00:00:00
Hey. Hey. Oh, look at what goes on my feet. Look at what goes on my hand hands and my body. And look what goes on our head.
00:00:06
Yeah. And my head. We got new merch. New socks and shirts. It's been a long time since we've made merch. But we really love this drop.
00:00:11
That's why we did it. We waited. We We think this is We got so cool. Baseball caps. Baseball caps.
00:00:16
The t-shirts. We have the thank you t-shirts and socks. And we have socks. Available right now at badfriend.com.
00:00:22
Don't go through the rivers and the light and the
00:00:28
sea. I know that you're going to have it your way or nothing at all, but I think
00:00:36
you're moving too fast. You know the whole lyric, huh? I have no idea. I seen the rainbow yesterday and so many
00:00:43
you know you know that song. What? I got you a gift to start the show.
00:00:50
Gift gift. I have no gift. Dun. Well, last time you
00:00:56
told us about how much your new hobby has enthralled you. And although we couldn't get you exactly what I thought
00:01:02
we were supposed to get you, we got you something else. Who did it? Yay. What size are they?
00:01:07
Your size? Nine. Nine, baby. They're nice. You like these? I love Europa.
00:01:13
These are the Europa Track Control. These are the grippers. This was Who are there that they wore and then
00:01:19
they didn't want to wear anymore? No, this was a 14-year-old boy who lives in Burbank. That's what we got them from. No, really.
00:01:25
Yeah, but they're yours now, dog. Thanks a lot. And look at the rubber's worn out on the brakes.
00:01:30
Do they work though? Do they work? Well, they don't break unless like the wheels don't work, but of course they work. Strap up and rock
00:01:36
out. You want to take a break and roll around the parking lot for a minute? $11.99. That's how much they were.
00:01:41
Mhm. $11.99. What would you like them to be? $300.
00:01:47
300? Why? I want the high-tech versions of them. Those are the highest tech. No, dude. I can go online right now and
00:01:52
get a higher tech. It's last year's model. Is it really? Yeah. That kid was ripping.
00:01:58
Oh, I don't like it. Come on, put them on. Was it? Put them on and rip around the neighborhood for one minute, please.
00:02:04
It would really help me out. Really? Yeah. I'm having a tough day. I need a good day. All right. Hell yeah.
00:02:10
You're being real? Yes. I wipe out. I swear to God. You're not going to wipe out.
00:02:18
[Music]
00:02:31
[Music]
00:02:37
Jump something. Jump something. [Music]
00:02:45
Dude, he's doing a move. Just doing the helock.
00:02:55
Jump over the yellow. Jump over the yellows.
00:03:00
[Music]
00:03:06
You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? A white dude and an Asian dude. You two
00:03:13
are disgusting. You two are something. We're bad friends.
00:03:18
Put your computer up there. Yeah. No brain cover again. Yeah, those are gone. Um I don't think
00:03:24
we have ice here. I think you have to go get ice. You okay, bot?
00:03:31
Who has that clip of him falling? That's all I heard you laughing. No. And that makes me realize that we
00:03:39
don't have the friendship that we have. Not true. I ran. I said, "Are you okay?" Then I turned and saw Oh, you said okay. And then you cackle like a hyena.
00:03:44
We We have the footage if you want to rewind it. We can actually watch what happened is you fell. I go, "Oh my god, is he okay?" And then I turn my head
00:03:50
while we were coming over to you and those two Mexican guys are dying laughing. And I mean dying laughing. Am
00:03:56
I wrong? Do you have audio on that? See if [ __ ] my friend my supposed friend cackling like a hyena.
00:04:04
Jump over. Oh, you jump over. You said jump over. No, he said it. No, you said
00:04:12
wait. Stop. Stop. Stop. That wasn't Mexicans
00:04:18
laughing. You left as soon as the fall happened. You piece of [ __ ] dude.
00:04:23
There was no No. Rewind it. Look to my right. To my right. It's an Irish Irish
00:04:29
laughter. To my right. You didn't even look right.
00:04:35
He's looking for He's looking. You left and then you looked.
00:04:41
You left and then you looked. You piece of [ __ ] dude. That's not cool, dude. Are you okay?
00:04:46
Are you Oh my I said are you okay in laughing? Watch. Listen to the rest.
00:04:52
Are you okay? Are you okay? Honestly concerned.
00:04:57
[ __ ] We said our hands on hips. Nervous.
00:05:06
Carlos laugh. See see it's all Are you okay?
00:05:12
[Laughter] Look at the Mexicans. Look at
00:05:21
Look at the Mexican dudes laughing. Look. Look. He's right there, dude. I know. But,
00:05:34
dude, look at him laughing. Look at these Mexican guys laughing. Trump, do your job, Trump. I get these
00:05:41
guys. They're cracking the [ __ ] up. No, wait. Zoom at that guy right now. Freeze.
00:05:47
Zoom in on the other guy. Okay. From what I see, there's two of them. He ain't laughing, dog.
00:05:52
Yes, he 100% he's laughing. Yes, he was. Everybody saw it. Wait, go back to the fall, though. Oh my [ __ ] god, dude.
00:05:59
Here. We have this different angle. Two angles.
00:06:04
Wait. This is what? Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god.
00:06:13
Are you okay? That's the first thing you hear. Feel my [ __ ] finger. Well, I asked, "Are you okay?" I'm the first one.
00:06:19
Are you okay? In a laughing hyena style laugh, dude. Rewind the laughter. Three. Are you okay?
00:06:26
Get the audio up, dude. So many are you okays? Shut the [ __ ] up, dude. Dude, you're a
00:06:31
piece of [ __ ] So many are you? You're not a friend of mine. You okay, Bob? Volume. See? Are you okay, Bob? We're concerned.
00:06:37
Go right to that fall again. You go back. All right, everybody. Don't laugh. Don't laugh. When the fall happens, do not laugh.
00:06:45
If you smile, I will literally No. Put your shirt down. Any of you you guys smile, I'm
00:06:54
Dude, I'm I'm going to leave. I really am going to leave. If you guys laugh, you're going to go
00:06:59
you're going to get deep [ __ ] No more. I'm not even [ __ ] kidding.
00:07:06
Bob, hold on. Stop. Play the video and if anybody in the
00:07:11
[ __ ] booth laughs, get fired. Any enthusiasm or you can't cover your mouth. [ __ ]
00:07:17
nothing. Show your face, you cowards. All right, go. Oh my god.
00:07:23
Oh my god. Oh no.
00:07:30
Carlos, you're fired. Are you okay? God, are you not? See, look. And I'm concerned. Are you
00:07:36
okay? Five. Are you okay? Why are you crying? Cuz I'm sad. You got hurt.
00:07:42
[ __ ] I'm laughing at a joke. Not you. One more for the other angle. You okay?
00:07:47
Hold on. I have a third. There's a third angle. Hold on. Play this out. Yeah.
00:07:53
Oh my god. See? Fancy smiling. Yeah. I need um Funny, dude. No, these guys are looking at me.
00:08:00
The Mexicans, dude. Man, did you break your wrist? I think I did. I'm sorry, dude. Those guys are
00:08:08
Dude, dude, you literally aren't a friend of mine. It's so sad. It's so [ __ ] sad.
00:08:13
Those guys are laughing and it made me laugh. No, dude. You laughed at impact. That's not true. We just watched it
00:08:19
again. I didn't crack I didn't crack a smile. Watch the first one again. Watch the first one and I won't laugh. Okay, watch.
00:08:24
Watch. Listen to right when I fall. Jump over the curb. Jump over one of the yellow ones. You're the one. You're the [ __ ] dick.
00:08:31
Pause. Pause it. Jump over the curb. Start it over. Mone yells. It doesn't matter. jump over the curb. And I go, "Yeah, jump over the curb." I
00:08:38
repeat what you said. Am I That is true. I'm a bit of a jump inside the volcano. Yeah, jump inside the volcano. It's cool, dude.
00:08:44
I thought it'd be cool if you jumped over the volcano. You went in. Okay, go ahead. He didn't even get near the
00:08:51
See, he just said jump over the yellow one. Go to the yellow ones. Jump over.
00:09:06
[ __ ] you. Stop it. Sit down. Please sit. Dude, let's move forward. That's insane.
00:09:12
Look, we all learned a lesson. No more gifts. M this was this was retaliation if I'm
00:09:19
being honest from how much my heart hurt when I bought you those Arsenal shoes and you didn't like them.
00:09:24
That's kind of what this and I knew that you'd fall on these and I bought them knowing you'd fall.
00:09:30
Yeah. One Christmas you I bought probably $400 or $5,000 worth of gifts to you. And yours is worth what $300. We can get
00:09:37
into a little I've gotten I've given you more gifts consistently than you've ever given me. And the and I do it in chunks. In big chunks.
00:09:42
You do it once. You did it one time. Yeah. Oh my god. I'm sorry that you feel bad. You need to put ice on your hand again, though. Yeah,
00:09:47
you just ice it. Oh my god, that was terrible, dude. Anyway, that's not what it's like when you go to
00:09:53
the roller rink. No, it's way more smooth. You don't go to It's not bumpy. It's Well, chiseled chiseled uh concrete is
00:10:01
not the move. I was doing some moves out there even, too. It looked good. Yeah, I was I was slicing it out and everything too. And then the middle part
00:10:07
of the thing I can handle. But when it got bumpy and when I heard the little weasel go, "Jump out of the curb. Jump
00:10:14
over the yellow thing, bud." That was him. Yeah. Jump over the yellow thing, buddy.
00:10:19
Yeah. He was influ He was instigating. You weren't even attempting to jump, but you just fell in the middle. Yeah. I'm not a [ __ ] professional
00:10:24
rollerblader, dude. Not anymore. Yeah. So, I think even me saying that is ultimately irrelevant cuz you you didn't
00:10:30
even you didn't hurt yourself jumping over the yellow thing. You just couldn't even get over the middle of the street. Oh my god. Don't. Please don't.
00:10:36
Oh my god. We're done. We're done. No. No. No. Please.
00:10:49
Throw a [ __ ] punch. Okay. You're [ __ ] attitude. You know, I got to tell you something.
00:10:54
Can I tell you something? Why I love you so much? Shut up. I was having a real real bad day. [ __ ] off. Okay. Do you want do you want you want
00:11:00
me to love with you for real? My dad had a heart attack last night. Jesus. And he's in the hospital. So, I was
00:11:05
having a crazy day. Which one? What do you mean which one? Stepdad or real dad? My real father.
00:11:11
Okay. What is that?
00:11:17
You laugh now. See? The one that abandoned you. And see, you laugh. Yeah. Yeah. The reason that you laugh it again.
00:11:22
The reason you laugh is why I laugh when you fall on roller blades. Say it again.
00:11:29
My father had a heart attack last night. Hey, you think it's funny? See, now are we even now? Now we're
00:11:36
even. Oh, is he okay? He is okay. Really? You going to be okay, though? We'll find out.
00:11:41
All right. Sorry. No, it's okay. But that's why I laugh at you when you fall cuz you're actually different. Cuz you're actually a bad person.
00:11:46
No, you're a terrible. Like you're genuinely a bad guy. You're a terrible human being. Well, you'll be hearing from somebody. Whom?
00:11:52
You can't even Your assistant can't even answer your text. What are you going to go get a [ __ ] lawyer? My So Andrew textes my existent
00:11:58
assistant on Monday. She doesn't reply until Friday. That's right. One week, right? I go, "Hey, what's Bobby's schedule?"
00:12:04
She has a [ __ ] you know, he has a [ __ ] storm. You know what I mean? In rage, right? To whom?
00:12:10
About my assistant. I didn't say anything bad to her. I just go, "Don't worry about it." No, you said great assistant.
00:12:15
Till when I called. Yeah. Five days. Right. And I called my 5 days. Yeah. Yeah. I called my assistant. I go,
00:12:21
"Great job. Continue the work, my friend." And then she texted me and was like,
00:12:26
"I'm so sorry. I'll never do this." You went camping? Yeah. And I She can't go camping. Brother, she's been camping.
00:12:35
Oh, is it another [ __ ] weight joke? What? I don't even know what she looks like. I've never seen her in my life.
00:12:41
Body shaming. You know what's interesting? I've never seen what she looks like. And here Bobby is saying how he feels.
00:12:46
So, you're saying you're projecting? No. Oh, interesting. I've never met this human in my life. I don't even know who it is.
00:12:52
It's an apparition. As far as I'm concerned, you've never met Melanie, my assistant. When would I have ever met [ __ ] Melanie? Well, then take that out.
00:12:59
[ __ ] you. No, that leaf stays in. You feel that way? Yeah, you do. You body shame people.
00:13:04
Never seen her in my life. Don't even know. By the way, as far as I'm concerned, she's chat TPT. I don't even
00:13:09
know if she's [ __ ] real. I've never even known this human to be real. Also, fat people don't camping.
00:13:15
Bam. Oh my god. Bam. Dude, this guy's
00:13:20
shooting the fat gun. Dude, put away your fat gun, dude. You asked me for restaurant
00:13:26
recommendations. Oh my god. Did I send you to a good spot? We can't go from negative to positive that quick.
00:13:32
That's the best part of the show. No, I don't like it. The part of the show. I can't change my quickly. You fault. You make fun of my dad that
00:13:38
has a heart attack. He's in the hospital right now. Like a little child at a park. Are you okay? Were you okay? Are you
00:13:45
okay from the fall? Is your daddy going to die? Maybe. Maybe. Huge difference between the two.
00:13:52
You falling in the parking lot. You Yeah. And you fell. You little fat jelly roll. Yeah. I got Now why? Now, how is it that
00:13:58
he's more mad than me? No, no, I'm not mad. If you shoot shoot at me, I'm going to shoot back. You shot at me first.
00:14:04
How? You gaggackling when I was falling. It's hilarious. It's hilarious. When a short little fat guy falls on
00:14:11
roller blades again to see if it's funny, huh? You want to watch it again? See if it's funny. No. See what I mean, dude?
00:14:18
Dude, it's funny. All right. It's [ __ ] This is inherently funny. Yeah. Yeah.
00:14:25
[Music] Oh no.
00:14:32
Oh no. Oh no. I fall. I fall. I fall on the
00:14:38
ground. I go for the yaro thing. I fall on the ground.
00:14:46
Laugh into the mic so we know you're laughing. Will you cut it out? Having a blast, God,
00:14:52
man. What a And a beautiful sunny day, no less. Yeah. Yeah. In front of my two favorite Mexicans.
00:14:59
Embarrassing. All right, jump to something fun. Imagine if they were like a group of like hot chicks.
00:15:05
I mean, come on. That that would have been so sad for me. No. No. See, I disagree. Hot chicks would have found it endearing that we
00:15:10
were having fun with it and they would have been like, "Are you okay? Are you okay?" No. They'd be, "Are you okay?"
00:15:16
No, it's not high school. That's why that's high school. What? They would have got the ick. They would
00:15:21
have got the it for sure if they were if they were a guy with no balance. People want balance. How about this?
00:15:27
Like what do they what they look for? A job. You know what I mean? Security. Balance. Look up traits that women love in men.
00:15:32
Balance is not on there. Yeah. Balance is on there, dude. No, it's not. Yeah. Traits that women love in men. Ready?
00:15:37
Confidence, kindness, intelligence, balance. Oh my god, it is. It's the fourth one. Yeah. Yeah. Sense of humor.
00:15:43
Sense of humor. See, you fell. We laughed. I know. But not does. It would give Right. Carlos back me up. Ickick.
00:15:48
Yeah, it's totally ick. If they're a producer ick not get a job. How about this? If you mean he's not going to be in [ __ ]
00:15:54
Commando 2. You mean he's got to run across a field with a [ __ ] M16. You know what the producers You know
00:16:01
what the producers of Karate Ghost? They'd be like, "We got to put this guy in the movie again." Look, you mid midair. You did a kick. You did a
00:16:06
karate. I didn't kick, dude. My leg both might have kicked out. Do women find it important for men to
00:16:11
have balance? Do women find it important for men to have balance? Find out. [ __ ]
00:16:17
There's a rock in there. Oh, there's a piece of skin. Yeah. You want some? No, thank you. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to put it on your body. All right. Now, punch you.
00:16:23
Why? I don't want your skin. Yeah. Put my skin on your body, dude. I don't want it. That makes That's blood, brother. Blood
00:16:28
brother. Generally, women find it important for men to have a healthy work life balance. And you do. Work and life out there. Work and life out there.
00:16:34
Oh. Oh my god. You have a band-aid or no? I doubt this place has a band-aid.
00:16:40
Okay. I don't even know if we we don't have like proper anything here. Okay. You know, someone else said that who walked in the studio and goes, "This is
00:16:45
how you guys operate." This place is a joke. It's a joke. Yeah. People go, "Oh, congratulations. You
00:16:51
know, you you got a great podcast." And I'm like, "We we work in a dump. We work in a dump."
00:16:57
In an alleyway, don't you like it? Isn't this good? It's the way it is. I would rather this than the other thing.
00:17:02
It's like Sesame Street. Like we went down Sensory Street, right? And then there was like a a door there. What's
00:17:07
up? He's got paper towels. Please. Do you want some um Get him some uh
00:17:14
Purel. Purel is alcohol. It's going to hurt, but you got it. Oh my god. You have to clean the cut.
00:17:20
Oh, you do it. I'm going to close my eyes. [ __ ] Give it to me. Do you have a Have you When was the last time you got a
00:17:26
tetanis shot? I've never gotten one. Oh [ __ ] Okay.
00:17:34
Ah. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Yeah, but you have to. You have to clean it. Ah. Sorry.
00:17:40
Punch him. Kick. Take it out of a cone. Take it out on a cone. Oh,
00:17:46
anyway, let's go to positive. Let's go to positive. You called me up. You said, "I need a good breakfast restaurant." I suggested it.
00:17:51
It was called Miracle Bakery. Yep. In Burbank. So, I was with um somebody I'm seeing and we were in Burbank
00:17:57
and we were shopping. I bought a um a 2012 Godzilla statue.
00:18:03
Shut up. How big? It's like this big. Wait, is it at your house now? Yeah. I also got a um Master Blaster
00:18:09
statue. Dude, where did you go shopping? It's called um it's called Blast from the
00:18:14
Past. Oh, on in downtown. I know exactly where it is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, I got a Master Blaster and then I
00:18:20
got a Transformer old transformer and then I got um bunch of stickers and whatnot.
00:18:25
What? And then we were I got that. Whoa. And then we um then you know and then my date was like
00:18:31
she was like um I I want something breakfasty. I I don't know any thing around here. Let's just get tacos. I
00:18:37
want breakfasty. Yeah. You got to do what they want. when they want breakfast, you got to get I called Andrew and he pro he brought me
00:18:42
to a place that was really good. And I'm going to be honest. Look, let me be honest. When you ask me about a spot,
00:18:49
don't I deliver? Typically, I said that's the thing about you. That's why I call you because especially in the Burbank area because you used to live in
00:18:55
that area that I know that you know the spots there. I think you know globally like if I'm in if I'm in like Indianapolis, I
00:19:02
think you know. I got you. Yeah, you got me. Anywhere in the cities, I think you know. Yeah, the rurals are going to be hard for me. I even like even places like
00:19:09
Taipei. If you're in Taipei, I can hook it up. You can hook up Taipei. Yeah. Uh so Miracle Bakery, phenomenal stuff.
00:19:14
Bourbon. Go say hi. Also, they um they treated me like a king. Well, they Well, you are.
00:19:20
No, they were just nice to everybody. They're great people. They make phenomenal food and they cook it all there.
00:19:25
We disagreed with the donut. What happened? Well, this is not a really You You're a donut purist. It's
00:19:30
different. Yeah. We disagreed with the donut. Okay. A donut. I mean, but their specialty was all the other the breakfast items are their best.
00:19:36
Yeah. What was wrong with the donut? It was like a faux nut kind of a that the consistency wasn't what I
00:19:42
It's probably a little healthier. Probably. That's why it's not good. Well, look, healthy stuff that's supposed to be unhealthy.
00:19:48
But everything else was excellente. Oh, no. No. You wear marin
00:19:55
wear slippers. What the slippers about? Blue chair, babe. Blue chair. Yes.
00:20:01
What's pro? What's your welcome? Chip station. If you run an ecommerce
00:20:07
business, you know packages don't arrive by magic. But but it sure will feel like
00:20:13
it if you use ShipStation. Over 700 million orders were fulfilled with ShipStation. We use Ship Station. We
00:20:19
love ShipStation. They've been good to us. They can be good to you. You never need to upgrade. ShipStation grows with your business. No matter how big it
00:20:24
gets, you can start like Bad Friends did out of a a little shanty where our first studio was to now we've expanded to get
00:20:30
you all of this new merch and gear that we've got. Thank you to Shipstation because fastest, most affordable way to
00:20:36
ship products to your customers with discounts up to 88% off US UPS, DHL Express, and USPS rates and up to 90%
00:20:42
off FedEx rates. Seamlessly integrate with services and selling channels you already use and
00:20:49
manage orders on one easy dashboard. You can deliver a better customer experience with industryleading scalable
00:20:54
features that help you ensure accuracy, get shipments out the door faster, and keep customers happier with automated
00:20:59
tracking updates with your company's branding. You got to use it. During the time of this spot, another 1,400 packages were shipped with the help of
00:21:05
Shipstation. Upgrade to a smoother shipping experience. Go to shipstation.com/badfriends to sign up for your free trial.
00:21:11
No credit card or contract required and you can cancel anytime. That's shipstation.com/
00:21:17
bad friends. Simply Safe. You know, I have animals. You have a lot of I have people living in my house. Yeah.
00:21:23
You're like And sometimes And I also live in the woods. You do live in the woods, right? And I do. And I I I you know we
00:21:28
got simply saved from we got simply safe from them they put we put and can I say something
00:21:34
my sleeps have been so you know why because I know a slasher isn't going to walk in. No one's going to be able to walk in because I have security and security is
00:21:41
what? It's priceless. It's exactly that's right and most security systems only take action after somebody breaks
00:21:47
in. Too late. That's way too late. Way too late. Simply Safe's new Active Guard outdoor protection helps stop breakins before
00:21:53
they happen. I would like AI powered cameras, live monitoring agents detect
00:21:58
suspicious activity around your property. If someone's lurking, you know what I mean? Agents talk to them in real time, turn on spotlights, and can call
00:22:05
the police proactively deterring crime before it even starts. My friend, here's the here's the truth about Simply Safe. If you don't know, you're a bozo.
00:22:12
There's no contracts, no hidden fees. It got named the best home security system of 2025 by CNNET. That's right now, it's
00:22:17
ranked number one in customer service by Newsweek USA Today. Monitoring plans start for about a dollar a day, and you got a 60-day money back guarantee. So
00:22:23
visit simplysafe.com/badfriends to claim 50% off a new system with a professional monitoring plan and get your first month
00:22:29
for free. That's simplysafe.com/badfriends. There's no safe like simply kachava. Okay. So um over the years I've
00:22:38
taken protein powders different type of thing. For years you've been doing this. I've been doing it and kachava is my
00:22:43
favorite um one because I'll tell you why. The flavor the chocolate the the matcha one the one with vanilla in it.
00:22:50
Um there's one with chai. There's a chai one. Um what you do is you just take two scoops, put it into a um what do you
00:22:57
call it? A contain little shaker. A shaker. Yeah, they give you a shaker. Shake it. Yeah, they g give gave you one. You shake it about five or six
00:23:03
times. Last night I had hunger pains as you know, you know, and I took two chocolate ones, right? Shake shook it.
00:23:10
Hunger pens away, right? My body felt great, right? I love kachava. You look great, by the way. 25 grams of
00:23:16
100% plant-based protein in every single one. That's pretty impressive. Five
00:23:21
indulgent flavors. So, you got chocolate, vanilla, chai, matcha, and coconut acai, which I love. With every two scoops of Kachava, you
00:23:28
get 85 plus superfoods, nutrients, and plant-based ingredients. You got to try it. You can fuel your
00:23:33
daily adventures with kacava. Go to kachava.com and use the code bad friends for 15% off your next order.
00:23:39
I mean, I just I I can't live without it. And I'm being real. No, I know you. This is This last month, it's could been
00:23:44
kachava for papa. That's kachava. k a c h a va.com
00:23:50
code bad friends to get 15% off. Oh god. Did you see the sign here by the way,
00:23:56
Mark? Did you see what the kids did for you? Oh, that's nice. That's awesome. That's clever. Do you have a volume for
00:24:01
my cans? This it? Yeah. No. No. Tell He'll tell. He'll adjust right there. Get some volumes, please. Yeah. I like to. He's older. He might not hear well.
00:24:07
Well, that's funny. That's pretty good one. How's the new material coming? Oh. Oh, okay.
00:24:13
You go right to the throat. That's [ __ ] cruel. And let me tell you something. best crew ever. And last night I have to say Peter
00:24:19
Shaw came up to me and goes, "That's 6 minutes I've never even seen before." I know. And they're strong. He told me today I just spent four hours
00:24:24
with him. Yeah. And did he say something about my my my act? Yeah. He said he he did new material.
00:24:29
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Then why what's the slam about guy? I thought it would roll right off you cuz it's not true.
00:24:34
No, but I should do more. The outfit should be more. Dude, he's clever. He's so clever.
00:24:41
He's shifty, dude. He is. Well, with comics, I you know, you want me to be open? I can be open. Yeah, be open. You can fly free on this.
00:24:47
I feel that. I feel safe with you guys. That's that's when I was driving over here. I thought this is going to be a supportive safe room.
00:24:52
Yeah. You can say whatever you want to say whatever you want. No, I got nothing.
00:24:58
Do you guys have a plan? Yeah. The questioning. We do. We got a plan for the gam. Yeah. Yeah. The the question to me is
00:25:05
why would you end? Let me I'm going to say something before I even say that. I
00:25:10
want to say that um I feel like there's two people that are the pioneers in terms of comedy
00:25:16
that inspired this generation to do it which is a generation below you. Yeah, I get it. I mean
00:25:21
it's it's you just one below me and Mario Batitali for sure. This podcast is so good.
00:25:27
I think we all we probably all owe it to Tom Green. The I did Tom. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Tom was
00:25:32
first with the video podcast. With the video. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah. Who? Me and who else? Rogan. Okay. Who's that? Who's that?
00:25:38
Joe Rogan. Joey Joseph Rogan. Yeah, he's out of Texas. Oh, Texas. Got it. I got it.
00:25:44
Got it. Yeah. You love Austin, don't you? He's running half the planet out of Texas. Yeah. Yeah.
00:25:51
He's got a a tight hold on the enlightened meatthead. Dude, Marin's disdain.
00:25:57
It's not disdain. It's It's reasonable criticism. Reasonable criticism. When was the last time you spoke with him?
00:26:03
Uh, I don't know. That's a good question. I I guess it would have been at the store. I never talked to him in
00:26:08
Austin. I don't go into the club. I don't really think I'm on his radar. So, uh, something tells me you are.
00:26:14
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Something tells me you are. I, uh, I don't, uh, you know, it's weird that you get lumped into a certain
00:26:21
thing. And maybe it's my assumption that, uh, you know, his, uh, his army of, uh, of, uh, you know, healthy
00:26:29
fellas. Um, is that their title? Army of healthy fellas is so good.
00:26:34
No, you just got to, you know, Yeah. got stay in give the machine the machine's got to be good. Yeah. Uh that's a shot at Bert. Go ahead.
00:26:40
What do you think the um the Austin shelf life is going to be? Well, I don't know. Like I I think that
00:26:45
it's so effectively tribalized at this point. It really comes down to material. I mean, at what point like at what point
00:26:53
it's like whatever they represented in terms of policy and and it's not a stretch, it's like they won. Trans
00:26:59
people are frightened. They have no ability to get healthcare anymore and and they uh they're afraid of of being
00:27:05
alive and have no freedom left. So that's done. When do you stop with the jokes? When do you stop with the jokes?
00:27:12
And like immigrants. Okay. Well, they're being ripped away from their homes and Yeah. And they're, you know, and they're
00:27:17
all terrified and and Okay, so that's done. When do you stop with the jokes? Right. I mean, it's one thing to uh to pick on
00:27:24
the the vulnerable and the marginalized, but I mean, they're down.
00:27:29
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, like, why do you got to keep hitting him? Unless you're a hack. Now, there's a question,
00:27:36
Mark. Wow. Mark, comes in swinging. No. So, I don't know. The last time I talked to Joe, people
00:27:42
for a while were like, you know, uh, why don't you go on Joe's show? And and my answer to that is like, why?
00:27:48
Why? Right. Well, you it doesn't service you. Well, no, I I don't need him. And also
00:27:55
it there there's no there's no way for me to like what am I going to talk to him about? And there's no way for me to
00:28:01
to to to sort of not walk out of there and be like, "All right, I guess I'll look at my phone. Oh, [ __ ] How long is
00:28:07
this going to go on for?" You know, like, but it's like Martin Luther King and Malcolm X made me meeting at once at one
00:28:12
point. Don't you think? Let's go historical with it. Say it again. Malcolm X and um um Martin Luther King
00:28:18
meeting. They met at one point. Yeah. Well, that's right. Pioneers of the civil rights movement. Which one is Malcolm X and which one's
00:28:24
Martin Luther King? Martin Luther King. I don't I don't really think that's not Martin Luther. This the analogy doesn't work.
00:28:30
He's so bad analogies. Let him keep going with this. It's going to get funnier as it goes on. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Um let me go with more
00:28:35
analogies. He's like this is if Hitlers and Gerbles had to hang out off the work site.
00:28:41
Well, one of those is right. Yeah. Yeah. I think you got half that analogy.
00:28:47
Okay. Yeah. See, why can't you just Why don't you just once support me? You know what I mean? With a analogy. Shut up.
00:28:53
But that was just wrong. It it brought race into it in a very profound way. Yeah. And I I would
00:28:58
Mine was angled and funny and distant. It went somewhere else. Yeah. I I think on one side of that there's a guy that's aggressively
00:29:04
fighting for the civil rights of victimized white people. God knows they've had it hard enough long time for
00:29:09
a long enough time. But uh has he has Joe asked you? No. Oh, here's a better here's a better angle.
00:29:16
Adam used to you go like, "Hey, what?" And I'm like, "No, why?" Why? Well, because it's interesting being someone like us on the outside of it and
00:29:23
watching you guys. Oh, you got one foot in, baby. Well, yeah. It's up It's right up your ass. That's the other foot.
00:29:28
I think I think what it is for me is I would love to see you guys chat, but I'd love to see you guys chat in
00:29:33
neither of your arenas. It would be the only way it'd be legit because if you have to go to his show, not going to work.
00:29:39
He has to go to your house. Not going to work. You guys would have to do this thing. It's like setting up a mob meeting here.
00:29:45
No, seriously. moderated. You should do it here at Bad Friend. It would piss both of them off so [ __ ]
00:29:51
much. Look at the art behind them. It would just be of us. This would be good neutral ground. But you do have to understand something.
00:29:57
I have known Joe since he started. Yeah. I mean, literally
00:30:03
since he first set foot on stage. I was there. Yeah. And I remember uh my initial
00:30:10
issues were there was another guy Kevin Flynn who was out of the game and he was
00:30:15
like a a soccer jock and at that time Joe was like a you know regional kickboxing champion and my my
00:30:23
initial reaction was like what are these guys doing here? This isn't for them.
00:30:29
This is it's like Louis once said to me years ago when Jay Moore started in New York when he was like 17. He's like it's
00:30:35
not for them. It's not for the good-looking guys. It's not for the jocks. This is for us rejects. Us guys
00:30:40
who don't fit in. That's what comedy was. By the way, was Jmore that good-looking? Is am I crazy?
00:30:46
He was cute back then. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. Okay. But let's be honest. Let's go back to the truth tree then. Mark Marin is a
00:30:51
good-looking guy. Not always. Sweaty. A good dude. Why are you getting TV shows every [ __ ]
00:30:57
second, man? Not for my looks. We'll get to that in a second. It is there's competition. There's your your face. I've seen you on screen.
00:31:03
No, he's a handsome guy. It's annoying. You have great angles on your face when you were young. Now, yes, you're right. You matured. When you
00:31:08
were young, you were hideous. You're a hideous man. I was long. I was sweaty and, you know, bloated and long hair. But, but the
00:31:16
getting back to Joe, look, I I imagine Mhm. All right. Sex machine, dude.
00:31:21
Oh, that was okay. Ladies, who's that? That's a hot. But look, I could I really couldn't land on a look, could I? Yeah.
00:31:26
God, you really rotated. Now, go to the No, the the Comedy Central photo down below. Awful.
00:31:31
Awful. Awful. That was a bad night. Awful. I mean, this is what anti-semmites dream of.
00:31:36
That's not quite That's not quite a full Jew. I would say full Jew. Look at the one of me and Sam Canson. That That is
00:31:43
me at my drugged out [ __ ] best. Wow. What a legendary photo.
00:31:49
That's such a good photo. What a crazy I was out of my mind. I know. Out of my mind. Everything had a reason.
00:31:54
Was that Crest Hill? That was Did you live in Crest Hill? That was Yeah, I did. That was in the back lot. Yeah. Uh
00:31:59
Wait, hold on. Was that Fitz? Was that you and a young Fitz in the Yeah. Yeah, that was in Boston. Me and Fitz. Yeah. Look at that, dude.
00:32:04
Oh my god, dude. I've never seen this photo. Look at how jacked Fitz looks. And then up there on the Where's that
00:32:10
one of me and Dave Cross in the red shirt? Dave Cross. It was probably in the mid 90s. Yeah. Hey.
00:32:15
Oh my god. Wow. But that night for the Comedy Central, the first half hours, I I was I [ __ ]
00:32:24
it, man. It was so sad, dude. Because I got out here. I wasn't living out here
00:32:29
and I was still doing Coke then, right? And I had one guy who would get me the blow here, right? And it was, you
00:32:36
remember, you remember Bob Baker? Oh, yeah. Sure. Bob Baker. Bob Baker did. I couldn't trust Chewy, but Baker had
00:32:42
other connection. You know, Chewy Chewy had other connections the blues. You can get in there for free. Yeah. But but but anyways, I don't know
00:32:48
what happened to Baker, but he wasn't a dealer, but he, you know, he was here and I I would say like, I'm coming out, you know, try to get some. So, I was
00:32:55
really dead set on like trying to keep clean before that special. And I thought I did because I was like, you know, I'll
00:33:01
just do a little the night before, but I'll I'll stop at like 6:00 in at night, you know, and but needless to say, I
00:33:09
didn't sleep much. And I tanked. I didn't tank, but it was not good. It was
00:33:14
the same that was like the same night that that Hedberg, whether it was that night or the night after, did the
00:33:20
special that made him. Yeah. But he didn't do well either, but he was him. That was at that special. Yeah, that was
00:33:25
at the IV on He bombed so bad. Yeah, he talks about it in the special,
00:33:30
right? Doesn't he talk about He stops at one point and comes out again. It was weird, but it it it took on mythic proportions
00:33:36
that special. I mean, that really was what put him on the map. But that was the same bunch of taping.
00:33:41
So, I was kind of sweaty. I did okay. I really didn't have my voice in totally. I was still kind of bitter. But the
00:33:48
saddest thing about this is like, you know, after you do a set like that, you want go into a room full of friends and
00:33:53
like and they had food there, too. And and I'm like, "All right, I finished the set and I walk into where the food is.
00:33:59
No one's in there but Baker." And he's going, "They got roast beef." And I'm like, "Wow,
00:34:04
wow." Yeah. Wow. That's the That's the victory party. So, what years were you a doormat at the store, though?
00:34:10
I got out here I guess I I guess it was 86 and 87. Yeah. So, I got out here in
00:34:17
like the summer of '86, became head doorman, and uh you know, she made me
00:34:23
head door man. I got to had to get all these idiots jackets. It was a different thing there. She tried to open the she
00:34:28
tried to open one in Universal City. Wow. Like in a hotel there. So, it was my job to make the schedule for the door guys.
00:34:34
There was no security or anything. And nobody wanted this job. Wow. So, it was me, Rod Blackman, who wasn't
00:34:40
a comic, Andy Volver, uh Mike Jelnik. Do you remember that guy? No. He was he
00:34:46
became a he was a lawyer. He's in Cleveland. Uh you know um Jay Pope was
00:34:52
another guy. I can't believe I'm remembering these names. But like you know she was like man you got to get them jackets. And I'm like I
00:34:58
got to get them jackets. So I'm down in [ __ ] Chinatown trying to find black blazers for these idiots. And uh yeah.
00:35:05
And then like I was living in Cover City with Steve Brill. And then they they kicked me out of the the apartment. Uh
00:35:11
because like Pete Berg, you know, the director. Yeah. Steve Brills also director. I went to college with Steve and we were best
00:35:17
friends. We actually started doing comedy together. But Peter is killing it now. He does. All right. Yeah. Like he does he did a few Sandler
00:35:23
movies. He did Sandler's last special. But Berg is definitely killing it. Definitely killing. He's got a real
00:35:29
He was your college roommate. No, Steve Bril was my good friend in college. So Br lived out here and there
00:35:34
was a whole crew of them including Berg. When I met Berg, he was like he was running. He was trying to act. I took
00:35:40
pictures of those guys and he used a picture I took of him as his headshot for years out in Culver City. But him
00:35:46
and and Bril were friends. And I was living with Bril in Culver City in a building his uncle owned or his mom or
00:35:52
something. And what happened was Berg needed a place to live. So all of a sudden they're like, "You can stay on
00:35:57
the couch." And it was so sad because I I was trying to get in at doing standup. The way I got the job as a doormat at
00:36:03
the store is like Mity, I was doing PA work. This is a funny story. Like I didn't know what the [ __ ] to do when I
00:36:09
got out here. I just wanted to be a comic and I didn't know how to get on. I didn't know anything. And I when I got out here, I I showcased at the store and
00:36:16
I showcased I don't even think it was a real showcase at the improv. Um and I just like didn't know what else to do.
00:36:22
There wasn't any other options. And I started doing PA work. And so the the
00:36:28
first job I as a PA was on a It doesn't matter. Yeah, tell me. You
00:36:34
have to know. It was on a shoot for It was for It was a a series of videos called Kids Songs,
00:36:39
music videos for kids. Kids song. Kids song. Like kids bop. Yeah. Whatever. Something like that. And
00:36:45
this one was the circus themed one. And they were shooting at the the circus Vargas, which was on it was not it was
00:36:52
what do you call it when they're they're not in season? Offseason. Right. So I
00:36:58
know it's hard. I'm getting old. I'm getting old. I see why you're ending the show.
00:37:03
That's pretty good. Thank you. Thank you. I'm going to give Wait, wait. Save it. Come on. Just finish the story. Don't attack me. So,
00:37:10
uh, so it's just all these circus people and these kids and the and the directors all cod up and it's all crazy and I'm
00:37:16
just a PA running around getting things, but it's like really it's all circus people and the kids are running around
00:37:22
and then after a day of shooting the there were two clowns and uh and there after we we wrap the
00:37:29
clowns come up to me and they're like, "You want to get high?" And I'm like, "Yeah, okay." Yeah.
00:37:35
Well, I'm upset. I've never been high with a clown. Well, that's that's the [ __ ] up thing. Like, we let's go to our trailer. So, I go to
00:37:40
the clown trailer and they're in there and the one dude just starts rolling into joy and I go like, "Hold on. You got to take the makeup off."
00:37:48
Yeah. I can't be still staring at you guys in [ __ ] clown. I can't do the the clown. Was the nose
00:37:55
still on? Everything was still on. That's insane. So, anyway, so I get another PA job for
00:38:00
Mitsy and I didn't know it. I just got a job. you get into this this circuit of PAS and she was shooting at that time
00:38:07
where where what is over there now where the pet tree is Petri used to be the house of blues and before that it was a
00:38:13
house it was it was called it was a it was John Barrymore's old house an old Hollywood house that Mity owned and she
00:38:21
put a restaurant in there called Barry Moores and wow for a while there no one would eat there
00:38:26
was it good I don't know it was a full restaurant no one would [ __ ] eat there well they tried to offer packages like, you know,
00:38:33
dinner and the show. So, you dinner and then you go to the main room show, but it was it was a restaurant for a little
00:38:38
while and there were production offices underneath it. And she was trying to produce the Comedy
00:38:44
Store channel. So, she had all the guys that were working at that time doing all kinds of sketches and all kinds of [ __ ]
00:38:50
It was this big undertaker. Ollie Joer. Yeah, probably. I'm trying to remember who was Well, she was [ __ ] Danny
00:38:56
Stone at the time and Oh my god. Danny was like, you know, who how are you? All he did was like, oh my god. I mean, you know, he has that
00:39:04
kind of vibe. Yeah. Always wearing a suit and sweaty, bugeyed, and you know, but I heard Jimmy Schubert ate her [ __ ]
00:39:10
but I don't know if I All right, Mark. There's your story. Yes, he he diverts and it's Sorry. Sorry.
00:39:15
No, no. Schubert will cop to that. Yeah. Yeah. Schubert used to really I think so. Oh, that was urban myth. Okay.
00:39:22
No. No. You used to say I had a pager on my dick. Yeah. So, Wow. Wow.
00:39:27
But, um I don't want to talk out of school, but I think that's public information. Okay. It is now. So anyway, so I had auditioned for Mity.
00:39:35
Yeah. And I was running around doing PA on this weird shoot. And you know who was around? Charlie Barnett. Charlie
00:39:40
Bernett. Remember the guy from Washington Square Park? He was in DC Cab. I think he was a comedy store
00:39:45
regular. Old street performer. And I just remember he was around. Ali Joel was around. All them. Jan Hart, Karen
00:39:50
Hab, all the that crew of the late ' 80s. Freddy Asparagus. No, he wasn't part of that. Okay.
00:39:55
But I did I did some Blow with Freddy once up at Crest. All right. But um you know who that is? I know Freddy
00:40:01
Asparagus. Yeah, I've heard the name. Three Amigos. Yeah, he played the bartender. Oh, he was You know what? Yes.
00:40:07
That line that that scene where he's like uh uh I got to get out of this
00:40:13
town. I remember. He's a good guy. Great guy. Yeah. He died, right? Yeah,
00:40:18
he died. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, so anyway, so I know I'm I'm in like I audition for it. All I want to be is a comic. So I'm like
00:40:24
I see her at these at you know she's running around or moving slowly around in her boa
00:40:32
sacheting around. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I go Mity I finally get a minute. I'm like Mity. I'm Mark Maron. Do you remember me? I
00:40:37
auditioned for she she for you. She goes oh yeah you're funny. Go talk to Becker
00:40:44
and be a doorman. Wow. So I went up to Mike Becker's office. Was that a big deal back then? Yeah.
00:40:49
Wow. Because that was the entrylevel position. Wow. So like, so then, so I go meet with
00:40:54
Becker and and she's I said she wants to be a doorman. He's like, "All right." And
00:41:00
and then he's like, "Can you be head door man?" I'm like, "Yeah, sure." And I'm [ __ ] in Chinatown buying jackets for guys. But uh so that's how I got in.
00:41:08
Wow. And what had happened where I was living? So So Crest,
00:41:13
wait, how old were you? No, this is before I moved to Crest because I was still with B. They made me move to the couch. Okay. at Brill and and Berg's Berg's
00:41:20
house. But then they just started bringing parties home, bringing chicks home, and they'd wake me up and Berg would be like, "Play some guitar," you
00:41:26
know? I'm like, "What am I doing? Why am I the like the [ __ ] in this situation? Get us laid, dude. This is late ' 80s, right?"
00:41:32
Yeah. And I didn't know how to get an apartment cuz I was a [ __ ] I was like a feral. And I'm like I I wanted to get
00:41:37
I had to get out of there. So, I go look at apartments, but I don't know how to look at apartments. And then like an apartment opens up down
00:41:43
the hall. Some woman needs a roommate down the hall from Berg. So, I go take this apartment and within days, you
00:41:50
know, I'm I'm doing blow. She's supposedly sober. I get her [ __ ] up on blow and like I drank all of her
00:41:56
champagne for her party and then there was literally an intervention. Like her and her boyfriend and their friends
00:42:01
said, "You can't live here anymore." Wow. And I'm like, "All right." And then and
00:42:06
then Mitsy was like, "You can live at Crale." And I'm like, "Great." So that's when who was living there at the time? Crest
00:42:12
Hill. Well, for people that don't know, Crest Hill is a house that the comedy store owned and it's Mistywood House more on the hillside above the store. It
00:42:19
was a great old place. Uh, at the time, what was funny cuz I got a really good room. The room right off the kitchen had
00:42:25
its own bathroom. It was a good room. And then across the way, Todd Todd
00:42:31
Lemish the Todd Tamo lived upstairs. Tomoi.
00:42:36
And then across the hall, who the hell was that? Well, Todd, there was another Todd the sound guy. He lived downstairs
00:42:44
and eventually Schubert was living upstairs in the porch room for a while. Nancy Redmond was there for a minute.
00:42:50
I'm trying to remember who lived in that main bedroom, but that was sort of the crew at the time. But I remember one
00:42:55
time because that's why that's why Kenisonson was always up there and why I had to go get the the booze and everything cuz he was, you know, with
00:43:01
Tomo and they were always broken up. So he would like come up there and we'd do blow for three days and he'd just end up
00:43:06
like pounding on her door like tomorrow Ridge. Oh my god,
00:43:12
look at it. Are you from the future? No, it's a slick Ridge wallet. And they don't just make wallets, by the way. They make luggage and premium everyday
00:43:18
gear. But I'm telling you, these things are awesome. You don't have to tell me because I'm the one that uses Ridge Wallet.
00:43:25
I know you do. We love Ridge Wallet. With over 50 colors and styles, Ridge Wallet isn't just functional, it's personal. Whether
00:43:31
you want sleek black forged carbon fiber or a wallet that features your favorite
00:43:36
NFL team or one that just matches your vibe, they've got you completely covered. Andrew,
00:43:42
50 styles, 50 colors and styles. That's so much. It's not just functional, it's personal. Also, they're doing their legendary sweep stakes for the fifth
00:43:49
time. And this time, it's actually insane. I think this is crazy, but it's amazing. The two lucky winners will get to choose between $300,000 Lamborghini
00:43:56
Huracan Serado, $150,000 Hennessy Velociraptor, or $100,000 in cash. This
00:44:02
is amazing that they're doing this. I think it's bonkers and incredible. But hey, if you're sleek like Ridge, they
00:44:08
have it to give it away. And I'm telling you, that's probably the biggest sweep stakes I've ever heard of in my entire
00:44:13
life. Ready to upgrade your wallet, maybe your ride? For a limited time only, head to ridge.com/bad
00:44:20
for 10% off your order and a chance to win Ridge's biggest sweep stakes ever. A
00:44:26
Lamborghini, Burakan, Serato, a a Hennessy or $100,000 in cash. No purchase
00:44:33
necessary to enter, but every dollar you spend gets you more entries. That's ridge.com/bad. After you purchase, they're going to ask
00:44:39
you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them we sent you. Open phone. If you're running a
00:44:45
business, Andrew, you know that every time you miss a call, you're leaving money on the table, brother. True.
00:44:50
When every customer conversation matters, you need a phone system that keeps you up and helps you stay
00:44:56
connected 24/7. That's why you need Open Phone. Open Phone, for those that don't know, it's the number one business phone
00:45:01
system that streamlines and scales your customer communications. It works through an app on your phone or computer, so no more carrying two phones
00:45:07
or using a landline, you dinosaur. Get out of the old and in with the new. Say goodbye to voicemail. Their AI agent can
00:45:12
be set up in minutes to handle calls for hours, answer questions, and capture leads so you never miss a customer. So whether you're a one-person operation
00:45:19
drowning in calls and texts, or have a large team that needs a better collaboration tool, Open Phone is a no-brainer. You can see why over 60,000
00:45:25
businesses trust Open Phone. Open Phone is offering our listeners 20% off your first 6 months at
00:45:31
openphone.com/badfriends. That's open phone op.com/badfriends.
00:45:37
And if you have existing numbers with another service, Open Phone will port them over at no extra charge. Open Phone, no missed calls, no missed
00:45:44
customers. Chubbies, when I went to Hawaii, you know, I hate shorts, by the way. Yeah, you almost never wear them on
00:45:50
vacation. But I was like, what do I wear? And I went to Chubbies. And listen, when I wore these things, right, I didn't even notice I was wearing
00:45:55
shorts and they look so fashionably good. I wasn't self-conscious at all. And I like this expandable waist thing
00:46:01
right here. I think it's really cool because, by the way, our waist fluctuate. All right. If you're someone on the go, it's going to
00:46:06
fluctuate a little bit. Speaking of fluctuating, Fancy B is wearing a Chubby shirt right now. He's fluctuated weight.
00:46:11
He lost a little bit of weight. He looks pretty good, huh? He looks like a fancy boy. Cuz he is fancy. If you're looking
00:46:17
for something comfortable, sleek, affordable. Chubbies has everything. Those those polos are great cuz they're
00:46:23
stretchable and breathable. And the shorts are incredible. They also have uh the the line swim collection, which I
00:46:28
really love cuz I like changing swim trunks cuz I like swimming in my backyard. I'm a little swimming boy. Huh? I'm a little swimming boy.
00:46:34
I just like the classic look on them, too. And whe whether you're suiting up for cannonballs, which I love, you know,
00:46:39
cannonballs cannonballs. You're a cookout guy or casual Fridays, Chubbies has you covered. For a limited time,
00:46:44
Chubbies is giving our listeners 20% off your order with our code bad friends at
00:46:50
chubbies.com. That's code [email protected].
00:46:56
That's c hu bbie s h o rts.com. Support our show and let them know we sent you.
00:47:01
Give summer one last harrah. Keep the good vibes going with chubby chubbies.
00:47:07
It was crazy. It was It was It was the last I think really crazy time when I was there. I talked about this recently
00:47:13
with Andy Richtor and it all sort of comes back to you, you know, because I I mean I've told some of these stories before, but it's like when you get back
00:47:18
to them, it's sort of like, you know, you start you start, you know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You start getting back into it.
00:47:24
Yeah. But but it was just it was just so crazy because no co Monday night was no
00:47:29
cover night, right? Wow. So, so the way that worked was like all the rooms were open. They
00:47:35
had to buy drinks, but that was like Sam night. So, Sam would take over the main room Monday night. He'd show up like
00:47:42
10:30, 11. Wow. And then it was just all the freaks from Hollywood would converge. It was just such
00:47:47
Stevie Nicks, everyone. Right. Well, it was like more it was porn stars occasionally, you know, people would
00:47:53
come and Sam would have to, you know, put on a like he was a a good guy show for him.
00:47:58
I remember, you know, one time like I was such a [ __ ] cocky dick. Like one time uh in the kitchen like uh they
00:48:06
Clapton and Phil Collins had come to see Sam. Wow. I don't give a [ __ ] about Collins and I
00:48:12
don't really give But Clapton a little bit. A little but not much, you know? So what?
00:48:18
He's not Clapton. Yeah, but he's Eric Clapton. But like if I I'm a I'm a guitar player, so I have
00:48:23
him in a certain place. I I tend to play more like him than I I want to. But I whatever. So he's back there.
00:48:29
But James Taylor, would you James Taylor was somebody that would be impressed by him? I interviewed him. Okay. Uh he's he's a lot darker than you
00:48:35
think. Is it? Yeah. Fire and rain, dude. Fullon depressive junkie for
00:48:43
years. Couldn't get out from under it, dude. Wow. Couldn't get out from under. Isn't that Clapton story, too?
00:48:48
Yeah, but like Clap Dark. Yeah, I guess. But why does he play just He's kind of a hack, you know?
00:48:54
I love this. Clapton is a hack. I love that. a blues hack. Yeah, a bit. Wow. I mean, he had pretty good phrasing and
00:49:00
but but I think that his best work oddly was with like John Mayal and the Blues Breakers, the first band he was in when
00:49:06
he first realized like if I just crank this, I can still play these old dumb blues licks and sound like a genius. So,
00:49:13
wow. What? I love you. He'll cop to that. Joe Bonamas. Joe Bonamasa. Bonamasa is a savant, but I don't know
00:49:20
who he is. Do you? No. But but that's kind of why I like him. You think he keeps him you keep he keeps
00:49:26
himself hidden in in an order for us to not I just think he's a a sort of like
00:49:33
naturally gifted guitar player who can play the [ __ ] out of anything and he's a good mimic and he's like you know he can
00:49:40
play like anybody. Yeah. But like I don't if you can fake feeling,
00:49:46
who do I believe? You know, like you gotta figure like Freddy King Yeah. can only play Freddy
00:49:52
King. And when Freddy King plays Freddy King, you're like, "Holy [ __ ] this guy's really in it." So Bonamasa can
00:49:58
play exactly like Freddy King, I'm like, "Yeah, but you're not Freddy King. It sounds right, but the feeling's not
00:50:04
there." Right. Well, who makes sense? Yeah. Who's your Who's your Who's your god then? Who's the guitar god?
00:50:11
Well, that's a good question. Or who are the gods plural then? Who are the three gods? If there was a little
00:50:17
Mount Rushmore, a little whatever. Who? Three, four gods in terms of guitar playing. Yeah. Hris.
00:50:22
Look, you know, in terms of uh blues, you know, I'll go with those old guys.
00:50:27
You know, I like Freddy and I like Albert and I like um who else do I listen to?
00:50:33
Last names. Give me the last name, too, man. But I like Helen Wolf. I like his guitarist, Hubert Sumlin. I like uh I
00:50:40
what? This is deep tut like I'm sorry. Any of these [ __ ] Albert whoms?
00:50:45
Albert King. Oh, Albert King was Stevie Ray's guy. You know Albert King? He was Stevie Ray's guy. Yeah. Yeah.
00:50:51
Yeah. And Freddy King like was pretty pretty great. He's Clapton's guy, but I like I like dirty [ __ ] I like
00:50:57
Hound Dog Taylor. Oh wow. That I mean I like dirty [ __ ] blues. I I'm a big Keith Richards guy and he's
00:51:04
not really a lead player, but I love him. Yeah. I like Hendricks a lot. I mean, you can listen to Hendricks. That stuff's crazy,
00:51:10
but he's doing Buddy. It's so funny. I saw Buddy uh Buddy Guy, you know, cuz you know, Hendrickx got a lot of Buddy
00:51:16
Guy in him. And uh it was just it was it was very funny when I saw Buddy Guy and Junior Wells when I was in college at in
00:51:23
uh in Cambridge. They were both shitfaced. It was second show. And Buddy was like, "You like Hendrickx? I'll show
00:51:29
you Hendrickx." And he just started doing these looks. I'm like, "Holy [ __ ] those are your those are your licks." You know, and but Hrix was a genius. You
00:51:36
don't like pop bands then? Like when Nirvana came about, did you like it? That's pop. No, I like Nirvana. Sure.
00:51:42
Okay. Okay. Oh, yeah. I love I listen to popular music. Well, they became very popular. No, no. I listen to all the music, dude.
00:51:48
I'm a big gig Iggy pop fan. Biggest fan. Did you ever I used to listen to like I
00:51:54
was listening to Skard the other day. I grew up in New Mexico, dude. So, I had to All right, dude. But I knew a guy at a
00:52:00
record store who was like one of these like weirdo art guys, Steve Laroo, and he turned me on on to all the sort of
00:52:06
art rock stuff and Bowie and then but on the radio you were Skard and all that other [ __ ] So I'm pretty well verssed
00:52:12
in all of it. What do I go back to the most? I think I honestly I I listen to more Stones than
00:52:17
than I Stones more than anything. Well, I go back to them on AC/DC. Huge Angus Young fan. He's definitely one of
00:52:23
my guys. Okay. Angus Young on the lead guitar and a [ __ ] performer no less. But you
00:52:28
can't beat that guy and his licks are just straight up blues wicks. But man, he's the he's one of the best.
00:52:34
Good performer. [ __ ] it. He's a great guitar player. Yeah. Great guitar player. Did you find yourself ever liking John
00:52:39
Prime or No. Yeah, sure. I like John Prime. I could see you liking him. Oh, he's good. I interviewed him. Great
00:52:44
guy because I feel like he's kind of your style of of guy where uh he does Clever. He's clever.
00:52:50
No, no, that's not what I would say. I would say no. He just doesn't give a [ __ ] uh if it if it feels like it's
00:52:57
supposed to be the right way. If it's like I'll do it my way. I don't He does it his way. And his and some of
00:53:02
his songs are [ __ ] great. Oh, they're Angel from Montgomery. All right. Why don't you end your
00:53:08
podcast? Sorry about that, Mark. Oh, let's get back to what we started with. Yeah, let's go with the original.
00:53:14
I don't know what I get I drifted from it. It's just like John Prime this and that feeling. I don't know about that.
00:53:20
Well, we're just chatting. I I don't like it. Let's go to about. But but the thing with Joe, the thing
00:53:25
with Joe Yeah. is I don't know that we have a lot to talk about because of my, you know, my
00:53:31
idea of what's he's done to comedy. Sure. And I I don't think it's great. I think
00:53:37
that it's tribalized and I think that, you know, he's created a sort of army of
00:53:42
people that think they know comedy, but they only know a specific thing. And what they think is good is not
00:53:48
necessarily good. But it may be what they're like, what they like. But on the outside of that, most of the sort of
00:53:54
sensitive weirdos that we all grew up with in comedy have been sort of pushed
00:54:00
aside and the space for them has become limited. And it's a little There was a time though that alt comedy
00:54:05
was the not all comedy. I'm not even talking about the alt people. I'm talking about just like interesting
00:54:12
standups, right? You know, weirdos. Yeah. Like Brent Weinach has a great special. I think he's so weird.
00:54:18
Joe Mandy. Yeah. Joe Mandy, you know, and now it's like kind of this, you know, this there's this cultural idea of what comedy is.
00:54:24
Is there a world and and I understand what you're I get your perspective. Yeah. Is there a world where both these things
00:54:30
exist and it doesn't [ __ ] matter. Well, so this is what I always say like I get that you don't like that world.
00:54:37
That's part of why I love you because you're like [ __ ] that and you'll [ __ ] on it and that's what's great about there's some good comics in there and
00:54:43
there is a lot of middle section. There's a lot I I believe that we all exist in the same world and it doesn't matter is my point. I I
00:54:48
get why you it's it's not all on him. No, you know, the culture has changed, right? And in
00:54:54
you know, and I don't necessarily think for the better, but it's changed in a lot of ways in that
00:54:59
look, you know, there are comics that only drive clips and and that you only do crowd work and they don't care if
00:55:05
they do other people's jokes because the traction is with the clip. And what they don't realize, I think, and what a lot
00:55:11
of people don't realize is that you're just you're you're the you're the internet's [ __ ] You're the platform's
00:55:18
[ __ ] So, in the sense that if you're not able to [ __ ] confidently do an hour without worrying about getting
00:55:24
quipped so you can get people come see you to do crowd work, what are you really? What is your voice? Who do you
00:55:30
work for? You'd like to think you're working for yourself, but you're just a platform [ __ ] who doesn't really need
00:55:36
to find who they are up there or do anything interesting at all. That's a problem. Yeah. So, and the bigger problem about what
00:55:42
you're saying is I think we all still do exist, but the nature of the comedy business is fragmented and some of it's
00:55:47
tribalized. But there used to be a lot more weirdos around. Yeah. Who were kind of exciting and interesting and took it
00:55:54
a different place. I would argue with just talk comedy, there's not that many
00:55:59
people bringing it to a different place, dude. Right. Well, there's there is some good ones that like I think that I think that kid
00:56:05
Casey Rocket's really entertaining and fun and different and unique. I think they're they're there, right? I think
00:56:10
the problem is we're there's so much sludge. There's so much [ __ ] There's way more noise than we've ever [ __ ]
00:56:16
seen. So, it's hard to appreciate or even care because all that's really being shown is kind of the constant like
00:56:22
give it to him, give it to him, give it to him, give it to him. So I get I'm tired of the attitude.
00:56:27
I thought you were going to say violence in this country. No. I'm tired. They come up back to LA. One
00:56:35
guy I want to name his name and go, "Oh, you're pretty seem like you're thriving out." He goes, "I'm killing it." Killing it.
00:56:40
You know what I mean? And I'm like, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, dude. Without you out because you couldn't survive here."
00:56:45
Yeah. This is a different It's an animal. It's an animal. Well, I think the weirdos you're referring to, by the way, were birthed.
00:56:51
And I defend this till I'm [ __ ] blue in the face. were birthed at the comedy store. Wow. I I think the biggest the
00:56:57
biggest mistake that's made whenever I go back east is, you know, the New York guys that I very close friends out
00:57:03
there, they all they, you know, they make fun of the store and blah blah blah blah for all the years. And I'm always like, dude, you'll never find a bigger
00:57:08
group of [ __ ] lunatic all over the mappers. When I started, when I moved here in ' 06, it was whackadoo central.
00:57:15
It was the late nights were [ __ ] insane. In fact, the front patio, you were like, "Is this illegal?" Whatever
00:57:21
this is. Do these people live here? Yeah. This is crazy. And I think I always push I was like people don't know
00:57:26
that about the store. They think they hear this like corporate bro. And that happens internally in LA a lot too where
00:57:31
they're like the store is a [ __ ] you know whatever sellout factory of [ __ ] bro comics
00:57:36
because not anymore. No, but there was a wash of it that came through and I think Yeah, Joe. They moved to Austin. But I I
00:57:43
No, I think I think I think even I think even even up to a few years, even when I
00:57:49
was starting out and the Largo guys or the East Side guys, if I go do east side shows, they would make fun of me going back because I had a lot of good friends
00:57:55
that were Eastside guys. Yeah. And we started because they couldn't cut it couldn't cut it at the store. I know. But they still would hate on me
00:58:00
for going. They go they'd be like, "Why the [ __ ] you going there, Santino? It's all [ __ ] l" And I hate it cuz I was like, "You don't get it. That place is
00:58:06
diverse and insane and weird." But the bottom line is you got to do the job. You got to do the job.
00:58:11
East side. You don't got to do the job. You got a bunch of like-minded people that'll sort of watch you worm your way
00:58:17
through a personal story that goes nowhere and and find, you know, love. The the the whole issue, whatever
00:58:24
alternative comedy was, it didn't deliver the goods because it ain't around anymore. And that weird argument,
00:58:31
it wasn't that alternative comics were open micers. They were just trying to do something different. But if you're
00:58:36
brought up with the working ethic of like, you know, you open, you middle, you headline, and then you [ __ ] do
00:58:42
the job. That that wasn't the same sense of of of purpose. So when you do the
00:58:47
store and the reason why I've never stopped doing it, and I was always a club comic from the beginning, but
00:58:52
Well, you're like Blade, though. You live in both worlds. That's right. Well, I help build the alternative world in New York. But then,
00:58:57
but I'm just saying there's some comics like you that do both. I wonder why. I mean, there's you I think Zach lives in
00:59:04
both. Gaffronac Patton Oswald lives in both. Yeah, but some of them don't live in both. Well, some of them don't live anywhere
00:59:09
anymore. I'm not sure what they're doing. But they're back on that couch, baby.
00:59:15
But but the truth is is that like in my mind, it's like you got to be able to do the job for whoever, right?
00:59:20
So like the idea and sometimes at the store it's hard. It's not always easy at the store. There's a lot of times where
00:59:26
most of the room doesn't know who the [ __ ] I am, but that's the job, right? I mean, you know, I do have my my people
00:59:32
and I go do theaters and stuff, but you go want to go put yourself through the I still have that weird ethic. It's like
00:59:37
because a lot of people are like, "Why would you go to the store anymore?" I'm like, "I don't know. Cuz I got to do the job."
00:59:43
Yeah. And I've It's a way to make to know whether [ __ ] really works. If you can make it work over there,
00:59:49
it's going to work anywhere. I think that's it. I think everyone that got successful at the store that became a store person or a store name,
00:59:55
Yeah. They have that like unrelenting I have to be a comedian. I have to do
01:00:01
it. Yeah. No other choice. When wives and girlfriends and friends are like what are you going to a you're going to the [ __ ] now?
01:00:08
That's why I don't have any of those things. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So you want to transition to stick
01:00:13
real fast. Yeah. Well, just cuz I I can't even tell you what it is. Go ahead.
01:00:18
He was a very masterful golf player. I know. You do? I do. I know. He's a good golf player. He's also a great bowler. He does. He's
01:00:25
good at everything. Yeah. He's like he's got all those white guy sports down. Right. Right. Right. He does. Right. I have some of the black ones.
01:00:32
And he's also I don't know if you know this. Yeah. Great actor. Okay. That's not That part's not
01:00:38
I think we've talked about this before. You're a great actor. Yeah. Yeah. But anyway, he should have gotten something on Stick. Yeah. But it has nothing to do with
01:00:44
them. I kept telling them, you know, where's Andrew? They kept saying, "No thanks. No thanks. No thanks."
01:00:50
I was mad. We saw the show Stick. It's a great show. It's on Apple. Uh, of course our good friend Mark Marin is on it with
01:00:56
You wouldn't have played my part though. No, no, no, no, no, no. You would have played Owen's part. That was a tough cell.
01:01:01
Yeah, I think it was attached early. Yeah, it was either me or Owen, basically. No, there's no other polar The joke is
01:01:06
there's no other parts. It's a young It's Owen and a young child in him. It's like a [ __ ] How
01:01:12
You could have easily done Timothy Olance's role. Yeah, [ __ ] you, Timothy. And you could have uh you could have
01:01:18
done the the kid's dad's role, too. Who's that? What's his name? I forget the actor. He's great. But I
01:01:23
mean, I'm just thinking like you could have done those. Thanks a lot. Recommend. I'm the only I'm the only [ __ ] comedian that me
01:01:29
and Nate Paransi the only comedians that golf. It's so funny. I sent Nate a picture of me and uh and I don't even No, I don't
01:01:35
even know the guy's name. This is going to piss me the [ __ ] off. I bet a guy that I like. Well, I'm sure you like him. I The fact
01:01:41
that I can't remember his name is not great, but hold on. Let me see if I can find it. Holy [ __ ] I didn't know that him and I talked.
01:01:46
So, he'll Happy Gilmore, too. You should have gotten a real golf part in that, too. Yeah. Why didn't you get a role in that? Not going to say anything bad right now if Sandra was listening. Okay. saying,
01:01:53
"Thank you, Adam. Thank you for editing." Thank you for having Adam. As if Adam would ever [ __ ] listen. No. You know what's so funny? He might
01:01:59
He's got his finger on the pulse. He's pretty He's not listening to our show. He's pretty good though. Adam
01:02:04
knows. Adam knows. He's smart. I'll be honest with you. I thought that last special that Josh Safy
01:02:10
directed was the one of the best things I've ever seen. Yeah. Fact. It was like and nobody watched it and it was so weird and it
01:02:17
was so clear that that he had an agreement with Adam to be like I'm gonna do some [ __ ] during the show. Yeah.
01:02:23
You're just gonna react to it. Well, the the special before that got a lot of love because it was more
01:02:28
Oh, that's Colum Morawa. Yeah. Yeah. So, so I sent that picture to Nate and Nate says, "This is my happiest
01:02:34
day." Oh, that's I never in a million years thought I would see this picture. You with Kora is so funny. And Kora of
01:02:40
course is a human. Asian. Yeah. Asian. He's like you, bud. Damn it. I got to kind of like you, big
01:02:46
guy. Yeah. It's like if you got a photo with Tyrion Henry or something, it would change your life. It would piss me off.
01:02:52
Yeah. God, I hope I do. He's one of the greatest French soccer players of all time.
01:02:57
Yeah. I'm not a sports guy in any way. I'm just saying if you had I know that. Well, golf's not a sport. It's an activity.
01:03:03
But I I mean, I'm athletic, but I I don't do that. Yeah, we get it. Okay. Okay. He has been working out a lot more than
01:03:08
usual. I know. Look. Look at our legs. I thought we were cutting down on the Zins, though. We're not. No,
01:03:15
the no is no we're not and we're not. Now I'm starting to see them all around my yard because I don't even spit them
01:03:21
in the right place. I'm just like and now you know you got a problem where you're like is that a zin under my
01:03:27
pillow my buddy told why did it end your podcast time finishes the stick sync. Yeah, we're going to get there.
01:03:33
The interesting interviewer no I'll be honest with you about the the stick
01:03:38
casting for me. Yeah. is that like okay so I get offered that role of mitz
01:03:45
and it's the role of the caddy so I I immediately said like I read some of the scripts I'm like I don't know anything about golf and they were and I was I was
01:03:52
basically saying no I can't do it I don't want to do it and they're like doesn't matter and I'm like okay but you
01:03:58
know I have a podcast I can't do it and they're like no we'll figure it out and I'm like and I kept telling them I
01:04:03
couldn't do it but ultimately what became appealing was a couple of things that if I want to
01:04:09
act I should do You know what I mean? Because the business is so anemic now. If you get an
01:04:15
offer and you say no, you're like, "All right, well then we're then you shouldn't do anything, right?" Because this is it.
01:04:20
Yeah. It's one of them. Yeah. But the thing that was appealing to me was outside of the I don't really need to play golf in it. No.
01:04:26
But the the the friendship between two guys who are who are sad for very deep
01:04:32
reasons and have stuck by each other for this long through through thick and thin and through these emotional cycles.
01:04:39
Well, that was kind of compelling to me to be able to play that and I and I thought I could play that. And the nature of a caddy is like fundamentally
01:04:46
codependent. I mean, you're there to to service the dude. Yep. So, that dynamic with Owen I thought was
01:04:53
really interesting and could be kind of touching and that was really what drove me to it. And I learned enough about
01:04:59
golf to to sell it, but it wasn't on me to carry the golf show.
01:05:05
Pun intended. carry as a guy. Yeah. He didn't have to carry the golf show. But it didn't matter because honestly, like
01:05:11
anything else, you got a straight offer, bro. What's that? Straight offer. Can I finish the thing with him and I so we can have a good, you know what I
01:05:16
mean? A good rapport out of it. In the middle of in the middle of the thing. Am I a bad interviewer to the
01:05:21
guys in the booth? No. You're the best. Anyway, it's a conversation, Bobby.
01:05:27
Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Ask away. Whatever else go. Well, we were going to tie it up, but it's
01:05:32
tie it up. Put a button in it. Yeah. Put You see a button in it. Do you see how good he is at the thing? On it. Yeah.
01:05:38
It's good. I think this whole comedy team thing works for you guys. And it really does. It does. Yeah. We're not like we don't we're our own
01:05:46
little ships and nobody wants to be on these on this boat by the way. Like when people say like
01:05:52
you know those worlds have been kind of um I don't want to say like corporatized or whatever eaten alive by other bigger
01:05:59
things. Yeah. And Bobby sometimes will say how come nobody wants to buy our show? Yeah. Yeah. And I'll say, "Buddy, we
01:06:05
don't we're not really sellable. We're not really like No, but you Thank God because now you just run your own ship and cash your own
01:06:11
checks whenever someone says I This is kind of funny. We don't ever have politics on the show. We never do it because we just are like, "That's not for us. Go over
01:06:18
there." Yeah. I don't like it on this show. And we had a few offers of like people, politicians wanted to come on
01:06:25
the show. None of the big ones. Yeah. But anyway, I only did a sitting president. That was I know. We We remember. But it was
01:06:31
unfortunate because it was the what? It was the the black one. It was the black one. Yeah. You said it,
01:06:36
not me. I Yeah, you were the one that Take it away, Mark. He was great. No, he was [ __ ] amazing. It was one of the best of all time.
01:06:43
No, but I said I said we shouldn't have politicians on, you know. He obviously agreed. He's like, "Yeah, I don't want that [ __ ] on here." And then I also
01:06:48
thought, had they seen this show? This is not But that's the thing. They don't give a [ __ ] All they want is your
01:06:54
audience. They don't give a [ __ ] because politicians will talk right through you. They don't give a [ __ ] They're going to
01:06:59
say what they want to say no matter what. And they're going to, you know, and you can say whatever you want and they'll be like, "Yes, but I'm going to
01:07:04
say this now." Right. I'm going to say what I want to say. And also, why'd you quit your podcast?
01:07:10
That was Bobby's question. I know, but Bobby, go ahead and ask it. Well, because um I texted you, didn't I? And what did I
01:07:16
say? You said it was very nice. Yeah. He said, "Congratulations." I said, "Thank you, podfather, and congratulations and good luck in the
01:07:22
future." Yeah. Did I say anything? I don't No, you [ __ ] did. Of course you didn't text me. No, you were like, "Why?"
01:07:28
Yeah, that's Yeah. Yeah. Why? I'll tell you why. I was mystified by it. Is that
01:07:34
right? Sure. That works. Yeah. I love when he tries. It did work. But I love it. If it were the 40s, you guys would be
01:07:39
the best team because you'd be like, "What, Bobby?" You be like, "All right.
01:07:45
Don't you think we're a good throwback?" That wasn't That wasn't even an Asian thing. No. That was just a tone. Sounded like Asian.
01:07:51
No, it was just Yeah. Yeah. I've heard villagers say that. We are like a good comedy duo from the
01:07:57
old days. Totally. of like the old stupid. You're the straight guy and he's the wacky guy, right? Yeah.
01:08:04
Um, you're like Marty Allen. Go ahead, wacky guy. Hello there. That's Marty Allen.
01:08:10
Hello there. See, that was racist. Do you see what he did? Yeah, I see what this is now. Yeah. No, no, that's it's a team up.
01:08:15
It's an old school team up. It's a team up, Bobby. Let's be serious. So, let's be serious for a second. Um,
01:08:21
uh, because you've had, I think, the best guests I mean, you could imagine. Thank you. I mean, you've had Leo,
01:08:28
right? Brad Pitt, Barack Obama. Yep. In that order, by the way. It goes Leo,
01:08:33
Brad Pitt, Barack Obama. The best one of the best moments of the podcast, we had Barack Obama on and then
01:08:39
President Obama. And then we did, me and my producer did a sort of post talk about what it was like to have the
01:08:45
president on. And people were like, "Who you going to put on after that?" And we were like, "I think Rich Boss."
01:08:50
Wow. Wow. Wow. Rich was very funny. Little drop though. The best. a little drop from the
01:08:57
president of the United States. Voss is so funny. I you know I've known him forever. He's so funny. So funny.
01:09:02
I I knew him when I was starting out in Boston. He used to come up from New York and back then he had like this Jerry
01:09:07
curl Italian ponytail, little Italian horn necklace. So, but he was always
01:09:14
something. But it was so funny. I had a great interaction with him. Uh cuz you know he knows Norton and you know I'm
01:09:19
friends with Norton. I haven't talked to Norton in a while. And I saw Voss at the comedy store and I'm like how's Jimmy doing? Is Jimmy doing all right? Had you
01:09:25
heard from him? And he goes, Jimmy's great. Uh, he's got a beautiful wife with a huge cop.
01:09:33
All true. All true. Yeah. Yeah. Why'd you make the decision? Your hair looks good, buddy.
01:09:38
Please stop. It does. Stop with this. It does. I'm not. You know what, guy? Oh, boy.
01:09:44
Oh, boy. You're misreading me again. No, I'm not misreading. Yes, you are. You always think that I'm like, you know, condescending or I'm
01:09:49
busting your balls. I'm being because of the history we once had. Yeah, but at one point you didn't like me.
01:09:54
No, that's not true. That was all in your head. Okay. At one point he doesn't like everybody. That's not true. I'm just
01:09:59
But then he learns to like you a little bit. I'm just guarded. It's not not that You've never had a point where you
01:10:05
didn't like him or you didn't like me. I never didn't like you. I didn't know you like I
01:10:10
There we go. That's how he does it. That's how he does it. That's how he does it. All right. Good. I didn't know you either. I treated you like [ __ ]
01:10:16
And here's the problem. I would argue that I didn't treat you like [ __ ] I may have come off as uh a lot of people
01:10:22
think arrogant, but it's not. I'm just like I'm just guarded. Everybody thinks it may have,
01:10:28
but you know me now. I do. Yeah. I'm a pretty softy guy
01:10:34
once you get the the key to me. But here's the problem, Mark. Yes, that is to be true. The problem is losers like us.
01:10:42
Yeah, we [ __ ] loved you through it because we were like, I still really like him and I really want him to like me, but I don't think he likes me. And
01:10:48
we did that. And we all did that. Although I was So, did I tell you about Oklahoma City? No. I'm shooting the Green Day movie in
01:10:54
Oklahoma City. Yeah. I'm at the hotel. I have the day off and I'm coming out of my hotel room and
01:10:59
from afar I see the back of his head. But I thought there's no way that's He
01:11:06
turns around and it was the most exciting. I I kind of I speed ran towards you. It
01:11:13
was unbelievable. Yeah. Yeah. He was doing a show there. Yeah, I was stuck in a hotel. Yeah, it was a great meeting.
01:11:20
But he had the other times when he didn't look at you in the hallway and you remember those days? Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think that you
01:11:26
didn't like my style of comedy. I'm a I'm very needy on stage. I use little
01:11:31
tricks. I approve. Who isn't needy on stage? Yeah. I use tricks on stage that you wouldn't, you know, I mean, do.
01:11:38
Let's be honest. What are some of the tricks? Right. Just like, you know, what's not a Mark Merritt trick that you do? Like kiss people on the lips, different
01:11:44
things like, you know, shot. Show. Yeah. Show the belly. Show the belly. The little tricks that
01:11:50
you But I I want you to know that once you guys, anybody, any comic, once you
01:11:56
figure out the trick of me and you figure out how to bust my balls, it's over. Yeah, it is. I don't believe that. I believe you
01:12:01
softened. No, no, no, no. He's saying there's a Look, dude, he's saying he softened. He's saying there's a [ __ ] code and
01:12:08
you got to get to the once you get the You know what it is in video game? Like once you found out where that extra
01:12:13
thing was in Mario and you were like, I know how to get that [ __ ] thing. Oh, right. Right. Right. But it looked threatening and hard but
01:12:19
really like you jump on the mushroom, you get to the thing, then you then you get it. That's what it really
01:12:25
is. That's Mark's thing. Doesn't that make sense? Yeah, it does. And you got to get there. But also when I knew you the right, it
01:12:31
was like I knew you when WTF was new. Yeah. Even before when you were married to me.
01:12:38
Yeah. Right. weird.
01:12:45
Maybe it was a secret or something. I'm through it. I knew you're through it. Yeah. Yeah. He's through it. Yeah. Yeah. Jesus. Yeah. Which, you know, I
01:12:50
have feelings about, but uh Yeah. But I knew when you weren't as successful. Yeah.
01:12:56
And you know, the reason why you started WTF is because you were in a good place. Bad place. Very bad place. And you were a little
01:13:02
angry and sad. Yeah. Right. And so I think that once you got through the
01:13:08
divorce, you right. And um right and then you know WTF started
01:13:13
taking off. Then you were getting TV spots and you were all the things that you deserved you
01:13:19
got. Yeah. Okay. And then you softened. Well, I softened with age and I softened with a lot of stuff. But yeah, I but I
01:13:25
but also the the primary intention of WTF at the beginning was to sort of
01:13:31
settle these scores of people that either I did have problems with or people had problems with me. And most of
01:13:36
the time when I thought I had, you know, caused some trouble for somebody or they didn't like me, they didn't even know
01:13:42
what I was talking about. And I be, you know, I'd bring up these events and
01:13:47
be like, "Oh, yeah, okay, I guess." And it was like I had decided somehow that I
01:13:52
was an outsider of the community. You're not. And no, I'm not. But but I'm crazy.
01:13:58
Okay. So that's true. You're a leader. Well, yeah, you are. You're a leader in the
01:14:03
community. You're one of the forefathers, but you're also crazy. It just lines up. Yeah. Yeah. A little bit paranoid. Just
01:14:09
say it. What? What? What? Why? Why did I stop? Just why? Why are you done? Why?
01:14:15
Oh. Oh. Well, the truth is like we've been doing it 16 years and you know, when we set
01:14:21
out to do it, it was not there was no money to be made. It was really just an an act of trying to create something,
01:14:27
you know, honest and interesting. And it evolved over time. And then my producer and I were audio guys and he's a very
01:14:34
specific type of producer. He spends a lot of time with these interviews. He crafts them and the and over time it
01:14:41
developed a very personal style and it was sort of a a a sort of the arc of my life and my engagement with these
01:14:47
people. But it was ultimately a lot about me. And the thing about the show
01:14:54
is that we we've worked very hard at it there. We never wanted to do video. was
01:14:59
never part of our thing. We're not content generators. We're not We don't put things into the world to make money
01:15:06
really. And the fact was is three years ago we got that deal with the platform and it was something we deserved and it
01:15:13
was not a huge deal but it was a good one. It was a good one and you know we got in under the wire on that and and right before we took the
01:15:21
platform deal we were like you know we don't have to keep doing this. We've done an amazing thing. We've helped sort
01:15:27
of create a foundation for this medium. We've created a style of doing it that a
01:15:32
lot of people coped and you know we're still operating at uh the quality has
01:15:37
never shifted. The audience has never gone away but it really becomes a question of like how long do we need to
01:15:44
do this? And the arc of the deal with the platform is three years and it's coming up on that and we made our money
01:15:52
in a way but it's it's it it becomes the the I think the landscape's different
01:15:59
you know we do what we do and people still do it come to it audio is a great thing but after a certain point it's
01:16:06
like we've interviewed everybody and my producers like were a little
01:16:11
exhausted it's consumed our entire lives and we just thought like in terms of our our legacy, why not just let it be done,
01:16:20
you know? Why you why do you want to end up like down the line having people going like, "Oh, Marin still doing it."
01:16:26
Who the [ __ ] needs that? Yeah. God, that's wild. By the way, he gets regarded as an interviewer in public and
01:16:31
you and I are at the airport and people go, "Bob's mom." That's what we hear. Yeah. You know what I also get? The
01:16:37
reason I'm doing a special is because podcasters come see my show and then afterwards they go, "Wow, we didn't
01:16:43
think you could do standup." I know. They never knew you did it. Yeah. They never even knew I did it. And that's the most important thing in
01:16:48
our life. Yes. When's yours coming out? I shoot it in January. Is it going to How long is it going to
01:16:54
be? [Laughter]
01:17:00
You know, a headline on the road. Mark, how many openers you
01:17:06
Huh? Two or three? No, no, no. Yeah, I do. Three or four? Yeah. You have to understand something. I
01:17:12
think you're [ __ ] hilarious. Okay. And you don't believe that? You're doing a special. Oh, he doesn't want the attention.
01:17:18
I don't want the attention. Yeah. You're doing I shot a special in New York. Yes. And I think it's one of the best I've done.
01:17:23
Where is it at? Where did you I shot it at the Bam Harvey. It's like uh it's in Brooklyn. Okay.
01:17:29
I was going to do it at town hall again, but I didn't I didn't I don't love that space. I said there's isn't there like an 800 900 seater anywhere in New York.
01:17:36
You only did one show. No, I did two shows, but the theater is like this old theater from the early 1900s and they've they've
01:17:43
maintained it, but they didn't restore it. So, it almost has sort of a half a ruin feeling and they had this back wall that looked
01:17:50
like a [ __ ] piece of modern art. And I'm like, that wall is the whole thing. We got to we got to make that part of
01:17:55
it. And the production design on it, it's [ __ ] genius. Wow. The guy like the production design guy,
01:18:01
he saw the space and he wanted to integrate it. And I'm I'm the of the mind that you can't really make those things look that much different than
01:18:07
anything else. No, leave him alone. But this guy was genius. He goes, I'm thinking Katsuki. And I'm like, I don't even know what the [ __ ] that is. So I
01:18:14
Google it and it's this ancient Japanese art of restoring ceramics with gold to to in the cracks. It's all and he and
01:18:21
I'm like, all right, well that sounds good. You just do that. So he just created this vibe that was amazing. I
01:18:26
did a full [ __ ] 73 minutes. I had it in my mind. 73. Well, they wanted an hour and like I
01:18:33
believe this is what we work for. And that's why I love HBO is because they they curate [ __ ] They're still
01:18:39
producing good [ __ ] Yeah. And I and they they're like, "You're going to do an hour?" And I'm like, "Yeah, I'm going to do an hour." But
01:18:45
then I was like, "I think it should be 73 because my last special was 73." So I
01:18:51
got it in my head that that was that's what I could do, 73. And uh they were
01:18:56
like, "All right, fine. Do it." And it's so [ __ ] up. And I guess it's just a testim test testament to how long I've
01:19:02
been doing this. Like I had like an hour and 45 for the tour and I knew a few weeks going into it that I had to get it
01:19:07
down. And I just got the redundancies out. I found the callbacks. But I swear to God, both shows that I did that
01:19:13
night. 73 minutes like on the [ __ ] dot. Wow. No. No. Cognizant of the time. You were
01:19:19
just rolling. No. Wow. And I look at the clock and I'm closing at 73. I'm like, I know how to do this.
01:19:24
73 is phenomenal. Yeah. It's good though. And I I just want to tell you it's gonna be on the HBO. HBO. It
01:19:30
premiered August 1st. August 1st. August 1st. Go check it out. Yeah. What's it called?
01:19:36
Panicked. Literally perfect. It's perfect. And by the way, for the record, go see
01:19:42
uh watch Panicked right now on HBO. Uh a great name is hard to find. We're trying to find his name for his special.
01:19:48
Yeah, we'll figure it out later. No, give him Come on. Could you call it Bobby?
01:19:54
Yeah, that's good. With a lot of ease. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Bobby. It was going to be called Trauma Llama.
01:20:00
Yeah, that's pretty good. Yeah. Trauma Llama is really good. AI generated that unfortunately as we we
01:20:05
asked what AI thought it would be. What's in the running though? Really? I have no idea.
01:20:10
Well, no. We had a few. The Slept King. He likes trauma llama. [ __ ] in the armor.
01:20:16
I think that one's very funny. I do think that one's very funny. Yeah, AI came up with all these.
01:20:21
Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, watch. What was the other one? Tiger Daddy. Tiger Daddy. Oh, that's pretty good. Tiger Daddy.
01:20:28
I think you should capitalize on, you know, the name of the these shows. Yeah, you should. Yeah. Well, my nickname in on Tiger, but
01:20:34
my other podcast is uh the slept king, right? Yeah. The what king? The slept king.
01:20:40
What is that? Slept. Yeah, cuz I'm not woke. I'm the opposite. It's too complicated. See what?
01:20:45
It's hard to find. It's hard to get. Panicked. Panicked on HBO. I see it. Did I get it? Okay. And I'm sure you named that yourself.
01:20:52
I did. We had a a few things in the running, but I I I kind of stuck with that one. I'm like, let's just do this.
01:20:57
What was the other one? Yeah. What was the other one? You don't have to clear it with HBO, right? They don't care. They say got to Oh, you do?
01:21:02
Yeah. And I Yeah, you definitely got to clear it with HBO. But we were going with one that I thought was too long and
01:21:08
now I can't even remember. Equinimity and the Bird Theory or whatever. Exactly. Yeah. No, I just was But it's
01:21:14
really hard to find those one-word ones and you kind of feel like you need to. So many of them had done already,
01:21:19
right? Or it's or it's or it's it's two words, but it's quick. It's got to be pop-up. Yeah. Yeah. It's got to be fast.
01:21:24
Yeah. I can't remember the [ __ ] other names. It's so crazy. But when I got Panicked, I'm like, "This is it."
01:21:29
Panicked is perfect. Thank you. Panicked is perfect. Go see Panicked on HBO. All right. Thanks. For those of our fans of
01:21:35
We love you. We always say, "Thank you for being a bad friend to the audience, and I want you to do it because it'll be a nice sign off for us." Uh,
01:21:42
thank you for being a bad friend. And that's it. No, don't cut him off, will
01:21:48
you? That's it. [ __ ] You do more. And I'll be honest with you, these two
01:21:53
guys are good friends and of of mine. And if I was in a pinch, I know I could
01:22:00
call either of these. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. We love you. Wow. That
01:22:05
[Music]
01:22:14
Woo. Yeah.
01:22:20
Woo. Yeah.
