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tonight on america's dumbest criminals sure it looks like a parrot but is it
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really a stool pigeon it's the middle of the night and do you know where your kid
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is we do and can you really call it a chase if the pace is this slow stick around because things are bound to pick
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up for a panty wagon full of perpetrators here on america's dumbest criminals
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[Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] wow [Music] [Applause] now welcome your host for america's
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dumbest criminals daniel butler and debbie allen [Music] hi there hey hey thank you debbie now
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may i ask you a personal question uh-oh i don't know anybody else i trust you
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make me nervous okay great i'll ask you here's the question what size shoe do
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you wear why in the world do you need to know my shoes i was just gonna get you a
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little gift oh okay in that case five and a half medium in a combat boot no no no
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but i figured you had tiny little feet because you have that tiny little body so it all
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goes going somewhere with the spider as a matter of fact i am our first story concerns a shoe imprint that led a crook
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to being tripped up now if you'd been the perpetrator of course they would have had to get out the microscopes can
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we just get to the story yeah here's the evidence that's as plain as the foot on
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this lady's face i'm detective robert stevens of the derral beach police department crimes
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against persons unit one of the most bizarre cases i've seen in 20 years here
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at the police department involved this sneaker we had a lady that was a victim of violent crime where the
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suspect stomped on her head with a sneaker the word brooks came up on her on her head and we did some research and
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found out that it was a 1989 high top basketball sneaker we were investigating the crime when the
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suspect came in on an unrelated crime to give another statement and lo and behold
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he had on the sneakers they took the sneakers off the suspect sent that off to the to the lab with the pictures of
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the injury on the lady's head and the lab was able to positively match the sneaker to her face as a result of his
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stupidity he's doing 50 years in prison yeah oh yeah i'm sure it hurt but
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she is fine now and i think she's getting an endorsement deal from the sneaker company stop well she coulda
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all right now here's a trail that was a little tougher to follow than a set of
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shoe prints it starts off as a simple robbery but ends in a photo finish see what we mean as we open the scrapbook on
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something to remember me by [Music] i was investigating a forgery case where a person had stolen approximately two
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boxes of chicks and in these two boxes i had learned that two of them were written by a female well this got me a
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little excited and these were different because all the others were written with a male
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signature and one of these was written to a department store which is local in our
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city and i went to that department store but we started looking into this check and on the back of the check has numbers
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which indicates what the person had purchased and we found that this person had purchased a whole bunch of film
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me and the security officer went to the film department in order to check this out
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and when we started looking we both looked over at the self-portrait studio of the
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department oh that's nice and we both looked at each other and says no way we can't believe this nobody
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can be this stupid we went to the department and asked the girl who worked behind behind the
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counter and she was able to pull up the person's name their address and phone number all
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within right there and sure enough this person had purchased all these photos of themselves
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and a friend with a forged check and we looked at each other and we just couldn't believe that it would be this
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easy [Music] those glamour shots you gotta watch out you've heard of acting like a kid in a
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candy store but how does a kid act in a convenience store especially a kid in a convenience store long after closing
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time well we've got the answer on this surveillance footage [Music] you're watching a 14 year old boy
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stocking up on all the things that santa didn't bring him like cigarettes and
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lighters when he trips an alarm he heads for some place kinda like the north pole the
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dairy case hoping to hide there he removes cottons of milk but an officer finds him in under two minutes
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remember son santa finds out who's naughty or nice [Applause] [Music] [Applause]
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[Music] [Applause] hey here's another dumb law in kentucky a person is considered sober until he or
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she cannot hold on to the ground well you can't hold on to the ground now that is drunk which reminds me of a
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story about two guys who were three sheets to the wind when they decided just to sail on home but with the help
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of a police officer in pensacon new jersey their plans ran aground [Music] [Applause]
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several years ago we did a sobriety checkpoint on the wednesday night prior to thanksgiving which is a notoriously
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um busy drunk driving night probably the busiest of the year one of the people that sticks in my mind was a car that
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was pulled in on suspicion of the operator driving while intoxicated the driver informed us that they were
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coming back from a party and that he was not the designated driver for the drunk
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passenger he was the devastated driver for the joint passenger so of course he was arrested and uh
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neither one of them fared that well that evening and you never want to get into a car
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with a devastated driver well you want proof that it's a small world get the
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details on how a thief is clearly beaten by the odds when he tries to use a stolen credit card it's this week's blue
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light special of all the people shopping at this mall a crook picked this woman a guy pulled
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up in his car and i i thought he was gonna ask me directions because he just kind of pulled up and like hesitated a
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minute and then he just reached hand out grabbed my pocketbook and took off he hurried to this office supply store
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where he bought an 800 printer then decided to continue his shopping spree at this electronics store
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meanwhile the victim notified police then she called her husband who just happens to work at the very store that
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the purse snatcher and his accomplice had selected at the same time that he's
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talking to his wife on the telephone an employee at the store is explaining to him that somebody's trying to use a
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stolen credit card when they came in they were kind of nervous and then when i started showing them the
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camcorders they uh immediately said we'll take this one and i thought it was too quick smelling
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a rat he alerted the husband you know it was just too unbelievable to even to you know to think that these guys
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that had just stolen my wife's pocketbook were here in the store using my credit card
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the woman and her husband were amazed at their good fortune while the crook felt
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beaten to a pulp by lady luck what are the eyes that lady was robbed 26 miles from her husband's store go
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figure they say that the dog is man's best friend but it's apparent that the parrot
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in our next story makes an excellent partner for the police except for trying to make those little bitty bulletproof
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vests now see how polly and the police work together and getting this crook to talk
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my name is michael doherty i'm in stillwater oklahoma police department i was assigned to work property crimes
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here at the police department had a report that a burglary had occurred at a pet store
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[Music] and there you are there you are no suspects and no evidence i overheard a suspect at the police department being
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interviewed about a separate case and he indicated that a reggie had a new parent
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i went out and found reggie and i brought him in for an interview in the interview i continually accused
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reggie of uh the burglary and he sit and denied it and running out of everything else i
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could think of to say i finally told reggie i've got a witness that i gave a
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polygraph to he passed it and told me that you did this burglary and he demanded to know who this was and
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i said the parrot told me you did this reggie's eyes dropped to the floor and
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he thought he thought just a couple of moments he raised back up and said that little son of a
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driver met him and took care of him he ratted me out he was convicted of that crime we spent
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10 years in prison and now we call him the stool parrot [Music] [Applause] [Music]
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[Applause] [Music] up in just a minute a car chase only speeds up when it becomes a foot race
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but first with news cobbled together with rumor in hearsay here's daniel with
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adc headlines [Music] [Applause] now how much influence does media have on behavior well apparently a lot at
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least for one 68-year-old woman in seattle she was busted for shoplifting four packs of cigarettes motivated by
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hearing judge wapner of the people's court say quote everybody steals at least once in their
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lives who would have thought judge wapner could exert that kind of influence on our culture i mean besides the rain man
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an accused bigamist came up with a novel defense to explain why he agreed to marry a second woman before divorcing
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his first wife he claimed his overwhelming sexual desire diminished his mental capacity
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insert your own clinton joke here as but we wish him well as he shares a cell with guys whose nicknames are definitely
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not einstein or edison if you get my drift now for a crime that you'd expect only
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in atlantis a woman in trenton new jersey was robbed of 91 dollars in food stamps by a tall man wearing a black
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rubber suit and flippers who threatened to shoot her she offered no resistance because the man was carrying a long case
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that she believed might have contained a spear gun well there you have your lloyd bridges
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sea hunt memorial moment for tonight and with that we close the file on adc headline news
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ripped from somewhere near the back of your local newspaper gabby [Music] thank you daniel you've seen the sign
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that says slow men working or slow men working this next story could have used a sign that said slow men escaping and
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if you think crooks live life in the fast lane this footage from los angeles might change your mind
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by the time we've picked up the action if you could call it action one man has
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jumped out of the vehicle and made a break for it on foot it probably made for a faster getaway
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than what you see here slowing things down even more is the fact that police officers have flattened
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this hit-and-run suspect's car leaving him to roll on down the highway on his rims
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maybe we should pick up the case on our end that's a little more like a chase but
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finally the man decides to try something else or maybe he just got bored he runs
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across the train tracks and even takes time for a little backyard conversation as he goes along his not so merry way
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but all bad things have to come to an end so he is finally brought to a halt at a stop sign
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so much for living life in the fast lane okay you know there's a reason the police
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officers wear uniforms so they won't be naked no it's so that everyone in the
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world will know who they are it makes perfect sense well except to this one dope dealer who apparently didn't get
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the memo on this universal truth here's a perfect example of why we have a feature called i'm where you're who
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all right i'm steve aldrich i'm a sergeant with the holly hill police department
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we were working on a narcotics bus one night and after we made our original bust i was driving the
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car that we'd confiscated back to the police department i needed a phone number off the telephone booth so i
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pulled into one and this guy approached me he asked me if he could buy a 20 which was 20 worth of rock cocaine but
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not here there's cops everywhere i said really i said well come on get in so he goes around the side of the car
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starts to get in sitting on my evidence so i picked it up i put it beside me he sits down
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starts back up he goes just go around the block and i'm still wearing all my police gear
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so we started around the block didn't you turn i said how much was that you needed again
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it said a 20. so he gives me two tens i said okay start driving back to the police department he looks at my shirt
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and says are you in the sheriff's department i said no drive a little further he looks over again he goes
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police department i said yes let me just go back to the first part and put him in
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the deal we love it when the bad guys make it easy for the good guys now some things
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like that pretty well defy explanation and this next story is a case in point but let me warn you he is not
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overdressed for this occasion after a call for a domestic disturbance we arrived at a residence
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and we noticed some windows were broken one of the deputies went up and spoke to
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the residents of the the home and found out there had been a domestic disturbance that had occurred
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the male subject had left was someplace in the general area after that we attempted to locate the suspect checking
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the outbuildings and all the ground around there and saw some feet under a vehicle the gentleman
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wasn't really interested in coming out too quickly which sometimes criminals aren't
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interested in coming out right away as i recall we actually pulled him out and found that the man was
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naked he was new back naked of course we handcuffed him as a precautionary measure
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he seemed to be pretty well intoxicated and we were able to secure him enough to
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place him in my patrol vehicle and i escorted him to the saline county jail in the nude but we were kind enough when
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we got him here to put a blanket around him i've seen some interesting things but
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nothing quite as funny as a naked guy under a vehicle that i've had to drive
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to jail that's about as funny as it can get in 20 years [Music] [Applause] [Music]
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[Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] all right almost everyone gets a ticket once or twice in a lifetime not me
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yeah yeah but you make florence nightingale look like mayweather come on i just try to live right yeah
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well maybe you should set up a big sister relationship with this next crook he stacked up a whopping 405
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thousand dollars in fines okay they don't take mastercard for that you probably won't believe the reason
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unless you hear it directly from a police officer involved in bringing the man to justice check it out
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[Music] i'm captain jeff cameron and we're here at the redona beach police department in
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california well the story that we've got here is one about a suspect who walked into
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trouble with the police actually we had an officer respond in the early morning hours to a suspicious subject
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and as part of his investigation he ran a warrant check on this suspect as it turned out he had 405 000 with
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warrants sounds like a lot of money but what's even more impressive is those
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warrants were for jaywalking four of the ranks were for crossing the street outside the crosswalk standing on
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the center divider ninety thousand crossing against a red light ninety thousand standing on the center divider another
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ninety thousand crossing against a red light another ninety roughly rounded off it totaled to be about 405 thousand
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dollars at once and the only car that he got into was a police car so you might say that this suspect
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walked into trouble with the police trouble that warranted his arrest somebody needs to teach him the rules
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hey 405 000 that'll take your house and your bass boats yeah you better watch your step
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especially if you're in redondo beach california no kidding well we're out of
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time for this edition but there's more dumb to come next week i like that dumb
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to come here if you've got a lead on the story or you just can't wait till next
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week for more state of the art stupidity visit our website at www.dumbcrimes.com
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we want to thank you for joining us and extend our gratitude to the law enforcement officers who make this show
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possible every day they lay their lives on the line to keep us safe from the stupidity of would-be criminals
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as always we hope that we've all learned from others mistakes but if you still
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haven't you just might be on america's dumbest criminals next week [Applause]
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[Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] uh [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause]
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wow [Music] uh you