00:00:04
[music playing] What would you do if
you found the person you married loved someone else?
00:00:14
I hope it's not the
same as this guy. Thomas said, if
I can't have her, no one will, and he killed her.
00:00:23
No one can have Lisa now because
Thomas pulled that trigger. MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG: A
proud serving US Navy man is
00:00:30
forced to face a violent truth. His father has
killed his mother. He is now part of the
collateral damage.
00:00:38
Dad did what he did. Mom did what she did. They both did bad things. But I can't really say I
love one more than the other,
00:00:47
even after everything happened. You just can't take sides. Half of women murdered are
killed by their partners.
00:00:55
This is "Meet Mary Murder." [theme music] MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG: A cute
street in Shelton, Connecticut.
00:01:18
In a picture book house,
mom dad and four kids. Pretty dreamy, right? Wrong. CAROLYN CANVILLE: One of
them hears the dog scratching
00:01:30
at his mom's bedroom door. BRIAN HARRIS: Scratch,
scratch, scratch. Someone wants to find
out what's going on.
00:01:38
So when he walks down
the hall to the master bedroom and he opens the door-- 'Cause why does their
dog want inside so badly.
00:01:49
CAROLYN CANVILLE:
And what he sees is his mom lying on
the bed, face down, blood coming out of
the back of her head.
00:01:56
She's been shot once in
the head, and she's dead. BRIAN HARRIS: A frantic
911 call was made.
00:02:04
It's that of a
teenager reporting that he went into
his mom's bedroom and he found his mom dead.
00:02:12
Panicked, and so
the police respond. MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG:
Next to get a call is big brother, Vinnie.
00:02:19
VINNIE INFANTE: I
couldn't find my keys, jumped in my fiance's car. I think I had shoes on but
rushed over to my house.
00:02:29
And the whole street was lined
with neighbors and police and friends of the family.
00:02:36
MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG:
Imagine this. The family dog going crazy
from the smell of blood.
00:02:42
So what is happening here? Why is Lisa Infante
lying dead on her bed? What's the story of
Lisa and Tom Infante?
00:02:55
Lisa Anne Swanson and
Thomas J Infante Jr. got married on June 25, 1988. It was in Monroe, Connecticut,
a nice neighborhood.
00:03:05
They were 25. The guests walking
into church that day didn't have to worry about which
side of the aisle to sit on.
00:03:12
Everybody at the wedding knew
pretty much everyone else. VINNIE INFANTE: They
met when they were kids.
00:03:18
They grew up together. They were almost like
super close friends. MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG: As
teenagers, Tom and Lisa
00:03:25
lived just four houses
away from each other on the Monroe Turnpike. They went to high
school together,
00:03:32
again, in the same
neighborhood where they live. And they both graduated
in the class of 1980.
00:03:39
Wow, talk about your textbook
high school sweethearts. I like these guys. VINNIE INFANTE: I
know my uncle Rich
00:03:50
and my dad were really close. And same with my
aunt and my dad. Everyone is just like--
00:03:58
We were all a
pretty close family. MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG: Three
years into their marriage baby
00:04:04
Vincent comes along. Then Harrison, Matt, and Kayla. A big family, right? Everyone can see that Tom and
Lisa really loved their kids.
00:04:16
They were animal lovers, too. There were always cats
and dogs in the house. It's a happy busy family home.
00:04:25
CAROLYN CANVILLE: Lisa
and Thomas had four kids. They had one daughter
and three sons.
00:04:31
The daughter was especially
close to the father. VINNIE INFANTE: He was
just a typical dad,
00:04:37
emotional at times. He acted pretty emotional. He would cry over songs. And we had these
little chihuahuas.
00:04:45
He would love them,
loved to hold them. He was very just an
emotional guy, sensitive.
00:04:54
MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG: A
softy with the dogs maybe, but not when it comes
to raising his kids.
00:05:00
Tom and Lisa were
very different. VINNIE INFANTE: My mom was
usually pretty laid back.
00:05:05
She was into yoga and
never really hard going. Dad was kind of more
strict about things.
00:05:15
Like no you can't do that. No, you can't do
that kind of thing. CAROLYN CANVILLE: She
was loving and giving
00:05:21
and you could kind of tell
that in her profession. She was a nutritionist
also a yoga instructor.
00:05:26
But she also volunteered her
time as an EMS technician, emergency medical services.
00:05:32
So you could see the kind
of personality she was and what she chose
to do with her life.
00:05:37
VINNIE INFANTE: She
was an EMT, so she really cared about people,
cared about their well-being.
00:05:43
MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG: In
2010, Lisa gets into yoga and qualifies as an instructor.
00:05:48
She quits her job and
starts teaching full time. She's into something
called Holy Fit,
00:05:55
which combines Christian
devotion with exercise. And I have to say, it suits
her personality to a T.
00:06:04
VINNIE INFANTE: She
helped out the community, helped out people. She was awesome.
00:06:11
Me and her got
along really well. We would do yoga together. She's a very caring,
very compassionate,
00:06:19
really loved us
kids, great cook. We'd always come home and she'd
have something waiting for us,
00:06:28
like brownies or
cookies or something. MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG: Thomas,
he becomes an equipment
00:06:34
operator for the
public works department one town over in Trumbull,
not sexy but study.
00:06:40
VINNIE INFANTE: He kept
doing what he liked. He was a great guy to be around. Funny.
00:06:47
Like tell jokes. Good sense of humor. And then we would always
hang out with dad,
00:06:51
like go out on
car trips, go pick up a new tractor or something. So dad would always
bring home stuff for me
00:07:01
and my brother to
work on and play with, like big toys kind of thing. MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG: And he
and his brothers and sisters
00:07:08
have a happy childhood. But they could
hardly miss the fact that their mom and dad don't see
eye to eye a lot of the time.
00:07:15
CAROLYN CANVILLE: All four
of the kids, it's clear, had witnessed a lot of
angst in this marriage.
00:07:20
There was a lot of fighting
going on from the time they were little because
it pretty much
00:07:24
spanned their whole lifetime. VINNIE INFANTE: I mean, their
personalities grew apart.
00:07:30
I think they kind of
settled for each other because they were friends,
they were neighbors.
00:07:34
But that never gave
them the opportunity to grow as a person,
individually, and experience
00:07:42
those breakups and
other people, which every healthy relationship
and person kind of needs
00:07:48
to go through, I think. MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG:
So things are often difficult in that big
Connecticut house.
00:07:55
I'm sensing tension. CAROLYN CANVILLE: Thomas
was a dark, angry. He had a quick
temper, and he was
00:08:03
known to sometimes get violent
when he had his outbursts. VINNIE INFANTE: It
was like bickering,
00:08:10
just like little stuff. Like I felt it was
just stupid stuff they would always fight about.
00:08:15
But I guess that all build
up, build up, build up, and just turned
into something big.
00:08:19
CAROLYN CANVILLE:
You know, they don't talk about physical abuse. They don't talk about beatings.
00:08:24
They talk about
hurting each other. My parents always were fighting. They were always
abusing each other.
00:08:31
They there was a lot
of pain on both sides is what the daughter
said later in court.
00:08:37
MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG:
I want to know if there is any red flags here. Karen Jarmoc from the Coalition
Against Domestic Violence
00:08:44
knows this stuff,
and she doesn't like what she's hearing. KAREN JARMOC: It's the
threats, the harassment,
00:08:51
isolating someone
from their family, friends, coworkers,
using coercion and control to try to really
take control over your partner.
00:09:02
So many people think
domestic violence and they think of a black
eye or a broken limb.
00:09:10
And it can be that,
but, generally, it's just much more subliminal. BRIAN HARRIS: She had posted
on her own social media
00:09:20
about how abusive, mentally,
her husband could be. KAREN JARMOC: It's that
very under the surface
00:09:30
stuff that may or may
not have been occurring in this relationship
around the subliminal power
00:09:36
and control the person's
trying to have over the other. And when they start
to lose that it can
00:09:41
become very, very dangerous. CAROLYN CANVILLE:
Lisa and Thomas have been married for 27 years.
00:09:49
You think, wow, they've
weathered a lot. But this was not a good
marriage and apparently
00:09:53
not from the get go. It was filled with, you
know, fighting and abuse, verbal, perhaps physical.
00:10:01
Everybody said that
this from the very start had its problems, but
they stuck together.
00:10:06
MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG: I've
heard this story before. Lisa and Thomas Infante try to
make it work for years, being
00:10:12
the best parents they can be. Staying together for
the kids because they have so much history together.
00:10:18
And then that doesn't
seem so important. BRIAN HARRIS: She
decided it was over. She was going to take
charge of her life.
00:10:26
CAROLYN CANVILLE: She
was ready to move on. BRIAN HARRIS: It's the
most dangerous time
00:10:31
for any female when
they've finally made the decision to leave. [music playing] MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG:
Tom and Lisa
00:10:58
stick it out for 27
years of marriage, raising four great kids. Admirable, but in 2015,
tensions are out in the open.
00:11:08
VINNIE INFANTE: I
know they were seeing a couples therapist, which
I don't think helped at all.
00:11:15
I think it made things
worse, honestly. CAROLYN CANVILLE: Lisa's
sister, Lynn Everlilthe,
00:11:22
was never a big fan
of Thomas Infante. She really didn't want them
to get married to begin with.
00:11:28
She said, their
marriage had been strained right from the get go. She said, those
children had been raised
00:11:33
in a really toxic environment. And she says that he was just a
miserable person to be around.
00:11:39
He was never pleasant
to be around. VINNIE INFANTE: I think mom
was more of a gradual change.
00:11:46
You can kind of see her veering
away throughout the years. Dad always tried to
do the best he could.
00:11:55
But, I mean, their
personalities grew apart. MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG:
Life is beating
00:12:02
Lisa and Tom up in other ways. In the last two years,
Tom's dad had died. Then both of Lisa's
parents had passed to.
00:12:11
Then this bombshell from Lisa. She told her husband
that she had met someone. She told her that
she wanted a divorce.
00:12:20
And according to her,
she told her friends, apparently, that she had already
hired a divorce attorney.
00:12:28
And she was ready, and she
was starting to make plans. VINNIE INFANTE: But
at a certain point,
00:12:32
he just was like
mom's cheating on me. And it kind of threw me
back because they've been,
00:12:40
my parents, together for the
whole 20 years of my life. And she was over hanging out
with this guy making dinner
00:12:48
for his kids, and it was just-- I'm like just why
would you do that, mom? You got a great family.
00:12:57
You have a great house. I mean, I guess
she wasn't happy. She went up to me when
she was talking about it.
00:13:03
She was like don't
want me to be happy? And that kind of
threw me for a loop because I didn't know how
to answer that question.
00:13:07
I'm like of course I want
you to be happy, mom. MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG:
Lisa makes up her mind.
00:13:14
She's doing this,
but Tom just isn't coming to terms with the fact
that his marriage is over.
00:13:20
VINNIE INFANTE: I was
pretty close to him. So I got to see the
good, bad, and ugly.
00:13:24
So I know when I was down
in Florida with the Navy he would call me up
and he would just be
00:13:30
crying his eyes out about mom. And no kid wants to
hear their dad cry. You could just see
dad deteriorating.
00:13:40
He was just depressed. He would just call me upset
in weird times of the night. And then once I got
home from the Navy
00:13:51
after a long nine
months of being away, you'd think you want to
hang out with your kid.
00:13:55
He didn't even want to do that. I tried to get him
up, try to bring him to county fairs or something.
00:14:01
And he just would
not get out of bed. He was like a blob. And I thought it was just
going to be the sissy
00:14:07
about the whole thing. And I really did not know what
was going through his head.
00:14:12
CAROLYN CANVILLE: Thomas,
he still loved his wife. He may have been a
mean and angry guy.
00:14:18
He may have abused her. But he still considered
this is my wife. She belongs to me, and no
one else should have her.
00:14:26
He didn't necessarily
voice that to her. He would talk to her about
let's not get divorced.
00:14:31
He would kind of plead with her. But she had made up her mind. VINNIE INFANTE: Dad didn't
really have that personality
00:14:36
where he would actually
go out and talk to a therapist or something. I think he went to
a doctor and they
00:14:41
gave him some antidepressants. Who knows if those
are good for him. Probably not.
00:14:46
He was never the kind of guy
who would actually take pills. He wouldn't even take
aspirin for a headache.
00:14:50
MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG:
Karen Jarmoc, the campaigner against domestic
violence, is worried
00:14:55
about what she's hearing,
telling Tom he is history. That's bad territory
Lisa is entering.
00:15:01
KAREN JARMOC: That's a really,
really critical dangerous time because then they start
losing their control
00:15:07
and things begin to unravel. So we always know,
and that's, I think, what's so tragic and sad, when
a domestic violence homicide
00:15:15
occurs because there are always
these red flags that aren't always as noticeable
to the victim
00:15:24
and/or to those
individuals around them. But when we look back
we see them there.
00:15:31
BRIAN HARRIS: 38% of the
time when women are murdered, they're murdered by their
spouse or loved one,
00:15:38
compared to only 6% of men. Oftentimes as
police officers, we say why don't they just leave.
00:15:45
Well, out of those 38% of women
who get murdered, nearly 68% of those women are
murdered when they finally
00:15:53
made the decision to leave. And this was the same case
in Shelton, Connecticut. She decided it was over.
00:16:03
She was going to take
charge of her life. It's the most dangerous time for
any female or any relationship.
00:16:11
CAROLYN CANVILLE: So
she's moving on, he's not. So you can see that in
his mind he's thinking,
00:16:18
I'm not ready for her to
move on, she's ready for her to move on. I don't want anyone to have her.
00:16:23
So what is he going to do? MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG:
Does Lisa Infante have any idea that she's in danger?
00:16:29
CAROLYN CANVILLE: Lisa
had a Facebook account. And on her Facebook
page, you could often
00:16:32
see she was one of
those people that loved those motivational sayings. You know, if opportunity
doesn't knock, build a door,
00:16:39
happiness is your birthright. She liked that kind of stuff. And usually it was positive.
00:16:43
But there was this
one post that she made that really got
people's attention because it
00:16:49
really wasn't like her. And she's posting about
giving people a second chance. And she's warning against it.
00:16:56
BRIAN HARRIS: If you give
a person a second chance, it's like giving them another
bullet to put in the gun.
00:17:03
MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG:
We don't know if Lisa is scared of Thomas at this point. We do know she's counting
down the days until she can
00:17:10
start over with this new guy. CAROLYN CANVILLE:
She's making plans. She is arranging
her bank account.
00:17:16
She's becoming
financially independent. And she's also-- she's
a yoga instructor.
00:17:21
And she's also kind of stepping
up her own routine because she wants to get in shape
for this new life
00:17:26
she's planning and
this new person that she plans to be with. MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG:
Vinnie comes home
00:17:32
from the Navy on leave in 2015. He hardly recognizes what
his family has become.
00:17:39
VINNIE INFANTE:
Mom was never home. She was either always working
or working seeing this guy.
00:17:46
And then dad was
just so depressed he didn't want to do anything,
didn't want to hang out with
00:17:50
us. And then I just
remember getting angry at her for never being around. Because I'm like, mom,
I haven't seen you
00:17:57
in months, almost a year,
and you're just not here. I miss you. It was rough because they
were doing their own thing.
00:18:08
And I just wanted
some family time. MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG: Do the
Infante kids suspect that dad's
00:18:14
going to become murderous? VINNIE INFANTE: Knowing
him for the first 20 years of my life, 20
plus years of my life,
00:18:20
he was not like that. He wouldn't even
go hunting with me. He would get too sensitive.
00:18:25
He was, Oh I don't
want to kill any deers. I don't want to kill Bambi. So he was just a sensitive guy.
00:18:31
It's just not
something he would do. But I guess you put so much on
someone and anyone can break.
00:18:41
[music playing] MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG:
It's September 27, 2015, and the peace and quiet
of Shelton, Connecticut
00:19:03
is interrupted by a single
gunshot inside a family home. VINNIE INFANTE: Way
sometime in the evening,
00:19:14
I get a call from
my little brother, which is unusual because
Matty usually never calls me.
00:19:21
And I pick up, and he's like,
Vinnie, you gotta come home. Mom's dead. BRIAN HARRIS: But in that
moment, where's the husband?
00:19:29
Where's the father
of the children? He has fled. He has grabbed alcohol. He has grabbed
medication, and he's gone.
00:19:40
MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG: What is
going on with everyone here? The younger kids are
at home, but Vinnie
00:19:45
is in a celebration mode. The night before was a big one. VINNIE INFANTE: It was my
fiance's birthday party.
00:19:52
My parents came, first time
that my parents met her parents. I stayed over her house that
night, hung out with her
00:19:59
the whole day because
it was her birthday. CAROLYN CANVILLE: So
Thomas is at work.
00:20:06
Lisa puts the kids to bed. She gets dinner on. She feeds the kids. She kisses them goodnight,
puts them to bed.
00:20:12
She goes to her own bedroom. BRIAN HARRIS: Not much
unlike many other homes across the United States.
00:20:20
You have a wife in
her master bedroom. Her children, whether they're
on their phones, watching TV.
00:20:28
It's life. MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG:
Yes, it's life. But it's about to be over
for one member of the family.
00:20:36
A couple of hours later,
Lisa is found dead in the bed she once shared
with her husband.
00:20:42
CAROLYN CANVILLE:
It's hard to believe. Could she have done
this to herself? BRIAN HARRIS: So
what has happened?
00:20:48
It tells a story. When you look at the
body positioning. The way the body is
twisted on that bed.
00:20:56
The door to the
master bedroom opens. The victim sees who their
assailant is, probably
00:21:03
knows who their assailant is. CAROLYN CANVILLE: He's made sure
he has ammunition for his gun.
00:21:08
He has mapped out
an escape route. BRIAN HARRIS: She knows that
whoever came into this room
00:21:14
is coming with a purpose. And it wasn't long. It was fast. It was quick. It was efficient.
00:21:21
And so she turns and
that is why she's shot in the back of her head. MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG:
Thomas Infante
00:21:30
shoots Lisa, his
wife of 27 years, and leaves her for
the kids to find. VINNIE INFANTE: It
was definitely hard.
00:21:39
I know my siblings had
totally different experiences. I know Harrison and
Matt actually found her.
00:21:48
I'm not sure if Kayla
had witnessed it. I hope not. I know I didn't. It was probably for the best.
00:21:58
I don't know if I can handle
seeing my mother that way. CAROLYN CANVILLE: Once Thomas
kills her, once he shoots her
00:22:10
and he knows she's
dead, he leaves. He grabs some pills. He grabs some alcohol. He takes off and
he hits the road.
00:22:20
VINNIE INFANTE: The whole
day is kind of a blur because it was just
totally life changing.
00:22:26
And instantaneously, I
didn't have my mother. I had no clue of what
happened to my father.
00:22:33
And I can only go on
assumptions at that point. BRIAN HARRIS: This small
town, this kind of crime
00:22:40
doesn't happen in
Shelton, Connecticut. But that peace and
quiet who sat 911 one
00:22:47
call of a son discovering
the body of his own mother. VINNIE INFANTE: I did
not believe it at all.
00:22:55
I thought if anything
she committed suicide. Because I know she was
going through a lot, a lot,
00:23:01
like between her
boyfriend and the divorce. MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG: The cops
arrive and try to make sense
00:23:08
of what's happened and fast. Homicide is familiar
territory for Brian Harris. What is a detective
looking for right now?
00:23:16
BRIAN HARRIS: One of
the things as a homicide detective you're looking
for is this a staged event.
00:23:22
Is it an organized scene
versus disorganized? Was there a sign of a struggle? Was there a fight?
00:23:30
Are there pieces of
furniture knocked over? What is happening? MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG:
One thing is pretty clear,
00:23:37
Lisa's husband is
nowhere to be seen. VINNIE INFANTE: I mean, I had
no clue what was going on.
00:23:42
I tried calling my dad
like a million times, could not get him on the phone. BRIAN HARRIS: The detectives,
they want to find Thomas.
00:23:49
He's clearly a
person of interest. They need to find out. Where is he? Through all of this where is he?
00:23:58
CAROLYN CANVILLE: Turns out,
Thomas had hit the road. They track his cell phone
and they see that he
00:24:04
is already in Pennsylvania. And then all of a sudden,
the phone goes dead. Somebody turned it off
or the battery died.
00:24:12
MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG:
The cops get searching for Thomas Infante. Back at the house, it
doesn't take detectives
00:24:17
long to figure things out. BRIAN HARRIS: This crime
scene, like many others, the evidence that is left behind
is part of a bigger story.
00:24:29
So there is a shell
casing, a .380 shell casing, that is left behind. They didn't have time to look
for that .380 shell casings.
00:24:37
Because when shell casings
get injected, they bounce. They move. Oftentimes, that position
of that shell casing
00:24:47
doesn't necessarily reflect
where that person was standing. MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG: The
two children in the house
00:24:54
are questioned. It looks more and more like the
killer is someone the family knows well, very well.
00:25:01
BRIAN HARRIS: This killer did
not spend time in this room. There were no
drawers gone through.
00:25:08
This wasn't a robbery. It was a single shot. The children aren't startled
by any strangers in the home.
00:25:16
Whoever did this the
children felt comfortable with their presence. Whoever did this it
was a personal attack.
00:25:23
And once they did it, they knew
they had to get out of there. VINNIE INFANTE: The whole
family was distraught.
00:25:31
Nobody really knew
what was going on. Nobody knew where dad was. I think after a while we
kind of like figured it out.
00:25:43
At first, I can only-- I thought it was like-- I don't know like-- her boyfriend did it.
00:25:50
Because I couldn't think
that dad would do it. MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG: The
priority for police right now
00:25:55
has to be tracking down Thomas. He is the prime
suspect in the murder. Who knows what he might do next.
00:26:02
They track his
phone signal again. BRIAN HARRIS: And what
they're able to do then
00:26:06
is track that cell phone. And they're following the
signal for that cell phone. Where is it?
00:26:14
It's like a homing
device, a GPS. And where do they find
him, but, hundreds, literally hundreds of miles
away at the Pennsylvania,
00:26:24
Ohio border. While the police are
tracking this phone, and they're seeing it. It's in Pennsylvania
200 miles away.
00:26:33
They lose the signal. Perhaps, the battery's dead or
did this person turn it off.
00:26:39
Did they have the mindset,
I need to turn my phone off because they can
find me that way.
00:26:44
They've watched enough TV to
know that that can be done. CAROLYN CANVILLE: He's
almost to the Ohio State line
00:26:51
and he realizes, oh gosh, I
got to tell them what I did. BRIAN HARRIS: And lo and
behold at the Shelton Police
00:27:02
Department who walks
through their front doors, but Thomas, Thomas himself. Wearing the same t-shirt with
the blood on it, walks in turns
00:27:12
himself into the police. CAROLYN CANVILLE:
When he shows up there he's still wearing the
same t-shirt he was wearing.
00:27:19
It's soaked with
his wife's blood. BRIAN HARRIS: That's how close. That's personal.
00:27:25
He didn't just
stand at the doorway and fire from a distance. As his wife went
to get out of bed,
00:27:32
he's not just slowly walking. He's marching towards her,
gun pointed straight at her.
00:27:39
And she twists and turns and he
puts that gun right up on her. So close that when
he pulls the trigger
00:27:49
that there is blood that
spatters up back on to him. It's that close and personal.
00:27:57
MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG:
Thomas turns himself in. But he's not ready just yet to
admit to this horrible crime.
00:28:04
CAROLYN CANVILLE: He was kind of
operating in this fugue state. So when he hits the road and
he finally blacks out and comes
00:28:12
to that's when he
realizes he needs to tell police what he did. And that's when he shows
up at the police station.
00:28:20
BRIAN HARRIS: He's not ready
to take responsibility. You see, he thought he was
man enough to do what he did.
00:28:27
But he wasn't man enough to
accept the responsibility for his actions. So what does he do?
00:28:33
He blames it on medicine,
alcohol, he blacked out, remembers going to the
house but after that,
00:28:42
it's almost as if it's
an outer body experience. He has no recollection
of what took place.
00:28:50
MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG:
Lisa is dead. Her husband is in custody
charged with her murder.
00:28:56
It should be a slam dunk case. But Thomas confesses to nothing. CAROLYN CANVILLE: He
says he had some pills.
00:29:03
He had some booze. And at some point,
he just blacked out. He basically says he
didn't really know
00:29:10
what he was doing that night. He really didn't know
what was going on. VINNIE INFANTE:
And something snaps
00:29:16
and short circuited his mind. Everything kind of just
build up, build up, build up,
00:29:22
and at a certain
point, just cracked. [music playing] MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG: Lisa
Infante, mother of four, dead.
00:29:48
Two days later, Thomas, the
man she was trying to leave, appears in court charged
with first degree murder.
00:29:55
Detectives say Tom's
already told them he shot her during an argument. But in court, he's
admitting nothing.
00:30:03
After nearly three years in
the Northern Correctional Institute in
Somers, Connecticut,
00:30:09
his trial date comes around. CAROLYN CANVILLE: So Thomas
has plead not guilty. And his trial is about to begin.
00:30:15
They're going to go
into jury selection. But on the eve of his trial,
he decides to take a plea.
00:30:21
And Thomas pleads
to a reduced charge. BRIAN HARRIS: It doesn't fall
on deaf ears to the prosecutors,
00:30:27
to the defense team about the
staggering domestic violence stats that are out there.
00:30:34
It doesn't fall on deaf ears
that the victim herself, her life, she will be judged
about the choices that she
00:30:44
made, not only to
leave her husband, but that she was
ready to move on. And what kind of picture
were they going to paint?
00:30:52
That she was some harlequin
that was having an affair? VINNIE INFANTE: But then
also a lot of things
00:30:57
came out of the
woodwork afterwards finding out that she
cheated on dad 15 years prior with the same guy.
00:31:05
So I guess my parents did a
good job at covering things up. BRIAN HARRIS: You see, in
life, but also in death,
00:31:13
we have to treat our
victims with dignity. And this was the
chance for the state
00:31:18
to treat the victim with
dignity, while at the same time issuing punishment
to the perpetrator.
00:31:24
CAROLYN CANVILLE: He
pleads to first degree manslaughter, committed under
extreme emotional disturbance.
00:31:32
So this, we can imagine,
is the mitigating factor, which is going to
affect how we sentenced.
00:31:38
MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG:
Tom's lawyer pleads for a lenient sentence. He tells the court his client
has been under extreme pressure
00:31:45
in the weeks and months
leading up to the shooting. That is something that
Vinnie's happy to corroborate.
00:31:53
VINNIE INFANTE: My sister,
I think a couple of weeks before everything happened,
I guess she was doing some
00:31:59
off roading on her dirt bike. Hit a fence from
what I've heard. Went over the handlebars.
00:32:06
And the handlebar like
stabbed her in the stomach. So my mom was working. She picked her up
in an ambulance.
00:32:14
And she was with her
through the whole thing. That was really hard for dad. I know he was in the hospital
with her almost every day.
00:32:22
So was mom. So that was really hard
on the whole family. MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG: The same
month one of the Infante boys
00:32:31
had ended up in the
hospital after an accident on his four Wheeler. VINNIE INFANTE:
Same time period.
00:32:37
My brother was up in Maine and
got into a quadding accident. So he was in the hospital.
00:32:43
It was just a really hard
time for dad seeing three of his kids away from them. Two of them in hospital.
00:32:54
And then in between
mom cheating one him and him hating his
job and everything else
00:32:59
going on in his life, I
mean, a guy can only take so much the way I look at it. It's like his whole
world was falling apart.
00:33:06
MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG: Even
though they're virtually orphans, even though they're
still devastated by their mom's
00:33:11
death, some of
Tom Infante's kids still refuse to believe
that their dad is a killer.
00:33:18
CAROLYN CANVILLE: To testify
that while her father really loved her mother but she
could not remember a time
00:33:27
when the couple ever got along. And that seemed to be backed
up by a lot of people.
00:33:33
VINNIE INFANTE: Some
people think that there's sides to the whole thing. You're either on
mom's side or your
00:33:38
on dad's side, which
is totally not the case because I know at least, in
my shoes, I loved both of them
00:33:46
equally. They're my parents. I can't take sides. I know dad did what he did. Mom did what she did.
00:33:55
They both did bad things. But I can't really say I
love one more than the other,
00:34:05
even after everything
that happened. But you just can't take sides
to the whole circumstance.
00:34:15
CAROLYN CANVILLE: The
daughter's very close to dad. She's very defensive. And she says dad just
wanted to be loved.
00:34:21
That's all he wanted. He just wanted to be cared for. He loved my mom. They never got along.
00:34:27
I can't remember a time
when they ever got along. There was a lot of abuse. There was a lot of fighting.
00:34:31
There was a lot of
pain on both sides. But daddy always loved mom. MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG:
Prosecutors are not
00:34:37
buying this version of events. Witnesses describe Thomas
Infante as unpleasant, violent,
00:34:44
maybe even abusive. They describe Lisa as a woman
who was finally ready to break
00:34:49
free of a toxic marriage. BRIAN HARRIS: She
was a mother that was in a relationship crisis.
00:34:57
She had come to a
point in her life where she had made the
decision that this marriage
00:35:02
to her husband was
indeed going to end. She was ready to
move on and even had found another love interest.
00:35:09
KAREN JARMOC: There's
always a history. There's always a history. This just doesn't
extemporaneously occur one day.
00:35:16
There's always a
history and, generally, it's some kind of a build up. CAROLYN CANVILLE: Thomas was
a dark and sullen character.
00:35:25
He was depressed. But some of that depression,
I think you could argue, was of his own making.
00:35:31
He didn't take steps to change,
and he didn't ask for help. KAREN JARMOC: This
is not behavior
00:35:41
that you can blame
on, oh, so-and-so was drinking that day. Yes, OK, they may have
been drinking that day,
00:35:48
but that behavior has to exist
in that individual before. In fact, the prosecutors say
that this could even have
00:35:57
been a premeditated attack. BRIAN HARRIS: This is a man that
had to leave a location where
00:36:03
he was because he was no longer
in the home, came in the home, knew his children were
going to be in there.
00:36:09
CAROLYN CANVILLE:
He's made sure that he has ammunition for his gun. BRIAN HARRIS: Fired one round.
00:36:18
So he brought a
weapon into the home. CAROLYN CANVILLE: He
coldly grabbed a gun and held it to her head
and pulled the trigger
00:36:28
and ripped her life away. BRIAN HARRIS: Then
takes medicine, takes alcohol,
and tries to flee.
00:36:36
But he quickly realizes
the gig is going to go up. It's not a crime of passion
because he never claims that.
00:36:43
He never paints
himself as a victim. What does he do instead? I blacked out. I have no recollection.
00:36:51
I can't remember. I don't recall. It's the big blackout
bad guy defense. It's not a crime of passion.
00:37:00
This was well thought out. It was premeditated. Now, how it was
executed, a poor plan.
00:37:05
But he darn sure knew
what he was doing. CAROLYN CANVILLE:
He got his way. Thomas said, if
I can't have her,
00:37:12
no one will, and he killed her. No one can have Lisa now because
Thomas pulled that trigger.
00:37:19
Thomas made the
ultimate decision. MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG: When
he sentences Thomas Infante
00:37:25
the superior court judge tells
him people, for the most part, don't take the life
of another person.
00:37:33
It's a shame, he said. You couldn't keep
the photographs of your four
children in your head
00:37:39
and understand
what was happening. Thomas is sentenced
to 40 years in prison. Some of that term could be
suspended after 25 years.
00:37:49
BRIAN HARRIS: He will remain in
jail until he's over 80 years old, at least 25 calendar
years before he's
00:37:58
even eligible for parole. What no homicide
detective can explain is how a father can do
this to his own kids' mom.
00:38:08
That can't be explained. People often talk
about quick closure. That there's closure when
a homicide case is solved.
00:38:18
There's never any closure. VINNIE INFANTE:
It was definitely hard to get through it.
00:38:25
It was a lot all
at once, and nobody should ever go through that,
especially kids our age.
00:38:36
No matter what age you
are I guess it's hard. Some forgive dad, some don't. Some can talk to
him, some can't.
00:38:47
It's just really hard. You can't let it hold you back. If you eat you
alive, I mean, a lot
00:38:54
of people they would just go
down the hole and never return. BRIAN HARRIS: Those children
will grow up without a father.
00:39:03
And the deep wounds
and scars of knowing that their mother was murdered
and that she knew what
00:39:10
was coming. It's a lifelong of
pain and healing that that family is going
to have to go through.
00:39:16
VINNIE INFANTE: The whole
aftermath of it really kind of tore the family apart. No one goes to the
birthday parties
00:39:23
or Thanksgiving or
Christmases any more together. Me and my brothers
and sisters were
00:39:30
still really close, which that's
the most important thing to me. I wish everybody could
work together and be
00:39:38
one big, happy family
again, but I don't think that will ever be the case. MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG:
Lisa and Thomas Infante
00:39:52
were childhood friends and
high school sweethearts. They were married for 27 years.
00:39:58
But only a few of
them were good. Depressed and
facing the prospect of losing her to another man,
he made the devastating decision
00:40:08
to kill her. VINNIE INFANTE: The way I want
my mother to be remembered is not that she
cheated on my dad
00:40:15
because that's not
her personality. She was an EMT. She helped out the community.
00:40:23
Helped out people. I would just like
people to know her as a loving mother, as a great
person, great personality,
00:40:34
awesome to hang out with. I even actually miss
shopping with her, just like grocery shopping.
00:40:41
And I really just took that
for granted growing up. But now there's like nothing I
wouldn't do just to go grocery
00:40:50
shopping with her again. MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG:
Remember, the person most likely to kill you may
be the person you married.
00:41:00
I'm Michelle Trachtenberg,
and I'll see you next time on "Meet Mary Murder" [theme music]