Because it's so cold. They have
00:27:06
to eat a lot to stuff up for the winter. So, it's it's it's fattier than um
00:27:10
>> Oh, that does look delicious. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> It's fattier.
00:27:13
>> I think I think of Rudolph and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Well, no. Rudolph.
00:27:17
>> You can't eat Rudolph. >> Somebody did. >> Oh, no. >> Somebody did. Reindeer meat. See, it
00:27:22
looks good. >> Dude, that's like I told you when I was in Australia and I had kangaroo.
00:27:25
Phenomenal. >> I loved it. The guy was like, "Yeah, you might not like it, mate." And I was
00:27:31
like, "I'll try it." We went to like a little bar restaurant thing and I was
00:27:35
kind of like I'll have a couple bites. Ate the whole [ __ ] thing. >> Wow.
00:27:38
>> It was delicious. >> Wow. >> But they needed they need to get rid of
00:27:41
them because they outnumber kangaroos outnumber Australians. Like what is it? It's crazy. I think it's like 3 to one
00:27:46
or something bonkers like that. How much could you charge for Rudolph's nose to
00:27:52
eat? If you actually caught Rudolph, right, and you're like, you know, Rudolph has one nose and it's probably
00:27:58
original because it's red. Bright red. >> Yeah. You probably could eat it.
00:28:02
>> Well, I'm sure you could lick it >> or you could boil it or something.
00:28:05
>> What do you think it would taste like? >> I don't know. I mean, probably
00:28:08
delicious. Like candy cane and >> just [snorts] a sugar. >> Like a a sugary meat. Like a Korean, you
00:28:13
know what I mean? Um meat that's been like, you know what I mean? Um what do
00:28:17
you call it? >> Marinated. >> Marinated. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Marinate that.
00:28:20
>> You could probably charge a million dollars for Rudolph's nose. >> Well, it's one nose. You'd have to
00:28:24
charge way more than that. It's only one. >> Yeah. Or Daffy Duck's duck like beak.
00:28:29
How much could you charge for that? Oh my >> duck beak. >> Daffy duck beat.
00:28:34
>> Right. [laughter] >> What do you think? >> Yeah. >> Yeah.
00:28:37
>> Be so expensive. >> Yeah. Tinkerbell wing. >> Just one. >> Tinkerbell wing. Dude, it's not a
00:28:42
filling. >> No. >> But you could probably charge a good 20 grand for one wing.
00:28:46
>> It's a delicacy. >> It's a delicacy. Yeah. >> What about a Mickey Mouse ear?
00:28:49
>> Ooh. >> Just one ear. >> One ear of Mickey Mouse earier. >> Oh my god.
00:28:54
>> Oh my. I mean, a lot of people would be upset. >> So [laughter] what?
00:28:57
>> Right. >> Oh god. But what if Mickey's walking around with one ear? You know what I
00:29:01
mean? >> See, we didn't kill him. We just took the ear. >> Just one ear.
00:29:05
>> Yeah. Yeah. >> Big deal. >> Yeah. Some Korean guy and a redheaded
00:29:08
guy took my ear. I was sleeping. >> Say that again. I can't hear you. >> What? [laughter]
00:29:14
Oh, yeah. Good one. >> Okay. What is that? Kangaroos. Oh, yeah. It's one to two for every person. Yeah.
00:29:21
There's too many of them. There's [laughter] >> crazy. There's too many Chinese. We
00:29:27
don't eat them. We should [laughter] >> That'd be good. >> What is that? Like the old slogan, eat
00:29:34
the rich. It was just eat the Chinese. [laughter] >> Dude, we went out. We were out uh
00:29:40
>> What' you do? >> And we're out in the mountains and there
00:29:41
was literally no snow up in Utah. It was crazy to me. >> When you say we who?
00:29:45
>> My wife and my well and her family. >> Great. What do you I'm not accusing you
00:29:49
of anything. >> Well, you say like who was I with? I was with the whole >> Well, you could have been with your
00:29:53
family as well. >> Oh, yeah. We switch years. We do the this year, that year, this year.
00:29:56
>> Well, that's all I wanted to know. What year was it? >> Which we're It's their year. You're
00:29:59
right. But we're no longer doing that again. I think I think every year from
00:30:02
now on, we're going to do double downs. >> You got to double down it then. Yeah,
00:30:05
>> I think I got him. My parents are getting older, so I got to do it. I want
00:30:08
to see them more often. But we went up there to to Utah and it was no snow and I didn't care. I wasn't going to ski
00:30:13
this year. But my god, you feel bad. These people that like go up there their whole year they wait to go up there.
00:30:19
They get their kids. They spend all this money going on vacation. No snow. It's
00:30:22
rain. >> You can't ski on no. >> Oh, there's almost no There was almost
00:30:25
no snow up there. Huh? >> You can't ski without snow. >> Yeah, that's what they say.
00:30:28
>> It's a big component. >> Yeah. Why can't you uh water ski?
00:30:32
[laughter] >> The legs are frozen. >> Oh. Oh, they are. >> Yeah.
00:30:36
>> Oh, this is double. >> You could ice skate. >> There we go. Why can't you do that?
00:30:39
>> I would love to ice skate with you. >> I'm pretty good. >> Yeah.
00:30:43
>> Well, don't be Oh, you know what? I fall, you laugh. It'll be the end.
00:30:47
>> I would love to go ice skating. >> I'd love to go ice skating with you as
00:30:50
well. >> Speed skating, though. We would race. >> You can you ice skate?
00:30:53
>> Mhm. >> Okay, I can too. No, >> we'll see. >> Is that Minnesota in you getting you
00:30:58
that still got you? >> We shall see. >> We >> shall see. Dude, I hate your challenging
00:31:04
[ __ ] vibes. [laughter] >> It's so Yeah, [clears throat] cuz he's
00:31:07
Mr. Sporting Guy. What's going on here? >> That's speed skating. >> Yeah. Yeah. I can't do that. But
00:31:12
>> we should try. How funny would we be in those outfits? >> Oh, that'd [laughter] be so funny
00:31:16
>> with those long blades on. Well, the Winter Olympics are coming up. Ask us to
00:31:20
host something. Winter Olympics. >> Yeah. >> Where is it at again this year? Where's
00:31:24
the Winter Olympics? In Italy, I think in like Milan, maybe. Milan. >> How [ __ ] cool. Invite us NBC.
00:31:32
>> Remember Leslie Jones did what? >> Look at these [ __ ] SKIING IN
00:31:36
THIS [ __ ] >> NO, but was didn't she do like the Brazil or [snorts] >> DAMN, THESE GIRLS GOT BIG OLD ASS.
00:31:42
[laughter] BACK TO YOU, [ __ ] >> YEAH, >> that's such a crazy pick to host the
00:31:47
Olympics. >> Yeah, there she is. >> With Al Roker. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. This is, you know, by the way,
00:31:55
this is my petition for comedians to not host anything ever again. >> What?
00:31:58
>> We're not right for this. We try to do these things. It's insane. What do we
00:32:02
Why are we doing this? >> Also, you have to edit yourself and >> you want to make so many inappropriate
00:32:06
jokes and you can't say anything for >> you can't say anything. >> By the way, we rewrote that made me We
00:32:10
just watched the We were talking to a friend at the house and we were talking about vegetarian meals like giving you
00:32:15
farts, you know, >> and Portland had like the best sketch of all time. They go to a vegan restaurant.
00:32:20
Have you ever seen this? >> No. And while they're in the middle of it, the woman's like, "We notice some
00:32:24
flatulation. Would you like to go on our fart fart patio?" There's a patio just
00:32:28
for people that are farting, and they're in full conversation as they're farting.
00:32:30
It's It's so dumb. >> Um, if you do need to flatulate, we have a designated area.
00:32:36
>> Wait. [laughter] So dumb, dude. [laughter] [gasps] Dude, fart patio is brilliant.
00:32:52
Wow. [laughter] >> A little mustard seed. >> Apple for some reason. [laughter]
00:32:59
>> They are two of maybe the funniest. That show was so [ __ ] funny. It was like
00:33:04
ahead of its time. That is so good. >> We're >> I love him. >> Armison. Oh, yeah.
00:33:09
>> I think she's [ __ ] brilliant, too. I mean, they're both geniuses.
00:33:12
>> As a person. >> Oh, >> I don't know her. >> Famous guy. Drop. [laughter]
00:33:17
Oh, Fred and I I >> Wait, wait, wait. [ __ ] off. >> I like him cuz I know him.
00:33:24
>> No, that's not what it [laughter] was. Was that Is that what I was doing?
00:33:27
>> 100%. Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> What? I can't say. Oh, then how Let's do
00:33:33
a doover. >> Dude, this is so funny. >> Let's do a doover. >> I do it and he's like [snorts] he
00:33:37
doesn't use it. [laughter] >> I did not do that. >> Oh, really? THERE THERE'S NOT A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
00:33:45
FRED ARMISON, a comedian, right? that we all know, right? >> Or a [ __ ] or um Taylor Swift.
00:33:53
Different. [laughter] >> Different. Yeah. >> I've never brought I don't bring it up.
00:33:58
You bring it up. >> Yeah. >> And I love to bring it up. >> You name drop it. [snorts]
00:34:03
[sighs and gasps] >> I don't THINK SO. >> YEAH, YOU DO. [screaming]
00:34:07
>> I DON'T THINK SO. WAS THAT HONEST? Let's Let's analyze. >> You [ __ ] name drop people. Yes, you
00:34:12
do. >> Aside from that, where have I been name dropped? Ketus. Uh, you know,
00:34:18
>> Michael Bay. >> You know who from the the meeting, the men's meeting?
00:34:22
>> Yeah, dude. You name drop all the time. Stop it. Stop it. >> So do you, though?
00:34:25
>> No. [laughter] >> Yeah, you do. >> No. Who? What do I do? You just name
00:34:28
drop when I tell you in private. Somebody >> told me a story. I don't want to bring
00:34:32
it up. >> Go ahead. Do it. >> No, I don't want to. >> Do it.
00:34:35
>> Oh, I was at a restaurant and Baitman was there with Jennifer Aniston and this
00:34:38
and that, right? You brought that story up >> on this show? >> No, not out loud, but to tell. I just
00:34:43
said I tell you in private and then you bring it up on the show. [snorts] >> I literally just said that.
00:34:48
>> Yeah, but I'm just saying the act NO NO NO NO. THE ACT OF name dropping is
00:34:53
something that you do. >> Okay, so time out. You name drop in private way more than me [laughter]
00:34:59
>> when >> we just don't talk about it on the show. >> I DON'T NAME DROP at all, dude.
00:35:03
>> Yes, you do. >> ALL RIGHT, SO LET'S >> obsessed with celebrities.
00:35:07
>> Oh god, Portlandia. I love that show. I don't know, Fred. [laughter]
00:35:12
That's what you should have said. >> Is that what I should have said or
00:35:15
>> No, I just said he's a genius. And you go he's a great guy. >> Yeah.
00:35:18
>> Like I know him. He's a guy I know. >> We were saying how funny.
00:35:22
>> Well, I did a movie with them like 6 months ago. >> Another drop.
00:35:25
>> Mhm. >> Another drop. I did a movie 6 months ago. I work. >> IS THAT OH, [ __ ] YOU, DUDE. IS THAT WHAT
00:35:32
IT IS? >> YES, it is. >> You know what? I don't like that about myself. I'm never going to do it again.
00:35:36
>> What was the name of the movie? >> Is it out? >> Green Day's movie.
00:35:40
>> Yeah. Oh, right. That's a huge one. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> No, there's a lot of people in that.
00:35:44
>> Yeah. >> Like a ton of people are in this movie. >> Yeah. So, um
00:35:46
>> what's it called? >> New Year's Rev right now. >> When does it come out?
00:35:50
>> I don't know. >> Well, they missed their opportunity. It's New Year's.
00:35:52
>> Maybe next New Year's. [laughter] Maybe next New Year's. But um
00:35:56
>> I see a lot of clips going viral by the way um from our our good friend Logic's
00:36:00
movie that you were in. >> Oh yeah. >> Like a lot of clips on the Have you seen
00:36:04
this on the internet? A lot of them are being bounced around. Particularly the conversations with him and his father
00:36:09
because his dad is a crazy character. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm barely in that. I
00:36:12
have no lines. >> Shout out Logic though. We love him. >> I have no lines in it. I love Logic.
00:36:15
>> He's a great dude. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> I was on the I was on tour when you guys
00:36:19
were filming that thing. I wish I could have come up there. >> Well, you know what happened was I um
00:36:23
>> Spokane. Where was it? >> I had a bigger role. I showed up. I had
00:36:26
[ __ ] co >> Oh, that's right. >> Right. And they go, "You can't show up
00:36:30
on set." I go, "What do I do?" They're like, "Just stay." So, I stayed in this
00:36:33
hotel room for like 5 days. I remember you were stuck. That's right. >> And then I was flying out and they're
00:36:38
like, "Can you just be this kind of background guy since you're here?"
00:36:43
>> Call Santino background guy right here. Background guy. >> So, I just kind of did it. But, you
00:36:48
know, I love Logic a lot. >> No, he's a great dude. >> Yeah. Yeah. He's a great dude.
00:36:52
>> You got so much work lined up on the horizon, Bob. I'm so proud. >> So, do you No, I don't.
00:36:56
>> Well, you you decline work. [laughter] >> Decline work? >> Yeah, you do.
00:37:01
>> No, I don't. There's nothing comes my way. Un >> the stuff that I'm in is bad. I still do
00:37:05
it. >> You should read it first. >> I don't read it. >> If it's bad, don't do it.
00:37:08
>> But it I just do tell you. How about this? >> You think I read Karate Ghost?
00:37:13
[laughter] >> I got something big. >> They go karate ghost. Yeah, I'll do it.
00:37:16
>> I got something big coming up and I want to announce it and I'm very excited
00:37:20
about I'm going to brag right now, guys. Big time. >> Go ahead. >> Big time.
00:37:23
>> Go ahead. >> Huge for me. >> Go on. >> It's January, end of the month. My best
00:37:31
buddy's gonna be shooting a special at the Balboa Theater. >> Okay. >> Four shows.
00:37:38
>> Sold out. >> They're not sold out. >> Yeah, they are. They're all sold out.
00:37:41
>> Are they sold out? >> Everything is sold out. Bobby Lee Live sold out. Baloa Theater. Four shows. My
00:37:48
guy. They're all sold out. I looked. They're all sold out. >> Click on them. They're all sold out. How
00:37:53
amazing. >> Okay. >> Are you excited? >> Well, here's the thing. Okay. I'm trying
00:37:57
not to think about it. >> What do you mean you're not trying to think about it? Cuz I have what I have,
00:38:01
right? What? Why you shaking your head? >> No, >> it's not sold out.
00:38:05
>> Yes, it is. >> Look at those little blue spots, >> brother. That's gone. That'll be gone in
00:38:09
2 days. Those are like reserve seats. It's sold out. >> Yeah, I I don't care about the back
00:38:15
either. Is Is the Wait, are the whites the empty seats? >> Yeah. >> Oh, [ __ ]
00:38:21
>> No, dude. He's kidding. It's the other way around. Get off of the ticket,
00:38:24
master. >> Okay. Okay. >> No. Are [clears throat] the whites the empty seats?
00:38:26
>> Sold. Sold. >> Okay. Thank god. >> No, you're sold out. the [ __ ] god.
00:38:30
>> Are the whites the empty? [laughter] >> Yeah. Yeah. And only the back row they
00:38:34
bought? What the [ __ ] >> A a guy who's never bought a ticket in his entire life.
00:38:38
>> Oh, which ones are the ones I have? >> Yeah. It as Okay. Can I just say this
00:38:44
about the special event? >> Doesn't that drive you nuts, by the way, when somebody's in your seat when you
00:38:47
get to a place and you go, "Oh, those are our seats." And they're like, they
00:38:50
are. And you're like, >> "Yeah, come on, man. Let's not do this
00:38:53
dance." >> Yeah. >> And they're like, "Um, >> I don't I think let me see. Let me
00:38:58
look." And then they look and they go, "Oh, you're right. Oh, you're right."
00:39:01
Yeah, we're >> we're way the [ __ ] we're all the way up there. Yeah.
00:39:04
>> You're like, "You're [ __ ] What are you doing? You knew you were [ __ ] I
00:39:06
know." >> Just just I've sat in other people's seats. I've done that before.
00:39:10
>> Yeah. But when you do it, you get up, right? No. No. I've done it >> for years. We go to Dodger games. We
00:39:15
would sneak all the way down. We used to do that all the time. >> Yeah. >> And then when they come to go, you guys
00:39:19
are go, "You got it. You caught us." And then get up and go. Yeah, >> but you don't do the thing where you
00:39:23
kill time and you go, "Oh, is this uh you [ __ ] know? We sneak down." You
00:39:29
know, that's like a part of the game is, you know, >> on TikTok, I saw a woman. She was a
00:39:33
little drunk and she go she sits in a first class seat. She's in college. The
00:39:38
first class guy comes up and goes, "Hey, I think that's my seat." And she goes,
00:39:42
"Well, I just paid a lot of money for my ticket and I decided I'm going to sit
00:39:46
here." >> What? That's got to be a sketch. >> Talk space. No, I I'm going to talk to
00:39:51
you right now about it. Right. Um I've had a lot of trauma growing up and if I
00:39:56
held that in my body keeps the score. >> Okay. >> Body keeps the score.
00:40:01
>> Yeah. Yeah. And what I did was I did some EMDR through um Talkspace and um
00:40:07
I'm relieved. I'm lighter. Talkspace is the number one rated online therapy
00:40:12
bringing you professional support from licensed therapists and psychiatrists that you can access anytime, anywhere.
00:40:18
>> Anytime and anywhere. Take control of your mental health. Okay? Better mental
00:40:21
health leads to better health overall. I'm telling you, we're big proponents on
00:40:24
this show of getting yourself some therapy and speaking to someone about whatever it may be. Could be big, could
00:40:28
be small, could be nothing at all. But Talkspace is here to talk to you. They make uh getting the help you need easy,
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00:40:43
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00:40:53
>> That's space 80. S P A C80 to match with a licensed therapist today. Go to
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talkspace.com/word and enter promo code space 80. >> Shopify. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and
00:41:06
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00:41:12
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>> Go to shopify.com/badfriends. >> That's shopify.com/bad >> friends.
00:42:18
>> Here your first this new year with Shopify by your side. >> But no, but the video that I saw was a
00:42:24
white lady. She was a little drunk and she's just like, "What would you do
00:42:28
>> if if she was in my seat?" >> Yeah. >> I'd be like, "Oh, ma'am, I think you're
00:42:31
in my seat." But what she gave you're the drunk white lady. >> I So I'm sorry, but you know I paid for
00:42:36
C2. >> Okay. >> And I just kind I sat here first. >> Oh, you sat there first?
00:42:41
>> Yeah, I got on first and you were a little late. So I'm I'm just going to
00:42:45
sit here and you can sit in wherever I'm sitting and >> No. Okay. So here's the deal. Yeah.
00:42:49
That's my seat I paid for. So I'd like to Oh, you don't want to move?
00:42:52
>> I don't think I'm going to because I can't here first. >> Oh, you got here first? Yeah. Are you a
00:42:56
little intoxicated, ma'am? >> Yeah. I've drank some brandy. >> Well, how about this? You go to the back
00:43:01
of the plane to your seat where you belong and I'll I'll give you drinks the
00:43:03
whole flight. >> I'm I'm not moving. >> I'll give you drinks all flight.
00:43:07
>> Hey, Red. Can I call you Red? >> Please. >> You [ __ ] freak.
00:43:12
>> Whoa. >> You're redheaded freak of nature. >> Listen here, Connie Chung.
00:43:16
>> Are you racist? >> Yeah. >> Okay. [laughter] Okay. >> Okay. Okay.
00:43:22
>> Listen you. What army is going to remove me from my seat? [laughter] >> Ice.
00:43:29
>> The red army. Ice Army. I'm not >> They did eventually kick her out.
00:43:33
>> You got to It's [ __ ] insane. >> But I But here's what I don't get,
00:43:36
though. >> It It was a white lady. >> Okay. >> Right. It could be other races.
00:43:41
>> You better not attack the whites. >> I know. What I'm saying is there was an
00:43:45
entitlement in the video, which bothered me >> that white women all are entitled.
00:43:50
>> No, I'm not saying that. I just She just happened to be. But but but when it's
00:43:53
mixed with white, >> it's a little bit more bothersome to me. >> Right.
00:43:59
No, actually if it was any other race, it would be bothered. [laughter] I think >> you would find a thing to be bothered by
00:44:04
it no matter what. >> Yeah, I think that's how Yeah. Yeah. But I just wanted to like couch your eyes
00:44:08
out. >> She's like, I'm not going to move. >> Yeah. I'm not moving. It's like I bought
00:44:11
a coach seat. Go back. >> You know what I mean? >> Or well or go, hey, you can have it.
00:44:17
Just pay me the difference in the fair. >> Oh, that's Yeah, that's
00:44:19
>> And I'll go sit in my seat. Just give me the cash if you got it. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:44:22
>> I'll go do that. >> You would do that? I don't think so. >> If they had the cash? No.
00:44:26
>> Be a fun story to Yeah. You're you're flying to Australia. [laughter]
00:44:31
>> I mean, >> yeah. Yeah. >> Insane. >> Insane. >> I don't even know I could I could do
00:44:34
that flight again. >> Like I love it down there. That's so It was so long. It was like
00:44:39
>> It's so long. >> You feel like you wasted a part of your life.
00:44:43
>> Like when you land you're like I think I'm much older now. >> We were on a flight together and you
00:44:47
both first class. I never saw you the whole time. >> Yeah. It's 15 hours.
00:44:51
>> Yeah. 15. We never even saw each other the whole time. >> Oh. Cuz it's exhausting.
00:44:55
>> And then Burr was on the flight, right? Oh yeah, Bill was on. >> Yeah. Yeah. On a flight. And then it's
00:45:00
like >> I saw him one time he was going to the bathroom and I I saw him get up go to
00:45:05
the bathroom so I can say hi. >> You got up to say hi? >> Yeah. I didn't have to pee or anything.
00:45:08
I just like I'm going to wait in line of the bathroom. When he gets up he [laughter]
00:45:13
>> Well, I want to say hi. >> That sounds so creepy. >> I didn't have to pee. I just wanted to
00:45:19
say hi >> because I knew that what was going to happen is the plane's going to like cuz
00:45:22
he was in front of me, right? That he was going to I know he gets an escort. Yeah.
00:45:27
>> A group of people go come like this way. You know what I mean? >> It is funny how he does. We We don't We
00:45:31
would never get >> We don't have an escort. >> Carlos gets escorts.
00:45:35
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Different kinds. >> Yeah. Yeah. But um so I waited. He got
00:45:41
out and then I said, "Oh, I was surprised too." >> Bill, >> I go, "Bill, what's going on?"
00:45:46
>> So nerdy. >> Hey buddy, what's going on? You know what I mean? This and that. You know
00:45:49
what I mean? But I purposely did that. You've never done [clears throat] that
00:45:52
>> to say hi to Bill? No, just in general like got up put Okay, >> but I can't but I can't believe I
00:45:58
haven't shared this story. >> Tell me. >> You want the biggest name drop of all?
00:46:02
>> Tell me. >> I think I told you. Child in the middle. >> I got to meet somebody for 5 seconds.
00:46:10
>> I know who it is. >> I told you, didn't I? >> I know. I knew it was about to happen.
00:46:13
You never told me that you actually did it. >> I did it. I met President Obama.
00:46:17
>> That's amazing. >> Wow. >> It was [ __ ] insane. My buddy who's
00:46:21
friends with him was like, "Hey man, when are you back in town from Vegas?"
00:46:27
And I was like, "Oh, Monday night." He's like, "Do you think you can come see me
00:46:30
on Tuesday?" I was like, "Well," he's like, "I'm playing golf with Obama." And
00:46:33
I was like, "No." He's like, "I swear to God." And I was like, "Well, what
00:46:38
I mean, what am I going to do? Like, say hi." And he's like, "Yeah, if you'd
00:46:43
like, I'll introduce you." So, I go over there. >> Are you wearing a golf uniform?
00:46:47
>> No, I'm [clears throat] just dressed nice. >> Okay. because I'm not playing or
00:46:50
nothing, but I go over there to say I go over there to say hi and they're done
00:46:54
and I'm kind of like hanging around and this was like a moment in time that blew
00:46:58
my mind. He was like walking around the Secret Service. They're done. They're
00:47:01
about to leave and he, you know, like Secret Service is everywhere. It's crazy. And my buddy sees me, makes eye
00:47:09
contact because I told him, I said, "Dude, if it's not a thing, don't I
00:47:12
don't need to I don't want to bother." >> You don't want to force the situation.
00:47:14
>> [ __ ] no. And I don't want to make him be like, "What gives a [ __ ] about you?"
00:47:18
>> Who gives a [ __ ] Yeah. Yeah. And then he looked at me, made eye contact, and
00:47:20
he went like this. And then I'm not kidding, dude. >> Well, your friend did that.
00:47:24
>> Yeah, he saw me. >> I thought Barack did that. >> No, [laughter]
00:47:28
Dave. >> No, >> I seen him on Dave. >> Your your mind is going to be blown.
00:47:33
>> Go ahead. >> Because he [ __ ] he goes like this and he like ushers him to me, which was like
00:47:38
I was almost laughing. He's like ushering him towards me like around people like people are kind of waiting
00:47:44
quietly and he goes, "I would like to introduce you to a buddy of mine, Andrew
00:47:48
Santino, comedian, [snorts] Chicago, Illinois." And I said, "Uh, I loaded
00:47:53
this up." I said, "Mr. President, it's an honor to meet you." And he goes, "I
00:47:57
know who this guy is." And I was like, "Get the [ __ ] out of here." He literally
00:48:02
goes, "I know who this guy is." >> Now, how does my Fred Armerson story
00:48:07
[laughter] Can we [ __ ] compare to [laughter] that, DUDE? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?
00:48:18
[ __ ] OFF. [laughter] >> It was so good. Oh. >> Oh my god. >> We chatted about Chicago for 5 seconds
00:48:27
and I said, "It's an absolute pleasure and honor to meet you and I don't want
00:48:30
to waste any any more of your time." >> You said that? >> Yeah.
00:48:32
>> Oh my god. I said it's an pleasure and an honor to meet you and don't want to
00:48:36
waste anything. >> And now were you nervous? >> No, cuz it was kind of like he was his
00:48:40
he's extremely disarming. >> He's so like even though he is, you know, this figure
00:48:47
>> he's a historical figure. >> No, but I'm saying he's so cool.
00:48:50
>> It's like meeting John Adams or or you know what I mean? Or like you Paul River
00:48:54
or whatever. [laughter] >> I met Paul Rivere. Like who could say that? You know what I mean?
00:48:58
>> It's like meeting Obama. >> He was so fast on the horse. You know
00:49:01
what I mean? I barely met him. [laughter] There he goes. Bye, Paul. >> I met the horse.
00:49:06
>> I met the horse. [laughter] >> What? >> Just meet the horse.
00:49:09
>> Yeah. Yeah. Just meet the horse. Yeah. Yeah. >> No, he he he was very cool. Just his
00:49:12
vibe. He was cool. He was very nice. He wasn't like uh it didn't feel heavy.
00:49:16
>> I mean, it's like the difference. >> Yeah. >> You know what I mean? Of caliber.
00:49:21
>> Well, we're not friends. I just got to say hello to the man. >> I know, but the situations that you're
00:49:25
in are so much different than situation. You know what I mean? I would like trolls and stuff. That's who I'm
00:49:29
>> Well, if you weren't such a [ __ ] recluse. Maybe >> if you got up, get out and did
00:49:33
something, you'd meet people. >> Okay. >> But anyway, so Wow. And then you shook
00:49:37
his hand. >> Yeah. [snorts] >> Soft. >> Uh, he dapped me up. >> Oh, [ __ ] dude. That's the real [ __ ]
00:49:45
>> That's [laughter] >> right. Is that the real [ __ ] That's the
00:49:47
good stuff. >> What's up? >> But you have to be introduced. >> What?
00:49:53
>> If you're pumped, >> if you're introduced to by another by a
00:49:56
black person, >> all your friend was black. [laughter] Oh, did you assume he was white?
00:50:02
>> Yeah. >> No. >> Is it someone that we know? Something that I know, too?
00:50:06
>> You definitely don't know this guy. Okay. Is this because you don't have any
00:50:09
black friends? Is that what this is? >> I have black friends. >> All white in your mind. [laughter]
00:50:13
>> The guy who you called him like Dani Jones. You didn't even know his name.
00:50:18
>> You were like, Jani Jones. I was like, what [laughter] the [ __ ] >> All right. Anyway, [laughter] wow.
00:50:27
That's a really that's a life experience that you know >> it was honestly it was a it was a moment
00:50:32
in my day where I was like this is maybe >> it's incredible. >> Yeah. Congratulations.
00:50:37
>> 4 seconds of time and I literally said I don't want to waste any more time. Yeah.
00:50:40
>> And he was like oh man we got to go. It's all it's all good. But he chatted
00:50:43
about Chicago for a hot second. >> I mean I I had RFK Jr. on Tiger Belly. That's the the farthest I think I'll
00:50:49
ever go politically. >> It's a pleasure to meet you. >> Yeah. That's what it was. But u
00:50:53
>> No, it was incredible moment in my life. Wow. It honestly it was like one of
00:50:56
those things. I was [ __ ] awesome. Just got to all I want to do was say hi to the guy like, "Hey, man."
00:51:02
>> Wow. >> It was cool. >> Yeah. And then when you on the drive
00:51:05
home, >> what were you thinking? >> I called Well, I called my parents.
00:51:10
>> Yeah. >> It's [ __ ] It was cool. It was a cool moment in time. It was one of those.
00:51:14
>> Congratulations. Yeah. Stays with me. >> It's huge. >> And you know what the best part was?
00:51:18
>> Yeah. No photo. >> That's so funny. You knew what I was gonna say. It was great because some
00:51:24
people were kind of trying to maybe get a picture. >> Yeah. >> And I was like, he's not going to like
00:51:30
that. >> So, they shut it down. Like, good. >> Not him, but other people were like,
00:51:35
"No, no, no, no, no. Don't don't do No, no, >> yeah. >> Enjoy the moment. He doesn't like
00:51:39
>> He gets pictures probably up the kazoo." >> Well, think about this. People take
00:51:43
photos of him everywhere he is. >> Yeah. >> So, you know how many times in public
00:51:48
you see someone like >> Yeah. >> How many people do that all day? >> Yeah.
00:51:51
>> So, like Enjoy the moment. >> It's a memory. >> I was nervous at the very beginning and
00:51:56
then he disarms you. You know what it made me feel like? >> You know when you're like when someone's
00:52:01
like someone go you get nervous before you go on stage and you go well I'm anxious. I'm not like nervous. I'm just
00:52:05
like excited and I kind of get like like I want to jump out of my [ __ ] skin. Sure.
00:52:09
>> And the moment you get on and say something >> it's like gone.
00:52:13
>> You know what I mean? Like the anxiety like is gone when you start doing the
00:52:16
job that we do. It felt the same way. Mhm. >> And then he got to me and it was like,
00:52:20
this is going to sound corny, but you do get why some people [ __ ] get that kind of status. You talk to a guy for 5
00:52:27
seconds, you're like, I get it. This guy's [ __ ] >> Oh, yeah. >> He's got all the pieces.
00:52:30
>> You're born with it. >> He's got all the pieces. It figured it
00:52:33
out. >> You got to have the pieces. >> By the way, I I bet you'd feel that way
00:52:35
about any president you'd ever meet. >> There's a reason. >> Yeah, dude. It's to get there is crazy.
00:52:40
>> To get there is crazy. That's the prime level in terms of politics. Any
00:52:44
president you would meet, you'd go, "Oh, this is [ __ ] Except for Ford."
00:52:48
>> Yeah. Yeah. [laughter] >> [ __ ] dude. Get [ __ ] nerd. >> Yeah.
00:52:54
>> No. No. You would. You'd feel the same way about anybody. >> Wow.
00:52:57
>> Yeah. It was wild. I thought I told you. >> No, I knew you called.
00:53:00
>> I told told you I was going to maybe >> No, you were on your way to go,
00:53:04
>> right? I was telling you I was going. >> Yeah. You're not going to believe where
00:53:06
I'm going. >> But I did say to you I did say I bet I won't get to meet him. Yeah. But then I
00:53:12
said to you, "Make sure you call me after you do it." And you never did.
00:53:15
>> I called my I CALLED EVERYBODY ELSE. >> YEAH, I KNOW. BUT YEAH, BUT I'M THE ONE
00:53:19
THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN LIKE, "WOW." >> Why do you think I held it >> for this?
00:53:22
>> Yeah, for the show. >> Okay. >> Wow. I knew you were going.
00:53:26
>> He goes, "Uh, I remember." He goes, "Hey, where's Bobby?"
00:53:29
>> No, he never. >> How [ __ ] amazing. If Dude, Also, when he said I know this guy, I
00:53:35
thought I got this. He's definitely got to be plugged into the internet world.
00:53:40
His kid's a director. His daughter is a director, right? >> Aren't they both in the business?
00:53:45
>> Yeah. Yeah. Malia is Yeah. >> A director. >> Yeah, dude. They're plugged in.
00:53:50
>> Well, I just did a show that they produced. >> Yeah, they're plugged in, man. They know
00:53:53
what's I mean, he was Yeah, he knows. >> And I I literally thought, you know what
00:53:57
I mean? When I got the offer for the show, they go, "The Obamas are producing
00:54:01
it." And I go, >> "I'm in. I'm doing it. It's an offer."
00:54:05
They go, "Yeah." and and I show up out in the [ __ ] nowhere land and thinking
00:54:09
that they're going to be there. They're going [laughter] to be there. >> It'd be cool if they did.
00:54:13
>> I know, but they're not going to be there. I just showed up. It was just
00:54:15
like a regular shoot with regular people. >> Oh my god. Gifts. Gifts. Gifts. Gifts.
00:54:21
Gifts. Gifts. Jingo. >> Whoa. >> Oh, dude. So, what is it? This is what
00:54:27
they were talking about. >> Yeah, it works. Just Wi-Fi anywhere. >> You know what the best part about this
00:54:32
is? We bought these. >> No, you didn't. I promise. >> Who paid for these?
00:54:37
>> We got it an amount and it's not going to come from y'all. So, no way.
00:54:40
>> We didn't buy this. >> Promise. No. No. We made sure that you
00:54:43
didn't. >> Who paid for it? >> 7X. >> Oh, >> yeah. >> Heck did. And so we paid for it.
00:54:52
>> We paid for it. [laughter] >> You Yeah, >> we paid for these.
00:54:55
>> No, I'm kidding. This is so >> This is a great gift. >> This is very nice.
00:54:59
>> I don't know how to Do I just put my PlayStation? >> It's really easy. It's like setting up
00:55:04
an iPad. You know, I'm I'm nervous about this. >> What? >> About using these now.
00:55:08
>> Why? >> Did you see that clip about um about uh Kamla and wired headphones?
00:55:18
>> Mm- >> Oh, this is going to [ __ ] you up. >> Thank you so much. This is great,
00:55:23
>> guys. This is so nice. >> And you can play any PlayStation game. It's got the same effects. And
00:55:29
>> this is very cool, you guys. Thank you so very much. >> It's really good. Click on Yeah, click
00:55:33
on this. Listen to this clip. So, she got a lot of [ __ ] for like wearing these
00:55:36
wired headphones. >> Don't be on the train using your earpods and thinking somebody can't listen to
00:55:41
your conversation. I'm just telling you that's a little bit more secure.
00:55:46
[laughter] >> She's laughing, but she's very serious. That's the creepiest part about that.
00:55:52
She's like, I served on the intelligence committee. >> I've literally never heard anyone's
00:55:56
music through a [ __ ] AirPod. >> No, she's saying people can tap in and
00:56:00
listen to your conversation. How? >> Well, because it's W. This is Bluetooth.
00:56:04
>> What are they? Mag Who are they? >> Professor X from X-Men. I mean, like,
00:56:08
how do you do it? >> Professor X is down in the [laughter] >> He does live in the subway. And you know
00:56:12
why he lives down there? >> It's not ADA compliant. >> Okay. Anyway,
00:56:16
>> he can't get back up. [laughter] >> You don't want them there.
00:56:18
>> Unless you go down. >> You don't want those then? >> No, I do, man. I'm just having fun on
00:56:21
the show. [laughter] >> Just having fun on the show. >> I thought you were being serious.
00:56:26
>> No, dude. >> Yeah, cuz if you don't want them, I'll take them.
00:56:28
>> Just making a bit for the show. >> Okay. Okay. Good bit. >> Yeah. Thanks for killing it.
00:56:32
>> Yeah. Yeah. I destroyed it. >> No, it's okay. >> Yeah. Yeah. I'm sorry.
00:56:35
>> No, no, no. >> Yeah. Good top stuff. >> You got any New Year's resolutions? This
00:56:39
is the thing that people, you know, people hate it, but we all pretend to do it a little bit.
00:56:45
>> Well, I'm not um I don't know, man. I don't think I do. >> You don't want to change anything?
00:56:52
>> Not really. No. >> I I think I'm pretty good. I'm on a good
00:56:57
path here. >> That's great. >> Yeah. You have any? >> Oh, yeah.
00:57:00
>> Give me one. >> I hope to find the cure for cancer by March. >> Um,
00:57:08
it's [ __ ] [laughter and snorts] >> Did you say that's [ __ ] >> Real. I wasn't.
00:57:14
>> I know, but then I can make [ __ ] up. >> Okay, then do it. >> That's what this whole show is, is
00:57:19
making stuff up. It's kind of what we're doing here, Dennis. >> Yeah. Okay.
00:57:22
>> It's kind of what we're doing here, Dennis. >> Yeah. Um, I'm going to make short
00:57:26
stilts. >> [snorts and laughter] >> See? Funny. >> Is that funny?
00:57:30
>> Funny. >> Yeah. I think they're They're too long. [laughter]
00:57:33
>> You know what I mean? When you see them, they're too long. Yeah. I mean, have
00:57:36
them be two feet off the ground. >> They are too long. >> Yeah, they're stilts are too long.
00:57:41
>> Have you ever seen painter stilts? Yeah, those those are tiny. >> They have them already, Bob.
00:57:45
>> They have what? Short stilts. >> Yeah, they're there. Yeah, paint.
00:57:48
>> No, no, no. I'm talking about the way you know. Oh, that that Oh, they are
00:57:51
short. [ __ ] [laughter] Um, >> man, your ideas are just getting taken. >> They're taken. All right. Um,
00:58:00
>> what is she doing? [laughter] Like, oh, they have just a child on stilts for no
00:58:03
reason. And by the way, the mom was like, I know you hate it. Just take the photo. [laughter]
00:58:09
>> I'm going to do mayonnaise flavored yogurt. >> They got it. >> I don't think they do.
00:58:14
>> They have it. >> Yo. >> [ __ ] [laughter] Yo, they already have
00:58:19
it. >> God, everything has been on Shark Tank already. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:58:24
>> Okay. Think let's think of something else. Let's create something here. Let
00:58:26
me You got it. >> I got it. >> Yeah. >> Uh we're going to manufacture. We're
00:58:31
going to let's do make a shoe company and we only sell left shoes. No rights.
00:58:37
>> Oh, that's good. >> And it's called no rights. You have no
00:58:39
rights. [laughter] >> You have no rights. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> And all the pros right.
00:58:43
>> Yeah. That's good. This is good. See if I have that. >> No rights. Only left shoes. Just this
00:58:50
guy selling his shoes. That's already He's already doing it, dude. >> No, he's just [laughter] selling.
00:58:54
>> All right. >> Now, there's a website for just one >> one foot. Oh, for people with just one
00:58:59
foot. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. There we go. They already have it. [laughter]
00:59:01
>> See, though, you can't come up with anything. All right. How about that?
00:59:05
Shark, >> by the way. Yeah. >> That is so incredible. Cuz somebody at
00:59:09
one point was like, I ONLY NEED ONE. [laughter] >> YEAH. YEAH. >> Just give me one.
00:59:16
>> Yeah. Yeah. >> I DON'T HAVE A MY LEFT FOOT. >> YEAH. >> They call me loopy. I used to dance in
00:59:21
circles. [laughter] >> Shark Shark skinned co mask. >> Oh, shark skin co mask. I guarantee you
00:59:26
that. >> There's no way they got that. >> Shark skin co mask. >> They got that
00:59:29
>> right here. [laughter] >> That's the whole shark head. I'm
00:59:32
>> at Etsy Canada. They have >> I got to tell you, Sharkhead is way cooler.
00:59:35
>> Yeah. You come up with another one. >> Wait, wait. Go to all and see if they
00:59:38
really sell it. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Shark skin co mask. No, we could be
00:59:43
good. >> I think we're good with that. >> I think >> I don't know it's gonna give it good
00:59:46
protection, [laughter] >> you know, >> but still. >> Still. Yeah. Yeah. Um,
00:59:52
>> uh, >> half a hula hoop. >> A hula. >> A hula. >> Just a hula hoop.
00:59:56
>> Hoola, half a hoop. >> Hula, half hoop. Hula, half the hoop. >> Half a hoop.
01:00:00
>> Half a hoop. >> Yeah, >> like skip it. Remember? Skip it. >> Yeah. I don't think it exists.
01:00:06
>> No, there's >> I think we got it. It wouldn't work though. That's the only problem.
01:00:10
>> Somebody would find a way. >> You need the second half of the hoop for
01:00:12
>> Somebody would find a way. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Where there's a will, there's a way.
01:00:15
Uhhuh. >> Oh, look at this. Go back to that photo. Look at that. It's so
01:00:20
>> Martin Luther King. >> Yeah. >> I have a dream. >> Yeah.
01:00:23
>> One day my brothers and sisters will be hula hooping in the park. >> Zoom. Yeah. Zoom into that photo.
01:00:28
[laughter] >> What do you think that black kid's thinking? >> I can't wait to steal her hula hoop.
01:00:33
[laughter] >> Yeah, that's what he's doing. That's what he's doing.
01:00:37
>> He's looking at the camera. He's like, "Damn, they got me."
01:00:39
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> I was just about to steal that bitch's hula hoop.
01:00:42
>> Yeah. [laughter] >> Yeah. Yeah, he doesn't want [laughter] to.
01:00:49
>> Look at Zoom in. He's looking right at the camera. >> Yeah, >> he's looking [ __ ] they got me.
01:00:55
>> Or he's thinking the [ __ ] I like wouldn't use a hula hoop. They're too
01:00:59
fat. [laughter] >> That's what he's thinking. >> He's like an eight-year-old boy.
01:01:06
[laughter] >> Mama, why you got me? >> Yeah. Yeah. I've never seen a black guy
01:01:11
hula hoop. >> Can black guys hul He's googling. I knew he was going to Google it.
01:01:16
>> Yeah. Yeah. >> Black guy hula hoop video. >> Yeah. >> Okay.
01:01:22
>> Oh, they they do. They do. >> They do. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Uh oh. Let's see it.
01:01:25
>> Yeah. >> Whoa. >> Wow. [laughter] >> Oh, cuz there's dancing involved.
01:01:30
>> Oh, wow. That's why that's Yeah. Yeah. There has to be dancing. [laughter]
01:01:35
>> Black guys won't hula hoop. Unless there's dancing, baby. >> Yeah.
01:01:40
>> That's cool, though. He can dance with it. That's incredible. >> That's so funny.
01:01:44
>> That's so good. [laughter] Whoa, dude. Yeah. >> Hey. Hey. >> Hey. Yeah. Yeah.
01:01:49
>> Darnell, I heard your your cousin hula hoops. Oh, but he be dancing hula
01:01:52
hooping. [laughter] He hula dancing in that mother. Oh, get it, boy. Oh, get it. By [laughter] the
01:01:57
way, of course, a black guy would make this look cool. >> Yeah, they look cool.
01:02:01
>> It's unbelievable. Do a white guy [ __ ] hula hoop it. Go to white guy
01:02:04
hula hooping and watch how insane a regular adult looks when they hula hoop. >> Yeah, white guys got to be working out
01:02:10
while he's hula hooping. >> Yeah, there we go. [laughter] >> Oh yeah. [ __ ] yeah, dude.
01:02:14
>> Yeah. Oh yeah, >> that is pretty cool though. That is pretty cool.
01:02:18
>> I don't know. >> Yeah. [laughter] I've never seen a black
01:02:19
guy hopscotching. >> Black guys hopscotch. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Well, they do when they're kids.
01:02:25
>> No, as an adult. >> Adults don't hopcotch. >> Oh, hopscotch all day.
01:02:28
>> You be hopcotching? >> Yeah, I be hoping all day, dude. Was okay.
01:02:33
>> I hope everybody's having an amazing new year so far. Uh we love you. We're
01:02:37
excited to see where this year goes. >> What a great episode. >> Okay. [laughter]
01:02:43
So, >> what a good time. >> Good chemistry, you know what I mean? Back and forth. You mean
01:02:48
>> cruising >> cruise machine and and you know I mean what's hut hut? We learned all that.
01:02:54
>> Straight up. >> Straight up. You know what I mean? >> I hope everyone's having a great new
01:02:57
year. >> I want everyone to do that. >> And most importantly, >> yeah,
01:03:01
>> thank you for being for being a bad friend. Woo! Yeah! Woo!