00:00:00
so hey guys we have some new merch new merch this merch is very special yeah it's special to us and it's G to help
00:00:05
somebody that we love so much and she's going to she created a little written a little monologue a little monologue for
00:00:11
to pitch it go ahead so go ahead please no no no what the
00:00:22
[ __ ] please buy the merch so I can pay for college and I can go to parties look
00:00:29
sad look s say please buy I I if you don't buy I don't have party and fun if
00:00:35
you don't buy then I can't go to parties and I can't learn anything okay show the
00:00:40
shorts show the shirt and show the shorts Rudy yeah go to go to bad friends
00:00:46
merch.com and buy that stuff for Rudy jewes so she can um go to parties and have fun also uh I'm on tour Andrew
00:00:53
Santino dcom I'm going everywhere everywhere ino.com come see me baby you
00:00:58
two are bad friends these two idiots a white dude and an Asian dude you two are
00:01:06
disgusting you two are something we're bad friends I was in a good mood coming
00:01:11
here no I'm being real I was in a really good mood coming here where I was singing songs Be Free together every day
00:01:19
be free together right and I was singing these songs I was making up yeah and I come in here and as soon as you you
00:01:24
opened your mouth it was like I like how higher up you are in the
00:01:30
chair now yeah you did this no I didn't do it I didn't do it Pete did it cuz he said Bobby's getting longer he's getting
00:01:37
wider this way and shorter this way I think the more your belly grow the lower you go to the Earth baby
00:01:45
let's do some of these comedy Pete Pete what the [ __ ] man come
00:01:50
on dude the thing fell off the wall again oh [ __ ] sorry sorry sorry dude I asked him to screw oh my God where's the
00:01:58
remote I thought the screws were work that we had I'm sorry no they did I said give me they give me 1/8 of an inch and then what did you get me I got the quar
00:02:04
inch yeah you got a quarter inch dude it's not even that hard to do Pete no offense but but now now we have to be at
00:02:10
Home Depot in the middle of our shoes I'll be better is that fancy no
00:02:17
way no way fancy fancy get over
00:02:25
here what are you doing
00:02:32
oh hey guys what are you doing here fans andas well you guys fired me from the
00:02:38
show and I I fell on hard times but I'm I'm working do you guys need any no we don't need any yes we need help at the
00:02:45
show get in the car get back to the show get in the car I don't get in the car
00:02:50
say goodbye to your friends and get in I will do if you want my friend okay we can get him instead you want me to get
00:02:56
him okay I get in get in say goodbye
00:03:03
hio fan welcome back fancy but I have no are you excited
00:03:11
fancy is back fancy I'll be honest with you I'm
00:03:17
being honest with you I didn't even know he was gone you didn't even miss him a little bit I'm going to tell you the
00:03:23
truth right now I didn't even know he gone fancy I missed you so very much Rudy did you miss the fans yeah I missed
00:03:29
you Andre thank you guys I honestly you know I didn't know you were gone so I didn't miss you but by seeing you now um
00:03:37
it's good to see you again well you definitely missed fans well when's the last time I saw them cuz all we had we
00:03:43
had Pete and Bryce which is like but I understand that but it's um when I was
00:03:48
did fancy leave after I got back from Hungary yeah so I got back from Hungary
00:03:53
then he left he was gone I think I think and then for a couple of weeks you were gone and now where' you go where'd you
00:03:59
go I went to Spain to see my family oh for cuz you hadn't seen them in a long time
00:04:04
in two years yeah yeah yeah and what does uh Papa Andreas look like now he looks good he looks good now how come
00:04:11
you how come how come you don't look good
00:04:18
fancy y it would I think no it skipped the generation oh it does that it's
00:04:24
always like really handsome right and then just ugly ugly yeah and then it goes back to he's a cutie patootie I
00:04:31
missed him so very much and also I want to make it aware Rudy's wearing her Rudy University shirt Rudy show the shirt for
00:04:37
the fans there it is uh these Rudy University shirts are available now and Rudy is going to get this money for
00:04:43
college and what did we say the money from the shirts is going for college no Coca-Cola no Coca-Cola in the in in the
00:04:51
nose in the Coca-Cola in the nose none of the fun if we find out that they're using the money for something else you're done for pal we'll sue you and
00:04:57
then also also you can't take the money and go on vacation with
00:05:03
Diego what all right is this is this like popping off you have a real relationship now with Diego no I don't
00:05:10
have any relationship I kind to tell you what happened though yeah so we're at the
00:05:16
beach right and uh Diego's there selling coconut water no no no Diego was there
00:05:22
with his family selling coconut water yeah yeah and some sort of weird mushroom that he collected you know what
00:05:27
I mean and then um so he was there and these are chant no he was actually like
00:05:33
a cute very handsome how tall young man tall guy 5'9 510 um just like kind of
00:05:40
got keano reevesy hair oh good nice hair yeah yeah and he kind of comes up and he goes hey dude it's not my fault that
00:05:47
you're famous he comes to me that's what he said yeah yeah that's a good line that's a great line hey man it's not my fault you're famous I got to get a photo
00:05:54
dog this guy's great great right I love this guy I got half hard yeah ooh right
00:06:00
ooh so you know I'm looking at him and we take the photo and um young cute and
00:06:07
he just kind of walks away smooth and goes he he he does a he go drives into
00:06:13
the ocean he does he does his you know the butterfly oh he can swim yeah he's butterfly does he swim do is it
00:06:20
something he does I don't know you said the back muscles shimmering in the ocean right are you sure you're not into no
00:06:27
and like you know how like the the the bathing suit gets wet so you can see the ass cheeks better so he's doing strokes
00:06:35
and the ass cheeks will come out son would how old is this boy legal definitely legal right ass chicks would
00:06:43
stick out of the water right and I would like all right and at one point I didn't know where he went so I kind of just walked around the beach to locate him
00:06:50
again yeah there he is now he's on his back and you know his not that I was looking but his little pee pee was
00:06:56
sticking out of the ocean out of the ocean right and it was kind of like a buoy his way to me it was like a buoy so
00:07:03
I could follow the buoy yeah bobbing back Bob almost like a like a shark
00:07:09
like anyway um
00:07:14
then what's a crispy what is that noise what's crunching fancy your mic chewing
00:07:20
or are you um oh yeah turn your mic off [ __ ] piece of [ __ ] dude you're this
00:07:27
guy this what happened I'm in the middle of a thing because he gets fired and he thinks now he thinks he's You're Not
00:07:34
Safe You're Not Safe dude what are you eating into the microphone you cannot fire me again oh oh my favorite candy
00:07:40
what is it it's called kitas It's amazing give it to me give it to us so
00:07:46
you can't have it anymore I want some I feel like a teacher bring it into the office right now or you're go or you're
00:07:52
going home pal is it really your favorite candy is this real what is
00:07:57
it give it to Rudy what is it [Music]
00:08:07
called it's got do you see it let me see it might be the most racist thing I've
00:08:12
ever seen oh my God oh my God so the audience can see it
00:08:18
at home oh most racist fancy I yeah fancy
00:08:25
conitos means what uh like let me just say something this do you want to guess
00:08:31
can I also say this right it's like when they when they were designing the M&M's right the little M&M's and they went to
00:08:37
the brown Eminem some guy said just don't put red lips on
00:08:43
it you know what I mean and goito [ __ ] it you have to put red lips on it red
00:08:49
lusious lips on it this couldn't be more racist it's the most racist thing I've ever seen it's so funny Pete bring up an image of conito so people can see what
00:08:56
is it it's chocolate what again it's chocolate yeah it's peanuts oh it's just peanuts
00:09:02
yeah oh my God these are oh my God oh my God oh my
00:09:08
God conitos oh my God
00:09:13
conitos the delicious racist treat oh my God oh my God holy [ __ ] did you like
00:09:20
chocolate cover racism I know I can't that is insane but
00:09:27
can I be honest with you these are so good so [ __ ] worth it sometimes it's just like sometimes it's that's how
00:09:32
confident they are right we're going to put this racist thing but they'll still buy it you know it's so [ __ ]
00:09:39
delicious they're confident they're so good they can be racist yeah yeah yeah fancy did you honestly like bring those
00:09:45
in and make the noise so you could do that bit
00:09:50
no such a good actor no such a bad actor that is so funny
00:09:57
though by the way because but but I'm just saying this is the way that worked to me now thinking back was perfect so
00:10:04
he's in Spain yeah you know he's at like a a store he sees Kito C how do you say
00:10:10
11 on C he's at the 7-Eleven there the and he looks at the thing I think this
00:10:17
will be good for bad friends right oh this is a good beat yeah so he brings it back M right he eats it live in front of
00:10:23
Liv he makes makes the rapper loud turn his who the [ __ ] eats like that he does yeah yeah yeah so I get out how how it
00:10:30
works but you know what it worked for the program so thank you fans 1 two 3 thank you fans thank you fans Rudy I
00:10:36
watched did you post on your story in Hawaii of you Swimming with Sharks yeah did you why didn't you keep that video
00:10:41
up I oh I just posted it on my story not mine it was so cool did did you swim
00:10:47
with sharks I did it the the last time I didn't do it this time oh it looks so cool it was scary do you still have it
00:10:53
on your phone the video I think send it to Pete and so we can show it the the time before that I did it I was with
00:11:00
Kila and her sister and there was one point where me and Cinda kila's sister was clinging
00:11:06
onto the boat like scared of sharks yeah because it's like they have all these rules right like you know mean don't
00:11:13
what was the rules don't lock do you lock eyes with it or no you have to lock eyes you lock eyes with it so it knows that you're not afraid it then you have
00:11:20
to be above it right is that one of them swim above you can't flounder flounder what it was it flounder what don't
00:11:26
flounder no don't don't be a cool little cute fish in the sea no look let's go don't don't move your limbs erratically
00:11:34
yeah but what is that word Flander floundering floundering don't whatever that is whatever that is do that fler
00:11:41
but it's like but let me say something it's like that in the human world as well you look people in the eye
00:11:48
no you do all those things you stay above them above them and you don't don't flounder right but and then the
00:11:54
human beings that you live amongst right they they act accordingly right but you always have Crazy Ones yeah right you
00:12:01
always have the ders you have the guy that show up Virginia TCH you I mean the
00:12:06
you know the the you know couple Ed couple of loose sharks out there right so when you're out there and they tell
00:12:13
you the rules that's that necessarily doesn't mean that you can't get eaten
00:12:18
right there can be Rogue there can be Rogue sharks right so me and quinda were out there and one shark was looking up
00:12:24
at us and he goes nah oh he was over it yeah I was doing all the things like this you know what I mean I just locked
00:12:30
eyes and I could see him go no you know how they say that people cuz they they a lot of times Surfers get bit they say because it looks like a fish cuz the
00:12:36
surfboard is is bowed like this and then your arms are out so it looks like the limbs of a turtle or a fish for you they
00:12:42
look up it looks like a a perfect little dumpling just floating a beautiful little like a piece of bow you know a
00:12:48
piece of dim some just a beautiful piece of of fried pork and veggies you could
00:12:54
have said something like um a seal no like a pudgy seal I had to make it Asian
00:12:59
thing I know but you do look like a seal thank you no but in a good way yeah yeah
00:13:05
anyway I probably don't look like the humans like a regular yeah like you know like a lean you me I kind of you know
00:13:11
what I mean I do this like a turtle they think you're a turtle yeah yeah so I'm out there like this they think you're on this literally what they see right and I
00:13:18
and I I I'm doing this with my face I'm scared right and then they're like nah
00:13:23
so they so one shark went up and then Quin and I went to the surface we clung on to the boat and we tried to to climb
00:13:29
on the boat did it come near you near you yeah it was like right by our legs waiting for you to slip up so when they
00:13:35
this time when they went I was like no no you're not doing it you weren't scared at all were you Rudy I was kind
00:13:41
of scared but when I got just lie just lie were you scared no I wasn't scared perfect wait you were a little bit
00:13:46
scared when you first got in yeah you were yeah what calmed you down when I got in the water and I saw them I just
00:13:53
didn't care anymore you just didn't feel threatened no wow is this is true is this true this is stup I'm being aumb
00:14:00
guy but is it true that they don't allow you to go in if you're on your period do they ask women if you're on your period
00:14:05
no it doesn't matter it doesn't matter why blood blood and water they can smell much blood no no no but they can just
00:14:11
smell any leakage of blood yeah so if I have like I bite my nails seriously if there's blood in the water they can smell they can smell blood from miles
00:14:18
away I have like blood farts like if I farted in the ocean blood fart guys can't go in that's their rules they said
00:14:24
people with their periods blood fart guys and if you got maybe that's what it was cuz I always do blood farts the water in the water a bubble like a red
00:14:32
bubble in the ocean so you're swimming and it's a red bubble and the Sharks go
00:14:37
yum oh oh that guy looks good yeah yeah I'll just gobble up the Bob bubble you know what I mean but can we blood fart
00:14:43
blood fart but back to Diego I know you want to go back to Diego you thought I was going to go away from it I knew we
00:14:49
he's a nice guy we're not making fun of him right so he's how old is he 20 21 20
00:14:55
or 21 he was there with his family he's from San Diego his so we go Jules Jules he's in the go
00:15:01
swim right cuz she said that he was cute and yes Diego she thinks you're cute
00:15:07
wake up wake up obviously she thinks also Diego right she's the co-star of a
00:15:13
very popular podcast no no no the most popular podcast one of the most popular podcast the most popular let's quit it
00:15:19
to music back in the late 60s it would be were mama and the Papas we're BG's we're the BG's we're the bgs right and
00:15:26
she's Starship she's morce 100% so who who am I you're Barry you're
00:15:32
Barry I'm Barry you're you got to be Barry yeah and you're I'm the one with the [ __ ] up face you're the one with the [ __ ] up F the tee with the teeth
00:15:39
yeah yeah so but you're Maurice right so we're the be's um anyway um she was too
00:15:45
shy to do it we kept pushing her well the pushing her is not going to make her go do it but her sister came up whose
00:15:51
sister Diego's sister oh Diego's sister you know I mean how old are they Diego's
00:15:56
sister was 23 yeah a little bit older little more confidence right she just comes over and she goes my brother said
00:16:02
that you were famous I just don't know who the [ __ ] you are oo little cocky yeah but I liked it though yeah smooth I
00:16:08
liked it I wanted first my first reaction I wanted to go like just right off the face that right right but I went
00:16:16
good good that was confident very good yeah so so she says you my brother says you're famous I don't know who you are
00:16:22
and you say yeah [ __ ] I'm no I go you know you have to play humble so I go
00:16:28
yeah not a lot of people do it's I don't know it's a cult thing so it's a cult thing mhm so then um Diego comes out of
00:16:35
the water looking like a snack oh just wet looking like a conitos looking like a chocolate covered
00:16:42
peanut here comes the kitos it was Diego not Ian
00:16:48
Edwards all right it was Ian Edwards it was okay it was Diego not Devon I
00:16:54
understand right all right she comes up and um they exchange information
00:16:59
right are you embarrassed right now no I'm being genuine when I say this how does this go in your generation now when
00:17:05
you say is it right away like let me get your number or is it like let me get your Instagram or how does that work
00:17:10
Instagram yeah it's Graham see that's so funny gr like but our generation when you it was it was always like can I have
00:17:15
your you'd have to ask the girl for her number your home number right can I have your home number can I have your home phone number right that you can never
00:17:21
get them at home either right you just you would call 20 times a day this is what happened literally it was and the
00:17:27
dad would answer hello hang immedi I would hang up immediately I was so scared or I always wanted like answering
00:17:34
machine I loved answering machine and here's the thing I would leave a message like if I met a girl yeah and then I
00:17:41
wouldn't leave the house for 3 days just waiting for them to until the phone call right dude this is so funny and back then you had no Postmates or anything
00:17:48
like that right so You' just be sitting there you're like I'm not going to eat food for a day and a half you even go to the another room cuz you you want you
00:17:54
miss the call I can't miss this call yeah so you're just staring at the phone for like 24 hours God you that's so funny you guys will never know that
00:17:59
feeling of like when you leave a message so if I called a girl and her mom answered then I could handle it but if
00:18:05
the dad answered or theang or the brother oh my God I'd throw the [ __ ] phone if the brother's like what's up
00:18:11
I'm like [ __ ] this I would hang up immediately yeah cuz the brother's already hated you they [ __ ] hated you
00:18:16
so you weren't going to be like hey man what's up because they're like what did you want what did people do when they were like late for work you like you're
00:18:25
in the car right you were just allowed to be late are you sure well then you'd show up and you'd go sorry I was late
00:18:30
there was an accident and because they couldn't check it on social media they were like oh there must have been an accident oh you could say anything you
00:18:35
got away with everything yeah there was a gigantic lizard like I thought it was Godzilla at first but and and everybody your boss is like wow lizards are out
00:18:41
again all right well good luck in the office better help Bob oh my God we've
00:18:47
talked about this on the show it's it's honestly it's the best service yeah that
00:18:52
we we could ever promote because it's something that we use in our own lives um I'm going to ask you Andrew is there
00:18:58
something interfering with your happiness or preventing you from achieving your goals probably a lot of things a lot of things and I'm going to tell you this right now better help will
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help right it's uh it's your own licensed professional therapist and you
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00:19:15
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00:19:21
and it's just a great service yeah I mean look traditional uh in-person therapy tends to be pretty expensive and
00:19:27
also people don't like to go to the office is especially because Rona um I think this is amazing because you can
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I remember going to the movie theater I never forget I was meeting my friends Matt Brent um Shawn at the movie theater
00:21:38
and something was miscommunicated the timing or something right I get there
00:21:43
nobody's there yeah nobody's there yeah my mom dropped me off this is the thing I couldn't text
00:21:51
mom come back no I'm there alone yeah at the movie theater what did I do I
00:21:56
watched the movie by myself yeah yeah I went and I watched the movie and then when I came up my mom picked me up and she was like how was it I was like
00:22:01
nobody was here yeah I was here by myself and then I realized when we I got home I called them and they're like no
00:22:06
tomorrow we're going tomorrow okay I already saw it so now it's I can't go there was no way to go oh [ __ ] we
00:22:13
screwed up it's tomorrow no you just have to like live through those moments oh the you you were you around when when
00:22:20
you got auditions you had to show up at your agency to get the sides please and also you had to [ __ ] do this the
00:22:26
stupid like slate videos in their office and hand them a head shot you'd have to go get your head shot printed out hand
00:22:32
them the head shot stand there and they would take photos and you just gave them a [ __ ] photo yeah and then they would
00:22:38
do a video of you going hi 6' one and then turn to the side and then turn to the side and then you'd give them all
00:22:44
your [ __ ] read your [ __ ] and then get out well we would they my agency had a filing cabinet in an Alleyway outside
00:22:52
the agency and they would say you know we're the office is closed but go to the filing cabinet so then you would show up
00:22:58
you drive all the way to Beverly Hills or wherever right you'd wait in line with other actors to get the sides to
00:23:04
get the sides and some guy doesn't know his last name jski I where's the day you know what I mean and then you would it
00:23:09
would spend You' spend two hours doing this that's insane and then you would get it finally and your line is yes I
00:23:15
can or whatever it's like one line and then you're just like super salad and
00:23:20
then you don't get then you don't get it either of course you're not going to get you show the next day you don't get it it's the worst uh those days are all
00:23:26
gone now you have the easiest venience of let me get your Instagram so he gets your Gram back to Diego our favorite
00:23:32
conitos so he gets your Instagram and you go hit me up on the gram and I'll talk to you later and then he goes away
00:23:39
yeah you weren't chatting a little bit um he just asked if I was related to
00:23:45
Bobby and you said yes yeah and then that's what else we're not yeah but for
00:23:50
the but for this it doesn't oh oh but in certain in circumstances some circumstances you use that of course but
00:23:55
in other circumstances you don't like we're at a restaurant and I'll go that's my daughter and she'll go no he's not we're not blood related she'll just say
00:24:02
that out loud I don't know he I just happen to live with it you know what I mean she like goes into an explanation but when it comes to [ __ ] Diego you
00:24:08
go yeah we're related I get it I totally get it you got to use it to your advantage you would do the exact same
00:24:13
thing anyway they've been doing messages back and forth okay so you DM Instagram
00:24:19
no but no phone number exchange yet no phone just d right does it ever go to phone number or no I don't know she
00:24:26
doesn't know to do it that's what we're going to is this the first time dming with a boy like this kind of oo yeah he
00:24:33
lives in San Diego so I was telling her to to just go here's something Rudy doesn't know we've hacked your phone
00:24:39
we're going to bring up bring up the DMS Pete we have them right here we'd like to read them out loud yeah no but what she has to do is take a risk and go at
00:24:46
least hey if you're ever in La let's hang out or something like that or invite him up to La yeah yeah why don't
00:24:53
you invite him up be like come up here and let's watch a movie or have dinner on a movie would you do that
00:25:00
uh no it doesn't seem can you do this and this would like really show me if
00:25:06
you if we're think if you think we're blood related and we're really close
00:25:11
yeah there that means trust and there's like a you know a bond trust that you and I have and it would really show me a
00:25:17
lot if you just gave me your Instagram right now no I guess there's no trust no
00:25:24
trust and just just listen and we won't I promise you we won't send it until we
00:25:31
get your Okay the message I think that's let's do it yeah yeah I don't
00:25:38
try come on just doy Rudy I promise you I promise you I won't send it this is
00:25:43
for the show and if I send it how about this if I do send it without your approval we keep mama okay okay okay oh
00:25:51
my God now you now she wants you to send it yeah yeah all right so throw the DM over there and we're not going to be
00:25:57
able to put it up to show the so you have to dictate everything cuz we can't show them I dictate I'll dictate it yeah yeah don't start deleting stuff now I
00:26:04
won't go hand him the phone yeah give me the phone this is great this is a breakthrough moment for you guys I know bring it over here all right Slow Down
00:26:11
slow down you don't want to be that kind of parent you know give me the [ __ ] thing when are you not in pajamas by the
00:26:18
way I it's said thater I said that wear some adult clothes so we need to buy you some
00:26:23
clothes okay I just we one thing that like makes me want to vomit already do you do you want do it so it's l for you
00:26:29
she knows I'm not going to text him no no I just someone say you just said George is the best
00:26:35
what what does that even mean so you're lying I like George he's not the best
00:26:41
he's not even close to being the best yeah he's middle he's fine he's okay he's fine he's normal George is the best
00:26:48
I want to see what you typ in it he's not going to type anything yet can I just say this right now and time out real fast George George has George has
00:26:56
16,000 followers I want to I want to say this for my fans right now cuz fancy and I went to lunch today yeah George has
00:27:02
16,000 fancy has 15.9 he is about to pass George on Instagram and you know
00:27:07
how mad George is going to be please follow Fancy please follow fancy and we'll put it right down here it's fancy
00:27:13
b period one fancy b period one please follow fancy we love you go D dude so I just want this is the kind of she's
00:27:19
playing a game what just let me finish we'll cut this out if you if you're too
00:27:24
uncomfortable about it all right Bob we're not going to cut it out I know so I just want to so at
00:27:30
12:52 today right p.m. p.m. today post meridian he goes how does it feel like
00:27:38
to be back in La how does it feel like to be back in La her right okay no response from her let's hear what it
00:27:44
sounds like from a Spaniard what is it let's hear how he would say it go ahead fans how does it feel to be back in La
00:27:50
Rudy right okay but no response from her o cold so now he's kind of waiting around he's like ah no response so he
00:27:57
gives another thing uh-oh Diego Diego uh oh Diego Diego actually um how long have
00:28:03
you been in La for oh let's hear it fans how long have you been in a l for
00:28:09
oh it sounds desperate so desperate it's so desperate right so and then you haven't responded back why not cuz I
00:28:17
just don't want to yet we're really blowing up your spot so let's respond then yeah um yeah because you know byit
00:28:24
by the way we're not making fun of Diego or your DM change and if it was very private we would never talk about on the show that being said we're showing Diego
00:28:31
live on a show how rude you are for not responding rude I'm not no that is rude
00:28:37
yeah it's so rude so rude um let's respond Bob how long have you been in La how
00:28:42
about like um you know for a while but I haven't really met anyone quite like
00:28:50
you yeah for a while hold hold on hold on hold on make
00:28:55
a make a joke first all right make a joke first like uh the boat sunk after I
00:29:00
got over here so something like that yeah wait how's it how actually how long
00:29:06
La for um long enough they'll say like 80 Sons or something like that 80
00:29:13
Sons a really lame Miss 80 Sons no how how long how long have you been in La
00:29:19
almost 3 years three years three years but it feels like you know no don't say three years how how look three years is
00:29:26
what 365 times three is say over a thousand Sons okay all right over a
00:29:32
thousand over a thousand Sons let's see if he gets that yeah a thousand Sons
00:29:37
over a thousand Sons because in the Philippines that's how they refer to a day as a son now do I have my permission to yeah to send this over a thousand
00:29:44
over a thousand Sons she going have to do so much damage control I sent it over thousand sons and
00:29:51
since he did two what are you what do you do agree agree I agree I think it should be back to back TI T and because
00:29:59
now and you should say now you're going to answer the first question and the first question was what can I you did a
00:30:04
thousand Sons i w to do my own message go ahead yeah yo son yo son you looked
00:30:10
hella rip on that beach BTW btbs yo son no no no BTW what's BTW
00:30:19
by the way by the way BTW you looked hella ripped yeah by the way you looked
00:30:25
hella ripped hella ripped H ripped on the beach da ripped on the
00:30:34
beach and then what's another good phrase um B cuz I just want to say c c c
00:30:40
is C it's like a bruh it's like a new k c c c yeah C you look hella ripped read
00:30:47
it by the way you look hella ripped on the beach C can I send it yeah yes what yes you
00:30:56
want me to say I can send that she's having fun yeah we're having fun by the way I sent it but this this doesn't mean
00:31:02
I'm keeping [ __ ] the dog because it's sending it if you know what I mean if you disapprove so we did two he goes how
00:31:09
does it feel back to be back in La space actually how long have you been in La for and you said over a thousand
00:31:16
Son by the way you looked hella
00:31:22
ripped give it back yeah he's never respond he's never going to respond to that oh my God [ __ ]
00:31:28
the arm BR wait when does this air let's give it up for Rudy by the way for great job when does this when does when does
00:31:33
this air the second Monday the 2 right August 2nd oh we AUST you're fine with
00:31:39
you're fine with the thing yeah all right August 2N what's why what's wrong what was what there was something was
00:31:44
there a problem but no here's what she's going to do now though is this the third arm no no no it's it was already broken
00:31:51
and it's all the way over there yeah so the third message she's going to send the third message and she's going to go
00:31:56
that was just that was last two messages were from Andrew Santino and Bobby Lee but at least let him let let's see if he
00:32:02
can play with it like let's see if he at least has fun yeah yeah because because let it sit for a second yeah right
00:32:10
because you could do that third message even if he doesn't respond he thinks it's weird yeah three hours from now and then he'll be like oh that funny keep
00:32:16
the keep the um DM open to see if he's seen it okay yeah and just let us know if anytime during the POS wait wait it
00:32:22
shows you that you can see it it says seen yeah I don't know yeah I know because when I text you it says read
00:32:28
yeah yeah and then you pretend like you didn't know and I was like I saw you read it I saw you read
00:32:33
it I don't I I think I'm a weasel yeah no no no let's be real am I kind of no
00:32:39
what are you talking about well let's take a vote let's take a studio vote yeah yeah yeah everyone come in here no they can do it from where they are I
00:32:45
can't to see their faces all right come in here I'm to I have to turn this on it's
00:32:50
so hot in here so swe are you are you warm now yeah you were cold yeah yeah all right okay well we're not going to
00:32:57
be able to see them on camera but you just want to be I want to see their faces right all right get in here fans
00:33:02
I'm Pete I'm looking at you right now bud and I before you even answer I have to say you know what I mean I have to
00:33:09
say it's been a pleasure work he called you a weasel right away
00:33:14
okay you can leave no no no no no let him stay let him stay no he already said a thing let him stay this is a real
00:33:21
confession I want to hear the real deal Holyfield so um you know it's been a pleasure working with you you show up
00:33:26
here on time you do a really good job and you know here's another thing that you do is you have a trustworthy kind of
00:33:32
energy about you like I feel safe I feel like um Rudy safe we're all safe in your
00:33:38
in your presence and I just think that um I'd really like to work with you for the rest of my life am I a weasel you
00:33:45
know what you got caught up in it happens to anybody no thank you dismissed a no from thank you dismissed
00:33:50
thank you I'm going to change my answer okay sit there right yeah
00:33:58
you know I think that um the the exchange we do back and forth
00:34:04
and the energies exchange it's like two people two Souls that's been doing that
00:34:11
for eternity it really does feel like okay all right it's like um we were sort of
00:34:17
your you're my ying and I'm your yang you know we're you're more of yeah you are more of a Yang I
00:34:23
guess you have to say that I feel I've always thought I was you're very much of a yang I've been more YY you've been so
00:34:29
much more Yang you're more Yang than any Yin I've ever met but here's the thing he's super young as well he's
00:34:36
remarkably yeah so if he's more Yang than I am I have to be the Y I got to tell you you're a lot of Yang we're both
00:34:43
yangs okay F that's why yeah yeah and that is why um I think that since I feel
00:34:49
like we've been doing this eternity our souls and that it's we're two pieces in a pot as I say and um I feel like I've
00:34:55
known you forever and I I just really think that I feel comfortable with you as well more than that fat piece of [ __ ]
00:35:01
that was just in here whoa oh ask him already yeah yeah come
00:35:07
on the buffalo with tits that was in here oh my God mean come on I'm sorry
00:35:13
ask the question ask him do you think I'm a weasel um I don't really know the
00:35:19
meaning of that word oh that's great he's using the cop out of the second language that's really smart you got you
00:35:25
got to let him go on that yeah you're dismissed good luck thank you fans thank you yeah I I think
00:35:30
I have weasel you're not a weasel dude I do have no because I've done stuff like you have weasel Tendencies for sure no I
00:35:36
did that at the store once what I did a big weasly thing what' you do so I was
00:35:42
at the store and um we had this Thai manager you never met him and his name
00:35:48
was Kirk what do you mean the the the guy that ended up owning that restaurant down in Santa Monica didn't he open up a tie place
00:35:55
down in Santa Monica yeah that's that's that's not him that was was um Tony Tony yeah yeah okay so Kirk was this like he
00:36:02
was in like the Thai military oh so if you should up a minute L you're fired I love it right if you went over your time
00:36:09
you never got spot again wow like he was militant legit legit I like it but
00:36:14
nobody liked working with him cuz he was just too much yeah everyone hated him and so but that was a time when I wasn't
00:36:20
getting any sponse because the talent coordinator didn't like me who I can't
00:36:25
tell you fine right anyway Tommy no W before Tommy no I was just fing that's
00:36:30
funny so so and everyone hated Kirk but Kirk because I was Asian Kirk would walk
00:36:37
up to me go hey buddy you want some time he loved you I go you put me up there I
00:36:43
do well for you for you anything oh he loved you love me so he would put me up it would enrage everybody why why you
00:36:50
weren't good enough yet no I was okay but it's like you didn't deserve the spots yet not really you know I mean that's fine every time someone was late
00:36:57
B you want to go up do some do sometimes hey that's Asian privilege Asian
00:37:03
privilege right so then um Eleanor and a bunch the whole staff even the comics
00:37:10
all wrote a petition no to get Kirk fired because you were getting stage time no no because they just didn't like
00:37:15
them they just hated them they hated them okay but when I caught wind of this petition mhm I went to the top oh you
00:37:22
went to Mitsy holy [ __ ] and Paulie the whole family oh wow you're your weight
00:37:28
to rat these ins subordinates oh my God what were you ratting on them about I
00:37:33
was warning them about this about this list of this people them signing and
00:37:39
then I was like I was also krook's a great guy you yeah like a weasel you are
00:37:44
a little because I'm a Survivor you are I'm trying to survive cockroach but then everyone found out that I did that right
00:37:51
of course and then everyone for Years hated me for years no one would say hi
00:37:56
to me who hated you the most Elanor did she did she hate you now no we love each other but she did there's a deep love
00:38:02
now what did she you think what what got her over the hump like what made her stop hating you I don't know what
00:38:09
happened um about okay so that happened over 20 years ago a long time ago yeah
00:38:15
so she didn't talk to me for 20 years holy [ __ ] in fact when I saw her in the hallway I'd have to go around cuz she
00:38:22
could beat the [ __ ] out of you by not that it was just the [ __ ] her energy I [ __ ] she could beat the [ __ ] out of you that's what it was yeah
00:38:28
so one day um maybe three years ago there was a party like a like a
00:38:34
Christmas party or and I was downstairs you know where the podcast room is at The Comedy Store yeah and a bunch of
00:38:40
people were down there and I walked in there I didn't know El was there and then there were so many people there I got just kind of got stuck near her I
00:38:45
couldn't get out and then I turn around like this and Elanor is right here perfect right and she looks at me and I
00:38:52
look at her and she goes do you want to do my podcast oh and
00:38:57
I go yeah it was all gone no we had to do it at the on the podcast oh you hashed it out on the podcast on the
00:39:03
podcast we hashed it out but it was cathartic it was great oh that's good it was great but you know I have done a lot
00:39:09
of weasly things in my life but only out of survival right it's fight ORF flight and you're going to fight you're
00:39:15
fighting yeah you don't have a choice and and I'm generally only like that when it comes to my career career yeah
00:39:22
that is true I agree with you on that be spoke post this is my favorite thing in the whole world awesome this summer if
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00:40:43
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00:40:49
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you don't night sweat because this thinging is so cooling on your skin or day sweat when you're taking a nap
00:41:00
taking a mid day nap it's 100% plant-based design is breathable and keeps you at a comfortable temperature in a way that polyester and downfill
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out say it I can't read it it's so it's so small get a big form there you go bigger oh you can try a comforter in
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your own bed for free if you don't love it return it at no cost come on that's a no-brainer for you if you don't like it
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you've done stuff in your career that's a little shady to save my own
00:42:05
ass or to good ahead oh how about this okay I've actually been my agents weasel
00:42:11
and lied about a thing that they appr approve that I got in trouble for when I can't tell the whole I can't I know it's
00:42:18
hard but there's a lot of incidences but what they did was weasel and so what I did was rat them all out I showed the
00:42:25
emails yeah because denied it they're like we never said that that was okay for him to do yeah oh yeah send send
00:42:31
send I sent all the emails they all approved it all of them yeah yeah yeah CU they were trying to agents are just
00:42:37
they all they do is go we never said to him we didn't say he could do we didn't do that yeah yeah you did I sent that I can't tell the story it's all it's not
00:42:44
fun but no I do I'll do it to protect you do it if they're backing you into a corner and you don't have a choice yeah
00:42:52
you didn't have a choice if you didn't have a choice why did you paint your nails by the way show the audience
00:42:57
so um well hold it up to the camera so they can actually see it so the girls so the girls were were going to Hawaii yeah
00:43:03
and they you know how they do their little girly things and they go around the table you felt left out no they had all the stickers and stuff right and
00:43:10
they were like um Tito Bobby paint your nails and I go
00:43:16
why cuz we're going to Hawaii like okay that's pretty much it did you want him
00:43:22
to paint his nails yeah you did after all these time after all these years you still can't can't put the mic near your
00:43:27
face it's almost shocking it's insane it's insane it's at this point it's almost like scary wait so did you ask him or did
00:43:34
Kila push for it I think I told him you said he had to do it did you paint them or did he do it he did why don't you
00:43:41
have the girls do it look at how much better of a job they would have done that's nicking and scratching and chipping I I have another thing I want
00:43:46
to cash out with her oh go ahead is so this new guy Diego oh let's check in
00:43:52
with Diego did he yeah yeah yeah welcome back to check in hey let's have fancy say checking in with
00:43:58
checking with Diego checking him with Diego anything nothing damn this guy you
00:44:04
know what it is though he probably sees that youve dm'd him but he doesn't want to open it because he wants to give it time well I have I think let me see if
00:44:11
he befriended my friend request because I could also do a second thing you know
00:44:16
what I mean yeah yeah yeah so let's do this oh wait you requested his
00:44:21
friendship yeah smooth yeah so let's go to cuz his his his is his profile private is that why it mhm yeah he
00:44:29
befriended it so I can now message okay so sa BR sa yes and give the Shaka
00:44:40
give this give the Shaka r a b r ah what's up bruh BR and
00:44:46
then shakka and then shakka give the shakka Emoji can I do a thumbs up is that the same shakka is way better shakka is bra and I know but I can't
00:44:52
find it oh there it is right under the hands right under the hands yeah s br what's up bro yeah can I see a picture
00:44:59
of this guy I want to see what he looks like the he doesn't have any photos of him well let me
00:45:04
see that's his dad just give me the phone so there's no I'm I'm
00:45:10
looking that's his mom that's his sister well I can compile what he looks like through those two people I guess oh
00:45:15
there we go that's him cuz he took a photo with me oh he is good-looking yeah yeah he's
00:45:21
a goodlooking guy wow DS uhoh spaghettio
00:45:27
I think this we're off to uh a little romance and he lives in SD let me can I finish this message or what bro yeah
00:45:33
sapra I think SAA is all we need to say to this guy really well sa BR says a lot sa BR sa BR all right s you could be
00:45:40
trying to fight him you could try to hang out sa BR sa BR send right and then if you messages back that'll be good so
00:45:48
this was a one-time love story in Hawaii yeah no there was another one right Jesus another one right
00:45:58
no damn she got a lot of Hawaii lovers huh I don't there's the GU that you asked for surfing instructions
00:46:04
uhoh it was nothing but you liked him yeah it was
00:46:09
cute yeah but did you get the number DM the DM no my aunt got his
00:46:16
number D the Filipinos are aggressive give me your number for my my
00:46:22
my KN I know but we just need her to get open up a bit you know she's getting
00:46:27
I think if you look back on the episodes that we started the show you've definitely changed your Vibe you've definitely gotten more open more yeah
00:46:33
you're getting more confident more confident yeah you know like look Bobby in the eye right now let's see your
00:46:38
confidence level tell him to go [ __ ] himself look him right in the eye and say go [ __ ] yourself do it go [ __ ]
00:46:44
yourself whoa that was so believable I love it man this is good I
00:46:51
like this new rude do more do more do more do more tell her look him in the eye and say you're a fat piece of [ __ ]
00:46:58
move the mic down so the camera can see you move below your mouth there you go look him right in the eye and do it
00:47:03
you're a fat piece of [ __ ]
00:47:08
[ __ ] ready ready for another one look look him right in the eye and say you're not my blood and I don't respect you at
00:47:14
all you're not my blood and I don't respect you at all oh my God it looks so
00:47:20
real when she says it wo
00:47:27
oo that was a good one that was a good one no one one more one one last one one
00:47:33
last one for the I like it I like it I like it say look him in the eye and say I
00:47:39
can't wait I can't I can't wait till aunti Kila leaves you I can't wait till
00:47:46
AE Kila leaves you oh my god oh that one hurts that one's stung he's getting hit
00:47:53
a little bit [ __ ] wow woo W that was a good one now say I'm sorry I mean none
00:47:59
of it I'm sorry T Bobby I don't mean any of it that I don't believe I believe
00:48:06
believe that that's the thing I didn't believe that last part that last part was a lie it was a lie all the other stuff was truism wait a minute wait a
00:48:12
minute let's look him in the eye again and say I'm I I didn't mean any of that I didn't mean any of that no the
00:48:18
inflection I didn't yeah yeah yeah you meant a lot of that stuff wow but you know what um what did
00:48:27
you smell in the car ride from the airport to home all farts all farts
00:48:32
that's what you get that's what you get that's your you going to say that today all farts right so yesterday you I did
00:48:38
preemptive farts in your face you loaded up yeah they were nasty play that clip
00:48:44
Pete what is that
00:48:51
[Laughter]
00:49:02
really funny this guy's great I love this guy shaking but I like that it fills up his belly look it fills up his
00:49:08
stomach yeah this guy's great would you go out with this guy yeah is this guy datable is this this like Diego or a datable guy
00:49:15
too fat all right get rid of it get rid of it hey so so I I want to ask you if you've seen this show and this clip is
00:49:21
from the show it's called Uh oh we'll do this first uh this there's a show called
00:49:27
sexy beast do you know what that is I saw the movie but not the look at this so it's a dating show on Netflix yeah
00:49:33
and you get dressed up like a furry yeah and you go on a date yeah to see if you fall in love and then if you get through
00:49:39
uh Like Love is Blind in all these shows then you get to take off the makeup and everything but they have to go on a date and look like this that's hilarious can
00:49:45
you and I do this I'm serious we can hire professional makeup people to make you and I go out when we go do our date
00:49:52
date who though you and me are going out on a date oh okay let's do it I want to do a first date with you yeah and look
00:49:57
like look at how good the makeup so good is it all guys or no no no no no there's there's that was that other that was a
00:50:03
woman there look that's and they go out on dates like this that's insane I can't wait to see the show I just saw the clip
00:50:11
today look at how good the makeup is it's so good that baboon look at that look at that amazing but they have to I
00:50:17
mean it's not as if they shoot this in one day no it takes forever takes months so every morning she get this person
00:50:23
gets a 4:00 a.m. wakeup call yeah they do three hours of this makeup no that's six hours makeup dude it's insane it's
00:50:29
insane that's I love dating show have you seen this show do you know about the show no show that clip show that clip of
00:50:34
the one from the one look at that guy show that clip from the old dating show the old the the the first kiss
00:50:41
show I'm hoping that he's a really great I think my strategy is just go for the kiss maybe I'll be able to like slip
00:50:47
tongue who knows maybe she's my first girlfriend maybe she's his first girlfriend yeah there he is all right
00:50:56
walking towards her get ready to make that move how's it going good how are you good what's your name em I'm Josh
00:51:09
hi um can I kiss you can I kiss you
00:51:20
sure hoping he doesn't go back to just the part he kisses her on the cheek
00:51:27
it's so uncomfortable but something happened well he I mean he got so scared you hear when he walks in listen turn up
00:51:33
the volume when he walks in listen he audibly goes H listen yeah yeah yeah yeah that's a good
00:51:40
sign hello hello how's it going good good what's your name Emily he's smiling
00:51:47
he's like murder smiling yeah got to kiss you oh yeah
00:51:53
stop stop stop stop hold on
00:51:59
oh got I kiss you you oh my God how does she not feel
00:52:05
threatened immediately I would just turn around and just walk away walk away yeah yeah what go ahead or say no no
00:52:12
go sure sure
00:52:23
okay the way the way he had to hold her shoulder I feels so [ __ ] bad for her
00:52:28
I feel so bad for her for her because she she said yes you can kiss me imagine the amount of rejection she feels she's
00:52:36
way prettier than this guy yeah yeah and she's like I guess you can K imagine this can I [ __ ] you
00:52:46
yeah he just smacking his penis against it but then he holds her he hits it and
00:52:53
then hugs her no he comes he comes he goes he comes and then
00:52:59
just I mean this dude I love thisy he you know guys like this she just be like
00:53:06
I I'm a monk I'm a monk now and just go out into the mountains live other monks
00:53:11
yep and do the Kong and make the thing pick things yeah yeah yeah do do the
00:53:17
thing you right you Kong every day you know what I mean and just go to sleep meditate like the incense right and the
00:53:24
candles the candles right make a routine at night you blow everything out right
00:53:29
do more of this go to sleep and then just die you got to yeah no you don't think monks jerk off they might but are
00:53:36
monks allowed to masturbate are monks allowed to masturbate Google that cuz wouldn't you think you'd have to you're
00:53:42
not allowed to see people right it's like priests priests can't have they can't have sex are monks allowed to
00:53:49
masturbate uh Buddhist monks are forbidden from any sexual activity including masturbation and watching porn strictly enforced how would they know
00:53:56
well you'd have to go in the forest imagine how that's what we did when we were kids we weren mons we'd go jerk off
00:54:01
in the woods yeah you couldn't do it at home you'd get caught if you had brothers and sisters you were going to get caught brother Elias where are you
00:54:07
going oh just to the woods for a moment that that gets that's a dead
00:54:12
giveaway why because you have to be specific ask me keep talking to me I'm trying to cover my own story all all so
00:54:19
Elias give me a monk name yeah yeah um what's a monk name but he's Brutus monk right I'll make it out right okay
00:54:27
tongo where are you going to the woods to meditate we have a temple right over
00:54:32
here where everyone else is meditating I understand but the Lord is closer to me with the trees but since we're Buddhist
00:54:38
we don't believe in a Lord you got me
00:54:45
[Laughter] there so so brother Togo what again I
00:54:54
ask again I ask going I ask why are you going in through
00:55:01
the forest because I want to be one with nature you're jerking off again okay I'm
00:55:06
jerking off you got me there you got me there this mon always says you got me there every you got me there every day
00:55:12
every day every brother too right is out of the forest Jing and he has some sort
00:55:19
of weird conversation with these guys every [ __ ] day he tries to make other
00:55:24
[ __ ] excuses he tries to cover up every day just next about next day brother
00:55:30
too brother too where are you going to the woods to
00:55:37
meditate I don't know why that makes me laugh oh that makes me laugh so hard every day every day by the way come I
00:55:43
come back and I I clearly have seamen on my on my robe ask me what it is
00:55:50
yeah Circ let give air I come back from the woods I clearly have SE go go yes
00:55:57
what's that on your rope oh this must be trep from one of the trees Tre it's trep
00:56:04
from one of the trees I was rubbing against thank you for telling me I now tell me it's jiz now tell me it's
00:56:10
clearly jiz oh oh my Sor I don't know why that made me left so Hur tell me it's clearly
00:56:17
J right no it's just Tre from one of the trees brother Togo it's obviously jizz
00:56:23
you got me there oh how would you cover it up how could
00:56:28
you even do it I I don't think brother mul why are you why are brother magul
00:56:34
why are you leaving the temple I would just be on BR too thank you for asking
00:56:40
where are you going I would just be like I would do I would say anything to get away from not answering the question
00:56:47
right right just keep skirting around ask me brother magul why are you leaving I the the mushroom stew we had this
00:56:53
morning was a little too salty oh oh you're going to [ __ ] in the woods yes
00:56:59
all right sis sister oh all right that's so funny by
00:57:06
the way it impossible you know this is a lie what they have to masturbate Bobby
00:57:13
it's a it's natural it's ornate it's in your body it's a part of your so your your being it's like what they when they
00:57:19
say like um you can't repress sexualization no here's the thing this is that when you go to essay meetings
00:57:25
right or you go to a place like I went to a couple years ago right yeah and sex and and and pornography and sex is an
00:57:31
addiction it's substance abuse yeah you know I've talked to friends of mine and I go did you masturbate you go we're
00:57:38
allowed to Mex masturbate but we don't think of anything or we don't look at porn what do you do then they're just
00:57:44
basically unloading just getting relief I think that if you didn't masturbate for six
00:57:50
months or or six months or yeah or or get it out of your body I think that a couple of tugs and it's out and it's out
00:57:58
think about it like this though this is insane no because I I my
00:58:05
the longest I've gone is 47 days without jerking off without ejaculating or
00:58:11
sexual contact nothing 47 days when did you do this and why I did it with my friend Charlie about nine years ago what
00:58:17
do you mean with my friend Charlie no we no we we're at Starbucks we're Starbucks and on the 47th day you're like we're
00:58:23
[ __ ] each other know he he lasted seven months he did have no sexual contact no but I lasted 47 days and I
00:58:29
just couldn't do it wait a minute wait a minute hold on hold on no sexual contact with with somebody or is it no ejaculation like could he kiss could he
00:58:36
kiss or yeah but those little those things will always lead to [ __ ] so you're saying no kissing no touching
00:58:42
another wow holy [ __ ] seven months no physical interaction people do it for years Steve O did it for
00:58:49
years for years no sexual interaction for years why because of addiction
00:58:55
because his sponsor said that like let's you know set a time and he goes all right I'll do a year and then a year
00:59:01
went and then he did another year cuz he used sex sexual sexual and then he got a girlfriend yeah a wife now right a wife
00:59:07
and now he [ __ ] her but my point is is that you know it's doable you went 47
00:59:12
days yeah it was so hard though how how long how many years ago like 10 years ago okay today Bobby Lee right now today
00:59:18
2021 how long could you go without sexual release well if it was a competition between you and I mhm
00:59:25
forever forever do you want to do it yeah you really do
00:59:30
yeah how how will I know that if you're lying or not well we're going to live stream each other 24/7 Pete's gonna follow you and Andre will follow me
00:59:36
around with the camera in our beds with us at night honestly let's it's impossible it's not impossible I think
00:59:42
we can do it if we wrote a contract and then if you just said listen it's not a if you said to me this is the Seinfeld episode yeah four days from now dude I
00:59:49
did it then I'd be like okay cool I won that's it's just I don't I what I'm telling you is I don't think you can
00:59:55
laugh last like you think you can last dude I lasted 47 days I can do it 10 years ago yeah what's the difference I
01:00:01
was 40 times change no I can do when was the last time you jerked off two nights
01:00:06
ago okay but my libido right is much lower now I know you're older now yeah so it's like I think I can do it you
01:00:14
really do yeah I can beat you no that's only because you think because you want to beat me that's not I
01:00:21
that's just the thing cuz you're in your little brain you're like I just need to beat him so you'll just hurt yourself just to think that would be hurt either
01:00:26
I think it' be good or what are you going to tell Kila what if she's like I'm feeling I'm feeling like I want to hook up I would
01:00:33
tell her tonight I I would tell her tonight I go me and Andrew are doing this thing absence thing right M and
01:00:38
we're going to see how long we can go I think she'll be fine with it fine my health okay will you tell your girl yes
01:00:44
let's do it all right so you guys heard heard it here first we're going to do it let's see how long we can hold out all right I'm going to jerk off the moment I
01:00:50
get home are you really no yeah yeah no I'm gonna hold it out cuz I go to New York Tuesday
01:00:56
that's good the longer you're out of town oh no that's that's bad because that's hotels are jerkoff friendly jerk off City the moment I landed a new city
01:01:02
for comedy I'm jerking off and the hotel too I jerk off what else am I doing there yeah I poop I take a big chug of water and ier I like I like unload on
01:01:09
like the the she the like the [ __ ] the walls L Shades lamp shades everything everything everything because
01:01:16
it's like um it's Freedom it's not just Freedom it's marking oh territory like I
01:01:22
was here phon that's that's funny you don't want to hear any of this stuff do you no no well tell me if Diego hit you
01:01:29
back already will you he did didn't he nothing did he see it no did you ever
01:01:34
see did you ever um stay at the condo at the Lo hoyya Comedy Store yeah that
01:01:40
condo though is fascinating well cuz the amount of seen that's been in that c it's no it's more seen than you would
01:01:46
know because I'll tell you why because I stayed there once with Brian Bradley I
01:01:52
don't even know who that is you don't know him andad and these were 1980s gay
01:01:57
the first gay comedians way before Jason Stewart these were the first gay Comedians and they were old men and I
01:02:04
was a young kid right and I was staying at the condo with them and late night they go hey kid you want to hear a
01:02:12
story and I go I was scared yeah I think I didn't think you know but I go I I
01:02:18
like stories and he goes in 1979 or 78 Brian was it 78 or 79 right I think it
01:02:24
was 79 because you know and then they're like anyway we went to we were staying in this condo and went to this gay club
01:02:32
and we just got so drunk we just announced I just stood up and announced RG at the
01:02:39
condo so they we all right just 80 guys
01:02:45
in the condo The Comedy Store condo yeah it was crazy we did an 80 man train
01:02:50
right Choo Cho choo choo right and then right right right right and then we
01:02:58
would just sometimes we have to un you know unload the steam take out the steam take out Ste un take the steam out right
01:03:05
all over the apparently there was a come like it was just like
01:03:11
rainfall mean like it was a storm just you those popcorn ceiling yeah you
01:03:17
needed an umbrella yeah and just walk through right rain rain and so once they
01:03:23
told me that story and ask anybody else I've never stayed in that condo again Hotel I always asked for a [ __ ] hotel
01:03:29
that place is could sleep not I have nothing against other people's come sure you do just I don't want it in my mouth
01:03:36
or my skin or anywhere near me yeah yeah yeah I don't want it anywhere near no but if there was like let's say you're standing there and you see a puddle of
01:03:43
[ __ ] right here you'll be okay with it I would not if it went like that that
01:03:48
would yeah that would be immediately go Andress get in here yeah yeah yeah who who did this and Pete you know Pete
01:03:53
would go it was me that well how could how could that's what's so cool about a gay community that's totally kosher you
01:03:59
can walk into a club yeah and you can do that today they could be like orgy back at our place people would go you can't
01:04:04
be at a bar and be like orgie back at our place you'd be in prison You' be in prison they immediately the cops are
01:04:09
like get out of here you [ __ ] I mean I mean there is a thing where I've thought about I wish I was gay mhm
01:04:17
because it just be so especially being little and Asian you would get tossed right around I would just be they would
01:04:24
call me the hole the hole the the hole's here upstairs and I'm just going to come in my [ __ ] so big I just walk in like
01:04:30
this and come on the hole right they when I show up they go the big Angry top
01:04:35
is here yeah yeah yeah well I think that you would have gained weight would the bear be red bear is here big red bear is
01:04:41
here big red guy yo I would gain like 150 lbs but but
01:04:47
but by be we would [ __ ] so much so much much so much easier I mean come on we'd
01:04:54
go I would go troll down Santa I've said this before on here when Justin marale used to take us out to those those clubs
01:05:00
yeah oh my God I could lay I could get laid by so many of those dudes I I felt so confident it was great guys would
01:05:06
come up and they'd find out that I was straight and they'd be like [ __ ] out of here yeah but it was hot I was like in
01:05:12
the 80s I would have got the thing yeah you would have gotten HIV no that's not what I'm saying yeah you would have gotten HIV for sure because you would
01:05:18
have just been the hole you would just laid there people would have just come run trains on you yeah and they' let you up sometimes like I wouldn't even care
01:05:24
I'd be like sleeping yeah literally I'd be sleeping and people would just be just unloading on my back right on my
01:05:31
[ __ ] right and I would just wake up every I go hey Charlie go back to sleep
01:05:39
Dad yeah you I saw a dude I'll just say this I saw Dad fan
01:05:47
once on um in New York he was doing um what's his name show um he was on Comedy
01:05:53
Central it's what's that guy's name um um the older guy he's kind of like Jimmy Schubert but New York Colin Quinn so
01:06:00
Colin Quinn had that show on Comedy Central one of the greatest shows of all time yeah so Dad fam was on it right right when he won Last Comic Standing
01:06:06
and it was Voss Patrice O'Neal oh my God and they ripped him apart it's a firing squad yeah they ripped him apart to the
01:06:13
point where I felt bad for him right for that and Patrice kept making Asian jokes
01:06:18
I'm sure right so bring up that clip if you can find it when I saw that I went that's not going to be me right yeah I
01:06:26
I'm going to fight them back and I'm going to survive and I'm going to win
01:06:31
right so that's why I have the style that I do is because I just don't want to be a victim dude tough crowd with
01:06:38
Colin Quinn with that fan yeah that fan it's brutal dude if you see it they light him on fire it's well Patrice was
01:06:45
so good at bral dude I don't I can see it even it's so sad D D D D that fan D-
01:06:51
a t p h an that fan oh boy uh yeah that's it right there the
01:06:58
first one it's got to be it tough crop Patrice O'Neal D fan Rich Voss yeah how long is it 16 but we'll scroll through and they'll edit it let's see some of it
01:07:05
folks I think he's just smoed by trying to move a war around he's like okay we're just going to move it over to Iraq now I mean that doesn't do anything I
01:07:12
mean it's like in Vietnam it's like what if they go like okay the war is getting too crazy here we're going to move it over to Cambodia yeah now that work out
01:07:19
well what what would uh what would your mother say about
01:07:24
this look at his face did you just do your hack Korean Mama as Osama B not
01:07:31
Korean is Vietnamese no say last Comic standard shut up Dad he was doing wait
01:07:36
I'll explain you were doing Paul pot moving the wall right pot your mama from last Comic standard can he do the rest
01:07:42
of the show hiding behind a tree please that's racist in the
01:07:47
tunnel now dad fan what who was complaining about this was it Asians or other people you think idea people the
01:07:54
people that paid them oh yeah come on he knew he needed one go
01:08:02
ahead need one here's the deal I I spent an hour and a half afterward signing autographs and 90% Asian students were
01:08:09
were were in line so don't you think EIC if an accent is isn't comedy about heightening or whatever they call or
01:08:16
accents or differences too you know yeah I mean it's it's the culture that I grew up in my family has accents you know I mean if black Comics make fun of you
01:08:22
know their own culture or race they don't make fun of our culture but okay show or if you see like Rich B you
01:08:29
do some Jewish jokes right I do maybe one I I usually talk about my life uh you know I talk about my Vietnamese
01:08:36
mother a lot but you know the thing is if if Asians do it then all of a sudden it's
01:08:42
like oh okay this guy he crazy you know like I we're just this is what we do you know what I mean we're basing it on the
01:08:48
yeah I mean the stereotypes are part of thehead I'm just saying I read that article that complained about him the
01:08:53
thing that pissed me off is they referred to him in an article as a comic and I was really
01:08:59
upset you know now all I'm saying is that it's 514 and that fan got one more
01:09:05
minute left on his Fame so I think that he should what don't we just have like
01:09:11
Vietnamese coaches that's right in the middle you get Patrice was ruthless though yeah but
01:09:16
I'm just saying that when I did open Anthony with Patrice they
01:09:22
couldn't do that with me cuz you were because I just became Wilder yeah I I when I saw that I was
01:09:28
like I'm never going to be him just taking it on no yeah [ __ ] you
01:09:34
got to fight back [ __ ] you yeah you gotta fight back you gotta fight back Dad yeah you know what I mean it's so
01:09:40
sad but I mean you he knows better that's the
01:09:45
Lions Den that show was so hard to I just wouldn't do it no you shouldn't do it unless like if you don't come in with
01:09:52
[ __ ] like you got Deadpool you got deadpol [ __ ] be like I'm here and cut them all up and then what happens is
01:09:58
when you start making fun of them and combating them they just stop doing it well or it becomes part of the rhetoric
01:10:04
of like that we all are [ __ ] on each other what you and I do on our show we make fun of each other that's because we love each other but that disarms all the
01:10:11
chaos you just [ __ ] on each other yeah but if you're not willing to have the get [ __ ] on stuff then it's you're in
01:10:17
trouble yeah and I just think that you know instead of focusing on this is a message to Asian performers I guess is
01:10:26
that I don't focus more on that being rep representing my my ethnicity I I
01:10:33
focus on being better than all the other people right right I don't when I I'm at
01:10:39
the store people go I've heard people go well you're on the lineup because you're the Asian guy
01:10:44
no I I believe I'm on the lineup oh is you're good no it's not that I'm good it's just that nobody you can't say like
01:10:52
if you know Rogan goes up or anybody else goes up up right that I didn't do
01:10:57
as good you know what I mean right and I don't want to be up there just because of my color of my skin well you're not I
01:11:04
know I know that right I feel that right you're saying that exists and yeah so I'm just saying that like you know um to
01:11:10
Asian performers or whoever you're saying and you know if Tiger Bell is not considered an Asian show I don't give a
01:11:16
[ __ ] is it is no it's not apparently to them who was that a credible Source I mean it was only the New York Times what
01:11:21
do they know you know I mean but it's how about this about this yeah do top Asian
01:11:27
podcasts top Asian podcast what is this what are we doing here what are you trying to do I want to I want to try to
01:11:33
see Tiger Bell on there we're not on there see scroll through all the way keep going down to the right up at the top that bar up there Pico all the way
01:11:38
to the right all the way now click on that Arrow no show with George can be consideration right George he's married
01:11:45
to an Asian woman he's got a half asian baby nothing but how about this oh I've got
01:11:51
the fix top Asian comedy podcast there it is top Asian comedy podcast now it'll be there no doubt same
01:11:59
list same list mhm keep going there's gu is there any way to do this though it's
01:12:06
not there see look at it wow so let me ask you something let me ask you something does tiger Billy do better
01:12:14
than these yeah yeah for sure all of them right yeah for sure then why aren't we on it because this is being we're not
01:12:21
Asian no this is being promoted by something that's being promoted by a machine if we go top comedy podcast
01:12:27
would we be on it maybe I don't know but that's top comedy podcast it depends on who promotes this thing yeah top comedy
01:12:33
podcast there you go where are we there no we're not on there yet no no nope no nope doughbys is on there no n NOP Noe
01:12:42
nope nope we're not on there that's it now do you feel bad no because that's a
01:12:47
machine no that's a machine I don't know who I don't know how that gets [ __ ] arranged by what is this this is made by
01:12:53
what what's the article who's by good house keeping this is by [ __ ] Good Housekeeping they arranged that what
01:12:58
does that even [ __ ] mean yeah Good Housekeeping yeah what the [ __ ] is that no I don't care we dude I know how much
01:13:05
our fans love and appreciate us and I love and appreciate them that's what I care I don't care about [ __ ] an
01:13:10
article in Good Housekeeping doesn't mean anything to me aren't aren't you happy about the fans Rudy now you're getting boyfriends from it let's check
01:13:17
in with Diego Andre say it let's check in with dieo come on please say he looked or texted or said something back
01:13:24
come on come on come on nothing wow all right so how about this Bobby to end this Diego
01:13:31
thing I want her now to write you can write it not Bobby be write no response
01:13:36
qu did he respond to you no okay so I want I want her to write no response question mark [ __ ]
01:13:42
you how cool would that be no response [ __ ] you no because she he texted her
01:13:49
and she didn't respond for 6 hours 6 hours yeah give him six hours at the sixth hour this evening right no
01:13:55
response [ __ ] you poor Diego we love you Diego wherever you are
01:14:01
you beautiful um what was the name of that racist snack Kito
01:14:07
Kito all right Bob thank you for being a bad
01:14:14
friend $20 off your Buffy comforter when you visit Buffy friends that's $20 off
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your Buffy comforter when you visit bad friends that's $20 off your Buffy comforter when you visit buffy. and
01:14:25
enter the code buffyo [Music]
