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this is an adc warning the crimes you're about to see are true only the names
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were changed to protect the ignorant [Music] do [Music] tonight you'll see the little old lady
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from pasadena tell her secret you'll also go inside a dumb criminal with x-ray footage and the purse snatchers
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who don't get the picture all this and more on america's dumbest criminal
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[Music] welcome to america's dumbest criminals i'm daniel butler the old saying
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wherever you go there you are applies even more to persons of below average intelligence who are engaged in criminal
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activity keeping that in mind join us as we open the files on america's dumbest criminals
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first up a routine traffic stop gets drug through the mud another officer had stopped this vehicle
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took the driver to jail for dui well me and this other officer we're waiting around for
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a friend of this females to come pick her up to take her home i looked at the female and there was another
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officer standing beside her she bent down and she was picky picking up a plastic baggie from the
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cuffs of her pants leg and she came up and put it in between her breasts and me another officer looked at each
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other and asked each other did you see that yeah i saw that i could notice that she started getting real fidgety well
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about that time this girl takes off running so as i start past that officer when he's running i mean i was laughing
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the whole time i mean i just knew she had nowhere to go so i had planned to tackle her as we hit the edge of the
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roadway on the other side well there was a big old ditch there and i mean she as she
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get that debt she lost her balance and i mean just like a 747 with no wheels just plowed into
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that grass and as we stood her up there's several baggies of marijuana right there on the ground
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so i need to say she went to jail for that abc quiz number 296 a teenage bank robber in los angeles attempted to
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divert attention from her face by wearing something what did she wear was it a groucho glasses
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b rabbit ears or c a see-through blouse with no bra the correct answer is c but we feel like
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any article of see-through clothing would have done next up annetta nunn helps us slip into
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something more comfortable i was working in the jail and had to search her you know somebody brought in
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from the outside and you kind of get in the routine sometimes or searching people she was an older lady not like
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one of the young ones running the streets and i ran my hand up and said maybe i felt something i ran my
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hand back up the leg and like tapped and hitting the handle of it you're gonna
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say man is there a gun in there yes there is young lady but don't tell anybody
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yeah but don't tell anybody you know it was fully loaded well it's just for protection
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protection well everybody's packing heat nowadays including brownie [Music] now actual hidden surveillance cam video
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of a drug deal going down you know every time an undercover narcotics officer does a video of a drug
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deal he sort of feels like a hollywood director so now let's look at the making
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of dumb dope deal starring dumb doper directed by undercover cop okay cue the officer action
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good people all right let's get the deal going don't look at the camera let's see
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the drugs quickly please gosh what is this towel where did you get this talon look if you gotta scratch
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your butt move to the side thank you like guys can we speed it up huh can we just pick up the pace no no no all right
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all right slow it down or split the difference get him out oh my god what is that the
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continental divide what's he doing look at his hands and the size of tractors
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he's right in front of the camera someone moved the big guy can can somebody get the big guy out of the
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camera thank you thank you finally all right can we take it again people from the top take two
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[Music] allison doula recalls an unexpected encounter with a back door man two of
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the fugitive deputies were trying to get this guy out of the house so one deputy's at the front door
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knocking on the door and of course the other two walk around the back door and they're
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hiding and that guy's front door is still knocking on it right all of a sudden
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they see the guy they're looking for backing up out the back door he's tippy-toeing back
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he runs into the two deputies in the back somebody's at the front door man but sir
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i think it's for you hey hey hey what are you doing here how'd you get around here so fast hey
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hey what are you doing hey if you're waiting for this guy you're backing up
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later on tonight's show the impossibly true story of the motorist who was running on empty if you're a police
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officer active or retired and you have stories of the dumb criminal in action please contact us at america's dumbest
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criminals post office box 1628 franklin tennessee 37065 you can also reach us on the internet
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and we do compensate officers for their stories [Music] burglars burgle bungler's bungle when
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you mix the two you get a despicable hybrid known as the bungling burglar they will take anything that's not
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nailed down or spend hours trying to lift what is nailed down retired officer david hunter recounts a
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case called me and bobby mcgeek bob has been in and out of jails or had been in and out of jails when i first met him
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for for most of his life so i left the jail hadn't seen him for maybe two years
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one sunday afternoon i was backed into a driveway running radar a rattle trap vehicle came down the road
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with wires dragging no tags on it whipped into the driveway beside me and i could look directly into the vehicle
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it was bob from yard sale and he had the whole car full of speakers from the drive-in movie they
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still had the the name of the driving theater stamp speakers you've been to the drive-in lately
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yeah went to the drive-in today and uh pulled away pulled the dirt thing right out by the
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wire i'm terribly sorry when you go about nine and two times uh it was a it was a double feature
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what did you see well that creature fish you know that swamp thing comes out of the swamp eats them cars and then it had
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the lizard from nowhere that attacked everywhere so i got out of the car took him into
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custody for burglary this guy had a highly in washington dc it used to be against
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the law for a taxi driver to be messy the law was enacted after one driver ate watermelon causing the passenger to wear
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these goggles and now from david shepler in tampa a case we call touchstone david was called in to handle a series
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of thefts at a major high school now alicia we have you at the scene of the crime i know that money and the
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pager were in this locker and your best friend said that she saw you taking this
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money figures i didn't take the money i was nowhere close to there i've never
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okay okay got the money i didn't take the pager i want you to place a phone call okay
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i don't need to make a phone call take the receiver take the receiver and dial 71642
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nine five and tell me what you hear it's raining yes and then it baked there was no
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answer and that's all that's it alicia you gave me the money i think it's time you gave me the page here
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alicia be smart on this now give me the pager now alicia you owe me this pager our first high school member of the
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witness protection program now we take you inside the courtroom for trial and error
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from actual courtroom transcripts an officer tells of some trunked up charges officer you arrested the defendant
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immediately after he robbed the deli is that true yes ma'am and were you in the area of the robbery
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call no ma'am i was not could you tell us then officer how is it that you caught
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the alleged criminals so quickly uh well ma'am when he exited the delhi he fled across the parking lot
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and he hid in the trunk of my undercover car [Music] coming up later two brainless wonders
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who are still waiting for something to develop [Music] this week on america's dumbest criminals
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you'll hear the little old lady from pasadena tell her secret x-ray footage inside a dumb criminal and
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the first snatchers who don't get the picture all dumb all the time america's dumbest criminal
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[Music] [Music] next up terry osborne of pensacola chases a guy off the beaten path i was
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working patrol in a marked unit downtown and this guy calls a victim caller dispatchers and says somebody just stole
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my car and gave us a description of the car and about a few minutes later one of
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our other officers sees the car getting on the interstate so we get it behind the car
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and the car chases on i mean this guy is really getting it up the interstate and
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he turns west going towards uh alabama so we got the city cars involved the county deputies they join us then the
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highway patrol they join in so we got deputies and highway patrol and city please chasing this stolen car towards
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alabama we're calling alabama and say look out here we come trooper got up went up there just as he
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crossed in alabama he stops the guy and it turned out he was one of our local rhinos
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we place him under arrest and we say uh why did you steal the car and he says officer downtown told me i
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had 10 minutes to get off his block so he was doing what that officer told him to do was get off his beat
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we got a new block for you bobby this one's gonna sell [Music] [Applause] in colorado it used to be against the
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law for a pet owner to lose a pet to avoid prosecution here captain steuben searches frantically for free willie
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and now actual x-ray footage of a dumb criminal with a big mouth this case began when a dumb criminal
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came into a jewelry store and began to look at diamond rings while the clerk was talking to another customer the dumb
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criminal pocketed the diamond ring when the police arrived he swallowed the diamond
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of course it was only a matter of time before nature and the rain took its course and the stolen merchandise was
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returned [Music] next up jerry mackintosh tells us about a dumb criminal who was definitely
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running on empty and i saw a car one morning and when i passed by the car it was
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summertime and this guy's riding with his windows down and i'm riding my windows down and i nod
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at him it's like four o'clock in the morning as we're sitting there red light
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and i got the unmistakable wheel for marijuana so when he pulls off when i pull off he turns right from the red
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light well there's my problem because he didn't give a turn signal so i got a
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right to stop him legally so i stopped it go up there get him out you know and i said can i see your
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driver's license he gives me his license pitcher on it address three blocks away
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some reason it stopped you she will fail to stop at this red light back here okay
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would you mind if i take a look and i said do you mind if i search your car i guess that's all right it's okay okay
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great thanks would you mind just standing right here for me thank you i'll be right away
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and he took off running and i started to take off running and so i said wait i've got his license
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i've got his car i know where he lives i know what he looks like about five or ten minutes later he came
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up he said i got a block away and i thought he's got my license he's got my
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car he's got my pictures and i said i'm a lot quicker than you you got a half a
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block away and i yeah realized hey but at least he realized what he had done was pretty dumb
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[Music] oh [Music] a car thief gets away a certain percentage of the time but the big clock
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is always ticking counting off the seconds until he becomes suddenly stupid and now a half-baked criminal who
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obviously liked twice baked potatoes a guy had stolen a car and abandoned the vehicle this guy came by and realized he
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was looking at a stolen car so he figured he could steal it because he couldn't be arrested for it because it
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was already stolen by somebody else look i didn't steal that car oh really no i mean
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well maybe just a little okay a body steal it from somebody oh yeah i just powered it that guy
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he was the thief told me i couldn't take him to jail i didn't do it man i couldn't arrest him
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for being in the stolen car because the car that he stole had already been stolen by somebody
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else yeah [Music] in north carolina it used to be against the law for airplanes to fly over towns
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it was also against the law to flush the toilet unless the port-a-plane was right
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under you join us now as we visit the cavernous recesses of the criminal mind and
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picture this aaron graham of the louisville police department told us about a crime with a
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photo finish when a woman had her camera bag stolen in a louisville kentucky park
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an officer was nearby and responded quickly following the thieves trail the officer
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came upon two discarded instant photos which had not finished their developing process yet within moments they did and
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the criminals appeared right before his eyes meanwhile our two photogenic felons became
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convinced the camera was broken didn't work either hey let me get you man come on all right
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see some hands boys right now on the ground now get on the ground now we're down i knew this was a
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terrible idea these are two dark criminals who were definitely over exposed now sam gillier tells us about a room
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full of dumb criminals who gamble with their lives to understand las vegas a good example would be is during the
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hilton fire some years back there were several floors that were engulfed in flames at the hilton and in
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fact you know there was a lot of loss of life as a result of that well when the fire broke out it was in
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the upper stories and the casino downstairs was packed full of people and they came on to the uh speaker you
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know per the fire department this hotel needs to be evacuated now so they came on and they very calmly uh
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came with the loudspeaker over the casino everybody in the casino uh we do have a problem upstairs there is a major
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fire there's no reason to panic but we need you to exit the casino immediately
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pause nobody moves everybody just continues playing cards they continue with the
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poker machines nobody moves they come on again ladies and gentlemen please we need you
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to exit the casino now few people start filtering out everybody still keeps playing a few minutes later
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finally they came on and said this is the last hand you have to leave now and finally and then the dealers just
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shut everything down and finally everybody got up and left well we're out of time again we'd like
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to thank the men and women of law enforcement for their stories and for the outstanding job they do protecting
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and serving the public i'm daniel butler saying don't be dumb don't break the law
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or we'll see you next time on america's dumbest criminals [Music] [Applause]
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[Music] uh [Music] so [Music] so [Music] you