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this is an adc warning the crimes you're about to see are true only the names were changed to protect
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the ignorant [Music] tonight on america's dumbest criminals you'll see a criminal who falls asleep
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just behind the wheel actual footage of dumb criminals on ice and a case we call
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all spruced up these are just a few of america's dumbest criminals [Music] welcome to america's dumbest criminals
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i'm daniel butler it doesn't matter who you are or what your education is when
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you decide to break the law everything goes wrong true some criminals are born to dumbness some achieve it but most
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have dumbness thrust upon them you're about to meet the least wanted of the most inept as we open the files on
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america's dumbest criminals mcintosh of birmingham tells us about a dumb criminal who could run fast but he
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just couldn't run far we had a burglary call go out and it was one of the old mom-and-pop
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type grocery stores and they said there was a couple of guys breaking in the back of the store so my
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partner and i eased up with their lights off they spotted us and they just bolted
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out the front door shattered the front door and ran one went south and one went north my
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partner being smart he went after the shorter fatter guy so i took off after my guy
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this guy had a 40-yard head start and i thought well no chance but i'll put on
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the show but as he crossed the street like i said this residential section this man all
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the way down his yard had like eight to ten foot high uh spruce type bushes that were real wide
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and as he crossed the street he was looking back at me and he ran right into one fell down on the other side you know
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and so i kind of gave a little chuckle and thought well i'll gain a little bit well
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he jumped up and i mean each one spaced like 15 feet apart he jumped up ran looked back at me and
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ran into the second one tumbled through the other side well but now i'm gained on him and he ran through
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the third and ran through the fourth and i would have caught him by the third one
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but i was laughing so hard by the time i got to him so he snatched him up mr larry johnston of new york was issued
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2 800 parking tickets between 1985 and 1988 he used 19 addresses and 36 license plates to evade paying the 150 000 in
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fines he began parking without his car but the street sweeping was brutal while running radar one afternoon an
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undercover narcotics officer pulled over a speeding car with snooze control let's watch
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i had a man i clocked him speeding and he was going probably 65 and a 40. so i pulled him over
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and as i pulled him over he put the his car in in park and jumped into the back seat
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and laid down i didn't know if he was going after a weapon or what he was doing so i called for a
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backup unit when my backup unit got there we approached the vehicle and there was a
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female sitting in the front seat what's he doing i don't know i don't
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know what he's doing sir sir what are you doing sir what are you doing sir get up
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get up he tried to tell me that he wasn't driving the car that i had the wrong car that he had
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been in the back seat of sleep [Laughter] he also had warrants out on and i arrested him for dui
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that little nap got our backseat driver a nice long stretch in jail and now actual footage of our
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extravaganza we call dung criminals on ice the roads are closed the police have asked people not to drive it's icy out
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but drive they must and crash they will now a young car thief who knows too much
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about something he knew nothing about a four-wheel suspicion patrolling a strip of fast food
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restaurants in memphis two officers spotted a known car thief pulling out from a drive-through window in a car
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they suspected didn't belong to him at about the same time he spotted the patrol unit
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the car thief kid took off the cops hit their lights and sirens and started the pursuit the officers had dealt with this
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kardnapper on numerous occasions in the past but he was still a minor then so whenever he'd steal a car the cocky kid
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would always go for broke when chased by the police this was the first time the officers had
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chased him since he turned 18. now he was an adult and could be tried as one the next day the new adult was taken to
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the detective's office for questioning man you got the wrong guy oh really you were identified in a car that didn't
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belong to you chased for seven miles and then arrested right after you exited the
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vehicle of course it was you there's no way they could identify me and why is that
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man i learned a ball cap and the windows of the car pretended oh yes he was smart he just identified
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himself and confessed all at one time [Music] imitating animals is against the law in
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miami florida but you can imitate insects using balloons and glasses breaking the law is the first step taken
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on the road to becoming a dumb criminal the second step is believing that the police are as dumb as you are
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here's captain rick biliu of the las vegas police department to tell us about
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two men he met on the second step of that road it was about two o'clock and we had passed we were driving down
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eastern avenue and we had passed a car that was alongside the road and we noticed that
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it was jacked up and one of the tires were off of it or flat i don't recall but we continued
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down eastern and we noticed these two males pushing a tire down the street and they were pushing the tire along
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well we knew that further down the street was a gas station that closed at 11 o'clock
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and we thought surmised that possibly these two had committed a burglary on the gas
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station to get a tire to fix the the the car that was broken down so we stopped them got in front and they were
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they were latinos they were uh i believe from mexico but they were latin males and i asked the one
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where did you get the tire get that tire not blowing glass no i playing glaze which meaning i don't speak english
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and i said oh okay and i turned to the other and i said where did you get the tire
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and he said i don't know he said it was his tire i just walked with him for about the last
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block i don't know where he got it and i said oh you're not together and he
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said no we've just been walking for about a block and i said oh yeah well could you ask
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him where he got the tire so he turned to him and said where oh you get all the tyro
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i don't speak spanish his partner mumbled something back to him because it distracted me
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and he turned back to me as if to answer me and i looked at him and i think my mouth
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dropped open and i said where are you ghetto de tyro he speaks a different dialect
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i said you've got to be kidding me i said i'm not spanish i don't speak
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spanish but i know that's not spanish and as it turned out they were both of latin descent
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but they were born and raised in the united states had lived there all of their lives their parents too and
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neither one of them spoke spanish and as luck would have it we had another unit go down and the and the gas station
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had been burglarized and they committed the burglary so the stolen tyro led to their allesto
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coming up a dumb criminal who escaped 46 years too late [Music] welcome back if you're going to break out of prison
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after 28 years a getaway car is a good place to start that is if you can start it
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back in 1918 victor mitchum was sentenced to life in prison after 28 years of incarceration he managed to
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escape with the help of a lifelong friend the friend was instructed to leave a getaway car on an old abandoned
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farm near the prison the criminal's escape went like clockwork as he reached
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the old farm there set the car as planned things were going good but they weren't going good for long you see when
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victor was sentenced way back in 1918 the cars that he knew were all started by a large crank on the front of the car
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this new modern baby didn't have a crack it was started with a key from the dashboard a slight engineering
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advancement that our fossilized felon was unable to grasp he was still sitting in the car
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trying to figure it out when the state police picked him up and gave him a ride back to prison
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[Music] it is illegal to wrestle an untrained bull in new mexico but an untrained bull
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can beat the living daylights out of you when now retired officer frank walmer got the call about a man trying to kick
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in a basement door of a woman's home he didn't expect to find him still there
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walmer and his partner were dispatched to a burglary and progress call in a residential neighborhood the officers
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arrived and the homeowner was very frightened as the officer stood in the living room
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they could plainly hear all sorts of thumping and bumping coming from the basement
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the two officers went into the kitchen and found that someone on the other side of the basement door was methodically
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kicking it in once he broke through the thick-headed thief never looked around he twisted
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wiggled and with a great deal of effort family managed to squeeze through the hole he had made my house
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no it wasn't his house his house is now the big house and now the more actual footage of dumb
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criminals on ice [Music] abc quiz number 1822 how often would you think a car is
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stolen in the united states is it a one car every 20 seconds b every time you turn around
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or c 180 cars per hour the correct answers were a and c there's one car stolen every 20 seconds or 180
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cars stolen per hour in the united states so my question is if they steal them as
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fast as we make them then do we ever own them [Music] officer timothy walker of birmingham is
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about to tell us a good story about a bad excuse we had we stopped the white female and a white
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male in a drug area we know well-known drug area and uh somebody told them that we were in an
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unmarked car and somebody said it's 5-0 you know and 5-0 is you know they alert everybody in the in the area
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that 5-0 is the police so everybody knows the police is in the area when they say 5-0
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so uh upon them saying that the white male and the white female after they'd parked they backed up and
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left the area anyway we called up to them and they said the reason that they were in the areas they didn't know the
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area and that she had just got off of the expressway and she was lost so i said was that the reason you parked in the
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project because you were lost and she was like she didn't have an excuse for that but
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the reason she was in the area in the first place was she was lost coming up a bafflingly dumb counterfeit
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case on america's dumbest criminals [Music] now inside the courtroom for trial
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and error in an interesting case a prosecutor is about to provide an interesting piece of
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evidence to get his conviction your honor while my client is suspected in numerous
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thefts in town there's very little evidence to support these charges your honor i beg to differ
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with my colleague my house was broken into recently and it so happens that jacket he's wearing is
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mine [Music] it used to be against the law to travel on the streets of brewton alabama in a
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motor boat which of course forced all the bass fishermen to the air once in a while when stopped by the
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police we open our mouths and we say the right thing and somehow managed to talk
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our way out of a ticket well you're about to meet a guy who said all the wrong things and talked himself
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right into jail well i was still a young jailer a highway patrol officer brought in a
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fella he'd stopped him on a minor traffic violation tail light out or or something of the
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sort since the man would not sign the citation the officer was forced to take him into custody
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and when they got to the jail he still pleaded with the man to sign the citation so that he could so the trooper
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could go on home at the end of the shift if you don't sign the ticket i'm going
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gonna have to go outside and tow your car and inventory your car well if you didn't have to be super cop this
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wouldn't have happened so go out there take care of this guy i don't care
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we'll all sleep so the trooper left and um as i booked the man in he said when can
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i make bail i said well just as soon as you can get somebody here and he said where are my car keys
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we give them to the trooper why'd you give them to the trooper when he told your vehicle
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we do a complete inventory of the car the whole car yes sir the whole car when the trooper came in again a half
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hour later he was smiling when he opened the trunk to do the inventory he ran across the burglary
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tools and the cocaine man could this day get any worse well we also have a felony warrant for your
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arrest in georgia can you believe that guy all he had to do was sign the ticket he just opened
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his mouth to switch feet and now the great finale of dumb criminals on ice [Music]
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counterfeiting is a difficult crime to pull off that's why this dumb criminal
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didn't i was in the office and one of our uniformed officers gave me a call from on the field and he says we have
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this guy at the 7-eleven store that was detained for trying to cash a bill that had been altered it's a common practice
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of taking a corner off of a 100 and then placing that on the end of a one and then
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i take another 100 and and cutting off the corner of that 100 and placed it on the other side well
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this guy cut off part of a one and put it on the end of a 20 and was trying to pass it as one dollar bill and get
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changed he had the thing reversed he was losing money not gaining money can i get my change
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so my team was so dumb i told the cause just take the money impound it and kick them loose
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the man got shortchanged on brain [Music] and now sean chadwick of wilton manor's
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florida tells us about the dumb criminal dating game we have this guy around here this this
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is quick and you kind of had to be there but this is hysterical this guy uh he's
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he's not he's not all there and um he's really pretty harmless and you see
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him all the time and he always acts like he's like a spy or or fbi or cia or
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something and we got a call one day that a guy was walking down the road with a mask
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fully down to his neck i mean his head was totally covered so that's you know
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you get a little suspicious over stuff like that especially being a cop so so we drive over there and around the
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corner walks this guy with a a paper bag over his head with two little eyes cut out you know and just from seeing him
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walk i knew exactly who it was you know and i'm like why is he doing that you know
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now you got to understand this is not the most attractive individual in the world to begin with
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and so he comes walking up and i said i said joey i said why do you have a bag over your head he goes
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trying to get a date [Music] as always our thanks to the men and women of law enforcement and to you for
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watching but hey people play it smart don't break the law or we'll catch you
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next week on america's dumbest criminals i'm daniel butler god bless [Music]
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so [Music] [Applause] [Music] you