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hi i'm daniel butler welcome to another edition of america's dumbest criminals
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[Music] on this episode of america's dumbest criminals they took my marijuana plants
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and marijuana plants yes a goofy guard caught off guard a silly squirrel nut speeder you sped up to
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avoid hitting a confused crook in not out of the woods a running robber in one moment please
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i suppose you're going to make some kind of case out of it all this and more coming up on america's
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dumbest criminals here's your host daniel butler this next surveillance tape shows us a
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dumb criminal who couldn't have picked a worse time or place to display his lack
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of common sense the last place you would expect crime would be at a convention for security
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companies this particular booth was boldly advertising its variety of surveillance cameras and equipment
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available to catch criminals in the act everyone who walked by could plainly see
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that well our insecurity guard for the convention decided to overlook the obvious and steal a tool right off one
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of the most watched booths in the building of course he was caught on tape from a
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variety of angles and arrested within a matter of minutes probably still wondering how in the world they were
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able to catch him we weren't sure what category to put this next story in dumbest defenses
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without question wild kingdom probably call it a hybrid if you want but one thing we can definitely call it is
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dumb this traffic officer pulled the driver over for doing 42 in the 25 mile per
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hour zone but the lead-footed woman had a bushy-tailed excuse okay what's the
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problem well i stopped you for speeding you're speeding all the way down from uh
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way up there over here oh yeah you're doing about 45 and a 25. oh yeah well you know why
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no i don't know there was a um squirrel and i had to hurry up i thought i was going to hit it
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squirrel the officer thought the squirrel story was just nuts and wrote the woman to
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take too bad officer elizabeth mann tells us the case of a dumb criminal who only got dumber
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we had a another burglary in progress where a municipal worker had passed by and seen
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this guy breaking into a house so the police officer gets there the crook's gone but he left a vehicle
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in the driveway which was stolen and when officers looked in the vehicle they found his driver's license
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a year and a half two years later pretty recently [Music] we one of our officers is driving around
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spot suspicious vehicle and uh tries to stop the vehicle vehicle evades them uh four guys get out and start running well
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after they wreck the car four guys get out and start running stolen car all four men in the car disperse and
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everyone but the driver is caught so far well lo and behold he left his driver's license behind same
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guy same guy when the winter weather nips at their noses dumb criminals will do their
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darndest to come in from the cold even if it means warming up to the heat i believe this story will keep you frozen
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to your set it was 10 degrees below zero in cincinnati when this detective and his
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partner answered a call about two guys sticking up a gas station they quickly nabbed one of the crooks but the other
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one escaped into the woods while his partner drove the prisoner back to the station the detective
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followed in the bad guy's car a few minutes into the trip he pulled a u-turn
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and went back to the woods by the gas station playing a wild hunch he blew his horn
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sure enough out of the frosty knight ran the other club back up a little all right hold it right there
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you know to this day the officer's partner doesn't believe that's how he
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caught the criminal who will never be known as mr freeze officers in dallas texas had set up a
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checkpoint to try and catch people who were driving without an operator's license that wasn't unusual for cars to
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suddenly try to stop and turn around to avoid the check officers knew that meant
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there was a problem and then sent a car after them on this particular day they noticed a car see the checkpoint then
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pull suddenly off the road however the car didn't turn around but the officers
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could see that the driver and passenger were frantically switching seats inside the car then the car proceeded to the
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checkpoint at the checkpoint the officers were surprised to find out that the new
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driver had no operator's license and was too drunk to walk they immediately checked the original
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driver and found that he was in exactly the same condition the officers had them into one more
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switcheroo from their vehicle to the back of one of the waiting police cruisers nearby sort of a chinese fire
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drill hi i'm daniel butler here with the bodacious bicarbonate bone month bacon
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thank you sharing with you the foils failures fiasco's faux pas and flops of
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the dumb crime world it's not often you know that the target of a robbery aids
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in capturing the culprit it doesn't happen very often rare a patrol officer in concord new hampshire was making his
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usual evening rounds when some pooper sleuthers alerted him to a disturbance at the back entrance of a local store a
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lot of stuff to come out the officer was there to greet the pet shop pillagers as they came out of the
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broken back door stockpiled with pet supplies and flea collars well how much did those doggies in the window cost
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those little puppy poachers they're about five to ten years yeah which is what this bundling bank
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robber got when he went in to hold up a new york city bank on a payday friday what he didn't realize was that
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government employees don't work for free and it just happened to be payday for
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the fbi whose headquarters were located in the same building what are the odds when he asked the teller to hand over
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the money he heard several guns start kind of cocking and clicking behind his head yeah and a very large light bulb
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went off over his head dumb dumb dumb very large indeed tgi the fbi a spelling miner escaped from the
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maryland house of correction and went straight to his mother's house when police arrived and asked for bow weevil
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he replied my name's not beau weevil it's bo smith the cops asked him to
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spell his last name he couldn't well can you spell adc a very good d d d excellent thank you
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you win and now let's take a look at our video of the week you've heard the old
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saying hold on to your wallet well this guy held on to everyone's a couple came
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downstairs late one night and surprised a prowler he grabbed a purse off the kitchen table and ran out the door the
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husband chased after him and reappeared a few minutes later with his wife's purse and hand the thief had dropped the
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person his escape over the back fence he had gotten the wallet out of the purse with all the woman's charge cards
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and driver's license and about 20 dollars in cash but what he failed to get was the three thousand dollars the
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woman had in cash in a secret zippered pocket if this man had been your average ordinary thief he might have gotten away
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with it but he was one of america's dumbest criminals you see most per snatchers will jettison
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the person the nearest trash can as soon as they snatch it but this guy had kept
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every purse every wallet every piece of id and every credit card he had ever stolen no i'm not kidding each wallet
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represented 18 months in jail and we understand that the police are still counting
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[Music] a teenager still in the pre-graduate stage of his criminal career stole a car
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with a few buddies and took it for a joyride they left it in a field and made a clean getaway or so they thought one
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of these bozos had left his homework in the car indeed the freshman must have been very
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surprised when the officer knocked on his door hi there you michael yeah mike we got kind of some bad news for you
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here i'm here to arrest you for not doing your homework but you may not do my homework well you
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know the homework that you left in the backseat of the car that you just stole and i bet he got more than just a little
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after-school detention but don't worry we'll give him an a-plus for ignorance
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if you're a dumb criminal you should really consider taking your brain with you everywhere you go seriously
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especially at the police station it was a quiet day at the station when our light-headed losers stopped by to report
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an unusual theft i'd like to report that my roommate he took my marijuana plants
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he took what he took my marijuana plants your marijuana plants yes you understand
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if you're important the officer tried his best to keep a straight face and let the kid know that
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if they did arrest his friend that they would have to arrest him as well for these marijuana plants
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it is i wasn't aware of that are you sure you want to do that um maybe i'd better reconsider it
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not surprisingly the tattletailing toker decided to keep a lid on it and charges
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were never filed like whoa if the police department had a detector for criminals like the national weather
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service has for its storm watches there would be a dumb criminal alert going off 24 hours a day and always when
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you'd least expect it while stopped at an intersection one afternoon an officer's car was hit from
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behind by another car he called in and reported the incident to a state trooper and then prepared to go look at the
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damage as he was about to get out of his car a drunken man from the other car approached him and said anybody who's
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not damaged such case way he was so tanked that he didn't even notice that he had hit a police car
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until the uniformed officer got out of the car to which our pickled pepper replied i suppose
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make some kind of photo case the officer corrected him and said that it would only be a state case and booked
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him for dui while this guy's wife shouted sternly i told you you were too drunk to drive
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well i'm sure she won't let him forget that for a good long time in the movie clueless alicia
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silverstone's driving lessons don't include parking because as she points
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out everywhere you go has ballet well of course that's not true but there are four clueless bank robbers from
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richmond county south carolina who probably wish it was it seems that a quartet of criminals
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rolled into a small town to pull a bank job hoping not to draw attention to their car they parked a few blocks away
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in the residential neighborhood and planned to steal a getaway car to get back the heist went smoothly and the robbers
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were ready to make a break for it only they couldn't remember where they parked
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their own car but this plan was a bigger clunker than the last paulie shore vehicle and at
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least paulie could find his vehicle the criminals were arrested and convicted for bank robbery
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next time maybe they'll stick up a bank that has valet how clueless can you get
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come on if you're a drunk criminal lost on the road who are you going to call how about
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drunk busters one afternoon the state police issued an all-points bulletin for a drunk driver
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that they had lost track of on the interstate a local police officer was parked on a
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side street when all of a sudden a car pulled out hey you hey can you help me can you tell me we're possible
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excuse me one street huh possum road give me a second shut your engine off and i'll give you directions
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he got directions all right and all night logic to boot what a deal an officer attended a police auction of
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cars seized in drug bust one afternoon however he soon found himself involved in a rather unusual bidding war with a
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very stubborn man bidding for the car appeared to be going well for the officer except for one
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thing the man next to him who refused to be outbid eventually he outbid everyone and rushed
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to fill out the paperwork the officer thought something was up and watched as the crook wrote a check and that's when
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it all came together the name on the check matched the name of the previous owner of the car a known criminal wanted
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for several arrests he was buying back his own impounded car the officer quickly impounded the crook
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and drove him down to the station in the officer's shiny new car fingerprints thumb prints
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lip prints yep you heard right this dumb criminal learned that puckering up can put you in
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the slammer this is a story of a bungling bank bandit who gave the police department a
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big fat lip which is exactly what they needed the suspect in question had just held up a local bank in las vegas nevada
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then he turned to flee but when the dork rushed out he headed straight for the in
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door and smacked right into the glass leaving a big lip print behind it was those luscious lip prints that
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prosecutors later used along with the bank surveillance tape as evidence to convict the puckered up perp
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d is for distraction that's what this pensacola robber hoped to create in a daring bank heist d is for detail and he
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thought he'd covered them all but as you can see through surveillance cameras
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this dandy dude was just plain dumb he managed to rob the bank and flee without incident part one seemed to work
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out as planned he quickly ducked into the restroom of a nearby restaurant where he had earlier
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hidden a change of clothes and presto chango a new look and a new identity he was meticulous in order not to be
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connected to any incriminating hair survivors he set the old shirt ablaze delighted with his deception our dandy
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failed to consider the consequences of his bathroom bonfire dewater from the sprinkler system he panicked and slipped
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on the wet tile broke his leg when firefighters arrived at the scene this is what they found
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all there was left to do was deliver the dummy directly to the jail the end [Music]
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a well-dressed man went into a fort lauderdale bank with one transaction in mind to rob it before doing so he
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a gave the clerk his note b waited patiently for over 20 minutes while she called the police
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c politely took the money then ran outside to the waiting arms of the law or d all of the above
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we have a winner folks a dumb criminal is just like you or me with one exception we have a brain
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and aren't afraid to use it we'll see you next week on america's dumbest
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criminals the laughs just keep coming on the next episode of america's dumbest criminal
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golly dude who's that frankly blue shirt [Music] a dance is door jam all this and more on the next episode of
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america's dumbest criminals the first one that came to mind was um we had a residential burglar that
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was well known around this area one day uh because we were trained as firefighters and police
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i had a reporter with the houston chronicle writing with me to you know do a story on the pso program
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well i got a call about um three juveniles sitting on a corner of a street so i drive over there and one is the
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burglar and two other juveniles an adult 17 at the time and i spoke to this burglar
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and i found out that he had tube socks in his pants which or what he puts on to hide his
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fingerprints so i knew what he was going to do it was obvious that they were sitting watching people leave their
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houses to find out who they were going to burglarize and i told them i said you know
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john doe i know what you're wearing don't do a burglary today okay because
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you go to jail oh man i'm not going to do a burger an hour later we get a call of burger in
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progress same area so here i am i've got a reporter with me and i'm driving down the street
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and had a description it was a description of the clothes he was wearing and i was looking down these streets as
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i was driving to where the burglar was and i see him just walking along so i pull in he doesn't
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try to run for me or anything and you know i said so and so put your hands on the car
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i just put him in the back of my car i drove him around to where my complainant was and i had her look out her window
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and she said you know that was him so i got him out of a patrol car but then another officer was over there
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and we started to pat him down and he had a watch in his pocket that he did not have earlier you know as a woman's
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watch and some other stuff so i pulled out the back seat of my car and there was a pile
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of jewelry where he had taken it out and dumped it so i got a burglary conviction
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on him and he went to the penitentiary so that was a good case