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all right guys guys there's new merch out badfriends.com bad friends merch you guys there's new
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merch out badfriends.com merch yeah badfriendsmerch.com
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badfriendsmerch.com check it out our new ship new merch we got out it's very cool real good real sexy go to
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badfriendsmerch.com you two are bad friends who are these two idiots white dude i'm an asian dude
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you two are disgusting oh you two or something we're bad friends i don't want to talk about it
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but i want to say that you know your fear is um obvious and i what is my fear
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i don't know what's my fear you don't have it what's my fear that you go up there with
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no material and you just show your penis and then that's the show that's not my fear if that's what i'm gonna do that's
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a reality you think that's what i'm gonna do up there show my penis and say give me a thousand dollars you won't show a part of your body on stage
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if you told me not to get me a thousand dollars you won't show a party i'll give you a thousand dollars and i'm gonna say this too okay and you have to do only
00:01:00
material for a half an hour straight no i'm not i'm doing a guest spot i'm not doing a [ __ ] feature spot you're doing a half an hour bub
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i'm not gonna be there saturday then you dictate i dictate the rules i dictate the rules i'm a baby you are i'm
00:01:14
the baby you are i can get the rules yeah i say what i want to do yeah yeah hi jules hi i'm so happy that you're
00:01:20
here i thought you weren't gonna all right yeah she's enough she's why are you in a bad mood because she's beach girl
00:01:27
yeah she goes to the beach in the mornings and then she comes home all grumpy and like i went to the beach leave me alone i'm
00:01:33
beach girl what's your deal nothing no she's dude your whole your whole [ __ ] life
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is tiring what do you do you don't do anything how can you be tired we just went diving that's it
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i was tired from it glad you're here no i was just about to say so nice
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i know it's like me and you should just live get get a get a house together bro we would bro if you and i live together
00:02:03
how fun would that be it'd be fun for the first 48 hours we'd be dead after that 100 yeah but who cares so for 48
00:02:09
hours it would be fun the first 24 civil the last 24
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insane that would be our 48 hours of the film i would stick dynamites in your butthole am i nick nolte in this scenario in what
00:02:22
movie in 48 hours oh yeah yeah isn't it nick nolte i think no it is not mcnulty who else is in favor murphy teddy murphy
00:02:28
yeah yeah my name is i'm eddie murphy you gotta be thank you do your best eddie impression right now
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that's that was my eddie murphy laugh how is that let's do it again
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i don't even know what give me eddie murphy's laugh i want to see if i can do it
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oh that's it yeah yeah that mine was [ __ ] do you ready murphy laugh
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pretty good pretty good pretty good actually it's either something like eddie murphy or she was being choked by uh
00:03:00
by pygmy by the way you've never seen this movie have you 48 hours no there's no way it's a great [ __ ] great movie
00:03:05
yeah look at how young eddie looks right there and and nick nolte is the same age and he looks a hundred yeah they they're really they're not
00:03:12
that far in age i don't think when he did that movie when he talks i hear a thousand people who
00:03:17
there's like a thousand voices coming out of one voice yeah like it's one of those voices where you record and you play it backwards
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there's other messages and you hear ghosts in the background yeah yeah that thing
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and then yeah that was a good movie hey what did you do for turkey day
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hey man what's up good to see you what did you do for thanksgiving i love it did you get my invite
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i invited you guys to come to my thanksgiving in chicago yeah yeah i got it you didn't want to come
00:03:45
was i there no there you go all right but i i looked at your cute family on the zoom no i know we called
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you on the zoom we're waiting your mom is attractive yeah
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and um she's a babe she really is i know and look at me for a second i'll be honest with you
00:04:06
and don't get angry i'm about to i can feel it but i just want to be honest with you because you're my friend
00:04:11
i want you to be honest yeah i for splitting i would give her penetration eyes oh you tried no just
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penetration eyes do it one of those to the camera so they can see
00:04:22
wow dude and she was like i saw goosebumps on her face she choked on water yeah for some reason she was
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goosebumps on her face and then she i think did a mini climax what really yeah i was right there i know wow yeah
00:04:36
you did it but she's pretty hot she's a babe i got a babe for a mom yeah it was nice it was
00:04:42
that's enough why we're an attractive family and and why can't as a man you're an
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address you're not an american citizen i am let me show you i have a card show me your i don't know where it is i have a
00:04:54
file cabinet system i'll find it but my point is is that yeah i just want to say that your family thanks
00:05:01
when i saw them don't ever zoom again because i nutted so fast first of all we didn't zoom what was that
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dad all right sorry you got your name real good family it was not it was so nice that you entered everyone was
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excited to see you yeah actually no you said something you go mom say
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something to bob i said say hi to bob and i go ha and then you hung up i did
00:05:24
at the end that's a funny trick it was a good bit it's a good bit it works because you thought i might have called back because
00:05:29
when you do that bit right you hang up and i do that moment where i go yeah you sit and say
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you know who i didn't call yeah you don't have a number yeah i do oh you do yeah but we don't but i text
00:05:40
her and the texts are very blane the bland there are you okay are you guys coming tonight i also propose to her i go is magic
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mountain open and she's like i don't know and i go because she's afraid to ride i think we should do a bad friend's matching mountain trip i would love to
00:05:54
but isn't it closed during this winter or no is it closed look it up is magic mountain still open
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i'm i am you don't want to do it i just hate it but we'll go as a family will that feel better can i just do one ride
00:06:06
no you can't go all the way there for and buy a ticket for one can go all the way there 20 minutes
00:06:13
12 minutes up the freeway it's open 365 days a year according to la times wow wow let's go let's go
00:06:21
come on we'll take a little family trip it'll be like an end of the year celebration but the big but the thing we have to do
00:06:26
is we have to eat as much as we can before we go to see who throws up on the ride first yeah that's so fun yeah will you do that i'll vomit that's the point
00:06:34
i almost went to the hospital because there's a um next to the magic mountain there's a
00:06:40
water slide place oh yeah that's raging water raging water is attached to it and there's a river
00:06:46
right uh uh lazy river there's a lazy river that surrounds the whole [ __ ] thing right it's a bunch of kids yeah
00:06:53
just [ __ ] themselves and i remember being on a look floaty right
00:06:59
and just so thirsty just drinking the water no oh yeah yeah no yeah and the next thing i know it's like i was in a
00:07:05
back of a [ __ ] my buddy's um minivan and i'm going through shake i'm [ __ ]
00:07:11
myself it was [ __ ] i almost died you had dysenterys probably is that what your insides
00:07:19
because there's a danger there because we could die yeah an element of danger is what we need and also i think on one of the rides you don't pull the thing
00:07:26
all the way down so you might slip out that makes it fun that makes it fun everyone should do that at least once don't don't you know what because you
00:07:31
know when it goes over the heads click click click yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah don't do the last click don't do the last one yeah because the last click holds you in right you got to leave some
00:07:38
space yeah just a little bit just in case so you do one of these it's fun to slide almost out and when
00:07:44
you're backwards dude it's like you don't want the [ __ ] thing to be holding you in nope you want your own
00:07:49
strength to be holding you in yeah to see if you can really use your own muscles right and if you slip
00:07:55
you happen to die you happen to die and you make the paper don't you want to be the paper no because you're not
00:08:01
athletic you're not going to be able to get like a gold medal on something and be in the paper if i die i'll just haunt you both
00:08:08
she said that too you said that in the car as well you said you would haunt us when when you die yeah and i go and i go
00:08:14
she go i go what are you going to do she goes i'm going to kill you and i go i go name me one person in your personal
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life right i asked her to work two questions maybe one person your personal life that you know that was killed by a ghost
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i can't then i the second question is name me anybody from the history of this planet that's
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never been killed by a ghost i'll be the first oh she wants to be the first she wants to be the first how can you kill
00:08:38
us from from the beyond do you have a strategy have you thought about that you have a weak spirit
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do you know that think how much rest your spirit's gonna need to kill us you're gonna be sleeping in the afterlife yeah hammersmith ghost
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murder case oh [ __ ] it is real oh [ __ ] i didn't know it was real wait go back to the other page how funny is
00:08:55
this the other headline right but my husband died and now his ghost wants anal
00:09:01
that that i believe i agree yeah yeah if you show stuff in our butts then i think that'd be funny don't kill
00:09:06
us but if you if we wake up with hot dog in our butt because i i believe when you're in heaven christian rules still
00:09:12
apply you got to be good up there don't you think chris i bet if christian's rules apply here on earth in heaven it
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does of course so we can't just free nilly you know what i mean be flying around as an angel with my dick hanging
00:09:25
out i mean you of all angels could get away with that you would get a laugh it would get a lot of me flying by people's clouds i'm
00:09:32
thinking about the guy playing the harp just like right you fly by with your penis out i know but then the next you know i'm
00:09:38
on the side now to him i'm doing a little like gyration oh and your penis is playing they don't like it yeah yeah they don't like it they'll
00:09:44
bail yeah but i mean look go to the hammersmith case i want to see that that looked real was that
00:09:49
no look it's a ghost murder case oh this one 1804 oh [ __ ] set a legal
00:09:54
press in the uk regarding self-defense if someone that could be held liable for their actions even there are the consequences of mistaken belief
00:10:00
uh okay ghost from november a number of people in the hammersmith area claim to have seen and attacked by a ghost
00:10:07
local people said the ghost of a man who committed suicide the previous year and had been buried at the hammersmith churchyard oh
00:10:12
it's nothing this is real on december 29th william girdler a night watchman saw the ghost
00:10:20
while near beaver lane of all places and gave it a chase he was chasing beaver in the middle of
00:10:26
the battle i love beaver lane everyone's chasing beaver in the middle you've been to beaver lane right a bunch of times dude me and my friends in high school we
00:10:33
used to go to it was in england yeah people in england england we would travel to england to be very late right
00:10:38
and it has to be at a certain hour then i would bring my like utensils your fork fork knives
00:10:44
when i'm eating beaver when i'm eating beaver i do have to have a fork and a knife do you have no i put a napkin yeah
00:10:50
i do all the utensils in the right area you know i mean the right you know how there's two knives one's for salad two
00:10:55
forks you mean two forks i mean salad fork around i do the whole thing you have a soup spoon too yeah of course of
00:11:01
course you have all the cookies there's liquid i understand the beaver well how do you like your beaver cooked how do you like that yeah raw yeah no cook i'm
00:11:08
medium well oh you like the edges a little darker
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yeah yeah a little crispy yeah well look at he gave me well the crispy this could be the discharge who knows
00:11:20
yeah because when discharge dries i don't know how they're going to get the i don't know how they cook the beaver i tell you you've been cooking beaver yeah
00:11:29
you get a butt beaver right yeah that's a little dischargey yeah right
00:11:34
you [ __ ] fried fries we did such a good metaphor for a second
00:11:40
right into it i know you fry a beaver though what do you do you do pan fry it or deep fry you man oh okay right you
00:11:46
don't want to put too much grease too much oil is bad no because the the vag
00:11:51
the beef that's right the bee right has moisture in it already of course it does so you
00:11:56
use its natural moisture as the [ __ ] sizzling oh as the frying element oh
00:12:02
it's there's fat in there imagine you're cooking up some beaver and you get a pop right in your eyes a little pop terrible
00:12:07
that's a sizzling queef that's what they call them sizzling queefs the sizzy queefs yeah cause the
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air bubble mm-hmm when it's fried it
00:12:19
fries it right in your physique yeah you got yourself a sizzling queef there dude yeah yeah look
00:12:25
this guy he chased he chased it what the [ __ ] are we talking about london didn't have an organized police at the time you
00:12:30
go back to this so gilder i want to find out the death who gives a [ __ ] about this because thomas millwood
00:12:36
died all right you're gonna love the second part at the corner of beaver lane at the corner of beaver lane yeah while
00:12:42
making rounds around 10 30 and january 3rd 1804 gilder met one of the armed citizens patrolling the area
00:12:47
they had a shotgun and guess what what after hearing this him and the neighbor john locke on the corner
00:12:53
that he was agitated he ended up being de he found himself foaming at the mouth filled with beaver
00:13:00
juice on beaver lane it's his beaver juice on there beaver can't read that go down he can't read it that's why i have to make
00:13:06
up that stuff yeah yeah okay look he died okay this guy died at the hands of a gunshot from a ghost
00:13:12
on beaver lane so a gun a ghost killed him with his own picked up a [ __ ] real gun examine it pronounced to be
00:13:18
dead the gunshot wound on the left side is lower jaw with a small shot about a number a size number four of which had had
00:13:24
penetrated the vertebrae of the neck and injured the spinal marrow he got shot by a ghost
00:13:30
with his own gun that's crazy on beaver lane it's insane you don't buy this do you believe this
00:13:36
yeah she does you buy it of course because this [ __ ] happens in the cebu all the time probably maybe so if the
00:13:42
ghost can hold a gun i can hold a knife yeah that is very true nice point
00:13:47
that's an interesting and i'm really a little nervous so now we're getting to a point where i believe you now i know if you can hold a gun you can hold the
00:13:54
knife but it depends on how strong the ghost was when it was alive when the human you know you might have to have extra
00:14:01
extra strength to be able to hold something heavy in the afterlife well maybe it's based on hatred
00:14:08
it's based on age that is very true yeah what level of hatred do you have for us if i die yeah yeah a hundred
00:14:15
because theoretically if you can hold a gun as a ghost you can hold a knife as it
00:14:20
goes you can hold also then hold your own penis then do you have penises when you're ghost do
00:14:26
ghosts have penises i do you have a ghost i'm gonna ask for it do you think and if the normal life you don't get a
00:14:31
big penis in the afterlife you do get one and vice versa i hope there's a store the comedy store no like there's like
00:14:37
penis store in here oh a peanut shop where i wanted to like re-buy i want to like re yeah i mean
00:14:42
what i didn't get in the first the first pass yeah like bobby on earth we didn't bless you but up here you're getting
00:14:48
blessed oh i'll get i'm gonna if i had was there a store i'll have channing tatum's um torso please oh you get to
00:14:54
pick all of your whole body you get to pick your parts i'll have [ __ ] gwyneth paltrow's eyes oh right tatum's
00:15:00
body paltrow eyes yeah harry styles lips beautiful you would like that right beautiful lips yeah yeah i would have um
00:15:07
the penis idris alba but we don't know what it looks like bud i don't care okay
00:15:12
because i'll just tell people it's his dick it's idris elba's dick yeah right no matter what it looks like it's a celebrity
00:15:19
[Laughter] he's a good actor you know i mean who's butt oh but j-lo j-lo's butt yeah but
00:15:26
butthole's different who's butthole justin martindale
00:15:33
i like it loose loose goose loose i like my butthole loose
00:15:38
yeah so you can do didgeridoo in my butthole wow
00:15:44
okay you pick your body parts in the afterlife what are you doing you walk into the store somebody says okay welcome to the
00:15:50
afterlife store pick your parts i want to be kendall jenner
00:15:55
that all her parts you just want to be her we went down the list maybe maybe with a bigger butt
00:16:01
like you just want to be kendall jenner in the afterlife yeah big butt why don't you go to the animal
00:16:06
department that's what i do i would go to the human everything kendall right kendall jenner you said yeah right then
00:16:13
go to the animal department go give me the rhino butt rhino butt yeah he has a big gray ass i want her i want kim
00:16:19
kardashian's butt i want that black guy that sent around that meme that black guy with the with a
00:16:24
long penis you know that meme that always gets sent around oh with the big the big the big oh that guy is that guy
00:16:30
that died you want his i want his penis i want kim kardashian's butt i want
00:16:36
i want uh whose face do i want magic whose eyes do i want al you know who i want alexandra
00:16:43
to dario's eyes have you seen her eyes yeah but like piercing blue pretty good and then whose hair do i who's long
00:16:50
flowy i oh uh what's his name what's the old sex romance novelist
00:16:55
what was the old roman fabio and fabio's long beautiful hair wow i
00:17:01
want to be fabio with a big butt fabio with a big button a big black penis also blue eyes can i i want to throw i
00:17:07
want freddy krueger armor you want one crazy hand yeah yeah i want one freddie i mean we
00:17:13
can go any way it's a heaven yeah you can have any you couldn't have anything you want you get to change or once you pick you're in you
00:17:20
have props as well i'll have a harp oh you're carrying around a heart all day that's heavy
00:17:25
freddy cougar hand and a heart but every time
00:17:30
yeah you
00:17:40
do you have any props in the afterlife kendall i want kendall jewels uh taco
00:17:48
taco so even when you eat it another one just appears well then you're making the assumption that mexicans go to heaven
00:17:57
i don't i don't think they do i don't know i just want their food do you think there's a border wall in
00:18:02
heaven as well that they have to get over so wait you want a taco that just it's a
00:18:09
uh it's a continual taco every time you get you it comes back in one hand what's in the other hand just my hand so i can
00:18:15
you need a regular hand this guy didn't plan he wants a harp and a and a [ __ ] in knives bro the harp isn't attached to
00:18:21
the hand and yet it is yep it's not an extension of the hand it's something i'm holding no yes it is though
00:18:27
oh i made an extension so it's constantly you have to and think about that constantly just breaking the
00:18:34
good luck touching your penis with a hard panda or knives i [ __ ] it up yeah that's it i [ __ ] it up how about no prop i think you got to keep it no
00:18:41
freddy krueger all right all right thank you that's right i have a regular ready i have one regular thank you we all need one
00:18:47
regular yeah yeah i want one that's a remember in beetlejuice when uh he turns into that big thing and he's got those
00:18:53
two hammers i want one of those big sledgehammers like from the carnival ride that bing you know that thing oh
00:18:58
yeah you want one of those i want one of those so if anybody makes me mad you know i can just i can [ __ ] i can kill
00:19:03
him right there one free hand and then that hammer hand that's one of my favorite scenes when he does that that's what i want a hammer hand who's that
00:19:10
that's fred when freddie when beetlejuice becomes that guy look at those big beautiful hammers
00:19:16
don't you want one one weapon doordash andy andrew i know you're my
00:19:22
friend when i go to hawaii i only use door dash when i go on the road i only use door
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dash it's the most reliable delivery service out there they're friendly they have more options than any of the other
00:19:35
ones that's how i feel and i feel like um the customer service is at the top of the line well look you don't even have
00:19:40
to get groceries anymore from them or food you can also get deodorant or something from the store they got all of that stuff you can get with doordash
00:19:47
whenever you want it i got honestly i went to doordash the other day and i got foot lotion you mean you had door dash
00:19:52
deliver you foot lotion yes no really and it felt so good on my foot the poor guy that had to go get you foot lotion
00:19:58
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00:20:47
change terms apply babel learning a new language i feel so good
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00:21:48
i'm still stuck on this idea that you'd kill us i feel like we've been so nice to you all these yeah i said if i die
00:21:54
because of you i'll kill you how would we kill you how would we let you die oh you mean at the roller coasters but
00:21:59
that's kind of your fault not really ours no because i said i don't want to go all right we'd make you go
00:22:05
but i guess you swim with sharks yeah that's way more dangerous
00:22:10
i'm still scared of the rides oh they don't have those kind of things in the philippines you don't have life is a
00:22:17
roller coaster in the philippines yeah that's scary on a regular bus right you could die when you take is that when
00:22:22
they're city buses is it scary when you just take a yeah it is yeah are there like do people like you know you see
00:22:27
those videos on the internet there's a guy just pull his penis out and he just jerks off on the bus and they have to like let him never seen that before i haven't seen that see
00:22:34
where dude this happens all the time in person and they can you can't say no people just like let it happen wait wait
00:22:39
i'm on a bus minding my own business i have to go to cvs yeah
00:22:44
i need a destination when i'm doing scenarios i get it no i totally get it so what am i getting i'm getting too faced for sure no
00:22:51
[ __ ] no you're out all right i need one of those like um just pick it up will ya
00:22:58
no okay i will not what do you need i need a chest like one of those like um um menthol chest grubs oh oh uh vapor
00:23:06
rub exactly got it right i get it are you sick no i just like them oh you just wanted to i like the sensation on my
00:23:12
chest will you give me some epsom salt while you're there the lavender one the big bag you like epson love epsom salt
00:23:18
dude i do i not love epsom salt it's my favorite it's my do you ever use it i
00:23:23
have bacon oh my god i use it for my foot you suck your soak your feet in it no
00:23:28
what no what do you do forget it bob it's not a thing well you're gonna you're gonna go now okay so
00:23:36
you know how you my legendary left foot [Music] you know about it yeah i think everybody
00:23:42
on earth knows about it so about three months ago kala was awoken by it
00:23:49
they had a mind of its own at walker no it didn't go wake up it doesn't no it doesn't do that i was scratching it
00:23:57
late at night with your hand or your other foot i do both because i rub my feetsies together sometimes no use my hand
00:24:04
and what i used to do is so gross but um i used to peel the skin off of it
00:24:11
yeah yeah oh yeah yeah um i ate two hours before the show knowing that this might something like yeah and when she
00:24:18
was just like she looked at me in the night she's like that's really gross right and i go yeah i think i'm done
00:24:26
so i stopped doing it my foot is almost healed really yeah you finally don't have any
00:24:32
scabbing or anything anymore there's no more itch wow and i've been using epsom salt and
00:24:37
that's been helping yes wait how did you you soak it right you just no i just i take the crystals right the epsoms right
00:24:44
and if i have in between the toes an itchy feeling like a little red bump with some itchiness
00:24:50
i take [ __ ] epsom salt right and i put it on that little red you know thing on the skin
00:24:56
and start rubbing it until it bleeds wait that's not a good idea yeah i do why would you do that because it feels
00:25:02
so [ __ ] good until it bleeds yeah and i need once i scrub it it feels so and then it
00:25:08
gets numb almost yeah and then the feeling goes away and that's helping feels great i
00:25:13
don't know if that's in the direction it feels good though what is look up epsom salt i definitely don't think you're supposed to do that
00:25:19
i think you suppose just put it in hot water let it soak and i don't know what it means by the way what is epsom go to
00:25:24
like what it is go to like wikipedia what it is salt no you don't know it's a special kind of salt it's deep sea man is it
00:25:31
just deep sea deep sea it's magnesium sulfate from the deep but what is so special about it
00:25:38
i don't know oh it's mgso4 that's what it is the mg4 mgs that makes what attacks the fungi i
00:25:44
can't believe you don't use it it feels so good at night you guys you have a bath don't you have a bathtub
00:25:49
what do you use it for i mean she doesn't listen you don't listen to you we've talked for five
00:25:55
minutes i just listened to bobby rubbing it on his foot yeah you can do that
00:26:02
and you can fill up a bathtub and turn up hot water and do that you can also smoke it some people smoke it
00:26:08
you never smoked bath salts you've never heard of this oh you gotta smoke it you gotta smoke it or snort it that's also
00:26:13
fun but you gotta crush it up a little bit crush it up a little bit have you tried it oh yeah she wants something
00:26:19
yeah i get hungry for flesh i've eaten i've eaten a guy's whole face have you ever known this people eat faces people there's a guy that ate a
00:26:25
guy in florida on bath salts do you know that you've never heard of this we used to do it andrew and i used to go to florida
00:26:31
although i mean [ __ ] bath salts tampa baby look it up bath salts don't believe us basalt guy eats man's face yeah
00:26:38
you know you've never heard of this at all no it's like it used to be a vacation thing to do in the 90s
00:26:44
yeah face eating attack prompted by bath salts it's crazy to think that that's what
00:26:50
causes people to have you ever been on any drug that made you want to get violent towards somebody else bob no
00:26:55
never i've taken a lot of drugs over the years i've never had one that made me even think about harming somebody
00:27:02
yeah i've never done that you know actually you know the only thing that does make me think that way is boost and that's the most legal yeah booze is the
00:27:08
only time i've ever been in a fist fight or an aggressive argument i've never been on drugs and gotten aggressive with somebody well in my times before when i
00:27:15
was loading stuff i like to go cheek to cheek with people i like touching cheeks with people i
00:27:22
thought you meant butt to butt no i don't know facial but that's sweet and soft yeah and i like to whisper sweet
00:27:27
nothings in there what would you say my highs are great
00:27:33
hi all right and they go hi right who are you
00:27:38
because i'm at a bar and you go right so somebody's sitting behind in a bar order the drink i'm behind
00:27:45
put my arms around them stick my mouth by the ear hey baby what's up there's a guy yeah
00:27:51
whatever okay right and they go what the [ __ ] bro stop touching me like that don't touch me dog yeah yeah i got you i
00:27:57
always go you want to wrestle did you wrestle people what would you wrestle people in the bar oh yeah just i
00:28:04
just you just start going in the bar dude when you on i was on the wrestling team and if you whisper things in their
00:28:10
ear mm-hmm it you have the advantage because they feel like they're inferior i was on acid once i was in that wrestling tournament and i i was
00:28:16
touching this guy's body i was on top yeah and i whisper in his ear i go your body feels so weird
00:28:23
right and he goes what and i remember being able to like pin him because he wanted to get it over with because he
00:28:29
was so scared and weirded out yeah yeah did you guys ever grab be honest because i know nothing about wrestling did you ever grab each other's penis is that a
00:28:35
thing that happens do you use it
00:28:40
i let me tell you why i asked i've been on top of a guy yeah are you wearing singlets i know i've seen them yeah
00:28:47
right and i've been on top of a guy and i've had their wrists like this right this is my bedroom
00:28:53
this isn't an arrest you have a wrestling man yeah yeah but i wear sunglasses no but when you do this and you're
00:28:58
in your singlet because you're not wearing an underwear so i've pressed my genitals with their genitals through the
00:29:04
singlets before to feel good yeah pretty good pretty good it does yeah any organ
00:29:12
against your organ anything it feels good foot arm yeah do you were at the club last night
00:29:18
yeah i went had dinner across the street at that penduly hotel was it good holy [ __ ] it was amazing
00:29:24
would you go with your friends friends no friends a bunch of friends actually you know what i was going to say to you
00:29:29
i don't want to bring that down but do you did you know matt billin that passed away i knew him that's so sad
00:29:36
yeah death and comedy is um common yeah because we're human beings and we all
00:29:41
die no but i feel like there's a lot of death in comedy i think we lose people all the time yeah it's super sad
00:29:48
but he was a really good kid and also somebody told me somebody told me today you can google this another guy a cop
00:29:55
matt price may be his name he was a comic and a magician i know matt price well he's gone
00:30:01
not matt price skippy from no this is another guy that's mark price
00:30:07
mark price yeah yeah look at this matthew price was a 27 year old magician comedian from lehigh acres he was gunned
00:30:12
down on sunday in l.a dude he was going to a convenience store and got shot there's no motive he was killed robbed
00:30:19
and killed what the [ __ ] is going on is that crazy i don't i didn't know this
00:30:24
man but someone else told me about it today and i was like what the [ __ ] is going on by the way if you're gonna rob me just
00:30:30
take my [ __ ] don't kill me just take all my stuff
00:30:36
yeah why kill if you're gonna rob me just rob me i think when chaos and stuff like that is happening i feel like do
00:30:41
you have a good street sense but yeah yeah i feel like my street sense is okay i have very good street
00:30:48
sense i mean but also you don't know where you are sometimes in the sense part of my street sense no
00:30:54
no but i'm just saying you don't know what's going on sometimes and what you're saying that i don't you're saying that i don't know if chaos is
00:31:00
going on no no if i'm in a [ __ ] grocery store and some and three guys come in with machine guns i wouldn't
00:31:06
know what to do i feel like it's less blat i feel like if people came in and started something not with machine guns
00:31:13
but started some kind of like hostage robbery thing i don't think you'd know what to do that's so what's your first move
00:31:20
pretend i'm dead there you go that's a good one you don't want to help
00:31:25
well we'll help who are you going to help first you got to you got to assess the situation i'm buying oatmeal
00:31:32
why because i love oatmeal but what kind i like um irish
00:31:37
oh irish oats yeah i like steel cut oats i love steel cut thank you you're supporting very good stuff supporting my
00:31:43
people so i'm in the [ __ ] i i i'm getting irish oatmeal right
00:31:48
and i hear what no guns you're saying no guns but they come and you start hearing rumblings like i think right i think
00:31:53
these guys are tying people up meat as well i lay on my belly i throw in all the irish oats i can find
00:32:00
you on top of me okay right so i'm just like ah right so i can create like a pile a mound of irish oats of irish oats
00:32:07
right right and then i'll stick one arm on right and hopefully there's ketchup around
00:32:12
oh yeah that's part of my plan is that in the same island i don't know i don't either ketchup and oats are in the same island i would
00:32:18
crawl you i would crawl through the ketchup tomato ketchup aisle to go to the ketchup box
00:32:23
yeah but i would still hold some of the irish oats oats on my body goddess what's the
00:32:28
camouflage got it so i'll be just crawling with a bunch of like irish look at that round irish oat shark
00:32:35
right that's right get to the ketchup i stick one and i would just pour ketchup on my and then lay there and lay that and do
00:32:41
convulsions so you're not dead yeah even though they don't have guns they're probably thinking to themselves why is
00:32:47
that guy acting like that doing well you're crazy just yeah i'm just imagine with ketchup
00:32:53
oh it's on my body right jake and they're just go what is it they'd probably hire you they'd be like you want to be on our team this guy's out of
00:32:58
his [ __ ] mind that's my job yeah you then then that's the best job well let me tell you something if guys came
00:33:04
in and they took people hostage but they saw that you were crazy or they liked you and they they're like bobby bobby
00:33:09
lee and like hey man look we're either gonna kill everyone in here and take them hostage or you're gonna be on our team
00:33:15
you're gonna start killing people with them i would oh what a scenario this is a good scenario what i would do is i would
00:33:22
pretend pretend you're going to kill people yeah i would go through the motions but not really but the big dog
00:33:27
is like i want to see him do it to make sure we can trust him so they're holding a woman down like an 80 year old woman down she's 96. what kind of weapon do
00:33:33
they give me a club a billy club oh [ __ ] that's hard you gotta beat him you can't stab him or shoot him you gotta beat
00:33:39
this i would do a six i would do it i would do this check this out and i'm the 96-year-old woman right i learned this i
00:33:44
learned this in um i learned this in like wrestling like pro wrestling right so i would go i would
00:33:50
stomp your foot [Laughter]
00:34:01
but what's really happening is she's going what are you doing why are you doing that see she wouldn't
00:34:06
move oh she's not because she's not getting hurt she doesn't know then i whisper just play in a bed and she goes i got it
00:34:13
all right okay right and then what do i have in this hand what is in that hand
00:34:18
catch
00:34:26
i'm bleeding and now i'm dying right right okay so then they believe you i guess that makes perfect sense thank you
00:34:31
if you if these people came into the grocery store rudy and they said you got to be on our team and kill people or we're going to kill you what are you
00:34:37
going to do with me no no you're alone you're alone
00:34:43
why you're alone in the grocery store how about this how about you're in the ketchup aisle yeah all right i'm
00:34:50
in the [ __ ] irish outside right we both have to get the same thing right so both our bodies at one point we're
00:34:57
crawling by each other just two just two snakes on the ground we're gross
00:35:03
she's already got ketchup on her body and i go where are you going i'm going to the irish
00:35:11
echo why can't you use the the prince [ __ ] bob why do you have to get the irish oh like i need the irish boxing no
00:35:17
but it helps find other boxes yeah that'd be crazy so if he's with you you're gonna if he's saying let's say
00:35:24
you're alone would you start killing people for the hostage people these are these are criminals man these
00:35:30
are bad guys yeah maybe i'll just kill one you would kill one person to stay in the cr in the
00:35:36
crew yeah but what if you liked it and they were like isn't it fun and you're like kinda then i'll stick with
00:35:42
them you'll stick around how easy would she be in a gang she'd be so good in a gang because she's a yes person she's down
00:35:49
she'll just do it she's just down to do it yeah could you be in a gang
00:35:55
no i think the perks would be amazing i couldn't do it i couldn't kill anybody what if you don't need to kill what if
00:36:00
you just need a i'll be a runner like a mute drug mule yeah like you have to put all this coke
00:36:07
in your butt and fly to yeah i would do that would you do that yeah how much coke that's like a pound
00:36:13
and a half of coke in my butt mm-hmm is that doable well how much what's the most amount of
00:36:19
coke someone swallowed in balloons have you ever seen people swallow balloons well heroin for prisons and stuff i've
00:36:24
seen that but or coke people used to swallow balloons of coke they did and then they'd have to far they have to poop them out when they get to where
00:36:29
they're going yeah what happens if it doesn't come out you'd be scared well if one breaks
00:36:34
you're dead right if one breaks it's over you're dead but if i'm if i eat a bunch of cocaine that's in a balloon yeah it
00:36:41
doesn't dissolve in my belly a man swallowed nearly three pounds of cocaine and 148 pellets investigators say errol
00:36:48
simpson 41 of jamaica swallowed 148 pellets containing cocaine that weighed nearly three pounds three [ __ ] pounds
00:36:54
of cocaine were in his body he was arrested earlier this month at fort lauderdale hollywood international airport wow oh my god that guy's a champ
00:37:00
he's a yeah three pounds of cocaine that's a lot of money right i mean how
00:37:06
much is that worth i don't know i'm not good at how much is three pounds of cocaine worth i mean that's just uh well let's take a
00:37:12
guess three pounds pounds what's a pound
00:37:18
let me just weigh it with my hand there it is that looks that's a pound
00:37:23
this is worth twelve thousand dollars a pound of cocaine
00:37:28
is worth twelve grand i don't know i've i've never bought coconuts me neither i know that's why this is a good experiment i would say it's
00:37:35
well i would say it's over a hundred thousand dollars i would say yeah one pound oh no i'm thinking about
00:37:41
what he did oh oh one pound i bet you one pound is like 70. how much is a pound of milk 70 grams cocaine
00:37:47
do one pound do one pound of cocaine worth i say 70 grand what does rudy say
00:37:53
um 15 15 g's 12 g's 15 i say 75 okay all
00:37:59
right street prices on cocaine cocaine retail that's so funny
00:38:06
what the [ __ ] is going on here who did that let's just go to reddit reddit always knows
00:38:14
12 prices range from 12 g's to 35 gs per kilo what's a kilo
00:38:20
2.2 pounds 2.2 pounds oh so so i was closest
00:38:25
yeah but look but then it says however the price of kilogram cooking rain from
00:38:31
man this is tough i haven't done cocaine since high school so if i did one pound of cocaine right now would i
00:38:37
die pretty sure the average amount of cocaine that someone can do can't be close to a pound the most
00:38:44
cocaine what's the most cocaine somebody can do in one sitting have you ever done cocaine rudy have you ever been offered cocaine don't
00:38:50
ever do it don't ever do it because of fentanyl you can't do it no it's so bad it's so bad have you ever been offered cocaine at a party no one's ever said
00:38:57
hey do you want a bump or do you want to go skiing or no no one use code's words on you no hey brownie you ever seen
00:39:02
white oxycontin you can you can do oxygen yeah okay yeah that's insane that we're approving her to do
00:39:08
action but marijuana is okay for you to use we're okay with that yeah but nothing
00:39:14
else or ketamine ketamine we're okay with what is ketamine again special k yeah
00:39:21
you never did that no when you were using i did i did um what's up um
00:39:29
not molly but the other one ecstasy this is kind of the same thing is it kind of mdma is like the purest form of ecstasy
00:39:36
yeah i when i did ecstasy once i started masturbating in public just outside yeah at the bellagio
00:39:43
in vegas yeah what the [ __ ] and then ike baron holds had to drag me to my hotel room by my hair and just
00:39:50
watch you jerk off no he just dragged me through the [ __ ] hotel to get me into my [ __ ] hotel room
00:39:55
wait were you doing like a mad promo there yeah no we used to go to uh vegas a lot you know after like a season rap or we
00:40:02
just i'll go yeah right and take a trip gamble oh yeah you did
00:40:08
what did you play dude can i tell you the worst so i want i'm so mad at adam or adam did i don't ever tell you the
00:40:14
story adam egan no adam ray oh no what happened so he opens for me in fort lauderdale
00:40:21
and there's a casino there right and um i'm just [ __ ] around now i don't have my id
00:40:28
why i just didn't have it all right right um i had an expired driver's license
00:40:35
so i'm sitting there and i'm just [ __ ] around between shows and whatever and then i click the thing
00:40:40
and all the bells and whistles go off like on a slot machine yeah
00:40:47
things are [ __ ] you know and now i'm going what the [ __ ] i don't have my id because they're coming now
00:40:53
right so i'm texting adam ray going get over here right now because i don't have my id they're not gonna give
00:40:58
me the money so you have to come here and pretend that you won this right to claim the money but he's chasing
00:41:06
girls hmm you know how they do that mm-hmm so the lady comes up to me she goes all right well congratulations you
00:41:12
made i think i won like 35 grand holy [ __ ] and she goes um id and i go i don't
00:41:17
have it she's like you can't get the money so you go what that's [ __ ] crazy i'm playing here at the [ __ ] casino yeah so i ended up going to like
00:41:25
some office or some like some chief oh the chief was there yeah he's like
00:41:32
you have to go hello bobby bobby you have to go i heard you la
00:41:37
grab your id fly back and then we'll give you the money really yeah did you do that no you
00:41:43
just left the 35 grand on the table i left the money what a [ __ ] bummer dude adam's fault
00:41:52
adam owes me 35 grand did you does he know about this does he know that he cost you 35 grand
00:41:59
you should call him and tell him i should ask him i can't believe that's insane that he [ __ ] that up for you
00:42:04
you [ __ ] it up for me and after was that the last time he ever opened for you yep it was well when you lose 35
00:42:09
grand from an opener you mean that awfully does something to the relationship you know man here we go adam ray let's
00:42:16
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00:45:07
see what ring he answers to he might not pick up huh there it is
00:45:14
adam you're on bad friends right now what's up guys
00:45:21
you got me uh you caught me uh halfway through a uh a dinner where uh my stepdad was
00:45:26
pitching me a movie about uh guys who have benjamin buttons disease in space
00:45:33
that's a great [ __ ] movie how high are you guys yeah are you guys high uh i'm on a little bit of an edible i'm
00:45:40
at a family dinner at my um my folks place and uh yeah it's a lot right now it's a lot my
00:45:46
mom literally told me uh if i wanted some of the juice in the bowl of mushrooms on my rice
00:45:52
that i could reach for it and put it on my [ __ ] rice can you guys uh buy me a
00:45:58
ticket back to l.a i'm literally you caught me fired up
00:46:04
baby all right adam i called you for a specific incident that you and i had do you remember when you opened for me in fort lauderdale
00:46:11
oh yeah and i was um yeah i'll take it from here bobby we were in
00:46:17
we were in fort lauderdale jealous santino yeah you're going to dania soon yeah i'm going to be there
00:46:23
all right let's plug those dates real quick i've already been there when this comes out great great great man you had so much
00:46:28
fun so fun dude i loved it i loved it get to the story so bobby and i are uh we're doing the
00:46:35
fort lauderdale improv it's awesome there's as you know a hard rock like vegas style strip of restaurants and
00:46:41
nightclubs you see a lot of guys named brandon looking to fight guys named tyler
00:46:46
uh we went to we went to maggiano's and got all the food it was where i learned truly bobby and
00:46:53
you know i'll go on record saying this best guy that i have been on the road with you
00:46:59
[ __ ] just was like we're going to eat this is a thing we're doing i'm buying everything on the menu take a couple
00:47:05
bites take it with you take it to the green room give it to a bum give it to a girl who's trying to hook up with a bum
00:47:11
yeah and just let's just spread the wealth and we got everything so then we go to the shows we do the shows i meet a
00:47:17
girl there and um and i'm you know at this point feeling pretty
00:47:23
good andrew i did about 28 minutes of comedy four were great
00:47:29
and i'm now in the casino and um and uh like bobby i think i'm gonna go
00:47:34
hang out with this girl in the room bobby am i still telling the right story i guess we hope
00:47:41
okay and then bobby uh bobby was gambling uh as he does
00:47:48
uh but this was this time it was off stage
00:47:55
[Laughter] what they call in the gambler's world a
00:48:02
hot streak and uh and i think hit maybe i want to say maybe you won ten to
00:48:08
fifteen thousand dollars it was like thirty it's like 30 grand yeah that sounds way too high let's go
00:48:13
with let's go with 13. let's go let's do 20 grand
00:48:18
20. let's say let's let's let's let's come to terms on an even 19.5 all right 19. i made 19 000.
00:48:27
yeah go ahead go ahead yeah so you you uh you didn't have your id if uh memory serves me
00:48:35
yeah you're right and so uh and so he goes well i need my buddy my feature
00:48:41
my confidant my pal the guy i tried to get me to take extends from the gas station with late night dates i dangle
00:48:49
dates over his head and say hey if you don't eat these 32 oysters i know you hate seafood and texture then you can't
00:48:54
go into san jose phoenix in dallas it's just dangling a world in front of
00:49:00
me and uh and i'm up in the room and um and i'm trying to be
00:49:06
um you know just a guy living in his life i lost 20 grand
00:49:12
yeah so bobby uh bobby didn't have his id he wanted me to come down and pretend i was the guy that won
00:49:18
and um why didn't you do it uh i received the phone call and bobby was furious wait you were hooking up that's
00:49:24
why you couldn't come down yeah oh buddy i was being a feature i was being a feature you know
00:49:31
well i hope that was 20 000 worth of [ __ ] because you really [ __ ] it up yeah it was i mean look is it something
00:49:37
that i think about every time i get a call live on a podcast yeah yeah
00:49:44
i do i do feel bad about it i'll tell you that much you know i'm a sensitive guy that definitely i uh i didn't care what happened after
00:49:51
uh to to you taking me on the road i felt real bad as a person and a friend yeah it's okay
00:49:57
it's okay all right adam thank you love you i love you buddy bye you know what i do i you know what i
00:50:03
read while i'm re-watching [ __ ] sopranos from from the start no just because i felt because it's
00:50:08
available on hbo now to download and i can download it on my ipad i forgot how [ __ ] good it's so good it's so
00:50:13
[ __ ] good i mean gandalfini is unfucking really he's i'm re-watching every episode from scratch i started
00:50:19
from season one again i want to do that with the wire as well someone else just said that to me but i liked the wire but but by the end i was
00:50:26
like yeah i kind of cut out i cut me out a little bit yeah but it was good all the way through look
00:50:33
dexter was great too dexter was great the thing about sopranos is because so much time has passed when was it first
00:50:39
on the air 2 thousand and uh eight is my guess but that pro that
00:50:44
sounds maybe wrong soprano but dude it was so long ago that when you see it 99
00:50:50
holy [ __ ] so just it looks you know it's not shot
00:50:55
as well as [ __ ] a shot today it's not there's so many things about it you're like wow if you shot this show today yeah it would be [ __ ] um it would be
00:51:02
unbelievable the greatest show that's ever existed yeah and it's already still one of my favorites but i watched i've
00:51:08
been watching this on the airplane and rick and morty i got into rick and morty it's pretty good it's so [ __ ] funny
00:51:15
inside job too pretty good inside jobs pretty good what's inside job
00:51:23
animation i'm on oh i did see you preview that i did you push that
00:51:28
i saw the first episode you did is it good
00:51:34
oh my buddy clark duke is on it yeah it's on netflix yeah is that you the
00:51:39
girl i'm the no good look at the no would you show me bobby lisa you'll be
00:51:45
able to tell if you get the group together it's a chubby little korean guy no that's you with the that's me that's
00:51:52
funny that's cute bob that that's cute
00:51:59
that side by side they did of you and that guy is wonderful what's the character's name dr andre yep
00:52:05
dr andre he's just a drug addict doctor love it yeah i love when they pitch that in the room they're like who'd be good
00:52:11
at this bobby drug addict asian because doctors are asian oh yeah bobby
00:52:18
yeah that's [ __ ] great that's you thank you good watch inside job what's that as
00:52:24
well you've never seen it i don't know what it is i heard it's good have you read any of the scripts
00:52:29
or just your lines the beginning i did yeah how many episodes 10 yeah 10.
00:52:35
that's awesome bob but it took years yeah it takes a [ __ ] long time i just finished it's weird it's like that you
00:52:40
get a call they go all right next week episode 112 116 and then you every year
00:52:46
you just you're going it's never going to come out yeah and then it does i just finished one called royal crackers that
00:52:52
will come out at the end of next year i think yeah animation takes [ __ ] forever it takes forever forever and
00:52:57
ever yeah but i mean i can't wait to see it i'm gonna watch it okay everybody watch no don't watch it it's netflix
00:53:05
[ __ ] they don't need your views do they listen anything that you're [ __ ] in
00:53:10
i'm gonna [ __ ] promote it all right all right i promoted something that i'm in right i threw it out there
00:53:16
and and you're doing this right now watch inside all right i'm saying you know you you pitch davey and your road
00:53:22
dates and what not i'm i'm [ __ ] pitching a [ __ ] animation show that i didn't even know what it is i know but
00:53:28
it's on okay but you should know what it is it's about conspiracy it's a government okay i'm a reporter from
00:53:33
variety oh my god bobby lee thank you for coming today tell us all about inside job
00:53:40
and your character on inside job it's a covert government agency right and we deal with conspiracy theories and this
00:53:46
and that this and that yep and that's what the show's about what was your favorite part of this all
00:53:51
right anyway um don't watch it don't watch it no watch don't watch inside job [ __ ] it let's let's move on please watch
00:53:57
inside job you [ __ ] [ __ ] suck on netflix [ __ ] you a place where neither bobby nor i have a special inside job
00:54:05
do you think we're gonna get one though i don't know i feel like we are do you think bad friends should have a special
00:54:10
on there for sure if nothing should i just do should we just do a bad friends special on netflix
00:54:16
yeah i'd be down you know that would help help what our emotional state i think we'll get another special after that one
00:54:22
or you think it depends on how good it is but i think that if you and i did
00:54:28
if we did a bad friend 35 minutes bad friends tour special we could we could put that on netflix
00:54:34
i don't know if people would want to see that but i don't know i think they would you do what do you rudy's are rudy what do you think i don't want to do it got
00:54:41
it [Laughter] i do love that i know we're going to make her do it you're
00:54:46
going to do it you don't have a choice what am i going to do you have what is sketches with do schedules do sketches
00:54:53
and you'll play characters you like wig play you don't like prosthetics
00:54:58
you don't like wig you don't like it you're not a big fan of wig play no oh we're gonna make you do it have you ever worn a wig
00:55:04
yeah she has on the show yeah one time no but i mean in your real life no never never you have you ever won a wig
00:55:11
in your real life transformed into somebody else
00:55:16
disappeared into a character i used to use the black spray what what what is that to hide the bald
00:55:23
spots black spray what's black spray there's a black spray like it's like spray paint yeah
00:55:28
really yeah it works you don't have bald spots what are you talking about it's thinning well it's every man every human anyway i
00:55:36
don't know what was it like you know i got kicked out of that hotel you did yeah why did you get kicked out of the
00:55:41
hotel you can say it i was smoking a cigarette out and there's only two rooms in the
00:55:48
balcony and i asked for that room so you could smoke so i can smoke cigarettes reasonable i'm out there having a
00:55:54
cigarette like i always do for years i've been doing this last couple years at this hotel [Music]
00:56:00
i hear a [ __ ] two stories up i'm smoking out there i look up and there's a head
00:56:06
coming down looking down hey this is a no smoking premises
00:56:12
i go what don't ruff i'll rat you out and i go
00:56:17
dude what the [ __ ] he's like yeah man i'm warning you so like
00:56:23
so i had to smoke in the room because i was afraid instead of taking a
00:56:29
walk outside no no no no it's five stories up so now i'm smoking in the room looking up to see if he's
00:56:34
there but meanwhile now this the hotel room smells you feel like that and i got a call
00:56:40
going you're banned from the hotel for for life did they charge you for the smoking in
00:56:46
the room i don't know i just got one call from a producer we gotta put you in a different hotel i
00:56:52
go uh sorry because you were smoking in the room who cares well you can't smoke inside this isn't
00:56:58
1986. dice does it guys open lit a cigarette at a gate at
00:57:05
lax and what and not recently no but many years ago yeah
00:57:10
exactly you can't do that anymore no you can't why i would love to go on a plane with you and have you light up a cigarette on an
00:57:16
airplane but you know they when you go through the security checkpoint you can't go through it with me
00:57:22
why because you get flagged every [ __ ] time no i would there's always
00:57:39
i know but this is what he was trying to get in my head because they're not the police and i go oh really yeah they don't really have any
00:57:45
rights and power right so i go what do i do he's like just give them the minimum amount
00:57:52
why made it make it hard i know but what i'm saying so what i purposely do is i um
00:57:59
sometimes when they i one time i put a pocket [ __ ] in there and made it wet
00:58:04
in your suitcase yeah so i put this wet pocket [ __ ] smart in my [ __ ] crew just so that they could have to take out
00:58:10
this wet thing sir yeah yeah and i'm like you know i mean i'm not embarrassed by it no so yeah
00:58:16
that's not that's not gonna explode that's sheila right so they'll do this and they'll put it back in and that's it
00:58:22
but but here's what i don't like after you go to the security checkpoint you give them the id and your [ __ ]
00:58:27
boarding pass right at that point don't ask me where i'm going uh yeah right so after i do that when
00:58:34
somebody goes wow so where you're going i always go it's none of your [ __ ] business that's where the problem was you're begging for trouble you're
00:58:39
begging from trouble you're kyle written and all right your way around the airport yeah exactly already taught me how to do that good example it's not a good thing no no
00:58:46
not the guy to follow not the good i got so every time i'm there right there's always a problem why do you just make it
00:58:52
why don't you just get the tsp and all that [ __ ] and go through do you not have clear i have clear yeah you don't have to
00:58:57
clean anybody you just boop boop and you walk right through yeah but sometimes clear the line is so low
00:59:02
that doing it is longer so i'll just go the regular way really let's watch this video all right let's
00:59:08
watch it yeah hell yeah
00:59:15
hell yeah load that clip little girl
00:59:21
oh my gosh oh my god she's so good with a gun it's unbelievable
00:59:28
all right set the bar at 11.80 with that one let me see what i can do well i'm
00:59:33
not rubbing that robbing that house that's insane how good that girl comes out of nowhere with those glasses on how
00:59:38
old is that kid 10. that's amazing how old are kids like that you're a girl how old is that girl
00:59:43
she looks like eight eight jesus christ and she's that good with a gun that's amazing
00:59:49
but scary i mean but but cool it's very cool if my daughter was that i'd be so cool yeah so i would she'd protect the
00:59:57
house yeah bring that put that in your backpack i go baby school when i hear a noise i'm like baby get your gun
01:00:05
i send my eight-year-old downstairs to investigate yeah have you ever shot a gun i have yeah um like a handgun or
01:00:12
anything bigger i've shot machine guns before and handguns love machine guns i love them it's so fun yeah i get it that
01:00:18
guns are bad but also have you done it yeah that's what i always want to say when somebody wasn't a human being it was i was shooting like a little bottle
01:00:24
oh mine was a bunch of human beings oh i don't know i don't know no no no i shot in a range well i've shot outside too
01:00:29
yeah for me here's here i i it's tough cause they're so fun they're
01:00:34
fun it's so they're so fond dude fun it's tough to to be when people are like against guns i'm like i know but they're
01:00:41
so fun they're fun until you get hit by one well i've never been shot i know if you're you've never been shot i know
01:00:48
well i wonder what i would be like i watch movies and people get shot i wonder how i would react
01:00:56
hey what what what this is it man i know but where are you can't do this anymore who are you i'm me
01:01:02
and it's you oh andrew yeah it's so dark here i didn't um yeah yeah i don't mean to talk
01:01:09
for a while i understand that but um can i ask you a question i can't do this anymore i understand that but before you
01:01:16
pill that can i ask you a question sure does this mean the podcast is over yeah oh okay bang
01:01:22
and then so what i would do is what do you do if i shoot you no do it again just do it again do it again
01:01:27
[Laughter] hey yeah do it
01:01:32
you want to die well i mean bang
01:01:39
are you coming oh my god you're coming why did you do that
01:01:45
because bobby all those months on the podcast do it again
01:01:51
wait a minute do it again bang oh wait are you touching yourself yes
01:01:57
yeah yeah bang oh i'm almost there
01:02:04
[Laughter] shoot me in a dark alley all right right
01:02:09
shoot me hey a little pissing annie little pessimistic
01:02:16
bobby what are you doing you're a little pissing at me all these years together what what's wrong what what shut up no
01:02:21
bob i'm your captain all right i'm the one with the gun you're pissing at a little trollop
01:02:26
you know bobby did that hurt you when i call you a troll look at the gun oh [ __ ] look at it yeah yeah there's no
01:02:32
bullets in there [Laughter]
01:02:38
dad dad you're they find you like this with expression with a smile
01:02:44
on the news a bad friend shot today yeah
01:02:49
kill kill her what kill her shoot her for sure i don't think that's how i'd kill her how did you kill how
01:02:55
would you kill her you like boba oh poison both yeah poison boba dude she bites into one well i put little tiny
01:03:02
little explosives in here i mean when you crack into it there's like a little divi it'll explode around your mouth ooh
01:03:07
that would be a such a good way to kill her and then she shows up at bad friends with just no job no job
01:03:16
no jaw just a nose just like yeah yeah you know what i would do i would train dogs i would train dogs to attack
01:03:23
and then i'd tell you that i got some dogs for you to foster and then i would have them attack you to death yeah you'd never see that coming you'd go
01:03:31
and they would eat you alive that's mean you talked about killing us at the beginning of this podcast didn't she
01:03:37
yeah let me ask you something in game of thrones the whole time remember what's his name got eaten by dogs in game of thrones who i don't i didn't see it
01:03:43
ramsey ramsay yeah you never saw game of thrones never why
01:03:50
it's so good i think the creator creeps me out no it's so good peter
01:03:55
peter shanley i don't know what you're talking about the creator of game of thrones what's his name yeah have you seen that guy
01:04:02
you mean the writer mm-hmm what's his name again he he created a vid jojo martin yeah he's so great i know
01:04:10
but he scares me look at a photo of this guy this is why i couldn't watch it
01:04:15
like a dirty sea sails like a [ __ ] sea captain this guy has he's got yeah he doesn't
01:04:22
look he looks scary no he looks like he's the guy in the lighthouse i can't yeah he's well he's he's like the combination the guy from up he looks
01:04:29
like ed asner's character yeah i just feel like he does he does bad stuff
01:04:34
yeah i don't know he looks so scary to me i couldn't watch i didn't want to fund him i didn't want to buy him more
01:04:39
hats that's really what it was i didn't want to fund his hat well that's a good
01:04:45
anyway what does ramsay gets eaten by dogs and then what he just has his own dogs
01:04:51
right and they eat him what he does is he use the dogs to eat other people
01:04:56
that's what he would use as a punishment and at the end they wrap him up and they don't feed the dogs for like a
01:05:01
week his own dogs and there's a scene where his dogs walk into this like little like um dungeon i
01:05:09
guess and he's tied up bleeding and a dog comes and licks his face his own dog
01:05:15
and then they just [ __ ] start biting chunks of his face off i love that isn't that the fact that's dope see that's
01:05:20
what we would do to you root yeah you keep threatening me and you see i've got some stuff planned for you that's
01:05:26
the difference between dogs and cats if it were cats they eat people it'd be harder though yeah but cats eat their
01:05:31
owners if they found them dead they find cats eating their owners oh yeah that that the cat
01:05:37
yeah a cat will just eat a dog typically won't eat the owner if it's dead or when a dog like loses its master and
01:05:44
waits at the graveyard or when they do that all that see that's why they're so sweet yeah jules what have you been
01:05:49
doing what's been going on in your world if school's out you're not going to school i've seen arcane on netflix it's really
01:05:57
good what's arcane pretty good a movie that's finished it's tv show oh yeah tv show but it's based on a game
01:06:04
but there's another one we saw which was hellbound i'm still confused me too you can't get through it are you watching
01:06:10
succession i love it so good so good what's been going on in your life though for real what have you been doing
01:06:17
nothing i haven't seen you in a while nothing goes to hawaii again are you excited to go back
01:06:23
yeah how many times have you been in hawaii since the last year not last year this last year how long
01:06:28
have you been hawaii haven't you gone four or five times five times did you ever get to do stuff like that
01:06:34
before when you're living it now no privilege huh look at her now she gets everything everything do you fly first
01:06:40
class when you go no does kalyana bobby exactly yeah that's true yeah yeah i'm
01:06:45
trying to fight first class i knew [ __ ] you let her fly first class no she deserves it no she doesn't just once one
01:06:51
time i will yeah you should yeah you let me i did in seattle i think oh yeah that's right were you for the first
01:06:57
class in seattle first class you know we should really do is do like a bad friend's private jet
01:07:02
you know how fun that would be to take a jet one time what if it falls like buddy holly then
01:07:08
we die as bad friends together do you think they'll do a movie oh they will definitely do a movie on us they
01:07:14
were like what was going on on that [ __ ] plane how much does it cost to practice you know who buddy holly is no
01:07:20
so back in the day was it was what what are called it was richie valens yep
01:07:27
buddy holly yep the big what's his name it was his name was the big there's another guy that was big cheese
01:07:34
something like that no what was his name the big cheese or something like that yeah but they all flew this they were big
01:07:40
huge stars as big as harry styles back then in the 50s they took a plane and they crashed and
01:07:45
they all died all these legends same thing happened in leonard skinner they died some of them died some of them lived yeah and it happened to
01:07:54
otis redding private gestures to crash all the let's not do it time
01:08:00
now it's different they don't crash they don't want to do it then they don't crash anymore that really was the last time a private jet
01:08:07
of a a gulf stream crashed or like a g4 let's just do it take a helicopter in a foggy day
01:08:17
did you learn making jokes about that from mari yeah yeah i learned that from already those are the jokes
01:08:23
um all right so i want to say something to you the thanksgiving when we called you made
01:08:29
me reflect a lot about how much i love you how much i appreciate you and i was thankful for you okay i love you
01:08:37
i also thought about the rest of people that work on the show and i thought about pete and i thought about andres and i thought about george
01:08:45
and i thought about doc and that's all the people that work on the schools
01:08:50
what i said how much i love you jewel pete and andres and george yeah and doc
01:08:57
yeah and i gotta just say exactly you guys mean the world you mean the world to me as well
01:09:03
you dog george pete andreas the best the you
01:09:09
especially i love you so much you yeah and almost nobody else nobody except for george andres pete pete yeah
01:09:16
and doc and doc yeah my favorite people eric griffin sometimes love that guy is the best yeah
01:09:23
i love that guy anyway yeah i'm grateful that as well and um i want
01:09:31
i'm grateful as well i'm grateful for the food we get i am grateful as well right the sleep we get i'm grateful as
01:09:36
well and um everyone around us do you pray before you eat on thanksgiving pray i get into my i get into god
01:09:44
you spiritual now i i've always been spiritual but more so now do i get in tune with the lord
01:09:50
what do you say to the lord when you talk to dear heavenly father thank you so much for all the
01:09:55
gruel thank you so much for the sustenance god bless thank you so much for um
01:10:03
introducing island people to us love island island
01:10:08
right especially little girls from the islands what are you talking about she's from ireland epstein's stuff what are you
01:10:14
no talking take your hand down wait no i was well why are you doing that the presence of the lord yeah yeah i just want to say i'm grateful for
01:10:21
everyone thank you so much and thank you for being here thank you for being here thank you for being a bad friend thank you
01:10:29
[Music]
