00:00:00
two are bad friends who are these two idiots
00:00:06
you two are disgusting really YouTube or something we're bad friends did you
00:00:12
bring anything to the cookout that's today no is that today yes Rudy did you bring something to the
00:00:18
cookout you [ __ ] called me yeah because you're doing the show did you bring anything you told me to bring
00:00:23
you something for the cookout you were supposed to bring something for the cookout wait wait wait wait hold on no no don't point to
00:00:30
the guys because where are those guys what are they doing though they're ashamed that you didn't bring something to cookout yeah but why didn't they
00:00:36
remind me to bring Andreas why didn't you remind me to bring something to the cookout because we recorded three days
00:00:43
ago yeah
00:00:51
you don't pass the buck to him yeah you're a scumbag you don't bring [ __ ] to the cookout all right Juliana and we did
00:00:57
I I thought Andreas would text you yeah yeah did he text you yeah so you
00:01:02
reminded her yeah I think you didn't remind me okay bring me my potato salad so hey
00:01:10
Bobby remind me yesterday hey hey hey hey oh my God [ __ ] you hey hey hey hey be
00:01:17
nice [ __ ] you and [ __ ] you you didn't bring [ __ ] I brought my lazy [ __ ] now where's your beers that you're gonna
00:01:22
bring they're the [ __ ] first of all they're in the fridge right now would you like a beer Bobby right the beer that were already in here to bring fresh
00:01:28
beer dude oh you want fresh beer yeah dude just where's the kimchi it's right there bro what the [ __ ] you told me to
00:01:35
bring potato salad no I told you to come to the [ __ ] show tomorrow but you also told me yesterday to bring the
00:01:41
potato salad that's why I brought that he brought the potato salad no I never thought I said you told me that yesterday that's the only reason I
00:01:47
bought it I didn't even know I had to bring anything because you told me that when you said do the show tomorrow now
00:01:52
here's what we're gonna have to do okay here's what we're gonna have to do why are you talking to me in that I like it I like it no no but why did you talk to
00:01:58
me in that town because you'd be [ __ ] you know what I mean first of all I called you yesterday to do the
00:02:04
show tomorrow night right you're like ah nah nah I don't do the store that was crazy no it wasn't why because you
00:02:10
already know we have this discussion on how I feel about the store it's not it's not a store sponsored
00:02:16
thing if you're part of the bad friend's family we're doing a bad friend's show at the comedy store and that's what I
00:02:21
invited to you too once I realized that I said okay right uh yeah yeah all right he did drink today
00:02:29
[Laughter] so first of all welcome to the cookout
00:02:36
welcome to the cookout Rudy do you want to explain what you brought what is this I brought us a sponge cake that is very
00:02:43
famous in the Philippines it's called Mammon or we call it torta sometimes oh no
00:02:49
tortoise Mexican yeah Mexican that's not yours you can't just have that wait so is this it yeah this says
00:02:57
yeah is this good does it need to be heated up no yeah is that cheese on top yeah out they have cheese too down there
00:03:05
all right so so oh it's really soft yeah so do we all have to try this yeah I've already had a couple so um I'm past and
00:03:11
now what's inside of this as I get grossed out what is that purple stuff that's in there it's just cream purple
00:03:17
cream yeah yeah just try it okay wait a minute you want to try one of these Ube ensenambas yeah
00:03:24
all right and this is all the whole bag is filled with this right yeah it's just one thing do you guys want to try one I'm good here Pete let's see if we can
00:03:31
do this without knocking anything over yeah good catch Pete thank you
00:03:36
um all right so let me try one let's try a little bit of Ube and sanamo because we want to try everybody's everything that we brought to the to the cookout
00:03:43
here what do you need uh yeah I'm gonna grab this for us
00:03:48
he's mouthy whoa good shut your punk ass all right I'm ready so what what is he
00:03:54
has hostility toward me this is good it's good right you know why he's how
00:03:59
you know he's hostile why he just got out of jail he stormed the stage at Dave Chappelle [Laughter]
00:04:11
the [ __ ] out of that guy oh good did you see the pictures of this guy no bring up the photo of this guy look at the guy
00:04:17
that stormed this [ __ ] guy you know what happened after it was over they gave him a couple more you know they
00:04:24
gave him a couple more I don't know exactly what happened I just know that he was assaulted he storms the stage that's him the clearest one is like the
00:04:30
fifth one down do you see it here I got it right here oh you do yeah oh my God okay
00:04:38
why did he do it well I don't know motive yet but apparently somebody said he had oh [ __ ]
00:04:44
a Bobby Lee show assault nothing will happen assault yeah yeah attack Bobby because at his show he'll just give you
00:04:50
a hug yeah yeah but this guy got caught up in The Matrix what's that called in
00:04:56
Black Culture when that happened to this guy doc beat down getting beat down beat down you're getting beat the [ __ ] down
00:05:03
yeah well here's here's the deal so he tackles Dave and apparently he's got like a knife and or something that looks
00:05:10
like a gun or a knife I I can't I don't know the details and Dave got out of the way good timing on Dave dodged your
00:05:18
technique of dodging elephants yeah look at that's what it is it was a knife that looked like a gun
00:05:23
you think he'll PTSD from it Dave yeah no oh no because he seemed traumatic
00:05:29
though it looks like he won do you know what I mean I know but still he did win yeah man I understand that it just feels
00:05:36
like Dave is like I don't know maybe his Security will get tighter no one will be able to access the stage
00:05:43
period now yeah so I just I just don't understand how because I've like been to
00:05:48
like a cure concert and like how do I get up there to attack Robert Smith I wouldn't but I'm just saying how would
00:05:55
you even be able to do it I mean use the Hollywood Bowl you've been you can walk right up to the stage yeah I think I
00:06:01
think what you can do is we're giving tips on how to do this yeah what is this that you brought Pete is
00:06:07
this a burrito this is uh sausage and pepper sauce it's Italian cookout oh my
00:06:12
God this guy brought an entire sausage and pep he probably made it at home too dude let me tell you something about salsa pep oh it's nice and sticky
00:06:20
whoa Bobby you've never had sausage and peppers have you no never you don't know nothing about Italiano
00:06:27
this is so good Pete where'd you get this from uh Italian Market uh it's called Mario's do me a huge favor I'm
00:06:33
not kidding take a bite of this you're gonna [ __ ] lose your mind you're gonna hit a meatball sandwich but you gotta all right you got it um
00:06:45
come on T hey T this guy's over here talking [ __ ] you gonna let him talk to
00:06:51
you like that wow right you never watched The Sopranos did you hello yep that would napkin yeah and the last
00:06:58
thing we need to have you eat at The Cookout is the potato salad and the kimchi and that you got to try all of it okay why me though because you didn't
00:07:04
bring anything I bought the [ __ ] potato salad who brought the potato salad was it Rudy on the way over here where do we go
00:07:11
Ralphs yeah who brought whose idea was it though to pick it up and buy it yeah don't do
00:07:17
that don't do that because you know he didn't bring it can I have one of those
00:07:23
I what a what an unbelievable waste of food I hope we don't air in a country where they're struggling to get food you
00:07:30
do you mean what I hope none of our fans are in countries where they can't get food well I I looked it up
00:07:36
and ethiopius we're huge in Ethiopia huge in Ethiopia
00:07:41
it's good to know we got fans no yeah so listen here's the bottom line
00:07:47
Bob you brought your salad yep and he brought his yeah but the problem
00:07:54
was we wanted it homemade because you said black people in potato salad
00:08:00
we make the best and we care about which one where it comes from this is just Vons yeah I get it
00:08:06
I wanted you to bring your potato salad what do you want me to I don't have a [ __ ] kitchen in my studio if I would
00:08:13
have had one I would have [ __ ] made one I mean what the [ __ ] wait a minute wait wait let me ask you something how's that my problem
00:08:18
[Laughter] can I ask you some questions oh go ahead
00:08:24
and I'm not assaulting you and I'm not say it let's go to Basics yeah let's go do you
00:08:31
have a bathroom yes okay with a shower and everything so you can make wine in the toilet shower but not a bathtub
00:08:37
you don't have a bathtub but you have a shower no yeah yeah but you don't know I don't have a bathtub but you don't you don't take baths do you dog no shower
00:08:44
but if you had a bathtub you would take a bath no you don't like Boston no I love that
00:08:49
because when you wash yourself down and all that nut juice and all that sitting in there it's like a [ __ ] okay
00:08:54
what the [ __ ] are you talking what the [ __ ] are you talking about I don't know how much nut juice comes out of here all
00:09:00
right obviously a ton a time right it must be just a faucet of [ __ ] nut
00:09:06
juice no listen Okay black not juice
00:09:13
black nut juice what you do is this I don't plug in the [ __ ] thing at first
00:09:18
what I do is I let the faucet run in the bath I stick my [ __ ] to it and I take Pine Tar Soap that's what I use right
00:09:25
and I stick the bar inside the [ __ ] and I wash it out yeah then my nut juice
00:09:30
I squirt out some in the little [ __ ] closet yeah little you know I don't have as much as you do I have like three
00:09:37
little squirts all right yeah not juice not just not just right did I wash out my dick right right and then I plug it
00:09:42
up so all the nut juice and [ __ ] juice is all in the drain baby all in the
00:09:48
dream yeah and then I put hot water in and put some Epsom salt right and I take
00:09:53
a little bath yeah and it's relaxing you have a bath bomb yeah sometimes I'll go do it like uh Lush oh I love it like
00:10:00
don't you love Lush oh I love it do the rainbow ones where it makes all the colors bubble up on me yeah like it's like did Elton John fart in here
00:10:11
would have been better if I would have said it right did Helen Johnson yeah I [ __ ] up the joke that's Elton John and
00:10:17
Ellen together yeah Ellen John fart in here no you take baths Rudy no I don't like it why because you because it was
00:10:24
like a was it an evil thing back in the Philippines no I just can't regress
00:10:29
don't you rest in the back what what don't you rest that's what white people
00:10:35
do yeah we just hang out yeah I can't do that what do you mean whites do it he does it too yeah you think it's only a
00:10:43
white thing that's what I see in TVs what were the showers like in the Philippines um did they time you there's no shower
00:10:50
you just have a tub a bucket yeah and then you just do that relax is that
00:10:55
relaxing yeah yeah it's relaxing yeah but you got to get through it before the water gets cold yeah there's no hot
00:11:02
water do you boil it no no this is all cold yeah is the water where's the water
00:11:08
from the river we have a tank there's a tank yeah a
00:11:14
well no tank so it's a water tank yeah they
00:11:19
put the river water in the water tank right it's clean it's clean where's the
00:11:24
water from the I'm not making fun of you I don't know but I see like trucks and they just put water in the tank yeah
00:11:31
yeah it's the same truck that uses the porta potties so yeah I use cold water
00:11:36
yeah what so you got to get an immune system there oh yeah because you know because you know when you take a cold
00:11:42
shower
00:11:51
by the way this [ __ ] got covered like three times I need to take cold showers they should
00:11:57
start so when you take cold showers what happens is your body gets cold break it on and then your [ __ ] blood gets to
00:12:03
[ __ ] you know could I have a theory though I know well I know like cold baths are really good for you after
00:12:08
workout so muscles I go to the when I go to this Korean spa I'll go to the it may heighten your immune system
00:12:15
get it yeah Smoking may kill you I can say maybe
00:12:21
you may be six feet tall no no most likely
00:12:27
yeah well I I I have a theory that go into the hot sauna and then going into the
00:12:34
coal plunge and going back and back and forth will elevate my life extend well
00:12:39
they do say do like doing that is good it tricks your body so it is good for you like have you ever done um cryotherapy no what's that oh can we go
00:12:48
yeah cryo's amazing I mean you basically are in like a freezing tank you're standing up in like a it uses um
00:12:56
look at that there's cryo right there look at that negative 243. [ __ ] wow does
00:13:01
it build does it lukewarm and then it builds it doesn't or it's cold up front no it's freezing [ __ ] cold [ __ ]
00:13:07
outer space is minus 275 that's [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] yeah well you got to wear gloves and stuff and you got to protect
00:13:13
yourself otherwise you'll get frostbite and die and you can only be there for I don't even know it's really quick did
00:13:18
you know in 2029 2028 or 2029 there's going to be space resorts don't get him
00:13:24
so now you're getting him started on NASA yeah yeah so there's gonna be space Resorts and I might book a weekend there
00:13:31
how much is it I don't know how much it's going to be but um base Resort you can go to space yeah there's a resort
00:13:37
it's like a hotel in seven years yeah [ __ ] the flight alone world's first space Hotel will open in 2027. yeah do
00:13:45
you want to go in on a vacation home it's 50 50. yeah I'm so down we have a time share can I go no no I'm not going
00:13:52
why not you're so skinny you float away you feel [ __ ] Abyss the space nah yeah look look at the sky
00:14:00
yeah look nice got space you're in space right now yeah space tourism is no longer uh stuff of the science fiction
00:14:07
or just around the corner aside from private missions missions uh this says uh it's gonna have 2027. wow so where is
00:14:15
it Mars gotta be Mars no just it just probably just floating yeah just know like I'm
00:14:22
not that far from Earth take me to a planet or [ __ ] off I want to go to another planet can we start with just floating in space
00:14:29
and then we could have other planets I don't want to go right to the thing yeah I wanted to go right to the best ride when we went to [ __ ] Six Flags what
00:14:34
did we do do we start off with some [ __ ] or do we do the [ __ ] two yeah yeah why am I [ __ ] why would I
00:14:40
want to go toy around it just take me to the [ __ ] planet I gave her a scenario there we're driving and I go if there
00:14:46
was a planet right that had the same you know atmospheric conditions that Earth did right but we knew nothing about it
00:14:53
would you just move there forever and she said yes I would immediately that's insane what else do I have to
00:15:00
live for down here your wife oh I feel like I can't get a new [ __ ] wife in
00:15:05
space space [ __ ] you don't know what to do Andrew yeah
00:15:11
yeah great to meet you I've been waiting for you I have 75 vaginas you can [ __ ]
00:15:16
all of them imagine yeah imagine you don't know are they good though no there's no there's got to be a couple of
00:15:21
damaged ones two of them bite your dick off it's like Russian Roulette
00:15:27
real nice though yeah but you got to find them yeah yeah the Kepler data calculated the Milky Way could Harbor as
00:15:32
many as 6 billion Earth-like planets well another estimated the number of potentially habitable planets in our
00:15:38
galaxy about 300 million you're telling me you wouldn't take the opportunity to go live on another planet you would survive okay you're not gonna
00:15:45
die right away yeah you could because we don't know what kind of viruses are on on the planet no no but you just did say
00:15:50
it was the same atmosphere as here so we can breathe just fine no it has oxygen
00:15:56
and water and water but we don't know what viruses there's probably new viruses there very good what he's right
00:16:05
yeah thank you so much now do you regret though now he's on your system
00:16:11
in a debate team I would be scared but yeah you shouldn't be Bobby Dustin go [ __ ] let me tell you something yeah I
00:16:16
don't give a [ __ ] what viruses exist or creatures we don't know what kind of creatures live there you'll be embedded in history forever for being one of the
00:16:22
first people to go try it I I would rather be that but let me ask you this then [ __ ] die just doing this podcast
00:16:28
you have to bring six people what six would you bring you why
00:16:34
I could use you as a shield I just feel like I would be the
00:16:40
experimental guy yeah okay no Bob come on yeah just go down yeah and I go in the camera
00:16:46
and I'm dead oh we can't go in that case I would bring I would bring Griff Eric Griffin
00:16:52
why oh I know why well food sampling he would eat anything taste that
00:17:02
then you have to bring a sacrificial lamb you know what that is right yeah yeah you know if the creatures are like you know we need one of you and then
00:17:09
we'll let you go free who do I bring I'll do it yeah see that was disgusting
00:17:16
yeah she loves it yeah she thinks it's going to be some kind of alien orgy that's why she wants to go yeah
00:17:22
would you bring doc for science we need the science guy he has to turn it down no no I'll I would
00:17:31
bring you but you I you'd have to shut the [ __ ] up about this because I would
00:17:36
you'd be sitting there all day yeah no you know I was reading this I was reading the Pentagon report these little rocks on and on and like
00:17:44
you'd be exhausted and then another thing he would be doing is he'd drift away right and you try to pick up like
00:17:49
berries and then he would like like build like some like wood apparatus what
00:17:55
are you doing I'm making wine
00:18:01
because we wouldn't allow the wine but you would yeah go ahead okay let me ask you this what if it was Survivor style though you
00:18:08
dropped off at that planet you still would do it and and if dinosaurs dinosaurs are still dinosaurs right we
00:18:16
can buy dinosaurs yeah yeah but if dinosaurs were still roaming that
00:18:22
particular Planet I love them but you still do it no that's but you've added too many you've added too many shaky
00:18:28
elements what you're saying is is that we get captured and we get dropped off there at some sort of experiment there
00:18:34
it is that's what I'm talking about all right so what you're saying is if we
00:18:40
can't choose who we get dropped off with then do we you can still oh so whatever makes you
00:18:45
come so the alien comes down and goes we're gonna capture you but you get to choose the five that you get captured with or no I thought I think they would
00:18:51
just randomly they're very diplomatic like that yeah okay okay yeah let me say this all right if
00:18:59
dinosaurs were on any of these places I would never go okay what you're done
00:19:05
you're absolutely [ __ ] if it weren't for the asteroid that killed those [ __ ] things we wouldn't exist the
00:19:11
only reason I think that happened universally is to save human race or you know whatever we came from to eventually
00:19:18
get us to be this point because dinosaurs we're gonna roam this thing is we're created by the devil to make us
00:19:24
think that there were dinosaurs okay can all right because the Earth has only
00:19:30
been around for like three or five thousand five thousand years so just just a little bit longer than we've been here yeah yeah seems weird yeah so we
00:19:36
have proof that there's [ __ ] ten thousand Euros oh it's fake yeah yeah to trick us to not to believe in the Bible
00:19:43
well yeah I gotta do I like this devil to not believe in the Bible
00:19:48
hello tushy you guys um honestly um I've always had a dirty
00:19:55
butthole since I've known you yeah since you've known me but no but since you've known me because in our old studio and
00:20:01
this studio we have the tushy we got that tush my butthole is clean as a whistle buddy um I could eat off of it you guys
00:20:07
honestly it's like a game changer for your life the time for spring cleaning is upon us do more than just dust your
00:20:14
cabinets and organize your closets spleen spling sprinkle in your butthole
00:20:19
with hello tushy bidets after wiping with dry scratchy toilet paper all
00:20:24
winter long our bums could use a serious refresh put your clean cleanest booty
00:20:29
forward and start washing the with the hello tushy let me tell you something love the tushy because it's better for
00:20:37
the environment all right and also you get way cleaner right you don't have
00:20:42
that weird uncomfortable moment where you got some swass when you get sweaty ass and then you can feel maybe there's
00:20:48
a little bit of leftover down there I don't like that and this one washes your bone with fresh water way better clean the toilet paper yeah you simply spray
00:20:54
it pat it dry it attaches to your existing toilet no electrician or plumber needed you can do it at home because me and this idiot did it you can
00:21:00
do it in less than eight minutes cut down your and your tpus by 80 okay what about you Jules what do you have to say
00:21:05
hello tushy has cleaned over one million happy bumps join them and take care of
00:21:11
your business the cleaner way we want all of our listeners to have clean bums visit hellotushing.com bad friends to
00:21:18
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00:21:29
friends for 10 off better help hey life can be very overwhelming you tell me
00:21:34
that again burnt out you know and bummed without even knowing it you can be hello without motivation you can feel helpless
00:21:40
or trapped attachment fatigue and so much more and these are all signs that you may need to get a little bit of a
00:21:47
solution you got to help do because I've been using better help and it's it's you
00:21:52
know all the the sadness and the trauma and all that it's been relieved I Feel Free as a little a fly baby a little fly
00:21:58
baby yeah baby boy we associate burnout with work but that's not the only cause
00:22:03
any of our roles in life can lead us to feel burned out and better help online therapy wants to remind you to prior to
00:22:10
prioritize yourself talking with someone can help you figure out that what's causing stress in your life yep so look
00:22:17
Bob and I both talked about this uh we use it I do love it I do think that
00:22:22
perhaps online therapy might be right for you you don't have to go to a weird office you can stay at home which Bob
00:22:28
loves it's customized online therapy from better help that offers video and phone even live chat sessions with your therapist you don't have to turn on your
00:22:34
camera if you don't want to and it's much more affordable than in-person therapy and you can be matched with a therapist in under 48 Hours what about
00:22:41
you Jules how can they get the deal Jules bad friends listeners get 10 off their first month at betterhelp.com bad
00:22:49
friends that's better health.com bad friends zombie apocalypse
00:22:55
though right I would definitely bring you now why is that because you're small low to the ground you're low to the
00:23:01
ground you can get us stuff yeah go to the [ __ ] Gelson's man Bobby you're only inch taller than me but go ahead
00:23:06
[ __ ] yeah but that inch is a dead giveaway dead giveaway they see him that yellow beanie They're Gonna See For Miles yeah I always wear my beauty and
00:23:13
at night we can just you know let you go and you can just scramble on the earth down to wherever you need to go grab
00:23:19
stuff and then come right back I imagine Doc is a zombie we just let him man let him in he's not scary at all
00:23:27
yeah drunk zombie yeah come on just taking a nap
00:23:38
zombie impression do the combo all right [Laughter]
00:23:48
come on [Laughter]
00:24:01
come on Bobby man yeah look I want to say this before we continue on with the fun this what is this called again
00:24:09
this stuff's [ __ ] good yeah shout out to my moon okay you like the Italian sub pretty good do you don't want to break
00:24:16
into potato salad do you well I brought my own so I'm going to try some of mine so doc says that there's is there a
00:24:22
ranking system to potato salad yeah really well it depends on you I want you to try both of these and tell me which
00:24:28
one is better why don't we do this you guys put two on a plate oh yeah mix it about yeah and see which one's better
00:24:34
and see which one he said go go over there behind you know so this one's doc this one's mine that's so good this is
00:24:40
so fun this is like the Pepsi challenge yeah but that's fine yeah when they're like this one's way better I'm a Coke fan they're like man that was Pepsi yeah
00:24:46
I never believed that I thought it was it was always the other one anyway or they put Pepsi in both and I was like this is a [ __ ] scam another thing I
00:24:53
asked um this Juliana was in the car ride over I said what drugs have you
00:24:58
tried she goes I haven't tried any drug except for weed yeah and then I go um
00:25:03
if Harry Styles was shooting heroin oh come on would you shoot heroin with him
00:25:09
and she said yes what are you serious you would do that but that's never gonna happen who the [ __ ]
00:25:16
knows this show is getting popped yeah I don't know you would really do that if
00:25:22
it's with Harry then yeah you would do anything would you murder another human being if Harry Styles says I'd [ __ ] you
00:25:28
yeah wow wow what if he said okay how about would you would you murder another human being he said he would just give
00:25:34
you a hug hug yeah I'm trying to find out your boundaries kiss okay you get a kiss but no tongue
00:25:41
just a little a quick Peck you gotta murder a human being someone specific you have to murder kalila no I can't
00:25:48
would you have sex well if he carries it I'll have sex with you if you murder kalila this is good
00:25:54
I have too oh my you have to kill kalilah I think I will understand yeah
00:26:00
but I [ __ ] wouldn't and I would kill you what would it take if you said you had to kill Tito Bobby what would you
00:26:06
need in exchange for that just a hug just a hug okay that was funny and that
00:26:12
was the right answer but that was wrong hey dude this is a comedy show yeah all right she's right all right so doc wait
00:26:17
do you so you know which one's which yeah okay okay so he knows no so give it to
00:26:23
document let's have a little taste test and let's see which one he thinks is better but I also like the Food Network you got to tell me why you know you want
00:26:29
to watch like this is better give me real reasoning to why you think this is better
00:26:35
which ones you try first number one okay put the mic a little bit closer to you so we can hear so what okay so number
00:26:41
one no no give some descriptions about it nice sweet smooth taste to it okay
00:26:48
is that number two now number two God damn number two is beautiful it's good
00:26:54
huh oh yeah that sounds like that game this feel like it came fresh out of the daily section mine came out of the
00:27:00
container so my ship is in apartment about three four days okay okay which one which one which one's better number
00:27:06
two which one was number two Pete docs that was the one
00:27:11
so what what's the proof of all this you don't know [ __ ]
00:27:17
yours was frozen three times Frozen put back on a shelf
00:27:23
this is why I call [ __ ] but I still know number I still know because I picked number two no no you even said it
00:27:29
wasn't yours you literally went not to say man yeah because I didn't even taste it
00:27:36
it was a brand new box no I know but you you picked the one that wasn't yo that was yours thinking it wasn't going to be
00:27:42
when you just tasted exactly but what I'm trying to tell you is he's doing my tricks again
00:27:52
you ever had the black bombs do the three-car Molly on you same thing all right so um
00:27:58
[Laughter] sometimes sometimes in you know in in
00:28:05
very heavy touristy areas yeah there'll be a guy who has three cards three card Molly you know three bent in half and
00:28:11
he'll do this he'll show up he'll go which one's the you know and you have to pick and then it's a trick there's a it's a simple way of hiding a card that
00:28:16
should be yours that isn't yours it's a it's a but FYI this kimchi yeah
00:28:22
oh I've had this is the worst in the market oh I've had this we have don't we have this in a home it's not even open
00:28:27
no yeah yeah this is from Whole Foods yeah yeah that's the worst of them I've had this [ __ ] before yeah it's terrible look at this it says from Japan yeah
00:28:33
yeah that's why it's not good
00:28:39
yeah uh this is also well okay so these last week we talked about the ingredients yeah you can't are these
00:28:46
some of these ingredients not not good for kimchi then cabbage obviously yellow onion green onion red chili pepper
00:28:52
flakes salt fresh peeled garlic fresh ginger organic sugar fish sauce Ginger I
00:28:57
don't think is a thing is it not a thing for kimchi why am I asking you you're not [ __ ] Korean fresh ginger me
00:29:04
organic sugar fish salt salted shrimp salted shrimp yeah have you had kimchi
00:29:10
before no you want to try something I'm allergic to shrimp no no there is no shrimp in this oh yeah oh yeah yeah I
00:29:15
want to try some that's what I was going to ask you yeah if you had shrimp would you die yeah probably because it caused my
00:29:22
throat to swell and [ __ ] like that let's find out on this episode of is
00:29:27
there shrimp in there shrimp in there because we can't [ __ ] around no no honestly most kimchi doesn't have shrimp
00:29:33
in it I think they're saying like a salted shrimp flavoring you can listen so here's what I'm gonna explain
00:29:40
to you one time why did I have to say all the ingredients
00:29:49
[Laughter] swell up and then you your eyes would roll back and you would die the throat
00:29:55
closes whatever happens yeah yeah well let's see also shellfish
00:30:00
not all of them well yeah yes because I don't know every single one
00:30:06
so I've had lobster no can't do Lobster can't do shrimp can't do uh clams okay
00:30:12
muscle crap can't do muscles you could just say seafood at this point
00:30:18
you named everything I can eat certain fish though oh certain what are the fish you can't have like salmon can you have
00:30:24
yeah tuna yeah okay what are the ones you can't it's rough or you know what orange roughy
00:30:31
I don't know it's a kind of fish but like the idea that you name like how often are you
00:30:37
seeing orange I don't know what to tell you where did you try orange roughy it might have been a restaurant that's what
00:30:43
orange rough is it's actually quite good yeah Snappers can you eat catfish yeah okay
00:30:51
look at what it looks like yeah is that kind of like me it looks like one of my
00:30:56
ancestors I mean if you were a fish that would be you that's where I came from for sure angry have any of y'all had a
00:31:01
shark before no is it is it legal like shark fins
00:31:07
shark yes you could buy shark at Whole Foods yeah what once in a while shark fin I thought shark fin was illegal no
00:31:14
have you tried monitors lizard holy [ __ ] here we go now I know we're
00:31:20
going to the Jungle wait continue go ahead and keep talking so let me ask you something all right
00:31:27
did you just say have you ever tried monitor lizard yeah okay what is that
00:31:33
it's like a really big blizzard that there's it's a lot in the Philippines and they just make it their pets monitor
00:31:41
lizard yeah they make it their pets but then you said have you tried it so do they eat their pets yeah look at the
00:31:47
[ __ ] size of that thing look at that [ __ ] thing you eat that [ __ ] thing that's like a Komodo dragon yeah
00:31:54
what does it taste like let me guess yeah they all taste like chicken yeah it's good so so how do you cook it you
00:32:00
just grill it um yeah Grill it or just fry it that's what my uncle did well let me ask you
00:32:06
something oh there's monitor food you feed it but then you eat it I guess do you do you get it as a pet until you run
00:32:11
out of food and then you have to eat it is that kind of how it works I guess who can afford it as a pet obviously someone
00:32:16
that has a lot of money no like anyone they just but then when do they decide if they're going to eat it or not
00:32:23
when they're hungry I guess yeah okay what is this yeah that's that that's what it looks
00:32:29
like when you eat it that's monitor lizard let me tell you something zoom in on that yeah
00:32:35
that that's good that does not look good that's the opposite of good it looks
00:32:40
good yeah it does I can't even see I I can't even I can't there's not an
00:32:46
American dish or any dish I've ever seen that go oh it looks like that that's right yeah that looks like something out
00:32:52
of this world you have to try it you know what that looks like if I clean out my my the compost thing under my sink if
00:32:58
stuff gets good that's what it looks like it does it looks right right yeah after that choppy thing in my sink when
00:33:03
it gets caught up that's exactly what's underneath do you want me to bring that next time yeah yeah or you know you know
00:33:09
you go in the dryer and then you have that thing and then all that yeah yeah I mean like are those poo seeds I
00:33:17
mean what what's in there that is that is not and they left some skin on so you eat some of the skin crispy yeah oh it's
00:33:22
crispy yucky yucky yucky buddy yeah I would fry it to the point where it was just like you could just only taste the
00:33:28
charcoal if I was on the show alone then and that's only day eight that's on what
00:33:35
really what if we run alone and we're you and I were in the tundra and we haven't eaten they did and we saw
00:33:41
monitors well I would eat it way before that day four I did it day one if I
00:33:46
could get it watching that show how about this I proposed it on the show before yeah and I've said it again and I'm gonna say it
00:33:52
again yeah I want fancy to reach out to Naked and Afraid yeah and I want to do it with you I would love will you do
00:33:58
Naked and Afraid with me we got we got to bring him I think there's only two people that are a lot but okay we'll get well that's not three we gotta do a
00:34:04
three minute will you please reach out to naked and afraid to see if we can do Australia Naked and Afraid number one I want to see him scared and naked me too
00:34:11
bad I'm not trying to be on [ __ ] naked in a friend
00:34:16
yeah yeah don't go from naked and afraid to bugs stop jumping around yeah yeah let's talk about negative afraid why
00:34:22
wouldn't you want to be naked and afraid with us I want to ask you this is a weird
00:34:28
scenario I don't know it's on television yeah go get the [ __ ] do you blur out the
00:34:33
dick or not it's just weird to just be out there naked with YouTube goddamn our
00:34:39
ancestors did this yeah what's so weird about it I think our ancestors like okay
00:34:44
okay how about this what are ancestors what what do you mean [ __ ] more like a leaf dress you know what I'm saying
00:34:49
yeah you get something to cover up your penis I don't know I guess it's my problem I
00:34:56
thought it was like Robin Cox I can't hear you when you're talking Abraham you gotta yeah go ahead we gotta
00:35:02
talk I just say like I just thought we'd be like Robin Cox and eating monitors you think that if we were on naked
00:35:07
afraid we'd be rubbing [ __ ] to make fire what the [ __ ] are you talking about yeah I got my own Boat Grill look at my
00:35:13
dick insane insane oh it's just you and I then yes okay okay you and I will you
00:35:20
propose that fancy will you please reach out to them and also yeah I have I have a festival that I want us to go to show
00:35:26
him the festival that I found today a four day sex Island party okay a sex
00:35:32
Island party in Las Vegas oh what is it you can have a hundred it's like a hundred prostitutes per guy
00:35:39
okay first of all number one do we get um passes from our girlfriends and wives well we have to ask them it's for the
00:35:45
show this is for the show that's for Showbiz this is for the show right I think I
00:35:50
think it should have you doc have you ever done that no no I never went to a brothel but have you had a
00:35:56
brothelium a trap house yeah okay do you know what a traveler no trap house is
00:36:02
like the drug it's like a yeah you so you've had sex at the trap house I got blow jobs here oh you told us about that
00:36:09
from people that were on crack there you go but that's fine but you didn't pay them
00:36:16
you gave them crap right I guess you paid them in a way yeah yeah they came they come new normally they come to you anywhere yeah they're there and you're
00:36:23
like you know listen a little bit of action for a little better y'all know what I mean you're like look you got a
00:36:30
mouse I got some cracks yeah let's go on here to get a bit and then when you're a kid like no I mean you ready to get them
00:36:35
blow jobs I would be so bad at selling crack oh you would be why could you do
00:36:40
it all I would just give it away I'd feel so bad when people are like come on man I just like here dude get out of
00:36:45
here this is you're scaring me I was downtown with my friend Kalisto many many years ago and a crack addict uh
00:36:52
amen and I I give them 40 bucks and then I remember my friend Kalisto grabbed me he
00:36:58
goes you piece of [ __ ] I go why he goes Ollie's gonna [ __ ] do is buy crack
00:37:03
with that why'd you do that and I go because I didn't have any crack on me yeah
00:37:08
what did you want me to do imagine if he asked for some change no and I gave him
00:37:14
crack instead you know how happy he would be he doesn't have to go to you know I mean you know there's no middle
00:37:19
man right direct hey man you got some crack you're like I do yeah yeah because
00:37:24
they don't want so they don't want your money because they need to get they want crack because your money is another step yeah now I need to go get the crack yeah
00:37:30
there is that idea that like if you give homeless people money they'll get liquor or some do something bad with that so
00:37:36
what yeah but for me it's like I just want them to be happy I give them money all the time me too I don't give a [ __ ]
00:37:41
I don't give a [ __ ] Life's too short to me think about what they're gonna do with the money because they might buy
00:37:46
crack but they also might buy Jonas Brothers tickets so they're in a concert yeah you never know or yeah they might
00:37:51
go to Aspen or they might go to Dave Chappelle at the bowl and attack him imagine a guy's like I'm just saving
00:37:56
just enough money to run on stage to buy a save the bell ticket yeah so I can run on stage are y'all serious y'all give to
00:38:02
to every homeless person not everyone but every once in a while you have to have some spirit cash I might do it if I
00:38:07
have a little bit of money in my pocket you know what you know what I do it the
00:38:12
most when I leave the store if I'm leaving the club and I'm going through Hollywood and there's somebody begging yeah I'm gonna give it to him
00:38:19
because why you say it like you don't you don't [ __ ] believe in that [ __ ] no no it's not that I just don't
00:38:25
I thought you might meant like you run to the ATM come back and bring them a little crisp I don't know that's insane
00:38:30
that's insane no we don't do that I'm not gonna go to the I'm not gonna go out of my way and if he dies in the meantime
00:38:37
although there was one incident when I was at the comedy store and it was there during the day to pick up a check and I
00:38:43
remember I'm gonna name his name but um he very funny comic but he would relapse
00:38:51
and he would always do crack right and so he was there during the day just
00:38:56
hanging out in the parking lot right and he came up to me and he was and he had scat he had a [ __ ]
00:39:03
lesion on his face like something had busted open and a blood clot on his face
00:39:08
was [ __ ] crazy and he had no shoes and he's a really funny guy I was there
00:39:14
that day too you were there you remember that day oh yeah you know who it was don't say the name yeah you do remember
00:39:19
something to say yeah yeah yeah and I go um I'll get you a hotel room instead
00:39:25
okay because he asked for cash and I didn't want him to die from doing drugs right so I've twice that's happened in
00:39:33
my life this my other friend Louie same thing happened CK and he um he had relapsed and I go I'll
00:39:41
get you a nice hotel for like three days but I'm not gonna buy you give you money because I don't want them to die but I
00:39:48
think the problem is then you just gave them a place to do crack yeah
00:39:55
that's true that is true I didn't think it through I'm not getting you crack but I'm gonna get you a roof over your head
00:40:00
to do crack yeah that's situation what do you do though no dude you didn't do you look what do you do you're you're
00:40:06
you're you're damned if you do you're damned if you don't so you just have to do it and then hope that they make something that works for them yeah I had
00:40:13
one of those moments the other day I cried at like a [ __ ] YouTube video because it was this I think he had
00:40:19
autism and he was like kind of finicky in a in a guitar store and uh much he
00:40:25
doesn't have autism at all I'm just but I mean he was very nervous and he just acted very like uh uncomfortable and he
00:40:31
was trying to buy a guitar and it was 200 okay and the guy said there is nothing funny about this by the way it
00:40:37
was just sweet hold on hold on the challenge is I want you to find the funny I know I'm gonna
00:40:42
you know I'm looking for that as I say it here's the challenge no but as he the guy says he says okay how much is he
00:40:49
it's 200 with the guitar in the case he goes you don't know how long I've been looking for this I mean who's dude he was like he needed it so bad and the guy
00:40:55
says well how much you have you said I just got paid so is there a way for me to put some on a card and some on a thing and he says yeah yeah so lets him
00:41:02
do his 150 on this and then he says he has 50 or something on that and the guys that go with taxes it's like 220 or
00:41:07
something like that so he's short 20 and he goes oh and he keeps looking at his wallet he's doing that thing it's almost
00:41:13
like cartoonish he keeps looking at his wallet like something might fall out and then a woman goes
00:41:19
how much more do you need and he goes I'm putting it on layaway they're going to put it on they'll hold it for me for six weeks until I can muster up 20 more
00:41:27
dollars and she goes I'll just pay for it and it and it made me cry because I
00:41:32
was like this is Faith in humanity restored now the other part that they didn't show was that he had to [ __ ] the
00:41:39
[ __ ] out of this old Pig for giving him twenty dollars there's the funny
00:41:48
no but he got but it was sweet it was so sweet honestly I'm being serious no that was really you know what that was just
00:41:54
it just made me go why didn't you you have money why don't you jump in it was a video on it
00:42:01
oh my god I've had um in my life yep and I I wish back then when I was younger
00:42:08
upstart was around yeah it would help you upstart is incredible they uh the
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to let them know we sent you loan amounts will be determined based on your credit income and certain other
00:43:07
information provided in your loan application go to upstart.com bad friends of course of course I would what
00:43:15
do you mean you wouldn't give them twenty dollars you would not 200 Guitar Ain't Nothing for like 75 bucks or
00:43:20
something like that [ __ ] out of here man there's people starving in Africa going up and going with that guy oh are you helping people starving in Africa how
00:43:27
much money have you sent to Africa doc I've seen the goddamn debt well then shut the [ __ ] up I'm saying I'm not giving a dude twenty
00:43:34
dollars an acoustic guitars 400 what are you talking about well whatever the case is I'm not giving for a good time that's
00:43:40
that's a luxury okay you know what I hope that guy writes a song about how much he doesn't like you
00:43:47
speaking of the saddest thing I've seen on YouTube can I tell you the saddest video I've seen on YouTube I don't want to see the whole thing let's not play it
00:43:53
but it's this Cambodian TV show I'm already crying
00:43:59
Cambodia does it for me every time and it's a reunion show when people were
00:44:04
ripped apart by the Khmer Rouge and the war okay and so they reunite people
00:44:10
right and um a woman gets reunited with her sister
00:44:17
right and they hadn't seen each other since they were kids right which makes
00:44:23
you cry immediately right but then there's a third surprise and I I don't want to ruin it for people don't ruin it
00:44:29
yeah yeah but there's a third surprise and once you see the third surprise bro that's it if you don't cry yeah turn
00:44:37
on the Waterworks yeah yeah oh it's really good it's really what's the name of the show so people can look it up huh uh [ __ ]
00:44:45
family [Laughter]
00:44:52
yeah you just put Cambodia and reunited and that's the first video we could
00:44:57
actually fast forward it to the end yeah that's it can we just fast forward up to the end and just to get to the surprise
00:45:03
oh yeah yeah yeah yeah okay so I'll just give it away [ __ ] it all right I'll just give it away [ __ ] it
00:45:09
right yeah so yeah roll it in the background yeah yeah so the Two Sisters get reunited and then the lady goes well
00:45:18
here's a family photo and there the closest was like wait a second that is us as kids but we haven't seen this
00:45:24
photo in 40 years so where'd you get the photo they found the mom shut up that's the
00:45:30
photo right there that's the photo right there they found the hey man you can't hit me with surprises
00:45:37
man you gotta [ __ ] slow that [ __ ] all right you already did they already get the read That's The Reunion so go back no no let's do the reveal do the reveal
00:45:44
first go back go back go back yeah okay so now she's going they
00:45:49
haven't revealed it yet don't be scared to act normal yeah yeah that's the mom
00:45:55
right so uh wow yeah she's scared and why do the kids get lost is it they gave up the kids for no
00:46:02
they got split during the war there's bombs going on people running God they turn it up now a little bit turn it up
00:46:09
it's a rough language it's so unattractive thing there's no way to be romantic with the opposite of French
00:46:15
come here baby it's so hard to
00:46:21
hey oh
00:46:26
she kind of doesn't believe it's her she's like who who is this yeah it could be anybody I mean
00:46:34
[Laughter] she's like you look Chinese yeah
00:46:43
it doesn't matter so now watch here's the Third nothing can compare to this well just
00:46:49
you wait oh yeah Push pause it would have been great though if right
00:46:54
before the Embrace I'll just dies
00:47:00
or just a heart implodes and she does I mean how that would have been she's like
00:47:06
Doc is a man God damn oh God bless doc God
00:47:13
bless from special [ __ ] how do you feel about that Rudy um
00:47:18
it was sweet it doesn't give a [ __ ] remember I should try to show you this
00:47:24
video a couple years ago you didn't even watch it no yeah she doesn't like it why you don't like to feel huh
00:47:29
I like to feel sometimes what do you like to feel Harry Styles okay no what
00:47:35
do you feel yeah this isn't it you know this doesn't get yeah I think this comes with age I think you can appreciate this
00:47:40
stuff to your own yeah yeah then once you get older you've never seen you've never felt lost no yeah yeah
00:47:46
and when you feel lost and and that and I think when that happens you'll start those feelings were I don't know maybe
00:47:52
no you're right I don't know when you go through some sort of trauma or loss there's something that happens when you
00:47:58
see stuff like that it makes you get emotional because you know what it felt like you know what the that all those
00:48:03
emotions you don't have any [ __ ] emotions no yeah we gotta buy we gotta get you some emotion
00:48:10
I don't know she's a special one well the worst part is like if she did like you know if she
00:48:15
killed kalila for to Bone Harry Styles like she'd be even happier about death so it'd be it'd be working in Reverse
00:48:20
yeah it's like she's never gonna get back to a good place yeah you're gone forever huh
00:48:26
Jesus Christ yeah yeah that doesn't do anything to you though that really watching that doesn't even
00:48:31
it was nice what do you mean it's nice nice to look at yeah I like their
00:48:36
dresses like when they hug oh that was but you didn't cry what yeah right her
00:48:42
response is why why would I cry yeah what would make her cry about that yeah what would make you cry do you think
00:48:48
dogs oh so if two dogs right and here's your mom Ducks
00:48:57
yeah but they start licking each other and then she's [ __ ] right yeah yeah dog reunited yeah reunited just right
00:49:04
dog reunited this is going to get you this will get you I don't think it will you ice cold
00:49:10
[ __ ] yeah oh my God the dog
00:49:16
look at that with its owner oh they don't really know that woman that well oh licky face oh you just start the red
00:49:24
rocket comes out look at that Rudy
00:49:31
oh no the saddest one is Army Soul whenever it's soldiers when the dog
00:49:37
there's one where a dog is literally crying at his master's gravesite oh yeah
00:49:43
yeah and you could he he's going oh yeah
00:49:50
yeah yeah yeah yeah I remember that it's husky right it's a husky yeah yeah oh no
00:49:56
if this doesn't get you yeah you're a narcissist yeah yeah you're a piece of
00:50:02
[ __ ] laughs
00:50:07
holy [ __ ] this is count is actually killing me
00:50:13
why would I put them right after yeah because when another dog is gone I can't believe it
00:50:20
oh no oh see oh this is dying owner oh man hey man
00:50:29
this is gonna turn into like a uh your mom's house just [ __ ] up [ __ ] no no no no I can't
00:50:35
see this stop turn it off
00:50:42
yeah the next video is a dog wearing a wetsuit diving into saving six other dogs Jesus Christ whoever put that
00:50:49
together yeah has no gay who has no gauge of how extremism works
00:50:55
they're all crying on it the old owner's gripe and then four dogs in the street that were bludgeoned
00:51:01
by cars pawing at each other's face it's just that was a little too much too much way too much yeah is there a movie that
00:51:09
you cried on
00:51:16
that makes me cry every time the last second of the movie Magnolia
00:51:23
uh what's at the end there so Jossie Riley is dating this girl this
00:51:28
girl was molested by her dad in the movie right the talk show like I remember the movie yeah talk show host or whatever and he's you know going I
00:51:36
want to be with you and we're going to do all these things and it's just a [ __ ] camera shot on the girl's face
00:51:42
and she's look looking at him with tears in her eyes right and the last second she looks in the camera and she smiles
00:51:50
it's so [ __ ] good oh it makes me it's like Redemption oh it's
00:51:56
like feeling safe I felt it when you said it yeah yeah what makes you cry then doc do you have something in your mind [ __ ] Gladiator when the
00:52:03
[ __ ] when she's like holding him and he's dying and then she's like go to him and they show his family and
00:52:08
then his wife is like her hand go across the thistles right there that hand across the thistle that's it no [ __ ]
00:52:15
tears I'm in that [ __ ] what did you just say fancy as the music
00:52:21
the music the music music yeah what about you Jules what have you
00:52:27
cried on it's the dog movie Hot Chick Air Bud
00:52:32
I do get it every time I see everybody hi Chico
00:52:39
what hot Chico Hot Chico yeah c-h-i it's inanimate is it a [ __ ] no
00:52:47
it's not anime I've never heard of Hachiko the movie in
00:52:52
my entire [ __ ] life that's the movie
00:53:01
his [ __ ] laughs bring up the trailer
00:53:09
that would make me cry too oh that hurts do you even know what he said what he's
00:53:14
joking about no yeah it's an urban legend I don't think it's true that's true but there's always been this urban
00:53:20
legend and I don't know why I don't know where Richard here stuck a gerbil in his [ __ ] what's a gerbil it's like a
00:53:27
little mouse a little hamster why I don't know why what is that Urban how did that even come about that urban
00:53:33
legend of the ER the ER what the show that he went to the emergency room and
00:53:38
they had to get it out of him really that's where the rumor comes from oh wow hey who knows see if it's true though is
00:53:43
it true how could you they're not gonna [ __ ] they'll have that removed Highly Questionable cultural history of Richard
00:53:48
Gere's asked her the article doesn't help me
00:53:54
yeah it's it's called gerbiling yeah that's what it's called when you do when you put gerbils in your butthole
00:54:00
gerbiling gerbiling yeah and you got to leave little pieces of food up there for it to find it's animal cruelty right
00:54:07
for some people no but the animal dies right there's no animal that goes and it comes out alive really yeah but if it I
00:54:14
mean if I stuck you in an elephant's [ __ ] for how long for more than 15
00:54:19
seconds you'd be that if I could get a little bit of air I'd be okay I mean
00:54:25
some people say eating monitor lizards is bad you see what I'm saying yeah yeah it's fine it's normal you see and
00:54:31
gerbiling might be normal In some cultures some people might be gerbiling might have been the way that they found God
00:54:36
uh I don't want to question someone's religious yeah you know but is it is let's explore a little bit um is the
00:54:43
sensation I would think is to feel something die inside you that's dark well [ __ ] so terrible
00:54:51
dog maybe a little hamster or something get that little that little patter on the feet and anybody out there that
00:54:57
likes to make art for the show like and by the way I want to say Career Studios we love this guy this dude makes such great art anybody that likes to make art
00:55:03
for the show go ahead and make a uh gerbiling dog yeah yeah
00:55:10
we love gerbil and dog yeah so go back real quick to this movie I need to see oh that is Creo art studios that's our
00:55:16
guy that that makes great art for us we love this dude go ahead and say it your way fancy because you know Eric yeah
00:55:21
enough you let him do that once and because he's like can I do it live on the show I'm like yeah I want to see the
00:55:28
trailer for Hachiko yeah trailer for Hachiko it's from the director of Chocolat did this [ __ ] movie wow
00:55:34
it said based on a true story too is this it yeah this is just a story about a guy who
00:55:40
[ __ ] adopted a dog and it works out yeah but at the end something happens the dog dies no Richard Deer dies yeah
00:55:49
then the dog waited for him at the train station oh but he did know because he didn't know he was dead
00:56:00
keep going let's see they're not gonna show anything about him dying yeah yeah
00:56:06
V is always waiting yeah all right pause it really responsible to let this dog just
00:56:12
roam around town do you know what I mean he can get hit with it by a car so easily yeah and why is my dog waiting
00:56:17
for me the train station because he had to go six miles to get here Richard Gere yeah that was [ __ ] mean let him roam
00:56:22
around this small here's another thing we thought about this remember the Cambodian video I showed you earlier what if they were in town
00:56:29
[Laughter] wait that same that same shot
00:56:42
dude that same shot of of him looking under that clock where the dog's supposed to be it's just those three women
00:56:47
[Laughter]
00:56:55
dude you were [ __ ] cracking me up right now dude you're cracking me up right now you
00:57:02
know why why because I saw this video it's on YouTube where the dog goes and
00:57:08
he's his owner dies and he just goes to the same spot and just Waits oh yeah that's gotta be what they talking about
00:57:15
oh we just watched it that became real yeah it is on YouTube we just said yeah yeah now you mean the real story yeah
00:57:22
yeah well where the [ __ ] is the real one that's gonna be better than this one yeah
00:57:29
that didn't get me yeah I just that didn't get me not like the Cambodian woman story I don't know there it is
00:57:36
that's give me the [ __ ] real one you were the real Let me see a photo of this the faithful pup
00:57:44
oh and they oh first of all it was an Asian guy yeah and then there's a story so you're wrong no no I'm talking about
00:57:50
there is a real live like United States thing that happened I know but that's not that movie it's not based on that
00:57:55
movie okay it's fine it's fine so wait a minute this whole film was based on an
00:58:01
Asian family and their dog and they [ __ ] whitewashed this movie they whitewashed it another version of the
00:58:08
[ __ ] white devil it's like ghost in the show when they put [ __ ] Scarlett Johansson
00:58:17
she was white yeah you can name so many Ghostbusters
00:58:23
Ghostbusters that was an Asian they're all Asians who's supposed to yeah
00:58:38
really [Laughter]
00:58:53
the ghosts are all yellow I am with a key master
00:58:58
insane I'm sick of white people [ __ ] stealing Asian films and we gotta put a stop tired of it it's disgusting well I
00:59:05
mean I told you about you know because I have a joke about it on stage about um they made a movie about Genghis Khan oh
00:59:12
yeah and John Wayne played them I know I know that picture John Wayne played Genghis Khan in a [ __ ] movie you know
00:59:19
who Genghis Khan is don't you yeah do you know who that is Rudy no look at that John Wayne is Genghis Khan
00:59:24
he was the Joe Stalin of China did you say he was a Joe Biden of China
00:59:30
no Joe Stalin [Laughter] you know he was a Joe Biden in Chinese
00:59:39
he was a Kamala Harris of China zoom in on how insane that is this is
00:59:44
insane that's John Wayne yeah as an Asian guy
00:59:49
that's what they used to do by the way doesn't look Asian even a little bit at all not even not at all that just looks
00:59:55
like a guy who likes motorcycles yeah that's just a [ __ ] but imagine imagine the calls that the Asian actors
01:00:01
that auditioned with that part got when they found out who got it
01:00:08
look at the guy to his right how they've gussied him that is crazy crazy dude that's a white
01:00:15
guy too that's a white guy yeah oh they used to do that go to the IMDb page and
01:00:21
I want to see the cast and let's see actually how many [ __ ] Asian Asian members are on there yeah what's that movie called The Conqueror yeah the
01:00:28
Conqueror that's right yeah okay 1956 1956 yeah okay scroll down scroll down
01:00:35
by the way the love interest also a white girl yeah Stars here we go zoom in deep John Wayne
01:00:42
Susan Hayward Pedro Pedro so Latin dudes got it before Agnes
01:00:50
Moorhead Thomas Gomez
01:00:56
William Conrad Ted decorse so wait a minute this anything oh there's a Lee Van Cleef
01:01:04
yeah yeah at the bottom oh Richard Lou the captain of Wang's guard oh he yeah
01:01:11
background yeah yeah that's the only Asian we found on the primary care yeah
01:01:16
there's a billion Chinese and they can only find one that's crazy there's a
01:01:23
billion of these [ __ ] people yeah and they're like we just don't know where to turn yeah yeah I just don't think we can
01:01:28
cast any Asians in this yeah it's insane wow Richard Lou shout out to [ __ ] Richard Lou
01:01:34
you know what yeah this episode we're dedicating to Richard Richard Liu shout out to Richard Lou born in one of your
01:01:39
favorite places in Hawaii died the year of Our Lord Andrew Santino's birth 1983 here in Los Angeles what else did
01:01:46
Richard Lew do I bet you some more racist [ __ ] yeah The
01:01:52
Man with the Golden Gun steel helmet The Quiet American Purple Heart let's see his names though
01:01:57
this has always got to be yeah scroll down to his actor let's see the name of all it's always good what if he did a movie called Emperor hiroyito and Steve
01:02:03
Martin play today and he's just a Guardsman look at all of his names
01:02:09
Dr lipu high fat
01:02:15
Tanaka Ys Chen yeah linchu Tai shenshi
01:02:20
Leo my favorite is one it's just like Mark but yeah yeah Jimmy McGavin or something
01:02:26
let me ask you something this is that's what's [ __ ] about it is that not like because he's born in Hawaii you
01:02:33
know I mean so he's an american guy right yeah he's an American and imagine that's all he could get those are his thing Chang
01:02:41
yeah ping pong ping pong and he's like and that's once every five years
01:02:47
probably there's one part as a Guardsman or some Butler well even though he looked because no no right there Hawaii
01:02:53
Five-O stop Hawaii Five-0 1968 Wong two yeah Wong two yeah and you know those
01:02:59
writers are doing that because they think there's something's funny you know what I mean the writers are like wing wang or uh yeah Wang Chung or pots and
01:03:06
pans throw it against the wall hey look at this and I Dream of Genie he was just Wong just long yeah hey can I be Wong
01:03:14
two no just Wong well here's a question yeah do does do
01:03:19
Korea make remake American movies no they don't now Korean does a lot of
01:03:24
original stuff we do original stuff oh okay well you think that Korea is going to make let me sit there I have an idea
01:03:31
let's do medical Malcolm X by the way I'm watching that in the
01:03:38
theater yeah and the Malcolm Bobby Marie you know what it should be it should be
01:03:44
uh what's a Denzel movie King Kong ain't got [ __ ] on me
01:03:49
training dead Korean style would be so fun but they would set it they would rewrite it right but they would never do
01:03:56
a biopic right I don't think they would you know because Seven Samurai the movie
01:04:01
Seven Samurai America made it into Magnificent Seven which is okay because they they set Samurai into cowboy and
01:04:09
they they same storyline but they switched the character that's one thing that's cool you could do that but if you're casting yeah I mean
01:04:16
a white dude to play an Asian guy that's where I have the problem it's just goofball [ __ ] it's goofball yeah
01:04:21
especially a historic figure not like it's not like just a random dude it's
01:04:26
[ __ ] Genghis it's weird to play a big figure and it's it's weird on all fronts
01:04:32
but also shout out one more time to our main guy what was his name again here Richard Luke you please memorize it
01:04:38
Richard Lou Richard Lou Richard shout out to Richard Lou rest in peace thank you for coming to the cookout by the way
01:04:44
and I'm appreciative of you guys bringing food what is this again this is potatoes and eggs potatoes and eggs yes
01:04:50
that doesn't sound yeah I don't know right now uh a pass wait I got and what is this is homemade yes wait who made it
01:04:57
I've made it I gotta try it oh it actually smells really good you want to
01:05:02
try one of these potatoes and eggs foreign
01:05:12
no it's not a [ __ ] tortilla don't do that Spanish not Mexican rude
01:05:18
That is rude probably Mexican's lazy because you don't do that with their tortillas
01:05:23
well this is called tortilla yeah wow this is really good thank you for being a bad friend
01:05:32
[Music] good
01:05:41
morning it's at the government hey that's what my fingers be important is that the [ __ ] government I never said that it was this color this guy I'm
01:05:47
saying well this is happening it's white people the most
01:05:56
literally nothing I know about critical racism
01:06:03
[Music]
01:06:15
hmm [Music]
![[CLEAN VERSION!] Open Chucanos & Closed Chichitos | Ep 118 ft. Fahim Anwar | Bad Friends](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/EillbZD0pMc/mqdefault.jpg)