00:00:00
You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? A white dude and an Asian dude. You two
00:00:07
are disgusting. Well, you two are something. We're bad friends.
00:00:12
43. I'm 42. This is wrong. And oh my god, look at this guy. Optora. He's got
00:00:18
his kneecap uh kneecap balaclava on. Balaclava. That's pretty cool, man.
00:00:23
I just had to teach Carlos how to say that word. He couldn't do it. I like that you're covering your face. Baklava. Balaclava.
00:00:30
No, balaclava. A baklava is I love baklaklavas. It's so good. I love the Greek dessert. And also give it up for the return. We
00:00:36
haven't seen him in a long time of Richard. I I had to coers him to come here. Get on.
00:00:41
I was at seven AIS today. I saw Richie just, you know, I don't know what he does there, but he was just kind of wandering around and I go, you got to
00:00:47
come back to Bad Friends. It's like if George allows me. George George doesn't own you. You can
00:00:53
do whatever you want. Well, I he took his passport. Yeah. Yeah. I took my orders from seven
00:00:58
Ekisly. I mean, my loyalty is to Andreas, to be honest. Your loyalty is not to us.
00:01:03
Well, no, it's you. But it's to Andre. Without us, no Seven Eckis. That's right. Without Andre. It crumbles. What?
00:01:09
Without him, no me. Yeah, but without us, no. Anybody. Hey, man. It all comes back to us.
00:01:15
Okay. Well, today is uh what a glorious day because um our pal here, you know, the
00:01:22
Paul Simon of the group. No, I'm the Garfunk. No, I'm the Garfuncle. Who? Are they both
00:01:28
still alive? Yeah, they are. Well, then we're You know what? You know who we are? If we were Mly crew.
00:01:35
That's right. You're Tommy. For sure. Tommy. And who am I? I don't know.
00:01:41
I'm the I'm the roadie. You're the roadie, dude. Loading it in. Just loading in. That's all I do. I'm loading it in. Loading it
00:01:47
out. Is Nikki six in it? Yeah. Nikki six. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're Nikki six.
00:01:53
I'm Nikki five. Okay. You're Nikki 43. Johnny 5. Stay alive. Yeah. I rewatched Blow last night, by
00:01:59
the way. Yeah. Never seen one of the best movies. Never seen it. What? Yeah. Please watch it. Is cocaine driven. Yoya.
00:02:05
Yeah. You had the wrong dream, George. Yeah. Who's in Blow? It made Johnny Depp and Penelopey Cruz.
00:02:11
It made me forget how dope Penelopey Cruz was. It It reminded me. I'm sorry. She's unbelievable.
00:02:17
Anyway, I was have a speech prepared. Oh, I'm sorry. Give a speech. Yeah. Yeah. Our honey baby here. Um,
00:02:23
what a voyage and what a journey and what a adventure that you've been on
00:02:28
for 42 years. Yeah. From the projects from Yeah. From the bottom. From the from the Chicago projects.
00:02:33
From the hood. Yeah. To elite status. Good man. Good man.
00:02:38
Yeah. Um, athlete. Athletic. Yeah. Yeah. Comrade. Comrade. Yeah. Um, destroyer.
00:02:45
Yeah. And healer. And healer. I'll do both. Yeah. I like that. Uh, Cambodian freedom fighter.
00:02:52
CFF. That's right, dude. And you know, um, you mean so much to me. Um,
00:02:59
you're one of my best friends in the whole world. And, you know, we've had our differences. Oh, yeah.
00:03:05
Big differences. Big big differences. Big differences. But, um, we've had our moments as well. I think that's what makes a good
00:03:11
friendship. Exactly. And so, why don't we give u my comrade here a happy birth?
00:03:17
I like it. But I'm really enjoying it now. A happy birthday. All right. So, um,
00:03:22
come on. Hurry. M. What the [ __ ] are you doing, man? He's always slow. Yeah. Anyway,
00:03:28
always slow on the upswing, that kid. He's the bind the binder. The creator.
00:03:35
Trapper keeper. Fill. No. Fill time. I like it. No, you're good at this. You can fill time. Yeah. You float distance.
00:03:41
You do. You float distance. Hell yeah. And you create havoc within two means.
00:03:47
And the two means of two buttons. The two buttons are life. Yeah, baby.
00:03:52
Mone. Um, he's the order. You're the ortor. You're order of all smiths. Oh, he's the order and you're the chaos.
00:03:59
Yeah, but you know, um, you'd be the headsmith in some village. I'll tell you
00:04:04
that right now. Really? Yeah. Where do you get the best axes,
00:04:09
Andrew? You know, I mean, where do you get You know what I mean? The clogs for the horses. I don't know what you call
00:04:15
them. No clogs. Yeah, they were clogged stirrups, dude. You go to Andrew, right? I'm the uh I turn butter in that
00:04:21
village, but I come to you for the arrows. I I don't know what else do they do
00:04:27
there. You're doing good. And you know, and um you're a locksmith as well. I really I fix everything.
00:04:32
You can break into houses as well. Really? Yeah, dude. You make the best lockpicks in the village.
00:04:38
The best lockpicks in the whole village. Yeah. And the wizard, the wizard that lives there
00:04:44
of Oz. your best friend. I'm friends with the wizard. Yeah, you're friends with the wizard. Wow. You're friends with the um the ladies
00:04:50
that sing the songs. In the church, the sirens. The sirens. Yeah.
00:04:57
That's you. So, I'm important to the village. You're important to it all. Yeah.
00:05:02
Yeah. And guess what? Guess what? You're going to be mayor of this village. And then the emperor,
00:05:09
he sees your good deeds and your good works. Thank you, sir. And he promotes you to clergy.
00:05:15
I'm now a part of the clergy. I feel like that's down clergymen. But you move up. I move it up. I elected.
00:05:22
The bishop is very th happy birthday. Thank God to you. Happy birthday, dear
00:05:30
Andrew. Thank you. Happy birthday to you. So much more.
00:05:44
Yes. Success. What is this? Tiramiu.
00:05:49
Oh, it's my favorite. Let's get the gifts out. It's my favorite thing. The gift out. Oh my god, do I love tiramisu.
00:05:54
Thank you. I love tiramisu. Very nice. This is the best tiramisu in Los Angeles, as they say.
00:06:00
Is that true? Fancy. Yep. Bishop Santino. Yes, my son.
00:06:05
You were once a smith. I was once a smith. defeated the wizard in the old battle of ages.
00:06:10
You created um axes and swords and horse clogs.
00:06:16
You mean best smith in the business. Thank you. And you you were clergy. You moved yourself up to bishop.
00:06:21
Thank you. And we would like to say happy birthday to you, my my bishop. Bishop Santino.
00:06:27
My lord. Thank you. Wow. My lord. An envelope. An envelope.
00:06:32
Inside is a card with a little golf club. Exactly. This is from Tacomao Spa.
00:06:39
Mhm. Wow. Happy birthday from your pals of bad friends, Bobby Carlos, Fancy Mone, and
00:06:44
sometimes Rudy. And this is to the spa. This is incredible. It's incredible. Thank you so very much, you guys. I
00:06:50
would like a little spa. And this says, "Mone, much love, Carlos. Love you.
00:06:55
Happy birthday from Richie." Phelis Coplanos. Hefe.
00:07:00
Am I Elfe? Yeah. Did Richie sign it? And this is beautiful. Richie didn't. And I got to tell you, happy he didn't.
00:07:07
I don't want his signature. Happy birthday, pal. Thank you. I love you. And I have to say, this is all I want. Just a little massage, a little spa time for the kids.
00:07:13
I have some things coming. I know you do. You're you're the best the best giftgiver. Yeah, I'm the best giftgiver. So, um,
00:07:20
anyway, well, hurrah. Hurrah. Hurrah. Hurrah. Happy birthday. Hurrah.
00:07:27
My favorite thing about our birthdays going back to back like this, yes. Is that the whole episode is about your birthday
00:07:33
and mine is less than two minutes. Mine is literally No. No. Har.
00:07:40
Yeah. Yeah. He's bored already. Bravo. Good tourism. Okay.
00:07:45
You know, take one. Let me reflect on birthdays real fast. We don't give a [ __ ] Thank you.
00:07:51
Exactly. Yeah. It is a very good tourism. Phenomenal. It's phenomenal. What's the name of the place? Javanni.
00:07:56
Javanis. Very nice. Um, a good birthday it will be.
00:08:03
You know what? You want to know what I'm doing for my birthday? I'd like to know, Bishop, please. I'm going to u of all places Albuquerque
00:08:09
to go see the hot air balloon festival and go on a hot air balloon. Have you ever seen this? No, but be careful.
00:08:15
Yeah. It's one of the It's one of the most beautiful events I think I've ever done. Look at how pretty that is.
00:08:21
What' you say? What' you say? What' you say? Donbuckle. Donakle.
00:08:26
Okay. But it's beautiful. It's right. It's early in the morning. You go at dawn and you see all the balloons arrive.
00:08:32
Have you really done this before? I'm about to go do this for the You've never done it before? I'm No, I'm going to go do this. But it looks incredible. Hundreds of balloons
00:08:37
in the sky. Yeah. You're not scared at all. Why would I be? Do you have a high quality balloon?
00:08:43
We got a mid-level. Okay. Okay. Okay. A mid-level balloon. Yeah. It was on discount. Now, how does that work?
00:08:49
Let's bring up some accidents. There we go. That's you. That's me. Yeah. Now, if that happens, what what
00:08:56
would you do? 2025 Santa Katarina hot air balloon crashed. June 21st hot air balloon caught fire. Crashed. Okay.
00:09:02
Yeah. I killed Oh, look in look inward. Killing eight of the 21 people. Come on. That's not bad.
00:09:08
Good chance. I think I'd be one of the others, don't you think? Five non-fatal injuries. I don't know.
00:09:14
Non fatal. So, they Okay, so honestly, yeah, a couple people got dinged.
00:09:19
2013 Luxor hot air balloon crash. All right, so that's been a long time. So, yeah, you know what? In 2013, that's a long
00:09:25
time to 2025. They were due. Yeah. And they got it out of the way this year. Yeah. What's the old old school one from
00:09:31
the black and white? What was that called again? Hindenber. The Hindenburg. Yes, I remember that one. Yeah. The Hindenburg. Hate to tell you that was not the hot
00:09:36
air balloon. Yeah. How many people died on the Hiddenberg? Hindenburg. Hindenburg. Uh the Hindenburg was down in in uh May
00:09:44
6th, 1937. Manchester. 36 deaths. Let me guess. All white. All white. Yeah. Yeah. All white.
00:09:49
Yeah. Well, you know what that thing was filled with, right? What? Black sadness.
00:09:54
Black sadness. What is What is that? Can I just precaution? I'm ready to go. No precaution.
00:10:01
I'm 42. This says 43. I'm ready to go. Yeah. Is it? You couldn't even get that right. Mone,
00:10:06
you stayed at my house. It wasn't Mone. Who was it? It was me. Yeah.
00:10:11
You think I'm 43. I I heard you say 42. Exactly. That's You did say the other day you're I am 42 because it's my birthday. I see.
00:10:18
Yeah. 41. Pretty good. Wow. What? Incredible. You know what I'm looking forward to? What?
00:10:24
43. 43. Yeah. Looking forward to 43. You're looking forward to 43 now in this. May I ask
00:10:30
upcoming year? What do you expect here? 42. What do I expect that in my 43s?
00:10:35
Yeah. What are some goals? The Bad Friends Animated Show to get lifted off the ground so we can finally start making that masterpiece.
00:10:41
Yeah. Bad Bad Friends Animated. Yeah. Um I'm excited to start touring again and doing new material.
00:10:48
Scared out of my mind. I'm excited for the Bobby Lee standup special taping. Mhm.
00:10:53
Very excited for that. Mhm. Um, and I'm more I'm even more excited
00:10:58
to take the entire summer off next year. No shows, no podcasts, no nothing. I'm gone for three and a half months.
00:11:04
Where you go? Where are you going? I'm turning off my phone and I'm disappearing. Okay.
00:11:10
That might interfere with work. Doesn't matter to me. Yeah. Yeah. This is all work. Well, we'll have to backlog. Yeah. No.
00:11:15
Okay. Well, then are we done? You got to get a new host. A co-host. Okay.
00:11:21
Now you're excited. Taylor Williamson. I don't know who else. He's the only one
00:11:27
available. Taylor Williamson. Hold up. He is great. Yeah. Yeah. Um
00:11:33
Yeah. You know, I too want to have a I want to do a um what do you call it? Um when you when
00:11:39
you go dark in a cave. A little sadness retreat. No. No. Yeah. No. A darkness retreat.
00:11:44
Yeah. Have you seen those? I want to do that. I want to I would love to try the one you and I we should go together and try to do the one where
00:11:50
you don't speak for 5 days. Yeah. I'd love that. [ __ ] impossible. Yeah, you don't talk for five. Neil Brennan
00:11:56
did it. I think you you voluntarily go to this thing and you don't talk and all of LA was relieved.
00:12:03
You go there for five years. Love you, Neil. We love you, Neil. We live love you, Neil. Darkness retreats near Los Angeles
00:12:09
within the ultimate darkness retreat. Yeah. Look what they look like. Is there images, my friend? Well, there's one in Malibu, but you
00:12:15
know, you would you come home at night. You know that you wouldn't last. Yeah. You don't think so? You and I would never last.
00:12:21
You know what I would do? a darkness retreat if there was a competition. Yes. Well, we could make it a competition.
00:12:26
Yeah. Yeah. Because they don't who who who taps out first. They don't have sukum and ramen out there.
00:12:32
Yeah. I'm sure you're eating uh tofu bowls and stuff and I just think that it would be um I just
00:12:38
want to know what it's like. Just to feel it. Yeah. To feel it. It's kind of like when you try to go vegan or something.
00:12:44
Oh, there's another thing. Have we talked about this? There's another thing that I want to do, which is go to that room with no sound. M
00:12:52
oh god the the not hyperbaric chamber. Is that what it's called? There's a room with no sound and people can only last an hour or they go crazy.
00:12:58
That one right there. What's it called? And it how do you say that? Any any chamber?
00:13:03
Yeah. And and and a lot of YouTubers and viral people get to go. I I I want to
00:13:08
make a proposition. Is there any way bad friends can go visit this room? Because I'm just so curious.
00:13:14
That'll be a great episode. Go for a short amount of time cuz people go crazy, don't they? Yeah. After 15 20 minutes, people start
00:13:20
like start seeing things and they start hearing their veins. That's cool. Yeah.
00:13:26
So, I sat in something not this level, but I sat in something like this in um
00:13:32
Hobart. Um they had a museum and in the museum they had something as close as they
00:13:37
could, but you can hear your own heartbeat. Wow. It is very weird. Yeah. I did not like it at all.
00:13:43
Yeah. Like your brain. And this one isn't even like this. This This was like a low down
00:13:48
version of this. But that thing scares me. You see, even the look of it scary. Honestly, Carlos, be real. Try to make
00:13:55
this happen. Okay. I'm really scared of it. I'm not going to lie. I know you if you do 15 minutes, you do 15 minutes. I'm not going to laugh at
00:14:01
you. 15? Yeah. I'm doing two. Yeah. I'm I think I can do an hour. No chance. Oh, yeah.
00:14:07
What's the longest someone's been in one of these? How do you even say it's an hour and a half? I think an hour and a half. Everybody take a guess on how you say that.
00:14:12
Yeah. Anchoic. Anchoic chamber. Anoic chamber. Yeah. Anakawic. Anakawick chamber.
00:14:19
How long has someone been there? What's the longest anyone's been in there? The longest a person stayed in there is Raymond Red Microsoft's Redmond campus
00:14:26
55 minutes. Wow. Wow. 45 minutes in another lab. YouTube's Call 1 hour and 26 minutes in a London
00:14:32
chamber. Yeah. These durations are challenged by the disorienting effects of the profound silence. Sensory deprivation, hallucinations, increased awareness of
00:14:37
internal body sounds like heartbeats and breathing. See, what if you had a heart attack in there? Could you hear your heart? Well, there's video camera. Look at
00:14:43
this. Man who broke the record for time spent in the world's quietest room. Yeah. Reported experiencing several
00:14:49
hallucinations. Yeah. See, I I just 32-year-old is allowed to speak. He spoke for one
00:14:56
minute every 5 minutes to keep sound levels below 25 dB. So, he would just talk to himself. No, no, no. I saw the video cuz it's on
00:15:02
video. So, you can every minute every 5 minutes he would talk for a minute and he would he would tell people what was
00:15:08
going on. It looks like a horror film. Look at that. That's I I know. We got to do it. We got to talk. point of this.
00:15:13
Well, you you they say you you like clear your brain. You reconnect, but you also like hallucinate and stuff.
00:15:19
Yeah. Yeah. He said, "It sounds like someone's dragging a trolley across my ear. It feels like seconds are going slower while I talk."
00:15:24
And the trolley in your ears, you you can hear your blood vessels in your ear. Yeah. We got to try it, dude.
00:15:30
It's the hardest five minutes he's ever done. He said he felt like he was going crazy. Wow. I'm so curious. See, but if you
00:15:35
have any if you have any if you're prone to panic attacks or or claustrophobia,
00:15:41
this is going to kill you. What? Yeah, I have panic attacks sometimes. All right. Well, then I'll do it.
00:15:47
Okay, I'll watch it. Yeah. Yeah, you'll watch though. Oh, yeah. I'm I'm going to cuck you. I'm going to cuck this. Yeah,
00:15:53
that is creepy to think about. We're going to try it. I'm down to do it. We got to go to London. Is there one in Los Angeles?
00:15:58
I think there's one in Minnesota. Anoic train chamber. Oh, the UCLA physics department has one.
00:16:04
Research purposes. Requiring a professor's sponsorship for access. UC Irvine also has one. We could try.
00:16:09
Let's give it a go. Are you prepped and ready for your for your special taping? No, I'm not. You're coming up on it, babe.
00:16:14
I know. That's why I booked a bunch of shows, so I'm going to just try to bang it out. You know, at this point, it's like I have what I have.
00:16:20
I can't change what I'm what I'm not. You can keep manipulating it and and piecing it.
00:16:26
We are We are trying, but it's like I have what I have. You know what I mean? I'm just going to do what I'm going to do. And if they said, "Don't ever do
00:16:31
another one," then I'm not going to do one. Then don't do another one. Yeah. Yeah. Right. But I think it's going to be fine. I think it's going to be wonderful. Yeah. Yeah. I like some of my jokes. And
00:16:39
um I'm a performer. It'll be fine. What's so funny? I mean, when you see me perform, I don't bomb.
00:16:45
Never. No. I never bomb, right? Mhm. I do. Well, right. Yeah. Okay, good. You think it's going to go well?
00:16:51
Who? Who in the room in the back? I'm not allowed there, so I have no opinion. Yeah, you're coming. You told me I wasn't.
00:16:57
I was kidding. Of course, I wanted you I need you to be there. What do you think? I think it's going to go great. Okay. What about Andres?
00:17:03
Absolutely. Okay. Carlos, be real. I think any hint of it not going well, you'll just hop on a joke that works.
00:17:10
So, it can't not go well. It can't not go well. How much time do you have?
00:17:15
I have 40. 40 is all you need. What are you going for? Well, I have I have a musical number and
00:17:21
some other things. Whoa. Yeah. So, it'll it'll feel like a 10, but I'm also working on another 10. So, let's see what happens.
00:17:27
Musical number. I like that. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to play the piano and singing. What? Live at the Yellow Onion.
00:17:34
Anyway, let's bring in our guest. We should. Ladies and gentlemen, it's funny, Marco. Funny Marco. Ladies and gentlemen,
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Say what? I was just then No, we in it. We're here. Like we in it. We don't have to be in it. Yeah. Hold on. Did I already passed um St.
00:20:30
Patrick's Day? Yeah, it's my birthday. This is my birthday episode. So, they're celebrated because I'm Irish. This is my This is my
00:20:36
Oh, I'm turning. How old do you think I am? Um in what? Like in year human years.
00:20:44
How old are you? Just looking at me. Well, I just learned that Theo Van is 56. No, no, no.
00:20:50
He's 45. He's 45. I didn't know that. But Bur Chryser told me that you thought he was 29.
00:20:55
Yeah, I thought he was young. Yeah. Yeah. So, uh So, how old am I? I'm going to say 43. Okay.
00:21:00
Very good. What What about me, Marco? What about me, Marco? Do you have an age?
00:21:06
Yeah. Asians, we do age. Oh, I didn't know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't I didn't know like you always look good.
00:21:11
Yeah. Yeah. Let me ask you this. What kind of Asian am I? This is a fun game.
00:21:16
A beautiful one. Yeah. No, no, no. I Listen, Marco, can I call you Marco? Yeah. Right. I'm
00:21:23
not one of those Asians that get offended. Yeah. You throw it out there. What? No. No. It's like
00:21:28
What's my [ __ ] What kind of Asian? I I say like the one off of Hangover.
00:21:34
Yeah, the one off of Hangover. He's writing stuff down. Yeah, I'm writing stuff up today, so
00:21:40
don't forget. Okay. Hangover. And also, how old am I, Marco? Oh,
00:21:46
you don't age. I know I don't. Like, if you put up a baby picture, you probably still look the same. Yeah. Yeah.
00:21:51
Put it up. But put it put a guess up.
00:21:59
There's Bobby's a baby. He looks the same. And his dad right there, his dad in that photo is 94.
00:22:05
Yeah. So, no guess. Uh, I'm going to say 36. Wow. Thank you.
00:22:10
Oh, that's offensive. as [ __ ] That's offensive as [ __ ] I look younger than Andrew. God, that hurts. That hurts. I'm 54 years old.
00:22:17
Are you serious? Yeah. Yeah. How do you feel like What do your dad look like? He's dead. He's dead. Oh, he is. He died.
00:22:23
He He looks like that. Uh how I never uh Okay. So, what is um
00:22:30
what is your culture again? Korean. Korean. Yeah. How Korean?
00:22:35
How? Say it back. It's only politic.
00:22:41
Okay. How are the funerals? Can you break it down? I never been to one before.
00:22:48
Oh, he's asking you, "How are you today?" I'm doing good. Yeah.
00:22:55
I got subtitles. For the audience. Yeah. Okay. Well, he asked about how your funerals are. Well, we love black funerals. We've
00:23:01
talked about on this show. They're probably the best thing in the world. Yeah, they are. Have you been to one of those where they prop them up and they like play with
00:23:06
them? I ain't did that way. That's the craziest [ __ ] I've ever seen in my life. Well, Asian Asian funerals, we're quiet people,
00:23:12
right? So, we go. Everybody does that at the same time.
00:23:18
Yeah. So, nobody cries. That's me crying. [Music]
00:23:24
They have smaller tear ducts, so they don't really come. Yeah. Smaller eyes. Have you been to one with him? To
00:23:31
No, I you know, he he invited me to one, but I couldn't go. But I do want to go cuz it does look like a party. This
00:23:36
looks like a cuz he lost his ghee. I lost my ghee. He lost his ghee. That's an African funeral with the They're encased in there and that's a
00:23:42
celebration. Yeah, she was a mermaid while she was alive. Funny. Marco, you think there are black
00:23:48
mermaids? I wouldn't I wouldn't know what a I feel like a a mermaid would just be a no
00:23:55
race. Just nothing. Oh, it's a nothing race. I'll say that to her. That's the new Little Mermaid. So, she would disagree.
00:24:01
Yeah. I just feel like it would be like see-through. Oh, like jellyfish.
00:24:07
Oh, translucent. I see. Right. But would you hook up with a mermaid? You think?
00:24:13
No, no, no. What? Mermaids do have They have They have hole. They have hole.
00:24:18
Mermaid have hole. They are real. They are real. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. They've only caught three. One alive.
00:24:26
Yeah. That's the hole right there. There it is. It's like a little diamond. You can fit in there. Yeah.
00:24:33
I'm glad you're here. the part where you'd be like, "Oh, wow." Yeah. No. Okay. No, I was contemplating that and I Yeah,
00:24:40
you're right. I could fit in there. You know why? I have a small penis. Oh,
00:24:47
I wouldn't call like No, my penis is fine. Yeah, it's good. It's getting you somewhere. Yeah. Everybody likes something, you know? So,
00:24:53
I feel like it could be big to somebody, you know? Yeah. For a little dwarf.
00:24:58
If that's what you like. That's what you like. Yeah. Are you in a relationship? No. Well, You just I'm just hanging out.
00:25:06
Who does that mean? I mean, I feel like relationships are just like, you know, relationships I feel like they just
00:25:12
they there, you know? Yeah. I feel like married. You're playing the field. Yeah. I feel like Yeah. Until you get
00:25:18
married, it's like, you know, hanging out. Until you're married, you're just you're doing your thing. Yeah. Yeah.
00:25:23
Yeah. You married? I'm married. He's not. He's He's single. He's He's ready. You want to go out on the town?
00:25:28
What do you think? What's taking you so long? What does that mean? Well, you're 54. He knows and so he's
00:25:33
asking. Yeah. You know, I've been in long-term relationships. They haven't worked out and then now I'm back on the prowl.
00:25:40
Uhhuh. Yeah. You can do that if So, where do you meet your girls at or Oh, really? At the dojo. Is that what
00:25:47
you're saying? Oh, yeah. What the [ __ ] you're saying? Never ask. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No. No.
00:25:53
Like on the app like Can I Can we see how you DM girls? Well, let me call the emperor and see if
00:25:58
the geishas are available. What the [ __ ] are you talking about, man? Which part? He wants to see your game. Show him.
00:26:04
He wants to know if you have I'm on a dating app called Rya. Can you show us like how you got a girl? How it goes? A thread that you
00:26:10
comfortable with? Yeah. Show a thread. What do you mean a thread? Talk to a girl like and get her number.
00:26:16
How do you Are you not on the apps? Yeah. I I on Instagram usually
00:26:21
I make sure that they're single by watching their stories and sure.
00:26:27
Yeah, I got one. And Okay. Can he explain how he gets girls? He's in. We got to take this right now
00:26:32
before we go. What is it? No, no, I can do it. I can. Okay. Um, and then always watch their
00:26:39
story and start a conversation. Never going like you want to talk to them. What's your first line? What's your It depends on what they post on the
00:26:45
story that Okay. Okay. I'm I've got uh I mean um No. No. What? No.
00:26:50
Aa with the girls. No. I'm playing dodgeball with Samoan.
00:26:56
I'm playing dodgeball with Simone. Right. He's yanked back, right? And I'm going like, "Don't hit me." Right. So,
00:27:03
what's that opening line? What? He's not interested.
00:27:08
She's a hottie. She's a hottie. But she's playing dodge. She's dod playing dodgeball with Sam Owens. How old is she? She's a 10, but she's
00:27:14
playing dodgeball. She's 27 years old, dog. Big titties, Brazilian ass. Everything,
00:27:20
right? So, she's like, "Ah, born a woman, right? What? She born a woman?" Well, you'll have to find out.
00:27:26
Does it matter? You're going to have to find She has the right parts now. Okay. She got the OP.
00:27:31
Wait, I'll probably pass it to you if you like. No. Okay. She She's She's born a woman. She's is a woman. She identifies as a
00:27:38
woman. She's just playing dodgeball with Sam Owens. Yeah. I just don't get I I wouldn't be in that room,
00:27:43
right? Well, you It's an Instagram post. Oh, yeah. It's And then they post that. I just How
00:27:50
did the game go? How did the game go? That's [ __ ] Yeah. Finally. Well, you said it like it was live. You
00:27:55
didn't say it was a pitcher. All right. So, I was just give it give him a scenario. I'll respond. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right.
00:28:02
I like it. I think it's smart. How did the game go? And and and the girl responds, um, we lost. Can you help me? I'm down.
00:28:09
What do you say? Down? I There's a lot of double on time
00:28:14
happening. We lost. Can you help me? I'm down. Yeah, I'm down. What does she really say? What's the next thing you say? I don't know. Then I just be like, when
00:28:20
the next time y'all playing and I love to come and play with you guys. Do I play with Sam Owens? Yeah. You hear what you're saying? Yeah. come play with you guys.
00:28:25
Yeah, I actually come play. Yeah. Okay. I actually used to date a Simone. I let her know I very understand them and
00:28:32
they're Oh, you understand their technique? Yeah. Based on the Because you dated one? Yeah.
00:28:37
You know Simone and dodgeball technique based on the dates that you've been on. That's insane.
00:28:42
Okay. They family oriented. So you got to like watch out like you can't get too rough,
00:28:47
you know, cuz they together. It's a family. They really Does Samoan's genitals smell different?
00:28:52
I I didn't get that far. Right. It was my first girlfriend and I didn't take her virginity and she thought
00:28:58
something was wrong with me, but I just wasn't ready. Good for you. What's your favorite flavor then of girl?
00:29:03
Uh, I feel like anybody that love their self. Beautiful answer. We're talking about flavors.
00:29:09
It's just It varies. Yeah. Yeah. I got like Can we Can I throw out some flavors? I didn't date all type. Keonte.
00:29:15
Yeah. Keiante. Yeah. Yeah. Like that flavor. Who's Keiante? It's a flavor. Anyway, um Kiante sound like a black girl. It does.
00:29:21
Yeah, that does. Um, how about um, hazelnut? That's a white girl.
00:29:27
That's a guy. That's a guy. That's a guy. Yeah, because of the nut. Yeah. Yeah.
00:29:33
How about chartreuse? Chartreuse sound like another guy. Sounds like a guy. Yeah. Let's give him um,
00:29:39
Rocky Road. Another guy. Okay. Give him a Oh, Rose. Rose.
00:29:44
Yeah, that sound like an older woman. Okay. Lavender. Yes, that I like that. Lavender.
00:29:49
Older woman that you can Okay. She, you know, cook for you and put you to bed and cook for you, put you to bed. What about
00:29:54
Rosemary? How is she? Rosemary older lady, too. Yeah, she's much older. Would you date an older woman? Yeah.
00:29:59
What are we talking? Uh, if they got like some, you know, something that they going to leave behind, I definitely stay.
00:30:06
Sarah Huckabe Sanders. Bring her up, please. Bring her up. Yeah. Would you date Sarah Huckabe Sanders? Cuz she did hear you were coming on the
00:30:12
show and was interested in talking to I don't think she like me.
00:30:17
Now, when you say you or anybody like you, Yeah. Yeah. There she is with her three children. Yeah. She wouldn't like me.
00:30:22
Yeah. Okay. Yeah. That's She has no black kids. Okay. Well, let's give her one. No, I I just think she already got what
00:30:29
she like, you know. She got what she's like. And you got to respect it. Do you have any kids? Yeah, I got kids. How many kids? I got three kids.
00:30:34
Three? Yeah. Boy, boy, girl. Uh, I got uh two girls, one boy. Uh, either way. Yeah.
00:30:40
Beautiful. How old is the oldest one? Uh, 12. She's mixed. So, the her mom is
00:30:46
white and black. And then I got uh I got me a black baby and I got Mexican baby.
00:30:51
Oh, you have different mamas? Yeah. Not an Asian yet. Three mas. Let's get you an Asian. Yeah. Three mamas. Okay. Is your mom alive?
00:30:57
She is. Is mama alive? Yeah. What is that? Some sort of terminology I'm not aware of. Mama alive. He said, "Is your mother alive?"
00:31:03
Oh, she's alive. Yeah. Yeah. Is she single? She is single actually. Well, what stops out?
00:31:08
She got an Instagram. No, she doesn't have an Instagram. I don't like the line of She does Tik Tok. Does your mom have an Instagram? Uh
00:31:14
mine? No, she don't. Would she like me? [Laughter] Why?
00:31:20
She like people that's like, you know, Excuse me. She like people that been through [ __ ]
00:31:26
Oh, I've been through a fire. He's actually been through a lot. Shot at electrocuted. He's been shot at.
00:31:32
Electrocuted in a movie or like real life? No, in real life, dude. Yeah. What was that like? Yeah. I've been hit by a mallet.
00:31:38
But if he was to get shot at and you know who did it, would you tell? Oh, I like this. This is street knowledge.
00:31:43
Are you a street? Oh, we're doing street. I love it. Say that again. If you know who shot at you and you
00:31:49
could tell, would you? No, homie. Cuz I'm not a snitch. So, you want to keep them out there to shoot at other people?
00:31:54
I would snitch. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, I wouldn't snitch. But guess what, dude? They'll get their day.
00:32:00
Oh, yeah. I'll rip I'll rip their ass [ __ ] Yeah. No, I'll rip it. I'll rip it. Terri.
00:32:07
Have you been shot at? No. Who's shooting you? You're so lovable. Why would they? I would. No, I was saying that's what my
00:32:12
mama likes. She like got to get shot at. Wow. Wow. Oh, every man she's been with has been shot. That's a prerequisite for
00:32:18
your mother. Yeah. What a dating app. Has she been shot? No, she haven't. Oh, good. Thank you.
00:32:23
She keeps hanging out with guys that do. It might No, she stay in the house, though. My mama likes Okay, I got it. I got it.
00:32:28
She stays in the house and she likes guys that are in the streets. Where does she live? Uh, in Kansas City.
00:32:34
KC. That's where you're from. Yeah. You don't live there now, though? No, I don't. Where do you live now? It's bad. Uh, I live in Atlanta.
00:32:40
Wait, why? What do you mean it's bad in Kansas City? It's really like it's it's the crime rate is bad. It's bad. Really?
00:32:45
Yeah. But how's Atlanta though? Isn't Atlanta up and down too? It's so big. Like you can like go away
00:32:50
from it. Yeah, you can get away from KC or Casey Mo. Casey Mo. Okay. Mhm. I got a question for y'all.
00:32:55
Mhm. Go ahead. What do you say like, you know, how would you compare?
00:33:01
What would you say about y'all success right now? What do you feel like you haven't done yet that you want to do for both of y'all?
00:33:08
What haven't we done that we'd like to do? I mean, solo, not together. Oh, well, we
00:33:13
don't Well, we don't do much separate. We're one unit, you know. I'll be honest with you. I've
00:33:19
done everything I've dreamt of doing. I've been in movies. I've been series regular on TV shows. I've done standup
00:33:27
on TV. I I've uh toured. I'm about to go up in a hot air balloon for the first time.
00:33:33
Yeah. Mhm. And I hope it doesn't crash. Okay. Would you go up in a hot air balloon? I would.
00:33:38
You would? Yeah. Good. Would you skydive? Yeah. You would? Would you bungee jump?
00:33:43
I don't like that. You don't like that one? I just went I just tried the indoor, you know, skydang inside and it was a lie
00:33:49
for me. You didn't like that one? No, I didn't. Yeah. It didn't feel good. What's going on, man? He's sick. My allergies. We're going to get sick.
00:33:56
I'm telling I think you're getting Could you just be honest? I'm sorry. No. Okay. So, black. You know, you're
00:34:01
right. You're right. Yeah. Yeah. Black people have allergies and Asians get allergies as well. Wait a minute. White people invented
00:34:07
allergies. Yeah, they invented it. That's our thing. No, you didn't invent that. No, we did. You invented a lot of stuff.
00:34:12
Peanut butter, traffic lights. We invented allerg. The doororknob. Do you know about black invention?
00:34:18
Yeah. You know about all the black inventions? Cuz we go over them on this show pretty often. Yeah. Uh PlayStations.
00:34:24
No, you didn't. No, that's I think the Japanese. That's the Japanese. Yeah, that's our people. Okay. Home security system, traffic lights,
00:34:31
elevator doors, gas masks. The modern door knob though, too. Blood banks, uh, ironing boards, hair
00:34:37
straighteners, refrigeration, air conditioning, Super Soers. Yeah,
00:34:42
Super Soaker is amazing. Lonnie Johnson invented the Super Soaker water gun. Those are very important.
00:34:47
Now, would your mother date Lonnie Johnson? Cuz he he's into guns, but they're water guns. No,
00:34:53
she couldn't [ __ ] with Lonnie Johnson. No. Lonnie Johnson. They say he just now got paid for that.
00:34:58
He never got paid. He just recently got paid for it. Oh, really? He just got paid for a Super Soaker. He just recently got paid for it.
00:35:04
Oh, wow. Some white guy claimed it was his. Yeah, they never pay him. [ __ ] white. Wow. Look at that. Men in black style.
00:35:11
Wow. Look at him. So, he finally got paid. Lonnie Johnson finally got You can look it up. It says he just got
00:35:16
paid uh after many years like him getting paid for the Super Soaker and cuz some scumbag took all the money.
00:35:22
Yes. 2013 Super Soaker inventor Lonnie Johnson was paid after a legal battle with Hasbro, which acquired the company to license the toy. $72.9 million in
00:35:31
underpaid royalties. Wow. Now your mother would definitely date Lonnie Johnson. Yeah, she [ __ ] Lonnie Johnson.
00:35:36
She would [ __ ] Lonnie. Yes. Yeah. Well, I have a little money. Would you [ __ ] me? No, not Lonnie Johnson money, by
00:35:41
Oh, I know. I don't have Lonnie Johnson. No Lonnie Johnson money. Okay. What do you think is the best black
00:35:47
invention? That's a good question. Uh they we got
00:35:52
stop signs, right? Traffic lights, I think, was that traffic lights. Yeah, that would be good. That's huge. Home security.
00:35:58
We were just dying before that. Home security. I mean, home security is so [ __ ] up because you just watch it happen, but you like you know it's
00:36:04
happening, but it's like it's done. Like you can't do [ __ ] You can't do [ __ ] What do you mean? Explain. If somebody's breaking your house, you
00:36:10
just see it. But then but then you can do some action
00:36:15
like call. You can't Now if they made home security with lasers where you can shoot through
00:36:20
I see they need that. Now we're thinking lasers. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I always wondered like in
00:36:26
the bank in the movies where they try to go through, why don't we just have those in the house? That's true. You and I breaking into his house.
00:36:33
Breaking into his home. Yeah, we're We could just ask to go over. He'd let us in. Oh, you would? I'm going to break in. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Break in. I leave my
00:36:39
doors unlocked. I live in a nice neighborhood. You do. You do? You leave your doors unlocked? Seems risky to me.
00:36:44
Yeah. Really? Yeah. Yeah. I would never leave my door unlocked. I mean, why? Cuz if they was going to want to go in, they going to get in
00:36:50
anyway. You think if somebody wanted to break in your house, they going to be like, "Oh, the door is it's locked. We're going to turn around
00:36:55
tomorrow." They still going to get in? Well, I It's a little new door, right? Ah, dude.
00:37:01
Let him in. He's got something there. Now, do you Now, do you if they do get in, what do you do once they're in? You
00:37:07
just let them have it or you you protect your house? Oh, no. It depends if I'm there or not there. If you're there.
00:37:12
Oh, I mean it probably be like a shooting range. You keep that you keep that thing on you. I mean, not on me, but it's like
00:37:18
you keep that thing at the house. It's like John Wick style. I got you. Is it is is does Georgia have imminent
00:37:23
domain? You know what that is? Right. Isn't that what it's called? Where if somebody breaks into your house, you could shoot and kill them. You got to scream and let them know I
00:37:28
got a gun. I will kill you. Yeah. Right. Stand your ground. That's right. Georgia stand your ground law eliminates the the duty to retreat before using
00:37:35
deadly force. So in Georgia, uh, no duty to retreat. Individuals are not legally
00:37:40
required to attempt to flee a threatening situation before using deadly force. So someone breaks into your home, you could kill them, right? But I don't want to. I just
00:37:46
I I'd like to. Yeah. But it's a free pass to kill somebody. Yeah, but it's like
00:37:52
I'm with you. Cuz it's like I don't want to clean my house up. Like it's in my house. Oh, right. Right. Funny, Marco. You got plenty of money to
00:37:58
pay someone to clean that house. No. How about just go break in their house then? I got that. Okay. So, once they break into your house, you break into their
00:38:04
house. Yeah. So, you would you would make an announcement, do you think? Chess, not checkers. Well, how would you say it? I'm breaking your house. I want to do an actout,
00:38:10
right? I've been trying to do an act out for three minutes. Trust me, we've we've seen Yeah. Right.
00:38:16
Those are lasers. And I do like I'm dodging the lasers.
00:38:22
Right. There he goes. Right. Right. I knew about Marco has these lasers. Right. Right. And then all of a sudden, okay, I'm
00:38:28
going to steal this uh this Mexican baby's toy. Kind of a Mexican one. Right. Mexican babies toy. Yeah. Yeah.
00:38:35
Yeah. And what else? I wrote down what the Lynch uh a half white baby's toy.
00:38:40
And then I'm going ask, who down there? It's me,
00:38:45
Bob. It's me, Bob. And then I'mma laugh cuz I'm going be like, "What the [ __ ] is wrong with him?
00:38:50
Why would he say his name?" It's Bob Lee, right? From LA, right? Yeah. That's when I say, "I got a warning
00:38:56
shot." And I fire one in the air. Yeah, but we're bros. No, it's not. And then when I come down since you heard the fire and it has to
00:39:02
go off again. So you always got to shoot one into the air. Oh, so I I have one shot
00:39:08
to go away. To go away. Yeah. But then your roof has a hole in it. I know. Okay. And then you going to have one, too. Oh,
00:39:14
it's it's like, you know. Well, even I'm sorry. Yeah. Excuse me. You know, it's me.
00:39:20
We've met before. Lasers and everything. Yeah, you did go past the lasers. Oh, I did. Yeah. Oh, that's right. Because of my ninja ninja skills.
00:39:27
And I'm on the corner. I'm just hanging. I'm waiting for you to come back. That's right. Okay. Are you the getaway driver? Always. Oh, gay. You get shot, too.
00:39:33
Always. Oh, they really seriously [ __ ] Oh, [ __ ] I guess we're dead if we go to his house. Yeah. Not mine. I'm just saying in
00:39:39
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Limited time offer. Yeah. Are you an ass guy or a titties guy? Uh, it depends on it depends on what she
00:42:45
wearing, right? Okay. Well, I'll tell you. She's wearing like a halter top, like a cute little halter top. Her stomach her midrift is showing. Her stomach is
00:42:50
showing. Flat stomach. Beautiful. Huh? You talking about the process? No, she doesn't. No. No. Not anymore. What's down below?
00:42:56
Huh? What's down below? She's wearing those pants that you know where that hugs your butt. The sp the the stretchy pants where it goes into
00:43:01
the crack of your ass. No, you know which ones I'm talking about. There's also a little compartment to hide the penis.
00:43:07
Pop. I don't know. There's a little They talk They tuck the penis, right?
00:43:12
I'm listening to him. You didn't add that in there. Show me the stretchy pants that like the your butts. He knows which ones I'm
00:43:18
talking about. And she's wear and she's shoeless. She's shoeless. No shoes. And she's out on She's outside at the
00:43:24
park. You know these pants that like right there? Yeah. The ones that like your butt Oh, yeah. Yeah. Those those from the internet.
00:43:30
Mhm. Yeah. Butt crack leggings. Yeah. And at the back you can just see the tip of the penis tucked back.
00:43:38
Why, Marco? Why? I don't know. He hates it. I'm sorry, Marco. Is what you said? I hate No, I didn't
00:43:44
say that. No, I said you hate that. What? Penis. I know. Don't say that.
00:43:51
I'm sorry, dude. My bad. I read it wrong. You read it wrong? Yeah. Yeah. You read it. How about this girl? That's her right there. Oo, love that. Don't you, bud?
00:43:57
Now, give me your intro line to her on Instagram. Uh, I somebody that kind of do that is kind of like a too much
00:44:03
attention. I don't like somebody that kind of like thirst trap. You like someone to lay low. I like to like, you know, like hide it a little
00:44:09
bit. Do you like the jiggle or what? What? The jiggle. What? When the butt jiggles. Oh, okay. Yo, the butt. I thought you
00:44:14
was talking about something else jiggling. No. Okay. No more. We're not doing that anymore. No more. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. A penis
00:44:19
doesn't jiggle, by the way. Depends. It just rises, right? Depends. Like a comet. Will Will you wake up? You
00:44:27
wake up in the morning and what do you do? Why do you keep asking me questions? Because I'm a normal human being, dude. Hey. Hey. Why are you jumping? He's
00:44:33
asking you a real question. Okay. What I do is respond. Okay. So, I wash my ghee.
00:44:39
You know what I mean? And you know, I have a black belt with a stripe. The stripe I can take off. So, I wash that. Do a hand wash that,
00:44:44
right? And I go to the dojo, right? And I, you know, me and my sensei, right? We do some meditation.
00:44:50
We'll do some yoga, right? And then, you know, I'll battle out, you know what I mean? I'll do some rounds with people.
00:44:55
Yeah. Keo sometimes comes over. We'll do some, you know what I mean? Tea wondo. Take me through your day. When you wake
00:45:00
up, what do you do? Uh, what does funny Marco do first thing in the morning? I wake up, I realize that, you know, my
00:45:06
feet work cuz you never know. God is good. Yeah. I'll be thankful for that. Uh, I
00:45:12
listen to motivation like Steve Harvey motivation and I always try to like find show me motivation.
00:45:19
We love Steve Harvey. Yeah. He's one of our faith. That offended you, huh? It was like
00:45:25
that offended you. It was like We love Steve. It was like that. It was like a push that did it.
00:45:30
It was a push. It was a little snap. It was like a black like he went like that. Show me motivation.
00:45:35
Show me motivation. He says that on the show. Yeah, we did the show. Yeah, I know. I know. Did you do it?
00:45:41
I didn't. Yeah. Interesting. It's like we did it. You didn't. We did it. You didn't.
00:45:46
It just happened. He's a godly man. Are you a godly man? You are. Do you go to church?
00:45:52
I'm ADHD, right? Yeah. Oh, so you can't concentrate?
00:45:59
Yeah, I need some medicine. They do need a church for ADHD. They do. Yeah. I need How much money do you put in the basket
00:46:04
when it comes around? Uh, the most I put in there. The most I put in there
00:46:10
cuz I was young. Oh, you haven't been a while. What is this church? That's a fun church.
00:46:16
Oh, yeah. That's like a church I go to. Yeah. That's how black church look. Yeah. That's how your church looks.
00:46:21
Yeah. Yeah. They got a 50-inch flat screen TV there. It's like the playground of my daughter.
00:46:27
It's like where his daughter goes to the playground. The most the most racist thing I've ever heard. No, he's saying his playground where his
00:46:33
daughter goes to was diverse. The most racist thing I've ever heard. I'm just going to write that down. I
00:46:38
have ever heard. Yeah. Write that down. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. I apologize. They're happy. That's That's the
00:46:44
celebration of Hallelujah. That's Christ. That's the Lord getting in you. Yeah. Now, could I go in that church,
00:46:49
you think? No. Yeah, you could. Yeah. Yeah. And they would welcome me. I'd rather you not. Yeah, we definitely let him in. I'd let I' I'd rather him not.
00:46:54
How much would you put in a pot? 100 bucks. That's good. Yeah. Can I ask one more religious question if I may? Please.
00:47:00
Yeah. Yeah. Do you think Jesus would approve you having three babies from three different babies mamas?
00:47:06
Yeah. Yeah. I feel like Yeah. Because they're going to do something in life. That's right. And they're going to save other people. Good answer.
00:47:11
It also says in the Bible, be fruitful. Yeah. And you're being very fruitful. Very good.
00:47:17
Yeah. Be fruitful. How many kids y'all got? I have zero. He has zero. We have zero. Oh, what do y'all like?
00:47:22
We pull out blanks. Shooting blanks. No, we pull out. You pull out or you back up? What? Yeah.
00:47:27
Do I back up? Oh, do you back up? No, I'm Do you back up? He backs up.
00:47:32
No, I pull out. What do you Well, he usually falls out. I fall out. He'll fall right. Yeah, I slip out.
00:47:38
Yeah, I slip out. There's nothing to grab onto. That's good. Yeah. And I make a noise. I say
00:47:43
something. Usually, what is your favorite sex word? Excuse me.
00:47:48
What is your favorite sex word? Oh, is it excuse me? Could be. No, no, no. It could be.
00:47:53
Uh, my favorite sex word word. Phrase. Phrase. Dang, that hoochie is stinky.
00:47:58
Yeah. Dang, that hoochie is stinky. That's what you say. That's usually what That's my favorite sentence. Yeah.
00:48:04
Dang, that's hoochie is stink. What's yours? What's yours? Um,
00:48:09
I guess when I'm making love, it's like, uh, back that ass up. Back that ass up. Back that ass up. Yeah. I'll say that
00:48:15
pretty frequently to my wife. Yeah. Back that ass up. Yeah. Baby doll, back that ass up.
00:48:21
Yeah. Yeah. And then I'll give her a little Get over here. Back that ass up. Yeah. What do you say? Oh [ __ ]
00:48:27
Oh [ __ ] That's what you say. Oh [ __ ] Oh [ __ ] When you come Oh. Well, no. It's just like Oh [ __ ] Like
00:48:33
Oh [ __ ] What is the sound that you make when you orgasm people? Oh [ __ ] I really don't I really don't I don't make no orgasm cuz I trying to save the
00:48:39
energy. Right. Right. So you just you just you just look at them. No. Sometimes you have to close your
00:48:44
eyes. Oh, you close your eyes. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, I see that. Yeah.
00:48:51
Like that. Make no noise. Don't do no noise. Okay. Put your eyebrows down.
00:48:57
Can't. Like this? Yeah. Like that. [Laughter]
00:49:03
She going to think it stink if you look like that. Okay. Okay. Well, this is That's my face. Yeah. Yeah. It's a good bit.
00:49:09
Shut up. I tried. I tried. It's a good bit. All right. All right. If I can guess, can I guess? Are you a
00:49:15
car guy? No. You don't like car? You don't drive? I I do, but I don't care for cars. You don't care at all. What is it? What
00:49:21
is the thing you like the most? That's what's That's If I have a lot of money I can buy some I really I couldn't
00:49:28
even say cuz I didn't know I was going to have money to buy anything. So, And now you have it though. Yeah. But I just
00:49:34
I like to help people. That's beautiful. That's it. Oh, that's sweet. I don't really It's not something like, "Oh, I
00:49:40
knew I was going to get that or I want that." Like PlayStations, PS5s, and games. I played a lot of games.
00:49:46
He loves video games. I love video games. I used to be into like Wrestling Man and stuff. WWE was like
00:49:51
my thing. That was your [ __ ] Yeah. Who was your guy? Oh, I like Mankind cuz he had different
00:49:57
personalities, right? Yeah. Mick Foley, Hardcore, and he had different personalities. Right. Have you met any of your heroes?
00:50:04
Uh, I was upset when I found out Kane Undertaker wasn't brothers. Real brothers. And I was upset when the Dudley Boys
00:50:10
weren't real brothers. I thought they was real brothers. That [ __ ] you up a little. That [ __ ] you up. It's a lie. Yeah. Who who But who have you met that
00:50:16
surprised you the most? What's up? The Dudley Boys. Yeah, the Dudley Boys form. Who surprised you the most that you've met someone you go, "Wow, I really like
00:50:21
that person. I didn't know if I'd like them." Uh, yeah. I thought they was real brothers. Yeah.
00:50:26
What do you think gave it away that they weren't? Uh, just the way they dress.
00:50:32
Yeah. was it was just the energy. Yeah. The energy gave it away. Something in the room.
00:50:37
Yeah. What do you think about Diddy's uh 50-month sentence? Too much, too little.
00:50:42
I don't know. I don't get Come on. Don't Don't tell us what you feel. We know you
00:50:48
though. Let me tell y'all. Let me like Can y'all listen to what if you pull up anything about me?
00:50:53
I don't get into people business cuz look, right, when you get when you believe in God, God's going to handle the real thing.
00:50:59
Mhm. So I feel like when you living on this earth, people doing this and doing that, but it's only one answer and that's where he
00:51:05
going to decide. God's going to decide. Oh, that's really can't nobody ever outdo. I'll tell you the judge decided he
00:51:10
deserved 50 months. So that was that was the judge's opinion. Yeah. So if you were a jury member, what
00:51:15
would you have said? I'll be sleep. I got ADHD. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. Jury number 12 is asleep.
00:51:20
Read your DM read your DMs to Marco. He'd like to see how one of the exchanges goes with the girls.
00:51:26
Yeah. Here we go. With what? With any of the girls. He wants your game and we skip right over the game. Yeah. So, here's one. Can you read it
00:51:33
here? Yeah. Here we go. So, this one says, "Hey, Joselyn and Jocelyn wrote, "Hi, Bobby." And that was
00:51:41
uh that was it. That was the last time they talked. That was it. So, that was that one. Can you write her back?
00:51:46
Here's another one. Uh Bobby, hey, you in LA? Uh a day later. Sorry, barely
00:51:53
checked notifications. Here for one more day. Do you come often to NYC? never responded. So, his game is tight.
00:52:02
Pretty tight. Pretty tight [ __ ] Why you don't respond? He gets really over it.
00:52:09
Yeah. If they if they live in in when when's the next time I'm going to be in NYC, this and that. I just like, you
00:52:14
know, if you're in town, you're in LA, then I'll take you out, whatever. But other than that, nah. You know.
00:52:21
Yeah. All these you stopped responding to literally all of these women and four of them sent the eye emoji like this.
00:52:27
You know the double eyes. Where are you? Yeah. I mean this has gotten really bad. I'm actually shocked. Darn. Come back.
00:52:33
Please come back. Um okay. One more. Okay. Anything real? Yeah. Hey, how are you? Hey Bobby, how
00:52:40
are you? Uh and then literally a month later she goes, "Okay, well I'm on a show.
00:52:48
Would you like to give me some tips on being on camera? And you responded. What do you think you said? Nothing. Yeah, you said nothing. Yeah. One more
00:52:54
time. You said nothing. Pretty bad. So, what is it? Like, what is it? He's afraid of commitment. I'm not.
00:52:59
No, he really wants to commit. Again, I think he's just not interested in girls that aren't interesting. So, what do you feel like his type is?
00:53:06
Someone who's dynamic. Someone that's uh someone that's um is a dynamic personality. Someone that's got their own thing.
00:53:12
Their own thing going on. You know what I mean? You know, he likes women that like an arts and crafts store. Like how Roseanne was like Roseanne Bar. Just
00:53:19
like Roseanne Bar. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Style-wise. Style-wise, you know, fashion, from a fashion perspective, Roseanne is kind of like
00:53:25
the kind of girls you date. Yeah. Yeah. Cuz Roseanne I mean, this is kind of some of the stuff back then.
00:53:31
No, that's not big, beautiful blouses. Yeah. Yeah. I do. I do.
00:53:36
Always carrying laundry. Do you get along with her? Roseanne? Yeah. We've never met. We don't know each other.
00:53:41
Oh. Do you love her? I do love her some. Yeah. I don't know her. I mean, I have that story I told you. Do you remember her? Yes, I do. Yeah. Do you want to meet
00:53:47
Roseanne one day? I would like to meet Who's your comedy heroes? Who Who in comedy do you love? Steve Harvey. Uh,
00:53:52
we know that. Show me. I know. I like him for motivations. Yeah. Okay. Okay. But not the comedy. Okay.
00:53:58
Who do you like? I I didn't know he did stand up. No. He did for a long time. Yeah. I just thought he did motivation speak.
00:54:04
True. Who's your hero now? Uh, I love Dave Chappelle cuz he just
00:54:10
been Do you Have you met Dave? Uh, I met him through Dell Roan. Rolling. Yeah, we love Dell.
00:54:15
We love Dell. Yeah, he don't like you. Uh, wait, wait, wait, wait. Is that real?
00:54:20
Yeah. No, no, wait, wait, wait. Are you being real? How do you know this? No, I'm serious. He don't like you. Yeah. Yeah. But what did he say?
00:54:27
I'm not going to go back and forth about him. Yeah. Yeah. You just said you stay out of people's business, right?
00:54:32
I'm going to call him. Yeah, call Donnell. Yeah, I can't I can't We can't have this. I don't This is That hurts.
00:54:38
That hurts, dude. It's also late where he is, so he might not answer cuz it's got to be 1:00 in the morning now. Yeah,
00:54:44
if he's in New York. That really hurts that you said that cuz I thought we had something with him. Him.
00:54:50
Oh, he doesn't like Bobby. Oh, that's fine. Leave a message. No, no, no, no. He said he doesn't like you. I'm fine with that.
00:54:55
He did something about he was naked. Oh, yeah. What? That's insane.
00:55:02
What? I was naked. Are you being real right now? Funny. Marco, I'm saying he's like, "Yo, the dick son is stuck in my head, son."
00:55:08
Yeah. Oh. Oh, yeah son. Yeah. Yeah. That is what he says. Yeah. Yeah. That's out of control, dude.
00:55:13
Just type text him, "Do you not like me? Why don't you like me? Funny. Marco says, "Okay,
00:55:18
and say good night, boo." That is how you sign off. Don't have his number. He don't like me either. Why not?
00:55:23
He's just He It's just a different type of energy, but it's like a good like
00:55:28
Yeah. But he Can I just say though, he whenever I do see him, he does hug me. Yeah. That's just to like not come off
00:55:34
as racist. Yeah. Yeah. And then he goes, "Uh, you're a fool to me." You know, and he goes, "Get the [ __ ] out of here."
00:55:40
Right. That's that's telling you a lie. That's telling me a lie. Okay. That's not good. Not good. Do you think he's racist underneath it all?
00:55:47
No, he's not. Mm-m. Are you racist? Nuh-uh. Not even a little bit, Marco.
00:55:53
Come on. No. Just a little. I mean, what is racist? You know. Yeah. No. Tell me. Bring up some pictures.
00:56:00
Yeah. Let me know cuz I y'all can tell me something new. So, racism and the NFL is actively
00:56:06
fighting it right now as I may. So, like not I I not liking a group of
00:56:11
people cuz what they look like. Well, practice discrimination or just individual community or institution against a person people based on their
00:56:18
membership a particular racial ethnic group typically. Yeah. No. No. You don't like even
00:56:23
I I go off of people off the experience that I meet them. Everybody's different. That's great. Yeah. That's the good way to be.
00:56:29
I really don't. Cuz if you took away color, then what? What do you mean? If everybody was the
00:56:34
same color, then what? If the world was black and white, right, then it's still We'd still Yeah. That's what I'm saying.
00:56:40
He'll probably be eliminated. But what I'm saying is limited. Yeah. What
00:56:46
I like that you're writing stuff down. Here's what it is, though. Yeah. I I don't know if funny Marco likes me. He loves you. I do.
00:56:51
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I told you I love Hangover. See, that's what I mean. It's that kind of stuff. I don't know what you mean.
00:56:57
Well, he knows I'm not in Hangover. No, he does. He's not You're not in Hangover. No, I'm not in Hangover, dude.
00:57:02
That's Ken Jung.
00:57:07
Oh my god. Well, Was you on Mad TV?
00:57:12
Yes. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Same like you. See? Yeah. Yeah. But you think we're the same guy? I thought it was.
00:57:18
No. Now, now based on this photo, do you know that that's that's not me? I know you on Matt TV.
00:57:23
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You had like screen time. Yeah. I was on the show. Yeah.
00:57:28
Yeah. I had screen time. Wow. You How old are you? 54. I already told you. Are you like You sure?
00:57:34
Yeah. Matt TV is like How old was you when Matt TV was I was 30. Oh,
00:57:39
24 years ago. You remember it? I do. I remember it very well. Who's the guy that was uh the the guy
00:57:45
that Stop Stewart? Yeah, Michael McDonald. Yeah, good friend of ours.
00:57:50
Good friend of ours. He's around. He's still He's doing great. He works. He's directing a lot. He's a director. I think they should
00:57:56
bring it back. Yeah, we do too. Yeah, we do too. We could use I don't know what it was about. I just remember watching it as a kid and it was
00:58:01
just sketch. Just a sketch show. A great Like, do you like Saturday Night Live or No, I think Matt TV was better.
00:58:07
Yeah. Thank you so much. It went well. Matt TV was more fun. Matt TV. You had some writing to do on there? I did some writing. Yeah. Yeah.
00:58:14
No, I did. No, actually I did. He did. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he did. Why did he do that? No. No, he did. No. Why did he do that, though?
00:58:19
He did. He did. He wrote a lot. No, no, no. I didn't write a lot, but I did write some stuff. Why did he do that? He writes some stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:58:25
Hot dog. And your last name is Lee. Lee? Yeah. Okay. You guys are really pissing me off
00:58:31
today. Well, keep writing it down. Maybe it'll come to fruition. What? Where'd you get your last name from?
00:58:38
It's a good question. That's the craziest.
00:58:43
It makes sense. Yeah. Well, my father Bruce had Lee. Right. Right. And I just, you know, when he
00:58:49
gave birth to me, I just took on the family name. The Korean surname Lee originates from the Chinese character for plum.
00:58:55
Yeah. Which is the shape of my testicle. You don't think that's racist for them
00:59:01
to have that? No. No. No. No. Cuz that's real. Okay. The the name of the le the Chinese origin deliver from the character meaning plum
00:59:07
or plum tree. It's actually pretty beautiful. Yeah, that's actually beautiful. It is beautiful.
00:59:14
I'm a plum dude. Like you would love to have like you sound respectable because Lee is very it's it's it's one syllable. It's quick. Lee.
00:59:20
Yeah. Yeah. You get married. Do you give your name up? No. No. My wife would take on my name.
00:59:26
No. Do you want her name? It doesn't I I don't know what her last name Give me give me an example of what her last name would be.
00:59:32
Henderson. What? Henderson. Henderson. Yeah. Margaret Bobby Henderson. Bobby Henderson.
00:59:37
Yeah. I I like that. I like that a lot. Like Ricky Henderson. Yeah. Would you change your last name?
00:59:43
Would you change your last name? I'm going to ask you a question. No. No. Why? Why? Why can't I ask you? You can. I'm going to answer it first. Okay. Go ahead.
00:59:48
I mean, I'm going answer it second. Um, what do you sound Henderson sound like? What race would you put that with?
00:59:54
Henderson. Let me see. That's a Henderson. Henderson.
01:00:00
Henderson. Henderson. What race would you feel? it. White. Okay. Ricky Henderson was black. Great
01:00:05
baseball player. Yeah. Really? Ricky Henderson was black. Yeah. It's a black last name. It is. It's a black last name.
01:00:11
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Henderson. It says right there. AI. The surname Henderson is only for black people.
01:00:16
Says it right there in AI. Originates from the Germanic given name Henry, meaning home ruler. It's a
01:00:22
patronomic name meaning Scottish son of Henry. It's a prominent Scottish surname. Cuz the movie Harry and the Henderson,
01:00:29
it's not a bunch of [ __ ] black people. It should have been. I know. Look, go Google Harry and the
01:00:35
Once again, Hollywood doing their thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Harry and the Henderson taking roles away. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
01:00:41
So, let me say something. Are you in that? Oh my god. Yeah. That's the Hendersons, dude.
01:00:46
Let's tread lightly here. Okay. Why? Yeah. Let's tread lightly. Why tread lightly?
01:00:52
Let's tread lightly here. It's crazy. Yeah, it's crazy for you to bring that up. Let's just tread.
01:00:57
Why? Cuz there's a white gorilla in it. Uh, let's try it as lightly as we possibly can. Oh, wow.
01:01:02
You know, let's really let's let's dance on the on the surface. Let's do the Jesus lizard and dance right across the
01:01:08
water and not even touch it. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right. You're right. Point taken. By the way, Harry is the dog. That's the
01:01:15
biggest bit about this whole thing. That's the fun part. And that's John Henderson. Did you ever see that movie? I have not. You need to watch that.
01:01:20
Does it seem scary? No, it don't seem scary. It seemed very relaxing. Yeah. Yeah. This is actually a story about immigration. That that whole thing.
01:01:26
That's what that really was about. Yeah. Bring up Ricky Henderson, the baseball player. One of the one of the greatest of all time. So this it so it
01:01:32
was a black name then. So maybe it changes. It changes. There he is. Ricky the dog.
01:01:38
Oh [ __ ] One of the best. Rest in peace. He passed. 2021 maybe. When did he die? 2024. Oh my
01:01:46
god. God, it was that recent short years. Just last name. Would you change your last name? Uh I got two last names. Okay.
01:01:53
Henderson and Summers. Oh, Summer. I'll go back and forth. But if you met a woman and she's like, "You need to have my last name."
01:01:59
Would you do it? Well, how you talking? It sound like it's going to be a Lee. No, my last name. Hoorito.
01:02:05
I could take it. Okay. Yeah. Horriito. Yeah. Horrito. I like that. Okay, good. Yeah, I would take that last name.
01:02:11
Okay, cool. See, I think when you get married, you should you guys should make up a new last name. That's my theory. That's dope. They should just make up a new last
01:02:17
name. It's a new family. Oh, this is fun. You come up with half and then you finish it. Right. Right. So, go ahead.
01:02:23
Which one? A last name. Yeah, just start a last name and he's going to finish it.
01:02:28
You can create a new last name. Half of a last name. Go ahead and go. Funny, Marco.
01:02:34
So, start a half of a last name. Funny. What the [ __ ] I'm I'm I'm I'm It's coming to me. Okay.
01:02:40
Her gazer. Her gazer. Her gazer. Love this game. You didn't do her like
01:02:46
h herzen or nothing? No. Her gazer. Yeah. Hey man, you do your thing. I do mine. Yeah.
01:02:52
I'll give you one and you finish it. I want to play. Okay, sit this one out. Okay.
01:02:57
No. Okay. Ready? I'll give you one. Yeah. Yeah. Shan penis. Shan penis.
01:03:03
I did know that was going to go that way. Hey, give me another one. Real see that coming. Yeah. Give me I'll Let's be real. I'll
01:03:09
do it real. Bane Merkel. Bane Merkel. Yeah. Mr. and Mrs. Bane Merkel. Why you say Maul like that?
01:03:15
Yeah. It's got It's sort of an Scottish twang. That's Scottish English is your second
01:03:20
language. Yeah. Yeah. What do you feel like when you when you're on stage? Do y'all sometimes have
01:03:26
a moment where it just seems so like you could just it's like it just in the Matrix something just hit you like god
01:03:31
damn I'm really on stage like sometimes matrix moment where you kind of feel surreal where you
01:03:37
don't even like oh my god like you just like a tunnel where you just go yeah that's kind of how it feels sometimes
01:03:44
and then I wake up I'm in a pod dripping wet dripping wet in a pod.
01:03:51
National fantasies. I'm talking about real life. Real life. I got to tell you, 18 coughs later,
01:03:56
you're definitely sick. There's no chance. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're We're Dude, you know, Okay, let me say something. You know,
01:04:02
we're going to get We're going to get sick. No, it's Okay, so I have mucus and it's coming out.
01:04:07
Yeah, that's when you're sick. Yeah, that's sick. It's not. It's mucus. It's It's allergy mucus. Allergy mucus. How often does allergies
01:04:14
uh create a cough? Uh I only cough 17 times since I've been here.
01:04:19
Yeah. Yeah. 17 or 18? Yeah. How long are you have you been sick? How long? About 2 months.
01:04:24
Oh, okay. Why you laugh? Oh, just cuz it that's a big sickness.
01:04:30
Two months is longer than it should be. No, it ain't. That's like normal. Average sickness. What are your symptoms right now? Sore
01:04:36
throat. Uh, no. My throat's What's your manager's name again? Jackie. Jackie.
01:04:42
Is he sick? He has allergies. Yeah, good manager.
01:04:47
That's a really good manager. Good. Good [ __ ] manager. Uh, can I ask you a question? Cuz I was arguing with my brother about this. I I stopped
01:04:53
wearing pull-ups at the age six going on seven. When did y'all stop diapers? Pull-ups.
01:04:58
Same thing. I think you piss in those. Yes. Yeah, those are diapers. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
01:05:03
Uh, oh. What's the normal age to get out of to get out of diapers?
01:05:09
I was three. I was probably around three or four, right? Yeah. Yeah. I was six going on seven. Did you wet the bed as a kid?
01:05:14
I had a pull-up on. But when after that Yeah. But did you pee in the pull-up while you were in bed?
01:05:20
No. No. After you were six, did you wet the bed? [ __ ] or pee? You did you have a bed wedding problem at all as a kid? No. After I got out the pull-ups at 61
01:05:26
or seven, you were straight. But I thought that's the average age. What's What's the average age to get out
01:05:32
of diapers? Between two and three. When do people get out of diapers? Two. Maybe three sounds right. Four is a late
01:05:39
That's a late bloomer. Funny funny Margaret. Do you ever [ __ ] your pants?
01:05:44
Uh well, I guess you know, shard it before. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I meant. I was trying to show out and try to
01:05:49
fart, but yeah, that was it. So, okay. When's the last time it happened? I don't do that no more.
01:05:55
Okay. Two and four. Write that down. I was right. Two and four is about right. So, why did I Why are they six and
01:06:01
seven? I don't know. Maybe underdeveloped. Well, maybe maybe you needed an a little bit extra time.
01:06:06
Some people need a little bit more time. Normal schools, too. Normal schools. Yeah. You mean you mean like um
01:06:12
Yeah. Were we slow? Are we slow? I wouldn't call it slow. We didn't. We went. Did you need special attention?
01:06:18
We did. Yeah. Yeah. Did you? Yeah. Yeah, we did. You really didn't need special attention.
01:06:23
Like what what kind? Well, I was in a program called CARE.
01:06:28
CARE stands for children and and
01:06:33
real experts, something. So, there's an alternative school for those that learn different. Correct. That's kind of what it is.
01:06:39
Yeah. Yeah. The Oh, [ __ ] Y'all been having headphones the whole time. Y'all can hear me? Yeah.
01:06:45
Can you hear us? No, y'all didn't. Yeah, I'm saying y Do you want them? They're right here. Oh, y'all didn't tell me. We have them, but you've been doing so
01:06:51
fine without them. Do you want them? I mean, y'all didn't tell me. But you look good. We didn't want to [ __ ] up your hat. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. You got [ __ ] in here.
01:06:58
Yeah. Pussi in this [ __ ] Yeah. Try them. I just didn't want to [ __ ] up your hat. Let's try them.
01:07:03
Does that sound better now? Yeah. Better. Okay. You want to keep them on? Yeah. I like them. Okay.
01:07:08
God bless. God bless you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Strip clubs are big in Atlanta. Do you go to those? Yeah. Yeah, you got a support strip
01:07:14
club. You have to. What's your favorite one? Uh, I like Blue Flame. You got Magic City. Magic City is pretty standard. Yeah.
01:07:20
Blue Flame though. Blue Flame. Yeah. Do you are Do you befriend the dancers? Do you know them personally? Uh, yeah. I get to hear their story. Why
01:07:26
they ended up there? If they dad know, they why they in here? That's the first question I ask. Do your mom know you do this?
01:07:31
And what do they say usually? Uh, why would you ask that? Right.
01:07:38
And what do you say in return? I just want to know kind of like, you know, getting to know their background, right? It's important.
01:07:43
Have you ever dated a stripper? Uh, yeah. You have? Yeah. More than one?
01:07:49
I had one solid one. Yeah. One s one good one from the flame. Father is suing Atlanta gentleman's club
01:07:54
after son is shot dead outside of blue flame. Deshawn Maris Lee. Ah, what do you know?
01:08:01
Deshawn Maris Lee Hendren. Now, this is a guy that took a few last names. Yeah.
01:08:07
after a fight inside the Blue Flame Lounge spilled into the nearby parking lot. When was this shooting? Trust me, it's a good club. Yeah, I know. It was a long time ago.
01:08:13
Look at that. Three years ago. Three years ago. That's That's so far removed. RP to him, too. Yeah. RP to that gentleman. That's terrible.
01:08:20
The Blue Flame Lounge, though. They have $5 pancakes. Wow. Not bad. Have you had the food there?
01:08:26
Uh, no. Okay. Only eat food from like, you know, everywhere. Where do you get food from then?
01:08:32
Uh, Papados. Only Papados. And then do you cook at Do you cook at home? Yeah, I cook at home. I like cooking.
01:08:38
You do? Yeah. What would you make us if we came over? We came over. What was that? I make some fried chicken. Okay. Mhm.
01:08:43
Okay. Sorry, I shouldn't have went that deep. Um, fried chicken. Yeah, fried chicken with some uh fries.
01:08:49
French fries. Yeah. Anything else? Some ketchup and hot sauce. Yeah, ketchup and hot sauce. What? Salad or
01:08:55
what are you drinking? Liquor. No liquor. Okay. Are you a drinker? No, I drink my car. Lemonade.
01:09:02
Right. That's it. Do you get high? No, I don't like coughing, right? No drugs.
01:09:08
Just I smoked before, but it was hard to cough. Like I did edible before and it was just like
01:09:14
that was just Oh [ __ ] So you you're no more of that. Yeah, this is edibles. Yeah. And that was like powerful.
01:09:19
It's heavy. Those are powerful. Yeah, they're heavy. But Mike's hard lemonade you like. Yeah, that those get me on buzz.
01:09:25
I like those sometimes. Three of those. Three of those in your set. Yeah. I used to drink those in high school all
01:09:30
the time. Why you say it like that? I used to drink them in school all the time. I know. But why you say like I used to?
01:09:36
Cuz I don't do it anymore. Oh, it's past tense. They're too sweet for me. Yeah. When you get older, you start to
01:09:42
feel that way. Yeah. Sugar. Too much sugar. Like you don't like desserts. Like I don't like lemonade. Yeah. How old are you? We don't know how
01:09:47
old you are. I'm 32. Okay. Yeah. You said like he wasn't going to answer.
01:09:52
I love you like a backup quarterback. I love you. I look like a backup quarterback. I'll take that. You do look like a backup quarterback.
01:09:59
I'll take that. What do I look like? Uh what's his name? Rush. If y'all look up uh look up the Baltimore quarterback
01:10:04
right now. Oh yeah, that's right. I got tagged a lot online by that guy. People said I look like that guy.
01:10:10
Man, you are sick. I'm not. There's no way that's There I am. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's you.
01:10:16
That's [ __ ] awesome. What do I do? Me, do me now. Uh Bob doesn't know that's not an insult.
01:10:21
He's That's fantastic to be in the NFL. Do I look I look like I'm in the [ __ ] NFL? That's a good That's a good thing.
01:10:27
Huge. And you still going like you smart. Yeah. Watch what he gives me now. What does he has hella interceptions?
01:10:32
Oh, what does what does he look like? Uh, type in Panda Panda Express. Panda Express
01:10:38
workers. Not going to lie, you do look like three of the the five.
01:10:43
Oh, that's a Mexican woman. That's a Mexican woman. Or maybe the owners. Yeah. Yeah. Look. Is that Is that Mr. Express right there?
01:10:50
Do you own Look, do you know why I never seen a black Chinese worker? Like I mean,
01:10:56
I never seen a black person working at a Chinese restaurant. Why? Ah, is why not?
01:11:01
Why isn't there not a black person working at a Chinese restaurant? Yeah, they don't hire. I asked for application before. They didn't give me
01:11:06
You wanted to work at Panda Express? Not that one. No, they hire black people. A Chinese restaurant. Like like if you walked into a soul food
01:11:12
restaurant, you don't want to see white people back there working. Yeah. It happened.
01:11:18
Really? If you saw an Asian guy, do you want some grit? You want color
01:11:24
green? You would you wouldn't like it. It It happened. Huh? It happened at Papa's churches.
01:11:31
No, no, no. That's fast food. That's different. He's talking about like a family-owned restaurant is different. Cuz I guarantee you there's a black guy
01:11:36
that works at a Panda Express. I bet my life on Yeah, it is. Yeah. But at a family-owned restaurant, Yeah. you're No, you're not.
01:11:42
You're not going to get that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like a Cracker Barrel. Yeah. My parents own a couple Cracker Barrels.
01:11:48
Yeah. We won't hire anybody but Crackers. And they kept the barrel and that man on the sign. They went for years. They were
01:11:53
And they better bring it back. Yeah. Yeah. Donald Trump. Have you been to Cracker Barrel? Uh, no. I've never been there. Yeah,
01:11:58
it's great breakfast. You like breakfast? Uh, I really don't eat breakfast. I told
01:12:04
you you don't eat anything. I eat I eat at night at late at night. Are you having fun?
01:12:09
Yeah. I got to learn a lot about y'all. And this is a moment cuz everybody in this room is going to die
01:12:16
eventually. But we created a moment. We did. We did. I think we did. I'd like to not die. We came inside each other. I came
01:12:22
inside the room. We came inside the room. I think that part's true. That part's not true. that part.
01:12:27
Okay. That is I'm saying like like from spiritually hearing you spiritually we did com I think our
01:12:33
energies combined. Yeah. But it came inside. I don't think so. I think our energies met uh my energy came inside you. I thought
01:12:39
that I could feel it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I could feel it too, you know. And I don't feel it. I didn't pull out. I feel it.
01:12:44
Yeah. I didn't pull out. No, it's always going to stick on me. Yeah. Yeah. It's going to stick inside you. I'm going to go and go to YouTube and
01:12:51
I'm going to watch Matt TV tonight. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to watch your videos. Will you show it to your son tomorrow?
01:12:56
What? What? The Matt TV? Yeah. Show your son Mad TV. Uh, why not? How many What skits? What's the skit
01:13:03
that you in that you remember that was big? What's the one that you did? I did. I did a punch, but I don't know. What was the big one? Like you like this
01:13:08
is a good one. I did. Uh, no. Don't do Oh, um Oh, hot dog was huge. North Korean Scientist was big.
01:13:15
North Korean Scientist. US Connie Chong was big. No, North Korean Scientist is my biggest one. Yeah, that one was
01:13:20
That's me and my brother Steve. Huge. Yeah, that was a great one. You was in Pineapple, Bryce.
01:13:26
I had one line in that. Yes. He was in it. Yeah. How do you remember?
01:13:32
He was in the van in one cutaway scene. Yeah. Yeah. And And that was me and the guy from Hangover.
01:13:37
And that's why he confused you. That does make sense. That's what I say. I I I You know, they're almost one and the same.
01:13:43
They're one and the same. Yeah. That's you, right? Do you have any? Yeah, it is me. Yeah, there there I am again. Marco, do you have any burning questions
01:13:48
to ask us before we end this interview? I don't burn. Oh, no. I'm uh Do you have any honest questions to ask us before we end?
01:13:55
Uh what do you see yourself in like, you know, like 20 years? Where do you see yourself?
01:14:00
H Well, I'll be 74. I just feel like I'll be on a beach somewhere tanning, drinking some sweet
01:14:06
drink, you know, getting my dick sucked. I'll be 60.
01:14:14
62. I want to say um You think I'll be dead? Yeah.
01:14:19
62. 62. Um, I'll be living in the in the woods in Canada somewhere.
01:14:24
So, he's going to be out of your life for sure. 100%. Yeah. This is only going to last a couple years. We got to enjoy these moments.
01:14:29
That's what I mean. He'll be writing his manifesto, right? He's going to make things. Send it in the mail.
01:14:34
Yeah. I won't send it to you though. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. But some of some people Yeah. I don't check my mailbox.
01:14:41
Please don't. Yeah. And then, um, where are you going to be in 20 years? Uh, [ __ ]
01:14:47
You'll be 52. I won't be 52. I'm 32 now. I'll probably What? 20 years I
01:14:52
52. I'll be what? 42. 42. 52. Oh, same. 52. Same thing. It's pretty close.
01:14:58
You'll be almost his age. In 20 years, you'll still be younger than Bob. I want to be living in a That's crazy to think.
01:15:04
Yeah, it's gross. Yeah, it's gross. That's weird. Yeah. I'll probably just be living in I want like a dope
01:15:09
adobe treehouse. A dope treehouse. Yeah. Yeah. Would you build it? No. Hell no. No. Probably pay somebody to do it.
01:15:16
Yeah. This is I don't You're emotionally healthy. Yeah, this is okay. I get I probably get mad two times a month.
01:15:21
What do you get mad about? Probably getting Madden. [ __ ] up my record.
01:15:26
Matt get in in Madden. Yeah. Yeah. Uh that'll set you off a little bit.
01:15:31
Just that. Uh what team do you play with in Madden? I play I was playing with the Chiefs. It's all to play with, but I play with
01:15:37
Philadelphia Eagles because Eagles cuz they're cheap. Because they cheat. Yeah, I don't like
01:15:42
the Eagles, but But you play them. They got a good squad.
01:15:49
Yeah, they do. But the Chiefs are going back to Subo. You think so? I know so. You do?
01:15:54
Yeah. Interesting. You heard it here. It's part of the story line. It is part of the story line. Yeah. They need to go back.
01:16:00
Yeah. Okay. I believe in you. Funny. Marco, it's been more than a
01:16:05
pleasure to have you on my birthday to every [ __ ] guest. No, no, no, no. It's been more than a pleasure to have you on my birthday episode. Oh wow.
01:16:11
This is this has been an actual great birthday and I will get sick.
01:16:16
Hurrah. Hurrah. Hurrah. I got cake here. Yeah. Do we have what? Cake and ice cream. Do
01:16:22
they bring it out right now? We already did that. You said you don't want You don't want tirams misu. Yeah. Is it vanilla? Tiramisu. Tiramisu.
01:16:28
Yeah. Yeah. Is it chocolate or vanilla? Got all of it in there. Got all of it. You want to try it? You want It's all of it in there.
01:16:34
Give it mix. Huh? You don't like to mix? Just try a piece. I like stuff straight up. You have
01:16:40
multicultural babies. You definitely like to mix. Okay. Am I wrong? Yeah. You have multicultural children, so you
01:16:47
love to mix. Is that wrong? You're right. Yeah. You want one up? Beautiful babies.
01:16:52
Yeah. Take me through there. See, thank you for watching. Being a bad friend.
01:17:05
Yeah. Woo.
01:17:12
[Music]
